#And now he's dead and none of it matters
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#Ignore me#4 months is quickly coming up... 4 months since Alec died#Every moment of every day I'm at a loss for what to do#And how to behave#Keeping myself busy at work is nice. I have#To be forced to use my brain other ways and do things#But by the end of the day I'm so unbelievably exhausted#I'm just masking as a happy-okay person.#I spend the quiet time at work rotating this new reality#It's exhausting to pretend to be okay#But what else am I supposed to do?#It's not fair to the people around me to constantly be on the brink of crying.#To be sad and quiet and idk. I don't want their pity or sad looks#But sometimes I do just wanna scream#I don't always want to hear about their recent adventures#I want to curl up in a ball because my regrets are eating me from the inside out#I fucked up an important part of my life because I'm a coward and#I was juggling too many trashfires in my life to deal with the messy place#We left our friendship. I thought there was time. There should've been time.#A whole lifetime to figure it out. Make things worse. Make things better.#To be happy#And now he's dead and none of it matters#I'm supposed to live the rest of my life now#I don't know how to do that anymore#Nothing feels right or real#Every atom of my being keeps raging against the truth#He's gone#The sweet boy that would make me laugh... share my love of myth & language...#Carry me bridal style... kiss every inch of my face... kiss the palm of my hand#And then hold it to his chest to fall asleep....
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Let him grow taller, she asked the gods. Let him know sixteen, and twenty, and fifty. Let him grow as tall as his father, and hold his own son in his arms. Please, please, please
jace’s death hardened her, burning away her fears and leaving only her anger and hatred. still possessing of more dragons then her half brother, her grace now resolved to use them, no matter the cost. she would rain down fire and death upon aegon and all those who supported him, and either tear him from the iron throne or die in the attempt.
#MY EDIT /#&&. my strength and consolation | jace#like the lady stoneheartification of rhaenyra targaryen except she’s not dead#except she didn’t die. She didn’t die and he did and even if she didn’t think her claim worth it after her usurpation with how devastated#she was by visenya and by grief and by the shock of it#his was#HE was and everything he represented and could’ve been as king died with him#and god like#‘ no matter the cost’ being repeated after she said in the first black council#‘ at what cost - my sons would be riding three of those dragons’ and two out of three of them are dead now#but anyway#ANYWAY#like from that point on it wasn’t about the throne or her claim it was#about making sure none of them sat it#about making sure they LOST#mutuals who write#jace can rb
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Brain in Daylight Hours: There is no mental or emotional space for writing. There are no new ideas, and no structure for old ideas.
Brain after Dark: Here's 38 new ideas, 3/4 of a structure, official permission to write, and -- oh. The only place to write in the dark is your phone? ... Never mind.
#writing#well#not writing at the moment#I saw a post about characters doomed by the narrative#and the fridged wife trope#and it got me thinking about Apricots#about whether Jess should be dead from the start#and how much it matters that it's a multi-POV story with hers as one of the vital points of view#and whose POVs are ultimately included#and how they kind of mimic the classic 5 stages of grief in a way#but each has to escape their part of that cycle in one form or another#and about how each is a reflection of me in some way because of course they are because that's how I write things#and about how the villains are a reflection of my views about certain things too#and about how the story takes shape#and how it's someone who was dead long before Jess was ever born who's really been doomed from the start#Basil is doomed by the narrative and he knows this#Jess thinks she's doomed by the narrative but she has the chance to change that#Noah resents the narrative because he believes someone has to be doomed by it and he hates the idea of anyone being doomed#Ian thinks there has to be a way out of the narrative if he can just move props around the stage the right way#Kade finds the events of the narrative lonely and sad but knows that clinging to a prologue only makes the rest harder to read#Luciana has believed most of these things at some point#now she believes that while the narrative deserves to be destroyed the characters in it do not so all she can do is endure#and none of these are exactly organized thoughts#or give me any insight into the structure of the plot#or the things I've been struggling with#but it was almosf coherent for a whole hour tonight#and only the idea that writing on my phone until 2 or 3 am would hurt my wrists/hands/eyes stopped me#if only I could keep the light on just a little longer at night#it's a risk to my budgie's health and I refuse to do that#but I wish I could write in the hours my brain says I'm allowed to write...
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NO because Izzy shouldn't have died purely because hes PART OF THE SHIP. HES THE NEW UNICORN
#LIKE THE WHOLE POINT IS HE ISNT AN AUTHORITY FIGURE EBUT HES A UNIQUE AND INHERENT PART OF THE CREW. UGH#its so frustrating#its just like. none of his accomplishments feel meaningful anymore#him being the new unicorn him singing at calypsos birthday his conversation with Stede him telling Lucius to move on. none of it matters no#a character whos arc was partially about learning to accept help should be able to die old recieving help.#and yeah ! some deaths are tragic and thats the point#But izzys death was so rushed that again. its not MEANINGFUL.#dont fight me on this i dont have the energy /lh#most of the issues i have with the finale are fine cus i know they can be solved in s3 but Izzy is just dead forever now. hes just gone.#UGHHHHHHHH so disappointing#ofmd spoilers#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#izzy ofmd
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I could/should elaborate when I’m not falling asleep as I am rn but like. I feel like for the people who you “mourn” who have died young and/or suddenly who you knew only in passing, or only casually interacted with, or were once close to but in the years between then and their death you barely spoke, etc etc etc, you arent actually mourning them or their presence in ur life (and now palpable absence) (supposedly) but just what it means to be a human on earth who has to grapple with inevitable loss and the immense weight of what a Person is and their footprint on everyone they interact with that is fleeting even tho there are several billions of us on the floating rock but none of those billions of lifetimes are ever overlapping 100%…. sigh :/
#context a student who graduated last semester (undergrad) died in a car crash like 500 miles away#and one of my fellow grad students/TAs and a few of his former profs are so upset about it and like………#u barely knew this kid I mean of course I feel terrible that someone with his life ahead of him was snuffed out in the blink of an eye#but like…….. if u had never found out about this. or if this hadn’t happened and he went on to live a boring long life#he would mean next to nothing to u !!! u would be none the wiser! u would probz not even recognize his name in 10 years! why are u crying!!!#idk I would be less ANNOYED and hashtag BOTHERED by it if the same people didnt say such nasty derogatory shit about their undergrads#like every other time I talk to u about mundane news ur complaining about how ur students are all lazy untalented idiots#but now THIS ONE who was never meaningful to u before THIS GUY is SPECIAL to u…? u mourn him?#2 weeks ago if I showed u his student ID photo u would struggle to remember his name but NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING#NOW THAT HES GONE AND IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER ANYMORE NOW HE MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU#tldr if ur still reading lmao I feel like this stuff is always about yourself and almost never about the dead person#which is valid in its own way I mean I’ve literally cried after passing mangled cars and ambulances with people who defs aren’t gonna surviv#but it’s never been about their life’s overlap with mine and retconning some kind of memorable or emotional significance to it#idk why I’m so emotional about this in like 3 separate directions but it’s just so fucking frustrating !!!!!!! 🥲🤡
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last week I started playing trigaea and it introduced the character of [REDACTED] to me and I loved him soooo much I went through the motions I did all the tedious battling and got every single upgrade I was gonna complete the game in one whole night with my sole motivation being "I wanna see [REDACTED] again!!!!!!" and then it turned out [REDACTED] was Dead All Along and I deleted trigaea
#like its never been that serious to me until now#the aliens were like “help us kill the humans and robots”#and the robots were like “help us kill the aliens and humans”#and the humans were like “help us kill the robots and aliens”#mc is way better than me bc atp I couldnt gaf like my babygirl is dead!!!!!!! let everyone kill each other none of them matter to me#mind u I had been a complete pacifist I talked things through with every enemy when that didnt work I scared them away#felt like achilles going on his murder rampage when patroclus died#k maybe thats a little dramatic. trigaea was a decent game and the story was very interesting and cool#also it gave no inclination that [REDACTED] had survived honestly his death makes a lot of sense plot wise#when he was like “happy anniversary babe 😊” I immediately went wowww ur kinda giving dead wife in a detective film#but come on!!!!!!!! couldnt he have pulled a sakazaki yuuya????#(revived off screen and joins everyone in the happy epilogue lol)#didnt finish the game so maybe that happened 👉😑👈 lalalala
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josh not being able to survive the violent revolution is absolute bullshit that makes me mad to this day, but what even is death in an android world? if you gave him enough blue blood and had spare body parts on hand, would be able to come back?
#like if the jericrew succeed and gain access to android production plants could they bring josh back to life?#he doesn’t get shot in the head so his main operating system/memories/personality should be fine right?#although even if he was shot in the head markus has clearly proven that even that isn’t a permanent roadblock#ig you could make a case for josh not /wanting/ to come back to a victory won by a violent method but i chose to trust him as a man of his#word and if he says that he’ll follow markus no matter what then he’ll follow markus no matter what!#idc what the actual answer is: i now accept this as canon 🙏#like i get that a choice based videogame has to have meaningful consequences for your choices for it to feel like an actual experience but#none of your choices impact if josh lives or dies!! the ONLY thing that means he dies in the final chapter is if you pick the violent#revolution!! nothing else!! not your relationship!! not your success as a leader up until this point!! absolutely nothing!! just as soon as#you pick anything other than demonstration he’s dead#it just makes me so goddamn sad like :( josh who never wanted this choosing to go against his morals because he 100% believes that markus is#the one who will lead the androids to freedom. and none of that matters because he gets gunned down the second he steps into battle :(#he must’ve been so scared :(#josh#dbh#mine
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i love kirby super star fanfic or comic adaptations where marx and kirby are actually best friends during the course of the entire game and marx blindsides kirby, to the point where i want to do something soooort of similar with my kirbyverse, but i also just kinda love how in canon marx was just like “im gonna very specifically ruin this guys week”
#i think marx is less outright evil and murdery and more ''i just want to fuck around with no one to stop me''#saw itsquakey say that marx seemed to be an antagonist more out of petty antagonism where he just wanted to play tricks with no backlash#and i gotta replay milky way wishes again to verify that bc ill admit i never paid that much attention to his dialogue but thats interesting#or at least it differentiates him from magolor a bit more#who more or less just outright wants to rule the universe#im torn on whether or not i want him and kirby to be besties tho#for one im like. so unsure if i want him to be the same age as kirby#bc ngl ive always seen marx as rather young so i saw him and kirby as being the same age at one point#and magolor was also the same as them. but now i firmly see magolor as like in his early 20s or so mentally#mayyybe a late teen at best? and i feel like if he and marx are gonna be a duo itd be cool to keep em the same age?#but then i want marx and kirby to be like. direct parallels in some way like idk. theyre the same age yet had totally different circumstance#that shaped who they became (still sort of want to play into my ''marx is a mirror of kirby'' hc from when i was little)#ig i could just also age up kirby but like youll have to pry child kirby from my dead hands#none of this matters ik its not like i ship marxolor or marxby or anything (anymore) but like idk#maybe im overthinking it LOL#idk tho basically idea is that marx and kirby are actually childhood best friends who've known each other since they were newborns#but like. besides that i have no ideas sdklfjsdlkfjsdlkfsd i used to have an edgy ass backstory for marx where his parents were murdered#and thats valid if you have something like that for his backstory but idk if i want to go that route anymore#bc marx is less villainous here and more ''i have no real moral compass and i want to fuck with people''#idk im throwing spaghetti at the wall btw nothing here is verified at all#echoed voice
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sunflowers in our hair
#in a cathartic way. Children of the Sun came on and that was a Yahar'gul song and i need to get over - i mean no. i Am getting over#the fact that post-false-memories im going to have complex feelings about that place. especially meeting Agnus there and he showed me#his studio and i know it was mindspace stuff but it was one of my early post-cult spiritual experiences and like#his studio ITS NOT... REALLY ACTUALLY A THING. it isnt astral. BUT its been a big inspo to my art since i saw it and#like. idk. it may have been mindspaces... both Lull and Agnus' but it was a nice place when it was Agnus and also#im struggling against false memories by saying ''literally nothing happened none of it was significant'' i think its more helpful to say#that the story was important to me. the fiction felt like home. doesnt matter that it was fictional right now what matters is it felt like#home and ill go from there. i enjoyed the story. and. you two alongside other spirits saved my fucking life#agnus if you hadnt fucking come in when you did id be dead. that goes for multiple people but like. each individual experience#of saving my fucking life deserves to be honoured lmfao.#OC: Agnus#as in.#Spirit: Eastern Sun#Spirit: Red Sky#<- in fictional masks bc thats all i would listen to when i was a pc pagan#Primogenitor's Child#<- going to be my bb tag instead of brutally butchering the world. i wont be using it often but#Spiritual Art
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THEY DID NOT MAKE SKY ZONE FOR THE FAT PEOPLE
#The first thing i did was go on the diving thingy into the foam pit and i got STUCK IN THE PIT#AND THE WORKER SPENT LIKE 5 MINUTES TRYING TO GET ME OUT#AND I WANTED TO GO AGAIN BUT WHEN I LOOKED DOWN THE DROP AND I SAW THE SQUARES OF SOFT FLUFFY MATERIAL#MY LIFE FLASHED BEFORE MY E YE S#How could this happen to me#i had fun i think im done now tho i didnt do much but must of it is just foam pits and i dont wanna go in there again#It was traumatizing guys i was like ctommy in exile#How he had the fucking BALLS of STEEL to jump off that tower#Tje drop was only 6ft but i wanted to kill myself#Every step i took i just sunk further#my brother told me before how i could suffocate as joke#And all i could think about was what if i cant get out what if im stuck here forever#it wasnt the embarrassment that deterred me it was the idea alone of not having the ability to pull myself out#how can i turn this into a metaphor for ctommy.#something something carrying the dead weight of himself out of the pit with his scars and all being a symbol for all the trauma hes faced#Uhh something something someone is holding your hand trying to pull you out but none of it matters in the end#Sorry.for using my ptsd from skyzone to fuel my ctommy meta. Um
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yesterday i made a comment like oh if i was married and my husband did this i think id be really upset and my mum and brother immediately started arguing that im annoying and dumb and 'one of those people that's never done anything but reads a lot and thinks she knows everything' <- let it be known that these are the people that start a fight and protest everytime i try to do anything. they didn't even let me move away for uni and then complain that i have no life experience. babes YOURE the one that would get mad if i was even friends with a boy.
#ameera speaks#one time at parents evening my teacher commented that i talk alot to the boy i sit with and my mum got mad and swore at me the entire car#home. 5 yrs later - meera you dont know what men are like#they didnt even know of the existence of one of my closest friends until after he died and then they got mad at me for being friends with#a guy in the first place. like okay well hes dead now nothing happening there#one guy lived near me so wed walk home from school together and one time my mum saw us and got mad#i went alone on the train for the first time a few months ago and i could only go because my parents were abroad#like dont actively restrict someones ability to have life experience and then complain they have no life experience#all of that aside. none of that matters when i say if mt partner did something it would upset me#like even if ive been with every guy in england. itd still upset me
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The way that u really have to choose clarity that hurts over hope that confuses it sucks
He rlly just wanted to scrub his life clean of me and move on after 2wks like if that isn't a very clear indication he wasn't the one for me idk what is. Idk what is. He wanted to be soooo mad at me for Leaving but then turned around and deleted anything that involved me and found someone new to obsessed over in 2 weeks. Like I'm better now and I'm coping and I'm moving on too but once in a while I think abt it and I do cry. Because I really thought he was the one. I wanted it to be him so bad I gave up SO much I sacrificed SO much and he wouldn't move a foot outside his comfort zone for me. It just hurts. And then for him to move on so quickly because he's just so vindictive. And I know very well that could have all been a lie to aggravate me and make me feel like shit but I'd rather believe he really did move on. I'd rather believe that than believe he'd lie to upset me, that's so much worse.
#there was a lot. there was a loootttttttttttttttttt#so so much.#it hurts my head to think abt and i began to accept that like. it's not worth thinking abt.#i cant solve it. it's done and over and none of what i think abt matters.#there's no point in thinking it's time to feel and keep moving.#that's where the tears come from. another wave of grief another wave of 'god i really wanted it i did SO MUCH to try and make it be true'#grief of it all being in vain. grief of not recieving the same#grief of the person i wanted and thought he was#grief of seeing everything i tried to ignore and excuse#grief of losing good standing w him. that's what it really truly is at the end of the day.#he probably fucking hates my guts and wants me dead and i hate that. after all i did and tried to end it amicably but like#i always knew it would never ever be amicable unless i lied and sugarcoated and pretended#and if he does or doesnt hate me i dont even want to know.#im sure he does and it kills me. but if he doesnt i dont rlly care i dont wanna know#like i said it doesnt matter now
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Life is so weird I constantly forget I have diagnosed reasons for why I feel the way that I feel and act the way I act and struggle in the ways that I struggle and yet I will still completely forget and automatically assume I am a horrible person who never puts any effort in and I will never amount to anything like ugh I need to relax and recognize how far I’ve come
#having weird vibes recently I think partially bc Millie and I talked about moving in together in the future and she’s more ready than I am#and it’s made my brain all weird about growing up again cause I’ve kind of just been floating through life assuming everything is fake and#will stay the same forever and this is just what life is now even tho I know rationally the future will change one day I’ll move out etc etc#but I’d rather not think about so I don’t and then when I do remember it takes a lot of mental energy to shove it back down into my brain#so I can function day to day and not freak out over everything forever#blah blah blah grief is eating me alive I’m afraid of death as a general concept while also not living my own life etc etc#you get it I feel like I’m already dead and no one can really convince me that any of this matters bc it’s all fake and my dad is dead and#I’ll die sometime too and none of this will have mattered in the grand scheme of things and I’m struggling so much right now and I know it’s#just a rough patch and it’s not even that rough but it’s just like my brain won’t stop thinking about how my dad was here and now he isn’t#and he’s never coming back and one day everyone I love will die hahahaha yeah you know you get the vibe ugh okay bye#let’s kill this bowl and take a dab and try to pass out
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keep crying, pup
18+, afab, dubcon, mean johnny, basically just me rambling about perv soap eating you out against your will, smidgen of daddy kink (johnny referring to himself as daddy like once or twice), dropping this then going to bed 👍
he’s all thorough and deep and manhandling you - big hands digging into your plush thighs, squeezing the soft skin with an almost painful grip. keeping you right where he wants you, right where he needs you.
even better if you’re giving him some struggle and trying to squirm away, as if you could ever overpower his brute strength. even now, as he was wrapping his hairy arms around your hips to keep you still, you could see his muscles rippling beneath a good layer of fat. scars littered his broad, muscled body - you could only imagine what he’d endured to earn all of them. stabbed, shot, burned. all proof that he was stronger than you, mentally and especially physically.
tears pricked your eyes as the thought crossed your mind how easily he could kill you in five seconds flat if he wished. he could easily come up from between your legs and snap your neck if he got tired of your squirming.
his scruff was scratching your inner thighs as he bit at your sensitive skin, tugging your plush skin into his mouth and damn near growling into it.
“quit yer squirming, birdie. you’ll take what i give you.” is all he says before he’s diving into your pussy, tongue lapping at your folds.
a sob tore from your lips as his tongue pushes past the seam of your cunt.
he’s so fucking messy and mean, getting his fill of your cunt and taking every bit of you for himself. he was loud and obscene, growling and grunting into your pussy as he sucked your folds into his mouth one at a time.
you wish warmth wasn’t bubbling in your core from his ministrations between your thighs and the sounds of him slurping up your juices.
no matter how much you wriggled or tried to bat him away, swatting at where his head lay between your thighs - you couldn’t help the tightness that coiled in your stomach.
every time you tried to fight him off of you, his hands would move up to grab your wrists in an almost painful grip. he would growl into your cunt, a sound so solid and full of gravel that it sent chills up your spine.
your cunt would flutter around his tongue when he growled into it, betraying how sensitive you were no matter how much you cried big fat tears of protest.
“s-stop, st-ah!” your cries of protest, albeit weak, were interrupted by a choked out cry as he shoved two thick fingers in beside his tongue.
his mouth and tongue never stopped devouring you as his fingers started working you apart from the inside. he gave you no time to get accustomed to the intrusion of his fingers, just immediately set on taking up space inside your cunt. dead set on splitting you open, keeping your folds spread and coaxing more and more reluctant cries from your glossy lips.
his lips wrapped around your clit and sucked none too gently, his tongue flicking over the bud at the same time.
“never gonna stop, pup. ye’ can keep cryin’ though. sound even prettier when ye do that.” he talks into your cunt before shoving his tongue back in, his fingers never faltering or slowing.
“c’mon, do it. come for daddy. give it to me.”
©️ glossysoap 2024. please do not steal, copy, plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my works without my permission.
#mw2 x reader#modern warfare soap#cod modern warfare#call of duty modern warfare#modern warfare x reader#modern warfare 2 x reader#modern warfare smut#modern warfare 2 smut#soap call of duty#call of duty#call of duty x reader#call of duty smut#cod x reader#cod smut#cod soap#soap x reader#john mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#jm#jsm#sm
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,,Discipline''
Older military instructor x younger brat male reader
Tw/s: brat taming, dubcon, face fucking, age gap (22&38), sadism, hair grabbing/pulling, punishing themes, light degration and praise.
The room is almost dead quiet if not for the lecture a tall man is giving. Air and people alike both tense. Nobody dares to make a wrong move nor play around. Though, that 'nobody' doesn't include a certain young man who has just barely graduated from college not long ago. Some describe him as a very shameless and lazy man, while others just say he's enjoying life. He'd always be either on his phone or napping all throughout his classes. It seems like it's all he can ever do, even at home. Instead of finding a decent job and finding love like his friends, he only stayed home being a bum living in his parents' basement. This 'routine' continued until he got the sudden news of being enlisted in the military all thanks to his mom, who by this point, had almost given up on her son if not for the neighbors giving advice. They had said their son used to be like hers until they forcefully pushed him into the military. Ever since then, he's been nothing but responsible.
The young man in question is [Name] [L.Name]. The moment you heard you'd go into the military, you got pissed at your mom and locked the door to your bedroom-like basement for a few days. Refusing to eat and talk. This didn't do much other than starve you. The military was unavoidable by this point so, you had no other choice but to depart from home in just a few weeks time.
Today's your second day in the military. Well, you're at the very back of a huge crowd of men in uniforms. They had given everyone a pair of uniform to wear today but honestly, you just threw it on randomly, not even caring if some buttons were left unbuttoned. Somehow, you'd sneaked your phone in. Providing some entertainment as an old man, whom you don't remember the name of, explains the rules and laying out the schedule for your daily life there. You couldn't give less of a fuck. None of this matterd anyways, you're going to be out in like what? A few weeks after the training's over. Maybe you'd even get out faster if you show your signature pout to your mom like always.
Scrolling on Twitter, you watch some sex videos without clicking on the video itself. You're a whole creep, but why dwell on it? You've given up on yourself years ago. This doesn't matter all that much. You could even feel yourself getting hard at the sight. You wish you hear them enjoying a good fucking right now. Unfortunately for you and your almost hardened dick, that wouldn't be possible. Even though you sneaked in a phone, you hadn't managed to sneak in a pair of headsets. How unlucky. Your eyes focus on the video, never moving from it even when the man's loud voice pierce through your ears. At the very least, you do know that he's an ex soldier who has fought in one of the many wars that has happened in the past decade. Not that you'd be able to do much with that information. Apparently he came here just to be a substitute as the actual instructor had gotten a serious illness and has a high chance of staying in the hospital for at least a few months, causing him to not be able to come and teach. You'd rather he shut the fuck up though. His loud voice is ruining your mood watching porn. "Jesus can he just shut up", you mumble to yourself, maybe one or two near you heard but not like they'd snitch.
Even in a serious situation, you manage to get hard. Although you're shameless, you're not shameless enough to masturbate infront of all these people. That'd be ridiculous. So, you try to hold yourself back. '10 more minutes...you can hold it' you think to yourself.
You scroll to a particularly sexually arousing video. It shows a man being facefucked roughly. Drool rolling down his chin as he's forced to take it all in, not being able to catch his breath. You can even feel yourself getting harder and harder by the second. You imagine yourself as the one on the receiving end. God how'd amazing it would be to have another man's cock down your throat like that, fucking it and putting you in your place. Just the thought of it is enough to make you twitch.
You hover your finger over the video and just as you're about to scroll. Thump! "I'm so sorry—", the man next to you who had just bumped your dominant hand on accident is silenced by the very loud sound of moaning and slurping coming from your device. You instantly freeze. Not daring or even able to move to close the video. All eyes are now on you as you're the source of the very out of place noises. Heck, you somehow notice the instructor stopping dead in the middle of his lecture just to stare at you through the crowd. Your eyes are still wide as you try your best to salvage what's left or your ego by closing the app entirely. Almost dropping it in the process. "Fuck..", you let out after holding in your words for a few seconds. You're so done for. With that, people begin to whisper just beside you as you can do nothing about it. The room gets noisier and noisier by the second until eventually...
"Silence."a manly and fierce voice commands. It sets the whole mood of the room as everyone turns to face the man in front of them, tense. You could do nothing but follow their move. "Today's lesson is over. Everyone may leave in an orderly fashion.", his tone leaves no room for complaints as everyone leaves quietly, shoulders tense. With you being last in line, he stops you before you even get the chance to make it halfway to the exit. "Not you, young man.", even though your brain tells you to leave, every single part of your body stops, not being able to get out of the dangerous situation. You only stood still as he went over to close the door. When he turns back, you can see his badge and finally identify him as Han Minho. Almost everything comes back to you. He's the soldier who played a crucial part in stopping the war 20 years ago. Here he is now, in the flesh, looking at you with almost a glare.
"You do know why I'm holding you back, don't you?", it's a question yet his tone doesn't seem like one. It's more of getting you to admit your guilt. Though, there's no way you'd admit something like that. "No", you try to avoid his gaze by looking elsewhere and distracting yourself with the walls and floors. He can only sigh at your refusal to admit what you'd done. As he reaches over to his desk to grab something, you take the opportunity to sprint to the door—anndd you're pinned to it. So much for getting out the door, you're not trapped between the door and Minho. You shouldn't have underestimated his strength and agility even for a second as that caused this. "And where do you think you're going? I don't remember letting you off", he hovers over you, you practically have to tilt your head up a bit just to be face to face with the man.
The room remains dead silent for another 10 seconds until Minho finally breaks it. "Give me your phone", he demands, holding his hand out to take it away from you. "That's my property, why should I give it to you?", you try to push him off with your phone still in your hands. He snatches it away and even when you try to grab it back, he has enough ability to keep you away. Seeing as you have a password set, he decides to grab your dominant hand and use your finger to unlock the phone. You tried resisting but of course his strength is outmatched. He immediately goes to your twitter page, finally finding the source of the disturbance in his lecture.
"...so. This, is what you've been up to during my lecture.", he stares at the video, hardly impressed. He looks back at you, "you got turned on by this?", he clealy spots your arousal under those uniform pants. He's merely pointing it out. You shake your head no once more, can't he just let you go already..."Darling, even I have a bigger one", he seems to be pointing out the fact that his dick size is bigger compared to the guy getting sucked off in the video. You scoff, the dick in the video's at least 5-6 inches, what is he even on. "Alright old man, I'm just going to head out with my phone", you try to take the phone out of his hand as he holds it near you uet to no avail. His grip doesn't waver as you try to pry the phone out of his hand. "I don't recall asking you to head back?", his eyes are oh so intimidating as he stares into yours. In a split second, he manages to pull you infront of the desk. "Get on your knees", he lets a chilling smile spread on his face. A smile that sends shivers down your spine, your knees getting weaker by the second. You still refuse and try to put on a brave face which only frustrates Minho more. "Unless you want me to spread this? I can assure you, anything that comes out of my mouth will be spreading like wildfire.", he shakes your phone a bit. He isn't wrong nor exaggerating. Anything coming out of his mouth is bound to reach the ears of your parents and maybe even close friends. You can't let that happen!
Reluctantly, you get on your knees infront of him. You look up at his tall figure, wondering what he wants or even gain from this. His hands reach over to his zipper as he slowly and teasingly zip it down. "W-wait!", you try to stop his hands by overlapping them with yours. He waits for you to continue your sentence yet you cant find the words to express what you want. "Why are you hesitating? Isn't this what you want? You're already hard", he points out your hard-on, straining against your pants. You can't respond to it as it is true you're hard and needy. With a simple yank, your hands fall back on the ground as he finishes undoing his pants. He slips his hard and long dick out. It's very close to your face, hell, it even almost slapped you. After a few seconds, you could tell his dick is definitely bigger than the one you had just seen a couple minutes ago. "What? Cat got your tongue?", he has a smug expression on his face due to how quiet you became. "Why don't you take care of my cock if you have nothing else to do?", he raises his eyebrows as his eyes lower into an intimidating gaze. "And don't use any teeth", rather than a request, it felt more like a threat. You put your hands around his cock and start to slowly lick the head ever so slightly. Not having prior experience in sucking nor licking cock, you do such a bad job at it that it gets a yawn from the man whose hard cock you're tending to. "Is that the best you can do? At least try putting half of it in your mouth", you try your best to fit half of his cock in but of course it's a bit hard. When it is in, you begin to suck and lick his cock. Trying to ignore the fact you feel like you're about to choke if you keep it in any longer.
"That's better, good boy", he praises and calls you a pet name. He takes out your phone and begins to record you sucking his cock. For a few seconds, you don't notice ad you're too focused on sucking his dick. When you do notice, you try to back off and remove his cock from your mouth. This ends up with him grabbing your hair and pulling you back, taking his whole cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose touching his happy trail. Your face contort in a mixture of gagging and somewhat pain. You so desperately want to get his dick out of your mouth but he keeps your head firmly there. Not moving at all for maybe 5 seconds. Even when he does let you move, it's just him guiding you back and forth. Your hair is super messy now due to him gripping it so hard, thrusting his hips into you, making you take it in your throat. "You're doing such a great job...ah...", he grunts and moans. The hand holding your phone is very still, making sure to get the best view of his dick going in and out your mouth.
You can even taste some of his precum in your mouth. Both of you can tell he's close to his climax. The way he thrusts faster and faster gives it all away. All you can do is hope that he cums faster. As his grunts and moans get louder, his hand almost loses grip on the phone. "Agh..ah..'m cumming..don't swallow,,agh yet!", cum starts to pour into your mouth, a lot of it. It almost overflows and due to your mouth being wide open, some of it drips on the ground in-between the two of you. You close your eyes as you can feel the warm liquid enter. When Minho pulls away, there was a sticky string that connected his cock to your mouth. He pants while you try your best to close your mouth without swallowing any. "Look at me", you look up at him as his fingers part your lips without using any force. It reveals your mouth full of his cum. Finishing the recording, he takes a picture of your face with his cum dripping out your mouth before telling you to "swallow."
He eventually returns your phone back to you after tidying himself up. "Clean up this mess you've made. I expect you to be on your best behavior next time." He walks past you towards the door. "If not, there will be more where that came from", he doesn't even look at you as he says those words. Only letting a little chuckle and walking away, the door closing as he does, leaving you all alone with cum all over the floor and your phone.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
A couple of months later, you find yourself making more and more friends. They aren't your close friends in any way but it's nice having a handful of people to talk to as you go through the intensive training together. Ever since the incident, you find yourself avoiding the mistake you had made before. Fortunately, you manage to keep your phone on you rather than having it confiscated by Han Minho. Even though you never notice, Minho has always been paying more attention to you than others. Perhaps he's trying to catch you on your phone once more for another round. Regardless, whatever the reason is, you're oblivious to it.
Your routine stays the same. It's the same old routine for everyone there anyways. Get up at 5AM, get ready and have a bit of breakfast before the morning training. Have a few hours to yourself where everyone's free to do anything they would like. Then it's lunchtime before going back to training.
The cafeteria is busy due to everyone flocking to it in order to fill their empty stomachs. The sound of people chstting away, muttering and even whispering to one another, fills the whole room. You take a seat next to one of your buddies. "How'd you guys sleep?", you ask, trying to start a conversation before biting down on your sandwich. The whole incident behind you. "Eh, I've slept better nights", one answers that starts a chain reaction of people agreeing. You can see where they're coming from. The whole training's tiring not to mention boring. The table's silent for a moment until someone perks up. "Hey! I know what we should do!", he looks at everyone with anticipating eyes. Everyone, including you, look at him confusingly. "We should have a little fun before going to bed, that'll make us sleep better and not be bored", he recommends excitedly. You all looks at one another before nodding. "Sounds like an idea but...what should we do?", you tilt your head to which he replies with a smug expression.
The clock tick tocks as it points at 22:48. It's usually when people are already sleeping after a long day of training. But not you and your friends though. You're all wide awake sitting on the floor with a water bottle. It's just the beginning of the game your friend had suggested. It's a bit tense due to the fact everyone's sacred of being caught, especially if it's by the Han Minho. He's scarier than everyone in the training combined. Once he says something, everyone shuts up and listens or at the very least keep up the act of listening even is they aren't. "Let's whisper for now, what if he's out on patrol in the hallways..we'll be absolutely fucked", the man next to you, Tae, suggests. As he says this, he leans into the middle in order for everyone to hear and raising his right hand at the side of his mouth. Everyone nods in agreement as the game starts quietly and slowly.
"Joon, truth or dare?", Tae starts the game, pointing at the friend sitting across from the two of you. He pauses for a moment and proceeds to pick 'truth'. It's what anyone would pick, really. Tae doesn't hesitate to ask him a question. It seems as if he's been holding this in for a while. "Is it true that your dad's a close friend of Han Gyogwan-nim?", Joon shares the same energy as he immediately nods excitedly. "Yeah! And you guys wanna know something?", he gathers everyone while leaning into the circle. Everyone does the same as he gossips, "I heard he used to have a wife before she left him", some chuckle while others look in disbelief, "how come? He's honestly kinda...", another person in the group, Jaehyun, chimes in. Insinuating that their instructor's good-looking which isn't entirely false. "I'm not quite sure", Joon backs away from the gathering, "something about not being able to get it up", now everyone's snickering, someone as intimidating as him, not being able to get hard? What a joke. Well, it sounds like a joke to you anyway. If he isn't able to get it up, how the fuck was he stuffing your mouth with cock and cum just a few months back?
Moving on from the first question, everyone gets a bit more comfortable now that Joon's revealed a secret of their oh so intimidating 'boss.' Hell, they don't even try to be quiet anymore, some talking in their normal voice and some even outright laughing loudly. Thankfully for everyone in the room, Han Minho isn't around to hear their loud noises.
It's been a couple rounds since the first. Everyone knows to be as quiet as possible while still having fun. "Spin it!", you nudge a guy next to you. Tae bends to spin the bottle in the middle of the circle. It spins for a bit before stopping at you. "[Name]! Truth or dare", he turns to ask you to which you confidently reply with "dare of course", with a cheeky grin. They all begin to discuss on what to dare you to do. "Go commando until tomorrow", as Tae says that, they all begin to laugh. To you, it's nothing major. You've done that a couple times in the past anyways, it's quite comfortable.
1:20AM...
2:41AM...
3:00AM.
Remembering you all have to wake up at 5 and also the fact that everyone's tired as shit, you along with the others head to bed and close the very dim light source, leaving the room almost pitch dark. You're so comfortable that in just seconds of closing your eyes, you fall into a deep sleep.
Maybe too deep of a sleep due to the fact you don't wake up in time for training. Nobody came in to fetch any of you which is quite strange to say the least but none of you minded due to the fact you're all catching up on some good old sleep. Even when it's already 5:20, not a single soul in that room is awake. Some are snoring, some are quiet, some even have their blankets thrown onto the ground. You're alnost sprawled out on the mattress with drool escaping from your mouth.
The ever so dark room is then pierced by the door opening. A tall figure appears at the doorway. The sudden light wakes up a few, with them rubbing their eyes and yawning as if they aren't 20 minutes late. "Hm? What time is it", your friend asks, still yawning and adjusting his eyes to see who it is that has woken them up. "Get. Up.", his eyes meets the glaring ones belonging to Han Minho. Their instructor. This immediately wakes them up, checking the time and seeing it's way past when they're supposed to get up. Even when they're still sleepy, they fight the urge to go back to bed and instead pick themselves up, practically sprinting outside, past Minho. Most of them went out. All but one [Name] who is still sleeping soundly, probably dreaming of...dirty things. Turning the dim lights on, the man steps closer and closer to your still sleeping figure. Your peaceful face contrasts his dissapointed and frustrated one. He pulls off your blanket roughly. Due to the fact you're having a wet dream and how you're not wearing any underwear, your erection can be seen clearly by the older man.
Not long after, lustful noises coming from you can be heard. 'Even in your dreams, you're still a horny bastard.', is what Minho thinks of. Though, he can't deny that your beautiful noises have made him hard. He still thinks of that incident every single day. Hell, he even jerks off to the thought of it every night. Without someone to satisfy his needs, he resorts to you and the thought of you.
God all he wants to do right now is flip you over and fuck you senseless but he must keep his composure as best he can. You're asleep afterall. Using his index finger and thumb, he reaches over to pinch your cheek, hard. This wakes you up almost immediately, it really hurted! "Ow ow!", you push his hand away as you open your eyes. Sitting up, you rub your cheek as your eyes try to focus and see who it was that did this to you. "Han Gyogwan-nim!?", you yell outloud, shocked at the man's presence. He shuts his eyes in annoyance. "Be quiet, you're going to alert the others", you look at him in confusion, "do you want me to help with your little problem over there?", he vaguely points at your 'problem'. You look at the direction he's pointing at and realizes you're hard...but so is he.
He notices as you oogle at his clothed cock which is straining against his pants. "How about we help each other out?", he suggests, putting a knee on the soft mattress. Eventually, he's in between your legs, face just inches away from yours. Blush covers your whole face. You don't know what to do. What could you do..?
His body slightly brushing your already hardened cock makes you even more tense and aroused. He presses his lips onto yours.
You instinctively put your hands on his shoulders, wanting to push him away but at the same time, melting into the kiss. You stay there, conflicted as his hands trail closer and closer to your pants. The only piece of clothing protecting your bare ass from the rough man. Just as you're getting used to this..position, the door almost swings open. With all your strength, you catch Minho off guard and shove him into your blanket. Thankfully for the both of you, by the way the door is facing, the large lump in your blanket isn't too noticeable, you can brush it off as you just sitting up.
Joon stands in the doorway, making a loud noise as he calls out for you, "[Name]! Quick! Didn't Han Gyogwan-nim come here to wake you up too!? We're going to be dead by the time we get to the training grounds!", he is about to approach you when you stop him. "Please sta—! aGH."
From inside your blanket, you can feel a certain man's fingers reaching their way into your boxer-less pants. Reaching behind and fondling; gropping your ass as it searches for your hole. You gasp at the action. In just a few seconds, his finger is already plunging itself into your tight hole. "[Name]..? Are you okay? Sick?", Joon asks with a worried look but also confused. You put your hand up to your mouth, muffling out any unintentional sound that might come out of your mouth. "U-uh..ye-yes, I am..", you agree with him. He sighs, "I'll inform Han Gyogwan-nim, eat the medicine over by the cabinet, he might might not agree to let you off scot free the next time you miss training..", little does he know, that 'Gyogwan-nim' is currently 2 fingers deep in your hole, twisting and turning inside you to find your prostate. You can only sit there and take it as you should. You really wsnt to bury your face into the pillow right now in order to properly conceal your facial expressions from Joon but that's not possible at the moment. One wrong move and who knows what Minho might do.
"Do you have a fever?", he steps closer once more, this time, too close for comfort. Coincidentally, at this moment, Minho finds your prostate, making you jerk in pleasure, "aH..!", you shut your eyes, biting on the inner part of your lip while stopping Joon with your hand. Signaling a stop with it. "Are you sure you're okay...? You're really weird right now man", "p-please give me some time...", you can barely hold in the noises you so badly want and need to let out. Joon eventually walks away with a weirded out look. He'll get over it soon.
The door closes behind Joon and you can feel Minho's fingers getting faster and faster. In and out of your hole, trying to get you to cum. You throw your head back, closing your eyes and finally letting out those moans Minho's been wanting to hear for so long. Though, just as you're about to cum, Minho stops as if he knew you would. Your breath hitches and you look back to face the man who has just removed his fingers out of you. His expression displays sadism. It's clear that he loves seeing you like this more than anything. "We can't have you cumming that fast now can we? It'll be no fun", he starts to remove his belt and then pants until he reaches his boxer. You can only watch him impatiently, wanting his cock deep inside you already and so does he.
Once his dick is freed from the clothing covering it, he wastes no time and flips you over on your belly. "Ass up", he commands and by whatever readon, your body feels compelled to do what's told. With your ass facing him, he plunges his fat cock into you. If it weren't for you pushing him a bit with your hand reaching back, it would have already gone deep inside you. Fortunately, it's only halfway there. He chuckles knowing his cock is too big for you to even handle. Neither one of you knows whether it'll fit or not. "Fuck..", he curses as he feels your hole squeezing his cock. Oh how long has he been waiting for this feeling. To be inside of you. He can't wait anymore. Even with you putting your whole strength into trying to keep him in place, he can overpower you quite easily. With a simple push, his cock slides in all the way in, balls deep. You can feel your eyes roll back, trying to form a coherent word. You've never taken anything this big before, especially not in your ass. Minho looks absolutely satisfied. Words can't explain the amount of pleasure he feels and will be feeling in a few seconds. "T-too big...", finally being able to talk just a few words, you state the obvious. You can even see his cock bulging just a bit above your belly button. It's too much.
"I'm going to move now", he immediately gets to it. Thrusting in and out, moving his hips. Your poor hole is sure to be thoroughly stretched after this. Your warn insides welcoming his cock by squeezing so tight, almost not wanting to let go. You don't contain your loud moans, letting them all out. It's like music to Minho's ears, to know you're enjoying every bit of it just like he is. He groans due to how tight you are. You bury your face into the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of moans due to it being the morning, not to mention the door being unlocked. If someone were to enter the door right now, they'd be face to face with you and your hole being stuffed full of cock.
The sound of skin slapping against skin is loud. Afterall, Minho is being extra rough with you. Maybe he's punishing you, or, he could be rewarding himself with you due to how long he's held back the urge to just pound you infront of everyone during training. His thrusts get faster and faster until you think it's inhumanly possible for him to be fucking you this hard. Your moans and yells are muffled by the soft pillow. One hand has a firm grip on your waist while the other gropes your ass, loving the feeling of your squishy and soft skin. "You love this don't you, [Name]", he chuckles in between breaths, a smirk on his face as he knows you can't reply. You can feel your mind go blank as he moves his hips. Your hands can only tightly hold the sheets and blanket next to you.
"Agh..Take my seed like a good boy..!", his voice shaky, clearly about to reach his limit. As he thrusts back in, his cum fills your insides. He stays there with his dick inside you as it pumps all his cum deep inside of your hole. At the same time, you also manage to cum, splurting all over the mattress. Coating the off white sheets with your thick cum. You pant, catching your breath, not able to process anything in your cock filled head. Minho places a hand over your stomach, holding you up and to make sure his cock is still inside as he leans down on your back, also trying to catch his own breath. "Good boy, you took me so well", you turn to look at him. His satisfied expression and even more satisfied cock.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
"Everyone, listen up.", the manly voice commands the whole room. Everyone stands up straight, paying attention on the owner of said voice. "I will not tolerate anyone else being late. Once the clock hits 5AM, I expect all of you to already be here.", he walks around infront of the perfect lines. His gaze is sharp. He allows no room for jokes. You stand at the very front of one of the lines. Occasionally, his eyes meet yours. Everytime you do meet eyes, there's a slight smirk on his face. Unnoticeable by everyone but you. You can't just ignore it. The both of you know why he's in such a good mood.
"This is the last time I'll tolerate any of you being late. There will be severe consequences the next time someone is. Understood?", Minho glares at the crowd. "Understood!", they all say in unision. He nods in approval. "Very well then. Today, everyone will get more rest, and we will begin training tomorrow.", he dismisses the whole training, leaving everyone confused as he walks back into his office. Everyone looks around in astonishment. Tae and Joon immediately go up to you. "Are you feeling better? Thank the heavens Han Gyogwan-nim decided to be nice today. What's that about anyways???", Joon asks with a confused look, just like any other soldier in training.
"Why're you so tense?", Tae points out as you don't have time to answer Joon's questions. You avoid eye contact as it gets a bit awkward. How could you not be when you have so much cum inside of you right now? Cum which belongs to none other than Han Minho. This is your punishment, he wants to see how long you'll last before you come crawling to him again for more cock. "N-no reason!", "relax!", Tae pats you on the back. You accidentally unclench and feel his cum dripping down inside your long pants. Who knows, maybe someone will notice. Maybe that someone will be a certain instructor. You're in for a long day and night.
══════════════════════════════
I hope you all like him! I don't have a lot to say about this man since it's almost 4am for me and I need sleep...
Please dont mind typos/grammar mistakes, I didn't have enough time to check the whole thing cuz I wanted to release it before going to sleep🥲
#oc x reader#male reader#bottom male reader#oc x male reader#x male reader#original character#「 by the hands of xin 」#xin's han minho ☆
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At The Pleasure Of The Crown
Aegon x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Aemond x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Summary: Aegon and his wife regularly visit the silk streets. One night they happen upon Aemond behind one of the curtains, the rest is history.
18+ ONLY MDNI Targcest, smut, infidelity, manipulation, etc.
It begins in the pleasure house, when Aegon tears back one of the curtains to find his brother. Nude and curled around one of the women.
“Haha,” Aegon points, “Aemond the fierce.”
Even the guardsmen there on Aegon’s behalf, shift uncomfortably as he begins taunting his brother. Though none of them will say as much.
“Stop it, you awful man.” Y/N bats at her husband.
He catches her wrists, pinning them to her sides. “Awful man?” Aegon muses, “that’s not very nice, my only love.”
“You are mean.”
Aegon frowns, “not to you.”
“You should not be mean to your brother either.”
“Are you truly angry with me?” He asks, releasing her wrists to twirl a bit of dark hair around his finger.
“Yes,” Y/N pouts.
“Please, say it isn’t so, my darling girl.” Aegon wraps his arms tightly around her, peppering her face with kisses. “I adore you.”
She says nothing, sighing against him. Stroking the stubble on his chin.
He chases her finger with his lips, “forgive me.”
“Be kind.” Y/N insists.
“Of course,” he nods, “I will be on my best behavior. I swear it.”
Y/N kisses his lips once in parting, shooing him away.
“My wife,” Aegon says to the crowd of men, “she is better than I deserve.” He stands, holding the curtain back, “I will miss her dearly.” Aegon pulls himself away, “now, a round of drinks for all; at the pleasure of the crown!”
Y/N smiles, with a shake of her head. “Might you excuse us?” She asks of Aemond’s company.
“Of course, your grace.” The older woman nods, taking her leave.
“I apologize for Aegon. I do hope you were finished, at least.”
Aemond says nothing.
“I’ve given up the opportunity to bed a woman to be here with you.” Y/N tells him, “let no one say I do not treat you fairly.”
“You should go to her. My brother does so love when there are two of you.”
“At least I’m loved.”
“He loves you to the fullest extent he is capable.”Aemond understands well. “What suprises me most is that you allow these behaviors.”
“Aegon is who he is, we can choose to either love or loath him for it.” Some people are born with sadness sewn in.
“Why love him then, if it is your choice?”
“Why do you come back to this place for comfort?” Y/N purses her lips, “why does anyone?”
Aemond stares blankly, awaiting an answer.
“Because it’s what we know. My late grandsire, the king, insisted it was my duty to keep Aegon contented. I have performed my duty.”
“My father has been dead for years now, with your mother seated peacefully upon his throne.” He hums, “you don’t strike me as a woman content forever unchanging.”
Y/N makes herself comfortable on the silk sheets, lying fully clothed beside Aemond, in all his glory. “I am content.”
He continues staring, studying her, allowing gentle hands to brush hair away from his face.
“Do you like to be petted?”
“Do you enjoy drowning in cups? Or is that another of my brother’s interests being forced upon you?”
“Aegon’s never forced me to do a thing.” Y/N admits, “he lives only to please me.”
“I will say that must be true, considering he does not have a hoard of bastards in the fighting pit.”
“He is careful.” Y/N confirms, “he told me once that our children were kissed by the gods because our love created them. He is particularly rigid about moon tea, even with his favorite ladies.”
“For once, my brother and I see eye to eye.”
“And where, on this matter, do you differ?”
“If you were my wife, I would not allow you here. You would scarcely see the outside of our chambers.”
“You would lock me away?”
“I certainly would not leave you alone with him, in a room at the pleasure house.” Aemond drawls.
“Aegon believes our bodies are naught but vessels for pleasure and of course, producing heirs. He holds little interest in who warms my bed, so long as he is the only one to know my heart.” Y/N explains. “He is fiercely possessive over it.”
“That is what I would desire most from you.”
“We would never lie together?”
Aemond sighs, “we would. Every hour. Until you were molded in the shape of me.”
Y/N swallows, harshly.
“That is the way I would love you.”
————————————————————————
Y/N makes her way down to the library, on nights she cannot sleep. Happening across Prince Aemond, who she’s scarcely seen since that night in the pleasure house. He lazes about one of the chairs, with a large book in hand.
Y/N thinks at first, she best not disturb him, but as she passes, he stares up at her. “What are you reading?”
“The anthology of serpents.”
“Is it any good?”
“I am reading in the hopes of finding sleep. It works best if the subject doesn’t interest me.” Aemond drags a finger along the edge of the page, flipping to the next.
“Right.” Y/N sifts through titles on the shelves.
“Have you read Aegon’s journal entries?”
“My husband keeps a journal? This is news to me.” Aegon’s never had much fascination with literature.
“The Conqueror.” Aemond clarifies.
“Of course,” Y/N shakes her head, “Aegon the Conqueror.”
“It’s a good read, in-”
“Three parts,” Y/N nods, “I’ve read them all.”
“Do you come to this place often?”
“Nearly every night.” The princess confirms.
“Always alone? Or accompanied by your husband?”
“A-alone.” She stammers, “I am often alone.”
“That is unfortunate.” Aemond hums. “Mayhaps I might find you here again.”
He does, of course. The next night and the night after that.
“Is it more comfortable with the eye patch on, or off?” Y/N wonders, having spent a fair share of time staring at him both ways.
“It makes little difference. The covering is mostly for the comfort of others, namely my mother. She was always quite saddened by the sight of it.”
“The sapphire is beautiful.” Y/N clears her throat.
“I’m glad you approve of your brother’s work.”
Y/N taps a finger against her wedding band as she speaks, “Lucerys is a gentle soul. It is not in his nature to attack viciously. He must’ve been very frightened.”
Aemond stands abruptly, leaving without a word. What could she know of what transpired between them that night in Driftmark? She was off nursing Aegon as he drowned in his cups.
Y/N returns to her apartments, finding comfort beneath the covers, she is nearly asleep when the door opens.
“What are you doing in here?” Aegon squints at her.
“I went to your rooms first, my love.” She yawns, “you were not there.”
“I need you in my bed.” Aegon tells her, “I need you always.”
“And you shall have me always. Come lie with me.” Y/N pats the space beside her.
Aegon strips down to his small clothes and joins her beneath the covers. “I thought you’d left me.”
Y/N sighs, passing a hand through his hair as he rests his head against her chest. “Why would I leave you, Aegon?”
“Because I am not worth staying for.” The words are muffled in the fabric of her nightgown.
“I love you.” Y/N reminds him. “I will not leave.”
————————————————————————
Y/N and Aemond spend many a night reading, seated across from each other. Though he was not thrilled about their conversation concerning Lucerys, Aemond never misses an evening.
They discuss their findings, when there is anything of interest in the history pages.
“I happened across this passage here,” Y/N plops the book unceremoniously into Aemond’s lap.
“Mmm,” he groans, shifting uncomfortably, “there goes the family jewels.”
Y/N covers her mouth with a hand. “Forgive me.”
“Mayhaps we might try something different this night. If you’re up to it.”
Y/N takes his outstretched hand, allowing him to lead her out to the training ground. “I am not trained by the sword.”
“I could teach you.” Aemond makes for the wooden training blades. “They will not cut you, but it is not pleasant to be struck.” He warns.
Y/N reaches out, grabbing the hilt. Testing the weight of it in her hand.
“Widen your stance.” Aemond tells her.
Y/N shuffles her feet apart, “like this?”
“Close enough.”
Her dark brows furrow in concentration and when their swords meet, Aemond relishes in the little grunting noises she makes.
“Ao vīlībagon olvie sȳrī syt mēre qilōni knows daorun hen egros.” You fight quite well for one who knows nothing of the sword.
She smiles, “bodmagho nyke skorkydoso naejot tatagon ao hen.” Teach me how to finish you off.
Aemond chuckles, “do not tempt me, girl.”
Y/N lunges for him, an untrained hand against the master, leaving herself exposed to his attack.
He uses the tip of his sword to lift her chin, “I win.”
She swallows, batting it away. “I want to go again.”
And so they do, until she is spent. Collapsing on the ground, as though he’s truly run her through with the blade. Aemond finds this more amusing than he lets on.
“Up,” he demands, “you will make a mess of yourself, rolling around in the dirt.”
“I will surely bathe after our activities, you needn’t worry.”
“Do you need me to carry you back to your apartments then?”
“After a while.” Y/N grins, resting a hand beneath her head as a makeshift pillow to gaze up at the night sky.
“What are you doing?” Aemond hovers over her.
“See for yourself.” Y/N insists.
Aemond grumbles, taking a seat in the dirt before fully reclining. “The moon?”
“The stars,” Y/N tells him. “When I was a girl my mother would point to the stars and ask what we saw in them.”
“To what possible end?”
Y/N shrugs, “entertainment, I suppose. Or gods forbid, fun.”
“What do you see?” Aemond asks, turning his face toward her.
“Well, just there, I see a hound.” Y/N points to a cluster of lights.
“A hound?” Aemond cocks his head to the side, following the line of her finger.
“Can’t you see?”
“Not at all.” He smirks.
“What do you see then?”
“A crown.” Aemond tells her.
“Where?” Y/N shuffles closer to him, hoping to see.
“Beside the sword.”
“There is no sword.”
“And I say, there is no hound.”
Aegon stumbles out towards the pair, listening to them bicker. “What are you doing?”
“Looking upon the stars, my love. Come lie with us.” Y/N waves him over.
Aegon smiles, indulgently. “Alright.” He joins them on the ground, opposite his brother, Y/N in the middle. “Not very comfortable, is it?”
“The sky is beautiful, is it not?”
Aegon blinks at it once, before turning back to her. “You are my moon and stars.”
Y/N rolls atop of him, kissing the expanse of his face, ten times over.
Oh to be so loved.
Aemond withdraws, prepared to take his leave.
“Goodnight, Aemond.” Y/N calls after him.
With a shake of his head, he calls back, “goodnight.”
————————————————————————
Aemond will never admit the amount of times his brother’s wife dances cross his mind during the day. He does his best to distract himself.
The sound of laughter travels down the hall, from their children’s rooms. Aegon is not much, in his brother’s eye. But even Aemond cannot deny fatherhood suits him.
“And then, from the sky, a big scary dragon swoops down to claim its next victim!” Aegon flaps his arms, parading around like a fool, as his children scatter. Giggling and hollering all the while.
Their youngest son runs to Y/N for protection.
“Come, my dearest love. I will save you.” She smiles, taking the little boy into her lap.
Aemond stands in the crack of the door; watching the scene unfold.
Princess Y/N grins from ear to ear as her husband gallops over, enveloping her in his arms.
“Oh no, mother! You’ve been eaten by the dragon.” Her daughter laughs.
“And I am still hungry.” Aegon smiles, turning his attention back to the eldest children.
Aemond turns away, continuing down the hall. Mayhaps he does want children. Mayhaps he wants them with her, but such things are foolish to desire. So he refuses to.
————————————————————————
“How do you get your hair so straight?” Y/N wonders. “It used to have wave to it, like Aegon’s.”
“From the looks of Aegon’s hair he could do with better hygiene.”
“Be kind,” Y/N chides him. “He has beautiful hair.”
“If you want access to trade secrets, you must allow me to speak freely.” Aemond challenges.
“I love Aegon.”
Aemond nods. “Of course”
“And that is fine by you?”
He smirks, “you’ve only now thought to ask?”
“I had not thought so much of it before.” She admits, “but now it is all I can-”
“If it is my permission you seek to continue loving your husband, I have overstepped.”
Y/N bites her tongue.
“I doubt he is asking whores for their blessing to go on loving you.”
“I wish only to be fair to you.” Y/N searches his eye.
“From the moment you pulled back the curtain in the pleasure house, you have been unfair to me.” Aemond tells her, “made my heart ache for you, made me long for you, then left with my brother when you were through. It did not seem to bother you then.”
“I did not mean for this to happen.”
“I believe that is true. You are not wanton for the suffering of others, but sometimes these things happen.”
“I am finished, if you’re angry with me.”
“Has no one been angry at you before?”
“No.” She shakes her head.
“Then, I am honored to be the first.” He brushes a kiss to her cheek. “Before you go, I have something for you.”
Y/N swallows.
“Turn around.” Aemond murmurs, reaching into his breast pocket.
Y/N does as she’s told, catching only a glimpse of glimmering metal before it meets her skin. Clasping at the back of her neck.
Aemond walks her toward his mirror, brushing dark hair over her shoulders so she can see it properly.
“Why give this to me now, if you are angry?” Her brows furrow.
Aemond traces a finger along her collarbone. “You will find that people are multifaceted. We have imperfections and sharp edges, but we are a direct reflection of the light shone upon us.”
————————————————————————
The necklace is beautiful, enough that even Aegon takes notice. Raising the subject in their chambers unlacing the back of her dress. The material falls free, pooling at her feet. Leaving only her shift and small clothes, which soon meet the same end.
“That is a lovely necklace, darling girl.” He runs his finger along the glittering blue jewels, hanging above her breasts. It looks familiar to him, though he cannot say why. His wife is often dripping in jewels he’s gifted her. There is no way of remembering them all. “Was it buried at the back of your jewelry box?”
Y/N smiles, bringing his hand up to kiss his fingertips and then place them upon her breasts. “It was a gift.”
“From whom, my only love?” He forces a grin, kneading the fleshy mounds.
“Aemond.”
No. A blow directly to his gut. He nods, giving the peaks of her breasts a tug before letting them fall free, sensitive and aching. “Upon the bed, my heart.” He smiles.
Y/N returns the gesture, sitting at the edge of the mattress.
“Lie back for me.”
Y/N does as he asks, allowing her legs to fall open, out of habit.
“Good girl.” Aegon drops to his knees, pressing his face to the altar and begins to pray. Every cruel word spoken against him does not exist here. He is safe between her thighs, with gentle hands carding his hair.
He would spend hours there, if she let him. Ignoring the bite of overstimulation to soothe his need for her. His jaw aches, working her writhing body through one peak to the next.
“Fuck,” Y/N sobs. Fighting the urge to press against his head for reprieve.
Aegon takes her hands in his, knotting their fingers together. When he tires of all her squirming, he trails kisses up to her pretty face. Nuzzling her nose with his own as he thumbs away tears.
Y/N sighs, contently. Relaxing enough to calm her breathing.
Aegon lowers his face to her breasts then, rolling and plucking at her nipples until they stand at attention. Sucking them between his teeth, laving his tongue over them until they too are sensitive. He leans up, pecking one final kiss to her lips before heading back to her cunt.
He spreads her legs wide, until her outer thighs rest on the mattress and his hands grip the insides firmly. “I am not finished.” He whispers.
Y/N whines, covering her face with both hands.
“I will be gentle.” He hushes her. “So, so, gentle.”
She cries out at the feel of his tongue lapping her folds. Everything ablaze.
He draws one last peak from his dearest love before he is satisfied, leaving her a quivering mess. “I want another child.”
Y/N nods, willing to give him anything.
“Turn around for me, up on your knees.”
Y/N rolls onto her belly, pushing up on her elbows and knees.
“Poor, little thing, leaking all over.” Aegon croons. “Does my brother not satisfy you?”
“We do not lie together.” Y/N tells him.
“What is it you do together?” Aegon’s lips twitch.
“Talk.”
He huffs a laugh. “You could talk to anyone, dearest. Why him?”
Y/N lifts a shoulder, “he is quite fascinating.”
“Have you come to care for him?”
“In the way you care for your ladies, I would wager.”
Aegon blinks, slightly dazed, as though he’s never considered it. “I love nothing in this world the way I love you.”
“As I love you.” Y/N peeks over her shoulder at him.
Aegon lines up his aching cock, sliding into her warm, with ease.
Y/N sighs, relishing the feel of him.
Aegon’s thoughts are plagued by the stupid sapphire necklace, bouncing between her breasts. Glittering against the bedding in the soft candle light, laughing at him.
He’s caught off guard by the force which possesses him to move her hair aside and yank the chain until it snaps.
“Ah,” Y/N rears back, clutching the skin of her burning neck.
“I am so terribly sorry, my only love.” Aegon apologizes, gathering her up, with her back to his chest. “It caught on my ring.” He kisses what he can reach of her flesh. He shouldn’t have done it, he knows it was wrong and he hates that he’s hurt her. “I will buy you a new necklace.”
Y/N reaches a hand back to caress his hair, eyes brimming with tears. “It felt as though you tugged.”
Aegon nuzzles her shoulder, leaning into her touch. “I will never harm you on purpose. Forgive me.”
Y/N nods, “of course.”
He turns her face toward him, enough for their lips to meet.
————————————————————————
Aemond does not see Y/N again, not for two nights. Whatever hold the wench has over him will not allow him to surpass that.
He finds her pacing the corridor nearest the library, wringing her hands. “What troubles you, Princess?”
Y/N sucks in a breath, “Aemond.”
“You have not been to the library.”
“I thought it best,” she nods.
“Why?” He leans against the pillar beside her.
“I do not wish to hurt you. After we last spoke, I realized that…”
“You would rather pace in a corridor, inflicting your own suffering than harm me?”
“I suppose I would.”
“If I wish to speak with Aegon about us, would you be opposed?” Aemond asks.
“What would you say?” Her eyes widen.
He taps her chin, “that is none of your concern, sweetling.”
“I love him dearly.” Y/N says, grabbing for his hand.
“Our marriage would only further serve to strengthen your claim to the throne. With Aegon and I at your side, there would be no one to contest you. Your mother, the Queen would be elated to have your claim upheld so fiercely.”
“You raised this matter with my mother?” Y/N whispers.
“I had to be sure it was an option, as I know you will forever toil in servitude of the crown. An honorable venture, for which you will find yourself in need of a King Consort well versed in the histories and matters of the realm.” Aemond takes another step toward her.
“A generous offer,” Y/N nods. “Still I must discuss this with my husband before any decision can be made.”
“Of course,” Aemond smiles.
————————————————————————
Y/N does discuss it with Aegon that night and the mere suggestion lands him in his brother’s room, prepared to kill him.
“I offered you a kindness, to wean you off of that woman at the pleasure house and this is how you repay me? By spitting in my face?” Aegon screams, the veins of his neck pulsing and red with fury.
“While you are busy fucking whores, it is my company your wife seeks. It is her mind which needs stimulating, and however unfortunate, I do not believe you are suited for the task.” Aemond holds both arms behind his back, unfazed by Aegon’s outburst.
“Y/N is the most precious thing in this world to me. She is mine, she has always been mine, she is always going to be mine. Take her cunt, if you must, but nothing more.”
Aemond purses his lips, “we are at an impasse then. I am quite taken with the whole of her.“
“It was me she swore oaths to, my children that grew inside her, my hand she holds. What do you want of her?”
“Soon she will swear the same oaths to me.” Aemond muses, “when I lie with her, it will be my seed that takes.“ He lifts a shoulder, “if you are kind to me, I may allow you to hold her hand as I do it.”
Part 2
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