#And then Kim explains his family and chay is like u don't get to be mad at me for doing illegal shit when

[vani-ash]

Kim and Chay are dating. Chay doesn't know about the mafia, but they're happy and everything is peaceful, Kim had never felt so happy before being with Chay. Everything felt so easy, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Chay about his background.

One day, Porsche and Chay find out Porsche has a heart condition, and they can't afford his surgery or medication. With Porsche so weak, he can't work anymore, so it all falls onto Chay.

So Chay starts pushing Kim away, not wanting to get Kim into trouble or danger and taking illegal jobs to pay for the surgery and medication. Chay is hurting himself every time he tells Kim he doesn't want to be together anymore.

But he refuses to tell Kim the reason why, knowing that Kim would do everything he could like giving Chay money, which Chay couldn't bring himself to accept, to try and help.

Kim is hurt that chay would push him away but he ultimately feels that if this is what Chay really wants he would never try to cage him or force Chay to be with him when he's been keeping secrets from Chay the whole time.

During one of his duties of watching over a drug deal, he sees chay is the one dropping off the drugs.

(Kim is just in the back making sure everything goes right he's not in Chays' line of sight.)

[snickerdoodlles]

📖 for kinnporsche the series? your ideas are just so good!

thank u nonny!! 😭❣

this one took me a while to type because it is my weird whacky fic child who i love very dearly but struggle to explain. so, uh.

✨ Necromancy AU ✨

Big dies in the warehouse. Porsche gets Arm to get his body out, gets Kinn to delay the cremation, and gets Chay to reanimate Big.

(because reanimating the dead is just something Chay can do, because he figured it'd be a good skill to learn and he's my most specialest boy.)

Kinn (who's at the morgue for Porsche) is flabbergasted, Khun (who's at the morgue by a miracle) is stunned silent, and Kim (who's here because Khun texted him but didn't say Chay would be here) is more shocked by Big than Chay's abilities.

(Kim is the only person other than Porsche to just accept necromancy as A Reasonable Thing For Chay To Know. this is why they're Chay's favorites.)

anyways so Big is now awake and surrounded by this family. this is hell. not just for him, his sudden undead status is causing a lot of problems:

Porsche just had Chay bring Big back, he didn't like...tell anyone what was happening or make a plan for what to do with him.

Kinn just figured out his new guard roster, and now he has to redo it to accommodate one very grumpy and very loyal Big who now doesn't need trivial things like sleep or food.

there's the looming specter of Khun's upcoming dry cleaning bill because he won't. stop. poking. Big.

Big is trying very, very, very hard to ignore that not only do people know he knew about Porsche and Kinn, but that he loves Kinn so much he died protecting Porsche.

speaking of, Porsche just thanked him for saving Chay and (in a quieter voice) for saving him.

Big is in hell.

despite all that, Big's plans for his new life are to just go back to being Kinn's perfect guard. he is ignoring the awkwardness, none of this is fine, none of this will be fine, but it will be NORMAL.

this is hampered by the fact that whoops, turns out the undead need to hang around their "masters" for at least a few hours every couple of days to "recharge" so to speak, as discovered by Pol when he screamed so loud he set a fire alarm off because he stumbled over Big's body face down in front of Kinn's door at 2am.

this is even further hampered by Korn, who will absolutely not stand for his preferred heir being guarded by someone who might be more loyal to someone other than him. Korn uses the "recharge" issue to force Big out by way of making him Chay's permanent guard.

so now Big, the perfect bodyguard who only got better at his job in death, is now stuck hanging around a high schooler who doesn't get into trouble and just wants to make music with his bitchy boyfriend.

(because oh yeah, mr. the untamed nerd Kim is obviously ridiculously into Chay being able to resurrect the dead and leaks feelings before he can run away and sabotages all future attempts to ghost Chay (insert necromancer joke here). Kim's fears of love and hurting those he loves will cause different problems.)

anyways, Big is suffering. not only is he stuck guarding Porsche's baby brother (who! he's realizing he likes as a person! will the horrors never cease!), Chay keeps being nice and thoughtful and looking out for him as a person and asking after his happiness and shit (the horrors!! are not ceasing!!!!). when Big finally has enough of all this Being Treated Like A Human Being business and asks Chay why he even cares, Chay blurts out "Big, do you even want to be alive?"

because this has been eating at Chay ever since he brought Big back at the morgue. because he never knew Big and never asked if he'd want to be alive again, Chay just did it for Porsche, who wasn't doing it for Big but for his own guilt. and then Big's old life was like an ill-fitting glove, because he and Porsche can't be bitches with Big's sacrifice hanging over them but don't know how to act when they aren't being bitches, Korn won't accept him back because he only sees his own paranoia and none of Big's loyalty, and Kinn might appreciate Big's loyalty but he won't fight for it either, not when he's trying to juggle the rest of Korn's messes coming to fruition. Big's been completely forced out of his old life and any ties he might've kept to the other guards (as few as they were) are ruined by the others' guilt and discomfort, because Big might not have died in the first place if literally anyone had listened to him during the Tawan debacle, which they could ignore when he was dead but can't when he's alive and there in front of them.

and the whole confession draws Big up short because no one's ever asked him what he wants before. Big was just the son of a mafia enforcer who got scooped up young by the main family as a personal guard for Kinn. Big's never even considered that what he wants could be an option. even when he first came back, his main considerations were on the ways he was a better guard for Kinn. Big's chosen more things for himself in his weeks with Chay than he has in his life, and he never stopped to think how he feels about that.

he does now. kinda. this is Big after all. but after both forty-three excruciating minutes and three days, Big finally answers Chay, "i never lived for me before. it's...nice." Chay, who's gotten quite good at reading between the lines after all the exposure from Kim and Big, beams and makes him help him pick his electives for his first semester of university, because Chay's determined to help Big find a hobby and he's overcome far tougher things than emotional constipation.

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

Bonus

small scene snippet from shortly after Big's first brought back to life, right after Kim's walked into screaming, stolen Pol's gun, and shoved Chay behind him for protection, because i love themm

Kim opens and closes his mouth silently before sputtering, “But you— I heard— What…?!”

Chay worms his arms around Kim’s waist to get his attention and his head pops over Kim’s shoulder. “It’s okay, phi,” he says soothingly, “I brought him back.”

Big gets an eye full of Kim’s face flashing through four emotions he recognizes and thirty he doesn’t, which is thirty-four more emotions than Big can deal with. Kim twists around in Chay’s hold, just enough to squint at him from the corner of his eye without letting Big out of his gun’s sight line. 

“You know how to resurrect the dead?”

Chay drops his chin onto Kim’s shoulder with a huff. “Why do people keep asking me that? It seemed like a useful skill to know!”

“Obviously,” Kim scoffs, which is the first original response Big’s heard to that all day. “I meant you can do it? What, we’re you bored and just googled ‘how to make a zombie’ one day after school?!”

Chay rolls his eyes and pokes the undersides of Kim’s ribs. Shockingly, Kim pushes further into his hold, rather than away. “Don’t be silly. You have to be trained by a shaman to make a zombie.”

Kim actually turns to look at him dead on. His gun is still trained on Big. 

Chay cocks his head to the side. “What? I just googled ‘how to bring back the dead’ and went from there. It’s basically CPR!”

“That worked?”

Chay looks genuinely baffled. “Why wouldn’t it?”

Kim stares at him incredulously before suddenly going boneless in Chay’s hold, squishing him back against the wall. Chay does not protest being squished between Kim and a hard place. He actually looks delighted by it. Big would like to go throw up now. He doesn’t know if corpses can do that, but he’s willing to make an effort. 

“Of course it works, you’re you,” Kim grumbles. He knocks his head against Chay’s and rubs in a move so cute Big will throw up, death be damned. “If life worked for me like that...”

Chay beams and pats his stomach. “I’ll teach you!”

Turns out corpses can't throw up, but they can gag so hard they choke.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Liveblogging notes for ep 11.

Sorry shippers, I gotta click the fast-forward a few times here, hope I don't miss any important bits. Did by sheer coincidence pause on "no legacy is so rich as honesty." Interesting.

Gun straight in with a clearly practiced right to the jaw. What a lovely family dynamic. Pete's like I am being tortured in a whole other way now, fun!

Gun doesn't want Porsche hurt...? This is the most we've seen of Gun all season, and his overt violence is a sharp contrast to Korn. Pete obviously isn't supposed to leave that room alive even before the gun is handed over, and he is side-eyeing Gun so fucking hard ah, I think I see the root of the problem here.

Vegas arranging for Pete to have "vacation" is certainly A Thing. Grandma appears to have total knowledge of Pete's job situation. Vegas is so wonderfully awful, as in I am in awe of how this character is constructed. The camera angles are constantly shifting and off-kilter in this scene.

Kinn actually checked up, too. Interesting. Trying to be a better boss these days? And he wants to let Porsche leave like Chay wants. This is the most relaxed outfit we've seen him in since the date, too. Korn looks way more distressed about this development than he did about getting Ken's head delivered in a gift box; Khun has Opinions. Kinn, you set yourself up for this, but well done with the declaration. Khun is so fucking delighted for his little brother.

OMG everybody listening in at the door. Discipline has gone straight to hell around here since Porsche joined. Arm is the best. Chan why is your gun drawn wtf.

Longest. Pause. Ever.

So there's like 5,000 rules in this place but none about fraternization?

Porsche is not sure this is a good thing. That's smart of him. All of his friends are cute though.

Interesting what they did with the lighting here to establish visual continuity with the minor house dungeon. Ah, the (in)famous hedgehog. Bizarre pet choice.

Porsche what? The number of times now that I have watched a scene in the show and said, "I thought that post about this was a JOKE" is fairly high now.

Back to Kim, still on the trail, trying to figure out who killed Porsche's parents, thinking that they are a link that might explain why his dad is so invested in this guy. We learn here that Porsche's parents had money and the details of the accident have been redacted.

Chay's got a new thousand-yard stare since the kidnapping. Poor kid. So much money and y'all don't have any therapists on staff. Real talk going on here, about time. (My chess theory, Chay is Porsche's king piece. He's in Korn's house now, danger zone.) And Porsche you've almost gotten killed like six times in this job, what is this bullshit.

On the one hand, Chay has a good point. Anything happens to Porsche, wtf is going to happen to Chay now? On the other hand, Porsche has been forced to be parent and provider and everything to his brother for most of his life. Any parenting book will tell you that parents need to keep something in reserve for themselves; Porsche deserves his own life and his love.

A choice looms. With Porsche's reply, this is the first time the narrative has raised the possibility of a third way, a solution that doesn't leave anyone out.

And skip right to Vegas and Pete for the thematic emphasis: "Do you think you can choose?" "I'm not choosing." Yet another lens on the issue -- what happens to choice if you reject the validity of the paradigm? If one of the options isn't a choice at all? Shit's getting deep in this goofball show.

So let's switch to domesticity and Kinn's friends being menaces. (Didn't Kinn used to sleep with a gun?) Porsche is so not used to any of this, but you gotta love how they're basically married already. I'm glad he has Yok looking out for him.

Aaaand back to Gun winning "father of the year" wow. "Childhood's End" huh real subtle choice show. Gun you do realize he's gonna fucking kill you one of these days?

Love every second of Khun winning hearts and UH-OH I was wondering when this was going to drop. Chay's little world has just ended. (Maybe you would feel differently if you had seen how amazing he looked coming to your rescue? No, I suppose not.)

Vegas you're lucky he isn't dead already wtf do you usually not play with your toys this long.

Forgot to mention this earlier but I really love the jewelry choices for all the characters.

Never failing to make everything AS WEIRD AS POSSIBLE love you Vegas. This scene is hella compelling though. Bonding with your torturer over a shared history of child abuse, check.

Wow Kim, that was ice cold. (Also WTF are you doing there? Thought you never visited.) You broke Chay. You heartless bastard.

We seem to be bringing the city views into more and more focus with these two? Honestly it's such a relief when things go well for a character.

WTF Gun do you stop by every day just to beat your son and then leave? This is getting even weirder. So Pete's going to try staying alive to see what happens? I'm more than a little surprised that they decided to make Vegas a reader. Just doesn't seem like he'd have the patience.

Kim still working and annoyed enough about all the dead ends that he's started throwing his family name at the problem. So it was Korn who had the accident hushed up. Doesn't it suck when you're right about something.