#And again I cannot understate this: I do not care if you like a ship I don't

[rosenlied]

Going to put some tier lists and sorters here so you know what to expect from me.

Some more stuff:

My pronouns are she/her and I'm a lesbian

In addition to being a lesbian I'm also ace.

I am very anti bigotry (transphobia, homophobia, racism ETC)

Proshippers DNI

I only really use this account for art

I am open to doing art requests as long as it's not for a ship I dislike

My ids:

Sekai: 162306117840482308

D4DJ: CTddBTHt

Bandori: 5494710

FEH: 0392452681

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 10

wait, Gabby actually said "baddie"? i thought she said "buddy." Ellie is a bad bitch send tweet

given everything that happened in this episode, i honestly forgot this happened. i'm sure it'll come back to be important at some point, though. putting this here to try to help keep it in my mind.

Gabby and Ellie are literally the cutest, my goodness. i thought their ship was okay in S1 (i didn't really understand why Ellie would like Gabby, and to some extent i still don't), but DCAS has made me love them. they just care about and revere each other so much........

god, he's literally the worst (/hj /pos)

does Yul actually care about/need the money? i thought he was only on the show for the publicity. i want to know the Yul lore so bad...

what does Gabby think this alliance is meant to accomplish, exactly...? actually, i take back my confusion. Yul literally tried to poison Aiden in S2. there's a precedent for her believing that the alliance would commit actual crimes.

i cannot believe that Yul canonically knows what Tumblr is. hi Yul

this made me cackle. i'm glad every time that Aiden gets to be more sassy and hotheaded again, especially when it's behind someone's back like this. that rashness is what prevents him from being the super vanilla character that people like to make fun of him for being, and what causes him to do interesting things in the narrative.

honestly, this was way more understated than i expected. and, possibly than it should've been...? like, Jake. Tom literally lied to you just to avoid you. this is actually (in my opinion) something you could be justifiably pissed about.

HE'S SO PANICKED AT THE THOUGHT OF BEING EJECTED FROM THE GAME. HE CARES A LOT ABOUT PLAYING. I WANT TO KNOW THE YUL LORE SO BADDDDDDD

this can't actually be the end of Emily's character, right? right?

i'm glad this scene exists because it makes way more sense that there would still be some hostility between these two after the events of S1. they need time to cook before they can become besties for real :)

Gabby, respecter of girlfriends everywhere

honestly, i thought that she was going to straight up shoot Yul (with paint) after this. it would've been deserved.

...RIGHT???

...how? other than figure, those two look pretty much nothing alike. also, hilarious unforced error given the result of this episode. imagine if this slip up winds up essentially costing Tom the win.

is it just me, or was there more swearing than normal this episode? not super important, but it was noticeable.

this is a really valid argument. why did this count? whatever.

KING!!!!!!! see, i was right to bring up how Alec is great at challenges.

he's an Fi lead (MBTI reference)

KING PART 2!!!!!!!! i love Alec

again, i like seeing this side of Aiden. while i wouldn't say he's as petty as Jake, he's still petty enough to continue the feud instead of trying to be the bigger person. he's got depth!

ABSOLUTELY the best strategic move for the villains. i'm very happy with this elimination, although, i was never a huge Ashley fan. my heart goes out to those who are.

not only that, but the disventure is over too.

Jake is truly going to be 100% alone in this game, now, and entirely due to his own doings. very excited to see how he proceeds from here.

this is a winner's cut moment, ngl.

what did the writers mean by this

aaaaand, that's the episode! i enjoyed this one. it reminded me of the good ol' S1 days, where i got to watch Fiore and Alec absolutely trample all of the heroes with their superior strategy. (i stan the villains, if that wasn't obvious by this point.) i'm well aware that those days can't last forever, but that just makes me even more inclined to revel in them while they're still here.

i do still hope that one of Jake, Tom, and Aiden gets eliminated soon, though. this episode specifically i don't think was an instance of plot armor-- like i said, i think Ashley was by far the most sensible boot given the situation-- but the longer all three of them stay in, the more it does feel like the writers playing favorites than how the game would genuinely shake out.

i'm quite curious as to what the next trailer will show us. are we headed towards another hero boot, or will the villains start beefing already? will the inevitable trevek conversation happen next episode? and is Emily really gone???? i hope not :,( see you next week!

[acephysicskarkat]

Hello, saw some of your anti c//a that mention how you think c//a is a bad enemies-to-lovers ship while griddlehark is a good one, and may i ask how that is? Genuine question, because i don���t like c//a, and i’m neutral on griddlehark (mainly because I don’t know much atm), from what i’ve seen/heard, it seems like it’s a lot more toxic of a dynamic than c//a is initially/pre canon? Again not trying to bait, am gen curious /genuine

This is going to be kind of disjointed, and I apologise, but this is kind of a topic that defies a simple summary.

Bear in mind that ahead be big Locked Tomb spoilers and the SP0P spoilers that basically everyone already knows.

I would say that the two critical differences are 1) the handling of the toxicity within the narrative, and 2) the structure and arrangement of the toxicity.

You are absolutely correct that pre-canon Griddlehark's mutual hatred is a toxic dynamic. They initially detest each other with a passion; one of the main plot points driving the entire series is a young Harrow having Gideon's blood under her nails after a fight.

As Gideon and Harrowhark work together, however - and here is the point where 100% of bad enemies-to-lovers arcs crash and burn - the toxicity goes down. It never becomes totally healthy - indeed, post-GtN Harrow invents an entirely new way to have an unhealthy relationship, involving performing brain surgery on herself at 17 - but the majority of the narrative is spent showing them moving from "would piss on the other's grave given the chance" to a mutually tolerated working relationship, to a growing loyalty, to the pool scene where Harrow shows Gideon more honesty and trust than she's had from anyone in her life. A lot of what makes this work is pacing and structure; every new step works because it's building on the previous ones, none of them feeling jarringly fast or unmotivated.

More than that, a big help is that the toxicity feels intentional. The relationship being Kinda Fucked is a 100% intentional thing that I'm pretty sure I've seen Tamsyn Muir talking about in interviews. It's a narrative element that Muir is monitoring and adjusting with the care of a good zookeeper trying to keep the humidity in the reptile enclosure exactly right.

(I genuinely cannot praise the writing in these books enough.)

Turning to SP0P as a contrast, its relationship has a more understated toxicity, but a much more pervasive one. Young Adora and C*tra weren't clawing at each other's faces whenever left unsupervised, but young C*tra sure did claw at Adora's face for wanting to have more than one friend! It's not the PVP arena of Growing Up Griddlehark, but "you are my friend, therefore your needs are subordinate to mine" is still far from a healthy dynamic, and the narrative never addresses it.

The bigger problem, though, is that the toxicity doesn't so much "go down" as trace out a parabola. The entire first half of the narrative shows the toxicity going up sharply, to the point of C*tra being willing to die just to make Adora miserable, then it hovers there for another quarter, and then it returns to an earlier level of toxicity. S5 C*tra's treatment of Adora stays awful. She spends "Taking Control" throwing a tantrum over how the real problem is Adora and the others being mad at her; she portrays herself as the wounded party in her like four separate murder attempts on Adora in "An Ill Wind" to produce the worst line of the show; she continues throwing tantrums whenever she doesn't get what she wants and making everything about herself right up to the love confession, including that confession ("stay with me, the person who spent four seasons refusing to stay with you!"). It feels bizarre that Adora goes from "even if you're my best friend, I won't let you blame me for shit that isn't my fault" in S4 to doing nothing but looking sad when C*tra portrays her as being in the wrong for not just meekly standing by while C*tra burned down her home and murdered her friends.

And - and I'll acknowledge that a big part of this is probably executive fuckery, I just don't think that really matters - the pacing and structure absolutely are not helping. I could buy S5's sudden reversal if C*tra and Adora had had a fun, weightless enmity where there was an obvious respect between them. They don't. C*tra spends a truly distressing amount of time utterly consumed by the desire to cause Adora as much pain as possible, to the point of attempting a murder-suicide on the entire world. No point in S2-S4 shows a C*tra who Can't Bring Herself to Really Hurt Adora, regardless of the things the stans have convinced themselves they saw; she's so totally driven by spite that she tears her own life to shreds in the hope Adora will be caught up in the edges. The relationship has to do a sudden R*ylo swerve rather than building on what's gone before because "what's gone before" is like three plot points in the first season that have been narratively overwhelmed by C*tra's multiseason campaign of cruelty like a single pea being weighed against the USS Nimitz.

This is where intentionality comes into play. The toxicity in c/a is just there. For all the bullshit about C*tra's story being about what happens when you're the toxic friend, it doesn't feel like an intentional narrative element that is seriously being examined; it feels like a writing fuck-up where C*tra was supposed to feel like way less of a stalker asshole.

Anyway, I hope this has made some vague semblance of sense, but I've been at this for like an hour and I'm tired and I need to go check on a craft project.

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 13

Now we see Kaz’s thoughts after Inej almost dies during the ambush.

_

Chapter 13: Kaz

“The pain in Kaz’s leg was terrible, the worst it had been since he’d first broken it falling off the roof of a bank near the Geldstraat. It was possible he’d fractured the bone again. Inej’s weight wasn’t helping, but when Jesper stepped into his path to offer help, Kaz shoved past him.

“Where’s Nina?” Kaz snarled.

“Seeing to the wounded below. She already took care of me.” Dimly Kaz registered the dried blood on Jesper ’s thigh. “Wylan got dinged during the fight. Let me help you—”

“Get out of my way,” Kaz said, and plunged past him down the ramp that led belowdecks.”

First off, he’s carrying Inej on a “possibly” broken leg and still refuses to let her go, even when Jesper offers. I know it’s such a small thing here but really, his commitment to her is unmatched!

Also, you guys, I’ve been reading this fic that’s a blend of SoC / Hunger Games and it is so well written. I seriously recomment you guys to go take a look. it’s included in my “Fic Rec List #5″ under the fics written by @endoftheworldhere. The name’s “One for Sorrow” and I seriously recommend it. It then expands into the HG experiences of the rest of the Crows (Jesper, Wylan, Inej), so you should definitely check them out!

“The cramped cabin was lit by several bright lanterns and a stash of clean bandages had been laid out on a shelf beside a bottle of camphor. Gently, Kaz placed Inej on the table that had been bolted to the deck.

[...]

He was alive because of Inej. They all were. They’d managed to fight their way out of a corner, but only because she’d prevented them from being surrounded. Kaz knew death. He could feel its presence on the ship now, looming over them, ready to take his Wraith. He was covered in her blood.

“Unless you can be useful, go away,” Nina said without looking up at him. “You’re making me nervous.” He hesitated, then stomped back the way he’d come, stopping to purloin a clean shirt from another cabin. He shouldn’t be this shaken up by a dock brawl, even a shoot-out, but he was.

Something inside him felt frayed and raw. It was the same feeling he’d had as a boy, in those first desperate days after Jordie’s death.”

He really is at his gentlest with her. Of course, when Inej is awake he can be crass / rude and harsh, but now, with her at death’s door, none of that really matters. Again, it is not justifiable, but understable how angry he gets with Jesper later on, for all they went through because he talked when he shouldn’t have. 

On another note, the fact that this feeling of unsettling helplessness he had when Jordie die comes back when Inej’s about to die just goes to show how much he loves her and values her, and how lost and alone he’d be without her. 

“What the hell just happened?” Jesper asked. He was leaning against the railing, his rifle beside him. hair dishevelled, pupils dilated. He seemed almost drunk, or like he’d just rolled out of someone’s bed. He always had that look after a fight. Helvar was bent over the railing, vomiting. Not a sailor, apparently. At some point they’d need to shackle his legs again.”

We never got to see Jesper on the show with a rifle, so it’d be really cool to see him with one on the spin off. 

In addition, didn’t Matthias already travel by ship by this point (in flashbacks, when she met Nina)? Do people get motion sickness everytime they board a boat or is that sometimes that passes over time? Should it still be happening? It just seems very funny to me how this tall, big, intimidating Fjerdan soldier cannot seem to hold it in and vomits over the railing. 

“Stand him up.”

With one huge hand, Helvar hauled Oomen to his feet.”

It’s a bit funny to me how even though Matthias doesn’t feel like a Crow yet (and pretty much hates Kaz at this point), he still follows his orders.

“Kaz heard Wylan retching. He tossed the eyeball overboard and jammed his spit-soaked handkerchief into the socket where Oomen’s eye had been. Then he grabbed Oomen’s jaw, his gloves leaving red smears on the enforcer ’s chin. His actions were smooth, precise, as if he were dealing cards at the Crow Club or picking an easy lock, but his rage felt hot and mad and unfamiliar.

Something within him had torn loose.”

First of all, it’s petty but oh-so-Kaz to stash the spit-soaked handkerchief in his eyeball. Kind of like “you made this bed, now go lie in it”.

Second of all, DAAAAMN! He’s doing all this horrific things with such calmness and precision, as if it were no big deal even though he just gouged out an eye? As he says, something within him had torn loose. Inej’s almost death is provoking all this unsettling, unexpected, raw feelings. When he was a boy he couldn’t do anything about it (he was still Kaz Rietveld) but now, with a reputation behind him and skills he didn’t have then...he’s gonna be gouging out some eyes if people so much as look at his girl wrong!

“I need a medik. Can you take me to a medik now?”

“Of course,” said Kaz. “Right this way.” He took Oomen by the lapels and hoisted him off his feet, bracing his body against the railing.

“I told you what you wanted!” Oomen screamed, struggling. “I did what you asked!”

Despite Oomen’s knobby build, he was deceptively strong – farm strong like Jesper. He’d probably grown up in the fields.”

Kaz might not be the tallest in the group but he’s certainly strong, alright. Lifting a person described as “farm strong like Jesper” with just his arms and no one else to help him? Maybe I’m too weak, but I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

“Wylan took a deep breath as if sucking in courage and sputtered, “You won’t throw me overboard. You need me.”

Why do people keep saying that? “Maybe,” said Kaz. “But I’m not in a very rational mood.”

Well, he’s right, definitely. Something came loose (like a screw) the moment he saw Inej almost dying in his arms. 

“Since when am I your valet?”

“Man with a knife, remember?” he said over his shoulder.

“Man with a gun!” Jesper called after him.

Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks. He wanted a hot bath and a bottle of brandy, but he’d settle for being alone and free of the stink of blood for a while.”

I cannot wait to see this exchange in the spin off. I can almost hear Freddy and Kit saying this already!

That’s it for chapter 13. Next up, we witness Nina’s efforts to save Inej!

Also, they really are just teenagers settling their differences by flipping fingers. 

Lastly, why does Kaz have to be the one to ask Jesper for stuff? I mean, he's the mastermind of the Crows, mostly, but does that entitle him to boss everyone around? 🤔

[helloitsmadamehyde]

assuming you actually wanted to open a dialogue--sure, I'm happy to explain why I like Khârn × Lotara Sarrin as a ship.

Spoilers for Betrayer and ARWWB ahoy!

To begin with, we have to acknowledge that anything remotely romantic in Warhammer is understated. Caiphus Cain and Ibram Gaunt both have actual sex in their books, and it's always fade to black, an aside, or "M" rather than "E", to use A03's terms. The mechanicus couple in Know No Fear barely acknowledge they're a couple. There are a lot of ways of reading many of the characters and their relationships.

So, starting with that understanding:

Khârn and Lotara are actually described as friends in both Betrayer and A Rose Watered With Blood. In fact, in the latter, she outright says he's her closest companion:

Not friend, mind--companion. The implication is that they're close, like a matched set, and that, first and foremost, she thinks of him as a man.

Khârn is also the one who gave her the Blood Hand, which we learn in Betrayer from the Dreadnaught Lhorke:

Khârn and Lotara's first interaction in Betrayer is fun and banter-heavy, and establishes their familiarity and mutual competence. She can tell from a single word that he's smiling as he speaks, and is outright teasing him. In return, he's teasing her back, and the conversation stays on his mind later.

One does not tease a World Eater lightly, so clearly this is a rapport they've built.

Further, she clearly trusts Khârn's judgement and analysis, as evidenced by the end of the famous "you are always brave when I am several thousand kilometers away" conversation Lotara has with Angron:

The phrasing "Khârn's right about the Primarch" implies:

That they've talked about this before,

That it's an ongoing problem (Khârn IS right, not WAS right),

That this problem is one they're hoping to solve together.

(Obligatory: dammit, Lorgar.)

She also counts on Khârn for answers that other legions might deem over the heads of their human crew, and he's honest with himself when he can and cannot give them.

But he has nothing he can tell her, here, that will ease her mind and put her doubts to rest. So he doesn't try.

Ow, says the Grimdark 31st millennium.

In return, Khârn trusts Lotara's judgement and analysis as well. On the planet Armatura below, he has the same thought she did (one might even say it's a companion thought), and waves away the insults to her captaincy:

The writing in Warhammer isn't particularly emotionally-forward, but the way Khârn and Lotara think of each other speaks to familiarity and care. They trust one another to get their shit done, and get it done right. That's about as close as space marines get to people, in canon.

I agree that Lotara has good chemistry with tons of folks--there's a reason she's a captain, and a fan fave. She plays cards with Lhorke later in Betrayer, and here she is musing on Tobin (who you bring up) in ARWWB:

That's where the blood stimulant bit comes in, which isn't romantic in and of itself, but, like much the whole "Night Lords tattoo their serfs with their own blood" business, it has some fun ficcy implications. (Khârn wouldn't have the knowledge to do that, which means it's probably Kargos doing the synthesis, which means he would need a reason to tell Kargos to do it...)

And sure, you could argue it's b/c Khârn cares about Lotara as his captain but, again, anything romantic is understated in Warhammer. It's not said that everyone is running on this drug, just Lotara. And it's not said that the legion is doing this--just Khârn. (Thus, the plot bunnies I had.)

It's also established that Lotara is exhausted and not exactly in the best emotional state in ARWWB. And despite this (or perhaps because of it), some of her first thoughts when she's worried Skane will kill her are of Khârn. Whom she obviously trusts to have her back:

She describes the thought re: Khârn as both "eternal" and "vile." Eternal, in that she would always have this thought/it's perennial, and vile, in that she is disgusted that she has it. Khârn would be turning against his own legion brother to help her, here, and with 'vile,' it's clear that Lotara hates needing him to. Particularly since Skane is one of the ones who intervenes when she famously shoots Delvarus in the face in Betrayer. Presumably, she was something like friends with Skane, once.

And if you want to get *reeeealllly* gritty, these two snippets are back to back in ARWWB (it's just a page break on my kindle):

In pointing out that Tobin was dead in her bed, the leap to "oh, were they sleeping together?" isn't far. But then the narrative outright refutes that, and, in the paragraph before, has Khârn killing someone the reader thinks of as a possible rival. Like I said, understated AF, but right there if you want to look for it.

Back to Betrayer, we see time and again that although Lotara isn't literally a World Eater, she has the same mentality. "No one runs from the Conqueror." is her constant battle cry.

Tobin's POV drives home that Lotara is a favorite among the legionnaires. She compliments their enemy's shooting, and is laughing in the middle of void combat. That's about as WE as it gets before you get the Nails involved.

Thus, the teasing of Khârn and Angron, the famous bit about Angron kicking remembrancers off the ship because they annoyed Lotara, and her general rapport with Khârn and his squad (who are willing to back her up when she later, famously, shoots Delvarus in the face) begin to make sense.

We also see here her general camaraderie with her bridge crew--Kejic and Tobin, as well as Scrymistress Lethralla (whom you bring up) a page earlier. Lotara is charismatic, intelligent ("Void war is a thinker's war"), and deserving of her role as flag-captain.

The moment that sold me on them as ship, though, was towards the end of Betrayer. We've seen their camaraderie and mutual respect at this point, and so when we get to the part I highlighted here, it stands out starkly:

The text takes pains to point out *twice* that everyone on the vox network can hear them. The reader can then infer that both of them would have said something very different on a private channel. Something, perhaps, more like:

Lotara: You're all going to die if you stay down there. Abandon Angron's lunacy for a minute and get back to the Conquorer. Khârn: I hear you, but... Khârn: You know all of the Angron-shaped reasons why we can't actually do that. Can you make it so I survive this? Lotara, sighing in exasperation: Khârn, I swear to the Emperor... I care about you, but you're being an idiot. Lotara, a few seconds later: Here's how to MAYBE not die in the meantime. Khârn: you're the best <3

They're both locked into combat mode, they know their Legion well enough to know the reasonable solution is, in fact, unreasonable, so here's the best they can do with what they've got.

Overall I enjoy that they're well-matched and clearly the respect is mutual. Because humans, obviously, lose the basic power dynamic when up against a space marine (it is, after all, the literal point of the Astartes). It's particularly uncommon for women in this setting to feel on par with a space marine as well, so as a woman reading these books, it's just really nice to see that the legion loves Lotara. She's a bloodthirsty murderer just like the boys--and we love this for her.

Ship-wise, I'm also a sucker for Khârn's chronic pain and how he'd have to fight the Nails constantly to be able to get to a relationship level, and I also enjoy "big man brought low by tiny woman"-- a space marine would be down so bad if he actually got to the point that he realized it. And Khârn, as evidenced by the whole "Get up" scene and his relationships with Argel Tal and Angron, is capable of Big Feels, even if he doesn't necessarily know what those are.

So Betrayer sold me on them and ARWWB was just a painful secondary stab while the Conquorer is falling to bits. I know Lotara shows up a few more times, but I haven't gotten to the Siege of Terra yet, so y'know. I may find more there, too.

Ultimately, ship what you like, but that's why I enjoy them.

So I was reading A Rose Watered With Blood yesterday while my brothers insisted on watching football, and uh

my kharn/lotara shipping heart was not ready

(also Skane, bb. half the tragedy of this short story is that I met and loved all y'all in Betrayer and this... this is not those people anymore)

and THIS excerpt is giving me ideas 👀👀

she's functioning on his BLOOD??? c'mon now, you can't hand us that tidbit in this fandom and expect us to be normal about it. there are SO MANY interesting implications

Much to consider

[nimedhel09]

Other Fairy Tail headcanons noone asked for

Yes, I have more. Again, be prepared for the longest post, but also for probably some Frenchisms and inaccurate English.

- Human-hating-and-eating dragons existed long before the war, but they were few, as human meat wasn't that good for most draconic tastebuds... Most of the dragons preferred to just ignore humans, as they were seen as lesser beings by a big part of the dragon population.

- Dragonof and Montes Secreta are a rare show of dragon-human symbiosis. The dragons protect the territory from invading forces, be they human, dragon or otherwise, and the humans take care of the dragons and feed them.

- Dragons and dragon slayers hoard. What exactly depends on each individual's interests.

-> Natsu likes to hoard stuff that makes him think of his friends... or that belonged to his friends before he hoarded them.

-> Gajeel hoards metal (because food), comfy stuff (mostly cushions, pillows and sheets) and he began hoarding books when he began to form a friendship with Levy.

-> Erza, of course, hoards her armor and weapons. She has a very difficult time parting from any of her belongings, which is why she always over-prepares for quests. The slayers and herself realize the origin of her "problem" when her parentage is discovered.

-> Rogue collects frog stuff. He had a passion for frogs as a child (seems like a headcanon I share with @pencilofawesomeness hehe) that never really went away. So each time he goes on a quest and sees anything ressembling a frog? He buys it. Frosch has many maaaaany frog onesies, in all the colours imaginable, as they also share Rogue's love for frogs, but her favourite is the pink one (yes, in my head, Frosch is a girl).

-> Sting hoards jewellry and gems. He loves the colours and the sparkliness.

-> Laxus collects music. He does not realize he hoards it until he hears the other slayers talking about their hoards and realizes he has a lot of vinyls in his house.

-> Erik/Cobra hoards miscellaneous stuff that catches his eye for longer than 5 seconds. Usually, it's small and he got in the habit of hiding everything in places he marks to find later, since he never had the stability of having a nest/cave/territory that belongs to him until after he was pardonned with the rest of Crime Sorcière.

-> Wendy hoards tea sets. She loves them, she loves to look at them, and each time she can find one that calls to her, she'll buy it and add it to her hoard. She also has a special tea set for visitors. It is the only tea set that people other than her and Charle/Carla can use or touch. Noone outside of the slayers, exceeds and Levy know that.

- The god and demon slayers also have biological modifications to get closer to the creatures they have the ability to "slay". Gray has little horns that his hair hides, he has night vision, which makes his eyes reflective in the dark (something that has freaked out a few guild members and people he had to fight against) and his teeth are very SHARP, although they're smaller than dragon slayer fangs and narrower.

- Juvia has had a very stern talking to by Cana, Mira and Erza about her harassing of Gray. Gajeel was not happy to see her so despondent afterwards, but when she explained what happened, he gently told her that it was something she needed to hear, because her behaviour was not OK. She still struggles with obsessive behaviour, low self-esteem and anxiety, but she gets help from Mest.

- Gray and Juvia have a talk when Juvia realizes that she does not want to be that person, and they finally get to have a healthy friendship. No romance, though, as Juvia finally grows out of her unhealthy obsession with Gray and realizes that's not what love is supposed to be.

- As a coping mechanism for... everything, Juvia bakes. A LOT. And she offers her confections to everyone in the guild. You know she is having a bad time if she brings a lot of pastries, and if it lasts for more than a day, it's very bad. Mira and Gajeel have developed a system without meaning to when that happens. Mira works on getting Juvia to cheer up and Gajeel gets her to open up to him.

- Mest never turned Brandish against August. Nuh-uh. No sir, he definitely did NOT. Also no pedophilic thoughts about Wendy. He finds her warm and adorable and he loves her as a little sister, thank you very much. He was also head over heels about Lahar and it took years to get over his death. He is understandably very weary of falling in love. He also develops a crush for Macbeth/Midnight after Crime Sorcière was legalized and the members came to mingle with Fairy Tail more often.

- Most of the members of the younger generation, at least, are not heterosexual (because sexuality is a freaking continuum, people). I might expand on this at a later date if anyone is interested.

- Jellal and Erza have a very serious talk and both work on their Tower induced trauma for years before they decide they might want to try a romantic relationship. Jellal is the one that has the most difficulty healing from the past and seeing Erza as a person instead of his saviour/deliverance/light and stops putting her on a pedestal.

- Erik talks to Kinana about Cubellios and how he thinks she might be his lifelong friend. Since Kinana has bad amnesia, she asks Mest to help her retrieve her memories, and, although everything is still quite hazy, she remembers her attachment to Erik. They slowly work through her memories, but Erik is very respectful and does not push Kinana into anything, he just wants to know her, and, maybe, if that could happen, his friend back. They end up slowly falling in love.

- Juvia is like a little sister to Gajeel. He is very protective of her, and she is the only reason he joined Fairy Tail. They stay close through the years, and Juvia ends up being the godmother of Gajeel's and Levy's children. Juvia is understably over the moon and spoils the heck out of her nephew and niece.

- The original appearance of most of the Celestial spirits is quite different than what it is nowadays. Leo/Loke's original appearance is closer to his Eclipse Celestial Spirits ark than his current one. He is a fighting spirit, after all.

- As there are 88 (accepted) constellations in the sky, there are 88 keys. The silver and gold ones are the most known, but there is another set: the platinum keys. Those keys are as powerful as the gold keys, but not much is known about them.

- Since opening a key gate demands so much magic power, celestial wizards have slowly decreased in numbers. Celestial magic is coming closer to becoming a lost magic every year. It does not help that Celestial wizards are so often used by dark guilds as sacrifices for dark intents.

- Many civilians think that, because there are "light" guilds and "dark" guilds, some magic powers are considered dark and light too. Which, in turn, makes them afraid of any kinds of magic that is not in the accepted definitions of "light". That's one of the reasons why Freed, Mirajane and Bickslow hated their born magic for so long. It took them years or even decades to stop the self-hate, with the help of their friends and family.

- Since the awakening of his etherious nature, Natsu has been terrified of losing control. Which made him train harder and subtly distance himself from the guild. Of course, the other slayers, Erza, Gray and Lisanna saw right through him and Lisanna confronted him about it and he spilled the beans.

- NaLi is a thing. They're very cute together. Natsu is not interested by sex (yep, he's asexual), but he loves the proximity with Lisanna so sometimes they do have sexy time, but not often at all.

- Mira is a big gossip, and she does the shipping thing, and she does try to imagine ship-kids, but when someone tells her they're uncomfortable/they don't want kids or she sees that she makes them so, she stops and apologizes and never does it again. Because Mirajane is a respectful friend that does not push her friends and family to follow patriarcal societal rules, thank you very much.

- Gray inherited his devil slayer magic genetically. So he was born with it. But it was dormant or sealed until Silver awakened it (it makes more sense that way, in my mind).

- Fairies did exist, but they are extinct in Earthland. They do still survive in another dimension with other elf-like beings (because I said so and because I like the idea of a Sidh in-universe, because travelling to parallel universes is a thing, so there!)

- Talking about that, there's a difference between parallel universes (Edolas) and dimensions (the place where Angel's "angels" dwell). A parallel universe is a different kind of world on the same "wavelength" as the one Fairy Tail exists, and a different dimension is in the same universe, BUT on a different level (you know, the 2D, 3D and so on, and so forth). But because I do not want to go full-on-nerd-mode-that-will-never-stop-talking-about-the-thing, I'll stop here.

- Minerva and Rogue are a couple and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- Talking about the saberkitties, that guild desperately needed to heal after Jiemma. It took them a lot of work to get to a level where everyone began to trust in their guildmates and the guild itself. Minerva is the one that had the hardest time, as she was the daughter of the abusive jerk and his favoured and longest victim.

- She also had the hardest time after Tartaros, because it took months for her to have a human body again. Sting, Rogue, Orga and Rufus were there every step of the way for her. She loves them with all her shriveled little dark heart.

- She stays a badass with some violent and cruel tendencies, but she's mostly awkward, nowadays. She feels most comfortable with Rufus and Rogue because they're calm and quiet. She also adore Frosch.

- It took Yukino months to decide that she might possibly want to rejoin a guild. She goes to Sabertooth to confront her bad treatment and the trauma from her excommunication and has the longest talk with Sting, although she sees that he's far from his cocky, rambunctious, confident self (because Tartaros + losing his dad + Minvera stuff going on). They have a heart to heart and Sting apologizes profusely about how he acted until the Eclipse gate thing. She accepts his apology, but still hesitates to rejoing the guild. Noone pushes her, but Sting asks her to at least stay around for a few days so that the other guild members can see her. She does, and gets apologies from everyone. However, she does not see Minerva, and since she was one of the biggest offenders when it came to bullying in the guild, she really wanted to confront her, but the situation is explained to her. Yukino rejoins the guild after a few weeks of hard thinking, and patiently waits for her very needed conversation with Minerva, although she does not push for it when she knows that things must definitely not be easy for the spatial mage.

- Orga is half Fioran and half Encan. That's why he weats the clothes he does, and has the tatoos. The facial paint he has during the GMG is because of a warrior tradition from Enca. He goes to visit his maternal family at least once a year. Although noone outside of his friend circle (which was noone during Jiemma's tenure) knows of that tidbit about his background.

- Freed, Rufus and Lucy are all from high society, but they never mingled or even talked. Freed's father was very strict and rarely allowed him to go to parties because he was never good enough, and then when his magic realized itself, he was too ashamed of the creature that was his son to even consider it. Rufus, on the other hand, was too young, but he saw Lucy from afar. He just never talked to her. Freed only knew of Lucy's name, but Lucy wasn't aware of him at all, because she would do anything to not do a good impression.

- Talking about Lucy, she is very sensitive to any kinds of comments about her physical appearance due to a childhood with the pressure of having to look like a perfect breedable doll, due to her father's expectations and just high society. Because she was seen more as an asset than a human being. And even though she rebelled about all the expectations, she internalized them still. She still struggles about it.

- Another thing she struggles with is: independance and freedom. Two things she never really had until she decided to flee her home. That's one of the reasons she kind of lets Natsu drag her on adventures too, because making decisions for her life and having the responsibility of her own destiny freaks her out and gives her major anxiety. She even had panick attacks about those.

- Lisanna had a very hard time getting used to Edolas, but also getting used to being back to Earthland. Her siblings and close friends (aka Natsu and Happy)? Even more so. Lots of angst and not believing it to be true and stuff. Also, she had quite a bit of difficulty reconnecting her Earthland friendships. She tended to see the guild as their Edolas versions for a while. But now everything's fine.

- The Raijinshuu bonded over their eye magic and their respect for Laxus, because he was the one to help them and make them join the guild.

- Laxus, under his not-approachable, cocky veneer, is just a very awkward sweetheart that has no idea how to interact with humans outside his three friends. He exudes big introvert energy and you cannot tell me otherwise.

- After the war, Laxus is lost. He does not know what to do without his grandpa. But the guild has to go on, so he tries to hide his grief and buries himself in work, because there is a lot to do. Of course his team sees it and with a lot of coaxing, he does properly mourn Makarov. He also goes to Porlyusica to talk about him and get help with his lungs (because there's scar tissue caused by the bane particles still there).

- For weeks on end, Erza and Laxus talk about who should be the next master, even though Laxus does not even want to take on the role anymore. And because no consensus is reached with just them, they decide to have a guild poll and let everyone choose their favoured candidates (could even be someone else, they do not care). In the end, poor Laxus still ends with the responsibility, and when he discovers all the paperwork his grandfather left, he nearly has a breakdown. Fortunately, Freed comes to the rescue, and when she hears about it, Lucy also helps. Lucy gets closer to the Raijinshuu and the new master that way and Freed, Laxus and her talk at length about their childhood, expectations and the verbal abuse they had to live through.

- When he discovers the amount of money that team Natsu makes the guild lose every single mission, and the destructiveness of most of the guild members, he decides to change that with the help of other guilds. The new Council, hearing this, jumps on the opportunity to try and get the guilds more involved because they do not want to keep on dealing with Fairy Tail nonesense. They have better things to do.

- Hisui gets more involved in the politics of the country and tries her best to make relations better with their neighbours Bosco and Seven. Since Bosco was hit the worst by the forces of Alvarez, she also organizes humanitarian missions that she sends to all the guilds in Fiore. Getting missions from the crown is a never seen before occurrence, but she thinks that it's a cause important enough to get involved. Her project pays, as relations with Bosco thrive after that.

- This also makes the population more curious about the other countries of Ishgar, as Fiore has always been mostly self-sufficent and autocratic.

- The Raijinshuu + Laxus (also, I hate that Laxus isn't officially part of the team and they're just his followers, come ooooon!) is actually the strongest team of the guild, but since they're not official, well... it's not official. Even without Laxus, the team is very efficient and rarely destructive. They have the advantage of all the members being quick thinkers and all of them are quite strategic, and if Freed tells them to do something, they do it without question. And even though Laxus is very powerful, he is also very analytic when he goes on missions, and even in fights. (Yes, I have a bone to pick with team Natsu when it comes with how they operate. Also, that particular way they work? Well, makes Lucy and Wendy not blend with them very well)

Ok, I think that's it for today. I might add to my list of headcanons, because I have MANY (too many to count).

Here's a little list of things I'd like to tackle at one point or another:

- where all the (time travelling) dragonslayers originated from and how they came into the care of their dragons

- Fairy Tail ships, sexualities and the why (aka, why I think nearly none of the characters are straight)

- Acnologia's backstory, but done in a way that does not make him one-dimensional, because the King of dragons deserves it, thank you very much

- Why I dislike the characterization of the cast, and what would have worked better from a narrative point of view (from my point of view as a reader, writer, someone who LOVES character development, but also maybe a bit someone who's actually studied literature in Uni)

- Maybe also ways for the magic system to actually have consequences? Because in the canon material, we've got nearly nothing for the main cast and I am annoyed.

- And probably some more worldbuilding, because you know I LOVE me some worldbuilding. I also think way too much about stuff, so yay?

[fanficsrusz]

Lure Of The Maw Chapter Two - Henry Cavill Pirate AU

Warnings: Eventual Smut. Kidnapping. Mentions of physical harm. Men being Pervy. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SOCIAL MEDIA CONSUMPTION. NOT ME. THEREFORE I DO NOT ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY IF YOU GET TRIGGERED FROM THIS POINT ON. If you read and you feel like I’ve missed a T/W then please let me know nicely and I will adjust ❤️.

Pairing: Y/n x Pirate Henry cavill

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Y/n’s sheltered life comes crashing down when pirates use her to get what they want.

A/n; I take way to long to update anything but here we are 😂. I still have no idea what I want to happen do enjoy the nonsense until i finally get a proper plot.

Chapter one

Sleep came like the falling of an axe. I knew it must come but I fought it with everything that I had. Those defenceless hours, oblivious to my surroundings, were enough to light up my whole body with fiery sparks that make me want to scream with anger and cry with fear. I am utterly wired until that time when I cannot fight it anymore and the sleep is as instantaneous as it is unwelcome. I have some warning though, when my thoughts become intertwined with random ideas, impossible ideas, I seek my flimsy bed, not what I'm used to, and hope I can get maybe even an hour's sleep before I have to experience the horror show that is reality.

Tucked into the little shelf that night, the sleep pooled on my eyelids, and the wooden ship was filled with the soft sounds of people sleeping. The wind swooped up, over the heights of the sails, rushed and rustled through the creaking beams, and gradually ebbed away through the crags to silence that wasn't filled with the waves crashing against the side of the ship. No longer did the rocking make me feel sick, but instead created a soothing rhythm to which rocked me to sleep.

The previous day had been quiet, nothing to feel the numbing void of darkness that was offered from the bare walls. Those few hours alone was enough to make me crave any type of communication, any voice, any entertainment. But instead I only found comfort in the darkness of my eyelids.

I had no idea how long I had been asleep for until I woke to the sound of breathing that wasn't my own. It was heaving, like a man's and rapid as if he's run into the room. I listen, still, trembling as the memories of where I am rush back. He's moving slowly, his heavy feet creaking floor boards that are silent for me.

"Wake up, Princess" there booms that deep voice that still sends shivers down my spine and despite the heat that floods my body, I remain still in the poorly lit room. I can hear him lean against a beam in the room, his hands tapping gently against metal - probably his sword, or belt buckle. The way he calls me princess is more of a sarcastic humour rather than being respectful and I fight the urge to roll my eyes beneath my closed lids.

I can hear him huffing to himself when I don't respond to him and within seconds he's calling out to me again.

"For God sake, heavy sleeper are we?" I hear his weight shift again and this time the heavy strides of his steps come closer and before I can even register anything, I can feel his hand on my shoulder as he roughly shakes me.

My eyes shoot open as a gasp leaves my lips and he pulls away from me. I sit up straight and throw my legs off of the bed as I jump to my feet, trying to make my body appear as large as possible, as if he was a bear.

"I would prefer it if you didn't lay your dirty hands upon me again, captain!" His title came out as a bitter poison that I hoped would cause him some pain, something I had come to do just as he called me princess. I could have walked away had it not been for the smirk. That little rise in the corner of his mouth he was oblivious to combined with the cool detachment in his eyes that was mixed with a playful gleam of excitement that seemed to spark in his eyes.

I had unintentionally given him inner delight. He was savouring the moment as if it was a sweet nectar.

"Sleep well?"

Maybe it was his stupid face or his stupid tone, or maybe just my lack of control but I once again found my self taking a swing at him with as much ease as the restraints around my wrist would allow. But with a grunt Henry caught my wrist mid air.

That deep, low, chuckle that only he could manage echoed through the cabin again and I felt my teeth dig into my cheeks as he tightened his grip on my wrist.

"Barely even awake and already taking swings at me." his smirk remained unchanged as he stared down at me and with a rapid jerking motion of my arm, I pulled my hand from his grip.

"You're going to have to be faster than that next time"

Henry's stillness scared me. Perhaps it is the faint sunlight making his skin gleam, or the lack of wind letting every hair hang without movement, I'm not sure. He doesn't even blink. Our bodies sway with the movement of the ship, a lazy and understated rocking motion. It's times like this where if this was someone else, I would turn away and try to hide from their gaze, but not with Henry. He had this power over me that even I couldn't explain.

Henry had quite forgotten what one can see in peripheral vision and his eyes are walking from my hair line to my feet and back up again. In short, he is staring and there seems no end to his fascination. The only time his gaze breaks is when I clear my throat in an attempt to calm my thumping heart.

"I guess I will just keep on practicing".

With a swish on my dress, I take my seat again, holding my back straight and folding my arms as best as I could as I turn my gaze to the small window in the room.

I can feel Henry's gaze on me for a moment longer and from my peripheral vision I can see his tongue lick over his bottom lip.

"I have some businesses to talk to you about". The playful tone in his voice had stilled and instead was replaced by a more serious one and I rolled my eyes.

"And what's that? Is my scent to hypnotic for your idiotic crew" sarcasm.

I expected some sort of laugh or sarcastic comeback but instead all i got was a serious response.

"We have received word from your father" just like how Henry had turned serious, I too felt my body stiffen as I snapped my head to look at him, analysing to see if he was telling the truth.

"What?"

"Read for yourself" He produced a single piece of parchment from his pocket, the bright red wax sigil was one I was oh so familiar with.

With a push I was on my feet and with two large strides I found myself inches in front of Henry as I snatched the paper from his hands. My eyes skimmed over the cursive letters, my mind numbing at the words that laid there.

"It seems we have a deal"

Shock brings a quietness within, a moment to feel my emotions change gear and numb my soul for what is to come. My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up.

"Looks like he really does care about you after all" Henry's sarcastic tone returns and for once I don't know what to say.

"No" that's the only word on my mind as I reread the words over and over again. "My father would have never made a deal with people like you!"

"Well whether you believe it or not, Princess, your father has agreed to disburse the taxes back to my people in exchange for your safe return".

My eyes glance up at him through my lashes and I shove the paper back into his hand as I turn my back to him, not quite sure what I was feeling. How could my father bargain with - pirates?

With a sigh Henry continues.

"I'm just waiting for word from a friend in the village to make sure he does what he says and then your father has demanded that I leave you with a fleet of his royal guards, about a four days journey from here" I hear his voice waver a little and all I do is remain silent.

"So that's it then? I can go home in four days"

"As long as your father keeps his end of the deal then you will be sipping tea and eating your fancy pansy food by the end of the week and I will be nothing more than a distant memory"

That's what I was afraid of. Maybe it was seeing the same castle walls for the past countless years or the constant routine of being followed by guards everywhere, but with Henry, I felt a spark of excitement, endless thoughts of what could happen rather than knowing every little detail of what my future holds. And even if Henry didn't say it, I could see the look in his eyes when I disobeyed him or talked back to him. He enjoyed it just as much as I did.

His face remained motionless for a second more before his lips turned up again in what I had come to assume was his factory setting.

"Did you think I was lying? That I wouldn't keep up my end of the deal?" he chuckled lowly as he stepped forward and I felt my feet remain in their spot. "Just because I'm a pirate doesn't doesn't inherently make me a liar"

I could feel his breath on my face, the smell of alcohol strong but not unbearable, instead it was almost intoxicating but for all the wrong reasons.

"I had a mission princess." I watched as his eyes darkened and I felt the way his warm, rough fingers found my skin, wrapping around my neck with ease as he gently squeezed. I could breathe but I was more than aware that he could take that from me at any moment. I didn't move, didn't jump or didn't scream. I only stared at him, watching my reflection in his eyes.

"It wasn't to take you…. To torture you or - have my way with you" I heard the desperation in his voice and I to felt a familiar warmth in my stomach as I tried to control myself.

His eyes remained focused on me, as did mine on him. I swallowed hard and it made me all the more aware of his hand on my throat and the power he held over me.

Just as the warmth became almost unbearable, he pulled his hand away and it left a burning that I know no one could even recreate.

"No. It was to simply get your father's attention" Henry cleared his throat as he turned away from me, trying and failing to hide the fact that he was readjusting himself. "and Now that I have that, you can rest easy. Enjoy your few days at see and then you can be back home"

Seeing the effect I blatantly had on him made my heart twirl and hearing his voice made my stomach flutter. I can't help but feel this way about him.

Pin-drop silence...? How is that remotely possible with my heart somersaulting. His mahogany hair moving through his fingers as he brushed it back in a way I have come to adore and his cerulean eyes locking onto me as he turned back to face me in a trance with such intensity; looking away is unthinkable. His eyes constrict as he winked at me, unaware of the repercussions. The dimples that indent in the corners of his embellished skin is my last coherent thought as I become painfully aware of the silence that wrapped around us.

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as Henry looked in my direction, he grinned and I snapped my head away, knowing that if I continued to stare I would get lost in his big blue eyes. I could feel his eyes still on me, I silently inhaled and exhaled, hoping that his thoughts about me were good.

"I'm hungry" I quickly spurt out, not really knowing what else to say. What else could I say? I want to feel your touch on me again? I don't want to go back home because I can't stop thinking about what could happen between us? You make me feel something I've never felt before? I want to have your cock as deep inside me as humanly possible? This man was turning me into a harlot.

Henry smiled to himself, his eyes dropping as he inhaled deeply.

"Very well, i'll send something in".

With a nod of his head he sent a member of the crew off to fulfill my request. Henry turned around to leave but not before taking one last look up and down my body. He may have thought I didn't see that, but I did.

"Captain?" I called out hastily and he stopped in his tracks and his attention was back on me.

I said nothing and only extended my binded hands in his direction. Henry raised his eyebrows in confusion before finally letting them fall as he realised what I was asking of him.

"What? No!" he huffed out a chuckled and I let my arms drop back to my body

"How does once expect me to eat with these"

"Well you seemed to manage quite fine when trying to attack me earlier. Not to mention how you busted my lip not too long ago as well" Henry crossed his arms and my face remained stoic.

"it's not going to happen, Princess. No offence but I don't fancy waking up with a knife to my throat" I opened my mouth to protest but decided against it seeing as he was half right.

I felt my lip twitch in annoyance as I suddenly accepted the fact that the binds were there to stay for a while longer and I shifted on my feet.

"I don't blame you. I would do the same if I was in the same situation - fight back that is." His eyes softened a little in reassurance and my heart once again flipped. "But nonetheless, the ropes stay tied".

Henry once again turned to leave me but for some reason I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted him to stay with me almost.

"My father really isn't a bad man" I watched as Henry's shoulders stiffened and he sighed heavily.

"How I do wish to live in that fantasy world you get to live in"

He slowly turned again and the soft expression and playful smirk were gone, instead replaced with an angered grimace.

"He is a bad man. He's a murderer and a thief." his eyes remained dark with rage.

"Let's just say I wouldn't lose a night's sleep if I got the chance to kill him myself, I can tell you that" his rage subsided a little as he noticed my wide eyes and his chuckle once again filled the room.

"Don't worry, princess. Your daddy's going to be just fine unless he goes back on his word. if he takes you and then goes back on his promise, he's going to lose more than just you. He'll lose his limbs, his eyes, he's tongue and just about everything else".

I remained silent through his little threat. Henry huffed a little, running his hand over his beard.

"I'm not a monster, princess. I may be a brood and violent at times. But I have my reasons for the way I am. Can you say the same for your father?" His voice became softer and calmer than I had heard before. I couldn't tell who was lying. Him. Or me. The one person who kept saying my father wasn't a monster.

I saw those gravity-drawn shoulders painting a picture of Henry's heart, as if neither it nor his soul would welcome a beat. I see in his eyes that his brain had built some new walls with him so lonely on the other side. I too knew that same feeling as I felt the tears burn the edges of eyes.

My eyes fell to the floor and I watched as he stepped closer to me, his hand coming to tap my chin, forcing me to look up at him.

His eyes were so different in that moment, more soft than I knew eyes could be. The dangerous pirate who could kill me at any second was gone and instead they were the eyes of one who cared deeply. If it were anyone else I would drop my gaze, but with him, I'm drawn in closer, always wanting more. In his eyes is humanity, the person he really is and not what the world saw him as.

"The world is a cruel place and the truth is cold, y/n" he spoke my name with such delicacy and it made me feel warm inside. Never before did my name sound so beautiful.

"you've had the luxury of hiding from it, but I haven't. You could judge me for the way I turned out and I can sure as hell judge you too. Safe, naive, sheltered, believing that everything is good and all is right. All the while my people are being beaten, hung, dragged behind on horses as they scream for their lives - " his voice grew in volume and the rage he felt was understandable and I felt sorry for him. " - and for what? For not being able to pay some ridiculous tax?"

Henry's breathing became heavy, rugged and uneven and my heart ached to hug him, to apologise for everything.

"All I can say is ask him yourself when you get back. See if his eyes speak true to his innocence." Behind that icy stare was a mountain of pain, yet extracting it would bring pain and instability.

We stood in silence, the only thing keeping me from crying was the fact that my teeth dug into my cheeks, a trick I was taught by a maid to control my emotions years ago.

Neither of us moved until a knock filled the silence and we both shifted away from each other. I wiped my eyes of their vacant tears and Henry cleared his throat. I turned my head away from the man who entered the room with a tray of food, and I listened closely as I heard two sets of footsteps leave the room without another word.

~~

My thoughts were blank. What a strange occurrence. Normally my thoughts were twisting and turning; suffocating me with their whispers. But now, nothing. What did I know? I knew nothing. I lived a lie and now I didn't know what to do.

I chewed my nail impatiently, my foot bouncing against the wood below them and I needed answers of the truth.

"Princess!" that deep voice called out to me from down the hall outside my room and I jumped to my feet, straightening out my dress a little in the process.

The second I saw his head of hair peer round the door, I allowed my face to hold its stoic position as I waited to see what he wanted.

"Good evening. How was your dinner?" His eyes fell to the empty plate that once held an array of foods from chicken to nuts and dates, not what I had expected from a pirate ship. In all honesty they could have given me a stale piece of bread and I would have consumed every crumb within seconds.

"It was satisfactory" I held my head high as he picked up the plate and handed it to someone else.

"Oh my sincere apologies on behalf of the ship's cook for disappointing your majesty" he gave a small bow and it stunned me how his cocky nature had quickly returned and I was still caught up in my emotions.

"Are you mocking me, Captain?" His eyes squinted slightly as he drew out a long hum before nodding profusely.

"hmmm, yes" he laughed loudly and I rolled my eyes.

"Well if that is all you intend to do I request to be alone"

"That's not all I came down here for".

He peeked my interest and I peered at him intently.

"No, I came to check in on you. Give you a little bit of company" Henry looked around the room as if he had never seen it before himself as he took a seat on a chair that sat in the corner, the wood creaking under his weight.

"it does get awfully lonely down here and something tells me you aren't one to go without attention"

I stared him down and blew a strand of hair from my face.

"Don't take me for a fool, captain" my voice was strong and unfaltering and Henry held his hands up defensively.

"Caught me in a lie you did" he chuckled again before sitting back comfortably. His eyes stared at my body again before landing on my face that I was sure had a tint of red.

"Alright, I confess - You fascinate me"

Words left me as my mind went blank.

"w-what?" the only word that seemed I was able to speak.

"Well I just can't stay away. I'm actually going to miss having you aboard. You've got a fire inside you that no one seems to dampen. Never before have I had someone speak to me the way you do. I thought about the day someone finally did and I imagined what they would look like. But a princess never seemed to fit that description. You're definitely more than I bargained for".

I felt almost embarrassed as he stared at me, the warmth in my stomach almost matching the warmth that radiated from my chest.

"Not once have you wailed or cried in self pity. You haven't begged for your life or your father's" he shook his head as he seemed to remember something, an inside joke maybe. Henry wagged his finger at me and chuckled.

"But you. You take swings at me, spit in my face and you fight back".

I felt a small smile pull at my lips as pride filled me.

"So?"

"so, if I stay here for a little while will I get hurt again?"

The smile on my face grew a little at the admittance that I had managed to hurt him.

"No" I simply said, taking a seat on my bed.

"tell me. Will you be happy to return?" The smile I had faded just as quick as it had appeared and even I didn't know the answer to that but thankfully Henry was too eager with his questions to allow me to linger on that one.

"What's it even like there? To live in luxury? I reckon my imagination doesn't do it justice"

I felt a sarcastic remark bite at my tongue and I couldn't control it.

"It's more than an animal like you deserves" I glanced at him briefly with a glint of resistance before turning my gaze back to the wall.

"Oh I see. You know it's funny, princess" Henry stood from his seat and slowly marched to stand in front of me, hands behind his back as his eyes remained on me. "Your lips insult me… But your eyes twinkle as they do"

I swallowed the lump in my front as I crossed my legs and straightened my posture.

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

Henry chuckled, stepping closer to me before leaning down so his face was inches away from mine.

"You know what I think? I think I am no more of an animal to you than you are a rich, spoiled brat to me" our eyes met and I could see the resistance that both of us held. His eyes flickered down to my lips for a second and I could tell he didn't mean to do it. "I think we both know that there's more to each other than meets the eye"

I so badly wanted to reach out to him, to run my fingers through his salty hair. But my pride held me back and Henry thankfully stood up.

"Be honest, there's a part of you that's thriving on all of this. Being amongst pirates and being at sea away from civilization and prying eyes. And being more than a pretty face in a perfect little world" his voice turned dark with desire as I stared up at him, not quite sure what to say.

"So you admit you think I'm pretty"

"and you don't deny anything else"

We both held our gazes strong and anyone could feel the tension that surrounded us.

"You see, I can be quite perspective - for an animal" He chuckled lowly and I still remained silent.

"Well princess, I bid you goodnight. I'm going to be turning in soon."

Henry turned to leave and I suddenly found my voice.

"Can you leave a candle burning?" Henry smiled and simply nodded, pulling a match from his pocket and sticking it to create a flame that lit the room much more.

"I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark, princess." he smiled softly.

"And maybe a blanket?" Henry's eyes flooded with guilt as he finally noticed the way I clung onto myself for any warmth.

"You've - you've been cold?" I watched as his gaze turned to his men who stood outside the door and their faces turned white with fear.

"My sincere apologies, Princess. My men should have been on that and I promise you the right consequences will be taken"

I laughed quietly as I watched the men scramble to find a blanket and within seconds one was being handed to me.

"Now for God's sake we are not your servants, no more requests".

I wrapped the scratchy blanket around my body but I couldn't care less because the warmth was all I needed.

"Good night, princess"

"Good night, captain"

Tbc

(tags will be added in reblog)

[obligatory-shirt]

I just finished watching the last season of the Clone Wars and I have some things to say about it. Mainly me gushing abt how Anakin and Ahsoka's relationship was done but be warned: spoilers ahead, so go away if you don't want those (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

I will preface this by mentioning that I am one of many siblings, with multiple younger and older siblings, so I have some sense of what it feels like to be the older sib and the younger one.

First thing that i went hecc yeah at was when Ahsoka called Anakin her older brother in I think s7e5, Gone with a Trace. Looking at how they are there for one another and especially how f i e r c e l y Anakin defends Ahsoka during the last arc of season 5, there is no other word that could describe their closeness. That intense, roaring platonic love they hold for one another is utterly undeniable.

My biggest talking point is s7e9, Old Friends Not Forgotten. This is the episode we've all been waiting for where Anakin and Ahsoka finally meet up. The sheer joy and amazement at seeing Ahsoka again renders Anakin speechless. There is so much he wants to ask, so much he wants to know, so much he knows he's missed. Most of all? He's missed her. Her company, her wit, being able to see her every day and just have her around. The security that came with her presence and that friendship was lost when she left the Jedi order, but now that she's come to him? There's nothing more he wants to do than to assure her happiness and her security.

Ahsoka comes to the ship, and due to the circumstances, Anakin cannot truly talk to her for a short while. Once business is out of the way, however, Anakin pulls out all the stops because Ahsoka is his little sister and there is nothing he won't do for her. A similar level of comraderie could be extended to Captain Rex and the men of the 501st—just look at their helmets, for crying out loud. Think about how much time and care was put into painting all their helmets in Ahsoka's honor to celebrate the return of the life of their crew.

Anakin, though. His little sister's come back. He's been holding onto her lightsabers and he can hardly wait to give them to her, to see the look on her face when she gets them. While I was watching the episode, I half expected that Anakin would have to give Ahsoka the case with the lightsabers and run off, but I was so happy when he took the time to present them in person. Not only does he arm her, he ensures that the reason she came to him and Obi-Wan does not go dismissed. Anakin bends the rules to help her in such a way that she won't be held responsible, should anything go wrong.

Anakin gives Ahsoka Captain Rex.

This cannot be understated. Rex is Anakin's closest friend, second only to Obi-Wan (he's married to Padme so she doesn't quite count, and feck Palpatine, honestly). All matters of friendship aside, Rex is one of the most skilled clone troopers in the Republic Army. He's the leader of Anakin's troops for a reason, so with an impending battle, Anakin should in theory have his Captain with him. Instead, he sends Rex with Ahsoka.

Only with Rex can Ahsoka legally operate as commander, though it's Rex who holds the rank. Anakin cares so much about Ahsoka that he's willing to give her his best friend and captain of his troops. (It is worth noting that Rex and Ahsoka are very close as well, and another reason Rex went with Ahsoka was to give them more time to catch up, but that's for another rant.)

Another point for the powerful sibling bond between the two: Anakin does all this without a second thought. btw

Now, look at the events of the next few episodes, largely focusing on Ahsoka's response to Maul's prophecies and visions. When she first hears about him wanting Anakin, one of her main concerns is making sure her older brother is alright. Someone is plotting and Anakin could get caught in it so she needs to know that he's okay, that nothing's happened to him. Time and time again she asks after him, wanting to speak with him. While I know narratively Ahsoka cannot interfere because we know Darth Vader, it still hurts every time she tries to talk with him and either can't reach him or just barely misses him.

In the final episode, Maul shows Ahsoka what Anakin will do and is doing, the darkness he will fall into, and it shakes her. The majority of the episode is based around the execution of Order 66, so we don't get to see much of Ahsoka ans Anakin's relationship manifest itself until the very end.

I kid you not, I sat reeling after the episode ended. Holy. Feck.

Ahsoka and Rex, after burying the clones who died in the crash, look out at the makeshift graveyard, and Ahsoka holds one of her lightsabers, the shorter of the two that Anakin gifted to her, loosely in her hands. It teeters forward, the balance lost, but Ahsoka holds it on the edge of her fingers for the briefest of moments before letting it fall to the ground, and she leaves. Maul showed her what mistakes Anakin would commit, and that s h a t t e r e d her faith in Anakin. This second lightsaber Anakin gave her, she can't hold onto. For lack of a better phrasing, it's too painful.

From a different perspective, Ahsoka might not know the full extent of what Anakin will become. Perhaps she assumes that Anakin died with the execution of Order 66 and leaves the lightsaber at the graveyard in memory of him. He was her brother, after all, and she'd want to do something to honor his memory.

The next scene shows us what looks like Hoth, a vast area ridden by a blizzard, snow billowing across the field. Darth Vader crosses the snow to stop before a crashed Imperial warship, an orange trooper helmet in the snow. The distinctive pattern of the helmet make it unmistakable: this was the warship Ahsoka was on when Order 66 was given. Leaning down, Vader brushes aside snow to dig out a lightsaber. Turning it on, he stares at it.

This. This was Ahsoka's lightsaber. Is she dead? Did she survive? He has no way of knowing. Anakin has lost his wife, his limbs, his brother—everything he held dear, and now, he has lost his precious little sister as well. She's gone, whether escaped across the galaxy or buried somewhere beneath the snowdrifts. With resignation and sorrow, There is no turning back now, he supposes, turning to the sky as if she'd be there sitting in a starship. Everything Anakin Skywalker had is gone. Only Darth Vader remains. He turns off the lightsaber, and walks away, leaving a damaged clone helmet, the front of it painted orange and white in the image of someone Vader no longer knows, behind him in the cold, unforgiving snow.

[mybrainproblems]

Yeah, you're right!!! It most def is a more recent thing. I literally cannot read anything where dean is THAT repressed, it's physically painful

Like! Normally I'm a voracious reader of fic when I first get into a ship but with destiel I basically gave up after reading some of the more "modern" stuff on rec lists bc I felt so dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Based on the fraction of a fraction of fic I've read it seems to have really taken off during 2020 slash when s15 started airing but especially post-15x18??

Which I find baffling since we have from the vessel himself that Dean doesn't think angels are capable of love the way that humans are. Which means he's thought about it! And! This is actually said within the show with Dean's line about how trying to care just "breaks" angels because "they don't have the equipment" to care the way humans do.

Dean is not repressed but he does repress his desires. It's a minor linguistic difference that adds up to a massive emotional and psychological difference. And it's in the text babey.

I was going to toss this in the tags bc I think this might come across a bit dickish but fuck it: I think a lot of the recent "Dean is repressed" crap comes from the confession and Dean's perceived lack of reaction that the larger internet community clowned on. Which is kind of funny when you think about it bc if you're in the fandom you know it's all about the microexpressions and jacting joices? And it's obvious that the scene was chopped to hell and we were TOLD THAT by both Speight and Jensen! I'm not trying to be like "only real fans understand!" but I do think that the larger reaction by the internet to the confession and Jensen's really understated performance did impact destiel writers' characterization of Dean in fic written post-confession.

(And for the record, I had not seen anything besides gifs on Tumblr and watched the confession scene on 5 Nov and was blown away by Jensen's acting in that scene, awkwardly edited as it is. It absolutely did not read as a lack of or negative reaction, but then again I am terminally and painfully deancoded.)

I could literally go on about this for hours but I'm trying to be low sodium.

[graysongraysoff]

the most fascinating thing to me as someone who is only now, in the year of our lord 2020, experiencing the cowboy bebop fandom is how many people ship spike and faye, because while i completely get it (especially after a couple rewatches) and there is plenty there to work with and you are all more than valid, i cannot emphasize enough how much it never 👏 even 👏 crossed 👏 my 👏 mind 👏 when i was first watching through the show, and i mean that in, like, the most positive and affirmative way i possibly can. 

like, part of my obliviousness is probably just me being more of a ~genfic kinda bitch~, if you take my meaning, but i also think it has a lot to do with how well-balanced all the relationships in the show are, spike and faye’s being no exception. at no point does anything feel forced between them the way it often does between the male and female lead; nothing about it is heavyhanded, and, at least to me, it genuinely feels like it could fall on either side of the romantic/platonic tightrope depending on who’s watching. their relationship, at its heart, follows the same basic formula that all the relationships between the members of the bebop crew do: they’re loners who are, for one reason or another, hesitant about getting close to people, and so they’re trying to navigate that space between not wanting to get hurt again and starting to really care about each other in spite of themselves. there isn’t a lot of what i would characterize as flirting in their dialogue (unless you count all the bickering, which i know some folks do, and again you are so, so valid), much less any kind of unguarded affection, but what they don’t say with words they say with acts of love (spike going after faye when she gets tied up with the scratch cult; faye trying to keep spike from confronting vicious in the finale), and this is also consistent with how the rest of the bebop crew shows their affection for one another (i mean, come on, the member of the crew who comes the closest to actually talking about his feelings is jet, and even he only gets as far as like “‘i don’t even care,’ he cared caringly as he continued to care deeply”).

i’m not sure what my like Point here even is anymore lol. basically i just love so much how subtly and skillfully the relationships in cowboy bebop are written and particularly how even-handedly spike and faye are handled (and particularly faye, who i don’t mind saying i was worried about when i first saw her character design, lol). nothing takes a backseat so they can have an overwrought straight romance, you know? they’re just another pair of broken things on a ship that’s full of ‘em, showing each other affection in the quiet ways they can, and it’s understated and poignant and beautiful, and yes it’s ambiguous, but i think that ambiguity adds to it even more, because it almost doesn’t even matter whether they love each other romantically or platonically, you know?

it just matters that they love each other.

[faithhopedreamslove]

The 100 7x12 thoughts

I’m constantly amazed at how much The 100 manages to pack into one episode, which is why I have to rewatch each one at least once before I can gather my thoughts. It gives me hope, because even though we only have 4 episodes left, SO much can happen between now and then. 

Although not surprising, I hated seeing Sachin’s and the Children of Gabriel’s deaths. That essentially means the end of all Sanctumites. Despite Monty’s edict to do better, it seems Bellamy, Clarke, and crew have indirectly brought about the destruction of another society, albeit a dysfunctional one.

I can’t tell if Gabriel’s comment to Bellamy that he looks good in white was meant to be snarky, flirting, or hiding a deeper meaning. But it was unexpected, to say the least!

So Bellamy is testing Cadogan’s attachment to Anders. Does that mean he’s not fully brainwashed? Plus, he’s also bargaining for his friends’ lives. The old Bellamy is still in there somewhere.

The scene between Jordan and Hope was incredibly moving and sweet. These two really are the “odd ones out,” and it was nice to see that the writers acknowledged that and used that to forge a tentative bond between them. They are technically the next generation of the human race, along with Madi and the other kids.

The roommate pairings are so significant. In one room, Bellamy’s new family. In the other, his old family. I know Bellamy has known Raven from the beginning, but they truly became family on the Ring. The fact that Bellamy sent her off to M-Cap so easily was chilling. And I wish they had shown Raven in M-Cap - I hate how insignificant her character has become this season.

The scene between Bellamy and Echo was understated but powerful. Huge hats off to Tasya Teles for that scene - she acted brilliantly. Both of their voices were low, deep with emotion. This was a defining moment for Echo - until now, she has blindly followed her leaders. Queen Nia, Roan, and now Bellamy. And unknowingly, she has been working against the very people her leader and love, Bellamy, fully supports. So she is at a crossroads here. Her last question to him, “Is this thing you believe really that important? Is it more important than us?” is huge. And the “us” can be interpreted two ways - “us” as the entire group, or “us” as in Bellamy and Echo and their relationship. I think that’s why there’s such confusion as to whether they broke up when Bellamy answered “yes.” And the way Echo reacts is telling - she is struggling with herself. Should she follow her leader, Bellamy, as she’s always done, and support the Shepherd? Or does she finally break away and follow her own beliefs?

And in stark contrast, we have the Bellamy and Clarke scene. Where Bellamy and Echo were quiet, Bellamy and Clarke are passionate, fighting to get through to one another. Bellamy shared his life-altering experience in Etherea with them, which he didn’t with Echo. And when Clarke starts breaking apart, telling Bellamy she doesn’t even recognize him, he starts breaking too. He reminds her that he is the person who brought her back from the dead, who fought for her. Of all the things he could have reminded her of, I think it’s telling that this is what he chooses to try to reach her with. And my heart broke when Bellamy asked her to believe in him. He didn’t ask Echo to do the same - he basically told her what he believes, and that was that. He asked Clarke to believe in him because he NEEDS her to. When they are at odds with each other, neither one of them is whole. It’s only when they both believe in the same thing that they are complete, and Bellamy knows this, consciously or subconsciously.

It’s interesting, because I think this scene was meant to show us how Bellamy is NOT fully brainwashed. Yes, he believes in the final war and transcendence, but his first priority is still to save his friends, to save Clarke. The way he said “I am trying to save YOU,” to Clarke was so raw and full of emotion. This is the woman he just pulled from the brink of death mere months ago. He has had to grieve her death not once, but TWICE. He CANNOT go through that again. Bellamy is trying to work with his head and his heart. His heart wants to believe in Cadogan fully, but his head is coming up with a plan to save his friends, because his heart still loves Clarke and his friends - Cadogan doesn’t fully own it yet.

I know Clarke calling Bellamy her best friend has riled some people, but he IS her best friend. The foundation of the strongest love is friendship. And what else would she call him? She can’t say “the man I love is standing in front of me,” because she still believes he’s with Echo.

I am so, so happy to see Octavia and Clarke reconnecting with each other. These two have been together since the drop ship, and their relationship has gone through so many ups and downs. For Octavia to say that she finally understands Clarke is huge, because these two women have not always seen eye to eye on things. 

Octavia has also been observer #1 of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship. She has seen them love each other, fight with each other, fight FOR each other. It’s telling that she lets Clarke get in Bellamy’s face while she hangs back. Partly because O knows that she hasn’t yet fully mended her relationship with Bellamy the way Clarke has. But also because she knows that the only one who can get through to Bellamy is Clarke, and vice versa. I also love how she comforted Clarke when Bellamy refused to listen to them, and tried to fight when Bellamy sent her off to M-Cap. 

Doucette had grown on me in Etherea, but now he just seems creepy.

Bellamy can’t even stand to watch Clarke being tortured in M-Cap. Every time he looks at her, he has to look away. And when he can’t take it anymore, he tries to convince Cadogan that Clarke doesn’t know where the Flame is. So much for not lying to the Shepherd. He’ll absolutely do just that where Clarke is concerned. And Bellamy’s wince when Clarke finally agrees to help Cadogan after he threatens to send one of her friends to Penance - Bellamy knows Clarke, and he knows she will always sacrifice herself to save her friends. This is a HUGE parallel to CoL-Abby, who said to torture her friends to get Clarke to break. Abby was fully brainwashed, and knew that the quickest way to get to Clarke is to threaten her friends. Bellamy also knows this, but he did not offer that knowledge up to Cadogan. Again, I think we’re seeing signs that Bellamy is not fully brainwashed. And the way he looked at Cadogan when he said “she knows, or she wouldn’t be fighting,” had a hint of disgust - Bellamy does not want to follow a Shepherd who tortures people to get what he wants. The cracks are starting to deepen in Bellamy’s brainwashing here.

My two cents on “It didn’t have to be this way.” “Yes it did.” - I think Bellamy was honestly trying to save his friends with the least amount of damage caused. In his mind, Clarke tells them where the Flame is, they give it to Cadogan, his friends are safe, and they all transcend. Clarke’s response is more cryptic. I interpreted her “Yes, it did,” to mean that she wanted Bellamy to witness her torture so that he can realize that Cadogan is a monster. She knows this is the only way to get through to him. Clarke is trying to save Bellamy, just as much as he is trying to save her. This is a direct parallel to season 6. Bellamy fought to save Clarke from Josephine, who was controlling her mind. Clarke is fighting to save Bellamy from Cadogan, who is controlling his mind.

I’m so over Shidheida. He can take his OTT outfit, OTT throne, and get the hell out of here.

I LOVE Murphy and Emori this episode. My love for them has steadily been growing, and I especially love how protective they are of Madi. I’m wondering if this is setting them up to become Madi’s parents when Clarke and Bellamy go off to take the final test and perhaps have their Marperly ever after ending. I would be sad for Madi to lose Clarke, but I’m glad of the relationship she’s developing with Murphy and Emori. Plus, if this theory is correct, that means that Murphy would actually live!

Miller is so freaking underutilized this season, and it breaks my heart. He’s one of the original 100. His scene with Bellamy was cut this episode, and I was really looking forward to it. Bellamy trusted Miller before he trusted most others, and they go way back. With so few episodes left, it was a huge missed opportunity to acknowledge their bond. It’s telling that he looked to Clarke for confirmation as to whether she’s good with what’s happening. Clearly, he has lost faith in Bellamy for now.

From a narrative standpoint, Echo and Bellamy are now separated until we don’t know what episode. Whether Bellarke becomes canon or not, clearly the writers did not feel it was important to keep Becho together this close to the end of the story, yet they kept Bellarke together and on the same planet. Where this leads, we shall see.

Murphy’s little smirk when he sees Clarke is everything. That was a total cockroach moment. It’s also indicative of how much respect and affection Murphy has for Clarke. He missed her, and he knows she’ll find a way to fix the mess they’re in, like she always does. Clarke’s reaction “What the hell happened here?” was writing gold. I don’t care if they moved the stone into the castle just for this scene - it was a great way to end the episode!

Wow, this got way longer than I expected. If you read it all the way through, thank you! Please share your thoughts! 

[shimmersing]

Best Intentions Masterpost | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Bonus! Soundtrack @ Spotify

Chapter Four: In My Arms 

“I feel like we keep arriving late to the party,” Erithon said dryly to Jorgan and Dorne as they entered the Thul warehouse uncontested.

A young man dressed in Organa colors ordered a group of beaten, grumbling Thul guards into a makeshift holding cell at the back of the building. The same guards that Erithon and the rest of Havoc Squad had expected to be battling themselves, but apparently someone had beaten them to the punch… literally.

The man tapped a code into the keypad with relish, and the forcefield lit up the doorway, sealing the indignant guards inside. He grinned and turned to Erithon, rushing over with a look of awe. “You’re with the Republic?”

“Havoc Squad. You’re with House Organa?”

“Brant Sonn, sir,” he replied with a bow.

Definitely from here, Erithon thought. “Wait…” Erithon frowned at the young man, recalling the briefing. “Brant Sonn? One of the hostages?”

“Yes!” He answered with a shade too much enthusiasm, pausing to compose the rest of his answer thoughtfully. “The Wolf Baron freed us when the diplomat turned herself in. We came for her as soon as we’d heard what happened. We couldn’t allow a friend of our house to remain under Thul’s hold, not after she sacrificed herself for us.”

“Was anyone hurt? I mean, besides…” Erithon nodded toward the bruised Thul guards, ensconced safely behind the forcefield.

Brant grinned. “No, sir, but the diplomat was sedated, we think. She’s a Jedi, so we-”

Erithon grasped the other man’s shoulder. “The Jedi. Where is she?”

“There, with the Duke, still in the other cell.” Brant pointed toward the other storage area where Charle Organa paced restlessly behind a slicer working at unlocking the forcefield. Beyond the crackling barrier, Erithon could just make out a human form.

“Thanks. Jorgan, see if there’s anything else we can do for Brant here. Dorne, with me.” He clapped Brant gratefully on the shoulder before turning toward the duke.

Organa looked up as they approached, his surprise lasting only a moment before being replaced by relief and gratitude. “Lieutenant! Please, tell me you’ve brought medical supplies.”

“Yes, sir,” Erithon answered, just as the slicer made one final adjustment. The glowing shield dropped, allowing Erithon, Elara, and Duke Organa to finally reach the unconscious occupant.

The prone figure was swathed in neutral shades, and a glimpse of dusky blonde hair peeked out from under the familiar hood. No, no, this isn’t what I meant when I-

The sickening lurch in his stomach almost sent Erithon to the dusty floor of the warehouse.

Aitahea.

“What in blazes happened?” Erithon demanded as he rushed to her side and yanked off his gloves. Elara dropped to the floor beside them, digging through her kit.

Duke Organa scowled furiously while he hovered. “They drugged her. Some kind of gas. Barbarians. Can you wake her?”

It looked like she’d been tossed unceremoniously over a shipping container after the drug had taken effect; the very thought set Erithon’s teeth grinding. He scooped the unconscious Jedi into a sitting position, pushing her hood back and shifting gently to let her head rest on his armored shoulder. She was white as the snow outside, lashes stark black against hollow cheeks. Biting back a particularly vicious curse, he pressed his fingers to her neck and exhaled sharply when he found a steady pulse. Elara Dorne finished her search and pulled out a handful of stims, efficiently scanning the labels before passing one to the waiting lieutenant.

“Antidote for general sedatives, sir.”

Erithon wasted no time in pressing the stim to Aitahea’s throat, watching anxiously as the medication worked its way into her system. He let the empty cartridge fall away, cradling her cheek in one hand as he waited for a response. “Come on, Jedi.”

The trooper held his breath while she stirred. Her eyelids fluttered, then opened, green eyes clouded as she focused on his face.

“Oh. Lieutenant.” A slow blink drew her eyes closed for a long moment before opening again to reveal a dreamy smile. “I was just thinking of you.”

He broke into a wide grin, elated and undeniably pleased. “If we keep meeting like this, Master Jedi, I might start getting ideas.” He closed his arms around her, unable to hide the deep sigh of relief that rushed out. “How is it you end up in my arms every time we meet?”

She gave a soft laugh, for a fleeting moment nothing more than a pretty girl amused by his witty banter. She lifted a hand and tapped gently on his chest plate. “I received your message, but I haven’t had a chance to watch it.”

Now it was his turn to laugh, only to be interrupted by the understated sound of Elara clearing her throat. Erithon started, realizing he still had Aitahea cradled close, his thumb idly brushing the curve of her cheek. Erithon spared a glance toward Duke Organa, who had watched their reunion unfold with a charmed expression. Erithon self-consciously dropped his hand from Aitahea’s face and hastened to help her sit upright while Elara thoughtfully offered the Jedi water. Aitahea gave the other woman a grateful smile, then looked toward Duke Organa.

“Your Grace. Are the hostages safe?”

“Indeed, and once free they immediately came to your aid.”

Aitahea blinked, brow knitting. “They came… for me?”

“Without hesitation.”

Aitahea nodded solemnly, thoughts elsewhere for a beat before finally lifting the container of water to her lips with trembling hands. Erithon hovered protectively at her side, frowning when he realized her already-slight form was thinner than on Taris. It had been months, of course, but… what had happened since then?

Elara leaned closer, peering carefully at Aitahea. “Master Jedi, I’m Sergeant Elara Dorne.” The sergeant glanced briefly at Erithon before continuing her queries. “How do you feel? Any pain or discomfort?”

“Woozy, Sergeant, but I expect that’s normal, thank you. A vast improvement from a few minutes ago. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“Lieutenant,” Aitahea turned back to Erithon, eyes clearer than they’d been moments ago, color returning to her cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re the cavalry, of course.” Erithon jerked a thumb back over one shoulder. “Been helping the Duke out with his troublesome neighbors. We were supposed to rescue some diplomat,” he intoned, playing at charming nonchalance. Aitahea’s lips curled in a smile again. “But it seems the folks you helped felt they needed to return the favor first. We just brought the medkit.”

“Oh!” Aitahea marveled, eyes aglow, as she pieced together the last few hours. “It was you who took back the Spears!”

“Guilty as charged, Master Jedi,” Erithon replied, basking in her attention. She’d been in his thoughts so often. He’d found himself scanning through his messages for her name every time he’d had a reasonable signal. There’d been no more dreams of her since Taris – at least not of them as children again, anyway – and this wasn’t the exact reunion he’d hoped for, but having her whole and close was better than he could have asked, even under these unusual circumstances.

Then again, this was starting to look more like the norm for them.

“It seems you two know each other.” Organa’s eyes danced, amusement lightening his knowing tone.

Aitahea’s eyes flickered from the duke to Erithon and back, her smile shy but bright. “On Taris, Your Grace, we retrieved impossibly valuable data from the wreck of an old starship. The mission was a great success.”

“I beg your pardon, Master Jedi, but I think it’s advisable that you see a medic once we’ve returned to Organa Castle,” Elara said, gathering up the few items she’d removed from her pack. “Otherwise your condition seems to be improving rapidly.”

Aitahea nodded, her attention shifting past the sergeant to where Qyzen Fess and Aric Jorgan approached, led by Brant Sonn. “Good. Because I don’t think we’re finished here.��

Erithon observed the scowl on Jorgan’s face before turning back to Aitahea, rising slowly but steadily. “Are you sure you’re up for that? You were out cold just a few minutes ago.”

“Whatever your companion administered is working quickly, and I have the Force with me, as always. All will be well.” Aitahea studied him, and he couldn’t help shuffling sheepishly under her reserved scrutiny. “I am… so pleased to see you, Lieutenant.”

He shrugged casually, but a gratifying warmth had settled quite firmly in his chest. “Erithon is fine, you know, if it’s okay with you.”

Her lips parted, the shade of a smile appearing before she looked toward their waiting allies.

“We have a problem,” Jorgan said. “The Thul army is on the march again. General?” He lifted a holocomm, the bluish projection brightening the dark corner of the warehouse as General Kashim appeared.

“It is good to see you alive. Matters are moving quickly, and House Organa is in dire need of reinforcement.”

“What can we do to help?” Aitahea asked, steadying herself with a hand on Erithon’s arm. He found himself biting his lip to avoid interrupting the Jedi with an admonishment for offering her assistance, knowing full well – after a moment of careful consideration – that she knew her boundaries better than he would. As much as he wanted her out of harm’s way, that wasn’t in the cards for either of them.

“The Empire has sent several Sith apprentices to support the Thul army. Organa soldiers are proving no match.”

Those gathered murmured their concern, but Aitahea looked positively alarmed. “Sith, even apprentices, are not to be trifled with.”

“We’re used to fighting blasters,” Brant Sonn added with a deep frown. “Not the Force.”

Kashim continued over the holo. “So long as the Sith are in place, we cannot win this battle. You must make a full assault on their war camps immediately.”

Aitahea dropped her head, resignation darkening her words. “It seems peace must wait.”

“This is the greatest challenge House Organa has faced. If we win, Thul will be repelled, and we can go on the offensive.”

“Aitahea, I can hardly ask you to risk yourself once again, but it seems I have no choice,” Charle Organa added, shaking his head in disbelief. “If we lose, House Organa will be forced into exile.”

Aitahea drew a sharp breath at his admission, fingers tightening on Erithon’s armored wrist. “Your Grace, I will not allow that to happen.”

Organa smiled tightly. “I expected nothing less from a paladin of my house. And you have strong, courageous allies.” The duke nodded at Erithon, who returned a practiced salute.

“May the Force be with you,” General Kashim added as his final word, and the comm went dark.

The Jedi lifted her eyes to Erithon’s again, clear and determined. “We have work to do.”

Best Intentions Masterpost | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Bonus! Soundtrack @ Spotify

[luvvewan]

Classic Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon Fic Recs

@tohje had the great idea of doing a rec list for some of the classic, beloved stories from the O/Q ship. These are some of the first stories many of us read in the fandom, and coming back to them now is like getting in touch with an old friend, only instead of a friend, it’s a story about two unusually attractive men.  Links are to AO3, unless not available, in which case the links will take you to the MA archive. Enjoy!

Tohje’s Recs

Crystallize by torch: “A peaceful mission develops some unforeseen complications, and Qui-Gon Jinn learns something new about Obi-Wan Kenobi, and something new about himself.” (Gen/Not rated.)

Hypnotic, quiet and understated. Sauna and endless winter; I was born to hype this. :D I also love this writer’s Gardening at night (especially for you people interested in more plot-driven and more explicit times.)

Memories of Never-Was by Nym: This series in three parts is marked incomplete, but I think it leaves readers in quite a good place. (Gen/Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi.)

Gentle, grounded, dare I say intimate Qui-Gon Lives AU. Slice-of-Jedi-life focusing on characters.

Round My Heart Entwine by splix: “Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan celebrate anniversaries as master and padawan.” (Explicit)

‘Growing relationship through the years’ kind of fic, which I adore. Details are exquisite. Heartbreakingly canon compliant in the end. Heed the warnings/tags!

The Retreat by Mrs Hamill: “Obi-Wan is a senior padawan. Qui-Gon takes him on a field trip.

”I remember I read this trope first time from this fic when re-entering the fandom, so it has a special place in my heart. A personal favorite from this writer (another one is The Ghost and Mr. Kenobi). (Explicit/Canon compliant in the end again!)

Jane St. Clair (author): I cannot pick just one. Read every single one of them, please. Otherworldly, floating, dreamy, insanely atmospheric. So much happens under the surface, and you have to work with the text, which I love.  (LuvEwan: Jane St. Clair was one of my top picks too! My favorite would probably be Floating World. You can just sink into the story and forget everything else around you.)

LuvEwan’s Recs (all of my recs are explicit)

Faithless by Maygra: Take the film, stop at the 'scene' and turn left...Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are taken prisoner by Darth Maul and must escape more than his prisonship. From that point forward it's all A/U (more or less.) 

I re-read this story several times a year. The lyrical style, the strength of the writing, the characterization, Qui-Gon’s patience and tenderness, Obi-Wan’s bravery in the face of unfathomable trauma. There’s also a shorter sequel, Faith. (Triggers for rape)

L’Histoire d’Obi (The Story of Obi) by Lilith Sedai: Obi-Wan neglects to pay careful attention to a briefing, agrees to accept an unusual mission assignment, and lets himself and Qui-Gon in for more trouble than either of them bargained for.    

This might be the fic that shattered my innocence as a sheltered young adult. So it always holds a special place in my heart. Obi-Wan must go undercover as Qui-Gon’s pleasure slave. Things get INTENSE. I’ve got whole passages of this one memorized. So well-written. (Triggers for dubious consent and depictions of sexual slavery)

Apprentice to Journeyman by Susan Smithson: What is it, really, to live and grow as a Jedi? What is it, really, to learn over the course of years what love is? 

This is a story that takes its time developing the main characters as the years pass and their relationship evolves as Obi-Wan matures. Obi-Wan will break your heart just a little---he is ever-dedicated, ever-sure of his love for his Master. And Qui-Gon is beautifully characterized. A very special story, to be read and re-read.

Predicaments Beyond Our Control by Gloriana: A Jedi is trapped in a cellar, contemplating what will happen to him in a very few minutes. 

This is an AU where Qui-Gon is not a Jedi, but rather of a man with a particular set of...skills. Obi-Wan seeks out those skills and gets even more than he was expecting. Qui-Gon is *so* good and the situation is *so* hot. (This story is extremely explicit, with elements of pain and humiliation). There is an excellent sequel, A Distant Refuge by WriteStuff, that picks up some years later.

Surfacing: At First by Yahtzee: Obi-Wan thinks his love for Qui-Gon is unrequited. When he discovers otherwise, he thinks that all is resolved   between them -- but he's wrong once again. 

First of a five part series, lucky for us. There is a scene in this story that is branded in my mind forever. Who says hand jobs aren’t sexy? (Series ranges from explicit to pg-13)

[rorykillmore]

can you rank (loosely if u don't want to play exact favorites) villanelle's most important or influential denny relationships?

i’m just putting them roughly in the order she met/reunited with them on denny, for the record. and in case anyone was thinking of coming for me, this is just what i reckon are the most INFLUENTIAL, good and bad, not a complete list of her friends or family or important interactions

okay and this is just going underneath a cut because it got long as fuck

fox is villanelle’s best friend, her -- if we lived in the, like, idk, homestuck universe (not to immediately make this cursed.) where you can have a romantic soulmate AND a platonic soulmate, he’s her platonic soulmate. and in terms of influence, i want to emphasize how much of villanelle’s denny arc, like... could not have been possible without fox. fox was the first person who was ever kind to her despite having absolutely no reason to be, and he was also the person who challenged her in such an important way at such an important time. during the whole GRACE plot, HE came back for her, and HE’S the one who essentially said “look, you have a choice. you’re not just a tool for this organization. one way or another, you need to make a choice.” which. again. a huge first in her life!

i’m trying to keep these short and sweet since i have so many to talk about, but genuinely like... i cannot understate fox’s importance as a part of villanelle’s life. and for her to even be able to have a best friend, to begin with? that’s such a like, idk. cornerstone of things Normal People Get To Have, and every day i write her i am so so happy she found him. from an ooc perspective, they’ve like, been to hell and back together also, and there’s a fierce kind of joy as writer when you look at a relationship that’s over a year old and has evolved so much over that time and get to go “we made this together!!!”

konstantin meanwhile is... well, he’s the healthiest parental figure villanelle’s ever had. which. really isn’t a high bar! their relationship has always been so tempestuous because it is built on konstantin’s manipulation of villanelle, both to use her for his own gain and... y’know, for his own survival, being able to manage her as long as he did! but he also genuinely loves her, and has gone out of his way on a number of occasions to protect her or help her or take care of her whereas it’s quite likely that most of the twelve’s handlers... just wouldn’t give a shit! i highly doubt that the twelve are the kind of organization where you’re supposed to get actually attached to your agent. and for villanelle, konstantin’s affection for her makes things more confusing, because it’s hard for her to ever draw the line between what’s sincere affection and what’s manipulation. post-canon update, she kind of now aggressively thinks he’s full of shit and is rejecting him for her own well-being which i think! is an important boundary for villanelle to be able to learn to set for herself! and you and i have spoken about how we don’t want to reconcile that immediately, but i also think... she would very much miss him and that it would be very, very strange for her to be without him when she’s ALWAYS had him to fall back on on denny, and indeed in most of her adult life in general. she needs to learn to stand without him, but at the same time.... i’m super interested to see how they approach each other now from this more honest, fractured place.

and then we have ruby , which. i still think ruby and villanelle are one of the most delightfully unexpected panfandom dynamics i’ve ever helped form PERIOD. and it’s interesting because hunter and i have always talked about how you would never expect these two characters to connect on the surface -- and you wouldn’t! but in exploring the ways they’re different, we’ve also found these really jarring similarities between them, too? and i think in a way, they’ve kind of bled into each other on top of that. villanelle’s relationship with ruby is like, INCREDIBLY formative to her learning empathy and just how to... nurture a relationship and be there for other people, but she has also become someone who ruby looks up to, and i think she’s contributed to maybe. Darkening ruby a bit, in that way.  

i also think of all the girls, ruby is the one who villanelle has the most explicitly maternal relationship with. weiss too, but i’ll get into why i think that works a bit differently in weiss’ section. but anyway, WHEN you have that kind of relationship with someone, at least when you’re approaching it with earnesty and a determination to do it Right, it challenges you with a certain kind of responsibility that i think has been essential to villanelle’s development too. not only has it taught villanelle how you love someone in a comparatively selfless way from what she’s used to, but requires from her a certain kind of self-awareness and moral awareness (if she doesn’t care about doing the right thing In General, she cares about doing right by ruby) that has allowed her to mature a bit on denny. so yeah, ABSOLUTELY one of of villanelle’s most influential dynamics. 

she’s obviously also very close with weiss, and i would also call her feelings for weiss maternal, but compared to ruby/villanelle i think weiss and villanelle’s relationship tends to take on a more Sisterly overtone on the surface. and i think that’s maybe because weiss HAS a sister who is basically villanelle’s age, who is her other maternal figure, so for weiss that’s more just how these kinds of feelings tend to Manifest. idk. you know, not to speak for jay, that’s just my take on it. but while weiss and villanelle have never really clashed the way ruby and villanelle have and then had to work through resolving that, i think in a way weiss just holds villanelle more accountable on a more day to day basis? they’re always quite honest with each other, weiss has always been quick to call her out, and like -- post-graceplot, for instance, weiss was the one who was like “i believe you didn’t mean to hurt us but you still need to find a way to make this right.”

and not that weiss did this deliberately, but she’s also the person who REALLY tested the person villanelle has become on denny and how... committed she is to loving the people she loves, via everything that went down during the hunger games. the way villanelle feels about the sacrifice she made is still really complicated -- it’s not something she feels comfortable being commended for, but it’s also not something she regrets. she’s not one to put selfless sacrifice on a pedestal, especially not in a horrible situation like that where neither of them should have had to to begin with, but a part of her... does find a deep sense of relief in finding this validation that her love for weiss - and all the girls, really - is real, and that she proved it to herself. after the games, i think maybe villanelle can be open with weiss in a way that she can’t entirely be with the rest of the girls. it’s just one of those things where if you go through something like that together, the bond it forges is quite unique.

i wavered on whether to include blake because villanelle didn’t do quite as much active development with her or yang, but i’m throwing blake in here for a few reasons.  1) post-graceplot when villanelle was kind of avoiding everyone, blake was the person who was able to approach that from the most empathetic point of view since she had just recently been on a “running away from everyone” arc herself, and i think that ultimately helped villanelle a lot in easing into wanting to make things right.

2) blake’s death during the games, and her not coming back afterwards, was a HUGE driving factor in how desperately angry villanelle became after the fact. it’s also maybe the most raw experience she’d had with grief up to that point, and it wasn’t something she was able to reconcile. that loss really helped to fuel her rage and also taught villanelle that even when you do your best to love someone else, things can still go wrong and you can still lose them, and that... wasn’t an easy thing for her to come to terms with.

and 3) she promised to fuck up adam for her if he ever showed up which, i think, should be the driving goal of the rest of villanelle’s life, 

sun and villanelle aka the single greatest example of “what if we jokingly shipped this oh god oh no wait i’m invested.” look they were always meant to be temporary but they were so goddamn sweet! while they lasted! i think planning temporary ships can give characters MOUNTAINS of development that endgame ships just can’t give you in the same way (not to say there’s not plenty of development that comes from endgame ships; i’m just saying there’s. a special kind of development that comes specifically from being brave enough to approach ending things with finality.) in villanelle’s case, that kind of stable, sweet relationship where she was tempering so much of herself deliberately could have never lasted, but it was good for her to get to experience that for a little while regardless? while i don’t think she was in love with sun, she did learn to just love him, and i think the clarity and simplicity sun approaches people in general with was something villanelle really benefited (and still benefits) from. most of all, it was significant for her to be able to see and understand that she wasn’t going to be able to be present and stable in that relationship in the way that sun deserved, and to make the decision to let him go. even if she was never OBSESSIVE about sun, villanelle still used to be a pretty selfish person who didn’t see any reason to let go of things if she enjoyed them, so i think. it can’t be underestimated, what sun taught her about love. 

emerald and villanelle have come SUCH a long way. first they were friends, then they were very bitter enemies, now they’re friends again approaching even a familial fondness. when villanelle was angry at emerald, it was never so much morally based as it was specifically based in the way emerald had hurt ruby, and penny, and had lied to villanelle herself. and although they started to resolve that after em didn’t take the chance to take advantage of villanelle during the memory glitch, i really think it was all the cinder stuff that allowed them to become close again. there are a lot of parallels between emerald and villanelle: both of them have coped by refusing to acknowledge the depths they’d sunken into over their heads with their respective organizations, both of them have been stuck in incredibly fucked up situations with older women. i think when villanelle acknowledges what emerald’s been through and is able to recognize that and feel compassion for her, she’s in a way learning to feel compassion for herself, and that’s very significant. i’d love to see how they evolve after villanelle’s canon update because i think now she’ll even have. More feelings about that. and i also think on some subconscious level as the new fall maiden she feels some kind of obligation to em, to be better than cinder was.

eve is, of course, a given on a list like this. she is such a powerful - the most powerful, in fact - influence on villanelle in any universe, and i think a lot about that in the context of villanelle having so many other people in her life now who she loves and who love her. as we’ve kind of seen on at least one occasion, if villanelle had to choose between eve and everything and everyone else she has... she would always choose eve. which isn’t something i’m trying to paint as sweepingly romantic (i love villaneve and i love how disastrous they are around one another, but i can still admit i’d be concerned for someone who would choose their partner over EVERY OTHER LOVED ONE THEY HAVE COMBINED,) but then again, it’s not even necessarily only for romantic reasons. it’s because eve is someone and something villanelle... craves, needs, finds time and time again that she simply cannot live without.

and them trying to make a relationship with one another work on denny has really provided its own unique set of challenges that’ve had an impact on both of them. eve and villanelle are deeply intrinsically connected, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to peaceful coexistence. any semblance of that, i think, is something that they’re always going to have fight for durations of, because their instinct is so much to consume one another instead! while its effect on villanelle of course can’t be described as wholly healthy - like i just mentioned above, she can be pushed into that place where she just sabotages everything else in her life for eve even still - that isn’t to say that there aren’t things about eve that haven’t changed villanelle for the better too! because to even have a romantic relationship with eve for an extended period of time like she has, villanelle has had to get better at certain things. she’s had to access a place of vulnerability and willingness to communicate that she hasn’t with anyone else, she’s had to accept eve’s own agency and individuality separate from their relationship (which is something she did on denny even before season 3 had her do it in canon!), she’s even had to do things like confront what her, say, killing bill actually meant and how it affected and continues to affect eve. it’s an absolutely explosive and constantly unstable dynamic, but there is of course GENUINE love between the two of them, and i really love all the ways in which villanelle’s been challenged to fight for that.

carolyn bears a mention because she’s undoubtedly been hugely influential  in the choices villanelle has made (and the ones which have been denied to her), especially lately. i don’t think villanelle ever particularly underestimated carolyn, but i think she was much too proud and too cocky to have imagined she’d have ever ended up under carolyn’s thumb the way she did. carolyn forced villanelle into the RID, and that was a situation villanelle was pretty complacent in for a while if only because it generally worked out for her. it took being backed into a corner to realize exactly how fucked she was, and interestingly enough i think that started to open villanelle’s eyes to the reality that she keeps ending up trapped by these higher powers, which is something that her canon update is going to heavily heavily emphasize. so. yeah, although while canon villanelle is mostly ambivalent to carolyn, denny villanelle absolutely HATES her. which. heh. may not end well. for at least one of them.

natasha is such a significant relationship for villanelle because i think, even with all the time she’s spent on denny and all the people she’s met? villanelle does not know... many people who are like her. most of her friends who know she’s an assassin either shy away from that part of her, or acknowledge it without really understanding what it means or what villanelle’s relationship is with killing and her own inner darkness. but natasha is such a PARALLEL to villanelle in so many ways, she was shaped into a weapon and told it’s the thing that defines her too, and even though she got out, she still has to grapple with that part of herself every single day. villanelle and natasha have their differences, sure, their variations in character and how their individual stories play out, but they also share a very specific understanding with one another that i don’t think either of them can really get anywhere else at the moment. and that’s a huge part of why nat has been such a significant influence on villanelle. when nat shows villanelle compassion, it comes from a deep, unfiltered place of empathy, something that could never be mistaken as Pity because they both understand what an insult that would be. when nat shows kindness and affection towards villanelle, it always seems to come from a place of “i understand the place you’re in completely, and you deserve to be treated like a human being anyway” which i think is so tragically ironic considering the self-loathing nat still carries around with her.

and i think there’s a part of villanelle that... while on denny she’s never expressed outward interest in completely changing her lifestyle or anything like that, i think there’s a part of her that looks at nat and admires how far she’s dug herself out of the hole she was in and, in some small quiet way, hopes to be like her someday.

pyrrha is pretty unique among the ruby girls in that like, rather than bonding with her gradually, villanelle kind of latched onto her immediately in a very “THIS IS TEAM RWBY’S DEAD LOVED ONE I MUST PROTECT HER” sort of way. which is interesting in its own way, because villanelle is rarely that protective of other people, and i think it goes beyond the physical (because she knows pyrrha can take care of herself) and more into the emotional. which villanelle does not especially consider herself well-equipped to handle, but hey, she’s gotta make sure pyrrha values herself beyond just what she can give or sacrifice to others!!!

on the subject, in terms of influence i have to mention that pyrrha gave her life for villanelle during the games, which is something that no one has ever done for her before, and an event which directly compelled villanelle to do the same for weiss. i don’t think villanelle knows how to even... address that, really, and can’t fully process the scope of it even though she made a similar decision in the end. in simplified terms, she feels like she owes pyrrha a debt, and one she hasn’t yet fathomed a way to repay.

elizabeth really just started out as a minor infatuation, a lil crush like villanelle gets on any pretty woman who intrigues her for more than 5 minutes. her flirtations with elizabeth were all in line with that, and i don’t think villanelle really realized how much she was encouraging elizabeth’s feelings for an attachment to her, particularly because her own feelings were not particularly intense for the first stretch of their friendship! in a way, villanelle’s relationship with elizabeth is a good examination and challenge of something i haven’t really done before with villanelle, which is that, like. it’s not her fault that she doesn’t bond or attach the way other people do (or at least, is much slower to), but she also has virtually no self-awareness of the way she engages and sometimes leads people on as a result. a lot could have been averted if she’d just... had the sense to set boundaries or had found a way to be more honest about the person she is.

but a lot’s happened since then, and now villanelle has to contend with the fact that she DOES love elizabeth, but at a time when their relationship has already just become too strained and impossible for the time being. additionally, villanelle really has no reference at all for being IN love with someone (or approaching that, anyway) in a way that’s non-obsessive and more quiet and gradual and just... very different from the way she loves eve, so she has a real hard time distinguishing this grey area between platonic and romantic feelings. because villanelle is still very literal in the interpretation of her emotions, so her reference for being in love with someone is “eve”, and she doesn’t know how to recognize anything on such a different part of the spectrum (particularly because villanelle is probably physically attracted to like, many of her platonic adult friends,)!  SO elizabeth and villanelle’s relationship is very influential in the sense that it really pushes villanelle into exploring parts of herself and emotional experiences that she hasn’t really yet.

do i need to put cinder here? she wasn’t in villanelle’s life for very long, but technically she is the reason villanelle has maiden powers, which changed her life entirely, so,

and then i’ll also toss in jigsaw (and technically also handsome jack), who will be INCREDIBLY pleased to know that his trap had a lasting effect one way or the other. don’t get me wrong, she was pissed as hell about it and would go on the WARPATH if she ever caught so much as a whiff of their involvement, but i mean. aside from the fact that lasting trauma definitely counts as an influence, i think it is one of the events that definitely brought villanelle closer to and more attached to eve, if perhaps in a. somewhat codependent and overprotective way. still can’t believe they caught villanelle saying she would give up everything else in her life and die for her gf ON TAPE,

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of Marvel: Week of January 29th, 2020

Best of this Week: Conan the Barbarian #12 - Jason Aaron, Mahmud Asrar, Matthew Wilson and Travis Lanham

“He will tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.” - The Nemedian Chronicles.

It’s been quite some time since we’ve done a Conan review and this one took a long time to come out, but it was well worth the wait. After eleven absolutely fantastic issues of sword and sorcery, blood and sex, monsters and men, we’ve reached the end of the “Death of Conan” arc and BOY was it satisfying. Jason Aaron, Mahmud Asrar, Matthew Wilson and Travis Lanham absolutely pay off this amazing story, wrap it up in a nice neat bow for the next creative team and even prepare for the next great story.

Razza and Zazella, the children of the Crimson Witch, have been following Conan since the day he killed their mother, waiting for the perfect time to kill him to resurrect their God, Razazel. Throughout his many years of adventuring, Conan has killed and slaughtered and escaped death more times than any man in the history of the Hyborian Age could ever claim and this has strengthened the potency of his blood for his sacrifice. The tenth issue saw the kids bring Conan back to the Temple of Razazel after near fatal injuries and offering his blood to the Old God.

This issue begins with a short flashback to Conan actually saving the twins years before they meet again. Shortly before bandits try to press gang them onto a ship, Conan swoops in and makes short work of the brigands, gaining the ire of Razza in the process. The Kids are “grateful” for his intervention before walking away, but this is a grave insult to them considering their hatred towards the Cimmerian and the fact that he murdered their mother. This is made even worse by the fact that the kids made a vow to not gloat or talk at the altar when they kill him, but they do just that without confirming his death later on.

When we finally get into the swing of things Asrar, Wilson and Lanham spare no expense when giving readers the action they’ve been waiting for. Asrar shows Conan’s speed and strength as he uses a small boulder to knock Zazella’s sharp, jagged teeth out of her mouth with the rock blurring as he swings it down and Razza looks on in shock. Wilson gives the background and Razazel’s blood roots life through vibrant reds, almost as if to make the reader feel them pumping with evil. Lanham sells Conan’s yell of anger as he strikes with a hearty “RRRRGGH!” word bubble and emphasizing Zazella’s words of fear and disbelief.

After that amazing splash page, Conan rips the daggers out of his chest and faces off against the now monstrous children and the mostly revived Razazel. The fight is dynamic with Conan doing his best to avoid the many mouthed horror that is Razazel. The otherworldly demon could be absolutely horrifying for those with trypophobia as his many mouths look like a cluster of holes, but Wilson gives him a deadlier, darker red to make him amongst the background. Conan, as always, isn’t afraid of the monster and gives him hell throughout the fight.

Conan isn’t just a man, he is an extraordinary man. As stated in a previous review, Conan has fought lesser demons from the depths of hell, beasts of all kinds and monsters that dwarfed him by GREAT margins. He has slain them all and even spat in the face of his own God, Crom at the precipice of death. So Razazel is just another walk in the park for the King of Aquilonia. He thinks nothing of slicing at the fingers of the Old God and even when he’s grabbed and the many mouths are biting and gnawing at him, he just slices at the veins on the walls.

Of course, even Conan still falls prey to the numbers game and with grievous injuries, the Twins begin to overpower him after a good fight. Asrar frames their fight with a fleeting sense of hope as the shot pulls away with each successive panel and more blood is ripped from Conan. Wilson emphasizes this with the backgrounds seemingly getting more red as Conan’s death nears and Lanham excellently places Aaron’s narration of the importance of Conan’s blood out of the way of the action, but still easily readable as you navigate the panels.

And the importance of Conan’s blood cannot be understated as it plays a vital role in the outcome of this battle. One of the better aspects of Aaron’s run thus far is that it has built on Robert E. Howard’s mythos of the character and his amazing feats, but he’s also added something more unexpected in the form of...a legacy, a son: Conn or Conan II. In one splash page, Aaron and Asrar turn the tables as we’re greeted with this child/teenager that’s the spitting image of his father, sword in hand and highlighted amongst his flanking soldiers as they all stare down the monstrous children and their King wounded on the ground.

Now, of course there may be some complaints that Conan having a child ruins his nomadic and loner image, but I argue that this adds a new depth to the character. We’ve seen how fatherhood adds a new layer in characters like Superman and Kratos, improving their stories for the better, so I’m fully on board with it. We’ve already had hundreds of stories of Conan being alone with his throne so exploring a newfound relationship with his boy, teaching him how to be a strong Cimmerian, is something that I didn’t know I wanted until I’d gotten a taste.

Asrar and Wilson continue to sell the horror of things as Conan’s Black Dragon Knights take the fight to the Twins and Razazel. Razza and Zazella make pretty short work of a few of them; Ripping them apart, crushing their heads and even tossing one of them into one of the mouths of Razazel’s forearm in a gruesome display. As they viciously kill and maim Conan’s men, Razza takes pride in his sister and their “soon to come” victory until Conan brutally decapitates him in the middle of his speech. Much like their mother, he survives this and hilarious asks Zazella to throw his head at Conan.

The great Warrior King wastes no time and dispatches Zazella as well, tossing them both into the hole. Conn instructs the soldiers to cut the veins, but Razazel is still hanging on. So Conan does what he does best and leaps into danger. Asrar makes him look like a madman with anger in his eyes, two gaping chest wounds where the kids stabbed him, and his sword in hand about to cut the vein that Razazel is hanging from. Victory is finally at hand when we see Razza, Zazella and Razazel falling into the abyss, defeated by the blood of Conan.

I have to say that there was not a single bad issue in this entire run and this one itself as beyond spectacular. One of the main things that I love about Conan is the simplicity of the character and how anyone can write him, but it takes a REALLY GOOD writer to make you care about him. Throughout the entirety of this series, Jason Aaron held the swinging axe over Conan’s head, dangling it closer and closer with each subsequent issue and victory. At points, I actually thought Aaron might actually do it and end the life of Conan, but deep down we all knew that Conan would emerge victorious.

Mahmud Asrar and Matthew Wilson worked amazingly together on the many issues that they had, capturing the feel of the Hyborian Age with intensity in fights, strong colors and solid inks throughout. I thought Marvel would tone down the violence of the character, but their art and the other artists throughout this book never shied away from the sheer brutality that Conan was capable of. They made sure that this felt like a genuine Conan experience like Dark Horse did during their tenure with the character and much like Marvel did in the 80s. Conan never looked weak and even in defeat he was still a terrifyingly powerful sight to behold.

All in all, I’m excited for more Conan stuff after this. Jim Zub and Roge Antonio take ver the main Conan series after this issue and both of them are very good with writing and art, but Aaron is continuing his story with a King Conan book later this year. Not only that, we’ve got Battle for the Serpent Crown to look forward to, more Savage Avengers and a Dark Agnes miniseries on the way… 2020 is looking like a good year for Conan.

[bluemoonpunch]

I wanted to make this post to clear up some things that some of you very passionate taekook and jikook shippers who were upset because one of the asks I responded to made it seem like I was favoring/bashing jikook/taekook — somehow both sides managed to take it badly.

I wanted to apologize to anyone who thought that I was bashing Jimin or trying to portray Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship in a bad light. That really wasn’t my intention, but I did realize that with the way I answered that post anyone who had not read the Jimin and Jungkook relationship reading, Jimin’s Elemental Alignment reading, or any of the group readings it would be difficult, without that context, to catch my point. That was my fault. Honestly, not that many people come onto the blog or find my posts without having already read other readings which is why I tend to answer them as though people already know what I am talking about.

Just to clear things up, I don’t hate Jimin and I sure as fuck do not align myself with people that hate him purely because they are “supporters” of an opposing ship, or hate him for any reason at all really. As a grown adult, I am well past that stage in my life where I find jollies or even the slightest bit of use in hating people, especially people I don’t know personally. I’m beyond that and I encourage people that peruse my blog to also stay beyond that quite often.

I am not an “anti-jikook” shipper or supporter/opposer or whatever. I like all ships. Literally, since the dawn of time (2007) I’ve always been one of those people that liked all the ships in any fandom I’ve been a part of just because I’ve always liked the variations of connections that people seem to pick up on. I am not, however, one of those people that feels the need to show “support” for potentially closeted romantic couples by starting ship wars, constantly trying to “prove” that they are gay, or harassing other people who don’t have the same beliefs/opinions about those relationships between those people. I’m just not.

I have said since the very beginning of this blog that any information I find that I consider to be extremely personal, such as relationship status, sexual orientation, details on mental health, family matters and so on I will not include them in the reading or answer any asks about it directly where things cannot remain vague or completely anonymous. The only time I share that information is if it is already public knowledge, which most of the time, it isn’t.

For the people who think that I am trying to label Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship as toxic, I definitely am not. They have one of the strongest relationships in the group and I’ve said that many times. Where the “toxic” statement came from was the Jikook relationship reading where halfway through it I give an “intermission” to explain that I made a comment while in the midst of the reading saying that their relationship seemed toxic because of how their ENERGY mixed between them. This is that bit from that reading:

“In terms of dynamic, in the energetic sense, Jungkook does seem more submissive because his energy itself seems very easily manipulated or molded. I don’t know if that’s how he is with everyone, or if it’s just with Jimin, I think it might be, but I can’t be too sure.

“[INTERMISSION] So, right at this point I had some sort of fucking energetic overload from Kook. What had happened was, I was just edging in a little bit deeper into Kook’s side of things because the energy did seem off and I was actually trying to see if there was energy manipulation happening here and I even made the comment in my head that their relationship seemed borderline toxic, and that’s when I got fucking slammed. Literally, everything fucking flipped. It was a huge massive FLIP and I got dizzy, I goosebumps in waves all over, I had that static feeling in my fingers, I couldn’t breathe, and then I got this sharp fucking pain in my ear for a split second (that actually happens a lot when I channel for long periods of time, along with migraines), and then my ears were just ringing for two or three minutes.

I had to have me a fucking moment after that shit. Had to do me some breathing exercises, had to look out the window for a bit because FUCK that.

But yeah, Mr. Jeon don’t like his personal energy being tapped past the line of projection. That was my bad, sincerest apologies. Like, genuinely, I did cross a line there and I totally deserved to have my fucking brain melted. Not a problem. Lesson learned. Tread lightly around Kook.

But just to clarify for anyone concerned, there is nothing abusive between Jimin and Jungkook.  I’m sure none of you thought that, but just in case that was what it seemed like, no need to worry. They just have a very odd balance that doesn’t make a lot of sense. It might make sense to them on one of two levels, but it’s just a messy picture for an outsider such as myself.”

That post is here.

I referenced that bit in the answer to that ask and, like I said, without prior knowledge of this bit in that post it would seem like I was literally saying that they have a toxic relationship. That is not the case at all. They’re a huge support system for each other and it does go both ways, without a doubt. In that reading I talked about their “layered” connection — that’s also something to keep in mind.

One of the other things that was taken a bit out of context was when I said that Taehyung and Kook’s relationship is very different than Jimin and Kook’s relationship. It is, but I didn’t mean that in a way where I’m trying to say that one is #REAL and the other is #FAKE. I, again, was talking about their energetic and soul connections. The vibe of those relationships are very different, but they are equal. I talked about it in an ask somewhere about how those two ships are the most prominent because of how the three of them link up with each other energetically. They are equal but different. The dynamic is different.

I really need people to understand that when I talk about people I am usually reading, I am channeling. I am always talking in terms of conscious, subconscious, unconscious, energetic, spirit, and soul connection. I touch on everything, not just the what we get at face-value. That is the point of these readings, it is why I started this blog. I wanted to open people’s mind to consider a broader view of the people they look up to. I did not start this blog to “validate” or “invalidate” ships — that is not my business and that is not my job. 

Apparently, as people love to point out to me, there are plenty of blogs out there that will gladly tell you all about the personal lives of the guys down to the shade of red that their asshole is, but I gotta say, people who so willingly give out personal information have no moral code and no ethics that could keep them shoving shit down your throat for some likes and follows. Just saying.

I connect with Guides and energy cores and guess what, Guides (especially BTS’s Guides) do not hand out personal information about the souls they guide because it is beneath them to do so. It doesn’t matter therefore it is not shared. I, personally, just don’t like to do shit that could hurt someone. I really do not go into these readings with the intention of exposing people or trying to paint people in a bad light. I just want people to expand their view past what is shown and past the image that they have painted of the person I am reading. Plus, I just enjoy doing celebrity readings in general.

If you are new, I do encourage you to read through the BTS readings I’ve done as well as read through this to see what we’ve done with the BTS Soul Map and Soul Body healing as well.

Again, I am sorry to anyone who did interpret what I said as me hating on Jimin or trying to favor a ship or put a ship down. That was really not my intention, but I do see how it got a bit lost in translation and that’s my fault. I will try to be a bit more careful with how I answer questions and I will try to provide more context (links to posts, excerpts, screen caps) when I answer things from now on.

For those of you that are doing a bit more than sending me asks and PMs with questions or concerns, I ask that you chill the fuck out. This blog has 200 followers and my posts get no more than 20 notes. I’m not a big deal, these readings aren’t a big deal, they are simply something I enjoy doing and I make them for people who enjoy reading them and connect to them. I use this blog to fulfill my purpose and to help people grow and expand on their own through personal readings and group energy/meditation work. I will continue to live and breathe, and I will continue to post readings because it is something that I enjoy doing. Perhaps you should also find something you enjoy doing so that you’re not online so much getting angry over things that don’t affect you in even the slightest way possible. I have plenty of meditation recommendations for you, plus energy cleansing how-to’s which I feel like you might need desperately. >.>

If you don’t like me, my blog, or my work you do not have to be here. You can block me and you can blacklist my blog and then my posts won’t show up for you at all. It’s as simple as that. Again, I don’t think most of the people that read these readings look at them as anything more than entertainment, honestly, so there’s no reason to get all bent out of shape over posts that get 10 - 20 likes from people who don’t really pay any mind to what’s being said. I’m aware that a lot of shippers look to some of these posts in hopes of finding validation for their personal perceptions and views but that’s not what you’re going to get here.

If you have any more questions or concerns about anything that I didn’t touch on please PM me. I would prefer that to sending an ask that way we can have a back and forth conversation in real time and I don’t have to unload a bunch of things into my blog and then we can handle one topic at a time and understand each other better as well.