#BAD XIG

[bitternace]

(01/01!)

[ID:a digital bust drawing of xemnas from kingdom hearts. the background is transparent.

he is in profile facing right, he stares down, behind himself with his mouth slightly open, he has very faint eyebags. only the hood of his coat is visible and the length of his hair is shown until it's cut off frame. a blue line follows the line of his profile, underneath his front partitions up into his coat, and is disjointed from a line that follows some of the back of his hair. /End ID.]

[xignis]

going through old art, cant really explain this one

[thefatalmarksman]

Aw shid it Xig’s bday 😬

[dewprisms]

ok look

idk if im ever gonna finish the Seridux ft. Xig/Seri fic but i feel bad for letting what i have written so far go to waste. I still want to work on it but its been like 2-3 years.

would anyone be interested in me just shoving the doc link out there

[katzirra]

I sure do be feeling a lot of bad things about my relationship with art these days lmfao, and I really don't know how to fix them and overcome them anymore.

It's like... there's such conflict about like... if you complain about the nature of social media people either are like YEAH!! or there's this weird thing I'm seeing now where people are getting mad at people bringing up the importance of reblogs as like attention seeking begging and shit like?? LIKES ARE NICE, I LOVE LIKES but like reblogs are how people actually SEE your stuff?

A like is like ah nice, scrolls past, a reblog is like MAN I WANNA LOOK AT THIS LATER or like it MEANT something to someone. But people act like that's so wrong artists are bummed out over engagement with shit lmao?? We're just selfish little hogs or something.

Or there's like this long standing thing about artists being bothered they don't know what to draw to get that engagement and people are like "DRAW FOR YOURSELF!!" like bitch, I been doing that because tumblr and twitter fucking drove that nail in lobotomy style - and it's making me sad because I feel like the more I like a piece, the SADDER I am when no one else engages with it or it's like 25 people??

Felix use to get alarming notes at times, now it's like feh, nothing? So, I tried drawing for fandoms I was passionate in - which got me a lot of people I care for, but also a lot of needless drama I hated and didn't ask for and that caused a LOT OF ISSUES when I even TRIED to stay out of it LMAO good LORD.

Even doing the Xig blog lately, I've been like okay I'm gonna stick with it because a WEIRD AMOUNT OF PEOPLE engaged with that poll I posted and I was like okay, that's a substantial amount of people who want that content, and even on the blog itself THAT poll was like OH. OKAY?? Because honestly, I feel like I'm on a weird blocklist or something or people don't like my art in the fandom so it's a weird place to be for me :))!! But I know people send me really sweet messages sometimes or sometimes I get amazingly sweet tag comments or people REALLY like an answer to something and it tickles their brain and that makes me happy but like??

I spend hours on that shit and it barely hits 100 unless it's a meme post usually and I dunno, I feel selfish all the time for being bummed about that. I'll spend days on some of them and be like SO PROUD and then just - the low engagement I'm like man, am I wasting my time? AM I STUPID? AM I TOO OLD TO BE HERE NOW, TRYING TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY? IS MY ART BAD? IS IT?? DO I JUST SUCK??? AM I NOT SELF AWARE??

It's weird how I see so many times people like my style or whatever, and like I know people still stick around for it, and I see so many artists post such GRAB BAGS of fandoms and stay strong in engagement and I just always feel like I'm doing something wrong or bad lmao?? Not supposed to talk about your feelings anymore, but also supposed to be engaging and personal on this here hellsite lmao??

I've been doodling shit at work and just feel tired all the time because I don't even want to finish anything anymore. I thumbnail mini comics that are like 5-10 pages of things that I think would be nice to do, I thumbnail out the backgrounds, thumbnail out bigger samples of poses and stuff and feel a little excited about how nice I could make it, and I just... know the energy put into it wouldn't be worth it because it'll be something I finish and am excited to post and no one will care.

Okay not no one, but like who is really gonna put fucking hours and hours of work into something that's gonna fall flat on it's face. I do that enough already! I over the last few years have posted so much stuff I was actually proud of and just felt....stupid for being happy and no one engaging with it. And then feeling more stupid and GUILTY because I'm upset about it?? LMAO LIKE WHAT KIND OF EMOTIONAL GARBAGE IS THAT?? And I'm barely online these days too beyond randomly scrolling shit to see what my friends that I barely feel relevant to talk to are doing in their lives nfjgkh I've lost all personalableness... that's not a word but we keep goin' lmao

It's like boy howdy, this kinda like ennui gets met with the whole ooooh two cakes and ohhhh but it'll be someone's favorite and blah blah - PBBT PBBTTT PBTTTT I GET IT!! But like, I'm sorry, I need more validation that I'm not wasting my fucking time. Because that's kind of all I feel these days is that I'm just wasting my time... which is sad. But ya'know some asshole will also be like "so stop" like thanks, thanks kiddo. That's the kind of shit I need I guess. Just stop. Just give up!

It's like, keep struggling, or just stop. Both options kinda fucking blow. But I've also tried to just stop caring about numbers and engagement - but I've noticed all my friends have slowly stopped posting art too. Busy and tired.

I wanna be excited to post art again, man. I miss when I'd post Marvel shit and actually have hilarious engagement and made friends and had fun conversations.

I miss when I'd post a Xig post and I'd see a tag and end up having a conversation in someone's ask box back and forth because I made some little easter egg or HC they were really into and were curious about more.

I dunno :)) bitching for no reason I guess. Shuts up and draws my stupid little pictures.

I feel like the only reason I keep doing art anymore is because I'm grasping some thread of hoping social media flops over again an engagement booms again LMAO - and also like, I have 3 patrons that ya'know. I'M FUCKING TRYING TO KEEP DESPERATELY LMAO.... Patreon pays for my fucking vet bills at this point and I'm obnoxiously thankful for those people but just fuck idk.

I'm doing everything wrong anymore it feels like but whatever!!

Maybe I just don't try hard enough lmao. Just not meant to be an online artist anymore. After 20 years, I'm still fighting this hard for mild engagement? What kind of fuck up, am I lmao holy shit.

[edgexfexistence]

@cryptidsncurios

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it.” —Xig @ any of your Org folk

"Well that's just plain rude, buddy!"

Currently slouched on his usual sofa, Demyx let out a loud, clearly quite annoyed sigh at that. Or, at least, the closest thing to annoyance a Nobody could feel, anyway.

According to Xemnas.

"Think about it!" making his current sitting position even worse, number IX flopped upside-down, not too dissimilar to a fish out of water ironically enough, keeping his eyes on the other "If we all just... disappear, even for just a day? Nobody will suspect a thing! We could relax and if the Superiors ask something, we could just say that the missions went bad and that's why we didn't gather any Hearts! Buuuut-" a single finger is lifted "We need coordination, or else I'll just get scolded again and I don't feel like it, today!"

[atomic-taco-muffin]

Terranort x Kayla true pacifist au:

Xigbar: *gently cups Karina's cheek while wiping her tears away* Ava was my first lover

Later:

Karina: xig.. *shakes her head* luxu I didn't know

Xigbar: *his eye widens* you know my real name?

Karina: Is that bad?

Xigbar: *shakes his head* no I'm just impressed doll

Xigbar: *trying not to cry*

[impetuousheart]

@areapermostcapricious: 💭 for impetuous Andrey and also can I get uuuuuuh one for Xig too?? 👀

Kuja:

I have never seen someone like him. The only word for them would be resplendence. Always wrapped in finery and shining, always such a sight to behold. I feel like a rough beast compared to their grand beauty, but that makes it all the more thrilling. I want to be someone they can rely on. His highness could ask anything of me and I would see it done. I might even get a reward.

Xigbar:

I could almost be embarrassed by how captivated this guy has me, but who can blame me? That feral edge, his talent, everything. Ultimately unattainable and insanely intoxicating. That hunger aside though, he is important to me. However close he lets me, I can be content. I hope I don’t annoy him, but if I do, then too bad. I want. I don’t know what, but I want.

[ohhicas]

Okay so- I've noticed that a ton of the time, when you have Xigbar/Braig interacting with the other apprentices again, it usually focuses up on him with Dilan. Do you ship them? Put them together for the comedic value?? Cause it's fantastic, whatever your reason is

i guess the answer is "Yes"?

I do ship them-- but only in the 'past tense' sense; like bitter exes. Braig-era, with Braigxu using Dilan as a time waster while he waits for the chips to fall in line and Dilan accidentally letting him in a little too close -- and then Organization era, Xaldin not being aware of how much Xigbar had a hand in their demise so he just rolls with it. (Being nicer to him than others, etc, to tie in the manga 'friendlyish work associates' vibe they carry)

Super unhealthy tier "better for it now that they're not sharing a bed occasionally" (with Dilan returning to a "too old for this shit" life after, & Luxu's job is Active now so he can't play around with a risk factor)

In fanworks, I use the "bitter exes" vibe for all the comedy-duo moments. He's beating Xigbar with brooms cause it's more satisfying than stabbing him with a kitchen knife, etc.

their personalities of "lazy, tricky back alley rat setting up the chips to watch them fall" vs "full of himself WAR GENERAL" is just too nice to not use for comedy too sldkjfw

[traverse-freeshooter]

☀ - Kaya.

“Firstly, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Secondly, I hate the sound of your voice. Thirdly, why don’t you just bug off?”

[xignis]

i could never be her

[thefatalmarksman]

@entershadows replied to your post: is that OOC fc Puck from Gargoyles??? :0

i thought it was him! the anon is me i wasn’t sure if it’d be ok if i went off anon or not–

gargoyles is one of my Passions for Fashion and i realize now is where i got my love of monster characters......

[katzirra]

Aggressively rubs my face, complaining about anything in life feels so tedious compared to what's going on in the world. World events and disasters and genocides and just fucking everything make you feel so small and worthless. Like god damn I feel guilty for thinking how stressed I am because HAHAH COULD BE WORSE, BITCH. WHICH is kind of a weird thing the internet really uh, perpetuates. Which is kinda what people get at when they say take care of your mental health.

Like I'm staying as up to date as I can but it's... wow it's hard to stomach, and it's hard to know what to do when you're in a financial spot lmao... Fucking god damn. Like carrying on like normal is really hard because there's that thought in the back of my mind right now about how upsetting it is realizing so many people can't do that. Will never do that again. It's like tv static in my head lately low key saddening me more and more.

But yaknow that just sounds like I'm complaining about a world event, but it's not. It's just...a profound sadness. Saturating things. I find myself just kinda sitting lately unsure what to be doing that feels... productive in this time. Not really feeling, uh, creative or happy. I dunno. Low simmering fear as well tbh.

That wasn't the topic I was planning to post about uh... FRIVOLOUS UPDATES I GUESS... I USE TO DO THOSE, YEAH? IDK WHO CARES ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE THESE DAYS TBH LOL

Taking a break from Xig because I'm just ..out of it and need the expectations off me for a second.

Having anxiety even checking my art blog because people weirdly correcting me/giving me a compliment that's shorter than a correction and making me come off rude telling them I'm not wrong makes me anxious as hell :))) so I end up avoiding my own haunts!!! How fucky is that.

I am almost done with my small sketchbook?? I was fixing a few pages up before hitting a few dried out Copics, which lead to me checking all of them to see who I needed to fix/replace and uh... relocate them in my office. Which became redoing my pen pouches and seeing if those got fucked up. Hopefully I'll finish that and start scanning. 2018-2023... with huge gaps in there lol...

I miss doing art I liked. Its kinda stagnant atm so I might take the rest of the year to do studies on angles and shit tbh. I need something. It all feels same same.

Uhhh figuring out some dental stuff - bought myself a bougie electric toothbrush and I think my old one's timer was fucked up and making me brush too long?? Which is bad!!! So this new one already has my teeth feeling better 👏 mom's genetics have me terrified!! My teeth feel better after two brushes??? insane.

Getting bloodwork done Thursday so hopefully figuring some shit out about my weight and health :))) I'd like to lose the like 20-45lb I mysteriously seemed to gain over the past few years??? Uhhh??? And figure my periods out, money has just been BAD since Hannibal's surgery....

Having panic scares about if my job is going away in December or not and hating every job listing I see online so I gotta look for whatever listing sites exist outside indeed. Also something this decent with the same pay :)))))) so that's on my todo list... again.

Box spring is busted on my bed, so hopefully I don't have to replace the mattress just yet because of the previous point AND THE FACT I JUST STARTED GETTING TO SAVE FOR MY PC..... first world problems but fuck, dudes. Vakarian is fucking suffering sometimes... :(( but we'll see because MATTRESS PRICES.......!!!

I cleaned my office and room and that made me feel like I've accomplished something for myself so that's... something.

Trying to focus on things. Depression cocktail is going on..... money, job, housing, health, the world... it's all so much all the time, man.

[tonberry-yoda]

Late Night Pizza Stop - Xigbar

notes - pov: you're tonberry and you have over 30 requests in your inbox, but in your soul you wanted to write for xigbar, so you did LMFAO. well, I know there aren't a ton of kh fans on here, but for my xigbar simps, this one is for you <3 I have been simping over this man, so please enjoy my mini fic <3

word count - 472

You woke up to the sound of you window opening. Of course.

You rubbed your eyes and checked the time. It was 2 in the morning. God, of course he thought it would be a good idea to crawl into your room like the little rat he is right when you were finally getting some good sleep.

"Xigbar," you said with an unamused expression, watching the tall, lanky man try to squeeze his way through the open window. "What the hell are you doing?"

He shot you a crooked smile before falling face first onto your floor with a muffled "ow."

You crossed your arms and Xigbar stood up slowly, trying to play him falling off as nothing leaning on your desk chair that he didn't realize had wheels until he was flat on his face again.

"Xigbar, you're a dumbass."

"You're a dumbass." He said, getting up and rubbing his downward nose that he could've swore was broken.

"Well I'm not the one crawling through people's window's while they're sleeping, am I?"

Xigbar just chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I just found this really cool pizza shop in this world I was travelling to and I wanted to take you there."

You stared at Xigbar blankly. "So you're telling me.... you woke me up at two in the morning... for pizza?"

"Yes?"

You sighed, but couldn't help the smile that was creeping onto your lips. "Fine. Let me throw a jacket on and we can go get this dumb pizza."

"Look, if you don't wanna go, that's fine. I didn't mean to wake you, I thought you would be up." Xigbar followed you like a sad puppy.

"Look, Xig, pizza actually sounds godly and I honestly don't think I can go back to sleep." You pulled on your jacket and turned to Xigbar, who was pouting. "I'm fine," you giggled, pulling Xigbar into your arms. For being a whole bunch of nothing, he sure was warm. "Plus, I know you don't actually feel bad, Xig. You don't feel anything."

"Shut up." He said, pulling away from the hug and pressing a small kiss onto your lips. "You make me feel something."

"Ha, ha, very funny." You stepped into a pair of slippers and Xigbar opened a portal for the two of you to step through which ended you both up in front of the pizza shop. Even outside it smelled godly.

"I mean it, goober." He told you before pressing one more kiss onto your temple and leading you into the back of the pizza shop holding the small of your back.

To be honest, you were glad that Xigbar showed up. You couldn't sleep anyway. And he knew that too. For a guy who couldn't feel a thing, he sure knew how to make you smile.

~~~~~

kingdom hearts masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[atomic-taco-muffin]

Bad boy delinquent kingdom hearts alternate timeline:

Luxord: don't suddenly shout you dufus

Crystal: pfft- "dufus"?

Luxord: do you have a better name?

Crystal: yes and considering lady kurumi just gave birth I can't exactly say it

Luxord: wha- ! Oh Oh!

Xigbar: *ruffles crystal's hair* got a potty mouth eh?

Crystal: *rolls my eyes* can you blame me xig? If I'm not "messing" around with you I'm either hanging out with friends or riding my motorcycle

Demyx: but seriously though. Can we come in? I wanna see the baby

[nicedracula]

I love the way you draw characters but Xigbar is so pointy I wonder how Xemnas is not getting stabbed all the time.

Cuddling Xigbar seems like cuddling a broken and ripped lawn chair.

Yeah he isn't as bad off as say, Axel, but I definitely don't do Xig any favors when I draw him haha

To be fair, he's very....flat compared to a lot of the other Organization members