#And say 'yeah I'm just really exhausted here's how I've felt for the past 15 years'

[wholockiantabs]

I Don't Know

So...this is going to be a thing for me to come back to. If you follow me on this hellsite, feel free to ignore this, it's literally just gonna be me ranting for a hot minute.

I've been burnt out...and I want to say 'recently' but truthfully I've been burnt out for years. Like, at least 10, maybe 15. I am exhausted all the time and while some days are better...it's honestly because I can just mask better on those days. Maybe I get some kind of serotonin from something, but most days I'm just...here.

So I'm gonna write this dumb thing at 1:30pm at the library because if I don't get my emotions out in some way, I'm gonna cry at work. And truthfully, this isn't even gonna focus on the stuff happening in the world right now because most of my inner turmoil is from the stuff going on in my personal life.

So I saw a thing once where a mother was describing how your life is basically just juggling balls of responsibility and some are plastic and some are glass. The ones that are plastic you can let drop because it won't be the end of the world if you don't do it, but you can't drop the glass ones. It's a pretty good way to visualize how you need to prioritize things, because if you spend too long trying to keep the plastic balls in the air too, you'll eventually burn out and everything will drop. I like this, and it makes sense.

So here's how I picture my brain:

Imagine you have a computer with 1TB of storage for responsibilities. You cannot load any more memory into that thing if you tried, and doing so will short circuit the whole thing and cause a complete system failure. And I have 1.5TB worth of storage that I need to use. I've already cut down on the less important stuff, and I'm left at 1.5TB. I have to figure out what to prioritize, because I literally can't cut out anything else. So I cut out things that I don't "need" right this minute: Basic healthcare necessities, taking care of myself in any real meaningful way, dropping potential hobbies because I literally don't have the bandwidth to learn anything more, not reading/writing/watching anything new because I cannot emotionally process anything else at this moment in time. And even after all of that...I'm running 1TB of responsibilities all day, every day, with no rest.

My computer will crash, I know it will, but I literally have no other choice.

I take care of my mum who has memory issues, and I need to remember everything. All the time. Every day. What medicine does she take? How much? How often? What interacts with what? Putting in refill requests and making sure to remember to pick it up. Getting in prior auths when I need to. Remembering when doctor's appointments are coming up. Remembering which one it is, what location we're going to, what time it's at, and what we have to tell them. Remembering her vitals so I can tell when they're off since they run low. Making sure it's either on my one WFH day or I take PTO that day if I need to.

And that's just doctor's stuff. Then I have the daily things that everyone needs to remember. When did I last clean the kitchen/living room/bathroom/bedroom? Do I need to take out the trash? Or run the dish washer? Did I make sure to pay the bills that come out of this paycheck? Did I take my medicine today? Do I need puppy pads? Dog food? Dog treats? When was the last time I went shopping? Do I need soap, shampoo, toothpaste?

I don't get a mental break. That's just a tiny snippet of what I deal with every day. It's non-stop thinking, and my ADHD is not helping. Because I can remember things, but when my mum asks me to do seven other things, or to remember four other things for later...I literally just can't. And even when I tell her it's too much and to stop...she forgets. And it's medical, she can't help it, I get that. But christ almightly I am so fucking tired. I am so, so exhausted mentally.

I also get the fun bonus of having to deal with shit I shouldn't. Did you know I once accidentally left my medicine out in the living room (in a bottle marked with my name) but because it looks similar to what my mum takes, she just thought it was hers and never checked. After taking it for like a week, when I realized it was mine...I got yelled at...for having the audacity to leave my medicine out in the living room where I live. Like...how am I supposed to live when I'm constantly worried about doing something wrong and getting yelled at? Whether it's true or not, I feel as though I'm never allowed to make mistakes. That I "should have known better" when in reality, I probably just forgot about it like any other normal human being.

And then we're trying to buy and house and holy FUCK I hate it. I hate it so much. I want to scream and cry and punch something hard until I can't move anymore. It's nothing but stress, and since it's my income and my fucked up credit that we're using...everything is basically all on me. The paperwork, the calling, the emails, the forms, the looking around at different options...I'm so tired of it. I hate it. I hate it so goddamn fucking much.

I also just realized I didn't talk about my job at all, and while it's a nice job that pays me decently, that also takes up brain space because it's accounting and administration. I NEED to remember shit and keep things in line or I WILL be the one hearing about it.

Maybe I'll just show this to my therapist or something, I don't know, but I'm so tired. I wake up at 6am for work at 8am, and then I'm done at 4pm and get home around 5:30pm. Then I have to run errands if needed, and then I'm home. But even then...I just want to not talk for awhile. And I love my mum, and I get that she loves to talk with people and doesn't get that as much...but I don't. I just want to be unbothered for like 1 solid hour after work. But no. I don't get that, or it happens rarely. And some days are worse where she'll drop things and I'll need to help clean up or put things back together, and I just...I literally can't express how fucking tired I am.

And I don't have anyone to help me. Not in any meaningful way. Unless we paid someone to remember all the fucking shit I have to remember each and every day...I can't see this getting any better. I don't think I can "mental health" my way out of severe burnout when it seems like my life is just not condusive to this. (Like, this is one of the many reasons I don't want kids, I cannot take care of another person without hurting myself in the process. I am just not equipped for it)

And it sucks when people at work say things like "Oh, you're so mature and strong!" "You're wonderful to taking care of your mum like that!" "You're so responsible!" Meanwhile I'm out here drowning and I want to scream that I'm not doing well and that I just want to walk into the woods and just cease to exist. Everyone always asks how my mum is doing, but no one ever asks me how I'm doing, or if they do I don't think they want me trauma-dumping on them at 9am, so I just say "I'm okay." Because what else can I do?

I'm just numb. I wake up, go to work, come home, and I maybe scroll Tumblr or Facebook for an hour or two before I go to sleep. Video games don't seem fun to me, even when I try to start playing them, it just...feels like nothing. I haven't written anything in months because I just don't have the mental energy, and I've lost any joy I used to get from it. Sleep is literally the only time I get to myself, where I only have to worry about me. Honestly, we have a puppy that I love, but when my mum passes and he does, I don't want another animal for a long while. I'm exhausted taking care of anything that isn't myself. I don't even remember what it felt like to just wake up and be content. Not even happy really, just...anything that isn't anger, sadness, or just being numb.

And any time I get a basic question, my answer is "I don't know" because I literally am too exhausted. I have decision fatigue and I literally just don't know anymore. I don't care.

[pinkslaystation]

[Part 3] If I meant something to you.

toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Here's Part 1 and Part 2 hehehe enjoy ;> Word Count: 5k trigger warning: drugging. viewer discretion is adviced.

Dating Simon reminded you of the British economy, constant fluctuations.

He would stay over at your flat, shower you with wet kisses, and the next day he'd walk right past you as if you didn't exist.

It felt like at times Simon did really love you. He listened you to, he brushed and plaited your hair post sex, but sometimes it's like his brain would switch and his behaviour would mimic that of a ghost.

Though it been nearly 3 months since he'd popped that question in the car, you often found yourself regretting your decision.

"I do like him...but I mean- it's just, he doesn't like me back you know? Sometimes I wake up and he's just staring at me like I've just told him I've killed his dog. I mean, he doesn't have a dog I don't think, but if he did, he'd prefer the dog over me, y'know.

I don't even know why I said yes that day. I mean, he's the first real guy that's actually shown interest in me. Maybe that's why I crave his attention so much. He makes me actually enjoy being with my family, if that's so hard to believ-"

"With all due disrespect, d'ya know you?" Your neighbour answers finally.

You stare back, blood rushing to your face, "I literally live next door to you. I smile at you before I leave for work every morning-"

"So, there's nothing wrong with your face?

"What? You know me- and I'm talking about Simon, he's next door to me too..."

"What?"

"You know skull face..."

"Who?"

"Tall buff dude, y'know."

"Huh?

"Riley-"

"Oh, the guy with the big dick."

You choke on your saliva, "What- How? Um..."

"Military dude yeah? The fit blonde? Yeah, he's big, if you get what I'm saying, virgin."

You furrow your eyebrows, words trailing off, "No I'm not...I'm sorry, how'd you know..."

"Yeah, he's fucked like everyone in this building, girl. Why d'ya think he doesn't come to the flat meetings? 'Cos then he'd be surrounded by all the people he's stuck his dick in, duh." She states like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Guy comes in, drinks a bit, and runs out."

"...I thought it was because he was nervous to see....me?" At this point, you don't know if you're telling your neighbour or asking her.

"Oh girl don't be delusional, you ain't no Beyonce. Anyway, been a while since I got that dick. Let 'im know next time you see 'im." She winks at you before, hobbling off with her walking stick.

"Yeah...sure...wait- Mrs Brenda, you're like 65... AND MARRIED-"

When the 3rd month anniversary mark finally reached, Simon decided to treat you to an expensive meal at a luxurious restaurant.

And by that I mean, 6 McNuggets at Maccies.

"They're cold, babe." He complains, slouching across you, one leg bent and propped on his seat.

Yes, Simon. Because you spent 15 minutes arguing with the worker for an extra packet of mayo. But you refrained yourself from saying that, in case you'd anger him further.

"So how's the task force?"

You've learnt very little about Simon, one part that stuck out to you was that the people he was closest to was his team in the military, naming his Captain John Price, who seemed to pop up in every conversation the two of you had.

"You got that 'lil mustache on yer face again."

"Excuse me?"

"Nah babe, it's cute. Reminds me of Captain's."

It hurt even more when he showed you a picture of John Price and you're face to face with a middle aged man with a full grown beard, who's being compared to the peach fuzz on your upper lip.

"Team's good." He sighs out of exhaustion. "Soap's engaged now, y'know."

You smile, mind suddenly racing to the thought of Simon proposing to you, but you shake it away, oddly cringing at the thought.

"'Old man's thinking of getting transferred to the States. Finally..."

The thought of Simon being jealous over his Captain was always a hidden theory for you. He'd mention it so frequently, it was as if he was keeping tabs on his superior, bringing it up at every moment at his signs of weakness. And when he'd compare Price to you, it was never in a positive light, rather one where it felt like he was looking down at Price, but through you.

You wondered if Simon had a superiority complex, and maybe that's why he'd chosen a little naive lamb like you, to project all of his insecurities onto you.

I mean, you're not gonna do anything about it are you? Nah, you're gonna take it like the good little girl you are.

I mean you are right now- literally.

His dick is cramped right in your pussy, his rounded tip rapidly kissing at your cervix. His chapped lips crash against yours, but you can't seem to ignore the faint taste of his Big Mac through his mouth.

"Can tell your cunt likes that, 'lil slut." He seethes out, through inconsistent breaths. You can barely hear him, through the sound of your sweaty bodies colliding and the ringing through your head.

You hum uncomfortably. It was gonna be a long night.

The following weekend, you find yourself spending eons getting dolled up for a get together at the base. You decorated your face with a bold smokey eye, paired with a lined red lip, only to be mocked by Simon.

"Red? We're going to base, not the circus."

So you take off the lipstick. And the eye makeup. In fact, even when you changed from a tight black pencil skirt to a matching sweatshirt and joggers combination, you still find yourself being berated by Simon.

"Getting kinda lazy with the clothes huh, love?" He asks, cocking his eyebrows towards you.

Is he for real?

Grunting in response, you look out the window, shoving your headphones in, grateful for the noise cancelling feature so you wouldn't have to sit through Simon's mouth breathing throughout the journey.

The meeting itself was as awkward as imagined. The moment the pair of you entered the room, Simon decided to detach his arm wrapped around your shoulder and immediately brisk walk to the nearest woman possible. If he was trying to fool his team to thinking he was single...boy was he good at it.

Being left out in an unfamiliar space was unfortunately not too foreign for you, and you quickly found solace by the water fountain, sipping on a plastic cup of lukewarm water.

"Bored, eh?"

You jump, having zoned out.

You turn to a man you've seen oh so many times on Simon's phone.

"Captain John Price?" You smile.

"The one and only, lass. My, a pair of sweatpants. Priorising comfort, are we?" He jokes, lightly.

"Were you expecting lingerie?"

"Pretty either way." He chuckles, and you eye the way his eyes squint as he smiles, and the smile lines painting his cheeks. You shouldn't be looking at your boyfriend's competition captain this way.

You're at peace with John. You find yourself opening up about yourself, something you now know you couldn't truly do around Simon. John cared about what you said, reacting to every joke you dropped here and there, unlike Simon, who plays connect the dots with your forehead blemishes as you rant passionately.

John chuckles, "Oh God. Work sounds intense."

You hum, admiring his laughter, which cuts off to the sound of a loud buzzing (buttplug?) coming from his back pocket. He excuses himself from the conversation, but you can't help but eavesdrop.

"John Price speaking. Yes. Uh huh-what? Another soldier? Same substance? Christ's sake...Doctor's got a name? Succiny- Succinylc- what? Okay, okay. I'm coming, gimme 20 minutes-what, now? I'm...busy" He turns to flash you a small smile, "Okay, fine. Dammit."

"You okay, seemed urgent?"

He dramatically sighs, "We both got work problems...There's been a...how do i say this...another one of our soldiers have been getting drugged?" It sounds more of a question than an answer, "We think it's some sort of new drug on the black market, and now that our enemy's have a hold of it, our soldiers...fuck, getting drugged left, right and centr- Sorry, um, unauthorized information..." He trails off, realising he's said too much.

You're ears perk up, "Drugs? What are the um, symptoms?" You can't help but be curious.

John looks around, as if to check if anyone was listening to the conversation, though most people are hammered on hardcore liquor and cigarettes. He lowers his voice, "Starts off with headaches, nausea, then there's seizures...worst case scenario is paralysis. Gotten 4 of our soldiers already, poor men, had to be medically dismissed...."

You hum, silently and unsure of what to reply with. If you were attempting to flirt with John, the mood had definitely dissipated.

"But hey, listen. You ever need a change of pace, a better job, you can call me." He grabs your hand, and messily writes his phone number with a biro, winking before he leaves.

Maybe you will call him.

As the sky becomes darker and the clock strikes past 9 P.M., you find yourself walking outside the building, searching for Simon.

"...annoying."

Huh? You peer over the corner to overhear the conversation. Was that Simon?

"..follows me around a sad 'lil shit."

Was he talking about you?

You catch a quick glance, confirming that it was indeed a drunk Simon, with who you believe was Soap.

"Her mum's hotter, too. All over me." Simon boasts, whipping out his phone, presumably to show them a picture of your mother, as it sparks a 'milf alert' comment from Soap.

"...nothing compared to her. She's like a doormat."

You look at Simon, and for a second, you swear he made deliberate eye contact with you.

"She's fuckin' spineless."

For a moment, time pauses.

...

Spineless.

You're spineless.

I mean, it may be true. But the truth doesn't always have to come out, no?

After doing so much for this man, you'e still...spineless?

Laying at the comfort of your bed, dragging a tipsy Simon out of the car and him rushing to his flat, you find yourself gazing down at the smudged ink on your palm. Maybe it's time to switch your job.

Who knows who you'll run into...

That night, you rest, dreaming about John Price.

You're in an abyss in your dreams, John's pale muscular arms wrap around your frame, with the faint scent of cigars and whisky wafting around your nose. You blink and you see the bottom of his groomed beard, and small smile resting on his tired face.

You blink once more. But this time, you don't see John Price. This time, you're staring into the sullen eyes of a skeleton-masked man, lifelessly staring straight at you with no emotion. You look down the body of Simon.

The lower half of his body was missing.

By the third blink, you jolt awake and look around, but this time you're on the floor wrapped in your quilt and covered in sweat. Very much alone.

What was this dream trying to tell you?

The jump from retail to cyber-operations was large and challenging. You went from serving customers to quite literally serving the country, from scanning items to defending the weapon's system. But 2 weeks into your new career and you feel like you've actually put your degree to some use.

Your family have been ringing you almost weekly, asking about your new position, although it's mainly your mother interrogating you about Simon.

And to say he was upset with your choice of working with the army, was an understatement, in his words, he felt like you were crowding him in all areas of his life. His home, his workplace, and now his mind.

You'd ask him to drop you off, considering he's going the same way, but he'd come up with unjustified excuses.

"Can't. Need to be there early."

"Nah, gonna distract me, love."

"Can't be seen with you." He mutters the last one, but you're not deaf and Simon can't exactly whisper very well. Sometimes you wonder why you haven't broken up with him.

So you've resorted to the next option.

Public transport. Calling John Price.

"You're not a burden, sweetheart. Who's been tellin' you that?"

You subordinate <3 But you can't say that, so you resort to casually laughing at his question. You can't help but think about the reoccurring dream you've been having, they always start the same.

You're in a abyss, and you're in the arms of John Price, you blink and suddenly face to face with the half-corpse of Simon. You're struggling to work out the deeper message of the visio-

"Love, you there? Went to lala-land or something?"

Think about John Price. Focus on him, why are you still bound to that jerk? You think.

"I'm good. So uh, how's the situation with you? And the um...drugs thing?" You look at him, your words surprising yourself, since when did you have an interest in drugs?

"Oh, uh. We're not allowed to disclose that sweetheart...besides, Simon didn't tell you? Kinda big thing here..."

Of course, Simon wouldn't tell me, why would he? You tell me, John.

You give him your best puppy dog eyes, eyebrows knitting together, "Oh..."

He runs his thick fingers through his brunette hair, adjusting himself in his seat, "Succinylcholine. There's a mixture, but that's the main component. Causes paralysis to the legs and spine...seems like that's what they wanted, to paralyse our soldiers, 7th victim this we..."

Paralysis huh. You turn to look at the passing trees outside the windows. Paralysis to the spine and legs...

By the time you reach work, you're at your computer by your desk, typing away at the lines of code on your programme, once again eavesdropping to the conversations in your vicinity.

"...it's the same location they keep getting deployed, why are they getting deployed there again?"

"Captain Price is going this time..."

"...2nd guy's in a coma now..."

The chatter dies down to the loud slam of the door: Your supervisor.

"People. Come on. Chop chop, we have deadlines to meet. Stop the chatter, fucks sake."

You get back to your screen, but you can't help but shake the unsettling feeling off your mind.

Ding!

11:26 A.M. Si:- Come outside on your break. Need to talk.

I guess you're finally breaking up.

"Getting deployed."

Simon's scarred hands caress yours, gently lifting your ring finger and slotting a shiny silver ring, with a skull stuck in the center. You think back to the times where you told Simon that you preferred gold jewelry over silver, since it complimented your skin tone better. To love is to be seen I guess.

A crowd of soldiers begin whistling at the scene, and Simon retracts his hands almost instantaneously.

"Wanted to give this to you for anniversary...but I ordered it a little late."

You hum, immediately twisting the ring around your ring. It's tight and cramped.

"How's work?" He asks, his eyes roaming around the people behind you, his gaze not falling on you once since the conversation had started.

"Oh it's goo-"

"Cool. So um, here's my key if you need something." He hands you his key, more like shoving it into your chest, before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead and running off towards the crowd of soldiers that were now practicing drills.

Seems like you've gotten promoted from girlfriend to house-keeper.

By 8 P.M., you and a handful of your colleagues began to go home.

With your 4th cup of caffeine in your hand, you check Simon's text once more.

7:52 P.M. Si:- What time u finish Si:- 8? Si:- Too long to wait, going home

He couldn't wait 8 minutes?

As you trudge past the empty hallway, you're met face to face with the door of the lab, which you notice was half open.

You felt like a character in Alice in Wonderland. Trespassing is a crime, is it not?

A normal person would just inform a staff member and go home right? Definitely wouldn't enter the room. And definitely wouldn't head straight towards the counter that held various labelled test tubes.

Definitely wouldn't snatch a test tube labelled danger, and most definitely stuff it in their bag and run out the door, as if they haven't basically committed a crime.

But it's a good thing you wouldn't consider yourself a normal person.

The wind blows against your skin when you finally make it outside, and it feels like natures punishing you for breaking into the army's laboratory. With your bag clutched tightly against your chest, your mind begins racing - what if someone saw you? What about cameras? What if-

"There you are love. Thought I'd have to come 'n get you myself."

John leans against his range rover, wrapping his large military jacket around your shoulders, and you instantly lean into his towering frame.

"John...didn't you go home?"

He shakes his head. "Saw Simon speeding off the moment we finished, thought you needed a ride, especially at this time."

The wind blows against you again, and your smile falters, remembering the contents of your bag.

"Can we go home now? Please?"

A comforting silence accompanied the drive, with John's palm ghosting your thigh ever so slightly and you had to resist every urge in your body to just lock hands with him.

So you do.

His large hand encompassing yours completely. If his grin could widen anymore, they just did, and you swear you could see faint dimples decorating his cheeks.

But they fall just as quickly, jerking his hand back.

"Nice ring."

You're visibly confused, eyes dragging back to the tight skull band wrapped around your ring finger.

Fuck you, Simon.

When you exit John's car at the entrance of the block of flats, your eyes catch another deep brown pair of menacing eyes, standing at the balcony, hiding behind a black balaclava. You can't see the lower portion of the face, but you'd bet your life that there was a smirk hidden behind the cloth.

You grit your teeth, tossing the ring by the nearest bush as the car drives off. The grip around your bag tightens, and you remember the test tube.

If you're going to ruin my chances of love, I'll ruin your chances of life, Simon Riley.

A week later and the test tube lay aimlessly on your bedside time, alongside a small post card gifted yesterday from your truly. John Price, that is, not Simon.

Leaving soon - If I find something you like, I'll bring it for you :-D - J Price

Even the way he drew his little smiley faces warmed you.

On the other hand, Simon had shot you a single text, ignoring all the spelling mistakes.

Si:- bee home ina mont. by.

When he gets home, you're immediately breaking up with him, assigning yourself mental homework.

But for the meanwhile, you have to decide what to do with the test tube...for now you decide it's too risky to keep it at home, who knows if the wrong people get their hands on it.

So you opt to shoving into deep into your purse.

At work, as you walk back to your team's common room, you hear the commotion coming from the...laboratory?

"Doctor, how careless are you?"

"Sir...I-I-I didn't do anything! The lab was locked, I don't know who would have taken it-"

"And how are we sure you haven't stolen it? I mean for all we know, you might have the drug at home. How do we know you're a traitor and working for the other side. I should have you reported."

"Boss, you've known me for the longest! And why don't you stop shouting me and get these cameras fixed already-"

"Captain Price's gonna flip and fire his entire team when he comes back-"

"If he comes back that is-"

"Boy if you don't shut your mout-"

Scurrying to the common room, you shut the door abruptly. You don't why you stole the drug, but you do know you can't let anyone find out about what you did.

Not Simon.

Not John.

A month had nearly gone by, and a train of gifts has began coming, from small affirmation notes to bags of lego flower bouquets and teddy bears. All of course, accompanied by a small note with the signature smiley face :-D.

Considering the notes weren't hand written, you couldn't tell whether it was from Simon or John, though it was quite obvious. Even though you liked John, you couldn't help but feel some sort of sorrow towards Simon. I mean, who else does he have apart from you?

On a dark Friday evening while you and your team were getting ready to leave, the sound of shouting followed by stampede coursed through the hallway. Screams of terror broke from whom you made out to be doctors and nurses.

"What's happening?" You turn to your coworker.

"More people have gotten drugged, like 7 this time..."

You couldn't help but feel a wave of guilt washing over you, considering a sample of the weapon of the crime was quite literally concealed with your belongings.

"Oh -"

"Apparently, Captain Price and Liutentant Riley were involved."

That was enough to strike a nerve. You don't know which name hit you harder, but before your colleague could even stop you, you began sprinting down the hallway towards the hospital rooms.

By the time you reach though, it's already too late, and the doors have shut, the nurse informing you that surgeries have already begun undergoing. But for who, they didn't disclose.

It didn't matter who it was, you just had a reoccurring thought that if maybe you had left the sample alone, maybe a curve could have already been developed.

Oh God, this is your fault isn't it....?

A person's going to die in your hands, and you're not even a soldier.

With discomfort running through your nerves, you sit by the hospital rooms, your hands feeling heavy under the weight of your head, waiting to hear more from the nurses. But as they rush in and out of the room with urgency, your voice gradually drowns out by the monotonous beeping of the machines inside.

4 hours go by, and you can't tell if it from the lack of sleep or not, but the staff around you shoot you looks of pity as if you're in critical condition. Those hours in the waiting room felt like hell, and you couldn't help but notice the lack security in the building. No cameras again, huh?

"Nurse, is John Price in there?" You ask wearily, the strain in your voice was evident.

The nurse shakes her head, "It's Lieutenant Riley."

Your breath hitches, and unfortunately you can't help but a slight feeling of relief.

"Is he okay? Was he...drugged?"

The nurse clenches her jaw, "That information can't be disclos-"

"He's my boyfriend." You urge, standing up to meet the nurse eye to eye.

The palpable tension in the air was uncomfortable and pervasive, hanging over the room like a heavy fog, and the nurse eventually breaks, slowly opening the door to what looked like a corpse.

"No traces of the drugs were found in his body, but there's no way to really say in the early stages...He is displaying some symptoms however..." She reads off a clipboard.

You nod, though her words aren't really getting to your head, "Like...paralysis?" There's no movement from the bed, just the constant ringing from the machines.

The nurse pauses, "No. Headaches, and muscle pain, just the regular. Bullet shot in the shoulder, but that's been taken care off. We're still monitoring him. I'll be outside if you need anything." With that she leaves, shutting the door behind you. And you find yourself alone with Simon's corpse.

Simon's face looks like broken china, like fine art but damaged externally, yet still holding the essence of its beauty within. His features, usually composed and serene, now bore the cracks of strain and worry. His under eyes were now darker than ever, and you couldn't help but press your now tear soaked lips across his rough cheek, until you stopped.

His neck, though scarred, bore scattered red marks, which you know could be confused with a rash. But it wasn't.

They were hickies.

Fresh hickies.

It's been a month since you've last seen Simon, so you immediately rule out yourself, disregarding the fact that you haven't even been intimate with anyone in a while.

As you sit beside the bed, a surge of anger rises within you, fueled by the betrayal and disappointment coursing through your veins. You want nothing more than to confront Simon, to unleash a torrent of accusatory questions upon him, but you know it would be futile.

His chest rises and falls gently, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within you.

The situations looks like that particular scene straight from your dreams. Dark room, alone with Simon, him laying there still.

His body is still intact, you think. Intact and littered with marks.

You try to recall what happens in the dreams after this, but you always wake up at the last second.

And you can't help but inch your hand towards your purse., the outline of the test tube screaming at you to finally use it.

Use it for the reason you had originally stolen it for.

Use me.

Drug him. It screams. It's not like he ever loved you? Francesca, remember her? The other women? Your own mother, your own flesh and blood? Think about the times he forgot your anniversary, your birthday, when he insulted you, in front of you, in front of others, hell, even behind your back! You're spineless remember.

I mean you'd be doing the world a favour, getting rid of this from this world, wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you.

John Price would be proud of you wouldn't he?

He finally be with you.

With a steady hand, you reached into your purse and retrieved the test tube, its contents glinting in the dim light of the hospital room. You hesitated for a moment, your heart pounding in your chest, before steeling yourself and uncapping the tube.

The acrid scent of the drug filled the air, its toxic fumes making you gag slightly. But you pushed past the discomfort, focusing all your attention on the task at hand. With precision, you extracted the entire liquid from the tube and carefully poured it into Simon's IV drip, mentally wincing at how effortlessly you had manipulated the situation.

You have to get rid of the drug somehow, and if it means using it against him, then so be it.

The next morning had come and you're awaken by the phone buzzing by your bedside table, the screen lighting up with John's name. You hesitate, your fingers hovering over the screen for a moment before you finally answer, steeling yourself for whatever news awaits you on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" Your voice comes out strained, betraying the anxiety churning within you.

"Hey angel, it's me," John's voice crackles through the phone, the urgency in his tone palpable. "You need to come to the hospital. It's Simon."

Without a word, you hang up the phone and hail a cab, the journey to the hospital passing in a blur of anxious thoughts and racing heartbeat. Did they find out you stole the drugs? No...how could they? The empty test tube is in your bin, at home, not at the hospital and there's no cameras at you recall...

Arriving at the hospital, you're met with a scene of controlled chaos. Doctors and nurses bustle about, their faces tense with worry. You navigate through the maze of corridors, the familiar scent of antiseptic hanging heavy in the air.

Finally, you reach Simon's bedside, and what you see makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. Simon manually lies propped up against the pillows, his face pale and drawn, his body racked with violent tremors as he retches into a basin. The sight is enough to make you physically ill, although it slowly dissipates, seeing the now purple marks on his necks darkening.

John appears beside you, and without a word, he takes your hand in his, his grip steady and reassuring, pressing a small kiss at the side of your head. In that fleeting moment, the world falls away, leaving only the two of you suspended in time.

"I'll be outside," he mumbles, leaving with you with Simon.

With a heavy heart, you take a seat beside him. Simon looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of confusion. It takes all your strength to meet his gaze, the truth burning like acid on your tongue.

"Hey." He groans out. He can barely move, as his head painfully cranes to look at you, the effects of the drugs taking effect slowly.

"What happened." But it's more of a demand than a question.

Simon sniffs, "Traces of drugs..."

"No. I meant your neck."

He pauses, like he was trying to carefully choose his words, though he didn't have much of a escape now.

"Don't act like I see you and Price-"

"Don't bring him into this, Simon."

Don't lie to me anymore.

A tear rolls down his cheek, but you can't tell if it's crocodile tears or not.

"They-they... dismissed me."

You hum, a smirk gradually building up on your face.

"Why?"

Simon closes his eyes, "Back. My spine. Can't move it..."

You let out a slow, deep breath, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on you like a heavy stone.

"I know." Your voice is barely above a whisper, but the words hang heavy in the air between you. "I drugged you."

Simon's eyes wince once again, studying your face silently.

"Excuse me?" He begins.

You stand up, placing your purse back on your shoulder.

"What- what do you mean? You he-heard me? Love. Listen to me-"

You walk towards the door.

"WAIT. Wait. What do you mean you knew? You said you knew. What. What did you do. Sweetheart. Come back. Let's talk. You love me don't you? I love you! Where's that ring I gave you?"

You laugh, twisting the door handle.

"Baby, you better not fuckin' leav- THEY'LL FIND OUT-"

"And who's going to believe a damaged, deluded man, Simon Riley? You were out on a mission, I'll pin the blame on the enemies."

Simon shakes in his bed, unable to control any part of his body now. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME- HOW FUCKIN' DARE YOU- After that life I gave you-"

"Life? You call that living?"

"I LOVED YOU WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID-" His voice is painfully loud now, you're wondering how no one's running to his room already.

"Love? You don't know one thing about love, you fucker."

"I should have never fucked you, you- YOU BITCH-" He shouts, his body flailing violently, globes of tears racing down his clenched jaw and red cheeks.

"Rot in hell Simon Riley, I guess we're both fucking spineless now."

And that's a wrap for this mini seriesss - thank all of you for sticking around ;D IM AWARE IT TOOK SO LONG- I KEPT WRITING IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT DIDN'T AUTOSAVE LIKE TWICE??? SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT- Quick Notes: Let's all be real. We wanted reader to get with ol' john boy. But let's also be for real, if Reader was an object, she'd be a doormat. Although I've implied John Price x You, the bitch really needs to focus on herself and sort her shit out right now 💀 in the near future they're together for sure. ALSO the reference of drugs is highly inaccurate but let's all switch our imaginations on <3 lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum, @kxtz3, @poohkie90, @rainlovesyou12 , @restrictionsapply-blog , @lunamoonbby , @nigthmar3moon , @thychuvaluswife , @itsnourm , @bubusi11, @owkittie, @cheomain , @corvusmorte , @k4es , @mandythemint , @copiasratscheese , @yyiikes , @funkyyysho3s

[noa-de-cajou]

Day 15 : Family visits / Effortlessly loving you

Abel belongs to @thal-ent (happy one year anniversary Thalou <33)

_____

“Judicaël, we’re back.”

I rise slowly from my bed at the sound of Abel’s voice.

It’s been three weeks since what we like to call Judi’s Second Biggest Mistake, or The Mistake for short. I picked the name myself.

I wish I could say everything just went back to normal but it really didn't. Everyone forced me to take a huge break from everything, the business trips, social media, public speaking, Valéry told me he'd hire a communication team (“it was long overdue, Judi”) and that he’d take care of the rest. We kind of made up, with Val. I was scared it was out of pity, but he reassured me. We talked for a long time. Basically, I've been a huge asshole to him, he was a dick to me, we’re even. I’m glad we’re still friends.

Since then, it's been ups and downs. Baihya, Bertie and Dodo have been watching over me like mother hens. Abel’s here too. He was only supposed to book the guest room for a week, but then he just started sleeping on a mattress next to my bed. Well, if you can call that sleeping. He spends his nights watching over me.

I scared the shit out of him. Out of everyone.

A lot of people come by to say hi and I have all the time in the world to talk to them now. Lan Yue, Michiru, Emerens, Altaïr… Even Hibiki came and she was crying. I never saw her cry before, like ever. Benedikt was there too, it felt like a whole ass fever dream.

But yeah, everyone has been really good to me. And I'm not really there yet but I think I'm getting better. It’s still hard to get up. It’s hard to face the guilt and the thoughts when I can’t work myself to the bone. But overall, it’s been alright.

They never leave me alone in the building alone, though. Feels kind of infantilizing, but I can’t blame them.

Dodo and Abel went to get groceries, which lasted about an hour.

It’s weird because I never heard of groceries barking before.

The next moment, the door of my room bursts open and something just latches onto me. Something with a lot of fur and a smell I’d recognize anywhere.

“... Marsha?”

Happy bark. Dear god. It is him.

I squeeze him tightly, but I have no idea what the fuck is happening. What is my service dog doing here? My mom’s supposed to be taking of him.

“Surprise,” Abel says softly.

He's standing in the doorway with Dodo, who’s looking very pleased with herself. Those bastards. Those sweet, adorable bastards.

“How did you guys…”

“Well, the three of us thought Marsha’s presence was much needed.”

Three?

Wait.

My eyes widen.

“Shut up. You didn't.”

“Yes we did.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes they did,” someone else chimes in.

She walks in, her hair in a bun, greyer than the last time I saw her, she looks exhausted too, her eyebags are huge behind her glasses, but she smiles at me.

“Hi, honey.”

My mom. Those crazy bitches brought my mom here. She walks up to me and takes me in her arms as tears stream down my face.

“I’m sorry I couldn't come in earlier. You know, with work, and the tickets…”

“It's fine,” I say, and voice cracks. “I’m glad you’re here, I really am.”

Dad would have never showed up like this. Not like I really want him to.

I look at Abel and Dodo past my mom's shoulder.

“You fuckers. I love you so much.”

“We love you too,” Dodo sneers.

My mom pulls away from me after a few minutes, puts her hands on her hips.

“We’ll talk more later, honey. Theodosia, where’s the kitchen?”

“Uh, I can show you if you’d like, but Blanche, you should really rest-”

“No, I feel just fine, I slept for the whole flight! I need to get my hands on something. And to cook up something nice for my son and his friends!”

And she saunters away, followed by Dodo mumbling well, now at least we know where Judi gets that energy from.

Abel remains standing in the doorway. I look at him, he looks at me. We don’t say anything. We don't need to. He closes the door and walks up to me.

He attempts to sit on the bed.

Attempts, because Marsha just straight up latches onto him, getting a little surprised “ah” out of him as he tumbles over. I try to stop Marsha, forgetting that I literally cannot walk, fall on top of the both of them, and boom, here we are on the floor. Poor Abel is stuck beneath both me and my dog enthusiastically licking his face. What a life.

“... Ow. You okay?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “You?”

God, he looks so tired. He’s probably feeling worse than he lets on. Marsha doesn't just jump on people for no reason.

“I’m okay. I’m… feeling great, actually. And uh. Sorry for the contact. I can't get up.”

���I know. I don’t mind if it's you.”

I’m gonna cry again if he keeps this shit up. He’s not even being sweet, he’s just being sincere. Which is sweet.

“... Thanks. For this. My mom. I needed that.”

“I know.”

“Yeah. You always know, don’t you?”

“No. Not always.”

I can easily guess what he means.

He was taken by surprise last month. But he couldn’t have known. I hid from everyone just how bad things got. Even from myself.

“I’m sorry, Abel. I really am.”

“And I already told you I’m not mad at you.”

“You could be, you know. I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Judicaël.”

He slowly pats my head.

“I'm just glad you made it.”

“Yeah… Me too, you know.”

A silence. I break it once more, raising my face a little.

“I’m glad to have you. I'm glad you’re here.”

I know I'm not easy to love, but he makes me feel like I am.

We went through horrendous times, I did him dirty more than once, but he’s still here. I guess I must be worth it.

He doesn't reply at first. Just wraps an arm around me. The one that's not being squished by my dog.

“I’m glad you’re still here too,” he says, his voice so low I'm scared it’s just going to disappear.

We stay like this. In silence. I don’t say it, because I don’t want to overwhelm him, but I just know.

If I needed a single reason to stay, he’d be the first.

[bomikalover]

"Puree Passion"

here's the other two chapters!

Chapter 2: Paris avec Becky (Paris with Becky)

Bose walks into the CDG Airport after a 15-hour flight, taking a second to stretch himself out. Even though he was in first class with the seats that turn into beds, he couldn’t find comfort fitting all 6 '3 of him on those average-sized plane beds. As he finished his stretch, his eyes caught the young brunette standing near the bag claim. With searching green eyes and a small sign saying “Welcome Bose!” in her hands. He walks up to Becky without her noticing as she stares over the other way. Bose taps his friend's shoulder, her turning abruptly. 

“Rebecca Nicole Butler, we meet again.”

“Call me that again, and you're sleeping on the streets.”

The duo laughs, embracing each other. Bose hasn't seen Becky since she moved away 2 years ago. She hadn't changed much, her hair was longer, and she didn't have braces anymore, but everything else was basically the same. Bose, on the other hand, had doubled his height, had a broader build, and had a deeper voice. The duo breaks their hug.

“So, how has Swellview been without me?”

“I've been so bored. You know, with school, my parents, and Danger-I mean other stuff. I just haven't had time to really have fun.”

“Aww, you still haven't made any friends?” Becky teases.

Bose scoffs while grabbing his bags from the baggage claim.

“Actually, I have 3 friends, best friends, to be exact.” Bose claims.

“Oh really, what are their names?”

“There’s Miles; they’re the funny one, Chapa; she’s the angry one, and then there’s Mika-”

“Mika? Mika Macklin? The Mika Mouse?” Becky questioned.

That’s exactly how Mika reacted to him mentioning Becky.

“Yes?”

“You didn't tell me you were friends with her!”

“You never asked.”

Becky rolls her eyes while grabbing one of his suitcases. They start walking to the exit.

“Bose, I’m serious. I always talked to you about her.”

“You did?”

“All throughout Middle School! That girl was my academic rival.”

“Oh well, she changed a lot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, she’s way more chill now. A lot like you, if I'm being honest.”

“If you say so.”

The duo makes it to Becky’s car, Bose getting in the passenger with Becky in the driver’s seat. 

“So, how has Paris been treating you?” Bose asked.

“c'était vraiment solitaire” Becky replied.

“What does that mean?”

“It's been wonderful!” Becky lies.

Google it.

“That's great; I was worried you'd be sad by yourself.”

“Me? Lonely? That’s funny.” Becky giggled nervously.

Bose and Becky laugh as she continues to drive to her residence.

Becky turns into the driveway of her home. Bose gawks at the sight of her humongous home. It was twice the size of his. 

“This is your house?” Bose asked.

“Yeah, but it’s only our summer house.”

“Summer House?”

“Yeah, but my mom’s house is way better. But enough about me, let's get you inside.” Becky says.

Bose and Becky grab the suitcases while heading inside. Becky opens her front door to an even more marvelous sight. Bose felt like he could break something by just looking at it. 

“Rebecca, is that you?”

Becky’s mom Rosemary turns the corner dressed like she’s going to meet the queen. She is British, after all.

“Oh, Bose, is it? I forgot you were coming today!”

“Hello to you too, Ms.Rosemary.”

The mother looks thrown off as Bose smiles politely at her.

“It's Butler.” Rosemary corrects.

“I'm sorry?” Bose questioned.

“It’s Ms.Butler.” Rosemary corrected once again.

Becky could cut the awkward tension with a knife, as it was so thick. So she grabs a bag and Bose’s hand while walking past her mother.

“Mom, be nice! We're going upstairs; Bose must be exhausted.” Becky said while dragging Bose up the stairs. 

The duo makes it up the stairs, entering the room at the end of the hall. It held a queen bed, two big dressers, a wooden desk, and a big flatscreen TV. It also contained a mini walk-in closet and a full bathroom. It had its necessities, but it was very barren; very obvious it was a guest room.

“So I'm guessing this is where I stay?” Bose asks while sitting at the desk.

“Yeah, sorry, it's not nicer.”

“Are you kidding? This is way better than my room!”

Becky laughs while placing his suitcase in his closet.

“Well, I'm glad. You must be tired, so get some sleep; you can worry about unpacking later.”

“See you at dinner?”

“No, duh.” Becky joked while leaving the room.

Bose plopped back on the bed, falling asleep almost instantly. It’s almost like he's forgetting something…Nah, he’ll think about it in the morning.

Mika paces back and forth in her room with her phone on her bed. Awaiting a call, or a text, a video call, a voicemail, heck, even an email! But Zada, zero, zilch, nada, nothing! Absolutely, Positively, Most Certainly Nothing from Bose! You heard her…NOTHING! Did he make it? Is he safe? Is he alive? Well, we’ll never know. Why? Because he didn't CALL HER! Was Mika overreacting? Maybe! But is it justified? Absolutely! She hasn't been able to sleep knowing Bose isn't there. She doesn't have the comfort that he can just come over to her house in the middle of the night and crawl through her window! Anyone else does that, and she sonic screams them off the roof.

“He’d said he’d call.” Mika says.

Bose wasn't one to break promises. If he said he’d call, he’d call. 2 hours later, the phone still hasn't rang. Mika was still pacing, with tired legs, heavy eyes, and an empty stomach. Mika grabs her silver Danger Force blanket, sitting Indian style on her floor, wrapping herself up in the blanket. The door opens to Miles, asking if their sister wants lunch.

“Meeks, you want lun-Oh my god, are you ok?”

The twin watched as Mika rocked back and forth on the ground. She was really going through it, and this was only day one.

“He. didn't. Call. Not once. HE SAID HE’D CALL! But he didn't. He’s probably Frenching with Becky.” Mika said spitefully.

“Okk, I think you need to rest.” Miles carefully said.

“No! I'm not moving until he calls!”

“Mika, you haven't eaten or slept, and I'm sure you have to pee. He will call, but you can't stay in one spot until he does!”

“Watch me.” Mika bets.

Miles walked right back out of the room. They knew Mika was too stubborn, controlling, and over-competitive to let someone get one over on her. Especially her own twin. So, Mika sat and waited. 20 more unbearable minutes passed before her phone finally made a noise. It was ringing. It was actually ringing! Mika springs up, forgetting all the fatigue and needs she has. She grabs her phone, ready to see the name Honey 🍯 with her favorite picture of Bose in the background. It was an image of him handing her a dandelion and telling her to make a wish; she snapped a picture of him in the act. Her candid photos of Bose were her favorite. Her smile immediately fades away as she sees Sparky ⚡with a pic of Chapa hanging upside down from monkey bars like a bat. She said, “It’s my most comfortable state, ya know, when I’m not zapping people.” Mika sighs, answering her phone.

“Where are you!” Chapa asked.

“I’m at home, waiting for Bose to call me.”

“We were supposed to go out for lunch today.”

“Shoot.” Mika whispers.

“Yeah, shoot. I knew you’d forget…Mika, I know Bose, and I know you do too. He’ll call, but you can’t just mope around until he does! Get ready and meet me at the Singing Subway in an hour. You’re lucky I love music. If this were any other restaurant, you’d have 5 minutes.” Chapa ended with a joke.

Mika giggled at her friend’s joking manner. She appreciates Chapa for trying to help her not think about Bose for a bit.

“Ok. Thanks, Chapa.”

“No problem, now go get ready!” Chapa says while hanging up.

Mika plugs her phone up, heading out of her room for the first time in hours. She will admit Miles was right about one thing, she really did need to pee.

A, now clean and energized, Mika stood outside Singing Subway. The Singing Subway is precisely what you think it is. A sandwich shop, where you go do karaoke. It was mainly a purple and white building, with a big sub sandwich holding a mic, on a sign. Mika enters through the double glass doors, spotting Chapa admiring a performance by a young girl from their school. Her name was Mileah, and she was on the basketball team with Chapa. Mika’s seen her before, obviously at all the games, but sometimes Mika will see the two basketball players leave games together. Not wanting to intrude, she doesn’t follow, but she will forever be curious about where the duo goes. Mika orders a sandwich before sitting at the table.

“She’s good.” Mika states.

Chapa flinches, not noticing her friend’s presence. “Dude! Don’t scare me like that.”

Mika laughs while leaning back in her chair. Chapa sets her eyes back on Mileah.

“But yeah, she’s great.”

Mika eyes her friend with a knowing look; Wait a minute…. “You like Mileah.”

Chapa turns around in her chair.

“What are you talking about?” Chapa questions.

“I see how you look at her; you talk about her all the time, and don’t think I didn’t see all those times you guys left together after games.” Mika explains, sitting up in excitement.

Chapa came out as a lesbian on her 16th birthday. Everyone supported her, and her mother was still coming around, but that didn’t stop her. She was genuinely happier and knew she was never alone as Miles came out as Pansexual and Non-Binary the year before. They were the first person to know about Chapa’s sexuality months before everyone else did. Miles and Chapa always had that special bond, like Bose and Mika’s, but it was different and their own.

“Damn, you and that big brain of yours!”

The brunette smirks confidently. “I’ll be damned.”

Chapa sighs, knowing she has no way out now.

“Mileah is my girlfriend. We started dating a little after I came out.”

“I knew it!” Mika cheers.

“No one knows besides you…promise to keep it on the down low? Please don’t bring back Mika the Snitch.” Chapa pleaded.

“I promise.”

“Mika, I’m not playing around, Mileah is important to me, and I want to keep it private for a little longer. Girl Code?”

Mika loved seeing the redhead be in love. It warmed her heart. She would much rather see Chapa happy than angry, so of course, she would keep her secret.

Mika smiled while saying, “Girl Code.”

Mileah finished off her performance, walking over to the girl’s table.

“Hey, Mika! I didn’t even notice you came in.”

Mika giggles. “Neither did Chapa.”

Chapa rolls her eyes while grabbing Mileah’s hand. Chapa’s brown eyes meet her blue.

“You did great, babe. And don’t worry, Miss Brainiac over here figured us out.” 

“My lips are sealed.” Mika says while zipping her lips.

Mileah smiles. “Oh, ok. Well, I got to go, but it was nice seeing you, Mika. I’ll see you Saturday, baby?”

“Yup.”

Mileah leans in, pecking Chapa’s lips and squeezing her hand before letting go.

“Later, girls.”

Mileah leaves as Mika’s order makes it to the table. Mika is quick to eat her sandwich as she hasn’t eaten in hours.

“Now that we talked about my love life, let's talk about yours.”

Mika swallowed her bite before asking, “What love life?” 

“I’m talking about your lover boy, you know, the one you cried in my arms about yesterday?”

Mika sets down her drinks.

“Chapa, nothing is going on between Bose and me.”

“Oh really? So the thought of Becky having him all to herself while being miles away doesn’t bother you?”

Mika’s blood started to boil. Becky was known for her manipulative ways, slithering her way into getting whatever she wanted. That includes people, and people includes Bose. Her Bose. The boy she once saw used his pants as a napkin since he didn’t want to get his shirt dirty. The boy she once saved from a crazy blonde sea witch who went to any lengths to make him official with her. The boy she missed like crazy, and just the thought of him with Becky makes her want to-

“Mika! You’re choking your sandwich.”

The girl looks down at her hands, seeing her sandwich squeezed out all over the table. She puts it down as Chapa hands her some napkins.

“Look at you! You’re so mad at the mere thought of Bose with Becky that you murdered your sandwich! Meeks, admit it. You like Bose.”

Mika cleans her hands while leaning back in disbelief. “I like Bose?”

“While you think about that, I’ll order you another sandwich.” Chapa voiced while walking away.

“I like Bose.”

The whole world knew Mika liked Bose, and now Mika finally, after four years did too.

Chapter 3: Le garçon oublieux (The Forgetful Boy)

Bose woke up with the sun shining through his window, last night’s clothes, and a sticky note on his forehead. He pulls the post-it note off groggily, seeing it’s from Becky. It read, “You missed dinner, sleepyhead. I better not eat Beckyfast without you or else….” Bose chuckled at his friend, still calling breakfast “Beckyfast.” Bose looks at his phone that was plugged in, thanks to Beck.

“10 am.” Bose whispers.

The teen rises out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom to freshen up for the day.

Bose sits at his desk, going through his phone after getting ready. He opens Twitflash seeing a post of Mika and Chapa at that new sandwich place that Chapa posted hours ago. It’s a nice picture. Mika looked super pretty…MIKA! He didn’t call her. Bose immediately dials Mika’s number, feeling guilter as time passes. The phone rings for a few seconds, but it feels like forever. 

Mika picks up with her camera on, wearing a pink pajama set while sitting at her desk. She looks beautiful. Well, she always does, but as the desk lamp gave her face a warm glow that only Bose could see, she looked unreal.

“Hey, Mika.”

Mika keeps her eyes glued to the notebook that she is writing in. “Hey”

“I’m sorry for not calling like I said I would.”

Mika stops writing, setting her pencil down. She sits back in her chair, arms crossed.

“I waited for hours. You promised you’d call, and you didn’t.”

“I know. I was just exhausted from the long flight and crashed when I hit the bed. I’m sorry; I should have texted you or something. Can you forgive me?” Bose pleaded.

Mika stayed silent, eyeing her best friend through her phone. His hair was slightly damp, showing he just finished getting ready. The brunette was wearing a lilac hoodie which was one of Mika’s favorites on him. Not that he knows that. Bose looked at her with his honey-brown puppy dog eyes, and Mika was folding. Mika couldn’t stay mad at him. Truthfully she never was. She wasn’t mad at him for not calling; she was scared he would forget about her once he got to Paris. But he didn’t. He called her as soon as he woke up. That alone means a lot to Mika.

Mika broke into a smile. “Of course I can.”

Bose smiled while getting up to unpack.

“So, doing summer school work, I assume?” Bose questioned.

“I must do everything I can to be immediately accepted to Harvard!”

“I know, but summer is usually for having fun, hanging out with friends, and traveling.”

“I’m having fun doing summer work, I hung out with Chapa yesterday, and we traveled all over the world when we fight crime, so I’d rather not travel.” Mika debated.

Bose laughed while putting away some of his clothes. Mika Macklin was definitely one of a kind. That’s one of the things he liked about her. She was still the girl he met at Planes-A-Plenty four years ago. Her hard work and perseverance were some of her most notable traits.

“I’m just worried that you will waste your summer doing something we already do for 5 months of the year.”

“It’s 9 months, and I’m not wasting my summer; you can learn anytime.” 

“I just want you to have fun, just like if I was there with you.”

Bose knew how overwhelmed Mika gets over schoolwork. And just for one summer, he wants her to do something in the heat of the moment and not overthink it. 

“And how do I do that? It will never be the same without you.” Mika expresses softly.

Bose stops unpacking, sitting in front of his phone. He hates being away from Mika. Both of their summers won’t be the same without each other.

“I know it sucks, but it’s only 3 months. I’ll talk to you as much as I can, and once I get back, I’m all yours.” Bose voiced.

“Really?”

“Really. I’ll even take you book shopping!”

“For paperbacks or hardcovers?” Mika asked.

“Hardcovers.” Bose replied.

“Hardcovers! Bose, you’re too good to me!” Mika jokes.

“Only the best, to make it up to you.” Bose voiced genuinely.

Mika smiles, feeling her heart flutter with every word Bose says. As soon as Mika finally acknowledges she likes Bose, everything Bose does creates butterflies in her stomach.

“And I can’t wait.” Mika stated just as genuine.

Bose was about to reply when a knock was heard on his door. 

“Bose, it’s almost noon! You can’t miss dinner, Beckyfast, and lunch!”

Mika thought she had escaped that voice. But it still comes back to haunt her. That was the voice of Becky Butler.

Bose chuckled. “Beck, it’s called Breakfast, and I’ll be down in 5 minutes.”

“Alright, I’m counting on it.” Becky jokes.

Mika heard her footsteps get farther and farther away as Bose turned back to her.

“Ok, I got to go eat. I’ll call you tomorrow to tell you how my first day went, ok?”

Mika was still stuck on Becky’s voice but managed to say...“Sure.”

“Later, Meeks.” Bose said while hanging up.

Mika was silent. Her mind focused on three things. He called Becky a nickname; she made him laugh, and how the hell she was going to keep Becky But away from Bose for 3 months while she was stuck in Swellview. Suddenly doing summer work didn’t seem so fun anymore.

Bose gets up, finally heading downstairs. He is met with Becky sitting and eating a sandwich while scrolling on her phone mindlessly. She notices his presence, putting down her phone.

“Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, the flight really took it out of me.”

“It’s ok. I’m happy you’re up now since you start your first day in an hour.” Becky stated.

“Yup, what do you do there anyway?” Bose asked.

“Well, since my mother owns the entire Hip Hop Puree franchise, I can do anything I want. So I decided to get acquainted with all the fields so I could do any job that was needed. But I mostly wait tables since I get extra money from tips.”

“Nice. What am I doing?” Bose asked.

“Working behind the bar. That includes taking orders, working the Puree Machine, and being a cashier. So I hope you studied your French because you’re going to need it.” Becky teases.

I guess calling Mika wasn’t the only thing he forgot to do.

“About that…”

“You didn’t study! I know coming to Paris was a last-minute decision, but you had at least a week to learn something, anything!” Becky stressed.

Truth be told, Bose was already occupied with school finals, but the real distraction was crime fighting. Becky doesn’t know about Bose being Brainstorm, and he’s hoping to keep it that way.

“Sorry, Becky. But you can just teach me some simple phrases, right? It can’t be that hard to learn.”

Becky rolls her eyes while scoffing, “It took me months to get simple phrases down, so for a himbo like you, I doubt you can get it down in an hour.” Becky replies bluntly.

“Ouch.” Bose expressed.

“Sorry. I just want you to have a good first day.”

“I get that. Look, I already speak English, German, Sign Language, and Italian, so I’m sure I can get some of the French phrases down.”

In disbelief, Becky squints, “When and why did you learn so many languages?”

“During Quarantine. I knew Mika wanted to spend her time learning a new language, so I decided to join her. Turns out, I learn quite fast from watching TV, so I learned German and Italian pretty easily. I thought it would be nice to show Mika and the rest of my friends that I could be smart like them. Sign Language was an extra language I picked up just for fun.” Bose explained.

Becky smiled at her friend. It was apparent that he really cared for his friends back home. But it was even more evident that he had a crush on her ex-academic rival. Becky might not have the best history with Mika, but if Bose likes her, she must be someone who makes him happy. That alone is all Becky desires for Bose, for him to remain his innocent and joyful self. And if Mika Macklin is the person keeping him that way…how could Becky ever hate her?

“Well, Hip Hop Paris is only down the street, so that gives us 25 minutes to study. Let’s hope that’s enough time to teach you how to hold a basic conversation.” Becky jokes.

“That’s enough for one episode of a French TV show!” Bose complained.

“Well, let’s hope you weren’t lying about learning fast.”

Bose was now walking with Becky with 25 minutes worth of French knowledge, and let’s just say he wasn’t confident.

[eoieopda]

re soft asks: actually...... what if i said "all of them." how unhinged would that be (do it)

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions..... i did this to @moni-logues last week and — uhhhh — i guess i deserve this, lmao.

buckle up, kids.

1, 2, and 3 were just answered here.

4. what flower would you like to be given?

i love, love, love, hydrangeas. idk if that yoongi drabble made that clear, lol.

5. who do you feel most you around?

my older sister and my best friend, IRL. if we're talking internet, @jihopesjoint has proven to be my actual clone in all respects, which is both spooky and incredible. we're like the lindseys lohan from the parent trap except instead of camp, it was tumblr.

6 was answered here.

7. what color brings you peace?

hmmmmmmmm. lilac or mint green. also really deep forest green.

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

i already tagged nicki but ope here she is again: @jihopesjoint. also YOU, @sailoryooons, @here2bbtstrash (though idk if m will see this,) @luaspersona. this is not an exhaustive list!

9. what calms you down?

i don't know if i've ever actually felt truly calm in my entire life?? but the closet i get is driving around with the windows down, listening to music, and drinking a silly little coffee.

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

well, i moved to a new state yesterday and start a new job on monday, so.... a new chapter. the previous one was v ouchie and i'm excited to put down the baggage i've been shouldering.

11. what’s your ideal date?

be honest — is this you asking me out? jk..... unless 👀 (no, i'm kidding.) i never don't want to go to a dive bar, listen to a band, be bad at pool, and laugh until my stomach hurts!!

12 was answered here.

13. what’s your comfort food?

this is so embarrassing and really snitches on my depressive habits, but lately, smuckers uncrustables have been sustaining my whole life. specifically, the strawberry ones. tell me you're struggling without telling me you're struggling!!!!

14. favorite feel-good show?

new girl and schitt's creek are always the first ones i think of when i need to turn my brain off and laugh!

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

you didn't give me any, so i'm just gonna yeet right past this one.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

this is gonna sound so dumb because i don't know you in the literal, physical sense, but i'm so fucking proud of you??? i know the gauntlet you're currently going through and it warms my old, dead heart to see that you're not only surviving it, but doing (what looks to be) a really incredible job at holding onto you — your interests, your joy, your hobbies. i wasn't super successful at that. it's hard as fuck, but you're doing the damn thing.

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

HALLOWEEN LIGHTS. LIL LIGHT-UP PUMPKINS. next question.

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes, binch! all i have atm is a gigantic raccoon squishmallow that my sister gave me when my life exploded last year and i cling to that shit, lol.

19. most important thing in your life?

my family. my siblings, my parents, my nephews, my dog, and my best friend.

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

the first thing that came to mind is taco bell because i've been craving it for days. but uhhhhh, if we're getting existential here, i want whatever is the emotional equivalent of a deep breath.

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

all you can do is love him hard and let him go.

22. what would you say to your future self?

drink water. seriously, get up and get a glass of water. right now. how are you even alive? lmao.

23. favorite piece of clothing?

an old, beat-up denim jacket that used to be my mom's! she wore it when my parents brought me over from korea, once my adoption was finalized.

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

🏃🏻‍♀️ run, beautiful, run, yeah, you gotta run 🏃🏻‍♀️

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

you could give me a pen cap that you chewed on and i'd still be like, omfg, you made this? for me?

but fr, i'm a sentimental bitch, so anything along the lines of "i saw/heard this and thought of you/this thing we did," etc.

26. what movie would you want to live in?

oooh, idk! is it weird if i say the craft, given what happens? i just really wanna be a witch with a bunch of other baddies.

27. which character would you want to be?

....from the movie in 25? or generally? because i'd want to be baby yoda, thottin' and boppin' around with pedro pascal, drinkin my lil drink, and being baby.

28 was answered here.

29. morning, afternoon or night?

morning! i'm an up-and-at-em kinda fella. love having a whole day ahead of me, love a breakfast sandwich, love a sunrise.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

bon fires, maple syrup, people singing while they cook/work/whatever, getting zooted and then over-competitive while playing egyptian rat screw, being hugged for a laughably long time.

[karlajoyner]

Tease (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so this was requested. I hope you guys enjoy it! And send in your own request!

Requested by: @universefangirl (Tumblr)

Warnings: Smut (18+)

————

I sighed typing away frustratedly at my computer attempting to get my work done for the night. Taking another sip of my wine I looked over to the couch to see my boyfriend scrolling through his phone.

"You know? It must be nice being a paid actor during a pandemic" I spoke catching his attention. A grin began to form on his face as he stood up making his way over to me in the kitchen.

"It has its perks. Can't say the same about you baby" He teased rubbing my shoulders. I rolled my eyes continuing to type away.

"You know you could take a break" He whispered getting near my ear.

"I can't. If I don't get this is by tonight I'm so fired"

"Fine. I'm just gonna go live for a bit. And relax afterwards. I'm pretty busy tomorrow"

"Yes Charles getting to sleep in and doing a live interview late afternoon sounds so exhausting. Meanwhile I have a term paper for English due and on top of that I have to do two more sets of these for work" I spoke holding up my papers.

"For your information I'm going on a hike tomorrow morning. Then I'm going live" He said another deep breath leaving my mouth.

"Aww baby. It's okay"

"Is it though?" I asked frustrated at his lack of sympathy. I love him and all but he seems to forget that his totally normal girlfriend works a 9 to 5 and still goes to college. And as much as I appreciate the times he said he could put in a good word for me with Kenny. I refused to be exposed in the spotlight more than I already was for being his girlfriend.

"I'm sure you can do it. You always do"

"Your right. I'm amazing. I don't know what you'd do without me" I joked trying to lighten up my own mood more than his.

"I don't either. I'd miss you too much" He said placing kisses just below my ear.

"Hmm really? Care to find out Gillespie?" I asked biting my lip. This was my opportunity to get him back where it hurt.

"What do you mean?" I smirked continuing to do my work. Without another word leaving my mouth.

“Baby. What do you mean?" He asked again standing up.

I stayed quiet as he repeated the question a few more times finishing up what I was doing. I had to get through all my stuff for school and work tonight if I wanted tomorrow to go as planned.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping. Glancing over at the clock I smiled. On schedule. I moved over to the empty spot beside me with a grin. Charlie was really in for it today.

I quickly got up making the bed when my phone suddenly dinged. I smiled seeing it was a good miring text from Charlie himself.

“Good morning my love. Just finished my hike. On my way home with coffee.

“I'll see you in a bit baby" I read aloud. I smiled at the cute detail before continuing on with my plan.

Changing into yoga pants and a sports bra I made my way to the living room setting up for a morning workout. Something I rarely got to do since my second term started and I became ambushed with work. It'd been nearly half an hour before I heard the front door open. The smell of coffee carrying itself through the small apartment.

"Baby your awake" He stated taking in my appearance. No doubt the sweat droplets on my body making me look shiny as hell.

"Yeah. I finished all my work last night so I figured I'd have a day to myself. I did a morning work out and I'm gonna do more things I haven't done in a while" I smiled innocently.

"Mmm am I one of those things by any chance?" He smirked pulling me close. Placing a kiss to my sweaty forehead.

"You wish. Actually I invited y/b/n over. We were thinking of painting to clear our minds"

"Oh but you can't paint looking like this. So sweaty. So wet" He whispered rubbing circles on my hips.

"Yeah I'll probably hop in the shower in a bit" I grinned before pulling away to go finish my workout.

“You know I need to shower too. What if we hop in together? To save water"

"Um I don't know. Can you keep your hands to yourself Gillespie?" I asked bending down in front of him to stretch.

"I can't answer that" He growled coming to stand behind me. As soon I felt his hands on my waist I stood up turning around to face him.

"Tsk Tsk Tsk" I whispered pulling back.

“What baby? Why won't you let me touch you?" He whined.

"Because it's my only free day and I'm going to enjoy it babe" I said placing a chaste kiss on the corner of his lips before walking away.

"Where are you going?" He called.

"To shower"

"Can I join?"

"If you can keep your hands away" I heard him groan as I shut the bathroom door behind me. Giggling to myself I entered the shower washing myself down.

Purposely forgetting to bring in an outfit. Knowing Charlie didn't enter for a reason I called out for him after I was clean.

"Charlie!" I shouted waiting for him to come in.

"Yes baby?"

"Can you bring me some clothes please?”I asked peeking my head out the curtain.

"Can I touch you?" He asked.

"Uh how about no"

"Then no" He said hoping that would get a reaction out of me. It didn't.

"Fine. If you insist" I spoke shutting the water off. Within a matter of seconds I exited the shower. Feeling his eyes piercing through me.

"Close your mouth. Your gonna catch flies" I said wrapping my towel around my body.

"Mm baby you don't know what your doing to me" He moaned out.

"I don't? Or do I?" I asked opening the door further so I could slip past him. Heading to the bedroom I smiled to myself knowing it was working.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Rushing over I peeked through the hole to see y/b/n standing there. Thankful both of our COVID tests came out negative I smiled welcoming her inside.

"Hey y/n/n"

"Y/b/n!" I shouted happy to see her after so long.

"So how's he doing?" She asked knowing all about my plan.

"Not good. I love him I really do but paybacks a bitch. I can't wait til his interview" I smirked walking her to my room.

I was quick to change into a cute matching set with only one of his band shirts layering on top.

"Wow. He's gonna be drooling"

"That's the plan. Thanks for doing this again"

"Its no problem. What are best friends for? Just promise me you'll give me every detail tomorrow. You know after he breaks"

"I promise" I said as we both giggled exiting the room. We made our way towards the living room pulling out the supplies she had brought over for our eventful day.

Y/b/n and I enjoyed each other's company for a while. Catching up on our new quarantine rituals. It wasn't long before Charlie came out of the restroom completely shirtless with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I bit my lip coming back to reality when y/b/n bumped my shoulder.

"Y/b/n. You're here" Charlie said running his fingers through his hair. He knew what he was doing.

"Yeah. I came to spend time with my best friend. Did you see her today by the way?" Y/b/n said taking my hand and playfully spinning me around. I chuckled at her antics realizing she'd done it on purpose to give him a full view of what I was wearing. If something drove Charlie Gillespie crazy. It was me wearing his band tees.

"I didn't. Thank you for that" Charlie spoke sending daggers through me.

"I hope you don't mind. I barrowed your shirt to paint. I can change if you wa-"

"No! No no baby keep it on. It looks amazing on you" He said a small smile playing at his lips.

"Thanks baby. When's your interview?"

"In like 20 minutes. I'm gonna go get ready"

"Sounds good. We'll be on the balcony painting. That good?"

"Of course baby" I smiled walking out on the hard cemented area placing down our stuff.

We specifically chatted those 20 minutes waiting for Charlie to come out of the bedroom.

"I'm going live" Charlie called through the screen door.

"Okay good luck" I called back. I saw him send me a wink before setting up his phone where the sun was hitting him perfectly.

"This is perfect" I whispered to y/b/n as we pulled out our paints.

"I know. I can't believe he set himself up right there" She whispered back. I giggled pulling out the pastel pink from the bag.

"Charlie!" I heard the interviewer shout. My boyfriend clearly estatic.

"Hey man what's up?"

"What's up with me? What's up with you? Your our first cast member of the day. So for starters we wanna know what's up with you?"

"Nothing much man. I mean I've been writing a lot recently"

"Oh yeah can we be expecting any music coming out soon away from the Julie and the Phantoms band?"

"Uh no. That's kind of where I'm at right now which is amazing you know? Working with such great cast and bandmates it's great"

"Sounds like it. So where do you get inspiration from during this whole new situation we're in? It must get boring"

"Uh it does at times when I'm alone. Which is rare since I've been quarantining with my girlfriend. She's amazing company and overall my biggest inspiration"

"Girlfriend? Are you guys at her place or yours?"

"Hers man. I didn't wanna disturb her peace but she insisted and it's just been amazing. I love her" He said my heart fluttering at his words. I looked over at y/b/n to see her smirking at me.

"What about your cast? Do they know her?"

"Oh yeah. Like my family, they absolutely love her which is great. You know their approval means a lot to me so it's nice that everyone gets along with her just fine"

"That's good to hear so moving back to your music" The interviewer continued changing subjects. With his wholesome answers I almost felt bad denying him my touch today. And almost felt bad what I'd be doing next.

Almost.

After about 15 minutes I began to laugh at nothing signalling it was go time. I glanced back see Charlie staring up at us. Clearly trying to focus on the interviewer speaking. Clearly.

"Stop!" I whisper shouted at my best friend who splattered pain on me. I repeated her actions earning a giggle from the girl.

Suddenly I felt a cold sensation hit me. She had thrown our water cup at me in return I splattered more paint towards her. Trying to stay as quiet as possible.

"No yeah thanks man. I had fun" I heard Charlie say. Signifying the interview was nearly over.

"No thank you. Charlie Gillespie everyone. Up next Owen Patrick Joyner!" The man shouted before the living room went silent.

"Done?" I asked turning back to look indoors. The door screen being the only thing between us and the indoors.

"Yeah. What happened?"

"I don't know y/b/n what did happened?" I asked the girl in a teasing voice. Moving back slowly letting the sun hit my body. The white shirt on my body becoming see through.

"Cover up baby"

"Y/b/n doesn't mind right babe?" I asked her.

"Nope. We've been best friends forever Charles. I know her inside out. I also know you should probably get changed out of that"

"Or I could just do this" I replied removing the shirt from my body altogether. I watched as Charlie's jaw dropped in surprised.

"Cute set. Victoria secret?"

"Pink" I answered walking into the living room.

"Huh. I would've never guessed. Oh shoot it's already 5:00 o'clock? I should get going. I have to get to Dylan's house. Do you need help cleaning up?"

"No!" Charlie shouted before I could answer.

"No. We've got it y/b/n. No worries"

"Thanks guys" She smiled pulling me into a hug then Charlie. I watched as he walked her towards the door.

Not knowing which one was rushing more him or her.

"Thanks for coming!" I called out grabbing some paper towels to wipe off the water still on my body.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Charlie asked once the door shut.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You've been such a bad girl"

“Me?" I asked looking behind me jokingly knowing I was the only one here.

"Teasing me all damn day. Having y/b/n come over to be a cock block. And then pulling that little stunk during my interview"

"I don't know what your going on about Charles. I didn't know y/b/n name was gonna- Ahhh" I squealed feeling his strong arms wrap around me from behind lifting me up.

"Charlie!" I shouted as he carried me towards the bedroom.

"Yes?" He questioned when he put me down on the bed gently.

"Seriously?" I asked ask he removed his shirt.

"Seriously" He confirmed moving in to kiss me. It was gentle at first but that gentleness soon became hunger. From both ends we fought for dominance. Tired of fighting I gave in as he pushed me further up the bed.

"Charlie please" I pleaded beginning to palm him through his jeans. Feeling him get harder by the second.

"Tsk tsk tsk. Not yet" He whispered making me whine. He chuckled before speaking once more in a hushed tone.

"Now are you gonna tell daddy exactly why you teased him all day?" I groaned knowing there was no way of getting out of this one.

"Nope" I said hoping to move on.

"Mm I don't like the sound of that" He said removing his jeans. I moaned seeing his full body. He was too hot for his own good.

"Now are you gonna tell me or should I return the punishment" I internally groaned not in the mood to be teased.

"I-I just feel like you forget sometimes that I have so much on my plate. And maybe sometimes you could be insensitive about it" I muttered the last part hoping he wouldn't hear. But judging by his features softening he had heard every word.

"I make you feel that way?" he asked caressing my cheek.

"Not all the time but yeah sometimes"

"Baby. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" He mumbled placing soft kisses on my lips.

"I guess I just forget sometimes that you have so much to do. I just wanna spend all my time with you since that's all I have. I also guess offering to pay for things like your college doesn't help either when your girlfriends independent"

"And capable of doing everything on her own. Including paying for her school and home necessities. I mean it's a nice gesture baby but I'd just appreciate it if maybe you could take a step back and realize I'm only human. And not everyone wants to become an actor. I'm studying really hard to get to where I wanna be. And even if I'm working a boring desk job right now I won't be in the future"

"I know baby and I'm so proud of you for that you know that right?"

"Of course Charlie. And I know your my number one supporter just like I'm your number one fan" I said as he placed small kisses on my nose.

"Good....So you did all this today to get back at me?"

"Well yeah I wanted to have fun. But it's no fun when I too need to resist the urge to jump on you when you come out of the shower shirtless"

"Yeah about that I didn't know y/b/n was here or I wouldn't have walked out like that"

"I know baby. But now that we're alone so can we please just-" My words were cut off by his lips once more.

Giggling at his eagerness I began to palm him through his boxers once more.

"You don't know the things you do to me baby" He whispered pulling my bra down letting my breast fall free. I moaned as he began to suck on the left one and toying with the right one.

"God I missed these"

"Charlie please hurry up" I spoke. He didn't hesitate to remove my panties and his boxers immediately lining himself up at my entrance.

"You've been taking your birth control right?"

"Of course you idiot"

"Ooo aggressive much"

"Charlie if you don-" My words were cut off by a moan as he entered me. Not hesitating to start moving at a steady pace.

"Charlie" I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Faster"

"I'm so close baby"

"Me too" I panted as he sped up. His thrust becoming sloppier by the second.

"I'm gonna-" He groaned being the first to release. My climax coming not long after. I sighed as we rode our our highs together.

"I love you baby" Charlie said standing up and cleaning me off with a t-shirt of his.

"I love you too" I said as he finally came to lay next to me. Pulling the covers over us.

"You do know I really am proud of you right?"

"I don't know I think you need to prove it to me" I halfheartedly joked.

"If you insists" He whispered pulling me in for a sweet tender kiss.

Time slowing down as we spent the night tangled in each other's arms. Enjoying each other's company. Each other's love.

[oikawaplssteponme]

PART 4 | previously: part 3 | masterlist

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, mention of violence but there isn’t any

synopsis: When UA’s hot heads, Katsuki Bakugou and you, are forced to put your hatred for each other aside and plan the third year Prom, things end up getting a little heated...

a/n: hi friends!! okay so this part is a little longer but it’s important for what’s to come ;) because i just couldn’t help myself, there’s a little song reference in there, hopefully you catch it,, maybe it’s important *wink wink* anyways, taglist is open so just lmk if you’d like to be added 🖤 enjoy xx

•

Four: it’s what’s on the inside that counts

It’s been over 2 weeks since your fight with Bakugou. The two of you haven’t spoken since, leaving your classmates a bit nervous. You were stubborn and so was he. The only problem was, neither of you really remembered why you were fighting in the first place. You two fought often, that was obvious, but something about this last fight felt different. As if you and Bakugou genuinely wanted to hurt each other. In the past, it was mainly for your own satisfaction just to fight someone. You and Bakugou had disliked each other for so long that you couldn’t even think of a solid reason for why you hated him. You soon came to realize that you barely knew anything about Katsuki Bakugou...and that bothered you.

~

“LISTEN UP! Prom tickets will be on sale after school today in the common area. You can also buy them at the door but just know they’ll cost more. So I recommend you have your money ready and get in line early because I only have a certain amount for presale. Thank you that’s all!” You announced to your class. “Oh and pass this information onto the other classes please!”

You hopped down from the desk where you were standing and brushed your skirt down.

“Do you need help setting up?” asked Deku. You looked over at Bakugou, who was supposed to be helping you but since the two of you weren’t on speaking terms, that wasn’t really an option.

“Uh sure that’d be great,” you said.

“I’ll lend a hand as well,” chimed in Iida. You laughed.

“Guys all I need help with is moving a table and a few boxes,” you explained.

“We are happy to help!”

You, Deku, and Iida set up the ticket selling table. You placed the poster of the dance in front of the table. Izuku grabbed the box of tickets and looked through them.

“Y/N did you make these?” He asked. Your face got warm.

“Uh yeah, it’s not a big deal though,” you insisted.

“It’s excellent artistic work Y/N! You should be proud!” smiled Iida.

“Yeah it’s super cool!”

“Thanks guys,” you gushed. You sat down at the table and pulled out your notebook and pen.

“Alright! Who wants the honor of buying the first ticket?”

“You should, after all you planned the dance,” said Deku. You smiled.

“I guess you’re right.” You picked up the first ticket, wrote your name next to the #1 spot in your notebook, and put your money in the cash box.

“Okay. Who’s next?”

~

The line of people never seemed to end. You got in the groove of writing down their name, number, and putting away the money pretty quickly.

“Hey Momo! Uh you’re number 35,” you said to your classmate.

“Thanks, here you go!” She smiled, handing you the money.

“Y/N!!” cheered Mina, “wait is this the theme?” Mina pointed to the design on the tickets.

“Uh yeah it is,” you smiled.

“‘My Emotions Feel Like Explosions When You’re Around’,” read aloud Deku.

“I LOVE IT!! It’s super cute and honestly I would expect nothing less from you and Bakugou!”

Right. Bakugou.

“Uh yeah. I'm excited to see how it turns out once we get all the decorations.”

“Do any of you have dates yet?” asked Denki as he paid.

“Wow Denki is that your only concern?” laughed Jirou.

“I haven’t even thought about that,” said Iida.

“Planning on asking anyone?” You asked aloud.

“I am…” mumbled Deku.

“Wow Izuku wonder who?” said Kirishima sarcastically.

“Who are you gonna ask, Deku?” You asked. No one said anything. You turned around and saw all your friends staring at you.

“What…it was just a question…”

“Wait, you're like genuinely asking?” laughed Denki, “I thought it was obvious.” Deku hit Denki’s arm.

“It’s fine, it will be better if it’s a surprise anyway,” said Deku.

“Do you want someone to ask you, Y/N?” asked Sero, handing you his money. You put the cash in a box.

“I honestly don’t care. I wasn’t even planning on going to Prom before Aizawa forced me to plan it,” you admitted.

“Well we are all glad you’ll be there,” smiled Iida.

~

Your friends had all gone back to their dorms after a bit. There were still about 20 people in line for tickets and you were exhausted.

“Cafeteria closes soon dumbass,” said someone. You whipped around. You groaned.

“Well Katsuki, I’m kinda busy if you can’t tell,” you huffed.

“Go eat. I’ll finish up here,” he said. Your eyes grew.

“Wait what-”

“Go on, you only have 15 minutes before they close dinner. I've got this,” he insisted. You got up from your chair.

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“It can’t be that hard if you figured it out.”

You rolled your eyes

“Whatever. Just pick up when you’re done.” You began to walk down to the cafeteria.

Two weeks of not talking to me and that’s all he has to say?

“Grabbing some dinner?” called Iida behind you. You smiled.

“Yeah , Bakugou is finishing up the ticket sale.”

“Nice. I’ll join you.”

“Thanks Iida.”

~

“Cold soba?” questioned Iida, “You never get your soba cold.” You looked down at your tray of food.

“I guess Todoroki converted me,” you joked. Iida raised a brow.

“Alright Y/N, what is it? We both know you hate cold food,” he said. You picked at your soba.

“I’m fine honestly,” you mumbled.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with Bakugou, would it?” You whipped your head to look at Iida.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”

“That’s more like it!” He smiled. You chuckled.

“Well would it?” He asked. You shrugged.

“I guess this whole dance is stressing me out. Bakugou and I haven’t been very productive lately ,” you admitted. Iida sighed.

“Well this might be a stretch but you could try to make peace with him.” You groaned.

“I’m not making peace with that angry pomeranian until he apologizes.”

“Why can’t you just apologize?”

“BECAUSE I-I, I don’t know. My own stupid pride I guess.”

“You two need to overcome your differences eventually. Who knows, you guys might have more in common than you think,” smiled Iida.

“You’re the worst, you know that,” you joked.

“Wait really?”

“Iida…”

~

After dinner, you laid in your dorm room, staring up at the ceiling. You knew you should get some of the planning done but you also would rather just forget about the stupid dance. After about 10 minutes of contemplating, you headed down to the basement.

As you walked down the stairs, you remembered that Bakugou still had your notebook. You went down anyway, hoping to get some work done on your laptop instead. Much to your surprise, the door was propped open. You took a deep breath and prepared yourself for what could be behind the door.

“Hey Bakugou…” your voice trailed off as you saw that no one else was in the room.

He must’ve left the door open so I wouldn’t ask him for the keys.

You set down your things and sat down on one of the tables. You pulled out your laptop.

“I figured I’d find you here,” A raspy voice said. You looked up to see none other than Katsuki Bakugou, holding your notebook.

“Oh hi. I just thought I’d get some work done,” you explained.

“How’d you get in?”

“Uh you left the door open,” you explained. Bakugou huffed. He took a seat at the same table as you, setting down your notebook.

“Here dumbass.” Bakugou threw something on you and it landed on your head.

“What the-” You grabbed the soft material off of your head. Your eyes grew.

“Katsuki-”

“You said I owed you a new shirt, so here it is,” he said. You looked at the brand new t-shirt, a smile on your face.

“Yeah well I didn’t think you’d actually buy me one…”

“I mean I did rip your other shirt pretty badly. I-uh-I’m sorry about that.” Your eyes widened.

“Did you just say you’re sorry?”

“Yeah and I’m not saying it again.” he huffed.

“Bakugou I’m sorry too,” you said. Bakugou tilted his head.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I guess for everything. Well, maybe not everything because I don’t regret kicking your ass for 3 years one bit but I am sorry for that fight the other day. I almost killed you,” you explained nervously.

“Key word ‘almost’. I guess I almost did too,” he joked. You let out a nervous chuckle.

“Here’s the thing Bakugou, I don’t know anything about you yet I hate you with every ounce of my body. I guess I want to hate you for a reason.”

“What the hell does that mean, nerd?” He questioned. Your face got warm.

“You know how they say, ‘it’s what’s on the inside that counts’? Well,I want to hate you for what’s on the inside,” you laughed. Bakugou raised a brow.

“And what about you? The only thing I know about you is that you’ve got a short temper and your shirts rip easily. I barely know you either…”

He was right. Probably the only person who knew anything remotely deep about you was Iida, and even that was still somewhat surface level. You didn’t pick UA to get too comfortable with your classmates, even if you were friends, since in the real world you would be competing for the number one Hero spot. Maybe that’s why most of them were intimidated by you.

You patted on the top of the table, hinting for Bakugou to sit with you. He groaned and joined you on the table.

“This is stupid,” he mumbled. You rolled your eyes.

“Come on just try. And just to clarify, we are doing this for research purposes only. I’m convinced by the end of this I’ll still want to rip your head off 24/7,” you said. Bakugou nodded.

“Yeah I mean not like that could change.”

“Exactly. Okay so you first. What is it that makes Katsuki Bakugou a horrible pain in my ass?” You smiled sarcastically. Bakugou chuckled quietly.

“What do you want to know, dumbass?”

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @bokutory @complimentaryhugsgirl @cloudswritings @kriswu46 @neodnyl @evivn1 @jazzylove @mileven-reddie @whalerus @misssugarless @random-fandom-girl-24 @fanfiction-and-stress @ushiwakatrash @minhoswife @addictofsupernatural @the-shota-king-masayuki @freyafolkvangr @fourteenow @tamaguchi @lalayy @athenarosaline @blxck-coffee @katsukibabe @thatonegeekchick ]

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 1

Summary: Your past with Chris catches up with you.

A/N: Can’t say more than that or it gives stuff away! 😂 Taglist is open, if 

you want to be added let me know 💕

After a long day working at the local coffee shop the last thing i wanted to do was go to a club! But it was Sadie's leaving party so i had to make an appearance or id never hear the end of it.

It had actually been a really fun night, my first night out in what felt like years and after a few drinks i let myself enjoy it. I even had a couple of guys offer to buy me a drink! Just after midnight i caught a taxi home and left the younger girls to carry on with their partying..... how they did it i don't know! Most of them had had far too much to drink already and no intention of stopping any time soon. God i miss the days where i could do that!

When i finally got home i dropped my bag and my jacket next to the front door, went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and headed up to bed. I managed to throw on an oversized t-shirt before crashing face first into bed, the make up removal would have to wait til the morning i was too exhausted to care.

I woke up to my cell phone blaring loudly in my ear, i patted around for it keeping my eyes closed already feeling the hangover! I mumbled a 'hello' then heard the soft chuckle of my mom.

"Had a good night did you?"

"Mmm it was okay, i'm so not used to drinking anymore Ma. How do people do this every weekend?" I moaned as i slowly opened one eye then the other.

"I remember when you'd be out every weekend, you even ended up in Vegas that one weekend...."

"I remember believe me!" I said as i finally sat up grabbing the bottle of water from the bedside cabinet draining half of it.

"I was just wondering what time you were coming over?.... you said 10am but its almost lunch time"

"What??!! are you serious?.... shit. Okay let me go get a cup of coffee and take a quick shower and i'll be there"

"Okay sweetheart, no rush"

"Everything's okay?"

"Yeah yeah all good. I'll see you soon"

"Okay, bye mom".

I had just finished my coffee and was heading upstairs for a shower when the doorbell rang. I was going to ignore it but then whoever it was started knocking.

"Jesus.... give me a second" i muttered marching to the front door, i opened the door just a crack hiding behind the door due to my lack of pants! When i looked through the gap i gasped.... the last person i ever expected to see was stood on my doorstep.

"Chris...."

"Hey" he smiled nervously "sorry for just showing up like this but i didn't have your number. I tried calling the one i had for you but it was out of service"

"Yeah i had to change it a few years back..... wh...what are you doing here Chris?"

"Can we talk inside?.... i don't really wanna do this through a crack in your door" he laughed a little but it was more of a nervous laugh.

"Erm, sure can you give me a couple minutes to go put some pants on?... i was just about to get in the shower"

"Sure"

I nodded and closed the door before quickly rushing upstairs and grabbing my jean shorts from the chair where i had discarded them yesterday. I was just about to leave my room when i passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection "fuck!" I quickly grabbed a makeup remover wipe and cleaned my face of smudged mascara and run a brush through my hair.... it was no good,  the hair could not be saved! I quickly tied it up in a messy bun not minding the loose bits that fell out, it would have to do!

The living room was a mess so i closed the door leaving just the kitchen visible. Then i rushed over to let Chris in before he thought id run off and forgotten about him. He followed me through to the kitchen and took a seat at the table while i made us both a coffee.

"How you been? Its been a while since ive seen you" he asked softly.

"I guess it has been.... erm i'm good" i shrugged casually keeping my attention on the mugs as i made the coffee.

"Im glad. Seemed like you disappeared off the face of the planet, you just left. No one heard from you...."

"It was for the best, fresh start and all that"

"Im sorry for how we... how i left things"

I shrugged shaking my head

"you really don't have to apologise Chris, you made a choice...."

"A stupid choice..... i was young and very stupid...."

"Whats done is done, theres no point rehashing it... its been almost 7 years i'm over it" i scoffed picking up the mugs and joining him at the table.

"You are?"

"Of course!"

"Thats great" he nodded avoiding eye contact.

"Okay so spill it.... i don't mean to sound rude but i've got somewhere i need to be soon and i'm already running late....."

"Still cant handle your drink huh?" He finally looked at me smirking.

"Apparently not.... how'd you know?"

"Ive seen you hungover enough to know the signs, the hair and the face full of smudged makeup...."

"you saw that huh?"

"Yeah" he chuckled looking me over.

"So....."

"Right... i um....i need you to sign this" He said reaching inside his jacket and pulling out some papers.

"Sign what?..... what could you possibly need me to sign?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he pushed the papers across the table to me. I leaned forward to get a better look and the first thing my eyes landed on... "Petition For Divorce".

I felt my heart start to race as i looked up at Chris..... "what is this? I signed these 7 years ago Chris!"

"I know. I never filed them"

"What?! you mean we're still married?!"

"Yeah"

"Why? You told me you'd take care of it all...."

"And i was gonna, but i couldn't bring myself to do it"

"Jesus christ Chris!"

"Im sorry Y/N" he started to say but I shook my head as i got up to get a pen, when i sat back down and signed them without hesitation Chris made this noise, like i had offended him by signing the divorce papers without an argument.

"What?"

"Nothing, its just you signed them pretty quickly...."

"Chris, i signed these 7 years ago when i loved you.. why wouldn't i sign them again? There's no reason not to..... what we had has been over for years"

"I just thought maybe somewhere down the line we'd work things out"

"I didn't. Any thoughts of us working out ended when you broke up with me because your career was taking off and you liked the attention from all the girls"

"I was an idiot i know, i was just a kid...."

"Bullshit! If you were old enough to get married....you were old enough to know what you were doing".

He looked down shaking his head again, he actually looked ashamed of how he had acted. Maybe he had grown up.

My phone started ringing and i saw my mom's name flashing on the front.

"Hey mom..... oh god, yeah okay.... i'll be there in like 15 minutes i promise" i hung up after saying goodbye to her.

"Im sorry, but i've got to go. You got what you wanted" i shrugged pointing at the papers on the table, he folded them neatly and tucked them back inside his jacket.

"Thank you"

"Can i ask you something?"

"Anything"

"Why now? You didn't bother for 7 years"

"Ive been seeing someone..... its getting kinda serious now...."

"Right, i get it. Your ready for a new wife...." i shook my head suddenly feeling very sad about my past life with Chris "i didn't even get the chance to be your wife.... not really. That ain't worth shit" i pointed towards his jacket where i knew the papers were.

"Its not like that Y/N i swear, i just.... i want the option to be there if the time comes"

"Well i hope it works out better for you this time. Look i have to go......"

"Right okay, sorry. I'll get out of your way" he got up quickly and followed me through the kitchen and to the front door.

"It was good to see you, make sure you file those this time" i said as he walked towards his car.

"You got it, it was great seeing you too" he smiled before getting in his car and driving off.

"Hey Ma!" I called walking into my mom's house.

"Your late" she called from the sofa, i made my way to her and dropped down next to her.

"I know im sorry, you'll never guess who just turned up at my house??!"

"Who?"

"He who shall not be named!" I said quietly, my mom's eyes widened as she gasped "you mean...."

"Yep!" I nodded "turns out we've been married the last 7 years! He never filed.... he came by to ask me to sign them again"

"That boy has some nerve showing up here...."

"Yep"

"Did you sign them?"

"Of course i did"

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that" i shrugged "like i told him, i already thought it was done and over with, i haven't seen him in 7 years.... why wouldn't i sign them"

"Sweetheart....." my mom started to say something but was interrupted by the excited yell of 'MOM!" right before a small body crashed into mine.

"Hey buddy" i laughed hugging my baby close "have you been behaving for nana?"

"Yep, i'm always good" he rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around me "i missed you mom"

"I saw you yesterday baby" i chuckled running my hand through his brown hair before kissing the top of his head.

"I still missed you"

"Awww ain't you cute! I missed you too".

"Hey! I thought you liked staying with me? We had so much fun" my mom said trying to act offended but smiled when Mason started laughing.

"We had fun Nana, but i missed my mom" he looked up at me with his big blue eyes and i felt my heart swell with love for my baby boy.... well he wasn't a baby anymore, it was hard to believe he'd be turning 6 in a few days.... how time flies.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

[httphoneyb]

Fatal | Mobster!Tom x OC!

Summary: Violet Thorne and Tom Holland are both on opposing sides in the midst of a mob war. What happens when fatal collides with dangerous?

t w o

--

"Dad, I don't know what you want me to do here!" Violet sighed loudly throwing her hands in the air. Her father watching her pace back and forth infront of his desk.

"My love, I don't understand why you insist on me giving my seat to your brother. You are my first born thus, it's yours," he explained in a hushed tone.

"I want out of this dad! I've been trying to get out of this! And I can't do that i-if you keep dragging me back in!" Violet didn't understand how her father couldn't comprehend what she's been trying to say for the past hour.

The skin on her arm felt raw. Her nails dragged across it continuously since the topic was brought up.

"Then explain to me why, Violeta!" He stood slamming his hands on the dark oak desk.

Violet knew he had a rule about speaking to his children calmly, reserving his assertive voice for their enemies and prisoners.

He was always a gentle man around her and her brothers, some would say you wouldn't be able to tell he ran a mob while he was around his children. This circumstance was a rarity in her family.

So she stood and let the silence envelope the room.

"Exactly my point. You have no reason for wanting to be out of the business. Not a valid one anyway."

When in fact she did.

Her whole life Violet watched her brothers grow up like soldiers. As soon as they could walk, a gun was placed into their hands and the boys were taught how to shoot.

She didn't want a family like that. She's terrified to have a family like that.

"This could all be yours, my love. This...this empire was built on first borns, you are to continue it on. I'm growing old, Violeta. I need you to take my place. Especially when we're in the midst of a war."

"A war?"

"The Hollands have been crossing multiple mob boundaries in the past months. They're making alliances with the Diaz mob and broke their truce with the Rizzos. They're expanding. I can't do this on my own, Violeta."

"Pappa but you're not on your own..theres five other boys in the house waiting to take your spot. Leo has a knack for this, Dad. Use him!"

He chuckled lowly, "We both know you'd give Leonardo a run for his money."

"That's not my point. What I am saying is tha-" Violet was cut off by Luca, the youngest of the six, as he swung the wooden doors open doors open.

"We found the mole," was all he said before turning around and leaving.

"Mole? What mole?" Violet walked with her father out of his office, confusion written all over her face.

"Some of our info was leaked and other mobs got ahold of our shipments, drug and weapon outlets, even some safe houses." She could feel her father getting angrier as she reached the basement of their mansion.

"What?!"

Angelo, the third oldest joined them, "We found a usb full of our shipment dates and outposts. It was a cook, says the Hollands sent him."

Of course it was

She watched her father take out knives and guns as he headed for the lowest floor. The mere smell of that place made her stomach churn.

"You coming?" Angelo stopped midstep and turned to her.

"Yeah I'm just gonna save myself the trouble and head out for the day," Violet backed away from the flight of stairs.

"Hey Vi..just so you know, you're gonna have to suck it up one day, this job has no place for personal morals," Angelo turned around and decended the stairs, leaving Violet chewing at her lip.

What if he was right?

What if she really just needed to suck it up?

What if this was meant for her?

What if

What if

What if

Wh-

"Earth to Violet!" Leo waved a hand infront of her face.

The raven haired girl was dragged out of her own throughts.

"Tom wants to talk to you." Leo whispered, afraid that their father someone would hear.

Violet's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Tom? Tom Holland?"

"Yes Tom Holland! Who else!" Her brother sighed in annoyance, "He sent a letter this morning, good thing I got to it before Dad."

A light blue envelope was placed in her hand.

"A letter? Guy doesn't own a phone?" she scoffed, eyes skimming through the writing, the letters were smooth and neat, contrasting the many wrinkles on the paper.

"He's traditional I guess. Whatever. It just says he wants to meet with you to discuss some things blah blah blah...some thing about weapons yadda yadda.." Leo talked animatedly. His hands always waving around as he spoke.

"Why not Dad? I'm not in charge."

"Dad has it out for him, he's paranoid these days. Thinks everyone's out to get him."

"And what if it's a trap?"

"I'll have men tail you for protection, but other than that I think this is you know...good."

"Good? Good how?"

"Look, I don't wanna see this war that Pappa's been talking about happen. People will die. If theres a way to stop it, I think only you can pull it off."

"As much as I'm flattered, there's no point in me talking to him. I'm not taking Dad's place."

Leo rolled his eyes at his stubborn sister.

"No one said anything about that! Just go talk to him and see what he wants!"

"Fine."

"Yes!"

"But-"

"Oh no."

"You have to handle that southwest gang of criminals scamming our casinos."

"Ugh."

---

"Have they replied?" Tom asked as Harrison walked into the room.

"She's on her way now, actually. Eager girl," Harrison chuckled. "What do you want with her anyway?"

"Nothing harmful. Just trying to see if she could hold her own." Tom smirked as the burn of scotch travelled down his throat.

Violet rolled up to the front of the Holland mansion, a bit bigger than the Thorne's but then again, who's keeping track these days? Right?

Sam Holland walked to the car and opened the door for Violet. "Miss Thorne."

Violet took his hand and bent to look back at her driver in the car.

"When should I pick you up ma'am?"

"I'll call for you, Artie. Thank you." she smiled gratefully and followed the twin into the house.

"Bring a weapon with you, Thorne?" Harrison called from the top of the foyer.

"You think I'm gonna go into enemy territory without one?" she retorted. "Whoa! Kid! What're you doing!"

"Can't take any chances." Sam began to pat her down staring from her waist.

"Think we're gonna roll and show our bellies just cos you're a woman?" Harrison chuckled.

"I was counting on it.." she pouted as Sam seized her gun.

"Now there's no need for that ,Sammy." All of a sudden Tom appeared next to Harrison and started decending the stairs. "Don't you know how to treat a lady?" He grinned at her, "Let her keep the gun."

"Tom-"

"Let her keep the gun." Venom dripped from Tom's voice as he spoke slowly, "After all, this is just a casual talk right?" His eyes moved to hers, an ominous meaning behind his words unsettled her but stayed holding his gaze.

"Sure is." she took her gun back and slipped it on the band on her jeans as Tom looked behind her and whispered, "Then tell your men to turn around and go home."

Violet's heart dropped to her stomach and turned, the men Leo had sent with her we're parked outside the gates of the mansion, headlights turned off and obvious guns in hand. She sighed and called her brother.

"Yeah?"

"Tell them to go home." she said simply into the phone as Tom smirked at her.

"Vi, you can't be serious."

"Just do it."

She hung up the phone and threw a taunting smile at the boys before her.

"Follow me." Tom led Violet up the stairs and into what she assumed was his office. Much like her father's, the office was very manly and dark.

Taking a seat infront of his desk she asked, "Why am I here, Holland?"

"I want a cut of your drug profits." Tom said simply.

"And what do I get in return?" Violet leans forward to place her forearms on the desk.

"Safe travels. I know that for years your family has been funneling your weapons through my side of the city to get to them across the Atlantic. And for years my guys have been giving you trouble," Violet nods, pouring herself her own cup of scotch, "All I'm asking for is say..20% of your drug profits and I let your guys through with no hassle."

Violet finally breaks eye contact with Tom and doubles over in laughter, catching the mob boss off guard.

"20%?! Ha! You're delusional." She scoffs at him.

He stared at her with a look of both amusement and annoyance.

"Mr. Holland," Violet recollected herself as she sat with poise, sharp eyes looking at the man before her, "did you know that my family runs America's biggest underground drug cartel? We have 8 different bases across the country, and 2 abroad. Bringing in approximately twenty-million dollars a year each. You're asking me to cut 20% of my 200 million a year to..what," she did the math quickly in her head as Tom gaped at her in disbelief, "$160,000,000 for safe travels, as you put it, for one of our outposts?You've gone insane. Your men aren't anything mine can't handle. Now if you'll excuse me."

Tom ran his calloused hands up and down his face in exhaustion. Man she was a hassle.

"Wait."

Violet sat back down and looked at him in boredom.

"15%"

"Eight."

"Thirteen."

"Six."

"Fifteen."

"Six."

"Twelve."

"Three."

Tom cussed outloud and leaned back in his chair. "8% and I'll tell you what the Rizzo's down south are planning."

"Why would I care about some shithole mob?" Violet scoffed at his poor attempt to negotiate.

"They're trying to kill you."

Tom saw that what he said piqued the stubborn girls interest.

"Fine. 16 million a year. Now, tell me more."

Tom inwardly smirked at this, "They think that killing you would kill your empire. They know Robert would never give his seat to anyone else. And they also know you're refusing to take it. If you're gone..all they have to do is wait for your dad to die and your mob along with it."

The room was filled with silence as a million thoughts ran through Violet's mind.

"Huh," she chuckled.

She's laughing? Why would she be laughing at the fact someone's trying to kill her? Tom thought to himself.

"Guess that's just another thing on my list," she got up and slid her coat on, "enjoy your sixteen million, Holland."

"Pleasure doing business with you, Violet." The pair shook hands before Violet said, "Buy your share under a different name, my dad would never sell to a Holland."

"Will do," Tom walked her to the front door, "And for the record..I wouldn't mind you being the business, Violet. You'd be a worthy opponent." Tom complimented her genuinely.

Violet only looked back at him, winking she said, "You bet your sweet ass I'd be."

Tom chuckled as the click of her heels faded and Harrison was at his side.

"So...?"

"Ferocious that one.. smart too." Tom had a sly smile decorating his face.

"But I've got her right where I want her."

---

taglist:

@scuzmunkie

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for themes and language

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for any OOC-ness.

Chapter 9

Kihyun

After the stunning revelations of the night before, I was having a slow day at work. It wasn't that I was off by much, but that I was exhausted, so I was a little slow on the uptake.

It was nearing three when we wrapped up recording for the day. Generally, we have more stuff to do, but today was an easy day. We were released to the dorm, and I went to go grab a nap. Sadly, though, all I could do was twist and turn. I decided to get up and read the next chapter.

Bryn PoV

It had been a few weeks since I talked to anyone. I had sent Kihyun's money back the very next day, slightly afraid it wouldn't make it. But seeing his face on my phone three hours later had me smiling.

"Hey! What's up," I asked.

He sighed. "Did you seriously send it back already?"

"Yep."

"Why," He asked. "Anyone else would have kept it."

"But I'm not anyone else. I hate asking for help. If I ask for anything, I never ask for money."

"Why," he asked.

"I make enough to be comfortable."

"Comfortable, huh? What's comfortable?"

"Pay the bills and have a little left over. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"Just wondered. There is so much more I want to ask, but I-I'm not quite sure how to ask."

I laughed. "It's always been my experience, that it's better to just get it out there."

He swallowed, thickly, "Umm. Ok. Uh. What do you do?"

After taking a deep breath, I answered, "I own a yarn shop and I am a Natural Health Consultant."

"Wow," He whispered. "What does a Natural Health Consultant do?"

I chuckled. Most people wanted to know about the shop, not my degree. "I-um-I work with peoples primary care physician to get folks the best healing possible. It's generally in the cases of heart disease, diabetes, and stubborn skin rashes," I laughed.

"Now, that is cool," he smiled. "So, is it just a side hustle?"

"No," I laughed, "But most people don't see a Traditional Naturopath, they see an N.M.D. However, most integrated medicine places here have at least one natural health professional they work with, depending on the clients needs."

"Wow. You really are more than just a pretty face."

"Who told you I have a pretty face?"

"Joey let me see pics. You're beautiful, by the way."

I could not help the blush that slowly spread across my face. "Thank you. I think you are pretty handsome, yourself."

"Aww," he gushed, "No, I'm not."

"Agree to disagree, there, Sweet Pea."

"Joey," he asked.

"Joey," I agreed.

He chuckled, "Do you get the feeling he's trying to set us up?"

Laughing, I answered, "I do. But I think he may be right. You know he sees stuff, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I was the first person in our group he told. Oh God. Umm. I need to be honest. I'm not sure how to say it, so I will just lay my hand down here. I-uh-I-um-I have dreamed about you since I was a kid."

I could tell he was biting his lip.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me something no one else would know.

"Ok," he started. "Um-You have nightmares where you are lost in the woods and screaming for someone."

"How did you," I started.

"I have them, too; but from the other side. I can hear you screaming but I can't seem to find you."

"Haka," I asked, softly, tentatively.

"Hey," He answered.

If I hadn't been sitting at my desk, I would have been on the floor. "Oh, God," I whispered. After a pause, I said, "I don't know whether to scream, cry, or throw up."

He laughed. "Well, hopefully none of those things. Please don't scream, hearing it in dreams is bad enough. Please, don't cry, because I'm not there to fix it. And Please, God, Please, don't throw up."

"Sympathetic puker?"

"Yes," He answered. "I want to see you."

"Not a good idea. Not with what is going on in the world, right now."

"True. A year from now? I hate to try to plan that far ahead, but maybe, just maybe, things will work out."

"Well, there is normally a convention in Hawaii in early summer."

"I will try to save as much PTO time as I can between now and then. Cross your fingers and hope."

"Fingers crossed," I said.

"I've got stuff to do, so I will talk more later, Ok?"

"Sure, I answered.

"I'm gonna say this, and please don't freak out, but I have felt it for a long time and," He rambled.

"Haka," I yelled, cutting him off. "I know. I already know," I said before I bit my lip. "I know how you feel, trust me, I do. I feel it, too. You aren't crazy, nor are you alone." I swear I could feel his smile and his relief. "But, my dear, I am nothing to write home about."

"Are you kidding me," He started, "I have been in love with you since I was 15. Woman, I could write volumes about you, and still have several lifetimes worth to say. You, Woman, You are amazing."

Blushing, I replied, "I don't see how."

Kihyun PoV

I could feel her blushing. "Then I will keep telling you until you have no doubts. You are amazing, you are awesome, and I," I stopped.

"I know," she whispered.

"Good," I replied.

I started to nod off so I set the story off to the side for the night, and got ready for bed. She curled up behind me and snuggled into the back of my neck.

'Night, Haka. Rest well, my King.'

'Night, Mami.'

I was so focused on sleep, I did not notice the slight tickle in my chest that happens with her sometimes. If I had, I would have felt the slight sorrow and could have held off the nightmare that night.

As it sat, she came and tucked me in as usual, but a few hours after I had fallen asleep in her arms, I had the worst nightmare.

I was, again, in those woods, and this time I was the Elk. She was there and that band around her ankle had her trapped. She was screaming as the band and rope that had her hobbled became razor wire cutting into her skin. I could not do a thing to help her.

But, my blind panic and pain must have ruffled the thread between us because in that moment, as I made my decision to lay down with her for support and comfort, I felt her spirit beside me, soothing me and telling me, 'It's just a dream, Love. I am here. Wake up, Haka, it's just a dream.'

In my state of half asleep and still with the residual images in my head, I rolled to where I felt her, and curled around her.

Her touch was both soothing and calming. 'Tell me what you saw?'

I shook my head as echo's of the images assaulted me again. I could still smell her blood in the air. I could still feel her fingers scramble for purchase on my pelt as she struggled to stand, could still hear the echo of her screams as the razors went deeper into her skin.

'I'm going after Joey. I'll be right back, my love. Hold on,' I heard her whisper in my hair.

In less that 20 seconds, a firm hand was on my arm. I had no more than sat up.

Honey POV

I was sound asleep when I felt a small but strong hand on my arm. 'Joey, Wake Up,' was all but shouted in my ear. I knew that voice. My sister. The fog stubbornly refused to lift.

'C'mon. Get up, Lu-Lu! Kik needs you,' was shouted as an outer presence shook my arm.

I was up and off like a rocket at that. She is the only person I will EVER allow to call me that version of 'Red'. And I know that her calling me that in the middle of the night means right now. I took off down the hall, following the sobs.

There was Kihyun, sitting on his bed, tears pouring down his face. I recognized the panicky look on his face as one I had seen on my own several times. I felt the presence of my soul sister, her spirit sweeping past me to settle next to him. He seemed to sag against her spirit, drawing strength and serenity from her. I couldn't hear the conversation, but I knew, somehow, she was soothing him.

It hit me then, just how perfect they are together. I could almost see his head resting against her shoulder as her arm was around him, petting him, in a fashion.

He suddenly shook his head and said, "No. I don't even want to think about it or what it means. Cause if it means that they are gonna hurt you before you get away..." he trailed off, as he shook his head. Then he near shouted, "No. It's a chance I won't take. I won't allow you to sacrifice yourself like that. Not for me, not again."

Then, I heard her again, 'Then tell him or I will.'

He sighed and whispered, "Alright, my love. I'll tell him." Looking at me, he said, "Best get everyone up, I only want to tell this story once. Seeing it once was enough."

Everyone got woken up and gathered in the living room as Kihyun settled into an easy chair with a pillow and a blanket.

From the far end of the couch, Min growled, "What happened, and why are we all awake?"

From his chair, Kihyun answered, "Another nightmare. She thinks I should share this one with you."

As they all sat back, Kik seemed to turn his head slightly and nod then whisper, "Love you, Ghost."

The unseen presence in the room swept off and left us.

I looked at him curiously.

"She went back to her place to handle some things there with the kids," he sighed and started, "Tonight, as I laid down to sleep, I cuddled with my Queen like I normally do. There is a thin silver thread that connects our souls, much like the red thread, but far older. I didn't notice the small flutter of her sorrow, and somehow, unconsciously, it became a nightmare.

"I have had nightmares before of her being trapped in the woods. This time, I was an elk. And while the normal vines were gone this time, there was this black band around her right ankle that attached to a rope and had her more or less hobbled to that bit of earth.

"As I came up on her, she was fighting to get it off. I leaned forwards to help her but the second I got within, I'd say a foot or so, it turned into razor wire and was cutting her foot off.

"I couldn't do anything to help her, and she could not get loose. The more she fought to loosen it, the tighter it got. Then, as she scrambled to hold on to me, I could smell her blood. She wrapped her hands in my pelt and was trying to stand, but the razors cut her deep. I could hear and feel her screaming. As I settled in next to her to offer what comfort I could, Her spirit woke me up. When it became obvious, I needed a bit more help, she woke up Honey. I have never been so afraid for her."

Min stood up and directed him back to bed, saying, "Go get a bit more sleep," as he left the room. When Min returned, he asked me, "What did you see about her?"

"Other than the way she sat? Not much. She is damned good at cloaking. So good she is damned near a chameleon."

"Do you think she would come back and let us see," asked HyunWoo, his brow knotted with worry.

I nodded, "She might."

Min sat down on the rug, between the coffee table and the entertainment center. "If we are going to help our soul sister, we had best get comfy, it may be harder than we think to fix it."

About that time, a presence entered the room.

'He's back to sleep. I figured you would want to talk to me.'

I nodded. 'Let Min see your ankle.'

I have never seen Min turn that exact shade of green before turning that shade of red. When he does, it generally means it is BAD.

'What the hell, Sis! Are you actively trying to make yourself lame,' Min shouted. 'There is a curse here. This is beyond my help. Stay here, I need to go get Ate,' Min said as he stood up.

Ten seconds later, He and HyungWon were walking into the room.

A second after that, Kihyun was scrambling back down the hall.

HyungWon was looking at Sis's ankle when Kiki opened his eyes enough to see what was going on.

'Baby, what's wrong?'

'Joey wanted Min to check out my ankle. Min went after Ate,' she said.

'This curse is very powerful. It will take all of us, together, to break it. Boys, get ahold of it. Kihyun, hang on to her,' he said before yelling for Changkyun.

When he rounded the corner at a run, HyungWon said, 'Mahipiya. Washte. IkiyA nitha Ate kichi Ina.'

Changkyun gathered the woman in his arms and nodded at her whisper, before growling at Kihyun.

"What?" asked HyunWoo.

"That is your nephew."

"Of course he is," HyunWoo grumbled as he sat up, only to be cuffed in the back of the head by HyungWon.

"We have bigger things than your sister's descendants to handle. Unfortunately, I fear this will be too much for us to handle,' He said as he sat back and grabbed his phone, sending out a quick text.

In less than 15 minutes, Hoseok was knocking on the door.

'Ahh. Glad you could make it on such short notice," HyungWon said as he opened the door.

A/N)--

Once again....I tried with the Lakota.

Mahipiya. Washte. IkiyA nitha Ate kichi Ina.--Cloud. Good. Help your father with your mother.