#ARE MY EXCUSE TO USE THAT ENVIRONMENT AND ITS MECHANICS MORE OR LESS TBH

[bigskydreaming]

maurianasravenholdt replied to your post:

So, okay. The posts about how psychodrama and...

I read all of this and was very interested. I have to sit with it for a while, because I have questions. If, for example, a non-con fic is written by a survivor, is it not also taking away personal agency to say that ‘there are too many of that kind of fic’ or ‘someone else might be titillated by your fic so it shouldn’t be published’? Some of it feels… eerily familiar to what survivors of rape and harassment face regularly. The censorship of their coping mechanisms.

See, but this is precisely why I always make a point to stress that my aim is fostering an environment that encourages personal accountability, rather than people ducking and hiding communally behind the shield of ‘well some survivors use it to cope’ - when we all know damn well from the sheer volume of noncon, pedophilia and incest SMUT specifically....that its not all being written by survivors. Not to mention there is a significant tonal difference between various fics, with many feeling more ‘permissive’ and even encouraging of the noncon scenarios vs those that have at least a bit more ambiguity to them and suggests that the author has at least mixed feelings about what they’re writing and more likely is working through some stuff than just seeking to write masturbation fodder for people into this stuff.

Like, its impossible to know how many fics like this are written by survivors as attempts at coping mechanisms vs how many are written by nonsurvivors just for sexual gratification.....just like its impossible to know which are written by which. Nor, do I think, should it even be attempted - that’s the gatekeeping I’m so often accused of wanting. The idea that survivors must flash their trauma credentials at the top of a fic as a disclaimer for being allowed to write it.

The point is not identifying works written by survivors vs non survivors, the point is merely hold a macro level awareness that REGARDLESS of which fics are written by which authors.....it remains inarguable that there is no stretch of the imagination in which EVERY ONE OF THESE FICS is written by survivors for self-healing reasons.

So the thing about the coping mechanisms argument above all else, in terms of why I hate it so much, is because by extension....given how often its held up as a defense against criticism of these works in general....there’s no way that everyone who trots out that argument is ACTUALLY one of the survivors writing these things for self-healing.

Which is a big reason why the sight of that argument always has me raising my hackles in the first place....because again - I don’t know who’s a survivor and who isn’t, I’m not TRYING to vet anyone or tell the difference...but I don’t NEED to in order to still be aware that over the years there’s been a shitload of people who have happily used survivors that happen to agree with them or hold opinions that enable their own ‘kinks’....as kinda a human shield against criticism. And that to me, is absolutely disgusting and reprehensible, and the willingness people have to engage in that kinda bullshit is a problem in and of itself, IMO.

But all of that ultimately circles back around to....personal accountability. I’ve never argued for any kind of fandom accountability, where only certain people, appropriately vetted and appointed or what the fuck ever, get to weigh in on certain conversations or write certain content. I’ve merely always been arguing....regardless of whom these things might or might not apply to...I at LEAST want the people who hear what I have to say on these matters and find I’ve mentioned new angles or perspectives they hadn’t considered before, that make them question the....unquestioning way they’ve parroted these arguments before or written these fics assuming its no big deal because general fandom sentiment assured them it wasn’t....like, if people just stopped running from even having these arguments or hearing these criticisms at all, and just started re-examining their own choices on these matters and whether or not they’re entirely comfortable with long-unquestioned decisions or arguments once they apply a little more scrutiny to them....honestly, that’s a good enough start for me. 

Again, I don’t know who is a survivor who actually uses writing dark noncon fics as a coping mechanism, and who isn’t a survivor and just writes them because they’re their ‘guilty pleasure’ or whatever. But YOU know, as in you, any individuals reading me writing posts like this. And I don’t have to know who is whom, in order to just ask that people who DO know perfectly well what applies to them and what doesn’t, like....then THINK about these things.

I’m well aware it won’t do anything to address the people that categorically just don’t give a fuck because they actually ARE pedophiles and the like, and actually get off on all this stuff with full self-awareness as to what they’re doing and seeing appeal in it at its basest levels.....like, they’re not going to do a damn thing differently, sure. But the more people stop seeing ‘well survivors use it to cope’ as an acceptable shield to hide behind if it has nothing to do with them and their reasons for writing certain content....the more these other people have to scramble for other arguments entirely, to hide behind. Which is more and more likely to show them for what they are, and make them stick out as predators rather than community.

Censorship is useless and always will be, IMO. Because the problem isn’t that these works exist. The problem is that these works and the permissive atmosphere they’re regarded in blanket all of fandom in such a way that actual predators have abundant camouflage to move around in and act like they’re just part of the gang, like any other fan.

Censor these kind of works, shut off the faucet....doesn’t accomplish anything towards the true issue of there still being predators in all these fandom spaces....and now they simply have to be even more circumspect and subtle about grooming potential victims, etc.

But the more we build atmospheres of personal accountability in our fandom spheres, expecting people to look honestly at their own actions and impacts and make their choices based on actually asking their consciences what they’re okay with rather than just blindly repeating the things they’ve been told that save them from having to do that work...THAT actually has potential to address the real root issue. Because the more being expected to be aware of your impact and footprint among your own community becomes actually commonplace....the more the behavior of those who still refuse to prioritize anything over their own wants, 24/7, sticks out and makes people wary of that. While at the same time....the more people, minors especially, are encouraged to do their own critical thinking in regards to these matters before drawing their conclusions on what THEY feel most comfortable with.....the less vulnerable they become to the grooming tendencies of predators who RELY on this idea of just....accepting ‘this is the way fandom works though’ when presented with it by older, more established fans.

So ultimately, my beef with the coping mechanisms argument is that as long as fandom’s happy to spout it unanimously as their go-to defense against criticism on these matters, really it just goes to show its being used as a derailing tactic. Allowing the people who AREN’T survivors whom its true for, to just toss it up there without a second thought, and never have to engage honestly with the conversation we’re trying to have.

As to the validity and viability of these fics as coping mechanisms? Tbh, like....that’s not really something I’m all that interested in arguing. The concerns I outlined in that other post are still there and things I stand by, but like I also said in it, and said here....I have zero interest in arguing with someone who says “no, this helps me” and instead telling them no, you’re wrong, it doesn’t. 

I do think its still reasonable to at least ask people keep in mind the arguments about why they perhaps do as much harm as good. I do think its appropriate to expect people to be a little less confident in putting forth “this is the way this works” to newcomers and minors in fandom who look to them as examples, hear all this validation of this specific coping mechanism and assume it must be a good thing, and if it doesn’t seem to work for them too, well they must be doing it wrong. And also, I think its important that people acknowledge that coping mechanisms are NOT innately good or healthy. They’re simply tools we come up with to deal with our traumas, and like any tools, they’re not inherently good or bad, right or wrong. I mean, you start going around getting into fights to distract from shit you have bottled up and aren’t dealing with, to just feel alive, as a way to punish yourself, etc....all of those reasonings for frequent physical fights can still viably fall under the umbrella of being ‘coping mechanisms’ for being physically abused at home yourself and with no possibility of fighting back against your abuser....but does that make them automatically healthy? And does that mean that you’re not still harming the people you pick fights with just to have an excuse to beat on someone? No and no.

And so on that note, I don’t think its unreasonable to expect even survivors to keep that in mind when making decisions as well, because our desire to heal and move past our trauma is not permission or an excuse to hurt other people in the process. And again - I have zero desire to track down any single individual, figure out whether or not they’re a survivor, and quiz them on their choices and motivations and decide whether I approve or not. I just want people to stop trying to act like we all live in a vacuum and our choices can somehow affect people positively, but never negatively. Simply because we don’t want to pair any kind of responsibility with the escapism we come to fandom for.

But we talk a lot about how online fandom was ‘made’ and who made it and a lot of other things that basically signal our awareness that fandom is an artificial construct. It didn’t just exist as it is, and we stumbled across it and what we found is what we got. We made it. Its homegrown.

And there’s a big problem, IMO, when we’ve ended up in a state where we go about literally building communities....while simultaneously trying to hold on to the idea that we’re each only here to take what we can from our communities and have no responsibility towards each other, to at least honestly be aware of our impact and influence on others around us...and to make an effort to not carelessly inflict or help perpetuate harm, while blithely saying oh that has nothing to do with us. 

When we ask ourselves even the simple question of “are these fics actually helping me or do I just want to believe that, or are they a placebo maybe, or are they maybe simply desensitizing me, and either way, what effect are they having on my community at the same time? And if I can’t actually confidently say they’re helping me heal, they’re what I NEED, and other people are claiming concern and harm stemming from this overall trend I’m contributing to here....does it really hurt me to look around for other potential coping mechanisms that I might feel more confident in, or won’t carry such concerns?

The reason I object so much to being constantly accused of wanting censorship, is that’s the complete ass backwards takeaway of literally everything I’ve ever said on this subject.

After all, censorship is ultimately an external third party being responsible for deciding what is and isn’t published and proliferated, based on their reasoning.

What I’m arguing for, and always have been, is the EXACT LITERAL OPPOSITE:

Encouraging and ultimately expecting individuals to be responsible for what they do and don’t publish and proliferate, and actually APPLY their own reasoning to their choices there, rather than simply hitting “Publish” without a second thought and waiting for the kudos and comments to roll in while preparing to ignore all criticism, regardless of what it may be.

[boof]

after ages of not having a working console my sister and i acquired a secondhand ps2 (and then a ps3 thanks roo) and have spent most of the year playing through our old collection together, so for posterity here are some fresh perspectives on some early-mid 2000s games we used to play:

sly 2 - 👍 good and fun as ever, the best in the series. somehow no matter how many times i’ve played it it’s still worth getting 100% completion every time 

sly 3 - 👎 turns out it’s bad. not heinous but just too gimmicky without much substance

jak and daxter - 👍 prob still my fave platformer! simple and charming, challenging without being too difficult. + a killer soundtrack

jak 2 - 👎 UHHH FUCK THIS GAME. the edgy direction naughty dog tried to take is such a jarring departure from the first game and it just doesn’t work. wandering around the city causing mayhem gta style is entertaining for a while but the actual missions are such a difficult, unfun, unrewarding slog idk how or why i even played it all the way through. might have been excusable if it was less outrageously punishing re: checkpoints and health

jak 3 - 👎 also bad for p much the same reasons. we never beat this game & i remembered why when we gave up in the same spot we did the first time lmao

tales of the abyss - 👍 still a huge favorite!!! there’s some slow moments in the plot and questionable dialogue that hasn’t aged well, but otherwise it remains a fun game w a lot of heart and great characters

ratchet and clank - 👍 not bad. nothing extraordinary? but solid

ratchet and clank going commando - 👍 prob still my fave of the series, expands on the original w/o losing sight of it. the ship levels suck though

ratchet and clank up your arsenal - 👍 i think i liked it more than i used to? i just don’t care for the focus on gunfight missions but the regular levels are cool

kingdom hearts - 👍 TRULY A FOREVER FAVE… i’m not too biased by nostalgia to see its faults, but boy is it still a good and magical time

kingdom hearts 2 - 👎 i wish i enjoyed this game but i just don’t very much. the only thing it has over its predecessor is mechanical & graphic improvements & those sure aren’t enough to make up for what a DRAG everything else is. would be considerably more stomachable if it had like 75% fewer cutscenes tbh

star ocean 3 - 👎 THE WORST. couldn’t even make it through bc it just wasn’t worth it. literally everything about this game sucks and not in a charmingly hilariously bad way

final fantasy x - 👍 i’m love so much…… the story! the characters! the environments! the music! + i hate atb so i really appreciate that the battle system lets me be slow and methodical

i think those are all the titles of note? can’t wait to stay behind the times in 2018 and play even more outdated games