#Also I am NOT watching all of Malta's semi finals now because I am tired and there's way to many songs

[bowithoutadaemon]

The fuck? They got rid of the unique slogan for each year and will just stick with United by Music for forever now?

I did love the slogan last year and it does describe what Eurovision wants to do. But come on, the new slogans were fun! :/

Also checked out France's entry and the song is meh but the vocals are real strong. Let's see what kinda performance they come up with.

[eurotastic]

Eurovision reviews: Semi 2

When the obvious winner is in the big 5, the semis just feel a little weird. With semi 1, we have Portugal, who could win if the juries decide to wreck Italy’s score, but in semi 2 there is not a single winning candidate, which just makes it...I don’t want to call it pointless, but I’d definitely call it a weak semi. 

But you know that I’ll review every single song anyway, because I love every single second of this bullshit competition.

1: Serbia: Tijana Bogićević-In Too Deep

What a weird way to start off the night. This is pretty modern and cool, but it just can’t stand out whatsoever. Everyone will have forgotten about it by the fifth song or so. 

4/10

2: Austria: Nathan Trent-Running On Air

I hate Ed Sheeran. A lot. I’m not saying this song sounds exactly like him, but it’s the same genre, and I hate this genre more than anything. With that said, I can’t believe how much I actually like this. It might be the staging, which is fantastic, and really takes this basic, natural-sounding song to the next level.

6/10

3: Formeryugoslavianrepublicofmacedonia: Jana Burčeska-Dance Alone

The difference between a non-qualifier and a song that finishes last is the performance. In fact, many songs that have finished last through the years have been good songs, destroyed completely by a bad performance (I’m willing to bet that Iceland came last in semi 1, there were lots of worse songs but the performance is what sunk it). 

The formeryugoslavianrepublicofmacedonian song is actually one of the better pop songs this year, but as soon as i saw previews of the performance I knew it would have a really hard time qualifying. I hope I’m wrong, because the song is fire. 

7/10

4: Malta: Claudia Faniello-Breathlessly

Thank fucking god there are so few ballads tonight, after semi 1 I never wanna hear another ballad in my entire life. 

3/10

5: Romania: Ilinca ft. Alex Florea-Yodel It!

How does a human being come up with this concept? Did they write down random music genres on a dartboard to come up with this unholy genre combination? Why is it so catchy? Why do I like this? Who cares?

10/10

6: The Netherlands: OG3NE Lights and Shadows

This song basically exists under the assumption that these girls can make anything sounds amazing. Their vocal harmonies are fantastic, but the song is just a tired cliché, and that’s not enough. I’m sure their voices will sound great though.

4/10

7: Hungary: Joci Pápai-Origo

Not that the bar is raised very high to begin with, but this is definitely the best attempt at fusing rap and traditional music I’ve ever heard. It’s monotonous and somber, but it definitely works. Also, if you squint and turn your TV upside down, the singer kinda resembles Oscar Isaac. That’s a nice bonus.

7/10

8: Denmark: Anja-Where I Am

Denmark, which is my favorite third world country, hasn’t been to the grand final since 2014, and I find that way funnier than I should. It would be fun if they missed another final, but at the same time I almost think this singer deserves a little better. 

This song is just so fucking boring, but the juries might put it through based on a strong vocal performance. 

3/10

9: Ireland: Brendan Murray-Dying to Try

If this song was called Trying to Die i would probably enjoy it a lot more. It would make the staging fit the song even better, it could end with the hot air balloon exploding and killing little Brendan! I’d vote for that.

(EDIT: When I say “killing little Brendan”, I mean fake dying like Lady Gaga at the 2009 VMAs, you know, just for drama. I’m really sorry if it sounded like some kind of death threat!)

3/10

10: San Marino: Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson-Spirit of the Night

Who is this random american dude and who tricked him into singing with Valentina? Did Uncle Siegel lure him into a white van?

[Edit: I just found out that the “random american dude” has played the lead in a german musical about President Obama, and that’s the weirdest fucking thing I’ve heard all week. Now I just hear Obama’s voice whenever Jimmy sings.]

Most countries don’t let artists who fail in ESC represent them again, but San Marino isn’t most countries. Is it possible that Valentina is the only singer in the country, and they don’t have a choice but to send her? She’s actually a pretty fun performer, but i wish they’d finally give her a decent song, this is a dated mess (but a fun dated mess).

3/10

11: Croatia: Jacques Houdek-My Friend

I know schizofrenic isn’t the right word to describe this, but it’s the first thing that comes to mind. The way he switches between his Big Important Opera voice and his Boyband Voice is a trainwreck, his stupid fucking outfit is a trainwreck, the italian lyrics are stupid, and the fact that Croatia’s “Homophobe of the year” is singing this disaster in front of a goddamn double rainbow takes it to a new level of awful.

With that said, the grand final wouldn’t be complete without this catastrophe.

?/10 (can not be rated in any human number system)

12: Norway: JOWST-Grab The Moment

I can’t decide if I like this or not...It’s decent for radio but I’m not sure if it’s interesting enough for Eurovision. Probably not qualifying.

4/10

13: Switzerland: Timebelle-Apollo

This song is about as interesting as watching yellow paint dry, but at least the singer has the best eyebrows I’ve seen in a long time.

4/10

14: Belarus: Naviband-Story of My Life

Goddamn hippies. 

6/10 

15: Bulgaria: Kristian Kostov-Beautiful Mess

The only song from this semi that could end up in the top 3. Super modern. but I still feel like it’s more of a slow radio hit. 

7/10

16: Lithuania: Fusedmarc-Rain Of Revolution

I’m willing to say that this is the worst song of the year. It can’t even be compared to any human music genre on earth, it’s just aimless screaming over a bland instrumental that tries to be dramatic. It’s not even funny, I just hate it. 

0/10

17: Estonia: Koit Toome & Laura-Verona

When I first heard this song, I thought it was a mistake. A dated, boring mistake. However, after hearing it in rehearsals over and over it has definitely become a favorite of mine. 

I hear people are calling it an 80′s throwback, but I’d say it sounds more like swedish schlager from the early 2000s, production-wise. In fact, I think if this song had competed in Melfest in ~2003, it would have won, it’s schlager perfection. No matter how good I think it is though, the fact that it sounds dated will bring it down, but I hope it qualifies. Estonia deserves it after last year’s disaster.

9/10 

18: Israel: IMRI-I Feel Alive

I just really miss Golden Boy when I hear this song. Couldn’t they at least recycle some of the choreography? 

5/10