#AND make decisions that have a net positive while seeing the nuance rather than picking a stance and hiding behind it like a mask

[genuflecting]

I hope those who voted third party or didn't vote watch the next four years and realize the two candidates were not, in fact, "the same," but I won't be there to hold their hands through it

[9ofspades]

The biggest problem in the Hole Problem Discourse TM is the paradigm of moral absolutism on tumblr.  Anyone trying to label or pigeonhole Simone as a “good” or “bad” person is missing the point of the entire show.  

We’ve seen in the past few episodes that no character on this entire show is fully incapable of changing.  Eleanor changed to be a better person.  Jason grew as a person and learned restraint.  Michael had been torturing people for thousands of years and got to the point where he was willing to sacrifice himself to save the four humans.  Hell, even Eleanor’s mom changed and became a decent parent.  

The Judge’s tests showed that Chidi was still indecisive, Tahani was still focused on what people thought of her, and Jason was still way too impulsive towards the end of season 2.  Michael’s argument, which the Judge and the entire show support, was that a one-time test to see how good a person any given human is at the time, based on the choices they made, was a terrible way of evaluating a human’s moral worth given how complicated and ever-evolving humans are.  

Deciding to abandon Brent in the hole is one decision, much like the Judge’s tests.  The show has established time and time again that humans are not “good” or “bad” based on one decision they make in their lives, no matter how important.  

Admittedly, some people in the Discourse aren’t arguing that Simone is a good or bad person, but rather that she didn’t actually change or confront her character flaws during the experiment, which would absolutely negatively affect her point total based on The Good Place’s moral system.  That’s a fair point.  

There is a lot of blue sky, to use Marc Evan Jackson’s phrase, between being a “good” person and a “bad” person.  Eleanor spends the entire first season arguing this:  The idea that you have to be one-in-a-million levels of good or else you spend eternity being tortured is fundamentally flawed.  (Even though pre-redemption Eleanor was kind of an objectively bad person, the point stands)  In the Hole Problem, Chidi’s choice sets him apart by making him one of the one-in-a-million people who would actually have risked his soul to help a... toilet full of broccoli.  That doesn’t mean that anyone who didn’t choose the same thing is automatically a bad person.   The world isn’t divided into “saints” and “bad people”; there is absolutely a universe of grey in-between.  If you wouldn’t run into a burning building to save a child, you aren’t necessarily a “bad person”; you are just a person who didn’t make the most selfless moral choice in that particular moment.  It’s what you choose to do or become throughout your entire life that might maybe come close to determining where you fall on the good/bad spectrum.  

 Simone is operating by a different moral system than Chidi and the people who are saying she’s a “bad person”, and while Chidi is mature enough as a philosopher to recognize and respect that, most of the naysayers on tumblr are not.  

By his own particular moral standards, Chidi was absolutely doing the right thing in that particular moment.  

However, from a utilitarian perspective, all Chidi actually accomplished was to hurt both Simone and himself, a negative net effect.  He made a good choice with the absolute best of intentions.  I would personally argue that this is a reason why Chidi deserves to be in the Real Good Place.  But the perspective that Chidi made the wrong decision is also valid:  While the sentiment was nice, Chidi didn’t actually help Brent out of the hole.  He accomplished nothing on that front.  Moreover, he landed himself in the hole and inconvenienced Michael & Co, who then had to save him; and his rigid moral philosophy caused him to break up with Simone, who likely thought she would never see him again and that he would end up being tortured for eternity.  The net impact of his actions could easily have done more harm than good, even if most of us adopt him as a sweet being too good and pure for this world.  (Luckily this was all an experiment, Simone’s probably going to see Chidi again at some point, and Chidi might have actually saved all of humanity from being tortured.) 

Simone, by contrast, was running with the high probability of saving both herself and John, as opposed to the mere possibility of saving Brent, which, even if it had been successful, might have doomed all four of them in the process.  From a rational choice perspective, if they had actually been in hell, her choice might have led to more net good -- Brent was probably doomed anyway, so the main difference was just whether she was tortured along with him.  This might not have been her actual rationale, but from that perspective she was making the only rational choice available to her.  

It can easily be argued based on what we saw of the accounting office in Season 3 that Simone’s actions ended in net good, since they directly resulted in Chidi being able to speak to Brent alone about what a terrible person he was, and Brent finally having the time and space to process that and feel remorse.  So from that perspective, Simone technically did a good deed as well by leaving Brent in the hole.  

(There are numerous possibilities for what Simone was thinking, and there are multiple systems under which she could have been making an ethical decision.  The point is not to argue for which one, or to try to ascribe motives to her, but rather to point out that Chidi’s and Michael’s brands of ethics are not the only brands of ethics in this world, even if they are in the world of The Good Place, so it’s entirely premature to try to classify even just Simone’s decision as objectively, inarguably “good” or “bad” based on those ethical frameworks, let alone Simone herself as a person.)  

Another possible key distinction here is between preventative and retributive justice.  

Some people are arguing that the only possible moral decision would have been to save Brent, because he couldn’t have actually harmed any of them without systematic privilege on his side; the worst he could do was to try to fight them or say terrible things to them.  That’s coming from the perspective that the only valid form of justice is to prevent bad things from happening in the future.  Which kind of goes against the whole premise of a Bad Place.  But regardless of whether that’s wrong or right according to the show, that is only one possible perspective on morality, justice, and punishment.  

An alternative perspective is that it is one’s moral duty to leave Brent in the hole so that he can be punished for his actions.  We’ve seen throughout the season that Brent has not done a single good deed either on earth or during his year in the afterlife, with some exceptions (picking up a fork for a waiter, holding a door for someone, both of which were for the purpose of getting into the “Best Place”).  He didn’t have Eleanor’s excuse of having to fend for himself his entire childhood, having grown up in a place of wealth and privilege, and he also actively hurt people through gross negligence and apathy and a fundamental lack of self-awareness.  If you’re coming at it from a retributive perspective, he absolutely deserves to be punished for the life - and year-long experimental afterlife - that he lived, and trying to save him from that violates principles of justice and is the wrong thing to do.  

Admittedly, John has also done terrible things in his life, and it’s possible that Simone feels she has a few skeletons in her closet; the moral duty in those cases might be for both of them to stay so they can be punished as well.  In this case, they’re still choosing to make the selfish decision to save themselves even if it goes against principles of justice, but, hey, pobody’s nerfect.  No absolute philosophical framework can be followed exactly, which is why they’re more like guiding principles you strive for than actual laws you have to follow 24/7.  Simone might be making a mistake here even according to that philosophical framework, but it isn’t an irredeemable one.  

While Chidi disagrees as much as humanly possible with Simone’s decision, he ultimately doesn’t tell her off, try to explain ethics to her, or tell her that she’s a bad person.  Instead, he just says, “I respect your position”.  This isn’t him being passive or polite.  He genuinely recognizes that Simone holds a different philosophical position from him, and that while his particular brand of ethics would say that Simone is being wrong and bad, his ethical viewpoint is not universal and it isn’t his place to judge all other people in the world by it.  He recognizes that different brands of ethics exist, that it’s possible to lead a good or ethical life doing something a Kantian would morally forbid, and that he is not the sole judge of morality.  Simone isn’t a “bad person” because she did something that Chidi and the Soul Squad disagreed with.  She’s simply operating under a different moral perspective.  

It’s fairly safe to say that people saying Simone is a bad person for abandoning Brent would believe Chidi is doing the right thing and being a good person.  And that most of us want to be more like Chidi in that particular instance.  To do that, though, we all have to have the humility and philosophical understanding that ours is not the only valid viewpoint, and that things that oppose our tenets of morality are not objectively “good” or “bad”.  This nuance is the entire point of The Good Place, after all.  Let’s do what the show wanted us to do all along, and come at these messy philosophical quandaries from a place of questioning and empathy instead of knee-jerk judgment and condemnation.  

[micaelavn52-blog]

5 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About Wordpress hosting India

You may have come across Woocommerce Hosting strategies if you are a newbie to WordPress and also need to begin an ecommerce site. Web hosting is http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=wordpress hosting among the crucial components of WordPress hosting. Wordpress Hosting is the most effective site managing service for the online companies of all types and also statures.

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There may be celebrations when you will need to customize your WordPress site, and the sole remedy is to modify the underlying code of the motif you're making use of. Knowing the nuanced included advantages of managed WordPress hosting can help you develop the excellent option for your firm site. You're more than likely currently mindful of WordPress's several advantages as quickly as it comes to producing a site, however you might be much less well-informed concerning just how well it prices with eCommerce.

A default WordPress theme comes prepared to make use of with each brand-new WordPress installment, you might install as well as trigger a various motif if you like. If you are searching for a rapid WordPress hosting you need to go with the points that I will certainly educate you, that WordPress Responsive Motif. WordPress is not hard to use and is presently supported by a tremendous community of programmers as well as designers.

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WordPress Internet site makes it less complex for everyone to create a WordPress website from the ground up. Additionally make certain that the managed WordPress service has a huge and helpful knowledge base readily available for helping you to recognize how to do numerous points in WordPress, and that indicates you won't require to call support simply to exercise exactly how to do what you need to do with your WordPress installment. Certain, you're more probable to opt for WordPress hosting.

Choosing an accurate managed host can be rough, especially when you're taking a look at higher priced managed hosting making an overall decision isn't basic. While choosing at the start, it's far much better to get an adaptable hosting service. On the topic of getting all the qualities that you require for an expert website with perhaps one of the most up-to-date internet purposes, while slicing back on rates, low-cost internet hosting is the fashion to go.

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That on-page online search engine optimisation optimization recommendations can enable you to boost Search Engine Optimization and also the positions of existing content. You don't have to constantly fret regarding the site, instead take into consideration the business and likewise upon its development. Organisations you have a right to obtain hosting services as well as various type of packages supplied by the firms.

If different plugins are acquired, rather than managing a solitary business, there are various services that will certainly want to get taken care of. Just how WordPress is an open resource software, gives hopes to a great deal of people since there are developers that are frequently trying to boost the software for individuals around the world as the program is totally complimentary. When you're checking into a hosting option for your site, it's important to see specifically what type of flexibility you've got.

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You are likely to lose worrying speed if our hosting company isn't existing by utilizing their modern technology. You just require to make educated choices regarding which ones your website actually requires. If a hosting company can boost your hosting needs on a scale, you're discover you're able to progressively move up the range as your website expands in dimension.

If you are a newbie to WordPress as well as require to start an ecommerce website, you may have come throughout Woocommerce Hosting plans. Web hosting is amongst the essential elements of WordPress hosting. That WordPress Responsive Style If you are searching for a rapid WordPress hosting you require to go with the factors that I will educate you. Selecting an exact managed host can be rough, specifically when you're looking at greater valued managed hosting making an all in all decision isn't simple. If a hosting firm can boost your hosting needs on a range, you're find you're able to gradually relocate up the scale as your website expands in dimension.

[princeofny]

A clarification, not a review, of “Astroball”

Some – not all, but some – of “Astroball” by Ben Reiter came about because of the author’s half-joking prediction in 2014 that the then-worst team in baseball if not one of the worst teams in baseball history, the Houston Astros, would ride their rocket scientists, mathematicians, corporate veterans and Ivy League college graduates who permeate their front office to baseball dominance and a World Series win in 2017.

The story would be interesting but not so easily salable had that freak guess not happened to come true.

But it did.

To his credit, Reiter acknowledges the lightning bolt nature of that prediction/guess/divine intervention– whatever you want to call it – coming to fruition. However, the remainder of the book serves as a love letter to the architect of the Astros’ rise, general manager Jeff Luhnow, to the degree that even his wrongs turned out to be not so wrong; even his mistakes contained a method behind the perceived madness; and any glaring gaffe stemming from arrogance, ignorance or coldblooded inhumanity could be mitigated and explained away.

As the Astros and Reiter bask in the afterglow of the achievement of their ultimate vision, it’s ironic that the relentless criticisms of the organization that had receded into the background rose again with the near simultaneous release of the book and, within 20 days, the club’s acquisition of closer Roberto Osuna who was only available from the Toronto Blue Jays because he was under suspension by Major League Baseball for an alleged domestic violence incident for which he was arrested with the case still pending in Toronto.

In one shot, the Astros regained their reputation for putting performance above people; for indicating that profit takes precedence over right and wrong.

In the immediate aftermath of the trade for Osuna, the handwringing on Twitter and outright criticism by columnists and radio hosts made it seem as if the Astros had never exhibited this type of borderline sociopathic tendencies in the past when it is precisely how they behaved to get so far, so fast. The World Series title and the narrative of how it was achieved gave them an “it worked” safety net.

Suddenly, the intriguing stories of Carlos Correa, Justin Verlander, Carlos Beltran and Sig Mejdal – for the most part, positive portrayals of generally likable people – were jolted back to the ambiguity of some of the Astros' clever, manipulative and underhanded tactics used to achieve their ends.

What cannot be denied and was shown again with the Osuna trade is the Astros did and do treat human beings as cattle whose survival is based on nothing more than their current usefulness; that any pretense of acceptable and unacceptable behavior hinges on cost and usefulness. The book’s attempt to humanize Luhnow and his staff in contrast with the manner they run the team was immediately sabotaged by acquiring Osuna.

The big questions about “Astroball” should not center around what’s in the book, but what’s not in the book.

Those who are either not invested in the concept of the Astros’ new way of doing things being the wave of the future or did not walk into the movie when it was half over and remember exactly what happened during the reconstruction will wonder about the following:

How is the name Andrew Friedman mentioned once for his role as president of baseball operations for the Los Angeles Dodgers and not as Astros owner Jim Crane’s first choice to be the Astros GM – with Luhnow the second choice?

How is it possible that the name Jon Singleton, who received $10 million for nothing, is nowhere in the text?

Why were the circumstances under which manager Bo Porter was fired completely ignored and treated as part of a planned process?

Why was the rushed trade for Carlos Gomez a shrugged off mistake with one sentence dedicated to it?

One man’s reasonable explanation is another’s farcical alibi. Depending on one’s perspective and agenda, both can appear true.

The drafting of Brady Aiken and subsequent attempt to lowball him following an agreed-upon contract was adapted to show how brilliantly conniving Luhnow was for offering the precise bonus amount to benefit the club in the subsequent draft should Aiken reject the offer as they knew he would – in fact, there’s an attempt to make Luhnow look benevolent for how Aiken was treated.

The release of J.D. Martinez is an admitted mistake…but then-manager Porter was blamed because he only gave Martinez 18 spring training at-bats the year Martinez arrived touting a new swing as if Porter was not being told what to do and had any choice in the matter as to who played.

“He (Porter) also couldn’t fail to provide someone like J.D. Martinez enough at-bats for the organization to make an informed decision about him.” (Astroball, page 143)

Are they seriously saying that Porter did not have it hammered into his head what the front office wanted and which players were to be given a closer look; that he was not an implementer of front office mandate with little-to-no actual say-so?

The above quote is one of many in the book that provide a between-the-lines elucidation of what the entire goal of the book is: to tie all the loose ends from that 2014 prediction to the prediction coming to pass, objective truth be damned.

Porter’s firing, rather than being due to the clear insubordination and an attempt to go over Luhnow’s head to Crane regarding how the team was being run, was mystically transformed into a preplanned decision.

Porter and numerous veteran players had an issue with former first overall draft pick Mark Appel being brought to Minute Maid Park for a bullpen session with pitching coach Brent Strom to see if they could fix what ailed him. (They couldn’t.) It was then that Porter and Luhnow were at an impasse and Luhnow was right to fire him. But part of the “process”? After Porter’s hiring when Luhnow made the preposterous statement that he might manage the team for two decades? How does that work? How is this explained away other than it being ignored?

It’s these and many other subtle and not-so subtle twisting of reality that call the entire book and its contents into question on a scale of ludicrousness and goal-setting to cast the Astros in the best possible light, all stemming from that silly prediction from 2014 when it was an act comparable to casually throwing a basketball over one’s shoulder with eyes closed and somehow hitting nothing but net.

One cannot discuss “Astroball” (the figurative New Testament for the reliance on statistics in baseball) without mentioning the Old Testament, “Moneyball”.

“Moneyball” gets a passing mention as the text that kicked open the door for baseball outsiders with ideas that were once considered radical and antagonistic to baseball’s ingrained conventional orthodoxy, but the two stories are intertwined like conjoined twins for whom separation would mean unavoidable death.

Reiter takes clear steps to avoid the same mistakes Michael Lewis made in “Moneyball”. Instead of it being an overt baseball civil war where the storyline was old vs. new and Billy Beane sought to eliminate the antiquated, Luhnow is portrayed as integrating the old guard and formulating strategies to quantify their assessments.

Whereas “Moneyball” took the MLB draft and turned Beane into a “card counter”, “Astroball” acknowledges nuance and luck in the draft.

While ““Moneyball”” treats the postseason as an uncontrollable crapshoot, “Astroball” implies the same thing without trying to eliminate any responsibility for continually losing as the Athletics have done repeatedly.

“Astroball” does its best to inclusive, albeit in a borderline condescending way, while “Moneyball” sought to toss anyone not on the train under it and then, for good measure, backed over them to make sure they were dead.

To that end, “Astroball” is somehow more disingenuous than “Moneyball”. “Moneyball” is how the old-schoolers are truly viewed in the new-age, sabermetric circles while their extinction is pursued opaquely in “Astroball”, making it easier for them to carry it out.

Those invested in the story being considered true will not give an honest review, nor will they ask the questions as to why certain facts were omitted even if they know the answers.

With that, the narrative of the Astros and their rise under Luhnow and Crane presented in “Astroball” is complete and a vast portion of readers and observers will believe every single word of it just as they did with “Moneyball”. They get their validation. And it’s irrelevant whether that validation was the entire point, as it clearly was.

Discarding facts from the past aside, the Osuna acquisition drops an inconvenient bomb right in the middle of their glorification. It’s that wart that shows who the Astros really are. If they just admitted it, they would deserve grudging respect. They claim to care about a player’s conduct and give hedging statements as to “zero tolerance” with that “zero” only existing when he’s an Astros employee. In short, they don’t care about Osuna’s alleged domestic assault just as they didn’t care about Aiken; they didn’t care about Porter; they didn’t care about Martinez; they didn’t care about any of the people who were callously discarded because they did not fit into the tightening circle of those who believe what they believe or will agree to subvert their own preferences as a matter of survival in a world they neither know nor understand.

For those who have a general idea of what is truly happening in baseball front offices and do not take these tall tales at face value, the book is entertaining enough in a televised biopic sort of way as long the creative nonfictional aspect is placed into its proper context. That context goes right back to the 2014 “prediction” that would have been largely ignored had it not happened to come true.

[foursprout-blog]

20 Things 20-Somethings Should Do Right Now To Build A Life That Feels Good

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/20-things-20-somethings-should-do-right-now-to-build-a-life-that-feels-good/

20 Things 20-Somethings Should Do Right Now To Build A Life That Feels Good

Twenty20/ @meganmeza

1. Make a budget. Calculate all your expenses. Subtract the total from your net income. Use the remainder to cushion your emergency fund, retirement savings, and your short-term goals (vacation, new car, wedding, etc.).

2. Pay down your debt. I don’t care how low the interest rate is or what kind of debt it is — debt is debt. Stop justifying why you’re only putting down the minimum payment. This is stopping you from taking risks in your career, exploring your interests/hobbies, and essentially everything else that you want to do with your life. Your future self deserves a life free of financial anxiety. Please, for the love of god, create a swift debt-repayment plan and implement it now.

3. Unplug. The Internet is a wonderful place (you’re reading this right now!), but it’s important to know its role in your life. Establish boundaries. Read a physical book. Take a walk in nature. Host a night of board games with your friends. Write in a physical journal. Set aside some time every day to shut down the laptop, put away your phone and tuck away your tablet.

4. Slow down. A consequence of being part of a digital era, we feel the pressure to do something all the time. We have to be the all-star at work. We have to update our social media. We have to have an immaculate home. We have to look our best 24/7. Just say no. Sooner rather than later you’ll burn out and crash. Let some things fall to the wayside — intentionally.

5. Develop habits, not goals. Happiness is a byproduct of progress, not achievement. The problem with goals is that it’s a constant treadmill — you accomplish one, you set your sights on another. It’s much more fulfilling to concentrate on developing daily habits & routines. For example, waking up early, exercising each day, or bringing your lunch to work 4 out of the 5 days of the week. Sooner than later, these habits will become ingrained and you’ll be living a happier and healthier lifestyle.

6. Learn to live with people you dislike. I don’t mean live in a literal sense — I mean not losing your shit when you encounter sexist, racist, homophobic or just, in general, rude, ungrateful or ignorant people. This has been the most difficult things that I have had to work on. I’m a minority at about three intersections (a woman of colour who is queer), so quite understandably I get a little sensitive when someone says something ignorant about one of the communities of which I, in some part, belong to. But… these people will populate society until I die. I learned that it’s okay to not get along with everyone. I don’t need to waste my time trying to change their mind.

7. Experiment, take risks, and make plenty of mistakes. Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to experiment. We are the sum of our experiences — so experience as much as possible. Make mistakes, learn from them, and then go on and make different ones. I don’t mean this to insinuate that you should get all the mistakes out of your system while you’re young, because you’ll certainly make mistakes when you’re older. I mean take bold actions now so you can learn more about yourself in the process.

8. Pursue your hobbies. How many times have you told someone, “I would love to take a class on [x],” or, “This sports league looks great,” but never actually followed-through on signing up? Or decided that it’s not worth your money? Or even worse, determine that you have no one to go with and don’t want to do it alone? We don’t take our interests seriously — to our detriment. It’s as if we would rather sit at home instead mind-numbingly scrolling through social media or going out drinking with our friends, as if we don’t do that enough. Don’t get bogged down by the details of the thing. Just explore what you like, make new friends, and see where it leads. You’ll be a happier and more fulfilled person because of it.

9. Read books, not just blogs and articles. I’ve mentioned before that I consider reading a duty. No, it’s not because it’ll help you succeed in school or in your career, although it greatly increases your odds, but because you’ll be a better person for it. There is a literally a book out there to help you understand and process every single emotion you have ever felt and will ever feel in your life. Books help you become a more nuanced and thoughtful person. Books humble you. Books validate you. Books challenge you. Books grow you. Books save you from making perilous mistakes. Books accompany you when you’re feeling alienated and misunderstood.

10. Accept that progress is not linear, especially in your career. We have this unhealthy misconception that our career trajectory goes something like this: attend school → secure entry-level job → put in work for 1 – 3 years → receive steady promotions → end up in upper management. In reality, it looks more like this: school → take a break → work a low-wage job → return to school → work another low-wage job → quit to work at another low-wage job → question all your life choices → pick up a few side-hustles → get promoted at work → catch a lucky break → start earning a decent income doing what you love.

11. Learn how to be present. Seriously. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “The past is obsolete and the future is pending. You may attach yourself to these concepts, they are just figments of your imagination. It is a false comfort you get from them. Learn to be comforted and even astounded at what you have right now, and how beautiful it is.” Appreciate what it means to be alive now, not what it will mean to be alive in five years from now. Social media throws out all these qualifiers for happiness: You just need to be debt free and then you will be happy. You just have to buy this shirt and you will effortlessly cool and then you will be happy. You just need to wake up at 5:00 a.m. every morning and be productive as f*ck and you will be happy. You don’t need to do any of these things in order to appreciate all the wonderful things in your life that you have already. That’s not being unambitious. That’s pragmatic gratitude.

12. Take things slow. Life is (usually) much longer than you think. Not everything requires your immediate attention. You don’t need to cross things off your To Do List as fast as possible. You don’t need to overwork yourself to chase a promotion that you want to receive by some arbitrary deadline you set for yourself. Relax. Take a deep breath. Take time to meander, laze around, and, most importantly, think! Decide to take the long way home. Explore a new neighbourhood in your city. Spend an entire evening watching terrible reality tv (yes, you can watch tv). Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the journey of your becoming. As Seneca famously said, “Life, if well lived, is long enough.”

13. Stop talking about what you’re going to do and just do it. With the rise of social media, we run into the problem of putting the cart before the horse; talking the talk before walking the walk. We need to stop doing that. As I start new projects, whether it’s practicing law or pursuing my writing, I have to constantly remind myself that it’s much better to just work on things privately and release it when it’s done. Have the results speak for itself.

14. Evaluate where your sources of information comes from. We think we understand a particular issue or topic because we read a few articles about it from a newspaper, online publication or, perhaps more accurately, a blogger or writer we enjoy. But instead of just taking their word for it, we need to take a step back and see what biases, perspectives or political leanings that the source has. I’m not saying that it’s terrible to receive information from sources that align with your opinions or perspectives, I’m simply stating that we need to recognize that.

15. Construct the environment you need in order to facilitate “deep work.” Do you work best at home? Or do you enjoy working alongside other creatives in a co-working space? Do you listen to music while you work? Or can you only think when it’s absolutely silent? Determine what’s the most optimal setting for you to do your best work.

16. Don’t live for today. Live for tomorrow. And the week after that. And the month after that. For some reason, we experience dissonance from our future selves; we can’t connect with who we will be in 10 years. That’s why we have no problem eating tons of junk food, going for long periods of time without exercising, and impulsively buying ephemeral pleasures instead of contributing to our retirement savings. If we stay on this path, our future self is going to hate us. Start creating habits that will help ourselves out in a year, 5 years, 10 years from now. It’s not self-restraint. It’s self-discipline.

17. Ensure your actions sync up with your words. The people whose opinions you value don’t care about how much you make, what you wear, or what car is parked in your garage. People care about your character, the respect you give to others, and the commitments you make and keep. Build a reputation on being someone of integrity and principles.

18. Stop saying what people want to hear. If you’re honest, and you have some evidence to back up your position, people will respect you much more than simply being a mouthpiece for their pre-existing beliefs. Sucking up to people, whether it’s a boss or an influencer, does no one a favour. Be willing to be critical, when the situation calls for it, and hold firm on your beliefs. Good decisions, or the journey towards making decisions, are never based on “yes men (or women).” Have the courage to stand out, if you really do have a valid and unique contribution to make. People might disagree on the merits of the opinion, but they will respect you.

19. Be unabashedly ambitious about the real things. If your definition of a good life is to live out of a camper and drive across the country for the rest of your life, then be stubbornly unwavering about it. Do what it takes to get there. Hey, it may not be my idea of a good time, but at least it’s a more purposeful goal than just earning a certain level of income to buy status symbols.

20. Ask yourself the hard questions. Underneath the expensive clothes, accessories, and home — who are you really? What do you stand for? What will you defend? What matters to you? What makes up your ideal day? Who do you want to surround yourself with? What do you want to achieve? What gifts can you contribute to the world? Answer the tough questions, before someone else answers them for you.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

20 Things 20-Somethings Should Do Right Now To Build A Life That Feels Good

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/20-things-20-somethings-should-do-right-now-to-build-a-life-that-feels-good-2/

20 Things 20-Somethings Should Do Right Now To Build A Life That Feels Good

Twenty20/ @meganmeza

1. Make a budget. Calculate all your expenses. Subtract the total from your net income. Use the remainder to cushion your emergency fund, retirement savings, and your short-term goals (vacation, new car, wedding, etc.).

2. Pay down your debt. I don’t care how low the interest rate is or what kind of debt it is — debt is debt. Stop justifying why you’re only putting down the minimum payment. This is stopping you from taking risks in your career, exploring your interests/hobbies, and essentially everything else that you want to do with your life. Your future self deserves a life free of financial anxiety. Please, for the love of god, create a swift debt-repayment plan and implement it now.

3. Unplug. The Internet is a wonderful place (you’re reading this right now!), but it’s important to know its role in your life. Establish boundaries. Read a physical book. Take a walk in nature. Host a night of board games with your friends. Write in a physical journal. Set aside some time every day to shut down the laptop, put away your phone and tuck away your tablet.

4. Slow down. A consequence of being part of a digital era, we feel the pressure to do something all the time. We have to be the all-star at work. We have to update our social media. We have to have an immaculate home. We have to look our best 24/7. Just say no. Sooner rather than later you’ll burn out and crash. Let some things fall to the wayside — intentionally.

5. Develop habits, not goals. Happiness is a byproduct of progress, not achievement. The problem with goals is that it’s a constant treadmill — you accomplish one, you set your sights on another. It’s much more fulfilling to concentrate on developing daily habits & routines. For example, waking up early, exercising each day, or bringing your lunch to work 4 out of the 5 days of the week. Sooner than later, these habits will become ingrained and you’ll be living a happier and healthier lifestyle.

6. Learn to live with people you dislike. I don’t mean live in a literal sense — I mean not losing your shit when you encounter sexist, racist, homophobic or just, in general, rude, ungrateful or ignorant people. This has been the most difficult things that I have had to work on. I’m a minority at about three intersections (a woman of colour who is queer), so quite understandably I get a little sensitive when someone says something ignorant about one of the communities of which I, in some part, belong to. But… these people will populate society until I die. I learned that it’s okay to not get along with everyone. I don’t need to waste my time trying to change their mind.

7. Experiment, take risks, and make plenty of mistakes. Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to experiment. We are the sum of our experiences — so experience as much as possible. Make mistakes, learn from them, and then go on and make different ones. I don’t mean this to insinuate that you should get all the mistakes out of your system while you’re young, because you’ll certainly make mistakes when you’re older. I mean take bold actions now so you can learn more about yourself in the process.

8. Pursue your hobbies. How many times have you told someone, “I would love to take a class on [x],” or, “This sports league looks great,” but never actually followed-through on signing up? Or decided that it’s not worth your money? Or even worse, determine that you have no one to go with and don’t want to do it alone? We don’t take our interests seriously — to our detriment. It’s as if we would rather sit at home instead mind-numbingly scrolling through social media or going out drinking with our friends, as if we don’t do that enough. Don’t get bogged down by the details of the thing. Just explore what you like, make new friends, and see where it leads. You’ll be a happier and more fulfilled person because of it.

9. Read books, not just blogs and articles. I’ve mentioned before that I consider reading a duty. No, it’s not because it’ll help you succeed in school or in your career, although it greatly increases your odds, but because you’ll be a better person for it. There is a literally a book out there to help you understand and process every single emotion you have ever felt and will ever feel in your life. Books help you become a more nuanced and thoughtful person. Books humble you. Books validate you. Books challenge you. Books grow you. Books save you from making perilous mistakes. Books accompany you when you’re feeling alienated and misunderstood.

10. Accept that progress is not linear, especially in your career. We have this unhealthy misconception that our career trajectory goes something like this: attend school → secure entry-level job → put in work for 1 – 3 years → receive steady promotions → end up in upper management. In reality, it looks more like this: school → take a break → work a low-wage job → return to school → work another low-wage job → quit to work at another low-wage job → question all your life choices → pick up a few side-hustles → get promoted at work → catch a lucky break → start earning a decent income doing what you love.

11. Learn how to be present. Seriously. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “The past is obsolete and the future is pending. You may attach yourself to these concepts, they are just figments of your imagination. It is a false comfort you get from them. Learn to be comforted and even astounded at what you have right now, and how beautiful it is.” Appreciate what it means to be alive now, not what it will mean to be alive in five years from now. Social media throws out all these qualifiers for happiness: You just need to be debt free and then you will be happy. You just have to buy this shirt and you will effortlessly cool and then you will be happy. You just need to wake up at 5:00 a.m. every morning and be productive as f*ck and you will be happy. You don’t need to do any of these things in order to appreciate all the wonderful things in your life that you have already. That’s not being unambitious. That’s pragmatic gratitude.

12. Take things slow. Life is (usually) much longer than you think. Not everything requires your immediate attention. You don’t need to cross things off your To Do List as fast as possible. You don’t need to overwork yourself to chase a promotion that you want to receive by some arbitrary deadline you set for yourself. Relax. Take a deep breath. Take time to meander, laze around, and, most importantly, think! Decide to take the long way home. Explore a new neighbourhood in your city. Spend an entire evening watching terrible reality tv (yes, you can watch tv). Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the journey of your becoming. As Seneca famously said, “Life, if well lived, is long enough.”

13. Stop talking about what you’re going to do and just do it. With the rise of social media, we run into the problem of putting the cart before the horse; talking the talk before walking the walk. We need to stop doing that. As I start new projects, whether it’s practicing law or pursuing my writing, I have to constantly remind myself that it’s much better to just work on things privately and release it when it’s done. Have the results speak for itself.

14. Evaluate where your sources of information comes from. We think we understand a particular issue or topic because we read a few articles about it from a newspaper, online publication or, perhaps more accurately, a blogger or writer we enjoy. But instead of just taking their word for it, we need to take a step back and see what biases, perspectives or political leanings that the source has. I’m not saying that it’s terrible to receive information from sources that align with your opinions or perspectives, I’m simply stating that we need to recognize that.

15. Construct the environment you need in order to facilitate “deep work.” Do you work best at home? Or do you enjoy working alongside other creatives in a co-working space? Do you listen to music while you work? Or can you only think when it’s absolutely silent? Determine what’s the most optimal setting for you to do your best work.

16. Don’t live for today. Live for tomorrow. And the week after that. And the month after that. For some reason, we experience dissonance from our future selves; we can’t connect with who we will be in 10 years. That’s why we have no problem eating tons of junk food, going for long periods of time without exercising, and impulsively buying ephemeral pleasures instead of contributing to our retirement savings. If we stay on this path, our future self is going to hate us. Start creating habits that will help ourselves out in a year, 5 years, 10 years from now. It’s not self-restraint. It’s self-discipline.

17. Ensure your actions sync up with your words. The people whose opinions you value don’t care about how much you make, what you wear, or what car is parked in your garage. People care about your character, the respect you give to others, and the commitments you make and keep. Build a reputation on being someone of integrity and principles.

18. Stop saying what people want to hear. If you’re honest, and you have some evidence to back up your position, people will respect you much more than simply being a mouthpiece for their pre-existing beliefs. Sucking up to people, whether it’s a boss or an influencer, does no one a favour. Be willing to be critical, when the situation calls for it, and hold firm on your beliefs. Good decisions, or the journey towards making decisions, are never based on “yes men (or women).” Have the courage to stand out, if you really do have a valid and unique contribution to make. People might disagree on the merits of the opinion, but they will respect you.

19. Be unabashedly ambitious about the real things. If your definition of a good life is to live out of a camper and drive across the country for the rest of your life, then be stubbornly unwavering about it. Do what it takes to get there. Hey, it may not be my idea of a good time, but at least it’s a more purposeful goal than just earning a certain level of income to buy status symbols.

20. Ask yourself the hard questions. Underneath the expensive clothes, accessories, and home — who are you really? What do you stand for? What will you defend? What matters to you? What makes up your ideal day? Who do you want to surround yourself with? What do you want to achieve? What gifts can you contribute to the world? Answer the tough questions, before someone else answers them for you.