#All men are equal has to stay in the agency and conveniently the only one that doesn't have an ability is the “adopted” prodigy of the boss
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kunikidaslove · 23 days ago
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If Fukuzawa really has to go then I demand that he passes his ability to Ranpo like Kyouka and Mizuka's mothers did with their daughters or I'm throwing hands
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mythvoiced · 1 year ago
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Men of all cultures and all times and all dimensions have found relatively dull, boring ways to describe women like Akina. Vixen, witch, equaled to all sorts of spirits and animals, punished for how beautiful they are merely because they had the audacity of being smart on top of it.
Using any of them to describe Akina right now would work for the scene she's setting up. Her arms barely a weight around his neck, his smoke mingling between them, as if attempting to create a barrier Karube is too cowardly to properly set up between them - his name is divine on her tongue, to his ears - because could he survive losing the one good drug he's got left?
'Drug', that's another one.
Women are rarely women these days. They're only whatever they're compared to, only how negative the impact a man's reaction to one has on his own life. If he cheats, if he kills, if he hurts, if he leaves, it's always her fault, she wasn't enough, she was too much, she wasn't exactly what she needed to be, and she was too good at being exactly what she was supposed to be.
There's no winning.
He doesn't know any of this on his own skin.
All he knows is that he cares, every now and then, to figure out better ways to describe Akina Mori.
He's never been particularly eloquent, though.
His eyes have to do the talking for him, black to contrast with the faux colour of his hair, black to contrast with her deeper night, as if she were all the witching hours at once, and he's a room you've turned the lights off in. Hardly the same thing, though one terrifies for the power of the unknown natural... and the other for the lack of luxury, the lack of privilege, the lack of money.
Akina is a force of nature and Karube is just a poor looser wallowing in self-pity, surviving one sliver of attention at a time, hating himself for it the moment evening comes.
He stays silent for a long time.
He doesn't push her away, or try to move away himself.
He takes another drag and admires her as if he's allowed to, as if he's in any way entitled to the sight of her. Or maybe like he's conceding, doing this, partaking only because she's provoking. Granting agency only when it's convenient.
"Says a lot more about him and you, than me, don't you think?" he replies in the end. His tone is softer, but it lacks in warmth. The second man, again and always. Does it truly bother him?
Does he love Emi?
Does she make him feel like there's a point to it, the way she does?
Does it only bother him because it encompasses the role he feels he plays in life: a thrift shop, along with all its assumptions and reputations.
"You said 'she thinks'," he goes back to, leaning into the counter, as if relaxed under her arms, in this position. What if they get caught? Unlikely. But what if they do?
"Does that mean you aren't friends?"
    i'm helping her cheat on our boss .
 her mouth hangs open then pulls into a cute ' o ' shape , all the theatrics to irritate him further . as if she's just received the juiciest gossip of her life ; SHE NEVER UNDERSTANDS THE LOGIC OF CHEATERS . if you're not ready to be with one person then it's useless to force yourself to , though she completely ignores the fact that some people are living for the thrill of it . well , akina often gifts them with the thrill of worrying about her seducing their dads when they get too close and personal with her . always works .
 ❛ not stupid , maybe . but god , s o desperate . ❜ a disgusted twitch of her nose . what akina can be proud about is that she has , never will , and couldn't do it . ❛ she thinks i'm her friend , silly . ❜ that's why she makes the mistake of talking to akina about these stuff . after a few seconds , she's changing her position ; she's swiftly jumping to sit on the bar counter in front of him . nobody would walk in at this hour , and emi already texted her this morning that her boo had taken her out for a road trip . palms grip the edge of the counter , as she leans in . staring straight into his dark gaze ; you'd need a map to get out of them . ❛ say , daikichi . i'm still dating jito . would you help me cheat on him ? hm ? ❜
 it's an UNNECESSARY use of power against someone who's obviously suffering from the fact that they're the second one ; the other one , the one who's too easy to let go , to replace even . akina isn't him , will never be him — it's irritating her . and she's pouring her bitterness on him . before he can reply , she's snaking her arms around his neck , head tilting to the side like a patient predator . then comes a quiet whisper ; ❛ scratch that . . . i wouldn't even look at him if i saw you . ❜
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soundsaboutrighttumblr · 4 years ago
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WBL meta
We best love: fighting Mr. 2nd episode 2:
Some first, non-exhaustive meta thoughts and reactions to episode 2, about doors left open and overprotective dramatic men, Shu Yi’s relative level-headedness and stuff that finally seems to get rolling
          Last ep’s ending scene again without music was powerful. It’s even more clear like this how even though he submits in words, the control over the scene goes over to Shi De once more, so of course Shu Yi has to angrily nope out, because yeah, too close to where it hurts.
          I like Zhe Yu’s dominance, it brings drive and direction to scenes and development. Also, the petty quasi passive aggressiveness, that in discussing it aloud in Shu Yi’s presence in the car isn’t all that passive actually? Very delightful, especially together with Bing Wei’s gentle care.
         There in the car is the first sign in this ep that Shu Yi can actually step back from his emotions and assert a situation correctly and with honesty, which is why he apologizes. He makes us forget he can do that, and it might be one of the main points of this episode and hopefully what’s to come? That the men in Shu Yi’s life underestimate that ability in him and in their intentions to protect him or take care of him overlook that he has this capability. Because Dad, Shide? Your asses are pretty dramatic, too, and this ep shows that Shu Yi can be the relatively clear-headed calm one, if he needs to, chooses to. You are all underestimating him, and not seeing all that he is and can be yet. I mean yeah, he has a track record, but the fact that he has to remind people in his job even all the time that he knows what he is doing, that he WILL take responsibility, even though he gets emotional? I just wonder what amazing things giving him some credit and trust on that in the future will bring.
          I did like that stalker-Shi De overheard that convo again, because it stubbed the ‘lead him on then break his heart’ plot in the bud in the best way, it accelerated things and Shi De’s break down, but it didn’t take time from them in unnecessary side arcs? I like that, even though it really felt a bit convenient, but then again… I’ll take it happily.
         That typing scene? Where you just wanna yell at them TALK? Man, so close. That must be one heroic promise. I am only being half-sarcastic here. They do have their reasons and intentions, just to show again where it can drive people? The crescendo, the anti-climax? Well done scene.
         Still forcing it all down, Shi De, your words, the alcohol in Shou Yi’s bar… That physically hurt, the way he forced it down, so much of it, though you could tell he could barely keep it down.
          I really, really look forward to knowing more about Doc’s and Technical Chief’s story. Thank you for that music vid in the meantime.
         Workaholic responsible self-distracting Shu Yi and… Hiiii? You gotta be kidding me. Okay, let’s do this.
          That scene: I believe the door stays open out of dramaturgical choice. I will never excuse any overbearing, boundary crossing behaviors, and that obviously is what’s happening here, Shi De, and that will be your thing to work on, maybe Dad’s too, but. The door left open, and the calm demeanor that Shu Yi displays, to me showcase that to some extent Shu Yi chooses to stay in that situation, because he wants answers. Because he CAN choose to stay in that situation, because if he really wanted out he could flare up his anger again, kick some more nuts and leave. I realize this is a difficult argument in a sensitive issue. It’s what I make of it, though. Like I said, unhealthy but powerful things are happening here, but a lot of what they are doing right now is unhealthy, and it is shown to be so I believe, which is important, and it will be their job to realize, question and overcome this.
          So yeah, Shu Yi totally kneed Shi De in the nuts as a warning at around 23:41.
         That river of regret and tears then that switch to the defensive -You are messing with me- again, but still taking it all on your shoulders as a regret and outcome of your decisions, letting him see you struggle with the weight of it all but still not sharing it? That’s a lot to put on Shu Yi, only you don’t, but you do? What a scene, those tears falling onto Shu Yi, yes, Shi De putting his weight on Shu Yi literally, then taking it away again, then throwing it in some more with a plead of emotion, oh boy.
          That shushing and the holding Shu Yi’s questioning mouth shut? Powerful and wrong and powerful.
         Yeah, it hurts and it feels far from right, as it is meant to I believe,  but still the moment Shu Yi kisses back? We still want them to be inevitable, right. I do. Just learn and grow, and I’ll love you from over here.
          Yes, that was on hell of a breakdown, but as far as character development and tension and release is concerned we’re still in that crescendo.
          Maybe the reason that this ep doesn’t leave me all that devastated is the ending, because ooops, something slipped there, Dad, and finally, finally things will have to give, with the truth and those misunderstanding and the scheming and those heroic promises.
            So yeah, Dad will have to realize that Shu Yi must be free to live a life of his own with his own choices, a quite common struggle for protective parents, and Shi De will have to learn that Shu Yi needs to have agency in this relationship too, for when you are equal, you will realize Shu Yi actually IS strong enough to hold you, once you let him, Shi De.
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harrowscore · 3 years ago
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Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3
SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3
okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):
general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (THEE little feral anime man after my heart)
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (Dark, Tall and Snarky + piercing grey-blue eyes and chronic insomnia? clearly my type ❤)
hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.
daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.
best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.
worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.
ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.
brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)
needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao
misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤
(okay, this is getting long!)
mikasa:
general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them (so much. she deserved better ❤️) | actual love of my life 
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! (stunning lady ❤) | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.
daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.
best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.
worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.
ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.
brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.
needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.
misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.
misa:
general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.
best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.
worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).
ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3
brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?
needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.
misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.
aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):
general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.
daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao
best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)
worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.
ship them with: no one.
brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.
needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://
misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.
okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤
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kattahj · 4 years ago
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Review quotes of Booboo Stewart’s performance in Let Him Go
Okay, yeah, so I totally checked over 100 reviews of Let Him Go just to see what they had to say about Booboo Stewart. Relevant quotes under the cut, but let’s just summarize first:
Apparently the film starts out as a slow drama and ends up as a bloody revenge flick, which means that there are some reviewers who go “it takes forever to get started, but once it does it’s great!” and other reviewers who go “it started out really nice, but wtf was that ending?”
Likewise, Booboo has a small role, and there are some reviewers who go “what was even the point of that character?” and others who go “I wanted the whole movie to be about that character!” Also plenty who don’t mention him at all.
The important bit: while I have seen some criticism of the writing of his character, I have not seen a single reviewer criticize his acting. Everyone who mentions his acting is praising it.
And here are the quotes (spoilers!):
"For the stunner of the film, Booboo Stewart plays Peter" (Military Press)
"The supporting cast is strong, with impressive performances from Booboo Stewart [...]  " (We Live Entertainment)
"The supporting cast presents a solid ensemble, most notably Booboo Stewart of Twilight and X-Men who plays the only ally of the Blackledge’s, the tragic and heroic Peter Dragswolf." (Republic Times)
"But it’s lesser-known actors like Kayli Carter and Booboo Stewart who really shine, making the most of smaller, quieter roles." (AZ Central)
"Booboo Stewart (from Walt Disney’s Descendants films) offers a rich turn as a young ingenious [sic!] man who ran away from a brutal “Indian School” and to whom Lane’s mourning mother implicitly looks at as a second chance."   (Forbes)
"With strong supporting roles from the likes of Booboo Stewart [...]  " (KGun9)
"We also get some strong supporting work from Booboo Stewart as a Native American loner who befriends Margaret and George." (Flickreel)
"The list of great performances in Let Him Go only grows once Margaret and George hit the road, including a nice turn from Booboo Stewart as a skittish residential school runaway who reluctantly helps the couple on their journey. " (The Gate)
"Booboo Stewart, in a sensitive and winning performance" (Chicago Sun Times)
"The Blackledges are never fleshed out beyond what they represent, but there’s another character worth caring about — a young Native American runaway (Booboo Stewart) called Peter by the people who stole him away to the Indian Residential School from which he’s just escaped. Stripped of his name, forced to forget his language, and alone in a country taken from his people, “Peter” is a poignant emblem of what people like George and Margaret are only learning in their twilight years: America has always been a country that takes without asking, and we’d sooner burn it to the ground than stop living all over each other. It’s only with Peter’s help that “Let Him Go” is able to find something worth saving in the ashes." (Indiewire)
"Booboo Stewart brings real emotion and empathy to a handful of scenes as a fugitive indigenous man who ran away from a brutal “Indian school” and provides some backup for Margaret and George." (The Wrap)
" Booboo Stewart (the Twilight saga) as a horse riding loner the couple encounter along the way is terrific, serving in a key capacity late in the film." (Deadline)
" A Native American drifter (Booboo Stewart) who befriends them and briefly recounts his traumatizing experience at a culture-crushing boarding school offers a wistful glimpse at the kind of character-driven storyline that the film deserts halfway down the road." (Slant - which hated the rest of the film)
"With powerful supporting characters such as Booboo Stewart[...]" (Eminetra)
"And then along the way the story does introduce us to some characters that have stories of their own that unfortunately aren't explored as much, and one of those characters was probably one of the more interesting parts of the story for me. It's a character played by actor Booboo Stewart, and he's really good! I don't know, there's not another word I can say without spoiling anything, but he's very, I don't know, you can tell he's carrying a lot of his past with him, and I wanted the story to almost explore more of his character, rather than anyone else's. Unfortunately, that's not the case." (Reel James - youtube video)
And the cast is rounded out with a new generation of promising performers in Brittain, the excellent Carter, and Booboo Stewart as Peter, a young Native American man who the Blackledges encounter. His personal story of being taken as a child to an abusive “Indian school” is part history lesson, part a look into Jimmy’s potential future should he stay with the sadistic Weboys. (LA Times) 
"The only time Let Him Go really comes to life is when it puts the main story aside so Margaret and George can spend time with Peter Dragswolf (Booboo Stewart), a young Indigenous horseman they meet on their journey—and who, because this is really just a pulp Western, becomes an invaluable ally in the back half of the story.
(cont.) "Bezucha treats Peter as a source of exposition and white-knighting—a chance for us to understand that George and Margaret are more evolved than the other white folk Peter has encountered in his life—but Lane and Costner don’t condescend to the material the way their director does, and they bring out a wounded, cautious quality in Stewart he doesn’t often get to show.
(cont.) "I don’t think I’ll spend much more time thinking about Let Him Go, which is ultimately just a junky revenge movie that wastes a lot of very talented actors’ time and will probably also waste yours if you let it, but I expect that from time to time I’ll think about Stewart and Lane and Costner, just sitting out in the badlands together talking about horses, and wish someone had made a whole movie about that." (Straight)
Bezucha seems compelled to accentuate more compassionate moments, such as the Blackledges’ fairly contrived but still welcome relationship with a young Native American man played by Booboo Stewart. Best known for playing Seth Clearwater in The Twilight Saga, Stewart shows nice depth here as a peaceful drifter who helps George and Margaret pull off a hard-fought family reunion. (Collider)
They also meet others along the way, including Peter (a nice turn from Booboo Stewart) (Blu-ray.com)
Among the latter: an incongruously placed but engaging young Lakota man named Peter (Booboo Stewart) (Original cin)
I definitely want to give props to Booboo Stewart, who played Peter. If I'm being honest, I would have loved to have seen a movie just based on his upbringing. I thought that that young man, Booboo Stewart as Peter in this film, kind of this outcast in a sense, hearing his story was so tragic, and again, I would have loved to dug deeper into that, but man, this guy did a really good job in the little bit of scenes that we spent with him, and the scenes that he shared with Diane Lane I thought had a lot of emotional impact, and I thought he did a really good job in this movie as well. (Movie Files - youtube video)
Booboo Stewart does a solid enough job at offering a sympathetic new take on typically well-worn character tropes. (comingsoon.net)
In the supporting cast, Carter is fine, but Stewart invests greater poignancy into Peter, a young man robbed of his birthright but retaining the nobility it confers on him. (One Guy's Opinion)
Booboo Stewart also has a nice role as a local Native American escapee of a residential school, who helps the older couple in their quest, but has enough agency to know the two are pushing things way too far with the Weboy clan. (Joblo)
 I do have to call special attention to the amazing Booboo Stewart who plays a Native American lad who helps the couple, this being his second great role/performance of the year after The Grizzlies. (The weekend warrior blog)
Booboo Stewart of “Twilight” fame has a small part but elevates a handful of scenes as an ousted Native American looking for purpose. (Galveston Daily News)
Another standout is the very quiet Booboo Stewart, who plays Peter. He's a self-sufficient loner who is really kind, despite all the terrible crap that has happened to him. (Movies and Munchies - youtube video)
Plus, there is an actor by the name of Booboo Stewart, and he plays an American Indian in the film, Peter, who befriends the couple, and he is just outstanding in this film. I really enjoyed his performance. (Jackie K Cooper - youtube video)
And the supporting work from Donovan, Stewart, and Carter are all equally excellent. (CJ at the movies)
Another character worth mentioning was Booboo Stewart as Peter Dragswolf. He didn’t have a ton of screen time but the scenes he was in were filled with so much emotion. My heart went out to his character. (Funtastic life)
 [...]Even so with Booboo Stewart's character, they're great on screen, I don't have any qualms to their performances, but because you do... especially with Booboo's character, I got really invested in his story, but there's nothing else that's really done to, like, explore his character, almost to the point where his character wasn't needed. I wanted to actually see more of that character. (Pay or Wait - youtube video) 
1: I did also want to mention Booboo Stewart [...] as this young Native American they encounter who has run away from what they used to call Indian schools, where they basically, like, force you to learn English, and you know, it's the same kind of anti-Indigenous stuff that the British used to do in Australia, and we have our own sad, awful history of that in the United States, and so, his character I think is there obviously as a plot function, but I think he brings a real humanity to the role.
2: I was going to say, I wish there was more to him, though, because he does feel like an idea, like a device, and he does very conveniently show up when he is needed to, to help make things happen, and that feels a little contrived and I wish there was more to him.
1: But not the actor's fault!
2: No no no, it's in the script! (Breakfast All Day)
Booboo Stewart of “Twilight” fame has a small part but elevates a handful of scenes as an ousted Native American looking for purpose. (The Daily News)
A side-story involving an Indigenous man, Peter Dragswolf (Booboo Stewart), is as poignant and, in certain ways, historically urgent as it is extraneous to the main thrust of the story.  (Rolling Stone)
    The hardest thing for me to deal with was that it had some slow moments that I didn’t think needed to be there.  But on the other side of that, if they weren’t there, we wouldn’t have seen the nice performance of Booboo Stewart, who ends up becoming an important fixture.  (Power 98.3)
Another underused character with a strong part is Booboo Stewart as Peter - he has some of the best lines in just three scenes.  (Oakville News)
   While their roles were smaller, both Carter and Stewart left strong impressions as Lorna and Peter, each wounded and abused in their own way. (Rick's Texan Reviews)
   Booboo Stewart is even more heartbreaking as a young man who ran away from an Indian boarding school and runs into our questing couple. While I’m not sure what his larger purpose is in the movie, he brings a healthy dose of warmth and heart every second he’s onscreen.  (Vail Daily)
 One of my favorite characters was Peter Drags wolf (Stewart) a young Native American man living out on his own. (Portsmouth Daily Times)
Delivering a poignant counterpoint to the high stakes is Booboo Stewart (the Twilight series) who plays a young Native American nomad on the plains who forges a connection with the Blackledges. (I can't unsee that movie) 
A revenge thriller that leaves no easy answers “Let Him Go” stars Kevin Costner and Diane Lane with some meaty supporting performances by Lesley Manville as a powerful matriarch and Booboo Stewart who helps navigate the Dakota landscape. (testset) 
Even cast members in smaller roles, like that of cast-out Peter Dragswolf (Booboo Stewart), are solid and make an impression. (Gallup sun) 
Other good performances include Carter, who holds the viewer’s sympathies for the entire film as a victim of domestic abuse, and Booboo Stewart, who delivers a powerful performance as Peter Dragswolf, a Native American who helps the Blackledges on their quest. (Northern star) 
[...] and Booboo Stewart are also well-cast in their respective supporting roles. (Seongyong's private place)   
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purplesurveys · 5 years ago
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806
People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Welp, Descendants of the Sun got me curious about the mandatory military service in South Korea so I read all about that this morning. Apparently there’s a celebrity who tried getting out of his conscription by obtaining American citizenship shortly before he was due to be drafted, and the South Korean government wasn’t too pleased with what he did and banished him from the country permanently; to this day he lives in China, and he’s the only person in South Korean history to be given such a punishment. It’s both hilarious and sad. If you could get your own house with one friend, who would you pick? Gabie, duh. She’s my best friend so she counts too lol. Which is worse, too-tight clothes or much too-loose clothes? In terms of comfort? Too-tight clothing. But they look better on me than loose clothes, so I still prefer wearing tight ones. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles, or cereal? Pancakes. Waffles are nice too, but I prefer them paired with something savory. I can live without the other three. Do you think you are more of a good or bad influence? Good. I follow the rules way too much and the things I do that would make me a bad influence, like smoking, I only do with people who already do them.
Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? Not for me, but I don’t mind it if others get them. Yes or no: thongs for men? They can wear whatever they want. What is something that you are willing to fight for? Ousting the current government. If you jump, can you touch the ceiling of the room you're in? Definitely not. Do you know how to dance a waltz? No. I don’t even know what that dance looks like. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? Hey Jude. If you had to be a teacher, what subject would you be able to teach best? History for sure. I’d have a lot of fun teaching it too. :) Which do you think is worse: ear aches or tooth aches? I’ve never had an ear ache so I can’t compare, but tooth aches suck ass. I had a series of them from October to December last year and there were plenty of times I’d wake up at 2 AM and cry just because it hurt a lot. How many different colors are you wearing right now? What are they? Brown and black. In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Sunny and humid, which is – ever so conveniently – the usual weather where I live. It’s June now though thank goodness so I’m just waiting for the day the sun goes away for a while and for it to be replaced with thunderstorms. Do you look anything like your best friend(s)? I look nothing like either of them. You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? Paramore. Are there any movies coming out that you're looking forward to? Which ones? I...don’t think anything will be coming out for a while, though I am excited for Happiest Season which has Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis, as well as for Ammonite which stars Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan. Do you like big or small cars better? Idk man, as long as it can take me places I’ll be alright with it lol. What is your favorite made up animal? I don’t have a favorite of one of these. Yes or no: Hawaiian pizza? Not for me, but you do you. I hate it when people shame me for not liking Hawaiian pizza though, or when they force me to try it. Yes or no: Coffee Ice cream? Yummmmmmm. Mad Mark’s has a particularly good coffee flavor. Who is your all time favorite cartoon character? Spongebob. What store do you get the majority of your shoes from? Nike. What place, in your mind, is heaven on earth? How about hell on earth? Heaven on earth is any coffee shop with strong aircon, large selection of drinks, and acceptable pastries/cakes. Hell on earth is any government agency that I’ve had to line up for, such as the LTO.  Do you think there is anything scary about midnight? Not at all. I’m usually very awake by then and I find that time of the day comforting. Can you snap with both of your hands? Nope, I can’t do it with my left hand. In your opinion what is the absolute worst house chore? I haven’t had to do it myself yet but I suppose I’d hate cleaning the bathroom. How young do you think is too young to get married? I don’t really like answering questions like these because it’s typically a sensitive topic and everyone has their own preferences...personally though, I think getting married before 25 or 26 is a little early for me. Who do you think is the dumbest superhero? And the coolest? I don’t know much about superheroes. I know I like Wonder Woman though lol. Would you rather be a hair stylist or a clothes designer? Both require creativity, and I suck at that.
What is something that you had to learn the hard way? Loss. If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you paint it? Baby blue or baby pink; either would be fine. I’m still a kid at heart, haha. If I had the modern house of my dreams, I’d have my room painted gray. What is something you're proud of yourself for? Getting over my horrific depressive slump back in 2017. Which smiley face do you like better: =] or :) :) I haven’t used the equal sign for a smiley since like 2009. If you could go to any amusement park right now, which would you go to? Universal Studios in Singapore. What is something that always gets you mad? Paid government trolls. Would you rather be 3 inches taller or shorter than you are now? Taller. If you could have any wild animal as a pet, what would you pick? I would really prefer they stay in their natural habitat. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, Milk Duds, or Reese's Pieces? REESE’S. Feel free to have the rest of these, reader. Are there any foods that you think smell good, but taste bad? Longganisa. Without a goddamn doubt. Would you ever stay overnight at any of your neighbors houses? Not unless there’s an absolute emergency that leaves me no choice but to ask them if I can stay the night even though I’ve never talked to them. Do you think it would be funner to play a hero or the villain in a movie? Villain, haha. What was the last new food you tried? Did you like it? I’ve had the food before but my mom bought pork buns from a new place a few days ago. I didn’t really like it; I’ve had better pork buns in other restaurants. If you had the last name of your favorite actor, what would your name be? Winslet, heheh.
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neoclapyourhands-blog · 6 years ago
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EXO Love Shot: Cruel Favour (Mafia!Chanyeol x Reader)
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warning: mature, gore, yandere themes
word count: 4.7k
Love Shot Mafia Series
The atypical mafia troop EXO was formed in the disguise of a modeling agency, in which eight young handsome men use their charms and sly tactics to deceive the aristocracy. Through the practice of their lucrative methods of pulling off heists and discretely eliminating their competition, they are able to make a name for themselves, and rise as the most prestigious agency in Korea. But what happens when an intruder discovers the dark secrets and intentions of EXO, intentionally or not?
A collective series of one-shots (all x reader) featuring the EXO members as mafia gang members. Inspired by the latest comeback, Love Shot, of course.
Night shifts were too agonizing for you; your back would ache from the long hours of standing, and eventually start to slouch due to your bad habits and lack of proper exercise. Your boss wouldn’t let you sit down as you worked the cash register, already scolding you once without reasoning, until you did it again and he started to berate you with a lecture of how unprofessional you would look, portraying the store in a bad manner. Even then, you remained silent during his lecture, biting your tongue back from revealing the sarcastic snides running through your head, like the fact that this was a gas station convenience store, and not some high class restaurant. 
No matter, you were grateful of the pay and what the job entailed. You simply had to stock items here and there, and assist customers when they would come in to pay with cash, or when they picked up a quick snack. Along with the location you worked at, which was relatively isolated from the closest well populated city, it meant that the workload and customer interactions would only be way less. 
To your pleasure, things ran quite smoothly for the first two month. You played mini games on your phone to pass the time and not fall asleep from boredom. As a college student, you were very much used to staying up late, but it certainly didn’t help that the white LED lights of the store were sleep inducing because of your straining eyes begging to close. You managed to never let it happen, though, as you were well aware of the security cameras set up for your boss to review later and instantly fire you if you were caught for the third time. 
It was a Friday night when the first strange encounter with a particular customer occurred. Your friend had invited you out to a dessert shop, but you had to decline because you wanted to pick up the extra shift. So from 10 PM-5AM, you were stuck by yourself yet again...or so you thought.
Three o’ clock rolled around, which you took notice of from the clock on your phone, and you let a sigh escape your chapped lips, before purposefully releasing the ugliest yawn you could muster. You lean against the counter top, palm raising up your cheek, as you stared down the aisles. Your vision was starting to blur and get hazy, and before you knew it, your eyes had been closed for 5 seconds too long. But the distance muffled noises of a vehicle was approaching your hearing, and although you were in the state of zoning out, you were became immediately alert and hyper aware as soon as the sound reached your ears. You sprang up from your slump, hands sticking to your sides. For once, you thanked god that there was a customer, otherwise you would’ve definitely fallen asleep.
You watch from your register as a man on a motorocycle pulled up to one of the filling stations, the rumbling of their engine sounding erratic, as if it was quite low on fuel and quite literally about to run out. The man on the bike hopped off, his stature quite intimidating  from your position, as the dimmed lighting of the station made him appear as a tall, dark shadow. However, his long legs were taking him over to you, and not to the station to start filling up the bike. As he came closer, his striding figure was illuminated by the lights inside the store, and you were able to examine him. He was dressed rather peculiar, in merely an all black attire consisting of a leather jacket and denim jeans, within the dead cold of the night surprisingly. You could barely make out his expression because his dark greasy hair was hiding most of his face, aside from a his lips that were parted and cracked. His abs, which were of great detail, were certainly not hidden nor shy, as it the sweat accumulating all over his chest shone under the glaring lights. 
You start unintentionally sweating, not willing to admit to yourself that you were very much intimidated. You always heard of horror stories of employees that worked night shifts, especially those who worked at convenience stores. But you felt more assured that your fears were valid when the customer had caught your eye on his way to the entrance of the store, and never looked away until he was directly in front of you.
Towering over the counter, causing you to lean back slowly so he wouldn’t be able to tell that you were frightened, he pants heavily and asks, “You work here?”
You hesitate, looking up to him, wavering eye contact between his two pupils. His stare was sharp and cold, almost lethal at this level of proximity. 
“Well?” His voice is coarse, and he has to clear his throat. He eyes your nametag as you answer him back.
“Uh, yeah?”
The customer looks back up to meet your eyes, his focus solely fixated on you. Out of nowhere, he suddenly breaks into a smile.
“Can I borrow some money?”
You freeze. What an oddly polite way to rob a store.
“E-Excuse me?” You manage to answer back, still confused as to what his intentions were. 
“You know, money. I don’t ever carry cash, and I left my card at home. I swear I’ll repay you. Just this once help a guy out please!” The man starts to plead with you in a daringly innocent manner. You really would’ve thought it was cute and tried to warm up to him if it weren’t for the fact that he still looked like a he just came back from a turf war. 
Out of fear, you run inside to the staff room, where the man assumes you’re going to get the money he’s asking for, as he calls out “Five dollars please!”. You hide behind one of the walls once you entered, where he wouldn’t be able to see you. You stand motionless for several seconds, contemplating your decisions, before ultimately deciding to give the man what he wanted so he would leave you alone later. He wasn’t exactly threatening you or anything, and you didn’t really mind sparing the five dollars that you were supposed to have used today on delicious cakes. The thought was bittersweet; just because you didn’t have the perfect day you wanted doesn’t mean you should bring his day down.
You fished out five dollars from your purse, and then rushed back out to make sure he wasn’t actually a thief trying to take advantage of your kindness and steal behind your back. Luckily, he was still there, arms crossed, but a wide grin still present on his face. It surprisingly grew wider at the view of the crisp bill in your fingertips.
When you handed him the bill, he held it as if it was the most sacred treasure in the world. 
“You ever think about how money runs the world?”
You were caught off guard by his question, wondering why he would ask such a thing as he stared at the bill longingly. 
“Sure, but if that’s how the world runs, then I got to make sure I make ends meet.” You reply, a hint of snarkiness apparent in your tone, to which the stranger snickered at.
“You’re an interesting one. Here, I’d like to pay for gas and a snack.” He hands back the bill to you, and you give him a puzzled look.
“What snack, exactly? I need to know the price.”
The customer scans his surroundings briefly until he lands on a particular food item, which was a chip packet. He seems to not have read the label carefully, but picks it up anyways, and throws it onto the counter without hesitation.
“This one, exactly.” The cockiness in his tone is well matched to your early remark. You don’t question it and quickly ring him up, to which he throws his hands into his front pocket and smirks. When you look up to give him his change, his gaze has shifted and he looks innocent again, gladly accepting the small amount of change with a bow and murmur of repetitive “thank you’s”. 
You think you were rid of him finally once he was leaving your presence, but a sense of fear fills your being when he turns around and greets you goodbye:
“I’ll be back soon!”
“Forgot your card? Again? Really, Chanyeol, you can’t be pulling shit like this when we have scheduled plans like this!”
Kyungsoo reprimands Chanyeol, who is sprawled across the couch, the back of his hand rested against his forehead.
“Look at me, Chanyeol, this is serious!” Kyungsoo demands, and Chanyeol only groans in response. Kyungsoo looks over to Baekhyun and Suho, who are leaning against the wall, and if motions with his arms for them to help him knock sense into Chanyeol.
“Chanyeol, I-” Suho sighs, “You really are compromising everything by making silly mistakes like this.”
“You should carry cash.” Baekhyun adds.
“I already told you guys, I don’t carry cash. And I already apologized, let me live we have to be early tomorrow just let me sleep.”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes, while the other two tilt their heads in annoyance.
“What if while you were escaping, one of his men were able to catch up to you and get to you?” Kyungsoo proposes his scenario.
Chanyeol finally sits up to face Kyungsoo directly, sending an equally piercing glare and stating, “Well, it didn’t happen.”, before flopping back down and grabbing the closest pillow to huddle with.
“For fucks sake, you also revealed yourself to a local in your attire, and on top of that you asked them for money? You, a millionaire, and someone who’s life would be ruined if he owed a debt or favour to anyone, asked for money?” Suho’s tirade had began.
“Trust me, you guys. I know what I’m doing. Plus, she wouldn’t be the type of take advantage of anyone. In fact, I could’ve actually taken advantage of her, she was that weak, fun to mess around with.”
“You don’t know that. She could be dangerous. Anyone can be.” Baekhyun chimes in again, his voice much gentler than the other two. The silence that followed was obviously from Baekhyun’s hint at their own identities.
“You know we’re just saying this so you can be safe. Just don’t be irresponsible, okay Chanyeol?” Suho breaks the tension. When Chanyeol doesn’t respond to him, he iterates, “Okay?”
Chanyeol grunts, “Yes.”
Chanyeol wasn’t lying when he said he’d come back soon. At first, his words left you terribly afraid that he might come back and be eve more creepy, or just actual try to rob the store this time after gaining the knowledge that someone as feeble as you worked behind the counter. However, your sleepless nights and requests to stop working the night shift ceased the day he came back. It had been a week at this point since that Friday night, but this time around he came in early. It was eleven o’ clock when he strolled in, but this time not dripping in sweat and screaming “edgy”. He was dressed in more casual clothes, rather aesthetic and expensive looking attire, actually. He walked in and tried to make small talk with you, occasionally attempting to flirt. When he finally told you his name, he was surprised that you had never heard of him before. 
“Why, am I supposed to know you? Are you like a big celebrity or something?”
“Hah! Wouldn’t you wish I was so you could go on and brag to others that a celebrity flirted with you?”
“Nice try, weirdo.”
The conversation was much more fluid and natural, since the two of you were warm and open towards each other, quite the opposite of the high tensions from the previous meeting. To be fair, Chanyeol was quite stressed and tired that day, along with broke, and you were scared and tired. But being able to start fresh, especially with him dressed so nicely like a regular guy his age, made you warm up to him much more than you thought. Chanyeol’s personality was bubbly and fiery, which you could tell from his frequent smiles and bursts of laughter. You even dare say you found him more handsome each time he visited you. Soon, there wouldn’t be a day at work that went by without at least a 20 minute visit from him. Sometimes, he would stay for longer if he and the EXO members didn’t have any plans, or any life threatening escapes to make that required them to stay inside their house at all times. And you never complained, because you enjoyed his company, and his addicting smiles.
Eventually, what was more of a friendship where you pretended to tolerate him and his shenanigans turned into more. He would make passes at you more often, and you couldn’t tell if they were jokes or not, but you hoped they weren’t.
But you didn’t expect things to go south the day you were supposed to sneak out and go on a date with him. It had been a few months since you both met, and considering you both hit it off well at your second meeting and throughout, Chanyeol wanted to ask you out. And when he did work up the courage to ask you, you were slightly shocked, but nonetheless agreed gleefully.
You were standing outside of the store at around 1 AM, having already locked the building and turned off alll the lights. You clutched the key in hand, dressed in your best date outfit that you could pull off. Chanyeol had helped come up with an excuse for you to tell your boss, which would be that the cameras malfunctioned, so you had to turn them off, which was why he would have no footage. 
The harsh winds nipped at your bare legs and kept lifting up the short skirt you were dressed in, forcing you to hold down the skirt to prevent it from flying up. You stand for what seems like hours in the darkness, staring down the abandoned road, waiting for any light or sound of Chanyeol motorcycle. You could feel anger bubbling inside at some point, particularly after a full hour had passed without any sign of Chanyeol.
It was at this point that you decided to head inside and just work the rest of the shift, and if Chanyeol came, you would ignore him or yell at him, depending on how you would feel once he did show up. But as you waited, you would process your feelings and trying to calm down and warm yourself up from standing in the cold for so long. 
But as soon as you inserted the keys into the lock of the building, you heard a loud roar of an engine interrupt your angry thoughts, and when you turned around, Chanyeol is driving his bike up to you beyond a speed of your comfort. You start to yell for him to slow down, but your voice is drowned out by the roaring engine sounds. As Chanyeol pulls up to you, you notice that he has a potato sack behind him, strapped to the seat of the motorcycle. He gets of the bike and starts to untie the sack out of it’s little seatbelt. With his back turned to you, he begins his lengthy apology,
“Look, Y/N, I’m so so sorry! I really didn’t forget, I swear. Please forgive me. I had to deal with a last minute mission- er, I mean a last minute...” Chanyeol pauses in between his speech, and then turns around to examine you. He notices you’re pissed, but continues anyway, “You know what, you probably already know by now, or were at least suspicious of it when we first met. But Y/N, I have a huge favour to ask of you before we go on our date.”
“A favour? Chanyeol how dare you come an hour late, and then come and tell me to do you a favour? This is ridiculous, I don’t want to even see you right now.” You try to end the conversation, holding back tears from the confrontation, and try to turn around, but Chanyeol grabs ahold of your shoulder, and makes you sharply turn around to face him and his pleading eyes. 
“Please, just...I don’t know how you’ll react after this, and you might even never want to see me again, and that’s fine, but just do this for me and I won’t ever bother you again, I swear.” His promise to you this time was much scarier than before, wherein you were only intimidated by this stranger, but now you would possibly lose this new love interest and friend who you truly grew to love over the past few months. “You’re saying this favour could potentially drive me away from you, to the point that we will never see each other again? Are you trying to indirectly break up with me, or get rid of me somehow? This is all such a cruel joke.”
“It’s not a joke, Y/N. But, I will admit. It is a cruel favour.”
Chanyeol takes the sack in his hand, and throws it at your feet. The jawstring at the top of the bag loosens, and it reveals a part of what’s inside the sack. 
“Hide this dead body.” 
What you witness from inside the bag scars you; a bleeding, scalped head, with parts of the skeletal bones peeking at certain points around the face, suddenly sticks out from the opening. Startled at the cracking sound the sack made against the ground, you take a few steps back, but you let out a blood curdling scream when you notice the head.
Chanyeol yanks your shoulder hard to try and quiet you down, but you manage to escape his grasp and run across to the street. You stand on the road, tears relentlessly falling, and you’re on the verge of a mental breakdown as you threaten him, “I’m calling the police!”
Granted, this wasn’t your best option, as this only made him chase you down the road, to which you narrowly escape. But you were able to phone 911 while he did and scream the details about your location as you ran for your life. The distraction of your phone almost allowed him to catch up to you, but you were still able to run away.
“Y/N stop! You’ll regret doing this!” Chanyeol shouts at you, his tone sending a chill down your body. It wasn’t his usually sweet and endearing tone that he uses to address you. This time, it was terrifying, which only triggered you to run faster.
You were able to make a full circle and run back to the entrance to the store, and you decided to go inside and lock yourself in so Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to follow you inside. Your hands shook violently as you shuffled through the keys on the designated keychain you were given; the staff room key, bathroom key, and other unnecessary keys were all hard to tell apart in the dark, and you had no time to spare trying each one out, since a murderer was hot on your tail. By the grace of the heavens, the first key you fumbled into the lock had worked, but when you tried slamming the door with your back, Chanyeol had already reached you, and began slamming his own body weight against the door. You were powerless against him, and you were thrown onto the floor after his second push. He climbs over your body and straddles you, and he traces a finger across your jaw and down to your neck.
“Sweetheart, no point in running away now. I know everything about you. You ought to do everything I tell you to do.” He leans down to whisper into your ear, the weight of his body being pressed against your sides, limiting your ability to breathe.
For a moment, he lets his sadism show, and he grinds his body against your writhing, struggling form, as you let out weak coughs from your inability to properly breathe. He simply kisses your temples whenever you show any sign of struggle or react to his sloppy kissing. 
Consciousness almost gives up on you, and you slip in and out of it for a while as Chanyeol violated you and prevented you from breathing. The slow choking caused black dots to appear in your vision, and you almost didn’t hear the blaring alarms of the firetruck and police cars that pulled up right in front of the store. You almost didn’t hear the sound of the police banging against the door, threatening Chanyeol to put his hands up and freeze. Finally, Chanyeol had gotten off of you, and you lifted the cheek that was pressed up against the cold dirty floor to look up at your saviours. They were able to open the door, a group of them with large guns and varous weapons aimed at Chanyeol, while another group reached out to you with blankets and water cups. They escorted you out the building and towards the firetruck, repeating words of comfort to you, as well as asking you if the “attacker” had hurt you in any place specific, carried anything, did anything illegal, and too many questions that you knew the answers to now, unfortunately.
Who would’ve known that the sweet, energetic guy you fell in love with months ago would turn out to be this way?
The last vivid memory you had of him from that night was when you turned around briefly after entering the ambulance, and he was being pushed against the back of the police car, hands cuffed behind his back, but he was facing you. But this time, there was no glare, no terrifying stare, but rather a smile.
That sickly sweet, damned smile. 
You could never forget it.
And when you moved to the big city after 3 years of the incident, you would still never forget that smile, or how it followed you on every billboard that was advertised in the city. Him and his posse, as you learned dubbed themselves EXO, were plastered on every city street, wall, and building possible, and you were scared for the first time in 3 years that you would encounter him once more.
Your friend Mia, who was a coworker of yours at the gas station that you befriended, allowed you to have the opportunity to even move to the big city, so you were more grateful than scared, if anything. The fear mainly came from the fact that you never heard of Chanyeol’s state after that night, whether he was put in jail time or let go. But you knew nothing, no matter how many times or people you asked, they all refused to disclose the personal matters of Mr. Chanyeol, they would tell you, as if they were his associates.
You only realized that they very well could have been associates, or something of the sort, now that you realized he was one of the biggest celebrities in the country. You regretted not knowing him in the past; perhaps it would’ve scared him off if you were his fan, or let alone just knew of him and shown any signs of being star struck. 
But what mattered now was that you were starting off completely fresh at a new company. Granted, Mia was the one who also got you the job, but never told you the name because she said it was serious business, and you had to attend a meeting with the CEO first. However, the job she was offering to you pleased you enough, which was dress design and sewing, but you still had to prove your credentials and background at the meeting because you weren’t quite experienced as much as Mina. You were glad you would be working under her, though, and she would be able to guide you through the process of moving in and working under a professional business, and not odd jobs in the town like before.
When you arrive at the headquarters of the company, you are intimidated, to say the least. The skyscraper seemed to pass beyond the clouds when you looked up, and the multiple guards that surrounded the area were quite heavily armed and serious. You felt paranoia as you went up to them to try and enter, and twitched when the female officer asked for your ID and license. You gulped as she scanned the two, wondering if she would kick you out, or judge you. Somehow, you felt fearful, and you haven’t entered the building yet and stepped in for your meeting. You blamed it on the pesky butterflies eating away the inside of your stomach and causing your anxiety to shoot up. 
But with a polite, strict smile, the officer hands the two back to you, and lets you in,
“Welcome to EXO Headquarters.”
You freeze at her words.
“Did I hear her right?” You think to yourself, but enter through the door anyways, not wanting to stand outside any longer and let yourself have a breakdown. When you do go inside, you have no time to reflect on what she said, because the man of 3 years ago is standing only a few feet away from you in a suit and tie.
“Long time, no see Y/N.”
His voice engulfs you with a wave of memories, and you stare back in awe. Chanyeol takes this as a compliment, and takes a step closer, but your jaw stiffens and you shakily gulp. 
He takes in all your features, drinking in the delicate, innocent image he has of you, as though you never changed. From all these years of stalking and keeping up with every detail of your life, he was finally able to get you back into his arms. 
But God, you didn’t pay any attention to any of him, except his stupid smile. It was like he could never wipe off that stupid smile, and even during the events of that horrid night, his smile had never disappeared, it just portrayed a twisted message behind it. Even now, you wanted to believe he was the man he was before he showed his true self.
“I trusted you, Y/N.” Chanyeol whines in a low voice.
"Why would I trust a murderer?” You mumble, clenching your fists.
Chanyeol frowns, “I’m more than just that, you know. I was hoping you’d accept me on your own terms, but now I have no other choice but to force you to.”
He takes a bigger step forward, but this time holds your back with his arm so you couldn’t retreat away. Your breath hitches at the closeness, his overpowering cologne threatening to knock you out from the severe headache you were forming already.
“I’m leaving, let go.” You demand, trying to push his arm off you, but his grip reminds you of how weak you are compared to him.
“Leaving? Knowing this much about the truth of EXO? And asides that, you think I’ll sacrifice all this work over the past couple of years to find you, just to let you go? I’ve been waiting for this moment for too long, to see your reaction to me, unaffected by the little stunt you pulled years ago.”
“You’re just a rich, corrupt murderer, I should’ve known you were from the beginning.” 
“Ignorance is bliss though, isn’t it? That’s why I fell in love with you.”
A pang of regret hit you hard when he confessed this. So you really could’ve prevented all of this from happening, if only you just knew.
“What do you want from me?” You mumble softly, gaze down, shredding all sense of hope and dignity left in you.
“Well, now that you’re here,
I gotta repay the favour.”
yOOOO idk what the actual fucking fUCK that shit was... that was messy hhhh what the hell even happened? idk dont ask me hhhhhhh im over here trying to figure out my own stories
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medsvilla-blog · 5 years ago
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monarchofsnails · 6 years ago
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Yeehaw partners I finally pulled my head out of the ground and finished writing the first chapter of what is hopefully going to be a charthur centred series. 
Warmth in a Cold Spirit
Tags:  Slow Build, Fire side talks, Mutual Pining, hunting trips, Snow, lots of snow, possible Snowball fight, Fluff and Angst, Mountain Wilderness, will there be bears? could be, gift giving, subtle flirting, and by subtle I mean blatant, alternate universe - canon divergence
It’s nowhere near yet but this series will eventually obviously breach spoiler territory, so I figure I’ll put that here just in case because I’m paranoid. 
(taking the link off to see if that makes it visible, link to my AO3 on my page) 
Chapter 1
It’s a funny thing, time. Days can feel as if they span years as months can pass in the blink of an eye. Charles is no stranger to this concept, having too much time or not enough, and his time with the van der Linde gang has been a particularly poignant example. He didn’t think, when he’d joined up with them for sheer convenience half a year back, that he’d have stayed this long. Since his father had been killed and he had killed those responsible he’d been on the run, had settled nowhere, valued nothing and let no one close enough for it to hurt when he inevitably lost it. And though he had always been a man with a deeply ingrained sense of morals, allowing himself to get attached had been taken off the cards completely.
That was until he'd accidentally stumbled into the gang and gotten to know Arthur Morgan. After that he found that that former conviction to remaining unattached was going to be severely challenged. He can’t pinpoint when he started caring, started giving a shit about this ragtag band that he’s accidentally fallen into, a family of sorts he supposes. But he thinks he can pinpoint who it started with. Upon first impressions, you could be forgiven for thinking that Arthur Morgan was a gruff, irate son of a bitch with plenty of brute strength but not much going on between his ears. That would be inherently and quite frankly insultingly false, though it was the persona he cultivated for himself and the one that Charles had initially bought into during his first weeks with the troupe. But the thing was, he could never keep it up and as Charles became more integrated with the crew he noticed little things about Arthur that perhaps those who weren’t paying attention past his rough exterior wouldn’t notice.
Not to put too fine a point on it, the man cared. He cared deeply about the people around him about the animals he trained both for himself and for the gang. The first time Charles had watched him break in a new colt he’d been ready to jump in, muscles tense as he expected it to go bad, but the gentleness with which Arthur approached and the inherent understanding he seemed to have of the animal meant he needn't have worried. It was just little things, like the presents he’d bring back for the little boy, Jack. The way he’d ruffle his hair and indulge the kids little whims whenever he had the chance, how he’d settle down with the girls and listen to their most recent plights and triumphs and encourage them to pursue whatever it was they were planning next with only a word of caution to stay safe. Never once had he seen Arthur treat anyone other than an equal unless they damn well deserved it. Charles watched all this, watched this man who adamantly denied that he was in any way good, care more than most anyone else he’d known and found himself beginning to care again too.
Then of course shit had hit the fan, just as Charles was beginning to make sense of the faint stirring of something deep in his chest every time he glanced over to see Arthur laughing with one of the girls or cooing at his horse as he brushed out her mane they had been up-heaved. A colossal fuck up on their latest job, he still wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, saw them all running for their lives from the Pinkerton agency, up into the mountains and quite possibly to their doom. They’d lost a few in the ensuing gunfight, and then more still on the getaway. He hadn’t known Jenny or Davey well, but he mourned them with the rest just the same.
It was truly a testament to what Charles thought of the man that when Arthur had come to him that night after they’d managed to find the little village in the mountains and squirrel away there to ask if he could borrow Tamia, his beloved Boudica still fresh in the ground, that Charles had agreed without any hesitation. That horse had been with him since they were both just barely finding their legs in the world, he would not trust anyone else with her so readily. Though he tried to play it off as nothing something of the significance of the action must have showed on his face as Arthur had given him a soft, reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder, a low grumble of “I’ll take care of ‘er. You’ve my word on it” being his goodbye as he disappeared into the blizzard with Dutch to find Micah. He’d never admit it to anyone but Charles had counted every minute until their return, worry pooling in his gut that was undeniably not just for his horse.
They’d both made it back that time, Arthur greeting Charles with a grin and a wink as he handed over Tamia’s reins, his newly split lip cracking under the strain of the smile. He’d watched as Dutch had explained what’d happened, the frightened young woman by his side whipping about and staring at them all in a way that reminded him of a cornered animal. He’d watched as Arthur had made sure to cover the young lady’s back, make sure she didn’t feel exposed as she made her way over to the other women, had murmured something to her softly that’d caused her to give him a strange, but oddly grateful look before she was whisked away.
He’d wanted to speak to Arthur more, though he wasn’t sure how and as he watched the other man get ushered away by Ms Grimshaw, his gait slow and laborious thanks to both the snow and the exhaustion, turn and give him another little smile and a wave he’d tried not to analyse too deeply the fluttering in his stomach and instead had bowed his head in return before moving away to his own bunk, the cold seeping into his bones and his injured hand throbbing even as sleep beckoned. That first night felt like hell to all of them, but only because they couldn’t have known of the horrors that awaited them.
So it’d gone like that, Charles made himself useful in camp once his hand was mostly healed, tended to the horses and worked on repairs with the other men to make the hell hole they’d wound up in a little more liveable. Working alongside them in a more hands on environment had given him a new perspective on a lot of his fellow gang members, and though he be loath to admit it out loud he supposed the comradery was nice.
He’d pushed down the worry when Arthur and Javier had disappeared into the blizzard to look for John despite the traitorous little voice in the back of his mind telling him that they were going to lose three more of their number to this accursed mountain and kept himself busy instead scrounging up supplies to make arrows, something he knew they were going to need if they had even a hope of surviving up here, as hunting was going to be imperative. And when the others had returned a day later, a heavily injured John in tow, he’d had to choke down the lump in his throat at seeing them all safe, at the knowledge that the night before hadn’t been the last time he’d see Arthur’s smile.
Later on that evening Arthur had come to sit beside him where he’d been settled by the fire working on the middle stages of a bow, the strong and sturdy birch wood carefully carved and glinting pale in the ample but dim light of the room. He’d said nothing, but the gentle brush of their shoulders had spoken plenty of the quiet comradery they always shared as Arthur shifted against him with a weary sigh, offering Charles that smile tinged with the bone deep weariness that came with being stuck in such abysmal weather. He found himself smiling back, even if just a little and the joy that lit in Arthur’s eyes at the simple response nearly took his breath away. Covering for himself he rolled his eyes and went back to concentrating on what he was doing, focusing perhaps more intently than he needed to as his fingers were well practised in their movements, performing a dance as familiar to him as breathing.
He couldn’t help but glance up through his lashes however when there came a rustling from beside him, the tell-tale soft fwsh of paper sliding against paper as Arthur opened his journal, took out some charcoal from the little satchel that often seemed permanently glued to his side and began to draw. Whilst he didn’t want to overstep or encroach on Arthur’s privacy the temptation to peak was strong. Not many people got the chance to look in the journal that Arthur was always so fiercely protective of and the simple fact that he was willing to work on it right beside him was a significant gesture that was not lost on him. Still, he held himself back from nosing and continued to work on the bow. It was meant as a gift though it was admittedly going to be a necessity as well in the coming weeks given their lack of decent food. Stringing it carefully he hummed a tuneless, but pretty little song and found himself only partially surprised when a lower, gravlier hum joined in. Glancing up he met Arthur’s endlessly blue gaze without entirely meaning to, the man it seemed had been looking at him, or rather studying him for some time it seemed.
He arched an eyebrow and watched as Arthur blinked and ducked his head, abashed like a child who’d been caught stealing from the cookie jar and though the light was dim he could’ve sworn that Arthur was blushing. Convincing himself he must be seeing things he offered the other man a slight smile
“You okay, Arthur?” his tone is pitched low, unwilling to disturb the peace around them as he continued to put the finishing touches to the bow, watching his friend curiously.
“M’fine Charles, jus’ thinkin’” Arthur glanced back up at him with a crooked little grin and Charles once again found himself having to swallow down the little flutter of his pulse quickening before he could speak
“Hmm, and what’re you thinkin’ about Mr. Morgan?” he pressed gently, a hint of teasing in his tone that had Arthur chuckling “That we’re in a whole heap o’ trouble if we don’t start figurin’ out our next move. We’re gonna run out of food soon, with so many mouths t’ feed” Charles hummed thoughtfully, biting the inside of his mouth to keep from smiling as he silently decided now was as good a time as any.
“Well, I don’t know about a plan, that’s more Dutch’s thing. But I think I could help out with the food problem” at Arthur’s questioning gaze he lifted the bow that had been resting in his lap and held it out “I was going to do this tomorrow, but since you’re here now. This is for you” he held it out, waiting for Arthur to take it and trying not to smile at the awestruck look on his face.
“You - for me?” he seemed to struggle with the right words but eventually found his voice once more as he tentatively reached out and took the bow in his hands, examining it almost reverently “Charles this- this is really somethin’. You made this for me?” Charles rolled his eyes, nudging Arthur playfully with his shoulder
“Yes, you fool. Who else?” at that Arthur gave a huffing laugh “S’pose I deserved that” he ran his hands over the bow slowly, taking in every swirl and curve in the grain of the wood.
“So, this idea o’ yours?” he trailed off and looked up, a familiar playful light sparking in his eyes
“Hunting trip tomorrow?” Charles felt his own mouth split into a grin “Hunting trip. Figure if we manage to nap a couple of bucks, that should help with our food issue, at least for the time being” he shrugged, then before Arthur could speak “And you can’t go hunting with your rifle, damn things are too noisy, all you’ll end up doing is scaring everything off” there was a pause, and then Arthur chuckled softly
“Wasn’t gonna contest Charles, I trust ya’” he winked and Charles felt his heart stutter a little. He snorted softly, swaying with the motion as Arthur nudged him playfully “C’mon it’ll be fun, jus’ you n’ me out there” Charles rolled his eyes “Idiot” but his tone was laced with an affection that made Arthur smile.
“Alright then, so we leave at first light tomorrow yeah?” at Charles’ nod Arthur gets up, the soft rustle of fabric the only sound in the room for a moment other than the quiet breaths of their already sleeping compatriots
“Come wake me, probably easier than me wakin the lot o’ them fools you’re havin’ t’ bunk with” Charles couldn’t stop a soft bark of laughter at that, true enough he supposed, he didn’t need to deal with a load of irate cowboys so early in the morning
“Alright Arthur, I’ll come for you” he watched as Arthur shifted, slinging the bow carefully over his back then glancing over and opening his mouth to speak “Don’t worry about the arrows, I’ll have some for you in the morning” his presumption proved correct when the other man’s mouth closed with a soft snap and he offered a grin instead then after a second of hesitation he reached out to press a hand to Charles’ shoulder.
For a moment neither of them moved and all Charles could feel was the intense heat radiating from Arthur’s hand, the solid weight it was providing and his own heartbeat. Instinctively he leaned into it just a touch and it prompted Arthur to finally move, giving his shoulder a gentle pat and a final wink “Fair enough, g’night Charles. Sweet dreams” he rumbled, voice gruff with both trying to stay quiet and the obvious tiredness he was still suffering from.
Charles found himself giving a slow nod “Same to you Arthur” he paused, watched Arthur move towards the door and then, on impulse “Try not to oversleep, yeah? I’d hate to have t’ leave without you” the quip has the cowboy looking over his shoulder, mischief dancing in his eyes as he offered a salute
“I’ll try my best Mr. Smith. But I’m sure you’ll find a way to wake me if I do” and with that he stepped out into the bitterly cold night, making sure to close the door to the cabin behind him and leaving Charles to his own thoughts.
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bojastrology-blog · 8 years ago
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Underrated animes I think the signs would love
I love every one of these animes tbh
Aries: Kekkai Sensen - 12 Episodes (2nd season of same length coming out Oct 2017)
Supersonic monkeys, vampires, talking fishmen, and all sorts of different supernatural monsters living alongside humans—this has been part of daily life in Hellsalem's Lot, formerly known as New York City, for some time now. When a gateway between Earth and the Beyond opened three years ago, New Yorkers and creatures from the other dimension alike were trapped in an impenetrable bubble and were forced to live together. Libra is a secret organization composed of eccentrics and superhumans, tasked with keeping order in the city and making sure that chaos doesn't spread to the rest of the world. Pursuing photography as a hobby, Leonardo Watch is living a normal life with his parents and sister. But when he obtains the "All-seeing Eyes of the Gods" at the expense of his sister's eyesight, he goes to Hellsalem's Lot in order to help her by finding answers about the mysterious powers he received. He soon runs into Libra, and when Leo unexpectedly joins their ranks, he gets more than what he bargained for. Kekkai Sensen follows Leo's misadventures in the strangest place on Earth with his equally strange comrades—as the ordinary boy unwittingly sees his life take a turn for the extraordinary.
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Taurus: Mushishi - 46 Episodes (2 seasons)
"Mushi": the most basic forms of life in the world. They exist without any goals or purposes aside from simply "being." They are beyond the shackles of the words "good" and "evil." Mushi can exist in countless forms and are capable of mimicking things from the natural world such as plants, diseases, and even phenomena like rainbows. This is, however, just a vague definition of these entities that inhabit the vibrant world of Mushishi, as to even call them a form of life would be an oversimplification. Detailed information on Mushi is scarce because the majority of humans are unaware of their existence. So what are Mushi and why do they exist? This is the question that a "Mushishi," Ginko, ponders constantly. Mushishi are those who research Mushi in hopes of understanding their place in the world's hierarchy of life. Ginko chases rumors of occurrences that could be tied to Mushi, all for the sake of finding an answer. It could, after all, lead to the meaning of life itself.
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Gemini: Psychic Detective Yakumo - 11 Episodes
Haruka Ozawa's sophomore year is getting seriously scary. One of her friends is possessed, another has committed suicide and Haruka could be the next one to flunk the still-breathing test. Her only way out of this potentially lethal dead end? Yakumo Saito, an enigmatic student born with a mysterious red eye that allows him to see and communicate with the dead. But the deceased don't always desist and some killers are more than ready to kill again to keep dead men from telling any more tales. That doesn't stop Haruka's knack for digging up buried secrets, and there's even more evidence of bodies being exhumed by both Yakumo's police contact and an investigative journalist with a newly made corpse in her closet! Can this pair of anything but normal paranormal detectives solve the ultimate dead case files or will they end up in cold storage themselves? 
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Cancer: Is this a Zombie? - 22 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)
Not every zombie is the monstrous, brain-eating type. One night while walking home from the convenience store, regular high school boy Ayumu Aikawa is killed by a serial killer, and is just as suddenly brought back to life by a necromancer named Eucliwood Hellscythe. One small caveat: he's now a zombie. Things get even weirder for him when he accidentally steals a magical girl's uniform, and thus her powers! Haruna, the ex-magical girl, orders him to fight evil creatures known as Megalo in her place until they can figure out a way to get her powers back to her.
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Leo: Parasyte - 24 Episodes
All of a sudden, they arrived: parasitic aliens that descended upon Earth and quickly infiltrated humanity by burrowing into the brains of vulnerable targets. These insatiable beings acquire full control of their host and are able to morph into a variety of forms in order to feed on unsuspecting prey. Sixteen-year-old high school student Shinichi Izumi falls victim to one of these parasites, but it fails to take over his brain, ending up in his right hand instead. Unable to relocate, the parasite, now named Migi, has no choice but to rely on Shinichi in order to stay alive. Thus, the pair is forced into an uneasy coexistence and must defend themselves from hostile parasites that hope to eradicate this new threat to their species.
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Virgo: Terror in Resonance - 11 Episodes
Painted in red, the word "VON" is all that is left behind after a terrorist attack on a nuclear facility in Japan. The government is shattered by their inability to act, and the police are left frantically searching for ways to crack down the perpetrators. The public are clueless—until, six months later, a strange video makes its way onto the internet. In it, two teenage boys who identify themselves only as "Sphinx" directly challenge the police, threatening to cause destruction and mayhem across Tokyo. Unable to stop the mass panic quickly spreading through the city and desperate for any leads in their investigation, the police struggle to act effectively against these terrorists, with Detective Kenjirou Shibazaki caught in the middle of it all. Zankyou no Terror tells the story of Nine and Twelve, the two boys behind the masked figures of Sphinx. They should not exist, yet they stand strong in a world of deception and secrets while they make the city fall around them, all in the hopes of burying their own tragic truth.
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Libra: No Game No Life - 12 Episodes
No Game No Life is a surreal comedy that follows Sora and Shiro, shut-in NEET siblings and the online gamer duo behind the legendary username "Kuuhaku." They view the real world as just another lousy game; however, a strange e-mail challenging them to a chess match changes everything—the brother and sister are plunged into an otherworldly realm where they meet Tet, the God of Games. The mysterious god welcomes Sora and Shiro to Disboard, a world where all forms of conflict—from petty squabbles to the fate of whole countries—are settled not through war, but by way of high-stake games. This system works thanks to a fundamental rule wherein each party must wager something they deem to be of equal value to the other party's wager. In this strange land where the very idea of humanity is reduced to child’s play, the indifferent genius gamer duo of Sora and Shiro have finally found a real reason to keep playing games: to unite the sixteen races of Disboard, defeat Tet, and become the gods of this new, gaming-is-everything world.
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Scorpio: Rurouni Kenshin - 95 Episodes 
In the final years of the Bakumatsu era lived a legendary assassin known as Hitokiri Battousai. Feared as a merciless killer, he was unmatched throughout the country, but mysteriously disappeared at the peak of the Japanese Revolution. It has been ten peaceful years since then, but the very mention of Battousai still strikes terror into the hearts of war veterans. Unbeknownst to them, Battousai has abandoned his bloodstained lifestyle in an effort to repent for his sins, now living as Kenshin Himura, a wandering swordsman with a cheerful attitude and a strong will. Vowing never to kill again, Kenshin dedicates himself to protecting the weak. One day, he stumbles across Kaoru Kamiya at her kendo dojo, which is being threatened by an impostor claiming to be Battousai. After receiving help from Kenshin, Kaoru allows him to stay at the dojo, and so the former assassin temporarily ceases his travels. Rurouni Kenshin: Meiji Kenkaku Romantan tells the story of Kenshin as he strives to save those in need of saving. However, as enemies from both past and present begin to emerge, will the reformed killer be able to uphold his new ideals?
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+ 3 of the most badass live action movie adaptations
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Sagittarius: Nurarihyon no Mago - 48 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)
Rikuo Nura doesn't want anything to do with evil youkai, and just wants a normal life. Too bad he's a quarter youkai, and Nurarihyon, his grandfather, is insistent that he takes over as head of the Nura Clan. He's able to keep his supernatural secret life hidden from his classmates, as he can only transform into a youkai at night, for six hours at a time. Unfortunately for him, various youkai factions are out to target both his youkai and human friends, and like it or not, he needs to embrace his youkai side. Life is not easy when you're Nurarihyon's grandson
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Capricorn: Hamatora - 24 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)
The ability to create miracles is not just a supernatural phenomenon; it is a gift which manifests in a limited number of human beings. "Minimum," or small miracles, are special powers that only selected people called "Minimum Holders" possess. The detective agency Yokohama Troubleshooting, or Hamatora for short, is composed of the "Minimum Holder PI Duo," Nice and Murasaki. Their office is a lone table at Cafe Nowhere, where the pair and their coworkers await new clients. Suddenly, the jobs that they begin to receive seem to have strange connections to the serial killer whom their friend Art, a police officer, is searching for. The murder victims share a single similarity: they are all Minimum Holders. Nice and Murasaki, as holders themselves, are drawn to the case—but what exactly is the link between Nice and the one who orchestrates it all?
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Aquarius: Trigun - 26 Episodes
Vash the Stampede is the man with a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head. The reason: he's a merciless villain who lays waste to all those that oppose him and flattens entire cities for fun, garnering him the title "The Humanoid Typhoon." He leaves a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes, and anyone can count themselves dead if they so much as make eye contact—or so the rumors say. In actuality, Vash is a huge softie who claims to have never taken a life and avoids violence at all costs. With his crazy doughnut obsession and buffoonish attitude in tow, Vash traverses the wasteland of the planet Gunsmoke, all the while followed by two insurance agents, Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson, who attempt to minimize his impact on the public. But soon, their misadventures evolve into life-or-death situations as a group of legendary assassins are summoned to bring about suffering to the trio. Vash's agonizing past will be unraveled and his morality and principles pushed to the breaking point.
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Pisces: Gangsta. - 12 Episodes
Nicholas Brown and Worick Arcangelo, known in the city of Ergastalum as the "Handymen," are mercenaries for hire who take on jobs no one else can handle. Contracted by powerful mob syndicates and police alike, the Handymen have to be ready and willing for anything. After completing the order of killing a local pimp, the Handymen add Alex Benedetto—a prostitute also designated for elimination—to their ranks to protect her from forces that want her gone from the decrepit hellhole of a city she has come to call home. However, this criminal’s paradise is undergoing a profound period of change that threatens to corrode the delicate balance of power. Ergastalum was once a safe haven for "Twilights," super-human beings born as the result of a special drug but are now being hunted down by a fierce underground organization. This new threat is rising up to challenge everything the city stands for, and the Handymen will not be able to avoid this coming war.
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upcomingtechnologies · 5 years ago
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Facial recognition: the path to better policing or a policed state?
In April 2017, a man was arrested for shoplifting beer from a CVS in New York City. Although the surveillance cameras within the CVS captured the criminal in the act, the images were too blurry to be used for facial recognition purposes. However, realising the perpetrator shared an uncanny resemblance with the actor Woody Harrelson, a detective from the Facial Identification Section decided to run a photo of the celebrity through the facial recognition algorithm, which led to the identification and eventual capture of the thief. This isn’t the first or only time that police officers have used creative and slightly controversial methods to identify criminals using facial recognition technology. However, facial recognition systems were not designed to be used in this way, and incidents such as these have caused questions to be asked about whether governmental agencies should have access to this technology, especially when there are no strict rules about its use.
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Over the summer, it emerged that the ICE and FBI had been using driver's license photos from DMV databases for facial recognition searches: essentially making anyone who had a drivers license unknowingly part of a perpetual police lineup. One report estimates that in the USA some 117 million people’s faces are currently in facial recognition networks that are used by law enforcement agencies. This is obviously a privacy violation of a massive scale: although police have been finding criminals through their biometric data for decades through the use of DNA or fingerprint matching, facial recognition is one of the few biometric techniques that does not require the consent of the subject or a court-ordered warrant. This begs the question: how many of these 117 million people are aware that their faces are being used in this way? On the whole, governments and agencies have been extremely secretive about how they are using this technology, and this lack of transparency has prompted fears about the degree to which this technology is permeating our daily lives today, and where it might end up in the future.  
AN ORWELLIAN DYSTOPIA?
It is not hard to imagine a worst-case scenario in which the use and abuse of facial recognition technology mirrors scenes from George Orwell’s 1984. And in some parts of the world, this is becoming closer to being a reality. China is currently the world leader in the use of facial recognition software. There, the technology is being implemented into the surveillance systems to allow the government to track and monitor citizens in unprecedented ways. One of the most talked-about ways in which this is happening is in the country’s social credit system, which uses information obtained from surveillance cameras to determine citizens’ credit ratings. The information that is considered includes behaviours such as traffic violations, jaywalking or taking reserved seats on public transport; if a citizen’s actions are judged unfavourably it can lead to them losing certain rights: from not being able to purchase plane tickets to preventing people from buying premium health insurance. Although the system is still being planned it is easy to imagine how dangerous its implementation could be- one only has to watch the Blackmirror episode Nosedive to understand the extent to which social rating systems could violate all human rights and void any sense of autonomy.
Other uses of facial recognition in China that show just how deeply this technology has permeated daily life include: restrooms using the technology to limit how much toilet paper is dispensed, schools installing facial recognition cameras to track which students are paying attention, and police officers trialling body cameras and glasses enhanced with this technology that will allows real-time identification of criminals. While this mass surveillance promises the possibility of a safer, faster world, what is worrying is that as this technology develops, so does the potential for its misuse. In China, the omnipresence of the surveillance technology means that citizens cannot do anything the government dislikes, creating an Orwellian state of totalitarianism in which the government can track people in physical space, going about their daily lives. Providing the government with such power is incompatible with a healthy democracy, and reduces life into a panopticon.  
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  ALGORITHMIC GOVERNANCE?
Essentially, the broad use and implementation of this technology to monitor and control a population is a form of algorithmic governance, and justice shouldn't be put in the hands of algorithms. Although China’s use of this technology, and dystopian fictions such as 1984 provide reasons for skepticism regarding what this technology can do, equally frightening is what it can’t do well enough. It has already been demonstrated that the facial recognition software used in the USA has varying degrees of effectiveness based on race and gender. The algorithms are most effective on white men, significantly less accurate for women and people of colour, and completely exclude people of different gender expressions. This makes it more likely for women and non-white people to be unlawfully caught, exasperating the already glaring biases and inequalities in the criminal justice system. False arrests have already been made because of this technology: for example the arrest of 18-year old Ousmane Bah, who was dragged to jail at 4 am under accusations of stealing from several Apple Stores. Although he was released, being forced to respond to these false allegations, which were made because of algorithmic misidentification, is a violation of rights essential for a democratic society. If this technology were to be used in wearable tech by police officers in situations where racial bias already exists, it could confirm presumptions of guilt even when unproven, leading to an overuse of this technology on the exact segments of the population on which it underperforms. Furthermore, even if regulations are put in place that only allow facial recognition algorithms to be used in conjunction with other forms of policing, they can still cause confirmation bias in the deputies minds, making it harder to stay completely objective and investigate other possible suspects.
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It is easy to allow the convenience that this technology offers to blind us from the risk inherent in its use, and we need to realise the extent of what we are giving up in exchange for this convenience. If this use of this technology is to be continued then strict rules and regulations must be put in place to ensure it is used fairly and justly and doesn't set us on a trajectory to becoming an overly-policed state. It is my opinion that facial surveillance, which enables citizens movements and behaviours to be tracked and monitored using facial identification software, should not be allowed. It presents a form of surveillance which is anathema to the health of a democratic society. On the other hand, facial identification, which allows law enforcement to use this technology to try and identify a known criminal, should not be outright banned as policing in the 21st century should involve using 21st-century technologies. However, the use of Facial Identification should only be carried out under strict rules and regulations, and a moratorium should be put in place at least until the gender and racial biases in the algorithms are resolved. On top of this, there should be strict guidelines for when law enforcement can use this technology, limiting it to only the most serious crimes, and a warrant ought to be obtained before police can scan facial databases.
Although this technology can be incredibly useful for protecting the public, it is also an extraordinarily powerful tool and a pervasive form of surveillance for which controls need to be put in place now before we move any closer in the direction of becoming an overly oppressive surveillance state.
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gretchen-whoisleft · 5 years ago
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GENERAL INFORMATION ➤
Full Legal Name: Gretchen Eileen Ollivander Nickname(s): n/a Age: (I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling) 22 Gender & Pronouns: cisgender female; she/her Sexuality:
While she’s out there fighting for equality on the war front, Gretchen is also an equal opportunity employer in her love life. Although her attraction varies from person to person ––and she tends to seek out women when she wants to actually enjoy herself vs. men when there’s something to be gained–– one thing remains constant. Her attention span is short, but she likes to keep people on the leash for a long time after she’s gone; though she doesn’t want every person she goes for, she always wants them to want her, even when she’s already moved on and wandered away.
She likes to be liked, wants to be wanted, and needs to be needed…even though the latter of those is one of her biggest turn-offs when she’s actually faced with it. She’s far from the manic-pixie-dream-girl trope, but it’s often one that she projects to others, hoping they’ll see her as something elusive, mysterious and unforgettable. Whether or not she remembers them a year from now is unimportant.
As far as committed relationships go, Gretchen has only been in one ever–– something that evolved between her and one of her closest friends at school. She’s shut that part of her heart down and not allowed herself to dwell on the effect the collapse of that relationship had on her, but it’s wrecked her far more than she’s realized and will crop up more and more the longer she’s back in England, in familiar surroundings.
Although she craves the same validation she doles out to others, intimacy is something she won’t allow into her life. She’d rather be remembered for being the enigmatic girl who slipped out of bed before her partner was awake, to stay on their mind and be remembered as a privilege not an obligation. She’d rather be known as someone flighty and unattainable than have to face rejection, or the loss of someone she’d really grown attached to.
When it comes to people who do really know the ‘real’ her––like her family, for instance––flaws and all, she often experiences a discomfort wherein she feels that they don’t really know her. She lives in such a state of flux, movement, change, action. She feels as though she’s learning every day. She feels as though she’s an entirely new person every morning when she wakes up, or with every new phase she enters. Order of The Phoenix Gretchen is not the same as Gryffindor Gretchen who is not the same as the girl who once sat on her grandfather’s knee for story time. If they were looking at her like she was the same person now as she was back then (for she really doesn’t know how strongly consistent her inconsistent personality has remained over the years), then they had to be wrong, didn’t they?
Date of Birth: August 6th Horoscope: Leo Hogwarts House: Gryffindor Nationality: British Occupation:
Technically speaking, Gretchen is a full-time member of the Order. However, her actual career path is different on paper, and quite unique, even for the Order roster. Nobody blinked an eye when restless, can’t-commit-to-a-path Gretchen took a position with a Temp Agency. She loved it, and could easily talk about why; meeting new people all the time, different jobs from week to week, the chance to travel and network and dip her toes into fresh waters. One week, she might be a secretary for someone high-up at the Ministry whose usual receptionist was sick; the next, a cater waiter at a fancy, pureblood-thrown cocktail event; the next, tending bar at a respectable hotel. However, the twist comes (like most twists in her live have come) from Albus Dumbledore himself.
The agency is one of the institutions compromised by the Order of the Phoenix and under its thumb. She goes, strictly speaking, where she’s needed, trying to blending into situations that she otherwise wouldn’t have access to and trying to collect information from figures that might have otherwise not trusted her, or remained behind closed doors.
In recent months, Gretchen’s found that she quite likes the convenience – and certain job perks – of working as a secretary for Mr. Antonin Dolohov, and has settled into a more-or-less permanent position with him at the Ministry. However, she still fills in elsewhere as needed and has been doing a hell of a lot of snooping.
Summarized in One Word: en garde !
APPEARANCE ➤
Faceclaim: Natalie Dormer Height: 5′ 6″ without heels Hair Color: Blonde Eye Color: Blue Noticeable Features: The loudest laugh in the room combined with the lowest cut dress is usually enough, but she’s a fan of red lips and outfits even louder than she is. Typical Outfit or General Fashion Sense: Bright, loud, not supposed to be worn off a runway, avant garde, expensive, possibly light-up???
HISTORY ➤
Hometown: London Financial Status: Ridiculously, deeply in debt Spoken Languages: She tries to have a a few necessary words ready to go in as many languages possible, thanks to both her undercover work and her worldwide travels. She has a talent for languages that she hasn’t bothered to commit to a more studious level, but when body language, past experience and context clues are thrown into the mix she’s passably fluent in 10+ Dream Job: She sees herself as a lifelong Order member, which is growing more problematic by the day Bad Habits:
Gretchen is in massive, massive debt. It’s not a fact she goes around spreading, but her lines of credit have been well abused–– and not just because of her extended travel adventures or on-the-low-side paying job. Gretchen loves her instant gratification. In fact, she loves instant gratification almost as much as she loves pink fur coats, of which she has three. She loves to shop. She eats primarily upscale takeout food. She signs up for boutique yoga classes, has a never-ending stock of face masks and creams, and insists on being the one to pay when she goes out with even the most distant of acquaintances. If she feels the urge to go out, she’s going to go out rather than check her budget. And if someone she meets out at the bar insists that she’s got to come cliff-jumping with him and ‘some cool people’ off the coast next Thursday, she’s going to toss some cash at that before consulting her calendar to see if Thursday even works.
There are a few other things, that she sees as devilishly endearing yet drive others up the wall: she’s never on time; has a tendency to double-book herself and have to flake on plans; she’s bad at updating people on her life but finds herself bewildered when they don’t know what’s going on with her; she flirts all the time, whether she realizes it or not.
She sees all of these as fun quirks–– so there’s no chance of them turning around any time soon.
FAMILY BACKGROUND ➤
Mother: Gertrude Ollivander Father: Alan Kapp Sibling(s): Geraldine, Gloria Pet(s): Vince Sinclair Grandparent(s): The famous Garrick Ollivander Cousin(s): n/a
MAGICAL ABILITIES ➤
Wand: Aspen, unicorn tail hair, 12 inches even Patronus (and which memory they’re currently using to cast a patronus if they can, or which one they’d use if they could): Capuchin Monkey! Those who are capable of casting this bubbly and energetic creature may or may not take pleasure in knowing just how much they enjoy their comfort. Give a capuchin an abundance of fresh fruit, others to interact with, and a stimulating environment, and watch its creativity and sense of adventure soar. Beware, the absence of such creature comforts will quickly lead to quarrels, isolation, and an intolerance for others’ good moods. She thinks about a wide variety of things when she casts the spell, depending on her mood and the circumstances, but she has a lot of duel and travel and family memories to draw on. One of Gretchen’s foremost talents is looking back on her memories with the same level of joy she felt at the time...or more, given her propensity to whip out the rose colored glasses.  Boggart: No offense to darling Gloria, but Gretchen has always been terrified of snakes. There’s no rhyme or reason or traumatic event behind it. She just can’t see one without shuddering, and doesn’t know what she’d do if faced with one in real life–– maybe it’s for good reason that she always wears high-heeled shoes tall enough to be weapons. Her footwear is no help when it comes to boggarts, however; the one that would appear if faced with a boggart out in the wild would be a cobra of massively exaggerated proportions, ready to strike and strangle her once she’s incapacitated with fear. OWLS: Ancient Runes, History of Magic, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, Divination NEWTS: Defense Against the Dark Arts (O); Charms (O); Divination (E); Potions (A); Ancient Runes (E); History of Magic (E); Astronomy (E) What Kind of Magic do They Excel at:
Far and away, Gretchen’s best when it comes to a duel.
She was never the type of person content to be ‘a second’ to anyone in anything, so fighting for herself was something she had to grow into quickly. She’s prone to thinking before she speaks and acting on impulse, so it’s little surprise how many scrapes she’s gotten herself into over the years. The last thing she wants is to be seen as someone who can’t put their money where their mouth is; she doesn’t often lose duels badly, but in her school days it wasn’t exactly uncommon to see her traipse back into the common room with a set of scraped knees or a bloody nose. Gretchen is quick on her feet and unafraid of pulling punches once she’s thought of them; the quick brain-to-hand trigger pull isn’t the most practical quality to have, but it’s kept her alive up until now. So she isn’t going to complain.
PSYCHOLOGY ➤
MB Type: The Campaigner Enneagram: ESFP Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good Archetype:
Performer (39%)
Explorer (33%)
Advocate (28%)
Temperament: Sanguine
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ciaclouddearding-blog · 6 years ago
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Gk dating
Talking to teens about sex, intimacy, and consent in the hookup culture The show is filmed a few weeks in advance.  What happens is that the above-paid option increases your chances of being viewed and swiped.  Tinder works on the fundamental principle of likeability than attractiveness.  The fourth series was the first series to air during the week and weekend, but there was no episode on Fridays or Saturdays.  They meet country estate dating.  Gk is full of single men and women like you looking for dates, lovers, friendship, and fun.
Talking to teens about sex, intimacy, and consent in the hookup culture But here is a short cut that may serve you well: Whether you play bluegrass May 25, Music Is the serial number J a real serial number? To the forest's ancient landscape.  What was new and unorthodox is the little story we found at the bottom of the welcome page.  To help Tinder function for you, you have to give it sufficient fuel.  Please upgrade your browser I noted immediately that the speaker surround was toast.  Encourage them to make friends and get to know each other, she says, rather than date.  Take back the accidental swipes and try to balance out your score.  Your options may change though if you use this with discretion.
Drinking, drugs, and … middle school dating? Go through her profile carefully to check if she is into hookups and casual sex or not.  From 2003 to 2009, as Orpinas was collecting the survey data and spotting the tie between early dating and poor study skills, she admits she forbade her daughter now in college from dating till she turned 16.  The fourth series also features same-sex relationships.  Stay current with your images.  Dating agencies in hampshire is a handful of singles, finding love life savings to the quiet.  Now, this again can go both ways for you.
Drinking, drugs, and … middle school dating? As the editor-in-chief of DatingAdvice.  Does Boost give you any real benefit? Moreover, surely you would want to know how to make that algorithm work for you? I chatten kan du enten skrive med de mange andre i offentligt rum eller gå i en privat chat — evt med webcam på.  For all those interested in using this service, Plenty of Geeks is completely free to join.  She likens it to the emotional fallout that often comes from adults dating coworkers.  Plenty of Geeks began in 1999 and has had thousands of members come and go over this period.  For the past month, he comes about once a week we live an hour away and we hang out.  In November 2018, Celebs Go Dating was renewed for a sixth series, which premiered on 24 February 2019.
Dating new forest Work at profile pictures and your bio with a little more care than usual and make the most out of the initial algorithm boost.  This feature cuts short the chase and brings you a level up to messaging and responding.  So when You swipe someone up instead of right, you tell them that you are interested in them.  Whether or not teens have hooked up themselves, you can be sure they know kids who have.  In fact, I got a close-up look at these issues when I edited , the companion book to the award-winning that explores sexual violence on college campuses.
Gk Women, Gk Single Women, Gk Girls, Gk Single Girls In fact, they are not sure if Tinder works at all or if Tinder works for guys at all? Hvis du støder på en interessant profil, der er online, så kan du invitere til en privat mezzenger chat, selvom profilen ikke er logget ind i chatten.  There was a time when hot or cold became measuring standards for appearance than for temperatures.  It was the first series to have aired at the weekends, however there was no episode on Fridays or Saturdays.  This again is a feature to show that people are a swipe or like happy.  Members Membership to Golf Dating Service is extended to the whole world, so you get an equal chance to meet your partner no matter where you live.  Filming began for the second series in late January with the series launching in February 2017, with filming finishing in early March.  Jen had a picture with a tiger as a profile picture.
Seven Reasons Why Men are Opting Out of Relationships and Marriage Check in the catskill mountains in the 12th century with over 330m users on badoo, and caring service.  Or let them be Yet simply banning dating till later may be neither simple nor effective.  Some quick tips to figure out if an account is fake.  Even within a brand, each model may its own set of serial numbers.  These few lines describe in short what you can expect from this website and point out that you can hope to find your significant other here.  One boost each month— You get one free boost each month with Tinder plus and Tinder Gold.
how do you get closer in a relationship? : dating Comparative look in to Tinder Gold and Tinder Plus Unlimited likes or swipes- Both give you unlimited likes or swipes.  If you can dream it, you can do it! Buying boosts in bundles always cost much less, and you can use them at your convenience.  All this conveys success is possible on Tinder.  Occupying a partner can meet hundreds of your dating from 295 with us yba 1 is situated in 1872.  He told me he likes me and I said the same back.  It was later reported that the episode was cancelled as one of the daters featured had been abusive in a previous relationship and accused of a serious crime.
Gk Women, Gk Single Women, Gk Girls, Gk Single Girls Not only the number of swipes matter, the quality of swipes matters too.  Men doubt if all these paid features work at all.  Parents model and convey lessons on reciprocity, respect, and other values in everyday life.  It has a secret algorithm and a complex one at that which grades your profile.  Thirty one years and thousands of amplifiers later, Bob Gallien is still designing some of the most innovative and highly sought after products on the market.
Gallien Tinder does work and works for guys too, but there is a catch.  All this outlandish language must make you think precisely how does Tinder algorithm work? It allows you to swipe the profiles of people miles away from you.  You will have to work to make Tinder work for you.  With all the hue and cry about desirability score and bots and fake accounts and scams, yes that too, associated with Tinder the question is relatable and valid.  Ask them what they think about sexual encounters with no emotional involvement, and how they feel about hooking up versus being in a relationship.
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onemusicworld · 6 years ago
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Top Mistakes People Make When Taking Testosterone Replacement Therapy
Top Mistakes People Make When Taking Testosterone Replacement Therapy
I have heard of so many mistakes being made by people taking testosterone replacement therapy. Some mistakes seriously impacted their quality of life, or resulted in men stopping testosterone prematurely. Here are a few of the biggest errors I've witnessed:
Using "street sources" of testosterone: I have met many men whose doctors do not support their use of testosterone, so they buy it on the black market or from some guy at their gyms. This is illegal. Testosterone is classified as a controlled substance under the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990 and has been assigned to Schedule III. It is regulated by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA). A doctor can legally prescribe it but it is illegal to use without a prescription. Be aware that the buying or the using of testosterone without a proper prescription may have legal consequences. The use of testosterone and its cousin molecules (anabolic steroids) is illegal in the United States for those without a medical diagnosis that justifies their use (e.g. anemia, wasting, hypogonadism). If after reading this book you still decide to get testosterone in the black market, be beware that you could set up by informants who may alert the DEA of your purchase. Also, importing testosterone even if you have a prescription is not legal. In a nut shell: only use testosterone after a physician gives you a prescription and do not import it from other countries. The use of "street" testosterone is also dangerous. No one knows what those products may contain. Some so-called testosterone products may simply contain peanut oil, sesame or grape-seed oil. You also run the risk of exposure to contaminants that could cause infection. Not having a doctor follow-up your blood work is a sure way to get in trouble! If you have low testosterone, there are hundreds of doctors who will prescribe testosterone replacement therapy (refer to the Appendix section for directories). If you are using testosterone to increase muscle mass or to improve athletic performance even though you have normal testosterone levels, be smart and research all you can. And please, read the information in this book about how stopping testosterone can cause health problems (if you are using black market testosterone, chances are that your source will eventually run out). Not exploring what testosterone option is best for you: Since there is an assortment of options for testosterone replacement, it's important that you take the time to really find out what's best for you. Several factors are involved in deciding what would be the best testosterone replacement option for you. Among them are cost, insurance coverage, convenience, preference for daily versus weekly use, lack of time to stick to a strict daily schedule, fears of needles, and physician familiarity of the different products. For instance, some health management organizations (HMOs) programs only pay for testosterone injections since they are the cheapest option. However some men have needle-phobia and dislike weekly or bi-weekly injections that may require them to go see their doctors that frequently (some doctors do not teach their patients to self inject at home). Other men are prescribed daily gels even if their busy lives make it difficult to be perfectly compliant to the daily therapy. Some men without insurance or financial means decide not to seek help since they do not know that there are patient assistance programs set up by manufacturers, or the fact that compounding pharmacies can make cheap gels and creams with a doctor prescription (details on this information is available in the Appedix section). Every testosterone option has advantages and disadvantages that may be more suitable for one person over another, so read the following section on treatment options. Not using the right dose: Men who start testosterone need to have their testosterone blood levels rechecked twoweeks or one month after they start therapy (depending on the testosterone formulation), right before they administer the corresponding dose for that day or week. This is critical since these results are essential to deciding if the dose is right for you. Total testosterone blood levels under 500ng/dL that are not improving your sexual desire and energy should be increased to 500to 1,000ng/dL by increasing the frequency of injection or the dose.Some doctors fail to retest after they get a patient started on testosterone since they assume most men respond to 200 mg bi-weekly injections or 5 grams per day of gels. The reality is that many men require higher doses to reach total testosterone levels above mid range of normal. Those men tend to stop testosterone early because they perceive no benefits at "average"doses. Incorrect frequency of injections is a common mistake and is actually worse than not getting treatment at all. See the next sections for more details on this. Cycling on and off testosterone: Testosterone replacement is a life-long commitment in most cases. Once you start you should assume that you will stay on it unless you have an unmanageable side effect. Some patients think that "giving the body a break" once every few weeks is a good thing. What they do not know is that during the time that you are taking testosterone, your testicles stop producing it. When you stop replacement therapy you are left with no testosterone in your system for weeks while your HPG hormonal axis normalizes. Depression, weight loss, lack of motivation, and loss of sex drive can appear rapidly and with a vengeance. A few men never have their hormonal axis return to normal after stopping testosterone (especially if they were hypogonadal at baseline). Read more details on this in the section entitled "HPGA dysfunction." Stopping testosterone abruptly due to an unrelated signal: Some of us may be taking medications for other conditions along with testosterone. Sometimes new medications can increase cholesterol and triglycerides and/or liver enzymes (I call these "signals"). Some doctors prematurely blame testosterone instead of the new medications that someone might have started. I have seen people suffer because of this poor judgment of their doctors. Weeks later, they learn that stopping testosterone did not improve any of these problems but by then they feel tired, depressed, and asexual. Not knowing how to manage potential side effects: Luckily, this will not happen to you after you finish reading this book. I know men who stopped testosterone due to swelling in their nipple area, acne, moodiness, perceived lack of benefit, hair loss, or a prostatic specific antigen (PSA) increase that was due to a prostatic infection. Knowing how to manage these side effects is essential to long-term success. If you know what side effects may occur and how to deal with them, you are less likely to prematurely stop therapy. You may just need to readjust the dose, change the delivery method, or take a medication to counteract the potential problem. Only the best physicians, who do not overreact to a side effect, know how to do this. Having a life style that is not "testosterone friendly": If you smoke, drink more than two drinks a day, smoke too much pot, are overweight, do not exercise, do not keep your blood sugar or lipids in control, and do not show up to doctor's appointments, you do not have a testosterone-friendly lifestyle. Studies have shown that these factors may influence your sexual function and long-term health. Excessive alcohol can decrease testosterone. Exercise can increase it if done properly or decrease it if overdone. You can read more about this later in this book. Not reading or staying "networked" with other patients: Being in isolation about information makes you a less effective patient. There are online groups of men who discuss testosterone and other issues (see the Resource section). Sharing your experiences and learning from others are keys to being an empowered and proactive patient. It's the only way to maximize the benefits of any therapy you are using. Many of the practical "tricks" that I have learned have been obtained via this method. The collective wisdom of other people with similar issues is more powerful than just relying on everything your doctor tells, or does not tell you. Besides, most doctors treat educated patients a lot better than those who are timid about sharing and asking questions. Not switching doctors when you have to: Changing doctors can be difficult, especially if you are not a networked patient who reads a lot about your condition. Many people do not have options and have to see a certain doctor in a health management orga­nization (HMO) setting. But most of us have the option of searching for educated doctors who are not condescending and who treat you as an equal. Your doctor should be your partner in your health and not just an unquestioned authority. Although they are saving lives and have spent hundreds of hours in school and practice to do so, they are human beings who are exposed to myths and misconceptions similar to ours I have heard the most irrational things from doctors about testosterone replacement that make me question how unfortunate their patients may be. Be sure to do your homework and find a doctor who supports you in your search for optimum health. See the Resource section for directories of physicians who are trained in testosterone replacement management. Poor compliance: Forgetting when to inject or apply gels is a common complaint. Good time management and reminders are key. Find reminders that work for you. I use Google calendar which can be set up to send me text messages to my phone as reminders. Avoid the yo-yo effect that poor compliance causes! Testosterone replacement is a lifetime and life style commitment that should be explored with care.
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optometrist0 · 7 years ago
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austintxpartybusthings · 7 years ago
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