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kaesaaurelia · 7 months ago

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Thinking about the temple I went to briefly in college where a minyan was "any ten willing adults who made it here despite the weather -- sometimes we only get eight, though" because it was Central Illinois and they were mostly interfaith families, vs the shittiness of my mom's childhood rabbi who said he'd marry my parents without requiring my father to convert, then like three months before the wedding said, "Oh, actually I don't do interfaith couples." Thinking about the girl who deadass got up in front of my French class and argued passionately that every country in the world should follow rabbinical law (which version? idk, her version) and try boys old enough to be bar mitzvah'd as adults so they would be subject to the death penalty. Thinking about how exposure to that one single Central Illinois temple's idea of a minyan would've killed her stone dead.

Thinking about the neighbors that lectured my parents about "not raising me right" because we had a Christmas tree so I was clearly not being raised Jewish, and the next year, thinking about how my parents got the most obnoxious neon blinky star and put the tree in the window that faced their house. Thinking about my dad's family that kept giving me Jesus-themed presents for Christmas until we stopped talking to them, who could never acknowledge that my mother had a law degree. (Thinking about how my great-grandmother on my mother's side got her doctorate in French literature after her first husband died and she married her second husband, who was a rabbi. Exposure to my mother's mother's family would've killed my dad's family stone dead too, maybe.)

Thinking about how I grew up being made fun of for not "looking Jewish" even though that's not how anything fucking works, but my mom was adopted and didn't convert, so to lots of people she's not really Jewish and neither am I. Thinking about how in middle school my best friend (also Jewish, no adoption history) and I used to be mistaken for twins (so I do look Jewish, even though that's not how anything works), and about how now she and one of her other best friends (white Latina, like my mom's biological mom) are mistaken for sisters. Thinking about how both of us signed my friend's ketubah when she got married even though her other look-alike friend is goyisch, because the sweet old lady from her temple who was going to sign it got lost on the way to the lodge and, it being an interfaith wedding in rural Illinois, all the other Jews who got there that early were related to her. The rabbi said she considered it valid as long as the signers were unrelated adults, and as a female rabbi I assume she also has faced her share of accusations of Not Good Enough.

Thinking about how recently I had to explain to my doctor how I, a white woman, could have sickle cell trait. My doctor seemed shocked and appalled that an interracial union could produce pale-skinned descendants. Thinking about how my whole life has been an exercise in arguing about how little biological ancestry matters until suddenly it does -- suddenly it's a medical issue you're facing, a mystery kidney condition where they can't diagnose it and you maybe get a kidney removed for no reason and continue to suffer on and off (what happened to my biological grandmother), or, if you're lucky, you have a heads up that the doctor isn't very good and can convince him to hold off on the operation long enough for the Afro-Caribbean intern who knows his shit and has seen this before, to diagnose you properly (what happened to my mom), or you're me, thankfully you just have chronic anemia, mention the sickle cell trait, are disbelieved at first, and then are lectured by your doctor about the primary danger of sickle cell trait: if you have children (presumably with a white man) you are going to have to explain this VERY CLEARLY to him beforehand so he knows you didn't cheat on him, because why would he trust you?

(Thinking about the nurse who told my mom I might "come out black" because she had sickle cell trait, and how my mom had to be prepared to defend her fidelity to my dad.)

Kidney issues? Anemia? Well. I guess angry husbands are a greater health risk to women, after all.

(Thinking about all the times my mom has had to fight for barely adequate medical care; about how many times she has argued with the doctors, half-conscious, about one of her various life-threatening conditions, and forced them to listen for once to the sick fat woman who thinks she knows things; about how many times I could have never been born if she hadn't argued. And thinking about how hard it was to be raised by someone who still to this day can never acknowledge she might be wrong, and I'm not saying this justifies what she did to me, but goddamn, if I'd been fighting for consciousness that many times to yell about insulin or whatever, I'd be hard-pressed to back down, too. I'm not planning to have kids, by the way; the kidney issues are way more likely. Not that he asked.)

Thinking about my great-grandfather the rabbi and his ham bone seder, there being no other bones available for the seder plate in that town in rural North Carolina, and then I feel I have to clarify, no, he was my step-great-grandfather, and my mom was adopted, I'm not really related enough to him to claim him as an ancestor. But then again, what kind of rabbi would look at a ham bone on a seder plate and say it was good, and then look at me and say we're not family? I might not look like him, I'll never know, but I know my mother takes after him because we had a dog toy on the seder plate once and if that's not likeness I don't know what is. I don't think he ever doubted his own Jewishness; some of his family fled the Spanish Inquisition. But I think he'd think I was Jewish enough.

I don't know Hebrew and I didn't grow up going to temple, because that one rabbi sucked and all the other temples in town -- and we were arguably spoiled for choice -- were much more rigid in their interpretations of the rules. I never got bat mitzvah'd or even confirmed. Most damningly, I hate arguing. But I can, and I will, and I come from a long line of people who had to argue to survive, and also one guy who got caught in the middle of hog farm country and had to put together an unplanned Seder. And so, I think, if the ham bone was good enough, and any ten adults who made it to temple in a blizzard can be enough, probably so am I.

(Thinking about the time when I was four or so and learning to set the table, and I asked my father -- who is not Jewish -- why it was important that the forks be straight, and he said, "It's so they know we're Jewish." That one isn't a deep thought, my dad is just a troll. But I was probably eight or nine before I was like "hang on, that doesn't seem right..." and when I got older and tried to read the whole Torah for myself, I kept a sharp eye out for mentions of silverware.)

#kaesa op #venty post #Feelings of Inadequate Jewishness and thoughts on ancestry and rules and traditions and being good enough below the cut #also a story about my step-great-grandfather the rabbi in north carolina

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fierceautie · 3 years ago

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A fear a lot of parents do have about their autistic children whether or not they will find someone who will love and accept them for who they are. Yes, it can happen. My husband and I met a year after I escaped home and have been together ever since. 16 years ago, Nick and I got married and about 20 years ago we first got together. Escaping Home and DatingI used going away to college as a means of escape from home. I dated a few guys in the year before I met Nick. It was ingrained in my head to find a "nice Jewish boy" and being in upstate NY, there weren't that many Jewish guys to choose from. Since I was a teen, I vowed I would not have sex before marriage. It was not for religious reasons but my best friend's sister had a lot of trouble from being a single parent and I did not want to deal with it. I wanted to keep my life simple. Unfortunately the people I dated could not deal with that so I remained by myself. Keep in mind this is before I knew I was autistic. Once they found out I wouldn't sleep with them, they broke up with me. Thats it. It was their loss and at least I was nota at home. A Trip to RememberOne day I was going upstairs in the dorm to visit a friend from Hillel, a jewish organization on campus, and I tripped on the stairs. It was not just the stairs. There was a guy crying because his ex girlfriend really messed with his head. I gave him my number if he needed a friend. Then after I spoke to him, I went to visit a friend.Traveling in the Same CirclesThe guy who was upset was Nick. We got to talking and my roommate knew we would end up together before we did. He lived in the dorm room right above mine. We would communicate through my ceiling and his floor using morse code. After a while, we figured out that we had a lot of common friends. We played in a table top role playing game together and really got to know each other. He thought my hearing aids were cute (I thought that was a little weird to be honest but to each their own). First Date to RememberSoon after this game, he asked me on our first date. He picked me up from my dorm room and brought me a rose. One problem with that. I am allergic to roses. I was not going to advertise that I was allergic to roses to everyone I ever dated and we spent our first date in the emergency room. I thought he would never want to see me again. Then we spent more time together. Meeting the FamilySoon after our hospital date he asked me to accompany him to his mother's house an hour away. He used the excuse that I had a learners permit but the law in NY anyone with a learner permit cannot drive after 9pm.Her house was an hour away from school. We had to drive around a mountain in order to get to her house. I grew up on Long Island so driving through the Adirondack mountains was something different. When we got there, he brought me into the field behind her house. I had never seen so many stars in the sky before in MY LIFE. It was beautiful. This is a moment I will never forget. After we looked at the stars, he brought me inside to his mom's house. He first brought me in and said to his mom "I can see clear over the top of your head." He looked at his mom and then looked at me. His mom was laughing and the first thing she ever said to me,"Go ahead, slap him." She is an Italian mom so fo course she was joking. After that, Nick's sister, B's mom was 11. She locked Nick in her closet so he couldn't go back to school. She missed her brother. Fast ProposalAbout a month later after this, Nick proposed to me. We had 2 year engagement. Soon after he proposed to me, he got me a job in a grocery store he worked at. I had worked at one for my entire time in high school so it wasn't hard to get hired. One day I was training and I lifted nick to reach something on a pallet and the manager said "which isle are you two getting married in?" Everyone laughed. Being Accepted into My Real FamilyAfter getting to know Nick's mom, I never called her by her first name, she was always mom. She was the one who showed me how a mother is supposed to love. She had told my parents off more times than I care to admit. I never knew what a loving family was. I never had good memories about my childhood. Long EngagementWe had a 4 year engagement while we got our finances in order. Nick wanted to wear orange at our wedding because that is his favorite color so he did it in a way where he looked real good in it. We really let our personalities show. He is from a catholic background but doesn't like religion. I am jewish. We mesh both cultures together at home really well. At the wedding we had a Rabbi that specialized in interfaith weddings. Unfortunately there was only one priest that was willing to co officiate. His father was Jewish. We would run into him in town buying challah (Jewish egg bread for those who don't know). He would always say to us,"You think I was a gentile with a nose like this?" We knew he was kidding when he said that. The only problem the weekend we were getting married, he was out of town. Anyway, the Rabbi came from Brooklyn, which is a 6 hour drive. She included some catholic parts as well as the Jewish parts. She did a fabulous job and so grateful to her. This was a great start to something beautiful. We have our ups and downs but I swear we were made for each other. We come from such different backgrounds but compliment each other so well. Autistics can get married and it can be a beautiful thing. Parents don't you worry, if your child is meant to find someone they will.

http://www.fierceautie.com/2021/07/autistics-can-find-love-story-about-how.html

#actuallyautistic #stop quackery #autism

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shmisolo · 6 years ago

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Can you now tell us some the headcanos you have for "Let's Get Together" please? I absolutely loved the fic. It was an AU I din't know I wanted but I'm glad I got it.

ok spoilers for let’s get together chapter 5!

ok first things first: ben & rey don’t move in together right away. ben gets his own place about thirty minutes away and they start with a traditional half-week split with the kids.

the twins don’t understand this and are very annoyed bc their parents are CLEARLY IN LOVE why aren’t they MARRIED AGAIN ALREADY

the reason they choose this is bc they want to ease back into things. bc even though things feel right, they know there’s a lot of baggage attached that they haven’t had the opportunity to work through and they both care so much about making it right–for the girls and for each other. they have to learn to be in one anothers’ lives again

they start seeing a couple’s therapist and that’s when Shit Gets Real in a lot of ways

rey has a lot of self-blame. like a lot (that’s evident in the fic i should hope). ben’s worked through a lot of his with his therapist beforehand, and he’s all for letting the past die (eyyyy) and starting as fresh as they can, but rey’s having a lot of trouble letting go, especially because she can’t really remember why she left to begin with, bc her brain has locked her out of it, bc her experience at the time was so clouded bc of the 19 different pressures from various badbrains going on. so a lot of their couple’s therapy is working through rey’s guilt and trying to think more about the future than the past.

for ben it opens up more bitterness than he wants it to. a lot of his previous therapy had been about him without her in conversation, and so he’d built up what i think (and ben thinks, and his previous therapist thinks) would be reasonable ways of engaging with the memory of his ex-wife and the love of his life; but that’s very different when she’s still having trouble remembering why she left, and he’s in a new place halfway across the country from everything he’s known, and being far away from his mom (which is harder than he thought it would be). (on the bright side: he likes the non-new york legal lifestyle of not killing yourself for the hours every day. he likes that a lot.) but there’s a lot that’s not quite as easy as he wants it to be and he has to learn how to work through that with rey and not just with himself.

ben also tries to point out that he was the one that suggested splitting the twins (it had been a tactic to try and make rey stay, and he hadn’t expected her to take him up on it) as a way of showing that they both were part of the situation, that it was in some ways mutual even if she initiated it, and the fallout falls on him too. rey has trouble hearing that bc she has a lot of abandonment trauma herself, even if it’s factually correct that he did suggest this.

this is a conversation they keep away from the kids as much as possible, because they don’t want the kids to involve themselves too much. it’s not their responsibility to fix the parents and they’ve done enough to show that they’d try. so they say that they’re being careful and get cagey whenever either padme or breha presses it.

despite a lot of the work they are doing with their therapist, which is hard and necessary, they’re pretty good on the whole tho. they have date nights–usually when the girls are staying with rey since the co-parenting trio are always down to babysit, especially as they are getting to know padme–and they continue sleeping together, and fall into a pretty good rhythm of life. a lot of their therapy is about working through their past, but they’re mostly equipped to handle their present properly.

padme has more difficulty than either of them had really prepared for in moving down to new mexico. she has gone from an all girl’s private school to a local coed public school and wasn’t expecting the culture shock of that experience alone in middle school, much less a different vibe of being in the southwest more long term. and while she and breha get on very well, there are definitely spats bc for breha everything’s natural and normal, but padme misses her friends, and misses her bubbe, and misses being able to walk places.

breha starts going to hebrew school (a way to appease leia that padme and ben were moving down south; leia’s not really mad about it, but she’s definitely gonna push for both of her girls to have a jewish education)

after ~a year or so, ben moves in. since this is headcanon and not #fic, i went ridiculous with the “he had a mild heart attack” thing (bc i can’t fathom ben solo having a healthy heart t b q h) and that makes everyone scared and sad and he’s fine but everyone’s scared and rey makes him stay at her place so that he can have everyone take care of him while he recovers and he just…never leaves.

while scary, this is also an important moment for rey bc they won’t tell her stuff about him at the hospital bc she’s his ex, not his wife. so when she is let in to see him, she’s basically like “hi we need to get married” which they spend like three or four hours on in therapy bc it’s the first time she’s thinking “forward” and sure she’d done it in panic, but it’s important that she’s thinking about a future that’s not just weighed down by her own guilt. (no, they don’t get married right away. but they do start talking about futures more consistently after that, aided by ben’s moving in.)

they end up building an extension to the house bc with the additions of ben and padme, things are getting a bit cramped and also poe, finn, and rose have a bet as to whether or not ben and rey might have more kids. they’re also considering kids of their own and figure having extra space will be good.

leia eventually moves down to santa fe. she doesn’t like being far from her family. she absolutely becomes like…the fucking matriarch of the jewish community in like 4 seconds and no one knows how except that it’s leia.

also: fun fact that i didn’t have time to work into the fic because she wasn’t going to tell either ben or rey while all this was going on--leia feels a lot of responsibility for the fall-apart of the first marriage. she feels as though she failed her daughter-in-law when her daughter-in-law needed a mother figure and she just wasn’t able to give her the help and support she needed when she was clearly breaking down. that’s part of what motivated her to help the twins--she saw it as an opportunity to fix something she feels she had a hand in (while also knowing that she isn’t to blame for rey’s mental state at the time).

the girls get bat mitzvahed. everyone is emotional.

rey and ben decide to get married soon thereafter. they have a convo w/the rabbi and realize that they’d never gotten a get so their ketubah is still valid which makes them both laugh real hard for a long-ass time, and they decide to skip a big wedding (much to the girls’ annoyance) bc it feels like a waste of time and they feel like they’ve already lost so much time. but they do have a nice little thing at the farm after they sign their marriage license and luke and chewie come to visit and it’s a big family thing.

moar kidz??? idk that’s as far as i got. that’s a lie they totally have one more kid and so do rose/poe/finn and those two kids are adorable and the best playmates everrrrrr.

fin.

#parent trap fic #anonymous

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nataliesnews · 4 years ago

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and a Follow-up

A true and amazing story. First is the email sent to me by a friend followed by my response to him after some research.

Alvin

Subject: Fwd: An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

Hard to read but worth it.

An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

Sixty thousand Jews were in Thessaloniki, Greece on the eve of the outbreak of World War II. A living and vibrant Jewish community. Most of the porters in the port of Thessaloniki were Jews. The port of Thessaloniki was even closed on Saturday. Great rabbis lived there too

It was on this glorious community that the Nazi terror brutally rose.

Hitler took Greece by storm to secure his southern wing before launching Operation Barbarossa and the offensive against Russia.

Out of 60,000 Thessaloniki Jews, about 50,000were exterminated in Birkenau in a very short time…. Few survived.

Among the survivors were the Bourla family.

After the war in 1961 a son was born to the Bourla family. And they named him Israel - Abraham. (Albert).

Albert grew up and studied veterinary medicine. He received his doctorate in reproductive biotechnology from the Aristotle University of Salonika Veterinary School.

At the age of 34 he moved to the United States. He married a Jewish woman named Miriam and had two children.

In the United States, Bourla was integrated into the medical industry. He progressed very quickly and joined the Pfizer company where he became 'Head of Global Vaccines'.

From there, the road is short for his appointment as CEO of Pfizer in 2019.

Throughout the year, Bourla led the company's efforts to find a vaccine for corona in super efforts.

The vaccine that will save the lives of millions of people around the world was led and pushed by a Jew. Son of Holocaust survivors. From Thessaloniki.

His vaccine will also reach Germany, where 1000s have died from Covid, and the vaccine will also save lives there.

And THIS is why Israel is becoming the first country to receive the vaccine. In memory of Albert’s grandparents.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----Original Message----- From: [email protected] Sent: Fri, Mar 5, 2021 1:26 pm Subject: Fwd: A follow-up An Amazing story – Pfizer Vaccine

Your email describing Albert Bourla's story of his family gave me the inspiration to look into it further and what follows is an expansion of his family's story.

Albert Bourla: My Family’s Story: Why We Remember

This week, as we do every year, we commemorated International Holocaust Remembrance Day so that the stories of the victims and survivors are never forgotten. Yesterday, I was deeply honored to join the Sephardic Heritage International in DC ‘s Annual Congressional Holocaust Commemoration to share my family’s story in connection with the Holocaust.

You can watch me deliver my remarks or read them below.

Remembrance. It’s this word, perhaps more than any other, that inspired me to share my parents’ story. That’s because I recognize how fortunate I am that my parents shared their stories with me and the rest of our family.

Many Holocaust survivors never spoke to their children of the horrors they endured because it was too painful. But we talked about it a great deal in my family. Growing up in Thessaloniki, Greece, we would get together with our cousins on the weekends, and my parents, aunts and uncles would often share their stories.

They did this because they wanted us to remember. To remember all the lives that were lost. To remember what can happen when the virus of evil is allowed to spread unchecked. But, most important, to remember the value of a human life.

You see, when my parents spoke of the Holocaust, they never spoke of anger or revenge. They didn’t teach us to hate those who did this to our family and friends. Instead they spoke of how lucky they were to be alive … and how we all needed to build on that feeling, celebrate life and move forward. Hatred would only stand in the way.

So, in that spirit, I’m here to share the story of Mois and Sara Bourla, my beloved parents.

Our ancestors had fled Spain in the late 15th century, after King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella issued the Alhambra Decree, which mandated that all Spanish Jews either convert to Catholicism or be expelled from the country. They eventually settled in the Ottoman Thessaloniki, which later became part of Greece following its liberation from the Ottoman Empire in 1912.

Before Hitler began his march through Europe, there was a thriving Sephardic Jewish community in Thessaloniki. So much so that it was known as “La Madre de Israel” or “The Mother of Israel.” Within a week of the occupation, however, the Germans had arrested the Jewish leadership, evicted hundreds of Jewish families and confiscated their apartments. And it took them less than three years to accomplish their goal of exterminating the community. When the Germans invaded Greece, there were approximately 50,000 Jews living in the city. By the end of the war, only 2,000 had survived.

Lucky for me, both of my parents were among the 2,000.

My father’s family, like so many others, had been forced from their home and taken to a crowded house within one of the Jewish ghettos. It was a house they had to share with several other Jewish families. They could circulate in and out of the ghetto, as long as they were wearing the yellow star.

But one day in March 1943, the ghetto was surrounded by occupation forces, and the exit was blocked. My father, Mois, and his brother, Into, were outside when this happened. When they approached, they met their father, who also was outside. He told them what was happening and asked them to leave and hide. But he had to go in because his wife and his two other children were home. Later that day, my grandfather, Abraham Bourla, his wife, Rachel, his daughter, Graciela, and his younger son, David, were taken to a camp outside the train station. From there they left for Auschwitz-Birkenau. Mois and Into never saw them again.

The same night, my father and uncle escaped to Athens, where they were able to obtain fake IDs with Christian names. They got the IDs from the head of police, who at the time was helping Jews escape the persecution of the Nazis. They lived there until the end of the war … all the while having to pretend that they were not Jews … that they were not Mois and Into – but rather Manolis and Vasilis.

When the German occupation ended, they went back to Thessaloniki and found that all their property and belongings had been stolen or sold. With nothing to their name, they started from scratch, becoming partners in a successful liquor business that they ran together until they both retired.

My mom’s story also was one of having to hide in her own land … of narrowly escaping the horrors of Auschwitz … and of family bonds that sustained her spirit and, quite literally, saved her life.

Like my father’s family, my mom’s family was relocated to a house within the ghetto. My mother was the youngest girl of seven children. Her older sister had converted to Christianity to marry a Christian man she had fallen in love with before the war, and she and her husband were living in another city where no one knew that she had previously been a Jew. At that time mixed weddings were not accepted by society, and my grandfather wouldn’t talk to his eldest daughter because of this.

But when it became clear that the family was going to head to Poland, where the Germans had promised a new life in a Jewish settlement, my grandfather asked his eldest daughter to come and see him. In this last meeting they ever had, he asked her to take her youngest sister – my mom – with her.

There my mom would be safe because no one knew that she or her sister were of Jewish heritage. The rest of the family went by train straight to Auschwitz-Birkenau.

Toward the end of the war, my mom’s brother-in-law was transferred back to Thessaloniki. People knew my mom there, so she had to hide in the house 24 hours a day out of fear of being recognized and turned over to the Germans. But she was still a teenager, and every so often, she would venture outside. Unfortunately, during one of those walks, she was spotted and arrested.

She was sent to a local prison. It was not good news. It was well known that every day around noon, some of the prisoners would be loaded on a truck to be transferred to another location where the next dawn they would be executed. Knowing this, her brother-in-law, my dearest Christian uncle, Kostas Dimadis, approached Max Merten, a known war criminal who was in charge of the Nazi occupation forces in the city.

He paid Merten a ransom in exchange for his promise that my mom would not be executed. But her sister, my aunt, didn’t trust the Germans. So, she would go to the prison every day at noon to watch as they loaded the truck that would transfer the prisoners to the execution site. And one day she saw what she had been afraid of: my mom being put on the truck.

She ran home and told her husband who immediately called Merten. He reminded him of their agreement and tried to shame him for not keeping his word. Merten said he would look into it and then abruptly hung up the phone.

That night was the longest in my aunt and uncle’s life because they knew the next morning, my mom would likely be executed. The next day – on the other side of town – my mom was lined up against a wall with other prisoners. And moments before she would have been executed, a soldier on a BMW motorcycle arrived and handed some papers to the man in charge of the firing squad.

They removed from the line my mom and another woman. As they rode away, my mom could hear the machine gun fire slaughtering those that were left behind. It’s a sound that stayed with her for the rest of her life.

Two or three days later, she was released from prison. And just a few weeks after that, the Germans left Greece.

Fast forward eight years and my parents were introduced by their families in a typical-for-the-time matchmaking. They liked each other and agreed to marry. They had two children – me and my sister, Seli.

My father had two dreams for me. He wanted me to become a scientist and was hoping I would marry a nice Jewish girl. I am happy to say that he lived long enough to see both dreams come true. Unfortunately, he died before our children were born ... but my mom did live long enough to see them, which was the greatest of blessings.

So, that is the story of Mois and Sara Bourla. It’s a story that had a great impact on my life and my view of the world, and it is a story that, for the first time today, I share publicly.

However, when I received the invitation to speak at this event – at this moment in time when racism and hatred are tearing at the fabric of our great nation – I felt it was the right time to share the story of two simple people who loved, and were loved by, their family and friends. Two people who stared down hatred and built a life filled with love and joy. Two people whose names are known by very few … but whose story has now been shared with the members of the United States Congress – the world’s greatest and most just legislative body. And that makes their son very proud.

This brings me back to remembrance. As time marches on and today’s event shrinks in our rearview mirrors, I wouldn’t expect you to remember my parents’ names, but I implore you to remember their story. Because remembering gives each of us the conviction, the courage and the compassion to take the necessary actions to ensure their story is never repeated.

Thank you again for the invitation to speak today. And thank you for remembering.

Stay safe and stay well.

#Albert Bourla

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cootiebanini · 8 years ago

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Masterpost: Our Wedding

We planned our Miami Beach wedding in 11 months. These kinds of posts were super helpful while we were planning. Brides always want to know what other brides are doing. So, here you go.

Location: Fontainebleau Miami Beach. Picking the location and date were the most important parts of wedding planning. We got married on the Ocean Lawn, with cocktails in the Fleur de Lis, and the reception in the Fontaine ballroom.

Catering: Fontainebleau Miami Beach. All of the food was provided by the venue. We offered six appetizers, a macaroni and cheese station, a salad, choice of entree, and two desserts (creme brulee and wedding cake).

Wedding Planner: Eric Trelles. The venue required a wedding planner which we thought was strange, but it was absolutely worth the money. I would hire five Erics if I could.

Officiant: Rabbi Cheryl Jacobs. She incorporated Catholic, Filipino, and Jewish traditions in a breezy 20 minute ceremony under a chuppah.

Invitations: Paper Source. This was an unexpectedly large expense. Since our wedding was black tie, we wanted to have formal invitations. Formal paper is expensive.

Additional Stationery: Save-the-dates, thank you cards, and escort cards from Minted. We went with the gold foil and script theme for almost everything because it was easy.

Wedding Dress: “Edith” by Augusta Jones from Kleinfeld. My mom and sister really wanted to have a “Say Yes to the Dress” experience, so we went to Kleinfeld. I wasn’t expecting to buy my dress there, but my mom cried when I put my dress on, so we had to buy it.

Bride’s Accessories: Veil, hair comb, and shoes. My mom insisted that I wear a cathedral-length veil. Oh, moms.

Groom’s Tuxedo: Suit Supply. He bought his tuxedo from Bloomingdales.

Groom’s Accessories: Cufflinks and studs. Bling bling.

Wedding Bands: Tiffany and Co. We had a personal shopper (shout out to Debbie at the 5th Avenue store) and she made everything really easy. We also learned that the champagne served on the second floor is nicer than the champagne served on the other floors.

Photographer: Stacey Ambrosio. She’s based in Miami, but was able to come to NYC for an engagement session. All that advice about doing an engagement shoot with your wedding photographer is legit.

Flowers and Event Production: Al Davis of Agency BE. Al is some kind of wizard. He did the flowers, centerpieces, lighting, chairs, couches, linens...everything. We met with him twice and everything magically appeared.

Hair and Makeup: Styles for Miles and The Look by BJ. Both were recommended by @foshosfy and made everyone look beautiful.

Ceremony Music: Strings by Don Wilner and Federico Britos. I walked down the aisle to La Vie en Rose and our recessional was All You Need is Love.

Cocktails and Reception Music: The Chase Band. We never even considered a DJ. The room we were in demanded a live band, so we went for a ten-piece band with a horn section. Why not.

Photo Booth: Capture Pod. I’m so glad we got a photo booth. We won’t get our professional photos for 4-6 weeks, but we have these to hold us over. All the guys wanted to wear the Batman mask because they were wearing tuxedoes. Makes sense.

Favors: Bow tie cookies from Chez Bon Bon. Our original favors (black and white cookies from Zabars) never arrived due to the snow storm in NYC that week, but these were better. It all worked out.

Welcome Bags: Canvas tote bags filled with snacks, water, sunscreen, first aid items, postcards, an orange, champagne, and some personalized stuff from Etsy.

Cocktails and Brunch: We hosted cocktails on Friday night, and a farewell brunch on Sunday. We had a big turn out for both, and it was nice to have these extra opportunities to talk to our guests.

That’s it! I’m going to hang out with my husband now. Byeeeeee!

#wedding #wedding planning #miami beach #miami beach wedding

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biofunmy · 5 years ago

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Jewish Summer Camp With Campfires, Crafts and No Lights Out

As if on cue, the first camper I meet is a guy named Josh: a nice, 27-year-old Jewish boy with kind eyes, a subtle smile and the same name as my husband, another nice Jewish boy, back home.

“Do you know where Malbec is?” asks this Josh, Josh Blake, rolling his eyes, and then his suitcase, over a wide dirt path flanked by rickety cabins that have been renamed for the weekend. (Malbec and Cabernet, for the men; Pinot Grigio and Rosé for the women; Raisins for all.) “I don’t want to walk all the way over there, if it’s back there …” he says, sounding not unlike Woody Allen.

I don’t blame him. The camp is desert-hot and dusty. And he’s ultimately here, he later admits over bagels, because his parents paid the all-inclusive $525 for him to be. They met on this very land, albeit half a mile away. “Talk about pressure!” he says, laughing.

Ilana Rosenberg, 31, sitting nearby, agrees. “My mother said, ‘Have fun! Go meet your Jewish husband!’ My sister was like, ‘Mom, she could find a Jewish wife, too, you know’.”

American Jewish University owns these 2,800 acres in Southern California’s Simi Valley, which is home to rolling hills and herds of cows, the university’s Brandeis-Bardin Campus and Camp Alonim. Over the next three nights and four days, this 66-year-old summer camp for Jewish kids has been commandeered by a new kind of summer camp — Trybal Gatherings, for Jewish adults.

Trybal Gatherings was founded by Carine Warsawski, 34, a buoyant, Boston-bred M.B.A., with the goal of fostering lasting community among Jews in their 20s and 30s, and, ahem, a few in their 40s.

She held her first Gathering at Camp Eisner in the Berkshires in 2017, roping in mostly friends of friends. Over Labor Day weekend, it sold out, with 125 campers and a wait-list dozens’ deep. Last year, she added Wisconsin; next summer Atlanta, and has plans to expand from Seattle to Austin to Toronto.

Whereas traditions like Birthright Israel offer free trips to the homeland, Ms. Warsawski’s aim is to offer an immersive, low-commitment experience closer to home — one rooted not in Zionism or religious doctrine, but in the shared nostalgia of a Jewish-American rite of passage, complete with archery and horseback riding, and a roster that reads like it’s from the Old Testament. (At one point, I’d forgotten my name-necklace. “That’s O.K.!” someone joked. “It’s probably either Sarah or Rachel.”)

There are two main differences between Jewish kids’ camp and Jewish adults’ camp: No bedtime, and booze, lots of it. Kiddie-pools brimming with hard seltzer at Bubbe’s Beer Garden. Bottles of cheap wine at supper. Compostable flutes of bubbly at Arts & Crafts.

Also, adult campers have careers, though no one talks about them. Web developers and screenwriters, wedding planners and wardrobe stylists. And yes, a few doctors and lawyers. The majority came solo; others hand-in-hand and interfaith or happily married in matching outfits, like Emily and Rachel Leavitt — my Secret Santa, er, Mystery Moses.

It’s a mix of die-hard camp people reliving their glory days, once-homesick campers redoing their awkward years, and first-timers wondering what all the fuss is about. “My parents were immigrants from Iran! They didn’t know about camp!” says Baha Aghajani, 30. Neither did Saraf Shmutz, 39, who moved from Tel Aviv to San Diego. “My summers were ‘go play soccer and bug off.’”

As a writer who hasn’t been back to her camp, Young Judaea, in New Hampshire, in 25 years, I signed up to learn what’s moving Jews to opt for uncomfortable bunk beds and kosher-style mess halls, in lieu of a real vacation.

Trybal isn’t the only over-21 camp cropping up these days. Nor is it the only Jewish one. Camp Nai Nai Nai, which also operates on both coasts, and attracts a post-college, more conservative crowd. And “55+” Orthodox Jews have been davening at summer retreats for decades at places like Isabella Freedman where campers crochet kippahs and take day trips to Tanglewood, in the Berkshires.

Trybal is arguably the only camp, though, that starts the day with an “Abe Weissman Workout,” a calisthenics routine straight out of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” (Tomato juice refreshers included, but no rompers.)

It’s also, explains Ms. Warsawski, “a place for people who are more -ish than Jew.” Like Molly Shapiro, 28, of Berkeley. ““This is my jam!” she says. “Synagogues today aren’t really designed for us. We want something less traditional, more affordable, more fun. I mean, playing cornhole isn’t Jewish, but we’re playing cornhole together!”

Togetherness is what Trybal is all about. The schedule is packed from early morning to midnight with get-to-know-you-games and group activities like partner massage and mah-jongg, pickling and pool time.

The next morning, I pass up dreamcatcher-making for challah baking. “Oh yeah, this is what I’m here for,” says Abel Horwitz, a young Robert Downey Jr., kneading dough we’ll later braid and adorn with toppings beyond the traditional sesame. Rainbow sprinkles. Peaches. Jalapeños. “Will 20 loaves be enough for all 60 of us tonight,” some Jews worry.

Next, it’s a tossup between the relationship workshop and the ropes course. I decide I like humans more than heights and head over to hear what the visiting Rabbi Sherre Hirsch, has to say. She reads a passage from the 20th-century philosopher Emmanuel Levinas and tells us to partner up. A 26-year-old named Sam and I stare into each other’s faces for a full five minutes. “Sit with the discomfort,” the rabbi urges. Reluctantly, I do. I smile. He winks. I wiggle, examining his wrinkle-free forehead and bushy eyebrows bound to grow bushier in old age, until my awkwardness turns to calm. I’m overwhelmed by a deep feeling of curiosity and compassion for this man, for myself, for humanity.

“That was a good reminder,” Ms. Aghajani says afterward. “To give people more of a chance. To not swipe so fast.”

After a grilled cheese buffet, there’s solar art and yoga and Slip-n-Slide kickball. I head for the hammocks, where a guy with long red hair is lounging in a tie-dyed Helvetica T-shirt that reads “Falafel & Sabich & Hummus & Schwarma.” It’s his third Trybal. He is the camp guitarist, and a rocket scientist in real life.

“I come to be a kid again,” Jeremy Hollander, 34, says. He pauses. “And to, you know, be with my people.” In real life, he doesn’t bring up the fact he’s Jewish. “‘Hollander’ isn’t ‘Schwartzenbaum’. People see me and usually think I’m Scottish or something.” He feels safer that way. Especially today, he says, with rising anti-Semitism. “The flame is being fanned. You never know who has what opinions. Here, I can let my hair down.” (Although, technically, it’s in a ponytail.)

“The only one thing I have to worry about at camp,” he says, “is when am I going to squeeze in a shower?”

Still, before sundown, we all emerge from our bunks neat and clean and dressed in white. “Can you believe I got this for $2.99 at Saks Off Fifth!” exclaims Lauren Katz, a volunteer staffer wearing lace. (We can’t.)

Picture time. “Say Cheese!” the camp photographer instructs. “But we’re lactose intolerant!” someone cries from the crowd.

We gather in a stone-lined grove, to sing and sway and cheek-kiss “Shabbat Shalom,” before making our way to the dining hall for a sit-down dinner of roast chicken. And, of course, plenty of challah.

It’s all so familiar to me. The tunes are different, but the Hebrew words are the same. The trees are eucalyptus, not pine, and Mr. Hollander is not the longhaired, tie-dye-clad musician from my old camp, and yet — he could be.

I agree with what he said earlier. There is something easy and assuring about spending a summer weekend like I used to (albeit for eight whole weeks): with my people. Or, at least with people who remind me of my people. New friends bonded by old memories.

Trybal is like a modern millennial shtetl, where gesundheits fly. And “Hava Nagila” plays at a Hawaiian luau. And campfire stories include, “How I Became a ‘Nice Jewish Guys’ Calendar Model.”

It’s an alternate, insular world where I find myself running through a field, streaked in war paint, chanting: “We have spirit, because we’re Blues! We have spirit because we’re Jews!”

It’s a universe where conversation flows from the Netflix show “Shtisel” to the lack of Jews in Santa Barbara to the universal disdain for online dating (despite the fact that Trybal is sponsored by JSwipe), to whether Ms. Rosenberg indeed met her future husband.

“We’ll see,” she says, smiling. She did make-out at Arts & Crafts with the Trybal barista: a boy she barely remembers being at her bat mitzvah.

On the last night, I slip quietly out of the luau, where the D.J. is rocking “Lean On Me.” I leave the Leavitt ladies in their twin Hawaiian shirts and my Rosé bunkmates dancing the macarena. Mr. Shmutz and the Cabernets are making reunion plans. Mr. Blake is flirting with one of his crushes.

I have an early flight to catch. Back to my husband and kids and, in a way, the future. In the morning, I’ll miss the friendship bracelets and the compliment circle and, like a true last day of camp: tears. For a moment I have FOMO. And then I realize, it’s fine. Sometimes an Irish goodbye is just as good as a Jewish one.

Rachel Levin is a contributor to the Travel section and the author, with Wise Sons Deli, of “EAT SOMETHING,” to be published in March, by Chronicle Books.

52 PLACES AND MUCH, MUCH MORE Follow our 52 Places traveler, Sebastian Modak, on Instagram as he travels the world, and discover more Travel coverage by following us on Twitter and Facebook. And sign up for our Travel Dispatch newsletter: Each week you’ll receive tips on traveling smarter, stories on hot destinations and access to photos from all over the world.

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darinb · 7 years ago

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Traditions- Slaying the Holy Cow

Traditions are something like this... A mother was preparing a pot roast for her family’s Easter meal while her young daughter helped. Knowing her daughter was very curious, the mother explained each step. As she was preparing to put the pot roast in the oven, the mother explained, “Now we cut the ends off of each side of the meat.” As young children often do, the daughter asked, “Why?” The mother thought for a moment and replied, “Because that’s the way it’s done. That’s how your grandma did it and that’s how I do it.”

Not satisfied with this answer, the young girl asked if she could call her grandma. The young girl called and asked, “Grandma, why do you cut the ends off the pot roast?” Her grandma thought for a moment and said, “Because that’s the way it’s done. That’s how my mom did it and that’s how I do it.”

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Still not satisfied, the young girl called her great grandma, who was now living in a nursing home. “Great grandma,” she said, “Why do you cut the ends off the pot roast?” Her great grandma said, “When I was a young mother, we had a very small oven. The pot roast wouldn’t fit in the oven if I didn’t cut the ends off.” Everyone loves tradition, including me, and including God. God set up many traditions in the Old Testament to remind people of what He had said and done, and Jesus instigated traditions like communion in His day. Tradition is all around us. I remember laying a wreath at the Canberra war memorial in honour of my grandfather. They played the last post, we had careful instructions on how to walk, how to place the wreath. It was all very vivid and special to me, and the tradition made it all the more powerful and memorable. Go to the RSL, support a football club or watch cricket… tradition is all around us and loved by most of us. In cricket for example, we have just defeated the English in the Ashes series. We compete for a tiny cup within which lie the ashes. This came about after Australia’s first win in a test match in England at the Oval 1882, when a newspaper jokingly lamented the death of English cricket. The mock obituary stated that English cricket had died, and "the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia". They burned the bails, put them in a tiny container, and that is what Aussie and English cricketers have competed over for more than 130 years! So much tradition in sport, in parliament, law courts, schools, in families and especially in the Church! People love tradition, it brings them together, it feeds nostalgia. People talk about the good old days, do you remember them? I don’t think they were that good, but we always remember the good bits, not the bad. Tradition is definitely a part of church life, but increasingly those who oppose God sometimes want the traditions, without the God. Fiona’s brother and his wife just had something recently called a naming ceremony, which honestly is a baby dedication in every way without having God! Same sex marriage is the same. Gay couples had all the legal rights of union, but strangely they want to have an actual wedding and be called married. Why? Because people love traditions. Traditions bring stability, strength and honour.

HOLY COW!

Tradition is one of the holy cows of all religions, including Christianity. We gain strength and solidarity in traditions, but even in the Church today, much of what we do is not Biblical it is traditions. Please do not misunderstand… I am not against tradition, I love it! Many of our traditions are good, and positive, but sometimes tradition grows in importance and actually eclipses what God says! We must make a clear distinction between what we do in the name of tradition and what we do in obedience to Christ. Jesus met the issue of traditional religion head on in Mark 7, where a special delegation of legal experts came to challenge Jesus. They challenged Jesus because His disciples seemed to be breaking the time honoured rules of the Sabbath and ritual cleaning Mark 7:5-9 (ESV Strong's) And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?” And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, “‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’ You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.” And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition!

ELDER TRADITIONS

The issue in question here was not Scripture, but what was known as the tradition of the elders. These were rules created by Jewish leaders and were human traditions which often superseded God’s revealed Word. So what did these rules involve, and what effect did they have? Let me offer a few samples… The Mishnah, a compilation of Jewish oral laws made at the end of the second century A.D., says, "Tradition is a fence around the law." Tradition, as the Jews saw it, protected God's Holy Word and assisted God’s people in keeping it. This fencing of the Law probably began well enough, but as the years passed it produced some famous absurdities. For example, in an effort to protect the Sabbath from being broken through inadvertent labor, the devout were given an amazing list of prohibitions —fences. For example, looking in the mirror was forbidden, because if you looked into the mirror on the Sabbath day and saw a gray hair, you might be tempted to pull it out and thus perform work on the Sabbath. You also could not wear your false teeth; if they fell out, you would have to pick them up and you would be working. In regard to carrying a burden, you could not carry a handkerchief on the Sabbath, but you could wear a handkerchief. That meant if you were upstairs and wanted to take the handkerchief downstairs, you would have to tie it around your neck, walk downstairs, and untie it. Then you could blow your nose downstairs! The rabbis debated about a man with a wooden leg: if his home caught on fire, could he carry his wooden leg out of the house on the Sabbath? One could spit on the Sabbath, but you had to be careful where. If it landed on the dirt and you scuffed it with your sandal, you would be cultivating the soil and thus performing work. For many in Jesus’ day, ritual replaced a relationship with God; reputation was more important than godliness. Jesus labeled these attitudes as hypocrisy. Our spiritual growth can succeed only if we are willing to have our hearts and outward actions changed according to God’s Word, not man’s bright ideas.

OUR TRADITIONS

Before we start feeling too pious, let’s pause to remember that we all have traditions in Church and worship. Yes, even in Ignite, we have traditions. We share communion every week, that’s a tradition. Some of us dressing nice for Church. We start with worship the same way every week… tradition again! These may be good, some perhaps not so good, and none of them seem as absurd as the Mishnah traditions. I’ve often heard people in Pentecostal churches refer to another churches as “traditional”, but don’t be fooled, we Pentecostals are as traditional as they are, just in different ways. They have responsive readings, we pray in a certain way. We dunk, they sprinkle. We raise our hands, they do not… both are traditions. Colossians 2:8 (ESV Strong's) See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. The Greek word for tradition is Paradosis, which is the same as used by Jesus with the Pharisees. And while many traditions are comforting and can be helpful, some can also take us captive and steer us away from God! Traditions are fine, but they are hollow, devoid of any teal life. What sustains us in our hour of need is not traditions but the power of God, the Word of God and the Spirit of God! So we must be on guard!

TRADITION… THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

Church traditions can point us to Christ, or steer us away from Jesus. Most of us enjoy communion every week, but do we let it grow stale and “same ol, same ol”? The problem many times is often not so much in the tradition itself, but in our attitude to it. All around us, people are in churches where they feel obligated to stay but are slowly dying. Some have loads of ritual, but zero relationship. Some have lots liturgies but no life. Some provide entertainment but no encounter. Many older denominations are steeped in religious traditions that have nothing to do with God, and are impossible to find in His Word. And let’s face it, some of our modern churches have the same, just in a modern guise! And this is the point… religious traditions can be good, bad or just plain ugly. How do we know the difference? How can we figure out and embrace good traditions and reject the bad? The only standard we can have is the Word of God. But not everything is specifically addressed in the Bible. However, principles are in the Bible. The Bible does not say, “Thou must not take drugs,” but in many places it talks of self control in places like Galatians 5, which is clearly affected by drug taking. It doesn’t specifically mention smoking, cyberporn, cell phones or Facebook, rock music, styles of worship, etc. but clearly lays out behaviour that applies to these modern phenomenon. It should be the same in Church. We can embrace traditions, sure, but only those that align with God’s Word. And some church traditions are clearly human in origin. Nowhere does it say that priests must be celibate, that’s a human tradition. Nowhere does it say you cannot eat meat on Friday. Nowhere does it say you have to sing certain songs or do certain rituals. Nowhere does it command us to make the sign of the cross, or use bells and smells when we worship. These human traditions were originally brought in by well meaning men for noble reasons, but let’s be clear, they are not God’s Word! Titus 1:13-14 (ESV Strong's) Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth. The thing is man made traditions in religions were designed to remind us of God, but ultimately man made traditions do not set us free, they binds us, fences us in and controls us. Many times people choose religion instead of God, and however noble the intent of the religious tradition. I recently saw a program on notorious drug dealer Pablo Escobar, who murdered, extorted, exploited and fornicated his way through life, but still worshipped at a Catholic Church, went to confession and made the sign of the cross. 2 Corinthians 3:6 (ESV Strong's) For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. Religion and human tradition, as good as it might be, in the end kills rather than brings life if it is not based on the Word of God and directed by the Holy Spirit. And Religious tradition often has a sinister spirit behind it, one of control and superiority. Let’s look at what Jesus said in Mark and pull back the curtain and see what is really behind not all but some man made traditions...

1. TRADITION AND FEELING SUPERIOR

Religion makes you feel pious, superior and better than the next person. We think we are the best, our denomination has it right and everybody else is wrong. God calls this pride! The ritualistic washings the Jewish leaders talked about in Mark 7 gave them a sense of being “special”, and that other people were “unclean”! If a Jew went to the marketplace to buy food, he might be “defiled” by a Gentile or (God forbid!) a Samaritan. This tradition had begun centuries before to remind the Jews that they were God’s elect people and therefore had to keep themselves morally clean and separated. However, this good reminder had gradually degenerated into an empty ritual, a set of holier than Thou rules and the result was pride and religious isolation. And listen, we can be just as superior. I cannot tell you how many good Pentecostal people have smugly told me that others are “not Spirit filled” as if they are inferior. Being filled with the Spirit of God is a joy and a blessing, it can be a powerhouse for your spiritual life, but it is not a higher rank than another believer. At Ignite Christian Church, we value unity and love for one another above any specific gift. That’s why when Paul talked about tongues and prophecy in 1 Corinthians 12 and 14, he placed the great love chapter right in the middle. Why? He said he wants us all to exercise the gifts, but we need to love one another more than we love the making others do what we want. That being said, do I want us all to be filled with the Spirit? Absolutely! I want us all on fire for Christ, I desire to see every person ignited with a passion for Jesus that consumes them. But as your pastor, I’m not here to be superior, and I refuse to force you to do something that you are not comfortable with.. I am here to serve! Luke 18:10-14 (ESV Strong's) “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” Religion makes us feel superior, but Jesus calls us to be servants.

2. TRADITION AND MANIPULATION

The second thing tradition can do is be used to manipulate. In the passage we started with in Mark 7, Jesus Himself sites a specific example of how people can use religious traditions to control and manipulate for their own ends. Mark 7:9-13 (ESV Strong's) And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.” The situation is that the fifth commandment of the law stating you should honour and care for your parents in their age. These religious leaders saw a loophole that trumped caring for your ailing parents. If you “dedicated” your money to God, you could hang onto it and not give towards your parents care. Tradition manipulates the situation, in much the same way as Jehovah’s Witnesses use religious tradition and control in teaching their people that they have to witness door to door to get to heaven… they have no assurance of salvation like we do, but the sect gets an endless stream of workers going door to door! I have seen pastors in our churches using religious tradition to manipulate and control people, to force them to do what the leader wants. This is not leadership, this is abuse, and Jesus got real mad about this kind of religious abuse! Again, traditions are great but they must not be a tool for control or superiority.

WHEN TRADITION CROSSES THE LINE

People love traditions, and we in the Church do also. They remind us of great truths or great blessings. But Jesus addressed the Pharisees about this because they were substituting traditions of men for the Word of God. A tradition may actually be good and may be established for a very good reason. However, it crosses the line and becomes evil when it is a substitute for the Word of God in later generations. And that is what has happened to these people here. Anything we establish that is not according to God’s Word is going to become destructive and controlling. And you can see this in many denominations today, some of which started great and have dropped away to become a shell. Every move of God comes in 4 stages. A man, a movement, a machine and a monument. It starts with a man, a dynamic man who has a dynamic, God given vision. Look at John Wesley and Methodism, William Booth and the Salvation Army. Look at Amy Semple McPherson and the Four Square movement. Great men and woman, great power, and great anointing. This then gives rise to a movement, and the denomination gains influence and grows in numbers. But after some time, maybe a generation or two, people are just going through the motions. It becomes a machine, still big and influential, but it’s lost its edge, it’s lost its Holy Spirit power. It’s lost its specific calling and anointing. It finishes up a monument to past glories. Man, movement, machine, monument. Where are we? In our Bible reading this week in Mark 11, Jesus cursed the fig tree which was in bloom. Why? Is it because he doesn’t like figs? No, it was a comment in the Pharisees and the religious traditions of the day. He was saying, “you look the part, you look and act religious, but there is no fruit!” Let this be a warning to us. It is not our religion, not our tradition, not our gifts or Bible scholarship that impresses Christ. It is the fruit of the Spirit that He is looking for.

IGNITING TRADITIONS

Told you I would slay a few holy cows this morning! Many of you here have come from different churches with different traditions, and I love that you’ve found a home here. Many have only ever know Pentecostalism, and I love that you have accepted and embraced those who think slightly differently to you. We face a choice this morning, and interestingly this is the same choice that the people of Israel faced Millenia ago… Exodus 20:18-21 (ESV Strong's) Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was. The people had a unique opportunity, to establish an intimate and special relationship with God, one where He would talk directly to them. But they were afraid, they feared God and were fearful of what He might ask them to do. So they told Moses to go and talk to God for them, then relay the message to them, while they stood afar off, distant from God. I think we can all agree that human tradition is no substitute for the Word of God, right?

RELIGION OR RELATIONSHIP… YOUR CHOICE

God wants relationship, not religion. He doesn’t want tradition, He wants to touch you. But some of us, because we are scared, because we are comfortable with certain traditions, we choose law over love, and religion over relationship. But today, I believe that God is asking us to choose Him, and take a chance on a God who loves you. Let us never choose anything, any belief, any tradition over a close relationship with the Lord. I love most of our traditions, but I refuse to let whether you speak in tongues or not, whether you prophesy or not, whether you like hymns or like popular songs, whether you’ve been baptised in water or baptised in the Spirit, I refuse to let that stand between us! Unity is where the Lord bestows blessing, and God has called Ignite to be a church of unity! We must be one in the Spirit, and while we may not see eye to eye, we can still walk hand in hand and arm in arm. 2 Timothy 2:23-24 (ESV Strong's) Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, Church, we stand on the brink of something Mighty here at Ignite. God is unrolling, unfurling a vision before me that is the most exciting I have ever been a part of. And you are a part of it too! So let us agree to set aside the things that separate, even if you think you are right, and let us agree to love first and foremost. Let us agree that our standard is simply the Bible. If it’s in here, it’s in. If it’s not, it’s not! But ultimately we face the same decision the people of Israel faced… rules or relationship. This is why I continue to remind you of the Bible reading plan. I’m not trying to control you, but if you read this every day, just 2 chapters a day, then you will grow your relationship. If not this plan, do another, but will you covenant with me to endeavour to read His Word and pray every day? Tun off Facebook, click the TV off and read or listen to 2 chapters a day. Then you will discover life abundantly, a greater life in God than you have ever experienced, and all the things you need will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (ESV Strong's) But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

https://ignitechurch.org.au/?p=2366

#adventchurchtraditions #anglicanchurchtraditions #apostolicchurchtraditions #bibleandtraditions #bibleinitstraditions #bibleortraditions #biblescripturesontraditions #bibletraditions #churchtraditions #churchtraditionstoday #earlychurcheastertraditions #tradition

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theboardwalkbody · 7 years ago

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47, 42, 37?

37. What’s your relationship with religion like?

The short version: Complicated

The long version: I was brought up Roman Catholic at my paternal sides VEHEMENCE. The same forcefulness that forced a Jewish woman to convert and baptize her children unless she force them and herself to face ridicule their entire lives at the hand of their own family members. My mom, a Methodist, was never too religious and mostly celebrated the Major Holidays and called it a day. The Roman Catholic side ALSO celebrated the Major Holy Days (added Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday) but were never the ‘grace before meals and church every Sunday variety’. But for some reason the ALIGNMENT or DESIGNATION of Roman Catholic was/is a DEFINING CHARACTER TRAIT. This I do not understand. Anyway - my mom refused to convert despite their protests.

Still - I attended a Christian Pre-school (location was a factor) and before/after classes we would say the Our Father. I was baptized as Catholic, I was enrolled in CCD (I still have no idea what that stands for) and attended every Sunday during the school year. I made my Holy Communion and my Confirmation. My mom picked out Cecilia (saint of music) for my Confirmation name because of how much I liked music. My sponsor (the person who is with you when you make your confirmation and is ‘responsible for guiding you to jesus’ or something) was one of my Aunts. I was my sister’s sponsor for her confirmation as at the time my parents were in the middle of a nasty divorce and my mom did not want my dad or his family to be there (as a huge FUCK YOU because THEY are the Catholics) and because my mom and her family are Methodist they can not be sponsors. So I was the only option.

But what does this mean? I have no idea.

1. I hardly understand any of my own religion. I don’t know the difference between Catholic and Christian. Why are fucking FB notifications popping up on my computer all of a sudden I did not authorize this what the fuck. I learned NOTHING in CCD despite the fact I was SUPPOSED to be taught about the Saints and the various religious texts. I never paid attention because I was bored the fuck out of my mind. I never really cared.

2. But I was scared. Catholicism, in my own personal experience, is based on FEAR a lot. NEVER DO THIS AND NEVER DO THAT BECAUSE YOU WILL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL DO NOT PASS GO DO NOT COLLECT 200.00. I have been to church only when FORCED for someone’s baptism or communion or confirmation (or my own) or marriage. Here’s the three things you experience in church: a) lovely music that is kind of warming to the soul, b) SINNERS GO TO HELL c) your family members yelling at you to sit still, be quiet, do not embarrass us, be a perfect little angel all while you are UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK in a starchy dress because apparently when you go to church you need to be dressed like you’re about to meet God himself.

I was always scared I would go to Hell for one thing or another growing up: swearing, lying, stealing an eraser from a classmates desk in 2nd grade and feeling guilty so ditching it in a different classmates desk a few feet away, and masturbating. LOL During your confirmation you’re supposed to go into a confession box and confess all your sins so you can start your Confirmed Life free of sin - I didn’t tell the priest about my masturbating and when he asked “is that all you have to confess?” I said yes. So I started my Confirmed Life with two sins: a) chronic masturbating, and b) I fucking lied to a priest. So I assume I am going to Hell in a hand-basket.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to a synagogue a few times by a friend. I remember I was TERRIFIED the first time I went. I assumed, due to ignorance and my only experience thus far, that I would be yelled at and dammed - the norm at church. I tagged along anyway, to make my friend happy, and borrowed some clothes to attend (black skirt and shoes, white shirt). I was even more scared after learning there was an even stricter dress code than Church. As I sat there, trying to understand the words the rabbi was saying for a SOLID TWENTY MINUTES before leaning over and asking my friend “wait - is he speaking English?” only to have her look at me with WTF written all over her face and reply “no....”, I was so paranoid I’d be “found out”. What I mean is - I felt like an Outsider. Like I was Intruding. Like I had “Catholic” stamped all over my forehead and everyone could see it clear as day and that someone, eventually, would stand up and shout at me to leave and curse me for desecrating a holy place with my presence. None of that happened, naturally, but when my friend and her family went to the rabbi after the service to discuss with him plans for her bat mitzvah I was shaking with fear because HE’S LIKE IN CHARGE AND WE’RE TALKING TO HIM AND HE’S DEF GOING TO KNOW I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. Anyway - I was never kicked out, I went back a few more times and the anxiety went away. My mom was like ‘that’s cool - it’s a new experience’ and when my GRANDMOTHER found out... well, she flipped. “DO YOU STILL LOVE JESUS? YOU’RE GOING TO GO TO HELL IF YOU EVER GO BACK THERE. YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH TOMORROW. YOU NEED TO BEG JESUS FORGIVENESS”. I went back a few more times and just didn’t tell her.

I think I actually liked it better than Church.

And other side note: whenever Jewish people happen to ask me my religion (not often but it has happened a few times working in the hospital and once during nursing school) I always feel really bad about telling them I am Catholic. I become ashamed and feel like I need to apologize. I never quite understood that, until I met a Jewish Classmate who explained that “all the Catholic’s I have met in the past have been really antisemitic”. And then I remembered my grandmothers treatment of Jewish people, including my aunt and cousins - her own grandchildren - and I realized. I feel like I owe everyone an apology on behalf of people like my grandmother.

3. Here’s my Adult Feelings. I don’t have a problem with religion. Any of them. I also don’t have a problem with anyone’s lack of religion. As long as you’re NOT AN ASSHOLE then you and I are good. I don’t go to church - I don’t care to. I do not want a religious wedding ceremony. I will PROBABLY baptize my children (unless perhaps I go the route of my uncle and marry outside of my religion in which I will allow my children to get older and DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES what they would like to do/which religion they want IF ANY - this was what my aunt and uncle wanted to do before my grandma and some other family members got involved). I will teach my children what I know - Jesus is a dude I guess - here’s easter and christmas and here’s your presents. But it’s never going to be a Big Deal. Because it’s not a Big Deal to me.

4. Why It’s Complicated. Do I believe that God exists? I want to say yes, but I know I say it out of FEAR. I believe “I may not go to church, and I may curse like a sailor and masturbate like my fucking health depends on it, but fuck - I know I am a morally sound person and God knows this, too, therefore He can judge me in the way I conduct myself with other human beings. I don’t need to get on my knees and send him postcards for him to know I’m Good™.” However - recently I’ve had some Jesse Custer level moments of “God, I am reaching out and I really need some fucking help here” only to be met with NOTHING in response. I prayed during my Nursing School Grade Appeal meeting. Just praying for ANYTHING so I could get back into the program. What happened? Reality happened - I did NOT get back into that program. In that moment I thought: That’s it - there is no God at least not one who GAF about me. I cried harder.This month I went to a University to try and get into their nursing program. Upon arriving at my meeting I was told I had been misinformed and the school did NOT offer a Nursing Program. As I waited for the woman at the desk to grab the advisor anyway to discuss options I tried praying again - just for things to work out. They didn’t and I got angry - Of course they didn’t work, I thought, because it’s all a bunch of Bullshit.

SO yeah - it’s complicated. I verge on “It’s all bullshit” after spending about 10yrs thinking “well MAYBE it’s not - maybe it’s real - but I’ll be judged on my treatment of others, not on my practice of going to church and shit”. And even still all of it was based on FEAR. Also the sky outside has gone from green to red. What a storm.

42. What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?

I am afraid that I am capable of fucking my entire life up. In two ways:

1. Suicide2. Self-Sabotage.

In terms of Issue 1 - I have gotten close with a lot of thoughts in the past. Three times I almost actually carried through with it. Twice spontaneously, and once was a “if no one answers my next phone call for help I am going to just give up and go swallow all those pills”. Someone did answer that phone. I called 5 people because I think deep down I didn’t want to give up, but every phone call that went unanswered I got closer and closer to ending it. My stepbrother answered call #5 on what I am almost convinced was one of the last rings. In the past I maybe had something to stop me - something saying ‘you need to live because XYZ needs you or because you need to ABC’. I’ve got none of that left anymore.

In terms of Issue 2 - I talked about it a little the other day, but my therapist isn’t wrong in regards to the fact that all my behaviors are destroying myself. I complain about being broke and yet I spend every dollar I have on garbage and food. I complain that I am unattractive and overweight and yet I continuously eat nothing but fast food and go out to restaurants by myself. I am out of shape and have high cholesterol, I continue to sit on my ass and shove fried food in my mouth. I want to get back into Nursing School but I spent all summer moping about not being in Nursing School and Having No Money and Being Depressed that I made 0 fucking effort to get back INTO it. I want to be hired as a nurse for the company I work for and yet I call out of work constantly and now have gotten FUCKING IN TROUBLE for it. It’s like I have two lists in my head. Good Wants (nursing career, weight loss, health increase) and Bad Wants (immediate satisfaction: clothes, food, vacations, etc.) and the ONLY wants I give into are the BAD ones.

Yes, it’s hard - I’ve got the Anxiety and the Depression. I have no motivation, think everything is pointless, and have 0 hope for the future.

But I am also lazy and impulsive and both of those things need to stop. I have coddled myself all summer and said it was OK to lay down and Give Up. Hell, LAST NIGHT I laid in bed and thought “but what if I did just give up? what if I quit my job, stopped going to school, and just decided to lay down in bed and never move again. I could be 800lbs and shit myself and then probably go to jail for never paying any of my bills - maybe I could say I’m insane and be locked up in a psych facility for the rest of my life - I could go through the motions of just existing every day.”. Of course it isn’t what I WANT with my life - I want to LIVE it and I want to be HAPPY - but this is the way I function anymore.

I am single-handedly destroying my OWN life. And that I KNOW I am capable of now.

47. Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?

I understand this to mean “take blame for you” and not “have you ever pushed someone down” but yes - I have actually pushed someone and they fell down. I shoved a friend of mine back when we were like 14 and he tripped over a log behind him and fell on his ass. He was very upset and didn’t want to talk to me for a bit until I apologized. I feel bad now because I know what inspired the push and it was REALLY SHITTY of me to do it. But yeah.

Anyway - the real question: The only thing I can remember is that time I stole that eraser from my classmates desk back in second grade but then I felt guilty (and also knew that they would recognize the eraser as theirs if I took it out) and ditched it in a different classmates desk.

My logic there was: they wont think it was me because they’ll see it in THEIR desk and not MY desk and they will thing THAT PERSON stole it and get mad at THEM instead of me because they won’t know I did it. I honestly don’t remember the outcome of it. But I don’t think anything happened. I think, if I remember correctly, the person pulled it out of their desk and was like “how did this get in my desk” and handed it back to the proper owner and said “i found your eraser in my desk I don’t know how it got there, but here you can have it back” and the owner said “ok thanks”. and it was 100% not a big deal because they were both confused as fuck.

I KNOW I GET REALLY IN-DEPTH WITH THESE I AM SORRY BUT DO PLEASE ASK MORE.

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mialipsky-blog · 8 years ago

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Winter Wedding Dubbed by the Couple as a ‘Champagne-Soaked Dance Party’

I think it should be a new thing that we ask all couples how to describe their wedding day in five words or less. Because this stunning duo, came up with THE best one: ‘Champagne-Soaked Dance Party’. Now, doesn’t that sound like a wedding you want to attend? SoCo Events added their pretty touch and it’s classic elegance at it’s best. Join me in The Vault for more captured by Bonnie Sen.

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From the newlyweds… How We Met: This question has a few answers. According to Facebook, we cross paths at some point while we were both at Vanderbilt in 2009. Technically, we were first introduced, as grown ups, at Hill Country BBQ as we were both helping out with a young Vandy alumni fundraising event. It was an informal host committee meeting and Matt was the only person at the table that I did not know. I thought he was cute and he apparently thought I “looked SO Vanderbilt.” However, we did not speak much at the dinner, besides a few stolen glances and watching Matt spill BBQ sauce all over his suit. After that encounter, a mutual friend and I were gchatting as I was complaining about the lack of nice men in DC. This friend, Theo, suggested that he could set me up with his old Vandy buddy Matt McGrath the next time he was in DC and we’d be a good match. About two weeks later, I unexpectedly bumped into Matt at a friend of a friend’s house party in Adams Morgan. After asking him to pour a drink, for reasons unknown to me, the next words that blurted out of my mouth were “Theo says we should date” Matt took it in stride with some mild amusement.

What was the bride’s first impression? My first impression of Matt was that he was very cute and how did I never lay eyes on him while I was at Vanderbilt. He was charming, polite, and well dressed, albeit a messy eater.

What was the groom’s first impression? I have always found Sarah captivating because she’s this tall, beautiful woman who is charming, assertive and unafraid all at the same time. About two minutes into our first conversation, Sarah told me that we shared a close mutual friend in New York, who had told her that she and I should date. I took a sip of my drink and responded, “Well, I think we should try that.”

I also love to read, and Sarah said she did too, so I gave her a little test. After our first date I offered her a couple books on politics that I thought she’d like. (Sarah still makes fun of me for giving her “homework.”) But she thanked me for the recommendations and finished both books by our third date.

Our First Date: Our first real “date” was on a Wednesday night at Brasserie Beck on March 14, 2012. After hitting it off majorly on Saturday night, I was expecting Matt to immediately call/text/date me. By Tuesday morning and radio silence I was a bit panicked. But, rather than a rash of somewhat inconsequential texts or emails that I had come to expect in the DC dating pool, Matt actually CALLED me on Tuesday afternoon and asked me to meet him on Wednesday night. He suggested Brasserie Beck, which was about 5 minutes from my then apartment. He asked if I could do 8 PM. At the time, I was a teacher with the Teach For America program and started my days at 5:45 AM, meaning dinner time for me was the early bird special at 5:30 pm, so I assumed he meant for a drink. I admittedly tried to arrive late, against my natural inclination, and actually stood around the corner and waited for him to walk in first. When we were seated for actual dinner, I was surprised – he was so grown up was my initial reaction, an actual meal! I also had sort of already eaten dinner. He was very sweet and charming and tried to impress me with his French and his reasoning for choosing a Belgian restaurant (he interned at the EU in Brussels during college). We ended up talking until around midnight – way past my bedtime.

How long did you date before getting engaged: We dated from March 2012 to January 2015

Where and How We Got Engaged: (Matt and I had discussed getting engaged a bit and I already knew that over Christmas he was planning to ask my dad permission (over a scotch at 10 AM during my nephew’s breakfast with Santa, it turns out). In his very Matt way, he had told me to plan for “Q3 2015” – obviously trying to make light of the situation while reassuring me. During 2013 and 2014, I was traveling quite a bit for work and had racked up a number of frequent flier miles. We were originally planning to take a trip to Argentina, but the flights and times didn’t seem to work out. Instead, we decided to go to Northern India. We arrived in Delhi in January 2015; I had gotten my nails done just in case he was going to pop the question. However, after our first night and nada, I sort of assumed that he wouldn’t want to carry a diamond all over India in the next 10 days, so assumed it wasn’t happening. During our amazing trip we kept get upgraded to nicer rooms or suites and the staff kept congratulating us and calling me Mrs. McGrath. Every time, Matt sort of nervously laughed – I assumed since he was getting awkward at the insinuation.

Our final night in India, we were in Jaipur – the Gem City in Rajasthan. Matt arranged for us to have dinner at the Rambagh Palace, once the residence of the Maharaja of Jaipur, which was converted to a hotel when the royal family moved out in the late 1950s. Before we left for dinner, he had arranged for a nail appointment for me in the hotel. I wasn’t sure if it was a sign or if he was just thinking my curry stained polish was looking a little rough. Once we left for dinner, Matt started to sweat profusely. Arriving at the hotel, the GM met us at the door and gave us a tour of the palace. Again, the royal treatment seemed a bit odd. Finally we concluded at a giant fountain in the back of the palace that was spraying water way into the air and beautifully lit up. Matt got down on one knee and asked if I would marry him. Earlier in the day, he had bought a little emerald bracelet to propose with and had the real ring waiting for me in DC. We then had the most amazing 6 course menu on gold plates, followed by a huge chocolate cake on a bed of roses. Truly magical!

How long were you engaged before getting married: We were engaged exactly 1 year and 7 days. We initially thought about the weekend prior, so we would have an exactly one year engagement, but thank GOD we did not as that turned out to be the weekend of the snowpocalypse and were totally snowed in. I really wanted a winter wedding and Matt did not want a long engagement. He asked if we could go to the court house multiple times to just make it official already.

Bride’s Favorite Wedding Detail: I have too many to count, but I think my favorite detail was the custom made soft seating from Edge Floral. It was a beautiful mirrored gold chair, couch and table, covered in a rich velvet. It was so beautiful and made the space cozy and comfortable and kept everyone in the room.

I also LOVED the welcome bag details – the theme of DC came across with all of the customized stickers and the water bottle wraps, not to mention the capital shaped cookies and campaign pins! The velvet bags that held the hangover kits were also so fun and luxe.

Groom’s Favorite Wedding Detail: I was totally blown away by the attention to detail that Soco Events and the Four Seasons put into the wedding reception. We really wanted a reception where all our family and friends would dance, so I appreciated the cocktail napkins that helped people build their confidence. I think one said, “Trust me, you can dance. -Vodka”. Note from Sarah – Matt picked out great crushed velvet tuxedo slippers for himself and all the groomsmen

Biggest Surprise of Wedding: (from Matt) When Sarah and I started our first dance, I was totally confused when at first I couldn’t recognize what the band was playing. Little did I know, Sarah had asked them to play an acoustic version of “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen, which was the first song we danced to when we started dating in 2012. We still laugh about “Call Me Maybe” being our first dance — maybe one day it will be a classic!

From Sarah: I loved surprising Matt with our first dance song. Call Me Maybe always makes me think of our first few months of dating, when we would listen and dance to it nonstop. But my favorite surprise of the wedding was my parent’s participating in the Horah! It was SO funny to watch my very catholic mom get hoisted up in a chair – something she vowed she would never do (“too dangerous”). As they lifted her into the air she made the sign of the cross – which just made the whole thing funnier.

Most Sentimental/Touching Moment of the Wedding: (from Matt) Sarah was raised Catholic and I was raised Jewish, so we wanted a wedding service that would reflect who we are together and be inclusive of our families. I spent a lot of time writing our own wedding service with my cousins Monsignor Robert Harris of Brooklyn, New York and Rabbi Dan Levin of Boca Raton, Florida. We absolutely loved the sermons they gave, where Monsignor Bob talked about the theme of “harmony” from the Old Testament and Rabbi Dan talked about the theme of “love” from the New Testament. We felt a lot of love in the chapel and it really set the tone for the rest of the evening.

From Sarah: My dad is a big dude. Very manly and tough, but when he came into the room to see me in my dress for the first time he was basically a crying ball of mush. It was so sweet and touching to see how much he cares and loves my family in a moment like that.

Wedding Favors or any special décor details: I LOVED the customized wedding campaign pins that Blair designed. During the wedding, I was working on the Jeb 2016 campaign and had worked in republican fundraising for the past 3 years, while Matt is an Obama White House alumnae and works with Sec. Madeline Albright. Since our wedding was the day before the Iowa primaries and everyone who knows us, knows our political involvement, it was a really fun way to incorporate the election year, DC and politics in a fun and playful (read no political arguing!) way.

First Dance Song: Call Me Maybe – acoustic. A fun surprise to Matt. By the end, all of our guests were clapping and singing along.

Wedding Theme: My vision for the theme, was a black tie evening, that was still a cozy escape from the winter, like a warm fire and hot drink. I wanted it to feel a little old school in that way.

Four Words that Describe the Wedding: Champagne soaked dance party

Winter Wedding Dubbed by the Couple as a ‘Champagne-Soaked Dance Party’ published first on their blog to my feed

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samboine123 · 8 years ago

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Winter Wedding Dubbed by the Couple as a ‘Champagne-Soaked Dance Party’

Share this gorgeous gallery on

How long did you date before getting engaged: We dated from March 2012 to January 2015

First Dance Song: Call Me Maybe – acoustic. A fun surprise to Matt. By the end, all of our guests were clapping and singing along.

Wedding Theme: My vision for the theme, was a black tie evening, that was still a cozy escape from the winter, like a warm fire and hot drink. I wanted it to feel a little old school in that way.

Four Words that Describe the Wedding: Champagne soaked dance party

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darinb · 7 years ago

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Traditions- Slaying the Holy Cow

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Everyone loves tradition, including me, and including God. God set up many traditions in the Old Testament to remind people of what He had said and done, and Jesus instigated traditions like communion in His day.

Tradition is all around us. I remember laying a wreath at the Canberra war memorial in honour of my grandfather. They played the last post, we had careful instructions on how to walk, how to place the wreath. It was all very vivid and special to me, and the tradition made it all the more powerful and memorable.

Go to the RSL, support a football club or watch cricket… tradition is all around us and loved by most of us.

In cricket for example, we have just defeated the English in the Ashes series. We compete for a tiny cup within which lie the ashes. This came about after Australia’s first win in a test match in England at the Oval 1882, when a newspaper jokingly lamented the death of English cricket. The mock obituary stated that English cricket had died, and "the body will be cremated and the ashes taken to Australia". They burned the bails, put them in a tiny container, and that is what Aussie and English cricketers have competed over for more than 130 years!

So much tradition in sport, in parliament, law courts, schools, in families and especially in the Church! People love tradition, it brings them together, it feeds nostalgia. People talk about the good old days, do you remember them? I don’t think they were that good, but we always remember the good bits, not the bad.

Tradition is definitely a part of church life, but increasingly those who oppose God sometimes want the traditions, without the God.

Fiona’s brother and his wife just had something recently called a naming ceremony, which honestly is a baby dedication in every way without having God! Same sex marriage is the same. Gay couples had all the legal rights of union, but strangely they want to have an actual wedding and be called married. Why? Because people love traditions. Traditions bring stability, strength and honour.

HOLY COW!

Please do not misunderstand… I am not against tradition, I love it! Many of our traditions are good, and positive, but sometimes tradition grows in importance and actually eclipses what God says! We must make a clear distinction between what we do in the name of tradition and what we do in obedience to Christ.

Jesus met the issue of traditional religion head on in Mark 7, where a special delegation of legal experts came to challenge Jesus. They challenged Jesus because His disciples seemed to be breaking the time honoured rules of the Sabbath and ritual cleaning

Mark 7:5-9 (ESV Strong's)

And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?” And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,

“‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;

in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’

You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.”

And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition!

ELDER TRADITIONS

So what did these rules involve, and what effect did they have? Let me offer a few samples…

The Mishnah, a compilation of Jewish oral laws made at the end of the second century A.D., says, "Tradition is a fence around the law." Tradition, as the Jews saw it, protected God's Holy Word and assisted God’s people in keeping it.

This fencing of the Law probably began well enough, but as the years passed it produced some famous absurdities. For example, in an effort to protect the Sabbath from being broken through inadvertent labor, the devout were given an amazing list of prohibitions —fences. For example, looking in the mirror was forbidden, because if you looked into the mirror on the Sabbath day and saw a gray hair, you might be tempted to pull it out and thus perform work on the Sabbath.

You also could not wear your false teeth; if they fell out, you would have to pick them up and you would be working. In regard to carrying a burden, you could not carry a handkerchief on the Sabbath, but you could wear a handkerchief. That meant if you were upstairs and wanted to take the handkerchief downstairs, you would have to tie it around your neck, walk downstairs, and untie it. Then you could blow your nose downstairs!

The rabbis debated about a man with a wooden leg: if his home caught on fire, could he carry his wooden leg out of the house on the Sabbath? One could spit on the Sabbath, but you had to be careful where. If it landed on the dirt and you scuffed it with your sandal, you would be cultivating the soil and thus performing work.

For many in Jesus’ day, ritual replaced a relationship with God; reputation was more important than godliness. Jesus labeled these attitudes as hypocrisy. Our spiritual growth can succeed only if we are willing to have our hearts and outward actions changed according to God’s Word, not man’s bright ideas.

OUR TRADITIONS

I’ve often heard people in Pentecostal churches refer to another churches as “traditional”, but don’t be fooled, we Pentecostals are as traditional as they are, just in different ways. They have responsive readings, we pray in a certain way. We dunk, they sprinkle. We raise our hands, they do not… both are traditions.

Colossians 2:8 (ESV Strong's)

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

The Greek word for tradition is Paradosis, which is the same as used by Jesus with the Pharisees.

And while many traditions are comforting and can be helpful, some can also take us captive and steer us away from God! Traditions are fine, but they are hollow, devoid of any teal life. What sustains us in our hour of need is not traditions but the power of God, the Word of God and the Spirit of God! So we must be on guard!

TRADITION… THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

All around us, people are in churches where they feel obligated to stay but are slowly dying. Some have loads of ritual, but zero relationship. Some have lots liturgies but no life. Some provide entertainment but no encounter. Many older denominations are steeped in religious traditions that have nothing to do with God, and are impossible to find in His Word. And let’s face it, some of our modern churches have the same, just in a modern guise!

And this is the point… religious traditions can be good, bad or just plain ugly. How do we know the difference? How can we figure out and embrace good traditions and reject the bad? The only standard we can have is the Word of God.

But not everything is specifically addressed in the Bible. However, principles are in the Bible. The Bible does not say, “Thou must not take drugs,” but in many places it talks of self control in places like Galatians 5, which is clearly affected by drug taking. It doesn’t specifically mention smoking, cyberporn, cell phones or Facebook, rock music, styles of worship, etc. but clearly lays out behaviour that applies to these modern phenomenon.

It should be the same in Church. We can embrace traditions, sure, but only those that align with God’s Word. And some church traditions are clearly human in origin. Nowhere does it say that priests must be celibate, that’s a human tradition. Nowhere does it say you cannot eat meat on Friday. Nowhere does it say you have to sing certain songs or do certain rituals. Nowhere does it command us to make the sign of the cross, or use bells and smells when we worship. These human traditions were originally brought in by well meaning men for noble reasons, but let’s be clear, they are not God’s Word!

Titus 1:13-14 (ESV Strong's)

Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, not devoting themselves to Jewish myths and the commands of people who turn away from the truth.

The thing is man made traditions in religions were designed to remind us of God, but ultimately man made traditions do not set us free, they binds us, fences us in and controls us. Many times people choose religion instead of God, and however noble the intent of the religious tradition. I recently saw a program on notorious drug dealer Pablo Escobar, who murdered, extorted, exploited and fornicated his way through life, but still worshipped at a Catholic Church, went to confession and made the sign of the cross.

2 Corinthians 3:6 (ESV Strong's)

For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.

Religion and human tradition, as good as it might be, in the end kills rather than brings life if it is not based on the Word of God and directed by the Holy Spirit.

And Religious tradition often has a sinister spirit behind it, one of control and superiority. Let’s look at what Jesus said in Mark and pull back the curtain and see what is really behind not all but some man made traditions...

1. TRADITION AND FEELING SUPERIOR

Religion makes you feel pious, superior and better than the next person. We think we are the best, our denomination has it right and everybody else is wrong. God calls this pride!

The ritualistic washings the Jewish leaders talked about in Mark 7 gave them a sense of being “special”, and that other people were “unclean”! If a Jew went to the marketplace to buy food, he might be “defiled” by a Gentile or (God forbid!) a Samaritan. This tradition had begun centuries before to remind the Jews that they were God’s elect people and therefore had to keep themselves morally clean and separated. However, this good reminder had gradually degenerated into an empty ritual, a set of holier than Thou rules and the result was pride and religious isolation.

And listen, we can be just as superior. I cannot tell you how many good Pentecostal people have smugly told me that others are “not Spirit filled” as if they are inferior. Being filled with the Spirit of God is a joy and a blessing, it can be a powerhouse for your spiritual life, but it is not a higher rank than another believer. At Ignite Christian Church, we value unity and love for one another above any specific gift. That’s why when Paul talked about tongues and prophecy in 1 Corinthians 12 and 14, he placed the great love chapter right in the middle. Why? He said he wants us all to exercise the gifts, but we need to love one another more than we love the making others do what we want.

That being said, do I want us all to be filled with the Spirit? Absolutely! I want us all on fire for Christ, I desire to see every person ignited with a passion for Jesus that consumes them. But as your pastor, I’m not here to be superior, and I refuse to force you to do something that you are not comfortable with.. I am here to serve!

Luke 18:10-14 (ESV Strong's)

“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Religion makes us feel superior, but Jesus calls us to be servants.

2. TRADITION AND MANIPULATION

Mark 7:9-13 (ESV Strong's)

And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”’ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”

The situation is that the fifth commandment of the law stating you should honour and care for your parents in their age. These religious leaders saw a loophole that trumped caring for your ailing parents. If you “dedicated” your money to God, you could hang onto it and not give towards your parents care.

Tradition manipulates the situation, in much the same way as Jehovah’s Witnesses use religious tradition and control in teaching their people that they have to witness door to door to get to heaven… they have no assurance of salvation like we do, but the sect gets an endless stream of workers going door to door!

I have seen pastors in our churches using religious tradition to manipulate and control people, to force them to do what the leader wants. This is not leadership, this is abuse, and Jesus got real mad about this kind of religious abuse! Again, traditions are great but they must not be a tool for control or superiority.

WHEN TRADITION CROSSES THE LINE

Anything we establish that is not according to God’s Word is going to become destructive and controlling. And you can see this in many denominations today, some of which started great and have dropped away to become a shell.

Every move of God comes in 4 stages. A man, a movement, a machine and a monument.

It starts with a man, a dynamic man who has a dynamic, God given vision. Look at John Wesley and Methodism, William Booth and the Salvation Army. Look at Amy Semple McPherson and the Four Square movement. Great men and woman, great power, and great anointing.

This then gives rise to a movement, and the denomination gains influence and grows in numbers. But after some time, maybe a generation or two, people are just going through the motions. It becomes a machine, still big and influential, but it’s lost its edge, it’s lost its Holy Spirit power. It’s lost its specific calling and anointing.

It finishes up a monument to past glories. Man, movement, machine, monument. Where are we?

In our Bible reading this week in Mark 11, Jesus cursed the fig tree which was in bloom. Why? Is it because he doesn’t like figs? No, it was a comment in the Pharisees and the religious traditions of the day. He was saying, “you look the part, you look and act religious, but there is no fruit!” Let this be a warning to us. It is not our religion, not our tradition, not our gifts or Bible scholarship that impresses Christ. It is the fruit of the Spirit that He is looking for.

IGNITING TRADITIONS

Told you I would slay a few holy cows this morning!

Many of you here have come from different churches with different traditions, and I love that you’ve found a home here. Many have only ever know Pentecostalism, and I love that you have accepted and embraced those who think slightly differently to you.

We face a choice this morning, and interestingly this is the same choice that the people of Israel faced Millenia ago…

Exodus 20:18-21 (ESV Strong's)

Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was.

The people had a unique opportunity, to establish an intimate and special relationship with God, one where He would talk directly to them. But they were afraid, they feared God and were fearful of what He might ask them to do. So they told Moses to go and talk to God for them, then relay the message to them, while they stood afar off, distant from God.

I think we can all agree that human tradition is no substitute for the Word of God, right?

RELIGION OR RELATIONSHIP… YOUR CHOICE

But today, I believe that God is asking us to choose Him, and take a chance on a God who loves you. Let us never choose anything, any belief, any tradition over a close relationship with the Lord. I love most of our traditions, but I refuse to let whether you speak in tongues or not, whether you prophesy or not, whether you like hymns or like popular songs, whether you’ve been baptised in water or baptised in the Spirit, I refuse to let that stand between us!

Unity is where the Lord bestows blessing, and God has called Ignite to be a church of unity! We must be one in the Spirit, and while we may not see eye to eye, we can still walk hand in hand and arm in arm.

2 Timothy 2:23-24 (ESV Strong's)

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,

Church, we stand on the brink of something Mighty here at Ignite. God is unrolling, unfurling a vision before me that is the most exciting I have ever been a part of. And you are a part of it too! So let us agree to set aside the things that separate, even if you think you are right, and let us agree to love first and foremost. Let us agree that our standard is simply the Bible. If it’s in here, it’s in. If it’s not, it’s not!

But ultimately we face the same decision the people of Israel faced… rules or relationship. This is why I continue to remind you of the Bible reading plan. I’m not trying to control you, but if you read this every day, just 2 chapters a day, then you will grow your relationship. If not this plan, do another, but will you covenant with me to endeavour to read His Word and pray every day? Tun off Facebook, click the TV off and read or listen to 2 chapters a day. Then you will discover life abundantly, a greater life in God than you have ever experienced, and all the things you need will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33 (ESV Strong's)

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

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