#Also I feel really bad for Tomoko... She is your ride or die and doesn't deserve this lol

[mothwingwritings]

There’s Just No One Like You pt.3

F!ReaderXTaiju Shiba

PART ONE PART TWO

Waaah, I am SO sorry this one took so long guys. It seemed like everything that COULD stand in my way DID stand in my way, so I truly am very sorry. :(

But here it is! Chapter three! This one is over 17K words (making it the longest thing I have posted here) and I am so glad I finally get to share it because it sure did beat my ass. :)

This chapter covers your time with Taiju up to that fateful Christmas Eve night. I wanted to fit in a lot of interactions (and ended up having to cut some because I don’t know how to chill) and emotions, so there is whole ass roller coaster in here waiting.

There is also some one sided Koko x reader in here, the one sided being on Koko’s end.

WARNINGS: Incredibly abusive/unhealthy relationship (reader gets hurt mentally and physically), VERY dubcon everything, yandere vibes, brief religion mentions, family abuse (mentally and physically), language, blood/gore, mentions of sex (but nothing too explicit), one sided affections from Koko to reader, some angst, Taiju being a huge asshole, stalking, gas lighting, Taiju pretty much controls your life and it ain’t the greatest :(

18+ only please!!!

(There will be a part 4 and that will be the finale.)

Part 3. Angel

Sometimes you barely recognized the person staring back at you in the reflection.

Physically, not much had changed about you in the past few months. You’d lost some weight (your clothes didn’t seem to quite fit like they used to), and the circles under your eyes grew darker by the day (a side effect of continually being kept up into the wee hours of the morning), but you still looked undeniably like you. Even donning a bit more makeup than you used to (heavier, and in places you never previously needed it) and doing up your hair to Taiju’s preference over your own (pulling at your scalp, making your head ache), it was still your eyes looking back at you in that long, ornate mirror that liked to mock you each time you passed it by in the hallway.

This was you, this was your life now, and this is how it is going to be from now on.

How many times had you chanted those words in yourself? They were supposed to help you cope, a ward you went over and over to fill your head so that your thoughts wouldn’t be free to roam. Your brain was apt to wander and stew, conjuring cruel phantoms of your family, friends, and companions.

If you were the only casualty in all this you could try and make peace. It was unfortunate that the people closest to you got tangled up in this whole mess of a situation, hunted and hounded until they themselves were left broken and terrified.

Taiju coming back into your life wasn’t something you could hide from your family forever. They would find out sooner or later that your late night outings and early morning risings weren’t always for school or study sessions with Tomoko (as if your slipping grades weren’t enough of a red flag). You decided early on it was best that you broke the news to them yourself, ascertaining it would cause a lot less grief then if they happened to hear it through the grapevine. When you worked up the courage to break the news to them, they were less than thrilled to hear the announcement.

They loved you, they trusted you, and they had the highest hopes for you. They had sacrificed so much of themselves to make sure you were safe and cared for. They raised you to make the correct choices and instilled in you from a young age the difference between good and bad, right and wrong.

That’s why the hurt was so raw when you peered into their eyes and saw such flagrant disappointment reflecting back at you. Taiju Shiba was definitely not the suitor they had hoped for. They expected you to do better.

But they were willing to push their discomfort aside to give Taiju another chance, which was more than you could have asked for. Elation filled you when you invited Taiju to dinner with your family, hopeful this would put to rest all the bad blood of the past and you could all move on. No more sneaking around, no more lying, no more threats and curses about your parents under Taiju’s breath. If you could just get them together and talking, even if the conversation wasn’t deep, a bond could be nurtured that could bloom into something wonderful.

How naïve you were back then.

The dinner was doomed to failure the moment the invitation left your lips, a quick nod and grunt the only affirmation the he had heard you at all. A few nights later, he arrived at your family house donned in his black dragon’s attire, tattooed chest bared beneath the loose fit of his robes. You pulled him aside the moment he stepped in the door to hurriedly ask why, of all things, he was wearing that. He knew your parents were big on appearances, and you had been harping for days about how delicate this entire event was. Your parent’s approval hinged on this one meal, and he chose to come in full on gang wear?

He responded by curtly telling you he had a meeting after this and there was no time to change afterwards, leaving it at that. There wasn’t a chance for a rebuttal as your mother turned the corner to greet him, the expression plastered to her face enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and disappear. Her lips pursed so tightly that the smile she attempted to give him looked almost comical.

To your parent’s credit, they gave him an earnest shot that evening. Asking Taiju how he had been and how his family was, what he had been up to in the interim of leaving and coming back. Unfortunately Taiju decided to take their niceties and harmless questioning as direct threats and interrogations, each response (if he even gave a response other than his sharp, hateful glower) was brusque, presumptuous, and condescending. You sat like a lump by Taiju’s side the entire meal, shoulders hunched, caving in on yourself. All the hard work you put in sticking up for Taiju, focusing on how he had changed and grown, how things weren’t the same as they used to be, were all escaping down the drain. Humiliation and hurt swirled turbulently within you, making the food you were forcing down your throat taste like ash.

Though the whole event only lasted around an hour, the disconcert you felt was endless. Taiju was successful in proving one thing to your parents that night, and that was that things definitely weren’t what they once were, they were now much worse.

Needless to say, that dinner was a cataclysmic failure.

As Taiju left your house that night he made sure to plant the most lascivious kiss he could upon your lips before making his way out the door, knowing full well your parents were mere feet away, watching. You had never seen your mother’s face pallor the way it had that evening. Your father was so befuddled that even though he was known for being an eloquent speaker, he found himself at a complete loss for words.

Mere minutes after he had left your home they had reached a unanimous decision: You were never to see Taiju Shiba ever again, and any attempt to do so would be firmly and swiftly shut down.

…And yet here you are now, in the home you share with him, getting dolled up to spend the rest of the evening basking in his presence.

Your doppelganger in the mirror was frowning.

Yes, it was better by far to keep up your incantation chanting and push all other thoughts out. If you could just get those words into your goddamn head and move on, wouldn’t things be so much better?

A defeated sigh escaped your reddened lips. It felt useless. Neither mantra nor distraction could stop how increasingly hollow you felt, like the entirety of your insides had been gutted and thrown in the trash.  More and more you felt like as if you existed outside yourself, experiencing things at a distance, no longer in tuned with your physical form.

The girl in this mirror may be you, but she’s fake. Just a shell of the actual you trying desperately to be what you once were.

The dress you had squeezed yourself into seemed far too mature for you, the dramatic split down the side and plunging neckline making you feel like you were going to some kind of charity ball for rich socialites, not your own birthday party. But Taiju picked it out because he wanted to see you in it, and if there was nothing else that had been engrained in your head these long months it was what Taiju wanted, Taiju got.

Taiju wanted you to be official. He wanted you to move in with him. He wanted you to sacrifice your life and time for him. He wanted you to replace the people in your life with the people in his life. He wanted you to realize you were his family now, that he loved you more than anyone else ever could or would, and that he was the best thing to ever happen to you.

Good on his end, all of his wishes having thus far come true.

Locked in the rampant gluttony of his dominion over you, pieces of your true self were shed bit by excruciating bit. You lied to your family, made excuses to your friends, and regurgitated apologies to your teachers and classmates for half assed assignments and missed school days.  And they ate that up, having no reason to doubt you. You were a good kid, a nice person, a student that was always prompt and never caused issues. What need would you have to lie?

However you can only force a smile so many times before people start to dig deeper.  It was only natural that time would chip away at the façade you had created, and your sister fancied herself a detective as she analyzed every word you spoke in hopes of uncovering some scandalous dirt.

You always had a somewhat rocky relationship with her, which you figured was pretty par for the course with most siblings. Sometimes you hated her and sometimes you loved her, she knew just how to get on every one of your nerves and at the same time would be the only person who truly understood what you were going through. So when things shifted in your life she was quick on the pickup, relentless in her search to find out what was really going on with you and this mysterious man from your past.

She didn’t have to stay in the dark long, as things around your household began to heat up in the days following the family dinner. Threatening notes showed up at your door and in your mail box, demands to see you penciled in an erratic, angry scrawl. When that ceased to have an effect, graffiti littered your walkway, choice words and lewd imagery that was just as bold and ostentatious as the man who orchestrated the vandalism. There was a tight leash around your neck which kept you from reaching out to Taiju for questioning, but even if you could you were doubtful the harassment would end.

Your sibling became personally affected when things became more physical, your father’s car becoming the victim to a late night keying. Though the damage was all cosmetic, it cost more to fix than the car was worth, setting the household back with the unplanned expense.  The keying caused your parent’s anxiety to teeter out of control, and thus an iron clad rule was brought into effect immediately.  You were by no means allowed to leave the house alone, and it was none other than your older sister who had been appointed as chaperone to be stuck constantly at your side.

At first she found it amusing. Her little sis who stayed out of the lime light as much as possible suddenly being center stage in a bizarre, tumultuous crime-esque drama was definitely something that was relative to her interests. Meek little (name) entering some kind of sordid relationship with a gang leader was icing on the cake. You couldn’t recall the last time she had spoken to you so much, her jaw continually flapping to ask about Taiju and his gang and your role within that gang. You wanted to pop her each time she leered at you with that teasing lilt in her voice, knowing full well you were in for another unescapable earful.

But it grew old fast, especially when this meant that instead of having her own social life she was stuck playing your bodyguard. Her light hearted jabs turned into heated barbs. Accusations and complaints that used to be hidden beneath her breathe were now spoken to you plainly. She was mad about being thrust into this position, and you became her punching bag of blame to help alleviate her displeasure.

Things can only bend so far before they break, and your sister was never known for being pliable. At some point she became convinced to the point of obsession that she could end all of this and put Taiju in his place, she just had to come up with the perfect plan first. As much as you advised her against this, it became her primary goal, and no amount of goading or assuring her that things would eventually die down satiated her desire to claim her old freedoms back as quickly as possible.

It had become commonplace to feel a presence follow behind you from school to home, and you had become an expert at ignoring it. Whoever they were, they never said anything to either you or your sibling, always making sure to keep several paces behind you. Far enough that they weren’t invading your personal space, but close enough that trying to make a break for it would be a bad idea. You hadn’t a clue who the silent enigma’s were, their faces covered in masks with hoods overcasting their eyes. All you knew was that they usually came in two’s, and though none of them were ever big enough to be Taiju himself, their Black Dragon attire made it apparent who they worked for.

On one particular evening something was off. You sister was grumpier than usual, and the force that was following you seemed more overwhelming than it typically did. It was a miracle that you made it home without incident, your sisters’ clenched fists and grit teeth blaring signs of how much she was struggling to keep herself in check on that slow walk home.

However, even as the threshold into your yard was crossed and the figures behind you began to depart, you sister’s discontent didn’t wane. Her anger would not be quenched that night by merely making it home, she needed the satisfaction of something more.

“Don’t you fucking losers have anything better to do?” She mockingly spat over her shoulder, halting the two figures in their tracks. “Isn’t following two girls home who have absolutely no interest in you or the shitty company you keep a little pathetic? Maybe you scumbags should get lost and go find a life.”

Pleasure lit her face after she spoke, the airing of her true feelings instantly alleviating some of her tension. However, the duo she had dissed was not the type to take trash talk lightly. Before she could take another step her progression was stopped by a sloppy, wet, mess colliding with the back of her head, the noisy squelch upon impact booming in the quietness of the evening. One of them must have been eating as they were walking, remains of a half-eaten burger and fries’ tangling in your siblings thick hair, condiments and what was left of a soda dripping down her neck to soil her clothing.

She seethed. Indignation coursed through her as their laughs echoed down the street, bringing her to her boiling point. Desperately you attempted to calm her and clean her up, spouting anything you could think of to convince her that you could handle this. Your words fell on deaf ears and she shoved you aside with a force that staggered you, knocking you to the ground

“This whole fiasco is your fucking fault,” she spat, violent eyes honing in on you prone form, “If you hadn’t become some gang leader’s whore we wouldn’t be in this mess right now! Do you even know how much this effecting mom, dad, and me? Do you even care, or are you so off in your own little mob princess fantasy that you’ve gone completely nuts?”

She cut you off before you could speak, “I don’t want to hear any more shit from you, and I refuse to live like this any longer. If no one else will do anything, I will.”

Bold words from a bold girl, her silhouette looked stalwart and assured as you stared after her retreating back that you almost believed that she could do something to end this.

But bravery goes hand in hand with stupidity, and your sister had definitely bit off more than she could chew when she took on the black dragons.

She didn’t make it home that night. You and your parents stayed up till the wee hours pacing and worrying, calling all of her friends and the local police department. No one had any information to provide, so you remained in the dark until early next morning when the cops were finally able to share some news.

You sister had been found by an early morning jogger crumpled up in an alley way, her body bruised and bleeding from a beating she withstood, most likely from multiple assailants. Her face was so mangled and puffy from bruising that it was hard to tell it was even your sister at all.

She spent the next several weeks in the hospital recovering, but each time you went to visit she refused to acknowledge your existence. You expected her to be mad, to go off on you and scream until she was hoarse about how much she hated you for causing this. But the cold silence she offered was far, far worse. She didn’t hate you so much as you simply no longer existed to her at all.

Your parents were at their wits end. Your sister was refusing your presence. In the span of a few short weeks, your family bond had been successfully destroyed. All you could do was watch as the people you loved broke down, morphing in to strung-out, anxious husks of who they once were.

It was ultimately your decision to move out and seek shelter with Taiju, which looking back now must have been his plan from the get-go. The longer you stayed under your families lock and key, the worse things would become. They mauled your sister, what would stop them from going after you father or mother next? What if they didn’t stop at just beating them? And what could you do to stop them, other than give them what they wanted?

The day you left home you sobbed nonstop as Taiju rampantly tore through your bedroom. Your parents had finally gone back to work after all the frenzy had died down a bit, weary yet trusting that locking you up alone in the house would be okay. Taiju utilized this time to making his daring ‘rescue’, springing into action the moment their car had left the driveway.

At first he left the packing up to you, but when your shaky limbs weren’t moving fast enough for his liking, he pushed you aside to haphazardly chuck clothing and other belongings in whatever bags and suitcases he could find. He was frenzied, a violent mix of excited, triumphant, and pissed off as he stormed his way through your room, showing very little regard of your property and your feelings when he ripped through memories and trampled over your possessions. The choked cries agitated him, and he warned you more than once to shut up or he would give you something to cry about. Luckily for you, he was so busy tearing your life apart that his words remained nothing more than exasperated threats.

Once he had accumulated adequate supplies for your indefinite stay, he proceeded to usher you out of the house with a haste you found gratuitous. Noticing your reluctance to leave he sighed, placing your bags down so he could provide you his undivided attention.

Catching your chin in a light pinch, he jerked your head up so that your watery eyes met his observant glare. “I know this is upsetting to you, but even you agreed this is for the best. I’ve gone long enough without you by my side, every second spent in this house is a waste.”

You could tell by the timbre of his voice that he was trying to sound understanding, but the impatient giddiness he was feeling at having you so closely within his grasp was bleeding through. The manic gleam as his feline eyes drank you in was making you feel ill, like you were a farm animal being lead to slaughter.

“You’re my family now, and I take care of what’s mine.” His voice was low as his hand fell to the base of your neck. Strong, thick fingers pressing tenderly into your skin pulled you forward until his lips were grazing your ear. “My good girl just has to let me take care of her. Somebody else could get hurt otherwise, and you don’t want that do you baby?”

You phone buzzed violently in your hand, dragging you back to reality. Starring down, Koko’s name illuminated your screen. After a moment’s hesitation, you answered his call.

“Hey Princess,” Koko’s voice chided, “You almost ready in there? The carriage is going to turn back into a pumpkin at this point.”

“Sorry,” your voice was clipped as you responded, “If it was my choice I wouldn’t be wearing the most complicated dress in the world.”

He laughed, “Come on now, I’m sure it can’t be that hard to navigate. The boss wouldn’t pick something he can’t rip off you easily.” You could almost feel the smug smile on his face as his words made you blush furiously.

A heavy sigh came through the speaker, “Anyway, try and keep in mind that if we’re too late it’s not you that is going to fall under Prince Charming’s wrath for this, and I’d like to spend the night in my own bed and not a hospital.  I’m sure you look beautiful. Please, come out here soon.”

The phone clicked and you gave your own elongated sigh. With one last look in the mirror, you headed out the door.

You paused for a brief moment after you arrived outside, staring down the steps at the man who awaited you. Koko hadn’t noticed you yet and was in the midst of furiously punching away at his phone, looking positively disgruntled with his cinched brow and grimace. You knew he had to be making up excuse after excuse to Taiju over why you were running behind. You huffed in guilt. Koko wasn’t wrong when he spoke earlier. It was his ass that was on the line the longer you loitered, even though you were the one completely at fault.

“Sorry again,” you piped up, drawing the man’s instant attention. He puffed a rouge strand of hair out his eyes as he flicked them over you. His demeanor relaxed, shoulders instantly losing their tightness as he flung open the car door he had previously been leaning against. You eyed the vehicle with a slight frown, unsure of whom it belonged to or if Koko even had a normal driving license to be operating it.

Then again, you learned early on that with most things that involved the black dragons, it was better to not know the origin of them.

As you descended down the stairs you were met with a whistle, a wolfish grin spreading over Koko’s face as he awaited you at the bottom. “There’s the princess,” he teased, doing a slight flourish when you grew near, “Looking as lovely as I presumed you would.”

“Yeah,” you looked away, discomfort mounting the longer his eyes took you in, “Thank you.”

“Shouldn’t you be a little more excited?”  He snorted, moving aside to grant you access into the awaiting vehicle, “It’s your birthday after all, and your knight in shining armor is going so hard at pleasing you today.”

“Can you cut it out with the fairytale metaphors,” you grumbled, “It’s not like I’m ungrateful. This is all just...”

“A lot?”

You gave a small nod of agreeance. It was eerie how conscientious he could be sometimes.

You relationship with Koko was complicated, to say the least. There were days when you absolutely despised him, your brain going feral at the sight of his stupid smug grin and teasing eyes. The familiarity he approached you with never ceased to make you cringe, as if he were entitled to your companionship and confidence simply because you were his leaders’ significant other. Often times you felt just as trapped by him as you did Taiju, the raven haired boys’ awareness that your social circle had been drastically cut down to Taiju’s family and the black dragons was a huge driving force in your awkward, forced companionship. With all your friends and family gone, who else did you have to turn for camaraderie?

Inupi was around as well, of course (Taiju wouldn’t let you step foot out of the house without at least himself or one of those two nearby), but there was something about the way Koko glued himself to you, taking a vested interest that Inupi did not. For both Koko’s sake and your own, you played dumb to that interest, knowing full well nothing good could come of it.

But for each moment of torment with Koko, there were also times when he supported you, stood up for you even, and on days when it felt like no one else was in your court you couldn’t deny that that was much appreciated. If you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t even sure if you would have been able to survive meeting all of Taiju’s men for the first time without Koko by your side.

Countless rows of men stood before you, identically bowed at 90 degree angles. Their backs reflecting the logo of the black dragons were turned to the sky, causing what little moonlight filtered down from the clouds to reflect off the bright white of the lettering.

They spoke in unison, their voices rumbling together to form a great roar. ‘Too loud’ your brain warned, eyes flicking wildly around the darkened shrine they had assembled before, ��Far too loud for a place of worship at this time of night.’

Every word Taiju spoke was responded to promptly, the mass of men showing nothing but the utmost respect for their leader. Taiju’s reluctance to explain the darker aspects of his life were quick to dissipate after you had moved in. He had mentioned the Black Dragons prior of course, but the true extent of his involvement and the crimes they committed was all still fresh news to you. You guess he figured it best to make sure you were properly secured before airing out all his dirty laundry.

And this was an induction for you, of sorts. Despite being adamant in your voicing of wanting as little to do with his gang as possible, Taiju was an expert at countering. It was hard to fight the fact that by being his girlfriend you had defaulted into being a member of the Black Dragon regardless of how you felt on the matter, and as such, needed to attend at least one of the meetings to formally introduce yourself.

You stood slightly behind Taiju as he spoke, who was mid-explaining your significance in this world that had been thrust upon you. It felt unreal, like you were outside your body piloting someone else. Your joints were simultaneously stiff and like jello, your constitution so weak that if the wind gusted too strong you were sure you’d blow away with it. A steady thrum of nausea had been flopping in your stomach the entirety of Taiju’s speech. So many eyes trained on you, so many souls weighing your worth, judging your appearance. It was making your head spin.

You only became aware that Taiju’s speech had ended when he placed a chaste kiss on the crown of your head. He whispered in your ear what you thought might have been encouragement, but could have just as easily been an admonishment. With the state you were in, it was a wonder you could function at all, let alone recognize someone was speaking to you. He guided you towards Koko and you followed without putting up a fuss, happy to see that your legs could still move properly, and even happier to be out of the spotlight.

With a few barked orders you were left alone with Koko as Inupi trailed after Taiju. You felt anxious as you watched Taiju become engulfed in the sea of men, nerves eating you as your protection and lifeline slipped father away. The flood of people began to trickle closer your way, and you couldn’t help but grip on to Koko coat as you heard a few curious whispers and felt rogue glances directed your way. A chill passed through you. Getting lost in a mass of delinquents was not what you were looking to achieve tonight, and even if the company by your side was not much better, at the very least he was someone you knew.

“You made it through,” Koko stated, making no move to pull away, “Despite the fact that you looked like you were going to burst into tears the whole time.” When his attempts at light-hearted teasing had no effect he frowned, lowering his voice until only you could hear it, “You can relax now, (name). It’s over, all right?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just not used to all of this,” you mumbled in reply, trying your hardest not to stare at anyone surrounding you. It was not lost on you that nearly every other individual in the crowd dwarfed you in size and stature. There were only men familiar with fighting on a daily basis in your midst, and in the event something happened and they turned on you, you wouldn’t stand a chance. "Any one of the people could kill me in an instant.”

He laughed, causing you to shoot him a look. They angry gleam in your eyes only seemed to widen his smile.

"Well, I guess you're right about that, wouldn’t take much to beat down a little pipsqueak like you. If Taiju wasn’t in the picture I would say you would be in a world of trouble here, smack dab in the middle of all this.” He spread out his arms, reminding you of a used car salesman trying to hype up his unimpressive lot. “But that’s not the case, and no one here is dumb enough to try and fuck with the boss’ property.”

You weren’t wild with being described as ‘property’, but were left with no time to voice your qualms when you felt him drew himself nearer, pushing into you in a way you could only describe as invasive. The press of your bodies now bordering on scandalous, you broke out in a cold sweat. If Taiju saw the way Koko had positioned himself beside you, if his fierce eyes were to hone in on the way his guard captain’s lips hovered so close to your ear in this moment, you weren’t so sure he would make it out alive.

Koko’s dark eyes were lidded as he stared down at you, a brief flash of something wild and desperate passing through them as his words tumbled from his smirking lips.

“Besides, I’m here for you too, aren’t? It’s not just Taiju they’d have to go through to get to you, princess.”

A light touch against your back pulled you to your senses, and you glanced over to see Koko shaking his head. “I’m sure you already know this, but now is not the time to take a breather. You’re a tough girl who’s gotten past worse moments than this. You can make it through one dinner, yeah?”

You weren’t sure what made you want to wretch more, the coddling tone of his voice, or the warmth of his hand on the small of your back.

“Now hurry and get it. I lied to the boss and said we left ten minutes ago, so we are going to have to really haul ass.”

~

You watched through the window as the car pulled up to the restaurant. Taiju had been waiting out front, and now that he was fully in view you could see he was dressed just as nicely as you were. Donned in a tailored suit you had never seen before with his hair slicked back out of his face, he looked positively dashing. You couldn’t help but feel taken by how fetching he appeared, a swooning sensation overtaking you the longer you took him in. The deep blue of his suit and stark white of his shirt made him look mature and dignified, and the sparse statement jewelry on his hands and neck truly pulled the entire look together.  You would agree whole heartedly with Koko’s early ‘prince charming’ statement if it weren’t for the positively peeved aura that permeated his entire form.

Taiju’s eyes were mere slits, holding a murderous glint as they bore into Koko. Judging by how entirely unamused he appeared he must have been standing outside for a while, and you knew you’d have a lot of damage control to do because of that. Arms folded impatiently across his broad, puffed out chest with a scowl chiseled deeply into his stern face, he looked the very definition of furious. Even other patrons made sure to avoid his path, lest they do something to trigger his rage.

It was cute in a way, seeing him standing watch out front grumpily as he anticipated your arrival. It would be a sweet gesture if it remained just that, a little bit of grumpiness and not a threat that someone was going to be pulverized if he waited a moment longer.

Deciding it was best to spare Koko Taiju’s wrath, you exited the vehicle as quickly as possible. When Taiju’s attention was drawn to you his murderous demeanor shifted, a slow smile spreading across his lips as he looked you over. “Damn baby,” he spoke a bit breathlessly, hungry eyes roving your dolled up form, “you look fucking gorgeous. I was getting pissed off waiting for Koko’s slow ass to bring you here, but seeing you now it was worth the wait. If I wasn’t a stronger man I don’t think you would be making it through this dinner in one piece.”

You withheld a shiver, laughing off his heavy advance, “It would be a shame if I didn’t get to see the birthday surprise you had planned for me though, wouldn’t it?”

He smiled at you devilishly, offering an outstretched hand.

“I guess you make a valid point. I’ll try and be on my best behavior, but no guarantees.”

You approached him with measured steps, still a bit wobbly on the heel’s you had yet to get fully used to. Your clammy hand clasped his, and he began to lead you inside.

“Let’s go,” he smiled down at you, “the others are waiting.”

~

The restaurant Taiju had picked for your birthday dinner was a place you had never dined at previously, and as you made your way to the back party room, it was clear why.

Opulent didn’t begin to cover this place. As you strode past the other diners in their expensive designer suits and luxurious dresses, sipping the finest wines from crystal glasses and nibbling at exotic cuisine you had never tasted, let alone knew how to pronounce, you felt very much out of place. But there was confidence in Taiju’s steps as he led you, an air of showmanship as he paraded you past the rows of aquariums that lined the walls and snaked between the guests. The aquatic animals in their enclosed environment appeared much like how you felt, out of place and trapped.

He was speaking to you, something about how this place was one of his favorites, but the lights were dimmed for ambience and your steps were unsure as you struggled to keep Taiju’s rapid pace. Your brain could only be occupied with approaching this situation a literal step at a time, your downcast eyes keeping close watch of the terrain to help prevent slipping and creating a scene. You wouldn’t want to be the one to upset Taiju’s party, even if it was supposed to be ‘your day’. The only thing you wanted out of all this was for it to go just as Taiju had planned. If everything met his expectations, at least the day had the potential to be peaceful.

A breathe of relief escaped you when you made it to the party room without incident. Taiju opened the heavy mahogany door for you, sweeping you inside with a firm hand on your rear. You bit back a yelp when he tightly squeezed, a chuckle rumbling through his throat at the red that flushed over your cheeks.

“The birthday girl finally appears.”

Your attention was drawn to the center of the room, where a lone square table made of the same rich wood as the door stood. It was illuminated by a single ornate chandelier that hung over the center, casting an invitingly warm glow over the two bodies that sat waiting for your arrival.

You smiled at the familiar faces of Hakkai and Yuzuha, your first genuine smile of the entire day. “Sorry I’m late. I had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction.”

Yuzuha laughed, “Yeah, with that ensemble it isn’t hard to see why.”

From the corner of your eye you saw Taiju lurch, prompting you to rush your next words to halt any brewing drama. “It’s the price of beauty I guess,” You smiled, slowly making your way to the table, “I would hate to show up to such a nice place looking like a street urchin.”

She cracked a mischievous smile, “You didn’t have to come looking like a full on debutante either, though. Were you scared the paparazzi would catch your bad side?”

Her words were nothing more than playful banter between friends, this you were well aware of. But you knew Yuzuha was also aware of how critical her older brother was of the interactions you shared with her, never taking kindly to commentary that could even remotely be considered criticism of yourself or your relationship with him.

“Show some damn respect, Yuzuha.” Taiju growled, pulling out the empty chair next to Hakkai so that you could take a seat. “The last thing she wants to hear on her birthday is your bullshit.”

“It’s called sarcasm,” she retorted, shooting him a pointed look, “Sorry for joking around with my friend, I’ll make sure to speak like a robot from here on out so I don’t upset anybody.”

Before Taiju could respond, you placed your hand on his arm, calming him. “It’s alright Taiju, I took no offense. Besides, late birthday girls deserve to be a little picked on for taking time out of such a lovely occasion. I’m surprised Hakkai didn’t chime in as well.”

You had grown accustomed to being a bumper between the siblings, an intermediary force to lessen the blow of Taiju’s fits. Most of the time it worked, but there was a fine line to it. More than a few occasions had occurred where his anger had gone past the point of gentle words and soothing touches, and when it became uncontrollable there was little that could be done other than pray it would subside quickly.

More often than not Yuzuha was on the receiving end of these assaults, and whether she provoked Taiju herself or if she was acting as a shield for their little brother, she would always get the worst of his violent tendencies.

When you first entered the family dynamic it was hard to grasp the severity of the abuse he inflicted on his siblings. At first you were just privy to the aftermath, watching Hakkai limp by you in the hallway, a puffy black bruise blossoming around Yuzuha’s eye. You believed the wounds must have come from elsewhere originally, aware that Hakkai was embroiled in gang life just as his brother was. Yuzuha clung to him like glue and probably ended up in a fight now and again by association. The few times you tried to breach the topic they were never at liberty to go into much detail, and after repeated question dodging, you dropped the topic entirely. If they wanted to open up about their issues to you, they would do it at their own speed.

… Which wasn’t to say it didn’t bother you, seeing them in pain and unwilling to tell you why. Since you aligned yourself with Taiju you had become especially close to both siblings, seeing as they were the only people left that you trusted to openly communicate and confide in. Though it did also occur to you that maybe they didn’t think of you as being that tight knit, and it could be that they just didn’t WANT to confide in you. They had good manners, and though you hoped it wasn’t the case, it was entirely likely that maybe they saw you as nothing more than an extended stay guest they were obligated to be polite to, and that was as far as their feelings extended.

Regardless of what the story behind their injuries was, at the start of your tenure in their home you truly believed Taiju had no hand in their abuse. There had to be some other explanation to it, no big brother who says he loves his siblings would treat them in such a violent manner. Even if they did have a tendency to have verbal battles, that wasn’t proof of any physical altercation. Hell, how many times had you and your own sister got into heated fights without laying a single hand on one another?

The first time you witnessed the abuse Taiju inflicted on his siblings in person is a moment you don’t think you’ll ever quite forget. You can recall it as clear as the day it happened, the burn in your leg muscles as you rushed to Yuzuhas side, your whole body moving on auto pilot to come to her aid. At that point her face was already bloody, bruises forming on her arms from where Taiju was grabbing her.  You called out to him, but he was so consumed in his manic fury that your words didn’t register. Unsure of what else to do, your grabbed his reared back arm, hoping to stop his onslaught.

All it did was redirect his blow.

His fist connected just below your eye left eye, the force of the blow knocking you to the ground.  Despite the fact that she was right next to you, Yuzuha’s scream sounded distant as you sat on the floor, knocked to your ass in a total daze. Blood began to trickle down your cheek, and the shock of what had just occurred hit you so hard that it took several moments to even register the pain. When it came, it was excruciating.

“Fucking Christ,” he seethed, pulling you up roughly by your neck. Your body quaked in his grasp, the tears cascading down your cheeks mixing with the blood of your fresh wound. It splattered on to his hand, your shirt, the floor. “I guess I have to teach you a lesson about what happens when you interrupt my business, don’t I baby?”

It only took a few more blows for you to black out from the pain.

After you woke up that night, he was so gentle with you. There was a tangible discord between the intense pain of your wounds and the warmth of his caress. In the space of passing out and coming too, you had been cleaned up, bathed and bandaged, and now were wrapped in the softest blanket ever created, ice pack held to your face by Taiju’s hand as his other arm kept you close beside him.

He didn’t apologize. In fact, he admonished you. All you could do was listen numbly while he spoke, verbally scolding you as a parent would a child.

You caused this damage to your body. You made him hurt you. If only you could have been good and stayed in your lane. If only you would have behaved. Why did you get in the way? Why did you do this?

The whole time you listened, you couldn’t bring yourself to voice the question hammering in your head.

Why did HE do this?

“You look very nice.”

Hakkai’s soft voice called out beside you, breaking you free from your morbid thoughts.

“This is our first year getting to celebrate your birthday with you,” he smiled awkwardly, “I’m glad to be here with you. It’s cool that we get to spend this special day with you, I mean. Uh…”

You could see the gears in his head turning, obviously trying hard to come up with some topic of conversation that wouldn’t inadvertently piss someone off and further sour a day that was supposed to be in honor of you. Hakkai’s subtle thoughtfulness was something that you found endearing, and you found yourself cracking a smile at the comical amount of vexation on his face.

“Thank you,” you giggled, “I’m glad you are here too. This spacious room would feel very empty with just Taiju and me in it.”

The gratitude you felt was no joke. The party room was cut off from the rest of the establishment, eerily stifling with how secluded it felt. You could barely hear the bustle of the kitchen right next door, let alone the noise of the other patrons.  If it weren’t for Hakkai and Yuzuha, you were sure you’d feel even more imprisoned than you normally did.

“It sure is big,” Yuzuha joined the conversation as her eyes scanned the area, “It could fit a whole bunch of people. You should have let her invite more people, made it an actual party. “

‘No,’ you stiffened, ‘don’t go there.’

“It’s her birthday after all,” Yuzuha carried on nonchalantly, uncaring of the mounting tension in the room, “I’m sure she had some other people in mind she wanted to bring today.”

“Maybe you should shut your mouth instead of talking about shit you know nothing about.” Taiju snarled, casting a vehement look her way. “The people who care about her the most are in this room.”

He spoke with finality, but Yuzuha wasn’t willing to end the conversation with that. “She misses her friends, you know.” She snipped at her brother. “That one girl… Tomoko was it? She still tries to call the house, even to this day!”

There was a pang in your heart at the mention of her name. It was true. Every so often you’d see her name flash across the call ID of the home phone (your cell number had long since changed, only the people Taiju deemed fit knowing the new number), and an urge like no other would possess you to pick up as soon as you’d see those letters brighten the screen.

But each time your hand would reach for the receiver, you’d stop, memories of what had been done to your family overwhelming you. Taiju had told you before that if she became a ‘problem’ to him, he would have no qualms with forcing her out of the picture.

He couldn’t ruin her too. You wouldn’t be able to bear it.

The icy terror that griped you over this threat inspired you to take your own precautionary actions. At first you lied to her about your sudden disappearance, telling her that everything was fine, you were just busy. Throwing excuses at her left and right that you had spent hours honing in hopes they were believable enough to slip past her radar. You had the perfect answer for why you were missing so much school, why you didn’t live at home anymore, why you were constantly with Taiju, why you couldn’t see her anymore.

When pre-crafted excuses stopped working, she became more persistent. She stopped wasting time getting answers from you, instead opting to confront Taiju directly. She accused him of brainwashing and kidnapping you, pointing all the blame of your absences and what had happened to your family towards him.

If she hadn’t given him these verbal lashings in the halls of your school while others stood witness, you were positive the same fate that befell your sister would have also been granted to her as well.

Watching her fight for you so valiantly shattered your heart in a way it never had previously, a sickening realization clutching you in an unrelenting squeeze. No amount of distancing yourself from Tomoko or promising to never see her again would keep your friend safe. She wouldn’t back down in her fight to get you back, and neither would Taiju in his fight to keep you. And if it came down to her power versus his, there was no question of who the victor would be.

It was clear what had to be done. You had to try and break her, because if you didn’t, Taiju certainly would.

You convinced Taiju to let you see her alone under the guise of fake anger, successfully getting him to believe that you were so disgusted with how she treated him that you wanted to make it explicitly clear to her that you wanted her out of your life for good. With his blessing, you took her on in Taiju’s stead, spitting every volatile thing her way you could think of. Every fight you ever had had been unearthed, long forgotten grudges dug up to use as the fuel to your fire. To add insult to injury, all of the insecurities that had ever plagued her you spat back in her face, stomping not just her heart but her self-esteem into the ground. Vile words cascaded in an endless, horrible strand from your lips, acting as a double edged sword. They were tearing apart not just Tomoko, but you as well.

After your heated screaming match, you both left as sobbing, broken messes. For that you were almost thankful, taking one look at your fucked up state was all Taiju needed to believe Tomoko would never be a problem again, no further acting needed.

But Tomoko was too smart for your bullshit, she always had been. So she kept trying and trying and trying to reach you. She never stopped, and you knew she never would.

If some miracle were to happen in the future and you could make your way back to her, you knew you would never be able to repay her or make things right. Your friendship was shattered by your own two hands, and no matter how much work you put into correcting your errors or how unceasing Tomoko’s forgiveness was, none of it mattered. You made your choice, and you would never deserve the unconditional love Tomoko provided.

“She has more than enough friends here.” Taiju spoke plainly, taking a swig of his drink. “Besides, that girl is a fucking bitch. You saw how (name) looked the last time they saw each other. I bet she’s just trying to act friendly so she can hurt her again.”

“It’s in the past,” you cleared your throat, your mediator skills kicking in once more, “I’m just happy to be surrounded by you guys today.” You turned your attention fully to Taiju, making sure to give credit where he was expecting it to be due. “Thank you so much for this beautiful party, Taiju. I’ve never been treated to something so nice.”

The mechanical words caused a pleased smile to bloom across Taiju’s face. Nothing could light up this man’s demeanor like your subservience.

“Anything for you, baby.”

~

The meal itself went surprisingly well.

Sure, there was a squabble here and there. Yuzuha occasionally mentioning something that ticked Taiju off, or Hakkai’s mannerisms sparking a snide comment or two did affect the soiree, but overall it was nice. The dinner seemed comfortingly normal, like you were just an average family without any grudges that was sitting down to enjoy each other’s presence.

How you wished it could have stayed that way.

You weren’t even sure how it started, but a minor disagreement between the siblings had grown from heated words to full on yelling. Initially it embarrassed you more than anything, the atmosphere of this upscale restaurant no place for a scene, private room or not. You tried in vain to get Taiju’s attention, but even speaking to him in as sweet a tone you could only got a sharp command to shut your mouth as he carried on his tirade.

Clanging dishware startled you, drawing your attention to Taiju as he pushed off the table. He loomed over your seated forms, eyes shooting daggers at Hakkai who shifted nervously in his seat beside you.

“What the fuck did you say,” Taiju’s voice was low, a threatening tone to it that he reserved for when you really crossed the line with him. You could feel the anxiety radiating off Hakkai, his clenched hands shaking in his lap. Too afraid to make eye contact, his gaze bore holes in the table before him.

Like a whip, Taiju’s hand snatched at his younger brother’s collar, his reach across the table knocking a cup to the floor. It shattered upon impact, bits of glass and remaining liquid coating your leg and foot. Apprehension kept you from cleaning the mess instantly, a slight grimace on your face as a chunk of glass wedged itself between the strap of your sandal as you scooted your foot away.

A heavy silence hung in the air as both men remained frozen in place. Glancing up at Taiju, you noticed his breath coming unsteady while his grip remained firm on his brother. Something dangerous danced in his eyes as he took in Hakkai, who had leaned himself uncomfortably up against the table. The younger boy’s legs bent at an awkward angle to take some of the strain off his neck, a terrified look of uncertainty on his face as his brain struggled for a solution to get out of the debacle he found himself locked in.

Your mind raced for something to say or do that would end this as calmly and with as little blood as possible, but Yuzuha beat you to the punch. Ever Hakkai’s protector, she couldn’t stand to see her brother in this position any longer.

She stood, defiantly latching herself to the arm that held Hakkai in place. There was fire in her eyes, a built up rage that was threatening to spill any moment. You prayed you would suddenly manifest some manner of telepathic communication to try and dissuade her from the action she was set on making. As much as you didn’t want Hakkai to go home with a black eye, you knew there was nothing Yuzuha or yourself could possibly do or say at this point to save him. The attempt itself was already damning enough.

“He said you were ruining (name)’s birthday,” her words were brusque, umbrage seeping from her every pore, “And he’s fucking right. Your entire presence for the past ten years has done nothing but cause pain and misery for all of us. You didn’t just mess up her birthday. You messed up her entire life, asshole.”

In an instant, Yuzuha was on the floor.

The speed at which it occurred left you all momentarily stunned. Hakkai, suddenly free from Taiju’s hold, collapsed down on the table. This in turn caused more dishes to fall to the floor, one of which shattered near the fallen Yuzuha. You felt like your body had turned to stone as the scene played out in before you. The image of Taiju towering above his sister, his hand secured tightly around her collar as it just had her brother, keeping her in place. His fist connected once, twice, a third time. Her lip bust open, blood gushing out profusely with each strike. Yellow bruising began to creep around her eye after the fourth hit. She was trying to shield herself, one hand locked in a fruitless struggle to escape his grip, the other doing its best to block herself from the incoming blows. Worming around the floor, bits of broken glass pierced her flesh, red trickles marring her bare legs.

It took Hakkai speaking to draw you from your haze. Unsure of what he even said, the desperate rasp in his voice drew you back to the earth and all the horror that came with it. Raising yourself on unsteady legs, you knocked your chair aside as you stumbled your way towards Taiju. Faltering for a moment when you reached him, visions of the last time you attempted to separate Taiju from Yuzuha on playback in your head as you stood behind them.

But with her face in your direct line of sight becoming bloodier by the moment, you decided no longer cared what happened to you. It would be worth it if you could save her.

You flung yourself around his torso, burying your face into his broad back. You felt the coarse fabric of his suit moisten from your tears, your arms trembling with a mix of fear, adrenaline, and desire to redirect his attention. Squeezing as hard as you could, your body rocked with small sobs.

“Please,” you pleaded, “Please Taiju, stop. I know you are doing this to stand up for me, but please…”

Taiju stilled in your hold, and the seconds that ticked by were excruciating. No one spoke, only the sound of Yuzuha’s labored breathing and your soft cries disrupting the tense atmosphere. Slowly you began to feel Taiju’s tense muscles relax in your embrace, and you all but breathed a sigh of relief when he released his hold on Yuzuha, her beaten body falling unceremoniously to the floor.

“Baby,” he sighed, pulling his body back to its full height.  He swiveled in your loosened hold until he faced you, his large hands finding purchase on your tear soaked face. His thumb grazed beneath your eyes, wiping away the tears the continued to spill.  “You’re being far too lenient here, you know when they run their mouths-“

Taiju stopped mid-sentence, his eyes sharpening as they looked off slightly behind you. Your body grew taut as you felt his grip on your face tighten, worry seeping into you that maybe Hakkai had done something behind you to once more ignite his rage.

“You’re bleeding.”

It took you a moment to process the words, your own gaze finally glancing downward to see a small trail of blood had followed you from your seat. Now aware of it, your foot began to throb in pain. The glass that had slipped in previously had embedded itself deep within your skin, the gash staining the entire left side of your once pristine white sandal in a bright crimson.

“I’m sorry, I must have stepped on glass,” you sniffled, sitting yourself down in the chair Taiju had previously occupied to better assess the wound, “I’ll pay more attention next time.”

Taiju grunted, kneeling down in front of you so he could assist. “You need to be more careful,” he scolded, but his voice held no true bite to it. He grabbed an unused tablecloth, dunking it in what remained of his ice water on the table. “Let me see it.”

You removed your hands to give him a better view, taking the chance to check on the siblings. Yuzuha had made it to her feet and was rubbing carefully at her eyes, attempting to remove any evidence of tears. Hakkai hovered around her, doing his best to dab at her wounds without causing more pain.

With a quick jerk, Taiju pulled the glass shard from your foot, causing you to wince. He immediately applied the washcloth to soak up the new blood that had started to pour out, but the pressure he exerted was more than necessary, adding to the discomfort. It hurt, and Taiju was tactless in how he was tending to you, but it seemed an insult to be bothered by it when Yuzuha was just a few feet away in such a demolished state.

“Hakkai,” Taiju snapped over his shoulder, drawing all three of your attention, “Go get the waiter, let him know we had a little accident and need some help with cleanup.”

Hakkai nodded, giving his sister one last look before heading on his way.

“Yuzuha,” Taiju grumbled in irritation, “Go clean up before we go home, I don’t want you bleeding all over the car.”

She lingered a moment before moving, as if she didn’t truly believe she was getting off so easily. But when Taiju kept his attentions on you she made her way to the door.

“Wait.”

She halted, her hand frozen on the handle just as she was to make her escape. Your heart rate quickened, wanting nothing more than for her to just make it out of this godforsaken room without any further incident.

“You need to apologize to (Name),” his voice was stern, “Apologize for ruining her birthday.”

Your eyes snapped to Taiju, momentarily speechless over the absurdity of his statement. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at situation, but you knew you shouldn’t be surprised. This wasn’t Taiju dodging responsibility or trying to play dumb. This was Taiju earnestly believing his deluded words.

This was Taiju showing his love for you.

You shivered, your body suddenly feeling extremely cold.

Yuzuha turned her head, dull eyes meeting yours as she pulled the door open.

“Sorry (name). I’m really, really sorry.”

~

“… Yuzuha?”

You knocked gingerly on the bathroom door, calling out as you did. The drive home felt as if it stretched on forever, everyone planted to their seats in complete silence. Even the gregarious cab driver made nary a bit of conversation, his words lost in the tense atmosphere. It was no wonder that as soon as you made it back, Yuzuha had dashed inside and holed up straight away in the bathroom to properly address her injuries.

It also didn’t shock you when there was no response to your knock. If you were in her shoes, you were certain the last person you would want to see would be yourself. But still, you worried for her and couldn’t help but feel immense guilt over how the night had gone down. If there was anything you could do to right this, you wanted to do it and then some.

Considering relenting after a few failed attempts, a soft voice called out to from inside before you could step away. “It’s unlocked, you can come in.” A click followed her words, letting you know the lock had been released.

With her permission, you opened the door just enough to squeeze inside, closing it quietly behind you. Taiju had told you not to bother checking on her, so you lied and told him you were going to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. It was lucky that the rooms were adjacent to each other, if you heard him coming to check on you it meant you could slink out quickly.

“Hey,” Yuzuha said plainly as you entered. Her back was turned to you, but she met your eyes in the mirror she was facing. “I’m surprised he let you come see me, what with me instigating such a scene and all.”

She spoke jokingly, but there was sadness in her voice. Yuzuha was one of the strongest people you had ever met, but the state of her family cut into her deeper than she let on. When things got really horrible, or events happened that truly shook her, you could see just how much it affected her peeking through the cracks. She couldn’t be a stone statue all the time, no matter how much she wished otherwise.

“He didn’t,” you responded with an equally pathetic smile, “I lied and said I was getting some water. I shouldn’t stay here long.”

“Ah,” she responded with a sigh, “Figures. But it’s a shame. I really wanted to enjoy this day with you.”

You felt tears prick your eyes at the honesty of her words. Her voice sounded so defeated, her body sagging from a mix of pain and exhaustion. Your eyes slowly inspected her, noting that she had already bandaged up all her cuts. Her hand pressed an ice pack into her face, completely engulfing the left side of it. Yuzuha was so young, yet looking at her now she looked as if she lived multiple consecutive life times in a row, the weight of it all mounting on her as it steadily crushed her alive.

How much longer until all of this turmoil completely consumed her?

“I’m so sorry Yuzuha,” You choked on your words, holding the tears that threated to spill at bay. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

Her eye found yours once more in the reflection, despondency reflected within it.

“Yeah,” she breathed a shuddering breath, “Neither do you.”

~

“That took a while.”

There was an accusatory tone to his voice that would typically set you on edge, but with state you left Yuzuha in fresh on your mind, you paid little attention to him. Warmth still enveloped you from the embrace you shared with his sister moments prior, your shoulder slightly damp from the tears she finally had the freedom to let lose. It was haunting, the way her arms gripped you like a lifeline, clinging desperately to your affection.

“Sorry,” you mumbled absent mindedly, “I’m a little slow because of my foot.”

Which wasn’t a total lie, the wound on your foot did slow you down and the shoddy, excessive wrap job didn’t help either. You figured maybe Taiju was overcompensating when he did it, attempting to make up for how rough he had gone at the cut earlier.

When you entered your shared bedroom he was already splayed out on the bed. Stripped from his fancy dinner attire, all he wore now were his boxers, the rest of his body on display. The jet black of his tattoos was a sharp contrast to the paleness of his skin, the way the lines dipped and curved against his muscles a thing of mesmerizing beauty. He leaned back on his arms, golden eyes staring down his nose at you as he followed your movement from the entrance to the vanity across the room. His legs were spread, feet lazily hanging off the side of the bed, and the boxers he wore were pulled down dangerously low, sitting right beneath his hips, just on the cusp of indecency. Though there was a slight frown on his lips he appeared relaxed, pleased even. He finally had you alone.

As much as it embarrassed to admit, it still made you anxious seeing him this way, and he knew this. The man seemed to live for the blush that bloomed across your body when he’d undress for you, eating it up entirely with a hungry smirk on his lips. He loved it almost as much as he loved seeing you in compromising situations.

He had no qualms forcing what he wanted from you in any situation, and it was a given that this applied to the bedroom as well. He believed implicitly that it was his divine right to see and have all of you whenever and wherever he desired, and if you wouldn’t freely give that to him, then he would simply take it. You know he preferred when you were compliant, treasuring the moments where he could convince himself you were a willing participant in his actions, but there was also a certain thrill he’d feel when you would do a minor act of rebellion. The way his breath would shudder when you’d try and push his groping hands away or the slight upturn of his lips when your limbs would tangle around yourself in a weak effort to hide your nude form. He’d always fuck you the hardest when you’d try and deny him, feeling immense satisfaction as he carved an indelible feeling of his ownership inside of your core.

You had already donned your own pajamas, but in your rush to check on Yuzuha had left yourself adorned in all your accessories. You were in the process of taking off your most recent acquirement; a stunning gemstone necklace Taiju had gifted you at dinner just before shit hit the fan. Noticing your struggle with the small clasp, Taiju rolled himself off the bed, proceeding to make his way towards you.

“Let me.”

You stopped fumbling with the dainty chain, your hands instead moving your hair out of the way so that he could finish the task. His fingers felt cold as they ghosted your neck, goosebumps dotting your arms at the feather light touches mixed with slight gusts of his breath. The necklace sparkled in a dazzling array as he lifted it off you, placing it with care on the dresser beside him. You pushed aside nagging thoughts of how many carats it may be, how he could afford such a thing, or where the hell you could ever wear something so extravagant.

“Your foot doesn’t hurt too badly, does it?” He asked as he turned back your way, serious concern lacing his voice.

‘It’s nothing compared to what you did to your sister’ you mused briefly, but shook the thought from your mind, shooting him a small smile instead.

“It feels a lot better now. I just don’t want to put too much pressure on it.”

He nodded, taking a step forward. His thick arms snaked around your stomach, pulling your back against his bare chest. He planted a prolonged kiss to the top of your head, eyes never once leaving yours in the vanities reflection. Once it concluded, he sighed, resting his chin on the top of your head.

“If only Hakkai and Yuzuha didn’t fuck tonight up,” his arms circled you tighter, “I had everything planned perfectly, went through hell to get that reservation months in advance, and they still couldn’t fucking act right.” He scoffed, “Just one night, all I wanted was one night where we could enjoy each other’s company and have some fun on your special day.”

He sighed again, sounding truly disgruntled. “It’s embarrassing. I taught them better than that.”

Removing the last of your jewelry, you smiled up at him as sincerely as you could.

“It’s alright, I still had a good time. Thank you, Taiju. It was a nice birthday.”

He returned your smile, planting another kiss atop your head. His arms moved from your torso, hands traveling to your arms. You heard him inhale behind you, his eyes drifting closed as he slowly moved his hands up your arms, stopping to rest them heavily upon your shoulders.

“A nice birthday huh,” he leaned down, his voice low as he whispered huskily into your ear, “But I can make it much better, baby.”

His hands slid the thing straps of your tank top off your shoulders, the loose fabric instantly working to fall off your chest. You shuddered, hoping that maybe the events of the night would have been enough to deter how the night was to inevitably end. Your body still ached from the night before, and seeing his scuffed knuckles reflecting back in the mirror as they began to fondle your now bare breasts only made you think of Yuzuha alone in the bathroom, sobbing and in pain. Was the blood that flecked them his or was it a remnant of her?

“Taiju, I’m tired,” You spoke gently, not wanting to make him mad. You shifted in an attempt to shrug off his feverish hands, but it only made his ministrations more determined. His growing erection was now pressed snuggly against your ass, and he relinquished one of his hands to pull your waist further into it, enjoying the friction with a purr.

His mouth latched to your neck, hot, sloppy, kisses littering the delicate flesh. You whimpered. Between his mouth and his hands, you didn’t know how your neck was ever without bruises.

He broke away momentarily, eyes flashing open to meet your gaze in the mirror. A devilish grin curled on his lips, expression dripping with lust as a dark chuckle rumbled from his throat.

“Well then,” he growled, arms swiftly scoping you up in a bridal carry as he turned towards the awaiting bed.  “I guess I’ll just have to wake you up.”

~

You weren’t sure what time it was.

At some point, you had awoken in the night. Discombobulated from your fitful sleep, it took a few moments for you to get your bearings. Your check was pressed into Taiju’s chest, your body rising and falling slowly with his breathing. His heart was beating steadily in your ear, the gentle consistent thump of it reminding you of a metronome. Maybe it was in a sense, seeing as Taiju had a hand pressed to the back of your head that kept you firmly in place atop of him and unable to see the clock. Maybe this is how you should count the time as you force yourself back to sleep.

And oh, how you wished you could get there soon. You were exhausted mentally and physically, every inch of your body begging for rest. You hurt too, the awkward position you had been pressed into not helping in the slightest, every bruise and ache of the day and nights liaison amplified by your unnatural posture. You shifted slightly, attempting to at least move the bottom half of your body to try and achieve some semblance of comfort. Alas, that only reminded you of the sticky mess that had pooled between your legs prior, what was left over from multiple orgasms Taiju had coaxed from your body, his own release a part of the mix.

“You awake?”

His voice startled you, knocking all previous feelings of sleepiness out the window.

“I’m sorry,” you responded, voice groggy from slumber, “Did I wake you?”

He chuckled, “No, I’ve been awake. I was watching you sleep.”

For a moment you were thankful for your uncomfortable position, knowing it prevented him from seeing the blush of embarrassment that illuminated your cheeks.

Silence fell over the two of you once more. Your eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room, picking up things that had been obscured previously. Taiju moved a bit, finally sating your curiosity about the time as the bold red letters flashed 4:09AM you way. In a blink, it changed to 4:10.

His change in position ended up being more comfortable for you as well, and you took the chance to shimmy around a bit until you found a good spot to nestle into. He kept his hand on your head, keeping your from roaming too far. After you had relocated, he languidly began to cart his fingers through your hair, and you found yourself relaxing at his touch. The sleep that had previously eluded you was sneaking its way back, your eyes growing heavy as you focused once more on the soft beating in his chest. As they began to flutter closed, he spoke to you once more.

“(Name)?” He spoke in little more than a whisper, as if he were checking to see if you had fallen back to sleep or not.

“Hm?” you hummed in response, fighting back sleep a bit longer to hear what he had to say.

A moment passed before he spoke again, causing you to think maybe he was the one who actually ended up falling asleep. However his words were clear when he spoke them, a question being posed that you were not expecting him to ask.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

You laughed a bit. Was this a test? “I hope you aren’t trying to make fun of me for forgetting the first time around, I thought I apologized enough for that already.”

“I’m not,” he was quick to respond, and there was a melancholy resonance to his voice that made you perk up, “… It’s just… Do you remember what you said? The very first time we met in that play house?”

You were fully alert now, intrigued by the line of questioning. Taiju was not someone who hesitated about anything, and yet here he was, sounding almost nervous as he asked such an innocuous thing.

“Um,” you stalled, granting your brain some time to remember that far back. “I’m sure I told you that I thought you were cool, and I thanked you for saving me.”

He gave a short laugh, “You did say those things, but you also said something that stuck with me more than that.”

“Yeah, what was that?”

“You said you were lucky… lucky that you met me.”

Hearing him say those words transported you right back to childhood. Sitting scrunched up in the playhouse, smiling like a bashful idiot up at Taiju. Despite the circumstances, you couldn’t help but smile at the nostalgia.

“No one had ever said that to me before.”

The smile fled from your face, the shake in Taiju’s voice freezing you in place. He sounded to the point of tears, but you were so stricken by the sudden passion in his words that you dared not try to confirm.

“Not one person in my life had ever been happy like that to see me,” he continued, struggling to keep his emotions in check. “No one ever said it was lucky that I was around. My mom… She was dying. Every day she got worse and worse. I had to watch her waste away, and if I went to dad needing help with anything, he pushed me aside. Said he was too busy taking care of everyone and everything else, that he didn’t have time to spend on me when his world was coming down around him. I was just in his way.”

You were silent as he continued, body stilled. Afraid that if you even made one small move, the moment would be over.

“Yuzuha and Hakkai… Fuck, they were just kids, you know? I mean so was I, but Hakkai was like a fucking baby. They had no idea what was going on. They tried to go to dad too, but he just wasn’t around. They were lost and they had no one to turn to, no one except me.”

He took in a shaky breath, “So I did what I could as the newly appointed man of the house. I did my best to protect them and help them, but God they just… They wouldn’t listen to me. They didn’t understand that I was helping, so I had to try and make them understand. But even then, they wouldn’t take me seriously unless I got physical.”

“Somewhere along the line everything just got so fucked up. I didn’t have anyone to turn to. Not even my own family wanted me around. My mother was dead. My father was gone. Hakkai and Yuzuha avoided me. Everyone I thought was my friend had jumped ship, telling me I had become mean, that I wasn’t fun to be around anymore. I had no one.”

His hand stopped, falling in place once more to cradle your head. In the brief silence, you continued to listen to the dull thud of his heart.

“Then I met you. And you told me with your bright eyes and big smile that you were lucky, lucky to have someone like me in your life. I couldn’t stop thinking about that, about you. Every time your face came to mind my chest ached. I wanted to see you again so bad, I wanted to know everything about you and be with you all the time. Everyone told me I was being ridiculous, that it was some dumb little crush I’d be over in no time. But my desire to be near you never stopped.  As time passed my feelings only grew, and even from that young age I knew that I would love you for the rest of my life.”

You felt Taiju shift beneath you, a deep breath escaping his lungs. When he spoke again, tiredness had crept into his words. Snuggled against him, you could feel his body relax beneath you as he began to drift away.

“God put me through hell, and for the longest time I didn’t understand why,” his speech was slurred with sleep, and knew it wouldn’t be much longer before it fully claimed him. “But when I met you I understood. It was to meet you. You are my angel, (name). You said I was your hero, but I want you to know that you saved me too.  I love you so fucking much that sometimes I don’t even know how to handle it.”

“(Name)…” His words were breathy, spoken right on the precipice of a dream, “Do you still feel that way? Do you still feel lucky that I found you?”

He was gone before you could respond.

~

Going to Black Dragon meetings was starting to be the bane of your existence.

You weren’t even sure why you had to attend, Taiju never let you listen in on what they discussed or have any say in the gang’s activity. Not that you actually wanted that kind of involvement, but sitting around off to the side for hours on end wasn’t your idea of fun either. And if you had to be there anyway, you would prefer at least some form of stimulation.

On top of your mandatory attendance and lack of purpose, he forbade you from interacting with anyone while you were there (excluding your normal entourage of Koko and Inupi, of course). You barely knew the other people in Taiju’s gang and figured it best to keep it that way, but the lack of correspondence with others  further increased your boredom. As soon as the two of you showed up he’d go stash you to the side, keeping you within view but away from the action. You felt like a decorative tea cup placed in a china shelf, something that was nice to look at but not to be touched.

You sighed forlornly, chin cradled in your palm as it rest against your knee. You had asked before why your presence at these things were necessary, but just as with every other time you questioned Taiju’s decisions, it didn’t end so well for you (if he even chose to answer you at all).

“Here.”

Something cold nudged your arm, making the hairs stand on end. Your eyes traveled up to the culprit, Inupi, who had just come back from his trek to the vending machine.

You took the drink from him with a ‘thanks’ as he sat himself next you on the dilapidated shrine step. Your back hurt from being hunched over on the stoop so long, and your ass was cold from the jagged concrete. As you sipped your beverage, your eyes passed over the mob of men several feet away from you who were engrossed in a deep discussion, no doubt in your mind that it was about something unsavory.

“How much longer do you think it’s gonna be?” You absentmindedly asked the boy beside you, your eyes locking onto Taiju’s large back in the distance. His blue hair danced wildly in the cool night breeze, a bright beacon amongst a sea of black.

“Hopefully soon,” he sighed, leaning back casually on one hand while his own drink was perched in the other. “I have to wake up early tomorrow for some bullshit make-up exam.”

You shot a wry smile at him, “And here I thought you were valedictorian material.”

He snorted, hiding his smile as he took a swig of his drink. “Who says I’m not? Tests are bullshit ways to measure intelligence anyway.”

Though Koko was usually your allotted babysitter, Inupi was the one to hold that honor tonight, and for that you were thankful. Inupi wasn’t much of a talker, least of all to you, and he certainly wasn’t one to openly bare his soul to people. But in the past few weeks he had slowly become accustomed to your presence and through the time you spent together a sort of bond had formed. It wasn’t deep enough to be considered friendship, but maybe it was headed in that direction.

Honestly you expected the conversation to end there, the rest of the meeting to be spent with the two of you side by side in silence enjoying your respective beverages in peace. But as you felt him continually fidget beside you, you couldn’t help but be a little on edge. Of all people, Inupi was always one of the more collected members of Taiju’s gang. Even under pressure he remained stoic, so it couldn’t help but alarm you to see him so uncomfortable in such a lax setting.

“… Is something wrong?” You questioned tentatively. Things were cool between the two of you, but you still didn’t want to cause any upset. The question seemed innocent enough to you, but around so many volatile people you were never quite sure what was overstepping your boundaries.

“No,” he was quick to reply, his voice flat despite his jitters. “It’s nothing.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, the noise eaten up by sound of the wind.

“It’s just…”

You glanced his way, observing that his eyes were set firmly in place, glaring fiercely off into the distance. You followed his gaze, ascertaining it had honed in on the two top dogs of the Black Dragons, Taiju and Koko.

He sighed, sounding almost irritated. “It’s stupid, never mind.”

Your brows furrowed, “It isn’t that stupid if it’s bothering you this much.” You stared back down to the half empty can in your hands, the lingering cold causing your fingers to go slightly numb. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, though.”

Another beat of silence passed.

“…I just wondered what your dreams were.”

Your head snapped his way, noting an almost imperceptible blush had befallen his cheeks.

“I told you it was stupid,” he grumbled, refusing to make eye contact. “I don’t know… It’s just something I have been thinking about a lot recently. People’s goals, what the hope to achieve, what they want out of life and what they are working towards, shit like that.”

“It’s none of my business,” his eyes lifted, falling back to the men before him. “But I can’t shake it. The fact that some people’s dreams will never get realized no matter how hard they work. They bleed themselves dry and work themselves to the bone for some shiny, encompassing obsession. They just keep digging the hole deeper hoping to strike gold at the bottom, only to find more dirt.”

He shifted, his eyes meeting yours, “Those are the type of people that drag everyone around them down there with them to get stuck in the mud. And the people caught in that crossfire… they don’t really get to dream anymore. And if they do, it just hurts them.”

You remained silent, ruminating over his words. He breathed deeply, hanging his head in a defeated manner.

“I thought maybe it was getting better,” he spoke softly, as if he were telling you a terrible secret. You could barely hear him over the sounds of the meeting ending in the distance, causing you to lean in a bit to catch his words, “But if anything its getting worse. You should be careful (name). It’s not just Taiju that wants to swallow you whole.”

The iciness of Inupi’s words pressed in around you, mingling with the cool gusts that rocked the overhead tree branches this way and that. You wrapped your goose bump riddled arms around yourself for consolation as another thick gust of wind ripped through the air, the ferocity of it causing you to clutch yourself tighter. A sudden threat of tears made your eyes clamp shut, hoping to keep them from forcing out.

“Dreams, huh?” Despite trying to sound light hearted, the words came out sounding disjointed and broken. “I haven’t thought about those in a long time.”

Inupi lifted himself, turning his head to you one last time before making his way towards the others. “That’s probably for the best. Maybe that’s the only real way to get through all this.”

As he began making his way toward the crowd, you knew you were supposed to follow. But your body had become rigid, perched like a stone deity at the base of the derelict shrine. No one came to tend this forgotten space anymore, the saisen box eternally empty and the paint long since chipped away. It’s only company now was delinquents, ghosts, and people like yourself trapped somewhere between the two.

Your heavy eyes shifted focus to the slowly dispersing crowd, a chill coursing down your spine when they landed on Taiju and Koko.

Both sets of eyes were watching your every move.

~

“Oh my God.”

The words escaped you through an airy, bewildered gasp at the sight that stood before you.

Maybe it was a childish thing to think, but you could never picture Taiju ever losing. The entire time you had known him he had been an unhuman beacon of strength and power, undefeatable against anyone who dare cross his path.

So why was he hunched over before you, dangling limply between Inupi and Koko like a wet piece of clothing hung up to try? Deep black and purple splotches dotted his body, weaving in and out of his tattoos like a child sloppily trying to color within the lines. His hair hung down over his face, obscuring your view, but with the way the two men flanking him were struggling you realized he must have passed out and was just dead weight they were supporting.

You ushered them inside, hurriedly tossing pillows aside to make room for his body on the couch. After he had been positioned on the cushions you could truly ascertain the beating he had endured, and you felt your heart stutter as you assessed the damages. As if the bruises weren’t bad enough, you were sickened to see blood pooling from an open stab wound near his abdomen. Raw flesh stained the brightest red you had ever seen consumed your field of vision, mocking your belief that the man this had happened to was invincible. Tears blurred your vision as somewhere in the background you heard Inupi try and explain that the stab wound wasn’t too bad-it had missed his vitals-it was far shallower than it appeared.

Though he was unconscious, the pain etched into Taiju’s furrowed brow told you all you needed to know. Your eyes weren’t deceiving you, he really had lost. For the first time in his life Taiju Shiba had entered an altercation that he did not come out on top of and this was the after math of his actions.

The scene was too surreal. You had never seen Taiju in physical pain before, taking some of the hardest blows imaginable head on and reacting to them with nothing but a cruel smirk on his face. It made you wonder if whatever had occurred tonight at the church was more than just the average gang tussle.

Inupi and Koko helped you clean him up. You were thankful to have them around, not sure what you would have done had Inupi not had been able to stitch him back together. Despite being surrounded by it, gore had never been your strong suit. Other than gathering supplies, cleaning affected areas, and applying ice and bandages, you felt useless as you watched Taiju writhe around in a restless sleep, moaning in discomfort with each healing application. At some point his hand found yours and squeezed so hard you thought he may break it. Your bones groaned under the pressure, but you squeezed it back to let him know you were there, using your free hand to wipe the gathering sweat from his forehead.

When things calmed down, Koko pulled you to the side while Inupi finished up with Taiju. His face was grim when he stopped in the dimly lit hall, and now that your initial shock had faded it was clear to see that he also hadn’t made it out of the scuffle without taking blows.

“(Name)…” he sighed, contemplating how to proceed. His focus darted from you to Taiju in the next room over, his frown deepening each time he spotted his fallen boss. His eyes were a stormy mix of resentment and disappointment as they passed over his disheveled form, scoffing before he directed his full attentions your way. “It’s time to jump ship.”

Despite his tempestuous nature, his words came out surprisingly clear, ringing through the air like a bell. “With Taiju falling, the Black Dragons are done for. We need to get out of here before things get worse.”

His words caused a whiplash, leaving you dumbfounded that someone who had always appeared so loyal would say something so frank. You had expected an explanation, or at bare minimum, a rundown of what transpired from when Taiju kissed you goodbye at the door, to when they dragged him home. Who did he fight? Did it happen at the church, or did they jump him before he got there or after he left? Was that gang still looking for him? Would they come back to try and finish the job?

A few hours ago Yuzuha ran off without offering an explanation either, and she hadn’t answered your texts or calls the entire night. For that matter, neither did Hakkai. Were the two of them involved and were they okay? Did they know the state their brother was in, or were are they fucked up worse than he was somewhere?

You mind whirred with questions, your body teetering as the severity of this situation hit you. Someone out there was stronger than the indomitable Taiju Shiba, and if they had the strength to bring him down then what was stopping them from coming back for the kill? If some provoked, hot-tempered monster of a gang boss tore down your door right now there would be no way you could protect Taiju, let alone yourself. You felt tears burn your eyes, your breath coming out in ragged gasps as your hand gripped your chest. Your brain screamed to try and call Hakkai and Yuzuha again, but the dread filled thought that they may not be alive to answer kept you glued in place.

Your duress had not gone unnoticed, and it took you a moment to realize that Koko had pulled you into his chest, wrapping you close in a constraining embrace. Your breath caught as you felt him stroke your hair, soft murmurs of affirmation pressed against your ear. His arm snaked around your back, the heat of his body scorching as his fingers left angry red indents in your flesh.

His presence was nothing but a burden to you already overwhelmed form.

Bile rose in the back of your throat. This wasn’t a friend trying to comfort you in a time of need. This was an opportunist trying to strike his claim.

“I know this is scary,” he whispered, his breathing labored, “but I need you to go grab what you can. We can’t stay here any longer, (name). It’s over now.”

With all the strength remaining within you, you shoved him away, both parties tripping a bit as distance was created. The confusion and hurt that engulfed his expression was temporary, quickly replaced with annoyance. A scowl rested on his lips as you confronted him.

“What the hell happened,” you cried, a tear streaking down your cheek. “Who did this to Taiju? Where are Hakkai and Yuzuha? And what do you mean it’s over? Koko, what the fuck happened tonight?”

After a moment’s contemplation, he relented. You listened aptly as he explained how the night progressed, from escorting Taiju to his yearly Christmas Eve pilgrimage, to dragging his broken body back home. He explained Toman’s interference and how Yuzuha had stabbed her older brother with the intent to kill. Much like your own sister, she had finally reached a point where she would no longer idly stand by and let Taiju do as he pleased.

Much to your relief, Koko did explain that both she and Hakkai, though a little roughed up, were fine and safe with Toman’s inner circle. You weren’t the keenest on its members, but you had met a few through your association with Hakkai and they seemed an amiable enough sort, even if they were Taiju’s enemy. It put you at ease to know the sibling were with them, and it consoled you to know the chance of Hakkai’s gang coming back for Taiju was slim to none.

Koko concluded his retelling by explaining how the arrival of Toman’s leader had spelled the conclusion of the fight, his appearance ultimately put a stop to Taiju. With their boss’ resounding defeat, the end the Black Dragons as you know it had been solidified.

You listened numbly to the entire sordid tale. The shock of Taiju’s bloodied body on the couch wasn’t waning, and now that you knew all that transpired, a tremendous ache had bloomed in your core. All this planning, scheming, and unrest was going on under your nose without you even realizing it. Yuzuha had planned to kill Taiju, and she damn well almost did judging by the oozing wound you just helped patch up. A whole gang war erupted right down the street from you all while you sat around at home, none the wiser.

Yuzuha, Hakkai, Taiju… None of them may have returned from that.

“(Name),” Koko’s voice broke through to you, a sickening sweet tinge to it. You realized then he was touching you again, this time more gently, his fingers trailing up and down the length of arm. “I’ll keep you safe. Now that Taiju has been taken down, you’ll come with Inupi and me. We’ll leave before Taiju gets up-“

“Shut the fuck up Koko.”

The bite in your tone halted his motions, his expression dancing between agitation and shock as you ripped yourself from his grasp.

“If you want to leave, then leave. In fact, that’s probably for the best. You know where the door is, see yourself out.”

His hand tightened into a fist, body vibrating as he withheld his rage.

“Don’t you see,” he spoke through clenched teeth, “Don’t you see all the shit I did for you? Me, personally, not that abusive shithead you were cradling so lovingly in your arms minutes ago.” His eyes traveled to Taiju before falling back to you. “I know he took the credit for half the shit I did, but who do you think supported you these past years? Your home, the food you ate, the clothes on your back… you really think this asshole knew how to make all that happen?”

He took another step towards you, “I supported you, ME. I took care of you and protected you, I provided for you, I sheltered you as best I fucking could from this monster and his violent mood swings, and still… still you pick him over me?”

There was desperation in his voice as he pleaded with you, watery eyes giving you a glimpse of his breaking heart.

“So that gives you a right to my love,” you croaked out, the broken words tumbling from your lips, “I don’t recall ever asking for you to do any of that for me Koko, but I guess I owe you now, huh? Does that make me your property, just like I’m Taiju’s?”

You noticed him flinch, the ice in your words plastering a scowl on his lips. His body grew stiff as you took an unsteady step his way. “And that’s what everyone wants right, to be the one to own it all? The power, the money, the people, all of it should be yours to do as you see fit, that’s what all this is about right? Who gives a shit what the actual human beings involved feel or want?”

You held his gaze, matching his intensity. The room was thick with tension, and your knees were knocking so violently you felt as if you would crumble any second.

Still, you held your ground.

“I never wanted this to happen to anybody. I didn’t want anybody to get hurt, but that’s all that seems to happen anymore.” You took a shuddering breath, “And idiotic as I may be, I’m not leaving Taiju while he’s like this. I… want to be by his side. That’s my decision.”

He stared at you with hard eyes as the seconds crept by. You heard Inupi shuffle in the other room until he came into view, tentatively making his way over to Koko. He placed a hand on his friends shoulder, shooting him a knowing look that caused the dark haired boy’s body to slightly deflate.

“It looks like I’ve upset you. Sorry, that wasn’t my intention.” He turned on his heel, motioning for inupi to follow as he made his way towards the exit. He stopped briefly at the threshold, pivoting his head your way one last time.

“I won’t bother you again, but I want you to remember one thing,” there was a waver in his eyes as turned around once more, “I don’t own you, but Taiju doesn’t either.”

The door clicked softly as they left, leaving you utterly alone.

You made your way back to Taiju, fretting over what to do next. You debated calling an ambulance, but realized if Koko and Inupi went through the trouble of dragging him all the way home there was probably a good reason they didn’t take him to the hospital to begin with. Taiju had no friends to call now that the Black Dragons had apparently disbanded, and Hakki and Yuzuha were going through their own trials. You alone were now tasked with being Taiju’s savior.

You were vaguely aware that you were pacing, constant motion matching the onslaught of thoughts that fretted your brain, worrying about all that could go wrong.  What if the stab was deeper than you thought, or you didn’t clean it well enough and it got infected? What if there was some other wound you missed, or damage happened internally that you weren’t aware of?

A cold sweat pooled on your brow. What would you do if Taiju died?

“You stayed.”

His voice fell through the crack of his lips, small and fragmented. You were at his side in an instant, crouching on your knees beside where his head lay. He lifted his shaky hand to find purchase on your skin, his grip felt unsteady and cold as it grazed your face. Your expression softened. This was the first time in your life that you had ever seen him vulnerable.

“You could have gone with them, but you stayed with me.”

He attempted to raise his torso, but you placed your hands on his shoulder to slowly guide him back down. Gently reprimanding him, you sat yourself on the far end of the couch and gingerly repositioned his head so that it was nestled in your lap.

“Of course I stayed,” you murmured, softly carding your fingers through his messy hair, “I wouldn’t be much of a guardian angel if I left you like this, would I?” His lips upturned at your words, letting out a relieved breath. “But Taiju… Why didn’t you tell me things had gotten like this? I had no idea… I didn’t realize… If I had known, I wouldn’t have let you leave…”

You tripped over your words, a fresh batch of tears dribbling down your face to land upon his. You squeezed your eyes shut in an attempt to staunch them, embarrassed that Taiju was the one so badly hurt, yet you were the one sobbing.

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes shot open, surprised to hear the words directed your way.  Glancing down at the man in your lap, you saw that he was crying too.

“I really fucked up, didn’t I?” He nestled his face against your stomach, and you realized that even in this battered state, maybe he was embarrassed too. “With the black dragons, with Yuzuha and Hakkai, with you… I feel like I’m losing everything all over again.”

He winced when he tried to roll on his side, the wound near his back a fresh reminder of the night’s failures.

“…Maybe somethings were lost,” you spoke slowly, “And things have definitely changed. But it doesn’t have to be for the worse, and it doesn’t mean that you are going to face it alone. Even if you lost this time and really messed up … I’m so glad you made it home to me Taiju.”

He turned his attentions back your way, intense emotions wavering in his tear stained eyes.

“I am too, baby.”

There was something in the way his voice wavered, how his eyes continued to stare up at you with a vulnerability you never imagined Taiju could exhibit. Your heart was breaking the longer you held him. With strained effort he lifted his arms once more, placing his hands lightly on your cheeks as if he were holding something incredibly fragile. He gently rubbed a tear away as it streaked across your face, his eyes drinking in your features as you stared down at him.

“You know, with the light shining behind you like that, you really do look like an angel, (name).”

Despite the tremendous pain he was in, a genuine smile graced his lips.

Taiju had hurt you more times then you could count and in ways you would never wish on anybody. There was toxicity dripping from every facet of your relationship with him. It wasn’t right, you couldn’t even call it good, but in that moment as you nestled his wet face in your arms, you realized that you loved him so much that you really didn’t care. Maybe he had broken you down to this point, forcing his affections onto you until you caved, but it was true.

Taiju Shiba had you completely, and that wasn’t going to change.