#ANYWAYS yeah regarding who I feel like? HOW I feel like? Fairly calm. chill. ‘serious���. /shrug

[sepiasys]

Why am I like- forgetting my tags for my blog? Like the tagging system. I switched acct on tumblr app bc post limit bullshit ykyk? I’m gonna pretend that’s why /hj

[fantranslatorbychoice]

Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 2- The Village Hidden in Hyakumemomiji** Part 1

T/N: OK Kakuriyo Fam-fans, how are you all doing? Did the last chapter surprise you? Anyways, I wasn't surprised, Odanna-sama always takes Aoi out on a food trip date (dang it, when's my turn lololol even I am tired of eating just white rice at times T_T) so yeah, I guess autumn fruits sound good.

Anways, I sorta started doing a speed run of this chapter because I got too-excited with the date, and I tried letting out this translation as fast as I can, and hopefully by the end of the chapter you'll see why I wanted to speed run this mofo lololol

As always, I mostly didn’t translate a lot of the names of the ayakashi/youkai, as well as the proper nouns because uhm... They’re basically nouns. It’s like how some translated manga are done. Plus it irks me sometimes when everything just gets transliterated, it kills off the vibe. But that’s just me. Links to references at the end of the post.

Also if you like this translation, you can share the link, reblog, but for pete’s sake DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. I worked hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just Google-translated this whole sh**..

If you need refreshers on what happened, @kakuriyo-translations​ already had the previous translations. I’ll place a tiny index in this post somewhere, to make that easy. I’m just contributing to this fandom. Also, as previously mentioned in my other post, the 2 seasons of the anime cover volumes 1-5, so if you need a review just rewatch them all. Volume 6 starts here.

P27 "A date with Odanna-sama, huh..." Yesterday's rice cooking events felt like a daze, and I felt that fairly it hasn't sunk in yet, and waking up early just made me realize it. The lovely chirping of the little birds just annoyingly grated my ears. The distinct skin-chilling coldness of autumn is also piercing my body. Incidentally, I'm also a bit nervous. "It's.... It's not a big deal, it's not unusual that I'm going on a date with Odanna-sama. Yeah." We went to Youto and ate offal hotpot, we ate chicken tempura in Gintengai, and in the port of the Southern lands we ate donburi with pickled toppings... No matter how many times Odanna-sama and I went out, why am I nervous after all this time? This is weird. Could it be that I'm going down with an illness? Firstly, I opened the shutters of the veranda, to breathe in the early morning air... "Aoi! Let's go now!" P28 "What the.. It's early! Odanna-sama you're early!" The busy bee that uneasily goes here and there and everywhere and has no free time Odanna-sama has already come here. It seemed that he cut across the inner garden towards the veranda. If so, he must have beavered to get here with incredible flexibility. But I'm still wearing my pajamas! "Speaking of, Odanna-sama.. Are you going out looking like that?" Odanna-sama changed his appearance into a younger one, like what he looked liked before, as a fish monger, and his kimono wasn't spectacular, he just looked like a commoner. "That was fast. The face I usually have in Tenjin-ya is too recognizable. What's more, Aoi is the only one that found me out, now this date isn't fun anymore." "I... I'm sure..." Although, if it's through this appearance I felt a bit nervous too. At any rate, this handsome Odanna-sama may be handsome, but the nobleman aura isn't here. Even Orio-ya's Young Mistress Nene only said that he looked reliable-ish. "But Odanna-sama, in spite of this, even this is way too early for Ayakashi! I haven't even prepared anything yet." "I'll wait for you here while you get ready." "You're not busy? Odanna-sama has some free time?" P29 "It's because it's been a very long time since I had a whole day free. Even though Byakuya has been nagging me to get some break already, I just feel that I mustn't. I may have worked too much during the matter with Orio-ya. That dude Raijuu. It seemed that he used some people from the capitol. One way or another, it smells like that all over." "Smells like that.. All over?" What does that mean? The matter in Orio-ya, the circumstance that accompanied the Southern lands, the ceremony that no one spoke of and secretly kept in the back-burner. The sea that lies in between Tokoyo and Kakuriyo wherein every 100 years an Ayakashi called Umibouzu arrives, a peculiar Ayakashi that is received and welcomed. In that ceremony, Raijuu made a disturbance and I got hindered, but borrowing everyone's strength and cooking the Sea Jewel Appetizers while bearing all that, we were able to entertain and serve the Umibouzu. I know that Odanna-sama worked hard for me, but there were many things that I don't know, could there be more things hidden? That Raijuu, I wonder if he's doing anything else right now? "Hey, Aoi, don't go absent-mindedly prepare when getting ready. Would you want to go out in your sleepwear?" When he said that, him egging me on, I went inside the room to prep up... "No, but what should I wear?" In front of me is the kimono that Odanna-sama gave me, but it's too elegant and it won't fit fruit picking. P30 There's also the blue kimono that I used back in Orio-ya, but it's too summery. "Hm?" I opened the wooden cabinet, and I became aware that there was a kimono that I haven't seen before. It was solidly very autumn, a deep red kimono, and a soft mustard yellow obi. It was laid on top of it. It looks of good quality, but it looks light and simple to wear, it's going to be easy to move in it. "Please use this on your date with Odanna-sama. Matsu, Take, Ume." The letter on it... It's the three Nopperabou sisters usual business! "I'm thankful but.. why is there a feeling of eagerness?" I closed the sliding doors of the veranda and changed clothes. From beyond the sliding doors's side, I could hear Odanna-sama chatting with the palm-top Kappa Chibi, who just came back from taking a morning bath. "Ah.. Ogre-shaaan is heeeere" "Isn't taking a bath in autumn chilly, Chibi?" "Ish not really that coooold. In Utsushiyo, the raging wavesh were mush coldeeeer. Ish eashier in heeere." "Aren't you strong... That can only be expected from Aoi's disciple..." "Yeahhh but my beak ishhh chattering... Ish very very coooold..." P31 "Come here. The ogre-fire will warm you up." It seemed that the seemingly calm and composed but eventually got cold Chibi was warmed up by Odanna-sama's ogre-fire. Somewhat somehow, after changing clothes I attached the flower bud kanzashi in my hair. "The petals have opened up considerably now..." I talked to the petals. Gah, I don't know if talking to the petals is a good thing... My impatience doesn't wane, with regards to the flower has blooming. I wanted to see the flowers open up into a round wheel, but the petals will scatter if it does. "Aoi-shaaaan! I am hungryyyy..." Chibi flungs the sliding door open and enters the room. And speaking of, I haven't made breakfast yet. "Say, Odanna-sama, you want to eat breakfast? We have a lot of cold rice left, we can make some onigiri. We can eat while we're walking." "Aoi's hand-rolled meals? Yes, that sounds good." I have just finished changing clothes, but I already wore my apron and went to the kitchen and made onigiri. I mixed the plum and Hijiki seaweed into the onigiri, and packed a lot of the salmon flakes into the onigiri wrapped in nori. There were also eggs left, so I made them into rolled omelette. P32 There's no dashi, no onions, just plain omelette. I added salt and sugar, and some mayonnaise as a faint flavoring. I cut cucumbers and pickled daikon and skewered them with toothpicks, and added these to the sides. The simple onigiri bento box is now done. I wanted to make some with more variety, but I can't make Odanna-sama wait. Today we're going with "simple is best." I stuffed everything in a box, wrapped it in cloth and brought it out with me. "I'm sorry Odanna-sama. Did you wait long?" Odanna-sama was lying down in the veranda and smoking his pipe, while listening to Chibi's stories about playing in the pond. It was about a crawfish, then about a pond skater. Whatever it was about, it's fine. "Nooo, it's not bad to wait for the new wife as she readies herself. Teehee." "Then what are you so happy about?" Odanna-sama stood up, said "Alright, let's go!" and held out his hand. I bewilderedly took his hand, and got supported as I wore my geta sandals. Along with the kimono I'm still not used to, I felt anxious of tumbling down. "Ahhh... Aoi-shaaan and Ogre-shaaaan, where are you goiiiiing? Take me along tooooo." "Well, that sounded miserly..." Even though he was always playing alone, Chibi always wants to be taken along. P33 "When you want to come with, you can come, Chibi. You'll be eating your favorite grapes." "Grapeshhh..." Chibi jumped from the veranda and onto my back. I realized that he was climbing my back as he went "Heave, ho, heave ho." "Say, Odanna-sama, are we going in the airship again?" "Ah, yes. But this time, we're not boarding one with the Tenjin-ya's crest because we'll be hiding, so we'll use the smaller ships. This time the fruit orchard Hyakumeyama, which lies in the connecting lands of the north and northeast will be our destination. The place has farms and is quiet, and you can go pick and harvest fruits at ease and in all diligence." In a bit as we went off, Odanna-sama brought me to the place where the ship was set in anchor. In that place, the Young Master Ginji-san and the Chief Accountant Byakuya-san were there, and it seems that they were going to see us off. Byakuya is a Hakutaku Ayakashi, and is Tenjin-ya's REAL Second Leader. On one hand where he's holding a fan, looked like he was tapping it on the other hand, and he seems to be in a bad mood. "Odanna-sama, don't go too far for your rest and relaxation at nightfall, it's quite perilous. That dummy Raijuu seems to be somehow releasing his stench from the capitol. Do you understand?" "Byakuya, don't be nervous. I know and I'm already serious about it." "If so, then that's nice. You too, Aoi-kun." P34 "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously replied to Byakuya when he called my name, and it flew out of my head. "Yugao's income this month is very good, and for that I salute you. Nonetheless, you must not lose focus, try to learn to understand that when you go out, then come back here. Keep in mind that, and while at it, don't trouble Odanna-sama." "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously bowed. It's better to listen to Byakuya-san's words. "Hey hey Byakuya. It's a rare rest and relaxation day. Don't make Aoi think about work." "Oh, don't worry Odanna-sama. I was just telling her what I intend to do." "Oh, I see." Odanna-sama looked at the clear autumn sky. "Aoi-san, be careful outside, whatever you will be doing. Odanna-sama, leave Tenjin-ya's care to me in your stead." Ginji-san was grinning and side-smiling. He seems to be his usual and formal self. "Ginji, please take care of business. Byakuya, if there's anything contact me." "Yes, I know, Odanna-sama." P35 Ginji-san and Byakuya-san, the two higher-ups in the management team bowed their heads deeply, and as we boarded the airships they sent us off. As the airship was rising into the clear sky, we bathed in the afternoon sunlight on the ship's wooden deck. The sunlight was warm, despite the cold breeze. It was a really good atmosphere. "Ahhh. Odanna-sama, the weather's good. It's great that it's clear." "Yes. That said, let's eat breakfast, Aoi." "That was hasty, Odanna-sama..." Sitting on the ship's deck's benches, we immediately opened the onigiri bento boxes. While in that great mood, the arranged onigiri tastes good. This was yesterday's scattered rice, and yet adding salt in this onigiri changed its taste. More than anything, eating this outside was a good idea. "The omelette is also good. It's simple, but it suits the onigiri." "You think so? A lot of various things are always added and used, but this time I only added a few seasonings. Because the cassowary's egg is wonderful, the onigiri which has a lot of stuff is already good. But because I added mayonnaise to the egg as a subtle flavor, just adding salt makes it mellow, doesn't it?" I was talking about a lot of things, and Odanna-sama was just enjoying his food and smiling. "Teehee. Surely it's because it's  hand made by Aoi. It's warm and feels like home." That Odanna-sama that day, he was very friendly and easy to talk to. P36 That person's impression has definitely changed. No, he did not change, he was probably like that as an ogre since the very beginning. I only noticed that he was such, whenever we met, and talked about heavy things. "But really, I thought that it was better if I made more in variety..." Also, instantly,because the opportunities are rare, I thought that if I'm going to do it, I should concentrate on making various bento kinds. Basically, for Odanna-sama I haven't made any food by hand. No, when it comes to those times, I have made more for the other employees than for Odanna-sama. "Don't worry about it. Just do what you usually cook. In those times, aren't the food that you didn't think about much also taste good? It's because in 10 minutes, they’re already delicious." "The food that I.. didn't think much about?" Probably because lately, the food and drinks that I served were continuously served everyday. Before coming to Kakuriyo, Grandpa and I only cooked for ourselves, home-cooked meals. When I came here, it changed because I served food for the Ayakashi. Even though I felt nervous here and there, my skills improved as I kept doing it, and in that time I was able to learn how to cook freely. Because of that, I was able to feed myself and my family.. "Aoi-shaaan, cucumber..." "Oh, sorry Chibi, here you go.." P37 I handed him over the sliced cucumber and pickles stuck on the toothpicks. Then Chibi held those in both hands, and like in a daze started munching and crunching on them. Even though I was nervous early in the morning, I felt comfortable and carefree right now. The evidences are because of me bringing the onigiri and the bento boxes without thinking much.

"Welcome, Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama. Yugao's Aoi-dono." The smiling face of the owner who greeted us at the entrance of the fruit orchard looks familiar. Once, previously, we met at Gintengai... Could it be.. It's Rokusuke-san, the Rokurokubi. Even in Yugao, we use the fruits from Rokusuke-san's business Mizumakinouen. "Hello, Rokusuke-san." "Aoi-dono, thank you very much for always patronizing our Mizumakinouen's fruits." "Rokusuke-dono, thank you for taking care of us. I am just a commoner today, because we are doing these in secret. You don't have to be so humble." "I understand, Odanna-sama. Today we're only open for half a day, so I think there will be less visitors. Uhm.. Oh, you can see the momiji autumn leaves on the side of the mountain over there." Rokusuke-san stretched his neck towards the mountain to check, and as he moved towards a tree trunk he showed to us the place. P38 "Alright then, please come this way." We finally went inside the fruit orchard. The first portion of the fruit orchard that we went into, was the grape vineyard. "Woooow!" A canopy above our heads hanging like ivy, these drooping, purple grapes look like drops of water seemingly about to burst. They look so fresh, the colors make them look like jewels. The viney canopy allows the autumn sunlight to pierce through, and the gentle air space is filled with a mysterious life force. "This is awesome, Odanna-sama! The grapes are just so impecable!" "The size of each of these grapes are Kakuriyo's biggest and sweetest, the variety is called Daishisui. Lately, Rokusuke-san says that this seedless variety has been selling very well in the market." "For sure.. In Utsushiyo too, I've seen some seedless grapes, I wonder if the skin in these ones are edible too." "The skin isn't edible. But they're easy to peel. Let's go pick some." "Really, they look like Concord grapes, I was thinking of making some grape tarts, I wonder if they're suitable..." The grapes with seeds are really good when used, but how can these seedless grapes be said to be easier to eat, as well as easier to be used for cooking?** T/N. Yeah, I mean, the seedy ones get easier made into jams due to having more pectin, so I agree with you Aoi, I don't know any other use for seedless grapes other than turning them into raisins. The seedy grapes are, in my opinion tastier, juicer, and have more uses. But that's just my opinion lol P39 The grape's main tree is not that tall, and I could easily have fun gathering them. The farm's assistants gave me scissors, and I started to trim the bunches off the trees. These were profoundly heavy, and I was having so much fun gathering them. Store-bought grapes had nothing on these ones. After picking a lot of grapes, I couldn't resist eating one. I was shocked. "Uwahhh! It's very sweet! Odanna-sama, the grapes are very sweet, they're so delicious!" "You tried them right away?" Immediately after I ate one, the fruit's peel was a tad hard-textured, but the grape just burst in my mouth and the juice's rich taste surprised me, it wasn't that sour but the sweetness levels were high. These grapes were picked at ambient temperature, but the taste and texture were still straight up enjoyable. This is a really good product. "Aoi-shaaaan, I want to slurp some grapesh tooooo." "OK, I'll get it." Chibi got hold of a bunch of grapes and hung on one. He went with a grape, and deftly using his beak started peeling off one portion of it, before slurping up and sucking on the juice and munching on it. Chibi holding onto a grape is somehow cute. P40 "Next up are apples. We're going to go buy some to bring home as give-aways for everyone back in Tenjin-ya." "Apples, huh. There are many preservation methods for them, they store up for long time, and many varieties of recipes can be made with them. I want to buy lots for myself too." Hauling the baskets that Rokusuke-san entrusted to us, we went further away to pick some apples. The apple orchards were further inside the premises, away from the grape orchards. The trees were a bit taller than Odanna-sama. All around the trees’ silhouettes, these bore a lot of fruits. "Uwah, they're really very red!" Those apples look so lovely and so tasty. The red color was so deep, and I love the smooth, round shape. Those hanging on the tree look so gorgeous, but I couldn't help but be very interested as to how these will taste. I trimmed one off with scissors, scrubbed the freshy-picked apple's skin and wiped it, and bit into it with haste. While chewing it, the juice's sweetness and sourness spread across my mouth as well as it's strong fragrance. The fruit was crisp and made crunching sounds, as the liquid lightly pulls away. Truly, this were what's called apples. "Are they sweet, Aoi?" "Yes! The insides are sweet, there's hints of sourness, but the flavor is very deep. For sure, this are of Mizumakinouen's best quality. Oh, Odanna-sama, those apples look like they're of a different variety, let's go there, let's go over there!" P41 "Calm down, Aoi..." Odanna-sama accompanied me going here and there. There were so many varieties of apples in the orchard, each one's taste and sweetness were a bit different, and we ended up trying everything. "Hey look, Odanna-sama. Up there on the mountain a bit, there are also more apple trees!" I discovered that on that different place, the were other growing apple trees. Just about all of the trees in the orchard were basically grown in a detached and open portion of a plateau, but  when the adjoined mountain is climbed up a little, trees with seemingly fresh apples can be seen. The pink mixed with the saturated red color makes those apples shine brightly. "That's a variety of mountain apples." "Is that different from normal apples?" "Mountain apples are a bit more sour, and the fruits are hard. Up until now, those fruits are entirely inedible, but just sometime ago, Mizumakinouen has started to sell liquor made out of mountain apples. It's still an unknown product but previously, Rokusuke-san brought a bottle to Tenjin-ya, and we tasted some out yesterday. Ginji and I tried it out as we welcomed some guests." "Speaking of that, both of you were tipsy yesterday..." P42 "It's not exactly that much, but it's easy to get drunk." "Whh-at?" Mountain apple liquor. I'm interested but... I have not so good memories about liquors. Sometime ago, I had a very bad experience with the Tengu's secret sake. That has traumatized me until now, and I have never drank and liquor from then on. "Ahaha, your face stiffened. For sure, after drinking that liquor and getting drunk, you'll feel it for two days after drinking, and the next day when you wake up your mood will be better.. On the night before this rest day I drank just one cup, and I felt like my health got better. Mizumakinouen's brand-new product is something that you'll buy again and again." "Odanna-sama, you don't just merely "drink and try it out." "Ginji also likes it, I'll buy some for him as a souvenir." Just saying that, Odanna-sama just floods with elegance. I went up to where the mountain apples were, just to check. The fruits were larger than I thought. I tried biting on it, it was more sour than sweet, and the flesh was harder. "This isn't just for liquors, this can also be used for jams too." When this is boiled down with sugar, the sourness won't easily disappear, and that's a good thing. Even though the small basket on my back was already full, I tossed the mountain apples into the large basket on Odanna-sama's back. P43 Nevertheless... "Odanna-sama, the commoner's look you have now, you really come off as a plebeian. You really look good with that apple basket, you know." "You're starting to tell me that about me looking like a commoner, Aoi?" Even though I said, that, Odanna-sama seems to be ecstatic. "Let's leave this orchard in a bit. Our baskets are already full." "Ehhh? Let's stay for ten more minutes..." In a corner of the fruit orchard, it seems like there's a small hut that has a fire and is making some jam, and Odanna-sama and I started heading over there. Inside Odanna-sama's basket, in front of me, Chibi was scampering about and I could see Chibi playing with some apples. While inside the large pile of apples, he seems to be playing inside a maze. "Chibi, don't play with the apples too much." "OK, I geeet it. I'm a very shmart Ayakashiiiiii, I won't treat theeeshe appleshhh harshhhlyyyy." However, while Chibi was squirming about, an apple rolled and fell off the basket. "Awww, I made one faaallll ouuuuuut." Chibi popped his face out of the basket, and seemingly unashamed of his wreckless behavior stared at the falling apple, while I chased the apple in a panic. P44 That red apple, I was going to use that for jam. I don't want to waste even one! "What the..." The apple instantly vanished. I didn't notice that there was a large hole hidden by the grass, in front of the place where the apple rolled off to. My geta got stuck and snagged back by a tree root, and I fell head-first into the hole were the apple fell off before! "Gyaaaaahhhhhh---" "Aoi?!!" The apples on my back all rolled down and got scattered. This emergency seemed comical but without a doubt is devastating. Everywhere I bumped into hurts. "Aoi-- Aoi--!" "Ohhhh daaarn, thisshh ishhh baaaaad..." As Odanna-sama was calling my name out, it started to sound farther and farther away because of Chibi's insensitive words. Roll.. Roll.. All of the apples loaded in my back started rolling out easily like a conveyor belt as I looked on. P45 "Owwww" On the place where I landed, I was surrounded by a precipice inside the mountain, and all around was a wide place that was full of fluffy fallen leaves. The top of the hole was high, and above the gaps in between the trees, I could only see a bit of the sky. I went and looked around my surroundings, but I couldn't find the hole that I fell from. "Ohh, a red dragonfly!" But in that place, in all of that stillness, there were momiji, fallen autumn leaves. There was a small spring, where the fallen leaves were floating and coloring the water with. Countless red dragonflies were darting over the spring. Red, orange, brown, yellow. Heavily piled and packed and stacked on top of one another in many layers, the fallen leaves superbly look like a carpet. It looked somewhat like a lovely, autumn forest. Looking at these momiji, I consciously remembered an old memory related to grandpa. "Wai.... Odanna-sama... Odanna-sama, ODANNA-SAMA!!!" This is not a time to be a dummy. I loudly called for Odanna-sama, but my voice only echoes and rebounds back into the precipice's walls. It seemed that Odanna-sama is already far away. "Don't tell me.. I've gotten lost in the fruit orchard..." No matter how frequently I got lost in Kakuriyo, I always didn't feel like I was in distress, didn't I...? P46 "Gah, I shouldn't think too much of this..." For the time being, I'll just wait for help to arrive, while I pick up all of the scattered apples around me. All of the apples were fine. Even if some got bruised, there's no problem with eating them. But then that time, I felt like there were scratching sounds behind me, and I was shocked when I turned my head around. "Wh... Who are you?" From inside the forest, with masks that were as red as apples, and bodies each covered in a straw raincoat, a crowd appeared. They surrounded me, and it seemed like they're coming in from everywhere. "It's a human... A human girl.." Whispering in hushed voices, they signalled each other through the eye holes in their masks. Because the wall of the precipice was behind me, I couldn't move at all. "Wh..What is this.. Wait a minute..." The dubious beings started moving smoothly towards me. Could it be that, they're going to feed on me? But within the populace wearing a straw raincoat, a strange branch was pulled out, and they lighted it up, and towards me wafted a smoke that smelled bittersweet, it was an unfamiliar smell. P47 In a moment before I realized it, I have lost consciousness.

I had a dream. It was an old memory, with momiji and apples. In reality, back then I went with grandpa once, to his old residence. I was still an lementary school student then, and for sure it was autumn. I was sure that grandpa visited the Buddhist altar of his deceased mother, we went to this large residence in the outskirts of Tokyo, and I accompanied him. It has been a long time since he visited their family home, and he probably felt a lot of nostalgia. That home reminded me particularly of autumn season, and it seemed that grandpa had so much deep-seated emotions. "Ah, I see.. When autumn comes, this home seemingly turns into an AKIAKANE." "Grandpa, what's an akiakane?" "That's a red dragonfly, Aoi." It seemed like grandpa cut himself off from whoever was living in that home. He particularly didn't mention the place he came from, and it seems that through this I couldn't get to know him better. After a very long time, for such a reason he had no choice but to meet with his mother. P48 However, if I was going to meet my great-grandma, I couldn't instantly do it when she was still alive. Even when that person died, grandpa didn't come to her funeral, and even after that he couldn't bring it upon himself to visit even secretly. The house that we went to was the first and last time that I did, but to be honest, from how I remembered it, it was a really large residence.** Grandpa was such a monk... "I apologize, I had no way to find out, you were already at the verge of death. As expected, the role of head of the household was difficult..." "Nay, mother's death.. Seemed to be from my curse. I am truly sorry about that. You were killed by someone who didn't want to die... A strong person..." "Being someone like the lady of the house, even at your time of death, Shirou made you worry. Let us hurry now to her Buddhist shrine**." A man in the prime of his life, grandpa brought himself into the house's inner room, and in front of us we saw an imposing Buddhist shrine. A curse...? Grandpa's words were spoken in a low and hushed voice, and that time I thought that what I was continuously listening to was mysterious. But then I remembered something, it seemed that there was a deep meaning to it. T/N: At this point, it's easy to see why Shirou was living as a reckless man, he was probably raised in a stiff household, mostly because he was a member of the main family, with his mother as the house head. So he had to conduct his manners most of the time, probably. He loosened up when he got a chance to get away from the house. He was also probably bailed out a lot, which is why he at times becomes happy-go-lucky, or leaves others to clean up his messes. Think of a chaebol's son (son of a rich person lol) being bailed out a lot, and ends up not being able to clean up his messes. Buddhist shrines are tiny cabinet-like altars that contain the photo of the deceased, and they're usually opened up on death anniversaries or new years or whenever there's a day of the dead celebration something, like hungry ghost fest or something. Offerings can be placed in front of the cabinet, along with candles and incense sticks. Again, as this implies that Shirou came from a prominent family, his mother's shrine altar is probably huge AF. P49 "Aoi, come meet your great-grandmother. Mother, this is my granddaughter, Aoi." In front of the large Buddhist shrine, I was introduced to the dead. So many apples with a lovely color were offered, and as a child that left a strong impression on me. The incense stick's fragrance, within the swaying smoke rising up... The red color that was projected looked lovely. I didn't understand how to pay respects to someone that I didn't know. But the blurred vision of grandpa's side profile, up until now I didn't see it, it was a person who was suffering in loneliness... I could only remember it now. "Aoi, wait here for a bit..." After that, grandpa talked to two of his male relatives, and on the tatami floor of the residence, I waited for him. There was a garden connected to the veranda, and red dragonflies were flying in and out, dartingly through the window. I wondered why I was there alone...As I was sitting on the veranda, looking at the evening sky's madder red color, I started to ponder. Everywhere I go my heart always feels wrenched as I always felt that I was an outsider, but staying here in this residence, it didn't feel bad. It's easy for this old house to draw in Ayakashi, but I couldn't feel anything evil. Being guarded somehow, I could remember that place had a sense of calm and peace. P50 I didn't think that there would be anyone visiting or encroaching the confines of that place. "Are you.. A human?" Suddenly, there was someone at the gate. Before I realized it, a young boy was standing beside me. The boy seemed to have orange hair**, I thought that he was a humanoid Ayakashi, and my body stiffened. He's not a human-ish Ayakashi... At best, he is a lower-grade elementary school student. A child. But as I stared at the child in front of me, looking deeper at his essence, his eyes were not those of a child's. "I'm... A human too." I answered with a low voice, and as that child's face remained the same, he nodded over a serving tray that he was carrying. Sliced apples were arranged on a glass plate, and there was a glass of milk on the tray too. "Mommy told me to bring these to you." I humbly took these, and the kid frettedly ran away as if he was escaping. At that moment, he really did acted somewhat like a child. While running, what seemed like a mother's scolding voice called out "Akane, stop running!" T/N: It's not an ayakashi, it's zappy boi Zenitsu wahahaha I have zero regrets and yeah I know Zappy boi had brown hair before getting struck by lightning. But seriously, it seemed that based on the stuff here, Shirou's family can see Ayakashi, as Zappy boi Akane and Aoi can see them, like he did. Honestly, the color-name puns are just too much lololol P51 That kid, his name was Akane. It was the sky's color, and was the name of the red dragonflies. The skin of the sliced apples were made into bunnies** and they looked cute, and I could feel the love of the mother living in that house. Could the child also have eaten this everyday, I wonder. Using the fork beside the apples, I stuck this on the apples and ate them from behind. "Oh, they're sweet." Also, they were cold. These were cooled inside the refrigerator, and the coldness felt good on my throat. Somehow, while drinking the milk and eating the apples, it became a memory I longed for. A child. Yes, a child who had no idea how autumn feels like. I couldn't have it anymore. But whenever I see apples and momiji, I remember that meeting that only happened once.

Boom, boom..... When I woke up, within that pitch blackness was an old banquet hall inside a grotto. T/N: Bunny apples are fun to make and fun to eat, try them out. I think I saw some in Kaicho wa Maid-sama once, but that was ages ago lol P52 A large alter was built, a while ago, in front of me. All around it were countless food offerings. Countless candle flames were lit, flowers and fruits and a pig's head**, deer horns and other stuff were arranged there as offerings too. "Wh... What is this?" In front of me, the drummers were also dancing, they seem to be holding and continuing a ceremony, and these were the mysterious Ayakashi with monkey masks. "Miko-sama" "You have awakened." They were all whispering in a low voice. Miko-sama? "Uhm... Are you.. worshipping me?" Having no idea what was happening, I asked them in a courageous voice. But the gathered Ayakashi that were wearing a straw raincoat and monkey masks, why did they all went "yes, milady, yes milady" and turned around? "Human girl, you are the Kaku-zaru** village's priestess." "You shall save us from calamity..." These Ayakashi called Kaku-zaru, for a while have been worshipping me. I don't feel anymore danger, but this situation has gone nuts. T/N: They got hold of Inosuke's boar head lolol I still have zero regrets Nihongo fun fact, when forming compound words, the first syllable of the second word gets a tenten, which looks like a quotation mark. For example, the word HIDARIGAWA (left side) is made up of 2 words: hidari=left, and kawa=side, and because the syllable KA becomes GA when you add a tenten, KAWA becomes GAWA. Another example, the word for three thousand, SANZEN, is made up of san=three and sen=thousand, but because SA becomes ZA when you add a tenten, SEN becomes ZEN. Which is why I made it KAKUZARU here, there's no furigana in the text so I just assumed that this rule works. I could have just made it into Kakuriyo Monkey but then where's the fun in that lol. I'll probably put shit like this here, so that by the end of however much chapters my body can upload here, we've all learned some tiny Nihongo bits. I'ma gonna drag you all with me bwahahahahaahaa! P53 "Uhm.. I came from a fruit orchard along a mountain. I would want to go back now..." The monkey masks suddenly stared up. The masks had a strong impact on me, and I unconsciously gulped. This has a different atmosphere, compared to when I'm with the usual Ayakashi I have met. In a way, this unexplored region seemed to house a tribe. "You're a Miko." "No, I'm not a Miko, because I'm just a human." I flatly refused them, but they started to gather as they were whispering. "Miko-sama, with our offerings, we are requesting of you. This is our sacrifice..." "Uhm.. Sacrifice?" After saying that, is seemed that they didn't listen. Nevertheless, when they pulled out a rope I was shocked, they were pulling along a handsome, black-haired guy with a long piece of rope... "What the... They tied up Odanna-sama like a slave!" In front of me, surely without a doubt, they have brought along Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama, the younger version. That appearance doesn't give off his aura of being Tenjin-ya's master, after all, they don't know who it was. B-b-b-b-but, isn't that disrespectful? If the people in Tenjin-ya saw this they'll bring upon a wrath of a sea of fire! P54 Speaking of Odanna-sama, he was restlessly looking around, and once when he found me on the bluish altar, he smiled at me childishly. As expected from someone so composed. It's better to be cheerful. "Miko-sama, we found this person loitering around outside the village." "Please have your way with this sacrifice. We can boil, then roast, then eat him." No no no, a human girl can't eat Ayakashi! "Then quickly untie him! That person is a distinctly emiment man!" "Yes, milady--" While the Kaku-zaru were being told what to do, they unfastened Odanna-sama's ropes. "Hmmmmph. Could it be that when you saw me tied up, you were surprised?" "You don't have a face that looked surprised. Might you have been enjoying yourself? Speaking of, how did you got captured so easily?" "I was looking for you, and I ended up in the Kaku-zaru's village. I thought it was easier to get caught as an adult in order to get in. As a result, I got here. When I met you here, everything went OK." "So it's OK to meet Odanna-sama here.." When the Kaku-zaru saw Odanna-sama and I, they started to talk in hushed voices. They were an eerie bunch. Why on earth did they bring me here, what do they plan to do? "Oh dear..." P55 Odanna-sama hit his hand on his waist, and it transformed as he dispelled it. Normally, people would be surprised and exclaim "It's Tenjin-ya's master!", but, here, the Kaku-zaru  only shook their heads questioningly. What the.. They only kept silent and didn't say anything, so Odanna-sama only cleared his throat with an "ahem". "Aoi, this place is the heart of Hyakumeyama. I knew that inside this mountain, there is a hidden village of the Kaku-zaru, but this is the first time I've taken a visit. At any rate, the Kaku-zaru's village is in the territory of the Northern Lands." "Whaaaa-t. So.. We're already in the Northern Lands?" "Now that you mentioned it, yes. But the North-eastern lands were supposed to have a boundary..." Upon hearing loud drumming sounds again, Odanna-sama stared at the ceremony that the Kaku-zaru were performing in front of the large altar. "These Kaku-zaru were from an old era, wherein they were taken here by a Miko, a human priestess, which is now forbidden. Each time a human girl comes here, she becomes a replacement for the Miko, and she becomes worshipped by them." "So in this case, I was kidnapped to become worshipped here?" "But, well, this curiosity is rather odd. No matter how many human girls they worship, if it's against their will, being taken here feels like a punishment. But for this, I wonder what their probable reasons were for moving and leaving the village..." At the same time, the drumming sounds suddenly stopped. The door of the old tomb opened, and an old Kaku-zaru came in. P56 "The respectable elder... Has come!" That person has the longest straw raincoat in the bunch, and somewhat wears a necklace made out of bones, as well as having a mask of an old sleepy monkey. While walking with a cane, he was supported by a Kaku-zaru who was near the offerings, and sat in front of the altar where I was. "Miko-sama, we are the humble descendants in this village. For today, we beseech you." Everyone went "Yes, milady--", and bowed deeply once again. What the heck is going on.. "Uhm.. Respectable elder? What is all this For a while now, you've been saying stuff about worshipping, why on earth is that?" "Brigands from the far north has come to our village, and has looted and plundered." "Bandits?" Odanna-sama and I looked at each other's faces. He suddenly seemed to remember something instantly, and he placed his hand on his chin as he narrowed his eyes. "Bandits came from the far north.. Could it be that, they're the Ozuma gang?" "Odanna-sama, you know of them?" "Yes. They came from the Great Glacial Mountain Range of the Far North, and I've heard stories that in nearly every mountain here and there they were wreaking havoc and violence. But unexpectedly, you're asking for help from the North-eastern lands connected to the mountain of Hyakumeyama?" Aa a Hachiyo of the North-eastern lands, might he have not noticed of their situation? His facial expression suddenly became grave. P57 "Say, what on earth did the bandits do to this village?" After I tried asking, each of the Kaku-zaru started groaning in low voices. It was a bone-chilling sound and it pierced through my body. "We already have become the Ozuma-gang's minions." "Hm, in what way?" "The Ozuma-gang are bandits composed of about 20 individuals that move around. Each one has a jurisdiction over one mountain, as well as a minion that goes in each of the mountains, and like the other mountains we have become under one group that only keeps on increasing." The respectable elder has started to retell the story emotionally. "The day when those brigands came to this village,they broke through everything and pillaged, they violently wounded our villagers. We have no means or ways to retaliate so we just surrendered, and we became under the control of those thugs. After that, those brigands started to enter this village's stronghold, and every night they celebrated in our banquet hall. They just ate all of the village's food in reckless abandon, drank our liquor dry, and became even more violent when drunk. Half of the food we were saving in this village has already been eaten. At this rate we will not even last until winter." "Oh, I see. To summarize, you have been deeply troubled by it." Because of that, they have explained why they have abducted me, and why they were asking help from the gods. "Miko-sama. Please, we beg of you, save us---" The other Kaku-zaru who were also bowing down and worshipping me, also beseeched and prayed. Even though they show signs of just imitating what they think what a god must do, the surrounding atmosphere of desperation made me want to help them, but regarding that, I am just a normal human girl who has no means to easily resolve the issue. P58 "Respectable elder, have you gotten in touch with the Hachiyo of the North?" From here, Odanna-sama asked the question with a commanding voice. The respectable elder raised his face, stared unblinkingly at Odanna-sama's majestic pose. "Oh my.. You, are you not Tenjin-ya's Master?" "Indeed, I am. Finally, you have taken notice of me." "This is a bit too bad, isn't it, Odanna-sama?" After having his fun hiding, then finally being found out, Odanna-sama's face got a bit bored and sullen. But the respectable elder took off his mask, and bowed his head deeply. His monkey face seemed to have remained the same, but there were deeply-etched wrinkles on it, which definitely showed his very old age. The other Kaku-zaru didn't seem to be fazed with Odanna-sama. This was as otherworldy, remotely and as detached to the outside world as it can get. "Please give us your permission, Odanna-sama!" "Oh, do not worry, it's fine. However, the North's Hachiyo.. Can he not do it?" "Yes. We have not received any help from the North's Hachiyo. That is out of the question right now, as the Hachiyo has turned a blind eye on the arrival and movements of the brigands." P59 "I knew it..." "What, how can you say that, Odanna-sama?" I couldn't follow how the conversations flowed. During such times, when called for, a Hachiyo doesn't comply with the wishes of the people of the land? It seems to be like that here, in the Northern Lands. While placing his hand on his jaw, Odanna-sama explained to me the situation. "Apparently, the Northern Lands have a problem in their hands. The other name for this land is called "The Land of Glaciers", and is Kakuriyo's largest land area, and in this land there is a historical giant ice castle. But because the nature of this place is harshly cold, it is undoubtedly the most difficult to live alongside that harshness. The current Hachiyo holds a strong influence as a distinguished Ayakashi, and has been able to create stability within the boundaries of the Northern Lands.. But after countless years, that Hachiyo has succumbed to an illness." Really-- Prior to this, the Southern lands were deeply concerned with handling a unique problem, but even here in the Northern lands they also had problems. "Well,now that the entirety of the land is in chaos, from now on we must strike back at the bandits that have been having their ways in expanding their territories in the mountains here and there. But the Ozuma-gang.. They're an especially powerful bunch. Nonetheless, since I came from the North-eastern Lands which I have control over, I think we can apply some mugwort and moxybust them out." Odanna-sama said all of those standing tall and with a suave look. As if holding on to those words, the Kaku-zaru's elder who was previously losing hope suddenly, and with fire opened his eyes. "We cannot call upon the North's Hachiyo anymore. But can we impose upon the master of Tenjin-ya, along with the Miko-sama? P60 Please, for the sake of our village, make those bandits leave us!" "Ohh. But you kidnapped my new wife who fell inside a hole, isn't that request a bit selfish? And what's more, you also restrained my hands." It's not like that, that was pretty much my own fault, and it's why Odanna-sama's behavior was incomprehensible. "It's a rare chance that we got to enjoy apple-picking, but you have interrupted our date, Aoi and I. If Aoi hated me because of what I did, what then? Hm?" "Odanna-sama, right now you're being too selfish and holding grudges. Moreover, at this point I can't hate you..." "Really, Aoi? If that's the case, do you like me?" "Nah, I don't know." I replied a considerably appropriate answer to Odanna-sama, who was brimming with expectations. With such a frank answer, Odanna-sama felt dejected and with a disheartened look hunched his back and sat alongside the already sitting Kaku-zaru. Well, that was indeed depressing... "Well then, where is the Ozuma-gang right now?" Odanna-sama continued the conversation with a blank face. "They were in a nearby mountain territory yesterday, and tonight they announced that they will be coming here, to eat and feast in the banquet hall." P61 I caught a glimpse of Odanna-sama agreeing and nodding. "Aoi, what do you think we must do?" "Ehh? Me?" Him seeking for my opinion was very unusual. I thought for a bit, and answered in all honesty. "These people, I think it's a pity that the food they have now won't last until after winter.." "Hahaha, as expected of you, you were worried more about their food. Even though my companion was kidnapped to be worshipped, you were still the same, your nature of involving yourself with Ayakashi and their food still came out." "Even if I fell and rolled down a hole and everywhere hurts, I don't think I'm in any other kind of danger." "What the.. You got hurt?! Let me look at you to see if you got bruised--" "Odanna-sama, this isn't the time to talk like that--" This time my words were taken as a harsh reply by Odanna-sama, and despite the conversation getting derailed due to inappropriateness, I returned it to its original traction. Seeing the situation as such, the Kaku-zaru seemed to be perplexed. "Ahem, Well, I am also a Hachiryo. This may be the Northern Lands' problem, but I wouldn't know if the bandits may have brazenly invaded the North-eastern Lands. As such, repelling them from here is my job. I have a deep consideration of Aoi's heart, but I can lend you my hand." P62 "Ohhhhhh.." Hearing Odanna-sama's words, everyone seemed to have more hope, and they raised their voices with relief. "A normal ogre would always back out and retreat, but now you have become Kakuriyo's dark hero!" "My soon-to-be wife wouldn't like that." "You've said that already, why are saying that again?" "There are two chairs for two people on that altar, it somehow vaguely seems to be for a king and queen." "Well, that seems to be a fun situation, isn't it Odanna-sama?" Odanna-sama's reception may have been weird and without familiarity, but I think they were sincere. But... "Alright then. Since you said so, Aoi go back to Tenjin-ya." "Whaaat?" All of a sudden, Odanna-sama commanded me to return! Even though he said "I have consideration for Aoi”! "Wh-- Why? I wanted to help in any way too--" "That's out of the question. Those bandits are armed, and a despicable bunch. Having a human girl's body, you'll be in danger, and that is terrifying--" "So that being the case, Odanna-sama is not in danger?" "What's that? Are you.. Worrying for me?" P63 As Odanna-sama was peeking at my face, his face immediately showed a naughty smile. "I'm an ogre. I am different from the weak Aoi. This time your cooking skills can't resolve it." "Th... That I can understand.." Surely, I wonder if I can't get any stronger. Until now it was different, and I wondered if there's a possibility that I can fight with arms? But.. "But, I was thinking of helping up with the cooking back at the banquet hall..." "Again, when it comes to that you're still planning to cook..." Odanna-sama looked at me with a puzzled look, and I prepared myself. "But.. Ah, I see, there's more, if we add sleeping drugs to their food, when they get sleepy won't it be easier to beat them?" "What?" Hearing a mediocre yet dangerous suggestion, Odanna-sama got startled. Even the Kaku-zaru got shocked and couldn't move. As expected, the tactic was such a cliche. 'What the.. What is this atmosphere? I know it's too common. It's a joke." "No, it was so you, Aoi. I guess, you being Shirou's granddaughter, you thought of that." "You guess?" P64 "No, Aoi you had suffered and fought in so many battlefields that you have become resourcefull all around, that's a housewife!" "What the.. You don't have to follow me around against your own will, Odanna-sama--" I realized that this was much like Grandpa's style, and I saw that I have come so far. "However, this isn't exactly classical, so I don't think that it's diabolical. Yes. The mountain apples that we picked, and when we use the Hyakumeyama momiji branch, we can probably make it good." Despite my cliched suggestion, Odanna-sama seemed to have openly agreed to it. He tapped on my shoulder with his hand, and his face turned into an evil ogre. "Aoi, you can definitely depend on your special skills."

End of Chapter 2, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 1    Next - Chapter 3

Volume 1 Translations by Kakuriyo-translations

Prologue               Chapter 1             Chapter 2       Chapter 3        Chapter 4

I translated Volume 1  Chapter 5 here

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations  and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae + RL : Talk for literally 6000+ goddamn words

caepaecaesurae Sawv you mention on a post somewvhere, something about wvoes wvith monogamous quadrants carnivalsoration yeah. mostly huntress, but a bit of residual annoyance from lilac and i love wicked but like... feel a little like i can't do nothin that even implies pale leanin with anyone else without him feelin sad carnivalsoration why?

caepaecaesurae Been there before.  I tend to be fairly open about wvhere I and my quadrants spend our time, and it comes into conflict wvhen others are not Seldom fun, though mine are thankfully relaxed about these things at the moment It's alwvays hard to assess wvhere a particular person's rules and boundaries lay carnivalsoration it just sucks cuz lil's a pale slut and every time we have a talk bout relationships he perceives it as pale unless i'm talkin bout huntress specifically and he flips like a motherfucker when i'm just talkin and like.... am i supposed ta feel bad about that? should i try ta stop that? ain't like he can control how he feels... and then fuckin /huntress/ had ta be coaxed into thinkin me havin my own top leaf wasn't cheatin carnivalsoration ... i gotta be honest you probably know how sugary'd react ta me wantin another flush better than i do caepaecaesurae To be honest, it probably depends on howv you choose to phrase it caepaecaesurae I think the key part to keeping her happy is letting her be First(tm), and havwe there be a wvay in wvhich she is definitely wvinning carnivalsoration wow last time i tried that i was worried she would stab me the whole time caepaecaesurae Did she? carnivalsoration and i still feel like i escaped maiming by a hair nah caepaecaesurae Non-consensually? carnivalsoration nah chill your roll i wouldn't hide it if she did that shit don't fly caepaecaesurae Emotional convwersations wvith her can be hard, I'm fairly sure.  I generally avwoid them carnivalsoration i told her i don't love her romantically caepaecaesurae That sounds like it wvould complicate polyamory quite a bit carnivalsoration yeah 'hey can i date someone who i also don't love romantically' 'no they're not replacin you. i just like em. they're neat.' i think i mostly escaped cuz she didn't understand what the fuck i was talkin about she just thought i was bein stupid and nitpicky caepaecaesurae I think in that situation, I'd just call all newv interests lovwers, let her retain the 'official matesprit' title, and let the others knowv that potential jealousy is the only thing keeping them from advwancing further Rather, keeping the wvords I use to refer to them from advwancing further ... It's fairly likely that she doesn't completely understand emotional love as a concept, directly. carnivalsoration so matesprits in everythin but name caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration not a bad idea caepaecaesurae If you wvant her to understand, vwisit her wvhile she's like this.  She can feel lovwe. Until she and Lurky swvap back carnivalsoration ... it makes me uncomfortable caepaecaesurae Fair carnivalsoration lurky already makes me uncomfortable but this is a step beyond not even the Love feedin thing, just... she's hair caepaecaesurae Does it help any if I say she's surprisingly laid back about potentially serious conflicts, if evweryone invwolvwed just decides to be calm about it? carnivalsoration and taffy caepaecaesurae Not into tentacles then? carnivalsoration mood nope i like things with faces caepaecaesurae I'm sure she could imitate a fewv, possibly sevweral at a time, and that it wvould be vwery upsetting. carnivalsoration i only like one kinda tentacle and there's gotta be a body attached wow no caepaecaesurae WVell, there is a body attached Technically hers carnivalsoration you're killin me here brother caepaecaesurae ... I should stop teasing, I'm sorry. carnivalsoration don't worry you were a few shades shy of real discomfort caepaecaesurae I'm glad I think it's best, during this anon, to just.. regard them as non-sexual beings.  VWoice-chatting wvith her, vwia a ... relay, I suppose, that's physically attached to her normal body. carnivalsoration i mean. me and sugar already don't usually have sex caepaecaesurae She's there, she can be spoken to.  So can Lurky.  Lurky mainly likes petting carpet. carnivalsoration weird..... caepaecaesurae If you evwer wvanted to get pictures of Sugary doing remarkably silly things, or just to wvitness her body doing it, it's a grand opportunity They'vwe discovwered the concept of laughter, and enjoy evwery chance to do it. It's a little charming carnivalsoration i can accept so damn much about tumblr god game nonsense but this is still a step beyond what i got the tools ta deal with ... that's kinda cute but also a horrorterror so thats still weird like. whole thing. super odd fuckin cursed (you can tiptoe around the god thing) caepaecaesurae I'm sorry the multivwerse is so unrelentingly much carnivalsoration thanks like. body switching... the fuck. caepaecaesurae I'm glad that univwerses protect people from most of this sort of thing, most of the time. carnivalsoration i can contextualize a lotta other shit but like. how do you contextualize your body not being yours or someones face bein someone else caepaecaesurae Reminds me of mindscourges and vwoodoo a bit. carnivalsoration from the outside but i don't inhabit a body if i take control of it it's grabbin strings, not hhhh okay yeah subject change caepaecaesurae I can't think of any metaphors less upsetting, so aye carnivalsoration it's just gettin to me the same way parasites do carnivalsoration not as much. but in a similar way anyway. thanks for advice with sugar caepaecaesurae She adores you, and the fond regard you share Evwen if the specifics are a bit vwague carnivalsoration i adore her. i just don't feel for her like i do for wicked or like Ii did for ... anyway caepaecaesurae I think she has a hard time understanding normal trolls Or wvays in wvhich a troll can differ from the norm, since she has no reference point carnivalsoration mood carnivalsoration i told her that would get better eventually i ain't really a normal troll either caepaecaesurae The most vwaluable tool in your arsenal then, is remembering that making a pinky swvear about key facts can sometimes just make evwerything fine again. I don't knowv wvhy it wvorks, but it's vwery comforting carnivalsoration was that you or her caepaecaesurae A uniquely terrible fusion of both carnivalsoration that's... even better caepaecaesurae She's the one wvho believwes it easily I'm the one wvho... I suppose helps on followv-through once wve Do believwe it Once wve Did believwe it caepaecaesurae wvhatevwer carnivalsoration yeah caepaecaesurae If you can get me to believwe and accept an arbitrary honorable declaration, it can resolvwe complicated emotional situations completely. carnivalsoration that makes sense caepaecaesurae Sometimes things are ovwer and done, and it's just that simple. carnivalsoration ... huh i don't work like that at all wow caepaecaesurae She almost does. carnivalsoration it's mostly the 'believe' bit like how do you just. trust someone wow carnivalsoration the fuck caepaecaesurae I believwe her culture glorifies the ability to resolvwe conflicts swviftly. Particularly paths that maintain peace and cheer. carnivalsoration fuck.... it's alien as hell. when i bother ta think about it i keep forgettin her vapidness is a cultural thing caepaecaesurae On a more normal levwel, she likes being wvith you, and is vwery biased towvards information that supports you twvo being together. It may also be a biological thing, partly.  Lurky's complained about a short attention span a fewv times, in the current arrangement, wvhich I wvill resume not talking about. carnivalsoration thanks sugar is the least of my worries beyond maiming carnivalsoration shes simple i love her for it. but she is just... she don't make things complicated on an emotional level caepaecaesurae It's vwery direct Not much mess or fuss Just a bit of upkeep carnivalsoration yeah. ... you're just wantin gossip more or less, right? and ta give relationship advice hahaha caepaecaesurae Gossip is my lifeblood The advwice is just a bad habit carnivalsoration ;o) just makin sure i know your motive carnivalsoration luckily i love to bitch caepaecaesurae Don't wve all? WVhat other motivwes wvere you checking for? carnivalsoration shrug, i thought it was either that or you were thinkin a somethin specific ta talk on caepaecaesurae Broad and fair carnivalsoration i didn't know what you might wanna talk on, just approachin me with that particular topic seemed like it coulda been pointed somewhere particular ... so. how the fuck does ash work there also why the fuck are there so many fuckers with martyr complexes on tumblr caepaecaesurae There's howv it wvorked on Alternia, wvhich wvas one thing, and there's howv evweryone in my clade seems to handle it, wvhich is influencing howv it's handled in my current univwerse carnivalsoration gimme what you got caepaecaesurae On Alternia it wvas more of a temporary arrangement most of the time, wvith a fewv famous stable pairings wvhere contact wvas unavwoidable, and conflicts wvere incompletely resolvweable. Here..  It's expanded a bit.  An ashen seems to be able to meddle betwveen twvo trolls in any kind of relationship, not just pitch-that-should-not-be. Additionally, floating top leavwes are fairly common -- wvhere a troll has a stable, permanent auspistice wvho patches in temporarily, any time anyone has a conflict wvith their paramour carnivalsoration you and arlequin caepaecaesurae Aye, that carnivalsoration and pal and his ash caepaecaesurae Pal's matesprit has one as wvell I think. carnivalsoration neat caepaecaesurae It... can be convwenient, wvhen a troll has certain subjects about wvhich they are unreasonable or frequently in conflict Anyone wvho encounters such a conflict knowvs wvho can translate, and ensure a debate goes smoothly carnivalsoration lil needs that honestly caepaecaesurae Though there are unfortunate.. complications, at times If the bottom leaf comes into conflict wvith someone wvho has a conflict wvith the top leaf, the top leaf's presence wvill not help much So such arrangements are necessarily still somewvhat selectivwe carnivalsoration makes sense caepaecaesurae I do think Lil wvould do wvell wvith an open auspisticism carnivalsoration none of that sounds outta line for what i know caepaecaesurae He seems to often speak wvithout thinking about the reactions he wvill receivwe carnivalsoration temp ashen was way more common, in my experience, political ash are often floating, ash is usually for pitch but also useful for conflicts and toxic relationships, though its way harder ta get motherfuckers to believe they need an ash in that case lil is a talky little shit who only thinks he's not morally superior when he's not actively engaged in an argument caepaecaesurae I'vwe nevwer gotten particularly close, or spoken wvith him in much detail. I think he's offended that I spent a bit crimson, by choice. carnivalsoration and he treats any mildly offended counterpoint as an attack yeah he's a ridiculous little sjw hahaha caepaecaesurae I'll be debating it wvith him somenight I'm not sure wvhen carnivalsoration i wanna go temp ash between him and fex but huntress won't have it at fuckin all caepaecaesurae It's a shame wvhen things are different across univwerses WVhat wvould she think about it, if she had a conflict wvith a third party, and you assisted her wvith that? caepaecaesurae Still just as bad, or is it suddenly different wvhen it's about her? If it's jealousy, can it be resolvwed wvith givwing her some balance of separate attention? carnivalsoration she said she'd stop interactin with that person altogether to keep from bein a cheat caepaecaesurae Yikes. No idea if that's because her univwerse is different, her personal stance is different, or just because she's younger, but I wvish you luck carnivalsoration i fuckin know, right? she considers it cheating for me, her top leaf, to have a top leaf carnivalsoration even a temp one even a political one caepaecaesurae A grey area, pardon the pun carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha she's also the martyr type caepaecaesurae Speaking of, wvhat do you mean by martyr? carnivalsoration so i dunno if she actually accepted that i need this and she was alright with it or if she is just lettin me run over her aight, i think your purpose in life is ta have a good damn time. and some religious shit, but that's irrelevant carnivalsoration so when a motherfucker goes 'no, my quad is more important, and i will suffer so they can have fun' it pisses me off caepaecaesurae It annoys me mostly wvhen it's unecessary carnivalsoration martyr: some fucker who puts their health and wellbeing at risk for others relatively irrelevant shit for a long period of time. all the time. caepaecaesurae Aye.  Some trolls think that's howv life wvorks. carnivalsoration either gettin bitter or losin their own sense of self. ruinin the relationship but draggin it out just cuz they didn't put their foot down while the other person thinks shit is fine! pisses me off like. why the fuck don't they just love themselves caepaecaesurae It's important to be able to trust that your partner is telling you an apt amount of the truth. Evwen I fall into that trap occasionally. carnivalsoration sometimes bad shit happens and you gotta wade through it together. but thats way different from layin down in the mud and lettin em walk on you caepaecaesurae Or hiding things to "protect" them. carnivalsoration i put people equal to me, brought my own happiness down for them, before. but i always expected we would crawl outta the pit together yeah fuck that carnivalsoration .... okay i done that one a couple times caepaecaesurae One must choose wvhether a quadrant is a partner or some sort of odd pet that is being fostered, and stick to that choice.  And be honest about it. carnivalsoration but i'm gettin better yeah. caepaecaesurae I think evweryone wvith good intentions or a privwate streak does that one a fewv times. carnivalsoration ... tellin wicked things is hard sometimes cuz i don't wanna make him sad.... but i'm gettin better so it's fine caepaecaesurae Progress is all one can hope for carnivalsoration anyway huntress's a mess caepaecaesurae She seems pleasant and wvell-meaning carnivalsoration she's a little brat who's been pining over some damn karkat who ditched her cuz she protected him with ~violence~ caepaecaesurae The young become amazingly invwested in some things carnivalsoration i think it's been sweeps caepaecaesurae Oh, gods.. Her univwerse's karkat? carnivalsoration yeah. yeah! beforan, for what that means to you caepaecaesurae tsk.  I wvish her luck wvith that caepaecaesurae I'vwe been Beforan Some trolls are young trolls, and Beforus is a young planet. carnivalsoration she says shes just glad he's happy but i can fuckin tell. she's torn all up and still callin him good annoying. caepaecaesurae It could be she knowvs it just wvouldn't wvork. If he's that firm about an ideal like that, and her instincts say to protect him... carnivalsoration she won't even ask caepaecaesurae It may not wvork out Aye?  But she can decide if she thinks it wvould be annoying. carnivalsoration she lets herself live in limbo it's annoying! caepaecaesurae Maybe she needs to stop pining then carnivalsoration like. damn, if someone ain't treatin you right you treat yourself right and ditch em yeah that's what i said. but she is impressively stubborn it's annoyin and not what my job is so i'm leavin it why you interested in polyamory anyway? caepaecaesurae It's her call wvhat to do wvith her pusher,and I'm sure it wvill be a revwelation for the ages that wvill leavwe her changed and growvn for the experience But some such journeys are best left to those participating, so, aye caepaecaesurae I don't see the details of it discussed much I see people in the main ultra-clade havwing ten lovwers and three moirails each, but little about specific logistical questions carnivalsoration I got just the three quads and a handful of lovers carnivalsoration i don't even necessarily want other quads so much as i feel stuck in the boxes cuz all the current ones are strict bout it caepaecaesurae I'm blessed to havwe the quadrants I do carnivalsoration lucky fuck caepaecaesurae Fewv to no long-term lovwers though Sympathy.  I'vwe dated trolls that wvere on the strict side before, and it can chafe carnivalsoration (no comment cuz i don't want you feelin weird) weird thing is i'm pretty boxy myself, i just. like, quads blur a little at the edges? carnivalsoration and i feel like i gotta stay way away from the edge which is lame caepaecaesurae > (picture of a cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration hahahahaha caepaecaesurae > (picture of a different cat in a too-small box) caepaecaesurae > (picture of a third cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration honestly i dunno if it'd chafe so much if i didn't have so many quads. never been this close ta full up before, aside from the whole two weeks ash and pitch were inhabited at the same time caepaecaesurae WVith so many of them, there's less space for unlabled things carnivalsoration yeah. carnivalsoration i got a kinda flush kinda pale submissive thing goin on with one of my lovers, but i feel a little weird mentionin it caepaecaesurae I don't think there's anything wvrong wvith that if it isn't threatening your primary quadrants at all carnivalsoration mostly cuz a sugar. also cuz it's close but it's mostly sex still. caepaecaesurae I think the popular hack for that is to make up a newv symbol carnivalsoration .... like her though. she's sweet hahahahaha maybe caepaecaesurae I knowv a pair of trolls that go around wvith <2 carnivalsoration i'll just have an eggplant be our quad symbol .... ain't that fex and twoblade? some damn captor for sure.... caepaecaesurae Aye, that's the one carnivalsoration i know a pitch pale pair who got <*> caepaecaesurae That's a good one An eggplant's a bit hard to copy into text though carnivalsoration true i dunno. how many quads you got by the by? caepaecaesurae A full set of four carnivalsoration well shit you gonna add any more to the bunch, ya think? caepaecaesurae I'm not honestly sure carnivalsoration got anyone in mind? caepaecaesurae I knowv howv I wvas on Alternia, and howv... wvidespread my attention tended to growv, but I'vwe been different since Wvell I don't see any direct and immediate contenders in my future, despite a bit of vwery directed teasing on a fewv fronts carnivalsoration oh? :o) teasing from where caepaecaesurae Oh, clade carnivalsoration bout who carnivalsoration ;o) i gave you gossip now you gotta give me some caepaecaesurae WVell, carnivalsoration well~? caepaecaesurae > Does he want to admit to having a crush on the Demoness, or *Ringleader's Matesprit*? > These are both bad options.  He tries to think of any other crush. > What about Wicked, Ringleader's moirail.  But only as a lover.  Uh. caepaecaesurae > What about a random name, but then Ringleader will expect him to follow through caepaecaesurae ah carnivalsoration you aight over there? caepaecaesurae Romantic situations that aren't fully settled put me in a bit of a conniption I'm not sure wvhere to sart carnivalsoration you got so many people you're thinkin of? or just a lotta people you get teased over? caepaecaesurae Sevweral tease-wvorthy ones carnivalsoration pick one caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, wvhen I wvas extremely young, there wvas a vwery brief infatuation wvith my Zahhak WVhile nowv many, many centuries passed I still hear about it from time to time carnivalsoration oh hey what stopped it? caepaecaesurae His complete lack of interest and a bit of a prank carnivalsoration hahahahaha shoulda been more persistent, it worked for dual caepaecaesurae He decided to feign a caepaecaesurae lifestyle for our first and only date carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae He suggested wve go to a field to graze carnivalsoration HAHAHAHAHAHAHA caepaecaesurae WVe wvere teen beforans He wvas serious. carnivalsoration fuck! caepaecaesurae I did not ask him out again carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, some things aren't meant to be carnivalsoration fuck that's amazing i gotta tell dual ask him if that woulda stopped his pining caepaecaesurae Gods Please don't tell him wvhich alternate carnivalsoration ;o) our secret caepaecaesurae There wvas literally a field I did not graze. carnivalsoration i was about to ask hahahaha carnivalsoration so we got one down, who else you gettin teased on caepaecaesurae Chiieeef, you're killing me... carnivalsoration ;o) i'll make it up to you later caepaecaesurae I'vwe been fairly shy about lovwers in general for a wvhile, but that's been picking up a little bit Seldom more than once per troll, but carnivalsoration tell me if i should lay off caepaecaesurae Sorry if it's a mood kill carnivalsoration i know you and sugar hooked up, can't remember if it was during or after bein trickstered caepaecaesurae It wvas suggested during, but wve did get together a bit after carnivalsoration oh good. i made dumb as fuck decisions as a trickster, glad ya don't gotta deal with that caepaecaesurae Oh, I tried There's one troll I'vwe purposefully stayed platonic wvith for some swveeps, to avwoid givwing his matesprit jealousy issues That staying platonic wvas rather narrowv, and had nothing to do wvith me carnivalsoration oh, you worry bout jealousy then? caepaecaesurae These things aren't really sustainable if one doesn't carnivalsoration > A slow smile starts to spread across his face as a couple of things click into place. caepaecaesurae There wvas a time I didn't bother, and I had a vwery exciting life ...it's much easier if I just respect boundaries. WVhich invwolvwes finding out wvhat they are carnivalsoration ya know, to find out what they are, you gotta ask caepaecaesurae Aye, usually, but sometimes one can get a vwery good sense just from reading a troll carnivalsoration gotta make sure a motherfucker ain't the jealous type before ya go after his matesprit. can't mention you actually want his matesprit cuz what if he decides its a challenge. ... i just realized you might panic if i play coy ask sugar out caepaecaesurae Fucking hell carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, there's more reasons than Just that that it's terribly complicated, but thank you carnivalsoration yeah yeah i know its a publicity thing, and you actually live somewhere they'll give a fuck but hey, if you wanna go after her, you can probably give her things i can't anyway caepaecaesurae I wvas wvicked's casual lovwer briefly, for a time, before VWelius got possessivwe and wve stopped. I mean, for wvhat that's wvorth carnivalsoration yeah i know caepaecaesurae I think she needs someone wvho can admit that there's anything, too carnivalsoration i mean... ... she's got me for that. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration i like her a lot. .... but like. do you ... romantically? caepaecaesurae WVe relate to her in vwery different wvays carnivalsoration we understand her in similar ways though carnivalsoration (we nice and panic free over there?) caepaecaesurae The problems I'm havwing finding the wvords aren't related to fear ...but thank you I think wve can actually havwe this convwersation carnivalsoration :oD i was gonna tease you for a bit but uh. caepaecaesurae I don't entirely knowv wvhat I'm doing wvith her, except that this is the first or second time I'vwe been led into something by a part of me that didn't bother asking my advwice first.  ...Since coming to Prosperity. On Alternia, falling into things like this wvas a wvay of life, and I let it happen evwery single time. carnivalsoration huh caepaecaesurae I am inexplicably fond of her, and I really wvish that wvas more dependant on her moral stature than it is. carnivalsoration hahaha she's doin better. i'm proud of her. caepaecaesurae She is. carnivalsoration she's actually started to think i have low standards for puttin up with her caepaecaesurae It's lovwely to see howv far she's come, and howv wvell she does. Really? carnivalsoration yeah. when she healed my horns she hugged me tight and said she had to go before she stole me away. and i told her i was proud of her for lettin me do what i had to and she said i needed higher standards hahaha carnivalsoration which. probably. ... but i dunno, with someone like her, its easier to judge by effort and intent than by progress by way of distance gone caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration and she's puttin in a lotta effort caepaecaesurae Evwen wvith backslides, like evwery time someone she hasn't seen in ovwer a swveep pops online, ... carnivalsoration yeah... caepaecaesurae Evwen the backslides are growving milder. carnivalsoration she deserves more people in her corner who ain't fussin endlessly like val tries to do caepaecaesurae "Oops, I took a captivwe" became "Oops, I tormented someone vwerbally", wvhich becomes "Oops, I forgot they legitimately hate me for something that I didn't pay attention to..." carnivalsoration she tells me her moments of weakness so i can help her not caepaecaesurae She's doing wvell enough that evwen some of her enemies are thawving a bit carnivalsoration she asked me to ask muralist if he still felt compelled to obey her so she would know if she can interact with him and still have him comfortable. and had me do it so he wouldn't panic right off caepaecaesurae Oh, that's clevwer carnivalsoration ;o) caepaecaesurae WVe tend to commisserate, any time one of our reputations bites us carnivalsoration mine ain't some fuckin how caepaecaesurae WVhich is nice carnivalsoration maybe it's cuz i'm so far removed. maybe it's cuz i dont seem to care caepaecaesurae Maybe it's because no one you'vwe wvronged has a popular tumblr account carnivalsoration a couple fuckers sent me asks in those first few days after the tents got ... and i talked all guilty and they kept at it carnivalsoration but the second i stopped they stopped tormenting me caepaecaesurae They're harsh sometimes. carnivalsoration they're talentless i deserve better from an interrogator the only reason they got me at all is cuz they kicked me when i was down caepaecaesurae They've gotten me like that a fewv tims carnivalsoration fex don't trust me. but he trusts me enough to let me on prosperity nadaya's suspicion evaporated once i stopped hidin ... i dunno. rep's weird caepaecaesurae Arty's gotten a lot more trusting in general, wvhich is nice. carnivalsoration good for me at least caepaecaesurae I think she likes knowving that reputation problems aren't just hers, and also that they can be mostly resolvwed. Evwen if little flareups happen. carnivalsoration yeah. ... so if it wouldn't hurt your rep, would ya try for her flush? caepaecaesurae Most of the comisseration started off, in the early days, as just "Here's something terrible but relatable that happened to someone that isn't you" carnivalsoration hahahaha wish i had someone like you when i fell i was way slower than her caepaecaesurae My rep, my current clade wvho are all vwiolently allergic to both her bloodline and her in particular, ... carnivalsoration yeah. sucks. i've only got one fucker in my inclade who's violently allergic to me but that's. too damn many. caepaecaesurae There's a thousand and one reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork carnivalsoration and yet you care enough ta go fishin for how i'd feel bout it. you're a hopeful fucker ain't you. caepaecaesurae I think she's a good friend carnivalsoration boo, cop out caepaecaesurae And some friendships are nevwer clearly described or labled carnivalsoration .... :o) caepaecaesurae Some friendships are like that on purpose carnivalsoration you do you. caepaecaesurae You're a breath of fresh air, chief. carnivalsoration tell me more tell me more caepaecaesurae Hahaha carnivalsoration what can i say, i love complements caepaecaesurae I.. hope to take care that my friendship wvith her nevwer negativwely impacts anyone's relationships.  Mine or hers. If she gets fussy about you havwing anyone else, you might be able to use it as a wvay to encourage openmindedness in her though. carnivalsoration hahahaha caepaecaesurae If she gets vwague friends, no reason other people can't havwe them carnivalsoration you are really good at gettin fuckers on your side carnivalsoration .... where do we stand? caepaecaesurae If I must havwe but one talent, let it be that one carnivalsoration hahaha caepaecaesurae It's nice to havwe that off my mind, honestly.  Not that I wvas or wvasn't activwely checking anything. caepaecaesurae I appreciate it, and your wvillingness to break character in the middle of teasing Evwen Muralist has to remind me nowv and again carnivalsoration well as much as i like games, i played the wrong one to start and now teasing looks like danger unless i'm real clear bout it. so imma be clear. carnivalsoration ... so uh. you don't usually take lovers more than once or twice? caepaecaesurae Lately carnivalsoration yeah. caepaecaesurae I wvas wvith WVicked a wvhile, though I think it depends on the troll, and on opportunity carnivalsoration how do i rank i aint gonna be mad if i don't place. caepaecaesurae You're a good troll, and I appreciate the effort you put into keeping me at ease.  And I'm sorry for howv long you wvere on edge about me, and any stress that may havwe added to the rebellion carnivalsoration eh, you thought it was more handled than it was i'm a paranoid motherfucker and that's on me caepaecaesurae WVe both havwe moments like that. carnivalsoration so long as we do our best we'll turn out fine. caepaecaesurae aye.  I did enjoy that evwening, evwen if I spent a wvhile facepalming at myself after the anon wvore off caepaecaesurae Not because of anything you did carnivalsoration > .... H..op..ef....ul? > He's being vague but there's complements involved. nah i understand. caepaecaesurae You knowv the feeling, wvhen your cautious side is exasperated wvith your less cautious side, but evwerything still turned out wvell carnivalsoration i did shit i don't exactly regret but i weren't quite ready for caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration ... nah. i was ready, i wasnt set like. ya gotta psyche yourself up for that shit, and i was already psyched, and then i was me and it was sudden carnivalsoration makes shit a bit awkward hahahaha caepaecaesurae Aye It's fascinating, though carnivalsoration i can't tell if youre dodgin, stallin, or you think you've given me an answer caepaecaesurae Somenight I should psyche myself up for a more honest repeat.  I'm slowv as hell though, and it doesn't seem fair or wvise to set hopes up carnivalsoration honk! caepaecaesurae It takes me a running start and ten paragraphs to answver any question, chief. carnivalsoration hahahaha you just like puttin motherfuckers on the edge of their seats. caepaecaesurae I like being exact and explicit Length runs in the blood, I suppose carnivalsoration ;o) but exact things don't weave around the point so much as you caepaecaesurae Think of it as a skycraft circling in for a landing You havwe to spend at least an hour gradually examining the question from all angles before you can come in for your final approach carnivalsoration you draw shapes in the clouds while you're at it carnivalsoration i like it though. even if 'you're a good troll' is the perfect set up for 'let's just be friends' caepaecaesurae Sorry carnivalsoration hahaha it's aight. kept the suspense up caepaecaesurae It's also a good setup for "Not wvhen my pan is wvild, and I havwe no idea wvhen it wvon't be" carnivalsoration i can wait til you're ready caepaecaesurae Nowv you're going to make me blus carnivalsoration and if i die of old age before you get round to it, well guess you're just not into older dudes good, you glow pretty caepaecaesurae I don't think it wvill take anywvhere near that long carnivalsoration hey, now i got a timeframe! before i die :op caepaecaesurae WVell, ideally carnivalsoration i'm just fine waitin as long as ya need. caepaecaesurae You're a peach. Maybe sometime wve'll finally get around to that music night. carnivalsoration :o* :oD one a these nights and there won't even be war to weigh it down caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae Sorry for not helping out more wvith that carnivalsoration how do you mean? caepaecaesurae It seems like I let my owvn wvariness get in the wvay of helping Since part of wvhat wve wvere going to discuss at that meeting included things like planning carnivalsoration if i didn't break your trust you woulda done it actions got consequences. that's how it goes i ain't gonna be mad at you for keepin your own self safe caepaecaesurae WVe all havwe our journeys I suppose Thank you carnivalsoration beyond that, no way of knowin how much difference it woulda made, so there's no server worrying bout what coulda happened instead,aight? you bet, brother caepaecaesurae It's a bit odd, this isn't the first time I'vwe been called hopeful or an idealist. carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae This wveek, evwen. Is it that idealistic to circuitously examine the lay of the land? carnivalsoration mmmmm depends if you're bein cautious or lingerin back to dream a little longer caepaecaesurae Heh. Must a man choose? carnivalsoration i think you're a practical idealist. so ya do both, imagining best and worst scenario. :o) caepaecaesurae And seeking lists of reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork, as much as seeking reasons it wvould carnivalsoration yeah~ caepaecaesurae Tsk, wvhat's that ~ caepaecaesurae No need for ~'s carnivalsoration uh... they slip in from time ta time caepaecaesurae Tsk, pardon.  It read like teasing again carnivalsoration haha nah. i just like seeing you dream caepaecaesurae Tsk I suppose dreamer's as good a wvord for it as any carnivalsoration yeah idealist, dreamer. i been lead ta believe they're the same thing, cept dreamers don't try as hard to make their shit come true caepaecaesurae An interesting difference Chasing perfection is an interesting game. carnivalsoration yeah. idealists are people who got a place to go. dreamers already found the place they wanna be and it's in their skull and you're definitely more the former. but ya know... nothin wrong with dreamin from time to time caepaecaesurae WVhat about someone wvhose dreams are easy to make real? carnivalsoration lucky :o) either that or soon ta be disillusioned. if they're easy ta make real then they probably weren't that great ta begin with. either way, soon they'd be dreamin somethin else i think caepaecaesurae True enough It's easy to lose interest in a dream that came easily carnivalsoration this is like three levels deep into old man philosophising for me, how bout you caepaecaesurae This wvell doesn't really havwe a bottom, and I can divwe forevwer carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I hear tell some people havwe trouble holding their breath quite so long Rumors, you knowv. "Air". They like talking about things that, you knowv, exist Or matter carnivalsoration for the young, i like metaphors with only the slimmest basis in reality and relevance caepaecaesurae It can be a fun game to see howv long it takes them to realise you aren't actually saying anything. caepaecaesurae Been a wvhile since I'vwe done that one. carnivalsoration fuck hahahahahaha caepaecaesurae "Ah yes, the paint wveathers wvith time." "Yes, you havwe it, it's like the birds." carnivalsoration half the time i'm not sure if i'm sayin much either, but considerin how many younglings come up to me for advice like i got a handle on things, it's way funner to just say whatever comes to mind and then they leave feelin more sure, either cuz they found sense in what i said, or cuz they know at least they make more sense than me caepaecaesurae I generally try to havwe a point.  I alwvays mean something. WVhether I manage is anyone's guess. Trolls under about ten tend to call me a blowvhard. Not a fan of that. carnivalsoration yeah i don't talk to many trolls under ten i dunno. i have a point but most of it's just like... what i learned is roundabouts what they're lookin to hear, or what other people were lookin to hear when they asked carnivalsoration and then the rest of it just leads back to 'do what makes you happy' with the caveat of 'try not to be a tool' caepaecaesurae I think you'vwe just described howv age and experience wvorks. carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae You're in a light mood It's a interesting change.  You wvere slightly grimmer wvhen wve met carnivalsoration yeah! 's a good night caepaecaesurae I'm glad carnivalsoration hey, i got a Not Rejection and then a whole bunch a jumpin down a rabbit hole just for the fun of thinkin through semantics and motivation carnivalsoration talkin on life is nice, and as long as it don't lead to nothin maudlin i enjoy it. caepaecaesurae It's nice to bring some good to the wvorld carnivalsoration gay caepaecaesurae And I am fond of wvaxing philosophical somenights tsk carnivalsoration hahahahahaha i can't remember what the point of the conversation was anymore or the new point i guess, i figured out the first one oh yeah, we was talkin about you bein an idealist. ... and then i think you mighta started vaguin about your aspect shit at one point caepaecaesurae A bit It's true no matter howv it happens, magic or not, though.  A dream realised quickly is.... shallowv. No matter wvhat that dream consists of. carnivalsoration yeah. sometimes fuckers gotta dream of the little things, to keep goin. but... i dunno, i think it plays back into effort verses result again caepaecaesurae Aye Structure is important carnivalsoration people don't look at effort enough, i think. fuckers struggle with different things, and measurin em by how hard they're strugglin equalizes things a lot better caepaecaesurae It does caepaecaesurae I'm sorry, I'm distracted, I'm thinking about you naked. carnivalsoration oh fuck > Damnit you're flustered, that was sudden as hell. and then what ;o) > Flawless caepaecaesurae No, I think you had it right, do you havwe a fewv minutes? carnivalsoration honk yeah i got time caepaecaesurae I really wvish I understood my pan, sometimes. carnivalsoration > Did you say something sexy in there what the hell happened. > You're not arguing, but /what the hell happened/ oh, cool, am i not the only one confused? caepaecaesurae Oh, hardly, I just roll wvith it. carnivalsoration your place or mine, brother? hahahahaha caepaecaesurae I could be right ovwer carnivalsoration :o! aight