#ANYWAYS im doing alright and ill be bed bound for a while just for the sake of it

[viaetor]

i sadly didn't get to write a lot before one of my surgeries, but i have a funny story to share after my leg surgery. during the surgery, even if i had anesthesia n everything, i could tell there were lots of interns going around and i was so confused abt it bc gods, what's the need of it. after i was checked in to the room, i asked the doctor about it, and in her words, "we couldn't believe you've been able to walk so well with that fucked up leg for so long that we called and used your case as a practical experiment." and I was like omg!!! so flattering!!!!! they gave me candies to compensate for that. I'm now the fanciest patient in the block bc hospital candies cost $$$$, hooray to dealing with a fucked up leg for 4 years!

[wasteyrselfkid]

on turning 21 and other things,

(tw: suicide, mental illness)

i'm okay with being alone on most days, in fact, i love being all alone in my room all day. a book i read a while ago said 'i never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude' and i agree for the most part but sometimes the loneliness gets so overwhelming that being alone feels almost scary, especially on your birthday. i guess loneliness really sets in when you're finishing another revolution around the earth all alone in your bedroom but it's not like i felt any less lonely when I was surrounded by people i know in a crowded club in delhi. I guess what im trying to say is that I am bound to feel this sense of loneliness on every birthday. I fell asleep after writing the last sentence because it got too much even though I told my best friend I need to lie down and cut the call. maybe I just wanted to end the day on a sad note because that's what I've known since I stopped opening birthday gifts on the living room floor at my old house after all my friends left... and i was too distracted or unaware for a lack of better word that everything is not as great as it might seem for a moment.

i never finished writing this and it's been almost a month since i've turned 21. i won't lie i never thought i'd make it to 21. i'm surprised but i won't say i'm not disappointed. last year, on my birthday, once again alone in my room - crying, i promised myself that i'm going to try to become better in every way possible and actually put in the little will and hope i have into taking care of myself and see how it goes till my next birthday. if it doesn't work out, 21 doesn't sound like the worst age to disappear. i made it to 21, a little better in every way possible, still fucking sad from time to time, but i did everything i could or so i say. but i made the same promise myself to again and to be fair, it's not a bad deal. it's ironic that i'm postponing my demise in hopes that i get better, not even happy and content, just better. isn't that what everyone does until they realise it doesn't get better? i won't lie, on a day like today, it feels like it won't get better. but the little voice at the back of my head tries to convince me that it does and until my next birthday, i'll try believing her.

i don't think my life sucks, i don't think i suck either, i just find it extra hard to live life the way its supposed to be lived - to wake up, brush my teeth, work, talk to my friends and family, all of it. it doesn't come easily to me and it never has. even though, anyone who is even close to me or lives in the same house as me, would think that i've got my shit together in every sense possible - i wake up, brush my teeth, work, talk to friends and family, all of it. but every night before i go to bed, i can feel life draining out of me. every consecutive day it gets harder to wake up, i can't even fathom brushing my teeth on some days, and at times, for weeks. i don't know if this is how life is supposed to be lived, in fact, i know even if there's no one correct way to live - this definitely does not come under it. i guess having a couple of screws loose in your head makes you feel grey in every sense possible. even on your birthday. even when you're going to meet your best friend after months. even when you achieve things. it's tiring to experience pain so greatly and pleasure so fleetingly.

thinking about the future has never been exciting, not when i was 13, not now, not ever. how can something that i cannot guarantee be exciting? if anything, it's nerve-wracking. but to disappear forever as a last resort, if nothing works out, is so so so comforting. even though it's at the cost of disappointing everyone around you, but when you've been selfless your entire life - putting everyone else before yourself, this amount of disappointment is warranted for. and i hate the idea of not ending your life because it will disappoint other people, and i never think about this but what about me? how do i feel? i don't know how i feel about turning 21, i don't feel a lot of things these days. i've been living on autopilot. i don't feel the same love i felt for my friends. i can see my family disintegrating day by day and it has been years, i can only wait for it to crumble completely now. i don't feel as scared about losing my boyfriend anymore. i don't feel excited or nervous about future prospects. i don't feel anything about how i look, i don't even care to look at myself in the mirror anymore. i don't feel much but i do think a lot.

everyday i get closer and closer to just disappearing, not dying, but just disappearing from everywhere and everyone's lives. what kind of life is it when you're exhausted at the thought of speaking to your closest friends? what kind of life is it when your favourite hobbies start feeling like chores that require you to move mountains? what kind of life is it when you look into the mirror or your front camera and you don't recognise yourself anymore? what kind of life is it when you don't even care to listen to music or watch movies and use books as an escape, not for pleasure, but just to feel like you're doing something, if nothing at all? what kind of life is it when you don't feel like taking pictures of anything anymore, but you do anyway, because what if your next birthday is your last and people will have more of something to remember you by?

i guess what i'm trying to say is that turning 21 doesn't feel any different than turning any other age, my entire life has been one big blob of grey and as i get older, the blob keeps getting greyer and smaller. i found time to write this today because something disrupted my autopilot mode routine - i did nothing, i cried a little, i smoked a cigarette and thought about all the work i had to do, i skipped my workout. that made me feel shitty enough to sit down and continue writing this. i wonder if when i started writing this, it was meant to be much more hopeful - about how i enjoy solitude and i don't need anyone. and this still holds true. on most days, i'd rather be alone than with anyone. i can probably go days without speaking to people. but what kind of life is it...to enjoy solitude because you're too tired for anything else? and what kind of life is it that requires you to function like a robot to feel alright? and what kind of life is it that this is the kind of blog-post you write on turning 21?

[drkcnry67]

join me?

title: join me?

pairing: Jared x reader

rating: 18+

fluff: single parent AU

kink: shower sex

tags: shower sex, single parent x single nanny, vaginal penetration, climax, asking someone you know to become your partner in raising your child

summery: not telling

mentioning @sweetness47​

created for @spnfluffbingo​ @spnkinkbingo​

kink list   fluff list

the following AD you had placed on all the job boards:

“if you are a Single parent in need of someone to move in to help look after your kids, clean, cook for you Im that person. obviously i can cook, clean, drive, shop for groceries you know the esentials. basically anything you would require of me i can accomplish. call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx, to discuss details. sincerely YN. PS im willing to relocate if needbe. thank you for reading this.”

just like that it was done, it was posted. now, all you had to do was wait. someone was bound to call eventually. 

after 3 weeks you were about to re-post the ad, your phone rang. someone from san Antonio, as far as you were concerned you knew of no one who lived in that corner of the world. 

you took a chance and answered the call. 

YN: hello!

Jared: yes, im looking for YN

YN: thats me

Jared: perfect, my name is Jared Padalecki. i’m a single father to a 4 year old boy named Thomas. he’s my mess maker & i love him to bits. but balancing between work and parenting is alot harder than most people think. my wife had divorced me she felt like i didnt care enough about her or the foundation she built, so one night she walked out and i havent seen her since. so anyway i was looking through the ads for live in nanny when i came across yours. your ad drew me to it, im sorry if this sounds too forward but its been hard. 

YN: not at all. so what are the terms of this job?

Jared: well, as we speak im just finishing the details of your flight to San Antonio which first of all i need your current location like where you are coming from and how much baggage you are bringing. 

YN: thats very kind of you to book me a flight. im coming from San Francisco with 3 suitcases and 2 carry ons. most of it are small keepsakes and other sich clothing items i pick up along the way. but not a big deal i just dont have a permenant home to leave anything at. so if you dont mind me coming with all my little nik naks and figurines...

Jared chuckled in the background before he spoke.

Jared: girl, i think we can deal with that. ill buy some wall shelves and a special case for your statues and figures, with enough room that should you want more you can get more. There will be a vehicle you can use to transport my son to school and do errands and stuff like that, there will be a spare room included for you with your own bathroom. The shopping can be done by you after you drop my son off to school on a day of your choosing. If you like all that your duties do not include yard maintenence. You are free to take my son out for shopping trips as well, you get a shared card to my all expense account to do all your spending for the house and for yourself. It goes straight to my account it's all good. I want your time here to be awesome.

YN: this is my cell, please tell me you have some good news about my flight details. 

Jared: check your texts. 

You check your messages before you go back to the call.

YN: thats a good flight, so what kind of plans are for when i get there. 

Jared: well if you want we can go get the groceries when you arrive, after we leave the airport. then we can go for lunch and get you a few pretty things. sign some bank papers to put your name in my accounts. 

Yn: that sounds good, I've just sent notice to my landlord, I'm just packing up some of my figures now. I'm gonna have to get my license and stuff switched over to Texas state license but I'm excited for this.

Jared: i know as am i its been a while since we had any type of female presence in the house. we havent any such thing, but tomorrow that all changes. i know that you are gonna bring a light into our lives that hasnt been here in well ever. 

YN: glad i can help, now lets see whats the day tomorrow yields. 

Jared: i am so excited, so is my son. he keeps asking when you are gonna be here. but it is gonna be a happy day tomorrow. i know that this is gonna sound strange, but i hope your the one that can save me.

you heard his tone change instantly, you felt the power coming from it. you felt the wet in your panties. you were not okay in the slightest. but you felt amazing at the same time. 

YN: i guess ill let you go. ill shoot you a text when i get to the airport. cause i want to help you. i want to be the one to save you. 

neither of you knew what the hell just happened, neither of you would remember what was said, at the end of it neither of you would be able to state the words of the other. it will remain that way till a different day in the near off future. 

Jared: ill see you tomorrow... YN.

YN: jared.

the call ended, it was the moment when you felt like you could breathe again. the moment when you felt as though it would be your last. the moment when you felt like you were on cloud 9. 

you went to the cornerstore to get a few travel items. a few other things as well. a lot of times before you travel you do this kind of big shop, but this time was not like most times. Jared was providing everything for you, you had to bring you and what you currently owned, as well as your documents and stuff like that. 

after cleaning most of what you could in the apartment, you set your alarm and went to bed. you woke up to your 6:00am alarm. it was a long time but you were also a good half hour to the airport. you wanted plenty of time for check in and travel distance. 

finishing packing, leaving your keys to the apartment in the hands of your landlord who helped you bring your bags out the front door. she wished you a safe trip and to call if you were ever in the area again. 

you brought your bags to the cab and got in. you told the driver to take you to the airport. upon arrival at the airport, the cab driver helped you load your bags onto a cart and drove off.  you pushed the cart into the airport, went to the check in desk. 

check in lady: may i see your ticket and passport please?

You hand over your ticket and passsport. the lady scans your ticket and hands both your passport and ticket back to you. 

check in lady: alright your good to go, the gift shop is open if you want to stop there, its just on your left passed security.

Yn: do I give you my suitcases! Well at least the ones that aren't carry ons.

Check in lady ushers for a security guard to come round to take the 3 suitcases from you. To which you smile and thank them and head off to go through security.

Security guard: please put all your bags in a bin, your jacket and shoes as well as your jewelry in this bin and then you can stand on this square we will bring you through and go from there.

you did as asked. you complied you went to stand on the square, were waved through, the thing didnt beep but you were still patted down and then given your stuff back.  sent on your merry way, you were happily walking through the airport again. 

you went to the gift shop, you were buying a few puzzle books to keep you entertained on the flight. as well as a dress off the rack and some playing cards (one of each type), and some statues. these ones were small but made you smile.

you paid for everything and then went to the bathroom to change and organize your bags. you come out of the bathroom, your hair is up in a ponytail. you go take a seat holding your passport and ticket. 

after half hour of sitting there, your flight number was called. You pulled out your phone, texting Jared.

Yn (by text): morning, I am about to board my flight

Jared (by text): morning, I hope you have a safe flight, Thom and i cant wait to see you. Thom made you a sign we will be holding it, you have my word and honor that we will be good, we will all get along quite good. 

YN (by text): of course, as do i. i look forward to getting to San Antonio and beginning a new life. the pre flight is starting ill let you know when i land. 

Jared (by text): have a safe flight. see you in a few hours. i gotta bathe the kiddo. 

The pre flight took a bit longer than you thought it would, but Jared's message was one you ended up saving as a screenshot. You listened to your music when the flight attendant said we were free to use the screens ahead of us and whatever else. 

You even did some puzzle books and wrote in your journal. 

You were nervous, of course you were nervous. This was the first time you were gonna meet a single dad and a son. Thoughts of what they might look like floated through your mind. The thoughts of the life you were stepping into were beyond what your mind could conjour. 

But the way he spoke to you said something about saving you, made you wonder if something more was happening to him. 

Something maybe in his past that might be coming after him now. There was a darkness in his voice that you couldn't shake. 

But you shoke it off, you were not gonna let these thoughts consume you. You waited for the hours to pass, and they did rather quickly. 

For what was once 30 mins that had passed, became an hour and a half. You were almost there. 8 am quickly turned into 1030am there was still half hour to go. 

This was it the landing checks the whole pack up whatever you took out, close the trays un recline your seats, take out and shut off your music speech came quickly. You put away the books and things, you held your phone in one hand using the other to get up form your seat. You followed the people out of the plane. 

You walked out onto the concourse and made sure you were lookin good before you stepped onto the escalator. 

Jared was watching, but when his eyes landed on you coming toward him he smiled. He couldn't help himself. A little voice in his head told him not to smile, but to jump you instead. Jared ignored that voice for he didn't want to do anything harmful with Thom around. Even then he wouldn't. he instead watched you walk toward him. 

Jared: YN.

YN: you must be Jared. It is a pleasure to meet you. 

You both shake hands but a spark flows between both of your hands. Before you place your bags on the ground and look at Thom. 

YN: you must be the little cutie. Did you make this sign all by yourself?

Thom nods and gives you a hug which you graciously return. You were feeling happy. 

Jared: i think we should go wait by the luggage bay so we can grab your luggage. Then we can head off for lunch and shopping and paper filling. 

YN: the luggage should have started coming out by now anyway right?

Jared: possibly. But i want to hear more about you, your adventures and can i just say that dress is delectable. 

There it was again, that deep dark tone to his voice. He now held his hand out for your bags as Thom was urging for you to carry him. Jared carried your carry ons, you carried Thom who just smiled happily. 

Jared: ive never seen Thom take kindly to anyone before. This is gonna work out just fine. 

YN: thom is so sweet, i look forward to working with him on a daily basis. I also look forward to helping you with the house. 

You smiled as thom came up to you and sat in your lap. Jared just watched amazed by your skill with kids. 

As the luggage came round you pointed out your suitcases to Jared who grabbed them placing them on the cart. 

You held thom who just contently hugged you. He nestled himself against the crook of your neck, soft snores filled yours and Jared's ears shortly after. 

Jared: he barely slept last night he was too excited. I'm not surprised that he is sleeping now. 

Jared says as you all walk to the car, Jared with the luggage cart, you holding thom. You gently placed thom in the car, you watch Jared place the luggage in the trunk. 

Jared: and you are the miracle worker, he is asleep. He will sleep till we wake him for lunch. He will also hopefully sleep through the bank and licencing appointments. 

Before he could say another word you went over and gave him a kiss to his cheek. The air between you both was growing thin. 

This would have been your first kiss if not for the fact that jared’s watch went off. 

Jared: we have to be at the bank in half an hour. Which is perfect but first i want to try something. Just dont move.

You didnt move you stood there as Jared slid his hand around your waist. And placed a soft kiss to your neck. Then moved to whisper in your ear. 

Jared: a little bit of food for thought. The darkness is growing inside me and i swear i will hold it back as long as i can. But you need to understand you are the only one who can stop the darkness. 

You went round to your side of the vehicle. Feeling a little flustered. Jared was behind you, you turned to see him, his eyes starring at you. His hand on your own, you feel a spark, you feel that same spark that you both had felt back in the airport, when you first met. 

The ride to the bank was good, you and jared talked and went over a list for shopping and made a list of things to do when you arrived to Jared’s home. You were done the bank & licensing appointments.

 Deciding that it would be easier pick up take out for lunch as Thom was still sleeping. Like he was out like a light. You guys were able to quickly go in follow the list and get everything on the list. Finally on the road with lunch and heading home to Jareds. 

YN: so i guess i will need to set up some stuff and unpack. 

Jared: ill even help you set up and build the shelving and things. Believe me your suite is gonna be your style when we are through with it. We are almost there. Then we will get you settled. And its still early in the day. 

YN: lets hope that we can get a majority of this done before thom wakes up. 

Jared: or at least un pack the car or have the lawn care people help with that as well. Ill just pay them extra for it.  

Within a few moments after that you guys pull dup to a gate, where Jared used a key card to open it. 

Jared: welcome to your new home YN! 

From that point in the day you and Jared and thom spent it getting acquainted, you did some schooling with thom, jaredd helped you set up your suite, Jared and you celebrated with a glass of wine each before bed from then on.  More little moments were stollen like the one that happened in the airport. 

Something worse would be a drift in the near future. you didnt know what but you had a feeling that something would come to light that you would never expect in a million years. 

~its now been 8 months and 12 days since you came to live with Jared and Thom. you settled in quite nicely. you drove back and forth to get thom to and from school, you cooked, cleaned and you happily did all the laundry. now we start our story again on the last day of school, with you just having picked up Thom from school and are in the car driving back home~

you had just gotten on the freeway Thom had passed out a while back for his afternoon nap. you were just happy for a small moment of peace and quiet. but your bluetooth came through the car at a volume that thankfully didnt wake Thom. 

you saw it was Jared so obviously you answered. 

Jared: hey hows it going?

Yn: good, thom is having a nap, im just on the freeway. how was work?

Jared: good, i couldnt wait for the day to be over. i have a surprise for you. 

YN: for me or for me and thom or for all 3 of us

Jared: call it a family surprise. 

YN: wait im part of the family. none of my jobs previously had ever considered me part of the family. its nice to finally be included in an actual family. 

you could hear jared chuckle before he continued to speak. 

Jared: i know you are new to the whole permenant family thing, and we are always gonna have a home here for you. but i want to celebrate the start of summer with a tradition. 

YN: something new or something old?

Jared: a new tradition one that starts as soon as you guys get home... 

YN: and will i need to pack a bag?

Jared: yes although i had my assistant at work go out and buy you a few new things for this trip today, so how long till you guys get home... 

suddenly thom pipes up from the background. 

thom: hi daddy.

Jared: hey little man, ive got a surprise for you when you and YN get home. 

YN: we will see you in 10 minutes jared. 

Jared: see you in the driveway 

the call ended and you handed thom a sucker from your center console. he smiled and giggled all the rest of the way home. you pulled into the driveway parking in your normal spot. 

Jared comes round to bring thom out first, after spinning him around before setting him down on the ground, he comes round to your side. he opens the door and extends his hand to you. 

he helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door. where you all enter before Jared send thom up to his room to get ready. guess he had told thom the secret before he told you, but you were now standing in the living room with Jared who turns to you.

YN: what is the big surprise, i assume you told Thom and thats why he ran upstairs all excited. 

Jared: i bought us a vacation house about 2 months ago. it is all season, and we get to go there and spend these next 6 weeks there. its in canyon lake about 2 hours by car. thom will probably sleep at least part of the way there. but YN i want you to know that i have a secret one that has me flustered enough to internally keep it from you for he is the glue that holds us together. but i wonder if perhaps we as in us 2 have a few things we can be together. 

before you could respond Jared leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips, for those 2 seconds it was like heaven had shot you with an arrow.

Jared pulled back and began to walk toward the kitchen to pack some trip snacks and drinks. but before leaving you alone in the living room he spoke.

Jared: ill leave you with that food for thought for it will be something to definately make conversation about later.

That kiss, your only real first kiss. Made you extremely excited. But the drive the 2 hour drive had you all hot and bothered. you went to pack your stuff in your bag. well at least thats what you thought, when you got to your room, you saw a suitcase, one filled with yours and Jareds stuff. maybe you guys were traveling light or there was already stuff out there for you guys.

you packed your journals, some games and a few books and of course a deck of cards in your backpack. you wheeled the suitcase out of the suite while carrying the backpack. then you went back in to put your hair back.

you heard someone calling your name. you answered the call and heard footsteps coming to your room. you turned to see Jared standing there, like nothing had happened downstairs.

Jared: are we almost ready to go?

YN: almost. just gonna get into something a bit more vacay less public appearance. meet you down in 2... 

Jared: wear something sexy. i guarantee that you will be the hottest thing in the car. and you can pick the music. 

you grabbed something out of the closet and took it into the bathroom. you came out to see Jared standing not  facing you. till you would speak woulkd be when he would know you were there.

YN: does that mean we are bluetoothing it all the way there.

Jared: got the wireless charging pad installed and all ready to go. plus i hooked your phone to the bluetooth already. now when you are ready we will head out.

YN: i know. jared are we gonna discuss what happened between us downstairs?

Jared: that kind of talk is better suited for vacation. 

thom is waiting by the door, you and jared bring down the last of the stuff. thom just as excited about this vacation as any little child should be. everything was loaded in the car, you went to lock the house and set the alarm. but before setting the alarm, you said the one word that you were sure might confirm your suspicions. 

YN: christo!

the cross on the wall near by turned upside down. you finished setting the alarm after salting the doors and windows. only hoping that this would be easy, but now you were certain that you had figured out the darkness that Jared kept mentioning. 

you went to the car, sitting down you nodded at Jared to start driving. and it was declared right then and there that you all were officially on vacation. Thom sat quietly and eventually passed out. your music playing in the background, Jared realizing that Thom had fallen asleep moved his hand to rest on your thigh.

this made you look at him, the darkness in his eyes faded when you placed your hand on his. the darkness that starred at you, the way his hand tightened on your thigh. you were the luckiest girl in the world. you hoped that this vacay would yield the answers you hoped you didnt need. 

over the last little while you had done research on what you thought might be the darkness latched to Jared. after what happened in the house before you left with the cross. you were certain. Jared was possessed. and you had to stop this thing from doing something he would regret. 

your mind circled with those thoughts, but a voice brought you out of your own mind.

Jared: you have been quiet, is everythign alright?

YN: yes everything is fine. just going over the list and making sure we dont need to have the lawn people do any extra tasks while we are gone.

jared: why do you think we forgot something?

YN: its just a feeling. but its nothing to worry about. now when we get there i assume that we are gonne have a tour and a chance to unpack before we decide our first vacation activity.

Jared: i also hope you dont mind sharing a room with me. its a little 5 bedroom cottage but the 3rd, 4th and 5th rooms are supposed to be guest rooms. they only has a cot and no closet. we are just waiting on a few parts to be reno’d in there. 

YN: i think i can live with this arrangement. thom i assume is gonna be in a room close by.

Jared: yep he is at one end of the hall we are at the other. you know when i called you all those months ago, asking you to fly out here to help me, i was ready to give up on finding someone to help me take care of the house and Thom. but your ad made me have hope that maybe you would be the one that would save me.

YN: i think i know what darkness follows you but i wont know forsure until i can run a test. 

Jared: what kind of test

YN: one that would need to be done when Thom is asleep. one that i hope will either prove me right or prove me a liar. that is if your willing to try.

Jared: im willing to try anything.

YN: well then we will try it tonight after Thom goes to bed. 

neither of you had realized how much time had passed, then you saw a sign. Jared smiled.

Jared: we are close now.

YN: that sign that i just saw is that where we are going?

Jared: yep. once you se the place you will understand why i got it. and i sound proofed the master, just in case...

he winked at you as he slowed down at the edge of a driveway. he then guided your gaze to look ahead at the cottage that now stod before you.

Thom woke up shortly after you had pulled him out of the car. he rubbed his eyes and smiled as he ran toward the house, screaming happily as he approached the steps. where he waited for you and Jared. 

you both brought what you could while still having hands to open the door and help Thom up the stairs. jared unlocked the door allowing you and thom to walk through first. your eyes went wide at the first glance of your home away from home with Jared and Thom. 

this was gonna be an amazing vacation. you put down what you carried, as well as let go of Thom who was running around looking at everything. you spun round and somehow landed in the arms of Jared.

Jared: what do you think?

YN: what do i think.. this is amazing. i love this. this is incredible. i wouldnt trade this vacation for anything. honestly i would rather be no where else. im quite happy here. 

Jared: as in this home or my arms.

YN: both. jared, i i... 

just as your about to speak again. you and jared are interrupted by thom coming out of a nearby room half dressed. 

Thom: daddy, YN can we go swimming now...

jared set you back on your feet and you both laughed. 

Jared: in a few moments bud we gotta find the swim suits first. 

as Jared said that the attendants brought up the luggage. you looked at Jared who just smiled and whispered in your ear.

Jared: you have the summer off to relax for 6 weeks. just be normal with me and Thom. these next hours could prove several things for us. starting with lets take Thom swimming and then go from there. we will hopefully eat when we return. the attendants are already preparing supper. 

you could do nothing except smile. it was already turning into a really steamy vacay. you went to where you saw jared going through your shared suitcase. first chance you got you grabbed your bikini and cover.

you went into the nearby spare room closing the door behind you. you get changed, you could hear Jared ask one of the attendants to take Thom to find him a life jacket from the boat house. then you heard silence. 

then you heard the sound of the door knob turning, you were only half done tying your bikini. when Jared walked in shirtless and wearing his swim trunks. 

Jared: need help?

you froze in place at his words it was like your actions were not your own. it was a few seconds after that you felt his hands around your waist sliding slowly up your back.

Jared: i wish we had this place to ourselves. we would not be leaving that master suite for a while. 

YN: i wish Thom was asleep so i could take away your darkness. 

Jared: so you know what it is...

YN: yes and i need you alone when i take away the darkness, Thom would be in too much danger. dont worry you will be darkness free soon. you will be back in the light and free to live your live happy with me and Thom. im not gonna let this darkness ruin your life any longer. tonight it gets banished.

Jared: just gotta tire Thom out enough that he will sleep tonight. 

YN: well then lets not keep him waiting any longer. 

you and jared walk outside and down the path to the lake. you were amazed at the wonder and beauty before you. bout halfway to the lake, you were pressed against the back side of a nearby tree. Jared’s eyes darkened at the sight of you, the feeling of your body beneath his hands had him hard, you could feel it against your lower back. 

Jared: once Thom is gone to bed, I'm gonna make Jared watch through his own eyes as I fuck you into next week. Jared will never inhabit his body again.

You struggled slightly before speaking.

YN: i address the entity within, who are you?

Jared’s form just smiled evily at you, his hands still freely roaming your body. 

YN: well you should also know that you wont live long enough to fuck me into next week. im gonna expell you from Jared’s body and send you back where you came from. now i command thee for all that light brings give me Jared back immediately.

once you finished speaking Jared’s body fell to his knees, you kneel down to only be hugged by Jared.

Jared: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry

YN: don't worry, just calm down. That demon is gonna be gone when I do the ritual. Take a few moments to breathe, I'm gonna go sit on the dock where the attendant is in the shallows with thom. Just take your time.

You placed a kiss to his cheek, then walked the rest of the way to the lake. Upon arrival at the lake, you watched the attendant and Thom, playing in the shallow water.

Attendant: miss YN. Where is Master Jared?

YN: he will be along shortly he just wanted to check his messages make sure everything is running smoothly.

Attendant: then I shall stay down here with you both till he arrives. How do you like the place Miss?

Yn: it's gorgeous. I love it. I have never been invited to go on any type of vacation. Not even in my own family. So this was a really awesome surprise.

Attendant: that is so sad... Well to many more times like this then. Thom here is a amazing little kiddo, you have been working so hard master Jared just wanted to give you a vacation you wouldn't soon forget.

Thom meanwhile was just enjoying the water, his expression had a huge smile on it. He was wet head to toe and absolutely having fun!

You kept waiting on the dock for Jared to approach and for 10 min he didn't till you, looked and saw his form approach.

you sat on the dock and felt him slide down behind you, his legs are on either side of yours, his arms round your waist. you both sat there enjoying the view while Thom played with the attendant in the water below. neither you nor Jared felt like moving knowing that in a few hours you both would be expelling the demonic force that lay now dormant inside Jared. 

Jared: do you know what is better than sitting here on the dock.

YN: what

Jared: sitting on the dock with you surrounded by nature, this will be the best vacation ever once we get rid of the demon.

~time skip to a few hours later. after some swimming you all went back to the house for dinner. after dinner you guys played a game or 2 with Thom who then went with one of the attendants and had a bath, then it was time to put him to sleep. you and Jared read him a story, then he fell fast asleep. for he truely was tuckered out, you and Jared dismissed the attendants and locked the doors for the evening. you both went to the master suite as we return to the story.~

YN: i need to set something up first can you wait like 5 minutes before you enter the bathroom. oh and dont plan on showering in your trunks, and bring towels with you. i have a feeling like we will need them when we are done. 

Jared: ill see you in there.

you walk towards the bathroom, holding the prayer beeds in one hand and un doing your bikini in the other. you placed the bikini on the ground and set your phone on the counter. 

YN:  Exorcizo te, creatura aquae. In nomine dei patris omnipotentis et in virtute spiritus sancti.

you finished the incantation and placed the rosery on the shower head so it lands in the water. then you took one look out the window and just let the water run over your body. 

Jared walks in with nothing on he places the towels on the counter, you see him out of the corner of your eye.

Yn: join me?

Jared didn't need an invitation he was already climbing in behind you. For he knew that this was the only way to expell the demon.

You turned around and now faced him, you looked up at him holding his gaze you move him round so he is under the water.

His body starts shaking that's when you spoke again.

Yn: please let this work...

You had him lift you up so he was holding you as you slid down onto his cock, and spoke the incantation that hopefully would save his life. In other words bring his light fuller to push away the darkness.

Also there was a Devils trap in the floor where jard was standing you had the attendantz draw one, for the demon to be sent straight back to hell. With a clear voice the following words were spoken by you.

Yn: exorcisomus te, omnis immunus spirits, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursion infernalis adversarri, omnis legio, omnis congregato, insectas diabolicas, ergo dracto malidicte, eclesium secura fascious liberate, te regamous, audinos

At that point black smoke came out of Jared's mouth, and went straight through the floor. When Jared looked at you again his eyes were clear and he leaned you against the wall.

He began thrusting his hard cock in and out of your pussy. It was something that both of you had dreamed about for months.

His hard cock pounding your sensitive tender pussy. With each thrust you climaxed. But it was the kisses that left you both breathless.

The more he thrust the more he came. After 45 minutes and 16 climaxes for the both of you.

Jared set you down, helped you rinse off, both of you getting out after Jared turned off the water, Jared wrapped a towel round you, then he dried himself off.

Jared: thank you. Thank you for saving my life. But where did you learn to do that.

YN: too much research on the paranormal. I knew something was off and when that demon named himself I knew what I had to do. 

Jared: would you consider making your time here a role more permenant than just a nanny?

YN: what kind of role would that be?

you are immediately pickd up and placed on the bed with Jared crawling on top of you. he made love to you for a few moments before just curling up with you in his arms and muttered only 2 words before he crashed.

Jared: marry me

you used voice command to turn out the lights before passing out yourself. when you both woke the next morning with just a sheet covering your still cuddling forms. you blinked a bit before moving a piece of Jared’s hair out of his eyes. 

it was a few moments later that Jared stirred. 

YN: morning handsome.

Jared: that was the best ive slept in years. 

YN: do you remember saying anything after we hit the pillow last night.

Jared twists away from you for a moment and pulls something out of one of the drawers in his nightstand, before coming back to your embrace.

Jared: all this time i felt empty and now i want nothing more than to have you stay permenantly. YN will you partner with me in raising Thom full time, not as a nanny but as a step mom to him. YN i believ i already asked you this but will you marry me?

he reveals a small rose gold band with a 15k diamond in the center surrounded by your birthstone and Jareds birth stone. this made you nod alot, trying to find your voice as the cool metal band slid on your finger. 

YN: yes! yes yes yes!!!! but umm does this mean we dont have to leave this bed right away. 

Jared: i think that can be arranged besides its still early. its only 6am... we are still on work time. 

going back to cuddle mode you admired your new ring as Jared now once more wraped your form in his own, your leg draped over his hip and you guys were basically a free range pretzel. so to speak. it became the start of the life you always wanted something permenant and stable. not loose and ragged. 

goes to show love strikes when you least expect it.

[vinylackles]

the story

word count: 4,367

requested by: anonymous

summary: this is a bit of backstory about sam and the reader, from their proposal (towards the end of season 11) all the way to their honeymoon! 

a few of my other fics [ring and the cabin] are kind of involved in this fic (the timeline for ring, and the actual cabin if you’d like to read them as well, though you don’t have to :)

all my works || request imagines here

the push:

Dean had been on his ass for weeks, and Sam had gone out to the store to buy a new duffle bag simply so he would never have to share one with his brother again. He wasn’t supposed to find the box, but he hadn’t stopped prying, and today was no exception.

“If you’ve already got the ring why don’t you just ask her already you chicken,” Dean had said as soon as he walked into the kitchen.

“You’re right Dean, I’m so sorry for not taking your advice, considering how many successful proposals you’ve done. Oh wait, that’s right...”

“Alright, low blow,” Dean grumbled, sipping at his coffee. They fell back into the tense silence that had been over the bunker for the last few weeks. They knew, with Amara lurking out there that they were going to have to act, and soon. 

The aching fear in Sam’s belly about what would happen when the time did come to face the darkness wasn’t helping his tolerance either. 

“Sorry. I’ve just got more important things to worry about right now,” Sam mumbled, turning back to the book he had been scanning before Dean interrupted. 

“No you don’t,” Dean countered. Sam only lifted his eyes to roll them. “Seriously Sam, you shouldn’t be puttin’ all this crap above your personal life.”

The younger Winchester had to stifle a laugh.

“Uh, where have you been for the last 25 years of our lives? That’s what we do Dean, that’s what all hunters do. You stow your crap and you do the job. And right now, the job is Amara.” 

“I can handle Amara. It might not be pretty but I can handle her.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m worried about,” Sam murmured, frustration growing. Dean was silent for a while, and it put an odd tension back into the room. 

“Sam.”

“What.”

“Sammy look at me.” There was an aching vulnerability in his brothers voice that Sam couldn’t deny even if he wanted to. He looked up, marking his spot in his book. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve been on your ass lately, about proposin’ and all that. It’s just, I think I see the end of this road, with the darkness and everything. I think I know - I think we both know how this is gonna end, and I know how screwed up I got all those times that you were... gone. I just want you to be happy. Once I’m gone.”

“Dean, stop it.”

“Just hear me out, okay? I know I’ve always been the one that said we keep hunting, that we could never stop. I gave you crap for leavin’ me in purgatory and going after your normal apple-pie life. But I want you to know, that if this ends with me on a pyre, and you wanna walk away.... that’s okay with me. You’ve more than earned it, and besides, you’ve got somethin’ more important to care about now.” 

Sam’s throat was too tight for him to answer, and thankfully, Dean didn’t wait on one.

“That girl of yours, she’s somethin’ else Sam. I knew it from the minute you found her, and I couldn’t think of anyone better for you. I mean that. She’s basically a little sister to me, and you two deserve each other. You deserve to be happy Sam. I know that’s not easy, with what we do, so if you need to throw in the towel, you can.”

“Can you save the death bed speech Dean? Please? You aren’t dying over this, I’m not gonna let you,” Sam’s voice cracked on his brothers name, giving him away.

“We’re all gonna die eventually little brother. And you’ve gotta make the best of it while you’re here. From where I’m standin’, it looks like the best of it for you is in the shower right now, blaring that song she’s been playing all week.” He chuckled a bit, the sound of Y/N’s music a dull murmur in the background. “So could you do your big brother a solid and lock that down, for good, before I end up walkin’ into something I’m not sure I’m gonna walk out of? It’d give me some peace of mind.”

Sam just nodded, unable to say anything around the lump in his throat. But when Dean clapped him on the shoulder he reached up and caught his hand, squeezing tightly.

the proposal:

It was only three days after his talk with Dean, and he hadn’t planned on doing it then. He’d run through a thousand plans in his head, and eliminated them all one by one. Rent out a stadium - too over the top. Just ask her one morning - she deserved more than that. Get her a puppy and put the ring on the collar - tempting, but they couldn’t take care of a dog. 

And so he’d decided that it would be whenever it felt natural, and preferably before anything major happened with Dean and the darkness. He could give his brother what he asked for - it was the least he could do. It wasn’t like he wasn’t planning on doing it soon anyways. 

It started when Y/N had climbed into bed, still fully clothed, and cuddled up to his side, resting her chin on his chest. She looked up at him through her lashes while he read his book, a tell-tale sign that she wanted something.

“Hi baby. Whatcha need?” He asked.

“I want ice cream.” She grinned, hopeful. He couldn’t resist that smile, and she knew it too.

“I think we have some vanilla in the freezer. But you want Mosley’s, don’t you?” He knew her order at the local ice cream shop by heart. 

All she did was smile sheepishly as an answer, scooting up the bed to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Let me get my shoes on.” He kissed her again before getting up and heading to the closet. Y/N snagged one of Sam’s flannels and threw it on with the shirt and leggings she was already wearing.

“I’ll get the keys from Dean, meet you in the garage!” She gave him one more peck on the cheek before bounding out of the room, obviously excited for the inevitable ice cream.

When she was gone, it struck him. Maybe tonight could be the night. So he pocketed the ring quietly in his jacket, trying not to focus on the weight of it against his chest. 

He almost forgot about it, no room for much else in his mind when he saw her perched on the hood of the impala waiting for him. She was just mindlessly scrolling through her phone, perfectly relaxed with no idea what was coming. He didn’t want it any other way.

“Ready beautiful?”

“Mosleys here we come!” Y/N exclaimed, hopping down off the car and moving to the passenger side. Sam had barely gotten in before she slid over to lean against him, nuzzling up to his side like she always did when it was just them. 

“You’re so comfy. How can you be so muscley and so comfy at the same time,” she mumbled, her cheek squished against his shoulder. He just laughed, wrapping his right arm around her and kissing her forehead. 

When they got to Mosleys, she stayed in the car. Sam was good enough friends with the owner to ask for a special favor, and he walked out with both their favorites in a small styrofoam cooler filled with dry ice. 

He could see Y/N’s eyes squint in suspicion through the windshield as he got to the car.

“What’re you up to Winchester?” She asked as soon as his door was open.

“It’s a surprise. You know, those things you hate?” 

She squinted her eyes even more, scrunching her nose in the most adorable way. He leaned over the cooler and kissed her softly, bringing her out of her mood, but only slightly.

“I’m just taking my girl on a date, is that allowed?” He teased as Baby rumbled to life. 

“I suppose.” She muttered, moving the cooler to the other side of her legs so she could cuddle back up to him. They drove for about 30 minutes, to a little outlook that sat high above a lake. They’d been there before, but never at night, and as Sam expected, when they got out the sky was spattered with some of the brightest stars he’d ever seen. 

“Woah,” she whispered as she got out of the car, eyes wide, cooler in her arms. Sam popped the trunk, silently thanking his brother for the fact that there was still a blanket in the back. He spread it out over a patch of grass, motioning for Y/N to come join him. She sat down while he unpacked the ice cream - the man had given him pints of each of their favorite flavors on the house once he’d told him the plan. 

She toyed with the fog that was coming out of the container from the ice, fascinated by it as it disappeared in the warm Kansas air.

“It’s even more beautiful out here at night,” she said when she finally looked back up at the sky. Sam passed her the pint with a spoon stuck in the top. She took it happily, scooping some out and pressing it against her tongue. He wasn’t sure how she looked so cute all the time - surely it was exhausting. 

Somehow, while staring at her at that moment, all his nerves disappeared. He was so sure of her, of them, that it seemed silly that he was nervous in the first place. So the next words out of his mouth came naturally, easy as water.

“Do you wanna get married?”

“Duh, you know that,” she said, staring up at the sky.

That didn’t go as planned. 

“I mean, do you want to marry me?” 

“You bought me ice cream and took me to see the stars, who else would I marry?” She mused, still not looking at him. Even when he reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, she remained oblivious, staring at the sky. He took the opportunity to move back a little bit and prop himself up on a knee. 

“Y/N. Will you marry me?” 

“I mean are you gonna give me a ri- HOLY CRAP!” She turned around finally, almost swallowing her spoon at the sight of him there on one knee. 

“Don’t choke,” he chuckled, resisting the urge to reach over and swipe the spoon out of her mouth. She did the honors, letting it drop onto the blanket.

“Sam.” She was breathless it seemed, her eyes flickering between his face and the ring.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, I just wanted it to be the right time. You’re all I want, forever. And I thought we could make it, you know, official? If you’re up for it?” 

That was so not what he was planning on saying. But she didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes holy crap yes!” She practically squealed, tackling him in a kiss. He rolled slightly so his legs didn’t get trapped behind him as he kissed her back, both their smiles bursting through every time their lips parted. 

“You didn’t even let me put your ring on,” he teased, brushing some hair back from her face. Y/N sat up, tugging him up with her so she was sitting on his lap. He picked the box up, pulling the ring carefully out of the velvet and sliding it onto her finger. It fit perfectly, making him smile.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, and he could hear her tears in her voice. 

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” 

the engagement:

Planning a wedding and hunting weren’t exactly conducive activities.

“Baby, you can stay here if you need to, I know you wanted to meet with that florist,” Sam sighed a bit, watching you pack your bag.

“Flowers aren’t going to do me much good if my fiance is dead in a vamp nest somewhere,” you muttered, tossing an extra change of clothes in and zipping it up. 

“Hey. C’mere.” Sam’s voice was gentle and you felt the tension leave your shoulders as you moved over towards him. 

“I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just stressed out. I want it to be a perfect day,” you mumbled, burying your face in his chest as he held you.

“I know. It’s gonna be perfect no matter what, cause we’re gonna be married at the end of the day, regardless. But I know you want it to be a certain way. I just wish it didn’t stress you out so much.” 

“Have you met me? Everything stresses me out.” You chuckled, pressing your forehead into his chest. He laughed with you, hand coming up to run through your hair. 

“Well, we’ve got a few months left before the wedding. What’s left?”

“Flowers. And I’ve got the last fitting for my dress, Jody is coming with me for that. All the guys have their suits, the girls are getting their dresses back from the tailors. We have the cake, we’ve got the rings. Dean’s building the alter stuff.”

“So.... just the flowers then?”

“And the honeymoon...”

You tried again, though you knew it was futile. Maybe, just maybe he’d slip up and give it away. 

“The honeymoon is taken care of, I promise. How about when we get back from this hunt we go to the florist together, yeah?”

“You don’t want to go to the florist, you couldn’t care less about the flowers,” you accused, but it was lighthearted.

“Yeah, but you care, which means I care. Now c’mon, we’ve got some vampires to kill.”

the wedding:

For once, the Kansas weather had decided to cooperate. It was a beautiful day, sun shining over the bunker, a nice breeze keeping it from being too hot. Everything was perfect, and yet you still couldn’t breathe. 

“Y/N? Hey, are you gonna be okay if I leave you here to walk mom down? I can get Cas to do it if you need me to.” Dean's worry was obvious as he slipped a hand under your elbow, as if you were going to fall. You weren’t sure that you wouldn’t.

“No, no I’m okay. Just, uh, hurry back, okay?” Your voice was strained. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous - everything had gone to plan, everybody you and Sam loved were there. 

“You got it. Hang in there.” Dean squeezed you a bit before letting go and moving up the line to let Mary take his arm. You knew Sam was close by, so you stayed hidden in the bunker stairwell. Neither of you had wanted to see the other beforehand, but not having him there with you was probably why you were so nervous - you two had never been the greatest at separation. Music had begun to play, and you knew the processional was moving along.

The alter had been set up behind the bunker, in a little clearing of the woods. There was a path lined with flowers, up to a beautiful alter that Dean had built from some reclaimed wood he’d found. It was beautiful to anyone, not just your biased eyes. You kept yourself hidden, but peaked out just enough so you could see everyone walking down. 

Cas lead, with Claire on his arm. He kissed her cheek before they moved to their appropriate sides of the alter. Next was Jack, who did double time and walked both Patience and Alex down, since Dean was on his way back to you. 

The sight of familiar faces made it a bit easier to breathe. Garth was there, and Donna. Mary was beaming at her son, but you refused to follow her gaze. If you looked at Sam now, you knew you’d start crying. Jody was standing at the alter - she’d gotten ordained just for you two. 

Dean made it back to you quickly, holding up his arm for you to take.

“You ready for this?” 

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s just Sam,” you murmured, more to yourself than to Dean.

“You’re just excited I bet. Sam was shakin’ in his boots all morning waiting for you. I’ve got yah, okay? I’ll get you down the aisle and Sam will take it from there.” 

Something in the familiar cadence of his voice, and knowing that you’d be right there with Sam in just a minute made your nerves cease enough for you to take that first step, out into the light.

You clutched onto Dean’s arm and matched his pace, watching the petal-covered grass underneath your feet. And when you heard the sound of everyone rising from their chairs, you lifted your eyes from the ground.

And there he was.

You’d known what suit he was going to wear. What color his tie was, which flowers would be on his boutonnière. You’d seen his smile a thousand times. But he was beaming, and you could see the tears welling up at the sight of you in your dress.

And it didn’t matter that everyone was looking at you, or that you were crying too. He was there and he was about to be your husband, and you couldn’t have been happier in that moment.

“Easy tiger, it’s not a race,” Dean murmured, trying to slow down your pace. You hadn’t realized you’d sped up so much, automatically drawn towards Sam. Why had you made the aisle so long?

Finally, finally, you got there. Dean kissed your cheek and guiding you up the few stairs that he’d built. You passed your bouquet to Claire, who fixed the train on your dress and then you turned, gazing up at Sam. 

He was still crying, but trying to keep it together a bit more as he took your hands in his. You couldn’t do anything but stare at him, and take it all in as Jody spoke, about love and the importance of it.

You both pulled it together enough to repeat your vows to each other, though the tears were still streaming. Dean handed Sam the rings, and yours settled perfectly on your finger, as if it was meant to be there all along. Perhaps it was. 

You weren’t sure you’d ever heard sweeter words than “you may now kiss your bride”, and you couldn’t help but smile when you felt the cool metal of Sam’s ring on your cheek when he cupped your face, bending down to kiss you. 

It was soft and warm and different somehow. You were kissing your husband, and you weren’t sure you were even going to get over that.

Everyone cheered as you headed down the aisle, back to the door of the bunker that you’d come out of.

You disappeared inside for a moment, pulling Sam with you. As soon as the door closed behind you you were kissing him again with as much fierceness as you could muster, somehow trying to put action to the happiness that was burning inside of you. He obliged, taking your hips in his hands, hands splayed out against the white fabric that covered you. 

It took you a minute to work it out of your system, and you knew that everyone would probably starting to trickle in from the ceremony in just a moment. When you pulled away, you weren’t sure you’d ever felt happier. 

“You didn’t even let me carry you over the threshold,” Sam chuckled, resting his forehead against yours.

“Sorry,” you whispered, laughing with him. 

“The stairs will do,” he grinned, getting that boyish glint in his eyes that made your heart warm since the first time you saw it. He scooped you up, starting the descent off the balcony.

“Please don’t fall and break a leg, I know you can’t see those stairs over this dress,” you cautioned.

“Ever the romantic,” Sam teased, kissing your cheek. You reached the bottom at the perfect time, getting one more kiss in before the doors open and everyone began to funnel in from outside. You both waited at the bottom, accepting everyone’s hugs and well wishes. 

When Dean got to you, he took you by surprise, picking you up and spinning you around. 

“Welcome to the family Winchester,” he had said, and it was the first time in a long time you’d seen Dean truly happy. 

The night moved on like most weddings, you assumed. Everyone ate pizza that you’d ordered from the local joint, and there was wine and beer and cake and dancing. You’d pushed all the tables to the walls in the library, leaving the whole space open; a makeshift dance floor.

Your first dance song played from the record player in the corner, and you smiled as Sam held you close, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. After that, it seemed everyone wanted a chance to dance with the bride, so you were passed around through the slow songs. Much to your surprise, Jack seemed to be the best dancer of all of them. He later revealed he’d watched some youtube videos on how to slow dance, obviously proud of himself. 

You found yourself back in Sam’s arms again as the night began to wind down. 

“You ready for our honeymoon?” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your hair. 

“How can I be ready if I don’t know where we’re going? You wouldn’t even let me pack my own bag,” you countered, scrunching up your nose at him. 

“You’ll know soon enough. C’mon, let’s go.”  

the honeymoon:

“I knew it!” She exclaimed, making Sam smile as he brought the car to a stop outside the cabin. He didn’t tell her that they were only spending the night there, that in the morning they’d be driving to the airport and heading off to the beach. 

He got out first, moving around the car to open Y/N’s door for her and help her out. She had been so eager to leave and see where they were going that she’d insisted her dress was comfortable enough to ride in. She somehow looked even more beautiful out there amongst the trees, dressed in white, relaxed and completely herself. 

“C’mere,” he said quietly, taking her waist in his hands and pulling her to him. She melted under his touch it seemed, pliant under his lips as he kissed her. She was sweet to taste, and he could feel her smile. With a sigh he pulled away, but only to grab the smaller overnight bag he’d packed for them. 

“We don’t need the big bags yet. Besides, I don’t see many clothes in our immediate future.”

“Oh?” She blushed bright pink.

“As sad as I am to see it go, I am so ready to get you out of that dress. Also, you aren’t cheating me out of my threshold this time,” he grinned, tossing the bag over his shoulder before scooping Y/N up.

“I love you,” she said, breathless as he carried her through the doorway.

“I love you too, wife.” The word felt so natural on his tongue, and the he wished he could keep the smile it brought to her face there forever. “C’mon beautiful, let’s get you to bed.” 

Their shoes were first, and the dress was next. It had delicate buttons along the back, and he fumbled with them, his long fingers getting in his own way as they both laughed through his struggle. When he finally got them undone it fell heavy to the ground, revealing delicate, white lingerie that about sent him to his knees. It took all his self control to move away and hang the dress up on a spare hanger, hooking it over the door of the bedroom. 

He slipped out of his dress shirt, having already lost the jacket and tie back at the bunker before they’d left. He was about to sit back down before he caught the look his wife was giving him. 

“What?”

“I’m only in my underwear... you too. Equal partners, remember?” She teased, quirking an eyebrow. 

He just laughed, undoing his belt and tossing it aside before letting his pants fall to the floor. She gasped, making him panic a bit, looking down at his plain black boxer briefs. 

“What!?” He asked yet again.

“No white lace?! What kinda wedding night is this!?” She faked her exasperation, but she could only keep up the act for a moment before she burst out laughing.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he teased, moving to the bed in a fluid motion, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and lifting her just enough to guide her onto her back.

Everything paused when she winced, sucking in a breath.

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

“One of my hair pins just poked me. I swear, there must be five hundred of them in there,” she muttered, nose scrunched as she looked up towards her hair.

“C’mere, I’ll take em out.” 

Sam guided her back up to sitting, letting her settle in his lap facing away from him as he began to run his fingers through her hair, picking out the pins that were stuck within it. He smiled as the curls began to fall, and she relaxed more and more every time he found a new one to take out. 

His hand was full by the time he was done, and he put them all on the bedside table, running his other hand over Y/N’s sore scalp. She was practically purring under his touch, leaning her weight back onto his chest. He peppered kisses along her skin, up her neck, along her jaw, finally catching her lips when she turned to look at him. 

She twisted on his lap, settling with her legs wrapped around his waist, moulding to him like she always did. 

The night was spent intertwined in every sense of the word, slow and warm and soft, with whispered I loves you and promises. They fell asleep pressed against each other, safe in knowing that it was really the two of them, forever.

leave me feedback and i’ll cry okay

[shhh-no-ones-home]

blood bound part (3/4) mcr x reader

+++++++++

Guess what, this one is just as long as the other two! 

Song: disenchanted

+++++++++

as we made our way to their tour bus i took it upon myself to take in everything i could. everything had changed in the past twenty years and i wanted to reminisce a little bit. as i was gazing across the street gerard leaned over and nudged my arm. i looked over at him and he walked a little closer to me.

"so, when was the last time you left the cemetery?"

"twenty years. more or less."

"wow, i guess everything's a little different now huh?"

"yeah just a little bit but as we've been walking i've been making a game out of it."

"what do you mean?"

"looking around i can obviously see that things aren't the same way they used to be so i've decided to see if i can remember what the things used to be. for example that burger king over there used to be a series of little shops, way before your time. i made the contract with the groundskeeper while it was still being built. before they built it it was just an empty lot waiting to be something new."

"really? what about that strip mall over there?"

he pointed ahead of us at the four shop strip mall full of two restaurants and two outlet shops.

"well if i remember correctly it originally was a flea market used back in the day for clothing and ammunition for guns. when the owner died they sold the lot and turned that into a drive in for a good fifteen years. it didn't do as well as the owner had hoped so they closed that too. you said you were from around here didn't you?"

he nodded at the impromptu question.

"then you'll probably remember the little gas station candy shop that used to be there."

he looked at me as if he was racking his brain to see if he could remember, that is if he even knew what i was talking about.

"yeah i think i remember that. it's been a while but mine and mikeys grandparents used to take us there as kids. yeah! we would drive around town just sort of people watching and stopping every once in awhile at little shops. i remember, they used to buy us each a new comic book after lunch in case we got bored while we were driving around. once the car was getting low on gas we would stop there. while grandpa was filling the car grandma would take us in to get some candy."

he smiled and looked at the ground, and i laughed lightly at his story. memories were the best thing, even pictures only last a short while, and i could tell that this memory for him was better.

"you know y/n i havnt thought about that in a long time, in all honesty i didn't even remember that place used to be there until you said something. me and mikes had some good memories there, i just wish i could spend another day in the old place."

i smiled at him in understanding. i totally get where he's coming from, i used to have memories like that. my family could always bring the best out in me, and there was always that one person who made you shine brighter just at the thought of them. i knew what it was like to feel that, of course i'd never admit that, and its been so long no one i knew then is still around to remind me anyways.

×××××××××

it wasn't long before we reached the tour bus. it felt good to get out, see new things, and be with people i wasn't chasing to eat. frank opened the door to the bus and stood back so everyone could climb on. he motioned for me to step on before him, i wanted to protest but gerard looked back at me from the second step and offered me his hand. i took it and followed him into the small living room like area. i looked around at all the things lying about and at what i assumed to be a television on the wall opposite the couch bench. ray and mikey made their way back behind a door and gerard was following suit until he paused to look back at me. he waved for me to follow him, i wasn't sure at first but i looked back at frank who nodded for me to go on.

when i walked back with him there were a few bunks that you could tell where occupied by people. some were full already of sleeping bodies and the others had little things that made them seem more homey. gerard stopped in front of me, turned, and sat down in what i figured to be his bunk. as he sat he looked up at me and smiled then turned to frank who has a scowl on his face. frank finally decided to speak up but quietly as few others were sleeping.

"we each have our bunks picked already, but since you're the only girl, you can have the room in the back. its mostly where we keep all our extra stuff that we didn't find a home for when we started the tour, and things we've gathered along the way, but there's a bed back there that you can use. if you walk forward i can show you."

i turned and walked with frank following suit. when i got to the door he reached around me and turned the handle for me and pushed it open. the room was fairly spacious for a bus but it was taken up with things scattered here and there. he was right it was more of a small dumping ground full of various belongings. the only thing in the room the seemed to be clean was the bed sitting next to an open window which was bringing in a cool breeze of night air. i walked forward still and sat on the bed in front of us and looked up at frank.

"will this be alright for the time being?"

"uh yeah it should be fine, ill have to find a blackout curtain for this window but other than that i think it should work."

i smiled at him and he just laughed a bit.

"is light really a probelm?"

"yes believe me it is. its quite a serious problem actually so the faster i get a curtain or blanket to block out the sun the better. the only time i can go out in the sun is if ive had enough blood to sustain me from burning. it's basically so i can just constantly be healing though."

he looked at me skeptically for a moment before shrugging and turning towards the door.

"well y/n im going to have to wish you goodnight. i know you will probably be awake for the rest of the night but we all have a show tomorrow and need sleep. so i bid you goodnight and will see you sometime later."

"yes i see, have a goodnight frank, and wish the rest of the guys goodnight for me as well."

"will do."

+++

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

[devoraakss]

Dangerous

Chapter 1: Nothing Like a Close Encounter with Death 

AO3 Link  

Summary:                          

Aveana had always had some small amount of magic, nothing as extravagant as Asra's, but she could weave life into the most difficult plants and heal most minor wounds with a bit of concentration. Under Asra's laid back teachings, she grew in leaps and bounds, he even took to teaching her how to read the cards, which she seemed to have a natural gift for.  It was useful, and she provided her magical services to the needy or poor, and only asked that they take care of themselves in return. She was a kind soul, and perhaps that was why she felt so out of place in her current situation.

Aveana didn't think of herself as helpless, far from it actually, but she would be a fool to say she was experienced in violence. Which made meeting an assassin... unfortunate, at best.  Before she had met Asra, from what pieces she remembers, her life was simple. She was a healer of sorts, herbal remedies and all that. She spent her days tending her plants and browsing the marketplace with a peaceful sort of calmness. When Asra arrived on her doorstep, he seemed to bring chaos with him. She wasn't sure what compelled her to allow him to stay, perhaps it was his charm, or her ache for companionship. In the end she couldn't be sure, but in return for her hospitality he took her under his wing as his apprentice.

Had she known how many times he would be absent, perhaps she would have reconsidered, but she didn’t regret it.  It was both a blessing and a curse, to learn under him. He was so secretive, and only provided the most minimal instructions before leaving her to her own devices. Which of course, she could manage but still, a little more guidance would have saved her from many ills.   Aveana had always had some small amount of magic, nothing as extravagant as Asra's, but she could weave life into the most difficult plants, and heal most minor wounds with a bit of concentration. Under Asra's laid back teachings, she grew in leaps and bounds, he even took to teaching her how to read the cards, which she seemed to have a natural gift for.

  It was useful, and she provided her magical services only to the needy or poor, and only asked that they take care of themselves in return. She was a kind soul, and perhaps that was why she felt so out of place in her current situation. She ached to waltz barefoot amongst the marketplace once more, basking in the hot sun and the call of the gulls overhead. At the Countesses palace, the only cry was of the tropical birds who sounded like they were dying, and her every step measured and evaluated for weakness by Nadia's court.  But now was no time to be aching for home, as an unknown attacker nearly knocked her off the bridge as she and Portia headed back from the town after a day of shopping for the upcoming masquerade.  Aveana stumbled to keep her balance, the vampire eels in the water below gathering under her shadow cast on the water. Portia screamed, alerting the guards as her attacker pulled a knife.   Sharp and serrated, and with the faintest hint of magic, it glinted menacingly in the setting sun. Aveana tried to put some distance between herself and the assailant, but to no avail as the attacker swung at her. The blade caught on her clothes, cutting deep into her chest. Stumbling back and out of her shock, Aveana quickly conjured a ball of magic and hurled it at the attacker, knocking him off the bridge in his stupor.   A splash, and a shrill cry was all they heard as the vampire eels took the man under.    Aveana was shaking, covering her wound with her cloak, she did not wish to have anyone fuss over her, though by the whispering coming from the guards she suspected the entire town would know before the sun had fully set.   "Oh, Aveana! Are you alright? You're not hurt are you?"  The apprentice shook her head. "No, no I'm... alright. Just shaken... I do not think I will be able to join the countess for dinner tonight... I am feeling quite drained.. I am not trained in offensive magic. It has taken a toll on me." It was a lie, but Portia looked convinced, though barely.  "I see. I will alert milady at once, after I have seen you to your room, and I will have guards posted at your door. Alright?" Portia looked at her earnestly and Aveana could only nod, though she did have plans to visit a certain... friend.

  Portia looked pleased and quickly ushered her through the palace doors and to the guest wing, busy servants glancing at them curiously. Portia ignored them, and was silent until reaching Aveana's room. "I'm sure my lady will want guards posted at once, I will check on you soon. Are you sure you are alright?" Aveana laughed softly, nodding. "please, do not fuss over me. It is just some fatigue. Nothing I haven't experienced before."  Aveana didn't wait for Portia to leave as she shut the door, letting her cloak flutter to the floor as she let her guard down. 

Almost collapsing into a chair, she peeled off her nearly blood soaked tunic, luckily it was dark enough to go unnoticed for a while. Examining the wound in the mirror she hissed. The blade tore he skin from her sternum to her collar bone, she's lucky he didn't catch anything important. Digging in her bag for her supplies she gathered the bandages and herbs she always kept on her person, chewing the healing herbs in her mouth before pressing them onto her wound gently. it was probably a bad idea to use her mouth to grind the herbs but it was the best she could do.

The healing sting made her knees shake, suddenly thankful for the chair. Ignoring the pain she pressed the clean bandages over and tying them off around her to keep them in place.  Something cool and smooth slithered over her ankle, red eyes peering at her from beneath her discarded cloak. Faust looked at her, tongue flicking out to smell the air and quickly sliding up her leg once the scent of blood was realized. Strange enough, the familiar looked concerned, as concerned as a snake could be anyway. "I'm fine Faust. But I'm sure you'll tell Asra, regardless. I've got to go now." Faust seemed to look disappointed and slithered off somewhere.  Grabbing the new clothes she had brought from her home she slipped the clean tunic, a soft fabric from overseas that was a rippling blue color, that seemed to change in hue as she moved. She can't quite recall how Asra came upon it, but she remembered him telling her it was her color. Though she was convinced he was just buttering her up to apologize for accidentally smashing her vials of wolfsbane. Changing out of the rest of her dirty clothes and donning what she had brought from home, she once more prepared to venture out, this time ready to fend off all future attackers. 

No doubt her 'friend' would have already heard of the incident, and be causing a scene if she didn’t arrive tonight. Scribbling a quick note for Portia about a lead on the murder, which wasn't a lie. she did have an idea that would help, but probably not help the countess, and leaving it on her bed.  'Portia, that attack gave me an idea that may help Nadia's investigation. I'll be back when I can, keep the gardens clear would you? And... don't tell the countess, I don’t want her to get her hopes up if it turns out to be nothing.'   she opened the window, glancing down, her vision doubled and she swayed slightly. She quickly tucked her head back into the building, feeling sick.   Foolish. She had forgotten the side effects of those herbs, but it was too late now, just don’t look down. Grabbing hold of the firm vines that crawled up the building she climbed down quickly, and quietly headed for the secret route out of the palace. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Entering the Rowdy Raven, the tavern was quieter than she had ever seen it, but only slightly. At the sight of her, the barkeep let out an irritated sigh. " 'bout time ya got here. Jules is 'boutta wear a damn hole in my floor, and im tired ah hearin' his damn boots click.." the old man grumbled, but looked pleased, whether it was about and end to julian's worried pacing, or that she wasn't dead she couldn't be sure. His fake eye rolled in its socket as he whipped his head around to yell upstairs. "'ey devorak! Ya friends here."    The sound of boots hurriedly marching down the stairs announced Julian's arrival, grey eye wide as he searched the room until settling on her. "Am I late?" Aveana joked, the herbs effects making her feel fuzzy all over, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. Good, it was working properly, bad, her tongue would be looser than usual.  Julian's look of relief was obvious, but he didn't seem to lose his worried demeanor. "My dear Aveana are you hurt? When I heard what happened I was mortified, I thought--"  The barkeep snorted, which sounded almost too similar to how a boar would, scowling at the two of them. "bah, save yer sweet talkin' for the bedroom boy. Yer takin' up space by the door."  Julian's cheeks flushed briefly, before he began pulling her towards the stairs. "Come, and tell me everything that happened. Is the bastard dead?"    Aveana followed without protest, shaking a hand through her hair, making it come loose from the bun that sat atop her head. "I mean, I knocked em off the bridge. Vampire eels probably got em... dunno if the guards got em in time. Don't really care. " She was coherent enough to know her slurred words would likely catch his attention, but she couldn't bring herself to care. It occurred to her she was suddenly cold... and Julian’s arms looked... really warm.  Julian frowned, lifting a brow. "I.. See." As they reached his room he led her to the only furniture there, the bed, and sat her down before he shut the door. "now, back to my other question, are you hurt? You do not seem well."  Aveana shrugged, shaking off her cloak and letting her hair down. "just a side effect of the medicine... makes me more relaxed."  Julian narrowed his eyes, brow furrowed and mouth drawn in a small scowl. "You were hurt."  She waved him off. "just a little cut. Nothing you need to worry about. Probably leave a scar... scars are hot." She hadn't meant to say that, dammit this was why she avoided using her mouth to crush herbs... where was her pestle when she needed it?  Julian sighed, kneeling in front of her. "I think I'll decide that. Come, let me see." 

Aveana looked down at him, brown raised. "If you wanted me out of my shirt jules you coulda' just asked." She teased, and a ripple of laughter left her lips as his cheeks ignited once more. He scowled again. "Aveana." His tone was serious, almost scolding and she relented, pouting.  "alright fine... jeez you're starting to sound like..." She held her tongue quickly, remembering the rocky past Asra and Julian seemed to have. She let herself trail off and instead removed her tunic, crossing an arm over her chest as the fabric was lifted from her form.    Julian eyed the bandage, lifting a gloved hand to remove it, stopping when she shied away. Julian looked up at her, worried. "you alright?"  Aveana nodded, keeping her face carefully pointed away from him to hide her burning cheeks. It had been years since anyone hade seen her this bare, and the one time Asra had was on accident, and she nearly launched a vase at him. Heh, seems she had a habit of doing that. "Yes, I... I'm just not used to..."   She trailed off and julian nodded, understanding. "do what makes you comfortable my dear. I simply wish to make sure you are alright. And if I can help i will."    Aveana carefully let her arm drop, undoing the bandages herself, hissing softly as she peeled away the herbal poultice as well. It was still bleeding, but not as profusely as before, and the way julians eye darkened she was in for a scolding. 

"instead, she got a soft sigh and a gentle hand on her leg. "I'm glad you are safe." He stood, heading to a small nightstand and grabbed more bandages.   Aveana's eyes followed him curiously, perplexed by his attitude. If it had been Asra... no, she shook that thought out of her mind. Julian was not Asra, and perhaps that’s what she liked about him. He returned to her and help her better dress the wound, silent as he did so. At least that was until he moved behind her to wrap the bandages around.    "What... are these?" He questioned softly, and she stiffened as his gloved hand traced the raised skin on her back. Of course, she knew what he was talking about. It was how she had originally obtained her magic, or so Asra hypothesized. But her memory of obtaining them was lost to her. Scars, old but still very much there, in intricate rune-like patterns, spanning the entirety of her back.  "They've been there so long... I've forgotten." She whispers, scared to speak louder than she had to. The only other person who had seen then was Asra... she felt very vulnerable under his gaze, unsure of his reaction. disgust maybe? horror? she felt like crawling into a hole and dying.  Julian traced the scars gently, his fingers running over the strange language that was seemly carved into her, long ago. He said nothing.    Aveana nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke, murmuring softly to her. "They're beautiful."  That made her heart stop, heat flooding her cheeks as he continued to wrap the bandages. When she finally remembered how to breathe he was done, once again in front of him. She couldn't read his expression, but his gentle smile told her everything she needed to know. "You're perfect, Aveana."  His words made her blush darken, tearing her gaze from his. "Flatterer."    Julian smirked, shrugging his shoulders as he handed her tunic back to her. "I'm trying." 

Aveana took the fabric gratefully, trying to ignore how hot the room was getting, and slipped it back over herself. Trying to calm the fluttering of her heart she cleared her throat, attempting to change the subject, but Julian beat her to it.     "Has anyone ever told you blue is your color?"

[retroreaderr]

Hello! So... since harry potter is on your fandom list thing, is there any way a huge fan of yours could get a slightly angsty and incredibly fluffy oneshot or more if you get inspired with that precious bb Remus Lupin? It can be HP era or marauders era, up to you. Thanks so much!! :)

OK SO PLEASE SEND MORE HARRY POTTER STUFF BC REMUS IS MY BABE AND I LOVE HIM SM??? this is set in the marauders era but i am 1000% down to write some golden trio era stuff too !! also im like one of a solid 3 people in the fandom that doesnt subscribe to the whole andrew garfield as a faceclaim thing but hey mod gaston and i came up with alternates and we decided matthew gray gubler makes an adorable remus bc look at this babe ???? but hey yall can have ur hcs ill have mine  🕷️💋

“Hey James!” you flagged down the boy as he walked.

“____, what’s up?”

“Have you seen Rem? I wanted to ask him about some homework.”

“He’s, uh, out. Y’know,” he nervously scans the other students passing the two of you.

“Full moon tonight?” you ask keeping your voice low. He nods slightly.

“Listen, I promised I’d meet Pads before dinner -” he awkwardly motioned towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

“No, no it’s alright,” you turn to walk back down the staircase, “I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?”

“Sure.”

You took a seat in one of the chairs of the Common Room, glancing around at the decor.

“Never been in Gryffindor’s before…” you mumble to yourself.

You watch as three particular troublemakers made their way from the boy’s dormitory towards you.

Sirius was the first to notice you, “____? What are you doing -”

“Got the password a while ago from a friend. Listen, I wanted to ask you something.”

“We’re kinda busy, can it wait till tomorrow?”

“No.”

“Listen, I know you guys usually spend the night with him, but -”

“How do you know that?”

“I’m his friend too, you know,” you sigh, “He tells me these kinds of things. Anyways, I was thinking…What if I went tonight?”

“I’m all for the fact that you wanna help a friend, ____, but you can’t come with us, it’s too dangerous.”

“I actually wanted to go alone.”

They all stared at you as if you were mad.

“Have you lost your damn mind?”

“James, listen, I’ve got a plan and -”

“No! It’s way too dangerous. Listen, ____, it’s nothing against you, but…It’s just…Too dangerous.”

“If you won’t let me go I’ll march right down to Dumbledore’s office and tell him about your little map you all use.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

James sighed, Sirius simply glared at you, and Peter stood behind them, clueless as always.

“When you get hurt don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

You get up from your seat and make your way towards the exit, “I’ll be fine.”

“How do you even know about the map anyways?” James calls after you.

“I told you, he tells me these kinds of things,” you smirk.

Your footsteps echoed off of the stone walls as you traversed the small passageway. You could still hear the thump of the Whomping Willow above you, and had it not been for the soft glow of your wand, you would’ve been left in complete darkness. After a few minutes of walking, you found yourself confronted with a small door above you, it reminded you of the entrance to a cellar. You pushed your way through it, being sure it was closed once you were through.

The house you stood in was dusty and decrepit, just standing in the hall you felt your anxiety levels rise. You slowly took your first step, and the floor under you creaked. You heard a shuffling from upstairs, and your eyes shot towards the ceiling, scanning it for any other signs of life. After a small period of silence, you took another step, this time towards the nearby staircase.

You heard the shuffling again, then a small thunk.

“Rem?” you whispered, hoping to hear him answer.

He didn’t.

You climbed the steps slowly, trying to make minimal noise. Your bag felt heavy on your shoulder despite its light weight.

At the top of the steps, you were faced with a door, half open already.

You reached out and pushed it, and watched as it slowly creaked open.

You saw him sat in the corner, his head buried in his knees, his breath rigid.

“Remus.”

His head shot up at the sound of your voice.

“____, what are you doing here?” his face was overwhelmed with worry, making the dark circles under his eyes even more prominent.

“You’ve got to leave, you gotta go, it - It’s not safe, you know -”

“Does it hurt?”

He stopped speaking, though his expression was still overcome with concern.

“What?”

“Does it hurt?”

He doesn’t acknowledge your question for a moment until he slowly nods, dropping his head back to his knees.

“Yeah,” his voice was muffled.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got to leave, though,” he suddenly stands, “You know it’s not safe -”

“I’m staying.”

He shakes his head as he approaches you, “Please, I don’t…” He finally is close enough to touch, and you watch your friend stare down at your hand - god how much he wanted to take it in his own, grab it and never let go - “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“I might,” he meets your eyes, “I can’t exactly control myself when…When it happens.”

You reach into your bag, pulling out a small object. You look at it before placing it in his hand.

“I know it’s your favorite.” He looks at the small candy bar before glancing back up at you, he had such pretty eyes, didn’t he? You never noticed how the green sometimes turned to a sort of blue -

“Thank you,” a small smile crossed his face, “But…You really do have to go.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“____-”

“At least let me stay for a little bit longer, then.”

He turned his head, looking out the window before glancing down at the chocolate, then to you.

“You can’t stay long.”

A smile spreads across your face.

“I don’t get how you stand me, really,” he leans his head back against the wall.

“Hm?”

“I mean, all I really am is a hassle, aren’t I? I just cause problems and I’m not worth your time, and -”

“Rem, you’re worth all the time in the world.”

“What I am is a monster.”

“What you are is kind, and cute, and shy and -”

“I don’t get why you like someone like me. Someone with my condition.”

“Because you aren’t defined by it. It’s a small part of a much bigger whole.”

“It’s a pretty big part of my life, if you ask me.”

“I’m not saying it’s not. I’m saying everything else about you, all that good, isn’t defined by that single negative. You’re too hard on yourself, Remus. You’re really a wonderful guy.”

“That’s not how I see it.”

“Well it’s how everyone else does. I’ll just have to teach you to see it my way, eh?” you nudge him playfully. He flashes a small smile again, and the sight makes your heart melt.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, just sitting, enjoying each other’s company. You almost forget why you’re there until suddenly you see him tense up.

“Rem?”

“You gotta go,” he breathes before letting out a grunt of pain and falling forward to the floor.

You felt your heart shatter at the sight of him in pain.

“Rem -” you reach out towards him, resting your hand on his shoulder. At your touch he jerks away.

“Go.”

“No.”

He’s shaking as he meets your eyes. His pupils dilate as his head lowers again, and he lets out a scream of pain. You wince at the noise, but stand your ground. His nails dig into the floor and his breath quivers as he bites hard on his bottom lip, drawing blood.

“Please,” his voice is weak.

“I want to stay.”

He jerks backwards, slamming against the wall. You look away as you hear the sickening snap of bone.

You slowly back towards the bed that sat in the corner of the room, unsure of what to do. He let out another groan of pain, though as it went on it became less human. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

There were a few more moments filled with the sounds of both bone and flesh contorting, and you hold your breath as the room becomes silent. You hear a small whimper, and you slowly open your eyes, and turn to face him.

You’d expected much worse, honestly.

He almost looked cute - his fur was shaggy, and the same shade as his hair. His robes were tattered but still clung to his body.

You let out the breath you held.

His amber eyes snapped up towards you, and you were struck with fear.

“Rem?” you whisper.

The wolf’s eyes softened for a moment, and he took a step towards you. You smiled and stepped away from the bed, towards him, and extended a hand to reach for him. He stopped walking, and you barely saw his pupils dilate once more before he let out a growl and leapt towards you.

You stumbled backwards, onto the bed and frantically grabbed around for your wand. Your fingers felt nothing but the cold and worn quilt of the bed as you heard another bark and the patter of nails against the hardwood floor. You barely rolled out of the way before you felt the pressure of another creature on the bed besides you. You clambered onto the floor, searching furiously for your wand. You spotted it a foot away, next to your bag. Crawling towards it, you barely making contact before you heard the howl of your friend beside you.

If you could even call it your friend - you knew it wasn’t really him.

“Rem, please,” you whimper, finally grabbing hold of your wand. You then pull yourself to your feet using the wall as support.

The wolf simply growled aggressively, and bounded towards you. He swiped at your arm, barely catching it and tearing your colored robes in the process. The action made you fall backwards, though you didn’t process the pain right away.

Your breathing quickened as the animal slowly approached you again, teeth bared.

“Remus, I know you’re in there somewhere. I know…I know…”

The beast paid no attention to your pleas and leaped towards you again, but before he made contact with you, your arm flew in front of you, wand in hand. You weren’t sure which spell you’d casted, as a thousand different ones had flown through your mind all at once, but whichever it was sent the wolf flying back into the wall. It landed on the ground, whimpering. You immediately felt a pang of regret and sadness, you had just hurt your best friend.

You slowly approached him, placing a hand on his soft fur.

“Rem?”

The wolf responded slightly to the noise, trying to lift its head. It let out a deep huff before resting back on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry -” You placed your other hand onto its head, petting him. It seemed to lean into your touch, once again letting out a small whine.

Maybe it had hit its head too hard, or maybe you had somehow gotten through to him, but you knew then that you were safe. You sat down next to him, leaning against his torso, slowly stroking the fur of his neck. The scraps of robe that still stuck to him somehow only added to your comfort, reminding you of his true self.

You closed your eyes, and soon enough fell into a deep slumber, not even noticing that the wolf had adjusted its large body to somewhat wrap itself around you protectively.

It wasn’t the sunlight glaring through the window that woke you. It wasn’t even the cold. In fact, it was the lack of cold that had awoken you. You opened your eyes, still dazed from sleep. Your pillow rose and fell rhythmically, and you raised your head to look at it, confused.

Instead of the familiar four-poster you were used to sleeping in, you then realized that you lay on the hard-wood floor of a bedroom.

“Rem?” your voice was low and still veiled in slumber.

He lay below you, dark circles surrounding his eyes. Just the look of him made you exhausted, as though in some way you could share his burden of fatigue.

His arm is draped around your waist, and you make no attempt to move it as you lay back down against his chest, which is barely covered by his clothes.

The contact makes him shiver, and he opens his eyes, startled after being pulled from sleep.

He groans, taking a moment to asses the situation.

“____?” his voice is gravelly.

“Hm?” you snuggle closer to him, suddenly feeling the chill of the shack’s air.

“What are you…Oh god. Oh god, did I -”

“I’m fine, love.”

He stiffens at the name. You chuckle, then reach up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“____, I don’t understand…”

“Hm?”

“Why you’d risk your life for…Someone like me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I…I just…”

You look up at him again and see a few stray strands of hair draped over his face. You grin, once again reaching up to kiss him, though this time you capture his lips, and your eyes flutter shut as you do so. Despite his exhaust, he eagerly kisses back, and after you part he sighs, turning his head to stare out the window.

“Have you got classes today?”

“No.”

“Can we stay a while longer?”

“Of course, Rem.”

You hear an almost inaudible, “Yes!” from him.

You giggle as you cuddle closer to him, and he wraps his other arm around you, “Dork.”