#Asurei is toxic yuri

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Seeing people call Shinji/Rei fans “proshitters” and claim that we harass people has me like WTF!!! If anything it’s always people who spam the same comments on every AMV or post that decide to talk shit then don’t want to get hit. Can we be a bit defensive or quick to react even to comments asking in good faith? Sure, but people spamming the same crap on every post and calling us incest supporters or proshippers has caused a lot of Reishin fans to become a lot more defensive and hostile to criticism since we’ve become the fandom’s punching bag, on both Reddit, Evageeks and here on tumblr.

Regarding it being “proship”, I’m sure some see it that way due to antis painting it as problematic but that’s not how I see it. This isn’t one of those incest for incest ships. Spin off comics and games never treated it as problematic and Rei was depicted as a distant cousin at worst and the episode 26 AU had her as a random student with no relation to Shinji. She is not, just, a clone of his mother and Lilith being a big part of her does remove a lot of the genetic relation. Most fanfics don’t treat it as incest either with Going Another Way, The Girl Who Shouted I at The Heart Of The World and Reinterpretation of Evangelion having them be distant relatives at most. If it still squicks you out fine, but stop lying about it or its fans as most don’t ship it because they have an incest fetish or Oedipal complex. They do so because they love the dynamic between them or find it more mature and nuanced than the other two ships.

[toxicyuribracket]

Toxic Yuri Bracket Round 28

[automatic-midnight]

My biased, really unpopular take is that I think rit/su/maya is an objectively boring ship.

[44del]

“we want more toxic yuri” YALL COULDNT EVEN HANDLE ASUREI!!!

[vapefluid]

ok i give up

asurei is officially on my ship radar now

this toxic yuri is burning my heartstrings and my hamstrings

god damn

[ourobonez]

asurei is good and epic and awesome because being an incredibly mentally ill teenager (im reminding you that thwy are children . fourteen . little bebes.) in love with someone but being unable to express it (for both of them in different ways) so they just do not communicate and start hating themselves and each other while loving each other all the same? that is fucking DEVASTATING . they cannot fix each other. they can love each other though. and they will make each other worse . i <3 toxic yuri

[cosmobrain00]

r u really a toxic yuri enthusiast if u didnt ship asurei at least once cmon

[worldend]

'why do ppl like asurei they hate eachother' you will never understand the appeal of toxic yuri

[kkbardd]

reflected in your eyes, back in mine

[kkbardd]

I read'd your asurei take/headcanon post and whole shit it a fucking amazing post and love the potential dynamic/relationship/toxic yuri that would develop between those two it fantastic now I am dying to read it. So I was wondering if u had recs for any ships that follow this dynamic

yayyyy thank u sm!! but mannnn tbh im just as clueless as u are, im still searching for some more good toxic yuri ships to latch onto T-T if anyone reading this has recs pls lmk too </3

the only yuri pair i know that's the closest dynamic-wise imo is probably the short manga series Ubai Ai by Toyo Totan !!

EDIT: oh damn i completely forgot. if ur ok with bl ships, the one that influenced me a lot is My Beautiful Man (it has a novel but i watched the live action)! its got a huge worship theme that i really like! besides that its not too similar though, vibes only

[kkbardd]

so uhh i got summoned to asurei court, if anyone's interested in my testimony papers, theyre down below the cut. (aka my whole take on how i believe their dynamic would develop in cannon)

asurei isn’t for everyone & its whole point is unhealthy dependence.. toxic yuri if u will.. anything resembling a healthy relationship would only be in one of the alt universes created by the 3rd impact 💀 rei and asuka both have what the other wants (whether it be the worth asuka puts on recognition of piloting skills or rei's desire to break from mindless obedience like asuka seems to do so easily.) They both hate and admire each other for this, and asuka specifically expresses this by lashing out at rei. asuka's whole relationship w lesbian comphet plays a HUGE role into all of this but let’s gloss over it for the time being. (now, with asurei u gotta get a bit delusional cuz cannon doesn’t give us much so from here on out is just my opinion on how it'd play out.)

in terms of rei's POV in this:

rei hates the attention they gets from men, and is especially disgusted by gendo's fake kindness. he sees rei as a replaceable doll and pushes yui's image on them. gendo has never actually seen rei for who they really are, and rei later begins to hate and despise not only gendo but themselves too. in the anime, rei is shown to have self destructive tendencies & suicidal ideation because not only are they constantly being replaced & having their memory wiped, but each time they forget any sort of emotion that they learn in the meantime. recall the scene in which rei, right after being "revived" and left with no memory, sees gendo's glasses. although they cant remember anything, its hinted that their "soul" still remembers and hates him. rei tries to break the glasses but in the end, they’re still unable to defy and break free from their situation. feeling frustrated and helpless, rei starts crying & remarks how this should be the first time they've experienced it but somehow it feels like its not. back to the present, reis acting very reckless in battle and basically using themselves as a meat shield. they're so full of self-hate, and seeing asuka's obvious inferiority to them just upsets them even more. why does she put so much worth on the one thing that acts like a plague to them? compared to these pointless test results on a screen, asuka has something so much more valuable. the ability to think for themselves, to not be someone's doll. asuka's inferiority is almost insulting. rei verbally lashes out at asuka in the elevator, showing defiance that they never knew they could produce. it felt almost liberating. they find that being around asuka gives them emotions that they've always longed for, no matter how ugly they may be. they soon find themselves seeking asuka out, and the inferiority that was once insulting became a means to control and keep her close. asuka, someone who was seemingly invincible and can roam free without care, has one weakness that causes her to crack and shatter from the slightest touch. and that weakness is none other than rei themselves. rei becomes possessive in a way that they've never known possible. so much so that a part of them starts to hate themselves, fearing they've become just like their abuser gendo. nonetheless, rei begins to value their life more. they become deathly afraid of dying & being replaced by some mindless clone that has forgotten everything they now know about asuka and themself.

now what is asuka doing in all of this?

asuka deals with a lot of comphet and its an integral part of her character, so much so that it doesn’t seem right to not mention it. but to quickly summarize, because of this she has a love-hate relationship with attention from men. she feels disgusted by it but gets extremely jealous when it seems like another girl might replace her. then comes rei. (now what most ppl don’t seem to notice is asuka didnt start off hating rei, she tried to be friends but ever since the beginning misato has ALWYAYS pitted them against each other. this of course led asuka to feeling threatened & seeing rei as an enemy. especially since it involves piloting ability, something that asuka sees as her whole point of living.) she begins to hate her because how can someone who is so good at piloting be so brainless and doll-like. that’s exactly what asuka was trying so hard to not become! in this aspect, rei's entire existence defies what asuka has tried so hard to believe in up to this point. her hate & inferiority towards rei is only made worse when she sees that they're not only being objectified by men, but are seemingly unbothered by it unlike asuka. rei is now constantly on her mind, and asuka starts to realize that what she's feeling towards them isn’t just hate. its around the time of the elevator scene that these confusing emotions and inferiorities are at their peak. right after this, asuka goes into battle & is ordered to be rei's backup. she defies this order but receives a mental attack from an angel that causes her to re-live all of her trauma & comphet issues. the person that saved her from this is none other than rei. at this point asuka is at an all-time low, and states that she'd rather be left for dead than saved by someone like rei. she’s still confused by her feelings towards rei, but right now her hatred and insecurity is taking priority. its right after this battle that her synchro rates plummet and she loses the #1 thing she based her life worth on. she then goes out to die in an abandoned building but is eventually retrieved by NERV. I believe that during this time alone, she’s also wallowing in her feelings for rei and coming to terms with a lot of comphet stuff, especially after that psychological attack. right after this the world like ends or whatever but lets forget that for now & extend time cuz the gays need it 🥰 .

rei and asuka at this point realize their feelings in one way or another, and there's a lot of tension in their conversations. asuka is at a very fragile point rn bc of all the stuff that just went on, and rei is unsure how to go about things, half due to their inexperience & half due to their fear of becoming like gendo. however, asuka realizes rei is acting different from before, and advances on them as a way of lashing out. but to her surprise rei is undefiant and actually willingly helpless in her hands. she feels a rush of superiority and is amused by how inexperienced rei is. she also realizes that unlike her previous experiences with men (like when she tried to kiss shinji but didnt want to see, smell, taste, or even feel it & had a mental breakdown afterwards lol ) she actually likes it!? the romantic/sexual affirmation that asuka has always wanted from men like kaji is being fulfilled by rei in a way that asuka feels completely in control & comfortable. she's not forcing herself or being objectified, but rather is taking the lead. this is something she never imagined possible before. and all of this is with rei to boot! the rei that, in asuka's eyes, has always looked down on her and been unobtainable is now melting in her hands like putty. there’s a sense of accomplishment she feels, which makes her want to push rei even more. she finally has authority and to make herself feel better, she takes it out on rei through advances like this. she goes further and further, and in an ironic way, uses intimacy as a form of self-harm. she feels shame and despises herself for doing such things with ill-intent, and with another woman at that. its a toxic relationship that tries to fill the hole in her heart, but only leads to a bigger one forming.

when asuka first advanced onto rei, they felt something unlike anything before. unlike when gendo would often touch their shoulder, rei didnt recoil from asuka's touch. rei also felt something similar to asuka, in that the person who always seemed unbound by anything in now giving them her undivided attention. the fact that this came from an act of anger didnt really bother rei, since they knew from the beginning that was one of the only ways to get asuka to even spare them a glance. rei would gladly become hated if it meant binding asuka to them. in a mix of touch-starvedness & unhealthy dependency on asuka, rei kept looking forward to any interacting with asuka, since it was what really made them feel alive. asuka slowly becomes rei's world and meaning for living, but they eventually realize that causes a great insecurity. asuka is independent and can go anywhere she wants if she feels like it. from rei's pov, asuka desperately wants attention from men, something that rei could never give her. rei's afraid that asuka will leave them, & to tie asuka down they play the role of a villain. rei keeps asuka feeling insecure by becoming what asuka envisioned them as, and slowly starts hacking away at asuka's Achille's heel. rei desperately uses the short time that asuka has given them to engrain themself into her, so much so that asuka would be nothing without them. rei cannot let asuka realize her worth for fear that she would leave them. rei notices that asuka enjoys seeing them helpless and plays the part, almost like a honeytrap. slowly tho I believe that rei starts to take control of the relationship in hopes of making asuka dependent on them.

Asurei is in no way a wholesome relationship, and ik that’s not for everyone.. my vision of a happy end for them would be both of them becoming comfortable in their relationship and finding that the actions they once used to express hatred for themselves and each other is now slowly becoming fueled by love and desire for each other. They form a very unhealthy co-dependence on each other, but for them it works. They cant envision a world without the other in it.

[kkbardd]

happy yuri day !!

[kkbardd]

hi! popping in quickly.

I absolutely adore your artstyle and your ocs. their personalities and stories are always so interesting, and I look forward to seeing any type of art you post.

If you take a break from drawing asurei, that's completely okay!! doing things with joy is more important than just doing them. I will enjoy whatever you draw regardless— in fact, I regularly go back to that drawing of the unnamed pink haired girlfailure OC and her "friend" daily. i am mayhaps their number one fan.

please continue sharing your stories and ideas!! I adore your characters and designs so much. I am very excited for your toxic yuri freeloader/assassin story.. they are very interesting!!

also saw you did some dialogue in japanese.. do you speak it ? im quite interested in any language so.. apologies if this is off topic ><!

In any case, thank you for continuing to create. I love your art and hope you continue to draw what makes you happy and what you feel motivated to do. I love all your art regardless of subject matter!! in fact it convinced me to to start watching madoka magica :}

best wishes !! hope you're well!!

wahhh isopod !! u always send me the nicest asks when i need them most!! i hope ur doing well ~ although my last post sounded pretty depressing im actually doing pretty well too! im going to the aquarium next week w some friends so im looking forward to that more than anything >:D

I've been reading a lot of short yuri stories by Toyo Totan & Iwami Kiyoko lately and I'm excited to use that inspiration to improve some of my own OC stuff too! (I recommend 'Last Summer Vacation' !)

And yes I'm fluent in Japanese !! I'm actually an officer in my college's JP language community & I used to translate manga on the side !! I'm completely self-taught through videos though, so while my listening and speaking are fluent I actually suck at reading LOL I'm so bad that when I translated manga I'd use my camera's text to speech to do everything...

I'm a huge language nerd too! I watch a bunch of scientific videos/TED-Talks on how our brain learns languages and tips to learn things more efficiently! For example, apparently when you first start learning a language you should never try to speak it right off! If you try speaking before listening for a very long time, your brain just kinda solidifies your verbal pronunciation and it can have long-term effects on not only how you sound, but also how you HEAR sounds! This is also why some think that children learn languages better, because they spend a long time exposed to it while being non-verbal. I love this fact bc I kinda experienced it myself!

I spent about 2 years just watching JP translated videos of people speaking naturally (not videos aimed at foreigners, nor shows that have acting, more like vlog-type stuff!) and only started speaking when exposed to others who could speak it too ! Especially during COVID, I think I was pretty much spending ~80% of my day listening and thinking in Japanese so I was very immersed! And because of that, I'm a little famous in my community for having the best pronunciation 😤 Going to on a trip to Japan & translating for the people who went with me also boosted my confidence a lot! I'll never forget this guy at an izakaya who asked how many years I've been living in Osaka LOL ("three days actually!")

I think the biggest downside though is that once u learn another language, ur first language skills get bad.. i often think up half-sentences and sayings/metaphors in Jap that just sound wrong when you try to translate it back into Eng ;;; i sometimes trail off when i speaking because i forget the english word for certain things, but my friends are now just used to my weird metaphors so!

I went on such a long tangent!! But anyways!! Thank u for always sending me the sweetest asks, I always save them to my phone and I'm pretty sure all my friends know abt u bc I always show them the nice things u say 😭!! And yes!!! Madoka is so good, especially the movie so im excited ur gonna watch it!! I hope u like it!

and finally for their #1 fan <3 :

[toxicyuribracket]

We deleted the PearlRose/Cassunzel poll because some of you people do not know how to act and were unnecessarily hostile to other people in the notes as well as the blog itself. I don't know how that poll managed to gather an audience of 30+ year old men who exclusively watch kids shows but I am now shooing you all out with a broom!

To keep a proper number of participants, the winner of AsuRei vs the girls from Devilman Lady (we couldn't find their shipname if someone knows it please enlighten us) will face Anastasia Tension/Fanny Fawnsworth from Dimension 20: Mentopolis, since they were closest to winning the prelims!

That being said, thank you to everyone who has been participating in the polls without getting super weird about it, and remember that this poll is not about hating on ships we don't like! We are here to enjoy toxic yuri, not bash on yuri by calling it toxic.

[kkbardd]

Oh my God I just read all of your asui stuff and even though I never considered this ship before I love it?? Like whenever I watch eva I genuinely don't think about the romantic lives of any of the characters because the themes of loneliness and low self worth speak to me more, but now that I've considered how toxic they can be my brain is on fire??? AAAAHH I CAN FEEL A NEW HYPERFIXATION HELP

AAAAHHH ALL ACCORDING TO PLANNN MWAHAHAHA

I’m so glad my toxic yuri agenda makes sense to ppl tho, it’s actually so fun once u get into it & the possibilities are endless T_T !!

I love ships in media but often times the the characters’ personal arcs are thrown aside to make room for romantic narratives, which makes sense but it still kinda sucks and it can feel a bit OOC at times. Thats why I like asurei so much, because they’re so fundamentally intertwined that you can’t NOT consider it. Since the ship itself is based strongly on their chara development throughout the show, it ends up feeling very real too! Also if you ever wanna do fluff, nge’s whole alt timeline thing is crazy convenient LOL

All in all, asurei 1 - kawoshin 0 . Thank u .

[ourobonez]

I love it here on tumblr because you mention asurei on tiktok? Everyone starts screaming at you about how toxic and evil it is. You say you like it on tumblr? People understand The Toxic Yuri Vision

TRUE TREUE TRUE TRUEE thank god i dont have tiktok anymore . i dont have to be exposed to THAT particular brand of deranged discourse. toxic yuri is SOOO good the tiktokians domt understand our galaxy brains