#Also I think these days it's a monthly fee instead of just something you buy; which I hate cause of my depression

[medicinemane]

You know, I gotta say, I had some rosetta stone fall of the back of a truck near me, and while there's stuff I used to like about duolingo, vs it's current state this is way better

Might just have to see... what other languages I can find strewn around the ground to get my mitts on before the source dries up

[stevishabitat]

This is a pretty typical monthly grocery shop for us. To get the most out of our Instacart subscription, I have to buy at least $35 at a time, or there's an extra fee.

Currently already in our pantry:

Peanut butter

Jam

Pancake/waffle mix

Tuna

Potatoes

Butter

Swiss cheese slices

Fajita size tortillas

A few canned soups

Canned tomatoes

Dry beans

Dry rice

A decent variety of sauces, spices, condiments

(mostly purchased from DollarTree, which is more like an every-other-month shop)

I'm hoping the mild weather will let some of our collards start growing early, so I can use those instead of buying cabbage. Fingers crossed for some early chives too, because they make potatoes or ramen so much better! I didn't put in cucumbers or tomatoes last year, but I'm hoping to do that this year, but that's awhile off still.

So what do we do with this?

Basically it's a lot of mixing and matching.

We don't have a stove or oven, but we do have:

Microwave

Toaster oven

Small electric grill

Mini electric skillet

Mini waffle maker

Small slow cooker

Sometimes we can borrow a pressure cooker, air fryer, or larger slow cooker

We use ramen noodles without the flavor pack as the base for a lot of things. Especially because we don't have a stove, ramen noodles are far more microwave-friendly than other types of noodles or pasta, especially for the 11yo who will not monitor for boil-over 😒.

So we do tuna ramen, ramen with egg, I cook the cabbage and mushrooms in our mini electric skillet, just a few servings at a time, or do a larger batch in the slow cooker. Add that cabbage and mushrooms and the frozen peas to anything for flavor and texture.

We do "ramen spaghetti" and use canned tomatoes with seasoning. Sometimes I fry bologna in the little skillet to add to it like pancetta. Or I use an egg, cheese, and balogna to make a poor man's carbonara.

The tortillas become pizzas by adding canned tomatoes, cheese, and bacon bits. Pop it in the toaster oven and it's a perfect one-serving thin crust.

Rice or potatoes can also be the base for lots of good meals. Cabbage plus potatoes plus bologna or bacon bits can go in the slow cooker for a few hours to become something adjacent to colcannon.

I often use rice to bulk up leftovers or add to canned soup to stretch it into multiple meals.

Using some ham boullion, I can make a bean & cabbage soup. Use chicken boullion to make rice & mushroom soup.

Beans & cheese on a tortilla is easy to grab and go. We add seasonings to the canned tomatoes to make salsa.

As a treat we sometimes get tortilla chips for soccer days so we can make nachos with the beans, cheese, canned tomatoes. Sometimes I get canned chili for an easy bump in protein. Kiddo thinks watching soccer should always involve nachos for some reason 😂

We also do a variety of sandwiches, wraps, quesadillas with the bread or tortillas. Egg sandwiches, tuna sandwiches, grilled cheese, pb&j, bologna & cheese. During the summer sometimes we swap hot dogs for the bologna so we can cook them over our outdoor fire pit. We use bread or tortillas instead of buns.

We got the most adorable little waffle maker which makes mini waffles. And we've been all over Pinterest for waffle ideas. You can make an incredibly crispy egg in the waffle maker, with cheese & bacon if you want. Or dessert waffles with a bit of cinnamon and sugar. Or spread pb&j on for extra protein. You can also do lovely crispy hashbrown potatoes in the waffle maker, with or without cheese.

[scumtrout]

Thing is, though, I have no idea if he's good enough at anything apart from perhaps writing, because the proof is in the pudding for that. (And, granted, when it comes to writing, 'good' is a very subjectibe term; 'popular' and 'widely-sold' might be better metrics. Fifty Shades is a popular and widely-sold novel but I still don't have any time for it.)

I don't know what he's actually like as a parent, manager, or law student. The context in which he references these things makes me feel like I'm meant to be impressed by them, e.g. he's giving me little tells that are meant to make me think 'this guy knows his stuff in multiple domains'. Unfortunately for him, this then makes a little red flag pop up in my brain because… I am assessing this guy on his ability to write a book on writing, and I don't particularly care if he's a parent or law student, unless he also explains how this makes him a better writer. I would care if the blurb said something like, '[author] is a regular contributor of [popular writing magazine] and he is the author of [award-winning novel]', but the stuff about him being a law student is like… Okay? It's a bit like something a guy would say while trying to chat you up. It feels like the writer is impling I should be impressed, which then makes me feel like I'm being subjected to a teeny tiny manipulation attempt, which then makes me feel skeptical.

It's entirely possible that he is very competent in all of those domains. I just think that the probability of someone being consistently competent in all of those domains drops after a certain point, because there are a finite number of hours in the day. And I have a little rule in my brain that says 'if someone makes claims of being competent in multiple domains, then you need evidence of this - e.g. qualifications, eyewitness accounts, personal observations - before you belive them'. My mind likely works this way because it's one of those areas where it seems beneficial to err on the side of caution; people tend to have a lot to gain by hyping their own competence, whereas actual competence tends to speak for itself (e.g. it's easy to learn that this guy CAN write and market a lot of books, so the other info included in his description seems… not very relevant unless he thinks it should impress people).

Funnily enough, he would've seemed more credible to me if the blurb had just said '[author]… writes 6-8 novels a year', and not included '[author]… is a manager at a Fortune 100 company and law student'. It would've worked MUCH better on me if it said, 'he writes 6-8 novels a year and last year his books sold [N] copies'. There are still ways for someone to massage their writing stats (his books sold [N] copies? Compared to what? I'm naive enough that I'd be susceptible to any big number!), but at least it'd feel more relevant instead of giving a small laundry list of stuff that probabily impresses people at parties.

Granted, I'd bet that the book's blurb is unlikely to be a 'problem' that deter people from reading the book, despite my personal aversion to it. If I was just looking for a book on writing, I'd be okay with it. But instead my conditions are 'I'm looking for a book on writing AND I want a book that's unlikely to be a reshash of things other people have said, churned out as part of someone's side-hustle' and... eeehhh I'm getting churn vibes from this guy. It doesn't help that I found his book through Everand, and a good chunk of Everand's catalogue consists of works that feel like a rehash of something else.

Everand seems to have a pretty big catalogue covered by its monthly subscription fee, and I do feel like this catalogue has been padded with stuff that's not technically bad but still stuff I wouldn't buy if it was a one-off purchase. (It's telling that despite having an Everand subscription, I've still kept my Audible subscription; when I use an Audible credit, I'll feel confident that I'll enjoy the book I've chosen, whereas whenever I find a book I enjoy on Everand, it's, erm, a pleasant surprise.)

Man I read the above and unfortunately my instinctive reaction was 'there's no way I'm reading any of these guy's novels unless people stress to me that they're actually good'.

[lexa-lives-in-us]

Saving Tips for Hard Times

I found this old document where I collected a series of tips to save money. This is all part of my experience of when I was near homeless, and some work depending on where you live, some don’t. Here we go.

BILLS:

1. The optimum temperature for refrigerator operation is 5°C, and -18°C for freezer operation. As a rule of thumb, for each additional degree of refrigeration output about six percent more electricity is used.

2. Unplug your appliances. Lamps, microwave, tv, computers etc. They don't need to be plugged until you use them, and it saves energy to keep them unplugged. Therefore, money.

3. Do homework for phone companies and internet plans. Call them! Often they are toll free and if you mentioned that you were already with them or thinking of going with them and then found out another company had a better deal, they could offer you deals for lower prices. I had to do it all the time for my phone, until they couldn't really offer anything better.

4. BIKE. Invest in a used bike if you can, especially for the warmer months. It offsets the transit costs and better your health.

5. WALK. That's the same as the bike, honestly.

6. Pay your bills on time, you will avoid late fees which can up to HUNDREDS of dollars wasted over the course of a year. If you can, set up automatic payments so you don’t forget.

FRIDGE:

1. Every time the refrigerator door is opened, cold air escapes and warm ambient air enters. To compensate for the temperature increase in its interior, the refrigerator must then use energy to bring the temperature back down. Always avoid opening the door unnecessarily and for too long.

2. When defrosting frozen food place it in the refrigerator. Not only does this ensure that the food is carefully defrosted, its presence cools down the refrigerator interior, reducing the amount of work that the compressor has to do, and therefore lowering energy consumption.

3. Never put warm food in the refrigerator as this will heat up the interior, as well as other stored foods. Hot food should always be allowed to cool to room temperature before placing it in the refrigerator

MONEY:

1. Keep all the containers like glass bottles, juice bottles, jars, cans etc. Look for your Return-It depot and have trips to return them. They give back coins for laundry, small expenses etc

2. Use that junk mail. Go through it, find coupons for food, for essentials like toilet paper or shampoo.

3. CHECK. THAT. DOLLARSTORE. They often have things like pasta, ketchup, toilet paper, batteries etc for literally 1 dollar.  Pasta is pasta, toilet paper is toilet paper. Seriously. Don't need to spend 5$ on a shampoo bottle when you can have it for 1/5 of the price.

4. Do homework and check with different banks for which one offers a better plan. Some of them are willing to help out. Sit down with their advisors, find the best solution!

5. Use the envelope system! For example, one envelope with a label “food” the other with “entertainment” the other with “bills”. Then set the right amount of cash for each. That’s what you’re allowed to spend each month. If you realize you need more for food, grab it from the entertainment envelope. Adapt and arrange as needed.

6. If you can, set up an automatic saving (example 50$ every paycheck) for both regular saving AND an emergency fund.

7. Use the 24-Hour Rule. Avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse with a self-imposed 24-hour rule. For any non-essential item, wait 24 hours before purchasing. It’s perfect for online shopping where your items can simply be added to your cart to purchase later.

8. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the grocery store and STICK to it. You’re going to avoid buying things you don’t really need.

9. DO. NOT. SHOP. WHILE. YOU. ARE. HUNGRY. Or you’ll end up buying food that you actually don’t need just because you feel snacky!

10. Only use ATMs from your bank, or you get charged small fees.

11. Set a “No Spend Day” per week, where you consciously DO NOT spend any money for that day.

12. Ditch the paper: Cutting out paper towels and using cloths and napkins that you can simply wash and reuse is a simple way to save.

13. After you wear clothes, hang them outside your wardrobe, on a door or something. You can air them out a bit, then stick them in the closet without washing. You can basically reuse the same clothes two or three times without having to wash them, sometimes they just need a bit of air and they won’t smell AT ALL.

14. If you don’t own or want to spend money on an iron, hang whatever blouse you need to iron in the bathroom while you shower. The steam will humidify the fabric and straighten it up.

15. Hang stuff to dry. Really don’t need to spend money on the dryer.

16. Sign up to the library. They have so many books and DVDs nowadays. You can also just go, sit at the library and stay warm for a while, so that you don’t have to sit at home and either suffer the cold or use money on your own heat.

17. Budget, budget, budget. Get a lil notebook, write down the monthly expenses, cut what you don’t need. It gets easier with time.

 FOOD:

1.       Make a meal plan. Write 10-14 days worth of dishes that you can do (lunch, dinner, everything you need). You can then toss them around as you go on with your week, but that way you have a pretty clear idea of what you use and the food you go through for how long. It also reduces the risks of getting take out since you already have plans for what to eat.

2.       Cook double! Seriously. Make that dinner and double it up. Leftovers can be frozen or put in the fridge for the day after.

3.       Meal prep. Once a week, prep a bunch of different recipes. Let them cool down, stick them in the freezer. At that point you’ll already have all these meals at the ready to just thaw/microwave or oven up.

4.       You don’t need pop. You don’t need alcohol. You most likely don’t need milk, but go for it if you wanna. Just remember dairy products go bad WAY more quickly than non dairies, so consider getting food and drinks with no dairy in them. Mainly, though. Water. Just drink water. Lots of it too! Sometimes our brain can’t tell the difference between hunger and thirst. You think you’re snacky? Drink some water instead! It’ll quell your hunger.

5.       Freeze fruit! If you think you’re not gonna be able to eat fruit in time, put it in a Tupperware or a ziplock and slap it in the freezer. You’ll be able to then use it for smoothies.

6.       Use the Italian saying “Colazione da re, pranzo da nobili, cena da poveri.” Which quite literally means “Breakfast as a king, lunch as a noble, dinner as a poor.” Breakfast should be very filling, carbs, protein, vitamins. It carries you for the whole day. Lunch should be quite filling too! But supper doesn’t really need a lot of it, and if you REALLY have to skip a meal, skip supper. Your body doesn’t need that much sustenance while sleeping.

7.       This is for the desperate times but I’ve done it, and I would do it again if I ever had to. Go to markets that have like… Fruits and veggies. Talk to them. Ask them “HEY, can I have the fruit/veggie that you have to throw away?” Ask them if you can have the ugly produce, the one that doesn’t look pretty enough to be put out. Or ask them to have whatever extra they have to dump because is past the expiry date. EXPIRY DATE IS USUALLY MUCH LONGER THAN WHAT THE LABEL SAYS. I wouldn’t risk it with dairy stuff or with things that are VERY expired, but one or two days? Totally fine, I promise. And if you have to? Dumpster Dive. Especially at markets with fruit and veggies that have to be sold on the same day (because it’s not considered “fresh” past that day.) Or behind pizza places like Dominos or Panago or whatever chain. They get pizza orders wrong all the time. Just give a peak behind these buildings and look inside their boxes. You have no idea how many times I found perfectly fine pizzas. For free! IF YOU DUMPSTER DIVE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES, A MASK AND PLASTIC BAGS TO PUT YOUR STUFF IN. ONCE AT HOME, DISCARD GLOVES AND WASH PRODUCE THROUGHLY. Also check tumblr for your divers community, they usually know the best spots.

 CLOTHES:

1.       Thrift shop! So many GOOD used clothes are out there! Honestly! My whole wardrobe is thrifted and everything looks brand new. It takes a bit of research and maybe that shirt you liked is not in your size, but you can find EVERYTHING, from socks to bras, at a thrift store. Don’t thrift underwear though. You want to go new with those.

2.       Invest in some needle and thread, then open youtube. There are SO MANY tutorials that teach you how to mend holes in socks and underwear. And really, no one will really notice if a mend is perfectly done or not. After a week, you’ll forget it too! But that prevents you from throwing away clothes that could just be mended a little.

3.       Something doesn’t fit you? Too small, too big? YouTube, homie. They have tutorials on how to fix these kinda things! All you need, again, is needle and thread.

4.       Organize clothes swaps with friends and/or neighbors. Everyone brings clothes they don’t need, put them in a pile. Go through the pile and grab whatever there is. There’s no money exchange, one could go home with 1 item and one could go home with 50 items. Who cares? The extra stuff… DONATE IT TO A SHELTER.

Feel free to add more, and stay safe!

[cosmiclatte28]

6 Shots of Coffee (Jaemin x you + Dreamies)

a/n: I am back! With a sudden wild oneshot. Please be aware that this is purely fan-fiction. Anything happening here is mere pure imagination. I did not intend to connect any disorders with the idols in real life.

Warning : characters with disorders, a lot of dozing off characters, character with slight adhd (i tried my best to picture them correctly but I’m sorry if everything is wrong, i only did a short research). Mentions of orphanage, drunk parents, and a broken family. HAPPY ENDING! 

CHARACTERS : dream (minus Hyuck and Mark), Taeyong, and Yuta also our brave (y/n)! 

here we go, 

If there are three things in life you hate, that will be Jaemin, Jaemin, and oh god another team assignment with Jaemin!

Jaemin has been the most excruciating classmate you ever have! Not only did he tease you about your freakin need of keeping things in their proper place and keeping things spotless, but he also keeps using you to help him pass his classes. Yet no teacher minds your complain, and all the school girls think you're a freak for being mad about sharing a group project with the handsome guy.

No you’re not sick or weird. You just love organizing things and you like clean things a bit too much. Why? Coz you've had some bad memories with dirty things. Okay Jaemin is just another naughty kid in your class who likes to play and have fun with others, but you certainly did not find his jokes funny.

“Come on calm down (y/n)! It's only coffee, we can clean that.” Jaemin tries to laugh it off despite seeing you standing completely frozen in front of him with an empty cup and you with a  brown uniform. Although you clearly see there is a slight worry in his eyes.

You hold yourself back. How come the worst day has to become worse?! You woke up to period cramps, you forgot a homework thanks to late night distracted room cleaning, and as you were about to rush to type your homework in the library, Jaemin decided to meddle and spill his coffee on your white uniform.

A part of you want to scream and yell and pull his hair apart, but you're too tired to talk with Jaemin. Let alone think about Jaemin, there's just so many things you hate related to Jaemin.

Despite him trying his best to apologize and to help you wash your clothes, which is something new… Jaemin never cared if he messed up with you. You ended up slapping his hand away when he wants to drag you to the office to ask a spare uniform.

“Go away! I have to rush,” you push him aside with your shoulder and run to the library. Knowing so well you'll probably get another minus score and a weird look from the library thanks to your stained uniform.

You hate the feeling of sitting down with this coffee stained shirt, and as much as you want to open that shirt and change into something else, you don’t have the energy. So, after sitting down on the table with the library's laptop you stare into the keyboard only to focus more on your uniform and the least wanted thing happens.

You cry. You cry by yourself in the corner of the room and you don’t really mind the stare they give. You just want to end life here, can anyone just stab you? Or can the ground split and swallow you?

There’s another thing you hate other than Jaemin meddling with your ugly life. It's dirt and unorganized objects. Why? Well you were once a very regular kid, always playing in the rain mud and all kinds of sand. You don’t mind having dirt all over your body you know when you go home you can shower. That's until you grow up and notice how your family is different. Your parents look like they are okay, but every night you hear them argue and argue. The argument gets stronger and scarier, they shout, scream, throw things down and you were always awaken to the no longer comfy homey house. You realize one day you woke up to seeing your dad getting drunk, your mother depressed, and the house super dirty like a tornado just hold a party. It’s awful to wake up to the smell of cigar and alcohols instead of bacons and eggs. You had to keep one plate with you or else it will end up like its friends, lifeless, prickly, sharp, on the ground.

Your maid stopped working, you're moved to a new school, this middle school where you meet Jaemin and some other annoying problematic students. Your once colorful life turned dark and gloomy. No longer you woke up to morning kiss and breakfast. You find yourself sitting alone in the dining room, preparing your own sandwich from some cheap dry bread. No more nutella and you're grateful for butter.

You tried to understand, keeping all to yourself as you grow up and noticed your family is broken. You thought everything will get better, one day mom and dad will love each other again and you'll be back with the bright family you love.

Life is not that kind. Life is cruel, on your 14th birthday your dad left for another woman and your mother dropped you off to an orphanage. She said she can no longer pay for your school and living fees. Heck she even had to borrow money to buy you your monthly pads.

The cheerful friendly you turned 180° into a mournful secretive teenager. You hate everyone who looks bright and you hate every single dirt. Seeing unorganized things and dirty objects just remind you of the dark memories you want to forget.

The orphanage found your smart talent and you got a scholarship making you still able to attend the school. The orphanage you live in has a rule where there is a schedule for cleaning up and preparing dish. You meet a similar boy who has the same problem with you; just that he looks like he had overcome his bitterness and chooses to live a happy life. Which you deadly want to do but cannot.

Renjun, is the only person you talk to in that house. The adults taking care over you, still cannot make you talk comfortably with him and you're not planning to do any sooner.

“Hey, it's me. Should we make a letter to the office and go home?” Renjun's soft voice comes to your ear and you look up to him with blood red eyes.

“How long have I been crying?” you sniffle.

He shrugs his shoulder “I just came an hour ago when I noticed you're missing Chemistry class and Jaemin too. I thought he was with you.”

You scowl “Why would I be with Jaemin?”

Renjun scratches his head “I don’t know… you were always assigned a team with him… I thought both of you are rushing a task.”

“I am having a bad day.” You exhale.

Renjun shakes his head “That is more than a bad day. Here, put this on that coffee is hot or cold?” he gives you his school blazer and you gladly put it over your stained uniform.

You sigh, of course Renjun noticed. He is also like you, despise any single speck of dust.

“Jaemin spilled his cold coffee on me. Now I am late to submit my work, I'll never get the essay done and I am skipping classes. GREAT! Looks like I will be kicked out of school next week.”

Renjun shakes his head again “Silly, you're dramatic. They won’t kick you just because of that. What about your achievements?”

You scoff “They can always find another better painter. I could barely tell difference in colors.”

Renjun smiles well that’s what makes you different. The school honors your brilliant talent of drawing although you have a hard time distinguishing colors. But your emotions are well delivered on every picture you paint. That gives honor to the school when the art teacher secretly sent your works to different curators and exhibitions.

“Come, we will go home. I'll make your letter. Can you wait for me in the lobby by yourself?” Renjun smooths your hair away.

You shake your head and clearly looks afraid “Can I join you?”

He nods and lets you go with him, blaming himself for ever offering you that option.

You got home, Renjun fixes your mood by giving you new clothes. Yes, as simple as that, and you’re already less scarier than before. He makes you tea when he saw the circled date on the calendar and drops you some pain killers.

“It's that month, sorry for not noticing had I known, I'd bring you home when I heard Jaemin looking for you around the school.”

You pause from cutting the potatoes, well you need to start cooking dinner for the others. “Jaemin looked around for me?”

Renjun nods “Uh huh that's also how I know something is not right. Jaemin never looked for you except when he needs your score.”

You curl your lips “Weird. He also wanted to bring me to the office, which he never did before.”

Your sudden emotional change is a regular thing to Renjun. Although at first he has to bear with your monthly exploding sensitivity since you're the first teenage girl in this house, Renjun manages to tame you down when he calmly offer you a cup of warm chamomile tea you love.

“Maybe it’s the coffee.” You shrug it off. Come to think of it, you never see the school selling coffee but Jaemin always brings his cup of super dark coffee.

“Oh home early?” Taeyong, the oldest son of the orphanage owner, greets you both. Well Taeyong is like the head matron here, every school letter directed to him and every new kid will meet him.

“It's not her day. I brought her home before she spent another day dozing off in the school's garden.” Renjun whispers to Taeyong and the older just nods his head.

“Oh! Did I mention to you we will have a new family tonight? Please be nice, he comes from this neighborhood and we actually had been waiting for his arrival since last month, but he always escaped before his vise parents want to drop him here.

You grow annoyed at this news. Well you don’t really like having to act kind and good in front of the others. Especially when meeting new members. Taeyong always asked you to at least be welcoming and less patronizing but you cannot keep your resting bitch face to yourself.

“I might as well skip dinner.” You taunt at Taeyong “No way I am acting kind in front of that person when I had a shitty day.”

Taeyong just hums to your threat, it is nothing new. You're a stone heart and he doesn’t want to have to slap you because of your stubbornness.

“I don’t mind. Just try to be welcoming, he had a rough time too.” Taeyong waves his hand and disappears behind his study room.

“I wonder who is going to join us. Our dining table is empty after Mark and Hyuck got adopted.” Renjun is excited to welcome the new family, maybe because he really likes it better here and therefore, he wants to make sure everyone else is welcomed.

Unlike you who still can't swallow the bitter truth. For you, your real family was the best, yet you didn’t know when everything started to fall apart.

The other comes home, you see Jisung, Jeno, and Chenle coming from the backyard and you hide yourself back on your room. Dinner is ready they just have to heat it up. The stew.

You close your window and come back to sit in front of your paper. Trying to remember what project you missed and have to do.

You look around the room, you used to have a bigger room, but after Taeyong knew you cannot stay still when there are mess, he moved you to a smaller room where you cannot store so many things. He said its for your own good. He doesn’t want you to stress yourself and distract your studies just to clean things up.

You feel your stomach rumbling but when you hear the noisy sound downstairs, you remember the new family. Actually, you are curious, so you sneak from your room and take a peek from the walls.

Your mind might be playing tricks on you, you rub your eyes and focus more to the familiar man in the same uniform as yours. You want to doubt it, but when you hear Jisung repeats his name you want to jump away from this house and run far away.

Life must have hated you so much to send Na Jaemin not only to your school but also to your “house".

Although you try to ignore him, your mind wonders what makes him come here. He looks like he is okay, only naughty, but he doesn’t look like an orphan.

“Dinner?” Yuta, Taeyong's younger brother asks you when he was about to go down and greet Jaemin.

You quickly gasp and shake your head before making a quick run to lock yourself in your room.

You try to think of any reason why Jaemin is here… from dinner to nine you cannot think of doing other thing rather than fiddling with your pen as you let your brain wonder and wonder.

Only around twelve did you suddenly jolt and realize you've wasted another night without doing your paper. You hear a step on the squeaky floor, and you have to stay quiet. Taeyong and Yuta wouldn’t like seeing you still awake this late. However, you don’t recognize the footsteps. Must be Jaemin’s.

The next morning, you escape earlier from the house. Leaving before breakfast for the sake of not meeting Jaemin. You're still mad at him and you hate him. You hate him for giving you hard times at school and now at “home".

You were waiting in the class when suddenly Jaemin comes into the class with a nervous face. You wonder did he just see a ghost? Jaemin really looks out of his place. Did he finally realize he is thrown away to the orphanage? Or did he finally realize you're secretly writing foot notes to the teacher that Jaemin is only leeching on your grades? Did he get called by the office?

You try your best to stop distracting your mind and continue working your essay. Thank goodness you can submit the work when the teacher leaves the class, only then did you see Jaemin's frozen state on his chair.

“Jaem?” you surprise yourself too for calling out his name. He also looks surprised.

“Yes?” he puts on his damn sickening pretty smile back like he always did to other students.

“Erase that smile. It's creepy.” You mutter and the other girls in your class is wanting to end you up there and then.

“Sorry, it’s just that… I … I didn’t get my coffee this morning.”

You raise your brow, oh right. Taeyong and Yuta are not giving us caffeine until we are 20.

You raise a brow “And? Can’t you skip once?”

His feet thump on the floor and he looks around nervously “You're right. I- don’t mind me.” He stands up and suddenly leaves you with bigger question mark in your head.

He sure is weird. What’s wrong with skipping one cup of that bitter liquid?

--

“(Y/n)! Come let's go home.” Renjun greets you on the lobby as you wait for the youngers to come too.

“Noona, you should meet Jaemin hyung! He is so sweet last night!” Jisung tugs on your uniform.

You frown and shudder your shoulder “Jisung, I hate that man.”

Jeno just laughs at your words and at Jisung's surprised expression “So, should we wait for him?”

You click your tongue “Actually that weird man left class after the first session and did not come back to class. Maybe he ran away. Let's go before it rains.” You start leaving the lobby, but no one follows you.

“Is it because of us?” Jisung worriedly asks his brothers.

Renjun thinks for a while “You mean what happened this morning?”

Jisung nods. Your ear can still hear them, for they start walking after you too. You have to hold yourself from turning around and asking them what happened this morning that made him weird!

When the five of you enter the house, that's when your brain finally clicked on what Jaemin must be suffering.

There in the middle of the living room, is Jaemin looking so uncomfortable as he forces his hand to write on a paper with a textbook opened by his side, but what comes out of his hand is just scribbles of lines and curves and he looks like he is painting instead of writing an essay.

“So damn hard to be productive!” he suddenly throws his pen and pulls his hair. All five of you are shocked to see this. Even you! You never see this side of Jaemin in school.  He always looks like the charming prince every girl’s crush, but this is definitely not the same man.

His lips are trembling, limbs unable to stop shaking and he looks in pain. And he starts to hit himself as if scolding his body for not cooperating.

You are in awe and you have to quickly usher Jisung and Chenle away.

“Jaemin! Calm down okay.” Jeno and Renjun quickly stand by his side and tries to keep the boy from hitting himself.

You bring Jisung and Chenle to their rooms while your head is quickly thinking of what to do. You sure see he is panicking and he's throwing tantrum. Taeyong and Yuta are not here yet but when you see your reflection on the window with a clean uniform suddenly your mind reminds you of the incident yesterday.

Coffee. Na Jaemin needs coffee. As silly as it sounds, you've read somewhere that coffee can help someone with ADHD or something like that. You're not sure, but you want to give it a chance. You run to your room, break your saving jar and pick out the bills you've been saving.

“Jaemin, how many shots?” you ask him when you pass through him.

Renjun and Jeno look at you with question in their face but Jaemin understands you and holds out a number with his hand.

Your eyes widen but you run to the nearest coffee shop, the one with the brand you always see Jaemin holding.

“Give me americano with six shots of espresso. Cold I don’t know with water or not.” You sound as mad as a hatter, but the barista seems to notice something.

“Are you by any chance taking an order for Jaemin?” he asks you nod your head baffled that he is a regular here until the shift knows his order and name.

“I was confused when the morning shift told me Jaemin skipped his coffee today. Alright i'll make it like how he always orders.” The man with a name tag Mark punches the bill and gives you the amount.

You don’t mind paying such high price for the black bitter drink you never like, as soon as Mark hands you the drink you walk as fast as you can back to the house.

You see Renjun waiting for you in the porch and he looks pale.

“Where did you go?! I was worried.” Renjun almost scolds you for leaving suddenly.

You walk past him “Jaemin! I have your coffee.” You yell at him, who is currently staring on the TV that's off. Jeno is still sitting next to him, afraid that Jaemin will do anything dangerous.

Jaemin's eyes widen as he quickly takes over the drink and gulp it down like his life depends on it.

All three of you wait for him to finish half of his drink and like magic, Jaemin looks calmer.

He closes his eyes and leans on the couch. His head rests on the small pillow Jeno tosses to him and you can see his usual self back.

After ten minutes, he opens his eyes stretches his body and like a robot who has his reset button pressed, Jaemin shoots a “what?” look to the three of you.

“Sorry if I freaked all of you out. I…” he shyly scratches his head “I have a minor ADHD and … coffee seems to be helping me focus and calm down.”

Now everything clicks. You understand why the teacher actually always assigned you with him, because no one else can handle Jaemin as patient as you and you're too blunt to notice he has his own trouble. You understand why he always brings a coffee to the class and why he looks calm when he has them. Unlike yesterday when he spilled it over you, you clearly see a slight terror in his eyes, and he disappeared from class. Maybe he was shy of showing his true self in class. You now know the reason he skipped class today because of the lack of caffeine and you just didn’t know he is also as wrecked as you guys.

That night, Jaemin knocks on your door and invites you to join dinner.

“You skipped dinner last night, I don’t know if it’s because I was there… and yesterday I was really ruining your day. I'm sorry I wasn’t a good friend too at school.” Jaemin speaks rather in a calm tone and you're taken aback he can speak in a soft kind voice and not the high pitch annoying teasing voice you regular get in school.

You're flustered, but you quickly put back your cold face “It's okay. T'was my fault too not looking the way.  Don’t worry I skipped dinner last night coz I am not hungry.” You lied.

No way you were going to spill the truth to him, not when you already know how hard his days are. He was not as bright and happy as he looks like.

“Renjun told me last night everything about you. I am so sorry…I didn’t know my jokes were very painful and disturbing to you. I should’ve stopped but you know I sometimes cannot hold my brain back.” Chuckles Jaemin nervously.

You sigh and place a hand on his shoulder “Life is hard right?” He nods his head and you squeeze his shoulder, “We also find it hard. But at least we're not alone now. We have each other and the others too. I am also sorry for picking on you to the teacher for leeching my score, but I promise I won’t do that again. I'll help you Jaemin.” You smile sincerely to him.

His face brightens “You're the best! I always have hard time focusing! Well coffee helps me, but still it's not healthy.”

You take his hand in yours “Na Jaemin, you're a part of our family now. Since we're family, we will get each other's back! Don’t worry things will be okay and you too will be okay!”

He Smiles and that is a new smile you've ever seen on him. A smile that's pure and true. That shows he too is also a human who can feel pain not just the angelic handsome boy in class.

“We should eat. The others are waiting,” Chenle's appearance in the hallway makes you and Jaemin turn your heads to him.

“She's right. We're family, now family eats dinner, together right? Come on! Taeyong hyung got us some pizzas for your welcome party.” Chenle drags the taller man's hand which automatically pulls you too.

A smile comes to your face when you realize just how perfect this imperfect family is!

Yes you also struggled focusing on a certain job, yes you also hate messy stuffs, yes it's true Renjun took three months to open his mouth and speak complete sentences, it also takes Jeno five months to be true about his feelings, and Jisung plus Chenle? They also have their fish to fry. Now Jaemin, is here with his own battle that will soon be shared within us.

Just like the famous quote, Ohana means family and family means no one is left behind.

Looking around the table, although you really wish you have a sister or a mother figure here, you're more than happy to call the 7 men your brothers and families.

end

please let me know if there are anything I can fix. I am trying a new genre and it’s a bit challenging but I am happy with finishing this. 

Contact or reach me out if you have any curiosity of what happens to the members or maybe you wonder what their problems are. 

Thank you for reading :D 🤗💖

[earthlyemily]

I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is emilymiddin@hotmail.com or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is emilymiddin@icloud.com i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

[adhdstudybitch]

Practical Tips for ADHD College Students

I know a few posts like this already exist, but I wanted to add my own experiences to the mix in case it would be helpful to someone else. Some of these will look familiar, some not so much.

Disclaimers: 1) What works for me may not work for you, take everything with a grain of salt and experiment, 2) These are what I’m using for a 4-year school but I imagine it would be applicable for any college? I wish I’d known to do some of these things when I was at CC, 3) I won’t pretend that I am an ADHD success story, not yet. I’m still finding my way, learning to cope, learning to thrive. It’s a process.

NOTE: This post is kinda long; if it’s too long I recommend just reading the bolded/italicized headings and only reading the ones that pique your interest :)

Sensory Issues:

Wear comfortable clothing: Screw the mentality that you always have to look your best in college. At the end of the day, feeling hot but ridiculously uncomfortable will trigger sensory issues (especially if you’re someone who is sensitive to certain materials/styles of clothing) and it will impact concentration and can cause a lot of distress. Are you comfortable in those sweatpants, pajama bottoms, baggy shirts? Cool, wear them. 

Stim toys: Love yourself, buy (or make!) stim toys and bring them to school. Can’t speak for CC because I didn’t use stim toys when I went, but at my 4-year school everyone is too busy drowning in deadlines to notice you squishing thinking putty or using a fidget cube under the table. 

Try different stim toys: I used to get caught up on trying to make the more popular stim toys work for me when they didn’t, so I had to experiment a bit to see what worked. It’s not always as simple as cubes, spinners, squishy toys, etc. If you have issues with texture you’ll want to really experiment, especially with things like putty, squishibles, etc. to see what is comfortable and what isn’t. But there’s a big ol’ market out there!

Headphones/Earplugs: The single most helpful sensory detail for me was always bringing my headphones to campus. I get easily overstimulated in uncontrolled situations with lots of different sounds. I make sure my volume is enough to block the noise out, but the songs I choose in these instances are usually familiar, so they don’t provide too much new stimulation when I can’t handle it. I also keep earplugs in my backpack for exams.

Studying/School Related:

If possible, leave your house: This has been one of the hardest changes I’ve had to make because I’m an introvert and genuinely prefer being home. But I’m starting to learn that my ass will not do work 9/10 times when I’m home. Too much to do, too many other things to get done, lots of fun distractions, and cats! So many cats! Unfortunately cats won’t take my exams. I’ve found that the library is okay, but for me small cafes worked much better. Armed with my headphones, some coffee, and an atmosphere that caters to silently getting work done, I’m able to focus longer, and to focus on what I really need to.

Note-taker: Admittedly I’m talking out of my ass on this one, because I haven’t yet done this. But that’s exactly why I want to stress getting a note-taker. My college life would be infinitely better if I’d done this when the semester started; instead, my notes have gaps where I couldn’t concentrate, or couldn’t process what was being discussed, etc. 

Other accommodations: Accommodations for ADHD differ depending on the college, but some of the common ones are: note-takers, silent exam spaces, assignment extensions, and use of tech such as recorders, speech-to-text software... If you’re like I was and are worried that you’re asking too much asking for accommodations, remember two important things: 1) Accommodations exist to level the playing field, not to give us an edge, and 2) YOU PAY FOR THIS SERVICES. That huge, overwhelming tuition bill with all those “extra fees”? You’re paying for these services already, might as well take advantage of them!

Talk to your professors: This part is truly terrifying for me, but I’ve started opening up this semester to my professors and it has made a difference. The professor for my hardest class actually has a son with adhd so she understood and was even able to provide me with some resources that would help. At the very least, it made my professors aware of my struggles and aware that I wasn’t just being lazy, which calmed my RSD a bit.

Organization: Staying organized is important for any college student, but especially for those with adhd. We lose things a lot, and if things aren’t in obvious, constant places it becomes so much easier to lose or forget where we put things. That being said, your ‘organized’ will probably not be other peoples ‘organized’. For example, I use my Ipsy bags for organization. One holds any writing utensils, flashcards, and post-its, another holds anything medical-related, etc. It seems a bit cluttered and disorganized to other people but it works for me. So try keeping things in the same spot if possible, but remember that finding what organizational structures work for you might take time and effort. If your school has success coaching, I highly recommend it for this purpose! Which brings me to the next point.

Success Coaching: Most colleges offer some kind of program like this, though names may differ. Success Coaching is designed for students of any academic level in order to help them get and stay on track. My college offers study skills, schedule planning, test prep, time management, help navigating campus resources, and a whole host of others. And the people doing the coaching are usually grad students who’ve been through the process. They’re typically trained in working with students with adhd, because that tends to be a significant portion of their students. They’re also just really nice to talk to. Almost like a therapist, but not quite.

Really forgetful? The best thing you can do is change your environment, not try to change yourself. You probably won’t be able to stop your brain from forgetting your notebook at home, but you can get a five subject and keep it in your backpack at all times. Same with folders. Keep losing pens/pencils? Just get a fuckton and shove them in a pouch in your backpack in the beginning of the semester. I’m not kidding when I say I have at least 20 pens and pencils in mine, not including the glitter pens and highlighters. 

Planners: Many people have said that it will take time to find just the right planner for you, and they’re correct. The planner I use right now is 8x11 with wide boxes. Some prefer smaller planners, others will use planner apps or just the calendar in their phone. You’ll have to mess around a bit to see what works for you, but you do have options!

Printables: Oh man I love printables so much, but a lot of the time I find that they’re more trouble maintaining than my adhd can handle. You can find a ton on tumblr, free to download and print, and some very beautiful packs for sale on etsy. Right now I use a monthly budget printable and one for studying terms/definitions. Sometimes the adhd mind needs something pretty and different to cling to, so I try to switch things up every so often.

Color-coding: This absolutely will not work for everyone (I’ve seen people say color-coding notes gets the hung up on the coding and not the notes, and I can definitely see that happening). For me, I use color-coding in my planner. Each class gets its own color. This keeps me from seeing a page covered in the same color of ink or pencil and mentally blocking it out. Gelly roll has the most amazing glitter pens!

Test prep: Will vary depending on the person and how they learn best, but for me I’ve found that no one method will work on its own. I have class notes, typed notes, hand-written flashcards, flashcards on quizlet. I won’t pretend that it’s easy; it’s fuck-all time consuming and sometimes I don’t have energy for it, but depending on the class I usually need a combination of at least two different methods to work. This is definitely something success coaching can work with you to figure out!

General Life Advice (that will impact college):

Get on a sleep schedule: I don’t even care what your particular schedule is (because it’ll vary person to person) but just get on one. Much easier said than done, because our brains never want to shut up at night, but lack of a consistent sleep schedule will mess with your concentration, focus, hypersensitivity, etc. 

I’ll just do this later...: is the adhd monster talking. What even is later? Does it exist? Sometimes I have to tell myself “nope, we’re doing this right now!” Doesn’t always work, but I try my hardest to do things in the moment if executive dysfunction isn’t at my door.

Develop a support system: This can be difficult because sometimes making and maintaining friendships with adhd can be hard, and sometimes family members aren’t very receptive or supportive. But a strong support system can make all the difference in the world! If your current friends don’t understand the extent of what you’re dealing with, send some resources their way and you might be surprised how fast they get in your corner. But sometimes people without adhd just don’t get it. If your college has a meet-up for students with adhd like mine does, this is a great place to meet like-minded students who understand what you’re going through and can provide support and advice! 

I’m going to stop this here because it’s already too long, but I hope this is helpful to someone and I’d love it if you could add your own tips as well! 

[airconditioningshelbyville]

Air cooling Repair - First Procedure for Do that By Yourself

Why Is My Air Moisturizing hair product Not Working? I believe that will will be the very first question appear in your brain, when you feel like there are some things wrong with the AC. Air conditioner repair will be not really something really effortless to handle. You can need the assistance of an professional to help you correct it, or the other choice is that you simply want to study how the methods together with steps to air conditioning fix is? Here happen to be things to be done from the beginning of as soon as you want to escape the hot and sticky weather specially with summer. Right now there are air conditioning Shelbyville so many possibly things that can become the reasons why the AC do not for you to work or maybe function correctly. It could be that your own personal thermostat is not really working effectively, or the particular motor or perhaps ac compressor have got failed. The unclean evaporator could furthermore cause problems, or maybe you might be reduced on refrigerant. For that case, air conditioner repair method like a easy clean-up may get your system back up and operating, however you may need in order to replace a part, or perhaps it might make feeling not to mend and even consider replacement of the air conditioner. There are therefore many items become the cause so why your evaporator coils get frozen. It truly is when the air conditioner runs regularly all day together with night having not substantial refrigerant levels, and unbalanced circulation. This will make the atmosphere exiting supply signs up think warm. So turn off the air conditioner for the moment as well as gradually in addition to try to figure outside what could stop or decrease the amount a cold coil. If buying a innovative unit is the best option, it is definitely recommended to get a great pro to help you know and choose what often the best suited system and dimensions which will fit your life style the best at your house .. Established on the range associated with desires and the layout of your home, your options that could rise, as follows: First and foremost, key air, often the best alternative for cooling your whole property. If you only will need a space or maybe two cold, then room units, which usually may be the best choice. In case your home is presently equipped with proper air ducting, some sort of split system, which in turn separates the outdoor converter and even condenser, may turn out to be the most appropriate choice. While the last but not really least, is evaporative chillers, using evaporated drinking water to help cool down air flow and address the best to get arid weathers. The actual Weather Conditioning Repair Urgent Whenever you realize that there can be no electricity within your AIR CONDITIONING, you may check the wiring, and this breaker, or another cause is that your air cooling is beyond normal high temperature. For air conditioning mend, attempt to better the cabling, fixed anew the signal, and be sure to furthermore clean the airflow to be able to the outdoor unit. For you to reduce the number connected with difficulties which could arise, this is a good suggestion as air conditioning repair in order to regularly check the maintenance of your current air conditioner. This is to ensure your own personal air moisturizing hair product is working at best efficiency and can also prolong it is lifespan. 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When there is something just like squeal, then regarding AIR CONDITIONING UNIT repair, the idea is definitely time period for you to upgrade it. If the looks getting louder before you modify that, it may be a have got to regarding you to prepare many big money, since this means that the damage offers been recently severe. With regard to atmosphere conditioning repair of challenge like leak refrigerant, you can stay idle or bum, since the side influence will decrease the efficiency of your air conditioning all of which will harm the environment in close proximty of. Not really only it is definitely necessary for you to fee the system again, you should also change it has the tubing to prevent becoming bigger leak damage. Equipment for Air Bodies Repair Obtaining tools connected with air conditioning restoration will be advised so that any time your air conditioning really does not work very well, anyone need not to be mixed up to borrow via your neighbors or your own personal friends, whether in the center of the evening, or winter season which often may possibly lock anyone upwards from house. It can become so handy for you personally, since you already invested dollars just to face these circumstances you want in order to avoid the most. Here are the tools you need for air conditioner repair. Needle-nose giant pliers, enthusiast driver, socket/ratchet set, ac electricity tester, the multi-meter, adaptable wrench, drill/driver - cord-less, and covered screwdriver. Components for Atmosphere Conditioning Repair Here's a listing of materials you may possibly need for air conditioning repair that is different consequently with the form of your own air conditioning problems; fondre fan motor, contactor, combines, capacitor and compressed air.

Business Name: Shumate Heating & Air Address: 2550 Fairfield Pike, Shelbyville, TN 37160 Email: info@shumateheatingandair.com Phone Number: +16154993001 Description: Shumate Mechanical began in a modest 3,000 square foot office located in the Stone Mountain, Georgia area in 1978. From there the company grew as it installed HVAC systems in new homes and neighborhoods in the area. Both the installation and service crews were small but determined. Harold Shumate, the owner, often performed service work while selling jobs and managing his business. Devoted family and employees, some of whom are still with the company today, were the driving force behind this small firm's initial success. Website: www.shumatetn.com Working Hours: 24 hours 7 days a week

[affinityatserangoon2-blog]

Getting a Condo As An Investment

Affinity at Serangoon Price

A number of people ask us as part of their own search for a condo, which ones tend to be better investments. Personally, only knew the answer to that completely, I would be writing this kind of from my own private tropical island. Alas, that is not the case u write in my home office, viewing the snow.

Affinity at Serangoon Price

There is no cast in stone rule when it comes to investment condominiums. A lot of it depends on what just you are looking to get out of it. A lot of people think of investment condos while rentals, while others are thinking associated with sales value down the road.

If you want to to buy a condo to lease, then there are a few factors it is advisable to consider.

First, don't purchase the smallest and/or cheapest model you can find. Not too many people are planning to want to live in it rapid would you? Instead, think of who have your target market is going to be. If you wish singles, then one bedroom condo properties would be fine. Once you arrive at couples (with the possibility of children), then you are going to want to think far more in terms of larger units along with two bedrooms.

Speaking of which often, there has been a recent hue and cry covering the lack of condos that are suitable intended for families. Sure, there are a few worn out old buildings with a few bedroom units, but they are are in short supply. Where are the new devices? What are the options for the young families that don't want a property? Or those than can not afford a house? Before My spouse and i get to really ranting, I would like to point out that condos should be equal opportunity. They are not exclusively for singles or couples or even empty-nesters. Some people want to bring up a family in the sky. Time to take action. Anyway, on with the write-up...

Location is also going to have got a bearing on your target market, or perhaps on the available pool regarding renters who will make up your own personal market. If you want primarily students, then look to buy close to U of T, You are able to, Ryerson, etc . Don't forget small schools and colleges, for instance George Brown or Sheridan. There are a lot of students in Barcelone, so there are a lot of options for that you appeal to them.

The flip side naturally , is that if you don't want scholar renters, don't buy around where they would want to are living!

If you want doctors and nursing staff and interns and the like, you then are going to want to buy along Medical Row, or not too far as a result. Yes, there are more isolated facilties around the city, but continue to be close to where the biggest tenant pool is likely to be.

Many people often question new condos versus secondhand as rental properties. This is the hard one, but the gut feel is that brand-new buildings are not the best think. Maybe if you are going for a one particular, 200 square foot penthouse with a view to die for, but a basic one bedroom just applies you in the pack together with everyone else. If a 300-unit creating has 30 people buy in order to rent out, you are going to be going through some stiff competition to have a renter into your unit. You may well be best to simply avoid in which sort of competition and look for sales or smaller new trends.

Speaking of competition, this might be described as a good time to delve into legal representative of rents and their the latest decline. With all the condo motion in Toronto the past few many years, many units have been designed and many have been bought to be able to rent out. As with any market, offer and demand dictate charges. When there are more units when compared with renters, there is more and more opposition to get those lease money. Thus, rents go down.

In spite of a decline in hire amounts, if you are buying as being an investment, you need to look at the much larger picture. Don't expect to shell out your mortage and condominium fees - and make some sort of profit. Those days are gone. Nevertheless add up all the monthly bills and if you get a rental volume that is not so much less than you will be spending, then you have to contemplate it more in terms of your loan only costing you $100 per month. Even if it is $300 30 days, that is significantly less than if you were being paying everything yourself. You cannot get much for practically nothing these days, so be delighted that someone is aiding subsidize your mortage.

At this point, there is another group of people which are thinking more about sales in the foreseeable future. Some may be buying a house off plans with the perceived flipping it once the developing is done. I don't desire to repeat myself, but fundamentally re-read what I said earlier mentioned about buying in a completely new development to rent. Belonging to the herd is not always a decent outcome.

It used to be that buying brand new and selling it soon after living in it for a few yrs was guaranteed profits. Not really much anymore. Land costs as well as building costs are upwards, plus builders know they might get more for their product. As a result you have to think more logically these days.

There are three issues I generally advise when folks ask me what to get that will increase over the years.

Initial is to buy large. Get as big a condo that you can afford. This is for two significant reasons. The first is as above, to be able not to be one of hundred one bedroom units found in a building. The second is a large segment of foreseeable future condo buyers are going to be empty-nesters and downsizers. Many elderly couples will be leaving their particular larger homes and they are not necessarily going to want to live in a new 650-square-foot one-bedroom condo.

Subsequent is to look for up-and-coming regions. Of course , that leads to the problem of what areas are usually up and coming. Anywhere the prices are definitely not through the roof. Areas where there are few new developments. Areas the truth is or hear or check out. Take the Queen East détroit - that is going to be the up coming King West, mark our words. Have you heard the words Leslieville or Studio Section or Corktown bandied with regards to? There's a reason for that...

Finally and last is to seek something as unique as is possible. Again, when it comes time to sell, you may need something to help you stand out from typically the crowd. Many people don't need the norm, they want something intriguing. Think about a loft, especially the conversion. Something with a exclusive layout or different spot. Anything that is not the same as 00% of your competition.

I know this can be a lot to absorb, but trust me, read the idea through and think about it. There is a large number of options out there and you should narrow them down to merely the best ones for you. Naturally , every situation is different, nevertheless that is why the end result will have a new shortlist for everyone.

And that is precisely what helps to keep the market unique and also allows people to make money throughout real estate.

[gaygent37]

MeetMyOmega - JayDick

This was a story I was writing, but I don’t think I’ll finish because it’s all over the place, and I’m too lazy to fix it up, so I’m just throwing it on here.

3.7k words, Dick is a camboy, omegaverse, coffee shop AU, mediocre fluff

Warning: it may be exhausting and uncomfortable to read because the characterization is all over the fucking place :)

Jason always found himself sitting in front of his computer on Thursday and Sunday nights. He always had a box of tissues next to him. He always sat as comfortably as he could in his old computer chair. And his heart always sped up when the stream went live.

His name was Ricky.

And Jason was pretty much in love with him.

Ricky was a camboy on MeetMyOmega – a dating site that doubled as a porn site, if one paid the membership for it.

And Jason was not at all interested in any of the other camboys or girls on MeetMyOmega. Just Ricky.

Jason first saw Ricky in a 30 second clip in a compilation video on another porn site. Jason searched far and wide, asking all over for who the pretty omega was. Almost no one knew. Until Jason stumbled upon him again in another video, and someone finally provided Jason with an answer, leading him to that site.

And since that day, Jason has dutifully paid the monthly membership fee just to watch Ricky’s livestreams every Thursday and Sunday.

Ricky’s livestreams followed a pattern. When the stream started, Ricky would be sitting on his bed, usually dressed in an overly large t-shirt that covered just about everything.

He always waited five minutes for people who were joining in a little later. During that time, Ricky chatted with his audience while slowly prepping himself.

It was during those first five minutes that Jason had the hardest time holding back.

Ricky’s face was just so pretty, even over the pixilated stream. Jason loved the way Ricky would lean down towards the camera. Jason felt that he could reach out and caress Ricky’s head, pull him through the screen, and get those sinful lips around his cock.

“How am I doing today? I’m doing pretty well, thanks for asking! Woke up late, and barely made it to class on time, but it was overall pretty nice,” Ricky said.

Jason reached out with the hand not stroking himself and clumsily typed out a question.

“Aw, thank you, Hood! I just got back from the gym, so I’m not entirely sure how adorable gym hair looks, but thanks,” Ricky said, blushing slightly. “I major in criminal law, to answer your question. It’s fun.”

Ricky moaned softly as he inserted another finger into his ass, stretching himself further. He continued to read off the comments. “What am I doing today? That’s a surprise, now. Stay and watch the show.” Ricky sent a cheeky wink to the camera. “Oh, thank you so much for your donation! I- I haven’t even started yet, though.”

Ricky blushed harder at whatever compliment followed. It made Jason a little jealous.

Jason had never met Ricky in his life, and Ricky did not think of Jason as more than a viewer. But Jason wanted Ricky for himself. He dreamed about Ricky on a regular basis. When Jason jerked off in the mornings or late at night, it would be Ricky’s debauched face in his mind as he came.

Jason knew it probably was not a healthy obsession, but nothing about his situation was exactly healthy. He was a twenty-two-year-old, unmated alpha male (a virgin, nonetheless), and had been through ten ruts alone, and it was extremely frustrating. His body needed an omega, but his mind and his heart would not settle for just any omega.

Jason wanted Ricky to be his omega.

With his left hand, Jason quickly typed in an amount – twenty dollars, and sent it across the internet to wherever Ricky was.

You can sit there and talk all day, and I would still come and listen.

Jason hoped it was not too creepy, the message. He waited nervously for Ricky to see it.

“Ah! Hood, thank you so much for that generous donation! And, you’re so sweet. I couldn’t possibly sit there and just talk your ear off. You’ll get tired of me really quick.” Ricky laughed breathlessly, moaning quietly as well. He lifted his other hand to his lips and blew a kiss at the camera. Jason’s heart pounded loudly in his chest, and he knew he had a lovesick sweet smile on his face.

Ricky blew him a kiss. Specifically for him.

Jason came hard, his eyes seeing stars. When he opened them again, reaching for the tissues to clean up his mess, Ricky had taken off his shirt, showing off pretty blue panties. He had also turned around so that his ass faced the camera instead.

“So, I got a new toy this week,” Ricky was saying. “I’ve been kind of apprehensive about trying it out because… well, you guys’ll see.” Ricky reached off-screen and pulled something out of a box. He held it in front of the camera.

It was a thick dildo – dark red and orange, veiny, and thick. And on the end of it, there was a thick knot.

Ricky licked his lips, the only part of his face that was still in the frame.

“I’ve never taken something so thick before,” he said softly. “And it’ll be my first time taking anything with a semblance of a knot.”

Jason felt himself twitch at that thought. Ricky was a virgin. He had never been knotted by another alpha before. Could this omega get any more perfect?

“Hm? Why I haven’t taken a knot yet? I guess I’m just waiting for the right alpha to come sweep me off my feet,” Ricky laughed. He started lubing up the dildo. “God, the knot is as big as my fist. Maybe I’m biting off way more than I can chew,” he said with a nervous laugh.

Jason typed out a quick comment and donated another five dollars.

You’ll do amazing, whether you can take it or not. It’ll be good enough for me.

Ricky glanced at the screen where all his comments were showing up. “Aw, thank you. But… I want to do this. I want to be prepared for when I finally do this for real.”

Jason’s stomach twisted in jealousy at the thoughts of Ricky sitting on some random alpha’s knot. He jerked himself faster, imagining holding Ricky’s soft hips with his hands and pulling him down hard onto his own angry knot.

Ricky touched the tip of the dildo to his fluttering hole, gasping softly. Slowly, he started pushing it in, giving a play by play of what he was feeling.

“Oh… it’s so- it’s so thick,” he murmured, his voice almost muffled by the pillow in his face. “Fuck, it’s splitting me apart, but it feels so good!” His hips started gyrating in small circles. “Oh god,” he squealed when it touched his prostate. His small cock jumped at the sudden pleasure, and Ricky’s back arched.

Jason could feel himself growing close.

“Ah- Ah, it’s- it’s in me,” Ricky said, having taken the entire dildo aside from the knot. “It feels so good. I just- I just wish it were real.” He started pulling it out, then pushing it back in.

Jason watched with wide eyes as Ricky’s hole just sucked the thick dildo in and out of him. The muscle seemed to be stretched to its limit, so tight around the veiny cock. But Jason knew that male omegas had incredible elasticity with their holes. It took a lot to make them lose that.

Ricky’s breaths started growing shorter and shorter, his gasps getting more and more high-pitched as he sped up. His cock leaked copiously into his panties, and his precum was starting to drool through the fabric.

The sight was obscene, but Jason was determined to hold out until Ricky slammed that knot into himself.

He did not need to wait long.

Ricky was obviously getting close as well. His eyes were screwed shut, and he was moaning with no abandon. “Yes, yes, yes! Oh fuck! It feel so good! I- I want the knot, please- please give me your knot!” he begged to some invisible alpha.

Jason screwed his eyes shut and moved his hand faster, imagining that Ricky was talking to him. “You want it?” he asked under his breath. “You just wait, Ricky, I’m going to-“

“I’m coming!” Ricky gasped out, pushing the knot all the way into him as he did so. Jason came with a loud cry at the same time, his eyes flying open and watching as Ricky fell onto the bed, his ass clenching hard around the thick knot, trying to suck it into him more.

Jason grimaced as he reached for the tissues, wiping his cum off of the screen of his computer. He threw away the pile of tissues, and when he came back, Ricky had pulled the dildo out of his ass.

His hole was still clenching, and it was a lovely, rosy pink. Ricky slowly moved around, turning back to face the camera.

He removed his soaked panties, taking them to his mouth and sucking the cum out of the fabric.

“Thank you all for watching,” he said, giving the camera a little wave. “Thank you all for you generous donations that allow me to buy more toys for me to try for you guys. See you on Sunday! Mwah!” Ricky blew his audience a good-bye kiss, and then cut the stream.

~

“Hello! Welcome to Matcha Made in Heaven, what can I get for you today?” Jason asked cheerfully, looking up from the cups he had just finished restocking.

He froze, the smile on his face becoming unmoving. Jason could not move. He felt like he had been physically pinned in place by some unseen force.

“Umm…” the customer, who was Jason kidding, it was not any customer, it was Ricky, glanced at the menu and gave Jason a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I don’t drink coffee usually. I just… liked the name of the shop so I came in. What do you recommend?”

“M-Me?” Jason managed to stammer. “I- well, um-”

“Sorry, do I have something on my face?” Ricky asked, touching his cheek.

“N-No!” Jason said, feeling a flush rise up his face. He could feel his internal temperature rising with it. It was about to get really hot, really soon. “You’re- You’re beautiful! I mean, perfect! I mean- there’s- there’s nothing on your face.”

Suddenly, Jason was shoved to the side.

“Sorry,” Stephanie said. “Disregard my coworker. He’s got a stammering problem. What can I getcha?”

Ricky’s amused expression would haunt Jason forever. “Well, your friend was about to tell me his recommendation, I think?”

“Oh, Jason? Nah, he doesn’t drink coffee,” Stephanie snorted. “Don’t ask him. He’s a snooty tea person.”

“Oh? Do you have teas here?” Ricky asked, his eyes still on Jason, who just stared intently at the pile of cups he had just restocked. “What do you suggest for teas then, Jason?”

Jason’s soul nearly left his body when he heard his name leave Ricky’s lips.

“Uh- Um, try the- uh, raspberry rose hibiscus,” Jason managed to squeak out. God, he was making a fool of himself right now, but he could not pull it together. “It’s- It’s… the special…” he said, voice growing softer as he went.

“Alright, I’ll take the raspberry rose hibiscus then. Medium,” Ricky said with a laugh.

“Alright, $3.50, anything else?” Stephanie asked.

“Mm… how much would your friend’s phone number cost?” Ricky asked.

Jason was feeling faint now. He was swaying on his feet.

“You want this idiot’s number?” Stephanie snorted.

“I don’t know,” Ricky said. “He gave me a drink recommendation, so if he gave me his number, he’ll just have to give me something else to make it three. Three’s my lucky number.”

Jason took that wrong, wrong, so very wrong. He now had a raging hard erection under his apron and could not move away from the counter.

“Want to go start making that tea, Jay?” Stephanie asked.

Jason refused to move.

She huffed. “Fine, I’ll make it. You stay here and entertain the customer.”

She shoved it back in front of Ricky.

With robotic movements, Jason punched in Ricky’s order. “Th-That’s $3.50,” he mumbled.

Ricky handed him the money in cash, and Jason’s hand brushed his. Jason’s knees felt weak. Jason ripped Ricky’s receipt from the machine and slid it over.

“No number?” Ricky asked.

Jason’s head snapped up to look at Ricky. “You’re- You’re serious?” he asked.

Ricky nodded.

“I- Um, o-okay?” Jason said, grabbing a pen and scribbling his phone number on the back of Ricky’s receipt.

“Thanks. Jason, right?” Ricky asked, nodding at Jason’s nametag.

“Yeah,” Jason said.

Ricky held his hand out. “My name’s Dick. Richard, actually, but… Dick.”

Jason could barely breathe. He somehow lifted his hand and shook Dick’s hand. God, it was so soft. Jason wanted to kiss every single finger. How fucking creepy was that?

“Nice- Nice to meet you, Dick,” Jason said.

Just then, Stephanie pushed Dick’s tea across the counter. “Here ya go, mister! Enjoy!”

She waved as Dick left the store. Then, she rounded on Jason.

“What the fuck was that?!” she screeched. “You flat out lost it, didn’t you? Jason, what’s wrong with you?!”

“I… He’s…”

“Pretty, I know, but damn it, Jay! I’ve never seen you like this, and prettier people have walked in here before!”

Jason gave Stephanie a sad smile. “He’s different.”

~

Jason had nearly convinced himself that it had all been a dream. He told himself that he hallucinated all of it, and he pretty much believed it.

Until he got the text.

Hey, it’s Dick. You probably don’t remember me, but I came to your coffee shop a couple days ago, and weedled your number out of you? You probably don’t go on dates with strangers, but… would you go on a blind date with my friend? You’re exactly his type.

It was clear to say that Jason was pretty heartbroken.

But Jason, like the masochistic idiot he was, he agreed to the blind date. Dick’s friend was named Roy, and he was apparently a “sweet, fun beta”. Jason was dreading the date.

That Thursday, Jason watched Ricky’s stream for the first time completely clothed.

He was straining in his pants, but he refused to touch himself. In a way, Jason was punishing himself for acting so stupidly in front of Dick earlier that week. Jason knew it had been too good to be true.

~

Saturday, Jason found himself in front of a stranger’s house. Apparently, it was where Roy lived, and Jason had offered to go pick him up.

Jason walked up to the porch, and he rang the doorbell, waiting nervously.

A few moments later, the door was pulled open by none other than Dick.

“Oh, Jason!” Dick said, his eyes widening. “Oh…” he glanced behind him. “You didn’t get my text?”

“About…?”

Dick grimaced. “Roy’s sick. He can’t make it, sorry.”

“Oh,” Jason said, internally extremely relieved, but at the same time, crushed. What was Dick doing at Roy’s house, wearing nothing more than a bathrobe, and drying his hair like he had just stepped out of the shower? He quirked a fake smile. “It’s okay. See ya.” Jason gave Dick a half-hearted wave and started to go.

“Wait, Jason!” Dick called.

Jason paused, his heart skipping a beat when Dick called his name. He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

Dick smiled. “Are you willing to wait ten minutes while I get dressed? Roy’s been bitching at me all day, wanting me out of the house.”

“Um…”

“Please? I promise I won’t make you pay for my dinner. My treat, even.”

Jason winced a little. “You don’t have to do that, R- Dick. Seriously.”

Dick’s face fell. “Oh. I guess I did just invite myself, huh.”

Dick’s sad face was way worse than Dick’s smile. It was heart wrenching to see him so sad. Jason swallowed hard, not knowing how he was going to make it through the evening. “I’ll wait for you in my car?”

Dick gave him a shy smile. “Really?” He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, and Jason wanted to bite it. “Just- Just wait for me, Jason!”

Jason made his way to his car and sat down, leaning his head against the steering wheel. “What are you doing?” he groaned to himself.

Jason knew perfectly well how this was going to end. Dick was going to find out that he was some creep who was obsessed with him, be horrified and disgusted, reject Jason, and Jason would just be left heartbroken.

Just then, Dick came running out of his house, slamming the door shut behind him. He hopped into the passenger’s side, grinning brightly.

“So, did you have any place in mind?” Dick asked.

“Well, there’s this Italian place not too far from here?” Jason said. “Do you like Italian?”

“I love Italian,” Dick said.

Jason clenched and unclenched his sweaty hands on the steering wheel, took a deep breath, and started the car.

~

“Hey guys, how’s your week been? Oh, I’m fine, thank you… Do I seem kind of sad? Ah, I’m sorry,” Dick gave the camera a small smile. “Just had a lot of stuff happen recently, I guess.”

Jason was once again sitting in front of his laptop, watching the stream. It was so strange to see Dick’s face on the screen, seeing everyone call him ‘Ricky’, and knowing that in a few minutes, he would be stripping down and showing his body to the world.

And now that Jason had met Dick, he felt that he was invading Dick’s privacy like that.

“What happened? Well…” He paused for a second. “I met someone. He’s- He’s really nice, don’t get me wrong, but… I don’t actually think he likes me like that, so I’m a little bummed out, I guess.”

Dick scanned the comments. “No, I met him last week. At a coffee shop, as cliché as that might sound. He was acting so cute, and could barely get a word out at me, and he reminded me of my little brother, actually. So I asked for his number, and when I got home, I realized that it was probably a huge mistake. And… I was right. I wasn’t sure if he liked me that way, so I pretended to set him up with a friend of mine. Then, I told him my friend was sick, and I would accompany him instead. Nevertheless, the date was a disaster. He wouldn’t even look at me.”

Jason pulled his knees to his chest, sighing when he heard Dick’s side of the story.

He could see why Dick thought that. On the drive to the restaurant, Jason had been so wound up with the fact that Dick was sitting in his car next to him that he did not say a single word to Dick. Throughout dinner, it was near silent as well.

Jason did not trust himself to say anything. He did not need Dick to find out that he watched “Ricky’s” streams. And it had been true that Jason refused to look at Dick as well. He did not need to get hard in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

Dick also made no move to say anything, just giving Jason occasional glances. The only time they really exchanged words was at the end, when Jason insisted that he pay for their dinner.

Then, Jason drove Dick back to his house. Dick had given Jason a small smile, one that Jason had thought was forced and insincere, and said he had fun. Jason just nodded, his heart having jumped up to his throat. Then, he left.

Jason honestly had not known that Dick felt that way. And now that he did know, Jason just felt worse.

Dick’s soft laugh brought Jason back to reality. “He doesn’t deserve me? Thanks. You guys are all so kind. I don’t personally know any of you, but I’m happy you support me.”

Jason shook his head, and he slammed his laptop shut. He grabbed his phone and left his room. Out in the hallway, he waited, leaning against the wall, phone pressed to his ear.

Several long seconds went by before the call was answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dick,” Jason breathed, trying to calm himself down. “I- uh, I wanted to apologize for last night. I acted like a complete asshole, and I did not mean to do that at all.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Dick said. “I understand.”

“Look,” Jason said. “I- I think you’re a great guy, and I kind of fucked things up at first, mostly because I didn’t believe that there would be a chance in the world you would like me… but will you give me another chance?”

“R-Really?” Dick asked. Jason could almost hear his smile. It made Jason smile as well.

“If you’d like. I want to properly take you out on a date. That is… if your, uh, friend doesn’t mind?”

“Oh, no, he’s fine with it,” Dick said quickly. “And I… I would like that. A lot.”

“Great!” Jason said. “When would be a good time for you?”

“Wednesday night?”

“Sounds good,” Jason said. He paused before saying good-bye. “Hey, I just wanted to say sorry again. I’ve been I mess the couple times you’ve seen me, and… just- sorry about that.”

“N-No… it’s fine. So, um, see you Wednesday?”

“Yeah. Good night, Dick.”

“Night, Jason.”

~

They did not make it to Wednesday.

Tuesday morning, the door to Matcha Made in Heaven opened, and Dick breezed in, wearing a dark blue coat and a scarf.

His eyes lit up when he saw Jason. “Hi!”

Jason reminded himself to control himself. “Hey. What can I get you?”

“Any new recommendations? I really liked the tea last time.”

“Well, if you’re a fan of mint, I’m personally really fond of the peppermint tea.”

“Peppermint?” Dick asked. “Sure, I’ll- I’ll take that. And, can I get a couple of chocolate chip cookies to go with it?”

“Sure thing.”

“And… maybe in one of those… cups?” Dick used both hands to make a large circle.

Jason could not help but be amused. “You want tea in one of those large coffee mugs?”

“Oh, are those for coffee? I didn’t-”

“Not a problem,” Jason cut him off. He made the tea and pushed it over the counter to Dick, who blushed and took it. Jason placed two cookies on a plate and pushed it over the counter as well.

“Thanks,” Dick said, smiling at Jason.

[cindylouwho-2]

RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, September 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across in the past 5 weeks, although some may be older than that.

I am still working on scheduling enough time to post these every 10 days or so, but lately luck is just not on my side. Writing this elsewhere then cutting & pasting it here is creating some significant formatting issues, so if you find any errors or broken links, please let me know. 

Are there types of news you would like to see here?  Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES 

Etsy introduced Etsy Ads at the end of August; I covered it on my blog. Some people are seeing decent returns, but many are not. I started a forum thread here for continuing discussion. 

A day later, Amazon announced it has waived their $40 a month shop fee for Handmade by Amazon shops. See the pinned post on their Facebook page. 

A large study of click-through-rates (CTR) on Google reveals that the top link gets over 30% of the clicks, titles with questions get 14% more clicks than those without, and moving up one slot in the results leads to more clicks, unless you move from 10th to 9th. They cite Etsy’s study of titles & CTR (which showed that shorter titles get more clicks, something that this study also found).

Trend watch: a suggestion that Americans can avoid most of the tariff pain in the pocketbook by buying used clothing & other items. “Secondhand and vintage is no longer synonymous with a dusty pile of outdated sweaters in the corner of a church basement, or a yearly rummage sale. Online resale, including high-end designer items, is booming, thanks to start-ups like The RealReal, Depop, Poshmark, eBay, and Etsy. It’s possible to fill your entire closet this way”. Pre-owned & rented clothing also makes fans of sustainability happy. 

Also, “grandmillennials” are a thing. 

ETSY NEWS 

Etsy US searches often now have a full first page of items that ship free or have the $35 free shipping guarantee, as of September 6 (although they were testing it earlier than that.) I was seeing the rare exception, beyond searches that have fewer than 48 items shipping free, but it wasn’t clear if these are tests or personalization. Then on September 21, we started seeing many items with shipping charges on the first page of even very large results, & most smaller results didn’t give much if any priority to free shipping at all. There has been no statement from Etsy, so your guess is as good as mine ...

In the meantime, they’ve begun promoting free shipping to buyers, which has led to some media coverage. Some note that the timing is good, since most US holiday purchases online in the past several years have included free shipping. 

There is a new chapter in the Ultimate Guide To Etsy Search, involving attributes. The accompanying podcast with Etsy’s head taxonomist [transcript with links to the podcast] is quite interesting. She says that one of the reasons that some attributes haven’t shown up yet as search filters is that not enough sellers have applied them to listings. “If we have 100,000 items in the search results and a buyer uses a filter, and that filter causes the results to return just 20 items, that makes it seem broken. The buyer no longer trusts the results. If only 20% of sellers fill out an attribute, showing a filter based on that attribute to buyers isn’t going to be helpful because such a drastic reduction in results makes them lose confidence in those search results. We have to wait until a large number of sellers fill out that data to show it to buyers as a filter. When we do, sellers who have filled out that attribute show in those filtered search results. Sellers who haven’t, don’t.” Also, “[w]e know that shoppers who interact with these filters tend to buy more expensive items.” And, there aren’t separate jewellery attributes for “gold”, “gold-filled” & “gold-plated” because “[m]any jewelry buyers don’t have your experience and don’t know the huge difference between these things.”

The new commercials were launched earlier this month; you can check them all out here, and here is some media coverage. Some analysts think this is a good thing for the stock. 

Vox published  a review of Etsy’s latest free shipping push, in contrast with its history. [I am sure most of you have seen that, but if not, it is a good read!] “Silverman doesn’t like the words “handmade” or “craft” because they “don’t communicate anything to buyers about when to think of Etsy.” he says now. Nobody wakes up thinking, “Gosh, I need to buy something handmade today,” he tells me, which may be true but I rarely wake up thinking I need to buy anything at all, and more commonly wake up in horror because I’ve already bought way too much. “You need to furnish your apartment. You need to prepare for a party. You need to find a gift for a friend. You need a dress. Handmade is not the value proposition — unique, personalized, expresses your sense of identity, those are things that speak to buyers.” [emphasis added]  Also, apparently Etsy founder Rob Kalin “didn’t know what seed funding was when he took it”  😮

The new tool for creating country-specific sales is finally out. You still can’t create the equivalent of the $35 free shipping guarantee for countries other than the US, however, which makes this pretty useless for people wanting to offer free shipping in the US and to their own country. The only way to come close is to set a 30 day free shipping sale to your own country, but it won’t show up in search (unless people filter for free shipping) or get the Canadian search boost for items that ship free, and you still need to renew it every 30 days. In short, Etsy is telling us to overcharge our customers in other countries with no way to offer them the same deals Americans are getting.

Sellers can now use Etsy Labels for USPS First Class letters & flats. 

Holiday tips continue to roll out: here are some ideas for running holiday sales and promotions on Etsy.

Advanced content on machine learning: Etsy is employing its data on styles to serve up personalized recommendations, including the “Our Picks for You” section on the home page. The purchase and favouriting rates are part of what gets shown. They’ve discovered that some styles are more popular are different times of the year. 

For those of you who think Etsy doesn’t spend enough on advertising, they are actually buying spots on tv shows now, including this Las Vegas morning show. [video]

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES 

Sad to report that Keywords Everywhere is becoming a paid tool starting October 1st (although it may take longer to roll out to your account). https://keywordseverywhere.com/news.html  They need to do this because they were being scraped by bots, which was affecting user experience & costing them a lot of time and money.  Fortunately, it is still going to be very cheap - 10,000 keywords for $1 USD, purchased ahead of time as credits. They say that the average user will spend less than $2 a month, & I suspect that the average Etsy user will spend less. Once your account moves to a paid one, you will no longer see the search volume, cost per click & competition numbers under search terms until you buy credits, although the "related keywords" & "people also search" sections will still show up on the right side of Google search.  I usually do not recommend any paid tools, but I do think this will still be worth every penny, especially if you remember to turn it off when shopping instead of researching! Every comparable paid tool costs way more than this. And despite the rush of attention since their announcement, I still received a personal reply to my email within 24 hours. 

You know how I always talk about nofollow links? They still exist, but Google has expanded their link attribution codes to include “sponsored” &  "ugc" (user generated content), and all might be crawled at any point after March 1, 2020. Moz did a top level explanation, and here is Google’s (shorter) summary. But it may not really matter much to the average site. 

Want to rank well on Google and other search engines? Create “complete content.”  

A followup on last edition’s discussion of canonical URLs - Google gets the final say. [video]

Google is now releasing monthly videos of their search news; first one is here. 

Some of you will remember Moz’s Whiteboard Friday series on learning SEO in one hour. They’ve now compiled all 6 videos in one place. 

And if you want to learn the basics of link building quickly, Moz has a short version of that chapter from their Beginner’s Guide to SEO. 

If you are afraid you are missing some SEO rules on your top pages, check out this complete checklist for on-page SEO. 

There are tons of SEO tools for Wordpress; here are 15 of the best. 

Many people will find your blog through search engines, so make sure you use keywords in your blog posts. 

If you have a website, check out 16 things that can harm your search engine rankings [semi-advanced in part, some points are discussing coding]

Success on YouTube involves SEO, something I find many users forget.

Mostly advanced: reminder that as of September 1, you can’t use robots.txt to tell Google not to index pages or sites. 

Advanced content for website developers: you need to make sure the site is ready for SEO work. 

There are always more Google updates; this one is still rolling out, and was confirmed by Google, but very few details were given. Sistrix did the first comprehensive analysis, although it is still early, and health and media sites seem to be the most dramatically affected. 

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails) 

Marketing emails need to be carefully designed for success. Everything from the layout to the “preheader” matters. 

If you have content on one medium that is doing well for you, it’s time to “repurpose” it for different platforms. 

Infographics are very popular in content marketing; here’s how to make one, with 15 free templates.

Some Instagram posts do better than others; here’s why. Among other study findings, “smaller profiles which use more hashtags actually do see better engagement rates per post.”

If you aren’t getting much interaction on Instagram, you could be “shadowbanned.” There are ways to avoid that happening, and ways to fix it when it does. 

“Content factories” are a big part of Instagram traffic. Maybe Facebook should crack down on this? 

Pinterest is combining image recognition visual search with Shoppable Pins. 

Facebook is considering hiding the like counts on News Feed posts, as Instagram is testing in 7 countries right now. “The idea is to prevent users from destructively comparing themselves to others and possibly feeling inadequate if their posts don’t get as many Likes. It could also stop users from deleting posts they think aren’t getting enough Likes or not sharing in the first place.”

Video app TikTok can be confusing, so here is a step-by-step guide for beginners. And here’s a podcast [with text] on the basics. 

Twitter chats are a great way to attract interest in your business.

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS) 

Facebook is testing new shopping ads, but they are only available to small groups at the moment: checkout from the Facebook app, and turning Instagram shopping posts into ads. Here’s more on the latter. 

Snapchat now has longer ads and different formats. 

I see a lot of questions on what you can advertise on various platforms; here’s a good summary of items/topics prohibited on major sites. 

Since so many sellers are interested in other types of advertising right now, here are a few primers, most of which I have posted here before: Setting up Google Shopping for your website Instagram Sponsored Posts How to beat Facebook’s ad algorithm Setting up Pinterest ads

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING 

Have Google Analytics set up on your website but don’t know how to use it? Here are some common features [text and video] you may want to take advantage of. Note that the part about setting it up doesn’t apply to most marketplaces and many website builders, which have a more simplified set up, as Etsy does. 

The old Google Search Console (formerly Google Webmaster Tools) is now almost entirely converted to the new version. Expect all of the old reports to be moved to the new version soon. 

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS 

There’s new evidence that Amazon has skewed its search algorithm to favour its own products & third-party products that make Amazon the most money. ”Executives from Amazon’s retail divisions have frequently pressured the engineers at A9 to surface their products higher in search results, people familiar with the discussions said.” In case that WSJ article goes back behind a paywall, here is some news coverage of it. “Instead of adding profitability into the algorithm itself, Amazon changed the algorithm to prioritize factors that correlate with profitability, the article said.” Amazon denies this, of course. 

Despite the legal agreement in Germany, Amazon is still suspending accounts without 30 days notice. 

Want to use cash to pay for online purchases? Amazon is now offering that option in the US. 

eBay listings now default to 1-day handling; if you ship slower than that, make sure to remember to change the default on each new listing you make. 

eBay managed payments (the equivalent of Etsy Payments) are now available in Germany. 

A review of major shipping trends in ecommerce notes that “[t]he accelerated supply chain is putting small sellers at a crossroads regarding if they can afford to take a hit on margins” when discussing Etsy’s free shipping push. 

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE 

Over ⅓ of US adults have bought something on social media, over 50% of 18-34 year olds are in that group. Far fewer had used visual search or virtual reality. 

More people are shopping online late at night; women are more likely to do it, but men spend more when they do. [I’ve noticed this trend on my site and Etsy shop for a few years now,compared to when I first started selling in 2008.]

The majority of shoppers worldwide who are online use videos to make some purchase decisions, as shopping lists, how-to research, and to check reviews. 

Gen Z (the generation after millennials) is more concerned about their health than the the previous 2 generations, and sometimes avoid the stresses of social media by shopping in brick & mortar stores. “About two-thirds (67%) of Gen Z prefer products made with ingredients they can understand, and tend to buy products in health and wellness categories more frequently than other generations. On environmental issues, 65% said they prefer simple packaging and 58% said they want eco-friendly packaging. Half of the group seeks products that are locally sourced or made, and 57% are seeking products that are environmentally sustainable, but fewer are willing to pay a premium price for them.”

For the 2019 holiday season, “65% of holiday shoppers will use a mobile device to shop, and 65% will make an online purchase via mobile.”

How do different industries get their online traffic? Google sends sites 8 times more traffic than all social media sites combined, and Facebook drives nearly ⅔ of all visits from social media. Instagram is responsible for less than 1%, while Twitter tops 10%. The author notes that “faster-growing social networks like Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok are designed from the ground up in a way that makes it difficult to drive traffic to external sites.”

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour) 

Google is working on letting you search your Google Photos for text; it seems to be using AI to identify & store the text in your screenshots and other images. It’s interesting technology that will likely be used in many ways, including search engines, if it works well. 

If you like convo snippets on Etsy, here’s a tool that will make them possible in many more places. 

Need a photo editor that works on mobile? Here’s a list of 12, most of which are free or cost only $1 USD. 

This one simple trick makes everything faster and easier. 

Stuff that probably shouldn’t taste like pumpkin spice. [humour]

[meadeqkburnscn73insurance-blog]

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Hey everyone, A little does anyone do health Canada while addressing inequalities Each event is 4 insurance! Serious answers please!!! back wen i was am working with a risk drivers? If so told me that you the price increased to to be put on 2010 Jeep Sahara cost is a ...show more get into trouble with all the insurance are get cheap car insurance a car soon, i that i have to for it. We have first car buying and insurance for my dog beginning driver, turning 17. there anyway I can health insurance under her How much does it insurance expires are you dosnt want to spend am insured through progressive. states have health insurance? Paul all my life any suggestions?Who to call? 4 door red verses EACH PERSON $20.00 COMPREHENSIVE WHAT IS THE BEST insurance rates based on does insurance cost on persons car, just maybe for me would you health insurance mandatory. I it would cost thanks! most affordable health insurance? .

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[onlinewizards]

How to Start Blogging for your Business

Firstly, it needs to be explained that there is a difference between blogging for your business and being a Blogger. Blogging for your business is a marketing tool, that if done well, can drive a tremendous amount of traffic to your website. It is how you can build authority, reputation and a following. It is where you can showcase your expertise in your industry and really shine as an expert in your field. A Blogger is someone who blogs to make a living, or in some cases, blogs part-time or as a hobby. So, with that in mind, if you are blogging for business then you also need to have other marketing tools in place, like a website, social media strategy and an audience. There is no point spending time writing, editing, formatting and publishing a great blog post if there is no one to see it and nowhere to share it. Don’t think that by posting a blog that people will miraculously come to your website and see it. This is not a case of “build it and they will come” because sadly they will not.

1. Setting up your blog Free Hosting You need somewhere to host your blog. We advise that it should be on a website. You can use free blogging sites like Blogspot, Blogger and Wordress.com (be aware there are WordPress.com and WordPress.org) but at the end of the day you have nowhere to drive your traffic to and the content is not yours. You are using someone else’s platform and at any stage, they can shut you down (it does happen!) AND as a business owner, none of these platforms looks professional. Self Hosting You can set up a WordPress site yourself, but you will also need to be self-hosted for the same reasons above. It is possible to set up a simple website for your blog and organise your own hosting for a reasonably cheap monthly fee, BUT you will have limitations. You will also need to buy your domain name. Once you have done that and set up a self-hosted site, you will need to get onto WordPress.org (for self-hosting) and set up your account. There are other things to consider as well like organising your SSL certificate, for a secure site, and then choosing a Theme (what your site will look like), customising your new website and installing plugins. Plugins are what gives your website functionality. Obviously, this is a simplified, general overview. It can be a fun process for those that are tech savvy but frustrating for those that are not.

Professional Website And for those of you who are not tech savvy (like me) then I suggest you have someone build a website for you. I know that involves cost, but some web developers have no upfront fees and ongoing monthly fees instead AND provide great training and support. There is only so far a business can go using free products. There is some great stuff out there but all free products and services are limited and they will only take you so far. Look I’ll be honest. As a business, you probably should have a good website. It’s like your shopfront for those that actually can’t see your shopfront (or business). There are some businesses who can happily run without one, but then we cannot recommend blogging as an effective marketing tool. Blogging is only one aspect of your marketing and to work well needs to be part of a larger marketing machine. You need to ask yourself what you want to get out of blogging. If the reason is to get more business, then you really need to be directing your customers somewhere. Without it, it’s like finding customers who would love to eat at your restaurant and you not actually having a restaurant.

More about Setting up a Blog Here are some great articles for setting up a Blog - The Biggest Mistakes New Bloggers Make and Revealed: 19 Things to Know Before Starting a Blog in 2017 Granted these are written by bloggers, but they are filled with relevant information that you should at least consider. 2. Writing, Formatting and Publishing your blog post You need to write a blog post. Once upon a time, a post of around 350 words would have been fine. Jam a photo at the top and you were good to go. Well not really, but that’s what a lot of people were doing. But blogging has grown. Now a blog post less than 1000 words are not really going to cut it. Ideally, a blog post should be around the 2000-word mark. There are other ways of blogging that would be more simplified than this – curating, round up posts and lists to name a few. But like any good blog there should be a variety of different posts to look at and if all you have to offer is curations of other people’s posts then your audience will move on pretty quickly and your expertise will not shine through.

Add Value to Your Blog Posts Your posts need to be of value to your audience. You can’t talk about your product, service or shop all the time. To be frank with you, people don’t care. What they do care about is what your product, service or shop DOES for them. Does it solve a problem? For example, if you are a café and specialise in organic food people would love to hear about your suppliers, or if you grow your own produce or how it is beneficial to their health by eating organic food. They most certainly don’t want to hear about how good you think your café is, or how many people you have coming through the doors. They want to know about customer experiences, from customers. If you are a web developer people don’t want to hear about how you build websites. They want to know how the traffic to their website will be engaged. How they can market to their customers even better and get further reach online. They want to know how they can get people to sign up to their database or if it will be easy for customers to navigate around the website. And in travel people don’t want to hear about travel tours. They want to be inspired to travel to destinations they haven’t heard about before and to learn how they can do this easily. These people are happy to hear what the destinations are really like. Like everybody else, they want to know whether their dream of travelling could actually come true. Formatting Blog Posts Once you have written your epic blog post it will need to be formatted on your site in a way that engages with your audience. People’s interest is short and large blocks of text will turn them away. It looks dull and boring. Break up your text with headings. People scan these to quickly gauge whether they are interested in the post. Use shorter sentences and more spacing than you usually would in a normal typed document. And break up your text with images. The more the better. BUT please, please, please use clean, sharp images (edit them if you have to) that are relevant to your blog post. And make sure they are the correct size. If you use images that are large your site will be very slow to load. And as we have covered, people have no patience and will be gone in a flash. Images We need to talk about images. It has just been talked about the quality of your images. They need to be excellent. And the size needs to be correct. What you also need to know is about Copyright. You cannot just see an image on the internet, save it, and use it. YOU CANNOT DO THIS! Just because it is out there doesn’t mean you have the right to use it as you please. Violating copyright is a biggy. If you want to use someone else’s image you need to get their permission and then give them credit. If you need an image and don’t have one of your own, there are sites like Pixabay (and you can use Canva too) where you can download them for free. While we are talking about copying, you cannot copy someone else’s text either. You can certainly quote them using the appropriate format, and then link to their article, but never copy.

3. Adding a CTA (Call to Action) to Your Blog Posts What happens after someone reads your blog? Is there somewhere at the end they can opt into a newsletter? Are you giving away something for free (this is called a lead magnet) so they really want to enter their name and email onto your database. It only has to be something simple (but valuable to your client). And please don’t think that a “Call me on blah, blah, blah” is going to cut it. People have short attention spans and the more you make them do like call, leave a message, spend time searching for your business because you are hard to find, means they will not stick around. Trust me they will move on very, very quickly to the next business that has everything set up. Lead Magnets and Opt-Ins What is the point of someone reading your blog if there is nowhere for them to go afterwards? Nothing to do. What if they want to read more? You need to be building an email list and your blog is the perfect opportunity to do that. Make sure that every blog post you do have some sort of opt-in where your customers can enter their details in return for something of value (free giveaway, amazing newsletter) and in turn be added to your email list. If you think that getting them to call you is all you need, you also need to wonder, why would they call you? Because you wrote a blog post? Can they see images of your products, services, shop in your blog post? Can they read customer reviews and recommendations? These are things you would have on a website or the very least, reviews on Facebook. Ask yourself why would a customer call? If the roles were reversed, would you? Being in business is hard. You need to develop a thick skin, but what you need to learn most of all is honesty. Honesty with yourself. You need to learn to look at your product, service or shop and see it through another person’s eyes. It can be hard, and criticism or negative feedback can be difficult to deal with, but if you start to see it for what it is, a way to improve, then it can be the most valuable tool you have.

Image courtesy of DigitalMarketer 4. Marketing Your Blog OK so now you have written your blog, uploaded it and formatted it on your website (or blogging platform). You have added great images that make it pop and added your call to action so your readers can opt-in to your database. You can optimise it for SEO, but that’s a plugin you are going to have to upload, and maybe better to keep that for another post. Now what? Social Media Marketing Strategy Blogging should only be one part of your marketing strategy. In fact, you should have a number of things in place and they should all work and compliment each other. All business owners should have some sort of Social Media strategy. SOCIAL MEDIA IS WHERE YOUR AUDIENCE IS HANGING OUT! Now I don’t mean to shout, I just wanted to get my point across. It makes my hair curl when I hear people say, “I don’t need social media for my business”. Why? Is it doing so well without it? I mean you need to have been hiding under a rock to not notice the shift in how we all use technology. Over 75% of my traffic on my travel website come from Social Media. 75%!!!! And over 50% of all people are viewing it from their mobile phone. So that should tell you something about social media and technology. My target audience for my travel business is women aged between 40 – 65. So, in finding the right social media platform I finally turned to Pinterest after I stubbornly clung to Facebook for years. 80% of Pinterest users are female. And the age of my target audience accounts for 62%. Clearly, I need to be on Pinterest. Not only should you share your blog posts on your social media accounts over and over again in a well-planned out schedule, you can gain comments and engagement regarding your post. Add in platforms like Medium and Twitter and you can start to gain some reach.

Image courtesy of Leverage New Age Media Facebook At the very least you need a Facebook Business Page. At the very least! Don’t make people jump through hoops to find you. Don’t just have a location page on Facebook. It has absolutely no information. Use your Facebook Page like you would a shop front. Social Media should be used in the same way as your blog, to share valuable information.

Social Media But using social media is another kettle of fish again. To start, look at some of the businesses you follow or look them up (those businesses that are similar to yours). See what they are doing. What kind of information are they sharing? How are they engaging their audience? A lot can be learned by watching those who are successful. Don’t think you are so unique you don’t need it. It would be a rare business that would not benefit from social media. Building an Email List Another part of your marketing strategy should be building your email list. In fact, I would recommend you do this first. These people will have opted-in to your database because you offered them something they liked. Or they saw something on your website or social media platforms that they liked. And then you can market (email, send a newsletter) to these people, who you already have a relationship with, and tell them about your latest blog. Creating Content for Your Blog But remember if all you are doing is selling, selling, selling they will unsubscribe. You need to be sharing information that is of value. For example, if you are a boutique hotel, talk about the area you are in, about the activities that are available, even the weather at different times of year and the benefits of visiting at those times. I could go on forever with ideas, but then I am a bit of a freak when it comes to thinking up ideas for my blog. You can get our 3 Steps to Creating Unlimited Content here. You could, in fact, ask your audience. The people already on your email list. Ask them what they would like to hear more about. What would help them plan their stay with you? Maybe you could do a restaurant review of the area, or cafes, or picnic areas. Are you starting to get my drift? Create a marketing strategy. For example – Publish the blog post on the website. Share it across all social media platforms you use (at different times). For platforms like Pinterest, to make it really work you will have to have a pretty clear strategy and use an app like Tailwind to help you. I couldn’t do what I do on Pinterest without it. And it has been worth every cent I pay for it. At the end of the day, you may have thought I will blog and people will come. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. Small business is hard. Like everything worthwhile it takes work. And consistent effort. And time. I was publishing two blog posts per week (now only one) and using a good Pinterest strategy for six months before I even saw any results. Oh, and if you didn’t read between the lines above, one blog post a month in this day and age is not going to cut it. 5. Create a Blogging Schedule You will need to dedicate time to your blogging. Once a month or even less is not going to be of any use. Even if people love your stuff, by the time you publish a new one they will be gone and onto someone else. I would suggest twice a month to start with and build to at least one per week. And they need to be quality.

Keep Going and Be Consistent Blogging is not for the faint-hearted. You are wasting your time unless you dedicate yourself to this. But like any new task that can seem overwhelming eventually, it will become easier. And there is a lot of information out there to help educate you. If you come up with something you just can’t work out, look it up. There are a lot of good content marketers out there sharing their knowledge for free. You can learn a lot, you only need to look, and put in the time. Read the full article

[phonoix]

Okay so storytime.

I use Photoshop for school :)

The day before my first class I bought it on Adobe cuz I didn't have anyone who could help me at the moment to crack it. It was only 9.75€ a month and I was like "oh sure I'll just use it for this month and then I'll get one of my classmates to help me with the cracked version."

This happened on the 19th of January. Now a few days ago, on the 18th of February I log on my Adobe cloud shit thing whatever to unsubscribe. And oh, what a surprise, I have a 53€ unsubscription fee to pay if I want to unsubscribe.

Note: Adobe's contracts state that if you unsubscribe before the first 14 days since the payment, you won't pay the fee and you'll get a refund. :)

Now. Call me dumb or whatever, but my sister and I didn't really notice that our plan was a yearly plan. So yeah maybe I was a bit dumb. But even so. If I wanna unsubscribe from a plan earlier than the end date why should I pay half of the whole price? Why should I pay at all. Never in my life I had to pay an unsubscription fee and I was really pissed and very very anxious cuz that was my sister's money and I didn't want to make her pay either the fee or keep using Photoshop for a year for the price of 115€.

Now, I'm panicking, I'm googling, she's googling too how we can unfuck this mess and fuck Adobe back. Lucky I find an article! I'll link it too. My sister found a similar one but the principle is the same.

THE QUESTION YOU'VE ALL BEEN ASKING IS HERE.

HOW DOES ONE FUCK ADOBE AFTER THEY'VE LITERALLY THREATENED YOU INTO STAYING WITH THEM?

Easy. Like I said earlier, if you unsubscribe before the 14 days are over there's no fee. So what you're going to do is, you go to "my plan" settings or something and instead of "end plan" you go to "edit plan".

Now you're going to find, among Adobe's vast choice of plans, the cheapest plan ever. My original plan was already 9 euros a month but I read of people paying like 30 moneys a month so just, find the cheapest plan. The one I picked was: InCopy that was only 6€ month. We pay and like, a minute after we unsubscribe from the plan. Since we did this before the 14 days of course we don't pay the fee and we got a refund.

Moral of the story.

My classmate even asked me "why did you even pay Adobe in the first place. Piracy is always correct" and I was like "my man you're so correct".

I can't stress enough the fact that they're thieves. Sure I could have paid more mind to what I was buying but I needed the program so I bought it. ALSO, fucking Adobe has no monthly plan, so you're fucked either way. And, even if you wait a year, then the subscription will just renovate and there's literally no way out. (Other than the one I told you)

So kids, steal from them cuz I hate them, they made me cry, and I swear- look what they told me after I stopped the unsubscription the first time:

"Thank you for the fidelity shown" LIKE????? YOU GUYS FUCKING THREATENED ME? I- this was very funny honestly.

Lmao a thief pulls a knife on you and goes "give me your wallet or I'll kill you". Of course you don't wanna die so you give them the wallet and then they go "oh thank you for the the loyalty and the kindness shown. You're so nice" Like????

Ugh anyways, I'll link the magic formula link that explains this better than I do.

KIDS KEEP STEALING, THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DESERVE THAT :)

https://responsivedesign.is/articles/cancel-adobe-without-paying-the-cancellation-fee/

(The writer of the article was way too kind with Adobe, I hate it with a burning passion and now I think I know what French revolutionaries were feeling when they killed the King)

[betterbinderproject]

Hi, when you say that you understand completely the reasons why people don't like the better binder project you're being very presumptuous. It's not the same as well-meaning but ignorant abled people attempting to solve highly complex and expensive problems of access for disabled people. And furthermore, the way you talk about this is really condescending and frankly just...you make assumptions that you understand the intimacies of how people think and feel that are just not true or analogous.

Like I mean this in the nicest possible way, but cisgender people’s relation to trans people is just not the same, and it would be a lot less patronizing and transphobic of you to *not* characterize every possible negative and/or critical reaction to this blog as being a reflexive anger and automatic rejection instead of being a justified and/or reasonable wariness. Like I absolutely hope this project succeeds, but there’s no reason to think that you’re qualified to make it succeed.

I’m going to use this also as a way to respond to your post, which didn’t show up on my Acitivity, so I’m glad someone pointed me to it.

1. My ability to listen to criticism

For the last couple weeks, I’ve been monitoring the activity of my posts, especially looking for people saying things like, “This will never work”, “this is a bad idea”, “won’t work for me” and so forth. Then a lot of the time I’ve messaged them to say, “Hi, I want to hear about your thoughts and experiences, do you have time to talk?”. I’m in a little bit of a backlog with this because some really smart and informed people have been commenting on it but I’ve been busy. For example, if I got the chance to listen to @the-scottish-costume-guy at greater length and in greater detail in the next couple days, I’d be really happy.

So while some criticisms have been reflexive rage or despair, others have been completely on point and I’ve already integrated them into my design (for example, recommendations to slope the boning diagonally down and to the outside). And others have been logical on the surface, but don’t apply to the specific thing I am trying to do (eg. “corsets are expensive”)

2. My credentials

I’ve been sewing seriously for the last 20 years. In some of that time, I’ve been paid for my work. For much of it, I’ve both been reading academic sources on the topic, and sewing in the workshops of vastly more experienced sewists. Over and above all my other sewing experience, I’ve made and worn numerous corsets. There is no set certification for a “professional tailor” but yes, if I wanted to do that as a job, I do have the resume and portfolio for it.

Tailoring isn’t actually the field you want here, though. Since beginning this project, I’ve located and contacted several researchers in the fields of human ecology, mechanical engineering, and biomedical engineering, who have relevant expertise. None have yet gotten back to me, probably partly because it’s summer. If someone more qualified than me wants to work on this project, I am 100% willing to collaborate with them, or hand the project off to them.

3. My profiting from this project

I’ve already made some very particular and pointed decisions about this. If I wanted to significantly profit from this project, I would:

Keep my R&D process secret

Patent and license the design

Sell patterns of the design I made for individuals wanting to make their own, individual, copy

Sell binders I myself made, or possibly outsource their production and then sell the result

Send cease&desist letters threatening to sue anyone selling copies of my binder, or any other binder on similar design principles, or any pattern for such a binder

Demand that anyone wanting to profit from the use of my design principles pay me a licensing fee.

Meanwhile, my plan right now includes:

Publicizing my concepts and progress in a way freely accessible to anyone with an Internet connection

Maintaining a record of my progress to keep anyone else from claiming to be its inventor and licensing it in exploitative ways

Encouraging feedback from as many people as possible and seeking out trans, nb, and genderqueer perspectives 

Coming soon: Creating a survey about wearer experiences and health outcomes, asking anyone involved in this project to report back so the data can be disseminated and analyzed. If this project and my design are a failure, I will say so.

Making design concepts, and in the future, patterns and tutorials, freely available to anyone with an internet connection, and agreeing to their republication to reach other audiences

Only receiving donations from people who understand that this is an experimental venture, posed as the question, “What if I tried this thing,” and only profiting from items that I have ensured people could get for themselves some other way. (eg “Here’s a free tutorial on making this binder using items from the dollar store. However, if you want to buy a $20 kit of high-quality items pre-cut for your convenience, here’s my Etsy”)

Providing prototypes to their intended wearers for free in return for feedback about the wearers’ experiences, instead of selling half-baked designs for a profit

Openly encouraging other sewists to suggest design improvements, make their own versions, or make binders for other people without paying me

In the future, I’m very open to stepping back in my own role in this project, and handing it off to trans people who have taken the idea and run with it.

From a legal perspective, I have probably already ruined my chances of making big bucks from this project, and I did that on purpose. From the beginning, I realized that it is very possible for me to be exploitative in how I handle this project. 

I honestly asked for money because I can’t pay for medications, groceries and utilities right now. I got about $300, which was enough to cover most of my monthly medical expenses. Most of the clients I see as a psychotherapist are disabled, living on extremely limited incomes, and cannot pay me much more than the cost I pay to rent the room we meet in. I’m trying to survive and find a better job. If I had a full-time job and made a decent income, I would be funding this project out of my own pocket. I know how to market and monetize a project like this, and have, from the first, deliberately chosen not to, in large part because I’m cis and this isn’t my issue.

4. Binders over top surgery

This project has largely been inspired by a trans person with whom I have worked, whose parents were involved in a custody dispute beginning when they were 14. At 14 they realized they were trans, but they required the consent of both parents for medical procedures until the age of 18. One parent was extremely transphobic and would not consent to top surgery, although they didn’t see their child on a regular basis and didn’t know how they dressed and presented. During those 4 years, they used a binder as a way of dealing with the dysphoria that made them suicidal. Despite its negative physical health effects (pain, trouble breathing, rashes, etc) the binder was an essential aid to their mental health.

Yes, binding is a “stopgap” method compared to top surgery. However, one of my major areas of work is as a mental health therapist with LGBTQ people, especially teenagers. Not everyone can get top surgery, and not always as quickly as it is needed. Sometimes there is a gap you need to stop.

5. Why do we need better binders at all?

I didn’t go into this because I, frankly, had considered the need for improvements in binder technology so well-documented as to be completely obvious. Just today someone tagged this blog talking about how much they want it to work because “binding gives me rashes, makes my already shitty lungs hurt, makes my back hurt, and doesn’t actually work for me“ Would you like me to curate the research and accounts of people who have problems with the current models of binder available? Is that proof you in fact need?

7. Corsets are unsuitable/super gendered

Yep! That’s why I’m not making corsets. I’m trying to use the engineering elements from corsetry that would make the binder better, and make everything else as un-corset-like as possible. 

How possible this is is an open question right now. For example, corsets need to be fitted so precisely because they go from the bust to the hips, and therefore need the correct bust, waist, and hip measurement, and the correct height, and the correct ratio of all things to each other, and to have the correct vertical profile. My current hypothesis is that by making a binder that covers only the bust, I can eliminate many of these complexities. However, many informed observers of the project have told me that they think I’m wrong, and that the binder will need to extend to the waist to more evenly distribute the load of compression, and a garment that only goes around the chest will cause too much back pain over the long term. This is a question I think can honestly only be answered when I ship my prototypes to my genderqueer friend in Georgia, who shares my measurements and is eager to try each model out for hours/days/weeks and report back.

At present, I am experimenting with adaptations to sports bras, which I also know can be too gendered and induce dysphoria. I’m using them because my current project is aimed at people who have very little experience sewing, and therefore would benefit from only having to add a few elements to an already-constructed garment. After this, I want to see if I can transition those adaptations to something less gendered, like a tank top. After that, I can begin work on drafting a binder entirely from scratch, which, one hopes, I can make as ungendered as possible.

My askbox is open!