#And sometimes there isn't intent but things can exist on accident too and it's important to acknowledge that because just because something

[shiroselia]

Also to put some context straight because I realise I might make it sound like Alex's writing Right Now is bad. It's not, it's been bad since Elizabeth's death.

It's not gross only because of the real world circumstances. Alex's writing is bad disregarding how the real world looks right now because turning your own character into a meme one-liner machine as soon as she's served her narrative high point in the story is just bad writing all around. (Not to say that she didn't have one-liners before but after Elizabeth's death it's been her Only narrative purpose.) And Alex being the (in-game context here, this is not true for Helena's canon where Anne has a broken family and Lisa is queer too, but I'm not giving SSE credit for what Helena has built and neither should you, because they're separate canons) only queer rep, working class rep, and character with an (actually shown) broken family dynamic makes everything about her flanderization gross no matter what. It reads incredibly fucking gross no matter what. Because it's really fucking interesting how SSE is so hellbent on turning their very (and only) marginalized character with some very real struggles into a fucking joke. The fact that we're currently in an economical recession and that SSE had the perfect opportunity to show a working class character having a very real struggle many young people (and also adults) face of hating their job and struggling with a system not made for them and also hates you and wants you to continue in your misery that often isn't your fault is just salt on the wound. (Which is another point, Alex is VERY easy to read as neurodivergent and the questline, as I've gotten informed, has some Really unfortunate "yikes you think Differently and not like everyone else?" dialogue that is already tired and unnecessary but is extra Yikes when you remember this.)

Alex's writing is bad because SSE refuse to treat her as a character, it's just even worse when you look at the real life circumstances.

Alex should not only be a character when certain people write her. Alex should not only be well-written when she's written by people who relate to her. She should be well-written all the time because some standard sense of character consistency is WRITING BASICS.

As I've been saying, calling it tone deaf doesn't even begin to cover it, but it is being nice about it.

[genderqueerdykes]

hai!! im looking 4 some advice ..

i'm an intersex trans woman. however, due to life experiences, genderweird fuckery, & DID, sometimes i feel like a trans man. but at the same time i feel like my manhood is through the lense of my womanhood if that makes sense? the closest ive gotten to describing it is "transfemmasc trans guy/butch". but also i have a hard time figuring out how to let these two sides of me "co-exist"; i worry that people will choose 'one' of me over the other. so i guess i'm asking how i can let my womanhood and femininity coexist with my manhood and masculinity without neglecting either of them due to social pressure. thank u :)

good question, thanks for asking!

it's good to remind one's self that masculinity and femininity don't cancel each other out, nor do manhood and womanhood, so fortunately, they can exist alongside one another without invalidating each other. when it comes to certain people, when you're trans, they'll find a way to misgender you no matter how you identify. and sometimes, strangers will misgender us on accident with no ill intent regardless of how we try to present, how many pronoun pins we wear, and so on

it's important to be addressed properly by others, but generally i say focus on building an environment where you feel comfortable with these things first and foremost. even if it's just when you are at home, if you're able to validate your feelings and identity on your own, it helps so that you may not need as much of that from others. people close to you should be talked to to make sure they're addressing you properly, and if they choose not to, that's on them

every person on this earth has a completely unique experience with gender and identity, so it's natural that it will be difficult for others to completely understand our identities, especially when they are unique to our situations, like having DID, being intersex, and so on. you are going to have an extremely unique experience with gender, and it's alright to explore it how you see fit. how others think and feel about it isn't important, that's important is you finding ways to present and be referred to that make you feel the most like yourself

i hope that makes sense! take care, best of luck. it can be very hard being an intersex trans woman at times, but you're not alone. i am an intersex trans woman too, and i have DID as well. it can be hard to navigate these things but we have to take them one step at a time. gender can certainly be confusing when it comes to plurality, that's for sure! let us know if you have any more questions

[swordalt]

From the perspective of Wilbur

Zoom in to read I'm supposed to be on break I'm not going through the extra effort

Bitting hurts why, why would you want to hurt your partner?

So first of all I understand Shelby's pain and I fully support her talking about her feelings.

However I know that discussion has began around the idea of bitting or causing pain to someone you love, statments such as:

"oh how could you think that someone likes being bitten?"

"how could you think that someone enjoys being in pain?"

"how can you think somebody enjoys being hurt?"

Listen it's grey area, for example I bite as a love language my sister also bites as a love language.

its meant to be playful and I may sound like Wilbur right now but stay with me, let me explain.

Think of when you're playing with a cat, they bite you. they don't always intend to hurt you but they do sometimes hurt you.

I had a lot of cats growing up I love cats to this day, a lot of the times when I'm playing with cats they sink their teeth in me, hard.

They're not actually trying to hurt me, they we're just playing around,They don't know what bites you can handle.

Cats much rather starch you in they don't want you around them.

That's where the mentality lies, biting is a playful way of saying I see you, I acknowledge your presence, I love you .

Now my sister bites hard, really hard. It's not her intention I know that for a fact, I have a Strong pain tolerance, so while I might complain I'm not actually hurt, I appreciate that she acknowledge my presence.

We're not a touchy family, my sister doesn't like being hugged, I don't like being touched we don't talk to each other a lot.

So she may bite and I may complain but it's fine, I'm not emotional hurt by it, I can handle the pain, so while her teeth are sharp, she's like a cat to me.

Now in the Sexual Sense

BDSM IS A THING, this is where the safe words coming to play.

Quick explaination here and I'm going to try to be as family friendly about this as possible; some people enjoy being hurt while other people enjoy causing pain.

However, you don't want to cause pain to someone who doesn't enjoy said pain, if your masochist you're natural gonna want to date a sadist, and visa vida.

BDSM isn't about abusing people and getting away with it, its about finding pleasure it normally unpleasurable things.

The important thing here is limits. I will say it is highly frowned upon in the BDSM community when someone is known to push partners to say the safeword because the truth is when it comes to BDSM is you're supposed to have healthy communication.

The safe word itself doesn't exist just for you to get them to say, the safe word exists in case you go too far by accident.

it's not the goal, it's the referi. so if what Shelby is saying is correct and Wilbur had pushed her consistently to say the safe word then absolutely he is participating in this act incorrectly.

But as someone awear of BDSM, and awear everyone has vary pain tolerance I can understand the perspective Wilbur present which is he didn't Intent to hurt her against her consent.

And yes wanting to leave burses on a person does play into BDSM not to make this completely sexual but some people even like having knives cut into them.

So if we give Wilbur's statement any credit, I'd have to acknowledge that some people really do enjoy being burses beaten and bit into.

I generally hate to say this but a lot of this sounds like there was no communication in the sexual part of the relationship.

Which in the case of Shelby's statments would mean Wilbur has little self-control, yet activitly takes part in BDSM.

In the sense of the emotional abuse (gaslighting, mistreating, love bombing etc) he acknowledges he was a shitty person in the past and that he's not proud of these actions.

Now I've already seen people saying that Wilbur is making it about himself when all he did was defend himself.

Guys I think we should have learned the lesson by now that when someone comes out and explains theirself or defend themself we shouldn't immediately attack them.

It's not always black and white sometimes it can be grey and listening to this whole video as someone who doesn't actively watch Wilbur and likes his songs more than anything, this entire thing sounds grey.

Whether or not you believe him is up to you but I heavily disagree with the notion that any attempt to defend yourself or to tell your side of the story is inherently wrong, especially when they're serious claims of the domestic violence!

And yes I am fully aware that they are people out there that are saying that he is manipulative. I've seenall seen the tweet from Bilzo an Freddy and Tubbo's and Ranboo lives .

Still if you want to do something about it, if you believe the calms made and want to support Shubly, do that without a cancel party.