#AND THE WAY HE DOESNT TECHNICALLY LIE TO THE MAN LIKE HE TOLD THE TRUTH BUT ITS MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT

[itendtothinkalot]

a little secret romance trope

Summary: reader and beomgyu try their very best to keep their relationship under the wraps...but it doesnt help their friends have no boundaries

Genre: fluffy

Characters: beomgyu x f!reader

Words: 6360

Completed (oneshot)

Beomgyu and you had been secretly dating for six months, a fact you managed to keep hidden from your friend group with surprising success. On the outside, you seemed like a duo that would have never made sense—a bubbly, outgoing, dashing young man and an introverted homebody who only left her house when food was offered.

Your covert glances and stolen moments of affection added a thrilling layer to your otherwise routine meetups. As Beomgyu cracked jokes and you rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, in truth, you were a little surprised that none of your friends suspected the lingering touches.

You both had to admit, sneaking around was getting exhausting, especially when your friends were the nosiest group of people. Though, you weren’t going to lie, you did enjoy the thrill of a swift kiss when no one’s looking or a quick sneaky squeeze of the thigh.

—-

"Just some coffee. To go. Thanks," you ordered.

Yeonjun smiled, "Got it."

The six of you were always at the café Yeonjun had opened. It was a little unconventional for  your friends to consistently hang out at the café, but it was a place to unwind if nothing else. The warm, rustic atmosphere, with its wooden beams and soft lighting, created a cozy backdrop for your gatherings. 

"Where’s Kai? I thought he started working here?" you asked, looking around for your tall, goofy friend.

"I don’t know." Yeonjun sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It’s fine. We’re technically fully staffed anyway. Tsk, didn’t need him one bit."

"Right," you nodded weirdly, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Where ya going? You’re not gonna stay around a little longer? Soobin and Taehyun are supposed to get off work soon. They’re coming right over."

"Not today. I kind of have to visit my mom," you lied, shifting on your feet.

"Isn’t your mom on a cruise with your dad?"

"No. No. Sorry, I’m a bit muddle headed today. Not my mom, my aunt. I’m visiting my aunt."

"Okay…?" Yeonjun looked at you slightly suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.

Just as you were about to respond, the café door chimed, and Beomgyu walked in, his presence instantly lighting up the room. His eyes met yours briefly, a flicker of warmth passing between you. He made his way to the counter, leaning casually against it as he ordered his usual drink. You couldn't help but steal glances at him, your heart racing with the thrill of your secret.

Yeonjun handed you your coffee, still eyeing you with mild curiosity. "Well, say hi to your aunt for me," he said, a hint of teasing in his voice.

"Will do," you replied, forcing a smile.

"Well, I gotta go too," Beomgyu cleared his throat and stood up, his movements a bit too hurried to seem casual.

"But, you just got here," Yeonjun tilted his head, confused.

"Yeah, I forgot, I have stuff to do. Y’know how uni is," Beomgyu chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow but didn't press further. "Alright, see you later then."

Beomgyu flashed a quick smile before making his way to the door, and you followed a few moments later, making sure not to draw any more attention to yourselves. Outside, the bustling city sounds provided a stark contrast to the café's cozy ambiance. The evening sun cast a warm glow over the streets, making the pavement shimmer.

Beomgyu waited for you around the corner, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. When you approached, he grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief before pulling you in for a tight bear hug. "Nice save back there."

"It was, until you showed up. I told you to wait outside," you chided playfully, pulling away from his embrace.

"It was hot!" Beomgyu whined, pouting slightly.

"You're an idiot," you rolled your eyes and placed your hands in his. "C'mon. Let's go."

"My place? The boys are all out so we get the whole place to ourselves, if you know what I mean," Beomgyu suggested, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

You laughed, shaking your head at his antics. "Sure thing, handsome, lead the way."

Beomgyu's apartment was just a short walk away, nestled in a cozy neighborhood filled with tree-lined streets and charming old buildings. When you arrived at his place, Beomgyu unlocked the door and ushered you inside. The apartment was comfortably messy, filled with the signs of everyday life—a guitar propped against the wall, books and magazines scattered on the coffee table, and a few jackets thrown over the back of the couch. 

"Beomgyu?" Kai's voice interrupted your thoughts.

"Kai? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the café?" Beomgyu asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"Yeah, but like…it’s a Saturday and I just…I’m tired, man." Kai sighed, plopping down onto the couch with a sigh.

"You started yesterday," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"I’ll have you kn—wait a minute, what the hell are you doing here?" Kai questioned, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"I... came to help Beomgyu with his thesis?" you replied, trying to sound convincing.

"You took a 30 minute train ride just to help Beomgyu with his thesis? That’s some kind of weird dedication you have," Kai said, though his tone suggested he wasn't entirely convinced. "Whatever. Just don’t tell Yeonjun that I’m here."

"Your secret's safe with us," Beomgyu said, giving Kai a reassuring pat on the back. "But you owe me one for covering for you."

Kai rolled his eyes but smiled. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Thanks, man."

As Kai settled in, Beomgyu glanced at you with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. The unexpected interruption had thrown a wrench into your plans, but you couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Beomgyu shrugged.

"You want something to drink?" Beomgyu offered, heading to the kitchen.

"Sure," you replied, sinking into the couch next to Kai. "So, what's your plan for the rest of the day?"

"Honestly? Just chilling," Kai said, stretching his arms over his head. "Might as well enjoy my day off, right?"

"Right," you agreed, glancing towards the kitchen where Beomgyu was rummaging through the fridge.

“So should we head upstairs?” Beomgyu asked, his voice carrying a hint of suggestion.

“Upstairs? Why can’t the two of you just do it here? I’m bored. Maybe I can help!” Kai interjected enthusiastically, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

“If you’re bored, go to work.” Beomgyu deadpanned.

“I’m bored but not that bored.” 

“Oh... uh...besides, it’s more of a...” You stuttered, trying to think of an excuse while shooting a panicked glance at Beomgyu.

Beomgyu grinned, his eyes glinting with mischief as he decided to play along. "Actually, Kai, it’s about my thesis on the history of plumbing regulations in pre-modern Europe. Pretty dry stuff, you know?”

Kai’s grin faded instantly, replaced by a look of confusion mixed with disbelief. “Plumbing regulations? Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu nodded seriously, his expression deadpan. “I have to analyze the impact of sanitation policies on urban development during the Middle Ages. It’s actually pretty interesting. If you want, you can help me read some of th-”

“Blah blah blah. Y’know what, I’ll go and find Taehyun at work. Maybe ruin his lunch time. That’ll teach him to work on a Saturday.” Kai blinked, clearly taken aback by the unexpected subject matter.

“Sure.” Beomgyu cleared his throat, opening the door for Kai.

As soon as Kai left, you looked over to Beomgyu. 

“Plumbing regulations?” you managed to say between giggles.

“It was the first thing I thought of,” Beomgyu chuckled, shaking his head.

“Plumbing regulations,” you repeated, still laughing. “I can’t believe he bought that.”

“Hey, it worked,” Beomgyu grinned, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “Sometimes you just gotta improvise.”

 The two of you looked at each other, sharing one last chuckle before Beomgyu stepped closer to you.

“Alright, so about that alone time,” Beomgyu winked, “What should we do now?”

“Maybe we can actually get some work done on that thesis you were complaining to me about last night,” you suggested teasingly, earning a groan from Beomgyu.

“Baby, I was joking.” Beomgyu sighed.

“The reminders on your phone screen say otherwise. You have like 10 things on your to-do list. I’m here to finish at least some of them with you.”

“You’re on my to-do list,” he teased, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

“I’ll drop kick you,” you retorted, playfully rolling your eyes.

Beomgyu laughed, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “Alright, alright. Let’s see what we can knock off the list then.”

—-

“Who the fuck are you texting? You’ve been giggling and kicking your feet like a little girl,” Soobin nudged Beomgyu, who had an idiotic grin on his face.

The two of you had been texting cute, lovey-dovey messages to each other all evening, unknowingly irritating Soobin.

“Yeah, who are you texting?” you chimed in, trying to ease his suspicions.

“Your goofy smile is making me lose my focus,” Soobin muttered, his eyes darting between his laptop and Beomgyu.

“No one. It’s just Yeonjun,” Beomgyu lied, trying to maintain a straight face.

Soobin squinted suspiciously. “Yeonjun? He’s not that funny.”

“That’s because you don’t know his hilarious side,” Beomgyu retorted, trying to sound convincing.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Yeah! Maybe Yeonjun's just gotten funnier without us realizing it. He made a joke once about pickles. I laughed.”

Soobin raised an eyebrow but decided to drop the subject, returning his attention to his work. “Oh, yeah, sure, and Beomgyu got less annoying. Some things aren’t meant to be.”

The atmosphere in the room lightened as the conversation shifted. You and Beomgyu exchanged a quick, knowing glance, both of you relieved that Soobin hadn’t caught on. Beomgyu’s phone buzzed again, and he quickly typed a reply, a small smile playing on his lips.

—

“Does anyone think Beomgyu has been super weird recently?” Taehyun brought up, voicing a concern that had been quietly nagging at him.

“What d’ya mean?” you asked, feeling a knot of worry forming in your stomach.

Beomgyu had excused himself to the toilet, leaving the five of you to speculate on what might be going on with your secret boyfriend. Soobin glanced around the table, his brow furrowed in thought.

“Yeah, now that you mention it,” Soobin mused, leaning back in his chair. “He’s been more distracted lately. And secretive. It’s like he’s hiding something from us.”

“Which is weird, since he’s usually an open book,” Kai chimed in, fidgeting with his phone. 

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, his expression thoughtful. “Y’know what, I noticed he’s been on his phone a lot more, too. And he’s been disappearing randomly. He’d go out at weird timings like at 2am.”

“He’s probably just stressed with uni stuff,” you offered, trying to brush off your own concerns. 

“Maybe,” Taehyun nodded slowly, but the worry in his eyes was evident. “I just hope everything’s okay with him.”

“What about you? Have you noticed anything?” Taehyun nudged you, sensing your unease.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Uh, not that I know of. We haven’t been hanging out lately.” It was a lie, a really bad one. You felt almost guilty lying this much to your closest friends. 

“Well... this is just between us, but…” Yeonjun whispered, leaning closer. “Last night, I heard him on the phone. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but he was kinda loud about it so I just listened.”

“So you were eavesdropping,” Soobin teased, narrowing his eyes playfully.

“Eh,” Yeonjun smirked. “I heard him on the phone, talking to someone. A girl. I couldn’t hear her voice very clearly, but it was a girl. They were giggling and Beomgyu was saying stuff like ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’ or ‘Wear that dress I like.’”

The revelation hit the group like a bombshell. Soobin's eyes widened as he exchanged glances with the others. “A girl?” he echoed, clearly perplexed. “But... why would Beomgyu hide something like that from us?”

“It could be nothing,” you interjected quickly, trying to ease the tension. “Maybe it’s just a friend or something.”

Kai crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Would you say something like that to any of us?” he asked, matter-of-factly.

You shrugged, shaking your head.

The room fell silent as everyone pondered Kai’s question. The revelation seemed to hang in the air, creating an unspoken pressure that made your heart race even faster. You could feel the weight of their gazes as they waited for someone to break the silence.

“Who do you think it is?” Soobin asked, his curiosity piqued.

“I don’t know,” Yeonjun admitted with a shrug.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Kai snapped his fingers suddenly. “It could be the girl from his uni. The pretty one he brought home a few weeks back to do their group project? Do you think it’s her?”

“He brought a girl home?” you asked, feeling a mix of jealousy and curiosity.

“Yeah,” Kai nodded eagerly. “Remember? He said they were working on some big project together. She’s cute, too. Maybe things went beyond just studying.”

Soobin raised an eyebrow. “And he didn’t tell us?”

“Maybe he didn’t want to jinx it,” Kai suggested with a grin.

Taehyun shook his head, looking concerned. “But why hide it? We’re his friends.”

“Well, maybe it’s still early days,” you reasoned, trying to make sense of the situation. 

“So what do we do?” Soobin asked, glancing around the table.

“We wait,” Yeonjun said, leaning back in his chair. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. If there’s something going on, Beomgyu will tell us when he’s ready.”

“Hey, whatchu guys yapping about today?” Beomgyu said, returning to his seat.

“Football.” The gang says in unison.

—-

“The guys think you’re dating your uni friend,” you blurted out.

Beomgyu’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

“They heard you on the phone with me,” you continued, trying to explain quickly. “Yeonjun overheard you talking to someone and they jumped to conclusions.”

Beomgyu’s expression shifted from surprise to a mixture of confusion and concern. “Oh shit! Do they know it’s you?”

“They think it's the girl from your group project,” you added, feeling a pang of uncertainty. “They think... maybe something’s going on between you two.”

“Well, that should give us enough cover.” Beomgyu shrugged, chuckling.

“Yeah but…they’re picturing you with another girl and there’s something unsettling about that.” You sighed.

“W-wait a minute. Are you jealous?” Beomgyu sang teasingly, a playful grin spreading across his face.

You blinked, caught off guard by his teasing tone. “Maybe a little,” you admitted, feeling a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Should we break the news to them so my baby doesn’t get any more jealous than she already is?” Beomgyu teased.

“I don’t know,” you replied honestly, weighing your thoughts. “I considered telling them on the spot so they’d stop thinking it was someone else, but I also like keeping our relationship a little secret. It’s been fun sneaking around and hiding, but it’s also been really tiring to keep it from them.”

Beomgyu’s expression softened, his teasing demeanour giving way to a more serious look. “I get it. It hasn’t been easy for either of us. Look, we'll give it another month. Another month of it just being us. And then we’ll tell the guys.” 

—-

Taehyun sighed, throwing his bags on the floor. Another shitty day at work. He plopped down on the couch, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle into his bones. Grabbing the TV remote, he turned on a podcast he had subscribed to, hoping to unwind and distract himself.

As the podcast played, Taehyun's mood lightened slightly. The hosts were discussing a recent viral video, and the laughter in their voices was infectious. Curious, Taehyun searched for the video on his phone. 

Still grinning, Taehyun picked up the home phone to call Huening Kai, knowing his friend would appreciate the video. As he dialled the number, he heard a soft click on the line, indicating someone was already on the phone.

Pausing, Taehyun listened and quickly realized it was Beomgyu and you talking. His curiosity piqued, he couldn't help but eavesdrop.

“I missed you today,” Beomgyu’s voice came through, warm and affectionate.

“I missed you too,” you replied softly. “I just wanna say you looked good tonight.”

“Baby, you looked even better. I swear I almost tore your dre-”

“OH MY GOD.” Taehyun’s voice echoed through the phone, cutting off Beomgyu mid-sentence.

Beomgyu and you went silent on the other end, realizing Taehyun had overheard. Taehyun’s eyes widened in surprise, a mix of shock washing over him. He hastily put the phone off his ear, as if trying to physically distance himself from what he had just heard.

“OH MY GOD,” Taehyun repeated aloud, pacing nervously around the room.

Above, Beomgyu had been in the process of heading downstairs when he heard Taehyun's exclamation. Curiosity and concern drove him to rush down, taking the stairs two at a time until he reached his friend.

Before Taehyun could react further, Beomgyu leaped onto his back, surprising him completely. “Hey, give me that!” Beomgyu exclaimed, snatching the phone from Taehyun's hand.

Taehyun stumbled forward slightly under Beomgyu's sudden weight, but then turned to face him, wide-eyed. "THE TWO OF YOU…THE TWO OF YOU…"

Beomgyu's expression was a mix of panic and amusement as he glanced at the phone, then back at Taehyun. "I-I, uh, I…" he stammered, trying to come up with a plausible explanation.

Taehyun’s mind raced with questions and realization. “So, uh, are you two... like... a thing?” he asked cautiously, trying to process everything.

Beomgyu hesitated. Taking a deep breath, he nodded slowly. “Yeah, we are.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Beomgyu pleaded urgently, his eyes pleading with Taehyun to understand. “Taehyun, you don’t understand. It’s been going so well, but we’re not ready to go public. The six of us have been friends for almost a decade. It’ll be weird to let you in on our private lives as a couple so soon. We promise we’ll work things out and announce it when the time is right.”

Taehyun furrowed his brow, processing the sudden revelation and Beomgyu’s earnest plea. He glanced at Beomgyu, sensing the gravity of the situation. “Okay,” he said finally, nodding slowly. “I get it. It’s your call.”

—-

It was supposed to be a simple weekend getaway, a secret escape from the hectic schedules and prying eyes of your friends. Beomgyu had suggested it, claiming a need for some alone time to recharge, and you eagerly agreed, relishing the idea of a romantic adventure away from the usual hangouts.

The plan was meticulous—or so you thought. You and Beomgyu would pretend to attend different school events in the same area, using it as a cover for your getaway. The rest of your friends believed the story, never suspecting a thing as you both slipped away for a few days of blissful anonymity.

The weekend had been perfect—long walks on the beach, lazy mornings in cozy cafes, and evenings spent stargazing under a blanket of twinkling lights. But as all good things do, it came to an end, and you found yourselves back at the guys’ apartment, trying to blend back into your usual routine.

On the way up to the guys’ apartment, you met Kai, who was juggling several bags of groceries. His face lit up when he saw you, and he adjusted the bags to free up a hand for a quick wave.

“How was your school trip?” Kai asked, a genuine curiosity in his eyes.

“It was fun. The strangest thing happened,” you said, your voice tinged with excitement.

“What?” Kai tilted his head, intrigued.

“On the trip, I met our old friend, y’know, Jungwon? Yeah. He looks so different now.”

“Oh, shit, the one who fell into the pond? That Jungwon?” Kai laughed, the memory clearly vivid in his mind.

“Yeah!” You chuckled, sharing in the nostalgia. “Did you get his number?”

“Yeah, I did! I’ll text it to you later.”

The two of you walked over to the door, Kai fumbled with his keys for a moment, the bags making the task slightly challenging. Once inside, the warmth and familiar scent of the apartment greeted you.

“Hey, guys! Look who I found,” Kai called out, his voice echoing through the apartment as he set the groceries down on the kitchen counter.

Soobin glanced up from his laptop, raising an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh, hey! How was the trip?”

“Great!” You grinned. “I had like three workshops and all, but I wouldn’t wanna bore you with it.”

“What are the chances? You and Beomgyu having school trips at the same time? He just got home too,” Yeonjun chuckled.

“Hey, by the way, I saw your stories on Insta. Did you lose your sunglasses? The ones we just bought together?” Kai whined. “Bro, we were supposed to go to the beach with them next week.”

You nodded, sighing. “You don’t think I’m bummed? I’m the one who lost them!”

“Must suck to be you though,” Taehyun said with a smirk.

You glared at him. “Don’t be an ass.”

Soobin served you a plate of pancakes, the sweet aroma filling the room. “Here.”

You grinned, taking the plate. “Thanks!”

As you settled in, Beomgyu descended the stairs, making eye contact with you before smiling widely. “You look pretty,” he mouthed.

You smiled sweetly, quickly turning away to avoid any further suspicion. “Hey! You just got back from your trip?” Beomgyu asked, joining the conversation with a friendly smile.

You nodded. “Yep.”

“Anyway, now that you’re back, Beomgyu, can I please have my Switch back?” Kai begged, his tone light but earnest.

Beomgyu chuckled, reaching into his bag and pulling out the game console. “Yeah, yeah, here you go. I didn’t scratch it, promise.”

Kai snatched it up, relief evident on his face. “Thanks, man. I’ve been dying to play the new game I got.”

“So, how was your trip?” Soobin asked.

Beomgyu shrugged nonchalantly. “Pretty good. Lots of sightseeing and some downtime. Oh right! You wouldn’t guess who I saw!”

“Who?” Yeonjun asked.

“Jungwon!” Beomgyu exclaimed.

“The kid who fell in the pond?”

You shook your head, mouthing to Beomgyu to keep his mouth shut. Kai looked at the two of you, his eyes widening in realization.

“YOU!” he yelled, pointing at you.

“I HAVE SOUVENIRS FOR EVERYBODY! You first, Kai!” Beomgyu yelled, quickly pulling Kai upstairs. You followed suit, running after the two of them.

“What’s up with them?” Soobin said, his eyes still glued to his laptop.

“Beomgyu probably broke his Switch or something,” Yeonjun chuckled.

Upstairs, you caught up with Beomgyu and Kai in Beomgyu's room.

“Well, well, well… so the two of you have been playing us all this time…” Kai sneered, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

You and Beomgyu exchanged nervous glances. “What are you talking about?” Beomgyu asked, trying to play it cool.

Kai's eyes narrowed. “Don't play dumb. I saw the way you two were acting. You've been sneaking around behind our backs, haven’t you? How’s it possible the two of you met Jungwon then? Two different school events, with supposedly, two different locations.”

You sighed, realizing the jig was up. “Okay, fine. We were on a trip together, and we’ve been dating for a while now.”

“And you didn’t care to tell any of us!” Kai interrupted, his voice rising in frustration.

Beomgyu stepped forward, his expression earnest. “We weren’t sure how everyone would react. We wanted some time alone to figure things out.”

Kai's stern expression softened slightly before being replaced by a look of disgust. “I get it. We’ve been friends for almost ten years. It’ll be kind of weird to see the two of you kiss.”

You nodded, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “We wanted to. We really did but… I don’t know, we just got scared.”

Kai sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You do know we’ll be happy for you either way, right?”

Beomgyu sighed, “We know. We’ll tell everyone soon enough.”

“Promise?”

“Well, technically, it’s just Soobin and Yeonjun. Tae already knows.”

“BEFORE ME?!” Kai exclaimed, his voice a mix of shock and mock indignation.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction. “Yeah, it kind of just happened that way. We told him by accident. It’s a long story.”

Kai crossed his arms, pouting. “Fine, but you both owe me big time. And I better not find out anyone else knows before me.”

Beomgyu chuckled, relieved. “It’s just the two of you. We promise.”

“Also about that souvenir…” Kai started, his expression teasing.

“We actually didn’t get you anything,” Beomgyu admitted sheepishly.

“You need a little more than ‘please’ and ‘thank yous’ to keep my mouth shut,” Kai deadpanned, though a hint of amusement danced in his eyes.

With the tension eased, the three of you headed back downstairs. Kai proudly held up a new game console Beomgyu had originally bought for himself, showing it off to the others. “Look what Beomgyu got me!”

Beomgyu sighed, faking a smile. “Thanks for being such a great friend, man.”

“You’re very welcome,” Kai chuckled, a playful edge to his tone.

—

“Hey. I heard you know something I do.” Huening Kai grinned at Taehyun.

“What?” 

“C���mon. We both know tweedle dee and tweedle dum are dating, don’t we?” 

Taehyun nodded, “It’s been a little tiring to keep this secret. I wish they’d just tell the others already.”

“Well, that’s what I wanted to speak with you about. A little plan.”

Taehyun and Kai exchanged mischievous glances, a silent understanding passing between them as they hatched a plan.

“I’ve got an idea,” Kai whispered, leaning in closer to Taehyun. 

—

"Why am I doing this again?" Yeonjun muttered into his tiny earpiece, looking slightly perplexed as he adjusted his stance discreetly.

Yeonjun stood at the edge of the cafe, adjusting his earpiece nervously while keeping an eye on you and Beomgyu at a corner table. Taehyun and Kai sat nearby, exchanging secretive glances as they awaited the cue to set their plan in motion.

“You’re doing this because we need to get Beomgyu to admit he’s dating her,” Taehyun’s voice crackled through Yeonjun’s earpiece.

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, though a small grin played on his lips. “And why do I have to be the one flirting with her?”

“Because you’re the smoothest talker we’ve got,” Kai chimed in.

“And because Soobin’s at work.” Taehyun added with a hint of mischief.

Yeonjun sighed. “Fine, but if this backfires, I’m blaming both of you.”

As he approached your table, Yeonjun put on his most charming smile, a plan forming in his mind. He casually leaned against the back of an empty chair beside you, catching your attention with a friendly nod.

“Hey,” Yeonjun greeted smoothly, his eyes flickering mischievously towards Beomgyu. "What's up?"

Meanwhile, Taehyun and Kai watched from their table, barely containing their excitement as they waited.

“Hey?” You scratched your head, “What do you want?” 

Yeonjun chuckled softly, his demeanour relaxed yet subtly teasing. "Just thought I'd join the party," he replied casually, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he glanced at Beomgyu.

Taehyun and Kai exchanged quick glances, trying to suppress their grins as they observed the unfolding scene.

“Have I ever told you how pretty you looked in pink?” He nodded in your direction and gestured to your dress.

“No?” You frowned, “Are you okay? A-are you drunk? At 12? In the afternoon?”

Yeonjun chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah, just appreciating the finer things in life, like you, uh, fashion sense." He leaned casually against the table, his smile widening as he saw Beomgyu's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“My fashion sense?” You asked, an eyebrow raised.

Yeonjun's comment made you chuckle nervously, unsure of where this playful banter was leading. Meanwhile, Beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed slightly, a subtle flicker of jealousy crossing his features as he glanced between Yeonjun and you.

"Yeah, well, fashion appreciation aside," Beomgyu interjected casually, trying to mask his unease with a nonchalant tone, "aren’t you supposed to be working right now?"

Taehyun and Kai exchanged a knowing glance, detecting the hint of tension in Beomgyu's voice. They exchanged silent cues, silently egging Yeonjun on while watching Beomgyu's reaction with barely contained amusement.

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, playing along with a teasing grin. "Of course, I am. I just had to make my way over to compliment her style! You can't blame a guy for noticing good style especially on a pretty girl, can you?"

You glanced nervously at Beomgyu, sensing his slight discomfort but unsure how to defuse the situation. "Are you okay? Are you being threatened right now? Are there cameras?"

Taehyun leaned closer to Kai, whispering under his breath, " This might just work."

Kai nodded with a mischievous grin, fully enjoying the unfolding drama. He kept his eyes on Beomgyu, waiting to see how he would handle the unexpected attention directed at you by Yeonjun.

Yeonjun leaned in slightly closer, his smile widening as he maintained eye contact with you. "Maybe I should take some fashion tips from you sometime. You seem to have a knack for making even the simplest things look good."

Beomgyu's jaw tensed, his gaze narrowing at Yeonjun's playful flirting. He shifted in his seat, a subtle sign of his growing discomfort with the situation.

"You're laying it on pretty thick there, buddy," Beomgyu remarked, his voice betraying a hint of irritation beneath the playful tone.

Taehyun and Kai exchanged excited glances, barely containing their amusement as they watched Beomgyu's jealousy simmering just below the surface. They were about to witness the culmination of their plan when suddenly, the cafe door swung open.

"Soobin!" Kai blurted out, disappointment evident in his voice.

Soobin strode into the cafe, his gaze sweeping over the scene with a quizzical expression. "What's going on here? Why hasn’t anyone ordered anything?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he approached the table.

Soobin glanced between them, sensing the underlying tension but deciding not to press further. "Right, well, I'm starving. Anyone up to share some muffins with me?”

Kai and Taehyun sighed, their plan to coax Beomgyu into admitting his relationship with you temporarily thwarted by Soobin's timely interruption. 

—

“He was so flirting with you.” Beomgyu sighed.

"I think he was just teasing me," you tried to defend Yeonjun, although it did seem kind of weird that he acted like that out of nowhere..

Beomgyu shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his brows furrowing slightly. "Teasing, huh?" He muttered, his tone betraying a hint of disbelief. "Sure seemed like more than that."

You glanced at him, noting the tension in his expression. "I’m sure it’s not like that," you reassured him gently, reaching out to touch his arm. "Yeonjun's just being Yeonjun."

"I know, I know," Beomgyu replied, trying to mask his unease with a forced smile. "It's just... weird, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," you nodded sympathetically, withdrawing your hand. 

"Unless, they know about us and are just teasing us about it.”

"I doubt Taehyun and Kai would tell Yeonjun. Right?" you said, voicing your uncertainty.

Beomgyu's expression softened slightly as he considered your words. "Yeah, you're probably right. They wouldn't do that."

"So, let's not overthink it," you suggested, hoping to ease his worries. "We've been doing fine keeping it a little secret."

Beomgyu nodded, a small smile returning to his face. "I guess."

“Just a little while longer together. And we’ll tell them.” You said.

“As long as I have you all to myself.”

—-

"This is getting sort of ridiculous, no?" Beomgyu sighed, taking deep breaths. His brows furrowed in frustration, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Weren't you the one who suggested this?" You rolled your eyes, your grip on Beomgyu's shoulders tightening. You straddled his thighs, your body pressed intimately close in the cramped photobooth.

All you wanted was a little bit of light intimacy—a cute photoshoot session without being interrupted by your unsuspecting friends. Unfortunately, your friends, who were usually late, arrived earlier than expected.

"You said they'd be like 20 minutes late. They're 10 minutes early!" You whispered angrily, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart.

"I wasn't the one giving flirty glances, so technically this is your fault." Beomgyu turned to face you, a frown on his face. God, he was handsome. You couldn't even stay mad. He was perfect. Little did you know, Beomgyu was thinking the exact same thing.

The two of you spent a moment just looking at each other with loving eyes, the tension melting away. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch tender and reassuring. "We do need to figure out how we're gonna explain to them why we're in here."

"We could just say we were taking pictures while waiting for them."

"Yeonjun’s gonna ask for the photos. Should we show the ones where I have my tongue shoved down your throat or the one where you kiss my cheek?" Beomgyu spoke sarcastically, a playful glint in his eyes.

"I'm trying my best!" you huffed, frustration mixed with affection as you stared at him.

Beomgyu chuckled softly, his breath warm against your skin. "I know you are," he said, his tone gentle and understanding. He shifted slightly, causing the photobooth to creak under your combined weight. "Maybe we should just sneak out and pretend like nothing happened."

You nodded, the idea sounding more appealing by the second. But just as you were about to suggest it, you heard the unmistakable sound of Kai's voice, loud and clear right outside the booth.

"Hey, didn’t Beomgyu say they’ve both arrived?" Kai's voice was tinged with curiosity and confusion. You froze, your heart pounding even harder. 

“Maybe he’s over here!” Taehyun’s voice bellowed through the empty arcade.

Beomgyu quickly brought a finger to his lips, signalling you to stay quiet. He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Stay calm. We'll figure this out."

You nodded again, trying to steady your breathing. The photobooth felt even smaller now, the walls pressing in on you as you listened to the conversation outside.

"They told me they were here a minute ago," another voice chimed in. Taehyun, always the observant one. "Maybe they went to get some snacks or something."

"Or maybe they're in the photo booth," Kai suggested, his tone teasing. 

You exchanged a panicked glance with Beomgyu, both of you realizing that your hiding spot was about to be discovered. Without thinking, you pressed your lips to his, muffling the surprised sound he made. It was a desperate attempt to distract both of you from the impending confrontation.

The curtain to the photobooth suddenly flew open, and there stood Kai, the look of amusement on his face. "Well, well, well," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "What do we have here?"

Just then, Yeonjun grinned and slipped his arm across your shoulders, adding to the chaos. 

“Uh, just taking some photos.” You tried explaining.

"Can I have a picture with you next?" he teased.

Beomgyu shoved Yeonjun's arm off, a glare in his eyes. "In your dreams, grandpa."

Soobin, standing behind Kai, grinned as well. "So… what’s this all about?"

"It’s... uh…" Beomgyu stammered, clearly at a loss for words.

"We’re not dating," you managed to blurt out, your voice shaky with panic.

Kai raised an eyebrow, "Okay, and we’re supposed to believe you because... you’re straddled on his legs and when we opened the curtain, you were making out?" 

Taehyun added, teasing the two of you, "You’re not making any sense."

Kai was the first to break the silence, a slow grin spreading across his face. "Guys, cut the surprised looks, it’s as obvious as daylight. Taehyun and I can’t keep up with this anymore.”

Soobin gasped, “The two of you knew?!”

“Well, I do too.” Yeonjun smirked. 

“What?!”

“Did you really think I’d flirt with you so brazenly? That’s so not me.” Yeonjun explained.

“Wait. So I’m the only one who didn’t know?” Soobin sighed, “Sure, keep me in the dark. The only person who can keep secrets.”

“You told everyone I had a binky till 11. I told you that in confidence!” Kai retaliated.

Soobin chuckled, “Sorry, dude. I just had to tell someone.”

Beomgyu sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "Fine. We’re dating. We’ve been dating for like... six months now."

"Six months?!" the four exclaimed in unison, their eyes wide with shock.

"Right under our noses?" Kai whispered, more to himself than anyone else.

"Don’t tell me... all those times you were up in Gyu’s room helping him with his ‘thesis’," Yeonjun said, his face scrunching up in mock disgust.

The two of you nodded slowly. "Sometimes I was," you admitted, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Wait, so all those times Beomgyu was on the phone saying ‘I love you, pretty princess,’ that wasn’t for his mom?" Soobin gasped, his eyes wide with realization.

"You heard that?" Beomgyu's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink, embarrassment clear on his face.

Soobin nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I thought it was weird, but I didn’t want to say anything."

“Well, I’m happy for you guys-ish. I still hate that I was the last to find out.” Soobin sighed.

Beomgyu interjected with a sympathetic smile, patting Soobin's shoulder gently. "It wasn't intentional. We wanted to tell you guys, but we just wanted to make sure we were solid before making it public. We didn’t really want to risk messing up the dynamics of our friendship. And besides, Kai and Taehyun found out by accident."

“We get it. It’s fine," Soobin reassured them, his tone lighter. "If anything, we’re really glad it’s the two of you."

"Yeah and if it makes you feel better," you added, trying to lighten the mood. "You were the last to find out, but now you're first in line to grill us with questions about our relationship!"

Soobin chuckled, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Fair enough. So, spill it—how did this all start? And don't leave out any details!"

“This is…gonna take awhile, isn’t it?” Taehyun sighed, “I’ll go order the food.” 

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[ghosty-files]

after a 7 month wait, here it is! chapter 4 of Business as Usual

read it here on ao3

Walking back to Shane shouldn’t have felt like a mile long, but it did anyway. Sara’s words raced through Ryan’s head at the speed of light, each echoing throughout his mind like the first time he heard them. Shane couldn’t like him, right? They were bros, that was literally part of their branding for Christ’s sake! Ryan rubbed his eyes, and sat down at his desk.

Shane immediately turned his chair to face him, the swivel seeming far too playful for the current situation. “So,” he said. “What did Sara say?”

Ryan shrugged. “Not too much.” Lie. “Just told me to tell you that she still cares for you, and that she just needs some time to process.” Not a total lie. “Something about me having time to process and she didn’t.” The exact opposite of that statement is true.

Shane sighed, but Ryan couldn’t tell if it was relief or disappointment, or a strange mix of both. He nodded, staring off at Sara. “Well at least she doesn’t hate me.”

Ryan cracked a smile and patted Shane on the back. “There you go. Look at the bright side. She’ll come around, I know she will. Hell, she’s been with you for some time now, and demon or not, that doesn’t make all that go away. It just adds a new layer to your personality.”

Shane gave a small smile in return, before tensing up again. “Did you guys talk about anything else?”

Ryan tried not to freeze, it would just give him away. “I mean, I asked how her day was, and the shoot she just did, but not much else.”

Shane kept his eyes fixed on Ryan’s face, trying to read him on if he was telling the truth or not. The paranoid part of Ryan’s brain was thinking that maybe Sara’s conversation was a trick and Shane actually told her and was using her to see Ryan’s reaction.

Shane looked away, whether he was content with his reading, Ryan didn’t know, but there was relief flowing through him when Shane looked away.

“Ok,” Shane said. He took a breath in and released it slowly, running a hand through his hair.

There was something unsettling about knowing a demon can get worried about normal human stuff like relationship problems. If he let himself spiral, which he had many times when contemplating Shane’s demon status, he would fall into a pit of worry regarding whether the universe is even remotely safe if powerful beings like demons still had the emotions of humans.

Or maybe it was just Shane. Maybe he was the exception.

Ryan stopped himself, feeling like his thoughts were starting to have a double meaning. He couldn’t let his mind go back to his conversation with Sara. He’d get nothing done just dwelling on the fact that Shane might have a crush on him. How would he even address it? How wou-

“Ryan!”

Ryan snapped out of his trance, looking back at Shane. “Huh?”

“You were staring at your keyboard for like five minutes, not moving. What’s going on? Are you sure Sara didn’t tell you anything else?”

Ryan sighed. So much for not bringing it up. “She may have mentioned something, and it’s on my mind and I know we said no secrets but also it’s technically your secret but it might not be your secret because I don’t know if it’s even real or if Sara’s reading into things and - and I’m rambling. Ok.” Ryan took a deep breath, he only had one solid option, and that was to outright ask Shane.

“She thinks you have a crush on me.”

Shane froze, standing still in the same way Ryan had a few moment prior. “She said what now?”

“She said that part of the reason she’s backing away for a bit is to let you figure out anything about whether or not you like me or not. And like, you don’t have to say anything it’s just on my mind.”

Shane stayed silent, a common theme in the past 24 hours, as he contemplated his thoughts. “Ok,” he said simply.

“Ok?”

“Yeah, ok. I honestly don’t know what to think right now, so just, ok.” Shane shrugged, going back into his normal state.

Ryan looked down, face twisted in bewilderment. Ok? That’s it? No ‘Yes Ryan I have a crush on you’ or ‘No Ryan that’s ridiculous’? Just ok?

“Oh stop making that face you were the one that said I could say nothing at all.” Shane scolded, playfully swatting Ryan’s shoulder. “Now get to work, you still have to research that asylum you want us to go to. I’m not going to see some basic ass ghosts without any actual information.”

Shane turned back to his computer, finishing up some editing for other Buzzfeed projects, and maybe some Ruining History if he was lucky.

Ryan shook his head to sober up, he felt drunk on his own thoughts. The uncertainty of Shane liking him felt both confirmed and completely tangled at the same time. Was his silence his way of saying he had actual thoughts and feelings he needed to work out and he actually had a crush on Ryan. Or was it because he was trying to figure out how to make sure Sara knew that he didn’t have a crush on Ryan. Or maybe he was considering Ryan as a potential romantic partner for the first time and he needed to consider it if Sara was giving him the opportunity.

It took all his energy not to just bang his head on the desk right then and there. Why did life have to become so complicated? Ryan’s a simple man, he likes his sports, ghosts (debatable), and hanging out with his friends. That should be easy. Now the only thing that could remain easy was sports.

“At least I have sports,” Ryan muttered to himself.

“What are you talking about?” Shane asked, seeming quite confused by Ryan’s sudden change in conversation.

“I was just thinking about sports,” he replied, not confident enough to actually tell the truth but not scared enough to lie all the way.

Shane laughed and shook his head at Ryan. He didn’t seem at all bothered, simply working the way he usually does.

Ryan stopped himself. There was no way he was going to get anything done if he just kept focusing on Shane. Sure, Sara got into his head a bit, but she could always be wrong and things would just stay normal. It’s rarely the worst case scenario.

Proud of himself for rationalizing the situation, Ryan went back to researching the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, letting his only worries be whether or not he wanted to call it a “Lunatic Asylum” or just “Asylum”.

[merlinthoughts]

Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant

- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there

- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone

- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o

- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out

- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT

- okay but who names their son valiant

- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”

- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl

- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this

- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD

- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly

- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao

- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants

- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”

- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.

- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK

- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y

- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.

- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is

- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF

- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores

- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS

-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND

- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER

- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”

- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.

- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.

- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE

- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.

- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it

- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince

- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.

- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover

- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???

- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it

- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell

- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)

- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit

- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”

- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((

- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.

- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”

- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.

- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”

- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO

- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH

- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys

- ewan is mcfuckingdead

- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business

- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part

- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me

- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies

- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically

- but now val knows merlin knows

- AND MERLIN INTERVENES

- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit

- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE

- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy

- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.

- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies

- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore

- the husbands FIGHT

- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight

- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF

- TRUST UR HUBBY

- FUCK

- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO

- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS

- GUYS IM NOT OKAy

- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay

- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.

- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit

- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin

- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh

- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk

- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD

- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”

- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you

- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read

- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 

- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi

- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua

- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself

- no one sees mErLin??

- but they now see the snakes smh fakes

- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”

- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin

- uther better give merlin an apology

- arthur just said he wouldnt

- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN

- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG

- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG

- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore

- yeah, i literally fucking can't

[decaynow]

∞

SHDHDHHSHD DOES THIS MEAN YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER WHICHEVER ONES I WANT OR ALL OF THEM??? Fuck it, I’m done with stuff at this job so. I’ll do them all. Why not

1. What is you middle name?

Gerard

2. How old are you?

20

3. When is your birthday?

June 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Geminiii

5. What is your favorite color?

RED but i also love black

6. What’s your lucky number?

6!!! I like this question’s placement. 6 because Grimmjow but also because HAIL SATAN 666 AAAAAA

7. Do you have any pets?

I have a lil’ black pitbull named Trixie!!!

8. Where are you from?

Georgia the state

9. How tall are you?

5’3

10. What shoe size are you?

uhhh i actually do not know my size in men’s I think it’s like a 5??? Technically in women’s I’m a 7.5 but I tend to buy a half size up A. because doc martens doesn’t do half sizes and B. i dont really like for my shoes to be tight

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

... a lot. I have a shoe fetish ngl.

12. What was your last dream about?

I think I had a dream last night..? About Invader Zim maybe???

13. What talents do you have?

I CAN SING LIKE ANY TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG, i can touch my tongue to my nose, I have a pretty decent Kermit the frog impression, and I have other weird flexes but I cant remember them rn because my memory sucks

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Idk, sometimes I can predict what song will play next but I think I’m just lucky.

15. Favorite song?

Hhh this is so hard to answer bc I wanna pick something metal but tbh... Holding On To You by Twenty One Pilots

16. Favorite movie?

Either Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron (I know the whole movie by heart and all the songs)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

HBNGFHBB,, i dont know I thirst after many celebrities and fictional characters and they’re all kind of different. I guess someone who won’t make me be someone I’m not. Obviously my lack of adult qualities probably isn’t endearing but idk, someone who’s willing to let me be a lil’ childish. I’d like someone who takes the reigns when it comes to adult stuff, I wanna be a stay at home dad and manage our place and kids or pets and stuff. I like kinda being left to my own devices. That will include me constantly wanting to be in ur space LOL

18. Do you want children?

YEAH... REALLY BADLY... but idk if I’ll ever get to have any bc I dont think anyone would want to date me and marry me and have them LMAO so I dont think I should be trying ever

19. Do you want a church wedding?

My ideal wedding is in a graveyard, on October 31st, at sundown, we are being married on an altar of black candles and jack-o-lanters, the autumn colours are flourishing, and I am carried out to the walkway down to the altar in a casket. Everyone is required to wear black except for our bestmen/bridesmaids and me or whoever I marry. If they aren’t dressed like it’s a funeral I’m kicking them out. Deadass. I want the gothest wedding imaginable.

20. Are you religious?

I do kinda believe in stuff but I’m not a fan of organized religion. I mean, I’m a fan as in, the aesthetic and idea of organized religion is majorly sexy, but i feel like religion is really personal and not a public thing for me. Also 666 hail sa-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Nope!!! Never broken a bone or had any kind of emergency LOL

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

ONCE I GOT PULLED OVER FOR ROLLING THRU A STOP SIGN AND I CRIED

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I’VE MET HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD TWICE!!! And I’ve met Norman Reedus too. I also went to school with Chandler Riggs (not to put my location on blast HDYDUFHDGDGDD) uhhh I can’t think of anyone else if I have I’d probAOH. Shannon whatever her name is from Stranger Things. She was at my last TØP concert and I asked her for a picture bc my friends were too shy to say anything but since idk her i didnt care LOL

24. Baths or showers?

I like both but I take showers more often

25. What color socks are you wearing?

One is The Scream by Edvard Munch and one is The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

26. Have you ever been famous?

Not like BIG famous but like, people in my school all knew me basically because I was always Doing Shit

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Maybe??? Part of me doesnt want all my shit on blast but at the same time idgaf

28. What type of music do you like?

E... everything... i lean towards punk, pop punk, rock, metal, alternative and whatever but i will literally go from Hannah Montana to Dethklok to Twenty One Pilots to Ghost to Katy Perry don’t test me

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NO and idk if i want to i dont like to be naked

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 7 but i usually have 8. I like a lot of pillows. I want more.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

... ur asking an active sleeper that question. I don’t even know what position i wake up in.

32. How big is your house?

Normal sized I guess???

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I DONT EAT IT BECAUSE I DONT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

I think my dad let me once when I was a kid but that’s because he’s a bad father

35. Have you ever tried archery?

YEAH i sucked at it but in my head i imagine being good at it lol

36. Favorite clean word?

Salutations, Shenanigans or Hold

37. Favorite swear word?

hmmm would go with your classic fuck but tbh i LOVE to lengthen it to motherfucker. Think in terms of most used though, God Damnit.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe two days?

39. Do you have any scars?

:/ I have a lot. Some are from me being dumb (the scar on my leg from melting tape) and some are from me being really dumb (scars on my wrist and arm and thigh) but I’m not ashamed of them, in fact I like scars and bruises. I just hate when people randomly ask about them in person (ie “omg what happened!?!?”) because it’s like... self harm scars are pretty obvious about what’s going on so when you ask like that... idk wtf to say.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

PROBABLY??? But im oblivious.

41. Are you a good liar?

Hhjfguvghhh maybe sometimes??? I try not to lie though and i think its impossible bc im a gemini so there’s a little truth in everything I say

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO IM STUPID

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

NOOOOOOO i can do Kermit the Frog and thats it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m southern so yes

45. What is your favorite accent?

I LOVE YOU SWEDISH PEOPLE... also love irish accents but also i cant understand anything bc my ears are stupid

46. What is your personality type?

Rambunctious

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a $100 Ghost hoodie but I think my Big Boots were $148

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yas

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inward belly buttons or perish

50. Left or right handed?

LEFT LEFT LEFT

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Hmhnghhhhnnnn depends, usually

52. Favorite food?

PASTAAA

53. Favorite foreign food?

I fucking LOVE udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I am a messy person doing my absolute best to be clean

55. Most used phrased?

like ever? I start most sentences with “you know what i hate?” But mostly i tend to parrot memes. If I think something is funny I repeat it to myself over and over until it isn’t.

56. Most used word?

Probably “I” because I cant ever stop talking about my damn self

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

... i dont wanna talk about it (a while)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

... I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT (i simultaneuosly... hate myself but also think im the best)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

SUCK WHO IS BITING THEM???

60. Do you talk to yourself?

SO FUCKING MUCH

61. Do you sing to yourself?

OBVIOUSLY

62. Are you a good singer?

... no but it doesnt stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

I HATE MIRRORS I HATE BATHROOM MIRRORS IN THE DARK THAT STUPID FUCKING CHANT I HATE IT I CANT SAY IT EVER ITS MY FEAR

64. Are you a gossip?

I dont want to be but I’m a gemini so it just HAPPENS

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Man i dont even know just go watch Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I prefer to have mine long but i kinda wanna cut it, i LOOOVE guys with long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Oh definitely Not

68. Favorite school subject?

ART or biology

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous?

LOTS OF SHIT GOD BUT I HATE DOING A BAD JOB OR MAKING MISTAKES

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes, it just depends

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Hhhffudhdhhh only if I know I wont come off condescending

74. Are you ticklish?

YEAH BUT DONT TICKLE ME I KICKED MY CHUCKLEFUCK EX IN THE DICK ONCE FOR TICKLING ME, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT U SHOULD STILL BE WARNED

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Dont think so

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Sometimes I told groups in school to just let me do all the work because I didn’t trust them with my grade.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

... like a few days ago but tbh alcohol is disgusting and i only wanna drink banana liquor or else i dont drink at all bc its gross

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I desperately wish i had more drugs in my life but i dont wanna come off as a crackhead

79. Who was your first real crush?

EITHER SPIDER-MAN OR YUGI MUTO

80. How many piercings do you have?

I WISH I HAD MY NIPPLE PIERCED SO BADLY... also if i HAD A DICK god nerf’d me I WOULD GET PIERCINGS UP MY DICK... also my (expensive) dream is to get like subdermal/metadermal? implants on my forehead and get devil horns

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yep

82. How fast can you type?

I type... so fast

83. How fast can you run?

Maybe kinda fast but not for long

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally its brown but the bottom half is bleached and one side is yellow and the other is green

85. What color is your eyes?

Bluuue

86. What are you allergic to?

FIRE ANT BITES AND AMOXICILLIN AND I HAVE HAD HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES WITH BOTH

87. Do you keep a journal?

Kind of??? I have a poetry journal and I write dreams down sometimes.

88. What do your parents do?

My mom does like marketing and my dad does carpet cleaning

89. Do you like your age?

No I wanted to die at 12 and I wanna die now. The difference is I didn’t think I’d live this long so now I have no idea what I’m doing.

90. What makes you angry?

FUCKING EVERYTHING IF YOU DATE ME OR BEFRIEND ME YOU NEED TO KNOW I WILL RAGE ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND U CANNOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LEST I FOAM AT THE MOUTH

91. Do you like your own name?

YEAH I PICKED IT!!! But i also wanna change it but i kinda cant bc Johnny from HU called me Reimond and they all know me as Reimond. But also I wanna be Lucifer Slade Solo.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

TOBIAS JEREMY AND EMELE CECILIA

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I’d be fine with either but tbh!!! Probably a boy.

94. What are you strengths?

HDHDUFHHH,, I NEVER TRULY GIVE UP I JUST GET ANGRIER. I’M INDEFATIGABLE

95. What are your weaknesses?

yelling. if you yell at me i will get upset. if im yelling its fine but if you yell i’ll cry. also roaches.

96. How did you get your name?

Well i consider Reimond the “masculine” version of my deadname!!! Technically there’s Racheal but it’d just get pronounced the same and I still have to correct people on Reimond (EVERYONE KEEPS THINKING IM SAYING RAYMAN) and Gerard is my middle name bc MCR, and I would love to change my last name lol.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?

U ASKED THIS ALREADY

99. Color of your bedspread?

I have Star Wars sheets with Kylo Ren and storm troopers! I also have Spider-Man sheets.

100. Color of your room?

It’s like painted like a beige colour but most of my stuff is dark lol

[jemsboner]

post lord of shadows thoughts and predictions

okay time to round up all this shit in one post. this is still all over the place though sorry, it’s in no order just writing shit down as it comes to me. this is going to be super long and spoilery so it’s under a read more

1. I enjoyed Lord of Shadows much more than Lady Midnight. LM was good but it felt very bogged down in character and plot introduction, not its fault it had a lot to introduce lmao. Wasn’t super excited to read los after lm cause it wasn’t that memorable, but now I’m dying for Queen of Air and Darkness. 2. Since LM was (I’m pretty sure been a while) told exclusively through the older kids povs, ty and livvy felt super young despite only be 2 years younger than Julian and Emma, but they really felt like teenagers who are just tired of being treated and seen as children in this one. 3. Um I really feel for Malcolm. Like a lot. Listen I know he went a little of the deep end there, but no one could argue against that he loves Annabel more than anything. All the diary entries and the house he built for them honestly kill me. I really don’t believe he left her alone on purpose which makes me sad because Annabel died believing he betrayed her and that was one of the reasons she killed him. I’m excited to see him before he knew the truth about Annabel in TLH. 4. Speaking of Annabel holy shit. Something is definitely not right with her. I like how powerful she is and she was pretty endearing at the end, she actually kind’ve reminds me of cecily. also I’m dying cause I just remembered while writing this that everyone thought that Livvy looked alike Annabel kill me. I definitely didn’t think she meant to do what she did at the end, obvs an explanation is not an excuse 😏, but she lashes out and then gets scared. she seems to regret killing livvy the moment after it happens and I’m interested to see how this affects her. 5. So I guess with no inquisitor that exile thing is not gonna work. but I still believe that cortana will have something to do with breaking the parabatai bond…it can cut through anything after all. 6. Speaking of cutting through anything EMMA FUCKING BROKE THE MORTAL SWORD. LIKE THAT CAN NOT BE GOOD AT ALL. AND WHAT WAS THAT BLACK SHIT INSIDE OF IT??? 7. I’m scared what Livvy’s death is going to do to Julian because the guy has really been slipping down the mental health slope for a while now. not gonna lie, Julian was TERRIFYING in this book. he really doesn’t give a shit about anyone that isn’t Emma or family. also the red flag for me was when him and Emma were arguing and he smashed that glass, like that is not a good way to take out your anger, but I mean Emma immediately puts a hole in the wall so they’re both not the best examples for how to act in a healthy relationship. also, despite what he told Emma, he seems to be absolutely fine with breaking every other parabatai bond just to be with Emma. listen I love Julian but he seems to be slipping a lil into antagonist territory. 8. Not that Emma wasn’t cutthroat either. she didn’t even consider mercy when it came to Annabel, she was gonna slice right through her, u know until the unseelie king spirited her away. 9. Kit and Ty were adorable. also has it been confirmed that they’re the Wicked Power protagonists? because if not I’m p sure they are. 10. I was so happy to be back at the London Institute. I loved all the little tid and tlh hints everywhere (jem and will’s height charts 😭😭😭) um so Bridget is still super alive somehow uuuuhh?? how??? jessamine is a darling brat as usual. love her. also that line where Magnus said they weren’t the first to think to burn down the blackthorn manor?? tlh reference maybe? 11. while Mark/Emma will always hold a place in my heart I really warmed up to Emma/Julian and Mark/Cristina/Kieran. btw I really feel like that’s gonna end in polyamory, I think cc has been wanting to write and actual poly relationship ( I love herongraystairs but I don’t think it technically counts going by only canon) for a while now, and while only Mark/Cristina and Mark/Kieran were introduced in lm, Cristina and Kieran def gotta a lot closer in this book and seemed to have a lot of romantic tension. anyway new ot3. 12. if u know anything about me u know I’M A SLUT FOR JEM AND TESSA. anytime they were mentioned I started breathing heavy. still sad they didn’t actually appear in this one, but it seems set up for them to appear in the final one speaking of… 13. listen I love Magnus and I want no harm to come to him but TESSA IS SICK I CANT DEAL WITH THIS. LIKE CAN HER AND JEM JUST BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY WITHOUT SOME INCURABLE ILLNESS HANGING OVER THEM. and like what other warlocks have been affected??? IS CATARINA OKAY? 14. y'all that guy with green skin has gotta be ragnor there is not doubt in my mind. cc has always regretted killing him and I’ve been waiting for this tree colored man to return for a while now. I want to know why he’s in hiding tho and he like bolted when Magnus showed up on the scene. 15. EY YO FUCK THE COHORT AND FUCK ZARA. at first I thought they were a little too cartoony of villains, like there was no complexity to them, they just seem like straight up douche nozzles all the time, but then I remembered that they’re based off real issues right now and people really do think like this sooo. but like Zara is absolutely the worst, how dare and her awful buddies talk shit to my children. everytime anything came out of her mouth I was like-LETS GO. OUTISDE. RIGHT NOW. TRIAL BY COMBAT, YOU LYING SNAKE. 16. I really loved the seelie and unseelie courts and their differences. like I agree cc is a little long winded, but her writing has greatly improved since CoB and it really showed in this one for me. I like the unseelie king and I hope we get to see more of him in the next book, and maybe more of Kieran’s brothers, wouldn’t want to let all those cute faerie boys go to waste. 17. as much as I hate to say it, I’m p sure that the seelie court member that was stolen by the unseelie was Sebastian’s and the seelie queen’s kid. LIKE I HOPE IM SO WRONG AND THAT THAT FUCKING KID DOESNT EXIST BUT ALL SIGNS SEEM TO BE POINTING TO HELL CHILD. 18. speaking of Sebastian, the way cc was talking about him before los came out, I was really expecting something big about him to happen, like his ghost (or demon seed ugh) he was barely even mentioned except closer to the end there. 19. oh yeah I can’t believe Clary’s dead???? like I’ve never been a big fan of clary or jace but the way she talked about like she’s already accepted it killed me. like if this happens it’s going to ruin jace. 20. I’ve become very endeared to Dru throughout los, I think she’s my fav blackthorn besides Julian. she’s chubby which is fucking GREAT and tho the whole pretend I’m not 13 thing with Jaime made me a lil uncomfy, he didn’t really flirt with her or anything and their friendship was really cute. it seems to me cc is setting her up with that Ash kid that appeared for 2 seconds. YO @emmascxrstairs JUST ROCKED MY WHOLE WORLD AND SAID THAT ASH IS THE DEMON SPAWN AND IM MAD BECAUSE OF COURSE HE IS LMAO FLEW RIGHT PAST ME. 21. that’s one thing that kills me with cc books, is that other than the main romances it’s usually super easy to tell who ends with who, and that she feels the need to pair EVERYONE OFF. lmao I was actually wondering why a love interest hadn’t been introduced for Livvy yet (Kit doesn’t count cause after that first kiss, it was real obvs him and ty were gonna be the thing) and then she died and I was like…oh…that’s why. 22. like many predicted, Diana is trans and im crying she’s amazing. her and Gwyn caught me off guard but I’m not gonna lie, they’re really cute. 23. also omg I just thought with livvy dying, what if Julian blames it on himself and the parabatai curse kill me. 24.so yeah all in all 👌👌👌 very good would recommend. now time to get fucking pumped for the last hours

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So Jazmine was trying to get her DNA changed to be Brian's child.

She asked me to remove the "daddy's race girl" clothing from the baby registry. So i looked and turns out there wasn't an actual item that said that. So we are good and kept those items.

The nursery section is still under construction and I agree with Alex wait till you see me to buy. Although what he was saying was he has no intention of me going.

Well he's an ass hole and i am not.

And my no the refused to change the twins DNA Only because Jazzy didn't include Annabelle.

Who is Alex Laughlin's biological child he chose to neglect and abandon and doesn't pay child support.

Jazzy says "i meant.. Us.. All. To change our DNA"

"Yep that i can do since you're verbally including Annabelle as well to make sure." Replied my mom

My mom is SO SO SO SO SO SO mad at Alex Laughlin right now. She could choke him out to death in 5 point 6 seconds.

Regardless whether their DNA is changed.

The point i want to express is that i will allow my children to pick who is in thier lives, I always have with Annabelle. When she wanted her gramma Denise I allowed it even if i declared war and was not on speaking terms with her and made it clear i didnt want her in my life.

Alex is from Planet Timbuktu which had imploded in the 1960s and was from a galaxy next door. They were out to visit an their equipment broke down and they just stayed. So anyone trying to find them and succeeding was allowed to stay. They were turkey shaped. Which caused Thanksgiving to be a world wide holiday before it was an USA One.

Of course Zulululu doesn't want to talk about that as they are unwanted invaders and dont want anyone to know about invasions or even aliens.

So Alex was about two years old and he hasn't matured greatly since then. An LLPD said they all adore Alex, always all "come here give me hugs!" But Brian they stand up straight with respect and love and gratitude. And are all "do you want a hug?"

Brian says no. Usually I will say yes until I have a person to person issue to cause me to say no. Or my back hurts.

Brian will say yes when its been earned. Like trust or some form of respecting quality.

Anyway my point besides all the side stories is my kids will face the same as many of you.

My daughter is 16. Does she keep the past company or does she look to the future with Alex? If she has a choice. And i will make sure she does. And if Alex has a problem then my fist and his face will have a close and frequent relationship.

My twins can make their choice up front. They have that right. Hurt him now or risk being hurt themselves.

Windy says she would like two dads. But Jazzy screams "Noooo!" When Windy says that. So I tell her she can stay home with mommy.

Now if this fucking idiot just thinks hes gonna be all willy nilly about just picking up my kids as he sees fit. Well he's fucking wrong.

I'm talking like 16 grown ass men that know fear and hate standing around with AK47 and M16 and shit. I'm not fucking playing. Hes dumb. Plain and simple.

Like dopey he's all cute and shit and the odd one out. But he's not respectable. And definetly not trust worthy in any adult fashion.

He's just a party boy. Which makes him a good friend to have. But. A parent? No. A husband? No.

Windy is all "fine an uncle then"

Alex is all "wow you make it sound like you want nothing to do with me"

Really? He fucking lies. I really don't to be honest. For why would I want to be friends with a liar that treats me like I'm worthless?

I've had at least two husbands I treated tbat way because to me they were. Like they were worthless but I didn't lie to their face. I embraced their inequality and tried to support and encourage them. And I never took their kids from them. Someone's trash is someone else's treasure.

So Alex wants to continue treating me and our kids like trash. Then bye bye.

He doesn't even see that he does. He thinks hes right. Like I said his maturity is very low. Very Dopey. From Snow White and the Seven Drawves if you haven't caught my drift yet.

But he's creative. Just irresponsible. Careless and clueless.

His feelings are more important. Because he fainted when Annabelle was born he decided to flee. Like she would be crawling out my vagina every day. Can't handle diapers. Fucking weakling.

So she's 16 and in just a few short months she will be 17. And we definitely will not be at that race. But somewhere celebrating her life. Because her birthday falls on a race day.

Whether he wants to do something the week before or not that's up to him, but she's not gonna be at the Races when she can be someplace exotic and un ordinary.

Because im the mom. Im the single mom. And her and i have been a team. He's never WANTED or made an EFFORT to be in her life.

Whether or not i would want him in my life doesnt matter. Because I am UNINPORTANT to him.

It makes me angry. I can't even be sad although my anger is stormed by sadness. For him. And mostly my almost 17 year old daughter.

He's fucking weak. And my daughters all need to know that.

Brian does dumb shit because hes too over protective. 8 tours in Iraq. So yeah he's a bit afraid to cause me daily stress if he's gonna die. So he's stayed out of my life. It didn't work though, I figured it out. But also I didn't worry. And believe me. He got his shit beat from him. I wasn't nice about it. For years. If i got in a bad mood. He heard ALL about it. Straight from me and if he didn't he got scared.

So he got his karma. The difference is he's not afraid or whiny about which formula is best for each twin or if they do or don't want a dirty diaper. Or want to use the potty.

And he's not selfish. Which is why people are all "oh give me hugs little Alex" vs standing up straight and asking with respect if ole boy can do with a hug. Steal a hug from the little selfish boy. Ask from the generous man.

I wasn't intending to rant

But to encourage other people to allow their children to choose their parents.

There's a lot of death happening and sadness and people feel hopeless, so to "rant" and compare people is imperative right now. It IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

Imperative. I relate the word to inoperable and operable. Which means able to operate. Which means work. Imperative means the most important to cause something to work.

So be imperative to your child's companions. Parents are dying.

They need to decide who their replacement is. Gramma. Uncle. Cousin. Stranger.

My 3 girls are no different.

I also had to do the same. I was an orphan and due to amnesia, I'm with who I was "stuck" with. My uncle and a Zulululu I'm aimed to kill.

So Annabelle was stuck with an abusive surrogate Alex picked. Until I got a divorce. The summer after kindergarten, he moved out. Legal divorce didn't come for years because he became abusive about it and so as long as he moved out and left us alone.

For awhile Annabelle wanted to be with her surrogate. So for 2nd grade I gave in and let him for October to March split the week. But she decided she didn't like it

So I had to deal with his whining and crying and bull shit about wanting to see her more

She didn't like him. He was dumb and a Zulululu and selfish. So I stood up to him. It didn't matter to him she didn't want to see him.

Just like I know it won't matter Annabelle will want to see Alex to Alex or his little pathetic friends he finds so important.

But I also know she doesn't give a shit any more. You all think I'm harsh?

Ill be all "this is your biological father he chose Michael to be your dad" she will spit in his face. If I add "because he fainted when I was in labor with you" she would laugh in his face, tell him he's pathetic and ask when we can leave.

It's the truth. I could list all his great qualities and all it will do is hurt her. Because if he's so great, why doesn't he care about her? She would cry.

So fuck that. "Here's him. This is what he did. And why"

Intuition and past experiences takes care of the rest.

I think its extremely important who i am with because of her. But she says "why the fuck would i care?" Uhh duh cause you're still my kid. Her answer is if he's a piece of shit you'll drop him and if not ill fucking move and take care of myself.

And me "well lets get down to it if he's in there raping and molesting you or beating you then you better dam well tell me. Tell me it doesn't fucking matter because it sure as hell does matter your opinion"

"Those are about facts" im told.

Well fucking a relief, we are in this together!

"Well it does matter if you like him because if we go it to eat or to the movie or something"

"Well i will just use him for money"

"Well that's not a high quality of life. Id rather you use someone for money that you actually like and enjoy being with"

"That's not using them for money! That's something different! Idk what its called. What's it called?"

"Allowing someone to be generous and enjoying companionship or company with them. And that's not a bad thing as long as you appreciate it"

"Appreciation! Its called using someone for money but liking it! I mean appreciating it! Am i right?!"

Well yeah, in all technical terms.

"Or allowing someone to be your daddy?"

"How come not mom?!"

"Because im not gay or bi sexual"

"I am already through with dads. Can you be gay or even just a little bi sexual, a little for me please?"

"No"

Same shit since she was 8. Half her life.

And Alex is the one that made sure she would be through with dads. Brian was standing right there. And he picked someone known to be abusive and on drugs and an alcoholic.

So really. If you ask me. Spit is kind. He deserves to be shot in the face.

She won't hold me back. But i can't make her uncomfortable or unhappy because she gives me freedom.

That would break my own heart.

So i encourage others especially those suffering wirh COVID to make your plans.

I have in my WILL actually an 18 year old when I made it to take her. I have a house with the social security she would get from my death it would be enough to split the mortgage and bills. The 18 year old works.

It allows him, its not her soul mate but what I believed to be a blood relative, to get out on his own and be with a young adult that needs to be looked after during her time of need in case of my death.

Make sure food is available, the home is clean, bills are paid, doctor appointments are done and so on. And that life has a bit of fun, on top. And little stress due to him not wanting to be a parent but a friend.

An 18 year old more responsible than her own father or the other he had picked.

For him an affordable safe place to live and for her an adult to be legal guardian so she can be left alone by Denise and Michael. Both aggressive enough to lock the door and not open it when someone on the other side isnt wanted. And kind enough to take time to understand why the other chose to not open the door and support that or at least let it live.

Because that is what my daughter needs. Someone to support that and someone of legal age and capabilities to provide decent living conditions.

And enough in common to enjoy life. And enough respect to allow differences the other may not prefer to do or have.

And so that is what i have set up.

He's not full of infinite wisdom or even all the time patient or unaggrevating. But he's kind enough. And he's not altogether selfish. Self orientated but so is she and so am I.

That's independent with a demand to be cared for and about.

And luckily they mesh well enough.

Alex could have but he chose fear. Not responsibility.

Although he promised he wouldn't. Swore up and down..

His friend Ben that goes by Matt, "she's never going to get pregnant just come on with me"

They left. So i sent a pregnancy test over to where they were. "Oh that's fake" said Ben.

Well i have an almost 17 year old that DNA4U says is Alex's.

But Ben mattered. Not me. Not her.

And certainly not Alex.

While that makes me sad that Alex doesn't even care about himself i know there's nothing i can do about that and i def will not make excuses to him to any of our daughters.

And I would just as soon want to write him off myself.

No point in caring for someone like him. Not any proof of that in my life. Its just a waste of time and energy

So please write a WILL and email it to those that are leaders in your family and who it includes.

Example:

LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

I want Sam to have my 3 cars.

I want Janice to have my house.

I want Jacklyn to have guardianship of my kids. She can find my life insurance and bank information in my safe. I have provided that information about my safe in a place I will tell my friend Sally.

For my last testaments those will also be located by Sally and given to whom needs to know.

Then i sign my legal name and i email it to Jacklyn, Janice and Sam as well as Sally.

Then Sally comes over and i tell her "look on top the fridge, i taped the envelopes you need down" or "look under my drawer, pull it out and look above youll find the info in case I die"

Jacklyn doesnt need to know all my insurance or bank info now and it might change between now and then. I told my kid, just look in my wallet. She's beneficiary and so she gets all everything. And some banks offer life insurance.

I chose someone my daughter can get along with and won't change her or force her to feel her choices are wrong. Someone whom will accept her and she can accept without changing her lifestyle very much.

So please do do so for your kids and please do ask.

Sure there are more legal ways but this is pretty desperate times and so a judge fully understanding it is your true will and testament and can prove it by your IP address and email address it is valid even in court

Further you can text from your phone number "I've emailed you my last will and testament to email@email.com from my regular email, email@email.com if you're worried about securing that legality

I text my entire WILL then emailed it. So They have two proofs. Then emailed it to myself.

So. The point is to validate the identity of the writer.

Once that is done what is written is the legal will.

Sally also knows where the title of the cars are -- in my safe and Sally is named my executer of my will although I didn't use the formal words that's who she is.

Jacklyn is younger and knows Sally so she will let Sally take the kids and so on. Which I wrote in request in the safe because I don't want to negoatate or questions. Its what I want.

And Sally will give that to Jacklyn in a sealed envelope even Sally didn't look in. "Family plan for Jacklyn" saying EXACTLY how I want my children raised. No spanking. No drugs or drinking under 18. No sleep overs with boys. No disrespect but facts. And to see Sally twice weekly. Plus normal clothing and feeding and shelter. Which Jacklyn has proven capable.

Even more I could just emailed the above and said "Sally has my last will and testament" if i wanted to keep the peace and not hear about how im driving Sam's inheritance wrong according to Sam.

I gave everything to Annabelle which is what her guardian would need to know so I told them both.

Of course the future will change that but...

Even so that's all her life. The twins aren't born yet and didn't have nearly their whole life in that house.

And of course saddling an 18 year old with nearly 17 year old is different than new borns. And by the time it gets to it she will be 18. So. She won't need a guardian...

So. I encourage you all to grasp your future and atrmpt a control of it after your death.