#Avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

I will say I'm almost ? surprised ? confused ? at the great outpouring of pity for this Tsukasa... I mean me too, but

don't we pity all Tsukasas? Aren't they all trapped in a tragedy? that's his lot in life, right?

I'm not sure what is 'better' or 'worse' when I look at Tsukasa's circumstances...... but, it's interesting. We're almost too used to our Tsukasa's circumstance--

he couldn't move for some ~50 years it seemed. It's unclear his level of consciousness for that. but knowing AidaIro, I would think it was more of a paralysis than the gift of unconsciousness..

all the while, convinced Amane wouldn't care if he cried out to him, as Amane 'surely' hates him....

He was frozen in Amane's boundary, locked up-- precious, but in a way he can't understand as loving. He is seemingly only freed from his rest by an external force, Sakura.... and then, seemingly only to destroy all of the yorishiro (including himself).

and our Tsukasa's long prevailing journey has only lead to the final beat of Amane declaring him fake....

the reality before that, was serving the Red House in perpetuity....

'our' Tsukasa seems a little mixed-up in his head in some way. We don't quite know what's going on with him... is it just existing 'aware' in so many timelines, is it Red House Entity temporal awareness that makes him screwballed, is he closer intellectually to his 4 year old self or his 13 year old self? Would he approve of his own actions, if he could see them in another perspective?

We really don't know much about ours, but his life is pretty upsetting... he at least seems to have accepted a bare minimum of nobody liking him very much, and an eagerness to disappear again.

THIS NEW TSUKASA-- w-well, he's not an inanimate eternal corpse ...... is that better, or worse? Is being this painful? Is it fun? Was the Red House fun? Was this Tsukasa having fun?

which of these existences is better? which of these is more of a person, or more 'authentic'?

What does he think Amane wants of him?

Do either of them believe Amane loves him?

This new boy-- is he serving Amane? Did Amane make his circumstance, in both situations? Were they compromises, or ideals, for Amane? Did they talk-- briefly, or for a long time?

Why is this boy permitted more freedom than our Tsukasa, why is he seemingly menacing in a manner closer to the Red House's operandi? Our Tsukasa was disobeying Amane by breaking out with an assistant, he was not meant to roam the school, at least as far as we know.

this new Tsukasa, is he, counting sacrifices or victims or something? Is there a number he's trying to reach?

for what-- himself? Amane?

I don't know what Tsukasa I should pity more, yet....

I might not even be sure what being 'fortunate' or 'unfortunate' is to Tsukasa, himself. I'd like to think that serving Amane in any capacity makes him feel good, whether he does it as a disfigured ghoul or an enshrined maiden.

that might be kind of the problem, though, with Tsukasa. There might be no Tsukasa who has his own personal ambitions or will to live...

he might always and only exist in service to Amane, because he has no desire or reason to exist otherwise...

[7ban-sama]

Hiiiii! I don’t think I’ve seen you musing about flowers in JSHK yet, and I would be interested to see your opinion on it! If you don’t mind Of course!!

Ah shucks, sure, though I'll go ahead and say... I haven't posted much about it on my own, because I'm not very confident about flower symbolism and such… Not my forte aha? I mostly rely on others being more educated on this. I think about it of course, but just doing a little disclaimer, I'm no expert, and I do not feel especially good at thinking in these terms. 6w6;

Both me and my wife rely on perusing this JP site, hananokotoba, to specifically get a read on interpretations/associations originating from Japan. I’m not really interested in any western concepts, because it’s… at least, LESS likely to be the use case. (Best to err on the side of caution and defer to the culture AidaIro-sensei actually are from, heh.)

I actually still feel quite proud of the research I did to assist my wife in identifying the flowers present in Chapter 100's celebratory illustration. You can read that post here. This involved me tunneling through JP listings for purchase, blog posts, articles, and pulling up image after image to compare orchids and make sure I could be as accurate as possible ww... the end result felt very satisfying. Well worth the efforts.

Though, to talk more broadly about it all... hm... I suppose the flowers I think the most about... are simply, Hanako's red camelias. Me and Avvy are constantly saying "the camellia of modest beauty" to one another, since that's what they're thought of as; simple, modest. It's so humble a flower, which I kind of love for our main boy. Alongside the name Amane, which has the first kanji for the world 'normal' (or 'ordinary', 'plain', 'regular'... futsuu...) And well, isn't he just the most normal looking little guy when he's in a white t-shirt. Just a boy. Meep. I imagine Amane has a sheer... underwhelming air, when alive, to the average person. Shrimpy, small and bug-eyed. Ooh. It's not the most flattering sounding... But I love that he simultaneously is mysterious, cool, dark and brooding, and maybe the craziest guy in the cast. (I think, at least. :3) Dual wielding so much here, right?

I think the tsubaki suits him, thusly! It's probably my favorite out of anyone's designated flower… (Though, my next favorite would be Nene being associated with strawberries & strawberry blossoms. Very cute for her! I love that they evoke a childish naivety... Playfulness. Oh, isn't she just...?)

The ah, other major thing about tsubaki though, are the associations with samurai. Since the entire flower falls all at once instead of petal by petal, it "beheads" itself... and, an aspect of seppuku would involve the samurai being beheaded, as an act of mercy, during the ritual. And well, we now know how Amane died... 9.9

Considering seppuku was often a matter of "taking responsibility" for one's actions, and the whole psyche surrounding shinjuu as well, I think this all checks out. Ah– we actually now also have the tidbit about yorishiro from Sakura — implicating that Amane's feelings for Tsukasa involved a sense of preciousness, a desire to protect. Considering how severe he is about it all in the modern day...

... it all makes sense, to me, that Amane's death completes the circle, with tsubaki's association with samurai.

(Small aside — but I'm always obsessed with how he phrases it, in the confrontation with Kou. "すごく特別" ; sugoku tokubetsu... I think of it more like, as if he was saying — an 'awfully' or 'terribly' special reason...)

This is all such a... ghoulish addition to everything, considering Amane is our 'jibaku shounen'. Self-destructing boy-! Bound to the school, with his life 'over', no longer allowed to enjoy himself frivolously. He is here, serving penance... He believes that he has no future, he's a dead-end, his existence is 'punishment'... and I'm sure he's really meant it, for the years he's been serving the mysteries as No. 7. Atoning guy-!!

So it really suits him... and-! I think that it contrasts Tsukasa, who evokes royal and holy imagery... Tsukasa, whose name kanji instead pulls from a word that means 'to rule', 'to be in charge', the one directing things... which of course goes with him orchestrating so many events in the manga. To me, the twins kind of have this... binary of, samurai and emperor. Servant, royalty... knight and princess lol.

This all makes me contemplative... I dwell a lot on the flow of 'power' between servant and ruler. One thinks of it as a very cut and dry, but mmm... Because we're talking about what it symbolically means for the Yugi, I think it's multi-layered. As much as our first impressions of their dynamic have been steadily unpacked, and it's obvious it's not as simple as Tsukasa being menacing and domineering to the wibbly, crying Amane. In relation to that — while the knight is subservient to the ruler, the ruler is reliant on the knight. It is the knight who is the one wielding the weapon and doing the protecting, after all. I like that, for them. Who owns who? It's a little bit of both, isn't it? (Kind of like how in the recent event, Amane goes from being Tsukasa's pet, to Tsukasa dressed up in kitty ears and a collar to match. So they ah... own each other......... lol.)

Related to this, in this retrospring, I've talked about what I think the mental state Amane was in while receiving injuries/rope burns from Tsukasa. While we can't know the exact details of the situation (the technical how, why), I'm pretty convinced that the emotional palette for Amane during this time is, a sense of dogged loyalty to Tsukasa. Duty bound... refusing to let anyone drive them apart. Forgiving everything... and choosing to stay.

... ah, but amidst all these loyal, noble feelings... still, a sense of possessiveness is there.

The nature of it all! So yeah... I think the samurai aspect adds a lot, and is quite decadent, to boot.

Smaller detail here, but also, I think sometimes the camellias are used to stand in place of Tsukasa's corpse, in certain illustrations? In particular, this promo for Chapter 71...

This one calls to mind the kind of possessive hold Aida has depicted with Amane in other instances, like with Nene's lifeless body during the Clock keepers arc, or this intense Picture Perfect boy holding Nene in the cover for Chapter 50. (Also, in a similar vein is Cult holding Lily's body in a coffin... Aida-sensei seems to love depicting covetous corpse hold...)

And then ah, in this illustration, the shapes below Amane, resemble the stylization of camellias as well...?

When I put these side by side... They look similar to me, at least. And we know that in this pose, Tsukasa is supposed to be pinned just below Amane. But of course — we can't see his expression or anything like that yet, so this is a way to obfuscate and tease...

It wouldn't surprise me, I guess, if the image of all these camellias held, was meant to harken to Tsukasa's murder (which is then tied to Amane's suicide and atonement.) It's not even the first time we've seen Amane possessively clutching something that symbolizes Tsukasa... So-! I think this is the case in these images, as well. I think AidaIro are trying to weave as much as they can, while preserving the mystique of the story, only fully unveiling the truth once the time comes. Until then, there's hints all throughout the manga, of the reality of the twins' relationship...! Treats, for the industrious fan. (As much as one could puzzle things like, the location of the twins stab wounds, from earlier illusts, for example. And everything we learned from Takasebune being in PP... etc etc.)

The implications, then, of an image this, are kind of, wonderful.

Hmm, the murder knife.. knife that murdered Tsukasa... cutting up strewn about camellia... hmm... incidentally this Tsukasa wearing an outfit that decks him out like a flower... Dwell on it, perhaps.........

Lastly, I like to think the ruffly ends of Nene's uniform are actually meant to evoke camellia petals. Hence, the bright red fabric beneath.

Hm, this one is probably the most... "wishful thinking"(?) thing here, but still. I think it'd be a cute, tasteful detail. Feels fitting, as we get Nene wearing red camellias on her kimono for Tanbata! ... as much as the twins wear each other's symbols of sun and moon during Tanabata!!! It all kind of 'completes' something, here. Our alignments...

These are all my most pressing thoughts, when it comes to flowers in JSHK. I hope any of this is interesting to read! I worry I got a little eccentric or off topic, but I figure-? I should try and explain what goes through my mind and what I value... to do more than just ah, regurgitate facts you can find anywhere. Aha. (｀∇´)

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.28.2022

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：yk while i dont think nene ever gets to see a cutscene play out quite like she envisioned (and nene is like, envisioning hanako embracing Tsukasa surrounded by sakura petals and being like "i always… wanted to tell you…. aishiteru zo." "amane…" / while the reality of amane not holding back is more like FUCK YOU TIL YOU DIE. *holding by throat*) i do think there are moments the twins are having an interaction that is enchanting. like watching two wild big cats start to groom each other. and nene feels like a photographer in the bushes holding her breath. witnessing hanako stiffly, quietly say "Tsukasa." to summon him over while overwhelmed during sex and beginning to nuzzle face to face, and watching them obsessively rub heads together bzzz… i think peak weird could be so endearing, like snuzz snuzz, tsukasa licks amane, amane gets emotional enough to lick back, feedback loop of licking each other's faces, rub rub inhaaaaale breathe against one another's neck.

and Nene is like f …. fuck…  dam… boyce…. maybe twin love is just special

つ：IT'S SO SPECIAL she would feel like her envisioning of it was in some way feeble, and rote. It is incredibly atypical…! its like expecting the courtship rituals of some rare exotic birds to be like dogs chasing eachother in the park. but it is in reality idiosyncratic beyond what she would ever observe naturally in school, or in some sort of TV drama.

あ： Humbling really… feeling like both Tsukasa and Hanako are such complicated individuals, that their cumulative love is ofc really unlike anything she could imagine

つ：you know we save hat-off Hanako for such emotionally intense moments….. we don't really have, hat off modern Tsukasas, do we…? just another I feel like aidairo is rly saving up…..

あ：true isnt it… it's such a 'reduced boy' state the 500 guns waiting to go off in JSHK

[2n2n]

uughhh. what a perfect drawing. What a beautiful and perfect counterpart.... ohhh Amane... ohhhh... poor thing poooooor thing pooooor thing. Tsukasa hurts your feelings, doesn't he.... ? I'm sorryyyy....

IT MAKES THE MIND ACHE DEEPLY TO UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THE MATCHING SEALS!!!! We know 'why' they both have them in the practical sense, but we don't know what they evoke to Amane...

I love, love, him protectively placing his hand to Tsukasa's yorishiro seal (my treasure, my precious object...) while he has to force Tsukasa's dead hand onto his own seal.... he's pathetic, isn't he? He knows it, too...

at least, I assume the subtext of the upper image is that being a corpse's hand. Those green tinges to the tips Aida-sensei loves to do, the lack of circulation. Ah, I get... such a feeling that... Amane could never express something this longing, this need to be touched, by Tsukasa, with Tsukasa cognizant for it. That's his whole problem, isn't it... he's not willing to be so openly needy towards Tsukasa. He can't beg for reassurance. He can't ask for the kind of love he wants with Tsukasa.

ahhhhhhhh I love, love love how forelorn... Why does Amane have such at atmosphere of an unrequited lover? You do everything, everything everything for Tsukasa.... and Tsukasa just wants to die, over and over again, to leave you behind. Tsukasa says "I love you, Amane!" so easily, but he won't stay with you. The only way to keep Tsukasa permanently bound to you, is to kill him. The only way to gain the touch you want, is to force his limp body. There's no worse feeling than pining, is there, Amane...

AidaIro-sensei are too amazing at brocon.....

[2n2n]

ch.115

MORE EXCITING THAN ANTICIPATED.........!?!!? unimaginable...

I can't believe Aida-sensei really committed to having to draw that Dorothy outfit so much....! omgg it would be so easy to have Nene-chan change out right after her play..... suppose she wanted to get in a couple more pages of that girl before changing her back huaah..

NENE-CHAAAAAN!!!!!! I'M SORRY GIRL............ I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR CATASTROPHICALLY AND CATEGORICALLY BAD TAAAAAAAAASTE.... I'M SORRY FOR YOUR OWN CONSEQUENCES ........

I can feel it so viscerally though, ugh. I can look at mine or my husband's past flop dating history, escapades..... imagine being dumped in-media-res to my shitty potentials while I'm trying to find my beautiful husband.....................

good representation of the rat

eehghrglg

NENE-CHAAAAAN I'M SORREEYYYYYY!!!! omfgggg it's really so real... imagine being dumped into my pan poly aro days .... the fucking cruising grind girl aourouuruuru

this is so funny though, it's like........ Hanako really did a favor for her by harassing her so much and conscripting her, then? WHAT a way to spin it.... but really, being with Hanako did teach Nene-chan what it's like to be more deeply and seriously invested in someone TT__TT his history, his life, his moods, his desires.... you can see how poor Nene-chan just gets... swept up in whatever is around her, and if the people around her are shallow, she's not able to imagine or invent anything better than what's presented to her....

you can't just invent or enterprise for better, in high school especially....! who can teach you it could be more, if there's no evidence of that in your life..... if all a girl has is a boy only giving her the time of day if she does chores, or a chauvanist bastard, what can she doooo...!

but it's so ah.............................. the new opportunity of Hanako , it's endearing isn't it.... you can understand their raw compatibility, two playful goons, childish in ways, goofing off all the time.... playing games.... but then Hanako has these edges of tenderness & darkness, mouuuu. First time having a best friend, is what it feels like, firstly... I love the ways he inadvertently makes Nene-chan more thoughtful and compassionate, just by existing next to her... he doesn't even ask her to solve anything about him.... he'd rather keep it shallow too, at the start, but the inertia of their chemistry won't allow it to stagnate....

and now. the scariest possible thing in the entire universe

you feel untrustworthy to me.... there is something sick & twisted about you............. put this guy ina cage tie him to a post... he looks wiley......... ouuuuuu I won't forget you skipping and humming while girls summon your cursed otouto.... ooo I won't forget you won't trick me.... ouuuuuuuuu *STANDING BEHIND FURNITURE*

it is a bad sign to me that you have a smug or arrogant aura... as my husband said, "closer to a dracula" ..... you're not a little meep nerdo or mopey sad guy..... my hackles my hackles are raiiiised... yabe

now pause... paws...

what is with you, Amane, you are definitely just making instant coffee.... this isn't even a fancy thing to do... this is the equivalent of putting a packet of hot cocoa powder into a mug, but you're doing it in this convoluted way... for what, for who, do you do this every day like this...... it's kind of lame but really funny also. Is this creating intrigue? Are you trying to seem cool? Did you just forget your mug in the break room? At first I thought he was doing a fanciful method of brewing but he is NOT..... there are no filters here... Yugi-sensei....!?!?

ooooo its happening ooooooooo... im getting aggressions.... ooooo youuu-- I know you're stupid............... look at you......

now, what do you think this experience was like for Yugi-sensei (since as it seems, these are not dreams or delusions or ghosts, but time-travel-like shenanigans with real consequences as streams cross, meaning both Nene-chan and Yugi-sensei equally experienced each other as an anomaly), who has a random girl walk into his science prep room in the 1980s, and she's like, objectively his type

"hmm lol who is this girl I don't recognize from any of my classes .... kinda nice with it tho ? haha whaaat since when am I into students lol ? " girl disappears seconds later. gets all scared like uweh (((Amane who is canonically bad with horror)) kowai.... what was that....... *standing alone in a room with a half-chub*

you know even bandaged pre-murder boy, for all that's going on in his life, still somehow had it in him to be horny about Nene-chan. it's an unstoppable force like that. Amazing that at age 27 Amane can finally like contain it and ''''''act normally'''' (not normal!!!) (but not run away or instantly start sexually harassing)

meanwhile, kind of untenable that he is also like "haha what do you want to talk about. perhaps maybe that cursed rumor everyone's into" like, don't you be bringing your haunted otouto up so often, creep..... what agenda is this!!!!! don't bring it up casually!!! it's suspicious!!!!!!!!

GET A JOB STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!! what are you gonnaa pour her a BEAKER? you gonna do your whole production with the tongs AGAIN? is this you being cool, Yugi-sensei? ooooo ... VILLAIN

but ... (containing my fear) I feel for poor Nene-chan.... poor poor thing.... what a strange, inexplicable figment... your beloved.... something unseen.... something unknown....

very artfully and sweetly conveyed.... I'm happy to see Nene-chan get to meet a Yugi-sensei in his heyday, despite how the ages work out in her exact era... Iro-sensei is very clever for creating the excuse of unstable time around the Festival, and this situation only lasting 3 days anyway. It's a nice, exact circumstance... it has a good, fated feeling. I like that Tsukasa prepped Nene-chan for understanding this situation....

you've found him....! something to chase after.... poor girl.... you can do it, Nene-chan....!

really excited for what she'll do next.... where do we go from here, girl...? You know he worked here, now.... how do we find out more? It's still up in the air, if he's still alive, or not.... if he lived in the Red House... ?

meanwhile, Mitsuba looking broke af

not into it... not into you normally either but not into this hat... very funny though... this is extremely middle schooler vibes.... bucket hat.... striped undershirt....

well, I'll comment on things even if I'm only vaguely interested...

Kou seems to be calmer and more knowledgeable/experienced, which goes with him being already established as an 'exorcist'... I wonder if it, in turn, has something to do with Teru being engaged? I wonder what their roles are ....

uuhghghhh and the gatcha finally reveals what boy we have here in this world..................

AMANEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BABY GIRL...

what happeneddddddd what happened.ddd.... pleaaase... it could not be more extreme..... is this what you're humming and skipping about, Amane? Why are you satisfied-seeming? Why are you spreading the rumor of this? WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!!!

T H E T W I N S H A V E B E C O M E A G E G A P P E D

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!

ohhh little haunted boy unwell unwell.... hole boy.... oobie though... kind of booboo ... worthy of love I think, open to love, must love.... kind of a strange rare gatcha here, this isn't birthday boy, this isn't even recognizable garden boy, this is a wholly new outfit.... surprised to see bare feet... unkempt, dirty seeming... why on EARTH is he THIS AGE !??! what age IS THIS exactly anyway, I can't even be 100% sure!!!! 3??? 4 ???? 5??? did Amane dictate-- any of this??? but honestly it's exactly as incomprehensible as 13 y/o SHOSEI SWAG Tsukasa in the main timeline, an outfit we have equally no context for yet, or proof he even wore when alive at a particular time....

WE FINALLY GET A BONUS NEXT ISSUE.... god uhhhghh meeting Tsukasa-chan finally.... and Nene-chan is seeking her boy.... arrghhhh!!!!!!!!! URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[2n2n]

When was Amane the most honest in the manga?

Gosh. I'm going to sound crazy but ... I think his Antares speech in volume10 ch46 is the most earnest Amane has ever been....? That kind of... immensity, adoration, poetry, kind of delusional imagery, emphasis on the relationships of things... I think the 'real Amane' is that way. While he's hiding from Nene-chan in this strange metaphor she can't understand... he planned that whole set-up on the roof (the telescope, already perfectly tuned & pointed AT Antares, waiting for Nene-chan to discover it! So smooth!!!!) carefully, and he must have really, really wanted to express it to her, despite his own conflicting desire to run away & hide.

I think the same sort of thing is happening in vol3 ch13.... a pure Amane, finding a way to express his heart, without having to confess anything directly...

sometimes I think... maybe even inside of his own skull, Amane can't easily think in literal terms (too afraid of rejection...), instead fixating on imagery & concepts which describe that enormity of his feelings. The people he loves... celestial bodies.

Would also say this boy, having his "I'M FINE!!!" outburst is, despite how people think of him, is being UNBEARABLY honest. I wish he could get taken seriously, for what he's saying, with such importance to him. It reads like an all-important promise he's made to himself. It's everything to Amane, that he forgive what is happening to him....

this is a pure-heartedness of Amane that I see as the rawest one... his love, indomitable, willing to endure anything. Amane would love you even if you went insane, started hurting him, even if you had no good reason to be doing it.

I think an honest Amane would be waxing poetic for ages about celestial bodies & speaking in measurements & figures... but, with his lover finally grasping his intention & meaning.

I also think the Shinjuu was an incredibly sincere gesture from Amane. Sadly, Tsukasa couldn't understand it any better than Nene-chan can understand the Antares speech.

[2n2n]

bury it.

Amane can seem confusing, but he's consistent.

Something terribly shakes him up....

Maybe you think, "I wonder what Hanako will be like when we next see him!?! He was so freaked out last time!! it's going to be explosive!" .... but .... much of the time.... that doesn't happen.

he just buries it.

shaken, shaken...

...to surprisingly disaffected.

something upsetting....

...shrugged away.

The first Amane we'll see after something like the Hell of Mirrors....

...or after Picture Perfect....

.....I wonder what Amane could have been like, coming home, after a moment like this?

Amane....

[2n2n]

ch. 110

brutality, no survivors.... incredible suffering for the girlies (you, me, JP twitter)

and here I thought shenanigans would continue... this promo image was an immediate punch at 6AM

and yet this was all things considered the easy part...? ugh, but... please a moment to drink it in... all of my beliefs in the true power exchange... it's so satisfying to see it like this. it's easy, simple to still Tsukasa, isn't it... towering, presiding older brother.... his joudai trailing... touch your seal... the virtue by which you are kept safe, kept his. Poor Tsukasa. covetous object...!

a rascal....! uhh I love pocket-sanding Akane with old man parts ... amazing technique ahaha, Tsukasa knows how to make people lose focus huh? he's in such a good mood isn't he~ not as resentful as he was towards Mirai pestering him...

mirai explode lol.... I can't say I feel much personally, I guessed she might do this ... it's sweet of her to protect Akane, but I can't think much of it, beyond what it contributes to how we should feel about her. Noble rat after all? not so dumb as Akane had said before?

Mirai holding the yorishiro makes sense, for why she's typically locked in their boundary without any freedom. sure... easy. another key to haunt us! more keys why NOT

I like to see Natsuhiko being cool like this ... ♥

but this is so interesting...

I'm never sure how much Mitsuba really understood about the Broadcast club's greater plans... I wonder if Natsuhiko is being literal here, and Mitsuba DID know what he had to do, but had settled on his suicidal ennui.... ah, having to analyze your life for something precious is grim... he has an issue of not appreciating what he has while he has it, and being unable to state it...

.... and there's nobody to correct him. This is such a manga about... 'reasons'....

among the things even possible.. that poor keychain was destroyed. I wonder if there were a few things going on in Mitsuba's mind even then...

I really like... that mysteries, kaii need something anchoring them... I like that it's not enough, to exist... I like that the body naturally dilapidates, 'wants' to move on or become something else. It's a great metaphor....! In this manga... the most important thing, is loving something. If you don't love something, you can't stay alive. You won't....

I'm still wondering if the original thing Kou gave Mitsuba back in vol. 7 will ever come back around... or if it just gave him a complex or curiosity about the 'old' Mitsuba (who he snoops on in PP after this, so....) ... and can't itself be precious so much as worming...

anyhow... I like this turn of events, but it is so shocking we're stacking handling No. 3 and also No. 1!!!! I can't believe it!!!! IT'S ALL HAPPENINGGGG?????!?!? We haven't stacked mysteries like this before ~~!!!! It's so exciting.... I like Natsuhiko a lot in all of this ♥ I don't know... like with Tsukasa and Mitsuba, I believe him that he found it all charming in its own way, and that he wanted to offer what he could to Mitsuba for the timebeing. It's not as if there are other options, here... Mitsuba... really was never doing the things that needed to be done.... or letting others know what he needed to do.

I suppose Natsuhiko could wake up Kou to watch this if he wanted, but I find it much funnier if Kou just has to wake up at the end of this and Mitsuba is eradicated... lol...

can't say I really understand Teru's position about the mysteries...

you understand the mysteries are a kind of structural pillar for this region, but the pressure that was weighing on Hanako at least seemed to be the Minamoto ... it was that imperative the Broadcast Club's been taking advantage of. The rumors created an excuse to justify the sense of mistrust in the mysteries. But I'll never quite know what Teru is even capable of ... since he shouldn't be able to touch yorishiro ... but directly threatens to exorcize mysteries. Can you have extant yorishiro without the mysteries utilizing them.... ??? Well, I just don't understand it yet.... must put it aside.

back to what really matters...

I love how peaceful, relieved, serene he looks here.... finally, you've been so patient, Tsukasa... every little step of this has taken so long.... holding the last yorishiro in your hands... trusting Amane to handle you, after... it must feel good. The end in sight....

I really love this reach for Amane's knife...

back in this position, are we?

ah.... poor Amane. For a moment... I appreciate what he's trying to do, here. He sounds patient... he sounds like an older brother. Explaining so cleanly...

you want to be sure Tsukasa understands... maybe you think-- he hasn't thought this through, or he doesn't get the consequences, he's being childish, or reckless, maybe he's misunderstood how it happened before ... I love to hear Amane, say something so direct as... won't see you again.... won't be able to save you ... everything he did last time! to ensure... that you wouldn't be apart! the binding of their souls! tying Tsukasa down to him like a ship in a storm! protection, mooring... keeping you, where he can see you! remaining together, at all costs! that's important to you too, right, Tsukasa? don't you want to see each other?

it's as if you're saying you don't want to be together, don't want to be saved... what do we do with people who don't ask you to save them? why must they insist on leaving you behind?

Mitsuba won't ask Kou to save him. Sumire wouldn't ask Hakubo to save her. Aoi didn't want Akane to save her. I wonder if Tsukasa didn't ask Amane to save him, but Amane did it anyway... her certainly wasn't asking for a hero in the Red House, or to live on coming back.

it's a kind of rejection, isn't it? When someone is so ambivalent about the life you love so much... the life you want with them... it's as if they're saying, "I don't want to be with you enough to live for you."

Of course, every time, they're really saying ... "I just don't know what I mean to you." Mitsuba doesn't feel valuable to Kou; only a replacement, a reminder of something he once cared about. Best to give up. Sumire imagined Hakubo was only placating her, and could only wish not for his earnest sadness, but for him to pretend to be sad for her. Best to let death happen. and Aoi didn't feel Akane knew the real her, imagined he would reject the real Aoi, only in love with his grand projection of her. Best to step away now.

Of course, Tsukasa thought his brother hated him, so...

It all feels so simple and logical! It's saving trouble, right?

Amane made such a gesture last time... in their shinjuu... he tried, he really tried, to say something ... to Tsukasa.

but, the message didn't go through...

but I can only be so sympathetic to Amane, as he's an incredible hypocrite. Of course, Amane has put Nene-chan through everything Tsukasa puts him through.

You also try to grant your beloved a wish for a future that explicitly doesn't involve you, and make her feel rejected, abandoned, given no choice...

Amane...

oh, Yugi twins....

.... why can't you understand when you're precious? Why can't you understand how bad it hurts, to abandon somebody? Amane-chan really suffered without you, Tsukasa. You're always the one leaving him, and getting to feel sacrificial about it. He's trying to tie you down....

.... it's a natural response... to lash out. Rejected... misunderstood... abandoned... why is Tsukasa asking you to give up on him? Why can't he understand, even with that seal on his cheek... even as you died with him....

兄の思いは届かず…

I really love that for the chapter's end.

Amane's feelings never did reach Tsukasa. It wasn't understood, what he had tried to do, his sadness now. But... Amaneeeee....

maybe you could use a taste of your own medicine....

we think we know just how to make someone else's wish come true, don't we?

isn't it such an insult! WHY!!!!!! """"WHY""""""??????

..... I'm out of images, so I'll continue in a reblog, for a couple more thoughts I'm having ....

but for this post... ahhhh. It's unbelievable we're at least starting to tackle... this. I feel bad for Amane, I really do... I feel bad for Tsukasa, too. It's hard to not hurt someone you love ... in an attempt to only hurt yourself. If we hurt ourselves, we hurt the thing our lover adores ... we spit on their love for us.

I can understand why and how Amane can say "I hate you" ... to Tsukasa. As much as Akane could childishly say it to Aoi ... and you know, it is that same unimaginable love which makes it possible. Years of familiarity, it makes you more liable to lash out. There is such a greater sense of betrayal, when you've expended so much effort... when you try so hard for someone... when you're in so much pain about them....! After all I've done... you CAN'T say this or that to me.... etc, etc! Those intense emotions... can make you feel entitled, to never be hurt... you can't hurt me, after all I've hurt for you!

and I do think it's being said extremely childishly... daikirai... he's just, unable to be any more constructive with his feelings, he's so... hurt, mad. As much as Nene-chan is so mad, hearing Hanako spit on all of her efforts she made to reach him... BIG SLAP!!!

Amane, he's maybe endured 50 years of effort and an awful lot of physical suffering for Tsukasa, and it's not gotten through... wwww! I'm sorry, I'm worried Tsukasa might have a PROFOUND amount of suicidal urge. Might be an uphill battle, Amane... you might just need to save Tsukasa because you are selfish, and you want him for yourself. There might be no easier reason ... to keep him by your side. We can't make Tsukasa beg to stay with you... but you won't beg him to stay, will you? I think that would actually do a lot of good, Amane... but you really won't do that....

meanwhile, I love the juxtaposition of Nene-chan's incredibly childish DAI DAI DAISUKIII and this daikirai lol... we all have big feelings don't we lol....! well...

[2n2n]

So things are very changed now, so I was wondering, do you think it's possible for things to magically go back to the way they were before like Hanako-kun going back to being the 7 mystery and Tsukasa being his yorishiro? Or will this reality simply never exist again? So this means this could be tbhk's last arc, but it feels like there are still so many questions left unanswered 😢

I think you, and, other people panicking, really need to stop and take a breather, and remember how... stories work. How narratives operate.

even a mediocre and poorly planned shounen manga would typically not suddenly pivot in the middle and retcon everything! Do you think JSHK appears poorly-planned or made-up-on-the-spot? PERSONALLY, in my experience with AidaIro's works, they have a TON of integrity with regard to story themes and character motivations. Iro-sensei really, REALLY desires for readers to come to UNDERSTAND characters. Iro-sensei was a sobbing mess on the publication of JSHK, because they were scared people would not LIKE it, and thus, they would not get to continue to unfold the story. They LIKE their characters a LOT! They want you to UNDERSTAND Yugi Amane, Yugi Tsukasa, Yashiro Nene, etc etc!! Deeply, and truly!

While a lot of shounen are filled with nonsense-of-the-week and neverending organizations of dozens of villains showing up without connection or significance, I would argue that JSHK has none of that. We've been on the same exact journey from the very beginning: we want to understand Yugi Amane, and we want to save him.. .whatever that means.

You need to lean back in your chair and let AidaIro-sensei whisk you away! You need to trust that it will take time, but, that there are answers in AidaIro-sensei's notebooks to everything.

No, the story isn't ending right now! No, that reality is not gone!

To me, this kind of panic is like....

if Picture Perfect began, and you worried, "oh no, Hanako-kun is our villain now, we're fighting him, will he ever be our hero again?" or "oh no, we're stuck in a fake reality... will we ever go back to the real world?"

Or, if during the Severance, you worried, "oh no, the near and far shore have been severed, will we never get in-school shenanigans ever again?" "oh no, Aoi is dead for good..."

In reality, this arc-- like every arc-- is going to be a way for you and I to see new angles on the characters we love.

We already knew Yugi Amane created an aberrant future, and we were intrigued by the notion of school teacher Amane from the 'original' timeline. Finally, we are going to SEE that timeline. If we DIDN'T do this, we'd feel something was missing! Everyone has long been curious about THIS reality! We've been desperate, haven't we?? We've been wishing to understand this thing described in VOLUME 3. This isn't scary at all, it's satisfying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To have a fully rounded perspective on the Yugi twins, we need to see this world. For Nene-chan to truly understand HER Amane, she needs to grasp WHAT EXACTLY AMANE DID to CREATE the reality she has been in up until now. We're literally going to investigate the EXACT MOMENT that leads to "Hanako-kun", our lover lol. Until we know that, do we really know "Hanako-kun" at all?

Personally, I want Nene-chan to be INVOLVED in the CREATION of that reality we love. I want to know what role Tsukasa plays in all of it, too.

The reality we have been in was someone's choice! We won't understand the gravity and precision of that choice without seeing it FIRSTHAND. This is not a SCARY event, this is a RELIEVING event-- we will gain perspective!! Nobody should be afraid of that, seriously!

This is what we, the readers, want! And this is how AidaIro-sensei want to show it to us. Very directly!!

We're all very curious about the shinjuu, the Yugi twin's past. What if we could go to that moment, and SEE it? What if Nene-chan could witness it? What if she could set it into motion? These are the kinds of things to be potentially looking forward to.

The manga is called "Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun". We would never do away with "Hanako-kun". That's self-evident!

[2n2n]

the little brother

[2n2n]

it's so sick n twisted that Nene-chan truly agrees with early Hanako's callous assessment of her lack of thought or discerning.... he-- really does think she's dumb, here... I'll always point out, how out of pocket this is to say to someone!!!

she gets so humbled even then.... brutal for a damn 15 y/o girl to go through. Her desperation is so pathetic... this poor thing... her own desire to romanticize her delusions, it spares her humiliation or acknowledging her lack of experience, knowledge, interactions....

apparently Hanako is the only way out of that 😩?! n-nobody else would be mean enough to say it, would they....

SOMETHING DEVASTATING ABOUT NENE-CHAN CALLING HER PAST MINDSET 'AN IDIOT'!!! sh-she's just ignorance, she doesn't know what love is supposed to feel like!!!! everyone go easy on her 😭 SHE JUST DOESN'T... KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT.... BECOMING LOVED!!!! it's sad!!!!!!!! I PITY HER!!!!

I feel like Hanako shoving himself into her life is like, "ah dang I better get in there while I can, before someone else takes advantage" it does just feel like, super inevitable that some guy would take advantage................ that's like why Hanako is inevitable after all.... she does need some sort of chaperone to not wind up cornered in a room...... so she really does need crazy possessive ghost boy keeping everyone's paws off of her ? i-it's so valid, but it's like an Amane is writing the story to justify his actions............... it's valid in a twisted way where the yandere made the universe.....

[2n2n]

I keep dwelling on our poor Amane...

I still am in shock... somehow, this whole time... it's just so impossibly miserable, Tsukasa's reality of simply never understanding the message or point of the shinjuu. This relieved smile, the end finally in reach....

Tsukasa, who can only ever think of 'disappearing' again and again...

the moments before Amane has a complete melt down, listening to this, and then seeing Tsukasa command Nene-chan to take responsibility in destroying every Yorishiro....

the culmination of this entire timeline, the FINAL BEATS of THIS UNIVERSE we've lived in for all of this time, were....

Amane's own MOUTH finally plainly, patiently trying to spell out Tsukasa's actions consequences to him....

those consequences are not, 'the fate of the boundaries' 'the fate of the world' 'the fate of existence'.

It's the threat of never seeing each other ever, ever again! All Amane dictates, if the Yorishiro are destroyed, is Tsukasa disappearing. Interestingly, in this moment, he's not even focused on Nene-chan's fate-- not that it's not deeply important to him, too, but-- Nene-chan already knows her life is precious to him, and that he's fighting to save it. The point he has to make to Tsukasa, is the consequence that occurs between them.

But does Tsukasa understand Amane's many years of fighting to keep them bound...?

I really, really thought that at least on some level, Tsukasa understood what it meant to be Amane's Yorishiro... the treasure at the center of his boundary, his protected & sacred object. He had to understand the shinjuu, the purpose of the act of killing Tsukasa and then himself, was in a desperate bid to keep them together, even in death.

I guess Amane thought that, too! We're right here with him!!

He's done so much, for so many years--! After all this time... it's an incredibly vulnerable moment for Amane to finally acknowledge his own efforts to Tsukasa, directly, to try to ask Tsukasa if he even understands the consequences of his actions.... it truly is the climax of this entire manga, to Hanako's entire existence as a mystery. The previous arc confirmed what a Yorishiro even is, and Tsukasa being Amane's, to prepare us for this devastating blow. The Seventh mystery's existence revolves around protecting his Yorishiro!

in one single expression, a casual word, every single hope in Amane is destroyed.....

it couldn't be a more simple & effortless rejection of everything! Tsukasa's suicidal tendencies are curiously ignorant & naive. Why does it matter if he disappears? He doesn't know why it would matter! IT'S AN INDOMINABLE BELIEF IN HIS UNIMPORTANCE!

Amane, why would it matter?

Tsukasa doesn't see himself disappearing as a consequence. It's a trivial aspect of granting your wish.

Why would you care if he disappeared?

all of this time, he never told Tsukasa anything! It's over 50 years of complete waste! Amane died for nothing! He didn't even die proving he loved Tsukasa more than anything, more than his own future. He didn't convey a single message! The 7th mystery's existence is a joke. Meaningless! You do all of that, and Tsukasa wants to jump into a hole again, just like he did at age 4. NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

what happens next... is so awful, but I do understand Amane's poor broken heart thrashing. Amane is an interesting person... I enjoy his pure black & white thinking. It's kind of moe of him... kind of cutely dramatic and extreme haha. And above all, it kind of preserves this... beautiful idea of Tsukasa, as someone who couldn't disappoint him....?

In a big way, I think Tsukasa is idealized by Amane..... I don't think he's rational about his little brother at all.

To step back for a second... I like that, at one point in time, it appears as if Amane utterly doubled down on 'Tsukasa is real, no matter what.'

Maybe to go on in life, Amane had to believe in that with his whole heart.

The gestures he made in the shinjuu, were in devotion to that belief. Tsukasa's purity of being. 'You ARE my little brother-- no matter what anyone says-- and I'll die to be with you forever.'

Now, Tsukasa is apparently utterly ignorant to his efforts, blind to Amane's aching love for him... Amane's response is essentially, "Tsukasa would never do that to me, Tsukasa WOULD understand"

"for you to hurt me this badly, you CAN'T be my Tsukasa"... that's the mindset Amane suddenly has. He can't handle anything else!!!

Somehow... it's better if some unknown monster tricked him, lied to him, if this person beneath him isn't Tsukasa at all. Never was. If it's a waste, better for it to be a complete and UTTER waste!!!!!!!

it's so terrible of him, but it's merely a childish tantrum. He's only hurt.

It's interesting that it doesn't hurt Tsukasa, at all, but Amane-- he obviously wants to hurt this Tsukasa....? He defensively wishes to say the most awful thing he can think of to... this monster. But if it's a monster, what would it care, Amane? If this isn't your little brother, why would it care about you stating the truth? Do you want to see it cry?

Tsukasa, for his mileage, I just don't think harsh or cruel words can ever hurt him. After all, he doesn't see himself as important, or imagine he has any value, at all. If Amane says 'I hate you', or insults him, or acts annoyed, it makes no difference to his fate. He already exists in a perpetual reality of trying to make himself disappear. It's not as if Amane can rob him of his will to live, or make him feel his existence is pointless. He has no will to live. He's always acting on that assumption. Amane cannot erode his belief in his value or make him cry about how much Amane hates him, because that's the only thing Tsukasa has ever believed was true.

There's a sort of excruciating discrepancy between the Yugi twins...

If Amane could hurt Tsukasa, he would probably be soothed, somehow, that his feelings matter to Tsukasa. But Tsukasa has always easily said, "or would you prefer if I disappear?" with a smile on his face, as if it's inconsequential. I'm entirely sure Amane's ideal world would be one where his frustration makes Tsukasa sob and beg for his love, acceptance, or forgiveness. Tsukasa, however, doesn't do that, because he doesn't feel he deserves Amane's love, apparently! He already accepts a world in which Amane doesn't love him, so Amane saying 'I hate you' won't make him cry, not ever. But to Amane, that makes it look like it doesn't matter if he hates Tsukasa! Which makes it seem like Tsukasa doesn't need his love, or need him...

I think in Amane's mind, Tsukasa is his pristine little brother... he won't accept a reality in which Tsukasa would reject his heart, in which Tsukasa didn't perceive his love.

....despite the words themselves, I think they come from a place of deep love. If Amane didn't love Tsukasa so much, he wouldn't care about his 'message' to him, and he wouldn't care about a 'fake'.

now whimsically I want to say... Amane is such a pained and agonized romantic with such immense issues with jealousy & possessiveness, I wonder how he dealt with the idea of some strange thing being housed in Tsukasa's heart?

I can understand 'complete and utter denial' as a means of coping with something too painful to accept. If Tsukasa is replaced, there's nothing left for you to love. And if something else has taken his heart, you can never have it.

If Amane ultimately stabbed Tsukasa in the heart, maybe he was trying to take something back, or claim his dominance over that territory.

Tsukasa, he's unfortunately quite reckless with that thing....

It's interesting, because Amane these days is such a doomer, you could almost think "ah, I see, he'll believe in the 'worst possible thing' now, and give up on Tsukasa's realness entirely."

But "this Tsukasa is and has always been a fake" is not actually the 'worst possible thing'!

The worst possible thing would be "This Tsukasa is real, and he never understood I love him, and he doesn't want to be with me" !! "Tsukasa never knew I loved him, he died believing I hated him" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amane is in fact still coping.....................................................

[2n2n]

ughhh lately I've been thinking about how Nene-chan is a girl who avidly writes in a diary, and is very earnest about her feelings in said entries even if she is avoidant of admitting them aloud....

wouldn't Nene-chan reading HER OWN diary from this different world, give her insight into her lifestyle & what this world is like....? 'firsthand'....

Teru needs an explanation from Aoi, while Kou needs no explanations (instead we'll see firsthand what his reality is, it seems, & he'll instead have to figure out his OTHER life).... it would be nice for Nene-chan to just go home and, investigate her own bedroom, personal belongings, yearbooks, photos....

it's a fantasy, a delusion, ig.....

[2n2n]

CH. 116

WOOOO!! ah I wished for a Tsukasa color image... aren't we so blessed....

a delicate princess pose lol...... every Tsukasa has a kind of hime-sama vibe, even dirty orphan... isn't it true....

God. what did Amane do with you

now this is a meaningless detail I'm sure everyone will note, but I do think a correction was made to Kou's staff. Previous chapter it had the 'seal' Hanako placed on it when they met....

which doesn't really make sense in this world...

It now seems to be a seal to imbue it with lightning. Even in distance shots, or shots before Teru himself is holding it. So it's simply an error that has been corrected.

it's not the first time AidaIro-sensei have bungled a small detail. The dates for the Yugi twin's 4th birthday were originally printed slightly off (1960 in magazine print VS 1959 in volume print), and I used to go insane staring at the literally same panels with different numbers LOL. If it was an earnest mistake, we'll likely see the seal replaced with this lightning one in the previous chapter, in the volume edition.

It's kind of endearing... because if I had to guess I assume the seal was a simple aida-sensei bungle, while the dates/calendar was an iro-sensei bungle. Both such simple mistakes to make though, lol... and both caught!

I wonder if it's kind of a concession to make it easier on Aida-sensei LOL, I feel bad for her having to always subtract or add seals and occasionally messing up... maybe it's easier to draw a seal there on impulse, and just change the symbol on it, than get used to drawing the staff fully without seal at all.. it doesn't have one in the first volume, of course, lightning or anything...

so wild to see Kou just punch a kid...

maybe I am overthinking it, but it doesn't feel like the lightning really hurts Tsukasa....? feels like he just whacked him with a broom for all that did....

typically even a feeble small bolt at least hurts Hanako or seizes his body briefly...

though Tsukasa is always flat affect when receiving pain, you can at least see it does technically hurt him/leave a mark, like it does on Hanako...

eh... wonder. The lightning only works on 'evil spirits' and not blessed ones, so I'll just say I'd be really intrigued if this Tsukasa was not technically an 'evil spirit'.... Hanako is categorically one (like it or not). I do not really know what this Tsukasa is (:> my heart is open to anything....

AND THEN IT IS TIME FOR ULTIMATE INTRIGUE!!!! GOING TO MAKE ME CRY!!! I was watching all the girlies on JP twitter losing their minds....

p-please... why does Tsukasa always have some... strange, confused aspect to him, like his mind isn't all there, like he can't remember where he is or what he's doing... this is a devastating tiny peek into something... AidaIro-sensei are, such masters... how can Tsukasa balance so well, being a scamp menace, and seeming so unfortunate? Your heart hurts, doesn't it... he always loves Amane. He is always calling for him....

I wonder if he's just confused easily when alone, or if there's something about his perception of reality/time/space, or what... he seems to get kind of lost while he's chasing Nene-chan around too... I wonder why!!! Tsukasa-chan... do you think you're chasing Amane, do you remember playing with Amane...? Do you hallucinate other people as Amane...? Or... do you just not remember when and where you are... or do you call out to him compulsively when alone? Why did you say it in your own tone of voice, apart from the well's...? A white textbox, standing out from the black... What is your state, little otouto...

Did Amane train you to do this....? Does that mean you did this with him? How and why are you here!!! 100 QUESTIONS

ohhh lamentably fuckable otouto .... Amane I don't know what you did but I wonder if I'll be able to blame you.... I dunno, something about Tsukasa, maybe you've gotta subjugate him to quiet the darkness within you wwwww....

now, I think Kou made a big mistake w, I'm going to assume Tsutsu started barrelling at him at inhuman speed

I hope you got caught in about 5 seconds....

this is all the twitter girlies summoning Tsukasa to ask him what color Amane's underwear is

glad to have another angle of 'yorishiro' lore...

yorishiro is an established concept in shinto beliefs as it is, so obviously it always has had an existence of SOME kind outside of the mysteries specifically... but we haven't gotten to really know what those are, in THIS world! I like learning about this simpler, pared-down version of the idea... less complicated and advanced than the mysteries obviously... I like that one would not need some sort of kannagi/miko/blessed being to destroy this kind of simple yorishiro. This would imply a lot more power to the SEALS in particular, and whatever PLACES them onto the mysteries, which PROTECT them from such simple destruction (I get the impression the Mysteries are trying to create a system of checks-and-balances by REQUIRING cooperation between HUMANS and KAII both... which makes one ask 100 questions about how they came to be)...

well I like this tidbit (: grudge you say.... hmhmmmm...

do you remember when I finally was like OHHH i get it, the purpose of KouMitsu is raw physical assault, that's the fetishistic appeal of it, that is the kind of yaoi it is visually... is like, a small, waify pink haired femme boy getting hit and grabbed and throttled and straddled and kabedon'd by a shoe and screamed at. Well it's happening again.

hmm. This is the best you have ever looked in your life, Kou. You should be grateful. You'll never achieve this level of minxy foxie slay on your own, with your ugly little sonic the hedgehog eyeballs....

hm though. I think some individuals are going to have some kind of a forced sexual awakening, from the concept of Tsukasa possessing Kou and harming Mitsuba like this. I dunno. Some people, they've really built Tsukasa into such an ultimate terror in their minds, it has to come out the other end some day (like all deep-seated fears do). I dunno man. If you're uncontrollably aroused by this concept/scene don't worry, it's normal. Mitsuba's divine purpose in life is to have his limbs chopped off and be thrown around the room like a ragdoll...

a Tsukasa-chan who doesn't like yelling.

it's funny to get all quiet and just continue to more silently strangle him wwww...... very Tsukasa-like........

yaoi panel wwwwwwww.....

WE ARE ONCE AGAIN QUESTIONING TSUKASA-CHAN'S AUTHENTICITY!!! is it ever really 'Yugi Tsukasa'? Ohhh what did the stupid clockkeepers really accomplish....

I'm hoping they had a hubris, and had no real idea the domino effect of time shenanigans that occur from tampering with Tsukasa... considering Nene-chan's timehopping means Tsukasa connects to FAR more involved points in time than may be obvious to a linear-time observer...

[2n2n]

I'd like to think a little out loud about Amane's perception of Tsukasa's escape from his boundary, and his possible underlying emotional arc regarding Tsukasa... he's a difficult boy who doesn't talk about most of his feelings, particularly about Tsukasa... so all we can do for now, until he talks, is theorize. But let's go...

Before the shinjuu, Amane ominously speaks in metaphors about the moon, & believing in something being real, even if nobody else does. It's a pretty obvious allusion to Tsukasa. He also mentions forgiving something and someone, even if nobody else could understand or forgive them. Amane is devoted to Tsukasa-- that's the only way I can read this, personally.

Amane in a recent chapter, revealed that his intention with the shinjuu was to save Tsukasa, & allow them to remain together.

we have seen that... perhaps in Amane's boundary, Tsukasa was kept in a stasis, enshrined in sakura blossoms, dressed in his regalia.

Tsukasa could only escape this boundary with the help of Sakura. We know Sumire could not leave her boundary without assistance, either. We also recently hear Tsukasa talk about needing to create your own exit from prison, & Amane... not responding to his cries for help, at some point.

seeing Tsukasa like this makes Amane emotional. With this encounter, Tsukasa believes Amane is happy to see him.

Amane snaps violently & emotionally after this moment, slamming Nene-chan into the ground by her wrists, in much the way we expect him to treat Tsukasa. Was that gesture intended for Tsukasa? We don't quite know what it means, yet. We also don't know what expression Tsukasa sends towards Nene-chan before departing! Mysteries.

Amane is upset as the Mitsuba conflict ensues, & wants to know why Tsukasa is doing all of this-- and presumably, why he's gone through all of the trouble to escape the boundary Amane placed him in (for his own protection?)....

Tsukasa declares that he loved the moment Amane finally stopped holding back, & killed him.

Amane becomes ... overwhelmed, emotional, crying, vulnerable. I do not believe what he is feeling is fear of Tsukasa for being crazy or something, I believe what he is feeling is fear of being seen, fear of discussion & acknowledgement of his grand gesture, fear of addressing feelings he has (cowardly?) avoided (?) by keeping Tsukasa in stasis (?)....

Amane, in response to this, shuts down & doubles down on his bleak belief system: that it doesn't MATTER if Tsukasa loves him, it doesn't MATTER because things can't be DIFFERENT, as a ghost, things can't CHANGE. Whatever regrets he had in life, whatever he failed to achieve with Tsukasa, whatever future he wished for of them... cannot come to be.

Amane & Tsukasa have no future, & nothing can be changed.

Clockkeepers happens, & Amane again doubles down on his belief system, of a fixed fate. There is nothing he can do to save Nene-chan.

By the Hell of Mirrors, I believe Amane .... begins to 'play' with Tsukasa. I personally believe Hell of Mirrors is essentially Amane & Tsukasa messing with everybody-- with Mitsuba & Nene-chan as their respective clowns. Tsukasa has playfully taken the role of Amane's 'rival', despite actually doing everything in service to Amane's wish. Amane plays at being Tsukasa's 'rival' back, and the entire 'fight' is extremely unserious for the two of them...

Let's say, extrapolating, that Tsukasa was a very suicidal person by nature. Let's say, that he never had the will to live, willing to trade his life for Amane's as a child, & willing to come back, knowing his death at Amane's hands is inevitable.

WE now know, Tsukasa has ONLY COME BACK, NOW, this time, in order to once again OFFER HIMSELF as a sacrifice for AMANE'S WISH. However, Amane, at this point in the manga-- volume 7-- doesn't seem to know Tsukasa's plan.

I think at this point, Amane is curious. Tsukasa escaped, Tsukasa is doing a lot of things. Maybe he's doing more specific and involved things than he ever has. Maybe Amane is curious what Tsukasa really... wants to do. Why can't they both be out, messing around, playing?

I don't personally think Amane never quelled Tsukasa out of an inability to OR a fear of him-- we regularly see him thrash, grab, throttle, scream at Tsukasa, we also see him nonchalantly peel the cuddly & clingy Tsukasa off of him without issue. He very clearly isn't actually afraid of being hurt by Tsukasa, and he DEFINITELY isn't afraid of telling Tsukasa what to do! I think Amane ALLOWED Tsukasa this freedom Tsukasa was suddenly inexplicably fighting for.

Picture Perfect rolls around, & Amane & Tsukasa are now blatantly working together, rather than the sloppy & makeshift playsession of Hell of Mirrors. Tsukasa created a circumstance, Amane collaborates with him. The goal of Picture Perfect is to permanently freeze Nene-chan in a painting, to functionally imprison her.

What Amane attempts to do to Nene-chan is not unlike what he had done to Tsukasa, in his boundary. In the name of "keeping you safe" or "saving you", Amane usurps their will, seeks to overtake their autonomy. It's easy to understand why Tsukasa thought this solution might be appealing to Amane... if he wanted to, he could keep Nene-chan in a kind of blind stasis.

I think Nene-chan makes Amane reflect on this impulse of his. I think Amane is scared to see himself... take this sort of path, all over again, with a living girl... with a girl with so much passion, optimism, so much possibility for herself....

.... but I also honestly think... right now anyway... that Amane cannot trust Tsukasa to run his own life. That unlike Nene-chan, Tsukasa had no dream for his future, no wish to grow up, go to college, get married, etc. All he ever wanted was to see Amane, to learn about him, to see to it Amane had a happy future, or at least... had whatever he wanted, whatever that was.... even if what Amane wanted was to throw away his future.

Amane pivots into attempting to add life to Nene-chan's lifespan, something he couldn't have possibly done for Tsukasa.

Now.... I think a terrible sort of miscommunication, misunderstanding... occurs, here, at the far shore. It's still up in the air, but I want to do my best to propose the situation...

Here, Tsukasa once again affirms to Amane that he loved the shinjuu. Tsukasa, who gave up on his life multiple times-- who never seemed eager to live-- relates to Nene-chan's desire to die in the far shore, to forego her future, for Amane.

Tsukasa prods Amane to think about repeating his act of destruction, to once again erase Tsukasa's existence. Amane is seduced by the suggestion, for this moment. It is appealing to him, intoxicating.

Amane understands doing this, would mean dismembering Tsukasa with his own hands.

Tsukasa is surprised Amane apparently already 'knew' about this, had thought about it... even if in the back of his mind. Amane was destroying yorishiro this whole time. Why did he allow that? Perhaps... it was a self-destructive urge of a sort?

I think Tsukasa's glee, his acceptance, his urging for another dose, is.... something Amane is trying to understand.

At this point, I think Amane has every question in his heart: Did Tsukasa understand why Amane killed him? Did he understand the meaning of the gesture? Does he finally understand Amane's love for him? Amane threw away his entire future for Tsukasa. He was deeply devoted to him, & he attempted to show that devotion in the form of the shinjuu. Amane said something like, "if you have no future, then I won't, either. If you don't want to live, then I refuse to live on. I'm going to keep us together, forever; you can't ever leave me. I won't allow my self to have a future without you." with his actions. Amane can't say things with his words, typically. He is really... awful at words.

What could "do it right" mean? Amane was willing to just have Teru blast him to bits in the Far Shore, so obviously, he doesn't truly value his existence, even now. He is our self-destruction boy.

But perhaps Tsukasa and Amane could simply perform shinjuu pt2, but this time, Amane knows explicitly that Tsukasa loves it, loves him, & maybe even this time, Amane can be sure Tsukasa understands what it means, to sink into oblivion together. To not force it on Tsukasa this time-- but-- to have his consent, to both be self-aware, mutually. The commitment, the devotion he attempted to convey... Maybe!!!! MAYBE some tiny part of Amane THOUGHT that was what happened, in the Far Shore. Maybe he thought he could blast himself to oblivion with an elated, beloved Tsukasa who 'gets it', & save Nene-chan's life & future. Maybe HE could finally 'do it right'!

I think at this point... Amane doesn't know why Tsukasa is doing anything. But I don't think that is bleak, I think that is actually exciting.

There is so much left unsaid between them... I think, for a moment, Amane has a shred of hope, that he could learn something new about Tsukasa.... who he's been unable to understand, or do anything for. Tsukasa, who asks for nothing... Tsukasa, who only tries to die again & again, who can't seem to UNDERSTAND, SEE Amane's love for him. Who Amane can't communicate a thing to.

Buuut... I think this flicker of curiosity, hope, the dream of being seen, understood, of communicating together finally, is why Amane is now flipping out, deeply upset & distraught by Tsukasa's same insistence as ever in his own lack of value.

I think that is why Amane is snapping at Tsukasa, saying "I hate you". He feels like Tsukasa is rejecting him, won't let them be together... doesn't WANT to be together! Tsukasa is here, again seemingly only wanting to die, wanting to leave him BEHIND... this time! Is that "doing it right", actually? It's "right" to be separated? You can understand Amane's unbridled agony.... how it turns into pure anger.

Amane's feelings failed to reach his otouto!!! this whole time, I really think Amane feared that, more than anything.

His EXISTENCE-- AS HANAKO-- an existence HE ties exclusively to being with respect to his crime-- rendered meaningless! Confirmed to mean nothing! Tsukasa wants to disappear, and that's that.

The entire point of the shinjuu was missed! His gesture of devotion & love-- was nothing, the past decades enshrining him-- was nothing. Tsukasa thinks you hate him. He's thought you hate him this whole time. You're so cartoonishly far from sharing the beautiful consummation of a second shinjuu together.

You can understand then how the sense of rejection, being misunderstood, contorts in Amane's poor frenzied brain until it becomes his own violently-spat rejection-- "I get it now, you're not even REALLY my brother!!! You're fake!! My little brother wouldn't do this to me!!!! You're not my Tsukasa!!! you CAN'T be!!!"

a very pathetic & childish response to rejection. "You can't reject me-- you're not even REAL! You rejecting me doesn't even mean anything!!! I'll reject your entire existence!!!" oh, Amane....

You can understand how Tsukasa simply watches the response... I think the intensity of it is interesting.

For a boy who likely once doubled down so hard on Tsukasa's authenticity.... it's an extreme 180. It's just a response to pain.

I think.... maybe we now, next, will explore, "what if Amane didn't do the shinjuu at all? What if Tsukasa simply disappeared for good, & Amane was left behind?" in a new timeline. This rejection of Tsukasa is an intense culmination of everything thus far... Amane's built-up curiosity, hope, feeling baited & seduced into imagining something satisfying, only to fall flat on his face. This timeline showed us the insurmountable extent of Tsukasa's belief in his lack of value, a belief so strong Amane cannot pierce it, not even if Tsukasa awakens adorned in silk in a bed of sakura blossoms.

.... but I can't pity Amane too much, because I swear to GOD if you'd only SAY "I love you", he would understand that. I'm sorry Tsukasa can't understand your abstract poetic gestures, Amane!!!!!!!! LOOK, IT'S HARD FOR NENE-CHAN TO UNDERSTAND THEM AS WELL--!

But she's a romance-loving cumrotted girl, she's better at this than Tsutsu.... she can miraculously kind of see through the gestures like , trying to murder another girl for her sake. it's very impressive of Nene-chan... but I think Tsukasa-chan needs you to... like, say it, very directly, okay!! We can't do the indirect stuff!!! I promise your otouto loves you, if you'd only do something like actually beg him to stay with you!!!!! But Amane isn't honest enough to do thaaaat....

in any event, as always, it's very hypocritical of Amane, who continuously keeps trying to leave Nene-chan behind, which often makes her feel rejected or confused. Why is Hanako always trying to leave her?

well, because he believes she couldn't have a happy or fulfilling life with him, who can't offer her anything she wants.

I'm sure Tsukasa feels the same way, Amane! I don't know what he thinks he can do for you! Aren't you better off without him?

Please-- Nene-chan... you have to help them. She has to see how much Amane needs Tsukasa, for herself... then, even if the Yugi can't tell each other clearly, she can tell them herself.

[2n2n]

ch. 113

I do have a serious family emergency going on IRL at the moment. But wouldn't you know it, the chapter is the day before I have to make a trip about it. So I can have a brief respite from scary & stressful things....

we see Amane at the 81st annual festival. Our current festival is the 113th. the Amane we see here would be ~27. (remember, Amane would be ~60 years old if he were alive in the 'present' of JSHK, which is 2015)

so, we finally see 1:1, precisely the boy in the 'corrected' timeline'

and he looks-- LIKE THIS??????????????????

in THIS timeline, Amane feels in-control, he's humming or whistling, he's pleased to hear Tsukasa's rumor play out???!?!????!?!??

WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!? what did you do--!! what did you do--!!!!!!! This is the last thing I expected for you, what, you're in a great mood. Your brother seems to be some sort of cursed school-bound ghost. A good day for you, Amane-sensei?!?!?!?!? What did you do!!!!!

In every timeline, Amane really is crazy! Amazing! Do you always manage some sort of control over Tsukasa's fate, no matter what!?

I DON'T KNOW, AIDAIRO-SENSEI!!! you were right, this month's Hanako-kun is unbearable!!!!

ah, was it that simple all along... lol. just keeping her informed... you not only kept Nene-chan in the dark unnecessarily and had to explain yourself twice, you also made us sit through 2 chapters for the basic run-down, Teru....

it's such an interesting situation....!

It would be impossible for just anyone to pinpoint even the year of the Clockkeeper's interference... let alone the exact altercation they interrupted. Someone would have to have quite intimate knowledge of, specifically the Yugi twins history, to even start looking.

And even so, you've also got to avoid the Clockkeepers just fixing it again, or nipping at you, right? I wonder if we'll have to essentially... go back, instigate events with the Yugi which result in our yorishiro Tsukasa ... and then ... peel the Clockkeeper's yorishiro, to de-power them, and usurp control for ourselves over the timeline? It's so hard to imagine a world where we can let the Clockkeepers remain in any power, if we want to have 'control' ....

but can Nene-chan peel yorishiro, anymore? I wonder if she would need to form a contract with someone else to be granted that right, in this world.... ♥..... well, getting ahead of ourselves... but that would be fun.... I think so, anyway....

so interesting! I wonder if, in this world, Akane even typically called her 'Ao-chan'? That's such an affectionate/familiar nickname.... it would be surprising from someone you're not super close with....

and the implication seems to be that Aoi and Teru have been more familiar SINCE childhood, not just now... so Akane's been completely booted in some capacity... if she's been referring to Teru in such a familiar way since childhood, this arrangement may have happened quite early on....

he was interrupted for a bit, but he does get to say it out loud in full here. I wonder if compulsively letting this slip will seed something in Aoi's mind....

I've always been worried about Teru's interest in Aoi, what with their families histories... I've worried it has less to do with legitimate interest and more to do with, I don't know... power levels, bloodline, maintaining something or correcting something... it just doesn't pass my smell test. An arranged marriage is very bad news!

I feel so dumb for missing this LOL!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure our Ao-chan is on her way to remembering her true love....

briefly distracted by Tsutsu's tits....

noting the room number in case that becomes relevant later lol....

this is so extremely creepypasta vibes... AidaIro-sensei are in their creepypasta era right now....

UUUGH. IT'S SO EXCRUCIATINGLY EXCITING....

I saw someone joking that it's "like a gatcha", which Tsukasa are we going to get? Shosei-outfit boy? Summer uniform boy? Winter? 3 year old?????????????????????????? what Tsukasa is HERE?????? We don't even understand yet why our 'Amane' is in his winter uniform or called 'Hanako-san'! THIS TSUKASA COULD BE ANYTHIIIING--!!!

and a reminder that a 'rumor' is not necessarily a school Mystery (the confession tree was a rumor!)... mysteries are specific pillars of God appointed in some way into their position, with a yorishiro. Tsukasa could be a fully-fledged mystery, orrrrr he could be a weaker rumor!

EITHER WAY, WE'LL HAVE TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS, WON'T WE.........!!!!!! Come onnnnnnnnnnnnn Nene-chan!!!! I want to hear her summon Tsukasa just like she once did Hanako--!!!!!! RAAAHHH !! I want to know if he'd remember/recognize her or not...!!! UUUU

it's so crazy and exciting! AidaIro-sensei are too good at it all... I couldn't have ever imagined this Amane-sensei ah, smiling, crazily while girls summon his otouto to play....? why and how is Tsukasa a rumor... what happened to him in life to make his name famous... why is he in the modern-day more known than 'Amane' was..... ??? I'm scared for my life! Next month can never come fast enough....