#As it turns out I've heard too many i dont work here lady stories so LOL ]]

[itsagraywcrld]

"What do you think? Chicken or tuna?"

The supermarket was quiet, somewhere Eloise preferred to shop for that reason. And because the deals were the best in town. Buying for two on a budget was easy that way. She stood there in the aisle beside the cart, looking over a can of tuna in one hand and chicken in the other. They were the same price, but, she was considering if variety would be best.

"Hey, listen!" She flashed a smile as she poked Cody's forehead. She could tell he wasn't listening, probably focused more on the music in his headphones, but this was important for him too, "What do you want?"

Cody lowered the music just enough instead of sliding one headphone off his ear. The store might have been mostly empty, but there were still enough people in there to make him uncomfortable. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the cans she was holding, "What does it matter? They probably taste the same."

Eloise lowered her arms, rolling her eyes, "Tuna it is then," She tossed a few more tuna cans into the cart and walked on ahead, "You haven't told me how school was. Or have you been skipping out again?"

He didn't answer at first, but the slight downwards turn of his lips was enough to tell her he heard that time. Cody had been trying to stay throughout the day, but it wasn't easy when he could hear the whispers in the silence from the other students and the voices of the teachers in adjacent rooms. It was overwhelming, but... There was nothing they could do. Eloise had tried to get them to compromise, but it was a public school. There was only so much that could be done without paying for a private tutor or something.

"It's alright, you don't have to tell me," Eloise nodded to him, nudging his arm gently with hers before looking at the shelves again, searching for something, "But, you know I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Cody took a breath in and just exhaled quietly, "...Can I get those crackers again? Like the last time?"

"Sure. Go get them, I'll be by the milk."

He turned the music back up louder as he walked back down the aisle, looking for where the snacks are. Weaving in and around the people in the aisle was easy, he was used to it after walking on the streets all the time. Most people didn’t even bother giving him a second glance, too preoccupied with whatever they were looking for. 

Down towards the center of the aisle, he spotted where the crackers he liked should have been, but the spot was empty. He craned his head up, trying to look into the back of the shelf for a better look. Pushed all the way back, he spotted a box. Cody smiled to himself as he reached up, pushing up on his tiptoes to get further. His fingers were barely brushing against the edge of it, taking hold of the shelf to pull himself up more. A couple moments passed of strained faces and stretched muscles getting sore before he finally leapt up and grabbed the box. But, as he did, the res of the shelf knocked down onto the floor. 

“Shit,” Cody whispered under his breath. He kept his crackers in one arm as he knelt down to pick up the stuff he knocked down, returning them all neatly to the shelf. Once he was done, he let out a sigh and stood back up, just as he was pulled backwards and his headphones were yanked from his ears. 

The sudden sounds around him were sharp, but not as bad as they could have been. It was just a shock really. Suddenly, he was very aware of a woman beside him speaking very loudly. As Cody turned to look at her, he saw she was the one who took his headphones. Shooting her a weird look, he just went to grab them again, only for her to reel back with them. 

“Hey! I asked you a question!” the woman yelled at Cody, not caring as he flinched at the tone of her voice, “You shouldn’t be listening to music while you’re working anyway. So, do your job!”

Cody was frozen, looking at this woman, still clutching his crackers to his chest. He needed to get away, find Eloise and let her defuse the situation, but he needed his headphones. He knew they were expensive, Eloise had said she emptied her savings to get the best she could afford for him. And besides that, this woman had no right to take what wasn’t hers. Cody shook his head quickly, “I’m... I’m not...” he started.

“Excuse me?” the woman interrupted him, still speaking so loudly that the rest of the aisle was turned to look at her now, “Are you stupid or something? How dare you! I pay your paycheck, so I suggest you do as I say and help me!”

“I said I don’t--”

“I want to speak to your manager then! Since you’re too slow to comprehend what I’m telling you!”

Cody backed against the shelf, the look of fear clear on his face. Frantic, he looked around for some sort of help, but the other customers didn’t seem to know how to react either. One couple seemed to be trying to wave someone down, maybe an employee. But, Cody didn’t bother to notice when he saw Eloise coming around the corner. As soon as he locked eyes with her, she came running over without the cart.

“Cody, there you are,” She said once she reached him, looking him over, “Whats wrong? You look--”

Cody just moved behind her, clinging to her arm as the woman stepped closer to Eloise now, “Are you a manager or something?”

Eloise gave the woman a weird look, “What? No, I’m his mother-- Hey, why do you have his headphones?” she narrowed her eyes now, holding her hand out, “Give them back.”

The woman just sneered, “He can have them back when he helps me like I’ve been trying to ask him to.”

“Help you with what? He doesn’t work here and you’re just scaring him.”

“Scaring him?” The woman gave a hard laugh, “So he’s slow and he’s wimpy. If you raised him that way then I feel sorry for you.”

“Excuse me, bitch?” Eloise stepped closer to the woman, “How dare you talk about my son like that. Maybe if you opened your fucking eyes and cleaned out your ears you’d understand that he’s NOT slow and he DOESN’T work here,” she snapped at her as she snatched the headphones back, getting right in the woman’s face, “Now I suggest you back the fuck off before I press charges on you for harassment.”

The woman stepped back, giving a huff before she turned to walk off, going to complain to one of the managers. Eloise turned back to Cody, placing the headphones back gently over his ears. She frowned, keeping her hands on either side of his head.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, gentle but loud enough he could hear. Cody didn’t speak, but just nodded a few times, though he kept clung to her arm. Eloise just pulled him close to her, laying his head on her shoulder, “Come on, let’s get our stuff and get out of here. Did you want anything else?”

“...Ice cream?” Cody’s voice was quiet, muffled against her shirt, but she could still hear it.

Eloise just smiled, “Ice cream then. Lets go find some.”

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[youngmistressofchopchop]

I did it. Now I dont write, I draw so this is not gonna be so good. Its been through many revisions and I realized I spelt "Yuseke" as "Yueske the entire time so forgive me ill fix that next chapter. My Kuwabara x oc story:

It was finally cold again. Miyoko was overjoyed, she had never liked summer. Sure there was no school and she had more time with friends, but she couldn't stand the heat. She detested those sweaty nights, or how the bugs always bothered her, actually she didnt care for any part of summer.

Miyoko had dropped so many hints over the years and yet somehow, Kuwabara still had no clue. His air-headed-ness was cute, but it made things difficult for the shy girl Miyoko was. She just couldn't work up the nerve to say something, and when she did, something would always interrupt her. However, today she planned to change that! Miyoko got dressed up as cozy as she could, ready for what her and her friends had planned and with a gleam of excitement in her eyes, she headed out the door. 

 That was apart from going to see her crush, Kazuma Kuwabara's baseball games, he would play every summer. When they were younger, he played in an official team wearing his "Mötor Head" jersey and smoking every opposing team he played against. Miyoko never missed a single game! Every home run, every strike, and every fight that broke out because of a bad call, she was there. When they got older, she would be there to watch him play against his friends, still wearing that jersey. She was always supportive of him, she was madly in love with him, and had been for awhile.

"Urameshi!! Where do you think you're going?? I was talking to you!" Kuwabara's feet hit the sidewalk with force as he sprinted after Yueske, who had walked only a few feet, forcing Kuwabara to stop abruptly frantically trying to steady himself without falling. After regaining balance, Kuwabara grabed a fists full of his friend's jacket to pull him close aggressively. 

"D-Dont tell anyone! Or I'll break your mouth, so you cant tell anyone nothin' ever again!!" Kuwabara's face was as red as the setting sun. Unfazed, Yuseke stared at Kuwabara blankly for a short second before sighing and shrugging the big flustered fool off of him. 

"Listen man, I wont say anything. But this is getting really annoying. Ive told you before that you should just go through with it. Whats your problem with admitting to her anyways?" Yuseke looked to the helpless man and immediately regretted asking. Kuwabara looked off dramatically twords the orange and red sky. His shoulders slouched, slumping over, and fiddling with his hands. 

"I....Shes really pretty, ya know? And...Im well...ya know?" His voice trailed off, as if wanting reassurance he was being foolish. When there was no reply, Kuwabara peeked up with a quivering bottom lip. 

Yueske stood with his hands in his pocket saying nothing, only wearing a furrowed brow and tight lips. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Causing Kuwabara to stand up straight and look at him even more embarrassed, and ready to punch him.

"I never thought I'd hear the great Kuwabara, warrior of love, admit to being ugly!!" Mocked Yueske. He bent over shaking his head and slapping his leg, resting his other elbow on his knee and laughing loudly. He straightened and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Kuwabara gasped in shock. 

"What?? Ugly??" Again Kuwabara grabbed at his friend, this time missing and falling. He quickly got up and held up a threatening fists. 

"Im not ugly!! Im just not a romantic type!!" He rubbed his fists on his chest. 

"I am a warrior of love, so I know how to treat a lady and how to talks to girls, I just....." He paused, his mouth moving like hes trying to remember how talking works. "She's different!!" He finaly blurted out. "She reads them girly romance books that Kurama likes!!" With a frustrated grunt, Kuwabara rubbed his neck nervously and spoke in a much more serious tone.

"Ive known her a real long time, and I cant tell her yet cuz I'm kinda worried she only thinks of me like how Shizuru thinks of me." Yueske picked up on the seriousness of the situation and scoffed trying to lighten things up again. 

"Well you are ugly, but I think she likes you anyway. Besides man, why asks me? You think I read them werid books?" Yueske pat Kuwabara awkwardly on the shoulder. 

"No way. I asked cuz you have a girlfriend!!" Kuwabara turned to look at Yueske who was moving his arm away. 

"So? Doesnt mean I know what im doing, just asks Keiko." The boys laugh, seeming to have calmed down a great deal. Before much more could be said, four familiar and approaching voices could be heard chatting playfully. 

"Oh dear, you didnt actually take me seriously did you, Miyoko?" Botan said in a teasing tone. 

"I did!! I'm gullible, you cant just tell me anything about spirit world.I will believe it!! Everytime!" The two girls laughed. 

"I've noticed," Interjected Kurama. "You have managed to retained alot of attributes from your childhood haven't you? I find that interesting." Kurama continud, wrapping an arm around Botan. 

"Alot of people say that...is that a bad thing? I'm not immature am I?" Miyoko felt nervous now. Maybe that was the why Kuwabara never seemed to return her feelings, perhaps she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

Keiko quickly spouted, "No no! I don't think he meant it like that, I think it's cute!" Keiko put a reassuring arm around Miyoko and smiled a friendly smile. 

"Ofcourse! Its an admirable trait." Kurama said as Botan giggled. 

Botan wagged her finger and pointed it at Miyoko with a knowing smile "Im on to you! You shouldn't feel so insecure!" Botan pulled her arm back and used it to hug Kurama's arm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you're simply nervous, so you're being extra critical of yourself, but you'll do fine!" Botan hummed encouragingly. "And, we all look fantastic!" Botan added as they all rounded the corner.

Keiko stopped dead in her tracks, and started tapping her foot. "Well, most of us are...Yueske! I thought I told you to dress up!!" Keiko pouted, walking over to her boyfriend's side. 

Yueske was the most casually dressed out of all of them. Just wearing his usual faded blue jeans, black converse shoes, plain yellow shirt and favorite green and yellow windbreaker jacket. He looked even more underdressed standing next to Keiko. She was wearing a lovely pale pink turtleneck, a plum purple suspender skirt reaching to her knees, long white socks, and loafers to match her skirt. Despite their contrasting attire, they somehow matched perfectly. 

Yueske wrapped his arm around Keiko's shoulder and smirked."Kuwabara isnt dressed up." He looked over to Kuwabara and nodded his way while jutting his thumb twords his friend. 

"What!! I am too!! This is the nicest thing I got!! Other than like...a tux or something!!" Kuwabara wore a blue Letterman jacket, a red sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown dress boots laced in black, he was indeed dressed up quite nicely. Miyoko blushed at the sight of his clothing, he cleaned up nicely as always. She couldn't help but smile at him, it was always a slight surprise to see him out of his school uniform. Kuwabara had a simular reaction to Miyoko's choice of clothing. She dawned a wine red A-line dress, knitted black leggins, and shin high beige lace up boots. She wasn't one to dress up like this, but she wanted to tonight, it was a special night after all. 

Trying to redirect the situation and prevent Yueske and Kuwabara from fighting, Botan chimed in. "Well, I never have to worry about Kurama when it comesto presentation! Unless ofcourse, he's overdressed and making me look a fool!" Kurama and Botan giggled to eachother looking the most put together, like they were the parents of the group. Tonight, everyone was going their part to help Miyoko's odds, evident by Botan, who was wearing something much different from her usual choice of clothing.

She modelled a white turtle neck dress, form fitting reaching just above her knees with a small slit on the right side, with sleeves that reached slightly past her palms, she wore her wedding ring, hoop earings, beige velvet tights, and blue slip on flats to top off the look. To match her, Kurama dressed just as nice. Wearing a white button up tucked neatly into his dark brown pants, red suspenders with red suede shoes laced in black, and a matching wool trench coat to top complete it all. Now everyone felt underdressed. 

"So what are we doing anyway?" Yueske asked scratching his cheek. Keiko shook her head "Are you serious? You've been waiting around this long, and you dont even know why??" Yueske simpled shrugged "I guess?" 

Botan sighed looking tired, Yueske was a handful for everyone. "Dont you remember, Yueske? I told you this morning! We're all having dinner!" 

Botan motioned to the brick building everyone was standing next to. "You've been standing right next to the restaurant! Where I told you we would be meeting up, seriously! You didn't connect the dots?" Botan tilted her head with a hopeless look. Yueske gritted his teeth and roughly pulled Keiko by her hip to his, talking through his teeth. "Whatever!!" He sighed and let go of Keiko fixed his hair flustered, he brought his fists down onto his palm talking loudly. "So now that we're all here, can we go?? Im starving and you guys took all damn evening to get here!"

Keiko lightly kicked his shoe pouting up at him. "Hush!! Its not our fault you dont listen, besides you didnt even try to dress nice! So I dont feel sorry for you." Yuseke quickly stepped aside and raised his voice a bit "Hey! Didnt ya hear me?? I didn't know what was going on!!" Keiko roughly poked her boyfriend's chest, "Again, not our problem! Listen and you wouldn't have to worry!!" 

Kurama was the first to put a stop to the bickering. He took a wide step twords the brick building and grabbed the glass doors handle, he opened the door and motioned for everyone fallow him inside.

So theres that. I'll write more soon. I hope its as fun to read as it was fun to write.

[alice-is-in-wonderland]

Okay, so @thomas-newtie-gangster tagged me in an alternate questionnaire

Pets-- Yes, 2 cats and 3 kittens (oof, I know I'm a cat-lady, but the 3 kittens are my Dad's the older 2 are mine, but I dont live with them all year unfortunately because of school)

Most Frequently Quoted Vine: Oh man, all of them. My 3 quad-mates all only talk in vines (seriously). However, it's probably between "Two bros, vhillin in a hot tub, 5 feet apart coz theyre not gay" OR "Dis bitch empty, YEET"

Most Daring Thing You've Ever Done: Oh man. Um. I've slept on this suspension bridge (yes, it sways with every little fucking movement and it's hella uncomfortable)

(pic credit to google, but I know that it was this particular fucking bridge)

Least Favorite Movie: It's a tie between Idiocracy (fuck this movie I LOST ALL OF MY GODDAMN BRAIN CELLS WATCHING IT IN FILM CLASS) and James Cameron's Avatar, the one with the blue people? OH. MY. GOD. I HATE THIS MOVIE. It's so fucking boring. I never fall asleep during movies, except this one.

Favorite American Actor(s): Oh wow this is hard. Josh Hutcherson (I've lived this man since Journey to the Center of the Earth 1, okay??? My grandma met his mom, man). I WOULD DIE FOR JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT THANK YOU. Jared Padalecki. Chris Pratt. Steve Carell. Orlando Bloom. Ben Stiller. Johnny Depp. Chris Pine. Mark Wahlberg. Matt Damon. *off-pitch screech:* DOES MARK FISCHBACH COUNT

Favorite American Actress(es): FIRST AND FUCKING FOREMOST-- Carrie Fisher (no, I'm still not okay. She was my childhood hero and crush). Anna Faris (she's so funny and cute and I love her, especially in What's Your Number) Susan Sarandon (jesus I want to be this woman), Jennifer Aniston (she's fucking gorgeous and talented!). Kim Rhodes (she is my swearing Disney mom and I love her). Leslie Mann (shes adorable, I loved her in Blockers and The Other Woman)

Favourite British Actor(s): Thomas Brodie-Sangster (this is obvious, I love him and have since Love, Actually), Collin Firth (MR. DARCY!!!), Allan Rickman (I'm not crying, shut up). Skandar Keynes (SO WHAT CHILDHOOD CRUSH, SHOOOOOSH). Hugh Grant (basically he had my heart in that scene in Love, Actually where he dances). JUST BASCIALLY THE ENTIRE CAST OF LOVE, ACTUALLY. Kit Harrington (JON FUCKING SNOW, PEOPLE).

Favourite British Actress(es): Helen Mirren, [Dame] Judy Dench, Julie Andrews, Maggie Smith, Imelda Staunton (her in the tv show Cranford is just perfect), Natalie Dormer (FUUUUUCK I AM GAY FOR HER)

Favorite Actor(s)/Actress(es) From Elsewhere: Gal Gadot from Israel (oh my god she is a fucking goddess of strength and beauty and kindness). Liam Neeson from Ireland (jesus after I learned the full story behind his performance in Love, Actually [shut up about that movie, Cas] I understood how well he did that role, like... holy shit).

Longest Time Gone Without Sleep: I got really fucking close to 5 days straight on a dare. Almost. Don't do it, kids. You start hearing and seeing things.

Worst Food You've Ever Eaten: I got food poisoning from undercooked chicken at a rock concert once. But taste-wise is MAYO. I HATE IT.

Earliest Memory: Okay, this is gonna get a tad bit depressing. So I remember watching 9/11 on tv with my grandma in the dark (my grandma turned the lights off out of respect) in the morning. I remember seeing the buildings smoking on the small little screen and my grandma holding my hand and crying. I didnt know what it was at the time (shit i probably thought it was a movie).

Favorite Pizza Topping: Look, I work at a pizza place. Half of my pizza is pepperoni and mushroom, the other half is bacon and pineapple [you like it or you dont, but man it's my pizza. You dont like it? Okay, cool, that's your thing. I dont understand why this is such a big deal].

Dumbest Thing You've Seen/Heard/Had Happen To You At School: Too many. There's... jesus theres just too many in just high school alone. But here's a story instead: Once, in high school, I was in a class I was a TA for, sitting on the counter while the class took a test, so it was dead silent. And my mom texted me something that was so fucking funny (I tried so hard not to laugh but I couldn't help it, I basically exploded), I fell off the counter laughing and excused myself into the hallways just to explode into laughter. OR The time my new teacher got our entire class to troll one student. So this kid (let's call him Slacker) would come in late every day (or, every day that he actually decided to show up) with McDonald's (it was the first class of the day) and he would ALWAYS miss test days. So one day that was supposed to be a test day, Slacker didnt show up, and our teacher (this man was a fucking LEGEND) was like "if you see Slacker, tell him we took the test today, but we're actually gonna take it tomorrow" and we did. So the next day, Slacker walked in 15 mins late, McDs in hand, and we all just kinda smirked at him and we took the test and damn he was PISSED. But sometimes he would show up for school, but instead of coming into class he would wander the halls, singing hella off-key and super loud. And we all knew it was him, too because security would chase him when he sang too loud and they found him. It was great. Except our last names were similar so everyone always thought we were twin brother and sister, because even though we looked alike, we were completely different. No. If he was my brother, I would've put his ass up for adoption a long time ago.

Okay, that was longer than I thought it would be. I tag @iamyourbloodydealer @sadsoapart @endless-shipper-shipping-things :)

[badhebie]

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

[03-07-2021] Return to the city, which I have left for several years. Bandung. A town I love, which never fails to impress me. The city always has something new around every corner.

Made an appointment to Meet an 'old friend' that I never seen or talking for many years. After talking with shitty and unnecessary chitchat then we moved to an old Kopitiam around Sudirman Street that still amazed me until now.

After many years passed, this old Kopitiam still impress me. The building, the wall arts, the decorations, the ambience, the lighting, even the people coming here still same as in the past. Many old guys and old ladies coming here only for playing capsa, chess or mahjong showdown while enjoying some Coffee or Tea with some Dimsum. They just playing happily with each other. They seems dont care that now already quite late at night. What a moments.. Reminiscing!

After feeling mesmerized, we order some of their Signature Coffee and some Dumplings. I'm shocked to know that their tastes of Coffee is consistency and never change! That's cool!

Because of nowadays I'm enjoying writting about anything, then I tell my friend that I will record all of our chitchat and conversation into an mp3 recording file. So I could make the convo's transcript to fill in into my blog :))

t r a n s c r i p t :

Me : This Kopitiam kinda reminds me about the old times that we always coming here for almost every week with our friends..

P : Ya Ya Ya.. indeed! It is not every week! But twice a week, hahaha..

It's been long story we talking about anything until I tell her about my problems.. she looks kinda shock hearing it all and seems not believe for what happening to me right now.

Yes I told her about my family's matters..

P : Oh.. ( I can see her eyes pouring some tears )

I cannot believe why you have to be an asshole by cheating to your wife? Do you know that what you have done is so heartless and hurts your wife so much? Oh ibie!! I really cannot believe what you have done!! really.. fucking asshole! (I can see some rage on her eyes!)

Me : Well, things happens! My life is fucked. And I really fully regrets! I dont know how to fix this.. Yes I know I have done something terrible.. But at that time, I feels like i lost controls to myself and everything. And at that time I feels like I dont understand myself too..

P : You dont need to make excuse for youself! Wrong is wrong.. You have no reasons to do all this fucking things!

Me : Yes I know.. and I admit that I was an asshole for doing this.. and now i really regretfully for what happened to my family..

at that time, I feels like sometimes my wife didnt love me and sometimes I feels like she never respect me.. I dont know this is only my feeling or my reasons, but yes sometimes i feels like that..

Maybe because Im an overthinker person, thats why that time I lost control to myself and doing all this bad things. But after that i feel regret.. really sad and sorry..

P : Whatever your reasons, bie! What you've done is unacceptable.. Oh I really speechless to you! fuck!

Then, have you apologize to your wife and ask for forgiveness from her? Have you explain everything to her? Are you really feel sorry now?

Me : Yes I do! As a man, I do apologize and ask for forgiveness from her. I even kneel to her to forgive me and give me chance. I dont know how to fix this.. I dont know how to make her forgive me and give me last chance and trust me again that I will never ever doing very bad mistakes again and broke her trust again.

P : Then? Did she forgive you?

Me : No, She is not. She said she cannot give me chance for now and ask me to clear my self out of problems.. at first I was so excited that I thought she is willing to give me chance. I'm doing my best effort to fix everything, I do my best to bring back her trust on me. Until one day I realized that she's only play with my guilt and probably just want to revenge to me. After knowing that, I feels numb and thinking that all my efforts was nothing. What am I trying to fix was meaningless.. Then its time I have stopped all my efforts to fix everything and stop expecting. I feel bad.. really bad!

P : Huh? What do you mean? I dont get it. Why dont you continue to fix with her? Show your fully efforts to brings her back!! Its all your fault then you have to fix!

Me : Yes, at first I will show her my fully effort and Im willing to do anything to fix all of this. Then one day I realized that she was looking for another guys or maybe now she probably having a relationship with someone else already. That day I realized that all she said by saying will give me chance after I clear myself out was only a joke, its fake and just an empty hope!

Can you imagine, if she said will give me chance but in reality she was in relationship with another guy? Then I have to fix what? I have to keep fighting to fix everything when she has already have relationship with another guy? It's unacceptable for me! If she said she will give me chance, she have to wait and look at my progress, she have to let me work my best and wait me until I clear myself out, but what she did is having another relationship with someone else! Then what she said will giving me chance was a fake and its all lie! Am I right? Thats why I'm stopped all of this!

P : Huh? Wait.. wait! I miss something here. So, she said she will give you chance but you have to fix yourself first BUT in reality, she was having relationship with another guy already? So, what I got here is she probably waiting you for fixing yourself but while waiting she has another relationship with someone else? She is having relationship while waiting you?

Me : YES! Exactly! I'm not sure she's already in relationship or still looking for another guy.. but this is so heartless and unacceptable for me! Why dont she just said NO MORE CHANCE for me instead of saying will giving me chance but having another relationship with someone else or looking for someone else? Its does not make sense!

P : If this is the case, then yes.. actually what she have to do is just saying directly to you that NO CHANCES for you. I dont understand her as well.. why she said she will give you chance after you clear yourself out but she is having or looking relationship with someone else.. Haha im curious about it! Well, then its your rights to stop or to keep fighting for her! But I understand you, you will feel hurt when you keep fighting for her while she was having relationship with someone else. Well, my advice is just follow your heart! But if the case is like this, you better pull yourself out of this situation and keep walking.. At least you already did your job, feels regret, apologizing, ask for forgiveness and trying your best to fix everything, eventhough in the end it didn't go as you pleased, but at least you tried. You did a great job, bie!

Me : Yes! I take my punishment already by cannot see and touch my son. As a man, I admit my big mistakes to her already! I feels fully regret already. I ask for forgiveness already, I promise to her that I will never ever doing bad mistakes and broke her trust anymore, I doing everything already to regain her trust! But she wasting all my efforts! She is playing with my feeling by saying will give me chance after I cleared myself out! She gave me fake and empty hope. So i pull myself out and stopped! At least if someday Mica grown up, I can tell him what I did. I can tell Mica that his dad already trying to fix everything but his mom is wasting my efforts and playing with me. So im gonna give up..

*She looks confused, sad, and crying..*

P : Do you still love your wife after what you have done?

Me : Yes I do. I love her with all my heart.. It will and always! I've been fully regret with what I did to her. If I could turn back the time, even it cost my life, then I would.. GIving up didnt means I didnt love her, I just feel tired hurt myself as well.. and I feeling hurts when my efforts wasn't appreciated. Been there, done that! But I will always love her with all my heart and I keep saying sorry to her in my heart and my prays..

P : Im sure you were really miss Mica and your wife.. I can see from your eyes.. it looks empty! You miss them so bad.. (*she looks crying again)

Me : I miss my son for every second of my life.. I never felt this way, missing someone til my heart aches! It really hurt deep inside.. Almost every night Im crying missing my son. What I could do only looking at Mica's photos on my gallery.. No father in this world who is strong enough to bear the pain of missing his child. Its really unbearable for me..

P : Do you try to call Mica everyday? You can video call to him to heal your wound.. Or ask his mom to video call to you everyday if posisble. Or ask her to send Mica's picture for you at least once a day.. Im sure it will not bother her at all

Me : Yes, I do ask her already to send me Mica's picture as much as she can.. but you know what, Pao? I think she trying to separate me with Mica as well..

P : HAH ??!! What do you mean??

Me : Yes, you heard it right! I think she trying to separate me and Mica as well.. Do you know why? I ask her many times already to send Mica's pic as much as she can.. and she said YES, she will try to send Mica's pic as much as she can. But again, in reality she was fake again.. she only send like every 4 or 5 days or even 1 WEEK and only send 1 photos or videos. Do you think its called "AS MUCH AS SHE CAN" ? send pic every 4-5 days and only 1 ? After waiting for every 4-5 days I only got 1 pic or 1 short video.. She can HATE ME as much as she want but she have no rights to separate innocent child to his father, right??? Yes you are RIGHT! Even 1 photo per day it will not bother her at all.. But she just dont want! But she probably busy looking and impress some guys out there instead of sending me some of my Son's photos that I always wait like forever.. sending some pic's everyday not wasting even 1 minutes of her time. But this is about WANT or DONT WANT!

P : WHAATTTT?! REALLY?? Sorry bie.. but in my opinion, no matter how bad the father, every childs in this world is have FULLY RIGHTS to know his/her father! If she doing that, she is FORCEFULLY take Mica's RIGHTS to know you as his father.. she is doing a bad parenting system! How heartless she was.. She take Mica's rights as innocent child to know his father. Well, somehow I feel bad for you bie. You are right, She can hate you as much as she wanted to, but she have NO RIGHTS to force Mica to not to know his father.. Oh my God! Somehow, I got your point when before you said you have your own reason by doing some bad mistakes to her.. Well, I dont know but I got the point somehow! Its only you can feel it.. But it doesnt mean you were right! You are still WRONG by doing the FUCKING BAD THINGS! But I know at least you did a great job by fully regret it, apologizing, and trying to fix with her, even in the end she wasn't appreciate you, at least you try.. a gentleman's job! Standing ovation for you bie..!

P : . . . .

P : As a man and as a normal human being, its OK for you to make mistakes. Learn from it, take lessons from it, and promise for you life that you will never ever do it again. Even you ever failed as a man and as a husband to your loved ones, Im sure that you have fully regret now. But you never failed as a Daddy! Im sure you were being a Super Daddy for Mica! And Im sure, Mica is super love you and proud to you as his Father! You will be a good Dad for him, Im sure of that bie..!

Me : Bad Parenting Systems? Probably yes.. She is forcefully take Mica's right to know me as his father.. Well, if someday Mica grows up, I hope Mica didnt grown up with rage and questioning where is his Dad! Because He will understand when he grows up.. And someday I hope I could explain everything to him what was happened.. At least I have tried everything and its gonna be my reasons to Mica..

P : I feel sad for you bie.. Keep strong and be patients! God will never sleep.. If you feel fully regret and promise to never ever doing bad mistakes again for your life, im sure God will always listens to you and helps you.. keep believe it! Im Buddhist too like her.. so Im sure we belief about Karma. You get your bad Karma already by doing bad on the past. And if she is proven trying to separate Mica from his Daddy, Im sure too she will get Karma too for what she did.. For now you better stand up and keep walking for your life. And love yourself more than before.. Last time we met you look so fat than now.. Now you look losing weight! Remember you have to keep healthy.. Overthinking will make you sicks! Try to forgive yourself.. Try to accept yourself back.. Try to love yourself again.. What's DONE is DONE! you cannot turn back the time, but you can fix it and make it better.. But first forgive yourself and love yourself, so you can stand up and walking again.

Me : Yes I try to walks again.. and now I almost can running again hahaha! But the pain is still unbearable for me for missing my Son every second of my life.. it hurts so much for missing him!

If you were her, would you like to give me second chance for me to fix it? I just want to know from other people's perspective..

P : HAH? If I were her? You mean if this bad things happens to me? Hmmm.. Well, If I was her and this is happened to me, for sure I will very angry, mad, and sad as much as she did, or maybe more than she did. But after that I will heal myself first and think clearly for what I should do. But in my opinion, every people DESERVE a second chance! Especially if we have childs already. For sure in the end I will give you a second chance and let you prove yourself that you will never ever doing bad things again and broke my trust. Because for me second chance is LAST CHANCE! So if this happened again, NO MORE CHANCES for you for your life! But yeahh.. for me every people deserve a second chance! Especially when I see you were really regrets and I can see your efforts to fix everything! Its for me.. But every people's have different minds, so my opinion cannot be used as a standard! But for sure If I were her and I already said I will give you chance, then I would really give you chance and see you progress first.. I will waiting how much you can show and prove yourself to fix and be a better person than before! But for sure I will not looking for other guys while waiting HAHAHAHA.. because I will be honest and pure from heart when I said i will giving you chance.. No FAKE FAKE woyyy! Hahaha..

Me : Here we comes the sarcastic moments, hahaha... But thank you for your perspectives! I hope she could do as you said,, but yeah every people is different!

P : Then dont be too worry bie.. I hope she could opened her heart soon and not thinking only about herself, but about Mica as well.. Mica is still really too little for this! He needs both his Mummy and Daddy on his side. Dont let innocent child be victims from the selfishness of their parents.

Me : Well, I dont know about that.. I feel too tired and almost fully giving up..

P : You can rest a while bie.. And I know for now you were busy and tired with your business hahaha.. congrats anyway! Dont give up bie! Move forward!! I will joins and helps your business.. your coffee bottle is super yummy and your cornflakes is good, especially the peppersalt one! I like it.. No one's here using cornflakes as snacks, thats why I think it looks promising business.. Just dont give up and keep walking! Thats my note! Dont feeling down when sometimes your business is going down.. You need to have a strong mentality build when you working on personal business. Up and down on personal business is normal..

Me : Hahaha thanks! Yes it starting to grows.. I will working hard for it! Woyyy of course its good, it has secret recipes from starbucks hahaha.. Yes yes you have to helps me extent and expand my selling hahaha.. just kidding, Pao! But thank you, you boosted up my mood haha..

P : YEEESSSSSS!!! hahaha sure I will helps you as much as I can, dont worry! haha.. And I will promote it anywhere haha.. soon you will need to open mini factory, hahaha Ameeenn!!!

And dont worry, when I said AS MUCH AS I CAN, I will do and act in real, not only words or FAKE!! hahahahahahaha..

*we both laugh hard on this*

Me : LOL hahaha.. Here we comes again for another sarcastic moments, Hahahah! But Ameeennnn!! Thanks, Pao! I feel lightly after I confess to you all my stories.. wish me better and better OK?

P : Sure!!! Im sure you can..!

The time has passed, It's been 02:50am already. Then I sent her home and I back home as well. Thanks for listening to my vent, Pao! What a day!! Ready to work again tomorrow ^_^