#AND HE KNEW HER BETTER THAN SHE KNEW HERSELF AND SHE KNEW HIM BETTER THAN HE KNEW HIMSELF | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sweetsaladpainterranch · 2 days ago

Text

The Rival (Chapter 4)

(Summary: Alastor sought to possess one of the only does in Pentagram City for the rut season, however, you wanted a mate, not a master. But what happens when a handsome new buck shows up one day and tries to capture your attention away from the Radio Demon. Who will you choose?)

***

You could see nothing. Where once there was a seemingly paralyzed Alastor standing in front of a smirking James, there was now a swirling vortex of alive blackness that had completely overtaken the two men. You and Husk could only watch helplessly from the back porch as the fate of the duel was decided privately, but…Alastor couldn’t actually lose, right?

“Fuck, I didn’t think the boss would actually pull out the spectral tunnel!”, Husk mumbled, “ain’t seen that smoky bitch in almost a decade.”

“Guys!?”, A distraught Charlie and an irate Vaggie suddenly appeared and shouted from the back door, “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?? WHY IS THE SKY OVER THE HOTEL COMPLETELY BLACK?!” You thought the princess might actually have a panic attack if she didn’t start breathing as she continued to take in her back garden. She looked towards you and Husk questioningly and you shamefully replayed the morning’s events beginning with Alastor catching you making out with the newest tenant and ending with the swirling black void being the product of the buck’s fight.

“You’ve got to stop them, Charlie!”, you stepped towards the princess with imploring eyes and shook her by the shoulders, “They’re going to kill each other!”

Vaggie quickly moved your hands away so that the shaken princess could stabilize herself and hand off her red suit jacket. Rolling up the sleeves of her dress shirt and muttering something about not taking shit from other demons or some nonsense, Charlie strutted off in the direction of her hotelier’s spectral twister with a determined expression. However, before your, now demonic-looking leader, reached the terrifying shadow manifestation it disappeared completely and left only an undisturbed Alastor holding up a very tired, but otherwise unscathed, looking James.

…

A day later things had already changed dramatically at the Hazbin Hotel. Firstly, you had expected Alastor to jump at the chance that his win over James granted him and take you deep within his bayou den. However, he simply declared that he was no longer worthy of being your mate and asked for the opportunity to prove himself to you (whatever that meant), while you found yourself nearly overcome with heavy emotions.

Also, at the same time, an incredible amount of sexual frustration coursed through you from being left at the start of your heat with no one to sate you, but this could actually be what you’ve been longing for. A mate instead of a seasonal sex buddy.

Secondly, James left without a single word to you and left that same afternoon. Only taking what little he had brought with him and swiftly exiting (running) through the large front doors without looking back. He refused to answer any of the questions or affirmations Charlie hurled at him in a desperate attempt to calm her retreating tenant, but he merely offered a small apology for the trouble and a gruff “thanks” for the hospitality. You also noticed a slightly sweet, yet familiar, aroma emanating from him, though you just couldn’t place where you knew that floral scent from.

What the fuck? He could have at least given you some sort of explanation after causing so much trouble!

Who knew what Alastor could’ve meant about being “worthy”. All you could do was retire to your hotel room for the time being as you prayed that he would take pity on you and relieve this fever upon your soul. Every passing hour became worse and worse as your entire body felt like it might burn up in your bed and you felt sweat soak your nightshirt. You knew better than to either change your sheets or keep on anything but a shirt as they’ll only get dampened again by your heat’s fluids. Who knows how far into your season you were now, you had already lost track of time and could only weakly reach out for the emergency rations, that you noticed had kept restocking themselves magically at your bedside, to eat and drink enough to balance out the energy you were burning trying to conquer your lust on your own. Though, no amount of self-initiated orgasms, with or without a vibrator, helped to quench your demonic biology’s demand to be bred by a buck.

And not just any buck. YOUR BUCK.

You whimpered pitifully as your foggy mind wandered to where your mate, the one male who was strong enough to trigger your heat, went off to and cried when the thought of his slight rejection again sounded within your ears. What if he had chosen another? Not likely since you were the only doe you knew of in all of time you’d fallen into Hell, but you were exhausted, and logic wasn’t a concern as you were soon sure that he must be fucking another through her own season.

Dammit! Why was a female’s heat so much worse than a male’s?!

Both Alastor and James seemed to be at least able to stroll around their daily lives normally a few days, even a week or so, into their seasons with barely any problem. Then a depressing thought made itself known. Was it because you weren’t strong enough to control your body? Was that what Alastor thought too? Was that why James suddenly left without a word? That must be it! Your fragile mind agreed. They must be disgusted with how you were far too weak to wrangle either of them during their fight and now they knew you had become a poor, wanton slut. A fat tear slipped out of your clenched-shut eyelids as you accepted that you would be alone in this torture for however long your heat decided to drag on. The fever must have finally become too much because you were cast adrift within a fitful sleep of nightmares… and your Alastor.

…

Alastor stood tall, holding out his felled opponent’s, still beating heart, in front of his inwardly crushed face and wet eyes as the tornado of his shadows raged around them in time with his own growing fury.

“No? Well then, how about a… deal?”, the Radio Demon purred out excitedly and thought his smile might actually cut his face in half if it got any bigger. He continued with his proposal, “You see, my good man, my spectral companion picked up some rather racy gossip while he was housed within you about your human life.”

James could only express himself through pained gasps and wet grunts in response as he barely held onto consciousness through Alastor’s monologue, but pleasant memories of his past reared themselves in his mind. The sunlit days spent on his farm with his barn animals and dogs, running church bake sales with his mother-in-law, and enjoying a beer in the quiet stillness before visiting his wife and the others in the rabbit hutch.

A cruel cackle brought his attention back to the blood-soaked present. Alastor’s voice was almost casual, “I, of all people, understand how living in the rural country provides a certain amount of privacy and how being a member of the local congregation affords the shield of social standing.” Alastor shrugged his shoulders as if he were talking to Mimsy about the good old days up top, however, he straightened himself up and squeezed the frail, pink heart in his large palm.

With a sudden snarl, the Radio Demon morphed his expression into something absolutely frightening, even for a demon, and leaned forward in disgust once again, “I saw how you kidnapped those girls from the surrounding towns. How you raped them like the filthy animal you are and sold the children you stole from them to those traffickers.”

“Not even your own wife was safe from your perverted nature and you lowered her into the role of one of your…rabbits…once she found out the total brutality of your crimes and tried to go to the police.”, Alastor spat with extreme distaste, “I of all men belong in Hell, but I simply cannot stomach those who show no measure of respect for the fairer sex among us.”

Another tight squeeze of the reindeer’s heart calmed the deer’s ever-expanding anger towards the brute and the thought of making it into a stress ball tickled him so that he doubled over with manic laughter. Wiping a tear away from his eye, Alastor once again focused on James and the silent pleas within his victim’s eyes.

“Let’s begin, shall we?”, Alastor purred, “My proposal is that, in exchange for your life, you will feel the same pain that you caused your victims.” His voice lowered and grew colder once more, “The fate that you had planned for my darling doe when you first set your putrid eyes on her in town. To snatch her away to use for yourself and…profit on… from the other males in town.” His shadow hissed from its position amongst the other specters in the vortex at the thought of such torture having been planned for you and its master continued.

“However, you had smelled me on her but were confident in your newfound demonic abilities so you took advantage of the princess’s good graces, something you will thank her for, and decided to take your chances with whatever was awaiting you. Yet we now see how that worked out for you. HA!” Alastor’s antlers elongated as his rage once again built up at the thought of James laying a finger on your perfect skin and he held out his hand, “Either accept this deal and embrace the suffering of those women or I will simply consume your soul, and you will serve me like every other disrespectful wretch that dared to cross me.” He gestured around the void and only then did James notice the eternally wailing faces that made up the walls of the dark funnel. All howling and clawing and climbing over each other in their agony.

James inhaled with all the effort he could muster and dropped his hand as best he could into Alastor’s as a flash of bright green flashed out between them and engulfed the dying reindeer. The only sensation that James could process was the burning of his flesh that seemed to last years and he couldn’t even hear his own screams over Alastor’s victorious laughing, but, before he knew it, the agony had been replaced by an odd feeling in his core. The defeated reindeer remained on his knees as he quickly patted down his jaw and chest to make sure everything was in place and he noticed that he didn’t even have a rip in his flannel shirt nor a scratch to be found on his skin. If not for the cold sensation of the heavy chain wrapped around his thick neck, James could almost put the entire afternoon up to a bad dream.

“What did you do to me?”, he demanded shakily as Alastor roughly hauled him up to his feet by the arm and merely smiled normally, “I suggest you keep our agreement to yourself if you wish to live long enough to find out. Now!”, Clapped the Radio Demon, ”we have guests to humor.”

Alastor could feel Charlie’s demonic energy approaching his position and, after straightening up his already somehow pristine appearance, dispersed the spectral tornado and grinned widely at the incoming princess. “Charlie! Good to see you my dear!”, he began stepping forward with James in tow and slapped the reindeer’s shoulder playfully in response to Vaggie’s flying accusations of a fight.

“Merely having a productive chat, Vagatha, and we required a bit of privacy from the peanut gallery.”, he shrugged leaving Charlie to check a silent James for injuries, “After all, isn’t our fearless leader always preaching communication over confrontation? Just ask the old boy, himself, if you don’t believe me.” Everyone looked towards James for confirmation, including Alastor over his shoulder, however, he only nodded once and quickly made his way inside the hotel. Noticeably walking a bit lopsided, the reindeer completely sidestepped you as much as he could without so much as a glance. Good. Alastor thought and he knew the beta male felt his red gaze as it burned into the back of his retreating head.

While James disappeared within the building the air suddenly felt like it was knocked out of Alastor’s chest and had to subtly stabilize himself with his cane as the heavily sweet musk of your heat finally assaulted his senses. To his delight, you seemed just as enraptured by his scent and barely acknowledged James’s leave or even Charlie and Vaggie running past you after the beaten reindeer. He could see that your face was flushed, your hands fidgeted over the constricting clothes you wore, and your breathing picked up in anticipation with each step he took in your direction. Oh, how he wished he could take his animal mind’s advice and just take you right there where you waited for him on the porch. His spoils of war so to speak.

But…that’s not how this season is going to go, Alastor told himself and tried to take a deep breath to clear the biological fog. That only made the member in his slacks twitch more aggressively, though, as he accidentally took a big gulp of your pheromones and stopped in his tracks before coming too close. You looked at him in confusion and your ears flopped over a bit when you leaned your head over in a silent question. He knew what images were flashing in your mind, but he needed to get control of this situation if anything was going to change.

“Darling, I-”, he began tensely and straightened his shoulders, “I have come to understand that I have wronged you these many seasons that you have spent by my side and I cannot stand for it to continue any longer. I cannot harm my beloved doe anymore and-“, he swallowed thickly to finish as you crept towards him slowly, “and I must admit that I no longer feel that I am worthy of your affection.”

He noticed how your ears slipped back onto your head as the realization of what he was saying churned in your mind (as best it could at the moment), however, Alastor nearly jumped you again as he took in your pouting lips while you pressed yourself against him and inhaled.

The blood was quickly leaving his head to travel south, and He was losing the battle of logic fast so he gripped your shoulders with a huff of effort and gently moved you back from him. Looking into your clouded eyes, he never felt like The Radio Demon and, rather, knew himself as simply a buck gazing towards his mate. A mate he has not treated fairly as she had him and that fact cut him to the soul, but he would redeem himself! Though, not in the way that Charlie would approve of.

Alastor, beginning to massage your slight shoulders, requested, “I’m asking for the chance to prove myself to be the superior choice for, not just this season, but for every season to come as well.” He knelt and took your hand before staring silently up into your face in suspense; knowing full well that you could simply deny him and find whomever you wanted …and he’d have to let you. Despite his misgivings, you merely nodded your head once and teared up just a bit as if you’d been waiting for his confession for years. Perhaps you had. He stood tall before you with newfound determination for his mission and promised to return to your side as soon as it was finished properly.

The Radio Demon immediately leaned forward to kiss your forehead tenderly and melted into the shadows with a vicious smile to locate his newest (unwilling) partner in crime.

***

This one is the longest chapter I've done yet, but I kinda hate it 😅 It's important because it introduces the lead into the last chapter and our motivation to root against James, but I just can't seem to like it (idk if that even makes sense lol), This is the first time I've tried to write that kind of villain story. What did you think?

-S.S.P.R.

@Xalygatorx, @songbirdpond, @bitter-rabittt, @sakuraluna2468, @cinnamon-galaxies, @speedycoffeedelight, @diffidentphantom, @wtf-why-do-i-gotta-do-this, @eris-norwega, @anngray1369, @ladyadrasteia666, @wends, @prime-in-time-and-space, @supeersimpeer, @sirens-and-moonflowers, @type-ink, @fantasyhopperhea, @martinys-world, @apad-ravya, @galaxywolf3, @thoughfullovercreator, @Boogiemansbitch, @helluva-simper, @alastorsgirl48, @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog, @need-a-life-or-grass, @michi-keinz, @milkissesx, @ari42, @valerie-is-in-the-cupboard, @lil-glum, @amariskygal, @strawberryoverlord1893, @cherry-cola-100, @noellebellq, @lettuce-frog16, @junieshohoho, @phoephan-123, @dreamraven13@sweet-radio @littlebluefishtail @ohmylovewhereartthou-blog ,@vxllys ,@chibistar45 ,@sadlilghostt

#hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #hazbin alastor #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x you

100 notes · View notes

ashwhowrites · 2 days ago

Note

i love love love your writing and i have been waiting for your requests to be open!! can you please write a billy hargrove x reader story where he rejects her and then he regrets it and has to grovel?

Like she is super nice and friendly with everybody, and she can even get Billy to soften up to her. She's had a crush on Billy for the longest time like since he's arrives in Hawkins but he always is hooking up with somebody or flirting with somebody else. Then she notices that he's been alone for a couple of weeks and thinks this is her chance so she confesses to him and he lets her down gently because he doesn't feel the same (he so does but in his experience romance never lasts and he could never ever bear to lose her) and so she decides that having him as a friend is better than nothing.

But obviously she can't act the way she acted before and she starts distancing herself from him. No more grabbing his arm for security when the hallways are crowded. No more asking him for rides to and from school. No more chattering in his ear during lunch. Instead, she's doing those things with her best friend Steve or Eddie because they knew about her heartbreak and they're trying their best to be supportive.

And obviously he can tell right away that things are different and he's fighting the urge to shove Steve/Eddie away and take back his place next to you. He's trying to reach out and spend time with you and he doesn't care if he sounds desperate when he's doing so but she keeps blowing him off because she wants to get over him and she thinks he's just pitying her.

He finally snaps one night and sneaks into her room and tells her how he's been going crazy. She apologizes for being distant and says that she's moving on so that they can be friends. And Billy just says screw that and he doesn't care what he said before he just wants HER.

Sorry if this is a lot but I can't wait to read what you do with this!!!

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Relationship guy

Y/N and Billy had a touchy friendship. From afar they looked to be a couple, with the way they held hands, hugged, kissed each other's cheeks, and the way Billy would do anything for her. She was the only person in the world Billy had a soft spot for, that had to mean something.

There wasn't much time when they were apart. Billy was at her house first thing in the morning, the door open as he waited. The way he leaned against his car made her heart race every time. Then they arrive at school, and as usual, everyone is watching. They moved around the school and when people got too rowdy, Y/N would latch herself to Billy's arm.

"I got you," he smiled as he threw his arm over her shoulder. It wasn't the first time and probably wouldn't be the last.

Lunch was Y/N's favorite part of the school day. Not only because of no class but because she got to talk to Billy non-stop for those few moments.

"Do you think you'll win today's game?" Y/N asked, crunching down on Billy's ignored apple.

Billy scoffed, stuffing his face. "Duh, I'm on the team."

Y/N laughed and nodded, "Fair point, and Steve too!"

"Oh yeah because he does a lot," Billy rolled his eyes.

"Be nice, he is my other best friend," Y/N playfully lectured.

"Yeah, but we know I'm better,"

"In basketball or being a friend?" Y/N asked to clarify

"Both, babygirl," he winked.

The bell rang and they packed up their trash. Before they went separate ways for class, Y/N kissed Billy's cheek goodbye.

~~~

Y/N fell for him, of course. She had eyes for Billy ever since he moved to Hawkins, but he didn't have the eyes for her. His eyes looked at every girl that passed by him. Y/N never made a move because he was always sleeping around with a new girl, but lately, he seemed to be alone more than usual.

With his eyes not looking elsewhere, Y/N found a boost of confidence to ask Billy out.

They were lying in his bed listening to music when she turned to look at him. She took in his handsome features, studying how gorgeous he was up close. She watched as his lips formed a smile and he turned to look at her.

"Why are you staring at me?" he laughed, placing an arm under his head and propping himself up. He reached out and placed his arm over her waist. She smiled at the feeling, her heart racing.

"Have you ever seen me more than just a friend?" she asked, her stomach twisted as his smile slowly disappeared from his face.

"What do you mean?" he asked, licking his lips nervously.

She took a deep breath, cuddling closer into his warm body. He hoped she couldn't hear how fast his heart was pounding.

"I like you, Billy. I have for a long time but never said anything. Lately, you've been alone and it got me thinking maybe this is my chance to tell you."

Billy was in awe of her soft voice and the beauty of her heart. The truth was, he did like her. He was alone because no girl could get his mind off of her. She was the only person in his life that made him happy and he wasn't sure if he'd live if he lost her. He never tried to have a relationship so he had zero hope he would treat her the way she deserved.

"I think you are incredibly beautiful, inside and out. You've given my life a whole new purpose and I'm grateful to have you. I'm not a relationship guy and that won't change. I love you and hold a place for you in my heart, but in a friendly way." Billy said gently. He softly rubbed her hip as she sighed.

"If you were a relationship guy, would you go for me?" she asked, moving to look up at him. There was so much emotion in his blue eyes and she wished she could detect it.

"My first and only choice, baby," he said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Are you going to be okay? I really don't want to lose you as my friend," Billy admitted. He feared she'd pull away and he wouldn't blame her.

"Yeah, I'll be okay," she smiled. The rejection slightly hurt but she had a gut feeling Billy wasn't the boyfriend type anyway.

Billy hummed as a response. He moved to wrap both his arms around her, setting his head on hers as she cuddled into his chest.

~~~

Turns out she wasn't as okay as she thought she'd be. Spending all her time with Billy was fun and exciting. But now all she could think about was how badly she wanted more and how it would never happen. The kisses to her cheek that made her heart race were starting to make her stomach sour. And riding with him to and from school felt suffocating as his cologne filled the space.

She realized she would never be able to move on from him if she didn't change things. So, she figured creating a little distance would help her clear her head and heal her heart. Once she felt over him, they could resume their friendship and it wouldn't hurt her anymore.

Y/N got in Billy's car, her mind reeling. She was in deep thought and had been struggling with what to do.

"Steve is going to bring me home today," she said quietly. Billy turned down the music and turned to look at her. But she kept her eyes on the road as he drove.

"Oh, why?" He asked, moving his eyes back to the road. He ignored the ping of jealousy that ran through him.

"I think I need some space from you. Not in a bad way, it's just to help me. We'll still hang out and be best friends. I promise," she smiled. She reached over to place a comforting hand on his thigh.

Billy wanted to do what was best for her, but selfishly he didn't want space. He nodded and focused on the road, he hoped she couldn't see the water filling his eyes as he pulled into the parking lot.

The end of the day arrived and Billy could feel her lack of presence. He walked in the hallways alone, watching as she clung to Steve instead. She didn't sit with him at lunch, but that didn't stop him from staring at her the whole time. He dreaded driving home alone all day and he hated that it arrived. He also hated that her needing space meant everything changed.

He gave her a small wave as she drove by in Steve's car. His heart sped up as she excitedly waved back with a big smile. At least she still cared about him.

~~~

Billy tried to be patient with giving her space but after a week, he was ready to throw in the towel. He had to physically hold himself back from slamming Steve against the lockers whenever Y/N touched him. That was Billy's place. He fought the urge to sit at her new table, and beg her to gossip about her friends, anything to listen to her talk.

He missed driving with her, her smell in his passenger seat was slowly fading.

He sat on his bed as he held the phone to his ear, he hoped with everything in him that she would pick up.

"Hello?"

Billy smiled at the sound of her voice, "There she is, I've missed you," he admitted.

"I've missed you too, Billy," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Want to come over? We can order your favorite and watch those horrible movies you like," Billy offered.

"That sounds amazing, but I can't tonight. I'm sorry."

"That's alright, maybe next time," Billy said disappointed. The call ended shortly after and Billy slammed the phone down. He pulled at his hair as he took deep breaths to calm himself down. He was mad, frustrated, and hurt.

"You okay?"

Billy looked up as hot tears streamed down his face. Max stood at his door with a worried expression, a look he'd never seen her have before.

"I'm fine," he snapped. He walked up and slammed his door. Max didn't take it personally, it was the first time she ever saw Billy cry.

"I know we aren't friends, but it's okay to be upset. It's okay to feel things other than anger." Max said before she walked away.

The more time they spent apart, the more desperate Billy got. The more he called, the more he begged. He didn't care if he sounded crazy or pathetic, all he wanted to do was see her.

She noticed all the attention, and it was hard to look the other way. But she knew she'd never get over the love she had for him if she went back. She couldn't talk to him without getting lost in his eyes, or be in the same car inhaling his cologne. She couldn't touch his skin and not think about how much she wanted to taste it.

She figured he was pitying her, trying to lessen the blow of rejection. She knew Billy cared about her and it was something he'd do, but it didn't help her. It only made it harder.

She went to turn off her lamp when she heard knocking on her window. Only one person went through her window so she prepared herself to see him again.

She quickly fluffed her hair and smoothed out her sleep clothes. She walked over and opened the curtain. She didn't say anything as she unlocked the window and let him through.

"I can't do it anymore. I tried and I want to do what is best for you but I can't do it anymore!" Billy ranted as he paced around her room. "I can't take the distance. It's selfish, I know but I am falling apart here."

"Billy," she sighed, "It's hard now but trust me, it'll help us in the end."

"No, it won't!"

"If we don't do this now, I will never get over you. It'll damage our friendship in the long run. I'll never be able to accept when you get a girlfriend or decide one day to get married. I'll be tortured and unhappy. I'm doing this for the future us," she explained. "This is the only way I'll be happy for you."

"I don't care about future us. I care about us right now. I care about you being in my life right now." Billy begged. She watched Billy walk around the room, tears building in his eyes.

"I can't have you in my life right now!" Y/N argued, "You don't understand how painful it is to be in love with someone who can't love you back."

"What if I can?" he whispered, she felt her anger come to a halt.

Y/N scoffed, "You said it yourself, you're not a relationship guy."

"I don't give a fuck what I said. It was all bullshit, okay? I'm scared and have no idea what I'm doing and I don't know if I'll be who you want me to be, but I don't care. I want you," he confessed. He walked over and placed his hand on her cheek. She felt her breathing pick up as he looked down at her, so much emotion in his eyes.

He leaned in and she followed, turning her chin up as she closed the gap between them. She sighed in bliss as his warm lips worked against hers. He wrapped his arms around her, desperately pushing her body against his. Kissing her was better than Billy imagined, she was sweet and soft. He wanted to beat himself up for waiting so long.

Needing air, he pulled away. He placed his forehead on hers, opening his eyes as he panted against her mouth. "I'm ready to be a relationship guy. I love you."

"I love you too, Billy," she smiled, placing her lips on his.

Billy couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he pulled up to her house. He got out of the car and opened her door. He crossed his arms as he waited for her to walk out.

"There's my girl," he whistled as she walked down the driveway. She rolled her eyes but blushed at the nickname. She greeted him with a kiss, loving the way he wrapped his arms around her to deepen it.

"Good morning to me," Billy said against her lips. She pulled away to smile. She got in the car and Billy followed.

His hand was on her knee the whole drive. Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach ever since they kissed. She couldn't believe she and Billy were in a relationship.

They held hands as they walked into the school. He was happier than ever to have her by his side again, and this time as his girlfriend.

#billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove stranger things #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove angst x reader #billy hargrove angst #billy hargrove request #billy hargrove angst x female reader #ashwhowrites #ashwhowrites Billy Hargrove #billy Hargrove fluff #billy hargrove fluff x reader

118 notes · View notes

the-winter-spider · 1 day ago

Text

Invisible | Part Six

Pairings: Bucky x Reader AU .... eventually lol

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Idiots, angst, Buckys dumb for like no reason at all. Poor steve :(

A/N: Okay im uploading part 7 directly after this cuz yall were patient when i said i was uploading part 6 last night and never did lmao, also the next two are just kinda build ups bucky and reader gonna have some words.........

Masterpost

----

Bucky sighs, running a hand through his hair as he looks at Steve and Sam, who are both waiting, wide-eyed. “Do you remember that party at John Walker’s house? It was a couple of years after you dropped out, Sam.”

Sam’s eyes narrow, thinking back. “Yeah, I only heard about it because Wanda said it got messy. And Steve… you were the one who became the keg stand champion, right?”

Steve smirks at the memory. “Yeah, that was one for the books. But what’s that got to do with anything?”

Bucky looks down, his voice soft, almost reverent. “That night… something happened between us. We’d been drinking, and one thing led to another. We, uh, we…. slept together.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence. Steve’s eyes go wide, and Sam’s jaw drops. Finally, Steve manages, “Holy crap, Buck. You two just… jumped from being best friends to that?”

Bucky nods, a small, wistful smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I’d been in love with her for as long as I could remember. And that night… it felt like everything. I thought maybe… maybe it meant the same to her.” His face darkens, his voice dropping. “But when I woke up the next morning, she was gone. Just… vanished. Didn’t say a word. And after that, she wouldn’t even meet my eyes for weeks.”

Sam shakes his head, completely floored. “So you’re telling us that you two had this whole moment… and then she just left?”

“Yeah,” Bucky mutters, still looking down. “I thought maybe she was spooked, it was a lot, so I gave her some space but…” He trails off sighing, “Maybe she regretted it, or felt ashamed. Hell, I even started to think she was disgusted with herself for… being with me.”

Steve rubs his forehead, staring at Bucky with a mix of disbelief and pity. “So you’ve just… never talked about it? Not once?”

“No,” Bucky says with a bitter laugh. “She wouldn’t, and I wasn’t gonna force her to. I figured if she wanted to pretend it never happened, then that’s what we’d do, yknow id do anything for her”

Sam scoffs, shaking his head. “Buck, everyone’s known she’s been in love with you since forever. She probably thought you saw it as a drunken mistake.”

Bucky stares at him, bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“Your reputation in college, at least when I was there” Sam says bluntly. “She probably thought she was just another notch on your belt. Especially if she’d heard any of those rumours.”

Bucky looks between them, realisation dawning as he mutters, “She knew those were just rumours, were best friends, she knows me better than that, right? She had to have known they were just rumours.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “How was she supposed to know, Buck? Everyone around campus talked about you like you were this heartbreaker, this guy who couldn’t be tied down. Best friend Bucky and relationship you are two different Bucky’s to her… can you blame her for thinking that night didn’t mean anything to you?”

Bucky stares at the floor, his expression twisted with guilt and frustration. “I just… I thought she’d know I’d never do that to her. That she was different, of course she is different it's her, she has to know that!” He clenches his fists. “I thought she was the one regretting it.”

Sam lets out a sigh, leaning forward. “So let me get this straight. You both spent years walking on eggshells, thinking the other didn’t care, and you’re both probably miserable because of it.”

Bucky shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “It just felt safer to leave it alone. I thought it was better to have her in my life as my best friend than risk losing her altogether. I’d rather have had some of her than none at all.”

Steve shakes his head, a small, sad smile on his face. “You two have been dancing around each other all this time. It’s like you’ve been playing some drawn-out, painful game of cat and mouse.”

Bucky laughs, but it’s hollow. “Guess we’re both idiots.”

Sam gives him a pointed look. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Bucky looks up, something vulnerable flashing in his eyes. “I don’t know. I thought I’d missed my chance. But… if she still feels the same, if there’s even a part of her that still cares…”

Steve claps him on the shoulder. “Then it’s worth fighting for, Buck. Don’t let another night slip by without her knowing how you feel, you’ve wasted enough time already”

Bucky’s face hardens with resolve, determination mingling with the lingering fear in his eyes. “You’re right. I have to tell her. I just hope… I hope it’s not too late. You’re a good friend, Steve. Thanks for this.”

Steve musters a small, bittersweet smile. “Of course, Buck. Anything for you.”

Inside, though, a quiet ache flares—a familiar, constant ache he’s learned to bury deep down. Unrequited love is painful enough, but what gnaws at Steve isn’t just his own longing. It’s the years he’s spent watching the two people he cares about most teeter on the edge of something real, only to pull back time and again. He’s seen Bucky’s yearning masked as indifference, her stolen glances that went unnoticed, and all the missed moments that could have been… if only one of them had been brave enough.

To Steve, there’s a nobility in his silence—a duty to let them find happiness, even if it’s not with him. It would be easy to resent Bucky for hurting you, for treating your feelings like a burden. But Steve can’t bring himself to feel anything other than empathy. Bucky’s been as lost as you have, caught in a battle he’s too proud or too scared to admit.

He knows, deep down, that his own feelings don’t matter here. What matters is that they have a chance, a real chance, at the happiness he’s always wanted for you, even if its not with him. And if he has to carry his love quietly, if he has to keep his own heartache in check for them, then that’s what he’ll do.

“Go tell her, Buck,” Steve says quietly, the weight of unspoken words heavy in his voice. “And don’t waste a single moment. You both deserve to know the truth.”

Bucky meets his gaze, nodding with a unsure but trusting smile. He has no idea of the sacrifice Steve is making in this moment, Steve watches him, swallowing the longing and sadness that’s always there but will never be voiced. In his own way, he’s choosing love too—a selfless love that finds peace in seeing her happiness, even if it’s not

with him.

Sam glanced at Bucky, his brow furrowing. “Hold on a second, what about Kate?”

Bucky’s face falls at Sam’s question, the name he’s been trying not to think about suddenly hitting him like a weight in his chest. Kate. Sweet, caring, loyal Kate, who had seen the best in him when he couldn’t see it himself, who had been there quietly beside him, hoping he’d come around.

He hesitates, avoiding his friends’ eyes as he tries to gather his thoughts. “I… I don’t know. Kate deserves the truth too. I thought maybe she was what I needed to finally… to finally move on.” He sighs, the regret heavy in his voice. “But that was just me lying to myself. And she doesn’t deserve that.”

Sam nods, a hint of sympathy in his expression. “Kate’s a good person, Buck. She doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s second choice.”

Bucky looks down, guilt clawing at him. “I know. And I hate that I’ve made her one. She should be with someone who’s all in… and that’s not me. It’s not fair to her.”

Steve studies Bucky’s face, understanding but also concerned. “So, you’re going to talk to her?”

Bucky nods slowly. “Yeah. She deserves to know. I need to be honest with her before I can… before I can even think about anything else.”

Steve claps a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Good. She deserves that much.”

That afternoon, Bucky texts Kate, asking if they can meet up. His heart pounds as he waits for her reply, the thought of ending things with her weighing heavily on his mind. She responds quickly, suggesting they meet at the same little coffee shop from the day before, and he heads there with a mix of dread and resignation.

When he arrives, Kate is already seated at their usual table, a soft smile brightening her face when she sees him. It makes the ache in his chest deepen—he knows that after today, that smile will probably disappear, and he’ll be the one responsible for it.

“Hey,” she says, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. “You sounded serious in your text. Everything okay?”

Bucky nods, though the heaviness in his gaze betrays him. “Yeah, I… I just needed to talk to you about something. Something I haven’t been fair about.”

Kate’s smile fades slightly, a hint of concern clouding her expression. “What is it?”

He opens his mouth to explain, but the words get stuck, the weight of everything catching up to him. “Kate… I don’t know how to say this. You deserve so much more than I’ve been giving you. I haven’t been fair to you. I haven’t… I haven’t been fully here.”

Kate’s face softens as she reaches out, gently placing her hand over his. “Bucky, I know this hasn’t been easy for you. I know you’re… complicated. But I’m here because I want to be. Because I care about you, whether you’re all in or not.”

He shakes his head, guilt gnawing at him. “You deserve better than ‘complicated,’ Kate. I thought I could be the guy you deserve, but I just… I can’t be.”

She watches him for a long moment, and then her voice drops, quiet but sure. “Bucky, I knew what I was getting into when I fell for you. I know you’re still figuring things out, and I can be patient. I can wait if that’s what you need.”

Her words stop him in his tracks. There’s an unflinching loyalty in her eyes, a warmth and steadiness that he’s never fully appreciated until now. She doesn’t look away, doesn’t flinch, and the weight of her gaze makes his chest tighten.

“Kate, I…” he starts, but she squeezes his hand, stopping him.

“Look, Bucky, I know there are things you haven’t told me, things you don’t think I understand. But I’ve seen the way you look at me, and I think… I think we could really have something if you let us.” Her voice trembles slightly, but she holds his gaze, her own eyes filled with a quiet determination.

For a moment, he’s silent, trying to process what she’s offering him. Kate’s hope, her patience, her willingness to wait for him—it’s more than he deserves, more than he ever thought he’d find with anyone. And he realizes, with a pang, that he can’t bring himself to end things with her today. Not with the sincerity in her voice, the openness in her gaze.

After a long moment, he forces himself to nod. “Thank you, Kate. For… for everything…”

She smiles, a relieved smile that makes him feel even worse, but he doesn’t have the heart to say anything more. The truth—the messy, painful truth—will have to wait. For now, he’ll accept her patience, even if he doesn’t deserve it.

---

You sit back on Natasha’s bed, letting out a long sigh, the wine making you feel just the tiniest bit lightheaded as you stare up at the ceiling.

“I can’t go home,” you mutter. “Bucky’s over at Steve and Sam’s tonight but, when he comes home, I… I just can’t face him right now. Not after everything.”

Natasha gives you a soft smile. “Of course, you can stay here. You’re always welcome.”

Wanda chimes in, wrapping an arm around you. “We’ll have a proper girls’ night. Forget about all that for now.”

You smile, feeling a wave of relief. As you settle back, Natasha glances over at you with a knowing look. “So… what about Dean?”

You groan, rubbing your temples. “Oh, God. I completely forgot about Dean.”

Natasha grins. “I can text him, say you got cold feet or something?”

You shake your head. “No, just… leave it. Honestly, with everything that’s happened… I don’t know. I keep thinking… what if Bucky doesn’t feel that way anymore? What if all of that—what I thought we shared—meant nothing to him?”

Natasha sighs, squeezing your hand. “Look, whatever you decide to do, I’m here. I’ve always got your back, babe.”

She pauses, giving you a smirk. “But you know… we’d choose you in the divorce, right?”

You let out a laugh, grabbing a pillow and swatting her with it. “There will be no choosing! And no divorcing! Bucky and I… we’ve been friends since we were five. I don’t know what I’d do if he… if he really was out of my life for good.”

Natasha’s gaze softens. “Then don’t let him be. You’re braver than you think. Just… be honest with him. You might be surprised by what he has to say.”

You fall quiet, her words lingering, filling you with equal parts hope and dread as you lay back, trying to gather the courage for whatever comes next.

The sun is bright, and the streets are bustling as you and Natasha stroll through the city, bags in hand and laughter spilling between you as you move from shop to shop. It feels like old times, light and easy, and after last night’s heart-to-heart, you’re almost… hopeful.

You’re telling Natasha about the cute little coffee shop you spotted around the corner when, out of the corner of your eye, you catch sight of a familiar head of tousled hair. You stop mid-sentence, freezing as you take in the scene just a few yards away: Bucky, hand in hand with Kate, both of them laughing, utterly absorbed in each other.

Your stomach sinks. You watch, feeling your heart twist as Bucky leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her temple, his smile wide and unguarded in a way you’d never been able to see up close until now. He looks… happy. Truly, genuinely happy.

Natasha’s gaze follows yours, her face tightening with sympathy as she watches you take in the scene. “You okay?” she asks softly, though you can tell from her tone that she already knows the answer.

You tear your eyes away, blinking quickly to clear the sting in your eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s… let’s just keep going.”

Natasha squeezes your arm, and the two of you turn, heading back down the sidewalk. But as you walk, a hollow feeling settles in your chest, everything from the night before swirling in your mind—the confessions, the memories, the what-ifs. And now… this.

By the time you reach the next shop, you’ve already made up your mind. Bucky Barnes doesn’t think you’re worth it, and that’s that. Whatever you felt, whatever might have been between you in the past, it’s all in your head.

You glance over at Natasha, forcing a smile. “You know what? Let’s just forget about Friday. I’m not gonna… I don’t want to dwell on it anymore. He’s happy. I’m happy for him. I think… I think it’s time to just move on.”

Natasha studies you, a trace of concern in her eyes, but she nods, letting it go for now. “Okay. We’ll let it go. But… if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here.”

You nod, grateful. And just like that, you tuck the memories away, pushing everything—Friday night, college, all of it—back into a box in your mind.

After a long day of shopping, you and Natasha are finally heading back. She raises an eyebrow at the bags in your hands. “You know, you’re welcome to crash at mine again tonight if you don’t feel like facing him.”

You shake your head, trying to laugh it off. “Nah, I’ve got some work I need to finish up on my computer. Plus, I already paid rent for the month, and you know better than anyone how ridiculous rent is in New York. Can’t avoid him forever, right?”

Natasha gives you a look but doesn’t push it. “Well, you know where I am if you change your mind.”

You thank her and give her a quick hug before parting ways, gathering every ounce of courage as you head home. But when you open the door to your apartment, your heart sinks: Bucky’s there, sitting on the couch—with Kate. She’s nestled beside him, looking as comfortable as if she lives there.

As soon as you step in, Bucky’s eyes shoot to yours, and the intensity in them nearly stops you in your tracks. You can read him too well, even now. In those blue eyes, you see a mix of emotions flickering back and forth—regret, sadness, something that almost looks like relief—but you have no idea which is for you and which might be for Kate.

Kate is the first to break the silence, greeting you with a friendly smile. “Hey! How are you? Did you have a good weekend?”

You put on your best casual smile, keeping your gaze mostly on her and avoiding Bucky’s searching eyes. “Yeah, it was nice. Just got a little shopping done with Nat.” You hold up your bags, laughing softly. “Guess I went a little overboard.”

Kate laughs, glancing at the bags. “Looks like you did some damage! Special occasion or just a treat-yourself kind of day?”

You hesitate, then, glancing between the two of them. “Well, I’ve got a date on Saturday,” you say lightly, shrugging. “Needed something nice.”

“Oh!” Kate’s face lights up. “Natasha mentioned that on Friday. I’m so happy for you!” She’s smiling warmly, but you can still feel Bucky’s gaze piercing right into you, as if he’s trying to read something hidden just beneath the surface. He doesn’t say a word.

You force yourself to look away from him, meeting Kate’s eyes. “Thanks,” you say, giving her a polite nod. “Anyway, I should go put all this away.”

“Sure thing!” Kate laughs again. “Hey, if i dont see you before then, good luck on your date—he’s a lucky guy.”

You manage a smile, your heart twisting in ways you don’t want to acknowledge. “Thanks, Kate. You two have a good night.”

As you turn to head to your room, Bucky finally speaks up, his voice a little rough. “You don’t have to go, you know. You can hang out with us.”

You pause, turning just enough to look at him, this is the longest you’ve gone without speaking to him and the words that come out cut your throat, you shake your head. “No, I’m okay James….thanks, though.”

And with that, you disappear into your room, shutting the door softly behind you. Only then do you release the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, leaning back against the door and closing your eyes as you try to settle your racing heart.

----

The week passed in a fog of work and silence, each day dragging as you went through the motions with an ache in your chest that you couldn’t shake. It felt surreal to be in the same office as Bucky, the silence between you heavy and stifling. The two of you used to share everything—your worries, victories, and endless conversations. Now, there was a chasm between you, one neither of you seemed willing to bridge. Each day stretched endlessly, and this was the longest you’d gone without speaking to him in as long as you could remember.

At first, you tried to keep things normal, focusing on your work, staying in your lane. But the tension between you was like a third person in the room, and it made everything feel unsteady. You couldn’t help stealing glances at him, watching the way he laughed with the others, though even that sounded hollow. You missed the easy camaraderie, the inside jokes, and the playful banter. Now, every moment felt loaded, thick with unsaid words and unspoken longing.

By Wednesday night, you were drained—emotionally and physically exhausted. You’d promised yourself you’d join the group for Wing Wednesday, but as the day wore on, a familiar dread settled in your stomach. The thought of sitting across from Bucky, acting like everything was fine, felt impossible. So, you stayed home, scrolling mindlessly through your phone, wishing you could shake the emptiness that clung to you.

The next evening, desperate to clear your mind, you found yourself at the grocery store. You wandered the aisles, filling your cart with essentials, hoping the routine task would offer a brief escape. You were reaching for a can on the top shelf when a familiar voice broke through your thoughts.

“Hey! You’re alive!”

You turned to see Steve approaching, a wide grin lighting up his face. He pulled his cart up next to yours, his eyes warm with that steady kindness that always made you feel a bit lighter.

“Yeah, just barely,” you replied with a faint smile. “It’s been… a rough week.”

“We missed you at Wing Wednesday,” he said, his tone light but laced with concern.

You sighed, biting your lip. “Yeah, I just… wasn’t feeling up to it.”

Without asking, he reached over and took a couple of your bags from the cart, lifting them effortlessly. “Let me help you with these.”

You walked beside him, the weight of your bags lightened by his presence. The chill of the evening air hit your face as you stepped outside, a reminder that life was still moving around you, even as you felt stuck.

“Thanks, Steve,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

He glanced over, his expression growing serious. “Hey… don’t push the rest of us away. Don’t push me away because of Bucky and his nonsense.”

A sad laugh escaped you, more bitter than you meant it to be. “I’m not trying to, Steve. It’s just… hard. It’s been hard for so long, and… I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

Unshed tears blurred your vision, and you looked down, trying to keep them at bay.

Steve’s expression softened, his voice gentle. “I know exactly what you mean.”

You furrowed your brow, glancing up at him with a mix of confusion and curiosity. “What do you mean?”

For a moment, he seemed to weigh his words, as if deciding how much to reveal. Finally, he sighed, a hint of vulnerability in his gaze. “I’ve been in love with someone too… someone who I know doesn’t feel the same way.”

You felt your heart race, wondering who he could mean. You’d always thought of Steve as your steady friend, the one who was always there. A name popped into your head—Natasha, maybe? She was magnetic, effortlessly commanding any room she walked into.

“Who?” you asked softly, not wanting to pry but unable to help yourself.

He hesitated, his eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place, before glancing away as you approached your apartment door. Ignoring your question, he murmured, “There’s a difference, though.”

“What difference?”

He paused, then looked back at you, a weight of unspoken words in his gaze. “Yours… isn’t unrequited like you think it is.”

You blinked, his words sinking in slowly. “What are you saying?”

Steve held your gaze, his voice firm but kind. “I mean, you don’t see how he feels about you. You’re letting your own doubts twist what’s really there. You think he doesn’t want you, but I can tell you he does.” He reached up, gently wiping away a stray tear from your cheek, his hand lingering for a moment longer than necessary.

You swallowed, your heart racing. “Steve, I—”

He raised a hand, gently stopping you. “Just think about it, okay? Don’t shut me out. I know you’re hurting, but… my life without you in it would feel empty.”

He offered a soft, bittersweet smile, and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze before turning to go, leaving you standing at your door, heart pounding and mind racing.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader angst #bucky barnes ff #james bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader

79 notes · View notes

reallychaoticwoo · 1 day ago

Note

Ok. It's kind of long but. An ateez Yeosamg x fan reader. They go down to the area of the concert day before to get some pics and hang out with some friends. While hanging out the topic of virginity and squirting came about and the reader is the only one in the group who never had sex or even touched herself so she didn't have an idea what squirting was. She was wearing Yeosangs jersey at the time* and as Yeosang and Seonghwa pass through Yeosang hears the girls conversation and notices the jersey. And interrupts them and asks the reader to follow him not telling her where. Etc. He makes her squirt more than once if you don't mind. And gives her mind blowing oral, regular sex and rough. And creampies her? From there he realizes how sensitive she was so he makes her squirt after creampie and does after care

It's alot😔

⛓️ Honestly I LOVE requests that are detailed that way i know im writing what you want🖤 With that being said i did take the liberty of adding some possessiveness in there as well, i hope you dont mind lol! As always, i hope you enjoy and thank you for your support!⛓️

✨️A Tiny Trainee✨️

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

📝Word count: 6,834

⚠️Warnings: MDNI!! cussing, smut: fingering, squirting, cream pie, unprotected sex (wrap it up buttercup), slight Dom Yeo, subish y/n, dumbification?, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, slightly possessive Yeo, ummm lmk if i missed anything i suck at these🖤

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idol(s) in any way‼️

🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤

It was the day before Ateez's concert and you and your friends could not contain your excitement. You all were currently hanging out in the hotel you'd gotten near the arena they'd be performing at so you wouldn't have to worry about traffic before and after the show.

Wanting to make the most of the day one of your best friends, Hana, asked if you guys wanted to go scope out the area and get a better idea of where you'd be spending the majority of your day tomorrow. Of course, you and your other bestie Fae, agreed.

You all get dressed quickly. You decided on your Yeosang jersey, a little black crop top underneath, and a cute pleated white skirt. You paired the outfit with your black converse and pulled your hair up into a simple ponytail. Finally dressed you all make your way out the door and to the arena.

You couldn't lie, the arena looked a bit small from the outside. You knew it wasn't though, considering how many seats had sold for both of days they'd be there. You walked around for a while, noting the enterances and talking about where they'd probably put the lines for tomorrow. You'd passed a small concrete area that seemed like it'd be a great spot for random dance play. Behind the concrete circle there was a small feild where you and your friends agreed there would probably be merch lines. You guys walked around for about an hour before deciding you all wanted to sit down before continuing your quest of mapping out the area like a trio of pirates mapping their next voyage.

Taking a break from your walking, you made your way closer to the entrance of the building where there were a few trees and places to sit. "So, full delusions speaking, but what would you guys do if you got handed a nda for your bias?" Your friend Hana asked. She was always the first to think of the best (and most delusional) case scenario. "Hmm.. Well besides signing it quickly and jumping his bones?" Fae asked, equally as feral and delusional as Hana. "Well obviously. Okay, okay. Let me ask this then, what would you guys WANT to happen if you got a night with your bias?" Hana asked before quickly answering her own question. "Personally, I'd absolutely die if San did a private performance for me. He'd rip the leather strap off his other sleeve before shoving it in my mouth. Obviously he'd have me squirting repeatedly." Hana sighed daydreaming about her answer. Fae giggled at her friend before giving her answer. "I mean.. I bet it would take less than two seconds for Yunho to make me squirt. Between those hands and the fact we all know that man is hung like a horse, I'd gladly scream his name all night. My only want is that he completely destroys me." You laughed at your two extremely feral friends, not really having anything worthy of adding to their complete smutfest.

Hana noticed you weren't really talking and turned to you, "What would you want to happen if you got a night alone with Yeo? I know you're a virgin but you have to have some fantasies." You thought for a moment. "I mean if i'm being honest, I'd like to just get to know him. I dont even know what squirting is... and I'm not entirely sure if i want to seeing as it has you two loosing your minds. He probably wouldn't even want to take someone to his room that didn't know what they were doing anyways. It'd be nice to just talk.. Get to know more about him then whatever the media posts, ya know?"

What you and your friends failed to realize was that Yeosang and Seonghwa just happened to be walking by and had possibly (most definetly) stopped to ease drop on their fans conversation. They hadn't expected you guys to be dicussing all the sexual things your friends would like to do to their members, but couldn't bring themselves to leave as it was just too interesting to pass up. Seonghwa looked to Yeosang when you were talking and nudged his friend playfully. "You heard her, you can't have that sweet little Atiny thinking you wouldn't enjoy her just because she's a virgin." "Well I also can't just take her virginity for shits and giggles Hwa. That's messed up." Yeosang was quick to reply, a look of disapproval painted on his face at his friends words. "So why don't you at least talk to her? She said that'd be her ideal night with you anyways. See where it goes." Yeosang thought it over briefly as you and your friends continued your chat.

"All I'm saying y/n is it wouldn't hurt to just put yourself out there more." Fae said with a sigh. You looked at your friend with defeated eyes. "I know, but it's not really something I take lightly. I'm not going to mess around with just anyone, and I'm absolutely not just handing over my v-card to someone i don't know won't just take it for granted." A muffled cough caught the attention of you and your friends. Quickly turning your head to find the source of the sound, your eyes widened in shock and awe as you spotted Seonghwa and Yeosang standing mere feet away. They walked closer before greeting you and your friends with a polite smile and wave. "Sorry to intrude on your conversation, but my dear friend Yeosang here couldn't help but notice your jersey. We just wanted to stop and say hi to our fans." The taller of the two spoke with a polite smile, but the gleam in his eyes said there was much more to this greeting than he was letting on. Yeosang was desperately trying to hide the blush creeping up to his cheeks as he turned to you. "Hi, I hope we aren't interupting anything.. I just wanted to say hello and ask if you'd maybe be interested in coming with Hwa and me to talk? It's not very often we get to just converse with our fans, and we're not really supposed to be out and about right now."

You looked to your friends before returning your attention to the etheral looking men in front of you. "We'd love that, thank you." You tried to contain your excitment so you wouldn't scare them off but your eyes were practically gleaming in awe as you looked to them. "No offense to your lovely friends, but we were hoping to chat with just you. I hope that's okay? I can get all of you upraded to VIP and into send off as a thank you for lending us your friend for the evening." Seonghwa directed the second half more towards the two girls staring at you eagerly. "We'd love that!! Thank you so much! We will be on our way then. Take good care of our bestie!" Fae and Hana pulled you in for a quick hug whispering in your ear before they pulled away. "We want ALL the details when you get back tonight!! Good luck girl and please for the love of everything have fun!" With that, your two friends were walking away, leaving you with your bias and your bias wrecker. 'Those horny bitches.' You thought to yourself as they disappeared around the building.

"I hope it's okay we stole you away from your friends.." Yeosang said softly as he turned toward you, bringing your attention back to him and Seonghwa. "Honestly, it was perfect timing. They've been hounding me about my uh.. life choices regarding men so it's a nice break. Plus obviously, I'm a huge fan so I'd be dumb to pass up getting to chat with the two of you." You smiled at him and Hwa as you spoke. The taller of the two spared a quick glance at his shorter friend before focusing his attention on you. "About that, I hope I'm not being too forward, but we did happen to overhear some of your conversation. If you had any questions or wanted to try anything we'd be more than happy to... assist." Seonghwa spoke with such effortless tact. His voice like desire itself, and his eyes pure sin. You gulped feeling a bit insecure under the gaze of someone you were positive knew exactly what he liked and what he was doing. Looking to your feet and shifting from one to the other you tried to come up with a reply that wouldn't have you embarrassingyourself further. Thankfully, Yeosang stepped in before you could open your mouth. "Of course we are more than happy to just keep things friendly! My friend here is just a bit... eager to please. Please don't think we would try and pressure you into anything. If I'm being completely honest I'm perfectly happy just getting to know you." You smiled up at him. "We could uh.. see where it goes then. If that's okay?" You prayed he didn't hear the shaking in your voice. "Of course. Now, are you comfortable coming to my hotel room? We really aren't supposed to be out here right now." Yeosang asked, Seonghwa nodded, confirming his younger members words. You smiled at the two before stepping in between them with a bright smile. "Lead the way!"

The three of you made your way back to Yeosang's hotel room with few words. Once you had all made it inside, the two idols made themselves comfortable. Yeosang took a seat on his bed sitting crossed legged; Seonghwa took to the chair at the desk in the corner of the room. "You can sit anywhere you'd like. You don't have to stay standing. We're hoping you'll decide to be here for a while." Yeosang said while gesturing to the bed and the miniture couch that was not too far away in a small sitting area in the room. "Hah, yeah. I guess it would be pretty uncomforable to stay standing." Your nerves were definately getting the best of you. Depsite the rising anxiety of being in such close proximity to the two idols you most certainly had fantasized about, you made your way to the bed, sitting next to Yeosang.

"Well, it's been a while since we've gotten to have an actual conversation with anyone outside of the company, so tell us about yourself." Seonghwa said as he sat forward, elbows resting on his knees. Yeosang turned in his spot to face you as you spoke. "Well, there's not really a lot to tell. I'm in my 20s, I live relatively close by here. I probably have too many hobbies to count.. Umm, I suck at talking about myself.." You started to trail off, embarassment coursing through your body like a tidal wave. "We could ask you questions then if that's okay?" Yeosang offered. "That works for me." You tired to make yourself relax and not seem so tense as you answered their questions.

SH- "I'm gonna ask a couple, so feel free to answer or not answer whatever you want. You said you have a ton of hobbies, can you list a couple of them? Are you more of a homebody or do you like going out? What's your favorite animal?"

Y/N- "Well, I like to draw, dance, sing, crochet, sometimes i make my own jewelry. Basically anything and everything that can be considered artsy or creative. I also read, build legos, have houseplants. I want to think that I like going out but if I'm being completely honest, I really like being at home and reading a good book or doing any of the hobbies I have. And, hmmm, I know it's weird, but my favorite animal is a capuchin monkey. They're insanely smart and funny. But if we're talking your basic house pets though, I don't really have a favorite. I love them all, cats, dogs, bunnies, fish, they're all adorable!"

YS- "That is a lot of hobbies, but it must be really nice having a multitude of creative outlets. I also like reading and plants. Although, I don't really get to have as many plants as i'd like. Do you have any pictures of your plants? I'd love to see them!"

Y/N- " I do! Here let me show you."

It wasn't long before you found yourself more relaxed in their presence. You were now laid back against the headboard of the bed, Yeosang sat next to you but with a modest amount of space between you two. Seonghwa moved closer, now sitting at the foot of the bed criss crossed facing you and his brown haired friend. "I do want to know, why are your friends so adamant about you getting out there more?" Yeosang shot his black haired friend a warning glare at the invasive question. You choked back a shocked gasp and cleared your throat. " They just want me to be happy and think that somehow getting freaky will make that happen." Seonghwa just nodded to himself at your answer, but Yeosang looked up at you curiously. "Why would they think you're unhappy?" His eyes showed genuine concern even though his face remained neutral. "Well, I guess because I'm always the third wheel when we all go out. They both have boyfriends and I don't. Plus I've complained to them before about how I wish I could find someone I felt comfortable enough to be with romantically and intimately. They think i'm holding myself back, but I don't want to feel like i'm settling, ya know?"

The two men nodded at your confession. Naturally Seonghwa was the only one confident enough to speak during the rather heavy moment of silence. "Do you feel comfortable with us?" Yeosang was quick to shut down his older members train of thought. "No offence Hwa, but I don't think that's really appropriate to ask right now." You glanced up at Yeosang then to Seonghwa and back to Yeo. You shakily reached out your hand to the one sitting next to you. To your surprise, he took it. Taking a deep breathe to gather yourself, you replied. "I do feel comfortable with you two BUT.. there's two big problems with that. One, I don't nessecarily want to loose my virginity to two men at once. That seems..uh.. honestly.. really intimidating. And two, I also don't want to have sex with someone i'm never going to see again. I'm not that kind of person. I always thouoght i'd be in a relationship before I ever did that with someone so I don't really know how I feel about that, even if I know the entire fanbase would probably kill me for passing up the two most gorgeous men that have ever walked the earth." Yeosang's blush was bright red and his hand squeezed yours in understanding. Seonghwa, although he tried to hide it, seemed to blush slightly at the compliment as well.

Yeosang looked to the man on the foot of the bed, a silent conversation going on between the two. Before you could apologize for reluctantly turning them down, Yeosang squeezed your hand again and spoke. "Hwa, I'm going to run over to our managers room to see if we can get some food delivered. Will you come with me?" You were suspicious as to why they both needed to go but before you could ask one of them to stay Hwa was already speaking. "Yeah. I'm starving anyways. Pizza sound good y/n?" You nodded, a sweet smile on your face as you leaned back into the pillows. "We'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable!" Yeosang turned to you with a cheeky smile before shutting the door behind them.

"She is considering it, you know. If you weren't so timid you might actually be able to get her to." The eldest spoke as he walked beside Yeosang. "Despite what you may think, that wasn't and still isn't my goal here. She seems like a really sweet girl and we have a lot in common. I was being completely honest when I said i'm more than happy just getting to talk to her." The shorter of the pair replied a bit sharply. "You two do have a lot in common. Like the fact your friends are also tired of hearing you complain about your lack of love." Seonghwa snapped back before letting out a defeated sigh. "Look it's obvious you both are interested in eachother. I don't care if you end up bringing he back to Korea with us if it means you can actually be happy. Just... just don't keep holding yourself back from possible good things." Yeosang just nodded at the eldest's words. He had a point. Yeosang did like you so far. You two have similar intrests, you've been very sweet and polite, albiet a bit timid, during the little bit of time you all talked, and you were stunning. He had to be honest with himself, he's always hoped that one day when he finally got to settle down it'd be with someone like you.

After what seemed like ages, but was really only ten or fifteen minutes, the pair returned to the room. "Pizza should be here in about 30 minutes. I honestly might pass away before it gets here i'm so hungry." Seonghwa whined as he plopped down on the couch nearby. You giggled at his dramatics finding it rather cute compared to his imdimidating seductiveness from earlier. "I think you can make it 30 minutes drama king. Here I was thinking Wooyoung was the most dramatic of you all." You joked. Yeosang choked back a chuckle while making his way to the bed where you still sat, before adding, "Hwa doesn't play about his food. He might actually pass away if it takes too long. But he most definetly can make it 30 minutes." Seonghwa only lazily glared at Yeosang before pulling out his phone to pass the time.

Yeosang scooted further onto the bed so he could make himself comfortable. "Want to watch a movie while we wait?" He asked. You smiled at him nodding your head. "Heck yeah, movie and pizza is my kind of hang out." You giggled, but internally you were cringing at yourself. Yeosang noticed and quickly asked, "What's your favorite movie?" You thought for a second. "That's hard cause there's so many good ones. Have you ever seen The Fifth Element. It's a bit older, but I love it. It's a si-fi movie and there's a scene in it with an opera singer and her voice is absolutely mesmerizing." Yeosang's eyes sparkled at how excited you were telling him about the movie. "I haven't seen it before, let me see if I can find it so we can watch it." You couldn't contain the giddy smile that spread across your face at the fact your bias was eager to watch one of your favorite movies with you. You felt like you were dreaming. "Found it!" He shouted triumphantly as he pulled up the movie on the TV facing the bed. Pressing play, he smiled at you before leaning back into the pillows and making himself more comfortable.

"You know, we could..uh.. would you want to.. maybe come cuddle?" Yeosang asked looking at you out of the corner of his eyes trying to hide the embarassment spreading across his face. You blushed at his question, but scooted yourself up next to him laying your head on his shoulder. Seonghwa, who was still sitting by himself on the couch glanced over at you two cuddled up together and smiled to himself like a proud mother whitnessing her son's first date.

As you two laid side by side, your head on his shoulder, you couldn't help but stare at the man next to you. He was gorgeous, etheral, like something otherworldly. You couldn't bring yourself to fully comprehend how in the world you ended up next to him in his bed watching your favorite movie, but you weren't complaining. Maybe in a different life Yeosang would be the one you gave up your virginity to, the one you trusted to not leave you. Maybe in a different life he could be the one you ended up with. Maybe.

A knock at the door shook you from your thoughts. Seonghwa shot up like lighting from his seat and answered the door. Grabbing the food from their manager, he said thank you before shutting the door and turning around to place the pizza on the table in the sitting area. The gigantic grin on his face at the sight of the food was priceless and had you giggling to yourself. "He really does love food." You said, turning your head to look at Yeosang. He let out a soft giggle himself, his shoulder lightly moving your head as he laughed. You looked at him with such softness his heart skipped a beat. "You know, I felt you staring at me a second ago. Care to share what you were thinking?" He teased. You hummed in consideration. "Oh, you did? Uh.. nothing really. I was just thinking." "Uh huh, I figured as much. Tell me what you were thinking about." You glanced over to the man stuffing his face full, praying he was too engulfed in his gluttonous love affair to be listening. Looking up at Yeosang you sighed. "Okay but please don't make fun of me... I was just thinking about how if things were different and we met on normal terms that this would be a great first date. How if you weren't an idol who will obviously have to leave in a couple days, that we could maybe actually have a chance at becoming something down the road. It's stupid, I know.." Something inside you almost whimpered at the truth that was inevitable, but you were determined to make the most of the time you have now. "I don't think that's stupid at all. And who's to say we couldn't continue to get to know each other?" You wanted to laugh in his face. There's no way he could think that'd be realistic, but the hope in his eyes said he very much did.

The two of you had made your way to the sitting area. Yeosang claiming the spot next to Seonghwa, and you sitting on the floor in between his legs. "You don't have to sit on the floor ya know?" He said looking down at you. You tilted your head back to meet his eyes and asked, "Well where do you suppose I sit then? You two take up the entire couch." He chuckled at your sassiness and reached down to lift you onto his lap. "You could sit here. That way I don't have to feel all lonely." He replied, earning him a punch on the arm from Hwa who stared at him like he just committed the biggest act of betrayal. "I am literally right here. But I'm glad to see you two finally opening up more. It's actually quite adorable." The matching blush that appeared on your faces only proved the eldest's words rang true.

After quickly eating together you all made your way back to the bed to continue the movie. Before pressing play you and Yeosang filled Seonghwa in on what he'd missed while he was impatiently waiting on the pizza. After catching him up, you resumed your movie, and your cuddling. Once again, you found yourself sparing numerous glances at the man beside you. The butterflies in your stomach fluttering wildy at his proximity, at the fact you were still here with him and Seonghwa and it felt so natural. Seonghwa, feeling a bit left out and lonely scooted closer to you hoping he could join in on the cuddles. Unbeknownst to you Yeosang was quick to glare in his direction, a silent declaration to back off. What you did notice though, was how the brunette pulled you closer into him, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on the top of your head. Seonghwa took it for what it was. Yeosang had finally made his decision, even if he wasn't fully aware of it himself. Seonghwa faked a yawn before looking over to the two of you, "Alright you two, I'm gonna head to my room and get ready for bed. Y/n thank you for hanging out and letting me get to know you some. I'll see you tomorrow at the show! G'night Yeo." You said your goodbyes as Seonghwa made his way towards the door. Before he closed the door behind himself he shot his younger member an encouraging wink.

Grabbing your phone for the first time tonight you checked the time, 10pm, and noticed several messages from your friends.

Hana: SOOOO how's it going???

Fae: Girl at least let us know youre alive you can fill us in on the rest later

Hana: I hope your lack of reponce means youre enjoying yourself ;)

The most recent message from a few minutes ago being came from Hana. "Are you coming back tonight or do we need to plan a meet up for tomorrow?'

You looked to Yeosang who quickly noticed the expression on your face. "Your friends message you?" A sigh and a nod, "Yeah they're wondering when i'll be back and it's getting kind of late. I should probably be heading out.." Yeosang's heart quivered at the thought of loosing your company so soon. He wasn't ready for this time together to end, and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't think he'd ever be ready. "You could stay... Ya know, if you want to of course. We haven't even finished the movie and it'd be a shame to have to cut our date short." You glared at him through your lashes, a faint smile spreading across your lips. "Date?" He returned the smile and interlaced his fingers with yours. The simple action sending your heart into a frenzy within your chest. "Yes, date. If you're okay with it being one. I'd like this to be the first of many." You held back your initial reaction to ask him how that would work, how you two would even be able to have more dates. Instead, you squeezed his hand and smiley brightly, your cheeks red and sore from happiness. "I'd love that. Let me text my friends and let them know I'll meet them tomorrow then." He nodded. You quickly typed out a message to your friends, 'Hey, I'm staying the night. I will tell you guys everything tomorrow i promise! We can meet in the lobby in the morning. I'll ttyl!'

Cuddling closely to Yeosang, his arm around you, your head on his chest, your leg draped over his, you felt a pang of want somewhere deep inside you. Deciding to act first for once you looked up at the beautiful man with need in your eyes. "Yeosang..." You whispered softly. He turned his head to look at you, confusion, and something similar to desire swimming in his eyes. "Yes, beautiful?" You couldn't help the immediate blush that dawned on your face. "I...I...I'm comfortable with you.." You couldn't maintain eye contact, looking at his chest as you waited for whatever his response may be. He grinned, softly, sweetly, and lifted your chin so you'd meet his gaze. "Are you absolutely sure?" You gulped, fighting your natural instincts to back out. No. You wanted this, him, it felt right, every single thing about it felt right. "Yes. I'm sure." He nodded and leaned in to take your lips in his own. He pulled back only slightly before he whispered, "Good, I am too."

Before you could so much as question what he meant by that, his lips were crashing against yours yet again. Soft. They were so soft and plush against your own like they had been perfectly made to kiss you and only you. His hand grazed down your side finding its resting place on your hip, his other found purchase at the nape of your neck pulling you closer to him. The smallest of whimpers escaping your lips only to find a home in his. He pulled back to catch his breath, his thumb rubbing gently against your hip. "Lay back for me beautiful. I'll be gentle I promise, and we can stop whenever you want okay?" You nodded as you moved to lay on your back in the center of the bed. Nervousness and excitement washing over you in a melody of increasing desire. Yeosang made his way above you, straddling your hips as he leaned forward to claim another kiss. "Are you okay with me taking off your skirt?" His eyes were soft, caring, and patient. "Y..yes. Please do." You managed to say, already breathless from the rush of emotions you'd long been afraid of letting yourself feel.

Yeosang ever so gently moved his thumbs under the waistband of your skirt. A tingle ran down your spine at the whisper of touch as you lifted your hips enough to let him glide your skirt and underwear down your legs. As the clothing hit the floor he slowly kissed his way up your legs. Placing lingering kisses to each leg slowly moving closer and closer to the place you were now aching most. You absently mindedly spread your legs, a simple but much-appreciated invitation. Two more kisses were placed on the uppermost part of your inner thighs, and Yeosang stopped, hovering right over your needy bud. His eyes met yours, a silent question as if to once again ask if you were sure. The barely audible "Please" that escaped your mouth was all he needed. He placed a soft kiss on your clit before slowly licking it in short precise flicks. The moan that escaped him at the taste of you had your body shuttering beneath him. His kitten licks turned into full-blown laps as he devoured your virgin cunt like it was his last mean. His tongue moving in long lines through your folds before darting inside your walls. You were already lost in pure bliss, a feeling of a spring getting ready to snap slowly building within your core. Yeosang reluctantly pulled himself back so he could insert a finger. Starting slowly, he pumped it in and out at a snail's pace. "Fuuuck.." Your back arched into the feeling as you whimpered beneath his touch. Leaning down to place another gentle kiss on your clit while he slid in a second, then third finger. His pace slowly increased as he found the spongey spot that would have you coming apart for him. Continuing his pace, he moved his thumb to your clit applying gentle pressure as he rubbed in circles. He kissed his way up your body, stopping only long enough to pull your crop top over your breasts so he could kiss them too. He kissed up as his fingers fucked you faster and faster until he kissed your neck and whispered in your ear. "Do you even know how beautiful you sound right now? How fucking good you taste? Fuck... you're going to break me.. and I'm going to let you." His deep whisper echoed through your body like a catalyst that set the spring in your core loose. Your walls clenched down on his fingers as your eyes snapped shut and your world went white. The moan that escaped you was nothing short of sinful, and he only wanted to hear it again and again. As the waves of pleasure and release finally subsided, you opened your eyes, trying to take in your surroundings and bring yourself back to your body.

By the time you were fully past your out-of-body experience, you saw Yeosang at the foot of the bed taking off his soaked clothes. "D..did I.. what was that?" You asked. He only smiled widely as he replied, "You squirted. I can't wait to make you do it again." The tingle that went through your body felt like lightning at his words. You couldn't wait to do it again, for him, because of him, you were far from done. You sat up to remove your jersey and crop top before dropping them to the floor. Yeosang was quick to pick up the jersey though, handing it back to you. "Put this back on, please. I want... I want to see you in it when I finish making you mine." You shivered at his words as you put the jersey back on, leaving it unbuttoned.

Without so much as another word, he was back on top of you, lips against yours, hungry yet patient. His only goal was to make sure you enjoyed yourself. That's what he cared about most, your pleasure. You couldn't help but glance down in between heated kisses, taking him in. He was huge. Way bigger than what you thought he would be, and thick. Your walls clenched around nothing at the thought of him claiming your pussy as his own. Molding your walls to fit him and only him perfectly. As if he could read your thoughts, he smirked and grabbed his generously sized member, sliding it through your slick folds before lining it up with your entrance. You bucked your hips forward, a wordless plea. One that he happily answered as he slowly, painstakingly slowly, inched his way in. He let out a groan as he fully sheathed himself inside."Fuuuckk, you feel so good. So perfect." Your walls clenched around his length as he spoke. He took his time with you, his strokes long, deep, precise. Planting kisses down your neck, your shoulders, your chest, to your perfect tits. You were sensitive but hungry. Finally understanding why your friends would go hardcore feral over their fantasies. You were living a fantasy of your own right now but you wanted, no, needed more. You slid your arms up his back letting your nails gently graze his muscles on their way back down. Again, you repeated the motion but clawed slightly harder. A whine escaped your mouth as you begged for more. "Y- Yeosang p..please.. fuck.. I need more. Please" His soft attentive gaze turned borderline sinister as he grabbed your hips pulled himself out and swiftly flipped you onto your stomach. Lifting your hips so your ass was on full display before spreading your legs and snapping back into you without warning.

You screamed his name at the sudden intrusion, painful pleasure rushing through you causing your toes to curl. He only took that as a sign to continue his torturous snaps, hitting all the right spots, his tip kissing your cervix with each thrust. "So fucking perfect for me. You're taking me so fucking well doll, I could stay here all night buried in this perfect little cunt." You practically purred at the praise. His hand snaked around your front to grip your throat pulling you to your knees, your back flush against his chest. He nipped and sucked at your neck as his grip around your throat tightened. Your walls constricted, your eyes shut, your release so eminent. Just as your body started trembling he reached his other hand around to rub small swift circles on your throbbing clit. "Fuck me... you keep choking my dick like that and I'm gonna bust before I can pull out sweetheart." His release threatened to burst as he lost himself in your warm slick sex. "So don't. Cum in me Yeosang... please. I want you to fill me up..already so full want your cum too.. please.." You couldn't help how pathetic your babbling sounded. You needed him, you needed this, so fucking much. His brutal thrust only became more frantic, hitting deeper and deeper, his fingers on your clit matching his thrusts. You arched further into him, legs shaking furiously, your cunt repeatedly tightening around his dick. "F-fuck...i..g'na..ahhh!" Your voice cracked as you reached your peak. Your orgasm hitting you like a hurricane, your eyes shut as you lost your focus, stars swimming around in your eyes. Yeosang pumped only two more times before your orgasm pulled him over the edge and he was burying himself all the way inside you as he spurt hot ropes of cum deep inside your spasming walls.

Yeosang slowly helped lean you forward pulling out as you laid face first against the bed. You combined release coating his dick and leaking out of your spent pussy as he helped you turn to your back. "I can't believe how sensitive you are... making you squirt could get dangerously addictive, doll." You absent-mindedly hummed in response still reveling in the feeling of floating as you slowly came down from your high. He smirked at how fucked out you looked laying on his bed with eyes still hazy and a spent grin across your lips. "I'm gonna go get some things and then start us a shower. I'll be right back beautiful." You blushed at the term of endearment like he hadn't already called you a few like he hadn't just fucked you senseless. "I don't know if it's the post-orgasm brain talking or the fan mentality, but I'd say you're treating me much nicer than you should be considering you'll be leaving in two days."

The look he gave you was nothing short of disappointed, maybe even a bit pissed. "Me leaving soon has nothing to do with what happened tonight. I thought you'd realized that before we had sex, but since you haven't I guess now would be a great time to tell you. Seonghwa left when he did not just because he was tired but because he went to talk to management and the other members for me. I really like you y/n and I absolutely plan on seeing you again so we worked out a couple of options so you could pick whatever you're most comfortable with. You could come back to Korea with me and we can either set you up a room in the dorms or get you your own place. Or you can stay here and I'll pay for your travel to come and visit as often as you'd like so we can continue to see where things go." Your mouth was agape as you blinked your eyes trying to process what he'd just said to you. The tears in your eyes threatened to escape and you looked at the man before you. "Y..you would do that.. for me?" He stepped towards you and lifted your chin until your lips were mere centimeters apart. "Yes. I absolutely would. You don't have to decide right now, but I do hope I get an answer before we have to leave." His lips met yours in a tender kiss before he moved to get the shower started.

Finally in the shower, after some much-needed help from Yeosang, you leaned into the warm water letting it fall over your body. You took a moment to enjoy the way your body relaxed as the water cascaded down. Once you looked at Yeosang, your heart started singing. How could this man cause you to feel like this within mere hours of knowing each other? Sure, you've been a fan for years, but you were sure that what you saw wasn't always who he was. And, it wasn't, it was so much better. "I think, I think I want to come back with you. It'll be a little difficult figuring out what to do about my lease and all my things, but I've always wanted to leave the States anyway. Plus if this goes as well as I think it will I don't want to be asking you to pay for me to come and see you every weekend." He chuckled and wrapped his arms around your waist. "Don't worry about your lease and all of that, I'll get it handled. The only thing left to figure out is if you want to stay in the dorms with me or would you prefer your own place nearby?" You faked being deep in thought for a moment before answering, "Well that depends, don't you think I'd be a little fast-moving to have someone you're not even dating living with you?" It was his turn to pretend to think. "I suppose it would be a little weird but that shouldn't be a problem if you say yes." You shot him a curious look, your eyes narrowing as you asked, "Say yes to what?" He pulled you flush against him, his hands resting on the small of your back. "It's definitely moving fast but I don't care if you don't. I think this could be something really amazing. Will you be my girlfriend?" You kissed him so fast he stumbled a step back before steading the two of you. "Yes!"

OBLIGATORY YEOSANG TAGS: @evis-gossip @yeosangcutie0615

#ateez x reader #ateez #yeosang x reader #yeosang fic #yeosang fluff #yeosang smut #yeosang #idol yeosang x atiny reader #yeosang x y/n #yeosang x you #seonghwa fluff #sanghwa #sanghwa x reader #seonghwa #ateez fanfic #yeosang fanfic #yeosang hard hours #yeosang hard thoughts #yeosang request

44 notes · View notes

quinnysnursery · 7 hours ago

Note

could you write something with reader and cg!Matt where she has accidentally hurt herself (broken bone or something) and it triggers her (abusive household filled with times she has broken bones in the past) to regress to an age of around 2 or 3 and she's terrified to regress while at the hospital and then eventually she's still regressed while Matt takes her home and then maybe its just super fluffy and cute and with lots of physical touch and nicknames?

[🩹] sticks and stones can break my bones, but you would never hurt me | matt sturniolo one-shot

paring : cg!matt sturniolo x fem!little!reader

summary : an unfortunate incident leaves you and your caregiver struggling with the ghosts of your past

warning/extra tid-bits : ANGST FOLLOWED BY FLUFF, injuries, blood, stitches, talk of abusive/neglectful childhood, hospital trips, matt and y/n are dating outside of regression- this does not make age regression nsfw, ptsd, i think that's all!! plz let me know if there is anymore!!

word count : 1,979 + not proofread

divider credit : umm i found all the photos on pinterest :3 (line from @mikeykuns)

a/n : kinda strayed from the request just a bit but i hope you still enjoy it :)

Matt cursed under his breath as he slammed his foot on the gas- much too full of adrenaline to care about traffic laws.

Your cries and sniffles echoed throughout the car, your shoulders racking as you attempted to muffle your cries.

He’d been preoccupied on something that, in hindsight, was not important at all. Blissfully unaware of his little’s attempt to cut an apple in the kitchen. He felt absolutely terrible- like he was the scum of all caregivers.

Beside him in the passenger seat, you were trying to focus on keeping the dish cloth wrapped tightly around your bleeding hand. Your caregiver was talking, but you couldn’t hear him- flashbacks of your childhood had already wrapped around your brain, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything else.

Your childhood was far from a happy one; filled with constant yelling, crying and on occasion, injuries.

It wasn’t rare that your younger self got into something you shouldn’t- whether that be by climbing a tree to escape your screaming parents or accidentally burning yourself while attempting to make dinner for you and your younger siblings.

It was safe to say you’d had your fair share of hospital visits in your youth. It’d been years since you had to be driven to the emergency room, it wasn’t really something you, or anyone, enjoyed.

Now though, you were sitting in the passenger seat of Matt’s van with a blood-stained dishcloth wrapped tightly around your hand. You’d asked Matt to slice up an apple, but he’d responded with a simple “in a moment.”

To anybody else, it would’ve been easy to wait but you had been regressed in the moment and it was not easy to wait. Nor did your regressed-self believe it would be a “moment”. Your parents had always said they’d cook dinner, “in a moment”- only to fall asleep and leave you and your siblings hungry.

The injury occurred when you, in the haze of littlespace, had decided you could slice your own apple. The pulsing pain in your hand tauntingly reminded you that you could not.

God, you were such an idiot. You knew Matt was better than your parents, that’s the whole reason you entrusted him with the responsibility of being your caregiver. If you had just listened, you wouldn’t be in this position right now.

You still couldn’t process what Matt was saying, but in the midst of trauma-response plagued thoughts; you spoke.

“I’m sorry, I…I don’t even know what I was thinking.” You stammered, voice hoarse from crying. Matt furrowed his brows as he exited the freeway, turning to face you for a split second.

“What?” He asked, baffled at the fact you were sorry. He was sorry! He was the one who’d neglected his responsibilities as a caregiver for some stupid social media thing.

“I’m sorry. I…I know it was…it was a stupid thing to do.” You admitted, fresh hot tears burning your eyes- the sensory only adds to the stinging pain from the injury on your hand.

Matt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t just met you yesterday, of course he knew of your past and the habits you still carried from your trauma- but it had been months since you apologized for something that was so blatantly not your fault.

“Sweetheart, I’m not mad.” Matt said, his words continuing to fall on deaf ears.

The brunette man didn’t have much time to continue to reassure you, as he’d just pulled into the nearest parking spot he could in front of the emergency room.

Matt jumped out of the van, rushing over to your side door and helping you out. His heart broke at how lifeless you appeared. There were no small smiles, no commenting on the flowers planted outside the emergency room- nothing.

Just you, shuffling beside Matt trying to make yourself as quiet as possible.

It broke him that he’d caused this for you. If he’d simply held off on trying to find photos for Nick’s stupid photo dump, you’d be happily at home munching away on your apple slices.

“Sir?” The receptionist asked, snapping Matt out of his self-pitying thoughts. “She uhm- she…she needs stitches.” Matt explained, motioning to the dish towel he’d panicky-wrapped around your hand before rushing you into the car.

The receptionist nodded diligently, asking for your name and Matt’s relation to you.

“Y/n L/n…and he’s my boyfriend.” You spoke up, earning another nod. Matt anxiously looked around, adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

“You two can follow Nurse Buckley to an exam room,” The receptionist pointed to a female nurse dressed in sage-green scrubs, smiling toothily at the couple.

“C’mon sweetheart, we’ll get you stitched up in no time.” Nurse Buckley promised, leading you two to a secluded exam room- Matt helped you onto the uncomfortable bed, you mumbled out a “thanks”.

You weren’t mad at him, not at all. It had been your own stupid decision to attempt welding a knife while regressed, not Matt’s. You didn’t really understand why you felt so…small.

Not in the regression way though, you wouldn’t dare regress in a hospital- terrified of what your little-self would think.

You felt small in a completely different sense, like your words carried little weight on the world. Despite Nurse Buckley and Matt being in the room with you, you felt shunned away from everyone.

It was then that it dawned on you, you’d triggered some sort of PTSD haze. A trauma response.

Sadly, the realization didn’t fix it- it only made you feel deeper shame.

“Y/n?” Nurse Buckley called out, grasping your attention. “D’you feel okay hun? You don’t appear to have lost too much blood but if you feel dizzy-”

You shook your head, “I don’t like hospitals.” You told the nurse, earning an understanding nod. “I understand.” Nurse Buckley looked towards Matt before meeting your eyes once again, “If you want your boyfriend to sit with you on the bed, I won’t tell.” She smiled cheekily.

You flashed her a small inauthentic smile. Matt noticed- the nurse didn’t.

“I’ll be right back, need to grab gloves.” Nurse Buckley told Matt, who nodded.

After the nurse left the room, Matt went straight back to apologizing.

“Hey…baby, look at me.” Matt cooed, carefully sitting in front of you on the stiff hospital bed. Your eyes shot up to meet Matt’s, you hated that.

That wasn’t how you behaved around Matt. With Matt you were playful and softhearted- right now, your stupid brain was forcing you to act like a scared child.

“Can you take a breath for me? You’re shaking.” The brunette boy’s voice was soft as silk as he brushed his fingertips against your tear-stained cheek. Those words broke the dam.

Your face wrinkled up as you began crying once more, painful memories playing on repeat in the back of your mind.

Matt’s heart broke for you, “Oh sweetheart…can I hug you?” He asked, you nodded quickly- wanting nothing more than for this awful haze to go away. As soon as permission was given, Matt’s arms wrapped around you tightly- careful to avoid your injured hand.

Your caregiver shushed you, rubbing soothing circles into your back. “I know, this must be so scary for you- right?” Matt cooed, you nodded into his neck.

The fact your brain had decided to cope with a scary-situation in an unhealthy way combined with Matt’s soothing touch and voice, you felt a familiar safe, fuzzy, headspace lingering near.

No.

You couldn’t regress. Not in a hospital. Maybe you would consider it if your littlespace wasn’t as young as it was- but sadly, that wasn’t the case.

Matt had been your caregiver for the better half of a year and in that year, he’d come to recognize the signs of an upcoming regression. The way you melted into a hug like a small child would, how you hid your face deeper into the crook of his neck- trying to bury yourself into his skin.

“Feelin’ tiny?” Matt asked, lowering his already soft voice. You shook your head, trying to convince yourself that you weren’t. Matt frowned, pulling away from the hug and gently lifting your chin to make your eyes meet his.

“Sweetheart…what’s goin’ on? It’s okay to be tiny, I’ll keep you safe.” Your carer cooed, rubbing the pad of his thumb against your cheek. You whined, feeling the fuzziness grow over your mind more.

“Alright! Let’s get you sewn up and on your way!” Nurse Buckley’s words washed a whole new wave of anxiety over you.

The stitches were not a fun experience. Even if Nurse Buckley had given you a local anesthetic, just the thought of a needle going in and out your skin was enough to make you bury your face into Matt’s sweater.

Now though, you were both home with strict instructions to “take it easy”.

And take it easy you would, because you were currently sitting atop the couch- various fluffy blankets surrounding you as Gravity Falls played on the television.

You smiled gently- feeling much better than you had earlier- as Matt came back to the living room, a small pink bowl full of apple slices. Your heart warmed as the sight, eyes watering with love.

“Hey…what’s going on?” Matt asked, quickly setting the small bowl onto the coffee table and crouching in front of you. You shook your head, wiping your eyes with your uninjured hand. Matt frowned softly, still feeling guilty from the incidents that took place earlier in the day.

“Do you not want apples anymore? I…I can get you something else? Or, order something?” Matt offered frantically, causing you to shake your head once again. “No…Matt this is…you’re so sweet.” Your voice broke as you launch yourself into your carer’s arms, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

Matt sat in shock for a moment before latching onto you, pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve cut up the apple when you asked.” Matt said, ashamed of his actions. You furrow your brows, pulling away from the hug- “What? No, I’m sorry. It…it was a stupid decision.” You said, ashamed of your actions.

Matt’s brows mimicked yours, knitting together in confusion. “No. I’m…I’m your caregiver, I’m supposed to look after you and I failed that. I’m sorry.” Matt explained firmly.

You smiled at your caregiver, feeling the scared little girl inside of you heal.

Matt pulled you back into a hug, running a reassuring hand up and down your back. You felt the familiar fuzzy feeling from earlier return, but this time- you were more than happy to welcome it, especially after this stressful day.

Matt realized this instantly, his smile growing. “C’mon sweet girl, I think this show is too big for you.” The brunette cooed, grabbing the remote off of the coffee table and finding a much more age appropriate cartoon for you.

You hummed excitedly, resting against your caregiver’s chest- eyes heavy with sleep.

Matt hummed along to the theme-song of the cartoon, earning soft giggles from you. The two of you sat tangled together, a pile of fluffy blankets keeping both of you cozy, warm and safe.

You whined softly, rubbing your tired eyes with a balled fist. Matt cooed softly, pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head- pulling you closer.

“How’s your hand feeling?” Matt asked, earning a soft shrug from you. You lifted up your hand, pout on your lips.

“Dada ‘ss it.” You murmured, giving your caregiver your award-winning puppy dog eyes. Matt’s lips curled upwards at your words, pressing a gentle kiss to your hand- hoping his caregiver-magic would help the wound heal faster.

“I’m really sorry sweet girl,” Matt apologized for a final time. You thought for a moment before snuggling further into Matt’s chest, “...’s okay. Still’da best dada ever.” You smiled.

taglist !! :

@mattssturnz @littlestar44 @graceslittlecorner @zivall

@hrtz4alex2211 @bimbob1tch @sturnsxplr-25 @cherry-red-heart

@pr3ttyf4wn @frlinbruh @jazminepetit-homme @raynaaxx

@tyummyz @starri-nightss @cyberskulzzz @nicksbestie

@urfavbestiee @nicksloverrr @babybatxxx @ivysturnss

@natedoeswife @blahbel668 @nicksloverrr @flow3rsturns13

@pkfferoo @pixxiies @mattsturnswhore @17welch17 @pinksikhewei

@v33angel @conspiracy-ash @hoes4matthew @elislytherpuffsturn

@mattsturnsgirlie

29 notes · View notes

miz-chase · 21 hours ago

Text

Ok but younger student Brennan au aka wouldn’t it be great if she was too feral for Booth to handle

In summary, please picture younger, dissertating Brennan, who is just as superior, unimpressed, and self important, but even more impulsive, violent, callous, unprofessional. Totally unaware of and indifferent to the legal process. Like amplifying all her best/worst traits of S1. She knows best, she can solve this case on her own, she goes after Judge Hastings and slugs him of her own volition.

Booth only finds out about this new evidence tech consultant the FBI squints hired when he gets the call to bail her out of jail. He has enough going on right now, what with his new son, his gambling problems, his low status at work, and that simmering anger he can’t quite seem to shake. The last thing he needs is this wildcard kid squint who has appointed herself judge and jury. Also, where the hell did she get a gun?

He does his best to disentangle the FBI from this kid, but she gets under his skin. She calls him right out, correct in the accusation that he’s too cowardly to push the investigation into the judge because he’s too powerful. She insists her evidence is both good and clear. “Be a cop,” she says, before shoving away from him and stomping off. He may have fired her, but somehow she’s the one who ends up on top. Metaphorically. Not that he’s thought about it literally. Much.

Her words get the better of his common sense, he goes after the judge and, yeah, it turns out her evidence is good.

When he tries to hire her back, she’s too proud to accept it.

Her boss, this smug dickhead Dr. Stires, intercedes and tells Booth off for wasting his student’s time. Booth does not like how he talks about Brennan at all, more possessive owner than mentor. The FBI is able to work from Brennan’s notes to rebuild most of the case.

He tries again to catch her, waiting outside her apartment one night with an armful of Chinese food, a bottle of scotch, and his best charmer smile. The way she tells him off would have hurt more if she didn’t look so damn young. Still, she lets him in. They drink too much. They spend the night together.

The next morning it’s impressive how she manages to be that hungover while still being so articulately furious with him. Also, so very loud. She throws him out in the early morning, swearing she’ll never speak to him again.

The throbbing in his head and his dinged dignity makes him yell back at her through the locked door, but it’s no use. He can hardly string a sentence together while she’s composing a full lecture series on why he’s “detestable.”

He swears he’ll never see her again, but even then, he knew he’d do anything to get her back.

He had to stop getting himself into these situations with women.

Apparently her and her professor are leaving on a trip to Guatemala. It wouldn’t be an abuse of power to get his buddy at Homeland Security to put her on the no-fly list, would it?

#bones tv #booth x brennan

21 notes · View notes

f1tales · 1 day ago

Text

i was enchanted to meet you - cs55

i was enchanted to meet you || prologue

next part

pairing: carlos sainz x singer!ofc

summary: carlos and lennon meet in baku. everything changes after that.

author's note: i'm quite nervous to be posting this because it's the same trope as that's that me espresso. but i actually wrote this waaaaay before and i want to share it! it's part of a series, in my head at least. i haven't come anywhere near finishing but the vision is there in my head. this part is just the introduction to my ofc, hope you like it!!

faceclaim: none

Lennon Sage Abbott was eighteen years old when she released her first album, she named it Fearless. Not because she wasn’t scared of anything; she was. She was scared of many things. Like, telling her best friend she has a massive crush on him; telling her mother that she broke the expensive vase that her grandmother had gifted years ago; saying ‘no’ in general scares the hell out of her. We can go on and on; the list is endless.

She named the album Fearless cause for once in her life, she was saying everything she was afraid to say before. Except maybe about the vase; Lennon doesn’t think she’ll ever come clean to her mother about it. She confessed to her best friend that she thinks he’s better off with her and that she thinks his girlfriend is bad for him; although he will never ever know it’s about him. And if anyone asks, she’ll lie. She tells her mum about the best days of her life; tells her younger self that it’s not a shame to not have found true love at age fifteen and tells her red-headed friend Emma the same. She writes a song for her two best friends; Mason and Declan. She tells them about how proud she is of them; no matter how many setbacks they will face in their careers: because the walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down and the time will come for us to finally win.

She lashes out at her ex-boyfriend, the one she was with from age fifteen to sixteen. The one who promised her “forever & always”, but that never came. Who promised her he was her prince on the white horse (he wasn’t).

To her parents, who strongly disapproved of Luke Hemmings. Yes, the Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer. Lennon thought he was the one. She thought he was the love story she was looking for (he wasn’t). She just didn’t know that at the time.

So yes, for once in her life she feels fearless.

She feels like a new girl- no, a new woman when she comes off her Fearless tour. She’s working on her new album, Luke is long forgotten and for the first time in quite some time she has some time off. Her father had started his new job; his dream job. To work in Formula 1 was something Harry Abbott had dreamed about for as long as Lennon could remember. He wasn’t unhappy as physiotherapist for Chelsea FC, not at all. But Formula 1 is where he hoped to be one day.

So when Toro Rosso approached him for a job, the question was not if he’ll take it but when can he start?

Lennon was proud of him; he was following his dreams. Lennon herself didn’t care much for Formula 1. She’d much rather go and watch one of Mason’s matches; or Declan’s. Her brother Beckett however, was quite the opposite. Couldn’t care less about football and would much rather go watch cars go around in circles for about ninety minutes every Sunday.

However, Lennon is more than happy to accept her father’s invitation to come to a Grand Prix weekend. She hasn’t seen him in ages and would love to see him at work again. When Lennon was a little girl he used to take her to the training grounds in Cobham and just sit in a corner of his office as he worked. The players all loved her; sneaking in treats left, right and centre if they knew she was present. That’s how she met Mason and Declan. They played for Chelsea FC’s Youth Academy. To be honest, the two boys weren’t impressed with Lennon when they first met, but Lennon kept sneaking out of her father’s office to go and annoy the two boys. So much so that one day during the school holidays and Lennon couldn’t go with her father because she was home ill, the two boys couldn’t stop looking for her. Harry had to reassure them she was home with a nose cold but would be back to annoy them soon. Her words, not her father’s.

Anyway, we’re getting a bit sidetracked here.

It’s late April 2019 when Lennon’s life completely changes. When she is finally able to visit her father at his new job. In Baku. She hadn’t really heard of the city before, but she was happy to be there. Sorry, getting sidetracked again.

She watched the race; it was okay. She didn’t understand much of it. No, her life changes later that day. In the evening, to be more precise. She meets him in some nightclub in Baku.

And everything changes. And nothing would ever be the same from that moment.

next part coming soon.

the divider is by @/enchanthings || original post

#carlos sainz #f1tales #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz x ofc #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz x reader #enchanthings #dividers by enchanthings

20 notes · View notes

slitheringghost · 1 day ago

Text

Lily Evans as Master of Death, Part 2: Flight From Death

This is part 2 to Unweaving Canon Lily: Master of Death. You don't have to read that meta to understand this, but it might help if you do.

In this meta I will address two major points: (1) how Lily is constantly associated with flight throughout the series, and how that ties into point (2) which is that for six books, we are told that Voldemort laughed as he murdered Lily:

As Hagrid’s story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh. (PS) When the dementors approached him, he heard the last moments of his mother’s life, her attempts to protect him, Harry, from Lord Voldemort, and Voldemort’s laughter before he murdered her... (PoA) “It is, isn’t it?” said Harry, in a voice barely more than a whisper. “But she didn’t move. Dad was already dead, but she didn’t want me to go too. She tried to plead with Voldemort... but he just laughed..." (HBP)

But in the actual scene in DH, Voldemort never laughs while Lily's pleading or while he kills her - he laughs while killing James. This isn’t an inconsistency. Because the laugh Harry heard wasn't Voldemort laughing - it was Lily laughing at Voldemort.

Lily and Voldemort as a duo are compared to Sirius and Bellatrix:

Bellatrix laughed, the same exhilarated laugh her cousin Sirius had given as he toppled backward through the veil, and suddenly Harry knew what was going to happen before it did. (DH)

Lily laughed a laugh so identical to Voldemort’s that Harry mistook it as Voldemort laughing instead.

And just as with Lily being Death, the text doesn’t come out and explicitly say it, because JKR weaved Lily in as a riddle and a mystery for readers to solve - and we have to follow the clues and the Easter eggs she put in to reach the answer. In this meta, I’ll go through all the clues that hint to this.

Note: This analysis positions Lily's defeat of Voldemort as deliberate planning by her, which ties into why she'd give a sort of triumphant laugh that mirrors Voldemort's. IMO JKR's portrayal of Lily as Death/Master of Death implies there's more going on with her sacrifice even from a Doylist perspective.

1.0 Flight And Laughter

Voldemort’s name means “flight from death” in French, and the text makes constant references to the true meaning of Voldemort’s name in fascinating - and hilarious - ways.

A hugely important point to this analysis is the Lily is portrayed as Voldemort’s metaphorical sister the way Harry and Voldemort are “brothers”. See more on this here, here, and here.

More specifically, Lily and Harry are Voldemort’s symbolic twin sister and twin brother, Flight From Death #2 and Flight From Death #3, regarding Harry’s immortality and Lily being the reason for both her son’s immortality and for Voldemort’s death, by her sacrifice deflecting the Killing Curse. The HP series is their sibling rivalry with Voldemort - who can fly from death higher?

Lily and Harry invariably win, and just as Lily is portrayed as the true Master Of Death, the true Death, she’s also the true Flight From Death.

There is a recurring motif of Lily laughing at or making fun of others in flight, or laughing in flight herself - because it’s meant to represent Lily laughing at Voldemort's death and his suffering as he tries to kill Harry and repeatedly fails, Lily laughing because Voldemort calls himself “Flight from death”, and yet she and her son flew from death better than him.

There was undisguised greed in his thin face as he watched the younger of the two girls swinging higher and higher than her sister. “Lily, don’t do it!” shrieked the elder of the two. But the girl had let go of the swing at the very height of its arc and flown into the air, quite literally flown, launched herself skyward with a great shout of laughter, and instead of crumpling on the playground asphalt, she soared like a trapeze artist through the air, staying up far too long, landing far too lightly. “Mummy told you not to!” Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground, making a crunching, grinding sound, then leapt up, hands on hips. “Mummy said you weren’t allowed, Lily!” “But I’m fine,” said Lily, still giggling.

“It’s not hurting you,” said Lily, but she closed her hand on the blossom and threw it back to the ground. “It’s not right,” said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower’s flight to the ground and lingered upon it. “How do you do it?” she added, and there was definite longing in her voice. (DH)

Then we have Lily laughing as Snape tries badly to fly on a broomstick:

a hook-nosed man was shouting at a cowering woman, while a small dark-haired boy cried in a corner... A greasy-haired teenager sat alone in a dark bedroom, pointing his wand at the ceiling, shooting down flies... A girl was laughing as a scrawny boy tried to mount a bucking broomstick — (OoTP)

The text leaves it ambiguous who the girl is, but it’s clear with later context - and the repetition of Lily laughing at others in flight - that the girl is Lily.

Similarly, we have this moment in SWM:

a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants. Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, “Let him down!” (OoTP)

There’s a reason that Lily almost smiles specifically when Levicorpus is used on Snape rather than any other spell he’s attacked with - because Lily is laughing at Snape in flight, tying this into the other similar instances.

Likewise, Lily also insults James’s ability to fly in the same scene:

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.” (OoTP)

Then we have Lily’s letter, and the contents of the letter and the passages related to it are full of hidden messages through coded language:

Harry bent down, picked up a few of the pieces of paper, and examined them. He recognized one as part of an old edition of A History of Magic, by Bathilda Bagshot, and another as belonging to a motorcycle maintenance manual. The third was handwritten and crumpled [...] it proved to be most of the photograph Lily had described in her letter. A black-haired baby was zooming in and out of the picture on a tiny broom, roaring with laughter, and a pair of legs that must have belonged to James was chasing after him. [...] Then he ripped in two the photograph he was also holding, so that he kept the part from which Lily laughed, throwing the portion showing James and Harry back onto the floor (DH)

The sequence of things mentioned matters here - Before Snape took the part of Lily laughing, it would’ve been next to the picture of Sirius’s motorbike manuals, so this can be read as Lily laughing at Sirius’s method of flight, just as she was laughing at and insulting Snape’s and James’s.

Dear Padfoot, Thank you thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! It was his favorite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, he looked so pleased with himself, I’m enclosing a picture so you can see. You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there). Of course, James thought it was so funny, says he’s going to be a great Quidditch player, but we’ve had to pack away all the ornaments and make sure we don’t take our eyes off him when he gets going. (DH)

Harry nearly killed the cat while flying on the toy broom and broke Petunia’s vase - the joke here is that the cat represents Tom Riddle, because Tomcat, and Tom and Jerry, which first aired the year Tom Riddle was 13 (Voldemort is also compared to a cat in GoF - the red eyes, whose pupils were slits, like a cat’s, gleamed still more brightly through the darkness.).

AKA Harry nearly killed Tom Riddle while flying from death and broke the Potter house as he broke the vase (you could say Voldemort gave her the house for Halloween, because James died first and thus Lily technically inherited the house…)

The cat’s state of existence is left ambiguous, whether it perished in the blast or ran away when there was no one left to feed it - just like Voldemort is hovering in the boundary between life and death, existing as a wraith, neither dead nor alive.

Harry’s only one year old and flying from death, only one year old and nearly killing the cat aka Voldemort - this is Lily saying proudly her son will fly from death higher than them all.

Likewise, the photograph also has a double meaning. James isn’t fully in the photo for a reason, to the point that Harry can’t even tell for sure it’s him, because Voldemort is also represented by James here - and this photo’s second meaning is Lily laughing at Voldemort as he chases after Harry as Harry “flies from death”.

He read the letter again, but could not take in any more meaning than he had done the first time, and was reduced to staring at the handwriting itself. She had made her “g”s the same way he did: He searched through the letter for every one of them, and each felt like a friendly little wave glimpsed from behind a veil. (DH)

There’s a reason that specifically the letter “g” was chosen - this is another coded message. Lily made her g’s the same way Harry did, because Godric Gryffindor and Gellert Grindelwald, and Lily and Harry the true Gryffindors and the true masters of the death, linking them to Grindelwald’s quest for the same.

1.1 St. Mungo’s Sequence

[...] a young wizard was performing an odd on-the-spot jig and trying, in between yelps of pain, to explain his predicament to the witch behind the desk. “It’s these — ouch — shoes my brother gave me — ow — they’re eating my — OUCH — feet — look at them, there must be some kind of — AARGH — jinx on them and I can’t — AAAAARGH — get them off —” He hopped from one foot to the other as though dancing on hot coals. “The shoes don’t prevent you reading, do they?” said the blonde witch irritably, pointing at a large sign to the left of her desk. “You want Spell Damage, fourth floor [...]" The wizard hobbled and pranced sideways out of the way (OoTP) The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting with shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water. (OoTP)

The wizard above represents Voldemort. (JKR often does this, uses random characters to represent or evoke main characters - another example of this in the last section with the German woman representing Lily.) The wizard “dancing on hot coals” evokes how Lily’s blood magic burns Voldemort’s skin, the “yelps of pain” evoke Voldemort saying Lily’s sacrifice caused him “pain beyond pain”, and him not being able to get his shoes off is a reference to Priori Incantatem:

And then — nothing could have prepared Harry for this — he felt his feet lift from the ground. He and Voldemort were both being raised into the air, their wands still connected by that thread of shimmering golden light. They glided away from the tombstone of Voldemort’s father and then came to rest on a patch of ground that was clear and free of graves (GoF)

This is a reference to the Talaria of Mercury, or the winged sandals of Hermes, given to him by his half-brother Hephaestus. The magic in Priori Incantatem lifts his his feet into the air - like he's wearing the winged sandals.

Then the passage of Lily laughing in SWM is tied into the man in St. Mungo’s - While the man representing Voldemort can't get off the shoes eating his feet, Lily has her shoes and socks off; while for him it's like his feet are burning on coals, Lily is cooling her feet in water. Voldemort can’t get the shoes off that his sister Lily gave him.

In short, Lily is laughing at Voldemort being burned by her blood magic, laughing at Voldemort in the graveyard being made to fly and being hindered by her magic yet again, laughing as her son flies from death and escapes him.

“That’ll have to do,” he [Ron] said, slamming the diary shut, “I’ve said I dreamed I was buying a new pair of shoes, she can’t make anything weird out of that, can she?” (OoTP)

You’ll notice that in OoTP Ron starts sounding like Voldemort, “performing” the part of Voldemort in the series. For example, Ron asks, 'What's worse than death?' and Voldemort later says, "There's nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!"

So Ron dreaming a new pair of shoes hints at Ron’s link to Voldemort, because it references the wizard in St. Mungo’s with the shoes eating his feet, who represents Voldemort (perhaps evidence for Seer!Ron).

Again, notice how this text is speaking to us in riddles, in coded messages.

(Also note that just as Ron is performing the part of Voldemort, Hermione is performing the part of Lily. See more on this in my meta Hermione As Teacher And Connections To Lily.)

The wizard with his winged daughter in St. Mungo's an allusion to Lily and Harry as Deadalus and Icarus, because in addition to being aegis-bearing Zeus, and Arachne exposing Voldemort's victimization of mortals in her light-spun web as in Priori Incantatem, Lily is Deadalus crafting wings for her son to fly from death - also referenced in the duo in the St. Mungo’s line after the wizard with the jinxed shoes:

A harassed-looking wizard was holding his small daughter tightly by the ankle while she flapped around his head using the immensely large, feathery wings that had sprouted right out the back of her romper suit [...] the man disappeared through the double doors beside the desk, holding his daughter like an oddly shaped balloon (OoTP)

This is especially funny given Ron says this later in the same book:

“I thought we’d settled that?” said Luna maddeningly. “We’re flying!” “Look,” said Ron, barely containing his anger, “you might be able to fly without a broomstick but the rest of us can’t sprout wings whenever we —” “There are other ways of flying than with broomsticks,” said Luna serenely. (OoTP)

The description of the balloon also evokes flight, and the wizard emphasized specifically as holding his daughter by the ankle is an allusion to the myth of the Achilles heel - to Lily and Harry as Thetis holding her son Achilles by the ankle to dip him in the River Styx, giving him immortality.

Lily and Harry as Deadalus and Icarus are also referenced with Dedalus Diggle, who was one of the earliest Order members mentioned and one of the earliest wizards to interact with Harry:

A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley. After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. (PS) “Delighted, Mr. Potter, just can’t tell you, Diggle’s the name, Dedalus Diggle.” “I’ve seen you before!” said Harry, as Dedalus Diggle’s top hat fell off in his excitement. “You bowed to me once in a shop.” “He remembers!” cried Dedalus Diggle, looking around at everyone. “Did you hear that? He remembers me!” (OoTP)

And Dedalus Diggle also comes to get Harry from the Dursleys right before Harry deflects the Killing Curse while both him and Voldemort are in flight - Harry flying on his broom and Voldemort flying unsupported, another reference to flight from death.

Then there’s Harry’s History of Magic O.W.L., during which Voldemort lures Harry to the DoM with his vision of Sirius, as another important Deadalus and Icarus allusion:

The sun was very hot on the back of his head. Harry closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands, so that the glowing red of his eyelids grew dark and cool. But somebody screamed as Voldemort lowered his wand again; somebody yelled and fell sideways off a hot desk onto the cold stone floor. (OoTP)

The repeated mention of sunlight shining on them is a reference to Lily and Harry as Deadalus and Icarus, because Harry flew too close to the sun - and now their wings are melting and injured, now they’re about to fall from the sky and drown in the sea of despair, because the man both Lily and Harry love - Sirius - is about to die.

Harry dived behind a marble angel to avoid the jets of red light and saw the tip of its wing shatter as the spells hit it. Gripping his wand more tightly, he dashed out from behind the angel — (GoF) It was only then that he realized that Hedwig’s feathers were oddly ruffled; some were bent the wrong way, and she was holding one of her wings at an odd angle. “She’s hurt!” Harry whispered [...] “Look — there’s something wrong with her wing —” (OoTP) Fawkes swooped down in front of Dumbledore, opened his beak wide, and swallowed the jet of green light whole. He burst into flame and fell to the floor, small, wrinkled, and flightless. (OoTP)

2.0 Associations with all flying things

Now I’ll go through all the times Lily is associated with flight - this will circle back to the laugh in the last section, because it ties into how Lily is laughing as her son "flies from death", and laughing at Voldemort as Voldemort himself "flies from death" aka is forced to "fly from death" because he's nearly murdered. (Her associations with flight of course also symbolize her as a God figure and angel)

2.1 Fawkes

Note: Since exact wording really matters when analyzing Lily, it's important to use the first original version of Priori Incantatem, where Lily comes out of the wand last instead of James.

In addition to the above reference - Fawkes swallowing the Killing Curse that was about to kill Dumbledore and then “dying” symbolizing how Lily took the Killing Curse for Harry - an important thing to realize is that the graveyard scene in GoF, where Harry and Voldemort’s phoenix wands connect, is in many ways entirely about Lily.

Lilies represent Christ's resurrection, and are said to have sprouted from the ground where Christ's blood and tears fell during crucifixion.

Harry's tied to the tombstone of Voldemort's father, Peter takes Harry's blood for Voldemort's rebirth, then Voldemort brings up Lily:

“You stand, Harry Potter, upon the remains of my late father,” he hissed softly. “A Muggle and a fool... very like your dear mother. But they both had their uses, did they not? Your mother died to defend you as a child... and I killed my father, and see how useful he has proved himself, in death...” (GoF)

Voldemort mentions Lily's death/sacrifice like 4+ times through this scene. And then when their spells connect:

It first lifts the both of them from that ground by Tom Riddle Sr's grave and places them somewhere else - because flight from death, lilies are sprouting from the ground where Harry’s blood was spilt for the ritual and where Voldemort mentioned Lily, etc. (This comes full circle in DH, where Hermione leaves a wreath of Christmas roses on Lily’s grave as Harry cries on it, so here roses sprouted on the ground where "Christ's tears" fell.)

Which brings me to this passage in OoTP which references it in coded language:

Then a burst of fire in midair illuminated the dirty plates in front of them and as they gave cries of shock, a scroll of parchment fell with a thud onto the table, accompanied by a single golden phoenix tail feather. “Fawkes!” said Sirius at once, snatching up the parchment. “That’s not Dumbledore’s writing — it must be a message from your mother — here —” He thrust the letter into George’s hand, who ripped it open and read aloud, “Dad is still alive. I am setting out for St. Mungo’s now. Stay where you are. I will send news as soon as I can. Mum.” (OoTP) And then an unearthly and beautiful sound filled the air. . . . It was coming from every thread of the light-spun web vibrating around Harry and Voldemort. It was a sound Harry recognized, though he had heard it only once before in his life: phoenix song.It was the sound of hope to Harry... the most beautiful and welcome thing he had ever heard in his life... He felt as though the song were inside him instead of just around him... It was the sound he connected with Dumbledore, and it was almost as though a friend were speaking in his ear... Don’t break the connection. (GoF)

“Your mother’s coming…” he said quietly. “She wants to see you… it will be all right… hold on…” And she came… first her head, then her body… a young woman with long hair, the smoky, shadowy form of Lily Potter blossomed from the end of Voldemort’s wand, fell to the ground, and straightened like her husband. She walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and she spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear... “When the connection is broken, we will linger for only moments... but we will give you time... you must get to the Portkey, it will return you to Hogwarts... do you understand, Harry?” (GoF)

Harry associates the phoenix song with Dumbledore, but this isn’t Dumbledore’s doing, it’s a message from Lily, it’s Lily coming to save Harry.

Notice how the wording echoes - Harry hears a voice saying “Don’t break the connection” and Lily’s shade says “When the connection is broken”; Voldemort calls Lily’s blood magic “lingering protection” and Lily’s shade says "we will linger". Voldemort says “My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah… pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it” and when Priori Incantatem lifts Harry and Voldemort into the air the wording is “And then — nothing could have prepared Harry for this — he felt his feet lift from the ground”. These details consistently connect this all back to Lily.

Harry also goes from thinking “There was no hope… no help to be had" and "His mother was not there to die for him this time”, losing faith in Lily, to “It was the sound of hope to Harry” - and lilies are called the “white-robed apostles of hope”, another giveaway.

The OoTP passage about Molly’s letter continues, with more coded connections to the GoF graveyard scene:

[...] George looked around the table.“Still alive...” he said slowly. “But that makes it sound...” He did not need to finish the sentence. It sounded to Harry too as though Mr. Weasley was hovering somewhere between life and death. (OoTP) “My curse was deflected by the woman’s foolish sacrifice, and it rebounded upon myself. Aaah... pain beyond pain, my friends; nothing could have prepared me for it. I was ripped from my body, I was less than spirit, less than the meanest ghost... but still, I was alive.” (GoF)

Voldemort here is represented by “Dad” because he, like Mr. Weasley, is presented as a father figure to Harry.

This comes full circle in the graveyard scene in DH, where Harry mistakes Voldemort’s magic for that of Dumbledore’s, just like he mistook Priori Incantatem for Dumbledore’s magic when it was actually Lily’s magic:

Was it possible that she had been waiting for them all these long months? That Dumbledore had told her to wait, and that Harry would come in the end? Was it not likely that it was she who had moved in the shadows in the graveyard and had followed them to this spot? Even her ability to sense them suggested some Dumbledore-ish power that he had never encountered before. (DH)

Then we have Fawkes healing Harry right as he mentions Lily:

Harry described how the figures that had emerged from the wand had prowled the edges of the golden web, how Voldemort had seemed to fear them, how the shadow of Harry’s mother had told him what to do, how Cedric’s had made its final request. At this point, Harry found he could not continue. He looked around at Sirius and saw that he had his face in his hands. Harry suddenly became aware that Fawkes had left his knee. The phoenix had fluttered to the floor. It was resting its beautiful head against Harry’s injured leg, and thick, pearly tears were falling from its eyes onto the wound left by the spider. The pain vanished. The skin mended. His leg was repaired. (GoF)

The other time the phrase "beautiful head" is used is for the doe patronus: "She stepped toward him, her beautiful head with its wide, long-lashed eyes held high." // "She turned her beautiful head toward him once more"

2.2 Hedwig

Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost. “About time!” Harry snarled, as she landed lightly on top of her cage. “You can put that down, I’ve got work for you!” Hedwig’s large round amber eyes gazed reproachfully at him over the dead frog clamped in her beak. (OoTP)

Hedwig here is meant to evoke Lily - described as a “small ghost", the reference to her eyes, and the beak full of dead frog may be a reference to Lily having her “pockets full of frogspawn”.

Hedwig dies during the Battle of Seven Potters in DH - when Lily's magic saves Harry from the Killing Curse a second time, while Harry and Voldemort are both in flight - much like how Fawkes falls dead and flightless after swallowing the Killing Curse, Hedwig dying here represents how it took Lily’s death to make Harry "fly from death". Likewise, Harry first heard Lily’s murder and deflection of the Killing Curse in PoA while he was in flight - because flight from death.

2.3 Lily as the Golden Snitch

“Did you ever discuss codes, or any means of passing secret messages, with Dumbledore?” “No, I didn’t,” said Hermione, still wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “And if the Ministry hasn’t found any hidden codes in this book in thirty-one days, I doubt that I will.” “I notice that your birthday cake is in the shape of a Snitch,” Scrimgeour said to Harry. “Why is that?” Hermione laughed derisively. “Oh, it can’t be a reference to the fact Harry’s a great Seeker, that’s way too obvious,” she said. “There must be a secret message from Dumbledore hidden in the icing!” (DH) He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters L. E. What did they stand for? (OoTP)

There's a reason that DH includes this bit about Dumbledore leaving secret codes in a book and the Snitch cake potentially containing a secret message - JKR is being incredibly meta here, because when James writes Lily's initials beside the Snitch in OoTP, this is JKR giving readers a secret message: that Lily is the Golden Snitch.

What do we know about the Snitch? The Snitch is tiny, golden, very difficult to see, and notably the only ball in Quidditch that has wings - like how Lily is constantly associated with flight, and an allusion to Lily as an angel to Harry. Snitches have flesh memories - only opening at Harry's touch, as Lily's touch is emphasized, and her blood magic keeping Voldemort from touching Harry.

Harry's the Seeker and Lily is the Snitch - because Lily's playing hide-and-seek with her son through the narrative and Harry has to seek her.

Most celebrated of these half-magical dwelling places is, perhaps, Godric’s Hollow, the West Country village where the great wizard Godric Gryffindor was born, and where Bowman Wright, Wizarding smith, forged the first Golden Snitch. The graveyard is full of the names of ancient magical families, and this accounts, no doubt, for the stories of hauntings that have dogged the little church beside it for many centuries. (DH)

It was invented where Lily died and vanquished Voldemort, where Lily Harry and Voldemort all had their "flight from death".

The long game was ended, the Snitch had been caught, it was time to leave the air… The Snitch. His nerveless fingers fumbled for a moment with the pouch at his neck and he pulled it out. I open at the close. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster. (DH)

It’s time for Harry to leave the air - to fly from death yet again because of Lily's lingering magic and Lily having conquered death.

Lily is playing hide-and-seek with him, and where does Harry find her? Inside the Golden Snitch, where the Resurrection Stone is hidden, and as I said the previous part to this meta, that was Lily’s soul creating the versions of James, Sirius, and Remus just as Riddle’s soul in the locket created Riddle-Harry and Riddle-Hermione.

That Harry’s excellent flying is actually about his “flight from death” is why his Quidditch skills are often mentioned when he faces Voldemort.

Voldemort raised his wand, but this time Harry was ready; with the reflexes born of his Quidditch training, he flung himself sideways onto the ground (GoF) And Harry, with the unerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. (DH)

2.4 Charms

“You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work.” (PS)

Lily having a wand good for Charms has significance tying to this narrative thread. The very first spell they learn in Charms (or at least, the first one the text points out iirc) is the Levitation Charm - in other words, how to make something fly, which they then practice on a bird feather.

Hermione is the one to do it perfectly and teach Harry and Ron how to successfully do it - and Hermione performs the part of Lily. Again see this meta.

They learn this spell specifically on Halloween - the same day Harry had his “flight from death” in 1981.

On Halloween morning they woke to the delicious smell of baking pumpkin wafting through the corridors. Even better, Professor Flitwick announced in Charms that he thought they were ready to start making objects fly, something they had all been dying to try […] “Now, don’t forget that nice wrist movement we’ve been practicing!” squeaked Professor Flitwick, perched on top of his pile of books as usual. “Swish and flick, remember, swish and flick. ” (PS)

In general the stuff they learn in Charms is often associated with making things fly - Levitation Charm, Hovering Charm, Summoning Charm, Banishing Charm, etc. Likewise, Flitwick's section for the Stone protections also have to do with flight - they're winged keys that remind Harry of birds and also evoke a Snitch, and Harry uses his Seeker skills to catch them.

2.5 Flying out of a window

The action of flying through the window is repeated by those associated with the Elder Wand and therefore the Master of Death thread in DH.

Lily as represented by the doe patronus:

“For him?” shouted Snape. “Expecto Patronum!” From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears. (DH)

Harry and Hermione escaping from Voldemort in Godric's Hollow, with Hermione playing the role of Lily:

Glass cut his cheek as, pulling Hermione with him, he leapt from bed to broken dressing table and then straight out of the smashed window into nothingness, her scream reverberating through the night as they twisted in midair... And then his scar burst open and he was Voldemort and he was running across the fetid bedroom, his long white hands clutching at the windowsill as he glimpsed the bald man and the little woman twist and vanish (DH)

Voldemort as he meets Grindelwald to question him about the Elder Wand:

— and he rose into the night, flying straight up to the window at the very top of the tower — [...] — The window was the merest slit in the black rock, not big enough for a man to enter... A skeletal figure was just visible through it, curled beneath a blanket... Dead, or sleeping...? [...] — as he forced himself through the slit of a window like a snake and landed, lightly as vapor, inside the cell-like room — (DH)

Grindelwald as he steals the Elder Wand:

Gregorovitch burst into the room at the end of the passage and his lantern illuminated what looked like a workshop; wood shavings and gold gleamed in the swinging pool of light, and there on the window ledge sat perched, like a giant bird, a young man with golden hair. In the split second that the lantern’s light illuminated him, Harry saw the delight upon his handsome face, then the intruder shot a Stunning Spell from his wand and jumped neatly backward out of the window with a crow of laughter. Harry could still see the blond-haired youth’s face; it was merry, wild; there was a Fred and George-ish air of triumphant trickery about him. He had soared from the windowsill like a bird, and Harry had seen him before, but he could not think where... (DH)

Snape as he flies with the Elder Wand in his hand:

When Harry looked up again, Snape was in full flight, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout all thundering after him: He hurtled through a classroom door and, moments later, he heard McGonagall cry, “Coward! COWARD!” […] Harry dragged her to her feet and they raced along the corridor, trailing the Invisibility Cloak behind them, into the deserted classroom where Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout were standing at a smashed window. “He jumped,” said Professor McGonagall as Harry and Luna ran into the room. “You mean he’s dead?” Harry sprinted to the window [...] With a tingle of horror, Harry saw in the distance a huge, batlike shape flying through the darkness toward the perimeter wall. (DH)

3.0 1981 Memory

Onto the laugh, there are multiple possibilities - one is that since the memories Harry hears near the dementors are blurry, Harry simply heard the laugh and Lily's death out of order, and what he heard was actually Voldemort laughing as he murdered James. It's also possible that it just got left out/implied.

But that doesn't change the fact that the text emphasizes this laugh very specifically in relation to Lily's murder continuously.

As I said before, Voldemort and Lily as a duo parallel Sirius and Bellatrix, and the way Sirius, Bellatrix, and Harry echo each other in this Department of Mysteries sequence (expanded on in my meta "When Lily Cast Her Life As A Shield": Analysis of the Shield Charm) is mirrored by the Voldemort, Lily, and Harry trio:

“Laughed,” said Stan. “Jus’ stood there an’ laughed. An’ when reinforcements from the Ministry of Magic got there, ’e went wiv ’em quiet as anyfink, still laughing ’is ’ead off. ’Cos ’e’s mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?” (PoA) “Get it himself?” shrieked Bellatrix on a cackle of mad laughter. Only one couple were still battling, apparently unaware of the new arrival. Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix’s jet of red light: He was laughing at her. “Come on, you can do better than that!” he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room. " [...] And he knows!” said Harry with a mad laugh to match Bellatrix’s own. “Your dear old mate Voldemort knows it’s gone! He’s not going to be happy with you, is he?” (OoTP)

Remember all the instances of Lily laughing related to flight - in fact every instance of Lily laughing in the series has something to do with this narrative thread. And it's the same thing in the memory of her death:

The child was laughing and trying to catch the smoke, to grab it in his small fist... “Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!” Hold him off, without a wand in his hand!... He laughed before casting the curse... “Avada Kedavra!” he looked up into the intruder’s face with a kind of bright interest, perhaps thinking that it was his father who hid beneath the cloak, making more pretty lights, and his mother would pop up any moment, laughing — (DH)

Lily is imagined as laughing right before Voldemort casts the Killing Curse on Harry - right before the curse rebounds on and (nearly) kills Voldemort, just as Voldemort laughed before he murdered James.

Note that this echoes Sirius and Bellatrix laughing specifically right before they’re killed - as Voldemort and Lily both laugh as they’re both dying in 1981 (or in Voldemort’s case, his near-death).

How and when did Lily laugh like that and Voldemort not hear it? There are several options. Remember, there are multiple instances where Lily is mentioned to have said something that Voldemort couldn’t hear:

She walked close to Harry, looking down at him, and she spoke in the same distant, echoing voice as the others, but quietly, so that Voldemort, his face now livid with fear as his victims prowled around him, could not hear... (GoF) A door opened and the mother entered, saying words he could not hear, her long dark-red hair falling over her face. (DH)

This may be a deliberate clue to Voldemort not hearing the laugh that Harry can.

It’s possible Lily laughed soon after screaming when Voldemort was still climbing the stairs, knowing she was luring him to his death, or that she laughed hovering between the boundary of life and death right before she died, much like Bellatrix and Sirius are said to have known what happened in the second before they died (“Molly’s curse soared beneath Bellatrix’s outstretched arm and hit her squarely in the chest, directly over her heart. Bellatrix’s gloating smile froze, her eyes seemed to bulge: For the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled”).

It’s also possible Lily was laughing after she died, from behind the veil, and Harry could hear it because of the magical connection between them, sort of like he can hear her whispering to him from the Veil in OoTP.

Lily knew that in killing her, Voldemort sealed the agreement, sealed the "binding magical contract" that would destroy him when he broke it (more on that here) - the agreement to take Lily's life instead of Harry's. And therefore, in one way or another, she was laughing triumphantly at Voldemort.

That Bellatrix is a clue to Lily is further implied in the parallel here:

“Yeah,” said Harry, tearing his eyes away from Bellatrix Lestrange’s face to glance up and down the High Street. “Yeah, it is weird...” (OoTP) How long he stood there, he didn’t know. The reflections did not fade and he looked and looked until a distant noise brought him back to his senses. He couldn’t stay here, he had to find his way back to bed. He tore his eyes away from his mother’s face, whispered, “I’ll come back,” and hurried from the room. (PS)

The way the language around Voldemort, Lily, and Harry and their movements and actions mirror each other in general in addition to the laughs in the 1981 memory is another big clue.

And then his scar burst open and he was Voldemort and he was running across the fetid bedroom, his long white hands clutching at the windowsill as he glimpsed the bald man and the little woman twist and vanish, and he screamed with rage, a scream that mingled with the girl’s, that echoed across the dark gardens over the church bells ringing in Christmas Day... And his scream was Harry’s scream, his pain was Harry’s pain... He could hear her screaming from the upper floor, trapped, but as long as she was sensible, she, at least, had nothing to fear He was nothing, nothing but pain and terror, and he must hide himself, not here in the rubble of the ruined house, where the child was trapped and screaming, but far away (DH)

Again Hermione here is representing Lily - most evident in this scene, where it’s her spell that saves Harry from Nagini-Bathilda and lets them escape as Voldemort comes, just like Lily saved Harry in 1981, so Voldemort's scream mingling with Hermione's alludes to it mingling with Lily's. (The locket soul piece is also described as "trapped and screaming" later).

He forced the door open, cast aside the chair and boxes hastily piled against it with one lazy wave of his wand... and there she stood, the child in her arms. The child had not cried all this time: He could stand, clutching the bars of his crib, and he looked up into the intruder’s face with a kind of bright interest And now he stood at the broken window of Bathilda’s house, immersed in memories of his greatest loss (DH)

Additionally the three of them aren’t named in the memory, while James is named 4 times, again tying Voldemort, Lily, and Harry as a trio with identical “twin” (or triplet) movements.

As explained in part 1, Voldemort and Lily are both described as “hooded figures”, both are Death, both enter through a doorway (because as in the Cain and Abel passage in Genesis 4, sin is crouching at the door), and the wording here echoes:

A door opened and the mother entered, saying words he could not hear, her long dark-red hair falling over her face. The gate creaked a little as he pushed it open, but James Potter did not hear. His white hand pulled out the wand beneath his cloak and pointed it at the door, which burst open. (DH)

All of which is to say, if everything else echoes - then so must their laughter. On first glance, Lily laughing seems to be only Voldemort's imagination, but once we put together all the clues, we can see how that's meant to hint at Lily actually laughing in this scene.

The green light flashed around the room and she dropped like her husband. The child had not cried all this time: He could stand, clutching the bars of his crib, and he looked up into the intruder’s face with a kind of bright interest, perhaps thinking that it was his father who hid beneath the cloak, making more pretty lights, and his mother would pop up any moment, laughing — He pointed the wand very carefully into the boy’s face: He wanted to see it happen, the destruction of this one, inexplicable danger. The child began to cry: It had seen that he was not James. (DH)

The above passage is the situation flipped. While Voldemort believes that Harry thinks he's James, baby Harry actually thinks Voldemort is Lily, because it's Lily whose face is covered by her hair as a dementor's is hidden, resembling the hood of a cloak or the Veil of Death, while James's face is seen clearly. Basically, while with the laugh Harry mistakes Lily for Voldemort, here he’s mistaking Voldemort for Lily. Harry, looking carefully into Voldemort's face, presumably sees Voldemort's eyes, realizes it's not Lily, and starts crying.

He approached one of them, then saw the whiteness of his own long-fingered hand against the door. He knocked. He felt a mounting excitement. . . . The door opened: A laughing woman stood there. Her face fell as she looked into Harry’s face: humor gone, terror replacing it. . . . “Gregorovitch?” said a high, cold voice. She shook her head: She was trying to close the door. A white hand held it steady, prevented her shutting him out. . . . He raised the wand. She screamed. Two young children came running into the hall. She tried to shield them with her arms. There was a flash of green light — (DH)

This clearly evokes Lily - "The door opened: A laughing woman stood there" parallels the language of 1981 - "A door opened and the mother entered", "There she stood", and Voldemort forcing his way in also parallels "He forced the door open".

Then the rest evokes Lily’s scream, her spreading her arms and “shielding” Harry from Voldemort’s sight, the flash of green light always connected with her murder. Note again how the language echoes to draw certain connections.

So, if this represents Lily, the fact that she's described as a "laughing woman" is significant - this is another clue that the laugh was Lily.

4.0 Conclusion

To summarize, Lily is constantly associated with laughter, and constantly associated with flight, and the two link together in her laughing at others in flight and, finally, laughing at Voldemort because she and her son are the superior "Flight from Death".

If you read this whole thing, please let me know if you were convinced by this theory.

Thank you to @regheart, @keepmycandleburning, and @remus-poopin for reading this over for me!

23 notes · View notes