#ALSO the thing about him being a bastard in an alternate reality is true yes but there's way more to it than just him being rude
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mercuryislove · 3 years ago
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Which of your characters did you create first? Is that character significantly different now compared to when you first created them?
okay i wrote this at like 3am last night when i couldn't sleep and it makes absolutely no sense but i figured if there was anyone on this earth that would appreciate it, it might be you lol
It's kind of funny you should ask this because the last few days I've been reading the stuff I was writing when I first picked it back up this time last year and like. shit's changed a lot lol
Of like. the stuff I'm writing now uh TECHNICALLY Yixing came first because when I was first toying with the idea of running a dnd campaign of my own, I started coming up with some npcs just to like. get some inspiration I guess? (I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before...) So I didn't really have any ideas about a setting or a plot or anything but I had two very specific characters, and one of them was like. a classic drifter/outlaw type character. And his two defining features were that he had really long black hair and was covered head to toe in tattoos. And uh. Only one of those stuck lol (though in my dnd campaign he still does have the tats! And they are plot relevant lol) OH also it stands to say that in my campaign Yixing is a MONK WITH A GUN because he was originally a gunslinger but I didn't really like any of the way the gunslinger homebrew options worked, and a lot of them were basically monk adjacent so I turned him into a monk and made his fucking monastic weapon a GUN.
Also the other npc I made was a really bonkers woman that lives in the woods and thinks the world is about to end at any moment and is extremely magically adept and eats a whole lot of shrooms lmao. idk if she'll actually show up in the campaign but she has a character sheet ready just in case
anyway. Yes Yixing is WAY different. He still has the yeehaw flair but he was originally intended to be shady and self-serving and standoffish and the kind of person who will play all sides but still find a way to come out on top. (he is still like that in my campaign..... he's like a quadruple agent lmao SPOILER for my dnd campaign that nobody cares about: he CLAIMS to be working for Anwei but he's actually working for Ciaran who knows he's also working for Anwei but he's actually double-crossing them both AND someone else that he's working for because he has his own side hustle and honestly he may or may not end up being the actual Big Bad of the campaign. I don't know yet. I hope my sister isn't reading this lol) anyway again, in the context of my novel he's now only a little bit self-serving and he will probably complain if he's super inconvenienced by helping out other people but he's still going to do it. He's a GOOD PERSON and even though I still have an extremely detailed outline of the idea I had where the plot is basically the same but he's a real shithead instead, I can't bring myself to really entertain the idea because I like him being nice. :( the whole point is that he's been through hell and back and has had a really shitty life but still finds a way to be kind and to see the good in people in spite of it all!!!! I get like. really passionate about this. Like truly agonizing about it to no one but myself. I'm the one writing the damn thing I can do whatever I want so why do I care so much about an alternate reality where Yixing is a real bastard??? I do not know.
ANYWAY AGAIN. (now here is where we really lose the thread of the original question lol) This all goes back to dnd lol because as someone that is a hard atheist, it's like. tough for me to get into the whole uhhh god thing in fantasy settings (but in this case I'm talking dnd). Like they EXIST FOR REAL in the context of the game so when your cleric or paladin prays, someone is really listening. And I was like... hm. What if I want to write a campaign where they just aren't there? (and some of my friends said I couldn't because that's breaking the rules which is stupid.. I do what I want!!!) Or that they had otherwise abandoned humanity? So then because I played final fantasy x too much in my formative years, I had the idea of “what if the gods got really fucking mad about people forsaking religion and punished them?” which turned into “what if the gods just DIED suddenly and the world fell apart in the wake?” which turned into “what if the gods realized they sucked at their jobs and that humanity was unintentionally destroying itself so they made a pact to start over but when they tried to do just that, they accidentally killed themselves?” and that is........... mostly the so-called lore now (but there is definitely more but I can't say at this time because spoilers lol) uh. I forgot where I was going with this. OH. How the characters changed. WELL. Anwei has probably changed the least lol. She is still kind of mean and weird and thinks of herself and the others like her as Far Superior to everyone else, but she's no longer downright evil. At one point she was intended to be the villain!!! but I changed my mind because I love fellow mean lesbians so much. Also it was kind of uhh. low stakes with her as a villain/antagonist. She's a little shady and definitely still very manipulative and she gets mean when jealous but not like in her first iterations.... she does still sort of try to get yixing killed though lmao
Oh also Ciaran was the last of the three that I came up with lol which is funny considering he's like. such a big deal. The only reason he exists at all is because I wanted to come up with a real Corruption Arc kind of Guy because I am a big fan of those. Also I wanted the Big Bad in my campaign to be related somehow to the Big Good. And like. what better way to do that than siblings! And then I needed a way to make my Very Cool New npc connected to both of them somehow to make the whole uhhh revolver ocelot style mind games work so I sat down and was like. well. time to tell a tragic love story lol. soooooooooo uh Thank you dnd for inspiring me to write a trilogy of novels because I wanted to do a SINGLE basic worldbuilding exercise for my dnd campaign (that even now has only had uh. four sessions ever) while I was sad and lonely last summer.
I totally went off the rails with this question and I am sorry for that :( also I could write a thousand essays about how much I love Yixing and also how many versions of him there are in my mind lol he's like that one oc that everyone has that they find a way to put in everything always. he is my alternate universe oc. very versatile
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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years ago
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Hi, how are you? Your blog is amazing and your recommendations have already allowed me to read wonderful stories, so thank you so much! I wonder if you could suggest me any cherik fics of them as detectives? I remember reading one a long time ago, but unfortunately I don't know the name and even less the synopsis. Thank you in advance for your help.
Thank you so much @remember5novemberv for your kind words. I'm so sorry this took me so long but I hope you enjoy this list. There are some excellent detective AUs in this fandom so you're in for a treat.
Cherik Detective AUs
Their Mouths Always Lie – keire_ke
Summary: Charles adheres to most police protocols like they are a personal code of conduct. Erik gets things done and over with, for better or worse. Raven knows what she's doing, most of the time. The serial killer kills, regardless. Police AU.
Guilty by Association – Reagan
Summary: While investigating the homicide of a John Doe who he suspects might've been murdered while working the streets as a prostitute, Detective Erik Lehnsherr finds an unexpected ally in a hooker named Charles who seems as determined as he to solve the case. As they become more deeply involved both with the case and each other, there's just one thing that Charles neglects to mention -- that he's really an investigative journalist, one quickly convinced that what they're dealing with is more than simple murder. cop!Erik, fake-hooker-slash-reporter!Charles, Modern AU.
Incy Wincy Spider – Tawabids
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a renowned homicide detective, with his husband Charles at home and his partner on the job, Moira MacTaggert. When a twisted serial killer starts targeting mutants, Erik and Moira are the perfect team for the job, especially since Erik himself is the mutant poster-boy of an NYPD trying to improve their image.
But what they don't yet know is that the serial killer is an old soul out of Erik's past, and his next move is to pull Charles into his web.
The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea
Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.
“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.
“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"
“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”
Charles’ Killer – luchia
Summary: When detective Charles Xavier finds himself hunting down a vendetta-driven serial killer, it doesn't take long for him to realize he's in over his head. It only takes a little longer for him to realize his killer is, too.
Demoted – JayPendragon
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a detective-specialist with the NYPD Mutant Tactical Unit, ready to help out where his skills are needed. Or he would be, if he and his partner hadn’t been demoted. For the next four months, he is patrolling the Lenox Hill precinct with Azazel – if he doesn’t die of boredom first.
One night they are called in to investigate a potential case of domestic violence, yet the tenant assures them he is both alone and unharmed. However, there is something about this Charles Xavier that compels Erik to follow up.
Watching the Detectives – Clocks
Summary: Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr are good friends and colleagues. However, when they go undercover at a Christmas party to nab a prime suspect, Erik keeps reminding himself to stay professional and ignore feelings of unexpected jealousy.
Oh, Sinnerman (Where you gonna run to?) – TintagelCastle (orphan–account)
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is one of the best homicide detectives in New York. From small time stabbings to high end mob hits, Erik (and his equally scary partner Logan) makes sure all the bad guys get caught, searching for the final clue to nail his mother's killer. As a string of murders draws the net ever tighter on Erik's life's work, he needs to catch the nightmare of his past whilst continuing to be the darling of the Force...
And so what if he's completely in love with the British guy on Forensics? Who's he ever going to tell?
Wrap up my bones – waifornight
Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.
Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.
I’ll see your heart (and I’ll race you mine) – sirona
Summary: For Kriminalhauptkommissar Erik Lehnsherr, this case will change everything.
Paralyzer – Yahtzee
Summary: In 1965, Erik Lehnsherr has infiltrated the NYPD for his own purposes -- but his powers make him a brilliant detective. Yet that's not why FBI agent Charles Xavier has sought him out. It's because the mysterious killer they're both trying to find is murdering people like them: other mutants.
Their search for a madman binds them together. Their inner demons may tear them apart. But the greatest danger comes when the killer they're looking for looks back.
Wrap up my bones – waifornight
Summary: Damaged detective Erik Lehnsherr is grimly searching for a serial killer whose victims all have extraordinary gifts. But without any clues or leads he and his partner Logan are in the dark. Until Charles Xavier, abducted by the killer, escapes. Together Erik and Charles must confront something far darker than either of them had ever imagined.
Alternate Universe loosely based off the crime movie Kiss the Girls.
The Long Bright Dark – lachatblanche
Summary: Ten years ago Detectives Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr closed the case on a grotesque series of murders that continue to haunt them even in the present day. When they are pulled in for questioning a decade later, they finally have confirmation of something that they have both suspected for a very long time - that there is unfinished business for them to take care of and that the case they thought they had closed so very long ago is in reality still all too open.
A True Detective AU.
Finding North – ClarkeStetler, Goosenik
Summary: Charles and Erik are (loosely) friends with benefits. They don't share personal details, last names, or anything concrete about their lives. This is ruined rather spectacularly when Charles gets recruited by the Mutant Apprehension Division of the FBI. Surprised is a bit of an understatement for their reaction to finding themselves partnered up and sent out on cases with the team.
Closer (to God) – dsrobertson
Summary: Se7en/The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo AU-ish.
Political journalist and editor, Erik Lehnsherr, has just lost £150,000 in a libel case against businessman, Kurt Marko. Down on his luck and in need of money, Erik is approached by the Metropolitan Police’s Detective Inspector Charles Xavier. Well-known for his investigative journalism, Erik is asked to help in the search for a serial killer in return for £200,000 if the killer is caught.
Wrapped up in murder, religion, and sex, Erik gets more than he bargained for.
Homo Sacer – unveiled
Summary: In a not too distant future, Detective Erik Lehnsherr meets Charles Xavier: street magician, former academician, and telepath.
One Good Day – troll_under_the_bridge
Summary: One case which is going to turn Charles' world upside down, while he struggles to pacify his boss, investigate murders and come to terms with the mess his life has become.
Playing With Fire – professor
Summary: Charles is a detective determined to catch a serial killer.
If the serial killer doesn't catch him first.
Hold on or let go – aesc, pearl_o
Summary: Teenage telepath Charles Xavier takes a job as a consultant, working with prickly police detective Erik Lehnsherr. Charles is used to being on his own and taking care of himself; he has no reason to think that his relationship with this stern, icy man is going to change any of that. (Also known as: Tough Little Baby Telepath.)
MCIS: First Case – Pookaseraph
Summary: Erik Lehnsherr considers himself a great MCIS agent, and he puts up with a lot from his boss - Moira MacTaggart - in the name of solving crimes against mutants, but he's not so sure about this new empath, Charles Xavier. Their first case together will test Erik's patience, but doubtless be the beginning of a brilliant friendship.
MCIS: Fathers, Sons, and Brothers – Pookaseraph
Summary: Alex Summers has a single case that he has obsessed about ever since coming to MCIS two years ago: Su-M-94-0708-0034, the murder of Christopher and Katherine Summers, and the presumed kidnapping and possible murder of Scott Summers. Very little evidence was found at the time, but hopefully a new team - and new leads - can shed light on the case that left Alex an orphan.
When the Crazies come to town – Chinchillaatthedisc0
Summary: Erik is a surly detective with zero people skills who has just been assigned the murder case of Kurt Marko. Prime suspect? Charles xavier. Who's no where to be found.
My old man is a bad man – faerie_ground
Summary: Sebastian Shaw dies at two am in the morning with a dagger embedded in his forehead. Detective Erik Lehnsherr is on the case, and the number one suspect is the recently widowed Dr Charles Xavier, Sebastian Shaw's husband.
Deep Cover – Subtilior
Summary: Omegas in heat? The perfect whores. Sebastian Shaw? The bastard who kidnaps them for his Hellfire Club. Erik Lehnsherr? A hard-boiled detective who's been on the Hellfire case for months. The catastrophe that unfolds when he goes in on retrieval and finds Charles Xavier still writhing in a Hellfire bed? .... Deep Cover.
A Murder of Ravens – AbandonedWorld
Summary:Charles Xavier is wrongfully accused. Erik Lehnsherr is a top-notch homicide Lieutenant who stumbles upon the case of a lifetime: a serial killer targeting mutants–and only mutants. Charles bides his incarceration waiting on a miracle, reciting Poe's timeless gem in effort to retain his sanity...
Note: Unfinished
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sanjuno · 4 years ago
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Sanjuno’s Story and Fandom Masterlist
I’m going to pin this list of titles so that people can more easily figure out what they want to vote for each Friday. Anything labelled with Meta, WIP, or Concept can be voted for.
1.    ATTACK ON TITAN
1.1.  Coordinates T by H: Eren’s coordinator abilities allow him to metaphysically bond with other humans, thereby giving everyone in the group the ability to psychically communicate with the rest and also boosting everyone’s healing ability exponentially to be on par with the Titan Shifters. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
2.    BLEACH
2.1. What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with YYH – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted
3.     CODE GEASS
3.1.  A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” idea. Meta
3.2.  Abandon Thyself: Post-Zero Requiem Suzaku travels back in time to the scene in the Shinjuku Ghettos when the truck explodes. Given that the people closest to him haven’t actually spoken to Suzaku in years, the origins of Suzaku’s obvious mental instability is hilariously misattributed by various outside PoVs. So when Suzaku hits his knees in front of Lelouch, swearing eternal devotion and vowing to make Lelouch the next emperor nobody panics. (They should really reconsider panicking.) Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted
3.3.  The Sun Also Rises: At the moment of his death in the Zero Requiem, Lelouch travels back in time to his childhood body. With only a week to go before Marianne is “assassinated by terrorists” Lelouch sets out to rearrange the board in a way none of the other players will see coming until it’s far too late. Lelouch has been given a second chance to make things right, and Lelouch wouldn’t be Lelouch if he didn’t plan big. This time around, Lelouch plans for his victory to be a bit more obvious. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
4.    DCU
4.1.  Time Enough: Terry McGinnis, his little brother Matt, and their dogs are the only members of their timeline to survive because Bruce Wayne was too old to see any more of his sons die in front of him. So they all got knocked out, shoved into an escape capsule, and ejected from the Batman Beyond timeline before it crumbles. Said time pod crashes into the middle of a Red Hood versus Match throw down, and Terry’s Wayne-inherited charisma is so powerful it allows him to banter his way into good graces of both villains. Jason drags them all off to his lair because every single member of the Batfam hoards orphans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
5.    DRAGON BALL
5.1.  Saiyajin Pride: Alien biology has a larger impact on characterization that it does in canon. Mirai comes back to the main timeline live in sin with Videl and Gohan. Vegeta and Goku deal with some shit that comes from being the last full-blooded members of their species. Then just as things are settling down… Garlic is an idiot who thinks up a loophole in the “can’t wish people dead” rule and wishes Goku and Vegeta’s families straight out of existence and they end up in an entirely different reality. The only upside is that Vegeta finally gets to kill Frieza. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted
6.    FAIRY TAIL
6.1.  Flight Of Dragons: Future!Lucy misses her target and ends up landing further back in time, during the same year Natsu and the rest of the Dragon Slayer kids were brought to when they were pulled forward in time.  Fairy Tail luck kicks in, and future!Lucy runs into child!Laxus as he escapes from his father after being fed the Lightning Dragon Lacrima. Laxus is handed a Prophecy and runs with it. Children have never needed Fairy Tales to tell them that Dragons exist, but they certainly help. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
6.2.  My Heart Overflows: Juvia and Grey have finally started dating, but the Fairy Tail Mage Guild has some interesting traditions when it comes to proving the validity of a romantic relationship. Oneshot, Prompt fill - Posted
7.    FAMILIAR OF ZERO
7.1.  A Velvet Glove: Crossover with TMNT – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.    FINAL FANTASY VII
8.1.  A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta
8.2.  A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. Chaptered, WIP - Unposted
8.3.  Antiviral: Woden and Gaia conspire to create antibodies to fight off Jenova’s infection. Cid and Vincent end up bearing the brunt of this decision, get roofied by Divine Intervention, and also end up the Gaian equivalent of demonic werewolves. Also the Planet is transforming all the SOLDIERS into werewolves too, yes, even the dead ones. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.4.  For Love Of: Cid Highwind crashes the Tiny Bronco into Lucrecia’s cave, does the metaphysical equivalent of tearing her heart out and eating it to absorb her power, and them proceeds to adopt General Sephiroth as his son because it’s not like anyone can stop him. Cid Highwind does what he wants. Sephiroth does what Mother wants. SHIN-RA soon regrets everything because Cid Highwind is a hell of a lot better at rewriting the social order than Avalanche is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.5.  Hindsight is 20-20: CHAOS decides to rewrite time because they have a massive crush on Cid and they don’t want him to die. CHAOS fumbles the landing and Cid ends up in the body of some weird Lucrecia/Ancient-Cetra-Who-Was-Jenova’s-Host Clone and ends up giving birth to Sephiroth. Things only get worse from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.6.  Like it Rough: Cid likes Vincent a lot and also has a bit of a kink for scars. Cid walks in on Vincent naked, runs away to hide his raging boner, and Vincent ends up chasing Cid around the airship until he can pin his friend down in the Captain’s bunk because the demons are all drunk on the pheromones. Oneshot - Complete
8.7.  Names of Power: Jenova’s taint getting mixed into the Lifestream has far-reaching consequences, and Avalanche gets tapped to handle the fallout whither they like it or not. Series, WIP - Posted
8.7.1.     Small Packages: The Lifestream meddles in Avalanches lives even after the Planet has been saved. There are clones and ancient powers better off left alone but it’s not like Avalanche ever gets a say in the matter. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.7.2.     History Inverted: Jenova isn’t all the way gone and the Planet really doesn’t care if Humanity survives or not as long as the infection is burned away. Aerith shoves the spirits of Avalanche and their children into a new timeline because she doesn’t want to watch their souls get shredded. Avalanche proceeds to mosey along and wreak havoc in the way only they can manage. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
8.8.  To Earn the Sky: Echidna, Mother of Monsters and Heroes, and Jenova, the Calamity From the Skies, are at war. Hojo makes a very big mistake when he uses the Blood of Echidna’s Children in his Revenant Project. Cid Highwind is a good son, and his Mother wants to meet her new Grandchildren. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
9.    FINAL FANTASY XV
9.1.  A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta
10. GAME OF THRONES
10.1.               Crossover Fixits to Help Westeros be Less Miserably Doomed: Various casts from other series end up reborn in Westeros and use knowledge from their previous lives to change the Game. Series
10.1.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with MCU – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta
10.1.2. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with SW – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta
10.1.3. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover with CG – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers are reincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission to drive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to the point that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CC shows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s onto something with the “drinking to forget” thing. Meta
10.1.4. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVII – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated as the spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryen used to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta
10.1.5. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with KHR – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta
10.1.6. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover with FFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive and Crownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but Cor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there. Meta
10.1.7. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with Naruto WCE – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta
10.1.8. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with TFG1 – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta
10.2.              Singing In A Different Key: SI is reborn as Jon Snow, who then precedes to Machiavelli the fuck out of the North in preparation for the coming Long Night and also to screw over the Lannisters. Because fuckthe Lannisters. Meta
10.3.               Wolf At The Door: When Ice takes the head of Eddard Stark, Valeryian magic mixes with the Blood of the First Men. It’s wild, uncontrolled, and Ned ends up as a four year old in Winterfell’s Godswood, staring at his reflection in the water. Eddara Stark, second-born child and first-born daughter of Rikard and Lyarra Stark looks back up at him. Ned, fully believing that this is his punishment for failing his family and best friend the first time around, decides to fix the Realm by fulfilling the Pact of Fire and Ice. The thing about being a woman is that no one ever expects you to be a threat, not even other women. The thing about being the Quiet Wolf is that everyone overlooks you until the moment your teeth sink into their throat. Concept
11. GET BACKERS
11.1.               Holy Days of Yore: Various celebration themed fic that explore Ban’s backstory as the “With Queen’s Grandson” and bring a bit more of that old black magic into the Get Backer’s lifestyle. Series
11.1.1. Lupercalia: Ban gets a magic matchmaker box in the mail and everyone wears their heart on their sleeve for Valentine’s Day. Oneshot - Posted
11.1.2. Oeastre: Ban gets roped into being the master of ceremonies for Maria’s coven and Easter gets interesting. (Everyone makes like bunnies.) Oneshot - Posted
12. GIRL GENIUS
12.1.               The Other Side of the River: One of the Jagermonsters manages to catch wind of Lucrecia’s plans and absconds with Klaus Barry during the confusion caused by the first explosion. This understandably causes some disruption in everyones plans when KB and his nanny run into Agatha during her time with the Circus. WIP - Unposted
12.2.               Threefold Path: Agatha, Gil, and Tarvek get their brains booted back in time during the si vales valeo and decided to run away and join the circus until they’re old enough to take over the world properly. WIP - Unposted
13. GUNDAM WING
13.1.               Mistakes and Misdemeanors: Heero was on blockers for the entire war due to a series of implants, which did no favours to his mental health. When the implants run out Heero gets run over by a hormone train and absolutely nobody knows how to handle that. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)
14. HARRY POTTER
14.1.               Black As His Name: Sirius Back lives! Because the Veil dumps his mind-and-soul into the empty body of his younger self in a world where Walburga Black lost it on her eldest son much earlier in life and Sirius was tortured until he was left brain-dead. Arcturus Black is pissed off over the treatment of one of his Heirs and since Sirius’ magic is still intact, names Sirius the Heir to House Black and proceeds to hold the Heirship over everybody’s heads for spite for as long as Sirius continues to “live”. Everyone in the Black Family is very surprised when the annual shaming ritual disguised as Sirius’ birthday party is crashed. By none other than the birthday boy himself. Sirius rolls with it and becomes a True Black in the most Marauder manner possible. WIP - Unposted
14.2.               Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with KHR – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted
15. HOMESTUCK
15.1.               A Jump To The Left Behind: Post game reality has all the races living in a Galactic Republic, and the Troll Ancestors and Human Guardians all need to team up in order to solve the mystery of the planetoid-sized meteor that just barreled into the middle of their busiest spacelane because their names are written all over it. In the process of exploring the meteor they accidently wake up the Players and Sprites. Chaos ensues. Concept
15.2.               Pandora’s Final Gift: A mermaid AU where a Deep Old One gives Eridan (and only Eridan) the memories of his Game Player Self as a lark. Eridan hits the level cap for his current reality, freaks out, saves Sollux’s life, and then absconds as far away from the center of the Empire as he can get. Concept
16. INU YASHA
16.1.              Hunter’s Moon: The standard “Demon Mating Season” idea that draws on the infectious nature of demon energy in the Sengoku Jidai and runs with it. Everyone over the age of eighteen gets some. Kagome gets to go home and take a nap. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)
16.2.              Cry Wolf: Playing straight with the crack concept that Inuyasha and Kouga were betrothed as children. Kagome isn’t in the picture because she got yeeted back to her own time when the Shikon no Tama got purified. Chaptered, WIP – Posted (Under Revision)
17. KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN
17.1.               A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make the better Heir.” Meta
17.2.               Black Hunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with HP – Regulus and Sirius both end up dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on its Master’s behalf. Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP - Unposted
17.3.               Burning Salt Water: Crossover with OP – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. Meta, WIP - Unposted
17.4.               Cat’s Paws: Uri has seen enough Time Travel bullshit to know how it works, and so when Hayato gets himself killed she grabs his soul and flings herself backwards in time because fuck the timeline this is her human and he’s not allowed to abandon her again. The other Box Animals think it’s a great idea and do the same with their humans, and this results in the kind of alternate timeline that gives Byakuran a headache. In other words, Uri creates a timeline where Flame Actives are a lot more Alien than they used to be and now everyone thinks Youkai and other myths are real. Chapters, WIP - Posted
17.5.               Fire Shall Waken: All of Nono’s sons are still alive when the Cradle Affair happens and it results in the entire 10th Generation gathering up their Harmonies, rolling Xanxus into a blanket burrito, and taking off to Japan under assumed names where they proceed to spend the next eight years coddling Tsuna and being spoiled rotten by Nana in return. Meta
17.6.               Gremlins Della Varia: Mammon’s experiments with the Curse have had some odd side effects on the Varia. It all comes out during the Ring Battles and the other Arcobaleno are Judging You, Viper. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
17.7.               Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with Naruto. Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series, WIP
17.7.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
17.7.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted
17.7.2.1.      Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept
17.7.2.2.      Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted
17.8.               Music of the Spheres: Crossover with SM – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
17.8.1. MotS - Celestial Chorus: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta
17.8.2. MotS - Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta
17.9.               Overlooking the Obvious: They say that to truly know someone you need to walk a mile in their shoes. The adage is proven true rather dramatically when a misappropriated Possession Bullet ends up switching Gokudera and Hibari into each other’s bodies. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
17.10.           Reach For The Sky: Kamen Rider Sora and his team are the protectors of Namimori against the invasion of Youma from the dark dimension. Reborn shows up to tutor the last remaining Vongola Heir and ends up in the middle of a longstanding battle against the Forces of Evil. Does the World Greatest Hitman have what it takes to guide the mysterious masked Rider towards his true strength? Stay tuned to find out! Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted
17.11.           When the Nightingale Sings: Sky Flames are Dragons, and when a Sky is Sealed they turn into True Dragons once said Seal breaks. Tsuna has the Best Treasures Ever. Reborn is confused but willing to roll with it. Hayato needs to do all the research. Drabbles, Prompt Fill - Posted
17.12.           Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with OP – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
17.13.            
18. KYOU KARA MAOU
18.1.              The Needs Of Our Natures: Wolfram decides to prove exactly how much his mother’s son he really is and seduces Yuuri. Wolfram seduces Yuuri like it’s his job. (Yuuri likes it.) WIP - Unposted
19. MARVEL
19.1.               An Assemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life. Meta
19.2.               Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted
19.3.               Miles To Go: Post-MCU Civil War almost-Time Travel where Tony grieves so hard he sends an Extremis injector capsule to the year before the Winter Soldier murdered his parents. Said capsule lands in front of a wasted 15-year-old Tony in the aftermath of a frat party. Cue the face hugger scene. Tony gets an Extremis upgrade about 30 years ahead of schedule and it’s the only reason he survives the memory download without his brain turning into mush. WIP - Unposted
19.4.               Perception: Instead of killing Scott in X3, Dark Phoenix instead fixes the brain damage that prevented him from controlling his optic blasts and then shunts him trough time an space. Scott wakes up 18-years-old in Stryker’s lab and proceeds to hijack Wolverine’s rampage so that they can both escape. James Howlett is impressed, and Cyclops hates everything but especially time travel because it ruins all his fallback plans. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
20. NARUTO
20.1.               A Feather’s Weight: Crossover with FFVII – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. WIP - Unposted
20.2.               A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another. Meta
20.3.               A Widening Gyre: Rin survives the Chidori and her existence is now an S-class secret. Said S-class secret distracts Obito on his way to ambush Kushina’s labour and several different chase scenes take place. They all end up in the ROOT base made from one of Tobirama’s old labs and instead of Kyuubi getting loose Team Ro, the Fourth Hokage’s team of bodyguards, Obito, Anko, and all of ROOT plus Danzo himself get dumped into the Warring Clans Era. Obito kills Danzo in a panic when he realizes that taking the Bijuu means killing Rin, Kakashi sacrifices himself again, and there is a lot more running around. Kakashi suborns ROOT en masse, Obito is stupidly overpowered and homicidal but it’s okay because Kakashi is playing damsel in distress and distracting him. The Senju and the Uchiha are all really confused by these kids, there are far too many mistaken identities, and Konoha gets founded much earlier than in canon. Meta
20.4.               According to Custom: Hashirama and Madara should not be left unsupervised (that’s why Mito and Touka tend to lurk nearby when they have tea together) because it causes them to get Brilliant Ideas. This time they decide to make friends with one another’s little brothers. How Madara went from being “nice” to Tobirama to courting the oblivious younger Senju is still something of a mystery, but there are several bets riding on when Tobirama is going to realize what’s going on. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.5.               Around the River Bend: Tobirama feels Itama die and runs to the river to mourn. Quite predictably he meets Madara there, and the course of History changes. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.6.               Colours and Promises: Set a decade after the Evil has been defeated and life returned to normal, Tobirama (once the magical superhero Dragon) is still living with the side effects of sacrificing everything to save the world while he was still a teenager. Notes on a piano, and a familiar voice singing a familiar song. Tobirama finds Madara (once the magical superhero Phoenix) and finally gets to enjoy his victory. Love can be killed, but it never dies, only ever taking on new shapes as we move on with our lives. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.7.               Dare Not Speak Its Name: Madara is Demi as all get out aka Madara’s a virgin with a shy dick. Also known as the AU where Madara proposes marriage to Tobirama for the sake of peace and the children. The only reason Izuna approves is because the thought of Tobirama suffering a lifetime of blueballs is hilarious to him. Meta
20.8.               Heavy as the Mountain: Team 7 is losing the fight against Kaguya, but Obito and Kakashi perform a last-minute sacrifice that means the kids survive. It also causes them all to be de-aged by over a decade and thrown back in time to the Warring Clans Era. Kakashi and Obito die, Team 7 gets adopted by presumably-Hatake Kanna, then a few years later they run into Uchiha Izuna and it all descends into chaos. (Team 7 takes total advantage of everything to get their revenge on Zetsu and maybe fix some of Konoha’s longstanding issues at the same time.)  Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted
20.8.1. Crumble To The Sea: The adventures of time travelling Team 7 as they get adopted by the Uchiha Clan, arrange to make Izuna’s life miserable until he proves worthy of courting their An-chan, and get aggressively mother-henned by Uchiha Madara. (The last one came as a bit of a surprise.) Kurama ends up adopting the Uchiha Clan because he likes frustrating Zetsu, and Team 7 appreciates the extra time to grow taller before they need to go weed whacking. Concept
20.9.               In Konoha We Dance: The Uchiha Clan has a tradition of belly dancing and it fixes everything that was wrong with Konoha in canon. Series
20.9.1. O-Bon Appetite: Thanks to his dance training Izuna manages the core control to dodge Tobirama’s sword enough to avoid a fatal wound and Konoha starts off on more equal footing. Tobirama then walks into a traditional Uchiha celebration and his brain shuts off. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.9.2. Hot Like Burning: Kushina drags Minato to the Uchiha Police Office Party so she can make time with Mikoto and there is so much skin, Minato was not emotionally prepared for this. Fugaku takes advantage of the Yondaime’s weakness as only an Uchiha can and the glorious ‘ship FuMiKuMi sets sail. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.9.3. Got This Fire Burning: Overnight shifts at the Mission Desk gets boring. Konoha ninja like to dance, because dancing isn’t boring. Kakashi shows them all how it’s done when a member of Team 7 hits it. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.10.           Karma, and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with KHR – Legendary Ninja from the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt all the Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer. Series - WIP
20.10.1.                Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito are ninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and some minor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be in Clans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long before the child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obito repents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life. Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP, Chaptered - Posted
20.10.2.                Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothers are reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno curse being put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start hunting for the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimori during Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take well to this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madara hunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly. Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshot - Posted
20.10.2.1.  Karmic Justice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigating the Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target for child stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madara and Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. Concept
20.10.2.2.  Karmic Justice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting in Italy for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madara instantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, and Tsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-Xanatos-Gambit-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP - Unposted
20.11.           Look the Innocent Flower: Orochimaru gets the Hat instead of Minato because instead of working for Danzo he creates his Baby-no-Jutsu (the same one that produced Rogu and Mitsuki) and that’s how Orochimaru accidently turns Tenzo into the Orochimaru-and-Tsunade lovechild while field testing some gene-splicing adoption techniques. Sarutobi is so delighted by all the babies he names Orochimaru his successor without any further debate. Konoha proceeds to become a somewhat androgynous, gender-fluid utopia full off affectionate, friendly people who only want you for your body. Orochimaru refuses to allow hypocrisy in his Konoha and loyalty to ones comrades is not only encouraged, it’s enforced. Meta
20.12.           Negotiation is an Artform: Remix of The Art of Negotiation by Kage88 – Konoha’s Founders take a trip to Uzushio and the Uzumaki are annoyingly persistent in their attentions, even when said attentions are unwanted. Tobirama’s political savvy is not to be underestimated, and Tobirama’s just as ridiculously overprotective of his loved ones as his relatives are of him. Bitchy pining resolves into dating, and the only reason Tobirama lets Hashirama get away with betting on his love life is because Hashirama was the only one who had faith in Tobirama making the first move. Oneshot, Fandom Exchange Fill - Complete
20.13.           No Evil Abolishing Resentment System: Post Kaguya’s return, Madara gets bound by a System determined to help Madara turn all his Resentment Level into Love Points via a quick transmigration plot. Transmigrator!Madara gets to kiss-kiss fall in love with Reincarnator!Tobirama 55 times in a row. I promise that all the gratuitous makeout sessions are plot relevant. Meta
20.14.           Only Fools Rush In: Also known as the Uchiha Get Catnipped AU – the scene of Rin’s suicide is a few seconds off from canon and this not only results in Rin remaining alive, but Obito is also welcomed back to life so enthusiastically by his teammates that his Makengyou spontaneously manifests. A year or so later, Danzo attempts to use an experimental drug to weaken the Uchiha Clan enough for ROOT to have an easy time killing them and/or an excuse for eradicating the entire Clan. Only the drug is a happy-making drug that has every single member of the Clan manifest the Makengyou and immediately run off to snuggle their friends, family, and sundry other precious people. Meta
20.15.           Red in Hand and Claw: Madara has Raptor Summons. This fact is significantly more terrifying than anyone outside of the Uchiha Clan is really aware of. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.16.           Roads Diverged: Kakashi from a Darker-Than-Canon AU ends his fight with Obito with mutual destruction, and as they both lay dying Kakashi confesses to having always loved Obito. Obito being Obito and therefore unholy levels of Extra even for an Uchiha, proceeds to use Edo Tensai on Team 7 in order to heal Kakashi and then fling him through dimensions until he lands in a Lighter-Than-Canon AU where Kakashi sees Rin in time to avoid hitting her with the Chidori. Things spiral from there. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
20.17.           Spite And Fury: A crossover with the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta
20.18.           That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with SW – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it was allowed to cover an entire planet. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP - Posted
20.19.           The Memory Remains: Canon divergence via the reincarnation of Uchiha Izuna, his wife Kanna, and Senju Touka as Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi, and Nohara Rin. Yes, they retained all their memories. Yes, Konoha is going to suffer for its sins against the children. Yes, this is going to end in a Team Minato threesome. Meta
20.20.           The Thin Line: Kakashi loses patience with the Sandaime when no appreciable action is taken to remove Danzo from power even after Kakashi literally reports to Sarutobi’s face that he was ordered by Danzo to assassinate the Third Hokage. So Kakashi crashes an Uchiha Clan meeting and asks them to run away with him and his cute little brothers to a lovely tropical Island. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Kakashi and the Uchiha Clan proceed to re-found Uzushio and collect a few S-class missing nin along the way. Meta, WIP - Unposted
20.21.           The Waters and the Wild: The Senju are High Court Fae, and the Uchiha are Wild Hunt Shapeshifters. Tobirama attempts to interrupt Hashirama and Madara during their riverside meeting, only it backfires when he realizes that Madara is his Soulmate. Also the Uchiha are “clothing optional” and Tobirama was not emotionally prepared for this. Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted
20.22.           To Linger In Dreams: After Kaguya takes over his body Madara gets yeeted out of reality into the Void. An eldritch Void god takes an interest in Madara and chucks Madara into a Magic Fantasy AU and Madara is even more not-Human than he was before. Also known as that really fucked up AU with cursed ABO dynamics. Meta
20.23.           Truth in Hyperbole: Shinobi are what happen when Aliens and Humans have kids, Bloodline Talents are what happens when Kami and Youkai ancestry gets added to the pot. Most of the time Shinobi stay mostly Human. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they really don’t. Series - WIP
20.23.1.                Blood Price: Tobirama wakes up after being killed and proceeds to resurrect his little brothers and Madara’s little brothers. Tobirama would resurrect Madara too but Madara had already managed to resurrect himself. Oneshot, Comm. Fill - Posted
20.23.2.                Still Waters Run: The Sage of Six Paths gets his ass kicked by his ex-wife, his daughter-in-law, and Tobirama’s mother. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.23.3.                A Thing With Feathers: Madara’s side of the story of their transformation into minor kami. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.23.4.                Come Away: Zetsu is targeting Obito in another attempt to create the Rinnegan. Kakashi has his first “near death” experience and Obito is not amused at all. Neither is Rin. Team 7 is overprotective and codependent regardless of the generation in question. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.23.5.                Quoth the Raven: Danzo’s schemes got him chased out of Konoha to escape execution, and he invades during the Chunin Exams in order to get his revenge. Summoning Tobirama using the Edo Tensai was probably not the best plan. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.24.           Tsukumogami No Kankurou: While he is still very young, Kankurou signs a Summons contract with the Tsukumogami (aka the Muppet Theater Troupe) and then proceeds to interrupt Yashamaru’s “attack” on Gaara while simultaneously wreaking havoc across the entirety of Sunagakure. All of this is done to get back at Rasa for not letting Kankurou play with his baby brother. The Middle Child Syndrome is strong in this one. Never underestimate the power of petty spite. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.25.           Twice is Happenstance: As a side effect of the battle against Kaguya breaking through dimensions, the ghosts of the Uchiha Clan send their memories as far back as possible. On the eve of his younger brother’s assassinations, Uchiha Madara wakes up with memories of being Indra and Sasuke. All the Uchiha have memories of their past and future lives combining with their current selves, and it causes something of a fracas while it gets sorted out. Cue the Uchiha Exodus That Fucks Over Canon. Oneshot - Posted
20.25.1.                Enemy Action: The building of Uchihatlantis, the knockback effects of remembering more than one lifetime, and what happens when the Uchiha start to go back out into the world in order to hunt down their spouses and mess up Zetsu’s plans. Meta
20.26.           Two Steps Back: Retired Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi accidently has his first vacation ever interrupted when he visits the Uzushiogakure ruins and gets slingshot back an incarnation or two due to triggering a derelict seal. Kakashi being Kakashi, he proceeds to continue with his vacation until he has a drunken bar hookup with Uchiha Izuna and now the beloved younger brother of Uchiha “I-can-fight-five-armies-and-win” Madara is stalking Kakashi in order to recite (hilariously awful) poetry about the beauty of Kakashi’s kenjutsu. This is not the retirement Kakashi signed up for. Drabbles, Prompt Fills – Posted
20.26.1.     TSB – And a Jump To The Left: The epic courtship confusion which descends upon the Land of Fire when the Time-Travelling King of Trolls and an Angry Weasel Brat attempt to out-romance each other. Meta
20.27.           Two Truths and a Lie: Mikoto and Kushina have been fake!dating for years to keep the more annoying Uchiha relatives from trying to get her married off. It’s a brilliant plan, and it works perfectly. But times change, and Kushina’s eyes are very pretty. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
20.28.           Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with OP – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushiogakure on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted
20.29.           Worth of a Thousand Words: Political Hostage!Tobirama gets caught by the Uchiha just before he manages to use Hiraishin in battle for the first time. The Uchiha are all sensors that use Ninshu techniques otherwise since lost to time to communicate among themselves. This results in a much more united Uchiha Clan who are perfectly willing to let Madara push for a peace treaty with the Senju now that Tobirama’s capture has given them the leverage to do so. Meta
21. NURARIHYON NO MAGO
21.1.               1001 Demonic Nights: An AU Rikuo who was dragged into Yomi along with his Hakkai Yakko during the battle against the Nue manages to escape from hell by jumping into an alternate reality where his mother Wakana had a threesome with Rihan and Otome. Wakana left to take over her family shrine without telling her lovers that she was pregnant. The Rikuo who was born as a result died as an infant from the Nue’s curse on Nurarihyon’s bloodline. Both Rikuo and Otome’s daughter were conceived on the same night and are both half-demons due to Rihan shifting forms for kinky species-play. WIP - Unposted
22. ONE PIECE
22.1.               Burning Salt Water: Crossover with KHR – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jackson during the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways and he ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the execution Xanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace sets the Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP – Unposted
22.2.               How Far I’ll Go: Roger had other lovers before he met Rouge and one of them was a Fishwife that he met at a Peacemoot. Their daughter was a mermaid and thus needed to remain on Fishman Island for her own safety. The World Government is so Human-centric that they don’t bother looking into any of Roger’s lady friends from the other races. Gol D Ann gives no shits about anybodies prejudices and when her mixed up genetics mean her feet come in about 20 years early she immediately takes off to track down her baby brother. Goldfish is Luffy’s favourite sibling and Ann is delighted to find three baby brothers for the price of one. WIP - Unposted
22.3.               Rumour, Slander, Hearsay: Garp is even worse at interpersonal communication than in canon and now the entire Marine fleet thinks that Monkey D Dragon is an oversexed degenerate who keep dumping his illegitimate spawn on his poor heroic father’s doorstep. Otherwise known as Dragon adopts ASL and they seek a glorious Revolution. Meta
22.4.               Those Who Favour Fire: Ace survives Marineford, even if only in spirit, because the Goddess of the Sea answered the prayer of another version of Ace. Waking up in the place of his 17-year-old murdered doppelganger, Ace now has to deal with raising a 7-year-old Luffy and escaping the notice of the Marines. Oh, and his murdered younger self is hanging around as a ghost, all the younger versions of Luffy’s crewmates keep showing up on Ace’s boat, and Ace keeps getting tripped up over how much more horrible this world is compared to the one he came from. Chaptered WIP - Posted
22.5.               Where the Sky Meets the Sea: Crossover with KHR – The ASL Trio are reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remember everything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despite lacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsu does keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more than one son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nono never meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everything is now on fire. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
22.6.               Wildfire Hearts: Ace goes back in time from his death to the Grey Terminal Fire, figures out how to use natural fire to heal himself, saves child!Ace and child!Luffy, changes his name to Portgas D Riot, runs away to the Grand Line with his baby brothers, puts together a new pirate crew, and hits on Marco so hard the Phoenix forgets how to complete his sentences. Everything works out for the better. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
22.6.1. WH – Heave A Sigh And A Wish For Me: SI-Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid named Occhio D Vittoria gets tapped in by the Ocean Goddess to help Riot et al from Wildfire Hearts succeed in their adventures.Oneshot, Prompt Fill – Posted
22.6.2. WH – Today Is The Day Of Reckoning: Riot is gathering up his new crew, forming the Anarchy Pirates, dealing with Garp, seducing Marco the Pheonix, and discovering that Sabo survived when his little brothers gatecrash a Revolutionary Army mission. Meta
22.7.               Wills of Fire and Conquest: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushio on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP - Unposted
23. PETSHOP OF HORRORS
23.1.               Event Horizons: Leon isn’t human, and that changes things in the aftermath of the confrontation with Papa D. Count D wants to unravel the mystery of his favourite Detective, and Leon is starting to wake up. Hopefully they both find the knowledge they’re looking for before it’s too late and their enemy finds them. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)
24. POKÉMON
24.1.              The Hero Of His Own Story: When Green Oak is replaced as the Kanto Champion less than a full 24 hours after winning the title, he runs. Right into a Celebi that was looking for an assistant. Green Oak gets over his bullshit really fast because oh shit that’s an Angry Legendary. Green is also supremely unimpressedwith Red’s bullshit when he learns that Red was supposed to be dealing with all the world-saving events but is instead hiding in a depression cave. Meta
25. SAILOR MOON
25.1.               From Olympus to Mu: The Senshi go to college and Mamoru reunites with the Shitennou. Basis of headcanons and characterization for any further post-canon SM fic. WIP - Unposted
25.2.               Music of the Spheres: Crossover with KHR – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola Inheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. Chaptered WIP - Posted
25.2.1. MotS – Celestial Chorus – MotS Spinoff AU: Chibiusa’s arrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out of hand. Meta
25.2.2. MotS – Sing In Exaltation: The Shingo from The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life hears the name of his ‘cousin in Namimori’ and immediately begins to meddle. Meta
25.3.               The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life: SI is reborn as Tsukino Shingo under the aegis of the Roman God Janus and then proceeds to merrily say ‘screw canon, my sister gets to be happy or else’. Oneshot, Prompt Fill - Posted
26. SCUM VILLAINS SELF-SAVING SYSTEM
26.1.               Spite And Fury: A crossover with Naruto and the “Original Goods” Proud Immortal Demon Way from Scum Villains Self-Saving System – Uchiha Madara and Shen Jiu get combined into a single person and Cang Qiong is not ready for this much concentrated asshole. Too bad for them, the new-and-improved Shen Qingqui is here to stay. Meta
27. SLAYERS
27.1.               Infinite Blue: Zelgadis starts paying more attention to the deeper practices of Shamanism and gets in touch with his demonic side while achieving deeper harmony in himself. Xellos approves and it all results in magic explosions and very strange demonic courtship rituals. WIP - Unposted
28. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
28.1.               Skipped Tracks: The triplets from Underground end up transmigrating into the recently deceased bodies of their counterparts in a SatAM reality and proceed to rock out and confuse everyone. WIP - Unposted
29. STAR WARS
29.1.               A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the Long Night. Meta
29.2.               A Robe of Stars: Crossover with TMNT – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP – Unposted
29.3.               That We Answer to Our Stars: Crossover with Naruto – Kaguya’s reality warp has some strange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to ever exist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld that is essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it hadn’t been fenced in. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta, Chaptered WIP – Posted
30. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
30.1.               A Robe of Stars: Crossover with SW – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save the Initiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once the children are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to saving the Vode. WIP - Unposted
30.2.               A Velvet Glove: Crossover with FOZ – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
30.3.               Iron Laced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai in disguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council of Shadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when they took over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony is actually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked in his dragon form. WIP - Unposted
30.4.               Paper Flowers: Leonardo and Michelangelo reconnect after years of separation and deal with some leftover issues from their childhood while they prepare to welcome the next generation of Ninja Turtles into the world. WIP - Unposted
30.5.               Patching the Trousers: Starting from the end of the Fast Forward arc, Leonardo gets lost in the multiverse and proceeds to adopt all the secondary turtles. All of them. Leonardo is the Mom Friend, only he’s not a friend he’s just a Mom. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
30.6.               Stained Bandages: Realistic resolution to the most common dark!Splinter tropes. Leo doesn’t really care about himself, but if you touch his brothers he will kill you. Splinter touches Raphael. Karai is gifted with Splinter’s decapitated head in a box. Oneshot- Posted
30.7.               Unraveled Sleeves: After First Contact and Splinter’s death from old age, the Turtles scattered to live their lives. Leonardo is the only one who stayed in the Lair. Making peace with the Karai was only the first step towards healing, and Leo makes peace with himself as he takes on students and his family grows again. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
31. TRANSFORMERS
31.1.               A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events. Meta
31.2.              Action Equals Reaction: There is a time and a place for everything. Even things like learning that your Air Commander is pregnant, and his parents are wingnuts. The middle of battle is neither the time nor the place. Oneshot - Posted
31.3.               Compromising Positions: Bay’verse Shattered Glass – Megatron knows that there’s something wrong with his brother, but nobody will listen to him. Oneshot - Posted
31.4.               High Stakes Wagers: Decepticon Romantic Gestures at their finest. Series
31.4.1. The Bet: Soundwave saves Starscream’s life after he gets blasted away from Unicron and they proceed to have wild, kinky spark-bonding and that’s it that’s the plot. Oneshot - Posted
31.4.2. The Rebirth: Starscream and Soundwave head off Galvatron and Zarak’s attempt to destroy Cybertron (and Earth, but that’s really secondary to them) and earn their just rewards for being on the winning side. Oneshot - Posted
31.5.               Nine Rings of Vos: The Epic Seeker Saga where Starscream is the uncontested leader of the Seekers and he’s using the Great War as a cover to renew his people’s population numbers, add some variety to their core coding, and also destroy the Cybertronian Government because they liked to make Seekers into their slaves. Seven-part Series, Chaptered, WIP - Posted
31.5.1. Before Dawn: A Rings spin-off where the Seekers are actually all sparklings who disguised themselves as their parents in order to survive the Great War. Crash-landing on Earth precipitates the Big Reveal and also the actual adult Seekers get woken from Government sanctioned stasis thanks to the energy surges caused by resource shipments coming in from Earth. Chaptered, WIP - Posted
31.6.               No Evil: Starscream is a scientist who wants to stay a scientist but he’s so damn good at being Air Commander that he gets promoted anyway. Also, his best friend/roommate from the War Academy is the closest thing to a therapist that the Decepticons have and that means Starscream stays mostly sane. Concept, WIP - Unposted
31.7.               Thundercracker’s So Crazy in Love: Seekers Go Into Heat and that will put the War on pause for a bit because of the crazy. Series
31.7.1. Always the Quiet Ones: Thundercracker terrorizes the Decepticon forces on Earth while displaying for his Wingmates and accidently kills Megatron. Oneshot - Posted
31.7.2. Decepticon Service Announcement: Thundercracker is the new Supreme Leader of the Decepticons and he’s decided that they’re in a good position to negotiate peace terms with the Autobots now. Oneshot - Posted
32. YU-GI-OH
32.1.               Old Game, New Rules: Sentinels and Guides are a built in part of society and a certain playing card game ties into that a bit more than most people would expect. There’s a lot of gratuitous soul-bonding smut, worldbuilding runs rampant, and there’s a lot of social commentary on the futility of stereotyping any portion of the population based on a single point of commonality. Chaptered WIP – Unposted
32.2.               The Future of the Past: Jounouchi’s past life left a surprise in their soul that the trip to memory world triggers and now Katsuya is living through all of Jono’s memories. Chaptered WIP – Posted (Under Revision)
33. YU YU HAKUSHO
33.1.              Bonds: Koenma and Yusuke are soulmates and Enma Daioh interferes because one his brat son is properly wedded and bedded Enma can take a long overdue vacation. Oneshot – Posted
33.1.1.                  Ties That Bind: Koenma and Yusuke are just starting to get used to being bonded mates when a new/old-and-forgotten enemy shows up to complicate things. WIP – Unposted (Under Revision)
33.2.              What Happens on Vacation: Crossover with Bleach – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. Chaptered WIP - Unposted
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diavolodigitale · 3 years ago
Text
L’appel Du Vide: 00 Despicable Him
It took me a whole goddamn year to finally win the fight I fought against myself and start posting this story. I have 7 complete chapters written already but now cannot seem to find the strength to continue, so I was hoping releasing it into the world would give me a nice boost. Anyway, my friends enjoyed the story so if in reality it turns out to be bad, it’s obviously their fault, not mine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Rhys is the CEO of Atlas and Jack's AI is back, surprise, surprise! Now Rhys is dismayed, Jack doesn't care much, and the events of Borderlands 3 are just beginning to unravel. Is there any way to fix the plot of this game? Would it be any better if Rhys had to cooperate with Jack this whole time? Well, this is your chance to find out!
Spoiler: yes, dammit, it would. Everything's better with a bit of Handsome Jack in it.
Genres: Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Alternate Canon, POV Third Person, Humor, Drama, Plot-driven (kind of? well, it has plot)
Pairing: Handsome Jack’s AI/Rhys (this is only the 1st chapter so don’t expect much yet)
Characters: Handsome Jack’s AI, Rhys
Rating: M for Mature but not in this chapter lol
Size: around 2500 words (chapter 1/11)
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Rhys’s office was great. He liked to sit in his big executive’s chair and dreamily look outside instead of doing the paper work. The view was also great. Well, kind of.
What did not seem so great, however, was the war he had been recently dragged into by the Maliwan corporation. He didn’t like being involuntarily involved into global affairs, especially those that had something to do with fusions or takeovers. The situation his company was in was bothering him at the moment, so he took a deep thoughtful breath and continued staring into the window.
“Hey, kiddo,” said the voice of somebody who definitely could not be in Rhys’s office neither at this given moment nor at any other time. Rhys was almost sure in his sanity so he proceeded to ignore the not-uttered words, although he, for some unknown reason, became visibly shaken.
“He-e-ey,” said the voice with those familiar little notes of annoyance that would let the hearer know that the person speaking clearly didn’t like being ignored.
A half-transparent blue hand waved in front of Rhys’s face, and he totally lost it.
Still somehow managing to remain seated in his chair, Rhys jerked back and rolled right through the blue figure formerly standing behind him.
“Wha…” muttered Rhys, barely able to speak at all, “Jack? What are you… I mean, how… I mean, is that really you?”
“Calm down, Rhysie,” said Jack with the same smug expression on his face – perhaps, the only thing that was unchangeable apart from his self-confidence, principles, self-esteem, disrespect for the others, sly nature, and, well, many, many other things really. “I get it, you’re happy to see me, but gosh, have some self-respect!”
Rhys was still confused, so after a few seconds of silence Jack felt the need to add, “Of course, it’s me”.
“But I thought you’re…”
“Dead? Gone? Dead and gone?” Jack clicked his tongue three times. “I thought, you knew me better, Rhysie. I thought, you’d welcome me with your arms wide open. Are you not happy to see me?”
“I am,” Rhys started nodding zealously and clenched his fists tight, hoping that Jack wouldn’t notice he was shaken. “But I don’t understand. What happened…”
“What happened was a mistake. I was gone for a while, but now I’m here to stay.” Jack leaned towards Rhys’s face and smiled. It was in no way an amiable smile. His glowing eyes reminded those of a vulture watching his prey. He already started to smell fear in the air.
“And where exactly is here?” asked Rhys with the last glimmer of hope fading from his voice. More than anything now he wished for the story not to repeat itself, but it was not like he had a choice or something.
Jack only tapped on Rhys’s temple with his index finger and leaned back. Rhys didn’t feel the touch but the gesture itself made him uncomfortable. He knew what it meant, unfortunately.
Jack jumped onto the table of the CEO of Atlas and crossed his legs and arms, waiting.
Rhys swallowed loudly. This was not great at all. He was sure his head was clear from this phantom and there was nothing to worry about. He was sure he would never again be convinced to go against his nature and pursue the world domination. Or any kind of domination. He was sure, but whenever it came to Jack, he was a defeatist.
“This can’t be true. I don’t believe you came back. I must’ve hit my head or I’m just seeing things…” Rhys’s voice quavered in disbelief when he spoke.
“Now-now, honey, no need to worry so much. You know I don’t like it when you wince, it makes you look older. Seeing me here must make you feel sorry for what you’ve done, but you should know that I don’t hold any grudge. Actually, I’m kida proud of you, you know. It only proves I was right all along,” said Jack roguishly. His manner of speech made his words sound benign, as if he was forgiving sins during the confession. Rhys was still not buying it.
“I did what I had to, what you made me do! If anything, it was YOUR fault, YOU betrayed me, so don’t you try making ME responsible for everything! I don’t know what kind of mind game this is, but I know you can’t be here.”
As Jack opened his mouth to yet again say something pricky, Rhys, still sitting in his chair and tightly gripping its arms, yelled at top of his lungs, “Begone! Begone, foul apparition!”.
The apparition sat on the table, sandbagged and with a dropped jaw, for a few moments and then uttered “Wow. Just wow. I’ve always known you’re weird, but this is just… wow. Are you on drugs or something? I’m not judging, you just seem really… deranged? I wanna say deranged, but I’m not sure it’s the right word.”
Rhys snuffled resentfully and looked at Jack with a brooding expression on his face. “You won’t go?” he asked, not really hoping anymore.
“Nope, kiddo. Everything’s gonna be just like the good old times – me as a hero and you as a… as a… I dunno, a less attractive sidekick?” Rhys quietly sighed, holding his head in his hands. “We’re gonna hang out, kill bandits, save the world, and I will always, always be at your side. I’ll make sure of that.”
“I killed you, Jack. I destroyed you. I ripped you out of my body, tore you apart and threw you away from my memory. Nothing’s gonna be the same anymore, you know that.”
“No, Rhys, I was killed by some OTHER goddamn crappy bags of… ugh, I’m not even gonna bother with that. You and me just had a misunderstanding. Often happens between two forceful promising personalities, like between me and the previous Hyperion CEO. Oh, wait, no,”–Jack scratched his head and furrowed his eyebrows–“no, I killed him, that’s a bad example. Anyway, you know what I mean.”
“I smashed my fucking arm to get rid of you! You,”–Rhys pointed his cybernetic finger at Jack–“are the only one who is insane here if you think that’s nothing. We both know what we did, Jack. Whatever you want, I’m not helping you. The last time I tried, you took control of me and tried to end my life.”
Jack’s expression turned from stolid to menacing as fast as gray clouds cover the sun and it starts raining in summer. He wanted to be good, he really believed that he did.
“Why do you always have to be so stubborn?” he hissed at Rhys. “I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want me to. No matter how much I don’t want to admit it, I’m dependent on you, you little whiny coward, so do me a favor – be a good boy and listen to what daddy has to say. You kept your eye implant, didn’t you? Don’t even try arguing with me, I know you did. It was your decision to leave it be, so it’s you who brought me here. I’m grateful for that and I promise not to be nasty. No taking over bodies and no homicidal tendencies. Well, at least when it comes to you, pumpkin.”
“…Okay,” fumbled Rhys. Even though he didn’t believe this was really the case, he knew disputing with Jack never solved anything anyway. “Although… I didn’t really use the chip afterwards. I don’t know how you’ve found out I had kept it, but I surely wasn’t that stupid so as to put it back into my head after what you had done. I really want to know how you’ve managed to–”
“We all have our secrets, Rhysie. But enough about me, let’s talk about you.” Jack gave Rhys a wink. “How’ve ya been? Must admit, I fell out of the loop and now need an update,” he said petulantly. Now he was idly looking around as if he had lost all interest in what was happening.
Rhys decided to let go of his worries for now. If he couldn’t make Jack talk, his only option was to gain his trust once again and find out how he survived. Or if he did at all. Just be composed, not the worst scenario you’ve ever been in, he said to himself.
“Um, actually, I’m great. This is my office and… We’re doing fantastically if you disregard the fact that we’re at war with Maliwan and currently I am occupied with this new–”
“Yeah-yeah, okay, what was there about a war? I don’t remember Maliwan scum being at least somehow dangerous. How did you even manage to mess this up?”
Rhys stood up from his huge chair, arms akimbo, eyes disdainfully narrowed, and went on with his story, affronted and even a little peevish.
“As I was saying, I’m working on a new plan right now. At this point I’m pretty fed up with Katagawa, this new CEO of Maliwan,”–definitely peevish right now–“Oh, in fact, I just hate him so much!”–now even irate–“The day he murdered all his siblings, he just mobilized his fleet and went straight to my planet! Who in the right mind does that? Could’ve sent a message at least. Anyway,”–Rhys hid his hands into his pockets and sunk back into his chair, having lost all his righteous anger–“he wants our corporations to merge, to fuse, as he says, to become one.” The irritation on Jack’s face was becoming more distinct with every word Rhys said. “He wants me to sign the deal and share my developments with him, can you believe it? That greedy bastard!”
“Proposals like that don’t just come out of nowhere. Seems like he’s been watching you. This Katagawa guy, what does he offer you in return? Money, contacts, tech?”
“Himself, I guess,” said Rhys without any second thought.
“What?” asked Jack contemptuously. He was already close to seeing red. Rhys forgot how it worked with him.
“He said we would become partners, but I think it’s all lies to make it seem pretty. I suspect he will simply take control of Atlas and our new shiny guns, and all my work will be wasted.”
“I see, no one can trick our Rhysie,” said Jack, grinning. “Thank god, at least some good news.”
“That’s right!” said Rhys, perhaps, more enthusiastically than he should have. “No one,” he added more quietly. Except for you, you snake, muttered the inner voice inside his head.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something this whole time. Funny how I really haven’t been here for long, but you know. May I?”
Jack’s incisive manner of speech was absent, so Rhys took his guard down for a moment, getting the feeling that this conversation was like one of those they used to have before – unbraced and at times even innocuous.  
“I know what’s on your mind, Jack,” he said, heartfelt and certain.
“You do?” Jack undoubtfully seemed surprised at his interlocutor’s insight.
“Yes. I’ve noticed how you look at me and I know exactly what you want to ask.” Rhys made himself more comfortable in the chair, crossed his legs and sat straight, in a more business-like manner. “This,”–he made a vague hand gesture around the area of his mouth–“is a siege mustache. Shh, let me finish, you can’t say anything I haven’t heard about it before. My troops love it, and as a good commander, I do what I can to boost morale on the battlefield. Of course, I don’t go out there, but they are happy enough when they see my hologram. A-a-and, now you can talk. I guess. If you want to. By the way, I don’t care if you hate it, it’s my face so–”
“You know what? I love it. Love it. Never thought I would say that, but I am saying it right now, so here you are. The second rule of a successful boss – do what the fuck you wanna do with your face. The first one is murder the previous boss, of course.”
“Really?” gingerly asked Rhys, who, in reality, had never heard anything good about his poor moustache.
“Really. But I must upset you, Rhysie. This is not what was bothering me. You see, there’s this other little thing, pretty close in its significance to your moustache.”
“Oh,” uttered Rhys nonchalantly, “what is it?”
“Hyperion. What’s with it? What’s with MY Hyperion, Rhysie?”
At the sound of that very word Rhys hunched in his chair and felt as if he was reducing in size under Jack’s cold gaze.
“After what had happened… the Helios was destroyed and everything collapsed and…”
Rhys sat silent, not able to go on, and this was the last thing he should’ve done. Jack was not in the mood for such a behavior.
“Look me square in my fucking translucent eyes, Rhys, and tell me – what is with my Hyperion?” yelled Jack.
He still sat on the table quite far from Rhys, but it seemed like the room suddenly shrunk and he was right in front of him. Jack was a ghost, a phantom, not able to do anything, not able to inflict any damage or even touch him, but Rhys sensed the danger. No matter in what form, Handsome Jack was still Handsome Jack.
“I don’t know. I guess, somebody took control of it after I left. The weapons are still being manufactured, but I didn’t bother to find out who was the next in line after Helios was… after I destroyed Helios.”
Rhys exhaled loudly and averted his eyes from Jack. Oh, yes, making Jack angry is much easier than making him proud, how could I forget, he thought.
“I see. I didn’t doubt for a second you would do that to infuriate me. Believe it or not, this is the first time I’d rather be disappointed. But you know what? It doesn’t matter now. Now we’re bonding,” Jack sucked the air through his teeth, “now we’re rebuilding what was destroyed like a family we are. Isn’t that great? Look at us, two best buddies exchanging the latest news.”
“And you promised not to be nasty this time...?” Rhys made a feeble attempt to save himself and remind Jack about the terms under which he was allowed to accompany him.
“Yes, Rhysie, and you know damn well I keep my promises.”
And he did. But only when he promised to kill somebody.
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cosmic-affinities · 4 years ago
Text
Fantasy Meets Reality Ch. 3
The third chapter of my BNHA fantasy AU is here!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Summary: Of fucking course, it had to be Katsuki Bakugou.
Who else would have a weirdo clone from some kind of ‘Alternate Dimension’ show up to mess up their life? Obviously no one.
Of fucking course, Bakugou just had to be the one who temporarily imprinted on the random-ass third year who had a dimension summoning quirk.
Because why wouldn’t he?
Thank to everyone for their patience, hopefully this 13k chapter makes up for it!
CHAPTER 3 STARTS HERE
“Midoriya! Bro, open up!”
Izuku woke with a start, there was a voice outside his door and he was too tired to recognise it.
“Izuku, what’s going on? Why aren’t you opening the door?” A second voice called out.
To prevent any further yelling and knocking Izuku stumbled out of bed to his door and opened it, not expecting to see Kit and Kirishima waiting on the other side.
“Midobro! There you are! What were yo- did you just wake up?”
With bleary eyes Izuku nodded and moved aside, as to invite them in, they quickly entered the room and allowed the door to close behind them.
“Can I ask why you guys are here so early? It’s seven am.”
“Izuku today very well may be my last day here and I would like to see you figure everything out with Bakugou.”
“Yeah Midobro! Bakugou is always up super early anyways, so maybe we can’t start things a bit early!”
Izuku was amazed at the sheer energy the redhead in front of him was radiating, Izuku was usually a morning person but even this was a bit much.
“Alright just give me a minute to wake up, what did you guys have in mind for the plan?”
“Well, seeing as Bakugou should already be awake, we were thinking that instead of waiting for lunch, we should just do everything after breakfast, Kirishima told me that most people spend their Sundays at the nearby park, it would be beneficial to us if we were the only four in the common room.”
“Yeah! Bakubro tends to wait a while on Sundays-”
“Because he likes the empty common room yeah, but why would it help for us to be the only ones there? Wouldn’t it be good to have someone Kit can go talk to after I turn him down? Maybe we can try getting Todoroki to stick around.”
“You might have a point there Midobro, how are we going to do that?”
“I can just ask Todoroki and Uraraka to take Kit to the park with them, they’ll wait for him so he will have a perfect out. Plus if I tell Uraraka that it's to help me get a move on with Kacchan then she will agree without a second thought. Is that alright, Kit?”
“Yes, yes that is fine. I do expect to see you both there together though.”
“Alright great, can you guys like go now? I literally just woke up, I need to take a shower and get ready.”
“For sure Midobro! We didn’t actually mean to wake you up!”
“Yeah, no, it's fine! I should have probably been getting up anyway!”
“Alright Izuku, don’t be too long though, like we said Bakugou should already be awake.”
Izuku stood up and gathered his bathroom bag.
“I will actually follow you guys out.”
The trio left Izuku’s room quickly, Izuku trailing behind, allowing the two figures in front of him to make their way to the common room. He let his mind wander and it quickly drifted to Bakugou, not an uncommon occurrence. Slowly Izuku started to worry, he hoped everything went alright today because he couldn’t risk losing Bakugou’s friendship. A sudden voice brought him out of his thoughts.
“Oi nerd! What were Shitty Hair and Discount Me doing in your room?”
“Oh hey Kacchan!”
“Yeah yeah whatever hey. So you gonna answer my question?”
Izuku silently panicked; he couldn’t tell him the truth, but he also knew that Bakugou would be able to tell he was lying.
“Oh that? They just wanted to go over the plan for today, Kirishima told Kit about how everyone goes to the park on Sundays.”
Izuku hoped it would be enough, he didn’t lie at all so hopefully he didn’t show it.
“Tch leave it to shitty hair to drag the poor bastard around all day.” Izuku could have sworn Bakugou looked almost relieved, but he couldn’t tell why.
“Yeah, apparently they are going to have Todoroki and Uraraka take them, so the four of them can go together.”
“I’m surprised shitty hair isn’t taking pikachu, guess he didn’t man up and ask him.”
“Maybe he’s just waiting for the right time! There’s nothing wrong with that!”
“There would be nothing wrong with that if I didn’t have to watch them dance around each other all the damn time. Speak of the devil.”
Kirishima came into view in front of the pair, who had, somewhere along the line, stopped to talk to each other rather than continue walking.
“Hey bros! Midoriya do you mind if I steal Bakubro here for a minute?”
“Uh sure I was about to go shower anyway. I was just telling him how you, Kit, Todoroki, and Uraraka were going to go to the park together later, like we said earlier.”
“Oh yeah! It’s gonna be awesome, you sure you don’t want to come down with us?” Izuku was grateful that Kirishima knew to play along.
“Yeah I have another thing that I would like to do today, maybe I can meet you guys after?”
“Yeah yeah, what do you want shitty hair?”
“Oh! Right, come on let's go down to the common room.”
“Tch whatever, later nerd.”
“Bye Kacchan, bye Kirishima!”
The two walked away and Izuku let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. In order to prevent further setbacks Izuku walked quickly to the bathrooms and entered one of the stalls.
He moved quickly, anxious about how the rest of his morning would go. He finished and got dressed, stopping back in his room to put his stuff away, giving himself a once over in the mirror he decided that it wouldn’t get any easier with time so he may as well go quickly.
Izuku walked into the common room and saw it buzzing, class A had all been excited for their weekly trip. With a quick glance around he saw Kirishima sitting with Bakugou in the corner and Kit, Todoroki, and Uraraka on a comfy couch. He met Uraraka’s eyes and she gave him a quick nod while pointing at Kit then quickly looked over to the corner that held Bakugou and Kirisima. He nodded back then went to grab himself a bowl of rice.
He ate quickly and moved towards his group of friends situated on the couch. He sat quietly trying to wait for everyone to leave the common room.
“Deku! I’m so glad you are finally trying to make a move!” Uraraka couldn’t help but to get excited.
“Yeah maybe finally you two will stop being so stupid around each other.”
“Oh you’re one to talk Todoroki, I bet I could get you to blush right now without even mentioning you-know-who’s name.” Izuku did not want to deal with any teasing, if someone wanted to mess with him they better expect the same treatment.
True to Izuku’s words Todoroki had a light pink blush dusting across his cheeks, Izuku only smirked at the two-toned boy.
The group slowly became more comfortable  and more people started to leave the common room, eventually it was the four of them and the pair across the room in the corner. Kit looked at Izuku and nodded, it was go time.
“Uraraka, Todoroki?”
“Yes Katsuki-kun?”
“Would you wait for me outside? I won’t take long, then we can go to the park.”
As the two confirmed Izuku caught Kirishima’s eye, he brought Bakugou closer to the other pair. At this Izuku became nervous again.
“Izuku? Can I ask you a question?” Kit spoke clearly, commanding the attention from the room while maintaining eye contact with Izuku.
“Sure Kit ask away.” Izuku’s voice shook slightly, the only indication of his nerves.
“I have only known you for a short time, and we do not have much longer together, but you have made a lasting impression on me that I will no sooner forget than my own name. So I was wondering if you would like to accompany me on a date today.” Kit oozed confidence, a feeling Izuku couldn’t fathom at the moment.
“Wow, Kit I am very flattered but I don’t think it would be fair to you if I were to go out with you right now when I like someone else, I’m sorry.”
“There is no need to apologise Izuku, my only hope for you is that the special person that has caught your eye would appreciate you as much as I would.”
“Thank you Kit, that is very kind of you.” Izuku decided to cut himself off early, he didn’t want to say too much while everyone could hear him.
Across the room Kirishima spoke quietly.
“Huh, I thought Mido would say yes.” At his words Bakugou quickly turned towards him.
“Why would he do that?! They barely know each other!”
“Well he does seem like the type of guy he would go for. Don’t you think?”
“I don’t think about who that fucking nerd would date so I wouldn’t know.” At this Bakugou made a move to walk away but Kirishima grabbed his wrist.
“Why don’t you go talk to him? Look, doesn't he look like he could use a familiar face?”
“Tch why would I do that?”
“Well why wouldn’t you? You’re his friend.”
“So are you and I don’t see you jumping up to go talk to the nerd.”
“It's different and you know it. Plus fake you is the one who made him like that, you should at least try to fix it.”
Bakugou pulled away but instead of moving towards the door Kit just walked out of, he made his way towards Izuku.
“Hey nerd.”
“Hey Kacchan.”
“So what the hell just happened?”
There was a small click of the door shutting behind Kirishima.
“Well Kit just asked me out.”
“And..”
“And I said no.”
“Why? I thought you two seemed to be getting along pretty well.” There was an edge of bitterness to Bakugou’s voice.
“Well yeah but he doesn’t check all of my boxes for a boyfriend.”
“Which are…?”
Izuku paused for a moment.
“Well, he’s definitely attractive, he’s got a great body, those two are obvious.” Izuku paused, feeling himself turn very red. “But, there’s just something missing, his personality is slightly off and I really don’t know all that much about him, which I for sure need to if I’m going to get myself a boyfriend.”
Izuku wouldn’t meet Bakugou’s eyes, but at the moment, even if he could, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Bakugou was currently digesting the new information, his brain refusing to allow the obvious dots to connect to each other.
Izuku stood up and began to walk away when he felt a hand grab his. Before he could react he was spun around, directly into the arms of a flushed Bakugou.
With their hands still clasped Bakugou whispered.
“Tell me when to stop or if I got this all wrong.”
“If you are waiting for me to tell you to stop or to pull away, it's not going to happen.” With a newfound confidence Izuku was able to look Bakugou in the eyes as he spoke.
Without warning Bakugou’s other hand snaked around Izuku’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. The two stayed for a moment, breathing in each other’s air, appreciating the comfortable weight in their hand. Neither of them knew who moved first all they knew is that their lips met and they should have been doing that for a long time.
Izuku was the first to let go of Bakugou’s hand, letting both his hands find the soft spikes that he yearned to touch everytime Bakugou was near. Bakugou wasted no time and allowed his newly free hand to move up to cup Izuku’s jaw, a fit so perfect that it would be criminal to not take advantage.
Once they finally pulled apart they rested their foreheads against one another, still pressed tightly together.
“Why haven’t we been doing this again?”
“Apparently we needed a gigantic push, Kacchan.”
“Fair enough.”
Neither of them wanted to allow more time to pass, they reconnected their lips, slow and passionate, trying to push all of their feelings into this one action.
This time when they separated Izuku took a miniscule step back, still in Bakugou’s arms but far enough away for him to be able to see his entire face.
“If I stay that close to you I won’t stop.”
“And who said that's a bad thing? It sure as hell wasn’t me.”
“Definitely not bad, I can tell you that much. Just not the right time. We should be meeting our friends at the park.’
“Or… we could ditch those extras. Spend the day together.”
Izuku melted at the thought, he was sure that this would end badly and yet here he was.
“Like a date?”
“Exactly like a date. I have seen you spend way too much fucking time with someone who looks like me and now it's my turn.”
“Alright, what do you want to do?”
“I might have a few ideas. This is going to be the best damn date of your life nerd.”
Izuku couldn’t help it anymore, he closed the space between them and trapped Bakugou in another kiss, both of them could feel the other smiling.
As he pulled away Izuku saw a flush on Bakugou’s face that easily matched his own. The pair experienced immediate relief as they finally knew how the other felt.
“Let me get changed. What should I wear?”
“Just make sure you are comfortable, I don’t want to have to cut the date short or carry you back to the dorms.”
The two stood, waiting, neither wanting to break the moment. They shared the first of many small smiles.
“Alright nerd, hurry up we gotta get going, I’m going to date the fuck out of you.”
“Don’t you think you should take me to dinner first?” Izuku said with a wink. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Bakugou immediately blushed, caught off guard by Izuku’s newfound confidence.
“Whatever, just hurry.”
“Aww are you starting to blush?”
“No! I don’t fucking blush just hurry up!”
With a small smirk Izuku leaned forward and planted a small kiss on Bakugou’s cheek, reveling in the warmth of his skin.
“You seem a little warm, you should check if you have a fever, that is if you’re sure you aren’t just blushing.”
Not giving Bakugou any time to respond, Izuku moved out of his grip and made his way to his room. In his excitement he moved faster than normal, getting to his room in almost half the time.
Once there he quickly grabbed an outfit, one that he and Uraraka agreed would be perfect for an imaginary date if he were to ever go on one. Now he was happy for their late night antics, and happy that Uraraka convinced him that the single pair of black skinny jeans he owned belonged in his wardrobe. After he finished dressing, Izuku made his way back to the common room, surprised to see Bakugou doing the same.
“Good, you didn’t take forever. Let's get going, we have to catch a train.”
“Wait where are we going? You never said.”
Izuku grabbed onto Bakugou’s arm, momentarily making him stop.
“It’s a surprise, don’t worry you’ll love it,” Bakugou seemed to have regained his confidence in the time the two were separated.
“Alright… I trust you but you know I don’t like surprises.”
“Oh come on, you’ll like this one I promise.” Bakugou looked at Izuku with such confidence that he couldn’t help but relax. The softness in his eyes was one thing Izuku had never seen before, he was happy to be on the receiving end of it.
“Fine, only for you. Let’s go!” Izuku fully let his excitement take over as he stuck his arm through the loop Bakugou made with his elbow, he knew he would have fun.
The two walked together to the train station, keeping their arms interlocked.
“Are we going to a movie?”
“Nope, I do actually want to talk to you.”
“Ok, how about a fair?”
“There are no fairs nearby, but when there is we will definitely go. You know, it would be easier if you just stopped guessing and found out once we got there, I really don’t think you’re going to guess.”
“It’s more fun this way!” Izuku couldn’t help but light up everytime he remembered that he was actually on a date with Bakugou, and to think just that morning he was sure everything would go horribly.
“Oh whatever, have any more guesses?” Bakugou wouldn’t admit it, but he was happy to see Izuku so excited about their date.
“Yes! Are we going to the aquarium?”
“You’re getting slightly closer but no.”
“How about a ghost tour?”
“How is that anywhere near the aquarium?”
“I don’t know! How is anything like an aquarium?”
“Once you find out where we’re going you’ll understand, come on the next stop is ours.”
The pair let go of the pole they were holding onto and made their way towards the door, as the train came to a stop Izuku stumbled, crashing directly into Bakugou’s chest. In less than a second Bakugou’s arms were firmly around Izuku, keeping him upright.
“Woah, don’t fall over now, you’re not supposed to swoon until we’ve already been on the date.” The small smirk on Bakugou’s lips set off butterflies in Izuku’s stomach.
“W-well I didn’t mean to trip, the train just stopped and I lost my balance!”
The flustered look on Izuku’s face made Bakugou’s heart swell, another thing he wanted to see over and over again.
“You’re cute, you know that?”
“Wh-what Kacchan!” Still wrapped in Bakugou’s embrace Izuku brought his arms up to his face to hide his growing blush.
“Oh come on, I haven’t been able to say any of this until today, don’t try to tell me to stop now.” Bakugou slowly pulled Izuku’s arms down and pressed his lips to his cheek, pulling him closer in the process.
“Alright the doors opened, you can be embarrassed later.”
Bakugou gave Izuku a light push and moved him through the open doors. As they made their way out of the station Izuku continued guessing where they could possibly be going.
“Alright I have another guess.”
“Oh found your voice have you?” Bakugou was still reveling in Izuku’s previous embarrassment, enjoying every moment they were together.
“Oh shush, are we going to play mini golf?”
“Tch I would crush you in mini golf and I don’t want to give you any bad memories of this date, so no, we’re not going mini golfing.”
“Alright are we going roller skating?”
“The two of us and roller skates would not mix, we would leave soot marks and broken walls behind.”
“You’re probably right, ok how about the beach?”
“That would be better around sunset, it's too early.” Bakugou  continued to wonder how any of these guesses were anywhere near the aquarium.
Bakugou turned as he heard a dreamy sigh.
“Sunset on a beach with Kacchan sounds perfect.” He said it so quietly, Bakugou was sure he hadn’t meant to say it outloud.
As the words reached his ears Bakugou turned an alarming shade of red, without meaning to Izuku managed to make Bakugou feel like his insides were twisting, somehow in a good way.
“Tch damn nerd you can’t just say stuff like that.” Bakugou wouldn’t meet Izuku’s eyes even though there was confusion evident on his face.
“Wait! Did I say that out loud?” Izuku’s embarrassment grew, he had full faith that thought had stayed firmly in his mind until Bakugou accurately responded.
“Yes you did, whatever it was cute.” He still wouldn’t meet Izuku’s eyes, the obvious flush on his face was endearing to Izuku.
“Well, I meant it. Sunset on a beach with you, that would be amazing.” With this Izuku wrapped his arm around Bakugou’s and continued to walk forward.
The two stayed quiet for a moment, each for a different reason. Bakugou was trying to calm down his rapidly warming face while Izuku was content reveling in their comfortable silence.
“You know what, once we have a weekend off we can spend a day at the beach, I’m thinking we go for sunset and stay until sunrise.” With a sly wink and a kiss on the cheek Bakugou had finally fully regained his composure.
“S-sounds like a plan! I have one more guess, it seems like we’ll be there soon so I don’t have much more time anyway.”
“Alright let's see what you got.”
“Ok are we going to the botanical garden that's near here?” They rounded a corner heading in the opposite direction to the place Izuku was talking about.
“Nope but that’s close to what we’re doing after this.”
“We’re doing more than one thing?”
“Of course we are, what did you expect?”
“Well I knew you would have something great but we literally just decided to do this less than two hours ago I didn’t think you would have such a detailed plan!”
“You wanna know something, it took my fucking clone to come in and get all over you for me to realise that I have been planning this for a long time.”
Bakugou had stopped walking so he could talk to Izuku properly, he looked Izuku in the eyes trying, for a moment, to convey his emotions with a look.
Without hesitating Izuku moved forward and kissed Bakugou, it was the only thing he could think of that would stop the onset of tears. Bakugou’s hands moved up to cup Izuku’s face, his thumbs wiping away the few tears that managed to escape.
The two finally pulled apart for air, foreheads resting against each other, when Izuku started to speak.
“Kacchan, you wanna know something?”
“What?” The explosive blond moved further back so he could see Izuku’s face.
“Kit never actually had feelings for me.” A confused look crossed Bakugou’s features.
“What do you mean? The extra asked you out.”
“Well he told me he actually has feelings for the other version of me. That’s what he told me the first day he was here, when he pulled me into the corner. I didn’t want to say anything to you while we were cooking just in case it made you feel weird, that was the absolute last thing I wanted for the two of us.” Izuku moved slightly farther back, giving Bakugou space if he needed it.
“Then what the hell was his little show of putting his hands all over you?” Izuku was relieved to hear Bakugou’s voice stay calm, mainly curious.
“Well it was exactly that, a show. The thing he originally pulled me into the corner for was to ask me about my feelings for you, well it was actually a statement more than anything but that’s beside the point.” At this Bakugou became more confused, wondering how those two things would connect.
“Were you… trying to make me jealous?” A wide smile broke out over Bakugou’s face, he seemed to enjoy the idea of Izuku working so hard to get the two of them together.
“Maybe…? Yes, ok I admit most of the things that happened were at least a little planned.” Izuku looked sheepish, embarrassed to admit the lengths he went to.
“I would like to say that you didn’t have to go through all of that but hey it worked so who am I to say what you should’ve done. Come on, it's already 10:20 I don’t want to waste time. We’re almost there.”
Izuku was only a little surprised at how well Bakugou took the news, he had expected at least a little more shock.
“Will you finally tell me where we’re going?” Moving past the lack of shock, Izuku was now fully focused on the date ahead.
“Well if you would walk for a couple more minutes we will be there, let’s go already.” With that Bakugou grabbed Izuku’s hand and continued walking, with the sudden affection Izuku started to blush.
“The date hasn’t even officially started but this has already been one of the best days of my life.”
“Oh just wait until you see where we’re starting.” Bakugou took the compliment in stride, fully agreeing with Izuku’s statement.
The two walked for another two minutes when Bakugou stopped abruptly, lightly squeezing Izuku’s hand so he knew to stop.
“Alright nerd, we’re here.” Izuku turned to face the building Bakugou was looking at and immediately dropped his hand in a favour of a hug.
“How did you know?! I’ve been wanting to come here since it opened last summer, I just didn’t want to go alone!”
“Like I said I’ve been planning this for a while. And, for the record, I’ve been looking into coming here too, who wouldn’t want to come to the first hero art gallery in Japan?”
Neither made a move to answer the rhetorical question, choosing to instead look at the building in front of them that read ‘Through The Ages: A Hero’s Moment Remembered’
“Come on, let’s get in there already, I can practically feel you vibrating you damn nerd.”
The two separated from their hug and rejoined hands as they walked through the glass doorway, their immediate sight was one they wouldn’t soon forget.
As soon as they entered, the gallery held statues of some of history’s greatest heros, all in their prime and poised to take down the nearest villain. Spanning back just over a hundred years to the first sets of heroes and villains after quirks manifested.
Izuku had stopped walking and Bakugou only noticed when his hand nearly slipped out of Izuku's. When Bakugou looked back to check on him, he was met with a look of pure wonder, they had barely gotten past the doors and Izuku was already enchanted by the opening pieces of art. In that moment Bakugou felt like the luckiest person alive, all because he was able to witness the pure joy on Izuku’s face, he was nearly always happy but to see him so encompassed in positivity, it felt like a privilege.
“Hey, come on there’s a bunch of stuff for us to see.” It almost pained Bakugou to pull Izuku from his stupor, but they could only stand there for so long. When Izuku didn’t respond another small squeeze of his hand felt necessary.
Izuku finally looked at Bakugou again but before the blond could say another word Izuku threw himself forward and wrapped his arms tightly around his date. In a swift motion Bakugou steadied himself and returned the impromptu hug.
“Ok, I’m not complaining but if we keep standing around here hugging we’ll never get to the silver age All Might exhibit which is kind of the main reason I brought you here.”
Before he could even finish his sentence Izuku had stepped back and grabbed his shoulders, putting a deadly serious face on.
“WHY DIDN’T YOU LEAD WITH THAT!” Izuku promptly grabbed his hand and dragged Bakugou through the rest of the entrance and led him into the first hallway.
Izuku’s initial excitement never wore off, the pair went through room after room of incredibly detailed art, Bakugou was happy to lean back and listen to Izuku tell him every detail of any given hero’s career, even ones he knew about just as well. The ones he did know about allowed him to add in his own comments and clarify any conflicting facts, everytime he did Izuku became visibly more excited.
The two were nearing the All Might exhibit currently passing through a room dedicated to Nana Shimura, the pair were both entranced by the photo-like realism of most of the paintings of her, the art gallery went so far as to specify on the descriptions that they were paintings and not photos.
“Hey did I ever tell you about the seventh holder of… OFA?” Izuku dropped his voice slightly and leaned towards Bakugou, not wanting to be overheard.
“Pfft you dork, really ‘OFA’? I would have known what you were talking about. But to answer your question no you never did.”
Izuku reddened at the tease, grateful that Bakugou was here to talk to.
“Well, this is her. She chose All Might when he was, I think, 15? Kinda like he chose me I guess. Anyway she’s the one who said heroes should always smile in the face of danger, All Might really looked up to her.” Izuku spoke with a small smile, enjoying the memory of All Might telling him all about Nana Shimura.
Bakugou was sure that there was no way he could fall even more head over heels for Izuku but here he was, watching Izuku tell him about someone who, to most people, was just another great hero. It was something he would never admit, but the small smile that currently graced Izuku’s features was one of his favorites, it was the most genuine and the hardest to come by and should be appropriately cherished.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?” Izuku quickly went to clean off his face but Bakugou grabbed his hands in mid air.
“There’s nothing on your face nerd, just keep telling me about Nana Shimura. I was just paying attention to you as you were talking.” Bakugou had fought to keep a flush from appearing on his face, this was not the time to get flustered.
Izuku seemed satisfied with his answer and continued to talk, answering the questions Bakugou had about her and All Might, it wasn’t everyday you heard stories about your favourite hero as a teenager. Izuku also mentioned the love his own mother had for the female hero, wondering aloud if her and All Might ever accidentally crossed paths. Once there was a lull in the conversation about Nana Shimura, Bakugou had a thought come to him.
“One day I’m going to be able to tell these kinds of stories about you.” Bakugou said, while nudging Izuku’s side.
Izuku immediately turned bright red and smiled at Bakugou, who decided to elaborate slightly.
“Once we get out of U.A. and become the best pro hero duo to ever exist, people are going to ask us all kinds of crazy questions. I will sit there and tell them stuff like this, and none of them will even know what to do because they won’t be able to handle what a cute little shit you are.”
Izuku could do nothing but bury his face in Bakugou’s shoulder, turning red at the thought of the two of them together for the world to see.
“You get embarrassed so easily.” He poked Izuku’s side causing him to slightly squeal and jump away.
“Well what do you expect from me! You can’t say stuff like that and expect me to just brush it off! So yes I turn all red but you seem to like that so ha!” Although Izuku had pulled away and looked at Bakugou, his face was still bright taking the edge off of his teasing.
“You’re not wrong I can tell you that much.” Bakugou winked at Izuku, only causing him to turn more red,which neither thought was possible.
“Kacchaaaaan stop! If anymore blood goes to my face and ears I might pass out!”
“Oh don't be so damn dramatic you didn’t even pass out when you literally broke a majority of the bones in your body, a little blushing won’t do anything to you.”
Izuku pouted, leading Bakugou to start laughing.
“You’re too fucking cute to be doing shit like that.” Bakugou stared at Izuku’s protruding bottom lip for a moment.
He swiftly leaned in for a kiss, lightly biting down on Izuku’s bottom lip, the resulting gasp allowed him to deepen the kiss. Izuku melted into it, quickly forgetting his previous embarrassment in favour of focusing on the blond in front of him.
Once the two finally broke apart to breathe they quickly remembered that they weren’t alone. Izuku looked around and giggled as he leaned into the crook of Bakugou’s neck.
“You think anyone noticed?” He couldn’t stop more laughs from escaping his mouth.
“Given the fact that you look wrecked and I probably don’t look much better, I’d say so.”
At Bakugou’s words Izuku took in his appearance. He was right, the red lips and messy hair would definitely give them away to anyone who hadn’t witnessed their display first hand.
“Yeah I might be the only one who would appreciate the way you look right now.” He paired his remark with a wink, hoping he could affect Bakugou in the same way he had previously.
Izuku was happy to see that it worked, Bakugou flushed and quickly cleared his throat, looking down before he spoke again.
“Come on let’s keep going, there’s only a few more rooms and I think we’ve given these people enough of a show already.” Bakugou whispered, not wanting to draw any more attention to them than they already had.
Izuku simply nodded and took his hand, there was no need to say anything more as they both walked towards the next room.
They made their way in and started to make their way around the room with the same routine they had fallen into after the second room.
“Oh! We should take a picture together! I want to get a few selfies of us!” Bakugou looked at Izuku, who had already gotten his phone out of his pocket, and had an idea.
“Tch that's against the rules nerd.”
“No it isn’t, I checked!” Izuku shot him a confused look.
“Look it says it right here,” Bakugou pointed at a small sign near the doorway and read it out loud “Please do not photograph the art. You’re a masterpiece and the gallery strictly prohibits taking pictures of the art.” With a smirk and wink, Bakugou continued looking at the art as he had done before, not waiting for Izuku to stop blushing.
“Kacchan!”
“Yeah nerd?” Bakugou feigned nonchalance, determined to act as if he didn’t plan that line (and a few others) the entire time they were walking through the gallery.
“Y-you can’t just say something like that and walk away!” Izuku had finally moved to where Bakugou was.
“Something like what?” Bakugou met his eye with an eyebrow raise, hoping to get a rise out of his date.
“You know what I’m talking about!” Izuku responded with a small smack to Bakugou’s shoulder.
Bakugou simply wrapped an arm around Izuku’s waist and pulled him closer, electing not to respond and admit to how much thought he put in.
At the contact Izuku leaned in, also wrapping his arm around Bakugou’s waist, finding the familiar warmth relaxing.
“Fine, I’ll let you out of this one but don’t think you can get away with it again.” Izuku tried to look intimidating but, from the view Bakugou had, he only managed to look adorable.
Bakugou just smiled and gave Izuku a quick peck on the cheek, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
The pair, now looking sickeningly adorable wrapped in each other’s arms, finished going through the rooms featuring some lesser known heroes and prepared to go into the last two, both centered around All Might in various stages of his career.
Both of their excitements grew. They both knew the ins and outs of his entire career and were even lucky enough to hear about a lot of it first hand but they couldn’t help but feel their anticipation grow as they approached the entrance.
“Do you think they’ll have a rendition of his fight against Dr. Finch?”
“Nah even though it was epic, their fight isn’t famous enough. I’d say for sure they have One For All, that's pretty obvious, maybe that one guy moonfish, the one with the teeth blades, but that might be a little gross for the exhibit.”
“I think they might even have more of him looking heroic rather than actually in battle, maybe a few battle scenes but most people depict him posing.”
The pair stopped their guessing as they walked in. Their eyes were met with something they never would have guessed.
The art gallery had dedicated one whole room to statues of All Might, significantly smaller than those in the entrance hall but just as detailed. There were around a dozen of them positioned around the room in chronological order, the most recent one being a slightly inaccurate version of All Might beating the sludge villain in an alley.
“He didn’t actually hit it, it was a wind attack. Landing a hit would have meant he could’ve been trapped!” Izuku pointed out quietly. After he spoke, Izuku worried that talking about the sludge villain might hit a nerve.
“They must have thought a wind attack wouldn’t look as good as him just hitting it, or maybe we know more about heroics than they do.” Bakugou lightly nudged Izuku’s shoulder with a playful look on his face. Izuku’s worries were soothed as he saw the positive reaction from his date.
“I think you might just be right Kacchan, we probably know more about All Might and heroics than any gallery curator ever could.” They both continued looking around, stopping momentarily to inspect details. They soon finished their tour of the first half of the All Might exhibit and walked towards the second half.
As they approached the final room neither knew what to expect, they could only hope it had been worth the hours they spent touring the gallery.
As they entered they were met with a room akin to an All Might shrine, one that rivalled Izuku’s childhood bedroom. The walls were painted red, white, and yellow with details reminiscent of All Might’s Silver Age costume. There were commissioned art pieces strategically hung throughout, a small set of photographs displayed off to one side, a four piece sequence drawn out like a comic book scene depicting All Might’s grand move the ‘United States of Smash’, and a perspective art piece that showed All Might’s hero form from one angle and his true form from another.
Izuku was frozen, desperately trying to consume every work all at once, failing miserably. Bakugou was in a similar state, both were amazed with the lengths the art gallery went to.
“Wow Deku it almost looks like your bedroom when we were kids.” Bakugou had finally managed to break out of his stupor long enough to tease Izuku, who truly had it coming with the obsession he once had.
“Hey! I was bad but this is kind of excessive, they definitely could have made this into two separate rooms. Although they would have to consider either getting rid of a previous room, or extending the gallery altogether so I’m sure this was probably the best way to set everything up. But All Might is a beloved hero so many would be willing to go through room after room of art work centered around him. Then again they would have to rebrand as an All Might exhibit which could eventually become one of many seeing as he is the symbol of peace after all.” Izuku quickly cut himself off, he could have continued talking but he realised he had begun to ramble.
Bakugou simply allowed him to talk, listening intently and smiling at the amount of thought Izuku had already put in. Bakugou could hardly believe that, at one point in time, he thought Izuku’s rambling was annoying.
“Why’d you stop?” Shortly after Izuku cut himself off Bakugou shot him a confused look, not understanding why he stopped talking.
“Oh well I was rambling and most people tend to cut me off after about sentence three so I figured I should stop myself.” Izuku instinctively rubbed his neck and leaned away out of embarrassment.
“I didn’t tell you to stop, did I? Now, you were saying?” Bakugou directed Izuku’s hand back down and tugged him closer, putting them back in each other’s arms.
Izuku stared for a moment, no one had ever encouraged his tangents before, especially not Bakugou. It was almost surreal. After he regained his composure he continued, pointing out physical evidence to support his logic. Bakugou continued to listen and even gave his opinion on the matter, successfully motivating Izuku to keep talking.
Izuku couldn’t help but get excited, it wasn’t often he was able to continuously go on about his favorite things, more often than not being talked over or ignored. As their conversation came to a natural end and they stood in a comfortable silence Izuku took a moment to think about their date so far. He quickly realised that the entire date had perfectly catered to him, a hero art gallery where he was able to freely admire and talk about all of his favorite heroes was something he could only dream of. Yet here he was, in that exact situation with the one person that could make it perfect.
The pair made their way through the last room, spending extra time admiring the perspective piece hanging in the center of the room, whispering small inconsistencies to each other, from personal experience of both forms. The two made it to the exit and with a final look around, they left the art gallery.
“Thank you Kacchan, this was better than I could have ever imagined.”
If it had come from anyone else, Bakugou would have gagged at the sincerity in their voice, but for Izuku he would let it slide.
“Don’t thank me yet, remember there’s more than one part to this.” Bakugou was quick to remind Izuku of his earlier promise.
Once they had made it outside, they both finally realised how long they had actually spent inside the Hero Art Gallery, it was already time for lunch.
“Oh my gosh Kacchan! It’s already 12:30, I want to make sure we get back before everyone else coming from the park!”
“Don’t worry Deku, they usually waste their entire day there, we still got a good few hours before they even think about heading to the dorms.” Bakugou was right, the heroes in training did tend to spend quite a while out of the dorms when they were allowed to (and even when they weren’t, in many cases.)
Izuku visibly calmed, allowing himself to enjoy his date rather than worry about making it back in time to see Kit off, he was sure they wouldn’t be gone that long.
“Ok, yeah you’re right. So what is it you have planned?”
“Nerd, we’ve been over this, I’m always right. As for what I have planned, that is for me to know and you to love.” Bakugou turned, grabbed Izuku’s hand, and walked forward.
The pair were now heading back the way they came, Izuku red from the small show of affection. Neither felt the need to break the serene silence, they were both content in each other’s presence.
After a few minutes Bakugou guided them into a turn that took them off of their original path, apparently towards the next thing he had planned.
“Alright nerd, we’re almost there, want to try anymore guesses?”
“Nope! I have decided whatever your idea is, I probably won’t be able to guess it!”
Bakugou smiled at the smug look on Izuku’s face, he was proud of his deduction.
“Oh getting smarter by the minute I see, I guess that means we’ll have to go on dates more often, maybe then you could take over the tutoring sessions the sea of idiots put me up to every week.”
“Oh Kacchan, no need to pretend, I know they’re your friends and you would do just about anything for them. Even if you do threaten them all with murder at least once a week.” Izuku leaned into Bakugou, wrapping his free arm on the muscular bicep just under his chin.
Bakugou put a lot of effort into not throwing his adorable date over his shoulder and taking him back to his dorm so they could be alone, he settled for resting his head on the mop of curls that came up to his ear. The resulting blush on Izuku’s face made up for the fact that they weren’t alone.
“Fine whatever. They’re my annoying friends who don’t know when to quit, happy?”
“Ecstatic!” Izuku managed to make a normally sarcastic jab sound frighteningly genuine, it left Bakugou amazed.
The pair continued walking, admittedly awkwardly with their new positions, soon making it to the entrance of a park. Once they arrived Bakugou straightened himself, stretching his neck slightly to make up for the discomfort, and stopped walking.
“Alright, we're here for part two of the greatest fucking date ever.”
“A park? Have we ever been here before?” Izuku was slightly confused, he had no memories of them in parks aside from the one near their neighborhood when they were younger.
“We haven’t but the park is only the beginning.” Without another word Bakugou walked onto the path, tugging Izuku’s hand along the way.
Bakugou seemed to know exactly where they were going so Izuku let him lead the way, hoping for some of his confusion to clear up. As the pair walked , hand in hand, they made idle conversation mostly about the art gallery they had just left.
After a few minutes of walking they stopped in front of a small booth, Bakugou fully faced Izuku now that they were still.
“Want some ice cream?” Bakugou accompanied his words with a slight nod towards the booth they were standing near.
Izuku’s excitement was visible, he quickly nodded his head with a bright smile on his face.
Bakugou shook his head fondly at his date’s animated response and brought him closer to the counter. Once they reached it, Izuku looked at all the choices listed on a board to their right. Izuku was about to tell Bakugou what he planned on getting before he was quickly cut off.
“Wait, I bet I could guess ‘cause you’re predictable like that.” Confidence flashed through Bakugou’s eyes and Izuku was never one to turn down any kind of competition.
“Fine BUT if you’re wrong you’re buying the ice cream.”
“Tch I’m buying either way.”  Izuku was about to respond but Bakugou continued before he could. “Anyway! I bet you’re going to get a waffle cone... with vanilla ice cream on the bottom and then... a scoop of ube ice cream on top.” As Bakugou finished he raised an eyebrow at Izuku.
“What! How did you know that?!”
“I told you, you’re predictable.”
“I’ve literally never eaten ube ice cream before!”
“Exactly, it's the only one you haven't tried, so you would want to try it but you get vanilla on the bottom just in case you don't really like the ube so you can still eat your cone with a flavour you know you like.” Bakugou spoke almost absentmindedly, as if it was the easiest conclusion to come to.
“How did you know I would get vanilla? I like a bunch of ice cream flavours!”
Bakugou spoke with an eye roll. “Obviously because you don’t know what would go good with the ube so you’d choose vanilla, the one that goes with everything.”
“Ok how did you know about the waffle cone?!”
“Anyone with even an ounce of good taste would choose a waffle cone and I know you have good taste ‘cause you’re on a date with me.” He paired his final deduction with a wink that made Izuku go red in the face.
“Well I know you’re getting one scoop of the honey wasabi in a waffle cone!”
“Well obviously, I never said I wasn’t predictable, I only said that you definitely were.” Bakugou’s nonchalance did nothing to ease Izuku’s blush.
The man behind the counter had witnessed the entire conversation and finally cleared his throat.
“So that was a waffle cone with vanilla and a scoop of ube and then a waffle cone with one scoop of the honey wasabi?”
Izuku looked mortified, he didn’t know that anyone was watching them, he could only let out a small embarrassed squeak. Luckily, Bakugou was much more composed and he was able to confirm their order.
As soon as he finished Bakugou looked at Izuku with his face in his hands, trying to cool off.
“Get the fuck over here you damn nerd.” Bakugou opened up his arms for Izuku, motioning for him to come closer. Izuku immediately moved forward and buried his face in Bakugou’s firm shoulder.
“Why didn’t you tell me someone was watching us! That’s so embarrassing!”
“Tch we’re fucking adorable and I don’t care who sees us so I didn’t think you would either.” Bakugou was mainly picking fun, knowing that is not how Izuku meant it, but he enjoyed getting the green haired cutie riled up.
Izuku pulled back slightly to look Bakugou in the face.
“Wait! No! That’s not what I meant! Sure let them look when we’re being cute but come on! I am almost positive that for the duration of that interaction I was completely red! Not fair that you get to look hot while I look like a hot mess!” After fully realising what he said Izuku turned red once again this time, though, he wasn’t the only one.
“Wh-whatever nerd, you never look like a mess and its fucking unfair.” Bakugou turned away, not meeting Izuku’s eyes. The two stood there not making eye contact until the man behind the counter cleared his throat once again. The two quickly corrected themselves and made their way towards the counter.
“Uh, the two cones will be ¥1000.” The both made to get out their wallets but Bakugou was quicker, going at a pace he maintained was natural, but seemed rushed.
The exchange was made and the pair continued on their way. The ice cream captured most of Izuku’s attention, but Bakugou was happy to revel in his happiness.
They walked for a short while, to the soundtrack of Japanese nature, small animals and leaves rustling in the wind creating a nice atmosphere. Eventually Bakugou led them to a small bench where they could enjoy their cold treats. Once they finished they stood and continued walking.
“Alright nerd get ready for the real reason I brought you to this park.” Bakugou had finally spoken up as they rounded a corner, bringing them to a sidewalk lined with beautiful trees.
Izuku gasped, “You remembered?” He met Bakugou’s eyes, his own filling with tears.
“It's not hard to remember your favorite flowers are cherry blossoms and ume flowers, it’s no big deal.” Bakugou looked away and rubbed his neck, he didn’t realise just how much Izuku would like his surprise.
“It is to me, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me!”
“Well, I remembered that I read somewhere that this is one of the only places that plants them close to each other and I guess it stuck.” Bakugou was selling himself short; he had done research one night after the art gallery opened, trying to see what was close by.
Izuku threw himself into Bakugou again, they both relished in the already comfortable position, they enjoyed each other’s presence for a while before letting go.
“Alright let's go, there are ten cherry blossom trees and ten plum blossoms on either side of us and I have to find a nice flower to put in your hair.” Bakugou spoke matter of factly as if it was a given that Izuku needed to have a flower put in his hair.
Bakugou grabbed Izuku’s hand and led him forward, stopping in the center of the stretch, asking Izuku to wait there. Bakugou jogged towards the nearest cherry blossom and rattled it, causing the fully bloomed flowers to fall. He quickly made his way back to his date and pulled him for a searing kiss.
It was nearly cinematic, the flowers were falling artfully around and on them as the wind blew, they were alone in their own little world, if anyone were to walk by it would be as if they never even existed. The pair pressed impossibly closer to each other, savouring the feeling of right.
Once they finally pulled apart to breathe, both had flowers stuck to them, Bakugou saw Izuku covered in flowers and couldn’t help but snap a picture, he moved so quickly that Izuku hardly had time to react, in an instant Bakugou had his new phone background.
Izuku had his own idea, he started pulling the flowers off of their clothes and stuck them between his phone case, he wanted to make a book that had the ticket stubs from the art gallery, the wrapper from their ice cream cones, and now a few pressed flowers. That was just the beginning, he wanted to commemorate every big thing they did together, whether it was a date or a battle, he didn’t care.
Bakugou looked at him with curiosity, wondering what he could be doing but Izuku spoke up before he could ask.
“I’m saving them, it was really sweet and I want to remember what you did for me.”
“Ugh we’re going to be that couple aren’t we? You know what, I don’t even care. We’re gonna be gross and everyone is going to fucking deal with it.” Bakugou promptly pulled Izuku into a hug, the movement ridding them of the rest of the flowers.
The pair stood there for a moment, revelling in the comfort they had come to feel with the other over the years.
“Alright let’s get the fuck out of here before stupid music starts to play.” Bakugou finally let go and turned towards the way they came.
Izuku debated for a moment on whether or not  he should grab Bakugou’s hand, eventually choosing not to.  
“Tch, don’t be indecisive.” Bakugou grumbled as he grabbed Izuku’s hand.
Izuku blushed once again, he would have to get used to the casually aggressive displays of affection.
The pair walked back towards the train station hand in hand, both happier than ever.
“We should stop by the park and see everyone else for a while!”
“Of course you’d want to see everyone you nerd.” To an untrained ear Bakugou may have sounded exasperated but Izuku knew that Bakugou was just as happy to see his friends as he was.
The pair quieted down as they entered the train station, not wanting to cause a delay in traffic due to being distracted. They made their way onto the appropriate train hand in hand, happily enjoying the other’s presence. Once they were finally able to board their train, they both relaxed.
“Kacchan?”
“Yeah Nerd?
“Thank you. Today has been amazing.” At the look of genuine joy on Izuku’s face Bakugou couldn’t seem to think of a snappy remark.
“Tch no need to thank me Nerd. Like I said I’ve been planning this for a lot longer than I realised.”
Izuku couldn’t help the fond look on his face as he turned towards Bakugou, it really had been a long time coming for the pair.
“Ugh wipe that look off your face before people see you.” Bakugou halfheartedly grumbled, though he could feel himself smiling despite it.
“By people do you mean the one old lady on the other side of the car? I don’t even think she’s awake.” Izuku retorted, hoping to fluster his date.
“Tch I hate how much I like your sass. It's getting really annoying that I don't even want to stop you.” Bakugou rolled his eyes to punctuate his indignation but still threw his arm over Izuku’s shoulder and pulled him closer.
Izuku settled in, already getting more used to casual affection, even if it still made him blush like crazy.
The pair spent the rest of the short train ride in a comfortable silence, only breaking it to point out a particularly gorgeous set of scenery.
Once they finally made it to their stop and were out of the train station Izuku started a conversation.
“Hey Kacchan?”
He simply responded with a questioning ‘Hmm?’
“Do you think this would have happened if Kit wasn’t here?”
“Eventually, but it would've taken for-fucking-ever cause apparently we both had some hang ups.” Izuku was startled by the nearly immediate response and the open honesty.
“Oh don’t look so surprised we haven't been able to get rid of each other in seventeen years, there is obviously a reason for that. I think if anything it probably would’ve been around graduation.”
“Why graduation?” Izuku couldn’t help but want to know the reasoning.
“Well after graduation we wouldn’t have any reason to see each other everyday and one of us would have stopped that quick. Think about it, the longest we have gone without seeing each other is maybe a few weeks, if that.”
“Huh, I guess you’re right.”
“We’ve been over this, I’m always right.” Izuku shot Bakugou an amused look, secretly loving his confidence.
The two both stopped to think for a moment, both contemplating what it would be like to have this happen after graduation, Bakugou spoke up once again.
“Either way I’m glad we’re doing this now.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well the earlier the better, it means I can do this longer.” With his words Bakugou swiftly turned and pulled Izuku close, bringing him in for a kiss.
Once they pulled apart Izuku had an even blush across his features, making his freckles pop out more than usual. They both simply smiled, although Izuku did seem a bit shy, he was still getting used to the extra attention and affection.
“Fuck! Deku you’re making me cheesy, I would have never said anything like that if it wasn’t for you.” Even if Bakugou sounded slightly annoyed he was very pleased at his ability to voice his feelings and not have them invalidated.
Izuku smiled brightly, he was always happy to hear Bakugou be ‘cheesy’ he would never get tired of it. Even though it had only been a few hours he knew he was in this for the long haul and there was nothing that would change that.
“What if I like your cheesiness? Huh what about that?”
“Ugh fine whatever but don’t expect it all the time.”
“Just often enough that I don't forget you have that side!”
Bakugou rolled his eyes in response but he knew if the nerd looked at him with that small, sweet smile he would no doubt say something corny that he wouldn’t want anyone else to hear.
The two were nearing the park where the rest of their class had gone hours ago, joking back and forth. Izuku was trying to contain his laughter as they finally made it to their classmates, the first to notice them was Kit.
“Izuku!” Kit called out, garnering more attention to the pair.
“Hey Kit!” Izuku answered, bringing Bakugou closer.
“I assume everything went well? You guys have been gone for quite a while.”
Bakugou decided to make a point by wrapping an arm around Izuku’s waist and pulling him in closer.
“Uh yeah I’d say it went pretty well.” Izuku said after he composed himself.
Everyone else finally started to notice the new pair and the way they were standing, a bunch of their friends came around to congratulate them.
“Way to go Bakubro! I knew you could do it!” Kirishima was the first to make it over.
“Oh my gosh finally! I’m so happy for you guys! Mina! Come over here and see!” Uraraka had no issues showing all of her enthusiasm.
The rest of the class shared similar sentiment, giving their congratulations and well wishes. Finally Uraraka spoke up once again.
“Wow I am so glad I won’t have to hear Deku go on about Bakugou anymore! I swear if I heard one more thing about your hair, eyes, or abs I might have floated Deku into the sun!”
“Uraraka! Shhh!” Izuku was severely embarrassed, obviously hoping to keep that little detail a secret.
“Don’t shush me! Don’t make me mention the notebook!”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Try me!”
“Deku what the fuck is she talking about? A notebook?” Bakugou’s curiosity seemed to pique at his date’s embarrassment.
“NOTHING!” Izuku quickly retorted.
“Pink cheeks what the fuck were you talking about?” Bakugou made up his mind, he wanted to know about the notebook.
Uraraka completely ignored Izuku’s waving hands and told Bakugou what she meant.
“Oh, it’s just a notebook Midoriya uses almost like a diary, but I’m pretty sure it's mostly about you!” She gave her friend an innocent smile that he met with a look of betrayal.
“Deku is she serious?”
“Um, yeah? Maybe?”
“Oh where’d all your sass go now?” Bakugou had the audacity to wink at Izuku as he spoke, enjoying the flustered look Izuku wore.
“Oh my gosh! Look at how soft Bakubro looks! I have never seen him make that kind of face!” Mina was brave enough to point out the fond look on Bakugou’s face while there was still a small group gathered. At her remarks Bakugou blushed minutely and plastered on a look of annoyance that didn’t have to be faked.
“Tch shut up Pinky no one asked you. Plus I want to hear more about Deku’s notebook.”
“It’s in the bottom drawer of his nightstand underneath a sweatshirt!”
“Hey thanks round face.” Bakugou quickly turned and made to walk away.
Izuku gasped and grabbed Bakugou’s arm hoping to stop him but he wasn’t quick enough, Bakugou was now making his way back to the dorms, presumably to find the notebook.
The two made it to the dorms quickly, Izuku never quite caught up all the way though, meaning Bakugou was in his room first. Once Izuku entered he saw Bakugou sitting on his bed holding the notebook, notably still closed.
“Oi, if you really don’t want me to read it I won’t, even if I seriously want to.”
“No it’s fine, just a little embarrassing.” Izuku started to blush as he looked away.
Bakugou waited a few moments in case Izuku wanted to change his mind but when he heard no objections he started to leaf through the notebook. At first all he saw were sketches of eyes mostly, with the occasional design. Once he looked closer he could see small specks of red, not enough to color it in but enough for him to tell that it was a rendition of his eyes.
Some of the designs looked like more developed versions of his hero costume, something he would have to look closer at on another day.
As he continued to flip through he finally found pages with words on them, he went back to the first one and read it. It was a list of songs, which seemed kind of random given what Uraraka said about the notebook, that was until he read through all of the titles:
I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)
Love Like You [End Credits]
Still Into You
Here Comes A Thought
I Would
A Teenager In Love
The Things We Used To Share
Sad Song
Say You Won’t Let Go
He realised they were all love songs, Bakugou finally thought to look at the top of the page to see if there was a title, he read ‘An Always Kind Of Thing’ and recognised it. He remembered seeing Izuku’s phone put it on shuffle all the time. He looked up and saw Izuku sitting in the chair across from him.
“I knew you’d start at the beginning.” Izuku passed his phone to Bakugou, already open to the playlist in question. Bakugou immediately noticed it was much longer than what was written, but before he could even ask why, Izuku beat him to it.
“I’ve added onto it quite a bit, it’s got all kinds of music in there now but there is something they all have in common. They make me think of you, not that it’s all that hard to do that but still.”
“Mine don’t have names or whatever but for me it's ‘1’ here look.” Bakugou pulled his phone out as well, before he was able to open up the music app, Izuku noticed the picture of him set as the background and smiled. Bakugou was finally able to show Izuku a similar looking playlist in his ‘Recently Played’ section. They shared a small smile and Bakugou continued looking through the notebook.
The next notable thing he saw was a dated page that had only the words ‘Not enough’ written on the first line and what looked like tear stains going down the page. He wondered what that could possibly have to do with him until he reread the date. It was the day he was taken from the training camp. The day Izuku felt like he failed in saving him.
With no preamble and to Izuku’s surprise, Bakugou stood up and held onto Izuku tightly, he didn’t feel the need to say anything but he wanted to hold onto him just for a moment.
“Oh, you saw that.” Izuku simply held on tighter, it felt like it happened so long ago but even just thinking about it could bring down a mood. The only positive thing that Izuku can think of is that, after that incident was the first real time they had acknowledged and worked through some of their issues.
They fought but they also talked, the three days they spent under house arrest together did wonders for them but it was the most difficult thing they had ever been through.
“You should keep going, it gets better. And by better I mean more embarrassing for me.”
Bakugou finally stepped back and grabbed the notebook once again, he slowly looked through more pages until he found a full page written on all in the same day. It read as follows
‘Uraraka told me that she thinks I’m only physically attracted to Kacchan, here’s how I know that’s not all it is:
1. He inspires me in a way no one else can, his drive forces me to push myself further.
2. His confidence. Nothing stands in his way.
3. The way I start acting like him during battles where my focus is winning. Normally I focus on trying to be like All Might but when I don’t think about it I act like him, it’s because when I picture a hero that’s who I see.
4. His honesty, he doesn’t need to sugar coat things or make something unnecessarily complicated. This means I know I can trust whatever he says without wondering if he’s trying to spare stupid feelings or make something sound better than it is.
5. His natural leadership, he doesn’t even do it on purpose but people flock to him because he gives off an air of competence that is intoxicating.
6. His sheer talent. He has spent his entire life making himself the best that he could be and has gone above and beyond, he can back up any claim he makes without hesitation.
7. And you know what? His abs and perfect jawline DO NOT HURT URARAKA
Deku you are SUCH a simp oh my god- Uraraka’
Bakugou stared wide eyed at the page in front of him, he never would have expected all of those things from Izuku. He was used to the standard of ‘Kacchan is amazing’ but seeing it all broken down and specific made it impossible to think straight (ha).
Soon his shock turned into a pleased happiness, he looked down at the page with a soft smile and strange look on his face, one that made Izuku panic slightly.
“Oh gosh what are you looking at now? Why are you smiling, should I be worried?” Izuku knew what kinds of things were in that notebook, he just wasn’t sure what could have possibly made Bakugou smile softly but not say anything.
“I don’t know Deku, is there something in here you’re worried about me seeing?”
“Yeah actually a few things so could you give me a little hint here?” Izuku wasn’t going to make him stop looking, he knew no matter what Bakugou saw nothing would change, even if he was too embarrassed to show his face for a few days.
“Well on this particular page Pink Cheeks called you a simp, does that help?”
“Not really no, since she learned how to use it she’s called me a simp on about every other page. And to my face. Multiple times.” Izuku let out a small laugh, at least she wasn’t too hard on him.
“Fine here, this is what I’ve been looking at.” Bakugou spun the notebook around to give Izuku a good view of the page he was reading.
“Honestly I think the only one that should be news to you is number seven, and maybe not even that one because apparently I don’t know how to keep my voice down. I’ve had people from the support course agree with me while I was talking. Not to mention the fact that Uraraka is tired of me talking about you.”
“Deku you have never said any of this to me.” Bakugou shot Izuku an unimpressed look, obviously making a point.
“That’s not true! I compliment you all the time!”
“Saying that I’m amazing is so not the same as telling me that you admire my natural leadership or what the fuck ever!”
“I have told you, to your face, that I compare you to All Might, except you were actually in my life! What more do you want me to say!”
“That doesn’t count!”
“Why not?!”
“Cause we were in the middle of fighting! Doesn’t count.” Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest and seemed resolute.
“Fine, do you want me to start saying all of this to your face, cause I will! Don’t test me!” Izuku pointed his finger in an attempt to look menacing, but given the topic of conversation Bakugou only thought he looked adorable.
Bakugou thought for a moment, would he really want to hear everything Deku thought of him? If it was all along the same lines as this page he might not be able to handle hearing it all out loud. Maybe only in private.
Apparently Izuku had made a decision before Bakugou did. He was standing up and making his way towards Bakugou on a mission.
Izuku took a seat next to him on the bed and leaned in close, putting his lips near Bakugou’s ear.
“No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, I can’t take my eyes off of you.” He whispered.
Bakugou was quickly turning red, definitely only in private. He turned to face Izuku and without hesitation trapped him in a heated kiss.
Izuku eagerly responded, reveling in the already familiar sensation.
Izuku was soon pulling Bakugou backwards onto the bed, the notebook disregarded next to them. Before they could go much further they were interrupted by Kirishima whipping the door open.
“BROS! We’re baaa- oh sorry!” He swiftly turned and exited but it was too late, they two were embarrassed to say the least and decided to just go out to see their friends.
“Fucking shitty hair! I might just kill him this time.” Izuku couldn’t help but laugh, he knew how much Bakugou appreciated Kirishima.
“Oh yeah right Kacchan, you wouldn’t lay a finger on him unless you knew he was ready to fight.” Bakugou rolled his eyes at Izuku, only because he knew he was right and had no other way to respond.
“Come on, let's go before someone else comes in or Kirishima starts talking.” Izuku made his way out from underneath Bakugou and stood up, grabbing the notebook in the process.
Bakugou followed suit and watched as Izuku put the notebook behind a stack of books on his bookshelf, when Izuku saw the questioning look he quickly explained.
“I really do not need anyone else knowing where that notebook is and Uraraka apparently doesn’t know how to use her inside voice when she has the possibility of embarrassing me.”
“Oh you don’t want to hide it from me?”
“No, I mean it’s basically all about you and now that you’re my boyfriend you’ll experience it all first hand anyways, so no reason to even try to hide it from you. And even if I did try to hide it, I don’t doubt that you know me well enough to find it.”
Bakugou had started sporting a goofy grin as soon as the word ‘boyfriend’ left Izuku’s mouth.
“Oh so I’m your boyfriend now huh? I don’t remember agreeing to that one.” He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
“Oh yeah I should've mentioned that. You're stuck with me now, sorry!” Izuku did not sound sorry at all, he didn’t even look it as he approached Bakugou. He patted his solid chest with both hands and spoke again.
“It was in the terms and conditions the first time we kissed, even though no one actually reads it.” He paired his quip with a wink that caused Bakugou to flush slightly.
“Ah well I guess I can’t break a binding contract. Looks like I get to be your super fucking awesome boyfriend, Deku.”
“How tragic.” Izuku quickly kissed his newly official boyfriend before he could respond.
Once the two separated they finally made their way to the common room, they came in to see their entire class standing together having a conversation.
“Oi shitty hair! Learn how to fucking knock or next time I’ll rip your god damn hands off!” Bakugou quickly caused all of the room to look at him, not a surprise.
“Oh, so there will be a next time huh?” By this point, no one was too phased by Bakugou’s screaming threats, it was when he got serious that made everyone worry.
“Oh shut the hell up!”
“Wait what do you mean next time? Deku what are they talking about?” Uraraka became quickly disinterested in the previous class wide conversation as she turned her attention to Izuku.
“N-nothing!”
“I walked in on them kissing all gross and stuff!” Kirishima quickly snuffed out  all of Izuku’s protests with his naturally loud voice. As everyone turned to look at the couple in question, Bakugou looked smug while Izuku seemed slightly embarrassed at the brash wording no doubt.
For a moment no one said a word, that was until Mina spoke up.
“All I wanna know is who started it?”
The couple looked at each other for a moment, neither of them could be too sure, they both faced the rest of the class and shrugged.
“I’m thinking, probably Kacchan this time.”
“Ok ok, we get it you guys are cute and obsessed with each other, gosh I thought once you were together I would never have to see Deku’s love sick face again, apparently I was wrong.” Uraraka sounded fed up but relieved at the same time, she was happy for her friends.
The rest of the class laughed and slowly separated into more reasonable sized groups, but they weren’t together long. Soon Mr. Aizawa walked in and called for everyone’s attention.
“Listen up. Recovery Girl is doing one last check up on the third year, once she is finished she is going to send him over here and he will reactivate his quirk and send the second Bakugou home, that is all.” With his words Aizawa left the room to go meet with Recovery Girl before she finished up.
The whole class had congregated around Kit, making their way to say goodbye, after making his way around the semicircle he finally came to Bakugou.
“Bakugou, I’m happy for you and Izuku, I know everything will turn out great for you two.”
“Uh yeah, I guess I should say thanks or whatever, you helped me get my head out of my ass and man the fuck up. Deku told me about you and the other him so, my advice? Go for it, he’s worth it.” Bakugou turned to look at Izuku, he truly meant what he said.
“Thank you, I can only hope for the best.” With his words Kit made his way to Izuku, the final person he had to say goodbye to.
“Hey Kit! It was nice to get to know you the past few days, and I owe you a lot for what you did for me and Kacchan.”
“I’m just glad to see you happy, at least you two worked out.”
“Hey Kit? Can I give you some advice for when you get back?” Kit nodded. “Go after him. Tell him how sorry you are and that you’ll find a way to make it up to him. If he's anything like me he will forgive you. You should tell him what you told me the first day you were here and you pulled me aside. You said you feel the same way I do about Kacchan, that won’t just go away.” Kit didn’t know if it was the sincerity in his voice or the fact that Izuku shared a face with the person he loved, but Kit felt the need to listen to him. He was going to take that advice and use it, and if things didn’t end up the way he wanted them to, he would have to learn to be ok with it.
“Thank you Izuku, I’m going to try my best and trust that the best will happen for the two of us.”
Kit and Izuku shared a quick hug, their days spent together had helped each other tremendously, in ways that the other would never know.
Moments after they separated Mr. Aizawa, Recovery Girl, and the third year walked in.
“It’s time, he passed his health check and is cleared to use his quirk, Bakugou are you ready?”
Kit nodded swiftly, as much as he was grateful for the people around him, he much preferred those he knew back in his own reality. He made his way towards the teacher, glancing back momentarily to see Izuku and Bakugou wrapped in each other’s arms.
Without any further warning, Kit felt a strong pull towards the wall, before he knew it he felt as if he was falling, only to be quickly righted, back in his camp.
His last thought before he landed was that he was glad to see one version of himself find love with Izuku, even if he hadn’t earned his yet.
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phoebehalliwell · 5 years ago
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Hi! I’ve recently fallen down the Charmed rabbit hole again and I fount your blog, which is amazing btw !! I LOVE YOUR CHARMED NEXT GEN FIC!!!! I also really enjoyed your thoughts about Phoebe's kid! I wish they would have lived in the actual show. How do you think Phoebe’s child living would have impacted her relationship with Coop? And the whole twice blessed prophecy?
!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!! and i’m so glad you like my fic (which i promise i am still working on)!!
as far as phoebe’s kid + the twice blessed prophecy, i have written on that au here, but i think if the baby really had been born it would not be the twice blessed but i do think they would still probably give that plotline to wyatt just bc. i also think that having a child and being a single mother would really further the need for coop bc dating as a single mom while still having a career is hard enough but dating while you’re a single mom with a full time job and a magical half demon baby who was lowkey the antichrist for the better part of the first trimester is a whole new can of worms. i think she still would have had a relationship with jason dean but i think it would be very short lived as i don’t think that he would be ready to commit to a family. and then by the time we hit season six and piper and leo have broken up and jason has left phoebe and yada yada yada phoebe would really be like huh. love isn’t real. we’re all gonna die alone.
and so she’s sitting at a cafe with paige at the end of love’s a witch and is completely ranting about how love is dead or whatever and paige is just like yeah. uh huh. yep. totally. yeah. yeah. i know what you mean. yeah. uh huh. bc it’s totally Not the time to bring up the fact that she has a date with richard on friday and phoebe’s just going on and on like “okay bc look at olivia! she was doing what she was doing out of love!! and she was killing people!!! just an evil, sad, lovesick, ghost. like me. you know cole was my longest relationship? that was like,,, the most successful relationship i had, and it wasn’t even remotely a success!! he turned me evil, paige. i became evil. because that’s what love does. it bring out the worst in people.” and paige is sitting there like jfc i think i need to bring in a shrink or something when all of a sudden the dude pulls up a chair at their table and is like “hi hate to interrupt but i couldn’t help but overhear and you’re wrong” and phoebe’s like who the hell are you and paige is like yeah fuck off buddy private conversation here and this guy’s like “look. love is the strongest magic we have” and paige is like “ehh i think other, stronger magic” and phoebe’s all like “okay, i don’t know who you are, but you don’t know me and you don’t know what i’ve been through okay so you don’t get to sit down here and try to talk to me about love. bitch.” and this guys just like “actually, i do. my name’s coop. it’s nice to meet you, officially.” and he holds out his hand for a handshake and phoebe’s looking at him like imma judo flip u motherfucker but then something catches her eye and she snatches his hand and flips it over, staring at his cupid ring and she’s like no. she grabs her coffee and storms out leaving coop and a Very Confused paige sitting at the cafe table. she turns around at the exit and gestures to paige like come on let’s go get out of here so paige grabs her croissant and purse awkwardly and leaves and coop’s like “i hope everything goes well with richard!” and paige is like????? so she pulls phoebe aside like Who Was That and phoebe’s like “that was the most annoying, pesky, interfering magical creature there is out there. that was a cupid.”
and later that night phoebe would be tucking her child asleep (who in this story is a little girl named prudence) when she hears “you love her, and it doesn’t seem to bring out the worst in you.” and she whips around to find coop leaning in the doorframe and she’s like “you better leave before i vanquish you” and coop sorta just laughs softly and he’s like “i get it. you’ve been burned before. but actively fighting love? it’s not you, phoebe.” and she’s like “tf do you think you know about me” and coop’s like “i know you believe in love. true love. the kind that takes your breath away, where it's the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning. you wanna know how i know that?” and phoebe just glares at him in a very defensive stance like yes i want to know but no i will not play into your stupid little monologue and coop’s like “i read your column. not many people could write like that. you help people find love every day, you help them reach out, take risks, open up their hearts-” “okay you know what i’ve had enough of your little sugar coated soap opera speech. go bug someone else.” and phoebe pushes her way past him and beelines for her bedroom, slamming the door and coop’s like :|
and the next morning phoebe’s eating cereal and by eating a i do mean just pushing wheaties around in a pool of milk while dency and wyatt play in the playpen and piper comes in with a mug of coffee like “good morning how are-” “am i a cold hearted cynic?” “...you doing this fine friday morning??” “i’ve got a cupid on my ass” “i’m going to hope you mean the magical kind and not some bad tattoo situation” “i mean, yesterday i was saying that love brings out the worst in people and now i’ve got this 6′2″ cupid with a square jawline following me around. but like,,, don’t i have the right to say that??? all love has done is hurt me. i’m allowed to bitch a little about it!! like! mind your own business??? goddamn! and you know-” “phoebe i just woke up save the onslaught until after 10am please” and phoebe just sorta pauses and goes back to pushing her cereal around and piper says “and i’m not calling you a cold hearted cynic but... you have changed” and phoebe’s completely ready to rant again like “pfft of course i’ve changed you think you can be married to the source of all-” “zp! not til after 10!” and phoebe slumps back and watches as dency draws a small pattern in frost on the tile floor and you can tell she’s sorta mulling over what coop said blah blah blah this episode is the vortex demon she gets knocked into a world based on her innermost desires and in it she’s happily married and in love in an apartment of her own raising her daughter and writing her column blah blah blah she takes one look at her finger that very much has a wedding band on it and is like “cupid!!!! cupid u fuckin bastard get down here!!! cupid!!!” and no response and she’s scowling like “coop??? coop!!!!!!!!” and he’s no where to be seen and she’s like wait shit i think this is the alternate whirlpool vortex things i gotta find my sister blah blah blah chris knocks paige into phoebe’s world and paige is like “okay what’s the catch” and phoebe’s like “what catch” and paige is like “you know, the catch! what makes this not reality. like in my world, magic was practiced openly, and everyone knew about it. come on, chris said the realities were shaped my like our fantasies or wants... is anything different here??” and phoebe’s like “oh you know uhh not really everything basically the same um but you know i have my own apartment here where i live with dency...” “oh my god wait where is she now who’s taking care of her?” “oh uh well that would be my husband.” “cole’s alive????” “no! not cole! i don’t know who he is actually but he seems nice :)” and there’s a beat where you can tell paige really wants to Get Into What This Means and phoebe really Doesn’t Want To Talk About It but then they both seem to agree that they’re being hunted by a demon so maybe this can take a back seat rn blah blah blah they kill the demon and the end of the episode paige is about to go on her date w richard and her and phoebe have a little heart to heart and paige is like i think you should talk to the cupid bc i think maybe your whole hating love thing might just be a front like i think you’re trying to convince urself of something blah blah blah and phoebe’s just like :/ maybe so.
alright blah blah blah next episode phoebe’s like “coop?” and coop, suddenly appearing behind her is like “yeah?” and phoebe’s like “i give up. so uh work your little cupid magic or whatever and i guess let’s do this thing.” and coop like lights up he’s like so happy and he’s all like “great! let’s get started!” and phoebe’s mentally preparing for a series of really boring dates but then coop surprises her by not doing that??? like he doesn’t set her up with anyone at all bc he’s all like you need time to heal and find urself again???? which honestly phoebe isn’t complaining about and like phoebe will be feeding baby dency in the kitchen and coop will pop in like “what are your thought on taking a pottery class?” and it’s happened before where she’s been so swamped with work that she doesn’t have time to pick up supplies for dency so coop will just go out and like buy diapers?? and gradually phoebe feels herself opening up more and more and one night she’s at p3 and this guy come up to talk to her and she doesn’t just scowl him away and she finds herself having a great conversation and she see coop wink at her from across the bar.
and you know things go well with this guy yada yada yada but one night she goes out on a date and her sisters weren’t able to watch lil dency for her so coop was babysitting and she comes back home to see coop sending out small pink glowing projections from his ring and her baby just laughing uncontrollably trying to catch them and phoebe gets why she has been ready to dive fully in to the guy she’s been going out with. coop says it’s just nerves bc of her past relationships and that it’s completely fine and understandable but phoebe knows better. or at least now she does. she’s in love with coop.
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hopeymchope · 6 years ago
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So, I'm trying to understand this, from a person who has next to no knowledge on the series. What exactly is going on with Attack on Titan? And I'm more than willing to read a long rant if it means I get an explanation.
If you’re wondering why the tag for the manga blew up in recent weeks, that’s one specific thing - a character “death” (or at least, character-serious-injury) that’s got fans freaking out.
If you’re wondering why everything has been sucking for like two straight years of manga and people like me keep making very salty posts about it, that’s a whole other topic.
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And that’s what I’m gonna cover in this rant: How Attack on Titan has been shitting its own bed for more than a year now.
Basic Setup: Attack on Titan takes place in a world where the remnants of humanity live in a walled city. The city’s walls protect them from gigantic, grotesque “Titans” who attempt to devour people on sight.
…but naturally, as the story went on, it got way more complicated.
Most of the problems with the manga began circa the time-skip (which is also where the Anime is going to catch up to once the current season 3 is finished). Rarely has there ever been a time-skip in fiction that’s been wonderfully received, but the four-year gap between “Return to Shanganshima” and the “Marley” arc has to be one of the worst.
But the whole crash-and-burn kind of starts right before the time-skip, when we first learn the name “Marley,” begin to learn the true origin of Titans, and uncover true enemy opposing our heroes via a forced flashback. For the purposes of this little essay, let’s just put all of the Marley-related information into one big collection - I’m not gonna separate the last couple chapters pre-timeskip from all the tons we’ve had afterwards. All things dealing with the aforementioned “enemy” will just go into one big fuckpile.
SO. The time-skip jumped forward fouryears into an arc that lasted almost a year without letting us see any of our established protagonists. Instead, we follow… the enemy I just mentioned.
And since Attack on Titan begins and goes for most of its duration without any clear enemies outside of “TEH TITANS” and “general assholes within the system,” this is where I have to put a spoiler cut.
A Rant on Titan
So the enemy of the characters we know so far is Marley, the actual source of the titans. The world isn’t destroyed at all, naturally. Our heroes just live in one isolated place on the planet, which is forced to be surrounded by Titans because Marley shoved them into that walled city and then created Titans on the regular.
Marley is a nation of………………
…*SIGH*…
okay, look. I could try to call Marley  a “Nazi Germany allegory,” but the allegory is so thin that they’re basically just incredibly overt Nazis. They’re a military-focused nation of incredible genetic pride where purity is celebrated and where one particular race - a group of both different genetic descendancy than them AND of different religious beliefs - are treated as inferior garbage. The Marley government sees “Eldians” as disposable. They are forced to wear armbands with stars on their arms (YES, REALLY) to identify them in public, and they also make them lived in fenced-off, separate communities.
Marley’s science experiments on Eldians (yup, they tossed that in, too) resulted in the creation of the TITANS. It turns the Eldians into mindless prisoners of their own bodies who grow in size, deform, try to eat people instinctively, and long only for their own deaths.
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If they made a third AOT video game, it’d have to be something like this. …. So maybe we shouldn’t.
ANYWAY. During this Marley story arc, we mostly follow child soldiers. They’re of “low birth” because of their race. They chose to enter military service in exchange for having their families treated like regular human beings one day, if they earn their way to become titan-shifters. Nevermind that titan-shifters all die within seven years because of the power of turning into a titan - it’s worth it to raise their family’s status beyond just your regular Jews Eldians, right? Nevermind that they’d never really be seen as equals. Even those who have elevated their own rank by becoming shifters are shown to still be subject to some snark and disdain,but yknow - you were just born that way, so you’re shitty regardless, right?
Through this horrific scenario, we follow a few kids in particular - most notably Falco, who is gradually seeing reality and realizing how they don’t deserve to be treated like shit and that this is all a work - and Gabi, who is becoming increasingly militant and more zealous over time.
RELEVANT SIDE NOTE: Gabi’s character design is based upon a sketch Isayama once did of a gender-shfited Eren Jeager (Eren Jaeger is the main protagonist of the series). For that reason, you might be inclined ot think that Gabi is some kind of alternate/parallel Eren.
Except that’s fucking ridiculous, of course!
Gabi is shown to only care about her own rage against the people within the walls of “Paradis” (the sarcastic name for the walled city where all of our heroes come from) above ALL else. She doesn’t care about her family at all, never noticing her brother’s suicidal tendencies and pain even as Falco is acutely aware of it. The fact that her parents are pained by her following her brother’s dark path to becoming a shifter. She doesn’t notice or care. The more evidence that is put in front of her that the other side might not be as evil as she thinks? That just makes her want to commit murder MORE.
Oh, and she DOES murder people. And try to murder more. A lot. She even successfully murders a fan-favorite character - a character who shows her mercy by pointing a gun at her, seeing she’s only a child, and opting to let her live. Gabi repays this mercy by shooting that character in the back later and boasting excitedly about it to anyone who will listen for multiple chapters in a row.
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She then tries to top that by attempting to murder that character’s little adopted sister, who is like, maybe 10 years old, tops? Gabi is then protected from harm by Mikasa and now seems to be on the path towards some kind of “redemption arc” because… uh…………..
………………..because Isayama is shitty?
By contrast, Eren struggles throughout the ENTIRE NARRATIVE to bring harm to people who betray him/those he cares about or those who try to kill him/those he cares about, but often runs into incredible challenges when fighting these douchenozzles. The entire time we followed Eren up until now, he always prioritized his family and friends above EVERYTHING. He would risk ANYTHING to protect them and his comrades in the Paradis military… this was true from when he was a young boy at the start of the story up through him being a young man at this point. And he is ESPECIALLY intense about protecting his closest friends, Armin and Mikasa, who he’s known for nearly his entire life. They grew up together.
That’s set in fucking stone for like 90 chapters, so we’re good. Yeah?
Oh, sweet summer child. Perhaps you were so unprepared for Isayama’s Nazi mallet that you didn’t see his secondary weapon coming?
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See, the post-timeskip Eren treats his friends like shit. He lies to them, betrays their trust, runs off and starts a literal war on his OWN, and then tells them how much he hates them. Claims he always hated them.
So in the course of just a couple chapters, he goes from saying this:
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To swiftly saying THIS:
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Note that devastated look in her eyes. Wonderful.
And yes, he’s GOT to be lying, because I don’t think Isayama would juxtapose those two scenes so closely together in some unwitting fashion. But he’s doing so much damage to them by now that I honestly don’t even know if it matters?
Take Hange.
She’s the intelligent leader of the team, the one who always has a wild, unlikely plan. She’s a science whiz and comes up with longshot plans that always seem to weirdly… work out.
We’re told that, three years ago, she was presented a plan to overthrow Marley by Zeke - a fucking bastard who is clearly a member of the enemy, he’s lived with them his whole life, as a child he betrayed his parents to them and had them executed for being disloyal to Marley, and he’s killed COUNTLESS comrades of our heroes - and Hange decided Zeke’s plan was the only possible option and came up with no alternatives for four years. So she made them ally up with the least trustworthy person IMAGINABLE for a terrible plan,b because Hange’s… a stupid sucker now, I guess.
And why is it a terrible plan — aside from the fact that there is literally zero reason to ever believe anything Zeke says to you, since he’s the most evil fucker in the world? Oh, because it hinges HEAVILY around forcing another member of the team — Historia — into a pregnancy to churn out a baby they intend to use for the country’s gain.
Historia’s big character arc in “Attack on Titan” has been her coming to terms with her own identity and OWNING it. She’s been hiding under another identity or been controlled by other people much of her life. She finally comes out under her true name, declares that she’ll never leave in fear or be maniuplated ever again, and then—
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… oh wait.. she’s manipulated into being barefoot and pregnant against her own wishes, because their greatest enemy asked for it.
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There’s a lot to hate about the post-”Return to Shinganshima” Attack on Titan, in short. From characters becoming inversions of themselves to full fanatical Nazis being treated like redemption babies to complete destruction of self-actualization of other characters and the fact that, even if this is part of some larger plan being manipulated by multiple players (which seems likely), it still won’t really make up for much of the damage… and for that matter, how plausible would it even be?
But basically, there’s going to have to be quite an 11th-hour ass-pull to make this turn out decently in my eyes by now. And that’s not IMPOSSIBLE.
But it’s looking pretty unlikely.
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drkoestersmithrpg · 5 years ago
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The fight between Mysterio and Spider-Man was epic, all the papers said so.
Of course, the papers were taking pictures and witnesses descriptions from below.
A good thing - Peter wasn’t sure ANYONE wanted to hear what they were SAYING to each other up there above the streets of New York…
“You think he’s going to romance you and take you home and fuck you on his ludicrously expensive sheets?  He’ll never touch you when he finds out what a slut you’ve been…”
“Excuse me?  Have you MET Tony Stark?  Pretty sure the man isn’t into virgins, Quentin.”
“You’ll never get hard for him, Peter Pa…”
“Never?  TOO late.  Way too late…”
If Mysterio was trying to get a rise (as it were) out of his opponent it was having the opposite effect.  Spider-Man, now aware that his erstwhile-lover was actually jealous of  Peter’s crush on Tony, continued to goad while Mysterio raged and ranted, until finally he had Peter by the neck and was shaking him like a ragdoll above the terrified crowds.  “You’ll never get hard for him again Peter Parker.  I swear.  See how hot you can make that old man for you then…”
He flung Peter into a building wall, causing structural damage and a slight headache.  He rocketed away leaving Spider-Man annoyed and contemptuous.
(As if he even had a CHANCE with Tony.  Seriously?  Not only did Quentin turn out to be a villain he was also crazy.)
                                               * * * * * * * * * * * * * 
There was a few hours of panic among the Avengers when Ironman fell off the radar for an hour or so, but the forces were scrambled and he was quickly located, mostly due to Peter’s hacking abilities.  Rather than be content to follow Tony’s suit as it zoomed toward his location Peter convinced FRIDAY to give up her information and the Avengers assembled on the spot - freeing Tony from Mysterio’s hideout where he had been briefly chained to a wall.  Mysterio escaped with the Avengers in pursuit, leaving Peter behind to take Tony home.  (They both insisted it was necessary, and no one was going to argue.  Those two clearly needed to get a room anyway.)
                                                    * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In the helicopter ride back to the penthouse (Tony refused the hospital) Peter found himself tearing up. “This is my fault, Tony.”  Tony argued, of course, argued and held him close.  It was hard to hear each other in the copter, that’s why they couldn’t let go of each other, that’s why they had to keep holding, keep speaking with their faces so close together.
In the penthouse they sat together on the sofa and Peter tried to make Tony understand.  That Quentin had been his lover, that it was his confession of his most treasured secrets (Quen always seemed to be after Peter’s most treasured secrets, always claimed it was the ‘proof’ that he needed of Peter’s devotion) that led to Tony being kidnapped at all.  It wasn’t easy, getting Tony to understand.  
But being in Tony’s arms?  Being held securely against Tony’s shoulder while Tony stroked his hair and held him close?  That made telling Tony the whole story easy.  VERY easy.  They wound up laying on the sofa together, holding each other, taking, both telling their stories, comparing notes.  
“He bragged about getting you into bed,” Tony whispered against his forehead, tangling gentle fingers into Peter’s curls.  Stroking one thumb across Peter’s temple, somehow, made it easier to confess.  His humiliation at being found out.  His horror that anyone had known.  “I mean...I’m not...I was so happy for you, that you found each other.  I took credit for introducing you to him.  He seemed good for you – smart, up-and-coming.  But I’m sorry Peter I think…I think he seduced you to get back at me…”
“But how can you…can you be sure?” Peter asked, looking up at Tony and cupping his face.  (He wasn’t sure if any of this was real.  Was he really here, in Tony’s penthouse, practically laying on top of the man on his huge couch,  the man’s mouth inches from his own, confessing to everything?)  “Which came first, you wanting me, or me wanting you?  We were dating and he was always so jealous, so possessive.  But I’m not sure he knew...until I told him.  He wanted me to confess my most secret fantasy, and I did.  And it was you.  And the next day he kidnapped you.”
“I laughed in his face,” Tony whispered, touching Peter’s cheek with gentle fingers.  “He told me we’d never be together, that he had…cursed us?  Or something?  And I laughed.  I didn’t tell me why, but all I could think of was ‘As if THE Peter Parker would waste a second on me…’”
Peter reached up to touch that mouth, that mouth that was so close to his own, that mouth that was saying so many impossible things.
But getting up, rising from the couch without putting any weight on his hero’s already bruised-and-banged-up body, took both hands.  So he rose, gently, gingerly pulling away from the pretzel they had created until he could bring his mouth to Tony’s.  There he kissed him very gently.  Kissed him until Tony kissed him back.
                                                       * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Getting naked together wasn’t easy.  Multiple people had to contact and be contacted and be assured and then there were multiple debriefings and strategy meetings scheduled until it was very late at night and Tony used FRIDAY to cut off the world.  Relaxing in Tony’s arms, in Tony’s kiss, was like heaven.
Tony undressed him tenderly.  And when he got to it, he took Peter’s flaccidity in stride.
“Are you nervous, baby?” he asked, grinning a little.
“Very,” Peter lied, then turned his chest to the bed, looking up with what he hoped were innocent eyes.  “Can we do it this way?”
“But I wanted to kiss you,” Tony whispered, pouting a little. even as he climbed aboard.  “Oh, you can still kiss me,” Peter said, looking back with a grin.  “I’m very bendy.”
He came into the sheets – he didn’t even know you could come without getting hard first – but the proof was in the wetspot.  
                                                    * * * * * * * * * * * * *
In the shower when Tony got amorous (and on his knees) and Peter moaned in appreciation, the moaned again as Little Peter remained calm and collected.   Tony made a joke about ‘tucking him in and kissing him goodnight.”  They both laughed it off.  It was late, after all.
                                                  * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Peter fled the penthouse, despite Tony’s protests, to sleep in his own dormroom.  He sank into his bed, lying to himself.  It was nothing.   He had just been tired, or just nervous, sure.  In the morning woke up full of self-assurance.
SO much self-assurance, he decided to send a pic to Tony, who responded enthusiastically.  
“I want that,” he purred into the phone in a voice that made Peter melt with pleasure.  “That is a thing of beauty.  I want it in my shower, and then in my bed.  I want to feel that in my mouth.  
“When can I expect you?”
                                                 * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Back in Tony’s bed, buried to the root in Tony’s mouth, Peter was far too distracted, distracted by dreams long held dear and dreams coming true,  to really notice the problem.  Tony noticed of course (he had a mouth-full after all) and kissed his way up Peter’s body, taking him into a tender embrace before confronting him.
“Sometimes, baby,  when you’ve been fantasizing about things too long, the real thing just doesn’t measure up…”
Manfully Peter looked into Tony’s face and said...
...”whu?
“Oh God,” Peter moaned when he looked down and saw the problem, covering his face with his hands and retreating to the edge of the bed.
It was an Alaskan King, which meant it took a while to get there.
On the way he processed what Tony had said.  “Dear Lord Tony no, is that what you think??  But of course that’s what you...that’s what he wants you to think, oh Tony...”  Feet on the floor, head in his hands, Peter sat at the edge of his fantasy-turned-reality-lover’s bed and wondered if his spiderbite would give him the power to disappear.  
“Tony.. we ...have to talk about Quentin.”
                                                 * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“No.  No.  That’s not how it works, Peter.  Beck is a manipulative bastard and a thief who made...inappropriate use of Stark Tech.  He is not a wizard, Dr. Strange will back me up on this.  It’s not magic, it’s just...he’s just in your head.  You’re just worried about him because he’s still at large, but...”
“Oh God do you really think I’m thinking about him right now?”  Peter shouted leaping to his feet, feeling absurd.  He was pacing, naked, in Tony’s bedroom and shouting.  He sat back down in defeat.  
“Except now I am.  When I’m with you he’s the last think I’m thinking about, and then I look down and it’s all I can...oh God this is exactly what he wanted...”
So MAYBE it ends with:
Tony explaining that Peter’s not really cursed, Mysterio’s powers don’t really WORK that way, he’s just in Peter’s head right now because he escaped, and if they set they’re collective minds to it they can convince Peter’s subconscious to forget all about it, “In about a year.”
“You…you think this will last for a year?” Peter sputtered.
“No…no…I mean after a year’s worth of sex.
“Which we can probably fit into two months, if you think about it.
“We’re superheroes - right?”
———–
alternately it ends with Peter saying “Did you just suggest … locking me in yoru penthouse for a two-month sex-a-thon?”
“For medical purposes.”
“To cure me of my…medical issues…”
“Hey, it only affects you around me.  We don’t have to date…”
“NOPE not an option - wait, we’re dating??  YES. I’m in.  Two month sex-a-thon…
“As an experiment”
“And if THAT doesn’t work?”
“We’ll try something else.  I think we should give it at least 6 months before we get the tech involved.”
“The … tech ?!?!
“Oh sweet Petie, I think this is the perfect use of Stark Technology…
drkoestersmithrpg
ALSO:  Oh god Tony you don’t think…oh god of course you do.  This is what he wanted.
OR maybe
“Tony that would…be…inappropriate use of Stark Technology…”
“Oh sweet Petie, I think this is the perfect use of Stark Technology.”
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ariahearthockey · 5 years ago
Text
Love Me, If You Will - Chapter 3
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
_/_/_/_/
Fandom: Men’s Hockey RPF
Pairing: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Tags: 2017 NHL Playoffs, Concussion, Memory Loss, Medical Inaccuracies, Unexplained Medical Conditions, Alternate Reality, Time Travel (sort of), Pining, Fluff, Porn With Feelings, Happy Ending (sort of)
Soundtrack: Dancing On My Own - Calum Scott
_/_/_/_/
Chapter 3
He feels odd walking down the familiar hallway towards the locker room in the PPG Paint Arena. Everything looks as it should be and yet, it feels somewhat difference. He has just finished a brief chat with Sully in his office, relaying the good news after his follow-up check-up with the team doctor. As expected, Dr Vyas has cleared him to play in game five but not before he is reminded to keep a look out for any more symptoms. He has decided not to enclose his issue with his messed-up memory, and it is arguably the most conflicted he has ever felt. It feels a lot like a betrayal of trust to the management, but with the playoff on the line, too much is at risk.
On the drive from their house to the rink, he has some time to think about the matter on hand and he has decided not to let anyone know other than himself and Geno. He is still shaken about it for sure, but years of practice has allowed him to compartmentalise his fear and do what needs to be done. And what he needs is for this to not interfere with his chance to go for the Stanley Cup with his team.
It took him more than half an hour in the staffs' parking lot to convince Geno. Geno has looked so offended when he has first suggested to keep it a secret. Geno was absolutely appalled and almost recruited Brisson to talk some sense into him until he begs Geno not to. He talked to Geno with as much sincerity as he could muster, reasoning with Geno that there would not be a quick fix to his condition. What if Dr. Vyas decided to pull him out for the rest of the playoff? What good will that do to the team?
And Geno had been so angry that he said to hell with the playoff because everything else pales in comparison to Sidney's health. Sidney would have been really touched by that, that Geno is genuinely scared for his sake. If only he wasn't a selfish bastard.
He pried further into Geno's weakness and used it to his advantage. He pleaded Geno to understand his desire to keep playing, telling him how much it would mean for him if he could raise the cup over his head again, how happy it would make him if they could kiss the cup again and bring it home together. And that if his memory never comes back, then at least he could have this, and they could build new ones together. It was a cheap shot, borderline manipulative to be taking advantage of Geno's kindness like that, but he was desperate, and it did get him what he wanted. Geno's reluctance was torn down bits by bits, and finally crumbled down when Sidney promised to come clean right away when he feels any worse.
So, as of right now, the secret is safe. 
In a moment of honesty, he is willing to admit that he has never been as shaken as he has. He is somehow thrust in the center on an entirely different life that he knows nothing of. He has a husband and a beautiful, doting 3-year old daughter. Sofya, the child who is rightfully theirs through surrogacy. He is still not done digesting the fact that his own sister has volunteered to donate her egg and carry the child to term. It feels all too weird at first, but when he sees the picture of his—their daughter—on Geno's phone, he has never been more thankful. Dressed in tiny hockey gears, bright smile on her face, and clutching a giant penguin plushie in her tiny arms, she is just a ball of sunshine that makes him want to weep. A little bit of Geno and a little bit of him, she is just the perfect little miracle that melts his heart through and through.
And then he wonders to himself, how could I have forgotten my own child, as sweet and as beautiful as her? And all that has accomplished is making him dispose of any doubt he has for keeping his condition under wraps. This whole thing about not remembering is messing with him quite a lot. He can't seem to shake off the gnawing feelings his guts. It grows stronger with more stones being turned, and he can't ignore that something is disproportionately wrong with him. He thinks that it is his body trying to tell him something, that maybe his time as a hockey player is dated. That thought leaves him petrified and that further pushes him to make the most out of whatever time he still has.
He doesn't know what to expect when he pushes the door into the locker room. It smells just as it should be right after every practice session and just as loud too, maybe even louder. The picture of twenty over something men in all states of undress is a comfortable norm to him and for brief moment, he feels at home for the first time since he woke up. He doesn't know why but he comes in, prepared to feel somewhat out of place, but the warm greetings and lame chirps from his teammates give him a sense of familiarity he didn't know he craves until now. It calms him.
Geno is already out of his gear—thankfully with his undershirt still on—when he makes a beeline over to Sidney. He ducks down to give Sidney a chaste kiss on the mouth and hears some of the guys in the room hollering at them to get a room or something along that line and Geno chirping back. He doesn't know what to make of that little display of affection, nor he has the time to, because his mind is still reeling with it as he is being escorted back to Geno's stall. It isn't much, just a brief touching of lips on lips but it is enough to keep him stunned for a bit. The guys don't seem to bat an eye to see their captain and their alternate kiss, which tells him that it may be something of a frequent occurance. 
Oh, yes. Of course it does. He just remembered that he and Geno have been married for five fucking years. They are practically one of the old married couples now.
"Sid, talk with Sully okay?" Geno asks and he almost can't hear it when the younger guys throw a couple more dirty chirps their way that comprises of their sex life. Sidney blushes and nods at Geno as a respond before they are once again interrupted, this time by Cully who comes by and gives his back a couple of friendly pats.
"Hey, babe. Good to have you back in one piece. You scared the hell out of a lot of us when you stayed down on the ice, especially your protective Russian bear over here."
"It's true, I can attest to that." Chimes Phil who looks like he has just came out of the shower judging by how his hair matted on his forehead. "You know, this guy here looked about to hurl when you went down and it took three of us to physically stop him from going over to make Niskanen pay."
Sidney chuckles when Geno grumbles disapprovingly at the two babble mouths and to his surprise, he finds Grumpy Geno kind of adorable. "Well, it's really just bad luck that he got me that way. It's just how it is, right? I don't think it was on purpose or anything. It's just ill-timed, is all. I think he left me several texts, probably apologising, but I haven't check them out yet, so."
"Ill-timed my ass! More like perfectly timed to me, man. If he hits any harder, who knows if it's gonna end it for you right there and then, huh? I don't know about you guys, man, but Flower definitely agrees with me, right Flower?"
"Huh?" Flower looks up from his lap where his helmet is on, and takes a few moments looking back and forth between Kuni and Sidney to catch on to what is being asked of him. He tosses a roll of tape onto the bench and smooths his long fringe away from his eyes. "Oh, yeah. For sure, man. Sid, so glad you're okay. What Nisky did was so not cool and I'm gonna make sure he knows that we're very upset with him."
Sidney frowns because Flower is usually not much of an instigator but he must say, he is curious to see what Flower would do to show his dissatisfaction. "Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. I'm sorry for making you guys worry about me. But hey—it's game four. You guys are gonna kill it tonight, eh?"
"Hell yeah, baby!"
"You bet your gigantic ass we will!"
"We're gonna take this game for you, man!"
"For Sid!"
"Watch and learn, boys. I'm gonna make Ovi cry like a baby tonight."
To say that Sidney is touched by the support from his teammates is an understatement, especially when Horny make his way over without a word and gives him a tight, bone-crushing hug. It lasts longer than any ordinary locker room hugs should be, and probably longer than Geno has liked because it has him practically prying Horny's arms away to end it. When they part, Sidney thinks he caught a glimpse of Horny's watery eyes before he heads out of the locker room. At that moment, he thinks himself as the most privileged guy to be surrounded by these group of good people and he is grateful.
He stays in the room while he waits for Geno to come back. Geno is with Dana in the equipment room, sorting out some issue Geno has on his pair of new skates. Some of the rookies come to him and they talk for a bit, mostly asking how he is doing and talking about how to improve their plays. Shearsy—who is also out for concussion—sits quietly beside him and listens when he comments about Jake's wrist shots.
It is nice to be having these talks with the boys. It makes him feel like he is contributing something to the team, as much as it distracts him from searching for answers that never seem to be there. For what it is worth, apart from being called Mrs Malkin every five minutes or so—all in good fun, of course—the team is still more or less the same. They are still the same driven group and he wants nothing more than to help them achieve their best game, regardless if he is playing or not.
Optimistically, everything will return to normal once he regains his lost memories. But realistically, the brain is quite a fickle thing and God knows what will happen to him in the near future, if his health will deteriorate drastically at some point. Whichever way his health leads him to, he wants to be able to look himself in the mirror and says that he has done everything he can to help his team be the better team.
"Okay, rookies. Time's up. I'm take husband back now."
"Come on, Geno. Don't hog Sid all to yourself, man."
"I'm hog because I'm put ring on it. Now fuck off, Olli."
Geno squeezes himself into the space between Olli and Sidney and pushes Olli's blonde head away. Olli pushes back playfully and it makes Geno loses his balance a little, causing him to land onto Sidney's lap. Sidney catches a lapful of Geno and his hands flies up to Geno's waist on instinct, just as Geno wraps his arms around Sidney's shoulders. He has to bite back a moan when Geno moves to sits himself more comfortable and—probably not deliberately—grinding onto his crotch. He can't help the blush that rises when the rookies give them some horrified scandalous looks.
"Oh, come on. Really? Stop with the foreplay, dude. You know we can't unsee this, right?"
"Don't be baby. You see worse." Geno snarks at Jake as he make a show to tease the watchful eyes around them by tracing his hand slowly down the line of Sidney's spine. Sidney can't help the shiver that wrecks through his body and hides his profile behind of Geno, shielding his blush that is unmistakably colouring his cheeks.
"Ugh, don't remind me. I'm still trying to bleach that image of your naked ass out of my brain."
"Hey, is good ass." Geno counters and defends his ass further when the rookies shakes their head in disbelief. "You not believe me? Wait, I'm show—"
"Yeah, okay. I think we're just gonna go now and leave you two to it. And Sidney, try not to drain too much out of Geno, okay? We kinda need him tonight? Alright. Good talk, team. Dismiss!"
It is amusing to see how fast the rookies can disperse at the threat of seeing Geno's ass. Just in a few minutes time, Sidney finds himself alone with Geno in the room, with Geno still perched comfortably on his lap. He is in no hurry to get Geno off, and he will never admit it to Geno, but he is starting to lose feelings in his legs.
"Sorry for long wait. I'm make sure Dana do job."
Sidney glances up and stunned to have Geno's face just inches away from his. "It's fine, G. New skates, I know how it is."
"Yes. Dana say Sid worse than me."
Sidney shoves him away with a firm push and laughs a little guiltily when Geno lands on the carpeted floor with a thud.
"Hey, why Sid push me? What I'm say?" Geno asks as Sidney straightens his suit and heading for the door.
"Yeah, keep playing dumb, Geno. Come on, I'm hungry. Hurry up or I'm leaving without you." He shouts over his shoulder just as the door closes, and hears Geno chuckling lightly on the other side of the door.
_/_/_/_/ 
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possiblyimbiassed · 7 years ago
Text
What happened to Sherlock? Part II – Re-living memories
What is it actually that we witness in the TV show Sherlock? Is it Sherlock’s and John’s ‘reality’? Is it John Watson’s perspective, as in ACD canon? Or is it something entirely different? After S4 many viewers – including hard-core fans – lost their faith in BBC Sherlock. The characters we had learned to love (or hate) were ‘failing’ in S4: Sherlock seemed to have stopped solving crimes, John had turned into a violent wreck, ‘Mary’ the Assassin was suddenly a hero and there was not a trace of anything similar to a coherent plot line. In many ways this series seemed to have reduced the whole show into a caricature of its former self, and not much hope has been given that we can expect some change in the future.
But everything is relative, as Einstein might have said. :)  What we expected of S4 was based on what the show had been to us up until then. So to comprehend what we’re actually looking at in S4, we need to first analyse what we were actually seeing in the first three series of the show – at least up until TSoT.
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Picture source (X) 
This meta series is an attempt to look at BBC Sherlock with a ‘scientific’ approach; to set up hypotheses and predictions, test them and thereby try to solve the puzzles presented to us, the audience, by the show.  The methods I’m trying to use here are explained in the introduction. For this particular meta I’m also using a Word-transcript of John’s blog, where I have been able to use the program’s word count to compare the length of different blog-posts.
Hypothesis #1 was this: John’s blog is the most truthful account of the actual events. I did a couple of predictions and compared them to my observations.  My conclusion was that yes, this hypothesis does hold water. Which doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s true, but there is some evidence for it, and I haven’t seen it de-bunked just yet. So in the continuing analyses I’ll assume that Hypothesis #1 is true, that the blog is indeed more reliable than the TV show, at least when it comes to retelling the actual events (but not when it comes to John’s opinion of what’s going on in other people’s heads).
And now we get to the next hypothesis to explore, #2:
Hypothesis #2: The show up until John’s wedding is Sherlock re-living their story together in his MP, after reading John’s blog.
John’s blog is, in my opinion, rather straightforward in its description of John’s and Sherlock’s ‘adventures’. But as such, you could also argue that it is a bit dull; the blog does not quite live up to the ACD canon level of describing the events – far from it in fact. The John Watson that got published in The Strand Magazine used a lot more romantic and sometimes almost poetic language. 
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In this meta I intend to go through the TV show Sherlock from ASiP to TSoT, and analyse the perspective that the episodes are written from. I will stop at TSoT, though, since I see many clear differences between the show up until this episode and HLV. But that difference will be handled in a future meta about Hypothesis #4 (see the full list in the introduction, scroll down to the bottom)
This is a loooong meta, but please bear with me, because I do believe this is important. You’ll find most of it under the cut.
First of all, I want to give full credits for hypothesis #2 to @raggedyblue, who presented this idea to me in a comment to another thread, where we were discussing how reliable certain scenes in the show are. When I read it, suddenly it felt like some important pieces were falling into place, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.
Here is an excerpt from it: 
“We are in Sherlock’s MP and we see his version of history from the beginning, because he was doped and started re-reading John’s blog. Because he is a romantic bastard after all. Then he was taken away, lost his control, and now he’s looking  to return. In the show we never see any “real” scene. We’re in the funny, old Sherlock’s head. He’s reliving the facts up to where he was present, the wedding, and then he’s going ahead, trying to solve the situation in his head”.
But before this, the idea of us being in Sherlock’s ‘Extended Mind Palace from start’ had also been suggested by @kateis-cakeis, for example in this meta. Together with @ebaeschnbliah and @sherlockshadow, @kateis-cakeis has for example discovered that the Pilot is a complete mirror to ASiP! More about that in a moment. @sherlockshadow also makes a good and logical case for ‘EMP from start’ in this meta. Update: Thanks to @ebaeschnbliah, I also got the opportunity to read this interesting meta from @fandeadgloves, which makes a good case for why the whole show is probably seen from Sherlock’s POV.
Review vs analysis
But how do we know these ideas are not just wishful thinking? As I said in the beginning, it’s easy to get the impression after S4 that this whole show is something of a joke – if you take it at face value. If you believed it would be presented very much like ACD canon, albeit in modern England, you might have felt as disappointed as the guy who made this review video. And I think this is very important, because he is far from the only voice saying this. In fact I’d suspect that a majority of viewers might agree with many points he makes.
This guy has composed a long (almost 2 hours!) review of BBC Sherlock - the whole of it - and he makes a lot of interesting observations. Like for example the often overly dramatic music, the over-dramatized scenes, the excess of sound effects, but also that there’s a lot of plot holes. And he brings up all kinds of ‘baiting’ of the audience and the manipulative writing style with cliff hangers that never pay off. And – most importantly I think – the fact that the viewers are never given enough information to be able to actually solve the crime cases with their own brains; we’re forever left to just marvel at Sherlock’s greatness. So it’s obvious that he has indeed watched the show – and most probably done an amazing job collecting stuff for the review. 
But he also seems to automatically assume that the purpose of BBC Sherlock is to show the crime case solving that Sherlock Holmes does, very much the same way as in ACD canon, and in most of the following adaptations, only this time in a modern environment. He assumes that this is a modern detective story, rather than a story about a detective. 
But to me this feels a bit like reading John Watson’s blog, where Sherlock asks: “What about the analysis, John?”
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I think Sherlock has a point here. The thing is that John, while good at finding clues, he never, as far as I can recall, really tries to analyse or deduce something. Except in TAB’s Victorian setting, which is definitely happening inside Sherlock’s head,
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and in TLD, where a ghost starts to deduce things for him). John is mostly far too busy making assumptions and jumping to conclusions about people’s motives, at least on the blog: 
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But this guy who made the video even recommends us to not analyse the details of the show too much! (at 49:51 minutes into the video). He is bitterly disappointed (and many with him, I imagine – I’ve seen a lot of criticism where people dismiss the whole show as ‘badly written’) that the show doesn’t give us more episodes where we can follow Sherlock Holmes’ deductive reasoning to solve crime cases. But at the same time, his own video is full of assumptions about the show-makers’ motives (very much like John’s assumptions about Sherlock’s motives), and he utterly refuses to use Sherlock’s method of deduction and logical reasoning himself, while looking at the show as a whole. 
Isn’t this a bit contradictory? Because if you find this many inconsistencies and crazy things in a show about a detective, I think you should ask yourself “why is this? What could the writers possibly have wanted to convey? What is actually going on here?” And then you go through each of these observations and try to figure this out, you try to make sense of them, preferably also trying to think ‘outside of the box’.
Example: According to this guy’s video the Pilot is far ‘better’ made than ASiP, for a series of reasons – most of them based on opinions about how a ‘good’ show should be constructed. But there’s no deeper comparative analysis between them that tries to find out why these episodes are so different and maybe suggest an alternative explanation. The judgment is done, end of story.
On the other hand, this video made by @kateis-cakeis  (also referring to @sherlockshadow and @ebaeschnbliah) is also about the Pilot and ASiP, but the focus is on the data, and what patterns can be seen. They do suggest an explanation, but it’s presented as a theory, not a final conclusion. They have gone through a long series of similar scenes in both episodes, one by one, and found out that they are (almost) perfect mirrors to each other. People and objects that are positioned at one side in the Pilot is placed at the other side in ASiP, and so on. They’ve found a very distinct pattern that is difficult to explain away as coincidence. That’s a scientific approach; you use detailed analysis and deduction rather than jump to conclusions based on assumptions. You look at the pieces of the puzzle and try to figure out how they can fit together, and you use your own (and your peers’) creativity doing it. You may not reach a definitive answer right away, but you will have collected sufficient data to have a much better foundation for your future conclusions. And once you publish your thoughts, others can use your data to do their own analysis, and so on.
So what does this mirror analysis tell us? Well, most of all I think it shows that this show can’t be just about the crime cases; there’s something else going on here - otherwise the show makers wouldn’t have arranged details in this manner. So maybe we have to look for answers about this show elsewhere than in the actual crime solving. Because if the crime cases are the important puzzles to solve, why are we looking at a series of therapy sessions involving the main characters, that are mirrored already in Pilot/ASiP and have an increasingly iconic setup throughout the show? What has that to do with crime solving?
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I think it’s logical, though; we can’t follow Sherlock’s deductions about the cases because that’s not what we’re supposed to solve - that’s Sherlock’s job!! But we can use deduction to figure out what’s on Sherlock’s mind, why he and John need therapy. But then we have to think outside the box and imagine that we really are inside Sherlock’s head instead of our own.
You could argue, of course, that TV audiences shouldn’t have to be (almost) scientists or psychologists to be able to enjoy a show. But maybe we don’t have to be, maybe we just need to learn Sherlock’s method. There are so ridiculously many TV shows that don’t require a single thought “outside of the box” from its viewers. So why shouldn’t this one, which is the story about a genius detective, at least require some brain gymnastics from its viewers? Something new, not just the usual stuff?
OK, enough of ranting and opinions for a while – let’s start the actual analysis!
Testing process, fueled by more observations:
So – just like last time we’ll make some testable predictions, but this time regarding the TV show (compared to the blog), to see if we can figure this out. This time I suggest four predictions to test.
Prediction 1. If Hypothesis #2 is correct, then there might be some indications in the show that Sherlock has been reading John’s blog - reading it carefully. 
Observations:
Sherlock has made comments to John’s blogposts for a long time, but not in a particularly interested way; it took him two months before he discovered the first posts John made about their “adventures” together:
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But here it says that he has ‘glanced over it’, which seems to mean that he hasn’t read it more thoroughly. He seems to be more focused on the form and grammar of John’s blogposts than on the actual content, and his comments are mostly rather brief.
In the show, he seems to express (or fake? ;) ) a certain indifference towards what John is actually writing.
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Maybe Sherlock can’t seem to bother too much with such trivialities as making a good blogpost (actually I suspect he’s more interested in hanging over John’s shoulder.. ;) )?
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And he doesn’t seem to notice how much the blog means to John.
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But he does get annoyed when John is presenting him in ways that don’t please him.
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But there are two occasions when Sherlock definitely has shown interest in John’s blog - and none of them are covered by the TV show. The first one was when he ‘went through’ the blog searching for someone who could help him with a case (Death by Twitter is the blog title) by opening a closed facebook account. And he found “theimprobableone” (Moriarty?), who apparently then helped to solve the case.
And the second occasion is directly after the wedding, when he hacks the blog under the pretext of uploading wedding photos: 
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But he also adds a whole post about ‘sex holidays’, boredom and death and a string of comments at the course of two-three days. This time he really does seem to have nothing else to do than to read John’s blog and try to get some attention from its followers. I’ve written a meta about what I believe Sherlock’s messages meant here. John himself is on honeymoon, tells Sherlock to shut up and never writes a word about the wedding once it’s over, neither does he seem to appreciate Sherlock’s wedding photos, since he doesn’t even mention them. One might wonder why - wasn’t this supposed to be one of the happiest events in John’s life? Wouldn’t he even want to write a single line about it on his own blog? 
There are quite a lot of talk about memories in BBC Sherlock; @sarahthecoat has made a useful list of books and other kinds of memory storage devices here. Memories indeed seems to be one of the recurring themes in this show, which also is a factor in backing up Hypothesis #2, I believe. And the blog as such is perhaps one of the most important memory devices, since John has given a thorough account of his and Sherlock’s life together - it’s like a public diary over their relationship. So let’s do an imaginative experiment - here’s a possible scenario that would fit with Prediction #1 for Hypothesis #2: 
Let’s say that while John is on honeymoon for several days, probably about a week, Sherlock is at home in 221B - heartbroken, lonely and depressed. He has lost John forever (at least that’s what he believes), but he doesn’t quite understand what went wrong between them. He has quit working; he can’t really focus on anything else than John for the moment. And in his solitude, he begins to re-read John’s whole blog during this week, because he needs to know. He is not yet willing to engage with his own feelings for John, but in order to try and figure out ‘objectively’ what happened, he enters his mind palace and starts re-running the scenes from his memories, based on John’s blog entries. And this is the show as we see it from the beginning.
A wild idea, right? Is there really any evidence in the TV show to back up this scenario, to tell us that Sherlock was reading John’s blog during this time? Well, yes, I think there is. Apart from the ones presented above, I also think the show tells us about this specifically, it’s just that we see it after it happened, played out in an imaginative universe inside Sherlock’s mind palace: 
Exhibit A: In TAB, which I’m going to assume almost entirely happens in Sherlock’s imagination (see lots of evidence for this in EMP theory), Mycroft talks about Sherlock’s recent OD and his history of drug use and then says this:
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This is Mycroft saying this - on a subtextual level believed to represent Sherlock’s brain, and on a meta level he represents Mark Gattiss, the storyteller.
But if (at least) the second part of HLV also happens in Sherlock’s MP, then there is no Sherlock murdering Magnussen, consequently no prison for Sherlock, right? Thus MP!Mycroft is referring to something else - and what might that be? I think he’s referring to Sherlock locking himself up in 221B for a week in solitary confinement, starting to re-read John’s blog and re-living all his memories with John - including the most heart-breaking ones. 
Exhibit B:  Before this moment in TAB, when Sherlock has just woke up from his gay Victorian fever dream OD and starts babbling about Emilia Ricoletti, ‘Mary’ grabs his iPhone and says:
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And if this scene also happens inside Sherlock’s head (EMP theory again), this evidence from MP!Mary points in the same direction: yes - Sherlock has been reading up on John’s blog, the story of how they met and of how they lived together at 221B. And with this, assuming EMP theory is correct about TAB being mind palace, I think Prediction #1 actually passes the test, and we can go on and make a second prediction. 
Prediction 2. If Hypothesis #2 is correct, then some irregular patterns in the blog might have influenced Sherlock’s memory when he read it, and these irregularities would consequently also be reflected in the show. (If the show, on the other hand, shows us the ‘reality’, there would be no such corresponding pattern = 0 hypothesis). 
Observations: Let’s compare the blog posts with their representation in the TV show. 
Some of the more lengthy and thoroughly described blogposts are A Study in Pink (1742 words), The Blind Banker (1084), The Great Game (2323) and The Hounds of Baskerville (1373). Each of these has a whole episode in the show. I would also venture to say that they are all among the episodes with the most coherent plot-lines, easy to follow and not interrupted by much weirdness.
ASiB, on the other hand, is an episode that is partly divided into a series of flashbacks showing different cases that Sherlock and John worked with. The blog covers them as The Geek Interpreter (690 words), The Speckled Blonde (632), The Aluminium Crutch (1080) and The Six Thatchers (614). All these minor blogposts are shown very briefly in the show, more like news flashes, and The Six Thatchers isn’t shown at all (the events in the blogpost differ a bit from the later episode in S4, but the main structure is the same). 
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The actual main plot-line of the episode is covered by the very short blogposts Sherlock Holmes Baffled, By Royal Appointment, Christmas, Happy New Year, Actually Happy New Year and The Woman. The title ‘A Scandal in Belgravia’ doesn’t even exist on John’s blog (maybe it’s Sherlock’s invention?)! And as we know, ASiB has a lot of weird scenes in it, with spinning images, Sherlock being drugged, a dream scenario with Irene Adler, a mystic sitting John who is not really there, a plane full of dead people, quick leaps between different places, The Woman attending a client, Moriarty blowing a rasberry like a child, etc, etc. None of these things are covered by the blogposts.
And - strangely enough - the mysterious Boomerang case did apparently not merit its own blogpost - I wonder if Sherlock even told John the solution to this case? It would have been a great story, and there was no secrets connected to it! But the only thing John says about it is: “So there I am, dealing with a mysterious death in the middle of the countryside when suddenly I'm whisked away in a helicopter and taken to Buckingham Palace”. And the whole dead-people-on-a-plane sequence did not make it into the blog (John blames this on ‘national secrecy’ of course).
On the other hand we have TRF, which has a long, exciting and very distinct plot line in the show, but all the blog says about it is this:
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And then he adds that Sherlock saved two childrens’ lives, and that’s it. John has good reasons not wanting to talk about it, though, since Sherlock supposedly committed suicide after this. 
It’s definitely also worth noticing that apparently Moriarty both hacked the blog and broke into 221 B at some point between THoB and TRF, since he uploaded a video showing this on the blog. Jim pays attention to the following objects in 221B: 
Lot’s of notes:
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Headphones on the bison head:
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Abundance of books:
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That Sherlock is emotional:
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And - last but not least - Skulls!! I see you Arwel Wyn Jones
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Jim’s break-in and blog-hacking is never addressed in the show, but I think it’s quite interesting that all these things seem to be recurring themes later in the show - including the fact that Moriarty shows up at 221B (I’ll get back to this is a later meta). I do regard this as more evidence for Hypothesis #2; if Sherlock has been reading up on John’s blog and is re-living the memories, Jim’s observations might have got stuck in his head for future reference.
Anyway, after TRF we have three short blogposts about cases that Sherlock had solved before TRF; The Deadly Tealights (410 words), Death by Twitter (452) and Murder at 'The Orient Express' (449). Non of them is mentioned in the TV show. The Inexplicable Matchbox (297), however, is briefly accounted for by Sherlock in his Best Man speech in TSoT. 
And then there is Many Happy Returns - 470 words on the blog. It’s short in the show as well, but at least a little longer than most of the other renditions of John’s shorter blog cases. The hiatus was long, however, so it makes sense that the TV show would show us at least some things from Sherlock’s doing in the mean time. Which John would know nothing about, of course. ;)
In TEH, when Sherlock comes back, the show has this irregular plot line again, with a series of different cases and even more weirdness than ASiB. At first we see Anderson’s ridiculously romanticized (and heteronormative) idea of what happened to Sherlock at the Fall, and Lestrade dismissing it. Then Sherlock is captured and viciously tortured in Serbia, but when he comes back to London directly after, he seems fine and healthy; just a bit of shaving and he’s ready to play jokes on John. Which ends with more violence. 
The time line is tricky to follow and the plot line is unfocused; when exactly was John kidnapped? How many cases did Sherlock solve before John saw fit to visit him? What was the whole terrorist plot actually about? And there’s a very strange interlude with Anderson questioning Sherlock about how he survived, at the same time as a terrorist bomb is about to explode in a subway wagon with John and Sherlock in it. 
But the interesting thing is that the show’s twists and turns are fairly consistent with the blogpost The Empty Hearse (828 words), which starts with “Where do I even begin?”. The post is all jumbled up and mixed with a lot of John’s feelings - many of them expressing anger, disbelief and a deep resentment towards Sherlock. And back is the ‘psychopath’ talk, which John had tuned down considerably during the hiatus. (How can he even publish such rubbish as if he were writing an interesting account of a huge case of national security they solved together? And after everything he had said in Sherlock’s defense? I’m appalled, and tempted to agree with Sherlock’s blog comment “I see you haven't spent the last two years working on your writing technique”).
Finally, TSoT. John’s blog posts don’t cover the wedding at all, which would be logical if John only used the blog to describe the crime cases. But he obviously doesn’t, so wouldn’t this be something John would be happy to describe? His own wedding?? And he would definitely have time, seeing as he’s letting Sherlock do most of the wedding planning and preparations! But there’s nothing, and the Stag Do seems to be censored even in Sherlock’s brain by John: “We'd just returned from a quiet, civilised evening in the pub when our latest client arrived at Baker Street”. Not even the show shows us this picture. ;) (promo X)
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As we all know, however, the wedding stretches over a whole TV episode, much of which is telling us what Sherlock relates in his Best Man speech; he gives fairly brief accounts of a series of cases, and he has John’s blog open on his iPhone as support: The Poison Giant (695 words), Happily Ever After (577), The Elephant in the Room (150 words; censored) and The Hollow Client (396). Two cases he actually solves on site, though: The Bloody Guardsman (496 words) and The Mayfly Man (286). We also see a certain amount of weirdness, where time is sometimes played fast forwards (the dinner), and Sherlock has a long session in his mind palace shaped as a court room.
And, as the last post before the blog stops updating, there’s Sherlock’s own hacker post with the title of the actual episode: The Sign of Three (312 words).
Just one more thing about the wedding: what’s important is not just the stuff that’s in the show - it’s also what’s not in the show: the actual wedding! And I suspect we have a clue about that here:
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We don’t see the actual wedding ceremony when John Hamish Watson makes his marital vows to Mary Elisabeth Morstan and puts a ring on her finger. Not even a flash of it! Sherlock does post some wedding photos in his one and only post on John’s blog, but none of them depicts the actual wedding ceremony. If the show would be ‘realistic’, wouldn’t this be just as important to show? Well, not if we’re inside Sherlock’s head, and the last thing in the world he wants to think about is precisely this moment...
So, do we have a general pattern here? Yes, in fact we do, I believe. The pattern is that when John describes a case at length and in detail on his blog, the corresponding episode in the TV show is also relatively lengthy and coherent. But when there are shorter case stories written, these events tend to merely get quick flashbacks in the show, if at all mentioned. And for ASiB, TEH and TSoT the main course of events gets split up into a series of different posts on the blog, while in the TV show they appear like a chain of events, full of suspiciously weird scenes.
My conclusion from this is that the show does vary according to the patterns on John’s blog. Which speaks in favour of the idea that we’re in Sherlock’s mind as he’s looking back on his days with John. It’s as if he adopts his brain activity to the blog pattern.
So, let’s move on to the next prediction:
Prediction 3. If Hypothesis #2 is correct, then there might be some tell-tale signs that we’re in Sherlock’s EMP, even if it’s not spelled out. 
The concept of Sherlock’s mind palace (MP) is explained by John to Dr Stapleton in THoB, at Baskerville’s military lab:
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I think his MP is pretty thoroughly shown in the scenes that follow John’s explanation, in a manner that we then can recognize in the rest of the show. The usual ‘advertising’ of when Sherlock is in his MP is that texts and images appear on our screen and we can hear sound effects, and all this seems to have nothing to do with in-show ‘reality’. The contours get blurry and (sometimes rainbow-like) light patterns appear. And the whole scene is spinning.  
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It’s just that sometimes these tell-tale signs occur separately even when it’s not obvious that Sherlock actually goes into his MP. The topic is treated in this meta, which has a lot of interesting contributions from different people in the additions. @gosherlocked pointed out, for example, that John and ‘Mary’s wedding photo was also a spinning scene - and that’s not supposed to be in MP, if the show is meant to depict ‘reality’, is it? And in fact, in this meta by @kateis-cakeis, we can see that there were spinning scenes already in ASiP - the very first episode.
I think @monikakrasnorada’s meta series “Hiding in plain sight” (8 parts in total) about the evolution of Sherlock’s mind palace is a very helpful tool for trying to sort out MP issues.  @monikakrasnorada points out, for example, that some scenes in TRF appear to be ‘stealth’ mind palace; it seems like we are indeed in Sherlock’s head, even though this has not been clearly ‘advertised’ by less subtle hints such as deduction text flowing over the filming etc.
In fact, if we start to count the number of occasions where rainbow-like, blurry lights are showing on-screen, or where text is flowing over the screen, I think we’ll have to stay here for quite a while. It’s just that we may have assumed a) that these are ‘just’ artistic expressions from the show-makers and b) that every rainbow is ‘only’ meant as a hint about gay feelings. But those readings don’t actually contradict the possibility that we might be inside Sherlock’s head, do they? 
But couldn’t we perhaps be in John’s MP (or mind cupboard or whatever)? Theoretically yes, but some reasoning and evidence contradicts this:
1. We have never seen any sign that John uses something similar to a MP – ever, neither does he ever mention this. On the other hand, there’s plenty of evidence that this is Sherlock’s method of using his brain, and John outright explains this in THoB.
2. There are scenes in the show that John couldn’t possibly know about. Like Sherlock solving cases in Tibet, New Dehli and Germany in MHR, when he was supposed to be dead. And Anderson being on his track. The blog post Many Happy Returns is about John stating that he has to put all these things about Sherlock behind him and move on. Dramatic crime cases in different parts of the world does not fit in with this. 
3. But the times when we see John alone are in situations where Sherlock could, with his MP and extraordinary brain power of imagination, deduce what John might have said and done. And unlike John, Sherlock has his friend’s thoughts and feelings right there on the blog, as a prompt to start his deductions and imaginations from.
So, I do believe that enough evidence is presented here for Prediction #3 to pass the test.
So, here is my fourth - and last - prediction for Hypothesis #2:
Prediction 4. If Hypothesis #2 is correct, then the TV show will have a more emotional, dramatic and exaggerated account of the events than the blog.
For one thing, there is certainly way more emotions swirling around in someone’s mind than what you can read from blog posts.You probably don’t want to publish the same amount of and intensity of feelings that you can register inside yourself. And now it has been established in S4 that Sherlock is actually very emotional (Mrs Hudson in TLD) and was an ‘emotional child’ when he was very young (Mycroft in TFP). We also know from the very first episode that Sherlock is a real Drama Queen, and he admits repeatedly in HLV and TAB that he never could resist a touch of Drama. 
But he would not tell John about his own feelings regarding the events, would he? It’s very rare to see Sherlock express feelings in the show - especially feelings regarding people. That’s precisely Sherlock’s biggest problem: he tries to repress Sentiment to a point where he appears to be a sociopath to others. So if we’re seeing the show from John’s POV he must have imagined Sherlock having a lot of emotions. Which would be inconsistent with his own judgments about Sherlock in the blog. 
Like I said in my meta about Hypothesis #1: many things in this show seem exaggerated in comparison to John’s blog. Things are not exactly romanticized, but rather dramatized and more ‘fanciful’, given a ‘splash of colour’, overly dramatic music etc. And some things seems so cut out of an action movie that I doubt they’re even supposed to be ‘real’.
Observations: Let’s look at some examples from the show of overly dramatic or exaggerated events that aren’t even mentioned in the blog - or if they are mentioned they’re not described.
I already pointed out in my last meta the rooftop hunt in ASiP as not consistent with John’s description in the blog.
TBB: While John is doing something annoyingly mundane - quarreling with a machine at the supermarket (just the kind of ordinary things Sherlock seems to avoid with all his might) - Sherlock is in a thrilling life-or-death fight in 221B. A masked criminal dressed entirely in robes and scarves is attacking an un-armed Sherlock with a sword. 
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Some dramatic, oriental music is playing all over these scenes - even the supermarket one. But Sherlock takes the attacker on single-handedly and knocks him out completely in a matter of seconds. Strangely, by the time John is back from the supermarket, the unconscious man is already gone and Sherlock pretends nothing has happened. Nonchalantly, he offers John his credit card and sends him off on a second shopping-round - now with money. Not a word to John about the fight; why? 
Why do I constantly get the impression that Sherlock has watched too many of John’s action movies? (and horror movies, judging by S4). ‘Bond night’ was something John introduced him to already about the time of TBB, according to the blog. And after that we get ASiB, with Bond references that are never mentioned on the blog: Bond Air and flight 007. The exaggerated treatment of the cruel CIA agent who was dropped more than once from a 2nd floor window and survived is also an example of weirdness (covered in my  Hypothesis #1 meta)
And there’s more in ASiB that isn’t on the blog; Moriarty blowing a raspberry at a text he just sent, as if he could see it flying away? Who has the most lively imagination - Jim or Sherlock? And the Flight of the Dead audience - a Boeing 747 full of dead people that never took off. 
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Not technically impossible, of course. But to keep so many dead bodies from their loved ones without any of those finding out? No media headlines about a huge number of mysteriously missing corpses? One single leak would have been enough to destroy the whole operation. A bit risky to come from Mycroft with the Brains, isn’t it?
The silly little things, like the café conversation between John and Mycroft; the fact that Mycroft says 'it would take Sherlock Holmes to fool me’ is suspicious. Why would Mycroft suddenly recognize his little brother as being his intellectual superior in any sense? Wishful thinking, Sherlock! ;) And then the event in Karachi; did Sherlock travel there without John even noticing? Why is the sequence transmitted with disturbances, like it was for a broadcasting, and who would send it and why? And the most ridiculous of them all, yet another case of ‘Sherlock the action-hero’: He manages to fight a whole gang of heavily armed terrorists single-handedly, with a sword? This doesn’t even seem like Sherlock’s memory - it’s pure fantasy!
Then there’s TRF and Moriarty’s weird visit at 221 B. Sherlock is not present at the final session of Jim’s trial, and yet is he reciting verbatim what’s being said by the judge. Perhaps not impossible but quite unlikely. When John calls Sherlock after the trial to say than Jim was found ‘not guilty’, Jim is already on his way to Baker street; Sherlock’s kettle has just boiled when he arrives (takes about 3 minutes). 
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Now we’re talking impossible, though; how did he manage to get there so quickly? A London ambulance, according to Sherlock, takes 8 minutes to arrive (HLV), but Moriarty is there in 3? And why such a hurry? He was in custody - didn’t he at least need to ‘check out’ first? Weird. And of course, TRF is not covered by the blog, since John didn’t want to talk about it. 
When Sherlock comes back in TEH, we get this irregular plot line again, with even more weirdness than ASiB. Sherlock being captured in Serbia might of course have happened, but what we see is a rather unlikely scenario, and absolutely none of it is mentioned in the blog. The weirdness consists in a) that the young Serbian guard is wearing an old Red Army uniform from WWII rather than a modern Serbian one, 
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b) that Mycroft would treat his tortured brother like a piece of trash, even when the torturer was gone, and c) that Sherlock got his back whipped, but shortly afterwards we see him being shaved lying on it. Is this Superman?
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And then he’s immediately fit to go play a joke on John. Yeah, right... 
A more possible scenario I could think of (and this is mere speculation, but I still think it fits) is that Sherlock was suffering emotionally; it was torture to him to know that John had ‘found someone’ and was going to move on. Because that’s how John described it on the blogpost Many Happy Returns, which maybe Sherlock could read from where he was. It’s only a month between the MHR blogpost and the TEH blogpost. Which means that it took a relatively short time for Sherlock to finish whatever he was doing and return to London, once he learned that John was moving on. Love is a vicious motivator, I guess...
So, I think we’ve gathered enough examples now to say that yes, Prediction #4 passes the test; there is a pattern of overly dramatized and exaggerated events on the show compared to the blog. 
All in all, after all these tests, I think that Hypothesis #2 holds water; The show as we know it up until John’s wedding might very well be Sherlock re-living their story together in his MP, after reading John’s blog.
Another thing that occurred to me is something I believe @kateis-cakeis has said (don’t remember where - sorry): In ASiP (but not in the Pilot) Sherlock says to Lestrade: “But they take the poison themselves; they chew, swallow the pills themselves. There are clear signs. Even you lot couldn’t miss  them”. But no-one has yet told him that the victims had eaten pills, rather than having been injected with the poison or swallowed some liquid. How could he know? Well, if he was recollecting his memories, after confronting the serial killer he would already know, wouldn’t he?
In one of the comments about the last installment, @sagestreet pointed out a series of things that speaks in favour of this hypothesis (for which he invented the name ‘possibly-raggedy theory’ :) ) One of them was that this idea combines the EMP theories with a late entering into Sherlock’s extended mind palace (HLV) with those of an early entering (Pilot EMP), and also explains some POV inconsistencies. Another point was this:
“And, for any viewer who might feel uncomfortable with the idea that we’ve been in Sherlock’s head all along, your theory would also provide a nice little consolation: We would have seen everything play out from Sherlock’s POV, but it would still be close enough to reality to not make people completely freak out. I mean, it would be Sherlock’s recollection (and, at times, overdramatization) of the actual events, which as you argue, quite convincingly, would only be recorded in the blog.  But it would still be ‘close enough’. (I can totally see Mofftiss doing something like this, by the way.)” 
Well, it sounds about right to me. Possibly I’m biassed. ;)
The next installment will be about Hypothesis #3: The weirder scenes from ASiB to TSoT means Sherlock is influenced by drugs.
Tagging some people who might be interested: @ebaeschnbliah @sarahthecoat @sagestreet @tjlcisthenewsexy @88thparallel @fellshish @darlingtonsubstitution @gosherlocked @mrskolesouniverse @sectoralheterochromiairidum @csi-baker-street-babes @meta-lock
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mermaidsirennikita · 7 years ago
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March 2018 Book Roundup
I read a lot of books this month!  And two of them were actually five star reads, which I would recommend for completely different reasons.  Read A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena if you want to be completely devastated.  Read To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo if you want a fantastic fairy tale romp with a good bit of blood.  But like, read both?  There was also one pretty big disappointment (that was still by no means a failure, this book just got hyped to hell) and a book I actually hated.  So like, a mixed bag!
The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton.  4/5.  In Orleans, beauty drives people--in part because they don’t naturally have it.  They’re born gray-skinned, red-eyed, and ugly; and this can only be changed with the help of a Belle, one of the lovely young women with the power to (temporarily) manipulate people’s physical appearances.  Camellia is making her Belle debut with her sisters--but only one can get the coveted spot of the queen’s favorite, working on the royal family.  Initially, Camellia is passed over; but when her winning sister mysteriously vacates the spot, she is thrust into the role of favorite and tasked with the seemingly impossible feat of healing the queen’s older daughter who’s been in a coma for years.  As it turns out, the fate of Orleans could very well hang in the balance.  On the surface, I thought that The Belles would be like a lot of those YA fantasy/dystopian books centered on looks that is basically a transparent riff on reality shows/21st century pop culture meets Harry Potter/The Hunger Games/What Have You.  In fact, the way the Belles work in their world is very much its own thing, and Clayton does a lovely job of weaving in these super sugary descriptions--obviously drawing from the French royal court of Marie Antoinette or Louis XIV--while never dropping this sense of mystery and dread.  Part of that mystery revolves around what the Belles really are, and to be honest I’m still not 100% sure about that--but this is the beginning of a series, and it’s incredibly intriguing.  Furthermore, the horror factor was much more present than I expected.  It’s a book that gets a lot out of the eeriness behind what people do for beauty--the only thing it needs to work on, for me, is fleshing out the characters a bit more.
Bygone Badass Broads by Mackenzi Lee.  3/5.  Lee expands on her popular Twitter series, telling the stories of women who have been scrubbed from history because they’re not white enough, not straight enough, not cis enough, or otherwise too transgressive in some other ways.  Basically, this is one of those books that lists dozens of rebellious or unusual women, and I tend to love that.  I wouldn’t say that this book is bad, but it also doesn’t rank super high in the subgenre.  Yes, Lee does a great job of digging up women that even I hadn’t heard of (and I say “even” because again, I read a lot of books like this) but the write-ups are so short (about three-ish pages on Nook each) that I didn’t get a lot out of them.  Which of course allows Lee to include more women, but I would have rather seen more about each woman and less women in general, especially as some were honestly--less impressive than others.  As important as lady publishers are, I feel like there’s less intrigue and yeah, importance overall to their stories compared to those about women like the Maribel sisters.  There were a couple of women included who were borderline legends as well, and I don’t know...  Maybe cut them in favor of the women who definitely did something?  Furthermore, there’s a huge imbalance in time periods, or at least it felt that way--I mean, it seemed like most of the ladies were from the nineteenth century and onward.  And that’s just a matter of personal taste--I’m more interested in history from ancient times to the eighteenth century.  Nineteenth century is where my interest begins to wane a bit!  But with that being said, it’s not a bad book and definitely a nice, quick read when you want to discover some interesting women written about in a chatty tone.
A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena.  5/5.  For most of her life, Zarin--an Indian immigrant to Saudi Arabia--has been viewed as a bad girl.  She’s seen that way by the mentally ill aunt who raised her, subjected to abuse in part simply because she’s a “bastard orphan”.  Her uncle sympathizes but won’t actually help.  The girls at school and their mothers see her as a flirt and a bad influence.  The only person who seems to give Zarin a chance is Porus, the boy who worships the ground she walks on, no matter how careless she is about his feelings.  Now Porus and Zarin are dead in a car accident, and few know what actually lead up to it; in bits and pieces, from multiple perspectives, we learn the reality of Zarin’s life, and why she was far more than “a girl like that”.  First off, this book is absolutely heartbreaking.  Though you know from page one that Zarin and Porus are dead, you still fall in love with them and there’s this sense of dread throughout as you get closer and closer to their deaths.  Zarin is one of the best YA protagonists I’ve read about in a while--flawed but incredibly human, easy to relate to, and terribly wounded in a way that isn’t over the top.  And Porus isn’t a knight in shining armor, he’s a romantic boy in love with a girl who may or may not want him back, and the book doesn’t hesitate to call him out for his white knight-ing while not abandoning his inherent goodness (which is implied to be present because he had the influence of a good father, whereas the other, less good boys in the book are following the examples of shitty fathers).  It was great to read a YA contemporary novel that was set somewhere other than America, or even Europe.  The author has a background similar to Zarin’s, so she’s not talking out of her ass here.  And there’s a deep sympathy for almost every character in the book--even when they’re horrible, they aren’t mindless villains.  There are cultural and religious elements at play, and none of them are good or bad without cause.  As a warning, rape and abuse (sexual and otherwise) are themes throughout the book, as is depression, suicidal ideation, and more.  It’s not an easy read.  But it should absolutely be read.
The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn.  4/5.  Anna is an agoraphobe and classic cinema fan, spending her days talking to fellow agoraphobes on a message board and her nights watching movies--and spying on her neighbors.  She hasn’t left her home in ten months, doesn’t live with her husband and daughter anymore, and seems beyond hope when her new neighbor Jane visits and breathes new life into her boring routine.  No sooner has Anna made a friend, however, than she sees something horrible happen in Jane’s home.  The issue?  Everyone--including the police--say that it didn’t happen.  This book is a clear Rear Window tribute, and acknowledges as much--in fact, Anna’s obsession with classic thrillers, along with her alcoholism and psych meds, probably contribute to her status as an unreliable narrator.  And I love an unreliable narrator.  Anna is flawed without losing my sympathy (another favorite character type) and while I can’t say that this is the most original thriller I’ve read, it’s entertaining and well-done and even a bit emotional.  Definitely satisfying.
Rosemarked by Livia Blackburne.  2/5.  Zivah is a healer, struck down by the same plague she’s been treating people for--the rose plague.  It will shorten her life but kill her slowly, isolating her in a little cottage (think shades of leprosy, but not as gross, of course). Dineas has survived the same plague, leaving him immune, and has escaped the Amparans who tortured him to the point of breaking.  His desire to liberate his people brings him to Zivah, who wants to make the remainder of her life mean something--and together the two unite on a mission to steal from the capital.  I think.  Honestly, this book was so boring that I wasn’t really absorbing much of the plot.  In theory, it’s such a cool idea: a slow-burn romance between a warrior and a dying healer that has them acting as spies.  But it’s told in alternating perspectives, and Dineas and Zivah are both so bland that I couldn’t really tell the difference between the two of them. There was a lot of summary without much urgency.  Also: the romance is clearly meant to be a big part of the story.  However, Dineas and Zivah lack chemistry, and this issue is only exacerbated by the fact that... for reasons... which I didn’t totally get... Dineas keeps having his memory taken away?  Willingly?  “For the mission”.  So Zivah is supposedly falling in love with amnesiac Dineas, who isn’t even really Dineas completely--or is he???  God, it made no sense.
Awayland by Ramona Ausubel.  3/5.  A collection of short stories capturing the feelings of dreaminess and wanderlust, often with a dose of magical realism.  This book is very difficult for me to describe, in part because it’s just kind of weird?  Definitely well-written if you like pretty, sometimes purple prose.  There were a few stories I really liked, some that simply baffled me, and in general I loved the sense of the different lands the author described.  However, one story made me particularly uncomfortable in the almost fetishistic way that it described Africa, and I can’t help but feel how... deliberately vague... it seems to be.  And I’m not sure what to think about that.
To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo.  5/5.  Princess Lira has seventeen hearts in her bedroom.  The daughter of the siren Sea Queen, Lira waits for the day that she takes her mother’s throne, building a fearsome reputation by taking the still-beating hearts of princes.  Prince Elian isn’t so dissimilar--however, he sails the seas killing sirens, and his reputation has made him a prize for the sirens.  After killing one of her mother’s subjects, Lira is punished with a human form.  The only way she can return to her true body--and remain her mother’s heir--is to get Elian’s heart--without any of her powers.  This Little Mermaid retelling is dark--focusing a good bit on the effects of abusive parenting--and bloody, starring a monster princess and a prince who isn’t so nice either.  Yes, it’s a story of two people who are mortal enemies hating each other until they maybe don’t so much.  Yes, it’s full of the various lands Elias and Lira visit and all of their royal families.  Yes, it was one of the most fun and engaging books I’ve read in a long time, and certainly one of the best fairy tale retellings I’ve read.  READ IT.
Blood Water Paint by Joy McCullough.  3/5.  A verse-driven retelling of Artemisia Gentileschi’s rape and its aftermath, interspersed with stories of the women who would inspire some of her most famous works.  Let me tell you this upfront: I feel that other people would enjoy this book much more than I did.  It’s written in a lovely way--the stories of Judith and Susanna are told by Artemisia’s mother, almost as bedtime stories, which is... a bit weird, but cool--and it is an incredibly important, if brutal, story.  It’s also, at face value, pretty accurate: Artemisia was the daughter of a mediocre painter who she learned from and surpassed; she was raped by Agostino Tassi after an initial romance; she was tortured in court to prove that she wasn’t lying about her rape.  The story does skirt over the fact that Artemisia wanted to marry her rapist, and his refusal to marry her drove her to seek justice--not the rape on its own.  And that bothered me, the lack of real confrontation of that fact.  Because it renders Artemisia an “imperfect victim”, and few rape survivors ARE perfect victims.  Certainly, few in the seventeenth century fit a twenty-first century idea of what rape survivors are like.  And that was a huge issue with the book in general.  Artemisia--and her mother, to an extent--thought and sounded like twenty-first century women.  Artemisia approached painting like a twenty-first century artist.  As someone who has studied Italian painting of this era, and how Italian women painters were treated and acted, it just... didn’t sit well for me.  Sure, the whole book was stylized, but you can have a stylized story without losing authenticity.  Again, this will probably be a fantastic book for people who don’t share my background with the story.  But it didn���t work for me.
The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw.  1/5.  Two centuries ago, the people of Sparrow drowned the three Swan sisters, all accused witches.  Ever since then, the sisters have returned every summer, possessing innocent girls until the solstice to seduce and drown boys.  Penny Talbot is familiar with the legend, and therefore hasn’t let herself get attached to the local boys.  Bo isn’t local--but he does have a connection to the sisters.  As they zero in on a boy she’s growing increasingly concerned for, Penny hunts for an answer to what the sisters really want and how she can stop them.  This was so bad.  So bad.  Bad because the idea was really cool--ghost witch sisters, possession, seduction, drowning--and there were some really interesting descriptions.  Basically, some of the bits that were just about the Swan sisters’ past were cool.  Some of them.  Until the end.  The rest was basically a hodge-podge of incredibly predictable “twists”, chemistry-less instalove, and a total inability to write people as people.  They made ridiculously stupid choices, experienced inexplicable emotional reactions, and in general just felt fake.  This should have been SO cool.  But it just made me want to write the opposite thing in order to prove a point.  (Also: it is set in OREGON.  Near Portland.  In our time, or at least a time where stereos are a thing.  I know that shady shit can happen anywhere and especially in small towns, but fuck.  Around 3 or more young boys from this town drown EVERY SUMMER, and not only is the town able to sustain itself but the FBI hasn’t gotten involved?  These all seem to be young white boys, in Oregon, just drowning.  Literally if this had been set in a made-up town in a made-up time, this would have been much more believable.)
The Merry Spinster by Mallory Ortzberg.  3/5.  A collection of short, spooky retellings of not only fairy tales, but classic children’s stories like “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  Overall, I’d recommend this book if you’re in the mood for something lyrical yet genuinely grim--but be warned, it can be a bit self-important sometimes.  A few of the creepier bits felt almost too self-aware; like, “this is scary because these are children’s characters acting really weird, oooh”.  Some of the stories I could have done without.  Standouts include “The Daughter Cells” (The Little Mermaid), “The Six Boy-Coffins” (The Six Swans, also the best story in the collection), “The Rabbit” (The Velveteen Rabbit) , and “Cast Your Bread Upon The Water” (Johnny Croy and His Mermaid Bride).  
The Radical Element ed. Jessica Spotswood.  2/5.  An anthology of short stories about young women who are “radical” in some what, from the nineteenth to twentieth century. Because really, for a historical fiction anthology, this is pretty limited in time periods and locations--it’s nineteenth and twentieth century America, barely stretching a century. Which is something I found irritating about the last anthology edited by Spotswood that I read (A Tyranny of Petticoats) but I liked that more because there were more stories for me to connect with.  Honestly, many of these read very young to me, so regardless of the writing quality I didn’t like most of them.  The only one that really stood out to me was Anna-Marie McLemore’s “Glamour”.  But this isn’t a bad anthology, in my opinion--I just think I’ve outgrown much of these stories.  
Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney.  2/5.  Amber is in a coma.  She can sense everything around her, hear everything people say, but can’t move her body, even to open her eyes.  She remembers nothing--only that her husband doesn’t love her anymore, and she believes that he had something to do with the “accident” that people refer to.  Alternating between Amber’s present in the coma, the days leading up to the accident, and a series of diary entries, the truth slowly unravels--or maybe.  Because sometimes Amber lies.  Basically, this had all of the plot elements it needed to have... But it moved at what felt like a glacial pace, and I couldn’t get into anything because the voices were dull.  Also: Amber has no control over her bodily functions while in a coma, and is sure to remind us of this every possible moment.  Furthermore, there is such a thing as too many twists, and to a degree, this book went there.
Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi.  3/5.  The land of Orisha was once full of magic--and Zelie’s mother was one of those who had it.  Until, that is, magic disappeared.  King Saran conducted a raid that killed all--or supposedly all--magic users, including Zelie’s mother.  Years later, Zelie and her brother Tzain embark on a quest to restore magic, aided by the runaway Princess Amari, and pursued by Amari’s brother Inan, who is determined to inherit his father’s ruthless legacy.  So...  This book.  I wanted so badly for it to be at least a four star read for me.  It’s been intensely hyped up, with the movie rights being sold ages ago.  Is it worth the hype?  For me, obviously not.  The hype oversold it.  Because Children of Blood and Bone is an enjoyable read with a ton of potential--but it’s also one of those books that was so clearly written by a debut author.  And I hate to say that, because I want to be a debut author someday; but there is a standard we need to hold ourselves and others to, and to me, this book needed some editing.  It was very overlong, with some parts dragging because I wanted to get back to the action.  The character beats sometimes felt rushed, comparatively--especially when it came to, you guessed it, the two central romances.  One of them was MADE FOR ME, but though I liked the pairing I wished that there had been more a realistic buildup.  The interesting thing about Children of Blood and Bone is that Adeyemi--who as I understand it is Nigerian-American, raised in America--based it off of West African culture.  As a white American, I obviously cannot speak to the authenticity of the usage of Yoruba, but I have seen a couple of Nigerian reviewers claim some issue with it, and that does make me wonder.  I do know that Adeyemi used, again, Yoruba in her book as well as several real place names.  This bugged me a bit.  Orisha is a fictional world--why refer to real African cities and a real language?  Obviously, most of the dialogue is in English, but Adeyemi could have referred to an imagined language as many fantasy novelists do.  To me, this all felt like... I don’t know, Jon Snow saying that he’d learned French from a tutor, or Gandalf saying that he was from Belfast.  It was a worldbuilding issue that knocked me out of the story.  For that matter, the fact that the catlike animals were referred to as “leonaires” (leopards), and so on... it seemed kind of weak.  There were a ton of very usual beats here--rebellious princess, young characters doomed from the first page, evil king who is evil because he is evil and had a dead love that is the sort of root of all of his problems...  It seems like I’m critiquing the fuck out of this book, but it had such a great idea and was so set up to be great that I don’t know.  I’m just disappointed, and it all could have been much better because the bones were there.  All that said, I’m probably going to read the second book because I was invested in the characters and do want to see what happens next.  But if the next book isn’t better, I probably won’t read beyond that.
In Search of Us by Ava Dellaira.  3/5.  Angie has never known her father; the biracial child of a white mother, she has never known the black side of her family, as her father apparently died before she was born along with his brother.  After discovering that her uncle is actually alive, Angie embarks on a trip to LA with her ex-boyfriend to seek the truth about her father.  In a parallel story, we see the journey of her mother, Marilyn, as a teenager being pushed by her mother to support them through a modeling career she doesn’t want.  After meeting James, Marilyn sees the opportunity for a new life--the question is how she’ll come to be the single mother of a daughter she keeps secrets from.  This book is really lovely and sweet in a lot of ways--the writing is quite pretty.  Marilyn’s story is, to be honest, much more compelling than Angie’s simply because she has a more dramatic arc.  Angie is essentially on a trip to uncover something you can probably guess fairly early on, and though her struggles are totally understandable, it is kind of difficult to watch her treat her very sweet ex like shit and kind of take advantage of his feelings.  Marilyn has this struggle of attempting to escape her mother’s impossible dreams, while engaging in genuinely sweet and sad romance.  The issue for me was that nobody quite as accessible as Marilyn, and while I appreciated the message the book was sending, it seemed a bit heavy-handed and abrupt towards the end.  Tacked on for points, to be frank.  Also, there was one sex scene that seemed... while not physically impossible, very unlikely.  But overall, if you want to read something sort of gentle and sad with good romance AND mother-daughter elements, I’d recommend it.
The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian.  3/5.  Flight attendant Cassie is something of a train wreck, using her career to facilitate a habit of heavy partying and one night stands.  In Dubai, she has a one-nighter with a man named Alex, only to wake up to find him brutally murdered in the bed they shared.  Unable to remember the entirety of the previous night’s events and terrified of what will happen to her, Cassie sneaks out of the hotel room and finds herself embroiled in an international scandal.  The book follows not only Cassie’s perspective, but that of the mysterious Elena, who seems to be keeping tabs on Cassie.  This is definitely a gripping book, and I sped through it.  Honestly, much of the interest had to do with just how odd and intriguing a flight attendant’s life can be, and it was certainly a great profession for the main character of a thriller--Cassie was constantly jet-setting.  The issue was that she was also a total idiot, to the point that sometimes her stupidity felt less like a character trait and more like a plot device.  But I could have gotten over that.  What bumped this down from a 4 to a 3-star rating was the ending--the big twist wasn’t something I called, but it also wasn’t very thrilling.  You pretty much knew what was going on before the end.  And of course, everything was tied up in a very... borderline sexist way?  But it’s not the worst thriller I’ve read; I mean, it wasn’t even the worst one I read this month.
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theoreticalli · 4 years ago
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some things that I still think about just. all the time
-most of the weird stuff in the hospital in 12 is explainable by like. the weird eye/desolation fight happening but how the hell did EITHER of them make everyone just get up and leave? what the hell was that??
-14 is literally just. those god awful the real cost ads that I used to obsess over in my head whenever I was driving late for some reason
-the rat?? the hopworth rat?? what the fuck Jared
-I feel like we've all collectively blocked out those dolls from 24 because of how awful they were, I was legitimately afraid I was going to turn around and find one behind me
-the whistling in 31. fuck that
-the guy in 37 who lost literally everything after disrupting the weird ritual circle until he gave up his son so he wouldn't die before dying himself? that got me almost as bad as that fucking pot, I hate the desolation so much
-OH AND THEY'RE BACK TO BACK! JESUS, JONATHAN
-the cannibal trail guide and the woman's dead husband telling her to eat him for days. did Not like that. also Jonny stop setting statements near places I've lived challenge
-yeah so I've literally blocked out all the descriptions in 60 but it's like... the thing? in the mirror? anyways worst nightmare doesn't bear thinking about again
-the book of the dead is easily the scariest Leitner it is actually horrifying like. it starts bad and can only go downhill from there and that's some true horror baby! the only thing you can change is for the objective worse!
-whatever it's implied Nikola did to the department store manager in 83, I did not like that at all and I refuse to think about it for longer than it will take me to finish this sentence. same goes for the end of the worker of clay ep, NOT a fan. that is NOT art you pretentious bastards
-I already said this in replies, but don't worry, op, Gertrude specifically dismembered Jan Kilbride so he wouldn't have to be alive in the buried, because obviously that's better!
-that one blistering indictment of true crime people which I both find super funny and also?? this lady just comes in like "yes I am in the process of hunting my friends for sport may I make a statement about it before I get back to it"
-Anya Villette ending up in a different place or something and all record of her being erased from this universe?? I hate that!! I literally hate that so much!!!
-wait actually I just reread her wiki page and it's like. heavily implied she was pulled into the tma verse from our own world and I don't know if that's worse or not
-the fact that I don't know whether the zombie statement was an internal or external reality haunts me to this day
-um? so Simon just has a goddamn... vast monster thing that helped him fuck up the cable car? what the ACTUAL hell was up with that I'm so scared of it every time I'm somewhere high up and I live on the 14th floor
-hey what were the things outside that one guy's alternate-dimension apartment? like... what were those?
-the amusement park aka part 2 of Jonny stop setting statements in places I've been!! England is your playground you don't gotta drag the rest of us into it!! but he's right that place has BIG extinction vibes
-okay I've saved this one for last but FUCK the things in the dark tunnel in 63. FUCK them. literally what the fuck? the flickering flashlight showing shadows with nothing casting them and then the shadow of her brother's decapitated head and her just screaming and screaming... that shit is almost as bad as lost johns' in my opinion
stuff in tma that isnt outright nightmare-inducingly scary but is just odd enough to legitimately unsettle me
-laura popham absolutely definitely getting her sister killed in 15 and either not knowing or straight up lying about it in her statement
-the fact that harriet lee exploded into worms but timothy hodge became a flesh hive and we just….never figure out what the difference between them was that facilitated that
-the fact that the corruption infected nicole baxter in 36 THROUGH her gloves and she’s implied to have ended up getting her hand amputated literally this has not left my head since i realized it
-the vase that stole andre ramao’s husband in 38 i know we joke about it but it was seriously so frightening when jon started talking about his fucking halfway blank marriage license i wanted to cry
-THE BURIED AVATAR IN 50 THAT LIKE TRAPPED SOMEONE IN A CONCRETE WALL SO JUST THE TIPS OF HIS FINGERS WERE STICKING OUT AUGUGHHHH?????
-the one very specific part of 55 where jordan’s trying to get rid of the wasp nest and he talks about it screaming and like…reaching out to get him
-the bit in 59 where ronald sinclair is describing raymond fielding like sitting in a chair and he stands up and a bunch of fucking live spiders fall out of the inside of his jacket i would genuinely just die on the spot if i saw that
-the whole scene in 69 of that guy cracking annabelle’s head on the windowsill and her skull caving in to reveal just. fucking cobwebs where her brain should be
-literally all of 74 but especially the way that michael didn’t even seem to be doing anything. he wasn’t the one making lydia stay up he was just there to make fun of her while she destroyed herself
-the fact that the not-mom in 77 was nicer than the girl’s real mom. jesus
-jan kilbride being implied to still be alive in the buried after gertrude threw him in there to stop its ritual (what the fuck. what the fuck. no words can describe how much this unnerves me)
-106 just as an episode was like…..one of the more frightening ones to me (post-statement aside bc that just makes me murderous) but i think it mostly has to do with lydia nicholas’ voice acting. she has a perfect voice for jan kilbride’s breakdown narration 
-that lady in 114 that went into the basement of hill top road and got spat out in a parallel universe where nobody knew her
-again. the end of 127 where jonathan fanshawe cuts open albrecht von closen and he’s just fucking full of eyeballs is something we do NOT talk about enough
-not even the actual content of 144 but just the way the statement starts like normal just some guy talking and just slowly devolves into a frantic deranged apocalypse-predicting rant is so FUCKING creepy. something about him not even needing his headphones to hear the numbers station by the end does NOT sit right with me
-i talked about this a few days ago but the reveal of basira trying so hard to save callum brodie and then him just ending up as an avatar anyway makes me want to literally attack people
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sanjuno · 6 years ago
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Could you please list out the various au!ideas you have at some point? I really want to find a certain one every now and then but then have trouble remembering what you called it
You asked for this…
An incomplete AU Master List for Sanjuno’s Ficwork:
1.    ATTACK ON TITAN
1.1.  Coordinates T by H: Eren’s coordinatorabilities allow him to metaphysically bond with other humans, thereby givingeveryone in the group the ability to psychically communicate with the rest andalso boosting everyone’s healing ability exponentially to be on par with theTitan Shifters. Chaptered, WIP
2.    BLEACH
2.1. What Happens on Vacation: Crossoverwith YYH – turns out that Kurosaki Misaki was a senior ferry girl on sabbatical(which translates as living a mortal life unaware of her true nature) and shewas late returning to work due to being trapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigoand Uryuu are very confused when their “cousin” Kazuma shows up to introducehis new bride to the family. Koenma is just really pissed off by all the paperworkhe needs to deal with while cleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. WIP
3.    CODEGEASS
3.1.  A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover withGOT – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers arereincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission todrive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to thepoint that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CCshows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s ontosomething with the “drinking to forget” idea. Meta
3.2.  Abandon Thyself: Post-Zero RequiemSuzaku travels back in time to the scene in the Shinjuku Ghettos when the truckexplodes. Given that the people closest to him haven’t actually spoken to Suzakuin years, the origins of Suzaku’s obvious mental instability is hilariouslymisattributed by various outside PoVs. So when Suzaku hits his knees in frontof Lelouch, swearing eternal devotion and vowing to make Lelouch the next emperornobody panics. (They should really reconsider panicking.) Drabbles, WIP
3.3.  The Sun Also Rises: At the moment ofhis death in the Zero Requiem, Lelouch travels back in time to his childhoodbody. With only a week to go before Marianne is “assassinated by terrorists”Lelouch sets out to rearrange the board in a way none of the other players willsee coming until it’s far too late. Lelouch has been given a second chance tomake things right, and Lelouch wouldn’t be Lelouch if he didn’t plan big. Thistime around, Lelouch plans for his victory to be a bit more obvious. Chaptered, WIP
4.    DCU
4.1.  Time Enough: Terry McGinnis, his littlebrother Matt, and their dogs are the only members of their timeline to survivebecause Bruce Wayne was too old to see any more of his sons die in front of him.So they all got knocked out, shoved into an escape capsule, and ejected fromthe Batman Beyond timeline before it crumbles. Said time pod crashes into themiddle of a Red Hood versus Match throw down, and Terry’s Wayne-inheritedcharisma is so powerful it allows him to banter his way into good graces ofboth villains. Jason drags them all off to his lair because every single memberof the Batfam hoards orphans. Chaptered, WIP
5.    DRAGON BALL
5.1.  Saiyajin Pride: Alien biology has alarger impact on characterization that it does in canon. Mirai comes back to themain timeline live in sin with Videl and Gohan. Vegeta and Goku deal with someshit that comes from being the last full-blooded members of their species. Thenjust as things are settling down… Garlic is an idiot who thinks up a loopholein the “can’t wish people dead” rule and wishes Goku and Vegeta’s familiesstraight out of existence and they end up in an entirely different reality. Theonly upside is that Vegeta finally gets to kill Frieza. Chaptered, WIP
6.    FAIRY TAIL
6.1.  Flight Of Dragons: Future!Lucy missesher target and ends up landing further back in time, during the same year Natsuand the rest of the Dragon Slayer kids were brought to when they were pulledforward in time.  Fairy Tail luckkicks in, and future!Lucy runs into child!Laxus as he escapes from his fatherafter being fed the Lightning Dragon Lacrima. Laxus is handed a Prophecy andruns with it. Children have never needed Fairy Tales to tell them that Dragonsexist, but they certainly help. Chaptered,WIP
6.2.  My Heart Overflows: Juvia and Grey havefinally started dating, but the Fairy Tail Mage Guild has some interestingtraditions when it comes to proving the validity of a romantic relationship. Oneshot - Complete
7.    FAMILIAR OF ZERO
7.1.  A Velvet Glove: Crossover with TMNT –Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar. Since all of his brothers aredead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most of this “lifelong bond of magicand spirit” and adopts Louise as his little sister. Halgenkia is not preparedfor a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Valliere with ninja training. Henrietta isprobably far too gleeful over making her best friend her Spymaster, but it’snot like anyone knows enough about what they’re doing to stop her. Reconquistagets exposed and smashed, and Wardes really should have respected his fiancéemore. Chaptered, WIP
8.    FINAL FANTASY VII
8.1.  A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover withGOT – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated asthe spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryenused to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently. Meta
8.2.  A Feather’s Weight: Crossover withNaruto – Kakashi and Obito, along with their respective subordinates, arereincarnated in Wutai, and are thus in position to undermine a lot of Hojo’splans simply by being themselves. Wutai still loses, but by a much smallermargin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too late that Wutai’s “concession” was atrap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction for Sephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt,and nobody knows who assassinated President Shinra. WIP
8.3.  Antiviral: Woden and Gaia conspire tocreate antibodies to fight off Jenova’s infection. Cid and Vincent end upbearing the brunt of this decision, get roofied by Divine Intervention, andalso end up the Gaian equivalent of demonic werewolves. Also the Planet istransforming all the SOLDIERS into werewolves too, yes, even the dead ones. Chaptered, WIP
8.4.  For Love Of: Cid Highwind crashes theTiny Bronco into Lucrecia’s cave, does the metaphysical equivalent of tearingher heart out and eating it to absorb her power, and them proceeds to adoptGeneral Sephiroth as his son because it’s not like anyone can stop him. CidHighwind does what he wants. Sephiroth does what Mother wants. SHIN-RA soonregrets everything because Cid Highwind is a hell of a lot better at rewritingthe social order than Avalanche is. Chaptered,WIP
8.5.  Hindsight is 20-20: CHAOS decides torewrite time because they have a massive crush on Cid and they don’t want himto die. CHAOS fumbles the landing and Cid ends up in the body of some weirdLucrecia/Ancient-Cetra-Who-Was-Jenova’s-Host Clone and ends up giving birth toSephiroth. Things only get worse from there. Chaptered, WIP
8.6.  Like it Rough: Cid likes Vincent a lotand also has a bit of a kink for scars. Cid walks in on Vincent naked, runsaway to hide his raging boner, and Vincent ends up chasing Cid around theairship until he can pin his friend down in the Captain’s bunk because thedemons are all drunk on the pheromones. Oneshot- Complete
8.7.  Names of Power: Jenova’s taintgetting mixed into the Lifestream has far-reaching consequences, and Avalanchegets tapped to handle the fallout whither they like it or not. WIP
8.7.1.    SmallPackages: The Lifestream meddles in Avalanches lives even after the Planethas been saved. There are clones and ancient powers better off left alone butit’s not like Avalanche ever gets a say in the matter.
8.7.2.    HistoryInverted: Jenova isn’t all the way gone and the Planet really doesn’t careif Humanity survives or not as long as the infection is burned away. Aerithshoves the spirits of Avalanche and their children into a new timeline becauseshe doesn’t want to watch their souls get shredded. Avalanche proceeds to moseyalong and wreak havoc in the way only they can manage.
8.8.  To Earn the Sky: Echidna, Mother ofMonsters and Heroes, and Jenova, the Calamity From the Skies, are at war. Hojomakes a very big mistake when he uses the Blood of Echidna’s Children in hisRevenant Project. Cid Highwind is a good son, and his Mother wants to meet hernew Grandchildren.
9.    FINAL FANTASY XV
9.1.  A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive andCrownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, but CorLeonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something to fearin Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it will be avery different Northern Kingdom that he finds there.
10. GAME OF THRONES
10.1.              CrossoverFixits to Help Westeros be Less Miserably Doomed: Various casts fromother series end up reborn in Westeros and use knowledge from their previouslives to change the Game. Meta
10.1.1. An Assemblage of Ice and Fire:Crossover with MCU – Team Iron Man focus, since Tony is reincarnated as NedStark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter is coming. Tony’s genius intellect,knowledge of politics and economics, experience with magic and alternaterealities, and the fact that Extremis carried over through his reincarnationand adapted to work with First Man magic means that the Stark siblings who goto the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothing like the canon versions. Rhaegar getshis Stark bride, and he proceeds to regret it for the rest of his life.
10.1.2. A Balance of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith SW – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learners and Padme (who got taken inAnakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrell siblings. They proceed to followthe Will of the Force and prepare the Seven Kingdoms to win against the LongNight.
10.1.3. A Code of Ice and Fire: Crossover withCG – Lelouch, his two younger siblings, and Lelouch’s most loyal followers arereincarnated into Westeros. Lelouch proceeds to make it his lifelong mission todrive Cersei into frothing fits and strengthens the Baratheon dynasty to thepoint that even Tywin is impressed by his grandson’s machinations. Then CCshows up with dragons and Ned Stark starts to think that maybe Robert’s ontosomething with the “drinking to forget” thing.
10.1.4. A Dirge of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVII – Several members of Avalanche and the Elite Soldiers are reincarnated asthe spares and bastards of Westeros’ Great Houses. Given that Rhaenys Targaryenused to be Cid Highwind, the Sack of King’s Landing goes very differently.
10.1.5. A Dying Will of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith KHR – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and all those bonded to them arereincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus is born as Robert’s eldesttrueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all it takes is one look atthe Wall to know that there is something to fear on the other side. Tsuna isbusy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between reciting odes to his amazingbetrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told you Xanxus would make thebetter Heir.”
10.1.6. A Light of Ice and Fire: Crossover withFFVX – Noctis, his Retinue, and the loyal members of the Kingsglaive andCrownsguard are reincarnated into Westeros. Jorah Mormont is Cor Leonis, butCor Leonis is not Jorah Mormont, and so the Northern Forces are something tofear in Robert’s Rebellion. By the time King Robert visits Winterfell, it willbe a very different Northern Kingdom that he finds there.
10.1.7. A Space Between Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith Naruto WCE – The Konoha Founders and their siblings are reincarnated asStarks and Baratheons and manage to save the Realms of Men while resolvingtheir many and varied issues with one another.
10.1.8. A Transformation of Ice and Fire: Crossoverwith TFG1 – Most of the Cybertronians who died during Unicron’s Awakening endup reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) and Direwolves (Autobots). The sapience ofthe animals causes significant changes to outcome of several key canon events.
10.2.             SingingIn A Different Key: SI is reborn as Jon Snow, who then precedes toMachiavelli the fuck out of the North in preparation for the coming Long Nightand also to screw over the Lannisters. Because fuck the Lannisters. WIP
10.3.              Wolf AtThe Door: When Ice takes the head of Eddard Stark, Valeryian magic mixeswith the Blood of the First Men. It’s wild, uncontrolled, and Ned ends up as afour year old in Winterfell’s Godswood, staring at his reflection in the water.Eddara Stark, second-born child and first-born daughter of Rikard and LyarraStark looks back up at him. Ned, fully believing that this is his punishmentfor failing his family and best friend the first time around, decides to fixthe Realm by fulfilling the Pact of Fire and Ice. The thing about being a womanis that no one ever expects you to be a threat, not even other women. The thingabout being the Quiet Wolf is that everyone overlooks you until the moment yourteeth sink into their throat. Meta inDevelopment
11. GetBackers
12. GIRL GENIUS
12.1.              The OtherSide of the River: One of the Jagermonsters manages to catch wind ofLucrecia’s plans and absconds with Klaus Barry during the confusion caused by thefirst explosion. This understandably causes some disruption in everyones planswhen KB and his nanny run into Agatha during her time with the Circus. WIP
12.2.              ThreefoldPath: Agatha, Gil, and Tarvek get their brains booted back in time duringthe si vales valeo and decided to run away and join the circus until they’reold enough to take over the world properly. WIP
13. GundamWing
14. HARRY POTTER
14.1.              Black AsHis Name: Sirius Back lives! Because the Veil dumps his mind-and-soul intothe empty body of his younger self in a world where Walburga Black lost it onher eldest son much earlier in life and Sirius was tortured until he was leftbrain-dead. Arcturus Black is pissed off over the treatment of one of his Heirsand since Sirius’ magic is still intact, names Sirius the Heir to House Blackand proceeds to hold the Heirship over everybody’s heads for spite for as longas Sirius continues to “live”. Everyone in the Black Family is very surprisedwhen the annual shaming ritual disguised as Sirius’ birthday party is crashed. Bynone other than the birthday boy himself. Sirius rolls with it and becomes aTrue Black in the most Marauder manner possible. WIP
14.2.              BlackHunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with KHR – Regulus and Sirius both endup dumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on the Master’s behalf.Things start to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus isactually Skull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much.WIP
15. HOMESTUCK
15.1.              A Jump ToThe Left Behind: Post game reality has all the races living in a GalacticRepublic, and the Troll Ancestors and Human Guardians all need to team up inorder to solve the mystery of the planetoid-sized meteor that just barreledinto the middle of their busiest spacelane because their names are written allover it. In the process of exploring the meteor they accidently wake up thePlayers and Sprites. Chaos ensues. Meta
15.2.              Pandora’sFinal Gift: A mermaid AU where a Deep Old One gives Eridan (and onlyEridan) the memories of his Game Player Self as a lark. Eridan hits the levelcap for his current reality, freaks out, saves Sollux’s life, and then abscondsas far away from the center of the Empire as he can get. Meta
16. InuYasha
17. KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN
17.1.              A DyingWill of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Tri-Ni-Sette holders and allthose bonded to them are reincarnated into Westeros Noble Houses. Xanxus isborn as Robert’s eldest trueborn son and Heir to the Iron Throne, and so all ittakes is one look at the Wall to know that there is something to fear on theother side. Tsuna is busy swooning over Arya’s muscles but in-between recitingodes to his amazing betrothed he takes time to tell Nono’s ghost “I told youXanxus would make the better Heir.”
17.2.            �� BlackHunt Under Bloody Skies: Crossover with HP – Regulus and Sirius both end updumped into KHR because Death owes them a favour on the Master’s behalf. Thingsstart to get weird after the Arcobaleno curse is broken. Regulus is actuallySkull and Sirius is his Sky and they confuse the entire Mafia so much. WIP
17.3.              BurningSalt Water: Crossover with OP – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jacksonduring the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways andhe ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the executionXanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace setsthe Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP
17.4.              Cat’sPaws: Uri has seen enough Time Travel bullshit to know how it works, and sowhen Hayato gets himself killed she grabs his soul and flings herself backwardsin time because fuck the timeline this is her human and he’s not allowed toabandon her again. The other Box Animals think it’s a great idea and do thesame with their humans, and this results in the kind of alternate timeline thatgives Byakuran a headache. In other words, Uri creates a timeline where FlameActives are a lot more Alien than they used to be and now everyone thinksYoukai and other myths are real. Chapters,WIP
17.5.              FireShall Waken: All of Nono’s sons are still alive when the Cradle Affair happensand it results in the entire 10th Generation gathering up theirHarmonies, rolling Xanxus into a blanket burrito, and taking off to Japan underassumed names where they proceed to spend the next eight years coddling Tsunaand being spoiled rotten by Nana in return. Meta
17.6.              GremlinsDella Varia: Mammon’s experiments with the Curse have had some odd sideeffects on the Varia. It all comes out during the Ring Battles and the otherArcobaleno are Judging You, Viper. Drabbles
17.7.              Karma,and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with Naruto. Legendary Ninjafrom the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt allthe Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer.
17.7.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito areninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and someminor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be inClans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long beforethe child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obitorepents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life.Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Chaptered WIP
17.7.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothersare reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno cursebeing put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start huntingfor the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimoriduring Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take wellto this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madarahunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly.Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. Oneshots, WIP
17.7.2.1.     KarmicJustice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigatingthe Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target forchild stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madaraand Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. WIP
17.7.2.2.     KarmicJustice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting inItaly for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madarainstantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, andTsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches100-year-vengance-plot levels of overprotective big brother. WIP
17.8.              Music ofthe Spheres: Crossover with SM – Post Stars Usagi and Post Vongola InheritanceTsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after the Vongola’senemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protective custody byher Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say she doesn’t need it.Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all the men, and accidentlythrow Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in the same room she is. WIP
17.9.              Overlookingthe Obvious: They say that to truly know someone you need to walk a mile intheir shoes. The adage is proven true rather dramatically when amisappropriated Possession Bullet ends up switching Gokudera and Hibari intoeach other’s bodies. Oneshot
17.10.          Reach ForThe Sky: Kamen Rider Sora and his team are the protectors of Namimoriagainst the invasion of Youma from the dark dimension. Reborn shows up to tutorthe last remaining Vongola Heir and ends up in the middle of a longstandingbattle against the Forces of Evil. Does the World Greatest Hitman have what ittakes to guide the mysterious masked Rider towards his true strength? Staytuned to find out! Oneshots, WIP
17.11.          When theNightingale Sings: Sky Flames are Dragons, and when a Sky is Sealed theyturn into True Dragons once said Seal breaks. Tsuna has the Best TreasuresEver. Reborn is confused but willing to roll with it. Hayato needs to do allthe research. Drabbles, WIP
17.12.          Where theSky Meets the Sea: Crossover with OP – The ASL Trio are reborn as SawadaTsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remembereverything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despitelacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsudoes keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more thanone son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nononever meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everythingis now on fire. Drabbles, WIP
17.13.           
18. KyouKara Maoh
19. MARVEL
19.1.              AnAssemblage of Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Team Iron Man focus, sinceTony is reincarnated as Ned Stark. Starks are made of Iron, and Winter iscoming. Tony’s genius intellect, knowledge of politics and economics,experience with magic and alternate realities, and the fact that Extremiscarried over through his reincarnation and adapted to work with First Man magicmeans that the Stark siblings who go to the Tourney of Harrenhal are nothinglike the canon versions. Rhaegar gets his Stark bride, and he proceeds toregret it for the rest of his life. Meta
19.2.              IronLaced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai indisguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council ofShadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when theytook over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony isactually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked inhis dragon form. WIP
19.3.              Miles ToGo: Post-MCU Civil War almost-Time Travel where Tony grieves so hard hesends an Extremis injector capsule to the year before the Winter Soldier murderedhis parents. Said capsule lands in front of a wasted 15-year-old Tony in theaftermath of a frat party. Cue the face hugger scene. Tony gets an Extremisupgrade about 30 years ahead of schedule and it’s the only reason he survivesthe memory download without his brain turning into mush. WIP
19.4.              Perception:Instead of killing Scott in X3, Dark Phoenix instead fixes the brain damagethat prevented him from controlling his optic blasts and then shunts him troughtime an space. Scott wakes up 18-years-old in Stryker’s lab and proceeds tohijack Wolverine’s rampage so that they can both escape. James Howlett isimpressed, and Cyclops hates everything but especially time travel because itruins all his fallback plans. WIP
20. NARUTO
20.1.              AFeather’s Weight: Crossover with FFVII – Kakashi and Obito, along withtheir respective subordinates, are reincarnated in Wutai, and are thus inposition to undermine a lot of Hojo’s plans simply by being themselves. Wutaistill loses, but by a much smaller margin, and SHIN-RA realizes much too latethat Wutai’s “concession” was a trap. Kakashi is a big shiny distraction forSephiroth, the SOLDIERS revolt, and nobody knows who assassinated PresidentShinra. WIP
20.2.              A SpaceBetween Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – The Konoha Founders and theirsiblings are reincarnated as Starks and Baratheons and manage to save theRealms of Men while resolving their many and varied issues with one another.
20.3.              AWidening Gyre: Rin survives the Chidori and her existence is now an S-classsecret. Said S-class secret distracts Obito on his way to ambush Kushina’slabour and several different chase scenes take place. They all end up in theROOT base made from one of Tobirama’s old labs and instead of Kyuubi gettingloose Team Ro, the Fourth Hokage’s team of bodyguards, Obito, Anko, and all ofROOT plus Danzo himself get dumped into the Warring Clans Era. Obito killsDanzo in a panic when he realizes that taking the Bijuu means killing Rin,Kakashi sacrifices himself again, and there is a lot more running around. Kakashisuborns ROOT en masse, Obito is stupidly overpowered and homicidal but it’sokay because Kakashi is playing damsel in distress and distracting him. TheSenju and the Uchiha are all really confused by these kids, there are far toomany mistaken identities, and Konoha gets founded much earlier than in canon. Meta
20.4.              Accordingto Custom: Hashirama and Madara should not be left unsupervised (that’s whyMito and Touka tend to lurk nearby when they have tea together) because itcauses them to get Brilliant Ideas. This time they decide to make friends withone another’s little brothers. How Madara went from being “nice” to Tobirama tocourting the oblivious younger Senju is still something of a mystery, but thereare several bets riding on when Tobirama is going to realize what’s going on. Long Oneshots, WIP
20.5.              Aroundthe River Bend: Tobirama feels Itama die and runs to the river to mourn.Quite predictably he meets Madara there, and the course of History changes. Oneshot
20.6.              Coloursand Promises: Set a decade after the Evil has been defeated and lifereturned to normal, Tobirama (once the magical superhero Dragon) is stillliving with the side effects of sacrificing everything to save the world whilehe was still a teenager. Notes on a piano, and a familiar voice singing afamiliar song. Tobirama finds Madara (once the magical superhero Phoenix) andfinally gets to enjoy his victory. Love can be killed, but it never dies, onlyever taking on new shapes as we move on with our lives. Drabbles, WIP
20.7.              Heavy asthe Mountain: Team 7 is loosing the fight against Kaguya, but Obito andKakashi perform a last minute sacrifice that means the kids survive. It alsocauses them all to be de-aged by over a decade and thrown back in time to theWarring Clans Era. Kakashi and Obito die, Team 7 gets adopted bypresumably-Hatake Kanna, then a few years later they run into Uchiha Izuna andit all descends into chaos. (Team 7 takes total advantage of everything to gettheir revenge on Zetsu and maybe fix some of Konoha’s longstanding issues at thesame time.) WIP
20.8.              InKonoha We Dance: The Uchiha Clan has a tradition of belly dancing andit fixes everything that was wrong with Konoha in canon. Oneshots
20.8.1. O-Bon Appetite: Thanks to his dancetraining Izuna manages the core control to dodge Tobirama’s sword enough toavoid a fatal wound and Konoha starts off on more equal footing. Tobirama thenwalks into a traditional Uchiha celebration and his brain shuts off.
20.8.2. Hot Like Burning: Kushina drags Minatoto the Uchiha Police Office Party so she can make time with Mikoto and there isso much skin, Minato was not emotionally prepared for this. Fugaku takesadvantage of the Yondaime’s weakness as only an Uchiha can and the glorious‘ship FuMiKuMi sets sail.
20.8.3. Got This Fire Burning: Overnight shiftsat the Mission Desk gets boring. Konoha ninja like to dance, because dancingisn’t boring. Kakashi shows them all how it’s done when a member of Team 7 hitsit.
20.9.              Karma,and the Repercussions Thereof: Crossover with KHR – Legendary Ninjafrom the Elemental Countries get reincarnated into KHR and proceed to adopt allthe Magic Rainbow Fire Children. Nono and Iemitsu suffer.
20.9.1. Karmic Balance: Kakashi and Obito areninja married from the very start because of metaphysical bonding and someminor haunting during their last lives. Between Ninshu Shinobi needing to be inClans and Flame Actives needing to be in Harmonies it does not take long beforethe child stealing begins. Gokudera Kakashi is the best wife and Dokuro Obitorepents, repeatedly and often, while also having the time of his second life.Tsuna loves his Kakashi-sensei and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP
20.9.2. Karmic Justice: Madara and his brothersare reborn as Fon’s nephews and do not take kindly to the Arcobaleno cursebeing put on one of their relatives. The Hibari Clan proceeds to start huntingfor the Man in the Iron Man en mass. Madara and his brothers hit Namimoriduring Nono’s visit and witness the sealing of Tsunayoshi. They don’t take wellto this either. Things go worse for Tsuna than they do in canon and Madarahunts down Tobirama because he needs the resurrection to be done perfectly.Tsuna loves his Madara-shishou and wants to be just like him when he grows up. WIP
20.9.2.1.     KarmicJustice – Hubris: Madara comes across Xanxus in the ice while investigatingthe Vongola and despite Xanxus being a bit older than the usual target forchild stealing decides to steal him anyway. After resurrecting Tsuna, Madaraand Tobirama’s next project is defrosting Xanxus. WIP
20.9.2.2.     KarmicJustice – Providence: Madara finds Xanxus on the streets while hunting inItaly for the Man in the Iron Mask. Wrath Flame calls to Wrath Flame and Madarainstantly adopts the delightfully savage little boy. Then Namimori happens, andTsuna’s seal gets him temporarily killed, and Xanxus reaches 100-year-Xanatos-Gambit-vengance-plotlevels of overprotective big brother. WIP
20.10.          Look theInnocent Flower: Orochimaru gets the Hat instead of Minato because insteadof working for Danzo he creates his Baby-no-Jutsu (the same one that producedRogu and Mitsuki) and that’s how Orochimaru accidently turns Tenzo into theOrochimaru-and-Tsunade lovechild while field testing some gene-splicingadoption techniques. Sarutobi is so delighted by all the babies he namesOrochimaru his successor without any further debate. Konoha proceeds to becomea somewhat androgynous, gender-fluid utopia full off affectionate, friendlypeople who only want you for your body. Orochimaru refuses to allow hypocrisyin his Konoha and loyalty to ones comrades is not only encouraged, it’senforced. Meta
20.11.          Negotiationis an Artform: Remix of The Art of Negotiation by Kage88 – Konoha’sFounders take a trip to Uzushio and the Uzumaki are annoyingly persistent intheir attentions, even when said attentions are unwanted. Tobirama’s politicalsavvy is not to be underestimated, and Tobirama’s just as ridiculouslyoverprotective of his loved ones as his relatives are of him. Bitchy piningresolves into dating, and the only reason Tobirama lets Hashirama get away withbetting on his love life is because Hashirama was the only one who had faith inTobirama making the first move. Oneshot -Complete
20.12.          Red inHand and Claw: Madara has Raptor Summons. This fact is significantly moreterrifying than anyone outside of the Uchiha Clan is really aware of. Oneshot
20.13.          Roads Diverged:Kakashi from a Darker-Than-Canon AU ends his fight with Obito with mutualdestruction, and as they both lay dying Kakashi confesses to having alwaysloved Obito. Obito being Obito and therefore unholy levels of Extra even for anUchiha, proceeds to use Edo Tensai on Team 7 in order to heal Kakashi and thenfling him through dimensions until he lands in a Lighter-Than-Canon AU whereKakashi sees Rin in time to avoid hitting her with the Chidori. Things spiralfrom there. WIP
20.14.          That WeAnswer to Our Stars: Crossover with SW – Kaguya’s reality warp has somestrange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to everexist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld thatis essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it was allowed to cover anentire planet. The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all ofPalpatine’s plans for galactic domination. Meta
20.15.          The ThinLine: Kakashi loses patience with the Sandaime when no appreciable actionis taken to remove Danzo from power even after Kakashi literally reports toSarutobi’s face that he was ordered by Danzo to assassinate the Third Hokage.So Kakashi crashes an Uchiha Clan meeting and asks them to run away with himand his cute little brothers to a lovely tropical Island. Cue the Uchiha ExodusThat Fucks Over Canon. Kakashi and the Uchiha Clan proceed to re-found Uzushioand collect a few S-class missing nin along the way. WIP
20.16.          TheWaters and the Wild: The Senju are High Court Fae, and the Uchiha are WildHunt Shapeshifters. Tobirama attempts to interrupt Hashirama and Madara duringtheir riverside meeting, only it backfires when he realizes that Madara is hisSoulmate. Also the Uchiha are “clothing optional” and Tobirama was notemotionally prepared for this. Drabbles,WIP
20.17.          Truthin Hyperbole: Shinobi are what happen when Aliens and Humans have kids,Bloodline Talents are what happens when Kami and Youkai ancestry gets added tothe pot. Most of the time Shinobi stay mostly Human. Sometimes they don’t.Sometimes they really don’t. Series - WIP
20.17.1.               BloodPrice: Tobirama wakes up after being killed and proceeds to resurrect hislittle brothers and Madara’s little brothers. Tobirama would resurrect Madaratoo but Madara had already managed to resurrect himself.
20.17.2.               StillWaters Run: The Sage of Six Paths gets his ass kicked by his ex-wife, hisdaughter-in-law, and Tobirama’s mother.
20.17.3.               A ThingWith Feathers: Madara’s side of the story of their transformation intominor kami.
20.17.4.               Come Away:Zetsu is targeting Obito in another attempt to create the Rinnegan. Kakashi hashis first “near death” experience and Obito is not amused at all. Neither isRin. Team 7 is overprotective and codependent regardless of the generation inquestion.
20.17.5.               Quoth theRaven: Danzo’s schemes got him chased out of Konoha to escape execution,and he invades during the Chunin Exams in order to get his revenge. SummoningTobirama using the Edo Tensai was probably not the best plan.
20.18.          TsukumogamiNo Kankurou: While he is still very young, Kankurou signs a Summonscontract with the Tsukumogami (aka the Muppet Theater Troupe) and then proceedsto interrupt Yashamaru’s “attack” on Gaara while simultaneously wreaking havocacross the entirety of Sunagakure. All of this is done to get back at Rasa fornot letting Kankurou play with his baby brother. The Middle Child Syndrome isstrong in this one. Never underestimate the power of petty spite. Oneshot - Completed
20.19.          Twice isHappenstance: As a side effect of the battle against Kaguya breakingthrough dimensions, the ghosts of the Uchiha Clan send their memories as farback as possible. On the eve of his younger brother’s assassinations, UchihaMadara wakes up with memories of being Indra and Sasuke. All the Uchiha havememories of their past and future lives combining with their current selves,and it causes something of a fracas while it gets sorted out. Cue the UchihaExodus That Fucks Over Canon. Oneshot - Complete
20.19.1.               EnemyAction: The building of Uchihatlantis, the knockback effects of rememberingmore than one lifetime, and what happens when the Uchiha start to go back outinto the world in order to hunt down their spouses and mess up Zetsu’s plans. Meta
20.20.          Two StepsBack: Retired Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi accidently has his first vacationever interrupted when he visits the Uzushiogakure ruins and gets slingshot backan incarnation or two due to triggering a derelict seal. Kakashi being Kakashi,he proceeds to continue with his vacation until he has a drunken bar hookupwith Uchiha Izuna and now the beloved younger brother of Uchiha “I-can-fight-five-armies-and-win”Madara is stalking Kakashi in order to recite (hilariously awful) poetry aboutthe beauty of Kakashi’s kenjutsu. This is not the retirement Kakashi signed upfor. WIP - Drabbles
20.21.          TwoTruths and a Lie: Mikoto and Kushina have been fake!dating for years tokeep the more annoying Uchiha relatives from trying to get her married off.It’s a brilliant plan, and it works perfectly. But times change, and Kushina’seyes are very pretty. Oneshot - Complete
20.22.          Wills ofFire and Conquest: Crossover with OP – Kakashi is Rouge’s little brotherand ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for other reincarnatedshinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red Dawn Pirates and Kakashieventually founds a new Uzushiogakure on the Red Line. Ace decides he wants tobe the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insults Ace’s mother so badlyduring the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 days trying to beat anapology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirate culture clash isfrequent and hilarious. WIP
20.23.          Worth ofa Thousand Words: Political Hostage!Tobirama gets caught by the Uchiha justbefore he manages to use Hiraishin in battle for the first time. The Uchiha areall sensors that use Ninshu techniques otherwise since lost to time tocommunicate among themselves. This results in a much more united Uchiha Clanwho are perfectly willing to let Madara push for a peace treaty with the Senjunow that Tobirama’s capture has given them the leverage to do so. Meta
21. NURARIHYON NO MAGO
21.1.              1001Demonic Nights: An AU Rikuo who was dragged into Yomi along with his HakkaiYakko during the battle against the Nue manages to escape from hell by jumpinginto an alternate reality where his mother Wakana had a threesome with Rihanand Otome. Wakana left to take over her family shrine without telling herlovers that she was pregnant. The Rikuo who was born as a result died as aninfant from the Nue’s curse on Nurarihyon’s bloodline. Both Rikuo and Otome’sdaughter were conceived on the same night and are both half-demons due to Rihanshifting forms for kinky species-play. WIP
22. ONE PIECE
22.1.              BurningSalt Water: Crossover with KHR – Xanxus gets dumped onto the Oro Jacksonduring the Pirate King’s last voyage when Nono’s Zero Point goes sideways andhe ends up adopted by Rouge and Roger while he heals. After the executionXanxus ends up raising the ASL trio to take over the Pirate Throne and Ace setsthe Moby Dick on fire when Whitebeard kidnaps him. WIP
22.2.              How FarI’ll Go: Roger had other lovers before he met Rouge and one of them was aFishwife that he met at a Peacemoot. Their daughter was a mermaid and thusneeded to remain on Fishman Island for her own safety. The World Government isso Human-centric that they don’t bother looking into any of Roger’s ladyfriends from the other races. Gol D Ann gives no shits about anybodiesprejudices and when her mixed up genetics mean her feet come in about 20 yearsearly she immediately takes off to track down her baby brother. Goldfish isLuffy’s favourite sibling and Ann is delighted to find three baby brothers forthe price of one. WIP
22.3.              Rumour,Slander, Hearsay: Garp is even worse at interpersonal communication than incanon and now the entire Marine fleet thinks that Monkey D Dragon is anoversexed degenerate who keep dumping his illegitimate spawn on his poor heroicfather’s doorstep. Otherwise known as Dragon adopts ASL and they seek aglorious Revolution. Meta
22.4.              Those WhoFavour Fire: Ace survives Marineford, even if only in spirit, because theGoddess of the Sea answered the prayer of another version of Ace. Waking up inthe place of his 17-year-old murdered doppelganger, Ace now has to deal withraising a 7-year-old Luffy and escaping the notice of the Marines. Oh, and hismurdered younger self is hanging around as a ghost, all the younger versions ofLuffy’s crewmates keep showing up on Ace’s boat, and Ace keeps getting trippedup over how much more horrible this world is compared to the one he came from. WIP
22.5.              Where theSky Meets the Sea: Crossover with KHR – The ASL Trio are reborn as SawadaTsunayoshi’s younger brothers, and the Will of D means they remembereverything. Sawada Iemitsu might once have been Akagami no Shanks and despitelacking his memories knows better than to keep secrets from his wife. (Iemitsudoes keep a lot of secrets from Nono, such as the fact that he has more thanone son.) Iemitsu redirects Xanxus’ attention to the Family traitors, Nononever meets Tsuna, and nobody gets sealed. Then Reborn shows up, and everythingis now on fire. Drabbles - WIP
22.6.              WildfireHearts: Ace goes back in time from his death to the Grey Terminal Fire, figuresout how to use natural fire to heal himself, saves child!Ace and child!Luffy,changes his name to Portgas D Riot, runs away to the Grand Line with his babybrothers, puts together a new pirate crew, and hits on Marco so hard thePhoenix forgets how to complete his sentences. Everything works out for thebetter. WIP
22.6.1. Heave A Sigh And A Wish For Me – WH SpinoffAU: SI-Clearfin Lionfish Mermaid named Occhio D Vittoria gets tapped in bythe Ocean Goddess to help Riot et al from WildfireHearts succeed in their adventures. WIP
22.7.              Wills ofFire and Conquest: Crossover with Naruto – Kakashi is Rouge’s littlebrother and ends up raising the ASL trio while also searching for otherreincarnated shinobi. Obito and the rest of Akatsuki become the Red DawnPirates and Kakashi eventually founds a new Uzushio on the Red Line. Acedecides he wants to be the Nidaime Uzukage, and Whitebeard accidently insultsAce’s mother so badly during the “recruitment” debacle that Ace spends 100 daystrying to beat an apology out of the arrogant old goat. Shinobi-versus-pirateculture clash is frequent and hilarious. WIP
23. PETSHOP OF HORRORS
23.1.              EventHorizons: Leon isn’t human, and that changes things in the aftermath of theconfrontation with Papa D. Count D wants to unravel the mystery of hisfavourite Detective, and Leon is starting to wake up. Hopefully they both findthe knowledge they’re looking for before it’s too late and their enemy findsthem. WIP – Under Revision
24. SAILOR MOON
24.1.              FromOlympus to Mu: The Senshi go to college and Mamoru reunites with the Shitennou.Basis of headcanons and characterization for any further post-canon SM fic. WIP
24.2.              Music ofthe Spheres: Crossover with KHR – Post Stars Usagi and Post VongolaInheritance Tsuna are cousins who meet for the first time ever only after theVongola’s enemies kidnap Ikkuko and Shingo. Usagi gets taken into protectivecustody by her Mafia relatives without being given the chance to say shedoesn’t need it. Usagi then proceeds to seduce all the women, charm all themen, and accidently throw Iemitsu out the nearest window every time he’s in thesame room she is. WIP
24.2.1. Celestial Chorus – MotS Spinoff AU: Chibiusa’sarrival has Usagi dragging her family to Namimori to prove that Chibiusa isn’t their cousin and things get wildly out ofhand. In Meta
24.3.              The SharpKnife Of A Short Life: SI is reborn as Tsukino Shingo under the aegis ofthe Roman God Janus and then proceeds to merrily say ‘screw canon, my sistergets to be happy or else’. WIP, Drabbles
25. SLAYERS
25.1.              InfiniteBlue: Zelgadis starts paying more attention to the deeper practices ofShamanism and gets in touch with his demonic side while achieving deeperharmony in himself. Xellos approves and it all results in magic explosions andvery strange demonic courtship rituals. WIP
26. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG
26.1.              SkippedTracks: The triplets from Underground end up transmigrating into therecently deceased bodies of their counterparts in a SatAM reality and proceedto rock out and confuse everyone. WIP
27. Stargate
28. STAR WARS
28.1.              A Balanceof Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Qui-Gon Jinn’s three Padawan Learnersand Padme (who got taken in Anakin’s place) are reincarnated as the Tyrellsiblings. They proceed to follow the Will of the Force and prepare the SevenKingdoms to win against the Long Night.
28.2.              A Robe ofStars: Crossover with TMNT – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save theInitiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once thechildren are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to savingthe Vod’ade. WIP
28.3.              That WeAnswer to Our Stars: Crossover with Naruto – Kaguya’s reality warp has somestrange side effects to the point of ridiculousness. All the Uchiha to everexist are resurrected and then dumped wholesale onto an alien deathworld thatis essentially what Training Ground 44 would be if it hadn’t been fenced in.The Uchiha proceed to seduce the Jedi and foil all of Palpatine’s plans forgalactic domination. Meta
29. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
29.1.              A Robe ofStars: Crossover with SW – The turtles and Karai help Obi-wan save theInitiates and babies in the Jedi crèche before the Temple gets razed. Once thechildren are safe, Obi-wan and his new allies turn their attention to savingthe Vod’ade. WIP
29.2.              A VelvetGlove: Crossover with FOZ – Leonardo gets summoned to be Louise’s Familiar.Since all of his brothers are dead, Leo sees no reason not to make the most ofthis “lifelong bond of magic and spirit” and adopts Louise as his littlesister. Halgenkia is not prepared for a Louise Francois le Blanc de la Vallierewith ninja training. Henrietta is probably far too gleeful over making her bestfriend her Spymaster, but it’s not like anyone knows enough about what they’redoing to stop her. Reconquista gets exposed and smashed, and Wardes reallyshould have respected his fiancée more. Chaptered,WIP
29.3.              IronLaced: Crossover with TMNT – Maria Carbonell was actually Oroku Karai indisguise because she was on vacation from being a member of the Council ofShadows. Karai and all the Turtles accessed magic ninja dragon powers when theytook over the Council and Karai-as-Maria passed that down to Tony. So Tony isactually a dragon and an encounter with the Enchantress leaves him locked inhis dragon form. WIP
29.4.              PaperFlowers: Leonardo and Michelangelo reconnect after years of separation anddeal with some leftover issues from their childhood while they prepare towelcome the next generation of Ninja Turtles into the world. WIP
29.5.              Patchingthe Trousers: Starting from the end of the Fast Forward arc, Leonardo getslost in the multiverse and proceeds to adopt all the secondary turtles. All ofthem. Leonardo is the Mom Friend, only he’s not a friend he’s just a Mom. Chaptered, WIP
29.6.              StainedBandages: Realistic resolution to the most common dark!Splinter tropes. Leodoesn’t really care about himself, but if you touch his brothers he will killyou. Splinter touches Raphael. Karai is gifted with Splinter’s decapitated headin a box. Oneshot, Completed
29.7.              UnraveledSleeves: After First Contact and Splinter’s death from old age, the Turtlesscattered to live their lives. Leonardo is the only one who stayed in the Lair.Making peace with the Karai was only the first step towards healing, and Leomakes peace with himself as he takes on students and his family grows again. Chaptered, WIP
30. TRANSFORMERS
30.1.              A Transformationof Ice and Fire: Crossover with GOT – Most of the Cybertronians who diedduring Unicron’s Awakening end up reincarnated as dragons (Seekers) andDirewolves (Autobots). The sapience of the animals causes significant changesto outcome of several key canon events.
30.2.              Action Equals Reaction
30.3.              CompromisingPositions: Bay’verse Shattered Glass – Megatron knows that there’ssomething wrong with his brother, but nobody will listen to him. Oneshot, Complete
30.4.              HighStakes Wagers: Decepticon Romantic Gestures at their finest. Series of Oneshots
30.4.1. The Bet: Soundwave saves Starscream’slife after he gets blasted away from Unicron and they proceed to have wild,kinky spark-bonding and that’s it that’s the plot.
30.4.2. The Rebirth: Starscream and Soundwavehead off Galvatron and Zarak’s attempt to destroy Cybertron (and Earth, butthat’s really secondary to them) and earn their just rewards for being on thewinning side.
30.5.              NineRings of Vos: The Epic Seeker Saga where Starscream is the uncontestedleader of the Seekers and he’s using the Great War as a cover to renew his people’spopulation numbers, add some variety to their core coding, and also destroy theCybertronian Government because they liked to make Seekers into their slaves. Seven Story Arcs, Chaptered, WIP
30.5.1. Before Dawn: A Rings spin-off where theSeekers are actually all sparklings who disguised themselves as their parentsin order to survive the Great War. Crash-landing on Earth precipitates the BigReveal and also the actual adult Seekers get woken from Government sanctionedstasis thanks to the energy surges caused by resource shipments coming in fromEarth. Chaptered shortfic, WIP
30.6.              No Evil:Starscream is a scientist who wants to stay a scientist but he’s so damn goodat being Air Commander that he gets promoted anyway. Also his bestfriend/roommate from the War Academy is the closest thing to a therapist thatthe Decepticons have and that means Starscream stays mostly sane. Meta in Production
30.7.              Out From Under
30.8.              Thundercracker’sSo Crazy in Love: Seekers Go Into Heat and that will put the War onpause for a bit because of the crazy. Oneshotseries
30.8.1. Always the Quiet Ones: Thundercrackerterrorizes the Decepticon forces on Earth while displaying for his Wingmatesand accidently kills Megatron.
30.8.2. Decepticon Service Announcement:Thundercracker is the new Supreme Leader of the Decepticons and he’s decidedthat they’re in a good position to negotiate peace terms with the Autobots now.
31. YU-GI-OH
31.1.              Old Game,New Rules: Sentinels and Guides are a built in part of society and acertain playing card game ties into that a bit more than most people wouldexpect. There’s a lot of gratuitous soul-bonding smut, worldbuilding runsrampant, and there’s a lot of social commentary on the futility of stereotypingany portion of the population based on a single point of commonality. WIP
31.2.              TheFuture of the Past: Jounouchi’s past life left a surprise in their soulthat the trip to memory world triggers and now Katsuya is living through all ofJono’s memories. WIP – Under Revision
32. YU YU HAKUSHO
32.1.             Bonds:Koenma and Yusuke are soulmates and Enma Daioh interferes because one his bratson is properly wedded and bedded Enma can take a long overdue vacation. Oneshot, PWP-ish
32.1.1.                 TiesThat Bind: Koenma and Yusuke are just starting to get used to being bondedmates when a new/old-and-forgotten enemy shows up to complicate things. WIP – Under Revision
32.2.             WhatHappens on Vacation: Crossover with Bleach – turns out that Kurosaki Misakiwas a senior ferry girl on sabbatical (which translates as living a mortal lifeunaware of her true nature) and she was late returning to work due to beingtrapped in Grand Fishers gut. Ichigo and Uryuu are very confused when their“cousin” Kazuma shows up to introduce his new bride to the family. Koenma isjust really pissed off by all the paperwork he needs to deal with whilecleaning up his father’s mismanaged pet project. WIP
… Ta-dah. And also I apologize to the mobile users.
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evilelitest2 · 8 years ago
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100 Days of Trump Day 99: The History Plays
Welcome Back to 100 Days of Trump where I try to explain WTF happened in 2016 in 100 recommendations and today lets talk William Shakespeare. Also Sargon of Akkad.  Specifically the History Plays, his interpetations of the War of the Roses, which include
Richard II
Henry IV Part 1
Henry IV Part 2
Henry V
Henry VII Part 1, 2 and 3 (aka the weakest plays of the lot)
Richard III
 Actually I’m in this position where I wrote an actual full on paper on the political messages in these plays, so summing it up this briefly is a little difficult, but primarily they plays are about political power and its relationship to language, mostly how language can be used to get people to act against their own interests.  For example you might be familiar with this speech from Henry V
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One of the greatest inspirational speeches of all time right? Great war speech?  Sargon of Akkad was praising this as a true sign of english culture in the youtube comments there (You can find me quoting actual Shakespeare at him and pointing out he obviously hasn’t read the plays)  Here is the thing though, if you look at that speech in the context of all the plays you’d realize that...Henry the V is totally bullshitting.  After all, this is a war which the very opening of the play makes a joke about how fucking pointless it is and how illogical the entire justification it is.  I mean listen to the bullshit justification for war here, it makes WMDS in Iraq seem sane. 
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   Yes, it being that needlessly confusing is suppose to be a joke.       
     Also literally the first scene in the play are a punch of people saying “hey look, it would be great if we had an invasion to help unify England after a civil war?”  Henry V (Prince Hal to his Friends) is getting a punch of tavern boys and farmers to come to France to die in the mud and the only person who materially benefits is himself, they get glory and honor, but as Falstaff notes in Henry IV part I (which Sargon also hasn’t read) you can’t eat honor. Btw the one guy who says “Never have in the world have there been more loyal nobles than in England” this comes after literally three plays of nobles betraying their kings.  
     The plays are about how we understand our reality through fiction, which in is here personified in language.  Again, Henry V opens with the narrator telling us how the imagined Battle of Aginicourt that Shakespeare is depicting is going to become more famous than the historical battle.  He who masters fiction can make that fiction reality.  If you want to talk Alternate Facts,  Prince Hal makes an Alternate Reality, and unlike Trump, everybody else wants to live in it with him.
  For example, you all know the story of Henry V, the young and foolish Prince Hal who drinks and parties but when he becomes king he becomes the responsible and dutiful king Henry?  Except in his first scene, Hal turns to the audience and says directly to them “I’m faking, I am pretending to be young and foolish but it is just to make my look good later, everything I do is being done for my own benefit, and despite being a totally selfish bastard, everybody who I take advantage of will love me for it.  Including you audience.”  And three plays later when he is making the St. Crispian Day speech, guess what?  Almost everybody in the audience is cheering.  That is the power of language, creating a reality we wish to live in, and then making it reality.  
Richard II is a master of language but his flowery ornate formal speech of the court prevails him nothing when confronted with the sword of Henry IV the usurper.  But when Richard II is forced to abdicate the crown, he makes a speech in which he effectively strips the crown of its power, making it only a hat. 
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Henry IV keeps his throne but lacking the mastery of language, he has to fight for it every day of his life.  Later RIchard III can use language to disguise his true twisted nature (Seriously I can and have written whole essays comparing Richard III to Henry V)
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Henry V’s ability is to use people’s sentimentality and trap them in a web of word, so that they die for his causes, and...
Look just watch the damn plays, its bloody Shakespeare.  And remember, when a man tells you to obey him out of honor, ask yourself what is Honor anyways?
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Also Sargon knows about as much about Shakespeare as he knows about the Akkadian Empire
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appreciatedinretrospect · 8 years ago
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Kendrick Lamar DAMN Album Review
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“The best way for me to put it, To Pimp A Butterfly would be the idea of the thought of changing the world…DAMN would be the idea that I can’t change the world until I change myself.”    
- Kendrick Lamar speaking to Zane Lowe.
My first impression of DAMN was how Mike D of the Beastie Boys described A Tribe Called Quest in their documentary ‘Beats Rhymes & Life’ saying that there were “party records but with a consciousness.” It’s the core element of hip hop to have both ends of equation without it being contradictory.
Lamar speaking to Lowe, goes on to explain how he is a vessel of God, relaying the message of life by making it honest. By depicting each of these human emotions through the lens of his personal experience makes the relative into the absolute. You have to be able to look inward to approach the bigger picture. It's about discussing both ends of the spectrum contextually rather than being schizophrenic in subject matter. In fact it's the opposite of it. There are few records more focused. That’s where the concept of the album comes in. There’s duality within all of us.
DAMN takes multiple listens creating an experience in an age where the LP is under attack by the way we consume music. Conscious of that, Lamar made something that would combat passive listening by making something you have to pay attention to. Every step of the way heightens the experience. That within itself makes this album a classic.
Lamar always finds a way to progress his sound as well as the concept or weight of an album. Each bar on each track on each album represent all of us as well as Lamar with a level of genius and calculation that’s refreshing in the year 2017. Anyone who’s a fan of Section.80, good kid, m.A.A.d city, or To Pimp a Butterfly won’t have an issue getting into DAMN. The goal was to make it raw Hip Hop but with a grand purpose. “Party records with a consciousness.”
Ain’t nobody praying for me.
Blood-
"It's a new life” Lamar stated speaking to Zane Lowe.
Features lush instrumentation and harmonies that are like a mournful Marvin Gaye song. Kendrick describes a situation of helping a blind woman but ends up losing his life in the process. It’s the calm before the storm. In true rebel music fashion, the track ends with Eric Bolling and Kimberly Guilfoyle from Fox News ignorantly discussing the lyrics of To Pimp A Butterfly’s Alright. Punk rock and telling of various degrees of human interaction.
DNA-
This is an immediate and energetic drop into the album taking on an array of themes over a sample of a live version of Rick James’ Mary Jane and Ha by Juvenile. More of an ambiguous socio political statement rather than a direct message while still having a proclamation of authenticity. DNA does everything you want a hip hop song to do to you. When you hear punk you know how you want to feel viscerally. This is what Kendrick is doing with hip hop.
Heavy bass and drums at 130 bpm and ending it with a sample from Geraldo Rivera, another punk rock jab at the right wing media. "Me recognizing the world around me, the lifestyle... from a famous perspective…"
Yah-
Yahweh, a Hebrew name for God in the Bible embodies the theme of the track. Using reverse loops Lamar curates a vibe that its energetically the poor opposite of the previous track.
Covering religion, racial identity and improper right wing media with the agenda to spread hate and hypocrisy. A consistent beat gives Lamar the platform to express his inner thoughts without being in a hurry.
Element-
Featuring production from James Blake, Sounwave, Ricci Rivera, a contribution from Kid Capri and a sample of Fleurie’s Don’t Let Me Down.
The first lines of this track give me chills every time I hear it. They’re some of my favorite lyrics of all time. "I'm willing to die for this shit, I done cried for this shit, might take a life for this shit." A proclamation blatantly stating love for the art. “I don't do it for the gram I do it for Compton." This isn't about vanity and arbitrary social constructs. This is my life and the lives of others. The power of music and knowing where you come from. Lamar tells tales of self sacrifice, on the cross for a grander purpose. Piano and beat driving the track over 808 style drums.
*(Element was one of the first ideas for the album)
Feel-
Ain’t nobody praying for me.
Another lower dynamic track features a sample of O.C Smith’s Stormy and production from Sounwave, as well as contribution from Thundercat. Lamar discusses themes of isolation, feeling alien, questioning life and your surroundings. Inner dialogue in moments of solitude. Your mind can be evil when you're alone but it can also clear the smoke when there's clearly a fire. All you can do is express yourself after that. Sometimes it's finding catharsis and other times it's exploding. I'm supposed to be the Savior but ain't nobody praying for me. Lamar references I Am Legend to depict his loneliness and acknowledgment of being at the top of the game with little competition with the pressure it comes along with.
Loyalty-
One of the few tracks to have a feature beyond a contributor to the production. It shines a light on artistry and representation of women by having Rhianna give her perspective of Loyalty.
You have to maintain honesty and loyalty to yourself and those you love. Ride or die mentality. You can be compromised or bastardized by external factors including temptation or fame.
Pride-
Lamar consciously made Pride more of a slower, lower dynamic track than what follows giving the album that introspective juxtaposition. Pride can be dangerous, but it can also be a tool to use. Lamar correlates those concepts of Pride to religion while still observing the self and his surroundings. For people of color pride has a very different connotation. It's not arrogance but knowing you're beautiful and you belong when society constantly makes feeble attempts to tell you otherwise.
Humble-
This banger is about duality and authenticity. It’s fun, socially conscious and a perfectly constructed hip hop song for any context. In case any of you were questioning it, yes this brotha is your savior. Who else presently can stunt and keep it real over piano and drums at this level of excellence?
Lust-
Lust is trying to fill a void with a biological need. We all seek out something to fill that void even at the point of it being unhealthy or even mundane. Mundanity might be even worse in this context. If we’re not actually seeking real human connection tot the point that it’s becoming redundant, are we really living? Like a junkie looking for a fix. Lamar brings the vibe back down to make his point as clear as possible over reverse loops and harmonies.
Love-
Featuring Zacari, Lamar dives into Lust’s alternative counterpart rather than its polar opposite.
The concept of love and the feeling of love in the midst of the madness of the album.
If we’re looking through the lens of Kendrick Lamar to observe these human qualities love has to be featured in that. Love explores the biological and innate feeling of giving and receiving love in its purest form as well as analyzing that love.
XXX-
Features a sample of James Brown’s Get Up Off That. Without feeling schizophrenic, Lamar makes a hip hop song with stark movements. Each of them sounding vastly different than the last while still being inherently cohesive like an opera. Harmonies reminiscent of Blood’s intro open the track leading into 808 drums and heavy bass while Lamar spits almost almost whispered lyrics before a siren effect brings him up to his upper register depicting what would happen if he lost his son in a conversation with a friend struggling with that exact reality.  
"Can you pray for me? If someone killed my son that mean somebody getting killed.” Then a not so out of character feature from U2 accompanies a blunt political commentary describing the world we live in right now. "Homicidal thoughts Donald Trump is in office. We lost Barack and promised to never doubt him again." We're all human and capable of evil as well as good. Coping with spirituality and life as a venn diagram. Sometimes they fall under the same category and sometimes they don't. Both are valid because it's apart of the human experience. Bono’s lyrics imply that America isn't a destination but a feeling or a concept.
Fear-
Features production from Alchemist and a sample of The 24 Carat Black’s Poverty’s Paradise.
Fear takes you to a very specific place that many human beings can relate to. And if they can't Kendrick conveys that scene by painting the picture. The anxiety of living on the edge and uncertainty. Especially as a child and the pressure it puts on you throughout your life. It shapes you. Each verse takes you to the specific fears that come with the ages of 7, 17 and 27.  
Physical fear, fear of dying young and being a number, fear of losing what you've built, etc.
God-
God serves as the penultimate of the album. What could sound like a nostalgic care free party song in the distance is actually a personal telling of mortality and success. The grandest achievements can actually feel like the power of God. It can feel like you are God yourself. But the reality is, according to Kendrick, that we are all vessels of God and should be humble enough to remind ourselves and others of that fact.
Duckworth-
Features a sample of Ted Taylor’s Be Ever Wonderful.
Duckworth is 360 reflection of where you began to where you are now to where you're going. The track opens with those same harmonies and Kid Capri stating “what happens on Earth stays on Earth.” DAMN’s final track might actually serve as its most important. The decisions you make with a stranger will not only change their life and yours but maybe create something outside of the two of you. A man is so self destructive that he goes back to the same restaurant a year after he robbed it to do the same thing. Because of understanding the circumstances of that life Lamar’s father he offers him food instead. 20 years later they find out they know each other because he was Lamar's manager. This is divine intervention. If you treat people with humanity, magic can happen. Try to understand why people are in the situation they’re in and respond instead of reacting.
I would recommend this for just about anyone. I don’t care if you’re a fan or not, or if you listen to hip hop or not. (I judge you if you fall under either of these categories.) There’s something on DAMN for everyone.
You can watch Kendrick Lamar’s interview with Zane Lowe below:
youtube
I feel Like something’s missing here...
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creamocrop · 8 years ago
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My fresh from the oven thoughts for sherlolly right after TLD. Of course spoilers ahead.
So right after seeing TLD, it will not be very surprising to me if the sherlolly tag is going to be flooded again by rude posts about our supposedly “collective disillusionment”. I mean, rude people posting so much hate on the Sherlolly tag right after the airing of a new episode, is pretty much part of the procedure by now. 
I can already see the posts saying “She only got like 5 mins of screen time, where the hell are you getting your materials?”
Well, yes  that is true and yes, I also got a little sad that John ships Ad/lock. My sadness is of course natural for someone who is rooting for a different ship, but I’m not gonna be a bastard about it. 
Ship and let ship. 
I am not under any disillusionment that this series will end with Sherlock carrying Molly off to the sunset. Yes, I read and write stories that goes along those lines. Yes, I like to imagine alternative universes with little Holmes-Hooper babies, but I still have a grasp of reality. 
A few of the best that I can hope for is actually something that TLD had given and it is making me very happy right now. 
Surprisingly, John is the one that brought all of them to life.
I can’t quote the exact words but he said that Molly is the one who had always been able to see through Sherlock. 
Okay, that was already a major happy point for me.
In John’s mind, he acknowledges that Molly can see through Sherlock. This is John Watson, Sherlock’s best friend, fortifying Sherlock’s previous line. “You can see me.” 
Because I know Molly is not a canon character, I just really want her to be acknowledged, not just by Sherlock but by all the other characters.
And then there’s the “Molly will be here in 20 mins.”
I know some might be disappointed that Molly is being relegated as Sherlock’s babysitter, but I think there is something more important than that. John trusts Molly in taking care of Sherlock. He knows she can handle him. 
Then there’s the birthday cake. 
Molly knows Sherlock’s birthday while John has just figured that out. Enough said. 
There are still other things, but that’s it for now. 
TLDR: Basically, I just really want Molly to be recognized by the people around Sherlock as much as Sherlock clearly recognizes Molly, and TLD showed that John actually does see it. Though he thought he sees it and Sherlock doesn’t, which made that scene pretty funny.
(”The last person you think...” meanwhile Sherlock sits there like “Way ahead of you pal, two weeks way ahead”. In fact, he’s years ahead. “You can see me”)
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