#ANYWAYS if you're reading this i'm so sorry this is also probably wildly inappropriate

[the-anxious-skeleton]

Hi! I don’t know if this should be a question or if I just wanted someone to listen, but I appreciate you having asks open.

So I have really bad anxiety, both general and social anxiety. It’s usually manageable in real life because I have really good friends that are emotionally supportive. But this situation feels kinda stupid to bother my friends about and I was embarrassed. They also don’t use Tumblr, so it would’ve been harder to explain.

I started a Tumblr blog a couple of days ago. It was just a small thing to write about characters for games and shows I was into. I made a pinned intro including groups I didn’t want to interact with the blog. I think the exact wording included “racists, homophobes, transphobes, furries - basically anyone with anything gross / hateful / offensive to say”. I didn’t see a problem with this at the time, however, not too long ago I got an anon ask that read “Seriously? Lumping furries with transphobes and homophobes? What’s wrong with you lmao”

In hindsight, I can totally see their point. I was undermining the severity of other hateful groups because, obviously, furries aren’t anything comparable to those things and have nothing to do with them. Even if I didn’t intend that in anyway, it could still undermine those sensitive topics and offend another group of people that have nothing to do with those things.

However, due to my anxiety, I guess I got triggered and panicked. I deleted my blog not too long after I read the message. I already have a lot going on with tests and stuff and I didn’t think it through. I should’ve apologized and held myself accountable. I would say it was be removing myself from a situation I wasn’t mentally prepared for, but I feel like I just ran away from a situation even though I knew I was in the wrong. I feel guilty.

I feel that my anxiety makes it so I cannot handle an online space. I am a creative, both an artist and writer, so I crave validation for my work from a large amount of people. But if I do so much as make a small mistake or do something unintentionally, I panic and isolate myself again. And then I feel worse because I feel like I’m running away from my problems. It’s like a bad cycle.

I’m sorry if this ask is too long or rambling, but I felt like talking to someone from the same platform would make it a bit easier for them to understand. I’m probably making this a way bigger issue than it is or maybe not. I get so in my head sometimes it’s hard to tell, and I hope that makes sense. Thank you once again and I hope you have a very nice day :)

Hey. I'm so glad you reached out!

I encountered a situation very similar to this on my main blog. I basically posted something very triggering to some people and didn't tag it properly. I added broad mental health related tags instead of more specific tags that would have appealed to a niche group that would have understood what I was talking about without being triggered. Someone submitted an anonymous ask, very kindly brought the inappropriate tagging to my attention. I was wildly embarrassed and wanted to curl up and die. I deleted the post and apologized in response to the ask. This really hurt my feelings and made me feel really stupid. In retrospect, I really appreciate that person pointing out the issue in a respectful manner. It helped me become more aware of how the Tumblr community works and helped me understand that I needed to be conscious of other people's situations. The best thing you can do at this point is to rebuild a blog for your work, and if you aren't sure about something you're posting, ask a friend, or of course, send me a message and I can help. I hope this was helpful and made sense. I am very proud of you for recognizing your mistake and growing from that. Everyone makes mistakes, but not many take the initiative to grow from them. Again, let me know if there is anything else I can help you with! Everything will be alright, you got this!

[chockfullofsecrets]

Bedridden

Rating: Gen

Summary: Toshinori is getting a little twitchy after being forced into an afternoon of bed rest, but a visit from his successor cheers him up much more than expected.

Wordcount: 2098

A/N: oof, it’s been a while... I promise you guys that there’s still so much fic I want to write, but I’m really not up to it right now. Still, I figured I wasn’t the only one who could use a pick-me-up, so here’s a bit of an older idea inspired by this.

There was so much worse that had happened to him, Toshinori thought wryly, than being confined to an infirmary bed for a few hours.

Unfortunately, that didn’t make it any easier to calm himself and relax as Recovery Girl had specifically ordered him to. As he lay flat on his back, a thin sheet draped over his legs and feet propped up on the metal frame in the only way that the bed could comfortably accommodate him, watching the clock tick past minute by painful minute felt like one of the tensest moments of his life.

His doleful contemplation continued - what if these hours of forced rest became more frequent, with teaching classes and doing what little hero work he could starting to chafe at the limits of his body? Was this all he had to look forward to? Stumbling to the teacher’s lounge and being met with demands of rest and recovery and obsolescence? Grading papers in a dark room to the background noise of students excitedly scuffing their way down the halls -

Ah, here came one of the scufflers now. Toshinori let his head loll sideways at the sound of sneakers against tile, trying to smile as he cleared his throat in preparation to tell whoever it was that Recovery Girl had gone off to oversee some third-years’ extra training.

A head of forest green hair popped around the doorway, and he felt his smile expand into something just a little realer. “Midoriya, my boy!”

“All Might!” his protege cheered softly, scooting cautiously into the room. “Hi! Ah - is Recovery Girl around?”

“No - wait, are you hurt? Sit down, I’ll go find her-”

“No, no!” Midoriya waved his arms frantically at Toshinori’s attempt to get up. “I’m completely fine, I promise!” Arms still half extended, he looked guiltily away in a manner that would have made Toshinori doubt him if the boy wasn’t so bad at lying. “I just didn’t want her to scold me for coming down here - I had to check - are - are you hurt?”

Toshinori took one look at those wide, worried eyes and had to turn away to stare at the ceiling instead. “No more than usual,” he reassured boldly. “Recovery Girl is just being cautious - in fact, I feel as if I could spring up and fight someone right now!” Himself, in particular, for concerning his students, but Midoriya didn’t need to hear that.

“Oh - oh, good!” Midoriya proclaimed unconvincingly. Toshinori looked over again to see the boy rocking nervously on his red-clad feet, each forward swing inching him a little closer to the end of Toshinori’s bed. “Though you really shouldn’t do that, haha, because you’d have to leave the infirmary and go outside to find a villain and I think Recovery Girl would be really mad-”

He was getting perilously close to Toshinori’s bare feet. With an instinct that was half heroic reflex and half a very unheroic need to protect that particular part of his body, Toshinori squirmed a little further back on the bed and tried to yank his feet unobtrusively off the railing to the safety of his blanket.

No such luck - at the slight movement, Midoriya sprang forward and wrapped a gentle hand around each of his ankles, pressing them back down to the railing. The boy’s reflexes had improved considerably since receiving One For All and starting at UA, Toshinori noticed, proud and annoyed. He was getting far too good at grabbing things. “Sorry, sorry! I just don’t want you to hurt yourself like last time!” A gentle pat to his ankles. “Hold still!”

Ah, last time. He and Midoriya had both been in the infirmary, the only two casualties of USJ that required supervision without needing to go to the hospital, and the boy’s mother had come to collect him. Toshinori had, as usual, been leaning his feet on the bed frame to avoid folding himself accordion-like onto the mattress. Midoriya Inko had walked by him, stumbling a little too close at the sight of her bandaged son, and he’d bent so quickly to move his legs that it had disturbed his healing ribs. He’d been subjected to the fretting of two Midoriyas as he curled in on himself, wheezing, and Recovery Girl had of course given him a strict lecture to follow.

Maybe it was safer this way. Of course Midoriya wouldn’t-

“Are these the acid burns from the time that you kicked Melter and he dissolved half your suit?” Midoriya asked, running a thumb gently up his sole with a disregard for personal space that only happened when he was in analysis mode. Toshinori’s breath caught. Don’t do it, don’t-

“M-my boy-”

“And, oh, this callus - wait, how do you distribute weight in your large form?” Another finger trailing innocently down the side of his foot, Midoriya’s other hand nudging insistently at his toes to stretch his foot for further examination. He scrunched his eyes shut, mouth working in time with the unbearable tingling of his nerves. Don’t laugh, he told himself firmly, he’ll stop in a moment, just hold still-.

“You move like you have all your weight on the balls of your feet, this doesn’t make sense, this space should be-”

What felt like an entire battalion of fingernails scratched softly against the arch of his foot, and Toshinori couldn’t even hope to suppress the string of near-hysterical cackles that escaped him as the boy just kept going.

“M-midoriyaha! AhAAAAHAHA! PLEHEEASE! HAHA! STAHAHAP!”

He was still banging a fist ineffectually against the bedcovers when he was released seconds later, coughing lightly to drag air back into his lung. Midoriya was gaping at him, utterly horrified. “Oh, oh no, I’m so sorry! How could I have done that?”

Tears welled up his eyes as Toshinori continued to wheeze and scrub at the huge grin on his face. “I - I didn’t mean to…”

Hearing the tremor in his words, Toshinori nudged him with his non-tickled foot - the other one was currently curled beneath him and still tingling a little - and levered himself upright. “Hey, hey, we’ve talked about the crying!”

“Sorry, s-sorry-”

“Mi - Izuku. I’m here. Tell me what’s wrong, if you can, and I’ll help you.”

Now Midoriya was the one gasping for breath, his voice small and wet. “I - I didn’t want to hurt you, I just wanted to come and see you, and I was worried, and you looked so tired, and I thought I could sit with you for a while and it would help but I just make you feel worse!”

“Whoa, okay, okay. Midoriya, come on - come, look at me! I don’t look worse, do I?”

Midoriya mumbled a protest, but obediently caught Toshinori in his hesitant gaze. Toshinori didn’t shirk it this time, letting him take in the half-shed tears of laughter caught in his eyelashes and the smile still tilting his lips up at the corners. “Y-you’re okay?”

“Ha, of course! I’m still very ticklish, but I don’t think even Recovery Girl could fix that.” He beckoned Midoriya to his side, reaching up to ruffle his wild hair into further disarray before the boy could start in on tears of relief. “I should be the one apologizing for making you worry! Thank you for putting a smile back on my face!”

And this was what he could look forward to, what would make any number of rest hours in the infirmary worthwhile - Midoriya flushing proudly as he smiled, shoulders straightening under the deserved praise. “Of course, All Might! After all, it’s a hero’s job to help others smile! Though maybe not with tickling - wow, I can’t believe you’re ticklish...”

Toshinori laughed awkwardly and ruffled his hair again, quirking an eyebrow as Midoriya’s smile turned mischievous. “You know, when I was little and got hurt, sometimes my mom would tickle me when she patched me up to remind me to be more careful next time. Maybe it’s good medicine for people who work too hard and end up in the infirmary!”

“Oh, really? I’ll have to remember that the next time you end up in here, then.”

“O-oh, you don’t have to-”

“I won’t have to remember for long, right? You end up here a lot - in fact, you’re here right now!” Toshinori teased, tugging at Midoriya’s jacket sleeve to pull him closer.

“Eep - All Might, noho!” Midoriya stumbled back, already giggling, but the firm hold Toshinori had on his sleeve resulted in a quick spin that had Midoriya tumbling belly-up into Toshinori’s lap. “WaitwaitwaHAIT - HEHEHE! THAT TIHICKLES!”

Toshinori tilted his head as he burrowed thin fingers under Midoriya’s jacket to squeeze at his sides, rubbing each thumb gently over a defenseless floating rib. “Oh, does it? Does this tickle less?”

The fingers diverted to spider over his belly, prodding mercilessly at hypersensitive skin through his shirt, and Midoriya shrieked in response. “NOHOHO! MAHAHARE! TICKLES MOHOHOOORE!”

“More tickles? If you say so!” Toshinori’s lap was a pile of flailing, sputtering child, Midoriya rolling frantically from side to ticklish side in vain attempts to find a position that rendered him safe from the onslaught of wiggling attackers. Toshinori didn’t make it easy, using his long reach to keep the boy contained; occasionally, he sacrificed a hand to pin one elbow down and launch a merciless assault under Midoriya’s arm that garnered breathless snorts of laughter loud enough to fill the oppressive infirmary atmosphere. He didn’t have a lot of practice at tickling, admittedly, but even his novice tactics of strumming at a single rib or reaching to where Midoriya’s knees hung off the edge of the bed for a couple clumsy squeezes were enough to render his victim completely helpless.

Midoriya ended up half enveloped in blanket, folding himself to bury his face firmly against Toshinori’s thin chest as he squealed with every single poke. Toshinori couldn’t help chuckling at the promising hero student curled up in a wobbly little ball against him, tugging his hands free and tapping Midoriya’s forehead gently. His other hand went to his shaking back, rubbing in soothing circles to calm him. “Ah, are you all right? You didn’t tell me to stop…”

The back of  the boy’s neck went bright red. “I’m gonna beat you next time,” he mumbled into Toshinori’s shirt.

“Oh? You and these ticklish ribs?” He prodded Midoriya in the appropriate spot and grinned at the resulting string of bubbly giggles.

“I’ll - I’ll bring backup!”

Toshinori flinched a little at the thought of being bombarded with one student determined to tickle him to death, let alone multiple children, but who was he to dissuade Midoriya from embracing teamwork?

“If you say so, my boy.” Patting his back, Toshinori looked up at the clock - it was nearly the time when he could leave without incurring Recovery Girl’s wrath. Surely leaving a few minutes early wouldn’t get him in that much trouble.

He was halfway through shuffling Midoriya off him when the instantly recognizable tap of a cane filtered down the hallway. They both froze.

Thinking quickly and probably poorly, Toshinori scooped Midoriya up and rolled him gently over the side of the bed opposite the door, straightening his blanket and flopping back onto his pillows just as Recovery Girl rounded the corner.

“Ah, Chiyo!” He pretended to stretch, dropping his feet back over the edge of the bedrail and giving her a genuine smile - he did feel much better, now. “I hope your afternoon has been every bit as restful as mine!”

Recovery Girl clucked at him, beckoning him to sit up and be checked over. “Some bed rest has done you good, Toshinori, I see the color’s come back into your cheeks. Maybe you’d look like this all the time if you slept properly at night, you foolish man.”

“I’ll do my best, Chiyo.” She clucked again, cane whapping in an insistent motion against the floor, and Toshinori winced. “I mean I’ll take any recommendation on sleep aids you have to offer, of course! Oh, and I have a visitor! Midoriya?”

Midoriya popped up from the floor, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He’d managed to straighten his jacket, and his tie… well, that was always a mess. “Sorry, I was just… tying my shoe?”

Recovery Girl regarded his uncertain expression suspiciously. “As long as you didn’t break a finger doing that,” she sighed, “I’m not even going to ask. All right, both of you, get out! Toshinori, I’ll come find you tomorrow.”

Toshinori shivered. “Of course.” Scary.

He slipped his shoes on, bowed to Recovery Girl, and walked out with Midoriya at his side.