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puckpocketed · 5 months ago

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good morning puckpocketed it is @wehaveagathering from my main blog! I was wondering (and if you have already talked about this link me!) what your feelings are on the sharks upcoming offseason, who you're hoping for them to draft, who you're excited to see play either in their nhl or ahl roster, anything! :]

first of all. hello wehaveagathering dot tumblr my sour gummy candy my bespoke watchface my press-on nails....! thank you so much for dropping by <33 hearing from you is like oughh hello microcelebrity who decided i was cool... !!!! ok. deep inhale. I present to you:

puckpocketeds sharks offseason roundup

I am of two minds with Sharks hockey:

Nothing will ever go as I expect/predict because Mike Grier works in mysterious ways (Hertl trade was a wild day) and given I am following the San Jose Sharks ...we are here for a laff first and foremost. At least until we're competitive again. No point in thinking too hard because it ain't that serious and i have 0 control over what happens <3

On the other hand . kljsdalkjsdkl I am reading Elite Prospects' draft guide like the morning paper and absorbing massive amounts of data about my little guys and listening to podcasts and also following juniors games (you may have seen my very regular and hinged Memorial Cup Posting) and, yes, I even watched college hockey . I am unofficially the prospects slide maker for the Sharks Primer that I haven't opened in a week.

You may have asked the one person on tumblr who can give you an unskippable cutscene i hope ur ready for an unskippable cutscene !

General Off-season stuff/contracts

i am being fed off the scraps of Henry Thrun + Devin Cooley interviews in scf post-game shows and stalking all of our beat reporters. i have all of them with notifications ON and they keep doing really funny stuff like suggesting Draisaitl coming to the sharks. also . wekky and keebs are hanging out with Alex Holtz this summer and it is THEE best thing ever. matching slides for you in these trying times? feeling very deprived of sharks hockey but sustaining myself by having little breakdowns about it with friends :3

Couture is the biggest question of the off-season to me. The plan rn is that he will be ready to play by opening night, if all goes well during his rehab. He's our captain, the team looked visibly improved when he was on the ice for the gorgeous 6 game stretch that he played with us last season (Coochie era you will always be famous), and honestly I think his contribution to morale is more valuable than anything else he brings to the ice. There's no chance he gets moved right now given his contract and health, but there's a chance he never plays another NHL game... his health and readiness to play determines who the Sharks target for acquisitions and what our team looks like down the middle (where our two biggest prospects, who are both centers, will end up). so much hinges on whether or not Cooch is healthy!! but at this point I'm just rooting for his long-term health no matter what happens with the team !!

To preface any contract talk; the vibe about Mike Grier is he’s wary of giving out long term stuff in light of his predecessor leaving behind the husk of Marc-Edouard Vlasic (said with deep affection) and several other nearly immovable contracts. pundits don't really see him giving anyone term unless they’re Confirmed Core Players and i agree! other than that... i don't have serious takes or predictions about term/dollar amounts. HOPES and DREAMS and PSYCHEDELIC VISIONS, on the other hand...

We're gonna lose some of our guys to free agency because they're. um. untradeable and not very good </3 (Hoffman, Labanc, Barabanov <- this one is a special case, Barbie's deal fell through because the Hertl trade happened and we're using our last retention slot on him) and whilst I do love the ongoing Bit of uncle Mike and sweet cousin Kevin, this frees us up to go looking for some guys who can mentor our young core!! (I hope Labanc gets a second chance somewhere and shows everyone that the sharks monumentally fumbled the bag on yet another ex wife !!)

The doors are open for free agency acquisitions... Everyone's throwing around big names but I think they're forgetting the fact that we actually gotta convince them to come to San Jose LMAO. cost of living + basement team unlikely to be serious about a cup run for at least another 4-5 years = not the most appealing place to go. We have seen speculation about FAs ranging from Stamkos to Marner lmaoooooo and i'll be honest I don't want to add to all that. I just hope whatever old man we staple to our youth he's fun and NOT a criminal !

For our other UFAs:

I'd like to see us re-sign Justin Bailey because he worked really hard for us down the stretch. we poached him from the cuda early on because all of our forwards were exploding and never gave him back even when everyone started getting healthy again! Maybe he can go help our cuda not flop <333

Jacob MacDonald holds a very special place in my heart because we like making multi-class jokes (he was forced to play forward for a big chunk of his time w the sharks even though hes a d-man LMAO) . I find his work ethic charming <3 he's done everything they've asked of him, and he's honestly done it Not Terribly. I would LIKE for the sharks to offer him a place here due to sentiment and i sort of think he's a sleeper depth pick…. but it seems less and less likely given that we’re going to market for d-men and we’ll have more forwards healthy next season.

Ryan Carpenter is another cuda acquisition we never gave back and is our beautiful returned shark son <33 he was a steady 4th line center throughout the Horrors. however, we were trying out one of our younger guys in that position (hello jack studnicka!!) towards the end of the season and im really wondering if we'll see him up with the sharks again. He's a great AHL player and I see him helping the cuda become competitive if we bring him back!

Devin Cooley my beloved. our junior shark. our silly rabbit. some context: the sharks org is doing something very strange and deeply funny with their goalie situation. we have like 6 of them and i genuinely have no clue where this is going. Optimistically, Cooley gets a something thrown at him because he's shown the ability to grow under the limited tutelage of our Very Good Goalie Coach Thomas Speer + he's a great feel-good story !! less optimistically... he gets traded on the draft floor because we can't have shit in san jose (KNOCKING ON TEN MILLIOB WOOD)

Our RFA sitch is a mixed bag:

Luke Kunin absolutely comes back. barring offer-we-can't-refuse type deals... they love him here. Is he GOOD? well no <3 analytics-wise, he is our worst performing forward and actively makes his lineys worse. but (and i imagine this is whats going on in sharks front office discussions) must a goonwag do silly things like "play hockey"?? can't he just get all snarly when our guys are pushed around? can't he play leg weight to our beloved prized prospects? teach them how to drive a line despite being hamstrung by the sloppiest turnovers ever? cant he just be sophia's less accomplished trophy husband...........???? also in his defence, he should never have been our 2nd line center. but everyone else exploded so !!! anyway I think he would flourish with fewer minutes and easier match ups on the 3rd/4th line. i want to see him hanging out in a depth position next season and goonwagging it up <3

I watched Thomas Bordeleau really work to solidify his place in the lineup towards the end of the season. I love his absolute determination to finish every game fighting. I am SO proud to call him a shark and he's become one of my favourite little guys <3 I knowww everyone knows him from the Narratives but EYE got to know him through his hockey and I am WRETCHEDLY endeared by it. He will stare down a 0-4 scoreline and keep playing hard no matter what, he has sprinted down the ice with seconds on the clock to make a play and ough ough oughhhhhghgh he is SO special to me okay !!!! okay. And I truly think that gmmg has to see that. They're trying to build culture here... something about being hard to play against, having will and size and skill.... Bordy doesn’t fit the Big Boys vision that Grier is open about chasing, but he does bring the attitude and work ethic… I want him to stay forever <3 next year is his breakout year MARK MY WORDS!!!!!

Henry Thrun was a bit up and down but honestly who on this accursed roster wasn't?? Some nights he was unironically our most effective d-man (as much as one can be on the 23-24 sharks) other nights he was competing in a flop contest with Pickles <3 i would like to see him get more pp minutes next season and work on being consistent, which I absolutely believe he can achieve. our beautiful draft dodger + harvard double major <3

Ty Emberson is a complete mystery to me. I've seen him play like 3 games. he's been very injured this season. I liked what I saw when he was on? Making his slides was SO hard ill be honest, there's so little out there about him. but i have a soft spot a mile wide for reliable stay at home d-men, i hope he gets a fair shot. also hes mackblack's bestie and nobody knows that and i need everybody to know that he has a special bond with his goalie like his defensemen forefathers . thats our defensive defenseman and his goalie okay . okau.

Calen Addison is . listen okay I love our little guy. let him say fuck!!! but he hasn't done well this year and this was sort of supposed to be his fresh start. what I want is that he stays on the sharks and turns things around and goes on to blast all his haters. I'm not very sure any of that will happen.

I can't be objective about Filip Zadina. I will not lie. I want him to succeed very badly but also I love our failwife dearly regardless... high draft pick who was touted as a goal scorer... can't let go of that identity... every coach hes ever had psychoanalyses him and is a leeetle obsessed with nursing him back to health like a sickly baby bird <3. gmmg give him 8x8 ! his place on this roster is very uncertain given that this was his 'prove it' year and it didn't go super well. i dread losing him. every day that ticks by where we don't hear about him re-signing leaves me less and less hope

Jack Studnicka compels me so much. We call him Dave . dont ask. He's in the process of shaking off his previous identity as a playmaking center and his anxieties/insecurities about uhhh having to fill the gaping hole in the Bruins' forward core left behind by a bunch of their veterans leaving. He's learning how to drive a checking/energy line and I feel a tenderness for him I can't describe... he's almost almost made it to the show and he will do whatever it takes to stay.

regarding certain trade rumours

There is once again trade buzz around Mario Ferraro.

...i think the rest of the league is under the impression he’s a top 4 calibre d-man. this is very funny and also i’m terrified that gmmg will trade him because of this. You truly don’t get a feel for how little any given team’s media pays attention to other teams - how little the national media pays attention to the western conference good GOD — until you follow the cali polycule.

if any disappointed Leafs fans are reading this after it was suggested they aren't looking to acquire him anymore . my brother in christ. Mario only eats those minutes because he’s got seniority here by default !!!! we simply do not have anyone else because they’re injured or they suck!!! i would go to war for our youtuber ,hes the greatest gamer and d-man in the entire league in my heart BUT i do have eyes and as the kids would say . he has improper crosshair placement and can't mulligan to play on curve </3

And for nuance…. perhaps there IS something to the fact that Mario was like .the only one who survived the 2019-2023 San Jose Rookie Woodchipper/Meatgrinder/Hydraulic press. idk. i wasn't there. He’s had a career high year this year (not that 21 points is that high asdljkasklj but. again. 23-24 sharks) so maybe he’s just waiting for the right conditions to break out, a team where he isn’t solely responsible for gluing the shambles together, and all the chatter about him being a prime trade target is true and this summer will be when his trade value is at its highest. it still doesn’t change his value to this team as a locker room personality and leader. He’s made zero statements about wanting to leave. the current regime does do Personality Hires and Intangibles (see Luke Kunin and i suppose now the Goodrow acquisition??), we can’t have our upcoming d-core thrown into the deep end without some mentorship and it certainly isn’t gonna come from Pickles — not that he can’t, i just believe in Marc-Edouard Vlasic’s right to be a bitch in peace! no one is untouchable but im 90% sure Ferraro stays.

THE DRAFT AND OUR PROSPECT SITUATION

The Sharks currently hold picks 1, 14, and 33. 1OA is spoken for <3 so 14 and 33 are the ones we care about here. (we have a bunch of later picks to play with as well — 42, 85, 116, 138, 143, and 194 if anyone was curious <3) And okay okay so,, Mike Grier was hired 2 days before the draft in 2022, which means 2023 was his first real draft year and this year will be his second. realistically, we simply do not have a lot of data for his drafting tendencies, nor will we know his 'hit' rate until years from now. our current pool, while thin, is looking... good? tentatively? the class of 2023 did very well. more on them later. so accounting for lack of data... i truly have NO idea whats going on except maybe we're leaning towards deepening our defensive prospect pool + throw in a goalie, and a slight preference for physicality and size but like thats every headass GM on the planet right now??? (as i type this out, ozzy weisblatt has been traded away for a someone over 6ft tall!! the mike grier big boy plan strikes again….)

so. i won't speak to who i think the sharks will draft but you will get to hear a very rough essay fragment i don’t think i’ll ever finish:

something i’ve been thinking about lately between reading all of these prospect draft profiles (and to an extent, making prospect slides for the sharks) is how few guys make it to the big show. these 17-18 year olds have dense paragraphs written about their puck handling and skating and hockey IQ — i enjoy the stylish ones that say stuff like “he’s the most creative forward in this year’s draft, he’ll dangle your best over a cliff” the most — but how many of them will pan out in the end? here, i could pull up the numbers. i don’t need to. we all know there are only so many nhl contracts to hand out, and only so many stalls in a locker room.

i’ve grown attached to a few names though their draft profiles. there are little threads of narrative you can catch from reading their game reports in chronological order. some of them visibly gain confidence month to month as they solidify their identity within the system and team they play on, some of them master board battles, some of them find their scoring touch. i am charmed by the interview fragments i’ve seen, their stupid answers to "what animal would you be?", the silly facts livetweeted by scouts at the combine. many of them come highly touted — the 2nd-12th project as almost certain NHLers. i’ve seen them shine in their juniors and ncaa matches. I feel like they must be destined for greatness.

Yet, i go back into the histories — a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, thirty years and beyond — and the histories tell me that no matter what was being said the day they got drafted, anything could happen. 7th overall buried in the press box. 123rd overall breaks a scoring record in his d+1 year. 29th overall carves out a regular spot on the first line and goes on to score 40 goals. 1st overall never scores more than 62 goals in the NHL. it's probably not smart of me to become invested in so many when, statistically, a whole lot of them will fail to live up to their projections. in the back of my heart, right behind all the inadvisable sentiment, lives a scream of frustration. it isn't fair that for the majority of these kids, the draft is as close to the nhl as they'll ever get. i hate that not everyone will get to reach for the stars. my heart will be broken when one or more of my favourites inevitably burns out of the league. and the real horror is knowing all this hasn't stopped me from becoming endeared.

my current draft favourites, no thoughts head empty if i could have any of these guys on the sharks:

Berkly Catton absolutely will fall to 14th overall in my HEART!!! this stupid league and its stupid preoccupation with tallgirls. doesn't matter that some of the best players hockey has ever seen were under 6ft tall <3 doesn't matter that high impact nhl players RIGHT NOW are hanging out around the 5'10 mark. Berkly Catton is elite stock by so many metrics except for his size (5'11, ~163lbs) and THAT will ensure he falls in the draft. and the dream is if he falls to 14th we snap him up and he comes to hang out in cali <3 i love his fish-eyed blank stare. he said he'd be a dolphin because they're slippery <3 and here's the short version of what I've read per his draft profile: he played on a bad team, with heavy minutes, being targeted by every opposing team as the only threat, and still doubled his output during his draft year. all of this while he worked hard in his own zone, dedicating himself to the more 'boring' aspects of the game. like he will hustle for a backcheck god BLESS. i love when skilled guys are defensively responsible SO MUCH. what little i've seen myself of his raw skill is incredible. magical hands maintained with speed. i also like how much he scans. i love being freaked out about a highlight, wondering how he knew where his teammates were, scrubbing the video back and seeing him scan the ice regularly. its beautiful. just like playing league of legends jungle . ahaha <3

if not Catton, then Andrew Basha at 14th, and if not then 33rd. Despite how high some draft boards have him, the reviews are mixed as hell due to the Spectre of Gavin McKenna and Cayden Lindstrom that hangs over him. It did not stop him from having an incredibly strong season in the WHL. fast, skilled, works hard. puck mover. in learning about hockey, I have come to love transition forwards SO much. Troy Terry was my favourite Duck to watch when he wasn't exploding <3 Controlled zone entries are soooo gifable to me. i got no clue if Basha will be available at 33 - a few are predicting he falls to the second round - or if the sharks would want him even then, but I would love to see him on the Sharks! if his speed and skill on breakouts can translate to the NHL it would be bitchin!!!!!! also, I have this idea in my head that he's already used to playing with elite talent and so wont be swallowed up by the huge shadows celebrini and smith will cast. maybe he can manage egos, maybe he's just really good at working around prodigies, maybe he's a prodigy himself, who knows!! I am compelled though!!

for d-men... Zayne Parekh. There are serious concerns scouts have with this guy's game. he is described by some as thee boom-or-bust prospect of this year's draft. dynamic as hell offensive defenseman, does things no other prospect in this draft would even think to do and . um. sometimes that thing is turning over the puck <3!!! or, as a random red wings podcast i was listening to this afternoon said: With Parekh, you might get Erik Karlsson, or you might get Erik Karlsson. and listen if you made it this far down you gotta understand that im a deeply unserious person about these things and this DID convince me that we GOTTA get him somehow. tbqh i wanted the Ducks to draft him because he was tragically separated from his bestie Pavel Mintyukov and i think a reunion would bring about an unprecedented era of world peace. but also. if they were on RIVAL TEAMS in the BATTLE FOR CALIFORNIA!!!!!!! oh that would be delicious <3 There's absolutely no way Parekh falls to 14th but this list isn't about realism its about my silly little dreams <3

Cole Hutson at 33 or 42 purely because i'm a fan of Lane Hutson (so so so jazzed to watch him play next season on either laval or montreal!!!!!) and they are similarly shifty and small. there is NO way mike 'you must be this tall to ride' grier drafts another 5'10 puck mover (<- more on this guy in a min). a fella can dream though <3

prospects who are my special little guys

Luca Cagnoni

ok quick recap. mike grier drafted Luca Cagnoni at 123rd last year. he is 5'10 (generously <3) and he's so special to meeeee <3 He's always been an offensive ROCKET!! so smart. WILL break ankles. great puck mover. great distributor on the pp. he's been working on his defence this year.

NO ONE THINKS HE'LL MAKE IT IN THE NHL BECAUSE HE'S LITTLE BUT EYE DO!!!!!!! If you go and check the Luca Cagnoni tag its literally just me and 1 other person. that 1 other person is now my friend. sometimes, my other sharks compatriots join in. but such is the nature of adopting a special little guy !!!

I get all misty-eyed thinking about how far he's come, from being undrafted in the WHL, falling to the 4th round in the NHL entry draft, and going on to have the strongest season a d-man in the WHL has had in 30 years. and yes he WAS the 123rd overall pick i was referring to earlier. He signed his ELC and it was the event of the offseason (to ME). it was more meaningful to me than the will smith signing i will be so real right now . I am hoping and praying that Luca gets a chance on the Sharks and flourishes.

sorry. sorry. i will NOT shut up about Luca Cagnoni. mike grier took a huge swing at the fences for him, he is so out of the gmmg wheelhouse its hysterical and i am genuinely shocked we drafted him. i wasn't there for it obviously but what was the draft floor like that day?? were people asking him Are You Sure, Sir. I'd have asked. i'd have knocked on his bald ass head to check if it was hollow (i, a bald person, can say this <3)

despite this. Luca Cagnoni WILL make it. ON GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kasper Halttunen

ok you saw me mem cup posting. this one isn't as deep!

i think he's got that dawg in him. him and his nepobaby london knights team were fun to watch!!!

i liked that he was squeezing denver barkey like a chew toy (gifed it, even!!!)

i am genuinely obsessed with the comments he leaves on other prospects' instagram posts. i've only looked around at a couple but yeah he's sure got a sense of humour <3

i would LOVE to see him develop out his 2-way game a little more and refine his beautiful bomb of a shot even further. i am excited to see how he progresses!!

bring him to the AHL as soon as possible gmmg i need to watch him squeeze the life out of his fellow sharks prospects

Macklin Celebrini

Alright this one seems so obvious because he's 1OA and automatically special BUT you guyyyyys. you guyyyyysss.... he's soooo good. I watched a couple of his college matches. I went back and watched some of his worlds matches. i have devoured so much literature on him. remember when I said i love when skilled players are defensively responsible?? Macklin Celebrini is that guy !! he is just so Shaped. the shape is Round. he is well-rounded like the beautiful sphere . the sphere where we will be drafting him. <3 yay !!!

no joke he IS a bit of a goon. finished his checks with a surprising amount of brutality in all the games i watched !! and like he had to be, I imagine he was getting targeted to hell and back in the NCAA. being 17 and playing against grown men. i like that he's got a bit of bite!!

listen, when the scouts and journos and pundits and coaches say he's "got a motor", what they mean is HE IS RELENTLESS. HE WILL NOT GIVE UP ON A PLAY. HE WILL RUN YOU DOWN AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SCORE ON YOU. HIS TEAM FOLLOWS HIS LEAD.

I just... I get the feeling he raises the people around him up to his standards because they can't help but want to match his intensity. I get the feeling that he is, aside from a great player, a great fit for the kind of culture the Sharks are trying to build. the Never Say Die Team. the We Will Eat You Team. i am completely, utterly endeared by his work ethic.

I think his little :^| face is so funny. i have posted about this before but when he smiles it looks like he has a few too many teeth and its GREAT. our shark. OUR SHARK!!!!!!

Honourable mentions:

Danil Gushchin: undersized creative forward with soft hands heloooo i love uou. mwah. unseat one of our girlfailure depth players next season i want to see u in the nhl <33

Shakir Mukhamadullin: Shak my noodleshark . he will absolutely see NHL ice full time next season if we remain bare on defence, so im not sure he counts anymore as a prospect. i believe in him so bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Georgi Romanov: unironically I think hes our only realistic hope for a Goalie of the Future. please survive the sharkuda experience my love <3

Will Smith: ROBBED of the hobey baker by our very own macklin celebrini. doesn't matter because he scored a dicktrick at hockey east finals and that shit was funny as hell. i think of him in terms of his boybestfriends BC Line which is forever shattered by his decision to sign with the sharks which means hes the driver of tragedy which makes him ELITE in my eyes.

honourable mentions 2 (obscure non-sharks edition):

Isaiah George: i fear i will actually have to watch the NY Islanders soon enough when they play him . i was watching the London Knights for Kasper and, as I do sometimes, I was struck by lightning after seeing him do something really interesting. I think I can probably go find the exact tags from when he first caught my eye. anyway! i am invested in him now and there is 0 current coverage on him !! ough my smooth skating defensive defenseman <333

Aatu Jamsen: a high skill/flashy forward the la kings signed to his ELC not too long ago <3 excited to see him play for the Ontario Reign. his lore is incredible. not to shill my own blog but i did a small post about him here and i am BEGGING everyone to go find out about him he moonlights as a RAP MUSICIAN!!!!. lak do not to bury him in the AHL forever im on my KNEES

Xavier Simoneau: les habs and their prospects got me. little guy (5'6) who is a bit fight-y. can and WILL go to battle against huge opponents for a puck and WIN. i look at him and slap my knee and i think. god damn he might actually do it. he might actually make the NHL.

Okay I think I will stop here before i start goin off about all the little guys i have tucked away...!! thank you for your time. thank you for handing me a mic and an excuse to yell about my little fellas. wehaveagathering dot tumblr you are thee flyers source to me. our failteams will soon share a shade of oranmge. I am very excited to fall in love with them!! <3

#hi hiiiii hellooooo thank you so much for visiting . i admire you so much for your dedication to your team. i am holding your fin <3 #hitting publish on this before i proofread it too much because its been like a week and i feel bad LMAO #APOLOGIES TO TEAMS WHOSE NAMES ARE INCLUDED IN THIS POST. YOU WILL BE ACCIDENTALLY CROSS TAGGED. </3 #nothing untoward is being said but . yeahg #puckposting #puckscouting #<- this counts #asks #user wehaveagathering

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insipid-drivel · 4 months ago

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Buddy, its not that serious. Youre the reason people hate tumblr 😅 im just a person that said one comment that clearly tickled you. Youre role playing an argument that no ones having. You just made stuff up to be mad about. Strange behavior.

Since you needed to tag me, im here to say im not biting that troll post. Also notice im not on anonymous sending threats?

Seek help. Step back from the key board. Its not that serious, its tumblr.

You're free to leave tumblr at any time if it makes you happy, because something I said clearly tickled you enough for you to show your ass up in my askbox. I like it here, been here for 11 years, and you're not gonna spook me by showing up in my asks like a creepy jack-in-the-box just to tell me "I didn't read shiiiiiit!"

I know you didn't read shit, because you wouldn't say you're not a racist on your blog while defending a system that was created to perpetuate religious and racial segregation if you actually had.

You're going through an awful lot of effort to let me know that you didn't read what I replied for someone who didn't actually read what I replied with. The "it's not that serious" retort in an attempt to minimize my response to you is a very transparent "I don't have a very good response for having my highly-inflammatory commentary publicly lampooned with a single Wikipedia page." If it's not that serious, then why do you feel the need to message me? Are you trying to flex in front of your followers or something? Because clearly you must be new here.

I didn't even know you replied until a few minutes ago because I was watering my apple trees and checking them for aphids. I'm hoping natural populations of ladybugs will keep them away, but I may have to spend some of my disability money on a box of ladybugs to set free on 'em since I haven't seen many this year. The only push notifications I get from trees are usually when the wind kicks up and a branch smacks me in the head, but that's between me and the tree, so I didn't see your ask until I got back inside. I don't blame my neighbors and have them fined for erratic tree motion endangering my hair, but you sound like the kind of neighbor that does.

And "You're role playing an argument that no one's having"? I wasn't the first person that spoke up against you? 3 other people just on the version that I saw reblogged to my dashboard had already replied to you with their well-founded arguments! I was just the first one that highlighted the racist side of the subject and how catastrophically negative the ramifications of them have been over the past century and how you can't be pro-HOA and anti-bigotry at the same time!

All that was in my reply were direct quotes from the Wikipedia page about HOAs and the "History" section, with the text copy+pasted over with its associated links to sources and citations for any users that may require tools like text-to-speech to read small fonts and blocks of text and look at the citations themselves straight from the comment. Did I intentionally antagonize you in my summaries after each paragraph because you were bragging about how you manipulate and control your neighbors using a historically-racist system? You're damned sure I did, because I don't like you and I'm not gonna bend over backwards to pretend to tolerate you or show you the slightest hospitality.

You are the skinhead that walked into my bar, and I'm the bartender telling you to get the fuck out so none of your friends that share your opinions ever think that my space is a hospitable place to revisit. You are sending an ask to someone that firmly believes that every human being on this planet, including you, deserves housing, food, water, a living wage regardless of employment or salary, and medical care given to them as basic rights and dignities. I'd sooner allow OceanGate to fly me into Venus than give you even the slightest inkling that approaching me at all with your ill-informed and discriminatory "opinions" already aired for me to see is something I will tolerate in silence, while I still recognize that you are a fellow human being. All you care about is having an expensive house - you don't give a shit about "community". You don't even seem to know what "community" really means. Your idea of "community" is more apt for the definition of a Potemkin Village.

HOAs were built on racist policies that white Americans couldn't stand to let go with the end of the Jim Crow era, and I am not about making friends with anybody that uses that kind of garbage to manipulate and control the people that are stuck with them as neighbors because "waaaah my property values!" The fact that you aren't incensed about how much religious, queer, and ethnic minority groups get fucked over by HOAs? Means you are not my ally. You are part of a centuries-old problem that I want to see fixed.

I own a home with my family. I pray all the time that my house's value fucking tanks, so that way my property taxes go down and saves me and my family more money every year. I want and hope to live in my home for the rest of my natural life so long as I can help it, and if enshittifying it to the sensibilities of property evaluators to save money works? Great! If you're aiming to keep the cost of your property sky high? Then you're already setting up to be somebody's asshole landlord, and if you love tumblr so much, you probably know how a lot of users feel about landlords these days.

Your beliefs about HOAs, are, in fact, discriminatory toward the real human people that have to put up with them, including you, and you're doing your part in carrying on the legacy of bigotry that HOAs were always intended to carry on. It's interesting how much good you seem to think you're doing while simultaneously treating your neighbors like they're beholden to you and your real estate advisor; that yours is the only property that matters, and they're just slow on the uptake that they have a new idol to genuflect to in order to maintain tranquility in their lives.

See, I don't give ground to bigots like you who use outrageously outdated and viciously discriminatory policies borne out of the Jim Crow era that favor you in order to exert your personal mandates and beliefs over your neighbors and their property when they're doing nothing to put you, your home, or your loved ones in actual danger or risk (and no, honey, lowering your property values because the neighbor isn't mowing their lawn to the right height or is working on a car within your line of sight does not count as putting you in danger).

Just like you can't touch anything related to Harry Potter due to JK Rowling using it as her platform and primary source of funding for her transphobic campaigns, HOAs by their very nature and origin cannot be used "for the greater good" without simultaneously perpetuating the generational violence and hate that it's based on.

I already know that multiple people made extremely good and insightful arguments against your beliefs that HOAs exist for the greater good for your property values just by looking at the notes and comments of the original post after you added your thoughts without even mentioning how HOAs are rooted in racism and bigotry, so I know that the real person here itching for a fight is actually you, because you could've chosen after the 2nd person replied negatively to you to just let the subject drop and let the replies under yours be nothing but an echo chamber for people like me you don't agree with and laugh while you disappear into the horizon with no one the wiser.

Instead, you waited less than 30 minutes after I posted my reply building on theirs with actual cited sources and further information about the actual, factual history of the subject to start getting defensive and in my face while also bragging about not reading any of what I said. It's just nonsensical dumbassery on your part to say "lol I don't read troll posts" on top of bothering to engage with me at all. So, I guess, thank you for being my human prompt for continuing to expand on the subject of Why HOAs Are Bad? Anyway.

See my askbox? You're free to be anonymous on my blog. You're free to send me hate anons if it makes you happy, because there is nothing you can do or say to me, anonymous or not, that will genuinely cow me into behaving the way you want me to, which is why your only recourse is to block me and move on, per tumblr basic etiquette, or just don't engage at all. What are you trying to achieve here by even responding to me? An "I'm sowwy I pointed out that the system you love for keeping your house value sky high and manipulating your neighbors for the sake of your own self-interests is entirely rooted in bigotry and hate because you Sent Me A Message Without Anon Status?" I don't give a fuck about you, @glutenfree-rootbeer! I wouldn't spit in your ass if your guts were on fire! It's your ideals that I take exception to and bothered to engage with.

Your original comment already had plenty of backlash aimed at you specifically well before I chimed in. Tagging you directly only helped me see that you really are looking to die on the HOA hill and need yourself people to try to laugh at and punch down on - so much so that you're the one that can't step back from the keyboard and realize that you're 100% in favor of employing policies that enable racist, sinophobic, transphobic, homophobic, and antisemitic segregation policies and housing restrictions. I didn't even dip my toes into the subject of Redlining, either.

By the by, I actually edited out the multiple times I tagged you directly in my reply, but missed one or two tags by mistake, because I did take a bit to think and went, "Yeah, actually, maybe tagging them personally is taking it a little far. I'll post up my comment, but keep it vague who I'm specifically responding to," But you've been such a regular Johnny-on-the-Spot with getting back to me personally that I have a funny feeling you'd still be here pissing in my ear anyway.

To digress back to a topic that actually matters, you cannot defend HOAs and also claim in public that you are not a bigot or, at the very least, an absolute blight on anyone unfortunate enough to have you as a neighbor that dares to do anything on their property that offends you. You are espousing the use of associations that have only ever been used for the sake of keeping "undesirable" people out of your community or otherwise being beholden to you and what you think is the proper way to upkeep your neighborhood.

If you can't handle having your uninformed and ignorant views that you took actual time to detail under someone ELSE'S post, so stop acting like you're the OP when you're just another commenter like I was, then you're gonna have a bad time when someone like me shows up with more information than you're prepared to respond to.

If my followers, mutuals, or anyone who is fully welcome to reblog this and share with their own circle that are curious about how horrific the history of HOAs and their absolutely nightmarish ramifications on our housing market, national economy, racial relations between white and BIPOC communities, John Oliver did an entire 26-minute segment about it that covers even more than I did:

youtube

@glutenfree-rootbeer, you may wanna just go to lastsqueaktonight.com to watch the Chuck-E-Cheese episode as a special treat if you managed to read this far.

For those who may want to see what started this whole thing, you can see the original post with @glutenfree-rootbeer's take on how HOAs are good along with my and other users' response to how they aren't Here.

And rootbeer? Don't even try to edit it. I took screencaps. They're under the cut ;)

This is word-for-word an exact screenshot of what you touted for posterity, because you strike me as the kind of person that would try to panic-edit and cover their tracks for the sake of plausible deniability if things got too uncomfortable for you <3

#asks #tw: racism #tw: bigotry #HOAs #long post #homeowners associations #fuck HOAs

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moonraccoon-exe · 6 years ago

Note

(1) Hi there Coonie, how is the most fabulous raccoon doing? I'm doing okay. I have a couple of hard weeks of university behind me but I am entering the calm time and I can relax a bit and I can see my family more, so excited. I remember the picture from an artist you wanted to show me. I havent been on tumblr that much because of university so I hope I didn't miss it? If you haven't reblogged it yet, no pressure. :)

*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPS*

PPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

*UNCONTROLLABLY FLAILS*

*CLINGS TO YOUR HEAD TIGHTLY, TIGHTLY*

PERIDOT BUDDY HEWWO I’VE MISSEDYOUSOMUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA OHMY LOOKA T YOURSELF IN MY INBOX AKSLJDKJF KLDJF YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN I SAW YOU DROP BY AGAIN I KNEW IT WAS YOU EVEN BEFORE I GOT TO THE SIGNATURE I- I - I SAW THE NOTIFICATIONS THAT STARTED WITH NUMBERS AND I WAS LIKE “KAJSDALKFJSKDLJF KLSDJF THIS IS PERIDOT AH” AND IT WAS YOU OMFGHDGFMG IT U, BUDDY, HEWWO,PERIDOT, I’VE MISSE DYOU♡

BUDDY HEWWO! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ♡

I’ve missed you, Peridot, I’m so happy to see you again in my inbox aaah!!

The most FABULOUS RACCOON is doing FABULOUSLY!! (ノ*°▽°*) Everything’s been in order, buddy! With minor struggles of EXISTENCIAL CRISIS (」°ロ°)」 but fine! Healing fast and good and basically almost entirely back to my normal life already. I do admit, I dropped the healthy diet for garbage good (I’m a raccoonie, what were you people expecting me to eat!?), but I’m trying to retake it. I wantz to be healthyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And trying to figure a way to make my own money! I feel bad that all my life I’ve been relying so much on my papas’ money, which I guess is normal, but I’d like to make my own. Only problem is, with my weird school schedule and my only medical order of “not lifting heavy things” and “not doing unnecessary efforts” aren’t helping me to get a job, ahahaha! But I’ll figure something, you’ll see! :3

Yes, I did guess you were busy or simply were not much in the mood to be much around Tumblr, buddy!! I didn’t say anything because, as I’ve told you, I don’t want you to feel pressure and I can wait as long as it takes, but I did assume you were just busy or away for any reason. So happy to see you drop by again, really! :3

It’s so good that you pulled through those heavy weeks of university. And even happier that you get to be more calm and with your family more often, that’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! :D You enjoy your time, alrighty, Peridot? Gotta sleep well and do what you like and laugh with the family. You deserve your good, nice break after giving your all at school! I’m proud of you, buddy. *pets you*

AAAAH, that drawing!! No, I haven’t reblogged it yet, so no worries, you didn’t miss it! :3 Artist doesn’t often drop in my ask, but I did have the sensation that they weren’t very active a few weeks after my surgery, you know? Like, no notifications or comments or asks. I think artist is sorta shy, but there were usually comments, maybe not in everything, but here and there sometimes. So I assumed that maybe they were busy (I hope so and not that something bad happened!), and I was waiting for both you to be in a much better mood to see, and mostly for artist to come back. Curiously, as I’m replying to you a few days after you dropped this, artist literally just left an ask too! SEE, I’M A GENIUS, THEY WERE BUSY. AH AHA AH *proud laugh* wHAT SORTA GENIUS AM I PERIDOT. I CAN SEE- SEE, I’M EVERYWHERE. U PEOPLE CAN’T SEE ME BUT

CAN

SEE

*dramatic music*

Gonna add a keep reading here, buddy, hope that’s okay with you! :D

Going to a medieval market together would be THE BEST THING EVAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AOSKDLJFLAKDJ KLAJSDKLSDFJSGK JUST IMAGINE THAT

IT’D BE AWESOME. You could be the PERFECT PAL so I can wear the medieval clothes that I like so much but that I can’t wear with others because they- they don’t get it, ya know, they don’t FEEL IT(」°ロ°)」 BUt YOU DO. You understand the magic of medieval fantasy worlds so hence you understand- YOU JUST GET IT. ID ON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU GET, YOU JUST GET IT AKLSDJKSLJFSDKLFJ

All ‘em awesome adventure clothes. And the fancy ones. And the cloaks and capes and stones and aksjdfldsjfskldfjs kljdsklfjsdklf

Ya know what, what do you mean with ‘it’s never going to happen’ WE NEVER KNOW. WE BE YOUNG. We have time to get goals, ya know? And it’s in my plans to go to Europe at some point anyway! I think my past life was Italian or was obsessed over it, because my point number 1 is going to Italy. I need to go there. Number 2 is Germany, I have to visit one of my absolute best friends in there! And from there, I guess maybe France. And many other places. Europe has that medieval air that I LOVE.

And I don’t know if you’re in Europe exactly, but there’s big chances, right? I do know you’re like 7 hours ahead of me so that’s…CEST? Just like Germany where my buddy lives! But CEST is not only Europe ya know, Africa’s there too! So even if you’re not from Europe exactly, the places I wanna go (I mean, first, because I wanna go EVERYWHERE hahaha) are still waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay closer to where you are than where I am right now, so YES! Who knows, maybe by the time I get the chance to go there, I can tell you and we can somehow plan to meet some day. AIN’T NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE, PERIDOT, it just takes time :3

O-oh, by the way this is in NO WAY a way to pressure you to tell me where you’re from, that’s your info and it’s fine to keep it!!

Anywa, back to topic!

You guys get medieval markets ALL YEAR LONG? UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH THAT IT SO COOL, AKSJDKDLFJ, I COULD SPEND ALL MY LIFE IN A MEDIEVAL MARKET/STORE/SETTING AND BE HAPPY. I mean, just if- if they have modern toilets, though, hahaha. But you get my point!! The fantasy medieval, that’s my absolute jam and I’m so jealous that you guys get a medieval market all year long! :3

I guess there’s all year long stuff here too, but it’s minor stuff. What we do get is a yearly…event? Where they locate it in a coldish forest (only like 40 minutes from my house!!) and there’s market, yes, but also sword fights and people on horses, you know, those fights wher you ride your horse and use a spear/lance to knock the other off the horse? And lots of dances and music and fire shows (to resemble “dragons”) and juglars and everything, it looks like it gets BIG and good, but I’ve never been to one :( It’s so difficult to find a medieval buddy to go with me, and I have no troubles in going alone but I CAN’T DRIVE ahahahah, and the place is accessible only via car so I require a driving buddy. And I’m too shy to ask my parents ;w;

A WINTER MEDIEVAL MARKET

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGH

WHAT SORT OF HEAVEN ARE YOU IN OH MY GAWD

Winter is my fave. Only natural for a creature of the moon, I guess! But yep, everything that revolves around winter, snow, the night, the moonie and stuff is MY JAM. So you’re basically saying you get a medieval market, my jam 1, and during winter, my jam 2, IN ONE SAME SOLE THING. PLUS it’s around a LAKE????

MEDIEVAL MARKET. AT NIGHT. IN WINTER. AT A LAKE.

ALKSJDLKJDF KLAJSDKLASJDLKSDFHSDKJLASJD

THAT’S IT. THIS IS A MUST. I HAVE TO GO TEHRE ONE DAY AND AIN’T NOTHING AND NO ONE GONNA SOTP ME AND IT’LL BE THE BEST ADY OF MY STUPID LIFE

this is so ex cit irng adhjdngf f

Honestly buddy, the way you describe that place sounds like my dream spot ;A; Where I could spend all day and all night and not get tired. The medieval market around the lake during winter, and the lights on it when it gets dark, and the little camp fires and the bands playing….it sounds like a dream. I don’t know what it is with all that and to many it may be a bit silly, but I know not to you, when I say that that’s the place where I’d really like to be. I don’t know why! It’s just so like me and what I like. I really want to be there. :’)

Speaking of medieval settings with camp fires and medieval music, you wanna hear my favorite song that sounds exactly like that?

Here you go! :D

See, there’s something about it; the medieval setting, the people around the camp fire, dancing and laughing and eating and being friends, and the music playing just for fun! IT’S BEAUTIFUL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

OH, so you love stones!! that is FABULOUS! (ノ*°▽°*)

I love stones too, but I’m not very acquainted with them nor do I have my collection. But I love them and the magic behind them; ever since I was a child, there were these false fantasy colorful rocks, and I remember to jealously try to keep them when we moved out of my childhood house because I didn’t want them to go missing and I wanted to keep them forever.

Even today there’s something about rocks and stones, whether colorful or not, that I adore. There’s magic in them, somehow. I love to hold them, to look at them. There’s a reason stones are so popular in the medieval fantasy settings that we love, right, Peridot? There’s something magical and abstract about them, it’s amazing!!

It’s so cute to know you have your stone collection. That is SO AWESOME, buddy!! I imagine it must be absolutely BEAUTIFUL and enchanting. I cna’t imagine all the different types of stones you must have. It doesn’t need to be a giant or big collection to be beautiful and I’m sure yours is, no matter how many stones you have. :3

Gods bless for the markets for making your collection grow!! What a better place to find magical stones than in a medieval market, am I right? Akajsdlksjdfkljs dklajf ksljdf all the pretty things you must have seen and gotten! Aaaaaaaaaaah :D

OH! I didn’t know Peridots are to keep nightmares away and keep happy thoughts. See, your names suits you PHENOMENALLY! (ノ*°▽°*) At least you always bring happy thoughts and vibes to me. Not sure about nightmares because they’re not frequent to me, but I bet that you’re probably part of that, too, huh. c:

OOH! MOONSTONES DO WHAT!

THAT IS SO AWESOME AHAH AH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! MOONSTONES TO KEEP NEGATIVE FEELINGS AWAY,AYO, THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! o(>ω

Akajsdlajf aklsjdalsñkfgldjfsdjasld jsalfadf, “it fits perfectly with you” AKSLJDASKL FJKALFJ KGSLHD

PERIDOT NOOOO WHAT AR EYOU DOING TRYING TO MAKE ME EXPLODE AHSDKJALDJ AAAH, YOU SWEET CREATURE YOU (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

“A message from you plus a moonstone nearby […]” ALDJKLÑSAK FAJGALÑSD ÑLKAL JFAPOJD HIFAJD D

DOT

YOU DON’T DO THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AKSDLJFKLADFJSD FI MEAN YES YOU DO SO YOU GET ALL THE HAPPY VIBES, BUT AKJSLDKJDFSKJ

YOU MAKE ME A SHY GIGGLING MESS WHY YOU DO THAT YOU- YOU SWEET AND KIND AND WONDERFUL CREATURE, YOU- YOU- AAAAAAAH(*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

See, that’s why the raccoonie vibes ALWAYS work! Raccoonies come from the moon, which is the source of the magic of the moonstones, so OF COURSE IT’S LITERALLY MAGIC. See, there’s a reason they don’t fail! ヽ(・ω・)ﾉ

Aaah, dear Peridot, I’m happy that you think so positively of a message and a moonstone! They must definitely work incredibly well as a team. I hope betweem the MAGICAL RACCOON VIBES and the moonstone we can get a Peridot effect and give you good dreams! (o´▽`o)

*is called My prince*

Moon raccoon:

AKLJSDJF AKLSJAKLSDJF KLASDJF AHWOWEIKFHSDLKHF DSKLJFLKASDAHG LSKJ FKLSDJFKLSDAHG AHSLG

*CONTINUES UNCONTROLLABLY SPASMING AND FLAILING AND ROLLING ON THE GROUND WHILE ON FIRE*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PEEEEEEEEEERIDOOOOOOOT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AJSDSDJGSKJFDF I AM

COMBUSTING

HANDFAJSDHASFH KAFJASKDJDSKG HSKS

*IS A FLAILING MESS AND HAS TO GO AWAY TO CALM DOWN*

AH.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH PERIDOT THAT WAS- SO BEAUTIFUL I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ;A;

ALSJDLKDSFJKALJDAKSJFDSKLFJSD, the way you said it so casually AKSFSLGJFG

*CLINGS TO YOUR HEAD AGAIN BUT HARDER THIS TIME*

IF I WASN’T GOING TO GET AWAY OF THIS HEAD BEFORE, NOW I AM IN NO WAY EVER DOING IT FOR REAL OKAY

IMMA PET YOU. AND CHOMP ON YOUR HEAD BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I DEMONSTRATE AFFECTTION. AND. I WILL ALSO CRY A LOT BUT THAT’S HAPPY TEARS

Aaaaaaah, Peridot, you SWEETEST most adorable thing yOU- YOU- HNNGHNGND GGNFDJGNH YOU.(*ﾉ▽ﾉ)♡♡

Great job Peridot, now I’m a giggling blushing shy mess that’s rolling around unintelligibly gurgling, AKSLJDFJDKLJFALSKFLSKDFJD

*MOONRACCOON.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING AND CANNOT REBOOT*

Aah, Peridot, buddy, you have no idea how happy I am to see you drop by again and how good it felt to reply to you aksldjklajfsdkj

Thank you SO VERY DAMN MUCH for dropping by again, buddy!! I’m so happy to see you. :3 And thank you LOADS for being as kind and as sweet as usual, HOW ARE YOU REAL ASKDJKLSDJKSLJFAKLASJ

Thank you so much for all the nice things you said and for all that you share with me and EVERYTHING AKSJDAJDF . It’s truly a treasure to see you drop by, anytime, buddy ;w;

*LOUD INHALE*

THANKYOUSOMUCHPERIDOT, FOR EVERYTHING❤

Thank you for being as sweet as usual, buddy. Aakjsldjsdkfsd, I don’t know how to say it enough :’)

ALSO, you have a very pretty color in this ask! Are you happier? Maybe just more at peace. Whatever it is, your color changed really nice for good. That makes me so very happy. :3

Anyway, I hope you too have a very BEAUTIFUL and phenomenal week ahead of you, buddy!

LOTS of raccoonie magic vibes, and the warmest, fluffiest raccoonie hugs back to you, buddy!! ALL ‘EM HUGS FOR YA! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Talk to you later! ( ˙꒳˙ )

#peridot

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