#Alex turner x fem!reader

[justallmyfantasies]

you’re nothing like mine

by the beach.

contains: smut! (unprotected piv) just nice i dont know what else to say bye.

word count: 6.1k (i think i wrote more than i should have but enjoy.)

the waves of the sea splashed against the rock you were sat on. the trim of your dress getting hit by the waves each time it came. it was chilly that’s why you had goosebumps. you hadn’t forgot to bring a jacket, you just felt like you didn’t need it. it was warm and light when you left the house, now it’s cold and the sun was beginning to set.

you’d hear the occasional laughter from behind you, a few kids and their parents running along the road behind you. or the occasional dog bark. you had the urge to go up to each dog and pet them. but you didn’t, obviously.

the sun was beginning to set once you arrived at the beach, the main reason you actually came here. it was a quiet area. you liked that.

a man came over, sat next to you. his face frustrated? stressed? you didn’t want to ask, but you analysed his facial features. noticing the stubble growing on his chin, the brown curls at the back of his head, his nose. oh god, his nose.

he looked at you, his face softening at the sight of you. not many would look at you like that, that wasn’t for any reason. he wiped his forehead, perhaps in a act of nervousness? you didn’t know.

“you come here often?” his voice was different, different to others you’d heard. he had an accent, a thick one. he was twiddling with his thumbs. the nail on one of his thumbs damaged. not anything severe, or that’s what you hoped.

you turned your head from the waves to look at him. his eyes directly on you. it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was almost comforting. you nodded. “most days.” your smile curving.

he chuckled, amused by the brief answer given. "you're a girl of few words." he teased gently, his accent becoming more noticeable. he leaned back slightly, mimicking your position. he let out a long exhale, his head tilting back to face the sky, the setting sun casting a warm glow on his face.

"you always come alone?" he glanced over at you again, his gaze lingering. the ocean wind blew through his hair, gently tousling the brown locks. his question was casual, his tone soft.

you could practically see the cogs turning in his mind as he waited for your response. the silence was comfortable, the crashing of waves providing a steady backdrop. the sun was half submerged now, the sky a mix of fiery orange and soft indigo.

"i like the solitude." you finally answered.

he hummed in understanding, his gaze returning to the seas. he leaned forward a bit, resting his forearms on his knees. you could see the small details of his profile, the faint laugh lines around his eyes and the way his hair curled behind his ear.

"i come here when i need to think." he said, his voice laced with a hint of vulnerability. he picked up a small pebble from the ground and began tossing it from one hand to the other.

you watched him play with the pebble, the movement of his hands mesmerizing. your eyes were drawn to the damaged nail on his thumb again, the raw imperfection fitting him perfectly somehow.

“so, what are you thinking about?” you asked, not pushing the topic.

he smiled at your question, his thumb now rubbing over the surface of the pebble. he took a moment before speaking. "the future." he shrugged, his answer purposely vague. his eyes shifted back towards the beach, his gaze lingering over a group of children playing near the shoreline.

"and what does the future hold for you?" your words echoed against the sound of the waves. you were genuinely curious. his demeanor was intriguing, a mix of mystery and a hint of melancholy.

he looked over at you again, his brown eyes locking onto yours. they were filled with a depth that intrigued you even more.

"a lot, i hope." he chuckled softly, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his lips. he let the pebble go, turning to face you fully. the wind picked up slightly, the loose strands of your hair now dancing around your face. "what about you?"

you couldn’t deny the allure of his presence. there was something about him that drew you in.

"i don't know." you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. your honesty seemed to make him smile, his eyes scanning your face intently.

"somehow that doesn't surprise me." he said quietly, the amusement clear in his tone. "not a fan of making plans, huh?" he teased, pushing the conversation further. the wind blew again, this time stronger. it tousled his hair further, the brown curls falling haphazardly over his forehead.

you felt yourself smiling in response, his banter was both unexpected and refreshing.

"i prefer living in the moment." you replied, a subtle hint in your voice. the sun was almost fully submerged now, the last traces of light painting the sky a dark blue.

"a free spirit." he mused, his gaze never leaving yours. his words sounded as if he had already figured you out. he leaned back slightly, his hands supporting his weight. you noticed how his muscles flexed slightly.

"is that a good thing?" you inquired, tilting your head in slight curiosity. the night had gradually begun to settle in, the sky now a deep shade of navy. the beach was a lot emptier than it was moments ago, yet you felt comforted being alone with him.

"depends on who you're asking." he joked, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. he paused for a moment before continuing, his tone serious. "but for me, it is." the confession made your heart skip a beat. he sounded sincere.

the silence grew between the two of you again. but this time it was different, there was a shift in the air. you couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it felt electric. he was watching you carefully, his gaze intense.

you could feel your heart beating a little faster, a mixture of excitement and nervousness coiling in your stomach.

“i’m alex.” he broke the silence, his voice soft but clear. he extended his hand towards you, the damaged nail on his thumb barely visible in the dark.

"it's nice to meet you." you replied and later on with your name, taking his hand in yours. his grip was firm, yet gently. his skin surprisingly warm against your slightly cold fingers.

"nice to finally have a name for this pretty face." he quipped, his fingers lingering before he let go. the compliment was light-hearted, yet you found yourself blushing slightly.

he glanced down at your hands, the skin at your knuckles white from the cold. "you're freezing." he observed, his brow furrowing.

"i didn't bring a jacket." you admitted, the cold finally seeping into your bones. a shiver ran down your spine, proving your point. alex noticed, his expression turning almost concerned.

he tsked, shaking his head slightly. "you shouldn't have done that." he sounded almost scolding. “do you want my jacket?” he asked, it wasn’t really asking, it was as if he was demanding you to have it. his jacket.

you considered arguing, but the sudden chills made you realize he was right. “i couldn't-" you began, but he was already taking off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders. the leather jacket hitting your shoulders like a blanket, instantly bringing warmth.

the jacket smelled like him, a mix of cologne and something musky, like pine. it was cozy and comforting.

he watched you, ensuring the jacket fit you right. "better?" he asked, his voice gentle.

you nodded, the cold slowly subsiding to a more comfortable temperature. the jacket was a bit large on you, the sleeves nearly covering your fingers.

"much better." you replied, wrapping it tighter around yourself. he hummed in approval, leaning back again, his forearms resting on his knees.

the silence returned, but this time it was more comfortable. the ocean waves provided a steady soundtrack. a few stars had started to appear in the sky, the moon a crescent in the night.

you glanced over at him, his gaze still on you. his eyes were fixated on you, but it didn’t feel creepy or unsettling. it was almost like he was studying you, taking in every feature, every inch of you.

after a while, he had offered to walk you home. you didn’t live very far which is why you tended to go to the beach often. approaching three drains, you shook your head. “don’t step on them.” you said, your feet moving.

“why?” alex asked. one of his eyebrows raised.

you shrugged. “supposedly bad luck.”

he let out a giggle, his laugh quiet. “you believe in bad luck?” he asked, following you as you avoided the drains. he was clearly amused, the corner of his mouth tugging into a small grin.

“sometimes.” a small smile on your own lips. you had reached your building now, the front door in sight.

he stopped as you approached the door, a smirk appearing on his face. "so what would you consider good luck then?" he teased.

you paused, your hand on the door handle. he was now standing next to you, his body a bit closer than before. you glanced at him, his face so close you were able to see the beauty spots on his face.

“having a rockstar walk beside you telling you about his day.” you replied. a short laugh escaping your lips.

he chuckled, the sound warm. he leaned against the brick wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "is that so?" he asked, his eyes still on you. you swore you could hear the smirk in his tone.

you nodded, a small grin playing on your lips. you were surprised at how comfortable you felt, talking to him as if you’d known each other for a while. the street was dead silent, the only noise being your breathing.

“do you want to come in?” you asked, finally opening the door.

he raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in his eyes. he clearly wasn’t expecting that invitation. he looked at you for a moment before answering.

"sure." he replied, his voice casual. he pushed himself off the wall, walking towards you.

you held the door open, gesturing for him to go inside. he walked through, the muscles on his back flexing as he passed by. he didn’t look around, he just waited for you to shut the door.

you could feel your heart beating in your chest as you closed the door, the click of the lock echoing around the hallway.

you turned around, facing alex. he was standing a few feet away from you, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. he looked relaxed, but there was a hint of tension in his shoulders. his eyes were on you, studying you intently.

“this place is cozy.” he commented, breaking the silence. he looked around the hallway, his gaze taking in the surroundings.

you nodded in agreement. the apartment wasn’t a penthouse or anything fancy, but it was home. it had a warm and cozy feel to it.

you gestured towards the living room, encouraging him to follow you. “make yourself comfortable, i’ll grab some snacks.” you said, walking towards the kitchen.

he followed you without a word, his footsteps soft against the hardwood floor. the living room was modest in size, but it had a cozy feel to it. a bookshelf against the wall and a worn out, yet comfortable couch in the middle of the room.

you watched him take a seat on the couch, slouching into the cushions. he looked relaxed, yet his eyes followed your every move as you rummaged through the cupboards in search of snacks.

“what kind of snack do you like?” you called out, your head buried in the cabinets. you could hear him shift slightly on the couch, his voice carrying through the room.

“i’m not picky.” he answered. you couldn’t see him, but you knew he was watching you. you could feel his gaze lingering on you, as if he was trying to figure you out.

you settled on a bag of chips. it wasn’t a fancy snack, but it would do. you walked back towards the living room, the bag of chips crinkling in your hands. alex was lounging on the couch, his eyes on you once again.

you took a seat next your him, the couch dipping slightly under your weight. you opened the bag, offering him some. he took a few, his fingers grazing against yours for a brief moment.

the texture of his calloused skin sent a jolt of electricity through you. the brief touch felt charged and almost exciting. you mentally shook away the feeling, focusing on the chips in the bag.

the room was quiet, the only noise being the crinkle of the chip bag and the occasional car passing by. alex seemed comfortable, his body relaxed against the cushions. he was watching you again, his brown eyes intent on every move you made.

“you seem to have a habit of staring at me.” you teased lightly, a small smirk on your lips. he looked slightly amused by your remark, a corner of his mouth tugging into a smirk.

he leaned slightly towards you, his voice low. “you’re nice to look at.” the comment made you blush, your cheeks heating up at his directness.

you looked away, trying to hide your blushing face. he chuckled, clearly aware of the effect his words had on you. his eyes were still studying you, his gaze intense.

“you get flustered easily, don’t you?” he teased, his voice laced with a hint of amusement.

you glanced at him, your flustered expression giving you away. he was right, you did get flustered easily. especially when it came to handsome guys giving you compliments.

“is that a bad thing?” you asked, trying to maintain some level of composure. he shook his head, his smirk growing wider. he was enjoying this.

“not at all.” he replied, shifting closer to you on the couch. he was now sitting just a few inches away, his leg bumping against yours. his scent, the mix of cologne and musk, was stronger from this distance.

you could feeling your heart beating faster, his closeness and the scent of his cologne making your head spin. he was so close, you could almost feel his body heat radiating off of him.

he leaned back, his arm now resting on the back of the couch behind you. his fingers were playing with the edge of your hair, the action almost absentmindedly.

the feeling of his fingers on your hair sent a shiver down your spine, the tingling sensation traveling through your body. he was so close, yet not close enough.

you could feel his gaze on you, his eyes studying every expression, every movement you made. his fingers continued to toy with the end of your hair, the feel of his calloused skin against your neck sending a jolt of electricity through you.

“you’re interesting, you know that?” he mused, his voice low and quiet. his fingers were still toying with the end of your hair, sending tingles through your body.

you turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his. he was looking at you intently, a soft smile on his lips. his eyes were flickering over your face, as if he was trying to memorize every feature.

“how so?” you asked, your voice betraying a hint of nervousness. his compliments were making you flustered again, the feeling of his fingers in your hair not helping.

he hummed, his fingers now tracing your jaw line. the sensation sent a shiver through your body, his touch so light, yet so electric.

“you’re like a paradox.” he stated, his fingers now resting on your cheek. their touch was warm, the callouses on his fingers rough against your skin.

“you’re calm, yet restless. quiet, yet full of personality.” his thumb was now tracing the edge of your jawline, slowly moving towards your lips.

“and you’re observant.” you quipped, the heat in your cheeks intensifying. his touch was sending shivers through your body, the rough skin of his thumb against your lips making it hard to concentrate.

he chuckled, the sound low and almost sexy. his thumb now tracing the contour of your bottom lip. the touch was so light, yet it sent tingles down your spine. he leaned closer, his face now just inches away from yours. his breath was warm against your face, the proximity making your head spin.

his intense gaze never left your face, his eyes intently studying you. his thumb was still tracing your lip, the action almost reverent.

the air was charged, the tension between you palpable. your faces were so close, you could feel the heat radiating off of him.

his lips curved into a smile, a small, almost private smile. he shifted slightly, moving even closer. his hand moved from your chin to the nape of your neck, his warm touch sending another shiver down your spine.

he gently pulled you closer, your face now mere centimeters away from his. his lips hovered just above yours, before he decided to kiss you. the kiss soft and slow.

his kiss was gentle at first, his lips moving against yours slowly. but before long, it became deeper, more passionate. his tongue slowly making its way into your mouth, tasting and exploring.

his hand moved from your neck, to your waist, gently pulling you onto his lap. you could feel the heat rising in your body, the feeling of his lips against yours, his tongue exploring your mouth, making your head spin.

he deepened the kiss, his arms holding you close against him, your body now pressed against his.

he broke the kiss after a moment, his forehead resting against yours. his breathing slightly ragged, his eyes still closed. the moment felt almost intimate, both of you silently enjoying the closeness.

his hand was still on the small of your back, his thumb gently caressing the skin through your clothes. his eyes opened, the intensity of his gaze still present.

“do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he muttered. the compliment was genuine, his tone honest.

you shook your head, your cheeks burning slightly. compliments were not something you were used to. at least not from a guy that looked like him.

he chuckled, his laugh soft and warm. “you really have no idea, do you?” he said, his fingers tracing the side of your neck.

his fingers were sending electric jolts through your body, the sensations almost overwhelming. his touch was tender, his rough skin a contrast to your softer one. he pulled you closer against him, his lips finding your jawline, trailing small kisses down your neck.

his lips left a trail of fire on your skin, the feeling of his mouth on your neck making you shiver. his hand moved from your back to your hips, holding you against him. his lips were now on your collarbone, biting and kissing the sensitive skin.

the feeling of his lips and teeth on your skin was driving you insane. you couldn’t think straight, your mind a mix of sensation and desire.

he nipped the sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder, drawing a soft gasp from your lips. he chuckled, the sound warm against your skin.

“i love that sound.” he muttered, his voice almost a purr. his lips were back on your neck, his teeth gently biting the skin.

you could feel his hands, now on your thighs, gripping you tightly. the dress you were wearing pushed up to your thighs. his body was warm against yours, the heat almost scalding.

he continued his assault on your neck, his lips and teeth leaving love-bites on your skin. every touch was making it hard to think, the sensations driving you crazy. his hands moved higher, one of them disappearing under the hem of your dress, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

his touch was like fire on your skin, the feeling of his hand on your inner thigh making you shiver. his lips had moved to your ear, his breath warm on your skin.

he was whispering praises, his voice low and raspy. he was calling you beautiful, sexy, perfect. the compliments sent a thrill through your body, the words making you feel a mix of shyness and desire.

his hand was slowly moving higher, his fingers now tracing the soft skin of your inner thigh. the proximity was making it hard for you to breathe, the heat of his body pressed against yours, his lips at your ear, whispering words that both thrilled and flustered you. his hips were now pressed against yours, the hardness of his body undeniable.

he bit your earlobe, a soft gasp escaping your lips. his hips moved, his body pressing even more against yours. you could feel the growing hardness against your thigh.

he was murmuring praises in your ear, his free hand now moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. his body was so close, you could feel the heat of his skin through your clothes.

his hips grinded against your own, the action making the heat pooling in your stomach grow. his teeth were back on your neck, his lips sucking and biting the sensitive skin.

his breath was hot on your neck, his breathing growing ragged. one of his hands was on your thigh, squeezing the soft flesh, the other tangled in your hair.

his lips were back on yours, the kiss hungry and passionate. his tongue was in your mouth, exploring and tasting. the kiss was messy, the mixture of desire and desperation making it sloppy. his hands were now wandering over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire wherever it moved.

his hands were under your dress now, caressing the skin of your thighs, your hips, your stomach. you were panting, the sensations almost too much to bear.

he broke the kiss, his forehead resting against yours once again. his breathing was ragged, the desire mirrored in his eyes. he motioned towards your dress, a question whether he could take it off or not.

you nodded, breathless and more than a little flustered. he smirked, a corner of his lips tugging into a small smile.

he carefully pulled the dress over your head, leaving you in just your underwear. his eyes roamed over your body, taking in the view. his gaze was hungry, his eyes dark with desire.

his hands were on your body again, caressing your skin. he was touching you as if you were the most delicate piece of art. his touch was light, his caresses almost reverent.

he ran his fingers over your stomach, your sides. his eyes were roaming over every inch of your body, taking it all in. when his fingers caressed the edge of your bra, he looked up at you again, silently asking for permission.

you nodded, your breathing a bit shaky from the intensity of his gaze. he smiled slightly, his fingers now gently undoing the clasp of your bra. he took his time, his movements slow and deliberate, almost as if he was savoring every second.

once the bra was off, he took a moment to look at you again. his eyes were filled with lust, yet there was a hint of something else. awe, perhaps?

his hands were back on you, one hand on your hip, the other on your chest. his touch was now more urgent, his desire more evident. he carefully pushed you down on the couch, hovering over you. his body was so close, the press of his hips against yours making the heat in your core grow.

his lips were on your neck again, leaving a trail of kisses and bites down to your collarbone. his hand was now on your thigh, pulling your leg to wrap around his waist.

he was muttering praises between kisses, his voice a low, sensual rumble. every touch was electric, every kiss like a spark to a fire.

he was biting your shoulder now, his teeth gently pulling at the skin. one of his legs had moved between your own, the friction making you gasp.

he was pressing himself against you, his hardness rubbing against your core. you could feel the heat, the need, the desire. his body was so close, yet it wasn’t close enough.

“tease.” you commented. your hands trailing down to his belt, undoing it slowly.

he raised his head from your shoulder, a smirk appearing on his lips. he bit your neck before replying. “you’re one to talk.”

his hips were now pressed against yours, the heat of his body making you feel like you were burning. he was watching you, his eyes on your hands, undoing his belt.

you had his belt off, his jeans now hanging loosely on his hips. the desire in his expression was clear, his eyes following your every move.

he leaned back, watching as you unbuttoned his jeans. his breathing had grown ragged, his patience slowly running out.

“i want those off.” you breathed, pointing at his jeans.

he grinned, a devilish smile appearing on his lips. “yes, lady.” he teased, but still did as you asked, pulling his jeans and boxers off.

he was back over you, his body pressed against yours in only a moment. the feeling of skin against skin was almost overwhelming, and you could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body.

his lips were back on your neck, his teeth and tongue leaving a trail of kisses down to your collarbone. his hands were caressing your sides, your hips, pulling your body close against his.

he shifted a bit, positioning himself between your legs. the feeling of his body against your core was intoxicating, the heat making everything feel more intense. his breath was hot against your ear, his voice a low, sultry murmur. “you’re driving me insane.”

he pulled your panties to the side, the tip of him touching you slightly. you gasped aloud, the feeling of him against you almost making you shiver. you could feel the heat pooling in your core, the need growing with every passing moment.

“please,” you gasped, your voice a needy whisper. you were desperate, the feeling of his hardness making you crave more, more, more.

he chuckled, the sound low and seductive. “please what?” he teased, his lips hovering just above your ear.

you were almost desperate now, the need overwhelming. you whimpered, your hands moving to his shoulders, gripping him tightly. “you know what.” you managed to say, your voice a ragged whisper.

he chuckled again, enjoying seeing you so flustered and needy. “okay ma’am.” he replied, his voice a low, seductive rumble.

he leaned back, his body still hovering over you. his eyes were locked on yours, his gaze intense. you could see the restraint in his expression, the need to be gentle and careful with you.

he shifted again, positioning himself at your entrance. the heat was almost unbearable, the anticipation making every second feel like an eternity.

“you sure?” he muttered, his voice a low, rough whisper.

you nodded, your words caught in your throat. the need for him was overwhelming, your body almost trembling with anticipation. “yes, god, yes.” you finally managed to say, your voice a desperate, pleading whisper.

he smiled slightly, his eyes still locked on yours. “okay.” he muttered, his voice low and seductive. his hand was on your hip, gripping tightly.

he pushed himself in slowly, his eyes watching your every reaction. every gasp, every intake of breath, every small whimper and moan. he was going slow, carefully, every inch making you feel fuller, more every second was agony, the need for more almost overwhelming.

you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. your legs wrapped around his hips, your body begging for more.

he leaned down, his lips by your ear, his breath hot on your skin. “god, you feel good.” he breathed, his voice a rough whisper.

he started moving, his hips moving in a slow, deliberate rhythm. it was torture, the pace leaving you craving for more. you gripped his shoulders tighter, your fingers digging into his skin.

his lips were on your neck, his teeth biting and licking the sensitive skin. his hands were on your hips, holding you in place, his touch firm yet gentle at the same time.

“so good.” you managed to gasp out, the pleasure almost too much to bear.

he grunted in response, his pace picking up slightly. his movements were fluid, his hips rocking against you in a steady, rhythmic motion. it was maddening, the combination of pleasure and need making everything seem sharper, more intense.

he was muttering praises in your ear, his voice a low, rough rumble. “you feel amazing.” he breathed, his teeth nipping your earlobe.

you felt the pressure growing in your core, the pleasure building with every move. you were gripping him, nails digging into his skin, your breath coming in gasps and moans.

he was holding you against him, his body almost enveloping you. his lips were on your neck, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses down to your collarbone. his hands were roaming over your back, your sides, his touch leaving a trail of fire on your skin.

his hips were moving faster now, his pace increasing. it was almost overwhelming, the pleasure almost too much to bear. you were whispering his name, your voice a ragged gasp.

he was panting against your neck, his breath hot on your skin. “look at me.” he muttered, his voice rough and demanding.

you lifted your head, your eyes meeting his gaze. there was a hunger in his eyes, a raw need that mirrored your own. his movements were more urgent now, his body pressing against yours.

he was staring at you, his gaze intense. he was watching your every reaction, every expression and sound. he was devouring you, everything about you, his eyes roaming over your face, taking everything in. his movements were harder now, more forceful. his name escaped your lips, a strangled moan.

he grunted, the sound low and guttural. his head dropped to your shoulder, his face buried in the crook of your neck. he was breathing heavily, his body moving against yours with a newfound urgency.

he was almost gasping for air, his body moving with a desperation now. he was muttering praises, his voice thick and husky. “you’re so good, so perfect, so beautiful.” he was saying, his words breathless and broken.

the pressure in your core was almost unbearable now, the pleasure building with every move. you were gripping him tighter, your nails digging into his skin.

he was moving faster now, his body trembling against yours. his mouth was on your neck, his teeth biting the sensitive skin. his hands were on your hips, holding you in place, his fingers digging into your flesh.

you were almost there, the pleasure building to almost unbearable levels. you were gripping him, your breath coming in ragged gasps, your nails digging into his skin.

“fuck.. i’m close,” you managed to gasp out, your voice a desperate, pleading whisper. “please, don’t stop.”

he was almost at the edge, his body trembling against you. he grunted in response, his movements more urgent, more forceful. his mouth was on your neck, still biting and sucking at the skin. his hands were on your hips, his grip tightening, his fingers digging into your flesh.

“hold on.” he muttered, his voice thick and guttural. “hold on just a bit longer for me.”

you were on the edge now, the pleasure building to almost unbearable levels. you were biting your lip, trying to hold back, trying to hold on for just a moment longer.

he was moving faster now, his body pressed against yours, his hips rocking against you with a frantic energy. his mouth was on your ear, his breath hot and ragged.

“you're doing so good,” he muttered, his voice a ragged whisper. “hold on... just a bit more."

he was on the verge, his body trembling against you, his breathing ragged. he let out a strangled moan, his eyes shut tight, his mouth on your neck. “god, you feel so good. i... i can’t hold on much longer.” he panted, his voice low and rough.

his movements now slowed down, you both reaching your orgasms. you were both panting, your bodies shuddering slightly. he collapsed on top of you, his face burying in the crook of your neck. you were both trying to catch your breath, your chests heaving. the room was suddenly quiet except for the sound of your ragged breathing.

he leaned back after a moment, his expression soft and tender. he gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers touching your skin with a gentle touch. he smiled slightly, his eyes warm and fond. “you okay?” he asked, his voice a low, gentle rumble.

you smiled back, feeling a wave of affection wash over you. you reached up to cup his face, your touch gentle. “yeah, i’m okay. more than okay.” you said, your voice a weary, contented murmur.

he leaned down, his lips brushing against your forehead in a gentle kiss. “good.” he mumbled, his voice a low, satisfied rumble. he shifted off you, lying down beside you. he pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you, holding you close against his chest.

you snuggled into him, feeling safe and warm in his embrace. you rested your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. you felt content and at peace, your body and mind still buzzing slightly from the aftermath of your orgasm.

he was idly running his fingers through your hair, his touch gentle and soothing. the room was quiet except for the sound of your breathing and the occasional soft rustle of fabric. after a comfortable silence.

he spoke up, his voice soft and low. “you know something?” he asked, his fingers still playing with your hair.

you tilted your head up to look at him, a small smile on your face. “what?” you asked, your voice equally soft and sleepy.

he smiled down at you, his eyes warm and fond. “i don’t think i've ever met someone like you before.” he said, his voice gentle.

you felt your heart flutter a bit at his words. “yeah?” you asked, your voice a little shy and bashful.

he nodded, his smile growing. he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle. “yeah. it’s weird, i’ve only ever seen you today and i’m astonished by you. is that too cheesy?” he asked.

you chuckled a bit, feeling a warm, cozy feeling spread through your chest. “yeah, a little cheesy.” you teased, poking his side playfully.

he chuckled too, grabbing your hand and trapping it against his chest to stop you from poking him anymore. “hey, i’m trying to be sweet here.” he protested, his voice feigning indignance.

you giggled a bit, unable to keep a straight face. “okay, okay. i’m sorry, sweet talker.” you teased, your voice dripping with mock-sincerity.

he rolled his eyes, his expression amused. “you’re ruining the moment, you know that?” he said, his voice feigning irritation.

you chuckled again, feeling a warm, happy feeling wash over you. “oh, I’m sorry. i didn’t know i was supposed to be swooning over you.” you teased, a small smirk forming on your lips.

“you’re supposed to be swooning, yes.” he said, a small smirk appearing on his own lips. “anyway, what i wanted to say was that.. i uhm.. wanna see you again.”

you felt your heart skip a beat, a small thrill running through your veins. “yeah? you want to see me again?” you asked, your voice soft and hopeful.

he nodded, his smile soft and sincere. “yeah. i know it sounds crazy considering we only just met today, but... i just really wanna see you again. spend more time with you. get to know you better.”

your heart was fluttering in your chest, a warmth spreading through your veins. you felt a little giddy, a little lightheaded. “okay. i’d like that.” you admitted, a small smile appearing on your lips.

his eyes seemed to light up, his smile growing wider. “yeah?” he asked, looking genuinely pleased. “okay. yeah... yeah, that’s great. i... yeah.” he said, his words faltering slightly, looking a little flustered.

you chuckled softly, amused by his shy, flustered reaction. you reached up to pat his head, your touch light and tender. your fingers playing with the curls of his soft hair. you couldn’t deny that you felt something for him and neither could he. but was it too soon?

a/n: wow finally writing woo!!! anyway i like this (kinda), i have a few more ideas for upcoming fics so just wait for that i suppose. i hope it’ll be good.

[junedenim]

what it takes to say goodnight

just him & his girls

warnings: dad!alex, fluff, smut, piv, fingering, mild breeding kink, & so on...

word count: 4.4k

He nearly trips over the cat when he walks in. He mutters curse words to himself before picking Pepper—the cat—up before it runs out the front door. Pepper has always been a calm kitty and she takes well in Alex's arms, though they are full and he struggles through the door before he can finally put everything, including Pepper, down on the floor. She tangles in his legs before running off back into the house.

Alex closes the front door roughly causing one of the magnets that holds a picture of the girls up to fall on the floor loud enough to alert the other residents of the house that he is home.

"Sounds like someone's home," he hears you announce followed by the sudden noise of pattering feet.

He rounds the corner, greeted by two blurs rushing him like linebackers. As always, Willow is quick to talk her mouth going a mile a minute, shouting, "Come look what I made today! Pick me up, daddy, pick me up! Come on!" He can't even keep track of what she is saying most of the time, her mouth going a mile a minute.

Contrasting her twin sister, Wren, his quiet little girl, tugs on his pant leg to get his attention. They've always been this way, even when you were pregnant with them. Willow would kick away and Wren would suck her thumb. Wren speaks when spoken to, preferring to perform motions to express her opinions. Unless it's vegetables, then she cries and yells, "Yuck!"

To combat both girls' interests, he bends down and picks them both up. They are just on the edge of being too heavy for Alex to pick both up at once. But maybe he'll wait until the next birthday to stop doing this. Wren curls into him while Willow hangs off his neck still yapping, "I want mac & cheese for dinner. Mummy said we can so you have to let us. Wen wants it too. Say it, Wen." Willow has always called Wren "Wen." It's adorable and Alex and you can't bear to ever correct it.

Alex turns to Wren, nudging her with a bounce to show her some attention and get her answer. "I want mac & cheese," she says robotically as if Willow trained her to say it.

"Really?" Alex questions. He looks toward you, sitting on the living room rug and watching this exchange. You share a silent laugh with him. You're calm, and he never understands how you managed to hold that through the whole day with the girls. He loves them like nothing else ever but, man, do they tire him out.

"Swear," Willow answers for Wren. "Mummy also said you'd play dolls with us."

You laugh out loud. "I never said that, Will."

Willow thinks otherwise. "Well, maybe you could anyway."

Alex laughs. "We'll see." He feels a strain in his back and decides it's time to put the girls down. Will goes off running back to her toys but Wren hangs on, unable to let go of the comfort. "C'mon Wren. At least let me take my shoes off."

"But you'll come back?" She's completely wide-eyed and worried. Whenever she's in need of reassurance, Alex fears it's his fault. That he went on tour when they were too young and ever since Alex is certain he has caused them abandonment issues. 

He told you this once, late at night, after Wren had cried for him to not leave her alone in her room. He stayed with her until she fell asleep and would have fallen asleep beside her if you hadn't come to collect him. Under the covers, he told you this fear and regret, at first, you laughed, insisting Wren was just clingy. Alex chose to believe you if only to fall asleep that night.  

Sometime after midnight, Wren came into yours and Alex's bedroom, tugging on Alex's hand making sure that he was still there, still breathing, still real. Her little whimpers woke you up. Alex hugged Wren to his chest and you ran a hand down the sensitive girl's back. She kept saying, "You were gone. You left." You tried your best to minimize Alex's worries but he felt this fear to be true and a hidden part of him thinks you blame him too.

Alex kisses Wren's plump baby cheek, placing her tiny feet on the wooden floor. "Always," he assured her. She toddles cautiously back to the toys to join her sister.

But then there's one more girl he has to take care of. "Are you going to make me mac & cheese?" You ask, approaching him, and slinging your arms around his neck. His hand finds its rightful place on the small of your back, the one where you always feel an ache when his hand isn't there.

He pulls you closer to him, pressing her body up against his, your faces so close, your noses just barely not touching. "I'll make you whatever you want." His lips pucker expectantly, waiting for yours to collide with them.

"Anything?" You raise an eyebrow.

He relaxes his lips and quirks a smile. "Yeah, I can make you the unicorn-shaped mac & cheese."

"Wow," you laugh, "you really are my prince charming."

He puckers his lips again. "Hurry up and kiss me, would you?" You give in because he's so cute talking about mac and cheese and there's a flutter in his eyes that you can tell means he had a long day so you won't put up much of a fight, especially when he kisses you just right.

You pull away and ask, "Long day?"

Alex shrugs. "I'm where I want to be now. How was it here?" He runs his hand up and down your right arm.

You sigh as you begin to feel the weight of the day"Good. No fights. Wren didn't nap."

Alex throws his head back. "Don't tell me that." 

That fear ticks away inside him but you grab his hand and squeeze it. "It's not because of you. It allowed me to have Wren & me time considering she's a daddy's girl and Will's constant desire to be the center of attention, but don't tell her I told you that."

He chuckles. "Your secret's safe with me."

"Now come on with the mac & cheese!"

Later, when he's cooking dinner, Wren clings to his leg. Will is singing loudly in the living room and he can hear you clapping along with her. 

"Mac & cheese?" Wren asks him.

"Almost done," Alex promises, picking her up by the straps of her overalls and depositing her onto the counter. "Would you do today? Did you have fun with mummy and Will?"

Wren simply nods with a smile, which is a good sign, no frowns in sight.

But she tugs away at his heart, making grabby hands for him. She's always been clingy, enjoying the feeling of being held, but he can't help but feel that she's spent the whole day missing him, not able to have any fun. 

"Do you maybe want to come to work with me tomorrow, honey?" He knows he should ask you about this and Willow will have to come along or she'll throw a temper tantrum but sometimes he thinks Wren needs a little extra love. She doesn't shout for attention in the manner Willow does. Sometimes she needs to be noticed and needs to feel special.

Then, Wren starts doing that happy gurgle-laugh thing. She swings her legs, tiny socked feet hitting the utensil drawer. She nods quickly, completely excited. "I'll have to talk with mummy about it but you and me will do something special. That sound nice?"

"Yeah!" She squeals and claps her hands. 

Her excitement rubs off on Alex, giving him something to smile about. He nuzzles his nose with hers. He can't get over how precious she is. "Yeah," he repeats, completely content. In moments like this, he doesn't feel like he's completely failed as a parent.

Willow comes walking in, patting her stomach, asking, "Is the mac & cheese ready? I'm 'ungry."

*

Putting the twins to bed can either be the easiest part of the day or the hardest. Wren nearly passes out in the bathtub, running on limited sleep. Willow refuses to stay in bed. When you leave the room, she pops out of bed and starts playing with her toys in the dark. 

Alex goes in to kiss her goodnight after he lays Wren down and finds her bouncing on her bed. She stalls at the sight of Alex, clear that she has been caught out. "Bedtime, missy," he tells her.

She giggles but plops down on her butt. "I'm not tired," she states like there is simply no argument to be made.

Alex sighs and sits on the edge of her tiny bed. "But I'm tired."

"You can go to bed. That's okay, daddy." She touches his arm like she's reassuring him she'll be fine.

Alex huffs a laugh into his hand. He doesn't want Will to get excited that she's making her dad laugh. "I can't go to bed unless you go to bed. It's the rules."

She closes her eyes and flops down on the bed dramatically, pushing the air loudly out of her pillow. "Fine." She seems like she's making an attempt, but then she opens her eyes wide and demands, "Story first."

He knows you probably read her two stories already and he shouldn't give in but you're in the shower and he'll be waiting all alone in bed for you so why shouldn't he kill some time with one of his girls? "One."

She claps her little kiddie hands. "You can pick," she says like she's doing him a favour.

And she kind of is because if he has to read Goldilocks again, he might lose it. "Rumplestiltskin it is." He's always liked it and he knows Will likes the straw turning into gold part. 

He picks up the book of the collected Brothers Grimm fairy tales. Part of him can never deny reading the girls (including you) a story. You all do the same thing: cuddle up beside him, lay your head on his arm, point at the pictures, and say a comment on every sentence if only to make reading time just a bit longer. Will curls his fingers around his forearm and falls asleep halfway through the story but he finishes it anyway. Partly because he knows if Will is pretending to be asleep and he doesn't finish the whole thing she'll insist he has to read her another one. (The other part because he loves the story).

You've just exited the bathroom with wet hair and a towel wrapped around you when Alex enters your bedroom. "Everyone went to sleep alright?" You're going through the drawers, looking for pajamas.

"Yeah. Will had me read her another story but she conked out quick."

You smirk. "Will had you read another story or you wanted to read another story?"

He rolls his eyes at you mocking him before admitting, "Both."

You laugh at him, your sweet boy. The house can feel overrun with girls sometimes, even the cat is a girl, but Alex never seems to mind. He likes all the girlish things the girls like. Tea parties and dress-up, although, he did get noticeably a little more excited when the girls started kicking around a football. But then Alex just said, "Girls are better at football anyway." 

He's better at tea parties than football anyway. He doesn't even try to pretend to lose to the girls when they play 2 v. 1 with him. They are sneaky and tiny and like Pepper does, they wrap around and slide through his legs to kick into his goal. Meanwhile, he thrives at the tea parties, drinking whatever concoction the girls make, even if it tastes like plastic. You always pretend to sip but Alex is the real deal. Always has been.

"Did you miss me while I was gone?" He asks, leaning against the wall, trying to tempt you.

You smile, dropping the towel, leaving you naked in his view for five seconds before you toss a T-shirt over your head. "No, not really."

The T-shirt is red and he's like a bull as he charges toward you, picks you up, and lands both of you on the bed. You're giggling affectionately into the kiss and it's completely loved-up and lovely and you both love that but Alex and you clearly want more. You push him up, off of your lips. "Shut the door."

Sex with the kids can be challenging. Before you did it every time, every surface you could find. Now, you mostly do it at night, rarely in the morning because the girls are always up early. You can't do it every night. Sometimes you can tell the girls didn't fall asleep or you're tired or Alex passed out while you were in the shower. 

Despite the scheduling-sounding nature of things, sex still seems spontaneous. Like a random gust of wind felt upon the skin. Alex always makes things exciting and after doing it more times than you can count, it never bores. The predictability of it is what makes it so charged, so romantic, so sexual, so loving. You can tell by the thrust of his hips whether he's close or not. He can tell by the furrow of your brow whether he's hitting that spot in you or not. It has always felt right.

He's fast in his steps, locking the door, and pretty much launching himself back onto the bed. He covers you, completely all over you, kissing you, feeling you up. He reaches under your shirt, pushing it up to expose your boobs, but not taking it off. He grabs them, a fistful at first, then just the nipple. He kisses down your neck, over the collection of your shirt's fabric, onto the skin of your boobs, and then the areola, licking over the wrinkles of it before meeting the erected nipple.

There are times when you do devote time to foreplay. Alex loves it. You love it. Both ways. You both have always been reciprocal naturally. You never need to ask the other for more. In fact, more often you ask for less. Like...

"This feels really nice," you tell him, "but I'm tired and I know you're tired so just fuck me, okay?"

"Okay," he agrees, breathing heavily already. He stands to take his clothes off. You don't bother shedding the top. He can fondle your boobs just fine with it still on and it provides an emergency cover if one of the girls walks in.

Alex lays back on you intently, kissing you harshly. You reach down to hold his cock, pumping him a few times before his hand takes over and slides into you. The idea of it is quick but the pace is rocking, not fast, not slow, just right. You furrow your brows and arch up into him. He reaches into the space underneath the arch and holds you, completely skin-to-skin. He lays kisses on your neck in no particular pattern like he isn't even trying to turn you on more, he just wants to do it. 

You grip the back of his head's hair, clumps in your compressed grasp. "More," you urge, needing just a little more to tip over.

His mouth moves next to your ear, whispering, "Want me to fuck another baby into you?"

It makes you snort a laugh right in the middle of sex. You have to physically stop his hips from moving as you collect your breath. "What? Another set of twins?"

"Yeah. With my super sperm." He's jokingly bragged about that with you since you found out you were having twins. You corrected him and said it was your eggs that made the twins since they're fraternal. He said, "No, it was a really good load, I remember." It's always made you laugh.

"Twin boys now?" You ask.

He shrugs. "Or more girls? I don't mind."

Everything about him is calm, but there is sincerity in all of it. "Are we seriously talking about more kids while you're inside me?"

Alex makes small movements inside you. "Yeah, come on." He leans closer and closer to you. "We make cute kids. The girls are older. I know you want it."

You place your hands on his shoulders. "Right now I just want you so can we do that part before the 9-month part?"

He nods. "Cart before the horse."

You laugh and tug him down into your shoulder. You whisper into his ear as his hips begin to move harder and harder, "Fuck a baby into me."

Alex chuckles and kisses your jugular. He quickens, both of you feeling an ache for release conjuring inside you. He moves harder and pulls your hips to him. He's doing all the work, but he doesn't mind, he likes doing this for you, likes being good for you. That's all he wants to do.

"That feel good?" He has asked this almost every time you've had sex like, no matter what, even after doing this for years, he wants to make sure it's as good as the last time.

You hum in the affirmative, feeling too overwhelmed to talk clearly. Your grip around his neck tightens as you drag him closer down to you. He keeps thrusting into you hard, skin hitting skin sounding across the room. 

"So fucking tight," he groans into your ear. 

His pace is quick, erratic, and eager. His breath is heavy and filled with soft grunts. His hands are rough, squeezing on your hips. You know he's holding on for you but you want him to enjoy it too. It doesn't always have to be about you. "Let go," you tell him. 

But he's hot for it, not rejecting your request like you thought he would. "You want it?" He asks.

You nod, fluttering eyes.

"Tell me," he says, pounding deep.

You scrap your nails down his back soothingly. "I want it. Deep in me." He hums, requesting more without saying it. "Fill me up with your cum. Please."

Maybe it's your words, maybe it's how close he was, or maybe it's both, but he cums instantly after, deep inside you, filling you up. He groans and pants into your neck. He rests inside you, holding everything in, while he catches his breath. You comb your fingers through his hair, calming him.

He raises his head so he's looking down on you. "You okay?"

You softly smile, exhaustion hovering over you. "Yeah."

"You don't cum," he comments.

You shrug. "I got what I wanted."

Alex grunts. "God, you're gonna make me cum again."

You push him up, making him hiss at the sensitivity. "Don't," you command.

He pulls out slowly and before you can even say anything, he's got his fingers inside you, keeping all that cum in, making a mess on his finger. It takes you off guard, making you moan instantly. He's quick with everything, knowing you want to go to bed, hoping to release the tension and ease you into relaxation.

His two fingers shove in and out of you rapidly. He curls them just in the right spot, making you moan, "Fuck." His thumb grazes over your clit, just like how he knows to do it. It's messy, the whole thing is a mess, but it feels like the hottest thing ever, and soon your hips are unable to stay still and you're coming.

It's your turn to catch your breath and he's licking your shared cum off his hands. He makes a face. "I don't think I've ever tasted my own cum."

You reach out and grab his hand, taking the still-dirty finger into your mouth, and licking it clean. "You've made me taste both before."

He kisses your lips before getting off the bed to grab tissues. "Don't act like it was against your will. I recall you liking it."

You sigh, sitting up and fixing your shirt. "We're gonna have to change the sheets."

Alex hands you a few tissues and says, "I'll do it. You clean yourself up." You'll always accept him doing all the work.

*

It’s three in the morning when a tiny hand shakes Alex awake, and he opens his eyes to find Wren there holding her stuffed teddy bear against her chest, cheeks wet from crying. “I wet the bed.”

“Oh,” Alex says, while his heart rate settles. He looks around to get his bearings and finds you out of it to his right, curled up on your side. He blinks the last vestiges of sleep from his eyes as Wren sniffles miserably, and he pushes up to wipe her jaw dry. “Hey, it’s okay, baby. It just happens sometimes, alright?”

“But I'm not ‘posed to,” she croaks. “I’m supposed to be a big girl now. I’m sorry.”

“No, hey,” Alex kisses her forehead. “It’ll be fine, come on.”

She holds onto his hand and he leads her into the bathroom, running the water to warm and filling the tub with strawberry-scented bubbles. Once she’s in, he lets her play with her rubber ducks for a while to calm down. She splashes them and chews on their tails and presses their drawn-on smiles to his cheek as a kiss. "Muah," she says, and he loves her so much it hurts.

He runs a hand over her damp hair. “I’m gonna go fix your bed, okay? Just keep playing.”

Wren nods, so he leaves her with the door wide open and the light cascading into the hall. Strips her bed of the old sheets and carries them over to the wash. When he comes back, she’s resting her chin against the edge of the tub, waiting for him.

His head tilts, looking down at her big eyes on her little face. “Hey, Peanut.”

“Hi,” she says, timid. “Do you still love me?”

Alex frowns and sits down in front of her on the cold tile. “Why wouldn’t I still love you?”

“M’no good,” she whispers. “M’not small anymore, and I miss you all the time, and—”

“Alright, hey,” Alex cuts in gently, pushing her hair behind her ears to hold her face, all flushed chubby cheeks. He hates himself. Feels like he has made her feel this way. Made her feel unloved and he'll beat himself up for it every day. Never forgive himself for making her doubt his love. "I know I’ve been gone a lot, and I’m really sorry, but I miss you the whole time I’m away. All I wanna do is be here with you, okay? I promise. I love you,” he says, kissing her freckled nose and watching it crinkle up, “so much. I hope you know that.”

She nods, bites her lower lip, and chews. “You love mummy?”

“Yes,” Alex says. “Tons.”

“Is tons a lot?” She asks, and he notices her eyes flit over his shoulder, which gives him a pretty good idea of why she’s asking.

“It is,” he confirms, glancing behind him and finding you in the doorway, hair thrown up, wearing that ratty old red tee. You grin and lean against the door jamb, eyes soft. “The better question is: does mummy love daddy?”

You laugh. “Tons squared,” she promises. “Come on, it’s bedtime, baby.”

“Can I sleep with you?” Wren asks, anxious.

Alex kisses her cheek. “Of course,” he says and leans around her to pull the drain. You come over to help her dry off and Alex goes to grab her fresh pajamas. You both help her dress because she’s all sleepy from the warmth of the bath, and she’d get lost in her shirt if you weren’t around. Alex picks her up and carries her to their bed, laying her down between them so they can both hold her.

"You okay, honey?" You ask Wren, running your fingers through her hair, calming her like you do for him.

She nods, her eyes slowly closing, sleep taking her away from you.

Alex kisses her cheek lightly, not wanting to disturb her sleep. "Love you."

You repeat his action, kissing her baby skin cheek. "Me too." But she's already fallen asleep, exhausted from her little life.

You look across at Alex, his eyes cautiously looking over Wren. "Hey," you whisper to him to grab his attention. His gaze meets yours, his eyes solemn, but affectionate. "Love you."

He smiles because that's just what he needs. That's all he'll ever need. "Me too."

*

A hand pushes on your back somewhere around 4 in the morning. You turn around at the expected sight: Willow holding her stuffed teddy bear, thumb in her mouth, scared little eyes.

"What's wrong, baby?" You ask her, reaching out and smoothing back her messy hair.

"I had a night'are." Her voice wobbles. Alex and Wren are still sound asleep. You reach down to pick her up, laying her on your chest and hugging her to you, wanting to keep her safe from all the evil things awakening her.

"Everything's okay," you reassure.

"What's wrong?" You turn to see Alex, alert and worried rubbing his eyes.

"Nightmare."

Willow turns her head to look at her dad. "Oh," she says, "there's Wen. I was scared she wasn't where she was."

Alex reaches his arm over a sleeping Wren and rubs Willow's back, hushing her rapid heartbeat. "She's been in here. She got scared too but she's okay. She's sleeping now."

Willow keeps her voice low, understanding to keep quiet. "I went lookin' for her but she wasn't in her room."

"Why did you go to her room, honey? Why didn’t you come in here?" You ask.

"'Cause I always go there when I'm scared. Wen goes 'Everyting's okay' and then I know it will be 'cause she said so." She's so sweet, she hides it sometimes, doesn't like to give it away, she's careful with who she gives it to and you're sure nobody loves someone like Willow and Wren love each other. For that, Alex doesn't have to worry. He knows Willow and Wren will always look out for each other.

You kiss Willow's cheek and slide her carefully next to Wren. The bed is just big enough to fit you all but you have to hold steady to not tip off the bed. The girls are comfortable though and that's all that matters.

"We should sleep in here all the time," Willow says.

You and Alex both laugh quietly at your little girl. "Maybe," Alex says.

"Pep should be here too."

So, Alex goes and gets Pepper.

*

a/n: i hope the names are fine. i just tried to pick two twin-sounding names. whatever that means.

[doctor-dusk]

𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐰𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨… 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

what would a musician be without his inspiring muse? 

warnings: soft dom!alex, smut, oral (both receiving), bit of anal playing, spitting, unprotected sex (piv). i think that's all, folks.

word count: 4.1k

i wrote most of this last year on a crowded bus on my way back from college, an old lady gave me a dirty look, but it's worth it. probably the dirtiest smut i've ever written so far because i was bored with my job today. hope you enjoy it :3

you had just gotten out of the shower. the skin of your shoulders and chest was still wet and the scent of grapefruit soap still perfumed the bathroom when you left the room amid a thin curtain of steam from the warm water. alex found it funny that you loved warm showers, even though it was almost forty degrees outside. you were wrapped in a dark gray cotton bathrobe, your hair was wrapped in a towel of the same color and you were drying your face with a white face towel. 

you noticed that alex was in exactly the same position since the last glimpse you had of him before entering the bathroom. he was sitting in a position that was not very comfortable visually speaking, wearing only moss green cargo shorts. his head was resting on his right hand, which held a pencil with a worn tip between his fingers, while his left hand was busy with a half-smoked cigarette, which released a thin curtain of smoke that escaped through the open window in front of him, his guitar resting on his lap, untouchable. 

he had been staring at the page of his notebook for almost twenty minutes. there were a few scribbles on the corners, loose words, but nothing that formed a sentence, much less something that made sense to him.

you tilted your head to see his face, seeing that his eyes were closed now, his hair, which was usually combed back, falling over his forehead, with some of the ends of the strands tickling his lowered eyelids. you gave a weak smile, hanging the face towel on the window and standing behind him, taking advantage of the exposed left side of his neck to give him a little kiss.

‘’what's up, huh?’’ you asked, giving him another little kiss and feeling his skin shiver with the contact of your lips.

‘’it’s all crap.’’ he grumbled, dropping the pencil on the table and straightening his posture, feeling you raise your hands to massage his shoulders. ‘’you know when you really want to write something, you have the idea in your head, but you just…’’ he said, his tone frustrated as he held the guitar. you knew alex well enough to know that he already felt this way before you even asked. you knew his frown, his sullen voice, his strong drag on his cigarette as if he were breathing the air with anger, and maybe he was.

‘’i know.” you answered in an understanding tone, letting your fingers massage the tense and stiff muscles in his shoulders. “but you’ll make it, you always do. you have a mini genius inside you who can think of the most incredible lyrics in the world in the blink of an eye.” you continued encouraging him, lightly tapping his forehead, watching him shake his head subtly.

“well, guess what: this genius is probably on vacation and i didn’t know about it.” turner replied. for a second, you liked to think that alex really did have a miniature of himself in his head, and that at the moment he was just wearing a pair of swim trunks while sunbathing on some paradisiacal beach on the italian coast. “or he must have died, i don’t know.” he finished with another mumble, leaving the guitar leaning against the wall next to it, standing upright and without any risk of falling.

‘’oh, you're so dramatic, turner.’’ you laughed, dragging his last name because of your accent. ‘’you just need some time. maybe relax. you demand too much of yourself.’’

“you know i've always been like this.” he replied, taking one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out by rubbing the butt on the wooden window frame. you've lost count of how many marks there were on the window frame from rubbing the butts of his cigarettes, but you never complained to him.

alex picked up the pencil again, pressing the end of the eraser to his cheek, glancing at the moment you walked around the chair, making a little space to sit on his lap. he felt the scent of the soap a little more intensely on your body, especially when you wrapped both arms around his neck.

alex liked it when you did that without warning, and you liked it even more. you liked the way he wrapped his long arms around you, letting his big hand wander around your waist, following the path further south and leaving it positioned on the warm skin of your left thigh, gently patting it in a caressing manner.

even though he was stuck in his little musical world, he didn't stop giving you the attention you deserved, even if it was just a little. but you knew he wouldn't be able to do anything now, not being so tense.

you had an idea, laying your head on top of his head, since the position you were in favor of the fact that you were sitting a little higher on his lap. you smelled the faint scent of shampoo in his hair, sliding your nose over his scalp, going down a little to kiss his temple, and then his cheek, and then his jaw. you kissed him as far as your mouth could reach, feeling his skin in contact with your lips and feeling the muscle in his cheek contract as he gave a small smile.

‘’what do you think you're doing, huh?’’ he asked, tilting his head a little to the left so he could look at you, but you were more focused on continuing to trail your kisses down his body, each kiss going down proportionally to the point that you had to get off his lap to get between his legs. ‘’you're distracting me, y’know?’’ he pretended to grumble in protest, but you knew him well enough to know that he was far from angry or bored by the fact that you were doing this.

“that's the intention.” you answered with a slightly muffled voice because you were kissing his belly now, letting your fingers slide over the skin of his abdomen in a slowly torturous way to reach the button of his shorts. not even if alex wanted to, he would be able to hide the shiver he felt with this simple act.

“you're crazy.” he laughed, now lightly nibbling the eraser on the tip of the pencil, his eyes not leaving your figure kneeling in front of him for even a second. it was almost majestic for him to see you like that, at an angle he loved, by the way.

“for you? of course.” he heard you retort in the same tone, feeling you unbutton his shorts and lower the zipper with one hand, while the other was resting on his knee. “but you like it.”

“i didn’t say i didn’t like it.” he said, dropping the pencil on the desk at the exact moment your hand reached the hem of his underwear, letting your fingers curl around the elastic to threaten to pull it down.

but you did it so slowly that it actually hurt him. by now, he was already throbbing just at the thought of feeling your hand wrap around him, or feeling your tongue play with the tip, or simply feeling every inch of him burying himself inside you. it awakened unbearable agony in him.

“you're such a twat.” he said through gritted teeth, squeezing the edge of the desk with his fingers. you raised an eyebrow as you feigned offense, threatening to stop. ‘’no, no, love, i didn't mean that, it's just…’’ he said in a frustrated tone with himself, watching you laugh and lower the piece again enough for his cock to practically jump out.

you saw how impossibly hard he was, with some veins marked all over his length, from the base to the beginning of the tip, which by the way was already merely lubricated with precum. it seemed to be calling your name, totally ready to let you wrap your hand around it and swallow it to the last inch, whether with your mouth or with your cunt.

you didn't waste time, you were as eager as he was. your tongue slid deliciously over the tip, tasting him and watching him suck in air forcefully between his teeth. it was as addictive and tasty as the sight you had of him, feeling his hand grab the back of your head, guiding your swollen lips to start swallowing him slowly.

as much as he had that urgency to see you choke on his cock, he could be content with feeling your warm mouth envelop the tip, your delicate hand stayed around the base, pumping slowly and gently and holding it firmly to make him erect as he entered more on your mouth. 

turner was already starting to feel the slight spasms with the vibration of your throat on his cock when you let out a muffled moan. he’s not the kind of guy who is a fan of advance warnings, because when you least expected it, you felt him bucking his hips, making you feel him deep in your throat, which made you cough. he moaned shamelessly when you pulled your head away to get some air, playing with his tip with your tongue, giving it kittenish licks from every possible angle before putting him back in my mouth, swallowing him again without him having to move again.

“oh, so fucking good…” he groaned, letting his head fall back, delighting in the feeling of your warm mouth wrapping around his cock, taking him deeper, feeling your throat closing around the tip. he felt his senses overwhelmed, every fiber of his body contracting as your tongue swirled around his pulsing length.

he looked down at you at some point, your eyes locked on his, he couldn't even try to explain how crazy he went when you looked at him like this, hypnotizing him with your warm mouth and enigmatic eyes, wide like cherry pies.

“such a good girl for me. you're going to make me want to put composition aside to fuck you.” he growled, his fist closing around the towel wrapped on your head.

“you say that like it's a bad thing.’’ you pouted, kissing his tip several times and he chuckled, moving his hand to run his thumb on your cheek, looking tenderly at you.

“baby, you know i love fucking you. really.” he purred, holding his cock and gesturing for you to open your mouth, tapping his shaft on your tongue, the slapping sound adding to the pleasure of both. ‘’love feeling your mouth, your tongue, your pussy clenching around my cock…’’ he continued, his words sending slight jolts of lust through your body. he always knew what to say to make you even wetter.

‘’mhm, so we should fuck, y'know?’’ you said, swirling your tongue around his tip, your eyes pleading for him. you said that like you hadn't already fucked that morning.

‘’we should.’’ he agreed with you, pulling the towel from your head, massaging your scalp, the damp strands of your hair tangled in his fingers. ‘’stand up and turn around.’’ he said in a gentle order, patting your neck lightly.

you giggled, obeying him without a second thought, standing up and turning on your heels, the open window overlooking the deserted street was all you had. could there be people passing by or neighbors who might appear at their apartment windows at any moment? possibly.

but you didn't care much about that as you felt alex untying the knot of your robe while standing behind you, you could feel his hard cock rubbing against your thigh as he made you bend over the desk, your bare tits pressing on top of his notebook. the rough paper pages combined with alex's hands holding the hem of your robe makes your nipples harden, the cotton fabric reached halfway down your back, your lower body exposed to him like a full meal.

“you smell so good.” he hummed, dragging his nose over the skin of your left buttock as if he were snorting coke, your soft skin and your refreshing post-shower scent made him want to melt all over you. he was completely crazy about you.

“it's because i took a shower.” you laughed, feeling his teeth sinking into your skin as if he wanted to take a bite, and he would do that if he could. he could devour you and not waste a thing.

“nah. just your natural scent. and a bit of grapefruit.” he hummed, his large hands gripping your buttcheeks, separating them to reveal your two puckering holes, your cunt already drooling, needing him to take care of it.

his mouth watered at the sight as his cock throbbed in need. he didn't think twice or wait for you to beg for him, his tongue was already darting out to taste you, collecting your slimy juices, feeling that his guts were being blessed by your taste, like a sweet nectar.

you gasped softly, your forehead resting on the rigid wood desk, his tongue molding between your slick folds as the tip of his nose tickled your asshole, making it gap at the slightest touch. the wet muscle made its way upwards, sinking into your needy hole, going as far as he could, holding your buttocks tightly to keep them apart.

you muffled your moans as he fucked you with his tongue, biting your arm to prevent some loud moaning. his tongue moved up just a bit, licking your perineum just to tease your tight hole, circling the spot with the tip of his tongue, making you squirm.

“too bad we're out of lube.” he sighed, more to himself than to you. he knew you still could try it just like this, lubricating you with lots of spit and stretch you with his fingers until you were relaxed enough to accommodate his cock, but he didn't want to risk hurting you and consequently never wanting to try again. 

you chuckled softly, remembering that you're indeed out of lube. alex ended up overdoing it last time because he felt like it was never enough. or maybe he just liked to see how easily he could fuck you from behind, seeing how his cock disappeared inside your hole that was tighter and warmer than your pussy.

“maybe next time?” you suggested, feeling the tip of his tongue threatening to enter, the sensation almost overwhelming you. 

“yeah. i'll remember to buy the whole supply of lube next time i stop by the drugstore.” he said, giving you one last lick, one of his hands went down to stroke his cock lightly, he was hard as a rock at this point, aching to be inside you. his internal struggle with music could wait a bit.

alex's right hand spread your right ass cheek while his left hand guided his cock to your entrance, playing a bit with you, his tip threatening to enter, making a small “pop” when he pulled back. you were about to complain about it, but your unspoken words disappeared when he eased inside you, his thick cock filling every space as if it was molded especially for you.

“oh fuck, yes…” you gasped, your hands closing into fists on the edges of the desk, your knuckles turning white as he bottomed out slowly, pulling back until he saw his tip, slamming back inside your cunt again.

“fucking love this pussy, did i tell you that already?” he groaned, lifting your leg so you could bend more on the desk, allowing him to bury his cock deeper inside your clenching walls. 

“everyday.” you said. you almost smiled at the thought if he wasn't picking up his pace gradually, your mind and body filled by him and only him. his fingers gripping the flesh of your ass cheeks, leaving a red mark upon their wake. 

alex collected a small amount of saliva on his mouth, angling his head to spat directly on your asshole, watching how it slided, coating his cock as he moved in and out of you at a frantic pace, the desk hitting the wall with each violent thrust. 

he couldn't help but brought his thumb there, circling the tight ring teasingly, threatening to go in a little bit more and more, until the tip of his thumb went through, stretching you just a little, but it was enough to make you gasp and clench more around him.

“do you like that, hmm? do you like having your holes filled by me?" he growled when he reached your ear, his thumb sinking deeper into your hole until his knuckle, making you squirm even more, whining in pleasure as you nodded, the idea of letting him take you from behind like this didn't sound so bad even with the lack of lube. “dirty little thing.”

you brought your hand to your clit, your eager fingers trying to build the pleasure faster as your body heated up, like there's an inferno inside you. but no, it was alex. just alex.

alex notices your subtle moves between your legs, his thumb abandoning your gaping hole to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back, holding it tightly with his other free hand.

“no. only i can do this.” he said, his voice sounding demanding and authoritative despite the husky tone. it wasn't like you couldn't touch yourself, but he loved the idea of touching you, of being the only reason you're completely destroyed after he's done with you. he wanted to be everything to you and do everything for you.

your hand was replaced by his, his fingers already coated with your wetness when he rubbed against your folds, feeling the outline of his cock sliding in and out of you, filling you to the brim and even making you stand on the tip of your toes.

“a-alex, i'm gonna cum, please…” you panted, almost passing out, he was taking you so hard, like he was angry or frustrated with you. yeah, he was frustrated, but not with you. never with you.

“yeah, i know, baby.” he whispered, rubbing your clit sloppily because of the position, but still making you go crazy with his movements, hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over again, determined to reduce you to a crying mess as you came on his cock and your body collapses onto the desk. 

in no time, the feeling of orgasm hits you hard, your whole body lost all strength and you felt the knot in your stomach undoing abruptly, your breath completely disappearing for a few seconds, replaced by a moan that was almost a scream.

contrary to what you thought, he didn't stop there. firstly, you didn't even know why you thought he would stop. he never stops after your first orgasm.

he flipped you over, slipping out of you just to fill you up again, not even giving you time to open your eyes to look at him, forcing your sore pussy to accommodate his veiny and angry cock once again.

“too cockdrunk already?” he smirks at your wrecked state, making you rest your calves on his shoulders. you didn't even need to answer him, even because you could barely form coherent words.

he continued at the same intensity while you tried to escape because you were already crying and didn't know if you could handle the overstimulation he was giving you, your legs wobbly like jelly failing on his sides, being supported by his forearms since his hands were gripping your thighs, preventing you from running away or closing your legs.

“come for me again, darlin’. i know you can do it.” alex said to you, his voice sounding like a rough melody as his face came close to yours, placing kisses along your jaw. 

and again, another orgasm consumed you in a much more intense way, your cervix hurt and you felt that you're so aroused and wet that it was already running down your legs as you cried out.

“so pretty.” he praised you, his index finger strolling through your half-open lips, passing through them and entering your mouth, pressing on your tongue. “wider.” he commanded, putting more pressure on your tongue with his finger, forcing you to open your mouth wider.

he took his finger out of your mouth, squeezing your face with his firm hand as he spat inside your mouth, hitting your tongue and the back of your throat. it didn't catch you by surprise, actually. it just turned you on, even if you were already at the height of your sensitivity.

“swallow.” he tapped your cheek, allowing you to swallow it without even thinking, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out just to show him that you did it. “good fucking girl.” he said proudly, his cock twitching at your submissive side, teetering the edge. “fuck, 'm gonna cum, baby. where do you want?”

“inside me.” you answered without thinking twice. it wasn't like you didn't like it when he came on your face or in your mouth or on your tits. but you liked the primal feeling of him spilling all his cum inside you. he chuckled darkly.

“greedy. want my cum all to yourself?” he asked and you nodded, finding the strength to lock your legs around him as he picked up his pace slightly, chasing his own release after making you cum twice. 

“you know that i love it when you fill me up.” you whispered, propping yourself up on your elbows to reach his bottom lip, nibbling it gently as he grabbed you, holding you close as his head sank into the curve of your neck.

“oh fuck, f-fuck…” he choked on his own words as he came inside you, spilling jets his seed deep inside your cunt to the point that it leaked out, staining your legs and your bathrobe. “jesus fucking…” he paused, catching his breath as the last remnants leave his body to fill you. “christ.”

you finally could let your body dismantle on the desk, your head resting on the window sill, your blurry vision trying to get used to the view of the blue sky on that particularly sunny afternoon. 

“you good?” he asked you, still buried deep inside you, giving you sweet kisses along your stomach. 

“always good with you.” you smiled at him when he reached your chest, resting his head on your left boob, listening to the rapid beating of your heart. 

“you just gave me an idea, y'know?” he whispered to you, his warm and ragged breathing tickling your skin. “my beautiful inspiring muse. don't know what would become of me without you.”

“you flatter me.” you chuckled, running your hand through his messy hair, his sweaty scalp moistened the tips of your fingers. 

“just telling the truth.” he chuckled along with you, his pretty and wide eyes looking at you in awe. “i love you.” he whispered again, as if he was sharing a secret that only you needed to know.

you looked back at him, taking the sight of his face so close to yours. you were looking at him with that loving gaze while you felt the blood flow increase in your veins because your heart was beating too fast. but it was impossible not to have that feeling when looking at his slightly contorted mouth as he absentmindedly bit the inside of his cheek, his cheekbones were flushed and his eyes again took on that slightly greenish brown hue when the light reflected off them in that underexposure of colors that matched the ebony of his hair unruly now without the hair gel.

yeah, you loved him too.

“i love you too.” you answered him, seeing the smile forming on his lips, the corners of his eyes getting a bit wrinkly. you loved these little features of him. 

he leaned in to kiss you, his body moved and consequently his soft cock slipped out of you, you both groaning softly at the disconnection. but the kiss made it better. 

“i’ll have to take another shower.” you mumbled between his lips when you felt his cum running out of you, running down your thighs. he chuckled, it wasn't like you're complaining, much less that he had regretted it. “when will you work on your idea?”

he pretended to think, his lips still sealed in yours.

“after the shower.” he blowed some air inside your mouth like he was inflating a balloon. you laughed, rolling your eyes. he always played these stupid pranks on you, but you loved it. 

“will you join me?" you asked with raised eyebrows.

“only if you have me.” 

you didn't have to answer him.

[andbreakmynose]

he won't go away

he's haunting you. am al.

WARNINGS: p-in-v, he's possessive and a bit mean, feelings, references to drugs/drinking, technically cheating but not really

WORD COUNT: 4.2k

Being a young woman in the 21st century had to be torture. You thought the breakup would be the hardest part; moving all your stuff out of the shared apartment was incredibly sad; sometimes you still got sad when you saw his shirts in your closet. But it turns out the hardest part is actually trying to get back out there. The apps of hell.

It was practically impossible to find someone who matched your standards. Alex, your ex, was so perfect in (almost) every way that everyone else paled in comparison. Seriously, how were you supposed to fall back in love when your last boyfriend was a global phenomenon rockstar?

He was almost everywhere you looked, practically inescapable. Every shop you went into was selling his newest record or playing one of their songs. His face was in every magazine at every store. The month you spent traveling in the states didn’t even help; Arctic Monkeys had finally crossed over, and he was big there too.

The worst part of it was that even when you scrolled Tinder to move on, you’d see him. Someone would have them as his favorite band; they’d have a lyric in their bio; they’d be wearing merchandise; or you’d check their Instagram to see concert photos. It was a frustrating cycle of constant reminders that he didn’t want you anymore.

That’s what he said—that he couldn’t stand to be in a relationship with you anymore. That he was moving on to “bigger and better things,” and you weren’t a part of that. You had sensed it was coming; he had started to become cockier; he was drinking and smoking more, and you even thought he might be taking something stronger. You didn’t blame him though; he was on top of the world, and you were just his hometown girlfriend who worked a 9-5.

You didn’t mean to keep up with him, but you read the headlines: ‘Arctic Monkeys Announces Massive UK Tour’, ‘Arctic Monkeys Sells Out Madison Square Garden’, ‘Arctic Monkeys To Headline Reading and Leeds.”

Those were tolerable; you knew he’d be big. The ones that bothered you were the personal ones. ‘Alex Turner Seen Wasted After Big Night Out’, ‘Alex Turner Seen With Another Mystery Blonde’. That was frustrating. You envied him in a sense; he didn’t have to worry about seeing your name anywhere. He was able to move on as quickly as possible and never look back. He had all the money, all the girls, and everything he could ever need at his disposal.

It was obvious you had become bitter; your best friend had remarked that you ‘just hadn’t been yourself’ since the breakup and “needed to get laid soon” or you’d “become a criminal case.” Maybe she was right, and that's what put you on the apps. You wanted to find a nice, normal man, someone who wasn’t performing at the Olympics.

The guys were nice for the most part. You had seen a few cute ones and had a few good conversations. There was even a date once! He was a nice guy from the north side of town who worked at a bank. The dinner you had with him was good, but the chemistry just wasn’t there.

For every match there were at least 50 strikeouts, but you were hopeful about this current guy. His name was Rob. Rob was tall and had pretty blue eyes and worked a well-paying job in finance. He liked nature and Oasis and had two dogs. He was the type of normalcy you craved. He asked you on a date, and of course you said yes; maybe you’d finally move on.

-

The two of you decided on one of your favorite pubs on a Saturday. And when Saturday came along, you pushed your nerves to the side and tried to look as presentable as possible. You felt a bit guilty about wearing a dress that Alex bought you, but you had to wear it at some point. You cover yourself in perfume and slip on your finest lace lingerie, just for the confidence. Today is supposed to be the day you become the new you.

Rob was already there when you arrived; he wore a nice outfit and looks good, but you’re not immediately head over heels. Maybe this would take time; that was fine. He gestured to the open bar stool next to him and the pint waiting for you. You smiled and walked over to him.

“Hey! Thanks for... this.” You pointed your head towards the pint and took a seat next to him.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he smiled at you, giving your body a once-over. “You’re even more beautiful in person.”

His compliment doesn’t fluster you as much as it should, but you still smiled and thanked him, attaching your lips to the glass and taking a drink.

The conversation was easy; he told you about what it’s like to work in finance, and you told him what it’s like in your occupation. He showed you pictures of his three dogs whose names you could not remember, and you showed him pictures from your trip to Italy last year, neglecting to add the piece of information that you went with Alex.

Things seemed to be going really well; your bar stool had ended up closer to his, and his hand brushed across your knee a few times. Maybe the night would end well and you’d get to go home with him; you hadn’t been fucked since Alex and your vibrator weren’t doing the job anymore. In fact, it was going so well that you were about to ask about a second date when his head perked up and his eyes darted to a corner.

“Holy shit! Is that the guy from Arctic Monkeys?”

Your first thought was that somehow he knew that he was fucking with you and wanted to get you upset. But then you noticed the genuine surprise and shock in his face—a lump forming in your throat. Maybe he got his people confused?

The split second glance you turned in Alex’s direction is all you needed to know it was him. He was carrying himself the same way he had been, and you could almost hear the boom of his voice from the other side of the pub. Christ. Your stomach suddenly felt like you could throw up any second.

“I think it is.” Your voice was barely above a mutter, but Rob heard it all, his face perking up even more.

“That’s so cool! I saw them last time they came here!”

You nodded and said you saw them too. You didn’t tell him that you also saw them in London and Paris and New York and Tokyo, and that he dedicated a song to you on your birthday at a show in New Jersey. It felt like years of memories were flooding back, but you just had to repress that.

It seemed that Rob wasn’t that big of a fan because he quickly diverted his attention back to you and started talking about some hike he took a few months ago. You’re sure it was lovely, but your mind couldn’t really focus on anything but the man who hadn’t even noticed your presence. You kept nodding and attached your lips to your drink.

After a bit of one-sided conversation, Rob patted you on the back and excused himself to the restroom. He leaves you alone. Alone with Alex, only half a room away. You ordered a second drink to try and distract yourself, but that’s no help.

You swear you hear your name come from his lips, echoing in your eyes in an almost painful way. It’s just a hallucination; you’re just remembering stuff. That’s what you tell yourself.

“Her? Yeah, she was my bitch ex. Too uptight for me, if you know what I mean.” His voice booms through the room, like he’s purposely saying it as loud as possible because he knows you’ll hear. Fuck.

You couldn’t help it; you had to check. When you turn your head to the side to see him again, his dark eyes are staring right into you, that cocky smirk he adopted in the last months of your relationship present on his face. He caught you.

You didn’t recognize the guys he was with; they were probably figures from his new life. You also didn’t recognize the blonde girl he conveniently had his hand on the ass of. You couldn’t tell rather to be flustered or pissed that his attention was on you and not whoever she was. He still stared directly into your soul; something between anxiety and sorrow filled you up.

Rob returned after a minute, snapping you out of your trance and pulling your attention back onto him. Right, your date. You smiled and tried to focus on his face—his face that was nowhere near as attractive as Alex’s.

“So, what was it you were saying about hiking in Ireland?” It was a copout, but it was safe; he was more than happy to talk about himself. He went on and on about the cows and the grass and his sister Emily.

Every few minutes you’d hear Alex say something else. Something about the ‘pretty lady standing next to him’ or the ‘total fucking bender’ he went on last week. Was he trying to rile you up? Get a reaction? Well yeah, it worked. You could feel your blood start to boil while you drank more and more.

That caught up; after maybe your third drink you had to pee, really bad. You stood up and apologized to Rob before excusing yourself in the ladies room. Your head was starting to spin, and it would be lying to say you weren’t overwhelmed. You did your business and took a second to breathe.

You opened the door to head back to your date that was going very well. Thank you. The door creaked open and then shut just as instantly, your back against the door and your body back in the bathroom. Him.

He wasn’t a big man by any means, but his presence took up the entire room; it made you feel small. Alex was staring down at you, and it was hard to tell if he was really bored or really turned on.

“We need to talk.” Is all that he uttered? His voice was surprisingly monotone for him.

“In the ladies room at a pub?”

He nods.

“I have a date. He’ll get worried.” You crossed your arms, trying to hold your ground even though all you wanted to do was fold.

“Yeah. That’s why we need to talk.” He backed away from the door and leaned against the wall, very obviously checking himself out in the mirror. He ran a hand through his quiff and turned back to you with a scoff. “I don’t like him. He’s a twat.”

You scoff back, “Yeah? Well, last time I checked, you didn’t like me either.” Alex winces at this.

“I never said that,” he corrected you, his face slightly less smug. “I said I wanted to explore. Try new things. Spend the rest of my tour living like a real rockstar.” He pauses for dramatic effect, staring you up and down. “But I’m over that, baby; I want you back. I want to be us again. Please.”

You couldn’t tell if he was drunk or not; he probably was. He was probably drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. But goddamnit, these last months of pain came back, and you couldn’t help but feel for him. You wanted him back too.

“What about your new life? The fucking benders. All your new friends out there... the new girl you were fondling earlier.” You needed to stay strong; you couldn’t cave like that. You made sure that all your mockery and frustration with him for the last months came out in your voice.

He sighed again, his hand returning to his quiff. You couldn’t tell if he was that obsessed with himself that he wanted to perfect it constantly or if it was a nervous habit.

“What about your new life? Chad from finance is telling you about the stock market and his university days.”

“Rob, actually. And he’s very nice. Nicer than you’ve been this past year.” An eye roll.

Alex guffawed at this, nodding his head in a way that reminded you of a movie greaser.

“And yet you still want me more than him, don’t you? You want me again just as bad as I want you.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Maybe it was the alcohol, but yeah, you were getting hot and bothered. The rockstar act was obnoxious, but it was also sexy as hell.

“I can’t just leave. Rob’s a nice guy; I don’t want to destroy him.” Even if you were about to throw yourself at your ex, you still had enough morals to think about Rob.

Alex hummed and thought for a second; he wasn’t going to let you just run away from him. He needed you to come back home.

“Go up to him and say ya got your period or something. You need to go home and take care of it. You’re a smart girl; figure it out.” Condescension laced his voice. He brought his hand up and ran it across your arm just to watch the goosebumps it elicited. “See, you want this. Come home with me.”

You couldn’t fight it anymore and nodded. You were weak for him; he was your weakness. He was perfect, and you couldn’t go without feeling him again.

“I’ll meet you out front,” the smirk reappeared on his face, and he gently guided you out of the bathroom with his hand on your ass. He went right towards the exit and left you to go right towards Rob.

“Hey Rob. I’m sorry it took me forever. I have some lady problems going on, and I need to run home and grab a pad. I’ll text you about a second date, yeah?” You smiled at him but gave him no time to respond before you were out the front door and Alex was wrapping his big hands around your back. You had a long night ahead.

He kept his hand on your shoulder the entire way home; no words fell from his mouth. There was this feeling he was giving you, like he was disappointed beyond words even though he was the one that ended things.

The drive to his place was painstakingly familiar. You had done this very same trip back and forth more times than you could count. One of your first dates had been him taking you here and then kissing you while the band played a Stone Roses song; maybe you had fucked with fate by returning to the same location.

You felt a sharp pain searing through your heart when you saw the brick exterior of his flat. That was your home. Your home for two years that you had been shut out of only within the last 5 months. And you were back.

He made a whistling noise followed by a click, as if you were a dog. You’re embarrassed in the way you immediately folded, hopping out of the car and walking up the familiar stairs to the front door. His keys opened it up, and you took a step inside, the sight of it all flooding your senses.

The flat was redecorated, but it was still yours; there was your old sofa in the corner, the painting you bought with him at the market, and his collection of leather boots sat at the door. The smell was also different; it was no longer you and Alex. It was just Alex. Musky cologne and cigarette smoke replaced what was once the smell of your baking and your combined scents.

Alex watched you take in the sight; a humorless chuckle left his lips. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel the same pain; he missed you more than he wanted to admit. His eyes flicked back over to your body, scanning you in. Fuck, that dress.

“Why are you wearing my dress?” It was basically a bark, an accusation. All pain he felt was met with anger. You were wearing something he bought you to see another man.

“It’s not your dress. It’s mine.” Playing dumb never worked with Alex, so you were unsure why you did it. Maybe it was a defense mechanism that led to your relationship's downfall.

“Don’t be a bitch. I bought that dress with my money for my eyes to see you in it. It’s my dress.” His voice was harsher now; the frustration of months without you and the alcohol clouded his head.

“I thought it made me look pretty. And until an hour ago, you wanted nothing to do with me. I figured game was game.” There’s a truth to your words, but it still elicited a deep scoff from the back of his throat. He took a step towards you.

“Does make you look pretty. You’ve always been the prettiest baby.” You started to take this as him softening in a way; he was complimenting you instead of getting mad again. But then he took another step forward and, in one swift motion, pulled the dress over the top of your head, leaving you exposed in your lace bra and panty set. A deep blush covered your face, and a groan left his mouth.

“Fuck. You’re killing me, baby.” His hands started to travel up and down your body, making your body shiver when he ran by your chest and hips. “You expected him to take you back home? You wanted him to fuck you and make you forget all about me?”

“I tried,” but before you could even begin to explain the complexity of emotions running through your brain, he threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It was simultaneously the most degrading, humiliating, and hot thing you’d ever experienced.

He brought you over to the bed, your old shared bed, and threw you down on it, looking down at you with lust-blown eyes.

“I tried. I really tried. But I just can’t fucking get over you. Been looking for you everywhere, hoping to make you mine again.” The confession made your heart stop, but not for long until his hands started to remove your bra. All the heat and tension of the moment made your panties start to feel wetter, and your nipples perked up. Alex licked his lips.

“You were looking for me?” You tried to manage your cool and not give in too easily. You hadn’t been fucked in so long, but he was supposed to be your ex; he kicked you out, and now he’s begging for you back.

“You were looking for me too. Don’t lie.” He said it like he knew it was a truth, even if you hadn’t admitted it yet. His hands slipped off your underwear and slipped it in his pocket. “You’re not wearing these for someone else again.”

After seeing how you bit your lip to hide a moan, he smirked and ran two long fingers through your folds. Nothing could compare to his touch; you had tried so many different vibrators, and yet you hadn’t felt pleasure like this since the last time he touched you. A small whimper escaped your lips, and thats when he knew he won. You were his again.

He started to circle his fingers around your entrance, brushing against your clit a few times before entering you. The first moan of the night escaped your lips, and he gave a knowing nod and chuckle. His free hand worked to dispose of his leather jacket and then started to work at the buttons of his shirt.

“I’ll fuck you if you say you’re mine again. If you promise to come back to me. Be my baby again. Me and you.” He rasped, voice pooling with desire, dominance, and genuine affection. It was an odd combination, but so was Alex. It all made you miss him more. He bent his fingers inside of you and started to move them faster.

“SHIT! Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be yours again. Please Alex.” You felt pathetic at how easy you gave in, but the sight of the bulge pressing against his jeans was enough to show that you weren’t the only one desperate. And it was nice to know he wanted you back for more than just a fuck.

“Atta girl.” He smirked and then removed his hand from inside of you, bringing it to his lips to taste the distinct and vaguely sour-sweet juices from you. The sight was pornographic, and while you whined at the lack of contact, you moaned at the sight. “Missed your taste,” he added before he used his hands to slip his jeans and boxers off in one solid motion.

And there you were, back to old times. Two naked figures in a shared bedroom. Most of your nights pre-breakup were spent fucking until you both passed out. You were sure tonight would be no different.

He pushed you back on the bed slightly, angling his own body so his throbbing would line up with your leaking cunt. The sight made you salivate; he was big, and the head was turning red in desperation. It was like his cock missed you just as much as the rest of him.

He leaned down to meet your lips in a searing kiss, not even bothering to ask you for permission to slip his tongue in your mouth. He let this dance go on for a bit, the kiss becoming sloppier and teeth starting to collide. He let you get totally preoccupied in the kiss before he shoved himself inside of you with no real warning, his entire length puncturing your hole.

You were definitely tighter than last time you two fucked, the result of the absence of him. He smiled at that; it felt better than it ever had, and it was a confirmation you were really holding yourself back for him.

“Tight baby. Thank you for not sharing my pussy with everyone else.” He chuckled a bit at his own words, as if they were funny, before he decided you had had enough time to adjust to his stretch and began to move.

Just as he did, the moans began to fall from your mouth, the pleasure beginning to build up in ways you forgot were possible. Every movement stretched your tight warmth out more and more, filling you up with such deliciousness that you couldn’t help but cry a stream of ‘Alex!”.

His breath started to become a bit shallower, and he reached out to palm at your tits while he thrust. It was like a teenager seeing them for the first time, but he had missed them so much. His fingers pinched at your nipples, his cock hit every nerve entrance in your vagina, and his mouth returned to yours to envelope you in a passionate fire. Every part of you felt hot, and every part of him felt hot. Just how it was supposed to be.

A pace was set after a minute; he was fast and hard because he needed this and he knew you did too. You knew he wouldn’t last too long out of the sheer intensity and desperation of it all.

As his grunts became louder and his movements faster, you brought your hand down to circle around your clit, the little movements causing a full-body shiver to run down and a stream of obscenities leaving your mouth. He grinned at this but didn’t move your hand; he’d usually help you out, but he was too preoccupied with your perfect tits. Every sense of yours was activated, and on full sensitivity, it was just too hot. Your vibrators couldn’t compare to him, and he realized then that your pussy had ruined every other girl for him. He spent months seeking pleasure, but you’re the only one he wanted.

It was the hottest feeling in the world when you felt his dick begin to twitch inside of you; the addition of this made everything just the hotter. You sped your hand movements up and your back arched slightly, your mouth falling open and your eyes turning white. You two were both close.

It was a sudden snap of the coil inside your stomach that had you cumming, practically exploding in bliss. It was an orgasm to an extreme you hadn’t had in a while, maybe since even before the breakup.

The feeling of you cumming just turned Alex on more, and he was soon to follow after, making one final thrust before he pulled out and covered your stomach in warm lines of milky cum. He stared at it for a second, finding it the most beautiful sight in the world, before collapsing next to you, catching his breath.

The two of you layed like that for a while, chests returning to normal speeds and minds trying to process what just happened. His cum was still on your stomach, but all you could think about was how you had just crossed a line you were never supposed to cross with an ex. As if he could sense this, he lifted his head up and wiped the cum off your stomach with his shirt from the floor. It was laundry day tomorrow anyway.

“That was... incredible. I missed you, baby.” He said, and his voice returned to a softness you only remembered from your most intimate moments.

“I missed you too.” You giggled a bit at his choice of cleaning material but smiled at his words, moving your body a little closer to his when he laid down again.

“Good. I want you to be my girl again.

“I want to be your girl again. We’ll figure this out in the morning, I guess.” You were both too fucked out to make logical, rational decisions.

“Yeah. We’ll get through this. I won’t be a twat again. I promise.” And then he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead, almost like a silent promise that he wouldn’t. At the moment you trusted him, but maybe it was just the sex lingering in your brain. At that moment, what you knew was that the man you had loved for years was back next to you, and Rob from finance was someone you’d never have to worry about again.

A/N: this is shit again but i felt like putting something out. currently in the process of applying to transfer universities so i'm pretty out of time.

[captainwans]

 drunk in love.

   — alex turner

pairing: 2005!alex turner x fem!reader

warning: mentions of drugs use, vulgar language, implied smut. overall, mostly, purely, sweet-teeth rotting fluff. ( friends to lovers trope! )

word count: 1,6k | ( picture not mine! )

note: inspired by my love ( @stardustloserdoll )

masterlist!

"Al, c’mon!” [Y/N] chirped, grabbing his arm, intertwining their hands together as the female dragged them away from the crowd toward the small photo kiosk. She hiccuped, crimson dusted across her cheeks from drinking, along with sloppy steps, which Alex had to hold her waist to keep her in toes.

Alex let out a breathy laugh, eyes barely open as he tightened his grip on her waist. He felt his heart soar out of his chest, feeling her warm hands around his, subconsciously rubbing his skin with her thumb as they halted with their steps.

[Y/N] frowned, lips forming into a downwards pout when she noticed a line toward the photo booth. She let out an audible groan, her head falling backwards dramatically. “Dammit, we have to wait.” she whined, tilting her head to the side as her eyes darted across the heavy line of people waiting on the selfie booth.

Alex sniffled, rubbing his eye with his knuckles before turning his attention on her, his lips curving upwards unknowingly. “It's not that bad. It will be our turn before you know it.” he tried to reassure her, swinging their arms back and forth with a grin.

[Y/N] sighed, feeling goosebumps form her skin. “I'm cold, though.” She brought her hands to her arms, in an attempt to shield herself from the cold as she cursed internally for not bringing a jacket.

Alex opened his mouth for a second, but closed it, contemplating his next actions. He had a war inside his head for a few seconds before he cleared his throat and opened his arms. “C’mere, love. I’ll warm you up.” he said, cringing at his choices of words and cracked a smile to hide his awkwardness. He sighed in relief when she grinned, launching herself into his arms.

Alex laughed, almost knocking him out of balance as he felt her squeeze his waist. She hid her face into his chest, feeling his warmth. He rubbed her arms, trying to warm her up as they comfortably waited in line. He placed his chin on top of her head, fingers gently drawing circles around her skin. “You comfy?” he asked, moving his head to the side to look at her.

[Y/N]’s heart was furiously pounding at the intimacy and she felt her throat go dry, and she nodded instead and added a small hum. She let him guide them as the line got smaller, completely glued to his chest as she felt his rough calloused fingers moving up and down her arms.

After an eternity of waiting, when in reality it was only ten minutes, it was finally the duo’s turn and the female sprinted toward the booth. She heard Alex loudly cackling from behind her making her giggle and went up the small stairs leading her inside the selfie kiosk. She turned her head to him, a wide smile etched into her features and brought her arm out excitedly. "C'mon, Al!” she beamed, eyes sparking and grabbing his arm as they entered the small space.

“Ah, this is tight.” she mumbled under her breath, but the latter heard her nonetheless.

Alex chuckled under his breath. “You don’t say.” he said, ducking to avoid hitting his head on the roof. He shut the blinds and turned around, only to almost face planting as they realized how tight the space was.

She shifted her body just as Alex turned around and faced her, making them pause, flustered smiles being shared as they gazed at each other. “Well, hello there.” [Y/N] cheekily said, her bloodshot eyes wrinkling from smiling as his breath fanned her face.

Alex mirrored her look, cheeks reddening and adding a short laugh before turning his attention on the photo machine, putting a few coins inside the machine before touching one of the buttons. “Alright, what kind of pose should we do first?” he asked, turning to look at her, who was fixing her hair by using the camera lens as the mirror.

She brought a finger to her lips, eyes deep in thought. Her eyes lit up, “Bunny ears?” she suggested, puckering her lips at him making him nod his head.

The camera counted down to three and the pair brought their hand to each other’s head to point bunny ears. She giggled, feeling his hands lightly scratch her scalp before his hands slid down her back comfortably.

“Alright..” she bit her lip, ignoring his warm hands rubbing down her back. She clicked on the screen for the next countdown. Alex put an arm around her shoulders bringing her closer as the pair shared a big toothy grin to the camera.

She grabbed his chin, using both of her hands to pull him closer to her face as they posed for their third picture. Alex laughed through his nose, feeling her crimson cheeks touching his warm ones. The flashing light made him squint his eyes, feeling his eyes sting.

[Y/N] looked at him with a downwards pout, inching closer to the musician. “You alright, Al?” She fondly asked him, bringing both of her hands to remove his hands away from his face. She watched him blinking rapidly as he nodded, eyes slightly open making her eyebrows furrow with concern.

Alex’s breath hitched, goosebumps breaking into his skin at her slightest touch. “Y-Yeah. Just the flashlight….blinding my eyes.” He answered as he opened her eyes, feeling his heart palpitating at their closure.

The female brought her hand to his face, her fingers delicately removing a few hair strands away from his damp forehead to see him properly. She smiled warmly at him, which he shyly returned.

“You’re so cute.” Alex heard her say, causing a dust of pink dance across his cheeks, feeling blood rush through his cheeks. His heart was furiously beating against his chest and he was sure that she could hear how fast it was beating.

The musician looked into her eyes before trailing over to her features. “Nah,” he sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger just below her ear. “Think that applies to you, darling.” He admitted, his hand drifting up to hold the side of her neck as his thumb gently brushed her jaw.

[Y/N] closed her eyes, feeling his fingers interweaving through her hair and she stifled back a sigh of pleasure by biting her lip. She felt him cup her cheek and she opened her eyes.

Hesitant eyes met hers, slowly softening as he opened his mouth. “Can I kiss you?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper, but she heard him.

A tremor of fire engulfed into her body. Her heart was stuttering against her chest and she felt heat flood over her face. She smiled widely, showing her teeth as she repeated his question inside her mind like a mantra. “Yes!” She replied with enthusiasm.

The female covered her mouth with her hand, cursing internally for sounding too desperate. She cleared her throat, giving him a flustered smile. “I—uh, I mean…y-yes, please.” She sheepishly said, failing to hide her radiant smile by the way he was looking at her.

Yes, please. Alex thought she couldn’t look any more endearing and charming than she already is. He mirrored her flustered expression and hummed. His hand was still resting on her cheek and he didn’t hesitate to close the distance between them, pulling her into a searing kiss.

[Y/N] met his kiss with a dreamy sigh, sliding her hands up to wrap around his shoulder and to his neck to bring him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him. His stomach swarmed with butterflies, feeling her hitch her leg around his hip to pull him closer. He trapped her against the cold wall, his hand pulling up her thigh as he deepened the kiss, swiping his tongue into her mouth making her moan.

A loud bang on the kiosk made the pair pull away, both breathless and panting as they looked at the curtain being pulled open. Alex's arms around her waist tightening as they watched an annoyed couple glaring daggers at them. “Can you guys do this somewhere else? This is a photo booth, not a make out booth.” They exclaimed, their expressions morphing into a sour frown.

Alex and [Y/N] shared a look before he voiced his irritation. “Oh, fuck off! It hasn’t even been five minutes.” he flipped him off, making the man scrunch his face with annoyance and shut the blinds rather aggressively.

The musician sighed, turning his head back to her, his irritation ceasing away at the way she was looking at him. “Fucking cock blocker.” he mumbled, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Tell me about it,” she sighed, nudging her nose with his before turning her head toward the camera. She scowled, “And it didn’t even take the picture.” She complained gesturing with her hand, eyebrows furrowed as she touched the button to redo their last picture.

She felt his hands rubbing her back, going lower to touch her hip. His fingers trailed down the hem of her shirt, slipping under the soft material onto her bare skin. She felt a shiver down her spine at his touch. She shifted her body through the small space to look back at him. There was something in the way he was looking at her, which made her mind immerse with the possibility of him rearranging her insides in a photo booth.

“Kiss me again.” she softly pleaded, making Alex nearly groan at the way she was practically begging him. He caught her chin into a kiss, this time turning more hot and intense. Her hand drifted to hold the side of his neck, pulling him closer. The flashing light from the camera made the pair deepen the kiss.

Another bang on the booth made them smile through the kiss, slowly pulling away as they heard complaints from the angry couple. She giggled, pecking his swollen lips. “They’re gonna kick us out.” she murmured against his lips, grinning.

“Let them.”

[g1rlken]

┏ 𝐅𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ┐

1. Part, Alex turner x actress!reader

summary: ugly break up and working together

warnings: smear campaigns, Twitter incels, award season, depression

word count: 4.8k+

-

Relationships become a hurdle of choreographing well being when you’re going through a difficult period in life. The one person that’s supposed to be wholly yours becomes another face to mask with. Empathy feels good for a week, two weeks, a month. As the days would stack up it would just feel like a customised emotion, a weight. That’s how y/n felt, her relationship with Alex had seen a lot of ups and downs over their year and a half together. A lot of fights, long distances, miscommunications but it never weighed them down nor their relationship. They always came back stronger after a set back as such. However such shaky career hurdles were only ever seen by Alex, writer’s block, studio pressure, album press, billboard charts, the critics it was a coin toss on fate and he’d often land on the difficult side. But he had a lot of years in the industry and a well composed mind to these things.

Maybe her issues were difficult, Hollywood is eitherways a harsher ground for women. Especially the acting industry, she was facing method acting allegations by one of her elderly costars of old fashion. Not that method acting was concept of bad light in modern day cinema but the characters of the show were very demanding maybe some bitterness towards y/n however she never paid any mind to those when it started. Even her costars all took it lightly, the method acting questions started coming up in almost all promotions, either that or her relationship. She handled that with grace too, all until the emmys. The Emmys where she won one, a shining star in the tapestry of her young career. Amidst her speech a stand up show host had a set organised. Seemingly she wasn’t priorly informed about it being found dumbfounded on stage. In front of everyone, the same joke of being an alleged method actor made an imprint on her first ever Emmy. Everyone present just laughed like they would through a normal set, they laughed at her, she felt like the world ended. After that function she felt increasingly uncomfortable with herself, a laughingstock. Twitter was divided like it always is, she would just focus on those who added to the joke. Witty jabs. Variety articles behind y/l/n’s Emmy fiasco.

Alex tried. Alex tried really hard, he forced screens away from her. WiFi in their house only for certain hours and he’d supervise it, weekend getaways for her almost every weekend. She just seemed to not escape it, losing her appetite even. Alex was the cook between the two of them, meals would take hours and hours for her to get it down and he would sit with her without a complaint. He loved her truly unconditionally and he was aware it was genuinely hard for her. Such smear campaign was very hard to escape. When she started having sleep issues as well he forcibly suggested therapy. Y/n truly believed she wasn’t meant for therapy, she wasn’t ’therapy audience’ and he consoled her very hard into joining it. Eventually she did and it just added to the shitshow. Apparently the therapist found her difficult to work through, it lasted barely 2 weeks and the therapist referred her to someone else. It became public and her therapist’s statement was “The most difficult patient in all of my career.” Maybe it was the amateur hour for the therapist or maybe it wasn’t meant in a better light but social media smear campaign treated it like a festival.

As weeks progressed everything else seemed increasingly difficult. Especially Alex. Seeing his life, his new normal which would start and end with her well being and nothing would change with her mental state either. Alex was giving out so much of himself yet she couldn’t find it in herself to actually smile even. That guilt was worse than everything else. She let that guilt consume her for a while until she finally decided to do something about it.

That evening, after dinner she finally put a stone on her heart and decided to lay that conversation to him. Guiding him to sit across her on the sofa of their shared place she took his hands into hers “Alex, no one else has stood by me the way you have, these two whole months. It’s the worst thing that’s happened to me perhaps ever and you’ve been with me through it. Just how the cliches say it-like my rock.” She said patiently “I feel like I’m not making any progress but if it weren’t for you I would’ve been at a worse place and” she took in a shaky breath before continuing a long pause following something Alex had no idea of.

“Just how you’ve been around for me.” He said holding her hands in his right her “And what we are isn’t for cliches or for saying y/n, I love you and despite of you being at your lowest as long as I have you, I have all I need. We’ve had rough patches before we’ve been alright and we will be even-“

“Just…just let me finish yeah?” Y/n interrupted him looking down their hands because looking into his eyes which carried soft love was so much harder. “You’re giving away too much of yourself. You don’t see it but I do, you’ve made my well being some sort of a passion project of yours and I understand you want the best for me I really do. But I have to look out for you too, and, I feel like this isn’t fair to you. We’re not working out…we won’t.”

A very long silence followed as Alex stared at her comprehending that, “what?” he huffed in denial “what do you mean?” He asked as if it would change what she meant.

“Alex…” she brought his hands closer to her “you need to do better in life, better than this. You have so much potential to give out, into yourself, into your career and you’ve spent so much on me already. I can’t keep you for me like this…we should…part.”

“I am passionate about you what do you mean passion project? I am in love with you and I want to help you. Just how you’d help me don’t you see it? So you don't get to decide that for me and my potential. It’s mine.” Alex stated firmly.

“Exactly. It’s yours! You’re pouring it all out into me—you’re draining yourself-“

“None of that is for you to decide!” Alex stopped her sentence midway leaving her hands out of his to run his hands through his hair out of frustration.

“Fine…” y/n seemed bad with confrontation and she didn’t want to paint herself out to be a bad lover in his history books years from now but she didn’t know how else to not do that. He was hurting unknowingly. “But this is for me to decide and I have. W-we need to..” she couldn’t even find it in herself to finish that sentence. “Break up.”

“No.” Alex stated so casually like she just asked her a very simple question, as if it was a question. “No we do not. We don’t need to do any such thing.”

“Alex…” she sighed looking away, his denial was breaking her heart. Tears formulated her eyes as she thought about how much this will hurt him.

“What Alex? No: I’m refusing.” He shrugged, very nonchalantly shrugging. Declining her wish as he didn’t even look at her.

“Alex please” she said as she gently cupped his face to look at her, “you don’t realise this…you have been putting yourself through so much for me. This-this is difficult I know, but you’ll be better after this.”

“Y/n, listen to me” he shifted in his seat to face her. “You don’t get to decide this for me. You are going through a tough time and I will not leave you.”

“You haven’t written a piece in two months..you don’t even go to the studio. You barely leave me alone to work with anything else!” She pointed out, all these bits of his habits were vanishing out and she had noticed it all. Being an early riser he’d go for a run around the block but nowadays he’d just time how many hours she had slept because of her issues. Time her vitamins and supplements. Plan things with her and only her as if he wasn’t supposed to have a life of his own.

“I have a writer’s block!” He exclaimed growing increasingly hurt and frustrated that this is how she viewed him helping her. She sounded like a burden to herself but he had never considered one to himself and he hated that she felt that way.

“Because you’re so occupied with me!” She exclaimed back with a sigh rubbing her eyes and looked away, uncrossing her legs on the couch.

“That’s just your assumption y/n you don’t know how my process works and you shouldn’t come to conclusions about things you don’t know.” Alex tried to reason with her even if she was right he couldn’t care less. She was important to him and she needed his full attention.

“Could you please just listen to me Alex…I don’t want to stay within this-“ y/n replied trying to find the right words.

“With me. You don’t want to stay with me.” He rephrased her sentence giving it to her as raw as he fathomed.

“Yes.” Taking in a deep breath she finally let it out because he wasn’t listening to her without brutal honesty. “Yes I don’t.”

“That just isn’t true-that’s not right you’re too tired today that’s all.” Alex replied, he wanted to point it maybe she was also hungry but he kept that for more persuasion.

“Alex, please.” Y/n breathed taking her head in her hands because none of her reasonings got into her head.

He just shook his head in response as the silence weighed heavy between the two of them. Tears streamed down her face as they sat there, Alex was more fine with this tension than he was with being without her. “We just can’t…y/n.” Alex said.

“I’m really sorry” she said as she looked back up at him teary eyed. The tears seemingly made everything difficult for sure. “It’s going to be alright…” she wiped her tears and looked away again. His sad gaze was so gutting to look at and talk at the same time it felt like it would stick with her, hauntingly, even after she leaves.

“But it’s alright already” He urged shifting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her trying to meet her eyes but she kept her gaze fixated at the coffee table.

“That’s what you want to think” she said softly with a heavy heart. “I don’t want to do this either Alex…it’s for the best.”

If it were for the best he wouldn’t be feeling his heart sink lower and his breath shortening. His vision becoming fuzzy already as tears brimmed in his eyes as well. But he wanted to handle this more delicately. “It isn’t, you know it isn’t.” He sniffled. “This isn’t what I want and I know it’s not what you want either, why do you feel this way? This need to run?”

“I’m not running Alex” I’m setting you free, she didn’t say out loud “I’ve been thinking about this a lot and…and this is going to hurt. It will hurt for a while but you’ll get over it.”

“Get over you? Y/n I don’t plan on leaving you” he said still drowning in denial. Stern denial and blind faith he could fix this mess, if he talked to her more. He could fix this mess, if he asked her sleep on it. He could fix this mess, if he held her closer. So he did. “Y/n look at me, look at me.” He forced her to face him. “This isn’t a rational solution. You are going through so much and you are thinking too much but this is a mistake. What we have is bigger than our problems-“

“Alex.” She stopped him midway, staring into his teary eyes with hers the same “This is my problem. You try to make to make it ours, helping me through it is one thing but this is taking up too much effort and energy in your life don’t you get that?”

Alex had never felt this defeated all his life. No reasoning seemed to get to him. He couldn’t digest that she let such thoughts mature for about a week and never once preferred to talk to him about it but just became sure about it. When the fact that she felt so distant from him to not even bring it up brought him to flowing tears. Taking his face into his hands he cried. Breaking down, y/n never saw him like this and she had seen him go through supposedly tougher situations. “You can’t do this to me” he said, his voice parched and eyes red.

The thought of leaving the next day in the morning, sleeping in different bedrooms and hugging him a goodbye at breakfast was so done now. If she didn’t leave now she won’t be able to leave ever. Just holding his face in her hands as her tears streamed down her face reciprocating his. She couldn’t even muster the courage to mouth a sorry. She glanced away at her keys and wallet by the side table. It hit her like a truck when she realised there won’t be a goodbye tomorrow but today. This very moment. She slowly got her car keys and wallet and put them on her side. “It’s going to be okay…” she said sighing. Cupping his face in her hands as he reciprocated the action holding her hands and staring into her eyes.

“No it’s not” he replied with heavy grief laced in his voice. Why wouldn’t she do anything to change this? Why would she let it be this way? He felt helpless to how she firm she was about this. He placed his lips onto hers holding her closer by her waist as she cradled his face. It time were to stop he’d prefer death over letting her go. As they kissed he realised how temporary this moment will be and how this memory will bite him with sharp teeth of yearning. He couldn’t stomach the thought that she would be a memory. Visit him in nostalgia and come up in conversations and that would be all?

Eventually she pulled away from their kiss, wiping his tears with her hands as her own surfaced her face too. His dreary eyes had such an effect upon she couldn’t bare it and she softly kissed him again. His hands would still not let her go. As moments passed in holding each other and the kisses broke she realised it was time. “Goodbye, Alex.” She spoke with a voice barely above whisper because the sound of her voice breaking was louder.

His eyes widened as he realised she was leaving, now. He had barely come to terms with the fact that she was leaving. He held her hand back as she tried standing up. “You’re leaving?” His voice broke as he asked that. Y/n didn’t have it in herself to answer him what he already knew she just looked at him apologetically. Apology she knew she didn’t deserve at this very moment. “You can’t just leave right now-think about this. Sleep on it, if you still want to go leave next week?”

His negotiations seemed to know no bounds and the bargain was to get him nowhere. It would probably make him worse if she stayed. If she stayed after this. “Alex-“

“You can’t even drive in this state y/n absolutely not-if you want a break from me we could just sleep in separate bedrooms I won’t bother you-“ he tried to come up with all possible alternatives.

Her heart sank further realising how further he'd go just to make her stay. It solidified her decision of her leaving because he would always chose her above himself, even at the expense of himself hurting. She had to love him enough to let him go. “Alex…” she breathed stopping him midway “I have to.” Shaking her head she stood up to leave but didn’t see him stand up at the corner of her eyes. Somewhat relived it wouldn’t be harder to walk out that door perhaps. As she clutched her keys and wallet she felt a tug at her leg.

Looking behind to see Alex on his knees for her, it was perhaps the worst sight ever her tears reciprocating his again before he even spoke. “Y/n I beg of you please don’t go” he said as he wrapped his arms around her legs, on his knees weeping for her.

Trying to remain balanced on her footing against his grip, “don’t do this” she pleaded as her voice broke and she knelt to his level. “Please don’t make this harder.” She cried choking on her words and held his hands. Alex held her hands back very tightly.

“It doesn’t have to be hard at all” he spoke through tears as she sat close to him he brought her closer naturally settling onto his lap. As she cried and wiped his tears more just streamed down his face, “We can make it out of this y/n please, trust me please have some faith in us”

The desperation in his voice, the tears and his words it was all so gutting. This would me one of those moments she would perhaps never recover from. If she ever finds happiness again she felt like it would be at the expense of this, it would be hard for him. Very hard, but he would do so much better if she left. It was evident how much he was willing to give even to the last moment, it was concerning. “You can’t love someone this hard” y/n held his face in her hands and told him sternly “I am very miserable and I’m bringing you the same pain-over and over. This is it Alex. You won’t hurt again at the hands of me and I’m sorry it is this way…” she told him. He had no words but tears to shed. He sat absolutely defeated with her entangled in his arms. Neither he said anything nor did she.

Y/n held him back wrapping her arms around him giving him a hug or maybe hiding his teary face from herself and likewise. Rubbing his back as she hugged him sitting upon his lap. He buried his face by her neck holding her close. If the world were to end he wouldn’t care because it already did for him. The thought that this was probably the last time she would be in his arms like this made his agony worsen.

They just held each other for almost a whole hour, her head resting by his chest as they sat intertwined. The silent and slow understanding of the end. Some picture frames on the coffee table and the wall ahead, somewhat blurry because of the tears, those memories came back so much clearer. There will be no more and these will just remain pictures. Alex let out a shudder of a breath at that thought. “Where will you go?” He asked her in a tone just above a whisper.

“To my dad’s.” She replied softly without looking back up at him nor attempting to shift away from his grip. Last of his warmth. Theirs.

“He was just starting to like me…” he spoke as a soft chuckle escaped him through the tears and y/n’s followed. He would often joke with her that her dad ‘hated him’ because he was rather stern to him and she would always tell him otherwise. In truth he may be but what did it all matter now? He looked down at her in his arms when she let out a little laugh too but then quivering, broke down in his arms. He kissed the top of her head with silent consoling and holding her with the last of his love she’d let him give her.

The night wouldn’t last forever just like them and she finally left. With much courage and a heavy heart out of his arms and then their shared place. Alex couldn’t watch her leave and he did not. The last glimpse he caught of her face before he kissed the top of her head. He would think back to this for a long while and he wanted to remember her beautiful face and not her leaving him. She left and the door shut, on their house and their life together.

-

A job is a job. However excruciating and beaten down, it finds you on your face but you’re bound to return. Y/n did as well. Over half a year, she started working again. Lived with her dad to make a comeback to the one place that would have ever even after everything. Her career made a turn eventually the Twitter smear campaigns wear themselves out. Talent comes through in Hollywood despite its vice like grip over its finest stars. Y/n’s project worked out, she avoided the award season despite being nominated but she did walk promotional red carpet for her new project. Time heals.

Time is subjected to heal everything even with some ignited hatred if that be to overcome the hurt. Alex, he grew to despise y/n. The first few months hurt so much, everywhere in the house he’d find his things even after she collected them. There were pieces of her everywhere. Their pictures were what hurt the least. Even after he moved out of the place whose sunrise constantly reminded of her absence of his arm. He kept finding her things everywhere. The longing could surround him for long until he turned all of that sadness into a harsher emotion. It was difficult to teach himself to decline her thoughts, hate her. But he did and that’s when he wasn’t as sad.

When the devil can’t reach you it keeps you on Alex turner’s bad side. Or perhaps send you to him. Just as now, y/n was doing her friend of years, Richard, a favour. Moreover Richard pleaded and begged her to do so. He was making a music video for the arctic monkeys and the studio’s PR team members wanted y/n specially or pull the cord of the entire project. Since her career was booming it would be perfect publicity for the upcoming single and her history with Alex. Y/n would rather not indulge in such at all, especially with Alex. Richard assured her that Alex wouldn’t even be on the set for the music video and it was set in Ireland’s grasslands. Too far for Alex to attend anyways since he wasn’t in the music video.

First day on set after she lands there y/n finds herself treated with warmth with the core team. The operator, the camera team, the crew most of them were faces she’d previously known. Everyone ‘glad’ to see her working again was a comment she was irked with for a while ever since she’d returned to working. They always said it in a comforting tone as if she’d was coming back from jail or so, such patient like sympathy was difficult but not anymore. Very comfortably used to it. Superficial condolences in the best way perhaps.

“Missed you fuckface!” She laughed as she hugged Richard on the set and he joined along. Hugging her back, they’d met after a long while.

“I did too, you jerk.” He laughed and ruffled her hair a bit, she nudged away in response and their inside jokes kept ongoing. Through the conversations it swayed back to being on set and Richard worked her through the video.

“This place is so remote I’m so glad you agreed because nobody else would’ve come this far and Alex wanted just you.” Richard mentioned as he talked her through the cinematic of it.

“Wait, Alex did?” Y/n asked furrowing her brows together. Richard had stated to her that Alex wouldn’t be there at all so him wanting her for the video, ‘just her’ was somewhat unbelievable.

“The record did…it’s kind of the same thing.” Richard replied.

“It’s not” she shrugged given she knew the context conversations between Alex and the record from when they were together. “I’m just so glad he’s not here”

“He’s not a bad person you know” Richard accounted for him thinking the breakup was his fault given how rigid y/n was not wanting to sign up for an AM project.

“Oh no of course not” he’s an angel, she didn’t say out loud. Alex kept whatever happened between them through the break up private. He didn’t even paint her out like someone who wronged him to their mutual friends, when he could’ve done so.

“Then why do you have such a problem with him being here?” Richard asked with voice laced of confusion and curiosity.

“I don’t have a problem just too much-“ drama? Bad memories? Good memories? Regret? All too much perhaps.

“Well that’s great then because he might be here.” Richard spoke hurriedly despite his promise he was just making the video he couldn’t dictate who could and could not be on set. Especially not the lead singer.

“What? What do you mean?” She asked with a dejected scoff, she believed him when he’d promised that Alex won’t be on set. “What do you mean here Richard you told me-“

“I mean here as in he may be around but he’s here for now-“ Richard fumbled with his words mentally preparing for the telling off y/n would inflict on him soon enough.

“Here as in?” She asked raising sharp brow at him crossing her arms.

“As in Ireland…” Richard trailed off and took a cue to hastily add the next information as she took in a sharp breath “Could also be on set”

“On set?!” She exclaimed “right now?”

“I’m not sure okay I don’t know-the video script had some changes and he was needed for some pretext or something. Also, y/n. He’s written this song, it’s his band—I can’t just say no to him if he wants to be on set.” Richard explained. The bickering went on back and forth for a while until a voice from behind broke them.

“Richard!” Alex exclaimed as he paced up to the man, all colour drained and also made her flustered when the air shifted with Alex’s hasty walk to Richard who she stood right beside. Alex greeted Richard with a hug. “This is a beautiful location, fantastic work yeah?”

“Ah thanks mate.” Richard said with a smile as they made a small talk about the set and think pieces. He tried to include y/n in the conversation too but Alex didn’t once look to the side as if she wasn’t even present there. Richard talked about some of the crew to Alex and then, wanting to relay it slowly. “And y/n, you know her of course”

“Right yeah” Alex scoffed and made a somewhat bothered expression, irritated in an instant. He did so as if she truly wasn’t present there. Intimidatingly he stood with his hands on his waist, leather jacket, the classic Alex. Soon enough without casting her as much as a glance he took his leave from the conversation.

She wasn’t ready for this conversation, not that it was a conversation at all. Y/n’s little ‘hi there’ was blatantly ignored by him too but it was all expected. She had planned to not cross paths with him but hypothetically after all that went down she had anticipated him being cold like this. She wasn’t mentally prepared for it, not today. However she didn’t hold it against him by all means he had the right to act this way. Even if she wanted to be somewhat offended by his harshness his pleading face, desperate tone, begging her not to leave on his knees all of it just came flooding back to sink her in regret. If the roles were reversed she would want to be far away from Alex and that’s what she would grant him. Keep her distance.

“So…” Richard trailed off pulling her out of her train of thoughts to talk about the unsolicited harshness. To an outsider, the breakup had been almost 6 months ago and neither of them made any big grievances about it so it was all very odd.

“Don’t.” Y/n shook her head not willing to go into this discourse.

-

I’ll do a few parts to this series let me know if you want to be tagged ;)

Comments and thoughts will be so so so very appreciated please please please let me know

[youresodarkbabe]

i'm listening, ready to learn (prof!a. turner x reader)

smut.

warnings: prof!al x reader (yes this is influenced by the recents), age gap, piv, dom-ish al, oral (f!receiving)

word count: 2.6k

took me a while but im back!! hi :)

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"it's definitely not the worst i've seen."

those four words were like a knife to the heart. you put everything you had into those pictures, worked on them for weeks, refining, editing, reshoots, and that still didn't please him. you gave him everything you had to offer, and it still wasn't enough. you could cry on the spot, but his voice pulled you out of your mind's abyss.

"do you want a second chance? i mean, i think you could do much better than this, not to be too harsh."

you had to stop yourself from showing your sheer happiness, you couldn't believe this. you try your hardest to compose yourself before speaking.

"yes, please," you mutter quietly, your voice coming out almost like a squeak. he found it endearing.

he sets your portfolio on his desk and stands up, sliding it over to you with a smile before taking a sip of his coffee.

"tell me if this crosses a line, but would you like to do the shoots at my studio? i have everything you need and more there, i think it'd be very useful."

reality hits you hard. you and your professor at his studio, all alone. if you weren't already trying to conceal your emotions, you were definitely doing it now. ignoring the heat pooling between your legs, you nod, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid of what would come out of your mouth.

"alright," alex grabs a pen from his shirt pocket and jots down his phone number and studio's address on a post it note and sticks it on the top of your portfolio, "how's this friday? is 7 good for you?"

you nod again, eyes fixed on his. "'s perfect, sir."

the sun was shining perfectly, his eyes illuminating like gold. he was so, so beautiful and it took everything you had to break that eye contact and walk out of the class.

come friday, and you're already panicking. you can't find any of the things you need, your reference pictures are shit in hindsight and your roommate had accidentally broken the lens you needed for your camera. regardless, you show up to the studio twenty minutes too early with all you could carry, hoping he wouldn't hate you for your lack of equipment.

he opens the door in a red shirt, a few buttons undone. you couldn't help but picture what he'd look like with the shirt off.

"you're early, doll," he lets you into the studio and shows you where to keep your stuff. "i would've rushed a bit more when cleaning if i knew you'd be so early."

your cheeks heat up as you take in his words.

"i can always come back later?" you say, almost immediately packing your stuff back up, only for alex to stop you with a hand holding your wrist firmly in place.

"it's fine, promise. just a tad unexpected."

he gives you that classic smile and all the worry in your heart seems to melt away. he asks if you'd like some space to set up, and as much as you want to spend time with him, you know it'd be best if you focused, so you say yes. alex darts off to the other side of the room where you see him fiddling with the portfolio from your previous meeting. you tear away your focus from him and set up your camera and all you'd need for the shoot.

he shuts it abruptly, the sound making you jump, his voice instantly soothing your mind.

"did you bring any references?"

shit, you think to yourself. you hated the references you originally had, you left them at home. you had absolutely nothing.

alex tuts, setting the portfolio back down and walking to you, tapping your chin so you'd look up at him, which you do.

"i can see you gettin' in your head. you don't have to worry, we can figure this out, okay?"

"okay."

you and alex stand there for a moment, faces so close, almost close enough for you to close the gap— to kiss him, but you choose against it. alex again seems to be the one to snap out of the haze first, taking a few steps away, clearing his throat. "i, uh, have some pictures you could use as a reference."

right. the photoshoot. that's why you're here.

"you wanna go get 'em for me?" alex asks as he sits down on the chair in front of your camera. you say yes, waiting on him to tell you where to go.

"just that shelf there, the gray one."

you hold the hefty photo album in your hand and hand it to him, standing behind him, leaning in to look at the pictures.

calling them gorgeous would be an understatement. you had been passionate for photography for as long as you could remember and you had never seen pictures that had captured the human essence that beautifully.

alex points at a specific picture and looks up at you, beaming.

the photograph looked simple enough, but there was something to it, something that made it transcend normalcy, the model looked ethereal. it was in black and white, and the standout feature was the bright red lipstick mark on the model's neck, you could immediately picture alex like that, he'd look so perfect.

you try ignoring how wet just the thought of him like that makes you and as if on cue, he says your name, you look away from the picture and back at him.

"i can see the ideas in your eyes, i think we'd best get started, hm?"

you let out a shaky breath and are about to go to your camera, before you pause and turn to him.

"am i.. do i have to take the pictures of you?"

and for the first time, you see a blush grace your professor's perfect face.

"that was the plan, yeah. we can always find a different picture to replicate if you want, it's fine, i don't mind—"

"no! i mean, it's fine. i'm alright with taking the pictures of you, sir."

alex runs a hand through his hair and licks his lips, "alright, okay,". he smiles at you again, making your heart melt and you feel yourself getting soaked. "think i should change this shirt, though. what do you think, sweetheart?"

based on the look on his face, you can tell he didn't mean to let the nickname slip. you'd be lying if you said you didn't love the way how naturally it rolled off his tongue, though. his accent made the word go straight to your core.

"you can change if you'd like."

he mumbles a quiet 'yeah', and goes off into the corner of the room, unbuttoning his shirt as he walks, unaware of how your eyes are fixed onto him. he slips the shirt off and turns to you, holding two shirts in either of his hands.

"black or white?"

you eye him up and down, replying despite being completely distracted.

"white."

he puts the shirt on as he walks back to the seat, you avoid eye contact because who knows what he'd say if you kept staring.

he sits down and you look back down at the reference picture, one question filling your mind.

"sir?"

he hums in response, fixing the camera slightly.

"the lipstick mark. do i have to—"

"if you want. it's not needed, you don't have to."

the second you hear alex say you can kiss him, you grab your red lipstick and apply it, not noticing how enamored alex is. he watches on as you swipe the lipstick along your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to feel them against his, but at the same time, terrified that you don't see him the same way.

you stand in between alex's legs, one of his hands on your waist as you lean in and press your lips to the side of his neck, under his jaw. you hear his breath hitch as you pull away, the grip on your waist getting firmer.

"it doesn't look good, can i redo it?" you ask, just so you could kiss him again. alex nods and hands you his old shirt to wipe the lipstick off with. you kiss his neck again, this time with your lips parted, your teeth lightly grazing his pulse point.

alex's eyes fall shut and his mouth hangs open, a quiet groan gracing your ears. with his eyes still shut, he moves his other hand to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "that one good enough for you?", he asks, his hands moving to your back, wrapping around you.

"no, i think i need to kiss you again." you mutter, dipping your head even closer to his. alex doesn't hold back, this time. he leans in and kisses you, standing up and pulling away to kiss your cheek, laughing at the slight red tint he leaves.

"'m i right in assumin' my lips are red too, now?"

you nod as you tangle your hands in his hair, kissing him again, deeply, tongue and teeth clashing with no regard for anything but each other.

alex's hands slip down to your thighs, tapping on them and instinctively you jump into his grasp, letting him carry you with his hands planted firmly under your ass. he pulls away again, dipping his head to your neck, sucking, biting, licking— anything that makes you feel good. you feel how hard he is through your jeans, and you grind against him, making him moan along your collarbone.

"d'you wanna go to my room, baby?", he asks in between kisses. your mind is too overwhelmed with him to respond, so you just tug on his hair, hoping he'd take the message, which he does.

you can barely focus on where he's taking you, working on unbuttoning his shirt, not realising what alex takes with him into his room.

he lays you down on his bed, it dipping when he settles on his knees by your side, letting you unbutton his shirt. he shrugs it off, smiling at how you look at him, completely obsessed with you. he slides his hands under your shirt, waiting for you to let him know it was okay to take it off, which you do with a moan. you're grinding against his thigh now, letting him take your shirt off. while he's there, he also takes your bra off, swearing under his breath at the sight of your tits. he cups them, twisting your nipples between his fingers, watching as they harden, taking one into his mouth.

he sucks on it before pulling off with a pop, kissing all over your chest until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. he undoes the button and pulls them off slowly, along with your soaking wet panties, both joining the growing pile of clothes on his floor.

alex runs a finger through your folds and pops it into his mouth, humming as he tastes you.

your hips roll into his as you whine, "sir, i need you, please," you begged, and alex simply couldn't say no to you.

alex strips down fully in front of you, and just the sight of his cock makes you squirm. he was bigger than you'd imagined him being. trying to convince yourself that you could take him, you watch as he slides back in between your legs and places his arms on either side of your head. you can't help yourself from reaching out for his cock, stroking it and playing with the tip. his arms almost give in as he groans straight into your ear.

he moves one of his hands to pry yours away from his cock, "if you pull somethin' like that again, i'll make sure to leave you here, just like this. got it?"

the harshness in his voice makes you clench around nothing, you nod rapidly, biting your lip to keep quiet.

"good girl," alex mutters as he aligns himself with your aching hole, pushing in as slowly as possible, both of you moaning as he bottoms out. his hand goes to your clit, rubbing it in figure eights as slowly as possible as he pulls out almost completely, only to slam back in.

your hands go to his back, nails digging into his skin as he thrusts. he had a plan— he was going to take it slow, be as gentle as possible— but it all went to shit the second he saw the way your tits moved with every thrust.

he speeds up, going faster with every thrust, eyes flitting between your face and your tits. his fingers work your clit like magic and your back arches into him, tits pressing against his chest as he hits the perfect spot. you moan his name loudly, biting into his shoulder to muffle your noise. he strokes your hair softly, slowing down just a bit to kiss your cheek.

"feel good, princess?" he asks, his voice sweeter than sugar.

"so, so, so good, fuck—" you feel yourself getting closer and closer and alex can feel it too. you clench around him before you see white, the pleasure of it all taking over as you cum hard. alex fucks you through it, getting closer and closer to his peak.

just as he's about to cum, he pulls out, slightly too late. his cum spurts all over your thighs, stomach and cunt, but you're too fucked out to care.

"that was so good, love, you did so, so well for me."

he kisses your collarbone again, moving lower and lower, eventually settling with his face in between your thighs. he pushes the cum off of your stomach and thighs and into your cunt with his fingers, twisting them inside you. surprised, you tug on his hair, pulling him to look at you.

"i got you, good girl, don't worry, okay?"

you nod as alex pulls his fingers out and slides them into your mouth, making you suck them clean— which you do.

he kisses your inner thigh before finally licking a stripe up your worn pussy, making direct eye contact as he does so. his lips attach to your clit, teeth grazing against it as he flicks it with his tongue, eventually moving his thumb to do that job for him. he slides his tongue into you, tasting you as best as he can, moaning into your cunt. the vibrations drive you crazy, hips bucking into his mouth as he licks into you relentlessly.

his nose nudges your clit as you feel your peak getting closer once more, legs wrapping around his head as you cum again, letting him clean you up with his gentle kitten licks. alex looks up at you through his messy hair, laughing as you pry him away from your overstimulated cunt. he eventually gives in, moving away and kissing his way back up to your face.

the two of you sit there in silence for a while, the only sounds you hear is alex's quiet breathing as you run your hands through his hair.

"'m sorry," he mumbles against your lips. "you're my student, this isn't right, i shouldn't have—"

you press your lips against his once more, softer this time, less starved, less desperate. you kiss him as if you can see more of these kisses coming your way in the future.

"i can see you getting in your head, alex." he chuckles at the callback to what he had told you earlier, hiding his head in the crook of your neck. "i want this to work. i think if we tried, and if we're careful, it will."

alex takes a deep breath in, sitting up next to you, gently stroking your stomach as he presses another kiss to your neck.

"it better work, doll."

you feel yourself starting to drift asleep, only waking up to the feeling of alex's body leaving yours.

"what are you doing?" you ask quietly, voice too hoarse speak normally.

alex grabs what he took with him earlier, that object you couldn't quite make out, and waves it in front of your eyes. that fucking camera.

"just stay still, love," he says as he snaps a few pictures of you, smiling at the stills.

"so.. are those getting me my A?"

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anyways.. sextape fic soon!!

[joekeeryswife]

hi hihi can u do an age gap fic w alex - like both alex and reader are famous and reader gets a ton of hate for dating him and alex js comforts reader 😕

Age Gap - a.t

a/n: hey loves! i haven’t written for alex in ages! my requests are open for him so please send me some through, enjoy 🫶🏼 y/n is 26 and Alex is 38

you had been with Alex for over a year and a half but only just recently announced it. you knew that you both would get hate for it but you didn’t realise the extent of hate you would receive. you had a big following, you were a famous supermodel and an influencer and met Alex when you were at one of the music release parties and hit it off straight away.

you’d gotten hate before, being a model came with the thousands of people hating on you just for being yourself but it never got to you because you knew that these people were either jealous or just bored and you never even looked at their comments because it wasn’t worth it.

there had been speculation of you and Alex being together your whole relationship which never bothered you, you didn’t feel the need to explain yourself when people would ask questions about it but you and Alex were both sick of not being able to go out in public and do normal stuff together.

Alex had gone out to the studio a few hours ago to do some recording and you took the opportunity to look through the comments of your post. you weren’t shocked at you getting hate but shocked at the amount of hate you were receiving.

your post was cute, a few pictures of you and Alex in a photobooth together which showed how much you were in love and you were upset that people didn’t agree. there were obviously hundereds of lovely comments, people saying how great you looked together, how loved up you looked but they were overwhelmed with the thousands of hate comments.

yn.yln: 🤍 @AlexTurner

View 104,628 comments

honeymoon: babies🥹

yourbestfriend: surprised i could keep this quiet 🤫

ynfan01: YAY OMFG

ynfan5183: NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED IN ALL MY LIFE

arcticm0nkeys: ew wth. Alex should be with someone older than this girl, isn’t she like 20 or something?

fan61838: y/n is so gorgeous i can’t deal! Alex is a lucky guy.

user0183: no one wants you here, you shouldn’t be with someone like Alex. he deserves so much better than you.

user163: wtaf is this. why would he want her?

yn.alexfan163: the update we have all been waiting for🤭

user74: no because tell me why alex chose her? she is way too young.

monkeys5363: our boy looks so happy, they deserve the world 🥰

user260: please leave y/n, you don’t deserve alex.

monkeysfan: alex looks so happy guys, leave them be 🫶🏼

ynswife: they’re so in love🫶🏼

alexturnershair: don’t even they looks so happy🥹

user54: these photos are vile. Alex honey we forgive you for choosing her but please leave. you deserve someone so much better than y/n.

your eyes filled with tears and you quickly put your head in your hands. the hate never usually got to you but this was a whole new level. were these people right? did alex really deserve someone better? were you really too young for him? your mind was filled with a million questions. what if alex decided that you were too young for him and that he deserved someone better than you?

a few tears spilled down your cheeks, this was awful. you had never felt so pick on up until now. yes you were a lot younger than him but that didn’t mean you weren’t mature enough. it wasn’t like you were underage, you were a full grown adult and these people were picking on you because you were younger than alex?

your mind was going so crazy that you didn’t even hear Alex come through the front door. he had even called out to you and got worried when he got no response. he found you sat curled up on the sofa, your small sobs could be heard and his body filled with worry.

“sweetheart? what’s happed?” he quickly sat down next to you and pulled your body into his. he kissed your forehead and rubbed his hand up and down your back soothingly. he heard you sniffle as you tried to calm yourself down but it was no use, a sob escaped you making his heart break. “take a deep breathe, talk to me honey”

you tried to regulate your breathing, listening to his heartbeat as you hugged him closer. “you’re gonna leave me” he was confused, where has this come from? it was completely out of character for you and he had never ever seen you like this before. “what are you on about baby, i’m not going to leave you” he felt your arms squeeze his waist.

you pulled away so you could look at him, his face was filled with concern and confusion. “i was reading the comments on our photo” he sighed, he knew something like this would happen when you announced your relationship but he didn’t think it would make you cry like this. “you shouldn’t read them sweetheart, you know them people are just jealous” his thumb reached out to stroke your tear stained cheeks.

“i know but they were all saying how you deserved so much better than me and how im way too young for you. that you deserve someone who’s closer to you in age and it just got my mind going. maybe you do deserve better than me” now his heart had full on shattered. you sounded so vulnerable and scared and the look on your face made it even worse. you just looked so sad and he hated that. deep down he was fuming that these people had made you cry but he didn’t want to show you that.

“do you really think i listen to what the comments have to say? do you think i let my so called fans dictate my life? i don’t listen to them. they can’t decide who’s good for me and who’s not, they don’t even know me. and if i had an issue with your age i wouldn’t of dated you in the first place, it isn’t like you’re a minor. you’re an adult same as what i am. i know it’s hard to not read the comments but i really don’t give a shit about what they say” his eyes were soft as he looked at you, he hated that these people had made you this upset.

“i love you and those dickheads can just fuck off. you are the only girl for me, yes i’ve had relationships in the past but i’ve never ever felt like this and we don’t need their input, we never did before so why listen now” he lent in and gave you a quick kiss on the lips. “now i bet there were some nice comments in there, they can’t be all bad surely” you showed him your phone which was still showing the post.

he looked through the comments and shook his head as he read the bad ones. “most of these people don’t even follow me, they’re just doing it because they want attention and they want to hurt you but don’t let them get to you, they’re just a bunch of assholes who don’t have a life” he passed your phone back to you and pulled you into him again.

“you’re too pretty to cry honey, i love you and that’s all that matters. no more looking at these silly comments” he felt you nod “i love you too” he kissed your forehead softly.

[rentsturner]

A Place To Hide - A.T.

Alex turner x fem!reader

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), kissing, tiny bit of dirty talk, teasing, begging and orgasm denial (if you squint), fluff before and after, established relationship

a/n: for my bestie @ohladymoon I hope you enjoy this. its pretty short, but I needed something to get me out of my slump.

You slowly wake up to sunlight filtering through the blinds, casting a warm glow over your sleeping boyfriend, who’s softly snoring away next to you. The alarm clock next to you says 9:00 AM, a nice lie in for a Sunday morning. You think about your plans for the day before remembering that you and Alex have decided on a chilled day to spend time with each other, having not seen him much this week due to his long hours at the studio recording a new album. A warm feeling settles in your chest at the thought of relaxing with Alex all day, watching films, reading books together and probably ordering a takeaway in the evening. 

You yawn and stretch, trying taking care not to nudge Alex and wake him up, but you hear him mumble and groan, as if he can sense that you’ve awoken. 

You roll over to face him, watching as his eyelashes flutter, his squint as his eyes adjust to the light and he rubs one hand over his face, reaching up to scratch his forehead as he yawns loudly. His eyes focus on you and a tired smile spreads over his face. 

“Morning, love.”

“Morning, Al.” You smile at his voice, deep and husky, a little hoarse from all the singing he’s been doing at the studio recently. The bags under his eyes add to the picture, suggesting he may be working himself a little too hard. You make a mental note to ask him about it later, make sure he’s looking after himself. 

His arm loops around your waist, tugging on your hip to pull you closer into his warmth. You snuggle into his chest, breathing in his musky scent, but Alex interrupts you, tugging on your hair softly and tilting your head upwards to look at him. His face splits into a sleepy grin before he moves in and brushes his lips against yours. It’s slow and a little needy, making up for the lost time over the past week, savouring the first kiss of the day. His tongue swipes your bottom lip and you open your mouth for him, whining as his tongue pushes past yours. His nose is pushing into your cheek and his soft hair is tickling your forehead, but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. 

Alex’s grip tightens on your hip, fingers squeezing gently, before smoothing his hand over your ass cheeks, kneading the flesh slowly. 

You giggle at his neediness and murmur against his lips. “Someone’s eager.”

Alex whines, but doesn’t deny it. “I’ve barely seen you all week, darling. It’s been too long.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, Alex takes the opportunity to begin kissing down your neck.

“Al, you had me Monday night, Wednesday night, and Thursday. Twice on Thursday, actually, if I remember correctly.”

“Not. Enough.” Alex huffs in between kisses. You smirk. As much as you love to tease him, you’ve missed him too - the quickies late at night, before bed, aren’t enough for you either. Alex tried his best, but he’s been so tired from recording recently that two rounds was the maximum he could go before he was snoring into the mattress. You understand. But now that he’s taking his time with you, worshipping you and marking up the skin on your neck, it's easy for you to get excited. You thread your fingers into his hair, soft and fluffy from sleep, and you tug on it gently, knowing how much Alex loves having his hair played with. 

His kisses get more frantic and frequent as he moves from your neck, down your shoulder, kissing along your arm as you giggle at his actions. He takes your hand in his, maintaining your gaze with his own as he brings your knuckles to his lips and kisses them gently. 

His gaze flits over your face and you blush at the intensity of his stare as he whispers softly “You’re so beautiful. Did you know?”

“No, Al, it’s not like you tell me everyday.” you laugh again, acting playful and nonchalant but secretly a little moved by his earnest admission.

“Well, that’s my job as your boyfriend. To tell you that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

You lean in to brush your lips against his again, humming your thanks. You pull back before he can deepen the kiss and he whines, deep in his chest.

“And you - you’re the most handsome man in the world.”

“Obviously.” Alex rolls his eyes jokingly and you scoff and slap his chest lightly.

“The cockiest man in the world too, evidently.”

“Don’t you know it…” 

Alex ducks his head down to continue his exploits on your neck, mouthing and kissing wetly at your skin, finding your sweet spot and nibbling on it, eliciting an unexpected moan from your throat. He takes your noises as a sign to continue as he manoeuvres himself so that he’s leaning over you, holding his weight up with his forearms on either side of your head. Slowly, he starts moving downwards, shuffling down your body, littering your breasts with open mouthed kisses through your thin sleep shirt. You moan as his hot mouth finds your peaked nipple, a rough palm rubbing the other one, but he moves on after a few moments, still moving south on his search for his goal. And you know exactly what his goal is. 

Finally, he settles himself between your legs. You kick the blankets away, wanting your view of your handsome boyfriend eating you out to be unobstructed. Goosebumps appear along your bare skin, partly from the chill of the air, partly from the anticipation of what’s about to happen.

Alex pushes your legs apart, hooking a finger in your panties to pull them off smoothly, but he doesn’t touch your dripping centre yet. He bites your inner thigh and you yelp, in surprise and excitement, and he chuckles, then licks and sucks over the mark, soothing the sting. He continues on the opposite thigh, biting, nipping, licking, sucking, building you up until you feel like you’re gonna drip all over the sheets. You need his mouth on your cunt. 

“Fuck…Al, don’t tease me.”

Alex just chuckles from his position between your legs, but he plants a final kiss on your inner thigh before pushing your legs apart even further. Your heart rate picks up, desperate to finally have his mouth where you want it. Alex’s thumbs reach to gently pull your lips apart, revealing how wet you've become over the last 15 minutes, your pink clit glistening like a jewel above your puffy hole. You hear him groan deeply as he takes you in, feel his hot breath fan out over your sensitive skin before finally, finally, he dives in. 

He licks one long stripe up your slit, gathering your juices on his tongue and moaning as he tastes you, then he presses his lips to your clit and suckles. After all the teasing, the feel of his hot mouth lapping and sucking at you is like a glass of cool water on a hot day and you groan embarrassingly loudly. Your hands grasp at his hair again, fingers entwining with his soft strands, tugging and pulling. Alex hums in response against your clit, the vibrations going straight to your core and you moan yet again. 

You grind your hips, moving slowly against Alex’s face, your clit rubbing against his nose while his tongue pushes easily into your hole. You peer down at Alex, gasping as you see his face contorted in pleasure, his eyes scrunched closed, his cheeks and chin glossy with your juices. You see his own hips grinding slowly against the mattress, chasing his own pleasure. It always amazes you how much eating you out turns him on, how many times he’s come in his pants like a 16 year old as his tongue laps away at you. He’s never ashamed though, often proud in fact. You’ll have to repay the favour later, most likely multiple times throughout the day.

You're jolted back to the present, a wave of adrenaline rolling through your blissful fog as Alex’s long finger pokes at your hole. He presses in just the tip, letting you feel him before pulling out again. He repeats the action, still suckling at your clit, never pushing in anymore than an inch, watching your cunt clench around nothing when he pulls back.

You tug on his hair more forcefully. “P-please, Al.”

Alex lifts his head up from your cunt momentarily, a lazy grin spreading over his face. Your juices glisten on his lips as he whispers “Please what, darling?”

You whine, too overwhelmed to think about stupid things like words, tugging harder on his hair.

“You know what I-- what I want.”

“Of course I do, I just like to hear you beg.” Alex laughs, pushing his finger in again just up to the tip, wiggling it a little to let you feel him, to tease you even more and you can’t cope anymore.

“Oh, fingers, Al, need your fingers, please, I-”

You groan loudly as he finally plunges his finger into you, up to the knuckle, moving it back and forth slowly, stroking your walls as he moves in and out. He laughs again at your reaction, then ducks his head back down to continue lapping at your clit, like a man starved. 

There's a sharp pinch and then an even deeper roll of pleasure as Alex pushes a second finger into your hole. He curls his digits, pushing and stroking against your walls and your eyes roll back, the feeling of him so deep inside you coupled with his mouth against your clit enough to bring you close to the edge already. 

“Al, I’m-”

“Not yet.” The words are murmured quietly but firmly against your skin, but you hear them just the same. You clench your fists, trying to hold back the wave of pleasure threatening to engulf you, trying to eke a few more moments of bliss before you cum. 

Alex has other ideas though. He scissors his fingers, spreading them as far as they’ll go before pulling his fingers out a little, watching your hole gape and contract around his digits. The stretch you feel is practically euphoric and you whine and pant, so close to the edge, so ready to fall. 

When Alex dips his head down one last time to lap at your open hole, you can’t hold back any longer. Your hips buck, a high pitched moan escaping from your lips, one hand yanking on Alex’s hair, pushing his head further into your cunt, the other hand grasping desperately at the bedsheets. The wave of pleasure rushes over you and your vision goes black for a split second, you feel a gush of wetness as you finally release. Alex eases you through your orgasm, fingers still stretching you, pumping in and out of your cunt gently, his tongue flicking at your clit. After a few moments, you tug on his hair, indicating to him that it's too much, too sensitive, too overwhelming, and he licks one last stripe up your cunt to clean you up before he finally pulls away. 

He sits back on his heels, taking you in with a lazy grin. You’re boneless, lying back against the pillows, covered in a sheen of sweat, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath. Alex smooths his hands over your shaking legs, squeezing the trembling muscles gently, soothing you as you come back to earth. 

“What a lovely breakfast that was.” Alex flops himself back onto the bed next to you, nuzzling into your chest and getting himself comfy.

“Wait, let me- let me help you.” You can feel his hard cock poking at your thigh, obviously having managed not to come in his pants this time. 

Alex just hums against your skin, rubbing your sides with his large palms, his eyes fluttering shut. “Later. Let me nap.”

“Al, we literally just woke up.”

“We’ve got all day, baby, ‘s no rush. Am tired.” 

He kisses your breasts tenderly, then rests his cheek against your chest - his favourite place to nap.

You huff. “Alright, just an hour though.”

Alex smiles and hums in agreement, and you smile too, allowing your eyes to close as you bask in the afterglow of your orgasm. You stroke Alex’s hair, holding his head close as the sound of your heartbeat lulls him to sleep. You aren’t far behind him, the warmth of your boyfriend draped over you and the comforting thought of the relaxing day ahead enough to send you to sleep in minutes.

Thanks for reading hope yous enjoyed tags: @martinipoliz @almluv @zayndrider @madnesstaking0ver@atticssmellgood@leafjoon @turnerside @turnertable @yourstartreatment

[p1astrisgirl]

@youresodarkbabe masterlist !

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

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⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[carefulignorantghost]

Sleepover

Prequel to “I Love You’s”

Alex comes to your house to spend the night. You watch Twilight together and see each other naked for the first time. You shower together.

Warnings: mentions of sex, nudity, showering together, mentions of sexual arousal, body image discussions, self-consciousness

It was a weekend and your parents were on holiday.

You were up in your room doing your science homework on the bed. Your textbooks and notes were sprawled over the covers. You were lying on your stomach, your feet clad in knee socks up in the air.

You heard your doorbell ring which made you jump.

You shuffled down the stairs, and through the hall.

You peeked through the door’s peephole.

Your boyfriend, Alex, was at your door. He was going to spend the night at your house for the first time.

You opened the door.

He stood with red roses in his hand and a carry-on in the other. He nervously swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

Alex looked at you, from your red Dr Martens, to your pleated grey plaid skirt, your white collared shirt, and your cardigan you stole from Alex’s closet.

“Hi.” Alex said, smiling shyly. He handed you the roses, and set his carry-on on the ground.

“Aww, Al, thank you so much.” You said as you hugged him tightly, before kissing him softly.

“Of course, love.” Alex quietly said, looking at you sweetly.

“Oh! Come in.” You said, gesturing to the open door. You guided him through the halls and into the kitchen.

“Do you want tea?” You asked, turning on the kettle. You placed the roses in a vase and filled it with water.

“Yes, please.” Alex said as he sat on one of the wooden chairs just outside your kitchen.

You made enough tea for both of you, pouring it in two mugs. You handed one to Al. “Here, Al.”

“Thank you.” He said, looking up at you from his mug as he sipped the tea.

“Wanna come up to my room?” You asked, tilting your head. Alex nearly spit out his tea, thinking you meant you guys were gonna have sex. Neither of you had been in a relationship before, let alone lost your virginity.

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that, but I’m not rejecting you. Like, the idea doesn’t bother me, as long as you want to do it too-“

“Love, it’s ok, you just caught me off guard.” He slightly giggled.

“Oh, ok.” You said, looking down nervously. What if you upset him and he just wasn’t telling you? You wanted to have sex with him, but what if he didn’t want that? What if he didn’t want to have sex with you?

Alex could tell you were overthinking. He embraced you in his arms, pulling you close to his chest.

“Hey, it’s ok. You didn’t upset me it all. I promise.” He said, detangling himself from you. He looked into your eyes and held out his pinky. You held out yours, and you both made a promise.

“When the time comes, it’ll come.” He said, kissing your head. The blood rushed to your face. So that meant he eventually wanted to have sex with you.

He grabbed your hand and lead you up the stairs.

“Which way?” He asked as he looked back at you.

“To the left.”

He walked you to the end of the hallway where your bedroom was. Alex loved your bedroom immediately. With its pale blue walls, filled with band posters, including posters of Alex’s band, Arctic Monkeys. His heart warmed at the sight.

“Oh, sorry. Let me put my homework away.” You said as you quickly put papers in folders, and the folders into your backpack.

“Ok, there.” You said, sitting on the bed. You beckoned Alex over with a gesture of your hand.

He sat down next to you and took your hand in his.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” You asked.

“Sure.”

You scrolled through Netflix on your phone, waiting for a movie to catch your eye.

“Ooh, what if we watch Twilight?”

“I’ve never seen it.” Alex said simply.

“What do you mean you’ve never seen Twilight?” You said, shocked.

He just shrugged. “Well, we’re gonna watch it.” You said lying down on the bed. Alex laid on the other side of the bed.

Alex made funny little remarks throughout the movie.

“Why are you moving to fucking Forks if you don’t want to? I swear to God.” He rolled his eyes.

“And you’re bringing that puny cactus?” He complained as you giggled.

“The fuck do you mean she’s your own personal brand of heroin?” He said disgustedly.

“You better hold on tight, spider monkey.” He whispered into your ear after the iconic line. You looked at him and giggled. Alex smiled and kissed you.

Once the movie was over, you asked him if he wanted to take a shower or anything.

“Love, feel free to reject the idea, but do you want to take a shower together? Obviously, you don’t have to and I can take one by myself.” He said, furrowing his brow nervously.

You thought for a second. “Ok.” You started to get worried about your appearance. “Al, you may not like what you see. I don’t have the body the media idealizes. So I get it if you don’t love what you see.” You said, looking down.

“No, love, don’t beat yourself up. You’re beautiful. I don’t care if you’re not the woman the media tries to create. You’re perfect. You’re exactly what I like and want, and especially need. So don’t feel self-conscious.” Alex said, hugging you. “You may not like what you see either. I’m fully aware that penises can be ugly. And you might think it’s small, which it may be.”

You smiled, “Thank you, Al. I’m sure it’s fine. And I love how you look. I love your messy hair, your brown eyes, your straight nose, your lips, your slim build, and everything else. Even the things I haven’t seen.” You said, holding him closer.

“Thank you, love. I appreciate that a lot.” He said, slowly pulling away.

“Do you wanna take a shower now? We can make hot chocolate after and watch the next Twilight movie, if you want.”

“Sure.”

You both stared at each other, waiting for one of you to make your move. Alex took his clothes off first, starting with his shirt. His chest had a little bit of hair in between his nipples. You also took off your shirt and jeans. You were left in your bra and panties. Alex stared at your body, looking up and down with wide eyes.” “Erm,” He coughed. “You look really good.”

Alex then unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans, leaving him in his boxers.

He looked down, staring up at you.

“Are you still ok?” He asked as he tugged the elastic of his boxers.

“Yes, you can go ahead.” You encouraged him.

Alex pulled down his boxers revealing his dick. It was maybe 5 inches soft. His balls were slightly hairy and his pubes weren’t trimmed. Yet he was perfect in your eyes.

You unclipped your bra, and pulled the straps down. Alex looked at your boobs and up at your eyes.

You pulled down your panties. Your pubes were also untrimmed.

You held one arm in your hand, your arm coming across your chest.

Alex stepped forward and hugged you. You felt his bare skin against yours. You felt so connected.

“You’re gorgeous, love.” He said into your ear.

“Aw, thank you, Al. You’re so handsome, too, my God.” You said pulling away as you looked him up and down.

Alex blushed shyly. You grabbed his hand and led him to the bathroom. You turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. “Is this water temperature ok for you?” You asked.

He tested it with his hand.

“Yeah, it feels perfect.”

The hot water was already steaming up the shower. You stepped onto the wet tiles with Alex stepping in behind you.

You started to wet your hair under the water. Then you let Alex do the same.

You grabbed the shampoo and massaged it into his hair. Alex’s eyes closed and he smiled contentedly. You both continued to wash each others’ hair and then each other’s bodies.

You took the body wash into your hands and rubbed it onto Alex’s shoulders, arms and chest. Alex rinsed off his penis, making himself half-hard. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry-“ He began before you interrupted him. “Al, it’s a natural reaction. Please don’t worry that I’m uncomfortable.” You kissed him on the cheek, tasting his sweat.

You washed his back, and his legs. “Do you want me to wash your bum, or you can do it…?” You asked.

“Um, I’d like it if you did it, if that’s ok?”

“Of course, Al.”

His butt was firm and shaped. It felt so good to put your hands on. Alex felt his penis becoming harder, but he just ignored it.

Alex washed your body once you finished. He asked for consent, to which you said yes, before massaging your boobs with the body wash. Alex held them in his hands and massaged them with his thumbs. He moved on to your arms, and your armpits. Then he washed your legs. Alex cupped your butt cheeks in his hands as he washed them. You were so turned on, but didn’t say anything.

You rinsed yourselves off one more time before turning the shower off. Alex stepped out first, grabbing the towels on the rack. He handed one to you. “Thank you.” You smiled gratefully.

“No problem.”

You dried yourselves and put your pajamas on. You walked down the stairs to the kitchen and made hot chocolate.

“I’m so glad you could come, Al.” You said as you sat down in the bay window with the cushioned seats.

“Me too. I love spending time with you, Y/N.” Alex kissed your temple.

You enjoyed each other’s company as you sipped on your hot chocolates. Silence never felt so comfortable.

[justallmyfantasies]

under these lights you look beautiful

are we dating? are we fucking? are we best friends? are we something in between that?

series masterlist

contains: 18+ smut! (teasing, fingering, unprotected piv, blowjob,

word count: 8.1k (i feel as if this is the longest thing i’ve ever written.)

alex was your friend, well best friend. you did everything together from first learning how to ride bikes to then getting your first job together at a coffee shop. both your parents knew you both wouldn’t concentrate working together but surprisingly they were wrong.

he invited you, his friend jamie and his other friend, matt to a party. this wasn’t his party, this was a party of a girl he had been crushing on for a few months.

he was determined to speak to her at this party, so he was hanging around her group for most of the night, looking like he was failing badly. you and the rest of your group silently laughing at him from afar. he was embarrassed.

eventually, he came walking back over. his shoulders slouching and his face miserable. “mate, she’s a psycho.” he sat back down, nicking your drink and chugging it all down.

“hey!” you protested. “that was my drink!” you playfully slapped his arm.

jamie turned back to the main conversation. “what did you say to her this time, man?” amused with his friends lack in the romantic category.

alex shrugged, his cheeks flaring up red in embarrassment. “i didn’t do anything, all i said was that she looked nice.”

you snorted, alex stared at you. you quickly changed your facial expression and started to fix your lipstick, trying to avoid his gaze.

you couldn’t help but say a snarky comment. “you seriously know how to charm the ladies, don’t you, al?” you smiled mockingly at him. al was a nickname all his friends used for him, he didn’t mind.

alex couldn’t help but smile at your comment, “piss off, you. you’re not any better than me.” he chuckled, playfully shoving you. “remember kyle?”

kyle was your ex boyfriend, well, would you even class him as that if you only dated him for 20 minutes?

you laughed, shoving him back. “okay yeah, i remember. and you’re right, i’m no better. but the difference is, you’ve had countless failures and i’ve only had one.” you paused, poking him in the arm. “so statistically that makes you worse.

he rolled his eyes at you. “statistically speaking, you’re a knobhead.”

"watch your mouth." you shot back, swatting his arm again, though you couldn't help but smile.

the party went on, you and alex spent most of the night chatting and laughing with your friends together. eventually the party was winding down.

you and alex were now walking home, he was drunk, but not crazy drunk, although his intoxicated state making him more bold made it seem so. you walked side by side, you kept your eye on him as he stumbled about.

the chilly night air made you shiver as you walked. alex noticed, but before he could say anything, he tripped on his feet and fell forward. he would’ve face planted the pavement if you hadn’t caught his arm and steadied him.

“you can barely walk without falling, you idiot.” you rolled your eyes, helping him stand up straight. “here, give me your arm.” he did what you said and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leaning on you slightly. you could feel his warm body press against yours as you walked.

you tried not to notice the heat that pooled in your stomach. you pushed that thought down deep inside of you, shaking your head to try and rid yourself of those thoughts. it was alex for god’s sake, he was your best friend.

alex chuckled, resting his head on your shoulder. “you’re a good friend, y’know that?” he slurred, his hot breath brushing against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

you swallowed, trying to ignore the way your heart rate sped up. “yeah, i know. and you’re a total mess when you’re drunk.” you teased, trying to act normal.

he laughed, his arm around you tightened a little bit. “maybe i should get drunk more often, then you’ll take care of me.” he joked, grinning at you.

you rolled your eyes, smiling to yourself. “shut up, you’re a handful as it is. i don’t need you being a drunk idiot on top of that.”

“oh come on, you love looking after me.” alex said, his words a bit mumbled. he was still leaning heavily against you for support as you both continued walking.

finally, you arrived at his house. his house was small but homely, you had been in there before as he wanted to show you some new tunes he had been working on. he was music obsessed.

you helped him walk up the front steps, supporting his weight as you led him to the door. he stumbled a bit, almost falling again, but you managed to catch him. you shook your head, a mixture of annoyance and concern. he really was a mess.

once he has managed to open the door, he leaned against the frame. “thanks for bringing me home.”

“no problem, just don’t expect this every time you go out and get shitfaced.” you retorted, “and tell penny i said hi.”

he chuckled, rolling his eyes. “yeah yeah.” he paused. “you could stay here, y’know. it’s late and i don’t want you walking back by yourself at this time. plus, me mum won’t mind.”

you thought for a moment. staying over at his place would be more convenient than walking all the way home. and he was right, it was late and you didn’t feel safe walking back alone at night.

“fine, i’ll stay.” you relented, pretending to sound reluctant.

“great, come on.” alex said excitedly, grabbing your hand and pulling you inside. he led you up to his bedroom, which was just like the rest of the house, nice and cosy.

he let go of your hand and stumbled over to his bed and flopped down onto it. he let out a satisfied sigh as he sunk into the mattress.

you stood awkwardly for a moment, not knowing what to do with yourself. alex suddenly patted the empty spot next to him. “come and lay down.”

you raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t refuse. you walked over to the bed and laid down next to him, trying to keep as much space between you as possible, which wasn’t easy in a single bed.

alex rolled over slightly, facing you. despite being slightly drunk, he looked at you intently. “me and the lads are playing a gig this weekend.” he murmured, a lazy smile on his face.

you turned your head to look at him. “oh yeah?” you replied, shifting a bit to get more comfortable. “where is it?”

“just somewhere ‘round the corner.” alex said, he suddenly smirked at you. “you should come.”

you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “yeah? why should i come?” you asked mockingly, though you would probably end up going anyways.

“because i want you there, you twat.” he replied, the alcohol making his words slur together. he suddenly poked you. “say you’ll come.”

you batted his hand away. “alright, alright. i’ll come then.” you relented, knowing you’d never be able to deal with his constant pleading if you didn’t accept.

he smiled. “good.” he mumbled, he suddenly moved a bit closer to you, his body now pressing against yours. “i’ll need someone in the audience to cheer for me.”

you could feel your breath catch in your throat, your body suddenly feeling warm. the space between you had shortened considerably and you couldn’t help but feel acutely aware of every place where your bodies touched. “don’t be so cocky, i might not cheer. i might just boo you instead.”

he laughed, the vibrations of his chest against yours sending a shiver down your spine. “nah, you’re gonna cheer for me. you like me too much.”

you could feel your heart pound in your chest at his words, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how his words affected you. you forced yourself to scoff. “yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

“i will.” he said matter-of-factly. he lifted his hand and gently touched your hair, playing with a strand. his fingers moved from your hair to your cheek, caressing your skin like some sort of treasured object.

you couldn’t suppress the shiver that went through your body at his touch. the air around you shifted, becoming thick and charged with tension. alex’s hand lingered on your face, the skin-contact making your pulse race.

“you’re blushing.” alex mumbled with a smirk, his hand still on your cheek. he suddenly looked thoughtful for a moment. “y’know, you’re pretty. it’s a wonder you don’t have some boyfriend drooling all over you.”

you gulped, your heart skipping a beat at his words. he was so close, you were nearly nose-to-nose. “oh shut up, you’re drunk. you don’t know what you’re saying.” you muttered, trying to cover up how flustered you felt.

alex chuckled, his hand moving from your cheek to your neck, his thumb drawing lazy patterns on the sensitive skin. “i do know what i’m saying.” he said, his voice lowered to a soft murmur. “you’re gorgeous, but you never see it.”

your brain was going into overdrive, the feeling of his fingers on your skin sending electric sparks through your body. you were having trouble forming coherent thoughts, but you tried to stay calm. “you’re drunk and you’re just saying nonsense. you don’t mean any of that.”

your eyes widened at the sudden change in position. your legs were straddling his waist, his hands resting on your hips. you were practically sitting in his lap.

“i do mean it, you know.” he said, looking up at you with something in his eyes you couldn’t quite recognise. his hands squeezed your hips, almost like he was trying to anchor himself.

your brain had short circuited from the way he was looking at you. there was a heat in his eyes that had your mind racing. you were too close to him, your thighs pressed against his waist, your chest almost touching his.

your heart was racing, and the butterflies in your stomach went wild. alex’s hands were on your hips, his fingers slipping underneath the hem of your shirt and gently caressing your skin. he was looking at you with a mixture of desire and something else you couldn’t quite identify.

“alex…” you breathed out, your voice low and shaky. you needed him to say something, anything. the way he was looking at you was going to drive you insane. one of his hands moved up your side, his thumb brushing against your ribcage. the feeling made a shiver run through your body.

“you look so pretty like this,” he said huskily, his eyes raking over your face. “on top of me, straddling my hips like you belong there.”

his words made your breath catch in your throat, your head spinning at his bluntness. you swallowed, trying to think of something to say. the heat of his body pressed against yours, his hands on your skin, was making it almost impossible to think straight.

you kissed him, that took alex by surprise. he froze for a moment, his eyes widening. but then, he responded, kissing you back with a fervor that caught you off guard.

his hands gripped your hips tightly, pulling you down so you were fully resting on top of him. his tongue slid into your mouth, coaxing and teasing you into a dance that left you breathless.

you gasped against his mouth as his tongue moved against yours, your hands coming up to grasp the material of his shirt. your brain was no longer functioning, all thoughts having been replaced by a burning need to be even closer to him.

alex groaned into the kiss, his own hands snaking underneath your shirt and roaming over your skin. the heat of his touch sent shockwaves through your body, making your head spin.

you moved your lips away from his mouth, trailing kisses down his jaw and to his neck. you latched onto the sensitive skin of his neck and sucked gently, the way he had done to you before. alex let out a guttural moan, his hands gripping your waist tightly. the sound made heat pool in your stomach, making you bite down on his neck.

he cursed under his breath, his hands moving to your back and pulling you down even closer. you could feel the hard planes of his body pressed against yours, the feeling was intoxicating. you continued to explore his neck with your mouth, nipping and licking at the flesh.

“god, you’re gonna kill me, doing that.” he groaned, his head falling back and giving you more access to his neck. one of his hands moved to your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands and tugging slightly.

you smirked against his skin, enjoying the way he was coming undone under your touch. you continued to explore the column of his neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nips along the way. alex’s breathing was getting erratic, his hips arching slightly, seeking friction.

you suddenly bit down on his neck, sucking the skin into your mouth and leaving behind a mark. this action caused alex to let out a strangled moan, your hands go straight to his mouth to cover it. his hands gripping your hips with an almost desperate force. the sound of his reaction sent a jolt of arousal straight through you, making you moan against his skin.

he suddenly flipped you over, switching positions so he was above you. his hands pinning your hips to the mattress, his eyes burning into yours. his gaze was dark and hungry, his lips slightly parted in an open pant.

the shift in position left you breathless, your brain unable to process the sudden change. your back pressed into the bed, alex’s body hovering over yours, pinning you in place. you could feel the heat radiating from him, his breathing ragged and his cheeks flushed with arousal.

his fingers moved to the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it over your head. alex paused for a moment, taking in the sight of you lying underneath him, now only in your bra and pants. he let out a low growl, his eyes roaming over your exposed skin.

“god, you’re beautiful.” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. his hands moved to your waist, his fingers dancing along the edge of your bra. he suddenly paused, his eyes meeting yours, as if asking for permission. you knew what he was asking, and you nodded, unable to speak. alex’s eyes darkened, his hands moving to the clasp of your bra and quickly unfastening it.

he pulled the garment away from you, leaving you exposed to his gaze. his eyes took in the sight of you, completely unguarded and vulnerable. you could see the way his breathing quickened, how his eyes dilated with desire.

your body was on fire, the feeling of his mouth on your skin making your head spin. your hands clenched the sheets, trying to find some sort of anchor. when his lips found one of your nipples, you let out a choked moan, he smirked against your skin, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud. you could feel the heat of his breath, the wetness of his mouth, like a brand on your skin. his hands continued to rove over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

you could feel his body pressing against yours, a slow grind that made your head spin. his mouth moved back up to your neck, sucking and biting at the skin in a way that had you writhing beneath him.

“alex please.” you gasped out, your voice breathy and desperate. “i need you. please.” you hated how needy you sounded, but you were too far gone to care. alex let out a growl against your neck, his hands gripping your hips tighter.

his mouth was back on yours, his kisses frantic and desperate. his tongue slid into your mouth, mimicking the movement of his body. you could feel the muscles of his back tense under your hands, the heat between you continuing to build.

his hand suddenly snaked down to your pants, undoing the button and slipping under the waistband. you arch against him as his fingers brush against your sensitive skin through the tin material of underwear.

he breaks the kiss, his breaths coming in ragged pants, “god, you’re so wet.” he murmurs, his words making you shiver. his fingers continue to explore, dancing over your sensitive flesh.

his touch is driving you wild, making it hard for you to think straight. your body is on fire, your thoughts consumed by him, by the sensations he’s creating. his lips find your neck again, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses and nips as he moves down your body.

you can feel your body responding to him, your hips moving to meet his touch. his fingers delve deeper into your heat, exploring and teasing, while his mouth continues its path down your body, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

he looks up at you, his eyes dark with hunger. he can see how far gone you are, how desperate you are for him. he moves back up your body, positioning himself between your legs, still fully clothed.

he leans down and captures your lips in a kiss, one hand coming up to cup your cheek while the other continues its exploration between your legs. you moan against his mouth, trying to communicate the need and desperation you feel.

his touches are maddening, drawing out every little sound from you while keeping you on the edge. one of his fingers circles your entrance, just teasing and not giving you what you want, he swallows your moan.

you can feel him hardening against you, the friction between you both almost painful. you need skin on skin, you need all of him, and you need it now. you break the kiss, pushing against his shoulder and flipping him over onto his back.

he lets out a surprised gasp, looking up at you with wide eyes. you straddle his hips, enjoying the fact that he’s now underneath you. you can see the way his chest is heaving, the way his pants are tented in the front. you move your hands slowly down his body, relishing the way he’s looking at you.

you slowly start to unbutton his shirt, your eyes never leaving his. the sight of his exposed skin has you salivating, you just want to touch and taste every inch of him. you slowly slide the shirt off his shoulders, revealing his toned chest and stomach.

your hands move to his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. you can feel the heat wafting off his body, the muscles in his thighs tensing. you slide the pants down his legs, leaving him in nothing but his boxers.

he looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of desire and awe. you can tell he’s surprised by this new side of you, but he’s clearly enjoying it. you lean down, letting your breath wash over his ear, “i want to taste you.” you whisper, your teeth gently nipping at the sensitive skin of his earlobe.

he shivers, a low moan escaping his throat. “please…” he manages to get out, his voice rough with need. your hands move up his chest, mapping out every contour of his body. you slowly move down, your lips following your hands in a trail of wet kisses along his neck and chest.

you take your time, savoring every little reaction you get from him. each twitch of a muscle, every gasp, everything. finally, you reach the waistband of his boxers. you look up at him, waiting for his consent.

his eyes are dark with lust, his chest heaving. he nods, a silent command to continue. you hook your fingers into the waistband and slowly pull them down, freeing him. you take in the sight of him, hard and leaking. your breaths start to quicken at the sight, your tongue unconsciously darting out to the tip of him. the shudder that goes through his body at the contact is everything. you flatten your tongue and slowly drag it up his length, collecting the bit of precum leaking from him.

his hands move to your hair, tangling in the strands and gripping tightly. he lets out guttural moan, his head falling back against the pillow. the sound is amazing, to have him this undone because of you, it’s overwhelming.

your own desires are growing more intense, the taste of him on your tongue making your mind spin. your hands flatten against his thighs, your nails digging into the the muscles of his thighs, and he lets out a hiss of surprise. his grip on your hair tightens, and you can feel his body tense. clearly, your nails are getting just the reaction you want.

you circle your tongue around his tip, teasing and tantalizing. you can hear his breath coming in sharp pants, and you can feel his body trembling under your touch. his hands move slightly, not sure if he wants to pull you away or pull you closer. his head tilts back, a string of curses falling from his lips. you can taste the saltiness of him on your tongue, and you’re intoxicated by it.

he’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted, and you can’t get enough. your mouth engulfs him, taking him in as deep as you can, wanting to bring him as much pleasure as possible. he lets out a strangled moan, his hands now gripping your hair desperately. he’s losing control, the sight filling you with a strange sense of power.

you continue your assault, your tongue swirling and sucking him with everything you have. his hips are arching up, his body writhing and shaking, overwhelmed by the sensations you’re creating. he’s getting close, you can tell. the sounds he’s making are absolutely sinful and they’re driving you wild.

the fact that you’re doing this to him, bringing him to the edge like this, it’s the most addictive thing you’ve ever experienced. his hands suddenly move, tugging at your hair, trying to pull you up.

“please… i need you, need to be inside you.” he gasps out, his voice ragged and pleading. the sound of him begging, the desperation in his voice, it’s almost too much to bear. you move up his body, your lips finding his in a passionate kiss.

your bodies press together, the skin-on-skin contact making your head spin. his hands are everywhere, roaming over your back, in your hair, trying to pull you closer. you can feel his heart racing, his breaths coming in short pants. you lift yourself up slightly, positioning yourself over him.

he looks up at you, his eyes burning with desire. “please…” he says again, his voice a low growl. you can feel his need, how badly he wants you. you slowly sink down on him, taking him in inch by inch. his hands instantly grab your hips, his fingers digging in to the the muscle.

the feeling of him stretching you, the way he fills you completely. it’s overwhelming, and it’s everything you’ve been wanting for a long time. you sit still, adjusting to the sensations, while he just holds on to you, his eyes closed, his breaths coming in uneven pants. it’s like you’re both taking in this moment, relishing the feeling of being together like this. but then, he rocks his hips slightly, a small movement that sparks fireworks in your body.

you let out a gasp, your body going taut. it’s a silent signal to continue, to move, and you oblige. you start to roll your hips slowly, getting used to the feeling of him inside you. his hands tighten around your hips, his nails digging into the flesh for a few seconds before releasing. he’s letting you set the pace, giving you the control. but you can tell by the way his muscles are tensing that he’s hanging on by a thread.

you start to move faster, the sounds of your mingled breaths and moans filling the room. with each movement, the heat between you is building, the tension growing tighter and tighter. his hands are roaming over your body, touching every bit of you he can reach.

he’s murmuring praises, words of how good you feel, how beautiful you look. it’s like he’s worshipping you, and it’s more intoxicating than any drug. you start to ride him in earnest now, the pace fast and needy. you can feel the heat building, the sensations overwhelming.

you lean down, your lips finding his in a messy, desperate kiss. his hands find their way to your hair, gripping tight, pulling you closer. the intensity is growing, your bodies moving together perfectly.

he breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your neck, mouthing and sucking at the skin there. “i’m close.” he gasps out, his breaths ragged and uneven. “i don’t know how much longer i can hold on.”

“look at me.” you say, your voice firm, demanding his attention. his eyes snap open, locking on yours. they’re burning with need, filled with a fire that you can’t resist. you cup his face in your hands, your eyes never leaving his. “i want to see you let go. i want to see you lose control.”

his eyes widen at the words, his brain processing your request. then, like a dam breaking, he lets go. his body tenses, his muscles straining. his hands grip you tighter, almost enough to leave marks. his eyes are locked with yours, and you see the moment he loses control.

his eyes roll back, his head falls back on the pillow, and a guttural moan tears from his throat. his release is intense, shuddering through his body in waves, his hands pulling you down against him as he rides the wave. watching him, feeling him beneath you, it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

it’s like seeing a god unraveling before you, and it’s so much more than you ever expected. you collapse on top of him, your body feeling weak and shaky. his arms wind around you, holding you tight against him.

his breathing is still coming in harsh pants, he’s trying to regain his composure, but is clearly having difficulty. you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his scent, relishing the familiarity of it. you can hear his heart hammering in his chest, so close to your ear.

you just lay there for a moment, wrapped up in each other. neither of you have the energy to move, and it feels like time has stopped. it’s like the world exists only in this moment, nothing else matters but each other. he brushes a hand down your back, a gentle, soothing gesture.

“i think you actually broke me.” he says after a while, his voice still rough and thick with emotion. you lift your head and look up at him. his hair is sticking up in all directions, his face flushed. he looks well and truly ruined, and the sight fills you with pride.

“good.” you reply, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

he lets out a weak laugh, his eyes full of affection. “i didn’t know you had it in you.” he says, his hand still stroking your back. you just shrug and rest your head on his chest.

his heart rate is finally slowing down, his breathing evening out. the two of you are silent for a few moments, just soaking up the afterglow. he lifts his hand from your back and starts running his fingertips over your skin, drawing invisible lines over your back, shoulders, arms. it’s soothing, almost lulling you to sleep.

but then, he speaks again, pulling you from your near-slumber. “can i ask you something?” he says, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. you lift your head and look up at him, seeing the hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

“if you want.” you reply, your voice gentle. you can tell he has something serious on his mind, and you want to hear what it is. he’s silent for a few long moments, his fingers still tracing patterns on your skin.

“what are we doing?” he finally asks, his voice quiet and a little guarded. “like, we’re best friends.. this isn’t normal, is it?” you’re surprised by the question, by the vulnerability in his tone. but you also know that it’s a conversation that needs to happen. you take a deep breath and think for a second before answering.

“normally, no, it isn’t.” you answer honestly. “friends don’t usually do what we just did.” you can feel his body tense slightly at your words, but you continue. “but to be fair, we’ve never been normal, have we?”

he lets out a small chuckle, the sound filled with both understanding and relief. you can tell he’s glad you agree with him, that he’s not the only one feeling a bit thrown off by the situation. he’s quiet for a moment, mulling over your words.

“so what does this mean for us?” he asks, his voice filled with uncertainty. “are we just friends who occasionally do this?” he gestures between the two of you. you can feel the question hanging in the air, heavy with implication.

you take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to explain everything you’re feeling. “i don’t know” you say truthfully. “i mean, obviously i care about you, more than just a friend. i don’t do this with just anyone.” you can feel him relax slightly, relief washing over his face at your admission. “but i don’t know if it’s a good idea to put a label on it right now.” you continue, trying to be as honest with him as possible. “i care about you a lot, and i don’t want to lose our friendship, but… i don’t want to mess things up either.” he nods, his head bumping against the pillow with the movement.

“i feel the same way.” he says, his voice quiet. “i don’t want to lose you, and i don’t want to mess this up either.” there’s a pause, the room filled with the sounds of your breathing.

the work is boring as usual, a slow day in a slow week. you’re manning the counter, your chin resting in your hand, bored out of your mind. alex is in the back, sorting through a box of new arrivals.

you let out a sigh, tapping your fingers against the counter. you swear it’s been hours, and there hasn’t been a single customer. you glance towards the back room, wondering what’s taking alex so long.

finally, you decide to go see what he’s up to. you push away from the counter and head into the back. you find him standing there, going through a box of records, his back to you.

“find anything good?” you ask, walking over to him. he jumps at the sound of your voice, clearly not expecting you. he turns around, a sheepish look on his face.

you can’t help but smile at the sight. even though he’s just doing mundane work, there’s something about him that’s always so endearing. you clear your throat, letting him know you’re there.

he jumps a little, clearly surprised by your presence. he looks up, a sheepish smile on his face. “ah, hey, uh nothing good.” he says, running a hand through his hair. “how’s the front desk?”

“boring as hell.” you reply, moving further into the room. “i swear it’s been hours, and we haven’t had a single customer.” you come to stand beside him, peering into the box of records.

he lets out a huff of agreement. “yeah, it’s been weirdly quiet today.” he rummages through a few more records. “i think we’re just gonna have to entertain ourselves.”

you raise an eyebrow, a sly smile spreading across your face. “and how do you propose we do that?” you ask, leaning your hip against the table.

he looks up at you, a similar smile spreading across his face. “hmm, i’m not sure yet.” he says, his eyes looking over at the janitors room then back at you.

you follow his gaze, a shiver of excitement running down your spine. “the janitors room?” you ask, your voice lowering. “what about front desk?”

he just shakes his head, a sly grin on his face. “i’m sure it’ll be fine. besides, lucy is out there.” he sets down the record in his hand and reaches out, grabbing your wrist and tugging you forward.

you let him lead you deeper into the back of the store, your heart rate picking up in anticipation. you’ve never done anything like this here, and the thought of it is making your body hum with excitement.

you reach the janitors room, the tiny space just big enough for two people. alex pulls you inside, shutting the door behind him. the room is small and dark, the only light coming from the cracks in the door.

he presses you against the back wall, his body trapping you in place. his eyes are burning bright, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. his hands are on your hips, his grip tight.

“you know we’re gonna get in trouble if anyone catches us.” you say, your voice barely a whisper. your body is already responding to his touch, growing eager and needy.

“i don’t care.” he replies, his voice low and rough. he leans in, his lips moving to your neck, mouthing at the sensitive skin there. his hands move to the hem of your shirt, slipping under the fabric, his palms hot against your skin.

you let out a gasp, your head falling back against the wall. your body is already reacting to his touch, heat pooling between your thighs. his mouth is making it hard to think, your mind becoming filled with a fog of desire.

he pushes you further against the wall, your body pressed fully against his. you can feel his erection against your hip, a hard reminder of his own desire. his lips move up your neck, his teeth biting down on your earlobe, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

his hands are roaming over your skin now, touching you everywhere he can reach. they move up your stomach, tracing the curves of your body, leaving behind a trail of heat. he grinds his hips against you, the friction making you moan softly.

“you have to be quiet, love.” his voice is hot against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. you nod feebly, trying to hold back another moan as he grinds against you again. his hands are moving higher now, slipping higher under your shirt.

he pushes your shirt up, exposing more of your skin to his roaming hands. his fingers find your bra, teasing the edge of the fabric. he lets out a soft huff against your neck as he toys with the fabric.

you arch into his touch, your body practically begging for more. he seems to get the message, one hand leaving your skin to fumble with the hooks of your bra. your breath is coming in short pants, the wait and anticipation almost too much to bear.

finally, he manages to undo the hooks, the bra falling loose around your shoulders. his hand is warm against your skin, palming your breast, his fingers tweaking your nipple. you let out a moan, biting down on your lip to try and keep yourself quiet.

his lips are back on your neck, his tongue tracing patterns against your skin. you can feel him shifting slightly, his other hand undoing the buttons of your jeans. his hand slips under the waistband of your jeans, his fingers rubbing against your panties. you can feel how soaked you are, the fabric already clinging to you.

another moan spills from your lips, the sounds of your ragged breathing filling the small room. alex presses his lips to your neck in a silent warning, telling you to keep your voice down. but it’s hard, almost impossible, when he’s touching you like this, when your body is buzzing with desire. his fingers are tracing patterns over your panties now, adding to the growing tension. your nails dig into his back, desperate for something to anchor yourself to.

he let out a low groan, biting down on your shoulder. he clearly likes the way you’re clinging to him, the sounds you’re making, because he’s pressing you harder against the wall, his body pinning you in place.

his fingers finally push your panties aside, his touch making you whine, the sound only muffled by the skin of his shoulder. “fuck,” you gasp out, your voice pleading. “please.”

you can feel his smile against your skin, clearly enjoying how needy he’s making you. but the smugness only lasts a second before he obliges, his fingers slipping into your wetness, making you bite down on his shoulder again.

you’re trying so hard to keep yourself quiet but it’s difficult, his fingers are doing things to you, making you feel things that are hard to restrain. his movements are firm and sure, clearly intending to take you apart, to push you right to the edge. the room is small and dark, filled with the sounds of your combined ragged breathing and the rustle of clothing against skin.

his fingers are working you now, his mouth back on your neck, sucking and biting at the skin, leaving behind marks that you’ll have to hide later. your hands are fisted in his shirt, your nails digging into the fabric. it’s all becoming too much, the pleasure building and building, but just out of reach.

“please,” you gasp out again, your voice desperate. “I need you, please.” your body is taut, practically trembling with tension. you’re so close to the edge, but you just need that last little push.

alex lifts his head from your neck, his eyes meeting yours. they’re dark and intense, filled with a desire that matches your own. his voice is thick when he speaks, his body clearly also affected. he withdrew his hand from you, placing them onto his belt and undoing it.

your eyes follow his movements, watching as he quickly undoes his pants. you’re eager and impatient, wanting him as close as possible. he pushes the fabric down his hips, freeing himself, and you reach for him, your hands gripping his shoulders.

he spins you around, pressing your front against the wall. you can feel the coldness of the concrete against your skin, a stark contrast to his warmth. his hands are on your hips again, his body pressed flush against yours.

his lips are at your ear again, his voice ragged. “do you want me?” he asks, the question a mix of teasing and genuine need. you arch against him, pushing your hips back against his.

“yes.” you gasp out, your voice filled with want. “yes, please, I need you.” your body is buzzing with anticipation, desperate for more.

he lets out a low growl at your admission, his hands gripping your hips tighter. “good, because I need you too.” he says, his voice rough with desire. he pushes himself against you, his chest pressed against your back.

you can feel his hardness rubbing against your backside, the friction making you whine. your own body is practically begging for him, your muscles quivering with need.

he shifts slightly, his hand moving to your thigh, lifting your leg up. he lifts it, hooking your shoe to the edge of the counter. this new angle makes you whimper, your body now open and exposed.

he pauses for a moment, his hand ghosting over your inner thigh, his touch light yet electrifying. “you okay?” he asks, his voice quiet but hoarse. you can only nod, your body practically vibrating with anticipation.

he clearly takes your nod as an okay, because suddenly, he’s pressing himself against you, his hips fitting perfectly against yours. you let out a gasp, your skin feeling electric, your hands gripping the edge of the counter.

his arms wrap around your middle, holding you in place, his lips at your ear again. “you’re so tight, so perfect” his voice is a low rumble, his words making you shiver. one of his hands moves up your torso, his fingers teasing your skin.

his touch feels maddening, your nerve endings firing in response. you push back against him, trying to get as much contact as possible, your body craving more. he lets out another low growl, his hips moving faster now, the rhythm picking up.

his hand moves higher, his fingers ghosting over your breast, his touch just a tease. it’s driving you insane, the way he’s touching you, his pace and the angle he has you at, it’s all slowly driving you towards the edge.

you can feel him everywhere, his hands on your skin, his body against yours, his breath hot against your ear. with each thrust he’s pushing you closer and closer to the edge, each movement making you gasp and whimper.

“please” you find yourself whispering, your voice needy and desperate. “please, harder.” your body is screaming for more, the pleasure becoming nearly overwhelming. alex’s response is immediate, his grip on you tightening, his movements becoming relentless. you’re being pushed against the wall, your feet just barely able to stay on the ground as he moves behind you. his body is pressed against yours, his chest against your back, his breath coming in short pants against your ear.

“you feel so good.” he gasps out, his voice broken with need. “i’m so close, i’m..” the rest of the words are lost as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

you can feel his pace becoming erratic, his movements becoming less coordinated. he’s close, you can tell, and that thought alone pushes you closer to the edge as well. his hands are gripping your hips now, holding you in place.

you arch against him, the sensation almost too much to bear. the room feels hot and cramped, your sweat mixing with his as you cling to each other. you’re so close, your breath coming in short pants, your muscles taut with tension.

“please.” you gasp out again, your voice broken and needy. “please, i need.. fuck.” your words are cut off as another moan slips past your lips, the pleasure building and building until it’s almost unbearable.

his movements become more frantic, his hips moving harder and faster, his breathing ragged. you can tell he’s close, the way his body is tensing, the way he’s gripping you tighter. it’s enough to send you over the edge, your body jerking as pleasure rushes through you, a wave of heat and ecstasy that makes your vision go white.

alex lets out another groan, his body stilling against yours as he reaches his own climax, his breath hot against your skin. you both collapse against the wall, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. your body feels heavy and shaky, your legs barely able to support you.

alex’s arms are still around you, his body pressed against yours. he’s still breathing heavily, his forehead resting against your shoulder. for a moment you both just stand there, basking in the afterglow, the only sound your ragged breaths.

“well.” alex finally says, his voice slightly hoarse. “that was…” he doesn’t finish the sentence, but you can feel his grin against your skin. you let out a shaky laugh, your body still trembling slightly.

“yeah.” you agree, the word coming out as a sigh.

alex lets out a huff of agreement, his hands gently stroking your hips. “we should probably clean up.” he murmurs, kissing the skin of your shoulder softly.

you nod and slowly push yourself off the wall, your legs feeling shaky and weak. alex steps back, giving you room to turn around and grab some paper towels. your hands are still shaking slightly as you clean yourself up, but you can still feel the afterglow buzzing beneath your skin.

“god.” alex says, his voice still low and ragged. “i’m never going to look at this room the same way again.” you glance over at him, and he’s standing there with his pants undone, his shirt wrinkled, and a satisfied smirk on his face.

you can’t help but laugh, the absurdity of how disheveled you both are hitting you. “well, we can add ‘janitor’s room’ to the list of places we’ve… uh, defiled.”

alex actually snorts at that, his grin widening. “oh yeah? what other places are on that list?” he asks, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

you were about to reply when somebody knocked on the door. both you and alex freeze instantly, the knocking interrupting the peaceful afterglow. alex curses under his breath, quickly doing up his pants.

you shove the used paper into a nearby trash can, quickly checking your clothes to make sure nothing is obviously out of place. the knocking comes again, more insistent this time.

“just a second!” alex calls out, his voice sounding deceptively casual. he glances over at you, raising an eyebrow in a silent question.

you give him an affirmative nod, smoothing down your hair one last time. you’re both presentable, as long as whoever is on the other side of the door doesn’t look too closely. alex reaches out, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door and opening it a crack. you hold your breath as you hear a familiar voice.

“there you are!” lucy’s voice filters through the crack in the door, and you can just barely catch a glimpse of her blonde hair. you can’t see her expression, but she sounds slightly annoyed.

“uh, hey!” alex says, his voice coming out a bit too cheerful. he’s covering for you both well enough, and you’re not sure whether to be impressed or concerned.

“what’re you doing in there?” lucy asks, and there’s definitely a note of suspicion in her voice now. she tries to peer around him, but he quickly steps forward, blocking her view.

“oh, uh, i was just… looking for something.” alex replies, his voice slightly strained. he’s desperately trying to sound nonchalant, but you can hear the slight edge of panic in his tone.

“like what?” lucy asks, her voice growing more curious now. you’re almost afraid she’s going to push the door open and catch you both in the act.

“uh, my phone!” alex says, his voice taking on a falsely positive tone. “i thought i lost it in here.” he holds up his hand, showing the phone clutched in his grip.

there’s a pause on the other end of the door, and you can practically feel lucy’s skepticism through the wood. finally, after what feels like an eternity, she speaks again. “alright. come back out now. we’ve got customers.”

“be right there!” alex calls out. he waits for a moment, probably listening to make sure lucy has walked away, before he closes the door and turns back to you. he groans, running a hand through his hair.

“that was close.” he mutters, and you can see the tension in his shoulders. he’s trying to hide it, but he’s clearly shaken up by the near-miss.

“yeah” you agree, your voice coming out a bit breathless. “too close.” you can still feel the lingering adrenaline from the near-miss, mixed with the heady afterglow from before.

alex lets out a sigh, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “guess we should get back out there.” he says reluctantly. he takes a step closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek softly. “you okay?”

you lean into his touch, relishing the feel of his skin against yours. “yeah, i’m fine.” you tell him, giving him a small smile. his concern is warming, and you can see the worry in his eyes.

“good.” he replies, his voice low and soft. he brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, his gaze studying your face. his touch is gentle, almost reverent, and it makes your heart skip a beat.

he leans down, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “i better get back out there.” he murmurs against your skin. “you follow in a bit. try to look a bit less… disheveled.”

you huff out a laugh, knowing he’s right. “okay” you tell him, letting go of his hand. “i’ll be out soon.” alex nods in acknowledgement, giving you one last lingering look before he opens the door and steps out, closing it quietly behind him. you’re alone now, the silence of the room surrounding you.

was it this normal to catch feelings for your best friend?

[junedenim]

it's three in the morning

for the long haul

warnings: piv, eating, pregnancy piv, mild dad!alex, and probably some other stuff too

word count: 8.8k

There was an attitude when you first met that you each would hold a sense of permanence in each other's lives. It wasn't completely romantic at first. You and Alex met through a series of shared friends.

This was 2013 and you were both otherwise occupied with separate relationships. His was longer and much more stable. Yours was a short passionate fury that ended by early 2014. Coincidentally, as did his.

But still, it wasn't a direct rebound. He was touring and when the band stopped in New York—your home at the time—you stuck around at the after-party with Alex. Nothing much happened there other than a questionable conversation three rounds in.

"It's all speeding up," he said. It was drunk talk and you weren't paying attention to the idea he had spoken before it but you tried your best to follow after. His body came closer and huddled so close to yours, which was excusable in the February chill, but debatable with the indoor heating.

He slung an arm over your shoulder and, with great camaraderie, you slid your arm behind his back; a "friendly" side hug. "Time is weird," you said.

Alex looked at you. His eyes were alcohol-glazy but his soul was bursting to say something. You could both feel the unsaid left lingering and his head moved forward at one point as if he were going to kiss you but it was then decided he would hesitate on that front.

He chuckled through his nose as if some joke had been made before turning his head to look at the buzzing partiers. He nodded at something and you weren't sure if it was related to your statement or not. You took another sip of your vodka Coke and he said, "Timing is everything."

He slipped away from you after that and it's possible he slept with someone else that night but you aren't sure. You don't even know if he would remember. He slept with a lot of people in 2014. It was a messy time.

Later in the year, toward the end of July, he called you from Iowa. Despite the hour, somewhere in the early morning, neither of you was drunk. Alex's sleep schedule had little idea of the concept of time with the mad case of severe jet lag he could be diagnosed with and you, well, you were asleep but you acted like it was normal for him to wake you up at 3 AM.

"Where in Iowa are you from?" He asked. Neither of you had really gotten to know one another. Not those small details. You knew he was from Sheffield but you don't know what college he went to or his parents' names or if he's ever broken a bone. Your relationship had never been built on knowing each other. It was always just about feeling each other. You had always gotten on well, never fought, always laughed, slung arms around one another, and thought about the maybes.

"Why do you ask?" You laughed at the idea of him calling you in the dead of night, sitting outside his tour bus, smoking a cigarette, talking about your tiny hometown.

"We're playing there tomorrow. Council Bluffs or something. You're the only person I know from Iowa." You told him that the first night you met and he latched onto it like it was some lie you told to impress people because people are usually so impressed with the concept of being a Hawkeye. Although, he never got more information about it. He didn't know that you grew up on a corn farm and you learned how to drive your dad's truck at 9 years old.

You scoffed, "Council Bluffs. You might as well just be in Nebraska."

He chuckled. "Sorry. I'll plan it out better for you next time."

"I'm from Beaman. It's close to the center. Very small town," you told him. "But there's a library and a basketball court that becomes an ice skating rink in the winter. It was dull but I liked it."

"Sounds like a nice place to grow up." You shrugged, not that he'd be able to see it. An air of silence hung over the conversation and you're not sure if he was waiting for you to say something in return. And then he suddenly said, "I've been thinking about you. Not just in Iowa."

You weren't sure what that meant. He was still so new to you and a one-on-one phone call had never been done before. You couldn't yet tell what he was trying to convey through the tone of his voice if this was some playful thing, a joke or something serious, a flirtation. "Why?" You questioned.

It was silent and you imagined him shrugging but you'd never know for sure if he did or not. Eventually, he answered, "Guess I just missed you. Is that allowed?" It was rolled in humour and tucked in a laugh so you took it as a joking sweetness. Some sense of sincerity lingered but it wasn't packed with desperation.

So, you told him you missed him too and hopefully you'd hang out again soon. The conversation ended and soon wasn't around the corner. You kept in touch, by text and through friends, but he didn't return from the road until November and you weren't yet one of the people he would hang out with as soon as he was back, especially since you were in New York and he was in LA when he wasn't on the other side of the pond.

But then you moved to LA, right at the beginning of 2015. Truthfully, it was for your boyfriend. It was an awful idea and you knew it. You had only been dating the guy for a few months and retrospectively it was never serious but in the moment fantasy and blurred visions came to mind and they took the wheel from you. Besides, you had a career that you could do anywhere, most of your friends were in LA, and there was, of course, Alex.

At a shared friend's birthday party, you saw Alex again through a barrier of smoke. Your boyfriend was off in the bathroom and Alex was pushing himself off the wall with a drunken stumble and throwing his arms around you.

"Huck told me you'd be here. Told me you're out in LA. How come you didn't tell me?" His words were rolling out of him quickly with little care where they ended up.

You did your best to reciprocate the hug and follow his sloppy manner as he leaned back against the wall. You stirred your gin & tonic with the flick of your wrist, still sober having just arrived. "It's all been hectic. We're just starting to settle out here."

His eyes drifted away, looking behind you, and when the cold hand touched your back you realized what he was looking at. "Yeah, well, once you are, we should get together or something. Alex, by the way." He waved to your boyfriend, staying against the wall this time. He looked like he was having trouble keeping his eyes open but his speech was clear with no slurring sounded.

You put your arm around your boyfriend's back, returning his hold. "I'd like that. We'll probably have some housewarming party at some point so..."

Alex hummed his acknowledgment like words were becoming too much work. He brought the spliff to his lips and the smell of marijuana began to give you a headache and a craving at the same time. Someone tapped him on the shoulder, pulling him away from you. It took a moment of staring before you moved to find residency on the couch, but more lingered in the air than just the smell of weed. Uncertainty persisted.

A month later, the house had been settled and a housewarming party occurred but Alex didn't attend. He had said he was out of town but you're not sure where out of town. It didn't matter much. You didn't live in that house for very long.

It would seem like fate stepped in at some point or a mere happenstance that the night you and your boyfriend broke up everyone in the world seemed to be busy. Friends were away for the weekend or had guests staying with them or simply didn't pick up their phones at 2 AM. But Alex did.

When you arrived at his house, he was peculiarly waiting in his driveway. His hands were on his hips and his head cocked in a way that some might interpret as pissed but you knew it was just his resting position.

Your unaffected nature could also be misinterpreted. You didn't feel the urge to cry, and though you were upset at the demise of a loving relationship, it didn't provoke your tear ducts and you remained indifferent.

After exiting your car, he asked, "Are you okay?"

And it was easy to nod and answer, "Truthfully, yes." It's probably easier to feel this way when you are the one who initiated the break-up.

It's also easy to feel that way when instead of going to bed you're accompanied by Alex and drinks. No rejection was involved when downing a bottle of hard liquor, especially when Alex seemed to have it stockpiled. You both operated better drunk, which could have been alarming to an outsider, but for you and Alex it was understandable. It wasn't used as coping, each other was used for that. The alcohol was just an additional treat.

"It's hard to not feel like I'm wasting away my youth," you told him, leaning your head on the back of the couch.

He was on the opposite end, cigarette stuck in his mouth as he spoke, "You're still young."

"Not forever," you lamented. "I guess that's the thing. I'm not particularly pissed it's over. I think I did us both a favour but I'm pissed about running out of time for these things. I mean, I moved across the country for this guy. I used to have fun with guys! Now I'm just following them places and desperately trying to play the role of wife. Like, who am I?"

Alex openly laughed in response.

You giggled in return, "Don't laugh at me."

He shook his head, removing smoke and cigarette from his lips. "I think you're getting worked up over nothing."

"Maybe." You shrugged. "But I don't think so. I don't know what I'm saying. Wait, yes, I do." Alex laughed again. "I'm saying I want to have fun again."

"Right." He nods.

His eyes locked with yours and once his cigarette was stubbed out and the bottle you had been clutching was placed down on the coffee table, his lips then locked with yours. It was harsh and rough like every drunk kiss that had occurred before in history.

It must have been around 4 AM at this point and everything felt hungry. Like this was—he was—your midnight snack. This is when desperation occurs. The quick need for satisfaction with no care about the journey to get there.

Alex's arms clutched around your lower back up to your shoulder blades, pulling you on top of him. Her hands grasped around the endpoints of his sharp jaw making it impossible to be stuck in a heated makeout. You straddled him but it was hard (in two ways) to not feel frustrated quickly.

You reached down, swiping your hands along his chest, and landing on the button of his jeans. Everything must come undone and he understood that perfectly. You didn't even bother to pull his zipper down, instead reaching your hand into his underwear and letting the force drag the zipper apart.

He pulled your hand out just so you could get your top off of you and while your arms were up in the air, you grind on him and soft moans escaped, swallowing it up when your lips reunited. He was a master at unclasping a bra and had easy access to your pussy through your small skirt made up of flowy material.

Your hand made small movements around his cock and his fingers grazed through your folds and he seemed to want to do a version of shared masturbation but you ached for something stronger. You lifted yourself off of him to remove your skirt and panties. He shuffled just enough to kick his jeans and underwear off the bottom of his feet. You finished reaching nudity at the same time.

Alex didn't allow you to straddle him again, pushing you onto your back as he took off his shirt. His nude body hovered over you and the back of your head hit the arm of the couch. You curled your legs around him, pushing his hips toward yours. Everything is non-verbal, all performed through signs. You've always been on the same wavelength and it feels like words would have ruined this and made this all seem questionable.

He quit the foreplay of kissing your neck and pinching your breasts and became rough like this is what you wanted, now shut up and take it. He was in you and on top of you and it's exactly what you wanted: fun. He could be described as a pleasurable jackhammer as he moved in and out of you. Everything was hard and skin was slapping but you're both moaning and none of it was silent whimpers. It was shouts of "Fuck!" and "Harder!" and "Holy shit!" and "Right there!"

It's all responded to correctly. You nipped at his neck and toward the end, he reached down to rub your clit. It's all masterfully done on both of your parts. Your walls clenched around his dick and he stretched you open to a degree that has you grasping at the couch cushions until you've come. Then, he pulled out of you, letting it all go, straight onto your stomach.

Exhaustion and complete silence fell. Alex laid back on his side of the couch, panting. A few breaths passed before he rose and grabbed a rag from the kitchen, wiping his cum off you.

"Is that your cum towel?" You joked.

His face broke a smirk and he nodded. A question hung in the air of what to do next, stuck in the middle of his hot living room. He towered over you as you sat up, slowly adjusting. He folded the rag up in his hand and then asked, "You wanna use it again?"

Laughter erupted from you but you did end up using it again the next time in his bedroom, which allowed comfort and greater sensuality. It was less rushed but left you both exhausted by the end of it. You slept like rag dolls, limbs hanging over one another, and powerful sleep.

In the morning (or afternoon, you're unsure), with your bodies connected, you both awoke around the same time, blinking away sleep and finding his eyes doing the same. Your unsaid nature returned and you weren't sure if you should even leave the bed or if you should be racing out the front door.

"Thanks for letting me stay," you whispered with tired vocal chords.

He shuffled closer, sheets rustling, and licking away sleep. "Course," he croaked. "You could stay forever."

It might have meant more, especially after fucking each other, but it felt more like a favour than a request. You ate breakfast together before you left, no goodbye kisses, and he said goodbye at the door instead of walking you to your car. Two weeks later, he joined you and a group of friends for drinks where you shared light small talk and he bought a round. You left for New York two days later with no acknowledgment of anything more. It just was what it was and neither of you was hurt by that, but both of you still felt longing for it to be otherwise.

In the heat of summer, you visited LA and met up with Alex for dinner. The LA visit was more for business but you decided to sort out the personal while you're there. His hair was longer, cut around the ears, no longer greased back. It's a reminder of that morning when everything was thrown about without care. He was dressed in a white button-down that was unbuttoned enough to have a clear view of the chain that hung around his neck and his seductiveness was so clear you have a hard time believing he didn't know exactly how this night was going to end.

There was small talk but Alex was quick to cut through the bullshit and get to the heart of things. "We've never had dinner together before," he said. "Not just the two of us." A smirk played on his face and lewd images flashed in your mind.

You sipped your wine as a coping mechanism and leaned back in your chair. You needed to be far from him, at least for now. Playing it cool was the main goal. "Are you telling me you don't want to hang out with me?"

"Oh, I want to hang out with you but I was thinking of something much different."

Intentions were clear and things were laid out on the table so when he invited you back to his house for drinks, you had no issue with him stopping in an abandoned parking lot so you could fuck each other.

Because fucking was easy and you always felt things together instead of knowing things together. So, when he takes you in the backseat, confined, and hot & heavy, it feels romantic for something usually so drenched in the word "dirty."

The leather seats stick against your sweaty back while he undoes his belt and then his trousers before sliding your underwear aside and going into you. The AC is blasting but you don't feel it and there's a lightheaded feeling likely from wine and dehydration but you blame the way his cock hits that spot in you.

The rest of the drive isn't awkward and that's when things started to feel different. It became clear that the sense of permanence with one another wasn't a platonic coincidence of sharing friends but something much more loving. You laughed that his car radio was stuck on the sports channel and made fun of the baseball announcers shouting over the Dodgers losing to the Phillies.

Before this shift, you expected to continue your intense rush to instant passion; fucking in the hallway, fucking in the living room, fucking in the kitchen, fucking on the bathroom floor, fucking in the shower, fucking in his bed, fucking against a wall, fucking on the washing machine, fucking on the ceiling if you could. Instead, you watched the rest of the Dodgers v. Phillies game, despite knowing little about baseball and Alex's knowledge reliant on Bad News Bears and high school phys ed.

Besides, little attention was paid to the game itself. He drank a beer and made you a vodka Coke and baseball is boring and Alex had suddenly become everything.

"There's a reason baseball is America's pastime," you commented. "Who the fuck wants to sit and watch this all day?"

Alex shrugged, a smile playing on his cheeks. "It's fun when they get a home run."

"It's fun when I get a strike in bowling, doesn't mean everyone wants to sit and watch me," I struck back.

He chuckled, wiping his beer lip. "You like bowling?"

"Yeah. My dad used to set up empty cans and have us play. The nearest bowling alley was 45 minutes away so we went there on special occasions."

Alex smiled, completely charmed, and that's when you started knowing each other. Later, you walked to his bedroom and had sex and while it was passionate, it had lost its spontaneity quality, which didn't lessen it, instead changing it into something new.

The following morning, you took his old words of "stay forever" to heart and never left LA. Your return move to LA was mocked by your friends for your coming-and-going nature and moving everything all over again was a pain in the ass but Alex flew to New York and helped pack your things. When you moved into your new place, Alex helped you unpack and helped "Christen the place," as he put it by going down on you on those marble kitchen counters.

Separate places felt ideal not to rush things, but soon it seemed wasteful as most nights were spent at Alex's. You weren't a big fan of your new place in comparison to Alex'ss, which wasn't shocking. Alex had a pool for Christ's sake.

Although, it still felt like the best fit. You didn't like how much Alex smoked and Alex didn't like how messy you were. While technically not living together, you fought over these things like you did.

Smoking usually went:

"It's my house. I can do it however much I want to!"

"You're going to ruin the house by smoking inside it!"

"I paid for it!"

"You're killing yourself!"

"It's my lungs!"

"I'm gonna die from secondhand smoking!"

Messiness usually went:

"You can't come over and trash my house!"

"It's barely anything! If you let me have a drawer this wouldn't be a problem!"

"It's not just your clothes! You leave dirty dishes everywhere!"

"I get to it eventually!"

"So do the rats!"

But all and all, it always ended relatively positively. Alex took to smoking on his balcony more and you would join him from time to time. You didn't really clean up more, but Alex did give you a top drawer in his dresser.

At the beginning of December, you both attended a Christmas party, where you and Alex wore a Santa hat you bought at Party City because neither of you owned anything festive. However, everyone at the party considered it to make you the cutest couple there. You both thought it was rather cheesy but you leaned into the cliche of it and got drunk off eggnog and roleplayed Mr. & Mrs. Claus at the party until it verged on too creepy.

Over a shared cup of eggnog, Alex asked you, "You want to come to Sheffield?"

Meeting the parents had never been discussed. It was easy when his parents lived in another country and your parents were scared of planes. Though excitement and nerves bubbled, you answered, "Sure" before taking a sip.

He chuckled, now accustomed to what your reactions meant. "We could do Christmas there."

You said, "Sure" and sipped the eggnog again because it helped fight against those nerves in your stomach.

Alex chucked again because he was charmed, now completely lost in you.

Christmas in Sheffield was cold. It rained heavily the whole time you were there. You and Alex only braved walking around town once on the 23rd when the rain had stopped momentarily. The city centre was time for sightseeing all his old haunts. You walked arm-in-arm with Alex in an effort to combat the cold but still keep your hands in your coat pockets.

You got a half hour in before it started pouring rain and you were left feeling like idiots for not bringing an umbrella with you. The car was far away and you both debated ducking into a bookstore but you were both already too soaked and cold and decided just to head back to the car. He grabbed your hand, leading the way, as you raced through the unbearably cold beating rain.

On the way back to his childhood home, the rain had increased even more making it nearly impossible for Alex to see properly while driving. "This is how you end up killing someone," you said.

Alex put his hand on your shoulder but kept his eyes steady on the road. "Relax. I know how to drive."

You removed his hand from your shoulder and placed it back on the wheel. "Then, keep both hands at 10 and 2," you ordered.

He laughed and reached over to kiss your cheek and while the affection made you gain a cavity, your nerves bubbled up as you pushed him away. "Eyes on the road, mister!"

You both made it back unscathed, minus your socks, which had been soaked through. The house was warm and the smell of dinner wafted through the air. The house was quiet other than the pattering of rain and some jazz record his dad had put on. It felt like coming home.

Christmas dinner, however, was hectic. You drove out to his grandparents' place and the quiet 4-person car ride led to a fistful of screaming grandchildren and uncles whose laughs broke the sound barrier.

It had you turning to him. "This is your family?"

"Yeah. Hard to believe, right?" The calmness of Alex must come from his mum's side of the family.

Once dinner was served, the noise level calmed down as people stuffed their faces and they wished to show a great impression to their American guest of honour. The questions were light and it was clear that you weren't the first American girl Alex had brought home but everyone was welcoming and Alex placed a reassuring arm on the back of your chair. He would occasionally lift his hand and play with the longest strands of your hair, bouncing the curls you had made that morning.

Later, while the young kids played with the toys they had just received as gifts, Alex and you drank tea together. It was a warm distance for the fast nights of Los Angeles. You leaned close to Alex on the settee so he could hear your words. "I like Sheffield a lot."

He turned his head away from watching the kids, meeting your eyes. A smile crept to his lips. "Good." His hand smoothed down your sweater-covered arm. "I'm happy you're happy."

That in turn made you smile. "I like this quietness. You know, of the city, not this house."

Alex chuckled and pushed the front hanging pieces of hair behind your shoulder, eyes sculpting over your body. "It's nice to come back. Feels like a reset."

You took your fancy tea cup off your fancy tea plate and took a sip, feeling like a proper English lady. "You should come to Beaman. You'll probably hate it but it's like no one else in the world exists out there."

He hummed, staring softly at you. His eyes made the ice in you melt. "If you love it, I'll love it," he promised.

"It'll just be you, me, and the chickens," you giggled.

Alex grinned, skimming his thumb over your cheekbone. "Hm. I love you."

It caught all the air in the room and it suddenly didn't feel as cold as it did a minute before. You inched closer to him and smiled because he was smiling. "You've never told me that before, you know."

He furrows his brows, playing up his acting. "I haven't?"

"Actually, you told me when you were drunk once. Back in October, at that Halloween party."

He squints seriously this time. "I don't remember this."

You coyly smile. "I know. It was when Miles and me were carrying you inside and I couldn't figure out if you were saying it to me or him."

He leaned forward, his arm pulling you toward him as he laughed in your ear before kissing your cheek. "You. Always you."

"Good." You clapped your hands. "I'll hang this over Miles's head for decades."

That night, Alex fell asleep quickly, allowing you to realize something. You nudged him awake, making him groan. "What?"

You curled your arm around him. "Nothing. I'm sorry I woke you."

His arms moved around your waist, laying you on top of him. His eyes stayed shut, not wanting to lose his sleepiness. "It's alright," he mumbled. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." You leaned into his ear, whispering, "Love you."

A grin spread across his lips, enticing you to lean over and kiss the corner of it. He hummed. "Love you too. Night."

The following year, Alex went away on tour. You stayed, he went, but it never felt like it placed a strain on the relationship. There was longing and missing but never any resentment and as Alex would put it, "It always makes for great reunion sex."

You briefly joined them in August when they played California: Santa Ana, San Diego, and Outside Lands in San Francisco. They were all one after the next and left you exhausted and though Alex was much more well-adjusted to the pace of touring, it was reaching the tail end and he struggled with the comedown on it all.

Those were the only times you grew frustrated with one another. You never really yelled or fought—maybe because you didn't want to or maybe because you were in close quarters with other people—although, you had tiffs.

Much like your annoyances at home, traveling or touring only amplified what truly annoyed you about each other but in a way—a super corny, cheesy way—you loved Alex even more for that.

"I like that you're not perfect," you said late to him one night. He was smoking a cigarette and though the weather was hot, there was a nighttime breeze that settled over the two of you.

"Gee, thanks," he quipped, puffing away.

You knocked a shoulder into him. "I'm being sweet. If you were perfect then I'd feel inadequate all the time in comparison but since you've got these flaws and vices that make you more real, in a roundabout way, you are perfect. For me, at least."

Alex grew amused with every passing word, tucking an arm behind you. "Well, you're perfect. I hope you feel that."

You shifted your body to get a full look at him. "Maybe not perfect but I feel worthy or something. You always make me feel adequate. I appreciate that."

He shrugged, unsure of how to respond. "You're easy to love. I've never struggled with that."

That's always been the word: easy. From the moment you met, it was a clear link holding you two together, and with time doing its thing, it only grew slowly into what it should be. There was never a force of change, you held onto each other until you clicked at the right time. After that, there was no way to disrupt it.

You moved into Alex's in September. After the tour (and even before), you spent all your time there anyway. He decided over breakfast one day to make it official.

He pulled out a pan to make eggs but before he could place it on the stove, he stared at it. "This is your pan," he said."

You looked up from your cereal. "Oh, yeah, you don't have small pans so I brought mine over. It's better for your eggs, you know. Heats up quicker."

Alex began to laugh, placing the pan down on the stove, and his hands on his hips. You chuckled along with him, even though you were confused. "What's so funny?"

He shook his head, trying to shake off the laughter. "Do you even have anything at your place anymore?"

"Um, I don't know." you thought aloud. You shoveled a pile of cereal in your mouth.

"Why don't you just sell the place?" He suggested. "Move in here."

You shrugged. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" He questioned.

"Yeah, I mean, I like my place."

Alex snorted. "You're never at your place."

"I still like it," you insisted.

He moved over, coming behind you like a snake, and hugging your waist tightly. "Come on, move in," he whispered in your ear.

"I'll think about it," you said as he kissed your neck.

Alex decided on other plans for breakfast. You stood up to clean your bowl but his arms stopped you from making it to the kitchen sink. "I have a convincing argument," he said, taking the bowl out of your hands and setting it down.

You laughed at his bravado but you were soon overpowered by it. He bent you over the counter harshly with a kiss to your left shoulder blade as a form of salvation. He kneeled down on both his knees and grazed his hands on your butt, playing with the fabric of your shorts. He squeezed and pulled and yanked, eventually dragging the material off of you and having it lay at your feet.

Alex's slow nature in the morning took hold as he danced his fingers around your cunt. The tips of his fingers edged on the lips of your pussy. The thumb on his other hand, touched over your asshole, making it pucker up with tension.

"Your teasing is only making me want to say no," you said, desiring relief as soon as possible.

Alex only hummed and muttered, "Interesting." He placed a light kiss on your inner thigh but it only felt like he was moving further away from the point of release. He moved up and kissed your left butt cheek, his hand squeezing the right.

His touch became light and he moved his hand back down to your lips. "I know how to get you there," he insisted. He tapped both your knees. "Spread. They're so close together. It's like you don't want me to touch you."

"It's called being bored," you retorted.

Then, Alex slapped your ass. He'd never done anything more than a pat and it was usually more in a casual setting, not when you were butt naked and not that hard.

You turned your head around, looking down at him with a squint. "Did you just slap my ass?"

"Yeah," he quickly admitted. "Why? Did you like it?" A smirk presented as if he already knew the answer.

You didn't want to give in to him. This was frustration, it wasn't supposed to be satisfaction. You wanted him begging for you, not the other way around. But you couldn't help it. You bit your lip and turned away, not wanting him to see the pleasurable smile on your face. "Maybe."

But then he overwhelmed you, diving straight in and placing his mouth directly on your cunt, dragging a long moan out of you. You could feel the coldness of the counter through your shirt, erecting your nipples. Your hands made a fist, unable to grab onto anything, thwarting you.

His tongue plunged into you and then moved up to your clit before pulling away again, making everything unbearable. His mouth moved to kiss your inner thigh before he left completely to slap your ass again. "You alright?" He asked to make sure, even if you gasped in delight at every feeling.

"Go back down," you demanded.

Alex listened and returned to your core, licking his way through your fold, and reaching his tongue up to your clit. He continued the game of agony, moving back and forth from the pleasurable, but slowly the edging made for a great build-up and he began to lay it on thick, never abandoning your clit until your legs were shaking and you were practically pushing him away from you.

He stood up and slapped your ass. You moved in on Tuesday.

Not much changed. You already had drawers in his dresser and space in his closet and pans in his kitchen. You had already infected his house with your essence and the only difference was you weren't paying rent on a place you were barely ever sleeping.

As the new year began, things slowed. Alex started growing his hair out, stopped shaving, and became far more reclusive. He had grown tired from the road, was now in his 30s, and, most importantly, settled. At times, that thought was terrifying for you, staring down the barrel of this being the rest of your life. Other times, it was comforting, usually waking up in the morning next to Alex.

But there was a lifestyle shift in Alex that you weren't yet aligned with. He rebuffed the idea of going out, talked about leaving LA, and locked himself away in his music room. You weren't particularly annoyed at the latter other than it sometimes felt like he was locking you out of part of him. The idea of leaving LA wasn't unappealing, but he longed for England more and you were American through and through. Going out, well, maybe that's where you got into trouble.

Alex's newfound life as a hermit wasn't horrible now that you were living together but you started to go out more and more without him. Usually with various groups of friends, sometimes for work, two times with Miles, and one time by yourself. Alex said no to going so often that you stopped asking. Soon, you weren't spending many nights together. He'd stay up late working on music or you'd stay out late drinking. Like everything else, it eventually came to a head.

"I think I'm going to Beaman next week," you told him while getting ready to go out one night.

He was in the shower. He was staying in. "Why?"

You furrowed your brows toward the shower curtain. "I haven't been back in a while. My mom's birthday is at the end of the month."

"Alright," he said over the sound of rushing water.

"Do you want to come with me?"

For a moment, only the shower made a noise. It didn't even sound like Alex moved an inch. You stared at the shower curtain and thought he might pop his head out. But he didn't and you didn't move to open the curtain either. Finally, he answered, "No, no. I think I'll stay here. Jamie's coming into town soon."

You thought about fighting it or asking him if he was going to do anything with Jamie, instead, you said, "Okay. I'm leaving now."

"Alright," he said, "Have fun. I love you." He never came out from behind the curtain. When you came home he was asleep.

Upon your return from Iowa, Alex picked you up at the airport. The car ride home was pleasant and he made dinner. You were scraping your fork along the plate when he asked, "Would you ever want to live in Iowa again?"

You snorted at the ridiculousness. "I left home when I was 18 and have only lived in New York and LA. Does that strike you as someone who wants to move back to the Midwest?"

 Alex shrugged and thoughtfully looked down at his nearly empty plate. "I just never knew if you thought about it."

"Are you thinking about it? About England?" You leaned on your fist, eager for the answer.

He shook his head. "I'm just homesick, I guess." He then stood up and took his plate to the dishwasher.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shouted into the kitchen.

You awaited an answer from the other side of the wall. You heard the dishwasher shut and his feet pad across the wooden floor, he stopped in the archway, facing you. With certainty, he said, "I'm happy here."

You stayed seated. "Would you want to move back?"

He looked unsure but answered, "I don't think so."

"You can be honest," you assured him. "If you think I'm worried or going to shoot it down. I mean, I'm not saying yes, but if you're thinking about it I think we should talk about it."

He shook his head. "I'm not saying I want to be here forever and maybe that's something we should talk about since..."

"Since?" You questioned, clueless of where his words were leading.

Alex laughed at you, turning away, not bearing to make eye contact. "Since we're us. You and me."

"I'm confused," you said, crossing your brows. "What's this have to do with England?"

He laughed again, nerves tackling him. "We're not just fooling around here anymore. This direction..." He motioned a straight line and though you were catching on you still wished to hear him talk in full.

"This direction?"

He rolled his eyes with a smile, exasperated by your questioning. "Look, we've talked about it."

You playfully raised an eyebrow. "It?"

He wagged his finger at you. "Quit playing games with me here."

"Oh," you nodded enthusiastically, "the marrying me thing. You talk around it like it's a curse word."

"'Cause it makes me nervous." He played with the ends of his hair as a soothing mechanism. 

You shifted forward, leaning your head onto your hand, resting it on your knee. You genuinely asked, "Why does it make you nervous?"

A nervous smile played at his lips as he calmly said, "Why the fuck do you think?" He laughed, feeling overwhelmed, both of you.

"You tell me," you egged him on.

Alex threw his head back, exhausted from you toying him. "You do the laundry. I know you've been in my underwear drawer."

You giggled, remembering the sight. "Well, you put it in your underwear drawer, how cliche are you?"

"At least I didn't do my sock drawer!" He shouted, trying to insist he wasn't such an idiot. "I didn't think you'd go digging around in there."

"Hey!" You assert. "I didn't find it. It found me."

You both laughed and soon the room fell quiet. "Hey," you said. "You got me a princess cut." It was dainty like you wanted, no giant diamonds, and no uncomfortability. A simple, classic look. He did good.

He kept a small smile, despite both of your racing hearts. "Well, that's what you wanted."

You grinned back, sitting up straight, and leaning your side into the back of the dining room chair. "You got my ring size right too."

He raised his eyebrows. "You put it on?"

"On my right hand that way I didn't break any rules."

Smiles were plastered on each of your faces. "Should I just go get it?" You'll probably cry if he does go get it.

"Yes. And yes to your next question too."

"I haven't even gotten down on one knee."

You shook your head. "You don't have to get down on one knee."

"I want to." He does. And the ring fits just as well on the left as it did on the right.

Just like moving in, being engaged isn't that much different either with the exception of getting your mother off your back and a nice new piece of jewelry. Alex enjoyed calling you "fiancée" when introducing you.

You started to go out less but when he did he came more often. It was a non-verbal comparison and with a new album on the horizon, you started to stockpile time together. Any wedding talk was limited but agreed upon to take place after the tour so you could enjoy married life together. Alex also heavily enjoyed the in-between state of being engaged and what you thought would be the dull before the actual excitement of marriage, turned into its own new game.

You accompanied him more on tour, mostly because it was much longer this time. You joined him for branches, attended the US shows, made him shave his head in Texas, and made your way over to London. There were bigger breaks this time with things not packed so closely together. You spent Christmas in Iowa with Alex for the first time. You went to Hawaii for his birthday. You went bowling for Valentine's Day.

When the tour ended and there was an actual wedding to plan, everything felt stuck. It was either too cliche or too underwhelming. It became easier to just get married and worry more about planning a party. So, you got married at a cute small inn with sycamore trees with a small number of guests. Those who would be willing to sit through a wedding without getting antsy.

The reception party grew in numbers and the loveliest part is you didn't have to worry about cleaning any of the mess up. Alex got cake on his suit and you went to the bathroom more times than you can count. But overall, it was a simple, sweet night. 

Honeymooning (fucking) in Fiji and then resuming life two weeks later. "Wife" became Alex's new favourite word but everything else stayed the same. Well, for about a month.

You just had a feeling. You woke up one day and felt it. You nudged him awake, it was early before the sun was up. "Alex."

He hummed in acknowledgment, shut-eyed.

You burrowed into him and nonchalantly said, "I'm pregnant."

"What?!" His eyes were wide and his face wrinkled in confusion. "Seriously? When did you find out?"

You flopped onto your back, turning your head to the side to look at him. "Just now. I can feel it."

"So, you feel like you're pregnant?" He questioned.

"Yeah."

"But you don't know it. You didn't take a test?"

"No, but I know. I'll take one in the morning, I just wanted to let you know. Night." You turned over into your pillow and closed your eyes.

Alex sat with his mouth agape. "Yeah. Night." He didn't fall back asleep.

And you were right. You shrugged and said, "Told ya." Alex laughed. Then, he cried. Then, he hugged you. Then, he kissed your stomach, but you thought that was too weird so you told him to stop.

Being pregnant definitely changed things but things felt the same just with one more thing. You fucked. A lot. Your sexual appetite increased but you had always been horny for Alex. It's just a given. But there was a point where things did change.

It was the first ultrasound. You felt it when you entered the room. The air was cold and there was a shift, everything suddenly becoming real. You enjoyed watching Alex twiddle his thumbs while you waited for the technician. 

When they started to move the wand around your stomach, he became fascinated with the machine, continuously asking questions. More of them were about the machine rather than the baby. 

And, well, then the whole twin thing happened.

"Like two of them?" Alex held two fingers up like he couldn't quite comprehend it. 

The technician nodded and you still couldn't think of a verbal response to the news.

Then, Alex said, "We've been having a lot of sex, did we like make another baby when we—"

You interrupted, "Are you the dumbest person alive?"

Alex pinned the ultrasound to your fridge and kept a copy in his wallet. He held an affection for it that you didn't. Maybe because you were the pregnant one. The proof came attached to you. Nonetheless, you were charmed by Alex in his fatherly role, even if he stressed you out with the need to be super-ultra-prepared. His nervousness about what you could and couldn't do got annoying by the second month. He calmed down after you yelled at him.

Although, it was nice for him to take on the extra work. You picked out the design for the nursery and he did all the work, citing that you couldn't paint because of the toxic fumes and everything was a heavy load.

He knew you were full of bullshit but he didn't care. "I like helping out. Being the man in charge."

You told him not to get too full of himself. His insistence on doing everything led him to break his index finger.

But after everything had healed and two babies became two girls, you both relaxed into your final months of solitude, which really just meant lots of sex. You fucked and he went down on you but sometimes you felt too sore down there from all the pelvic pressure and though Alex insisted that no sex was fine, you insisted that release was release, even if it wasn't your release. Alex still fondled your breasts too, saying that's where all his horniness came from.

"How can I not be turned on when they're just staring at me?" They were bigger and Alex was always insatiable.

"I feel like a cow," you whined. You were bigger with two babies and the only way you did have sex was doggy style with everything hanging.

"You're not a cow," Alex said, climbing into bed. You were under the sheets, exhausted at 9 PM. He curled up behind you, whispering in your ear, "You want me to fuck you on your side?"

You thought about it, felt the ache, and said, "Okay."

You were already underwear-free because they hurt your vagina too much when you slept. You had returned to your old days of quickness. Alex pulled himself out of his boxers, gave himself a few pumps, and slid into you. You softly moaned as Alex pushed into you slowly at first before his thrusts grew quicker. He knew you were tired and needed a quick release. 

"Fuck," he harshly whispered as his speed picked up, skins slapped, and sweat beads formed. He clutched your hipbone tightly and you fisted your pillowcase. Every action rushed and a final slam resulted in you falling apart and him emptying into you. His hand caressed up your bump and you knew he was very turned on but the whole pregnancy sex things and not just because of the boobs. However, he did love those too, and gave them a quick squeeze before cleaning up.

The final change came in an expected way. Labour was shorter if only for the epidural and the C-section. You wanted to resist the idea until the thought of pushing two babies out set in and the pain became too unbearable and Twin A was breached and then a C-section seemed like the best thing, even if it was surgery.

Alex liked wearing the medical gear and kept adjusting his mask. Oh, Alex, sweet naive Alex. Luckily, everything was smooth, except for the fact you couldn't hold the babies until they had sewn everything up. But Alex cut the umbilical cord and got to hold them, which was a sweet enough sight.

When you were placed in recovery and finally got to hold them, then came the hard part. "What do we name them?" You asked.

Alex shook his head. "I got no fucking idea." Names had been discussed but you never really landed on one let alone two. "You should name them. You carried them and they're getting my last name."

"It's too much pressure," you whined.

Alex sighed and concluded, "Thing 1 and Thing 2 it is then."

Eventually, you decided on Wren and Willow. You initially hated the shared first initial but Alex liked it and it became too frustrating to think of any other names.

The first month was harsh. Your body was slowly healing and you ached all the time. You had backup with both sets of parents but then everyone went back home and everything shut down and it was just you, Alex, and Wren & Willow. It didn't actually feel like much had changed. It's not like you would have left the house anyway.

Alex takes to having the girls nap on him. Sometimes one at a time, sometimes both. Sometimes he will let you nap in his arms too. The days are long but the weeks move fast.

One day, Willow laughs. It's the first time either of them has laughed. It took you both by surprise. You were feeding Wren while Willow laid on her back with Alex loomed over her. Usually, when he would blow raspberries on her stomach she would just gurgle and flap her arms and legs around, but this time she laughed, and it’s the loudest sound you've ever heard.

Alex looked down at her, completely engaged, not bearing to take his eyes off, scared to miss the sight. It gets him laughing too with tears in his throat. He leaned down again and blew more air against her tummy. She shrieks this time, giggling, and you want to capture the sound forever. Run and have Alex record it.

But you looked down at Wren and rubbed your finger against her tiny baby cheek, deciding that there was no need to move from this comfort.

They aren't easy babies. There are two of them too. They both wake each other up, which means both you and Alex have to get up because it's 2 v. 2 and they're small but mighty. They eventually get on a sleep schedule and a routine and trade-off between you and Alex is set into place.

By the end of the year, it's the new normal and you don't remember a time when they weren't around. You want to be with them all the time just like you want to be with Alex all the time.

They're great. But then they wake you up at 3 AM.

*

a/n: so...this slowly became a prequel to my dad!al fic and i decided to just finish it that way. i also have not read through it because i'm tired so any mistakes you did not see.

[doctor-dusk]

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐭, 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞 | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

he showed you that movie theaters were not made exclusively for watching movies.

warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), piv, public sex. can't remember any more warnings beside these ones.

word count: 7.6k

series masterlist

ffs 7.6k words i'm gobsmacked- i ended up getting too excited, but uuuugh, i loved writing this part. i hope you like it :3

of course you accepted. 

however, as much as you wanted to see him, you were hesitant. you had never seen him other than via video call, and you were somewhat paranoid about people you met on the internet. so, you two agreed to meet at a movie theater, which was usually full and where you felt safe for a first date.

it was saturday night and you told your parents that you were going to the movies with your best friend. well, if you were paranoid, your parents were much worse than you. you couldn't simply throw them a ‘i'm going out with a guy i met online’.

but to be on the safe side and to maintain your own safety, you notified your best friend, giving her the address of the movie theater and saying that if you weren't home by midnight, she should call the police.

you were very nervous, of course. numerous scenarios running through your head. possibilities of everything going very right or very wrong. but you were already there. 

leaning against the cold wall outside the movie theater, watching the little movement on the street. usually on the date of a film's premiere, the frenzy is imminent. lines of cars on all sides of the avenue and more queues to buy tickets and get in the rooms. but now, it's calm. so calm.

you looked at your phone, checking the time. you scheduled it for 8pm, there were exactly 7 minutes left. you were too anxious, at 5pm you were already taking your shower and at 6:40pm you were ready. but you made sure to dress up well for the occasion. you could already expect the shower of compliments he might give you, like “oh, i love your dress. take a little spin for me” or “you smell so good”. something that would be very “alex” to say.

your cell phone vibrated, indicating that a message had arrived. in a rush, you rummaged through your purse, thinking it was a message from him.

“did he arrive?” you let your eyebrows fall when you saw it was a message from your best friend.

“not yet.” you answered, trying to sound optimistic. there is still time, he could arrive at any moment. your stomach was churning with anxiety, you resisted the urge to bite your freshly painted wine nails.

she didn't say anything else and neither did you, closing your hand around your phone and supporting your body weight on your other leg while you placed one hand on your waist.

you looked around once more, taking a few steps ahead, not having a right direction to go. you're bored. distracted. nervous. anxious. like you’re going to explode like a dynamite. you needed to relax your mind a little. 

you took a few steps closer to the parking lot, seeing how empty it was. you could count 8 cars there and 3 motorcycles. better, 4 motorcycles, since one was just arriving through the adjacent entrance. 

your eyes followed that motorcycle until it stopped, parking in the reserved space. it wasn't that dark despite some broken light bulbs in the parking lot, but you could recognize that the model of the bike was a kawasaki. maybe a W800. not that you're an expert, but do you remember that your uncle had a motorcycle just like that. he said he loved the motorcycle more than his own wife. isn't it surprising that they have divorced.

back to what you're seeing, the motorcyclist got off after placing the motorcycle's foot on the ground, securing it so that the motorcycle remained upright and without any risk of falling. the black leather jacket hugged his body just right, the dark jeans didn't seem to be that tight on his lower body, just accentuating the curves of his thighs. and wow, what an ass. 

his back was turned the whole time. he carefully removed his helmet, combing his hair back, but he didn't seem satisfied with the result when he looked at his own reflection in a car window. so, he pulled out a small comb that was in his back pocket, combing his hair back until he thought it looked presentable enough, slicked back to the last hair.

he put the comb inside his pocket and pulled out his phone from the front pocket. your heart raced. coud be him?

your phone vibrated in your hand. you looked at the screen, a message from alex popped on your screen.

‘’i’m here.’’

you froze in place, like your feet were glued on the floor. you looked back at the exact moment he turned around.

yeah, it was him.

fuck, fuck, fuck. it was him.

alex was more intimidating in person. not in a bad way, though. 

he wasn't that tall. but well, you didn't expect him to be as tall as a lamppost either. he was tall enough to make you stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to kiss him. pale skin under the streetlights, dark hair slicked back and covered in hair gel that made the shiny strands stay in place. it suited him well, although you were used to seeing him with a bit more unruly hair. but it matched his thin face, vibrant ebony eyes, thin, slightly pursed mouth. and oh, of course... the nose. the fucking charming nose. better in person. so much better.

‘’hello you.’’ he greeted you as soon as his eyes met your figure not so far from him. ‘’hope i didn't make you wait too long.’’

‘’you're here.’’ you said almost in a whisper while you put your cell phone back in your purse. you're acting a bit awkwardly, but you couldn't help it.

‘’guess i am.’’ he chuckled, standing in front of you, not knowing exactly how to greet you. he didn't want to admit that he was also nervous to see you. ‘’can i hug you?’’

‘’y-yes, of course.’’ you chuckled, watching him bend down just a little so he could hug you properly, wrapping his arms around your waist, hugging you tight. you wrapped your arms around his neck, really sure that you would need to stand on your tiptoes if you wanted to be at his height.

‘’mhm, there we go. you smell so good.’’ he muttered, running his nose over your shoulder, not touching your neck. he didn't want to sound so invasive.

funny, because you've done so much over video call. and now you're here, acting awkwardly like two teenagers.

you smiled weakly. you already expected this compliment, yet you’re giggling internally. ‘‘do you like it?’’ you asked, not failing to notice that he also smelled good. something woody, accentuating the masculinity he exuded along with the freshness of the hair gel.

‘’yeah. all for me?’’ he said, taking one last deep breath before breaking the hug, letting you return to your normal posture. you chuckled, seeing him gesture with his finger for you to take a little turn. very shyly, you did so, eliciting a low whistle from him. ‘’hell, you're even better in person, i'm feeling spoiled already.’’

‘’i have to impress you, don't i?’’ you raised both eyebrows, your palms sweating as you clenched your hands against the strap of your purse.

‘’nah, that's my job. gotta impress you even more now.’’ he chuckled, putting his arm around your shoulder so you could head towards the entrance of the movie theater.

you looked over your shoulder, taking a look at the motorcycle. ‘’is that yours?’’ you pointed curiously.

‘’yep. all mine. did you like it?’’ he asked, following your gaze to the parked motorcycle. you nodded. ‘’good. i'll show you better later. if you want, i can even teach you how to drive it.’’

‘’oh, please, don't give me any ideas.’’ you chuckled, already picturing him teaching you everything, telling you the name of each component of the motorcycle, how to accelerate, or how to change gears. you could already see his big hands guiding yours on the motorcycle's handlebars.

‘’don't worry love, you'll be fine, i’ll show you everything you need to know.’’ he said, giving you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. ‘’so... do you know which movie you want to see?’’

you took a quick look at the catalog, seeing which movies were showing. none of them interested you visually speaking. you looked back at him. you didn't even need to say anything. after all, he wasn't interested in any movie either. deep down, you both knew that the movie would just be an excuse.

‘’it's ok. let's see this one.’’ he pointed to a random one, you didn't even have time to read the title because he was already holding your hand to go to the ticket office. there was no queue at all, so you didn't have to worry about that. ‘’good evening. i'll take two tickets for that movie over there.’’ he said to the clerk, who had a bored look on his face while he was fiddling with his cell phone.

you were already opening your purse to get your wallet when alex glanced at you, frowning immediately.

‘’what are you doing?’’ he asked, holding your wrist, making you stop and look at him.

‘’i'm going to…’’ you pointed to the ticket office. ‘’pay for my ticket.’’

he looked at you, almost dumbfounded. then, he laughed softly, shaking his head.

‘’none of that. leave it to me.’’ he said. you felt kind of stupid because he acted and said it like it was something unacceptable.

‘’alex, i'm used to paying for my ticket, it's ok…’’ you told him, not really caring, but he shook his head again. well, if you were stubborn, he made sure to be worse than you.

‘’used to it? damn, did those blokes made you pay for your ticket?’’ he asked, genuinely concerned, taking his wallet out of his front pocket.

you didn't answer. there was no need to answer since he was right. you had already lost count of how many bad dates you had been on and how many times you had had to pay for your ticket. it was ridiculous to think about it sometimes.

his frown softened as did his voice. ‘’not with me, hm? now be good and sit over there while i finish up here.’’ he said, letting go of your wrist and pointing to one of the cushioned chairs in the hall. ‘’do you want popcorn? soda?’’

‘’no, i'm good.’’ you answered.

‘’mints?’’ he pointed to the glass candy display. you nodded softly, deciding to accept at least a mint gum. you were already feeling weird enough for letting him pay for your ticket. it was unusual for you.

you made your way to one of the chairs, sitting there, crossing your leg while your purse rested on your lap. your phone vibrated again, and you already knew who it was.

‘’should i call the police?’’ your friend's message made you laugh softly, your fingers typing the reply quickly.

‘’you should call the fireman. god, you have no idea how hot he is.’’

she sent you a bunch of emojis, asking for more details. of course you could tell her enough, but not everything. and you wouldn't do it now.

you heard a whistle, seeing that alex was waiting for you with the two tickets in his hand. you stood up, putting your phone away and going to him. ‘’he said that the next session starts in ten minutes, we can get in there if we want.’’ he said, handing you the package with mints.

‘’good, we can find a good place to sit then.’’ you said, holding the packet of mints in your hand, not wanting to open it for now.

alex guided the way, his hand always holding yours as you made your way down the dark hallway to the dimly lit room, the large white screen seemed to hover over you as you climbed the carpeted stairs, being careful not to trip. he scanned the place, not that it was very crowded, just a few people spread out in different places in the seats. he wanted a spot that he knew no one would pay attention to you.

‘’there. sounds great?’’ he pointed to a spot in the first few chairs, right at the top. you nodded, following him until you reached the seats, he let you go first to sit in the chair on the left while he sat to your left. ‘’it's a good spot, hm?’’ he commented to you, taking a look from his point of view, seeing that it was hard for anyone to notice you there. you were sitting almost under the projector, so probably not even the projectionist would be able to see you there.

‘’mhmm, really good.’’ you said, opening the package of mints, putting one in your mouth, feeling the freshness invade your mouth almost instantly. ‘’want one?’’ you asked, handing the package to him.

he alternated his gaze between you and the package, your expecting eyes on him the whole time.

‘’yeah, but... i don't want any of those.’’ he answered and you already felt your throat close up a little. ‘’i want yours. can i have it?’’

fuck, that's it. it's your chance. don't fuck it up.

‘’yeah.’’ you answered, glancing at his arm passing over your shoulder. your stomach seemed to tie a double knot, your heart was beating so fast it felt like you were going to have a heart attack at any moment.

before your eyes could register, his lips touched yours tenderly, savoring the first contact as much as possible, like touching the grass after a rain on a calm afternoon, the smell of wet soil invading your lungs with force while you felt like a flower blooming on the first day of spring.

he was calm, but intense. you couldn't explain it, you could only feel every sensation he brought you with that simple kiss as he tried to taste your mouth when the tip of his tongue passed over your bottom lip. you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding when the kiss deepened, he explored the confines of your mouth as much as he could, swirling his tongue around yours, the mint candy passing from one mouth to the other in an almost frantic manner. his hand tightened on your shoulder, bringing you closer. you didn't even know what to do with your hands, keeping them gripping the arm of the seat.

you broke the kiss when you were forced to take a breath, panting softly, the candy had disappeared from your mouth, leaving only the slight burn of mint on your taste buds. but still, the taste of his kiss prevailed.

‘’wow.’’ he was the first to break the silence, running his thumb over your bottom lip, cleaning the trace of saliva from there. ‘’i think i accidentally swallowed the candy.’’

you chuckled, not really caring about it, your mind in a spiral, his kiss fresh on your lips like fresh paint. ‘’there's more here if you want it.’’ you replied, watching him shake his head slightly, his eyes drinking in your almost silhouette in the low light of the movie theater, he heard murmurs around, but nothing that took his attention away from you.

‘’maybe later, love. it was just an excuse for me to be able to kiss you.’’ he whispered, pecking your lips, making you practically beg for more as you tilted your head towards him, searching for his lips like a magnet. he let out a small chuckle. ‘’did you like it that much?’’

‘’you're a good kisser.’’ you admitted quietly. he really was a good kisser. you didn't know if it was because of your bad kissing history, but you also didn't want to burn your neurons thinking about it. you wanted his kiss again. and again. and again.

and he would be more than happy to give it to you.

he kissed you again, his lips searching for the perfect rhythm, still trying to fit together as precisely as a jigsaw puzzle. his breathing was heavy, the air exhaled through his nose and hit your cheek, the texture of his wet lips against yours brought you the feeling of being completely ecstatic as he moved his tongue, as if he was inviting yours to a slow dance.

his right hand passed over yours, his thumb lightly caressing your knuckles and fingers, sliding over the silver ring you had on your middle finger. you sighed softly when the hand that was on top of yours rested on your bare knee. before you could break the kiss again due to lack of air, a loud noise echoed through the speakers spread throughout the movie theater, startling both of you. oh, damn trailers.

‘’you good?’’ he asked, merely amused that you were startled by it, both of his hands rubbing your shoulder and knee simultaneously.

‘’yeah, just... unexpected.’’ you chuckled, feeling his lips pressing a small kiss on your forehead, giving you time to recover and maybe get in the mood again as the trailers played on the huge screen.

you felt comfortable enough to lay your head on his shoulder, the strands of your hair tickling his nose as he turned his face to place a tender kiss on the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment, inhaling the scent of your shampoo on your soft locks, almost burying his face there.

‘’i love how you smell. really.’’ he said softly, as if he was admitting more to himself than to you. he couldn't help it, as if everything inside him was succumbing to you. he didn't expect this on a first date, but he wasn't trying hard to stop it either.

‘’hm?’’ you asked, moving your head so you could look at him, waiting for him to repeat himself because you really hadn't heard, the sound of the voices from the movie forced him to speak louder or get closer to your ear.

but he didn't answer you. he kissed you instead, feeling the sweetness of your lips pressed against his. this almost made him groan, his desire increasing with each caress exchanged, with each miserable sigh you let out. the hand that was on your knee went up to your thigh, feeling more precisely how soft your skin was. the feeling stretched the smile on his lips.

‘’just the way i imagined. god, you have no idea how much i wanted to touch you like this. how much i craved this...’’ he whispered between your lips, feeling your warm breath hitting his lips. you were already numb, if you weren't sitting down, you were definitely on the floor, your senses seemed to be reduced to dust at this moment. ‘’so soft…’’ he whispered again, sinking his fingers into the warm flesh of your thigh, threatening to advance under your dress.

‘’alex…’’ you whispered back, your voice a mix of desire and nervousness. and as always, he knew it.

‘’is it okay if i touch you?’’ he asked, his head tilted back so he could look you in the eyes, seeking the assurance that it would be okay if he continued. you nodded, your desire speaking louder than any other insecurity or fear. you mentally thanked yourself for having shaved during the shower. not that you were expecting it, but... well, you were.

he kept his face close to yours, watching every single expression as his hand inched closer, your heat radiating more and more as you bit your lip in anticipation and excitement. he palmed your core, raising his eyebrows in a slight surprise.

‘’fuck, baby. soaked already. i didn't even do anything.’’ he let out in a sly tone, his fingers collecting your wetness over your panties, almost making you whine. he was delicate, he wanted to discover everything about you little by little, despite having already seen your cunt on video call. but it was different in person.

he teased you over the thin and wet material, almost feeling your folds molding in the panties, sticking and soaking even more when he found your clit, the bud marking the spot for being so swollen and needy.

instantly, it was like a switch had turned in his head. he didn't want to touch you anymore. he wanted to taste you. eat you. devour you.

you watched as he got on his knees on the carpeted floor, crawling that narrow and tight hallway just to stand in front of you. you widen your eyes a bit, getting a little alarmed by the idea.

‘’what are you going to do?’’

‘’gonna eat you out, babe. no one will see me, i promise. only you.’’ he answered, his hands going to your knees, looking up at you. your face was lit only by the movie screen, the flashes illuminating your insecure expressions more and more. ‘’need to taste you, please.’’

please. again.

your hands itched. you wanted this so much, so much. but you were also scared, a huge impasse. a voice in your head told you to go and another told you not to go. but oh, those big puppy eyes looking up at you was your undoing.

‘’okay.’’ you agreed, lifting your hips so he could take off your panties, each act increased the flow of adrenaline running through your veins, your body heated up as well as the rest of your organism as he held your knees, spreading your legs for him.

he held your panties, his fist closing around the lace, feeling the gluey wetness against his palm, making his cock twitch inside his jeans. he was hungry. so hungry for you.

‘’closer.’’ he urged, pulling your hips, leaving your ass almost off the chair, your body in a position almost lying on the armchair, your eyes wandering around before returning to him, his breath creeping up on your thigh. ‘’that's it, baby. you okay?’’ he asked, wanting one last confirmation that everything was okay with you before he continued.

‘’mhm... taste me, al. please.’’ you whispered to him, lust filled eyes looking down at him in a silent plea.

and nothing else was needed. no words, no encouragement. it was like the starting gun for alex to just bury his face between your legs, his greedy tongue sliding along your vulva, from bottom to top, collecting your juices. it was like he was tasting a drink for the first time. but it wasn't like he was eating pussy for the first time. but it was your pussy. it was different. he didn't know exactly what it was, but it was different, it made him want to get drunk, to drown in your ocean.

‘’my god, so fucking good…’’ he mumbled against your folds, moving his lips up to suck your clit, sucking so hard that you closed your legs around his head with equal force, your hands gripped the armrest of the seats until the blood stopped circulating in your hands, turning it white. “sorry, did i hurt you?” he paused, looking up at you.

“n-no, you were just... hasty.” you replied after blinking a few times, loosening the grip of your legs around his head, feeling the soft touch of his hands on your inner thighs, pushing your legs apart again, keeping his hands there to hold you in case you close them again.

“sorry. gonna take it slow for you, honey.” he apologized, feeling a little guilty for having done that on the first contact. 

but it was a little difficult for him to control himself. since he saw you last time, he had lost count of how many times he fucked his own fist imagining himself like that, rubbing his face in your pussy, sucking, licking, biting, touching every single inch of that area. it was like a personal achievement.

now, he knew he needed to take it slow. he wanted to make it good for you, to make you whimper his name and reduce you to a mess in that seat. he looked up at you, taking the sight of your scrunched face, your eyes leaving his to look around, making sure no one was looking. 

god, he had such a good tongue. you were already sure of that when he kissed you, but you really weren't expecting it to be even better as he lapped your folds calmly, but with that hint of hunger deep down. he mumbled something that you didn't even hear or try to understand, your head falling back slightly, your saliva running down your throat with difficulty. then, he tapped your thigh, catching your attention.

“can you do me a favor, love?” he asked, taking a breath that he didn't even know he needed, his lips were already starting to get swollen. “give me a mint.” he pointed to the package next to you. you looked back at him, deciphering what he was thinking of doing. “you'll like it, trust me.”

and you trusted him.

you took a candy from the package carefully, the green tiny ball stayed in the palm of your hand until you brought it to your mouth. he hummed in gratitude, feeling the freshness mixing with the taste of your pussy on his tongue. 

you felt your heart pounding against your chest, your face boiling red. he was no different, and for him it was a little worse, because he already felt that familiar feeling in the lower region, his jeans getting tighter at every moment. he wanted to release, he needed it. but he wanted to take care of you first.

his tongue meets your meaty slimy folds once again, you gasped when you felt it burn a little, but not in a bad way. it was a cooling burn, like an ice cube sliding up and down your pussy, making the mint press on your clit while he slobbered on your cunt like a starving man.

“good?” he muttered to you, looking up. you were a mess, shaking and squirming at his ministrations. 

“s-so good, please… more.” you babbled as he gave a smirk at your answer. his thumb moved to press on your clit, feeling it pulsing, craving, almost screaming his name. 

“i'm gonna ruin it.” you whispered, afraid that you would mess up his perfectly slicked back hair.

“gonna give you more, baby. your pussy is so delicious, holy shit.” his filthy mouth only sent shivers down your spine, the freshness and the eager way he eats you out made you see stars before your eyes, little twinkling dots as you felt a knot forming at the pit of your belly. you trembled, your hands gripping the arms of the seat, needing to ground yourself. “my hair, sweetie. you can grab it.” he hummed, holding your wrists, bringing your hands to his hair, the hair gel felt cool in your palms.

“i don't fucking care. make a mess, babe.” his voice sounded almost harsh as his hands returned to your plushy thighs, his sloppy tongue moving across your labia and clit, making your cunt pulse in an overwhelming rhythm.

it all seemed too much for you. the adrenaline, the hunger, the filthy words infesting your mind. your eyes rolled back as you gripped his greasy hair, a few strands falling down his sweaty forehead. you couldn't hold on for any longer.

“al, 'm gonna cum…” you choked as your hips bucked, almost like you're trying to run away from his mouth.

“fuck yes, come on my mouth, please, please…” he grunted, your words settling in his mind like a command. he grabbed your hips roughly, keeping you in place, his rolling tongue snaking through your folds and teasing your gaping entrance before your entire body shook, your back arching in the chair in an erotic way as your thighs clamped shut as you trembled, milking on his tongue.

you gasped for air, your fingers still clenching in his hair as he drank every last drop of your release, sucking it all in like he was a vacuum cleaner until he lifted his head again, his mouth coated and glistening, totally covered in you.

“fuck, i can't explain…” he breathed out. he almost came in his pants at that, as embarrassing as it was for him to admit. he wouldn't even dare palm himself now, any touch now would be dangerous and he would have a lot of work to clean it up later. “so fucking good, i swear. god, it was better than i imagined.”

you let out a breathless laugh, taking the sight of him on his knees, his forehead resting on your knee for a second as he caught his breath.

“i need to fuck you.”

a fierce blush spread over your cheeks at his words. you were never the type of person to have sex on the first date. but no, you weren't going to deny it. not when you wanted it as much as he did. not when he was different.

“and i need you to fuck me.”

the movie theater was behind you as your hurried footsteps made your way outside. your heart was beating as fast as your steps, you were even walking faster than him, his hand holding yours while the other hand still held your panties inside his closed fist. yeah, you didn't even bother to put it on. it’s not like you're going to need it now.

“motel?” he asked you. you shook your head. your adventurous spirit was at its peak now, and besides... you trusted him, but not enough to let him take you to a motel. 

“no, i was thinking about…” you said, stopping when you got close to his motorcycle. at this point, it was the only motorcycle parked there, and there were only three other cars there, all considerably far from where you were. 

“here?” he asked you, raising his eyebrows. he looked around. it was a quiet spot. it wasn't as well lit as the rest of that almost deserted parking lot. ‘’on my bike?’’ he asked again as he saw you leaning to support your weight a little on the leather seat. you swallowed a little, not knowing if he thought it was a good idea. or if he wouldn't like it.

‘’we don't have to…’’

‘’i want to.’’ alex approached you, putting his helmet on the ground near the front wheel of the bike and you did the same with your purse. he caged you between his body and the motorcycle, his arms on either side of your body, the heat of his body transmitting to yours. ‘’i just think you deserve to be fucked in a bed.’’

again, his words seemed to light a flame inside you. ‘’we can leave it for next time. i really like your bike.’’ you giggled, feeling his nose touching your cheek as he kissed your jaw. he smiled against your skin. you’re already thinking about the next time.

‘’course you did, huh? alright then. gonna fuck you from behind, what do you think?’’ he suggested, making you spin on your heels, your lower belly touching the leather seat, feeling his hard cock almost poking your ass if it weren't for the layers of clothes getting in the way. you could feel how thick he is. just like in the photos and videos.

alex didn't want to waste time. he handed you your panties so you could hold them yourself, soon having his hands free to unbuckle his belt and lower the zipper of his jeans, putting his hand inside his boxers to take out his pulsing and aching length of that tightness that felt like a prison.

he pumped his cock a few times while his other hand was lost inside his pants pocket, taking his wallet to take out a condom from inside.

‘’i can't see a damn thing.’’ he complained softly, searching for the foil package in the compartments of his wallet, finally finding it after a thorough search, ripping the packaging with his teeth and rolling it on his cock. ‘’you good?'' he asked, kissing your bare shoulder, his body molding against yours like a lego piece fitting together.

‘’mhmm, can't wait…’’ you nodded eagerly, bending your body a bit more on the motorcycle, feeling him lift the hem of your dress a bit, almost twisting the fabric as he closed his fist against it to keep it above your tailbone.

‘’such a greedy girl, huh? all shy when you saw me and now you're practically begging me to fuck you on top of my motorcycle.’’ he teased you, sliding his already condom-covered cock through your sticky folds before lining his fat tip at your entrance. ‘’are you a virgin?’’

‘’no.’’ you answered without having to think much.

‘’good.’’ he replied. not that he would have a problem if you were, but he felt like he would have to be a lot more careful. and that it should preferably be in a bed and not on top of a motorcycle.

god, you both were on fire. all the video calls, all the times he masturbated in front of the camera for you, all the nights he daydreamed about you, none of it came close to this moment. he have you, all of you, including your pussy, all to himself so he could fuck you senseless.

his tip slowly nudged and stretched you, an almost pathetic moan dared to escape your lips as you balanced yourself, letting your weight fall on the bike. he almost let a whine escape as he felt the warmth of your pussy. god, he couldn't even measure how much he wanted this, how much he had desired this since the moment he saw you.

‘’ready?’’ he asked one last time, his breath threatening to fail, his cock was already aligned, he just needed to push, your pussy was so wet from your own wetness and his spit from earlier.

‘’please…’’ you whined, looking at him over your shoulder, feeling his hand go to your waist to squeeze and bring some stability to him.

so, he didn't hold back. alex tortuously stretched your cunt as he began thrusting deliciously slowly, his bulky cock pushing past your tight gummy walls until he bottomed out.

‘’fuck.’’ he said between gritted teeth at the feeling of your pussy already clenching around him, so tightly that it was almost hard to move. ‘’sure you’re not a virgin? so fucking tight.’’

you could chuckle at his words if you weren’t trying to get used to him. ‘’you're the one who's too much for me.’’ you replied. you weren't used to this. when you saw his cock on the screen of your laptop, you knew it was big, but you didn't know you'd have to work to accommodate it, you didn't know he'd stretch you so much.

‘’easy, baby. let me in.’’ he coaxed you. ‘’shit, you're so…’’ he grunted again, swallowing thickly. he didn't know if it was because he was really horny for that moment or if it was because you were really tight. maybe both.

your hands gripped the leather of the seat, your palms sweating more as you tried to relax for him, letting alex pump his cock in and out of you, your cunt swallowing and sucking him up, almost trapping him inside you.

‘’yeah, just like this, doing so good, let me fuck you good, hm?’’ he whispered in your ear, kissing your earlobe, starting to thrust at a gradually increasing pace. he released your dress, bringing his hand to your cheek, pinching it slightly, making your skin flush where he pinched.

‘’fuck, you feel so good, so thick…’’ you gasped, your eyes getting glassy because while it felt good, it was also too much for you. he smiled cockily at your praise, holding your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn your face so you could look at him.

‘’yeah, baby? do you like my cock? it's so much better in person, hm? you're sucking him whole already.’’ he mumbled, pounding into your pussy with purpose. your eyes closed shut, an almost pornographic moan escaping your lips.

alex could scold you not to moan so loud because they were in public, but fuck, he liked it. he loved watching you practically cry while he fucked you dumb like he hated you. he loved praise you. and you loved being praised. not by anyone, but by him.

this was definitely the most intense, rough and nasty sex you had ever experienced. and you didn't know how much you loved it until you felt his cock filling your warm and wet cunt, you didn't know if the squeaking sound was because of the bike rocking to your rhythm or if it was your pussy that was so wet it was starting to squish.

you whimpered when his hand wrapped around your throat, the cold metal of his ring pressed right into your windpipe making you want to cough amidst your moans. his belt buckle hit your thigh, the tingling sound echoing through your ears as he thrusted hard into you, your greedy pussy was already creaming him to the brim, his abs tensed with the familiar feeling of an approaching climax.

you started to feel that pressure building right below your belly button, your knees threatening to fail, and his grip tightened on your waist, keeping you up. alex angled his hips, hitting your spot right on target, making you mewl, closing your eyes shut. he watched your face, knowing he had hit it. so he did it again. and again. and again.

‘’gonna cum for me again?’’ he asked with a satisfied smile on his lips, seeing you nodding immediately. ‘’yeah?’’' and he hitted that spot again, rolling his hips, the soft skin of your ass slapping against his pelvis, you could feel that region of him more assertively, feeling that the area had been trimmed. no pubic hair. at least not now on this first date.

‘’gonna cum for you, al, i'm gonna-’’ you stammered, almost letting a bit of saliva escape your mouth. you were so fucked up in a literal way, you could barely remember where you were and what day it was.

you clenched hard around his cock, almost making him stop. he let out a whimper. oh god, a whimper. you've heard him moan before, but they were rough, throaty moans. it was a whimper, a plea, a sign that he was getting sensitive and that he would cum at any moment, just waiting for you.

alex kissed your neck, doing his best not to leave visible marks on you, sinking inside you with lazy and sloppily thrusts, his fat tip hitting your cervix over and over again. your smell mixed with sweat felt like something heavenly, making him want to live in your skin, live inside you forever if it meant continuing to have this feeling.

your eyes rolled as you felt your orgasm hitting you like a bullet. your toes curled, your legs closed and your knees gave out as you whined, but he thrusted harder, forcing you to stand up again to finish, you squealed at how deliciously rough he was with you.

‘’wish i could fill you up with my cum, baby.’’ he groaned, his words already tying his own mind in knots, a chill ran through his body like electricity at the thought of filling you with his cum, marking you with it to the brim, and that was enough for him to cum, his hot cum shooting up your walls, being contained by the condom. you felt everything heat up even more inside you. ‘’mmm fucking hell…’’ he exhaled, his body stopping completely when he felt there was nothing left to come out, he had already emptied himself completely inside you. or rather, the condom.

you were shaking, still experiencing the aftershocks of your orgasm, feeling him loosen his grip on your throat, his fingers running through your hair, removing some from your sweaty face.

‘’are you okay?’’ he asked, searching your face. you licked your puffy pouty lips, a fucked out expression plastered on your face as a low chuckle escaped.

‘’yeah. i just need some time.’’ you admitted. he hummed in agreement.

‘’i'm gonna pull out, okay?’’ he announced softly, his hand on your waist lightly caressing you with his thumb as he disconnected from you, you hissed at the feeling. your sore pussy was already used to him as if it no longer made sense not to feel him filling you anymore. ‘’there you go, babe.’’ he cooed, massaging your lower back as you took a breath and found the strength to stand up.

he discarded the used condom, his sensitive and sticky cock was already inside his boxers. you turned around to see him, he was a fucking sight to behold. he smiled at you, a fucked out expression was also tattooed on his face along with his messy hair.

‘’what?’’ he asked, buckling his belt again.

‘’you're so hot.’’ you said almost in a whisper.

‘’uh oh. you're flattering me already.’’ he chuckled, almost shy at your compliment, circling his arms around you, caressing your exhausted body. alex kissed the top of your head, acting so delicate like he wasn’t fucking you like you’re a slut minutes ago. ‘’that was amazing, really. you are amazing.’’

you smiled, letting him spread sweet kisses over the top of your head. it wasn't like an aftercare in bed, with cuddles and a hot bath afterwards, but it was enough for you now. he was enough for you now.

‘’want some water?' i can buy some for us.’’ he asked you. you shook your head, even though your throat was dry now, you didn't want to bother him. he could sense it. ‘’you’re so stubborn.’’ he grumbled in a playful way, breaking the hug. ‘’be right back.’’

you laughed foolishly, watching him go back to the movie theater. you took the opportunity to put your panties back on, the lace panties were in your hand the whole time and you couldn't stay without your underwear all the time. alex came back with a bottle of cold water for you a few minutes later. you drank half of the bottle, leaving the other half for him. he let out a satisfied sigh when he finished, throwing the plastic bottle in the trash.

‘’can i take you home?’’

you thought about the offer. your parents couldn't even dream of seeing you arrive on a motorcycle owned by a 'stranger' but you also didn't want to turn down his ride.

‘’sure.’’ you smiled at him, accepting the ride. alex had an extra helmet that he kept under the seat of his motorcycle. not that he always took someone with him, it was more for occasional situations like this.

soon enough, you were on his bike, wrapping your arms around his waist. alex would sometimes accelerate exaggeratedly just to irritate you, your voice almost shrill amidst the frenzy of the streets telling him to slow down. he laughed and you laughed along, pinching his belly over the fabric of his shirt as you felt him speeding his bike through the streets. you loved the adrenaline, the wind cutting through your face partially covered by the helmet and the low sound of his laughter when you told him to slow down a little.

you had already hitched a ride on a motorcycle a few times, but now, somehow, it felt different. as if your body next to his warmed you up more than usual as you held on tight to him whenever he accelerated after the traffic light turned green.

and this heat got worse when you looked at him in the right rearview mirror, seeing that the helmet covered part of his face, leaving only his eyes focused on the traffic visible, his huge nose and a small part of his upper lip. you have to say that you had a certain kind of meltdown when he caught you looking at him by looking at your reflection in the mirror.

soon, he was parking his motorcycle next to your house, you asked him to drop you off a few houses earlier so as not to run any risks. deep down, you wished he would take longer to get there, but you didn't dare say it out loud as you handed the helmet back to him. there was still a hint of afterglow in the air as he put the helmet back in silence.

‘’so, did you like the movie?’’ he asked in a playful way. obviously he wasn't referring to the movie. you giggled.

‘’yeah. very much.’’ you smiled at him, feeling his arms back to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

‘’i loved it. i loved meeting you. you're so fucking prettier in person.’’ he said, taking in the sight of you under the amber streetlight.

he couldn't help but want to kiss you, making you have to tilt your face so your head wouldn't hit the visor of his helmet. you could taste yourself in his mouth, but you weren't the least bit worried about it, wanting to savor this moment before he left.

‘’i'll see you next week?’’ he asked after breaking the kiss, his face still close to yours.

‘’next week?’’ you asked, blinking a few times.

‘’yeah. there's going to be a get-together at the pub where i work next saturday.’’ he replied, making an informal invitation to you.

you needed to think a little. you didn't usually go to pubs, much less at night. you really needed to think before accepting. he smiled at you, pinching your cheek.

‘’don't worry, you'll have time to think. but the entrance is free.’’ he pecked your lips one last time. ‘’and i'll make sure to make the best margarita you've ever had in your life.’’

a/n: riiiiight. this is my first note here after post something, just a taglist for my babe 'cause she asked me to: @thenightslikeawhirlwind

(let me know if you want to be tagged too :3)

[andbreakmynose]

cowboy films on gloomy afternoons

you loved everything about working at your local cinema, besides that one employee who just really confused you. he's just as pretentious as you thought but maybe he's also... something else.

WARNINGS: smut!! p-in-v, soft dom! al, one use of slut, office sex, age gap (unspecified, reader is in university). this is really fucking self indulgent

WORD COUNT: 4.7k

written with tbhc alex in mind because tbh he's the only one i can imagine being this level of pretentious tbh

You believed that you truly had the perfect job. For a film student, working as the projectionist at the little independent cinema across the street really was too good to be true. You spent your long hours watching movies—the kind that mattered. Sometimes you’d get stuck with the blockbuster of the week, but you were mostly met with true classics and arthouse features, which not only stuck with you long after watching but actually helped you get ahead in class. Your workspace was cramped and less than ideal, but not even that made you hate the job. You were surrounded by what felt like cinema history in unused rolls of film and posters left over from all 78 years the theater had been open, plus there was a half-decent couch to nap on. And yeah, you got free soda and snacks from it. Perfect.

The company was nice too; if the film ran long and you felt like you needed to stretch your legs, you could walk down to the never-busy lobby and talk to Lucy at the concessions counter (and steal some food) or Dylan at the ticketing stand. Somehow you even got a pretty good boss; Marty was one of the coolest and most experienced people you had ever met. He also wasn’t ever that busy, so he could help you with your homework if you really needed it.

But there’s always that one confusing co-worker, isn’t there? The one that’s either always out for the day or just plain weird. You had Alex. He worked in programming, getting to decide what movies the theater would show regardless of anyone else’s opinions. And goddamn, he was really good at it. Almost every showing you saw was completely sold out (who knew Sheffield had such an audience for auteur films?). But every time you praised his talent, he’d just... shrug it off. He was an enigma wrapped in an encyclopedia of film knowledge.

The problem with Alex is that he was aloof and painfully so. At team meetings, he’d stay in the corner, and you never really saw him out of the office. He also had a habit of being fickle; one day he’d decide he wanted to do an entire week of Tarkovsky films, and the next he’d want to do 1940’s horror films instead. His behavior echoed the type of students that would be dismissed in your class as ‘obnoxiously pretentious’, and god he was, you still remembered the time he went off on poor Marty for suggesting they show a Star Wars movie. But you were still interested in what he had to say; you loved Lucy and Dylan, but they couldn’t hold a conversation about a movie. Alex could, you assumed, if he was able to hold a conversation at all.

The first time you ever talked to him in private was when you went to ask about the copy of the film that was being shown. You had heard there was both a director's cut and a theatrical cut, so you wanted to make sure which you were playing. He answered your question with one sentence; “Director’s. Why the hell would I pick the theatrical edition?” And then went back to his work. It was a while before you talked to him again.

The next time you talked to him was for the same reasons, he seemed a little deep in his work when you came down to his office but you had 20 minutes before credits hit and your boss needed you to do this now. It was something about a high paying donor having a desperate question, whatever.

This exchange was almost the same, except this time he insisted that it was the theatrical cut and that the director’s cut was cash-grab bullshit. Ever the confusing man. You started on your way out when he called at you.

“Hey, what’s your favorite movie?”

It was an unexpected question, he never asked you anything let alone a personal question. It must be a trap, he wanted to hear your favorite movie and then would make fun of you for it. And it’s not that you had bad taste or anything, you're just sure he could find a way to tease you for literally anything you said.

“C’mon, I don’t have all day.” He says, an almost bored expression on his face.

You hesitated in choosing your words, anxious not to provoke the irritation you had seen in men like Alex, even though you knew he was likely to remain impassive. And even though you hadn’t seen him lose his temper, his distant demeanor made you uneasy, as if any slight could provoke a reaction. You had no reason to be scared but you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease in your bones.

Alex on the other hand finally turned to face you fully. He had been observing you for a while, you were always around and so was he, and he noted that you also seemed genuinely interested in the films and not just your paycheck. He also found himself begrudgingly noticing that you always wore the same type of skirt, ending right above your knees. He thought that if you were a character in a film it’d be one of your defining traits.

“Mulholland Drive.” You coughed up after a second of thinking. It was an answer that was both honest and, perhaps, intended to impress him. You didn’t want to dwell on whether that was your true intention or not though, you had other things to do.

Alex felt a flicker of satisfaction at your choice. He anticipated a more predictable answer, so Mulholland Drive was certainly a more compelling choice. In his mind, it confirmed that his suspicions were true; you were a different type of girl than any other employee he had seen in his 10 years of working at this theater. Maybe he really was pretentious, but he felt like if anyone was to work with him it should be people like you. He gave you a satisfied nod and a hum of approval, returning to the emails at his desk. He found you just as mysterious as he found you, he wanted to tear down the layers you had shown to everyone else.

Taking that as your sign to leave, you made sure to stop at the concessions stand for a bag of popcorn before going back up to the projectionists booth.

Two weeks later was when things started to change.

Alex had started to smile more, but you decided that was just because it was warm outside again. He had an interesting smile, it was warm and took up his entire face. It wasn’t the smile you’d expect him to have, you expected him to have a sneer if he was even capable of smiling.

You always liked to look at the schedule of films for the next week when they dropped on Thursday afternoons, you’d compare it to your classes’ syllabus to see if there was anything you could watch to get ahead. It seemed like Alex had decided on cowboy films for the next week, he’d done Sergio Leone before but this was just… a lot of 1960’s cowboy movies you had never even heard of. Nothing that would be helpful at all for you.

In between ‘Navajo Joe’ and ‘Billy the Kid Versus Dracula’ (god, where did he even discover these things), your eyebrows shot up. In the midst of all these damn horse operas he had snuck in… Mulholland Drive.

To say there were a million thoughts going through your head would be an understatement. A small, selfish part of you wanted him to have included the film because he had a soft spot for you, maybe this was his way of saying he saw how much you liked movies too. The logical part of your brain told you that there was some other reason, maybe an anniversary or something.

Checking the remaining time on Sabrina (Alex was on an Audrey Hepburn kick this week), you saw you had an hour left. That was plenty of time to wander the lobby and see if you could catch Alex. You slipped your phone into your pocket and climbed down the ladder from the projectionist’s booth to the lobby, praying to every god possible that Alex is somewhere to be found.

Lucy called out to you the second she saw you, beckoning you over with popcorn. You sighed and walked over, smiling at her.

“Hey look, I can’t talk for too long… have you seen Alex? Urgent question from someone at the screening.” It’s an utter lie, your mother would’ve reprimanded you for how filthy it was. But you needed to talk to him.

Lucy thought for a second, tapping her chin with her finger before she remembered. “He’s in his office, he’s always in his office, remember?” She said like it’s the most obvious thing ever. You nodded and gave a thumbs up, taking a handful of popcorn in your mouth before standing up again.

And that’s how you ended up in his office again, although you were shyer this time. If it was actually a question from a patron you’d ask it so easily, but this time it was your own. He’d have to give you an insight into his mind, you weren’t sure if he had ever done that before.

Your foot tapped lightly as you knocked on the door to his office, you heard him shuffle some papers around and groan.

“Come in.”

You have to take a deep breath before you open the door, there’s no reason this stupid movie should be making you feel this nervous but god…

“You’re gonna make me watch shitty westerns for an entire week, Turner?” You say with a small smirk, you embarrassingly had thought of your words all day. You didn’t want to just come in and ask him about why he picked your favorite film.

His eyes darted over to you the second you walked in, slowly taking you in. You had on the same skirt as last time. “I was watching one at home last night and was reminded of how brilliant the genre was. What, you don’t like a good shoot-em-up?” He asks you with raised eyebrows, leaning back slightly in his desk chair. Of course he liked westerns.

“Not my thing at all.” You replied, taking a small step closer to him. His hair was messier today than it usually was, his beard had gotten longer. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a bit, although he never looked like he got a lot of sleep. “Is it yours? Is your favorite film a western?”

He took note of how you were asking his favorite, the same way he asked yours. Smart girl. He smirked and shook his head, “Nah. My favorite film is ‘Le Samouraï’, you seen it?” Alex wouldn’t judge if you hadn’t seen it, but if you have it just might make you his favorite person on the planet.

You have to rack your brain on what you’ve heard of this film before, maybe it’s been mentioned in class before, you haven’t seen it. “No. Is that a sin?” You asked, leaning against a file cabinet in his office. His office was definitely bigger than the projection booth, he had made it very Alex.

Alex scoffed and shook his head, “I’m sad you haven’t seen it because it’s so brilliant but not mad. They haven’t taught you Melville in that expensive film school yet? You’re getting ripped off, sweetheart.” He matched your comfortable stance by leaning further back into his desk chair and crossing his legs. He had noticed that you aren’t scared of him, not even intimidated by his knowledge. He liked that, he liked talking to you.

“I’ve heard the name, we just haven’t watched it yet.” You respond, looking for the next thing to say to bring you to your point. “But I guess you’ve seen my favorite film, right? I saw you included Mulholland Drive in the lineup, was that a coincidence or are you being deliberate?”

Alex laughed at your words, of course you picked up on that. You really were too smart for your own good. “Well I suppose it’s a bit of both. I wanted something different in case not every regular audience member was on board with my westerns-’ he paused to roll his eyes, as if that thought disgusted him, “but yes. I figured it might be a pleasant surprise for someone with a discerning taste.” His eyes met yours and he smiled again, mostly because he saw a smile creeping on your face. He wanted to keep you smiling.

There was something about him admitting that it’s for you that made you feel… something. You didn’t quite know what. Maybe excited? You were excited and felt validated that he found your taste in film good enough to put on a lineup. You liked that he was perceiving you. “You’re saying you picked it for me? And here I thought you were just gonna be cryptic... What's your angle here?” You asked him; the smile was still on your face, but now your eyebrows were raised.

“Ah.” Alex uncrossed his legs, finally standing up. He got a little closer to you; he wanted to make stronger eye contact with you. “A great teacher back when I was in film school told me that it’s not just about what you watch; it’s about connecting. Maybe it’s all worth it if I can connect with someone who also appreciates the genius of Mulholland Drive.” Pretentious bastard; even his flirting was fucking pretentious. You would’ve made fun of him if you weren’t fighting back a blush.

You took another second to decide your words; it wasn’t often you were speechless, but you were now. "Well, I didn’t expect you to remember, let alone care enough to do that. Maybe there’s more to you than I thought... but don’t get any ideas about being my hero because you saved me from a complete week of westerns.” You had to throw an quip in there; without it, you thought your words felt too… vulnerable. You weren’t sure you were there with Alex yet.

He had to admit that you were funny, even if it was obvious what you were trying to say. He let out a laugh and shook his head. “I’m not trying to be your hero, sweetheart. I just figured that someone who loves the film as much as you deserves to see it on the big screen. Even if it’s from your tiny projection booth.”

His words, once again, leave you stunned. That was really sweet—maybe the top 5 sweetest things anyone had ever done for you. It was almost impossible not to blush and grin at him, and your body betrayed you by making you step forward. “Yeah? That’s… nice. But if you’re not trying to impress me, what’s your real game here? Or do you just have a thing for making people feel special?” You asked him; your smile was somewhere between teasing him and being genuinely flattered.

“You are special.” He responded, also taking a step forward. You started to feel his breath on your face; somehow just this one conversation had made you go from being terrified of him and thinking he’s so pretentious to wanting him.

As if he could read your mind, he reached forward and placed his hand on your hip, giving it a small squeeze. “Maybe I just enjoy challenging expectations; I can’t always be the mysterious bastard in the office. And like I said, you’re special.” His voice lowered, and his face got impossibly closer to yours.

Against all odds of being at work, and that just a week ago you thought he was the most confusing man on the planet, you needed to fucking kiss him. And you did; you took a half step forward and smashed your lips against his. He kept his hand on your hip, squeezing the soft skin as he pushed your back against the filing cabinets. You guessed that he wanted you as bad as you wanted him because he was practically sucking your face; you thought that was just a saying. It was an absolute mess of tongue on tongue and teeth on teeth; your noses even collided a few times as his beard scratched your face. It was uncomfortable in the best way; it was damn hot.

You moaned the very first second you felt his hand grope at your ass and his mouth slip from your lips to your neck. “So fucking pretty, so good,” he muttered before he started to attack your neck. It was an added sensation to have his beard pressing against you alongside his mouth (and teeth; he almost teethed at you). He definitely would leave more marks than just hickeys, but you were so in pleasure you didn’t even have time to think of work.

Oh fuck, work. You cursed silently to yourself and looked up at the clock, just as his hand started to snake under your blouse and over your bra, giving your tit a nice squeeze. “Fuck!” you called out, not just from the intense pleasure but from the fact that you only had another 30 minutes left before you told yourself you needed to be back in the booth. In an ideal world, you’d have an entire night with him.

He continued his mouth’s attack on your neck and hand’s attack on your breasts, feeling his pants start to become tighter; he could only imagine how wet you were. His fantasies were interrupted by you pulling him away and sighing, trying to catch your breath. “Alex… Alex I don’t have much time before I need to go. Do you want-”

He interrupted you this time with his hand coming up to squeeze your lips together, promptly making you shut up. “You got enough time for me to fuck you? Because I’m going to fuck you,” he said as if he'd already decided, and then he started to work with the hand not on your face to unbuckle his belt.

You weren’t able to really form words, so you just whined and nodded, giving him that permission he wanted. He took it quickly, flipping you over and bending you over his desk, your tiny skirt riding up so he could get a view of your pants. You were soaked; he knew you would be. His large thumb started to trace your folds before he made a ‘tsk’ noise and flipped you over again. He wanted to see your face, he decided. Alex Turner was nothing if not confusing.

“This wet only from a little kissing, god, sweetheart, I didn’t know I was dealing with a slut. Although I could’ve guessed from these tiny skirts you keep wearing.” His voice is cool and calm, a complete contradiction from how sinful his words were. You whined at them.

“Alex please. We don’t have much time; please just fuck me!” You cried out, hastily pulling your skirt down so he had easier access. Alex nodded and began to work faster on pulling his pants down. He was so goddamn aroused watching you act like this; you were such a gorgeous girl, and now he had you completely under his control. You moaned loudly, and he grunted, bringing his hand up over your mouth.

“Sweetheart, I’d love to hear all those pretty little noises, but not now. I’m not getting fired because you had to talk all sweet to me and get bent over.” It was an unholy whisper into your ears, causing your skin to shiver. You nodded, and he took that as a sign to slip your panties down. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt.”

If it was even possible, his words caused you to get even wetter. You could’ve guessed that he was big from the hardness in his jeans, but by the time he slipped his pants and boxers off, you were left gasping against his hand. There was an underlying fear—how the hell was that supposed to fit inside of you?—but also a great arousal because THAT was supposed to be inside of you. Alex tilted his head down to look at your pussy before he smirked, adjusting himself so he could get closer to your entrance.

Your cunt started to clench around nothing, getting excited just at the sheer closeness of his cock. He looked at your entrance again before he spat on his hand and started to rub it along his length as extra lubrication. “I don’t want to hurt you, babygirl,” he whispered before gently forcing the head into your heat, causing you to scream against his hand.

He shushed you again as he kept pushing himself further in; all of your tiny moans and whines were hidden by his hand, but that was for the best; he’d hear them eventually. You were so tight, so warm, and in that very moment Alex decided he was never going to fuck another girl in his life.

When he bottomed out, you gave in and bit at his hand; it was the only way you could keep an actual scream from coming out. You felt so full, you could even feel him throbbing in your cunt (or maybe that was your walls clenching; it could be both). He smirked and started to move, setting a pace that was relentless. He’d prefer to take you apart slower, but you didn’t exactly have the time for that.

His cock was hit every spot in you that made you mewl and arch your back; it was like he knew things about your body that you didn’t. His eyes were focused like you were one of those damn emails he was always writing; it was hot to you that he was that focused on your pleasure. Gentle grunts started to fall out of his mouth as the hand not on your mouth came up to twist at your nipples. The pleasure was starting to become unbearable, and you weren’t sure how much longer you had until you started crying.

You knew you were close when a particularly hard thrust caused your eyes to roll so far back in your head it hurt, so you brought your thumb down to your clit. You needed to cum, and you didn’t care what you had to do to achieve that.

Alex cared though; he wanted to be the one to make you cum. He took his hand off of your nipple and smacked yours off your clit, causing you to whine at the loss of sensation. “None of that. If you needed that, you could’ve just asked,” he grunted, bringing his thumb down to your sensitive bud. It was a funny thing for him to say, as you couldn’t exactly speak, but you still bucked up at his manipulation.

His pace started to become sloppy; you knew he was close too. His breath was also starting to become staggered, and you could almost see a tremble in his legs. You’d never seen him this undone, and it was so damn arousing that you caused it. Alex had already memorized all the spots that made you shake and whine; he knew you were close, so he made sure to hit them all on his thrusts. He knew he didn’t have much time left, and he wanted to make sure you didn’t leave unsatisfied.

It was a particular stroke where he somehow managed to hit your g-spot and pinch your clit at the same time that had you over the top. You felt your legs start to shake and your back arched. You were sure the noises coming from your mouth were starting to get louder than his hand-cranked control, but you didn’t care. You didn’t even care when your hand spilled the pencil cup on his desk all over the floor. All you cared about was that you were cumming and he was making you cum.

Alex grinned at the sight of you becoming this undone because of him. That was what sent him over the edge—the idea that it was his work that just made you coat his member in juices. He pushed until the last second, until his cock was actually twitching, and then he pulled out. The loss of contact was hardly noticed, and he came all over his office floor just by seeing how fucked out you were. You still hadn’t caught your breath, but you were watching him with awe. His dick was really damn nice, and now it was leaking so much cum onto the floor.

He collapsed onto his desk chair and reached for a tissue from his desk. He wiped off his cock before tucking it back into his boxers and then wiped off your pussy, cleaning up the table too. He threw the tissue away and made a mental note to take his own office trash out later.

Once you had caught your breath enough, you stood up, legs still wobbly, and put your pants back on. It took a second, but eventually you had them and your skirt on. Alex just smirked at you.

“That was... good,” you said with a small smile. You were starting to get shy being around him; you just fucked him, and now you had to go back to work.

“It was. You’re uh, you’re perfect. I meant it when I said you’re special.” His smirk turns into a genuinely warm smile, and he brings his thumb up to trace your chin. There was a faint mark on your mouth from him keeping you quiet. You looked down at his cum on the floor, raising your eyebrows in a silent offer to clean it up. He just shook his head; he’d deal with that.

You nodded and sighed, “I should probably get back to work... I don’t look like I just had sex, do I?” Your hair was slightly messy and your shirt was wrinkled, but it also always was. “No one will notice sweetheart,” he replied with a bit of a laugh. He was glad this was your secret.

"Right, uh, thank you, Alex?” It comes out as a question; you’re not sure if you should thank your co-worker for making you cum like that. He shook his head and stood up. “No, thank you for being such a damn good fuck and a special girl.”

You smiled at this; his words gave you a slight hope that maybe this would happen again. You opened his door when he called out to you.

“Sweetheart, I was thinking that maybe I could come up with you and watch Mulholland Drive next week.” It was an optimistic idea; he was worried that you only wanted to fuck. But you grinned and nodded, “I’d really love that; we even have a couch up there.”

He chuckled and stepped closer to you, placing his hand on your chin again. “A couch, fancy!” He joked before he pressed a singular peck on your lips; he wanted you to know that you meant something more than a fuck in the only way he knew how. He wasn’t exactly the best with words. You laughed back at him.

“Alright then, it’s a date.” You grinned at him before leaving his office; you would’ve stayed longer, but time really was running out. You were so lucky that Lucy seemed to be on a bathroom break; you didn’t have to deal with her asking why you were in Alex’s office for so long.

When you got settled back in the projection booth and the credits began to roll, you took a minute to think about what the fuck had just happened, and when you opened your phone, the list of his stupid fucking westerns was still on it. But that was Alex, and maybe you liked that about him.

A/N: yeah like i said... self indulgent (i used to work at a cinema lol). but i'm already obsessed with this version of alex ahh.

[captainwans]

LAST TRAIN TO LONDON.

pairing: professor!alex turner x student!fem!oc

word count: 6.5k words

━━ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄. | 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑶𝑵𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮.

summary: nina collett is many things. she’s a devoted mother, a loyal friend, a daughter, and a dedicated student. each aspect of her life has challenges and its sacrifices and she is forced to confront these, demanding her constant attention. amidst the whirlwind of responsibilities and emotions, she finds her professor becoming more involved in her life than she expected, adding another layer of turbulence to her already chaotic life. balancing the fine line between professional boundaries and personal feelings was more difficult than she anticipated, all while she was trying to keep her life from unraveling.

warning: this series contains mature scenes, sexual references, character death, vulgar language, mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, age gap (student in her twenties), an excruciating slow-burn (now i’m being dramatic, but you get the picture), other triggering topics, and all the feels (—i’m talking about sweet-teeth rotting fluff that makes you want to evaporate. or soul wrenching angst that feels like a punch in the gut). if any of themes, opinions or content upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, feel free to message me, or simply, do not read it.

𝓝ina fiddled with her lighter, soft curses emitting from her lips when it didn’t ignite. She cupped her cigarette with one hand, and the corner of her eyes crinkled as she tried to assault her lighter to catch any sparks of fire. After a few tries, a small but weak fire ignited, and she didn’t hesitate to place the cigarette close to the lighter. She placed the stick to her lips, cheeks hollowed before puffing out the smoke. She let out a content sigh, the cigarette resting between her fingers as she let her back hit the platform. 

Nina stared through space, her mind working overtime as she waited for her last train home. Exhaustion engulfed her body like a blanket and she had to close her eyes for a second, her lips turning into a tired sneer as a yawn escaped from her mouth. She had spent the weekend with her closest friends and family, celebrating her best friend for who had just become a new mother. Her lips curled into a smile, the idea of Breana being a mother sent a fluttering warmness into her chest. But that warmness soon manifested into a heavy feeling, more toward herself at her role of being a mother—which she knew Breana would do a hell of a lot job better than her. 

It wasn’t that she was a bad mother—-no, far from it. Her daughter means the world to her and she loves her one-year-old with every fiber of her being. Mathilda was the center of her universe. Every decision, every choice, and every sacrifice had been made for her and it would continue to be so. Yet, as she was watching Breana’s newborn cuddled in his father’s arms, a prickling pain stirred inside her chest. It was a painful reminder that she could never give Mathilda the chance to meet her father.

The tragic fate of her fiancé, Josh, along with carrying a child left a scar deeper than she imagined. Guilt and shame stirred within her, filling every crevice of her brain and shaking her to the core. She often found herself replaying the moment she learned of his death, each replay worsening her misery. It was a memory filled by the harsh words of her mother-in-law, who had called her stupid and an embarrassment. Josh had died in a car accident during a heavy storm, an accident Nina blamed on herself because she had asked him to run some errands that day. It’s your fault. He is dead because of you. Her voice echoed inside her mind, leaching her sense of self. Suddenly, the idea of being a mother with dreams and ambitions felt too far out of reach. It didn’t seem so appealing anymore. She felt hollow, overwhelmed, and scared by the thought of raising a child on her own and finishing her studies seemed like an impossible task.

In the midst of the storm, Nina refused to give up. She kept thinking of Josh and she knew he would never want this for her. Being shunned by her in-laws gave her the chance to focus on what truly mattered—her own family. She didn’t have the best relationship with her parents growing up, but when Mathilda was born, everything changed. Suddenly, there were daily calls, frequent visits, and a lot more affection than she was used to. It felt strange at first, but she slowly got used to it, realizing that she wouldn’t trade it for anything. This was her chance to heal old wounds and finally make things right. 

Mathilda was her own little sunshine—a bright and joyful child who filled the house with laughter, giggles, and warmth. It was something Nina hadn’t known that she needed so much. By looking into those big, innocent eyes, she knew she was going to be okay and that Josh would always be with her, living through Mathilda. Being a mother was the hardest task in her life, but it was also the best task she could ever ask for.

“This is the last train to London. No other trains are leaving for London today.” A male announcer’s monotonic tone pulled her out of her melancholy, making her sigh before throwing her lifeless cigarette on the ground. She stomped on the stick with her heel, hands tightening her bag that was securely wrapped around her shoulder. She stood in line among many others, eyes darting around her. Her hazel eyes found a child, whose doe-eyes were boring into hers as she sat on her mother’s shoulders. 

Nina felt her heart swell, the way the child’s eyes glowered from the lights above, reminding her of her sweet baby girl who was waiting for her to come home. The little girl on her mother’s shoulder brought her little hands up to wave, which she gladly did the same as her lips curved into a sweet smile. She watched a big toothy grin etch onto the baby’s face, lips emitting small giggles. The mother looked up, moving her gaze to where her daughter was looking at. The woman politely smiled toward the female, her head nodding in greeting as she gripped her child’s hands. “She’s pretty, isn’t she, bub?” 

Nina’s heart fluttered, eyes softening at the little girl shyly nodding her head. She hummed, smiling at the woman. She turned her head back to her daughter, a wide smile reaching her features. “And aren’t you the cutest thing ever?” she cooed, fingers tickling her side earning a happy beam. Some turned their heads to the interaction, smiles forming their tired faces, and others who stood in line impatiently and just wanted to hop on the train.

Nina stepped onto the train, her heels loudly clanking against the hard metal ground causing a few heads to turn her way. She felt heat wash over her, blood rushing through her ears at the unwanted attention as she squeezed herself into the cramped space of passengers trying to blend in. Her lips pressed into a thin line, eyebrows furrowed with discomfort as she swarmed into the heavy mass of bodies occupying the exit area. 

She bit her lip, stifling back a groan, feeling someone’s heel stepping on her toes. She clenched her jaw, her narrowed eyes darting across the packed ambiance as she looked for empty seats or even a place to stand. Much to her dismay, it was none as it was inhabited by many other frustrated passengers. She fixed the strap of her bag and clutched it tightly against her body, eyes still searching. But as she was looking her eyes locked with none other than her professor, whose eyes were hesitant, but soft as he gave her a polite smile in greeting.

Her heart leaped out of her chest, feeling a dust of crimson dancing across her cheeks. She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, returning his smile with an uncertain simper, mostly to herself as she was contemplating whether or not he was smiling at her or someone else. “Excuse me, ma’am.” 

A rough voice startled her out of her state, head snapping toward a man who was standing beside her, looking rather impatient. She sheepishly apologized, realizing where she was standing, and moved to the side. She blew her cheek out with a heavy breath as her feet led her toward the other side of the train, hand gripping the metal pole tightly.

Her mind started wandering back to him, who was standing a few feet away from her. She could only see his face as his figure was covered by commuters standing in the middle of the train. She wondered what he was wearing since she was used to his formal attire—suit pants, black striped shirt, sometimes a plain white shirt and if you took a closer look you could see a small silver chain wrapped delicately around his neck. A warm feeling settled into her stomach and she cringed for feeling this way about her own professor. It wasn’t like she was in love with him like any other student was, but she couldn’t help but immerse in the idea of seeing him under different circumstances.  

There wasn't that much of an age gap between them and by the looks of it, he looked fairly young compared to other professors and employees in the university. The subject of age seemed to be the most appealing amongst the students, especially for the female students who gave him heart eyes whenever he entered the lecture room. Most of his lectures included cheeky and flirty remarks from the girls in the front row, desperate to grasp his attention. Nina was quite the opposite, well—Mr. Turner was definitely appealing to her eyes, but due to her shame and bashful nature, she prefers to keep her fantasies and opinions to herself. She has for certain thought about him rearranging her insides in the classroom once or twice, but you didn’t hear that from her. 

Besides her infatuation, she finds him incredibly intelligent and a good lecturer. Mr. Turner is quite the talker, which is not surprising with the way the girls are piling up his feet, but that part seems to be irrelevant to him. And she liked that about him—he’s only here to do his job, nothing more. She usually sits in the front row, but distances herself from the annoyingly loud girls who wanted nothing more than to sleep with him. 

     “Mr. Turner, what are your plans this weekend?” A student interrupted the professor mid-sentence, earning his attention as his eyes averted away from the projector, toward the young female who leaned closer against the table with a flirtatious smile. 

     The lecturer held his breath, lips pressed into a thin line as he narrowed his eyes at her. “Nothing that concerns you,” he replied with a tip-lipped smile, brushing off her flirtatious nature as he placed his hands on his hips before clearing his throat. “As I was saying….” he continued with his lecture, ignoring the hushed whispers coming from the girls in the front row. 

     This went back and forth and Nina fought the urge to roll her eyes at one of them as she scribbled down a few words in her notebook. She bit her lip in concentration, eyebrows creasing her forehead whilst trying to pay attention to what he was saying among the loud whispers that were filling every crevice of her brain. She tsked, face morphing into a scowl as she shared a look with her friend, who was sitting beside her just as annoyed.

     Her irritation, along with the rest of the class, seemed to catch his attention, the character in her eyes mirroring his as he noticed her look of discomfort. He paused, causing the room to be quiet too. The hushed whispers and murmurs seemed to cease, everyone holding their breath in anticipation. 

     Mr. Turner stepped closer to his audience, eyes darting across the room as he studied the state of his students. He licked his lips before speaking, hand gripping his projector controller. “Raise your hand if you’re deeply disturbed by the people from the front seat.” he simply told his students with his hand raised, voice calm and stoic. 

     Nina wanted to laugh at how the girls’ expressions changed, looking behind them to see that everyone raised their hand in the air, including her as they voiced their shared complaints. She quietly snickered, covering a hand over her mouth, earning his attention. She saw a glint in his eyes before he moved his head toward his class. “If you’re here for the sake of learning, you’re seated. If there are other reasons, you may leave,” he ordered, sauntering backward.

     His arm was stretched, the controller in his hand marking a red dot pointed toward the door. “The door is right behind me,” he said once again, a small smile reaching his face as he watched the spectacle in front of him. The seats were rearranged as half of the class started leaving, making some students who were seated cheer in delight, making her stifle back a grin. 

     She slumped back into her seat, deeply exhaling as she mumbled incoherent things under her breath. “Thank God,” she sighed, earning a response from her friend. She fixed her posture, hands running over her notes to see where she left off. 

     She watched Mr. Turner’s lips curve upwards, watching them leave the lecture room before moving his head back to his remaining students. She watched his eyes trailing over the front row, and she almost jumped when he locked eyes with her. He gave her a smile and she didn’t know if she was delusional, but she swore she saw him winking at her.

A harsh collision between her and another passenger brought her out of her daydream, feeling their body trapping her against the window. She let out a raspy gasp, the burning ache on her side clawing its way to her throat. She quietly hissed, face forming into a scorn as she brought a hand to her right side. “Fuck,” she murmured, rubbing the area which she knew was going to be a nasty bruise.

Nina’s ears burned with their profuse apologies, and she had to swallow back a shady remark that would probably kick her out of the train. She gritted her teeth in pain, jaw so tightly clutched that she could only nod her head, sending a sharp smile their way before moving her gaze forward. Much to her luck, her eyes found his once again—this time clouding with genuine concern. 

Blood rushed through her face, feeling herself getting hot as her thoughts spiraled out of control. The thought of him watching her getting slammed into the window was enough for her to cringe internally. She looked away for a second, and looked back at him before glancing beside her, unsure eyes looking for another suitable person that he sent his concerns to. She cursed inside her mind, clenching her jaw before looking back at him with a finger pointed at herself. 

Mr. Turner’s lips curved upwards, eyes tinted with amusement as he nodded his head. He watched her mouth turn into an “o”, realization forming her features as she gave him a polite yet bashful smile before nodding. He saw her quickly moving her head, eyes looking elsewhere while being squeezed between two passengers. He felt her discomfort and he wanted to reach out to her and have him close to his side, but he knew that was too far out of his reach. 

The professor’s mind was a hurricane. It was violently raging, swirling, and spinning that it was hard to tell where it was all leading. He looked away, gaze moving away from her toward the hard ground with a puzzled expression. A heavy feeling tugged at his chest. It was like something or someone was sitting on his ribs, crushing till he couldn’t breathe. His eyebrows creased his forehead and he brought his hand up to his chest, clutching his shirt into a fist as if he was trying to remove the shame that was latched into his heart. 

Alex knew it was wrong—very wrong. He had overstepped his boundaries, and he was fighting for his life to keep it professional. He exhaled with a heavy breath, chest heaving as he tried to shake the image of her from his mind. But it was no use; from the moment he saw her in his first lecture, he knew he was doomed. Those hazel eyes, so intently focused on him, seemed to see right through him. The way she listened so intently, with genuine interest and engagement, made him feel a magnetic pull he couldn’t resist. It was as if her presence alone made him feel seen and valued.

Nina was top of his class, exceeding in every topic psychology had to offer. Her grasp of the subject was remarkable and her passion left him sometimes dumbfounded with her captivating insights and perspectives. She definitely left a profound impression on everyone around her—including him. Although she was reserved and quiet during most of his lectures, she had other ways to stand out as the shining star of his class. She was often seated at the front, nose buried in her notebook as she was scribbling down every word that came out of his mouth. She had ‘I’m smart and intelligent’ tattooed on her forehead, and he wasn’t all surprised when some of her classmates desperately volunteered to be in the same discussion group as her. He didn’t want to be the professor who had favorite students, but she was an exception.

     Nina walked forward with a stoic expression, eyes looking anywhere as she got lost in her inner world as she was on her way to her next lecture. She had her books close to her chest, arms crossed like two swords along with her tote bag tightly strapped to her shoulder. Her Chelsea boots skimmed smoothly down the marble floor, fastening their pace as she noticed the hallway slowly turning into traffic. 

     She grimaced, looking at the many students engulfed around the ambiance, just like her, trying to get to their class. Her stomach turned into knots, thoughts wandering over to her professor’s nagging and whining over her lateness. Her professor was a woman in her late 40s, mostly very sweet, but she was very picky and strict over time and punctuality. She could already hear her voice at the back of her head, and she was so immersed in the thought of Mrs. Williams that she didn’t notice someone walk her way. 

     Before her brain could register the sound of her books dropping, along with her glasses, her body collided with a hard chest. She lost balance and fell backward, her body dropping down the hard marble floor with a thud. Her lips emitted a small whimper, eyes squinting as her hands looked for her glasses amidst a busy crowd filled with students. “Shit,” she mumbled, a cloud entering her vision and she felt a burning ache on her right wrist.

     “I am terribly sorry. Here let me help,” she heard a deep–yet soft voice fill inside her eardrums, causing her to look up. She scorned, blinking a few times as she looked in front of her with her blurry vision. Her hand took hold of her glasses and she put them on, seeing the world clearly. 

     She noticed that her book was no longer on the floor and she instinctively looked up, gazing up to see Alex’s apologetic expression while he held his hand for her to help her on her feet. Crimson danced across her cheeks, along with a furiously beating heart as she slowly took his hand. 

     Nina gently brushed him off, voice soft as he hoisted her up to her feet. “N-No, please. I was in my own bubble and didn’t notice you walking towards me.” she sheepishly apologized with a shy smile as she felt him squeeze her hand before letting go, and she hated that he let go. 

     Alex chuckled, “I guess we’re both a little out of it today, huh?” he jested as the pair moved to the side, sauntering away from the busy crowd toward the end of the stairs. Nina held onto the stair rail, eyes looking at the people passing through the big hall. She locked eyes with her friend, standing beside the vending machine, who was looking at her with a knowing look. She gave her a glare at her giving her thumbs up, feeling heat creep upon her face before she moved her attention elsewhere. 

     “Your hand?” His voice pulled her attention toward him, watching his frown deepen as he watched her bruised wrist from the fall. She watched him hesitate for a second, fingers rubbing together before grabbing the hold of her wrist. The warmth from her face made it ten times worse, feeling the blood rush through her ears as she listened to her beating heart. 

     Guilt prickled his chest, lips screwed up as he gently rubbed the bruise. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled in a faint apology, rough fingers moving in a circle pattern as if the bruise would go away. He bit his lower lip, fingers halting his gesture before he finally let go of her hand. He looked at her, a small smile reaching his face as he felt a war inside his mind. He cursed inside his head, feeling like he crossed a line between being professional and overstepping boundaries.  

     Nina didn’t seem to mind. She watched him, heart stuttering against her chest at his touch. Her jaw slacked, and she saw him moving his head, eyes looking at her. She realized that she hadn’t said anything and she blinked before clearing her throat, bashfully smiling. “Oh, it’s fine, really.” she brushed him off, ignoring the throbbing pain on her wrist. She let out a small chuckle. “It’s not the first time I’ve hurt myself going down this hallway. The amount of times I’ve tripped and fallen is pretty concerning.” she tried to lighten up, ceasing some of the guilt that was reaching his eyes. 

     Alex’s chest rumbled with a deep chuckle, lips curving upwards at her simper. He let his body lean against the stair rail, gaze averting away from her toward the busy hall. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like watching the Hunger Games or something. I don’t get why they’re all in a rush, though.” he said, lips pressed into a thin line. 

     Nina bit her lip, eyes darting across his handsome features. She looked back at the hall, shrugging with a grin, eyes tinted with playfulness. “Could be a race against who would get to your class first. You see those girls?” she said, pointing a finger at them. “Yeah, definitely in a hurry to sit in the front seat.” she joked, lips emitting a small giggle before turning her head to him.

    Alex grimaced, shaking his head with a laugh. “Oh, god no.” he let out a breathy chuckle, licking his lips. His eyes sparked. “They’re definitely running to Miles’ class. Heard they dropped out of psychology and are taking music studies instead,” he told her, scoffing at the end making her mouth gape open. 

     “What? Really?” She expressed, eyes wide almost building out its sockets as she watched him nodding his head. His eyes danced at her reaction, sending an amused smile her way. “Mhm. Think Miles can handle it, though. He loves the attention.” he said with another chuckle, referring to his colleague and close friend.

     Nina’s eyes lit up at the mention of the music professor. She remembered that he was a substitute for Alex one time and she grew very fond of him during that lecture. Miles Kane was very jovial and full of energy, which seemed to match her class, as they developed a liking to him. While he had no such expertise with Mr. Turner’s subjects, Miles sure had an interesting way of presenting given topics with his competence—being music. 

     She thought about Mrs. Williams’ class and she knew she was already running late, but she couldn’t seem to find the energy to care as she was glued beside her favorite professor indulging in a conversation—which was the longest conversation she’d ever had with him, ever.

     “See you in class at three?” Alex asked with a gentle smile, hope tinted in his voice as he changed the subject.

     He watched her face morph into a small frown as she shook her head. “Sorry. I have a dentist appointment.” He nodded in understanding, his face clouding with slight disappointment at her absence from today’s lecture, but that look quickly vanished as it rapidly appeared. This went unnoticed by the latter and he watched her eyes lit up.

     “Oh, by the way. I couldn’t send the last assignment because my computer is not working at the moment, but I did print it and–uh, wait…I think I got it. I’ll give it to you. Hold on.” she bubbled, words mumbling incoherent words as she roamed her hands around her bag to look for her papers. 

     The professor’s deep chuckle filled her ears, causing a tremor of butterflies to swarm into her stomach. She felt his hand rest on her arm, making her look up. She hated that she was so easily susceptible to him. She felt hot under his touch. She watched him shake his head, slowly pulling his hand away making her frown. “Don’t even worry about it.” 

     Her heart stuttered against her chest, making her let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She pouted, “Are you sure, Mr. Turner?” she asked him, doe-eyes looking into his soft caramel orbs that she shamefully had grown to love. 

     He nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. “Don’t sweat it. and besides…You’re my A student, and I know that with this assignment it will be just as strong as the others. Your writing is…. incredibly remarking, I must say. I really admire your passion for this subject.” he gushes, lips curving upwards at her response. 

     Nina’s features went from a bashful expression to an appreciative look. Her lips morphed into a smile, showing her teeth as the rapid of her chest stuttered. His words kept repeating inside her head like a mantra and she covered her fingers on her mouth to hide a big grin. She bit her lip, eyes sparking. “T-Thank you, Mr. Turner.” she shyly accepted his compliment, eyes softening at the way he was looking at her with another polite simper. 

     The professor hummed with a tip-lipped smile, mouth closing as the pair fell into silence. Alex’s eyes danced, mirroring the way his stomach swooned with butterflies. He felt a tug at his heartstrings, chest prickling for developing such feelings for his student. As much as he tried to resist, he couldn’t help but let his eyes linger longer on her face. It traced down every feature, every line, and then back to her hazel eyes before trailing down to her lips. 

     “Mr. Turner?” he slightly jumped, her honey-filled voice pulling him back to reality. He blinked, noticing her looking at him with a look he couldn't quite decipher, with her head tilted to the side. Blood rushed through his face, a flustered expression forming his handsome features as he realized that he had been mindlessly staring at her without knowing. He let out a breathy chuckle, heart palpitating against his chest as his lips emitted small apologies. 

     She hummed with a small giggle, shaking her head at him. “It’s quite alright,” she reassured, eyes soft as she watched him let out another chuckle. 

     Alex sighed, loudly cursing inside his head and he looked down at his hands realizing that he was still holding her books. His eyes widened, his brain registering that she was probably headed to her class. “Right…uh–your books. I am so sorry. Here. I’ll see you next week then.” Alex stuttered, handing over her books before clearing his throat and turning on his heel. He grimaced, cursing internally while having his back to her as he fastened his pace. 

     Way to go, Alex. He thought.

Alex snapped out of his state, his tired eyes moving from the filthy ground toward her, again. He quickly looked away as a small curse emitted from his lips, feeling like a predator watching his prey. He ran a hand over his hair, his hand carding through his locks, his nails lightly scraping at his scalp. He closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping from his lips, and letting his back hit the wall. Stop looking at her, you fucking creep. He thought to himself, jaw clenched so hard that it would break at any second. 

Should I ask her to stand beside me, or is that weird? He thought, his handsome features morphing into a grimace. He bit his lower lip, hand tightening around the grip handle as he was battling internal turmoil. But she looks uncomfortable, though. Should I do it–no, fuck. It makes you look weird—His train of thought was abruptly interrupted by an awkward cough coming from behind him. “Excuse me.”

Alex shifted his body to the side while his hand was holding the grip handle to prevent him from falling. He looked at them, eyes apologetic as he let them through. He felt heat flood over his face, realizing that he had taken up the entire space. He was so immersed in his own world that he forgot everything else around him. 

A small giggle earned his attention, head whirled toward the sound coming next to him. His gaze softened, watching a little girl nestled into her mother’s arms. The child had her eyes on him, doe-eyes curiously staring at him with a happy beam. His lips curled up, bringing his hand out to wave. Her reaction was laughable, making Alex chuckle as he watched her shyly hide her face in her mother’s chest. 

He moved his gaze away, eyes staring through empty space. He felt eyes on him, making him clench his jaw. He knew it was her and he felt her boring her eyes into the side of his head. It felt like he was going to have holes in his temple and he was contemplating his next actions. When he couldn’t handle it anymore, he finally looked over at her, still in the same uncomfortable position with commuters wedged between her. 

Alex felt his heart skip a beat as he watched her sending him a small smile. He returned her smile, eyes growing tender. ‘Are you okay?’ he mouthed, referring to her current state. His stomach turned into knots, watching her huddled into a corner, trapped into the cramped space. He saw her nod her head, shoulders shrugging as she gave him a tired look. Fuck it, I’m doing it. he thought.

The never ending battle inside his head ceased and he didn’t know where the sudden confidence came from. The professor gestured with his head to the space next to him, indicating for her to stand. He saw her face etch into a confused look, tilting her head to the side. He gave her a look, eyes tinted with slight amusement and he gestured with his hand, pointing next to him. 

Realization dawned on her face. A flustered expression formed her delicate features, lips curled up as she mirrored his simper with a shy nod. She looked beside her, noticing a passenger asleep on her shoulder. She blew out a small breath, face gracing with a scorn as she carefully moved her shoulder. She shifted her body to the side, making the person’s head hit the window. She stifled back a laugh, chewing on her bottom lip as she was trying to squeeze through the crowded space. 

Nina deeply exhaled, not realizing she was holding her breath. Her eyes found him as she was walking toward him, whose face was painted with amusement at her situation. Her lips curved up, a dust of pink dancing across her cheeks as she held her bag close to her body. Her other hand was gripping on the rubber handle to keep her from falling, but the train lurched causing her to stumble on her feet. She gripped on the handle with both hands, feeling the train sped along the tracks, swaying side to side that made it difficult to walk. 

“Fucking hell,” she muttered under her breath, the train’s erratic jerks nearly throwing her off her balance. She managed to carefully make her way toward him, but just as she neared her professor, she tripped over her own feet. Her lips uttered a small squeak just as he caught her in time, steadying her with a firm grip before she could fall. “Woah there—-I’ve got you.” his deep voice filled inside her eardrums, feeling his arm around her waist.

Nina felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, eyes looking anywhere but him. She let his touch soak into her skin, his warmth sending electricity through her. She turned to face him, suddenly aware of how close they were standing. She watched him smiling softly down at her, “Well, that would’ve been one way to make an entrance.” she heard him say, making her lips twitch upwards. 

Nina hummed with a small chuckle, eyes sparking. “I guess I’ve got a future in stunt work if my psychology degree doesn’t pan out.” she jested, wiggling her eyebrows making her professor laugh. She joined him, but their laughter seemed to abruptly cease, noticing some people on the train giving them disapproving looks. 

The pair looked back at each other, stifling back another laugh. Alex looked at the old couple glaring daggers at them, his lips curving upwards. “Someone skipped their coffee this morning.” he said in a small voice, his voice barely above a whisper, but she heard him nonetheless. 

Nina nodded her head, a simper resting on her lips. "You’re right. They look like they could use a strong cup right now.” she whispered, eyes averting away from the couple toward him, her grin widening as they both dissolved in quiet laughter.

The Collett girl tried her best to stomp down the butterflies that swarmed into her stomach, the sound of his laughter sending her almost reeling. She felt a flush of rose spread across her cheeks, along with a furiously beating heart that she was so sure of him hearing. Nina was taken off guard how they effortlessly fell into a conversation, their words flowing as freely as the train moved along the tracks. 

She couldn’t grasp where she got her sudden confidence from, her shyness melting away as they talked about anything and everything that came to mind. He told her about his passion for music, revealing a side of him she hadn’t expected. She shared snippets of her life, but hesitating to mention her daughter waiting for her at home. She felt it wasn’t the time nor the place to reveal such information, yet.  

The conversation flowed, creating a pleasant rhythm between them. Yet, as the conversation eventually began to fade, a comfortable silence engulfed around them. They exchanged occasional glances from time to time, gentle smiles and soft looks toward each other. The train rumbled along, the clatter of tracks being the only sound that was heard over the cramped ambiance. It was quiet on the train. There were a few murmurs and hushed whispers from a few passengers, while the rest were either seated or standing with tired expressions, face blunt as a white canvas. It created a peaceful atmosphere, allowing people to retreat into their own thoughts. 

Then, the silence was interrupted by a sudden jolt as the train lurched violently. Nina was caught off guard, losing her balance and before she could react she was flung forward. She collided with her professor, her body slamming into his hard chest. Her hands instinctively flew out, placing against his chest as she crashed into him, the scent of his cologne filling her senses. 

Alex’s arms were around her in an instant, hand gripping her waist with a firm but gentle hold, keeping her on her toes. “I got you, love.” he grunted, the use of an endearment slipping from his lips. Time seemed to slow as she looked up, her breath hitching as their eyes met. The world outside the train seemed to fade away, leaving only the pair wrapped in each other’s presence. 

Nina opened her mouth, but closed it, not knowing what to say. She was so immersed in his touch that she found herself unable to speak. Her fingers subconsciously curled against the fabric of his shirt as she looked at him. Her heart stammered against her chest, feeling blood rushing through her ears. She grew hot under his touch, his rough fingers tracing down her back was enough to make her pulse quicken. 

“Arriving in Paddington station.” The female announcer said through the speaker, causing the train to come to a stop. Some passengers flew out of the train, others were racing to get a seat or even a comfortable place to stand. 

A soft smile tugged at the corner of Alex’s lips, his firm yet gentle grip on her waist slowly loosening. It was as if he was reluctant to let her go. “There’s your stop,” he whispered, his hand running down her back comfortably before finally letting her go. And he hated that he had to let her go.

Nina seemed to snap back to her state, eyes blinking as she realized that she was still nestled up to his chest. A warm blushed tinged her face and she slowly left her hand, turning to her side to watch the passengers desperately trying to leave the packed train. She felt cold when his hand left her waist, along with the warmth of her face disappearing, as if someone was leaching all of the vibrancy out of her skin. A heavy feeling settled into her stomach and she exhaled before turning back to her professor. 

There was something in the way he was looking at her that made her stop in her tracks. His caramel eyes seemed to hold her in place, making the back of her hair stand up. She wanted to move and exit the train, but it was like her feet were glued to the ground. Her heart was having a war with how it was violently beating, and she wondered if everyone on the train could hear how fast it was thudding. She wanted to say something, but her mind was a swirling fog, preventing her from expressing her thoughts.

Someone brushing their shoulders with hers seemed to pull her back yet again from her spiraling mind. She bit her lip, feet slowly sauntering toward a small group of people ready to leave the train. She halted with her steps and turned her body toward him again with a kind smile. “See you next week, Mr. Turner.” she sheepishly bid her goodbyes, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He watched her leave in a hurry, her body disappearing into the mass as the door closed. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A frown was growing on his features, eyebrows creasing his forehead as he looked at the door. His own reflection was staring right back at him and he looked away, his gaze forward as his mind went haywire. 

Nina Collett, who are you really? He thought to himself.