#BUT I think that also points to 'Jamie wasn't around his dad when he was very young'

[liesmyth]

Yeah, I mean, you can take it that way if you want. But Jamie says that 1) his parents split up when he was very young 2) his mother got him into football (and didn't care how he played) 3) his dad "started showing up" when he got good.

Like, having seen James I struggle to believe James would care about his primary-school-aged son, especially as we know for a fact that he wasn't involved in Jamie's budding football career. Having seen Georgie, I struggle even more to believe Georgie would let any overnights happen when Jamie was a child tbh, because there's no way a man who walked out on his toddler kid would retain custody.

With everything we've seen in canon, from the house Jamie grew up in (that's a boy who was cherished growing up!) to the way he smiles fondly at those exuberant, mouthy estate kids (that was 100% Jamie as a child) to the way he acts and behaves (bounces back, emotionally resilient, fundamentally happy person with healthy self-worth and a solid work ethic) - IMO none of this points to "Jamie was around his abusive dad as a child" beyond the fact that canon doesn't go out of its way to explicitly say it didn't happen.

icon what’s the fanon jamie grievance…. I love your take on him so much, i’m so curious lol

Ok, disclaimer that I'm not vagueing @ anyone specific with this, just a general trend I've noticed.

The TLDR is that Jamie gets the over-the-top woobie treatment, an old fandom tradition wherein you have a special guy and he HAS to be the saddest guy ever. This is fine! It's yummy! BUT it's a very liberal interpretation of what we're actually shown in canon, and I hate that it's treated like the assumed default.

This goes for a lot of things—for example: nobody around Jamie thinks that he’s thick or slow and Jamie sure as hell doesn’t think so!—but the biggest offender TO ME is that Jamie’s dad wasn’t around during Jamie’s childhood. Period. We’ve known this since S1! His dad left when he was very young and only showed up once Jamie “got good” enough that he was a serious prospect for a professional career and gave James clout and bragging rights and access to his favourite club. (So, not as soon as he got scouted, because so many boys get cut. We're talking England U16 at the earliest.)

Broadly… there’s kind of a tendency in fandom to give Jamie, like, some kind of Dickensian orphan backstory. Like James should define him, when he's just one (1) piece of a much broader mosaic.

Jamie is so many things. He’s remarkably well-adjusted, emotionally open, he IS a prick, he has a very healthy self-esteem and a very solid perception of his own self-worth. He is a hard worker who enjoys a good night out, he's a competitive elite athlete who doesn't wallow in self-pity (cough. Roy)—and he also has a shit dad, but it isn't THE thing that defines him. He's much more complicated than that! There were many more influences in his life than just his dad’s sporadic presence!

Again we’ve known since S1 that his mother was the one who got him into football! I guarantee that he's had some good coaches before Ted, as well as a normal amount of mediocre ones. He’s had friends before Richmond and girlfriends before Keeley, even if it wasn't serious. He's had teammates he liked and a team he was happy to be on. He just… had a more varied life than just overwhelming misery.

Personally, I find all of this way more compelling than if he’d “just” had a sadfest sort of background. Some people don’t, and that’s great! Some people like different things for their faves. Some people project a lot on their blorbos. All of this is fine and it can be super fun, but it bugs the hell out of me when it’s treated like a general assumption— again, it’s totally cool if you want it to be like this! We all let headcanons colour an interpretation, I sure as hell do that. Buuut there's a difference between "this interpretation is a bit far fetched but I don't care because it's fun TO ME" and "no actually THIS is how it is even if canon disagrees".

Follow-up ask answered here

[masochistartt]

okay fuck it jamie self perception post

jamie has been signed to city since he was a child. this is how the academy system works - they recruit players (children) from local grassroots leagues and bring them into their club system, hoping to raise them up to play for their club in the future (or sell them off to other teams for profit). these players are typically between the ages of 9 and 10 when they're first recruited, but can be younger/older. they're evaluated every year, and players can be cut at any time.

i think jamie joined city when he was around 9, solely because of the fact that he said his dad started showing up when he got good at football, and georgie my beloved would not let jamie go on a trip abroad with a complete stranger to him when he was 14. i think james started coming back around when jamie was somewhere between 11 and 12, playing for city's u14 team, and his skill at that age level is how james heard about him (it's not uncommon to hear about great players who are that age. city recently signed a like. legendary 14 year old and i've heard about it (young boys should not be having their egos inflated like that at 14 but that's beside the point)).

that's a whole lot of rambling before i even start touching on the original point – the contract jamie's had signed since he was ~9 that dictates what he must and mustn't do. this is the idea that he's had of himself in his head from that very young age.

screenshots are provided from the 23/24 premier league youth development forms bc honestly i cba to go back and find anything older (i've tried looking and it's not working so you're getting this) but

the scholar here is the academy player. 5.1.3 and 5.1.4 are what interest me here. jamie was obligated to not only train & play to the best of his ability always, but he was obligated to maintain a high standard of physical fitness at all times from the age of 9.

think of the thoughts that might put in a young jamie tartt's mind. he had to be at his peak always. if he wasn't at his peak, he was disobeying his contract. he was owned by his club, and he knew that if they sell him, they'll make a whole lot of money off of him (there's a certain base fee x number of years the player was trained + extras = total homegrown player transfer fee algorithm but i don't want to do math rn so im not touching on that). i don't think jamie ever wanted city to sell him, so i think he put pressure on himself to be at his best always, to never let his standards slip, and when james came back into the picture, that pressure only grew exponentially.

it's also interesting looking at the "the scholar shall not" section of the contract. 5.3.1 is interesting bc like. if the club (city) didn't think his house on the estate was safe they could've fully just. Moved Him. but 5.3.3 is insane to me. especially the beginning. "the scholar shall not indulge in any activity or practice which might endanger his fitness". this means no fun roller skating birthday parties. this means jamie probably knew how to ride a bike before he was 9 bc if he "indulged" in learning when he was with city that might have endangered his fitness. no rock climbing. no tree climbing.

and if jamie took things as seriously as i think he did (boy really wanted to play football, that was his dream in life, i don't think he would've purposely done anything to endanger that dream), i think he missed out on some fun in his childhood solely bc he was Keeping His Body In Full Fitness For His Club.

which brings us to Adult Jamie. bc he was raised in this environment, raised with the mindset of My Body Belongs To My Club, My Body is an Asset for my Club, it makes even more sense why he'd put up with the auction at the gala without starting a fight (even if the whole manipulate keeley & possibly bribe bex thing happened behind the scenes).

his club (even though he was on loan, it was his club for the season), was auctioning off Its Own Asset (jamie's body) to the highest bidder for a night. jamie's body, from a very, very young age (does jamie remember much before he was signed to city? i don't think so) has always Belonged to His Club.

this is also part of the reason that i headcanon jamie doesn't like driving - driving is, in his mind an Activity Which Might Endanger His Fitness.

also. for the record. this stuff is also in the professional player's contracts too.

the player agrees to maintain a high standard of physical fitness at all times and not to indulge in any activity sport or practice which might endanger such fitness.

3.1.6 is another reason i think jamie went along with the stuff at the gala too. the player agrees to comply with and act in accordance with all lawful instructions of any authorised official of the club. rebecca/higgins/whoever put on the gala is an authorised official of the club. he kind of. had to by contract not put up a fight with them about this

the player agrees that he shall not undertake or be involved in any activity or practice which will knowingly cause to be void or voidable...policy of insurance maintained for the benefit of the club on the life of the player or covering his physical well-being including injury.

he still can't do anything that might get him hurt. i ignore that he engages in kink practice both in canon and in my own headcanons bc i think the heavier kink stuff really only comes in later seasons' timelines and even then he's engaging in that kink stuff with someone(s) who knows that this stuff is in his contract. they know his limits.

anyways something something jamie's body is an asset for his club (city and then richmond) and i think that says a lot about the way he views himself. you know ?

[izzyspussy]

fic where Jamie does something that will piss his dad off (not hard to do) and it ends up in the public eye somehow. maybe it started that way and Jamie just wasn't thinking it through at the time - or he was and decided to do it anyway, or maybe somebody was supposed to keep their mouth shut and didn't, or maybe it's another data breach, but whatever it is it gets out and it gets in the news cycle.

and maybe Jamie thought he was handling it okay but then suddenly wasn't, or maybe he found out his laundry was being aired at training like the lads all found out about it happening to Keeley. regardless, he ends up rushing into the managers' office - the closest room with a semblance of privacy, despite being occupied - to have a brief but spectacular panic attack about it.

because it just happens to be something his dad is not going to let slide, something he won't be satisfied yelling at Jamie over the phone about. he's gonna come around to show Jamie by hand exactly how he feels about it.

when the coaches question him, Jamie gives the barest bones explanation he can manage. this is what came out, if you haven't heard, and I'm freaking out because my dad is gonna want to teach me a lesson about it.

"So what you're saying is you need a place to stay," Roy says. Not a question. An offer, actually, if you speak Kentese. But Jamie shakes his head resignedly.

"No," he sighs bitterly. "Probably'll need a day or two off training, though."

There's a long, horrible pause - a pause where Beard gets exactly what Jamie means and Ted and Roy want so bad not to that they don't.

"Let me see if I have this right," Beard says, more to force the issue on the other two than because he himself needs any clarification - or because he has the faintest pipe dream that spelling it out will make Jamie change his mind. "You're planning to take a beating?"

Bitter, still bitter, Jamie says, "He don't fucking give up more than I do. Let him get it out of his system, then it's over."

There's another pause - Beard doesn't know what to say to that - before Roy asks, "What if he lost?"

"Lost...?" Jamie repeats.

"To you," Roy explains. "You're saying if he shows up your house and you're not there he'll just keep coming round, yeah? What if he shows up and you beat his arse into the fucking ground like he deserves. Would he still come back then?"

"Self-defense," Beard assures no one in particular.

But Jamie shakes his head again, this time quick and jerky. "I can't-" he says. He throws a nervous, furtive look at Ted.

"He can fucking be wrong sometimes, Jamie," Roy snaps - gently, for Roy - catching on quick.

Jamie doesn't answer, but Ted himself nods. He says, calm as a cucumber, "I can't agree with the rest, but that part sure is true."

"You can," Beard tells Jamie. Also gently - for Beard. Jamie's mouth twists miserably.

"Yeah," he finally agrees. "But I fucking won't, will I?"

"You only think that because you haven't yet," Beard insists.

"That actually ain't true," Ted points out, carefully cheerful. "I didn't see much else after," he shifts uncomfortably, a bit guilty, "but you put that man on his back in Wembley."

"...Are you encouraging this?" Jamie asks him, too confused to be aghast. Ted leans forward on his desk to regard Jamie with a serious, slightly self-deprecating smile.

"Well, it's like Roy said, I can be wrong sometimes," he says. "And these two fellas seem to think this is one of those times. Now, they both wouldn't be here if I didn't trust their judgement." He sits back then, softly tosses up his hands, smiles a little wider. "So I'll keep my wrong opinion to myself."

Jamie huffs a small, genuine but still slightly unsure laugh at that. He hesitates for a moment longer, but then he squares up his shoulders and lifts his chin and turns to Roy.

"No," he says. "No, he wouldn't come back if I did that."

[thetarttfuldickhead]

For the first sentence: It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself.

I couldn’t settle on any one scenario, so uh, have 5 times when it wasn’t Jamie’s fault + 1 time when it very much was. You’re welcome?

You can also read it on AO3.

1.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Blinking his eyes, blinking away stupid fucking tears, he tried to focus on the road as he took a left turn, exiting Manchester proper.

Dr. Sharon would tell him as much, he was sure. Roy, too, though he’d have to grit the words out between swallowing down all the I told you so:s he’d no doubt be fighting hard not to throw in Jamie’s face.

Dad wouldn’t agree with either of them, of course, judging by the way he’d snarled and wagged his finger in Jamie’s face, unsteadily leaning against the door to the flat Jamie had gotten him once he got out of rehab. “Couldn’t be bothered to get here on Friday like you said you would, could you, son, and what was I supposed to do all by meself all night, eh, just sit around and twiddle me thumbs like a twat?”

2.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. He wanted to say as much, profess his innocence to Roy’s sister as she carefully pushed and prodded at Roy’s knee while Roy bit back enough swears to keep Phoebe in sweets for a year.

After all, it hadn’t been Jamie who decided that they would go for a run; wasn’t Jamie who laid out the route, or decided how far they should go, or how fast.

It had been for his benefit, though. And it’d been him who kept on going, pushing on and on because he wanted to prove a point, wanted to prove to Roy that he could do it, that he wasn’t soft, wouldn’t quit, wouldn’t break.

And in the end, it wasn’t Jamie who broke.

3.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Or, if it was, it wasn’t only his fault, because that’s what Ted had been going on about, wasn’t it – how Jamie was only one of eleven, and that meant it wasn’t all down to just him if things went poorly, or if they went well.

Hard to fucking remember that, when he saw the defeated looks on his teammates’ faces as they walked off the pitch in the pouring rain and with the other team’s jubilant cheers still in their ears. Hard to remember that when remembering the sitter he’d missed early in the second half was so very easy.

A familiar hand fell on his shoulder, and a familiar gruff voice murmured in his ear: hey, it was a bad game for all of us, it wasn’t just you.

Jamie gave a curt nod, and tried to believe him.

4.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Yes, it was his birthday, and yes, it was him who’d nagged Roy into coming with him to the club, but it was Roy who’d dragged him out into the alley and kissed him like he wanted to devour him whole, and they’d both been too drunk, on beer and on each other, to notice the wanker with the phone.

“Papers won’t run it until you make a statement one way or the other, but it’s fucking everywhere on Twitter,” Keeley had told them over the phone after all hell broke lose, sounding as apologetic as if she’d been the one to out them. “I’m so sorry, boys, but not even Rebecca can bury this, and believe me, she’s tried, I think she even threatened to have people killed at some point.”

“Well, happy fucking birthday to me,” Jamie told Roy sourly as he tossed the phone aside and curled up closer to the other man. “For this year I got a hairy old boyfriend.”

5.

It wasn't his fault, Jamie desperately reminded himself. Keeley had already told him that, repeatedly and in between emptying her stomach into the loo.

“This wasn’t your fault, Jamie,” she had assured him, face pale and her hair a sweaty mess that he held back for her. “We’ve ordered from that place loads of times, and there’s never been a problem before.”

And that was true, wasn’t it, but it was also true that he’d been supposed to make dinner for them last night, only he’d been running late after shopping with Isaac so he’d picked up curries on the way back and now Keeley was curled up on the bathroom floor instead of getting ready for the weekend trip they’d been planning for ages.

Roy was going to fucking kill him.

+ 1.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Jamie told Roy as innocently as he could manage, but he knew he wasn’t able to fully hide the smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“It absolutely fucking was,” Roy told him flatly, wiping uselessly at his stained trousers and shooting the giggling Keeley a reproachful glare. But when he turned his eyes back on Jamie there was a dark glimmer in them. “You’ll pay for this when we get home,” he promised.

Mmm, yes. Jamie was rather counting on it.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

a list of things from my season 2 rewatch, in no particular order:

there's a mundane practicality to Nate that's kind of embarrassingly relatable. "I was going to buy a suit but it was really expensive so I borrowed one from my dad" in season 1; "he's going to use a lot of water" about Dani's breakdown in the showers in 2x01. This is... basically exactly how I would respond to both these situations

Very funny that the man Roy describes as "settling for fine" is almost exclusively shown telling stories about almost beating up elderly celebrities

"Do you believe the return of Jamie Tartt will impact that so called 'vibe'" I don't have a point I just love this line.

love everyone supporting Sam in the Dubai Air protest but I feel like researching the sponsorships is probably supposed to be someone's job? That being said they were already the sponsor in season 1 and Rupert probably wouldn't care that their parent company was polluting Nigeria, and I can see how re-doing all the due diligence on the established sponsorships wouldn't be high up in the line of priorities

start of some tonal problems — trying to reintegrate Jamie into the team by shouting and flipping tables comes off a bit weird as a comedy beat when the previous episode has Jamie openly discussing his abusive father

kind of hilarious that the kebab guy thinks Ted is Roy's dad when he's like. maybe 8 years older

the end of 2x05 is very clearly a reference to something (presumably a romcom) and I believe the fact that I don't know what it is makes it much funnier. I do feel kind of bad that Roy has to spend the entire match in a suit when it appears to be quite cold outside, though

"maybe there's a good reason she hasn't replied. maybe she got hit by a bus." (Isaac) "or a train?" (Dani) they are so good at comforting

I tend to need a fair bit of personal space myself so I absolutely understand where Keeley is coming from in 2x07, and the way Roy responds to learning that she feels smothered ("I feel like a fucking idiot," "you've been making out like I'm following you around like some creepy shadow" (paraphrased)) is obviously a product of his own insecurities and he doesn't initially seem to understand that alone time is a legitimate need that doesn't inherently reflect poorly on him,  but ultimately I think the problem itself is more a result of Keeley's difficulty expressing her own needs than of Roy failing to intuit them

The first time I heard Jamie say his thing about giving Richard space I thought he was trying to subliminal message Roy. He definitely wasn't but I was very impressed for a second there

The hug. The HUUUUUG. I am having a feeling

my controversial favourite episode is Beard After Hours — it feels like an episode of a different show, but TL is a bit of an outlier in terms of my tastes and 2x09 is closer to the norm. That being said I didn't start watching until after all of season 2 had come out and might feel differently if I'd been watching the episodes as they came out

the bit where they're singing at the funeral makes me want to crawl out of my skin with vicarious embarrassment. I have never managed to listen to this entire bit with the sound up.

Is sparkling water actually much more common in the UK than in the US? I'm Canadian and it's generally not the default kind of water to offer people, but it's also not as much of a novel concept as it seems to be to Ted.

[lunar-years]

everyone has different interpretations of scenes, but for real that scene with jamie and roy was just plain sexist. roy seriously said "i don't know if we're getting back together because she's a woman and you never know". like what the absolute fuck was that line? they showed up to her house condescending, completely unapologetic about their behaviour, and treated her like a trophy prize. she deserved to beat them up. jamie and roy have always been troubled characters, but they were never (not even in season one) sexist assholes. the show went out of its way multiple times to establish that even when they made mistakes it was due to personal insecurity and not misogyny.

and whenever it was something misogynistic, it was heavily criticised as such, which, in this episode, it was not. a lot of people did seriously not catch the blatant sexism of it at all and went "that's how these men act" (again, what the fuck?). jamie spent season three being respectful of roy and keeley's breakup and not making a move on her, out of consideration of roy's feelings. roy, who knows how abusive jamie's father is, probably better than any other male character on the show, physically assaulted him. despite the fact that throughout the season roy has been approaching jamie with affection, realizing that's what he needs to feel secure (complete disrespect to 2x08 too, one of the best episodes of the series). and while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts. jamie, who gave keeley a truly heartfelt apology about the leaked video, making a point to not victim-blame or engage in literally ANY other sexist behaviour, just brings it up to upset roy in a dick-measuring contest. and one episode ago, one fucking episode ago, they were all getting along, keeley and roy were obviously trying to get back together, and jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it. they were holding hands on his bed and he saw them and smiled! regardless of whether you think the roykeeley arc was rushed (i do), jamie might have been heartbroken or sad, but he wasn't, not once, established as jealous of them. and this entire season was devoted to roy and jamie becoming friends by slowly growing comfortable around each other and actually trusting each other. every single one of those things was thrown into the trash. and yeah, sure, progress isn't linear and perfection isn't possible for people, but that WAS NOT regression. roy and jamie were never sexist dicks. those were two completely different characters.

ALSO, this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed, even if you are generally not like that in your life. it's not. in reality, you're either sexist or you're not, and doing this in one scenario will absolutely mean that you will be sexist in different scenarios too. nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others. implying that this isn't the case shows a very poor understanding of feminist theory and ted lasso has more or less done a good job at not being sexist. i feel like this really excuses unacceptable behaviour that the show itself tells us, with rupert particularly, has very real consequences that perpetuate violence against women. to me, the light-hearted resolution of that whole scene was terrible and poorly written at best. people in the writers' room typed that scene, read through it, and did not find it weird at all. though it's not the first time in the third season, see: forgiving jamie's dad and far-right bigots (???).

and lastly, when people were asking for a love triangle resolution, they meant something fitting for the year of our lord 2023. healthy communication and conversations, mutual respect and love between the charactets, maybe even polyamory (3x11 had a great ot3 set up, too). nobody meant we wanted something from the fucking 1950s. literally the only worse way this could have played out would have been if keeley ended up with the one that caused the other more damage. legit disgraceful ending for roy and jamie as characters, and for the show as well. considering everything it has stood for so far.

(i'm sorry if this reads like i'm calling people out, i'm not, really, i'm just very mad. and also really sad, because i did not go into the ted lasso finale expecting unaddressed sexism. like that was Really Very Bad. for this show especially).

woahhh there's a lot going on here, anon. For anyone wondering, I'm assuming this is a response to this post of mine. While I don't mind discussion or being called out... this does feel like something that could've very well been your own post or an open response to mine instead of an anon note. Because if you've read my meta, you'll probably already know I'm not going to agree with you on this.

Just gonna drop a few short thoughts because I don't have energy to write a think piece when my broader thoughts are already contained in my original post:

I'm not sure where you think I was trying to excuse their words or pretending they weren't being sexist or like they weren't treating Keeley as a weapon in their own games or a prize to be won. I think there's a difference between excusing someone's actions versus trying to understand where they were coming from for the characters and where they are at now.

"while we're on the topic of violence, roy and jamie were never this violent with each other, even when they hated each other's guts" Roy & Jamie were literally beating each other up in the locker room and brawling right out there on the pitch in season 1, anon.

"Keeley and Roy were obviously trying to get back together, and Jamie wasn't one bit bothered by it." this is just not true. Roy was trying to get back together with Keeley. Keeley wasn't shown to be reciprocal (beyond sleeping with him, which is a repeated pattern of behavior for her on the show, and something she in fact did with Jamie in season one), and Roy misinterprets it, as Jamie misinterpreted it. In fact, I'd argue Roy deciding it was a good idea to try and make him and Keeley happen right there in Jamie's bedroom with Jamie crying to his mum one room over, shows he wasn't thinking about Jamie, not when it comes to Keeley. Roy wants what Roy wants and he assumed he was going to get it. And Jamie went through a whole journey of expressions when he opened that bedroom door, so I don't think it's fair to say he "wasn't one bit bothered." I think we've established at this point Roy and Jamie both love Keeley and have always been weird and jealous about it with the other.

"this scene normalizes the idea that it's perfectly forgivable to revert back to sexism whenever emotionally distressed" this scene didn't normalize anything, because the show immediately acknowledged that Jamie and Roy were both in the wrong and had Keeley rightfully kick them to the curb for it. The narrative was not that this is okay or acceptable behavior. I definitely didn't see the scene as light-hearted

"nobody in real life will be sexist in some areas of their life and feminist in others." i am a woman who considers herself very much a feminist. That doesn't mean I've never had moments of internalized misogyny or made harmful comments that buy into a patriarchal narrative, despite myself. Well-intentioned people make mistakes. We are all works in prog-mess trying to get through life as the best people we can be. Jamie and Roy, in my opinion, are fictional iterations of the same principle. I don't think this comes even close to destroying their entire characters in the way you are implying.

All the best x

[lillybearrie]

Wanna say this outright. This is not (trying not to be at least) an Icarus apologist post you can read it however you would like however they are in the wrong they never should have gone after Jamie they shouldn't be listening to Fable there was no logical reason to kill anyone the should not be fighting for the sake of "daddy said it'll be ok in the end" this is simply how I see where they're headspace may be and how that influences their actions because for one i go abababa and for 2 o think it's important to see their logic however twistedand flawed and just factual incorrect it may be. This us also not me condemning Rae's actions today quite frankly I applaud his restraint it was admirable

Now back to your regularly scheduled Icarus psychoanalysis:

Icarus feels out of control and when they don't have control in their life they act erratically because if they have nothing else then they can have their identity as The Lunatic who kills an tortures for the hell of it and they lean into it because well they're already in the hole might as well keep digging maybe then when they're down so far those at the top will stop shouting stop throwing down rope stop begging them to come back up maybe at some point they'll see it's worthless to try and pull them out they aren't worth it they've never been worth it.

"You not worth another reset"

Rae his brother his friend his family the one who has always always cared when no one else did when no one else would who saw hope were there wasn't any the man who has held him and he has held so many times on some of the darkest days no longer believes in him. And why should he? They killed his nephew for fuck's sake! He finally realized what everyone has always said is true. Icarus is the unsalvageable insane monster who has convinced themself that death is temporary can be temporary will be temporary if they just kill a few more. They're erratic They're dangerous and they don't care who they're hurting in the process. And now Rae knows it. But it's ok they don't need Rae and his soft words and gentle touch they don't need his kind smiles or open doors they have fable they have their dad the man just like them the man whose going to fix everything the mortal with the power of over half the pantheon in the palm of his hand Their dad will fix everything they don't need anyone else...yeah they... they don't need anyone their perfectly fine on their own.

But you know who does need someone? Vanda yeah Vanda needs help she's injured and that wing isn't going to heal at all is she keeps flapping around like that. So Icarus sits out in the rain calming her speaking gently as they coaxed her into their hands holding her gently against their chest as they make it back inside and they take a look at that wing giving her seeds when she cooperated. Icarus wonders how long she's been like this out in the rain all alone with a broken wing. Icarus stays awake for longer then they have been in recent past because Vanda needs the attention and maybe their being a bit to careful but better safe than sorry especially with wing like that you have to be very gentle. Icarus knows how take care of their birds

(This is not about the birds)

[variousqueerthings]

wrote a long post about subtle changes i would have put into s3 of ted lasso to set it up as a four-part show, accidentally wrote another post now about potential s4 stuff (but do not have it in me to write out an episode by episode structure post)

but also really the main gist is that why I was initially confused at the 3-season structure (and then I felt right in having felt it should have been longer when I did watch the season, despite liking where it ultimately landed on those final scenes), was that everything barring ted himself felt like it needed a bit more time

if ted ended s3 by making his decision and telling rebecca (either on or off screen, but if it were cliff-hanger I'd say off) and then having all of s4 setting that up while he's in a much better place to help others with their various things after a s3 where he was so in his own head that he wasn't a very good coach for almost all of it -- and then also a story about when he's planning on telling the team

if one could have fully dealt with sam's narrative about being hounded for standing up for his ideals and grounded him more centrally and built up to him joining the nigerian national team, rather than jumping to it, and given proper space to his interpersonal relationships (such as with the woman managing his restaurant, sorry I forget her name rn)

if nate could have had a whole season after being with west ham where he's back with the team, in which he could have, yes, made it up to some people, but also dealt with how it felt to be with west ham and before that, how he was treated by his teammates, his girlfriend, and even his own father

if rebecca could have had that whole season after their manchester win to go "oh wait, I really don't care what my husband thinks of me" while getting to share scenes with both his ex-wife and his current (but also soon-to-be-ex) wife, showing the three of them in a supportive space recovering from being in a relationship with a manipulative, cheating, controlling man

if keeley could have a whole season building her company with her new, more financially savvy and more organised friend at her side, barbara, while not centering romantic relationships/having her realise that she really can be okay without one (whether or not she is with anyone by the end, but actually giving it a whole season's worth of time)

if there could be a whole fallout/supportive trend after colin publicly kissed his boyfriend on the football pitch, to really give us more actual delving into what it means to be out as a male football player, and perhaps isaac taking that on himself as both his best friend and team captain, and how that plays out in contrast to perhaps other teams, none of which would have out players

if roy and jamie kind of... I guess continued along the lines they were doing, but really got to get into the former's feelings about being "old" in football terms, but not really that old at all, and the latter's relationship with his father (and yeah, I'm a roy/jamie/keeley fan, so scenes that let the three of them be mutually supportive and effortlessly close with one another)

with trent crimm's own narrative continuing to be that of documenting and pulling together the structure

and all of that with a main storyline on building a women's football team and centering keeley's storyline around that as well (also soooo many gay characters then, for realism 😜 also I know two non-binary football players who play semipro personally, there's more than that, so that could be a storyline too...)

just a bit more time youknow

it would have first of all given a final season that broadens the world they're in more, after a third season that wasn't trying to wrap things up and so maybe gave us a bit more west ham/just football beyond the tiny sphere of richmond

and crucially that things weren't flattened to make them get to the ending faster (things like how some characters had done some really nasty stuff (rupert, jamie's dad), but at some point characters just went *ah well, but I'm over it enough to start moving on,* or how sam never quite got to carry an ongoing dramatic arc that wasn't solved with a handwave that didn't give enough weight to how serious his narrative was, or whatever jade's deal was and how she wasn't nice to nate (and neither was coach beard's gf) and the rushedness of keeley's company and need for romantic partnership to feel safe in herself, etc.)

I really liked the ethos of the show and I enjoyed watching it, but I do not believe that three seasons was the intended structure, and I think if I knew for sure that was the case, I'd be more shrug-and-move-on of some of its rushedness than I am now, where I'm trying to understand what prompted those choices if indeed they were deliberate. because there was a lot of unexplored territory for almost every character, I think especially the characters of colour (nate with how he was treated and sam with his politically deeper storylines) and the female characters (keeley with her business, potentially rebecca with her kinship with bex)

like how the sense8 movie could never in a million years have paid off all the plot that came before, but we're just glad for the catharsis

also lastly, it could have still setup a potential spinoff centering the woman's team entirely, if that was something one wanted to do

[tartt9]

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into "flight" or "fight"?

Jamie's actually a freeze person. This wasn't listed in the options, but I'm putting it here because it's the third part of the phrase - fight, flight, freeze. We see it when he's with his dad [ both in 1x10 and 2x08 ] & we see it with Ted in 1x06. We see it when he's kicked off of City in 2x02. We see it with Zava in 3x03. We see it the whole of Mom City before Jamie talks to Georgie. When Jamie's truly scared [ or even just uncomfortable ], he's silent. He's a very loud person most of the time, shouting constantly on the pitch, in the dressing room - he likes attention on him. But if he's not comfortable, you'll know it if you're used to Jamie as a person. He shuts up, he shuts down, he draws in on himself, and he doesn't bring attention to himself unless someone else does it first - and even then, he's not happy about it. Freeze was a survival technique for his whole childhood, and it's something he carries through with him to adulthood.

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouquet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

okay disclaimer i know fuck all about flowers, but first and foremost i'm putting sunflowers in there. we see sunflowers in jamie's kitchen in 1x04 & 1x05, they're either something keeley got him or something he got himself, and i think they're lovely and jamie deserves to have sunflowers around. i'm also giving jamie red roses, because the red rose of lancashire is on the city badge, and city brought jamie up, and that badge'll always mean something special to him.

and then at one point i made him a bouquet of mancunian wildflowers - the wood anemone, the yellow forget-me-not, and marsh-marigold. i don't know their meanings, i don't know if they'd make a great bouquet together, but i think they're pretty and the colors suit him :)

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

This one would have a different answer depending on when you asked him. As a kid, it was probably meet Roy Kent. After his dad came into his life, it was for his dad to fuck off again. During his teenage years, it was just impress everyone. He didn't feel like he was doing enough to impress his father, but he was working incredibly hard with the academy, playing his best just to get eyes on him, just to prove his potential. When he was with City, it was more playing time, and now with Richmond he might say it's winning the treble or winning the World Cup. But the honest answer in regards to his life right now is just happiness and safety for his loved ones. He never wants to see his mum scared, or Sam angry, or Keeley publicly shamed again, and if he had the power to ensure their happiness at every turn, he absolutely would.

[legends-of-time]

The Strength of a High and Noble Hill (Outlander)

Chapter 10: The Truth

Masterlist

After finishing her story, Mama explains that Dad had asked her where she had been during her absence - that she had told him, and he refused to believe her, thinking she was mentally unstable. Freshly bereaved, Mama had tried to make Dad leave her, but he insisted on staying, asking only that Mama allow him to be Brian and Ellen's only father during his lifetime.

Ellen is infuriated by their mother's revelations and storms out in a rage. Brian instead sits there in silence, digesting his mother's revelations. He was in shock, hadn't expected that his true father is, or should he say was, a Scottish highlander from the 18th century and that he himself wasn't even born in this century but a couple of centuries ago.

He snaps out of it when someone sits next to him. He looks up to see it's Mama who's looking at him with a soft but sorrowful look. Brian looks around to see that Roger has also disappeared at some point as well leaving just him and Mama.

"It's like those stories you used to tell me." Brian says, he's not sure what to say and that's the only thing he can say. "The brave highlander laird. No wonder you didn't want me telling Dad."

"I'm sorry." Mama murmurs quietly. "I'm sorry I lied."

Brian shakes his head quickly, his urge to not have his mother feel guilty or sad still strong. "No, don't be. He asked you to and you kept it, for us."

"Still..."

"It explains things though, why I don't look like him, why we were so different from one another and how we never exactly had that father-son bond. To him I was another man's child." Brian remarks.

"He loved you, despite everything." Mama argues. "He was your father in every way that matters."

"Except one." Brian says.

Mama nods. "Yes, except one."

Brian frowns thinking, startling slightly when his mother places a hand on his cheek, stroking it softly with her thumb. "You're as thoughtful as your father." She speaks.

"Tell me about him," Brian replies. Maybe this will help make everything just make sense. It's already beginning to. Brian already knows that he hasn't quite felt like he fits in, that this isn't his life, which is already being explained by the fact that he isn't even from this century originally.

Mama looks at him with wide, happy eyes, she's almost shaking probably because after all this time she finally gets to tell him. "Uh, he was tall and had red hair just like yours and Ellen's, you both have his eye shape. His father's name was Brian, and that's where your name came from. He spoke French, and he loved to play chess. And also, he gave me this." Mama pauses, patting her pockets until she finds it. It's a ring, an old-fashioned one though it doesn't show the age of one. "This was your grandfather's. Jamie, your father, wanted me to give it to you."

Brian takes it from her, his hands shaking with the knowledge that this belongs to his real father. He frowns when he notices something odd about it. "The setting is hollow. I'd thought there'd be a stone or something."

"There was one," Mama says, her eyes tearing up. "It disappeared when I, we, travelled through."

"Why?"

"I don't know, but I think I have an idea."

——

"Roger. Tell her what you found." Ellen says to the man. They'd just witnessed Gillian Edgars, otherwise known as Geillis Duncan, step through the stones, wiping any doubt of the power of said stones. Roger had called in anonymously to the police due to Gillian's murdered husband lying burning next to the stones as they had hurried away from the stones.

Brian is still breathing heavily and shakily. Not only is he still recovering from the strange buzzing it seems he, his mother, sister and Roger had experienced once near the stones (a noise so loud it was overwhelming) but also the image of Greg Edgars' burning body seared into his mind. How could the woman be so callous?

"Some research tae Reverend did at tae request o' yer husband... yer husband Frank. I'm no' certain if he ever sent it on t' Boston." Roger explains.

"Well, what does it say?" Mama questions. Brian can see she's eager but also fearful to hear what he's got to say.

"After the battle at Culloden, a few Jacobite soldiers, all seriously wounded, took refuge in an old house... fer two days, then they were all taken out t' be shot, but one o' 'em, a Fraser o' the Master o' Lovat's regiment, escaped execution."

"There were a lot of Frasers on the field that day." Mama argues.

"But... only five Fraser officers, and four o' 'em hav' their names memorialised on a plaque in the church in Beauly, so... we kno' fer certain tha' they were killed." Roger counters.

"Who was the fifth?"

"James Fraser," Brian says, able to tear his eyes away from Craigh na Dun as it sits at the top of the hill with smoke spilling around it.

"Our father." Ellen adds.

"Jamie." Mama speaks, her voice breaking as she speaks his name. "He didn't die at Culloden?"

"Weel, he meant t' die, but... he dinna." Roger says.

"He survived. He survived, Mama." Brian says, reaching out to grip her hand. Mama strongly returns it as she stares up at Craigh na Dun.

Dawn is fast approaching. Mama staggers away from them for a moment. Brian, Ellen and Roger exchange a worried looks - will she collapse?

But Mama straightens up after a while. Stands up straight. Turns around and confronts them with the unwavering determination of Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser.

"If this is true, then..." Mama turns to face the standing stones. "I have to go back."

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

[liesmyth]

In your grievance post you mentioned that jamies dad wouldnt be around until u15s at least but then in the show jamie says his dad took him to amsterdam when he was 14 and also said it like he was trying to get back with his mom AGAIN like it wasnt the first time james had been round and it would have to be long enough for georgie to trust him to take jamie to another country right? So to me it seems like james was around at least since jamie was 12 ish, like young teens. Whats your interpretation of it?

Ok I DO have thoughts about this! I left them out of the original post because they verge more into implications / hcs territory rather than what's actually on screen, but here it goes.

My tldr is that I strongly believe James showing up when Jamie was 14 was about Georgie. James taking an interest in Jamie's career happened later.

On James's investment in Jamie's career

Jamie said that his dad started showing around when he started to get "good at football". Yes, Jamie at 12 was very good, good enough to get scouted, but I can't think it would be enough for James to care. SO many kids are scouted and only a small percentage actually make it, and Jamie at 12 was, statistically, way more likely to be dropped within a couple of years than to get a pro contract, especially a pro contract with City (which, again, is THE thing James really cares about)

James wouldn't have bothered with a 12-year-old kid. It would've given him no bragging rights, he couldn't have used it for clout with his hooligan mates. No way.

Re: the U15 thing, I actually meant to type U16, so thanks for pointing it out! I put that as "at the earliest" because that's the earliest Jamie could've been called to represent England at a youth level (which he probably was, as a youth player from a top-flight academy) and was probably one of his first career milestones. But actually, personally, I truly believe James wasn't especially invested until Jamie was closer to 16, aka when he was about to sign his first pro contract and move to the City Academy squad (U18). Old enough to take to the club and have some pull to get James into the FCA campus and all that.

Because, again, James mostly cares about City, and he cares about what his son playing for City means for him in terms of access and bragging rights. Plenty of youth players who start out at the City Academy get cut and end up moving to other clubs, even if they do make it to the senior team eventually. A son playing on the academy team at Everton or whatever wouldn't really be a top concern for James. I'm sure he brought up his son who "is so good, he could end up going pro" over the years, but like hell he was showing up every week and giving career advice.

2. On the Amsterdam trip

From everything we've seen about Georgie, she's fiercely protective of Jamie and has 0 patience for her son's dad. We also know she's married, and Simon has been around for a while, at least since Jamie was in his mid-teens and still lived at home. We also know that James was "trying to get back together" with Georgie when Jamie was 14, and that he "tried to act like the dad of the year."

I doubt that 14yo Jamie knew what James was like. I doubt Georgie would've let the trip happen if she had any firsthand knowledge of James being a dick to her son. I feel very strongly that the Amsterdam trip happened because Jamie begged for it. And I think it was one of the first times Jamie truly interacted with his dad, and he had no reason to know it would turn out like it did.

So, personally, I read this as: Georgie got engaged, or got serious with Simon. James, who's totally the type to think he has a claim on a woman he knocked up fifteen years prior then dumped shortly after, swept back into her life in full force, and tried to win her back by using their son. Buying him gifts, bonding trips, talking about football, doing cool grown-up stuff with him — and teenage Jamie was naive enough to his father's shit that he was happy to go along with it and probably made a scene if Georgie dared to suggest they shouldn't go. Textbook toxic ex shit.

I'm sure the "dad of the year" shit included attending Jamie's youth matches and hyping up his skills, especially as we know that Georgie got Jamie into football and probably went to his matches. But I doubt James's investment was anything like the intense, toxic backseat coaching James took up later, and I'm sure it didn't last after Georgie told him to fuck off. Because there's no way Georgie wouldn't have picked up that the trip had been a disappointment, even missing the details, and I bet that after that happened James went back from showing up every few months for the next couple of years.

^ All of this is absolutely headcanon territory and I get why other people may interpret canon as "James was around regularly in Jamie's life from 14 onwards at least." But (TO ME!) this is a more logical extrapolation of what we see in the show than believing that someone like James was present in Jamie's life since he first got scouted.

[dontmockthetrex]

Screaming about the criticism of Ted lassos ending. Yeah in literally any other show I would agree that a lot of what they did is poor writing but in this case it's all purposeful!! Did we not watch the same show that's all about growth and learning?? Did we not see these writers come back time and time again to every tiny foreshadowing detail?? It's a sloppy ending because everyone is still growing and learning despite Ted not being around anymore!! It's life carrying on and people making mistakes because guess what? Life doesn't have a neat little tidy ending to it does it? There's always more growth and pain and learning and new relationships and connections! Especially since just one episode before we see that Ted's number one issue with his mother is that she stuck her head in the sand and pretended everything was fine!! She didn't move on she didn't learn and grow!!

Yes there are parts that have legitimate criticisms to them like Jamie and his dad or Beard and Jane being toxic relationships that should not have been gone back to BUT in a show about moving on and growing through change it doesn't make sense in context to just toss out the characters and say yep they were toxic to the garbage with you. In real life should they be given another chance? Probably not

And Teds sad look at the end?? Yeah. It seemed odd. But he is also still growing and changing and learning and leaving behind your found family isn't easy!! Of course he's sad!!! At what point did he ever seem excited to leave them?? EXCEPT when he was talking about Henry!!! He's going back not because he misses Kansas City hes going back because he misses his little boy and doesn't want to leave his son with the same gaping hole in his life Teds dad left him! It's not a fun or easy decision to choose others happiness over your own but we have been shown over and over that that's just Who Ted is but for once he's doing it in a less self destructive way and letting himself feel those emotions!

And you might think it's a little hypocritical to both shout "it's just a show lighten up!!" And "it's about real life!!" All at once but it's the truth. Real life isn't entertaining most of the time. In order to get across the real life messages the writers wanted to tell in the format they did they needed to add some humor and entertainment and use some cliches and create some fairytale moments. I'm not saying don't criticize it because hell I also criticized a lot of the same moments everyone is upset about! But in the end it wasn't about the show ending the way we WANTED it's about the show ending the way it had to the way it NEEDED to

Anyway sorry about this long ass rant the silly little football show just means a lot to me and is so good and is so hard to describe to other people and I needed to get thoughts out. Also this is a train of thought thing so if anyone sees this and is like wait that doesn't make sense it's because I wrote this in 20 minutes at nearly midnight and I have ADHD

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY SORRY MUTUALS WHO SAW ME COME BACK FROM VANISHING OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH ONLY TO SCREAM ABOUT A TV SHOW VERY FEW PEOPLE WITH SIMILAR INTERESTS TO ME ARE INTO

[izzyspussy]

Any favorite headcanons about Roy, Jamie or Keeley you want to share?

I have an unpopular one that's hill I'll die on about Jamie, which is that as far as quantity goes the majority of his abuse happened to him as an adult! I think James really super was not around much when Jamie was a young kid. He'd drop in basically just often enough for Jamie to know who he fucking was, but Jamie never really stayed with him much so there wasn't much opportunity for James to behave too badly toward him when they usually had supervision and a limited amount of time together. Then they had maybe a few months of Jamie being vaguely co-parented in that period when James was trying to get back with Georgie, and then Amsterdam, and I do headcanon that Jamie told Georgie what happened and then she obviously didn't let James see him anymore after that. Maybe he still found a way to show up to matches, or maybe they were allowed to talk on the phone or something, but not much more than that.

It was only when Jamie was grown up enough that it was no longer any part Georgie's decision who he could spend time with that they really had any significant relationship (at which point Jamie became a little bit estranged from Georgie instead, basically switching which parent he effectively had a relationship with). Not to say James wasn't abusive before, but he just plain did not have enough access to Jamie to be beating him.

Like in my head the timeline goes: 0-4, James is a perfect angel to Jamie most of the time but is abusing Georgie, smacks Jamie once, gets kicked out; 5-idk 8 or so, no significant contact; 8-13, James shows up every few months or so, with gradually increasing frequency until he's regularly at Jamie's football matches; 14, "super-dad" attempt, has Jamie for weekends, Amsterdam, told to fuck off again; 15-18 over the phone contact only, again starting out sparse and gradually becoming more and more frequent, there's strain in Jamie and Georgie's relationship for various reasons, Jamie's continued contact with James among them, and I'm feeling this is also when I feel like I wanna put Simon; 19-22, James has full access to Jamie and makes use of it; 23, Jamie's at Richmond, primarily phone contact only again; 24, back at City, full access until LCA, then Wembley; 25, no contact until Jamie reaches out again; 26, something happens to make Jamie change his mind, whether that's James falling off the wagon or losing his temper or both; 27, James persists trying to have a relationship with Jamie despite Jamie pulling back, I like to think he could eventually stay sober and improve himself and all, but in the case of this particular relationship it just doesn't matter; and then 28 on James backs off and lets Jamie reach out to him by phone whenever Jamie feels like it, and that's the extent of their relationship for the rest of their lives, Jamie calls when he's feeling some type of way, misplaced guilt or equally misplaced nostalgia or that weird sense of almost pity I guess that you can get for someone who hurt you very badly but you can't help but still care about.

Roy, whether a friend or a partner, would never like the fact there's still any contact, but he'd of course support Jamie's choice. He would have to not be around any time Jamie's on the phone with James though. Keeley too. They're both honestly still shocked by this even years on, but sometimes Jamie - yes, that Jamie - is just too nice. (But only sometimes lmao.)

[awbarnes-no]

Her father's biggest strength, was also something that drove Anya COMPLETELY NUTS. He was a natural caretaker, someone who not only found satisfaction in taking care of people, but was WAY TOO GOOD at insisting on recovery. She should have known that though, between the time they shared during her childhood, and stories she heard about Steve when Bucky remembered his memories about the blonde, she really shouldn't be surprised.

All this to say, while she certainly LOOKED probably the most frustrated she had ever been . . . just like there was love behind it all for him . . . it was right there for her as well. It had been that way since the beginning for them, even if they didn't KNOW IT at the time.

It wasn't like collecting data was going to require anymore energy sitting in the bed ( though she wasn't thinking about the emotional trauma that was undoubtedly going to occur. ) but Bucky still grabbed the file, and the flash drive, causing a roll of her eyes at the act as he walked toward her and Wade.

Of course he was going to baby her this whole time, and enlist WADE'S HELP in making sure that she stayed in bed. What was staying in bed even going to do to help her recover from this any faster, and looked between her dad, and Wade, before starting to roll her eyes, but stopping short. Her dad was going through his own trauma with all of this. The SAME THING that happened to him, had just happened to his daughter. Couple that with the trauma around his child being taken AGAIN, and you could easily see his need to make sure she took it easy.

So instead of rolling her eyes, she sighed . . . and gave a small smile in return to his offer to make her some food. At one point in her life, she had learned to just allow her dad to TAKE CARE OF HER. He had been the only one she really let do so in her whole life . . . Until Wade came along. With GUARD DUTY transferred, and Jamie officially on his way back, the only thing that was left to do was to breath a little more easily. When Bucky looked to her with a smile, and a final warning to rest, she scoffed and nodded. " Heard loud and clear. I'll rest . . . promise. "

Once the door was CLOSED, she let her head fall back slightly, resting against the pillows leaning against the headboard, her eyes having been closed until Wade spoke. She opened her eyes, looking to him and scoffing again. Sure she was annoyed with everyone FUSSING over her, but she knew it came out of love. For both her dad . . . and Wade.

Anya opened her eyes, looking at Wade and sighing. In the quiet. With nobody else in the room but the two of them . . . she was able to really PROCESS how close she had come to almost never seeing not only her family . . . but WADE ever again. " Yeah . . . He did. " Her eyes found his, and she let out a sigh. " You gonna sit that far away from me forever now that I have this thing? " She smirked, gesturing with her left shoulder. Trying to be COMICAL in a time when it was very hard to do so.

@sheshootsxruns

"Ecstatic," he returned flatly, having always given as good as he received when it came to things like attitude. There was always love in his eyes though, even if there was, at times, a fog of frustration there. It was just part of being a parent, he'd discovered.

Although he'd had to practically drag it out of her, Bucky was still just grateful that Anya had finally given in and answered. Even better, she had answered in the affirmative. He had already been making contingency plans for getting ahold of any meal replacements or supplements, either what they had on hand or if there needed to be some retrieved. He also had supplies that amounted to liquid nutrients for times of emergency, those were kept in temperature controlled, air tight storage.

Luckily, she was a little hungry. That was something he could work with pretty easily right from their own home's kitchen. Not that he would have minded the effort of the alternative, but he didn't want to have to be away from her for long. Plus, ordering anything was out and he sure as shit didn't trust Wade to manage creating anything edible. That left him with one option, and he wasn't thrilled about it, but he was going to need Wade for another task.

The former Winter Soldier stood up from the chair and reclaimed the items, thinking better of leaving them there for Anya to try to decipher, or for Wade to...do anything with the items themselves or the information that they held. Making his way over to his daughter and her boyfriend, he kept his eyes on Anya as he spoke.

"I'm gonna go whip up somethin' light for you t' eat," he told her, pointing to Wade once without looking at him, before allowing his hand to drop to his side again. "I'm giving him a free pass t' be a thorn in your side when it comes t' you recovering, an' makin' sure you're doin' that." His tone was firm, but at the heart of it was care and concern.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket to check, nodding once. "Perfect. I an go give your brother some homework, he's on his way home." He made his way towards the door, only stopping to turn and look at Wade.

"With great power comes a great chance that I'll kick your ass if you abuse it," he warned pointedly, before offering his daughter a pleasant smile. "Be back in a few, babygirl. I mean it, rest." With that, he made his exit.

Wade had lost track of the amount of times he had been left with a job plopped on his lap by Anya's father. Sure, the merc had signed on to the whole F A M I L Y B U S I N E S S, but he had hoped to be taking more orders from Anya if he had to take them from anyone.

The one time he had mouthed off to the former assassin and sarcastically called him Sergeant in response to a list of tasks given, he had almost pissed himself from the look that he had received from everyone. Like it was some open secret to not say that shit.

This order though, he could live with. He sat up proudly with his back straight after he was tasked with the assignment. He waved his fingers in a dainty 'goodbye' to Anya's dad. Only when he knew that Bucky had headed down the hall did he turn back to Anya.

"You heard him, dad says I'm in charge," he joked.

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

It occurs to me that since I originally intended for The Hedgehog's Dilemma to be a one-shot and never updated the summary when it started spawning new chapters (and I'm not going to. Summaries are the bane of my existence) no one else actually knows what chapter 3 is about. Since I'm awake at 5:30 in the morning thanks to this migraine, I'm going to sort-of-but-not-quite explain it by instead explaining why chapter 3 exists in the first place.

There's basically two interconnected sides to this: the Roy side and the Jamie side. On the Roy side, we have a conversation which takes place around the middle of chapter 1 when they're driving from Manchester to London: Jamie asks why Roy is helping him, and Roy says it's because he's intrinsically deserving of help just by being a person. This is the thesis statement of the fic, and also my thesis statement for like. life in general (socialism? in my Ted Lasso fanfic? It's more likely than you think!) but I wasn't sure if I should actually include that line since it's not something Roy believes about himself, particularly at the point where THD is set near the end of season 1. But then I was like, Roy's not above being a hypocrite. So when I decided there was going to be a chapter 2 to wrap up some of the lose ends in Jamie's story arc (confirming that he stays at Richmond, reuniting with his mom), I figured I could have a nice closed circle moment with the whole "you deserve help automatically because you're a person" thing, this time from Jamie to Roy, in the epilogue of chapter 2.

If you have read THD, you may remember that there is not an epilogue to chapter 2. This is because it mutated into chapter 3. The basic idea of that epilogue was that it would take place after 1x10 and is about Jamie taking care of Roy after he fucks up his knee and has to retire, because at that point it was pretty much guaranteed to happen even if in this AU it obviously doesn't happen tackling Jamie (who isn't playing in the match since he's still on loan from Man City). But obviously if you set something in 1x10 and that something is a fanfic about Jamie's relationship with his dad, you have to deal with the James Tartt Sr. of it all. So I was thinking about how Jamie would deal with his dad 1) coming to London to watch the Man City v. Richmond game, and 2) finding out that he's transferring teams. Thinking about it eventually produced a 13-point outline and partway through that I was like... hmm. Maybe this isn't an epilogue. Maybe this is just another chapter, and thus chapter 3 was born. (Chapter 3 also has an epilogue but this one is actually an epilogue and not secretly an extra chapter).

[lunar-years]

time loop from the bingo! or jamie-father fic

I have another ask about the father-fic so I'm gonna give you time loop!

I still only have the one idea for it, which I've posted about before. But to recap, the gist is: Present-day Jamie is dating Roy & Keeley. Then somehow, he ends up transported back in time and waking up in a time loop spanning a few days in season 2. At first he think his biggest problem is that Roy still hates him and he's not yet talking to Keeley really in this timeline, plus he has to watch them be all lovey-dovey together without him (which is much worse this go-around than it was the first time, because now he knows exactly how good it feels to be a part of it). But it gets much worse when he realizes the days he's reliving are the lead-up to and actual event of playing Man City at Wembley (and the subsequent aftermath with his father).

Jamie then has to navigate trying to convince Roy (& Keeley, though that's far easier lmao) that he is in fact stuck in a time loop and they are both in love with him, actually, at the same time that he's being forced to keep reliving one of the worst afternoons of his life. When he refuses to get his dad tickets, there's no need for Roy to comfort him. When he lets his dad come into the locker room but stands up to him as soon as he starts hurling abuse, there's no need for Roy to take him home. Basically, whatever route Jamie tries he can't convince Roy to care about him long him enough to listen to him, and he starts developing a complex that Roy only ever got over his hatred for Jamie and then they became friends and then they became lovers all because Roy pitied him at Wembley for having a dad who hits him. And he starts thinking the only way to fix this is to let it play out like it had the first time, just let his dad abuse him so he can talk to ROy. But at that point does even want to talk to Roy? is it even worth fixing things if that is how his boyfriend sees him, as someone he needs to feel sorry for?

ANYWAY...when I first posted this idea I'd scrapped it for a number of reasons, namely:

obviously as a time loop fic we're already going to be defying logic, but the time loop PLUS time travel PLUS the time loop spanning multiple days somehow felt like a step too far, lmao. and also annoying to keep track of when writing.

there's really no point to it? Like I sort of felt it was just Jamie whump for the sake of Jamie whump and it wasn't going anywhere. I want there to be a point to him getting caught in the time loop. What is he meant to learn?

i didn't know how to end it

BUT now that it has appeared on my royjamie bingo card I do sort of feel like it's fate and I should write it. plus people seemed interested in it! And i think I've figured out the mechanism for what spurs the time loop (a fight between Jamie & Roy about how he's handling his dad in the present day, which kind of dregs up some fears of Jamie's that are mostly subconscious and he therefore hasn't realized until now have been sort of plaguing the relationship for a while).

it seems like a big endeavor for a bingo fic though, so it will probably be quite some time before I actually write it because I've already got a longer fic going I want to finish first (ironically, Jamie-father fic, lmao).