#95% chance there's a break in the action for them to make puns at each other. Or they pause at a particularly stupid line to laugh

[tswwwit]

That art does remind me, does Bill know about the lamby lamby dance? Who told him and what's the reaction from both him and Dipper? Is there, perhaps, some Lamb for the Slaughter imagery introduced into certain activities?

He does, and nobody told him - he went through people's brains about it! Plenty of people have seen the performance, even if Dipper tries not to think about it.

Dipper, however, doesn't learn that Bill learned, until Bill makes a very pointed comment at exactly the right time, leaving Dipper stunned. And cringing. And maybe horrified as well, for the hat trick!

As for Dipper being a Sacrificial Lamb - it seems like a Bill thing to suggest! So long as he gets to play the Big Bad Wolf.

[ciathyzareposts]

Game 108: Nippon Safes, Inc. – Introduction

Written by Torch

Doesn’t look very safe to me

Two years after my first ever playthrough for The Adventure Gamer, I’m finally up for another. Quite the gap, but – surprise! – we’re still doing games from 1992! We sure are taking our time here, or perhaps 1992 was just a particularly bountiful year. Either way, the next game up is Nippon Safes, Inc. This game was developed by Dynabyte software, an Italian game creator. I couldn’t find a lot of information about this company, but running a couple of Italian wikis through Google translate helped a little.

Dynabyte. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that it’s a portmanteau of dynamite and byte

Dynabyte made 6 games in all, of which 3 were adventure games. Nippon was the first in 1992, followed by Tequila & Boom Boom – a cartoonish western themed adventure named starring anthropomorphic animals – in 1994, and finally Big Red Adventure in 1995 ( 1997 on Amiga ).

Can you spot the KGB agent? ( It’s a trick question. They’re all KBG agents )

Big Red is a direct sequel to Nippon, but I doubt Tequila is related. Not sure how they’d make that work… In 1997 they either changed their name to Ludomedia or disbanded and then created a new company named Ludomedia, I can’t tell for sure. Either way they went out of business the same year, so I guess it doesn’t matter much.

Logos from ‘95-97 Can’t put my finger on it, but it’s like they didn’t fully commit to the new company name

That’s pretty much all I could dig up about Dynabyte, so if any Italian readers see this and know more, please feel free to chip in.

So let’s get back to the game at hand. I read about Nippon Safes Inc. in an Amiga magazine many years ago, and the cartoony graphics kind of caught my eye, but that’s the extent of my familiarity with this game, so I’ll start off by checking out the manual, to see what I can expect.

The story begins like this: “In the most disreputable parts of the Japanese metropolis of Tyoko,a shady character wanders around looking suspicious. What can this mysterious person be up to?”

Talk about suspense building.. To help me learn more about this mysterious character, I will be able to control the dynamic trio of….

“DOUG NUTS. He is an electronics genius who uses his knowledge for not exactly a lawful purpose (with meagre results). His career as an electronics engineer at Oxford ended abruptly when he was caught fiddling the results of the exams stored in the faculty computer. After moving to Japan, the homeland of electronics, he has problems with the law each time one of his breaking in gadgets doesn’t work quite like it was meant to.”

“DINO FAGIOLI. A former boxer of Italian origin, basically a good and honest soul,often falls into the traps set by people taking advantage of the fact that he tends not to think very hard. After a series of defeats in the boxing world, he boarded a ship bound for Japan as a deckhand. After getting into the umpteenth scrape he was thrown off the ship in Tyoko, where he is trying to make ends meet.”

“DONNA FATALE. A variety actress, she abandoned a promising career as a ballet dancer to follow the path of the glittering world of show business. She arrived in Tyoko dazzled by the promises of a self-styled impressario who, after having squandered all her possessions, left her to a life on the border of legality.”

Ok, so brains, brawn and… show tunes? How’s that for diversity? According to the manual, these guys are linked together, and I’ll be able to play them either one at a time, or I can alternate between them. This is referred to as something called the “Parallaction system”. Yes, “parallaction”. As in… “parallel action”. These Dynabyte guys seem to have a thing for wordplay. You may also have noticed that the name of the city where the action takes place is “Tyoko”. That’s not a typo ( or a tyopo – sorry, couldn’t resist ). The manual states that the city of Tyoko is located “somewhere not better identified half way between Tokyo and Kyoto as the crow flies.”

Easily one of the safest mountains to climb

In general, the manual has a certain… let’s call it “Lost in translation” vibe to it. In addition to character introductions, it also contains a test quiz, to help me decide which of the characters I should play. Hmm.. I thought I’m supposed to play them all eventually? Anyway, here’s an example question:

1)YOU ARE ON STAGE.YOU MUST CHEER UP THE EVENING.WHAT DO YOU DO?

I bring out all my artistic gifts. NA Nothing.I would feel out of place. NE Ever heard the one about the airship? WA

It doesn’t say how this helps me decide on a character though. Each answer corresponds to a 2-letter combination, and there are 6 questions so I can end up with a “word” like NARAKIWANAHO. I have no idea how this will help me with such an all-important decision, but hopefully we’ll find out when I actually start playing the game.

Lastly, the manual contains some information (fun facts) about Japan that may or may not be related to copy protection, including but not limited to Japanese written language, the geisha, fish, public baths, hotels and railways. This is actually a fairly interesting and a fun read, both for its content and for the sometimes strange English. Take this section about the subway trains:

To understand just how crowded they are, you should know that most stations have “oshiya”, or throwers-in. These are people charged with pushing the passengers inside the carriages. Each passenger is determined to get in, in order to reach his place of work on time, but the doors of the carriages will not work until until everyone has either got in or out. Since the other passengers are far to well-bred to interfere, these “oshiya” with their impecabble white gloves, help the poor devil make up his mind.

Having read through the manual, I feel ready to take on the game itself. The game is listed as working in ScummVM with a “Good” support level, but in for authenticity, I’ll be playing in Dosbox.

Tough call, but I’ll probably go for japanese engr… soll…sorry! English!

So join me next time as I make my way through the thriving metropolis of Tyo… wait, what?

So it WAS a tyopo after all

Anyway, prepare for a barrage of “safe”-related puns ( or maybe it’s better to Nipp(on) the whole thing in the bud ) as we explore the cartoony world of bank robberies and who knows what other crimes in an imaginary Japanese city.

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no CAPs will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. As this is an introduction post, it’s an opportunity for readers to bet 10 CAPs (only if they already have them) that I won’t be able to solve a puzzle without putting in an official Request for Assistance: remember to use ROT13 for betting. If you get it right, you will be rewarded with 50 CAPs in return. It’s also your chance to predict what the final rating will be for the game. Voters can predict whatever score they want, regardless of whether someone else has already chosen it.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/game-108-nippon-safes-inc-introduction/

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week forty-three

11.1.1997 11.3.2007 11.4.2017 still doin’ this, still not sure why

11.1.1997

19) "I Don't Want to Wait," by Paula Cole

whoever did the drums for this song, y'all did some work. thanks for that. um, i don't know. i guess i never would have realized that this song was about how paula cole's grandparents were too stressed or too afflicted with PTSD to appreciate their lives and their blessings so she's gonna seize the moment, given that i associated this song with a teen soap opera i never watched, but i'm not sure it really engages with those people on a substantive level. "yeah, my granddad had shellshock, and that taught me i should carpe a whole bunch of diems before i, too, experience a horrible event from which i can't come back." is that, help him! talk to him!

26) "My Body," by LSG

"Gotta call you up and let you know just what I'm feelin', baby/911 0 0 24/Baby, it's an emergency, I'm callin' 'cause I gotta have some more." *ring* *ring* *ring* 911. What's your emergency? OPERATOR I'M HORNY 12415 Hyperion Street? YES! The Whambambulance is on its way. I just realized that's a pager code and I should probably make fun of the sexy pager codes, but I just came up with Whambambulance so this stays.

29) "Feel So Good," by Mase

Hm. There's an interesting juxtaposition at the heart of this song: you see, Mase is a bad boy. You know this, as he is affiliated with the Bad Boy record label; they are not in the business of hiring good boys there, I'd imagine. But despite his inherent badness, he is still capable of engendering good feelings in the young women with whom he "hangs" (popular late-'90s slang for 'copulates'). This thematic complexity is the thing we have come to expect from Mase, and he has delivered unto us yet another intellectual treat.

56) "Phenomenon," by LL Cool J

"I was looking at her in the limelight, pearly whites" LL Cool J I sincerely doubt you go to the club to scope out nice smiles. Come on. "Behind every playa is a true playette" I never would have realized the word 'playa' needed a feminine form. I don't see why this needed to be a gendered term, but then again, I'm looking at this with 2017 eyes, where we're all just people who enjoy fucking to various degrees and we kinda stopped caring about gender. They probably did need a female form of 'playa' in 1997. "You beefin, yellin on the cell of my 6/You reach it, then you hear the cordless click" THIS IS A BOAST ABOUT A CORDLESS PHONE

66) "I Do," by Lisa Loeb

I listened to this song yesterday and then I got distracted because there was some hot LttP rando tourney tie-break action and some listen to and read other things and now it's the day after and I'm pretty sure this song was OK but I'm extremely sure I got everything out of the first listen. It's a fun female singer/songwriter jam about love or whatever that wasn't completely shallow but also wasn't really captivating. It was. It existed. It was a song I listened to and thenI moved on with my life.

69) "So Good," by Davina ft./Raekwon

This was dope! Because this capsule is being written immediately after I listened to the song, one would think I have more to say, what with it being fresh in my mind. Hey: guess what: it was good! It was low-key and had a nice clip and it pleased me! It pleased me greatly. I am not making fun of this song even though it's basically the same thing as "So Good" because I'll take something that sounds like Lauryn Hill over something that sounds like Mase.

72) "Dream," by Forest for the Trees

"I wanna make a hip-hop song!" "I wanna make an alternative rock song!" "I wanna engage in psychadelia!" "I wanna play the bagpipes!" "Fellas, fellas, fellas! No reason we can't ALL get out way!" And that was the episode of Forest for the Trees when they learned how they could avoid conflict by seeking out compromises.

75) "I'm Not a Player," by Big Punisher

For some reason, on the album Capital Punishment, "Still Not a Player" comes well before "I'm Not a Player." This seems like a grievous error in sequencing. Like, someone should have done something about that, unless Big Pun was way ahead of the curve on the whole "this album should be played with the track listing reversed." "Still Not a Player" even references the hook for "I'm Not a Player." Missed opportunity for a killer reprise. I would also like to note that there is an Intermission in track four of a nineteen-track album. He makes for a fun listen, but Big Pun was absolutely garbage at actually making an album.

11.3.2007

68) "Shadowplay," The Killers

The Killers named themselves after a fictional band in a Joy Division music video. In the video for "Mr. Brightside," The Killers also have a fictional band playing; the kick drum bears the insignia for The Genius Sex Poets. The top YouTube result for The Genius Sex Poets is a band from Denmark that makes somewhat sloppy mopecore rock, they tried their best and I'm not here to make fun of the little guy but also wish I hadn't spent four minutes with them, but the enh makes sense. Joy Division's fake band had a dope name. It was brisk, to the point, and let you know what that fake band was about. I'm surprised that no band had taken the name The Killers before The Killers, or even before whatever Joy Division video I'm not gonna watch because I don't care enough. The Genius Sex Poets is the name of your college's worst a capella group. It's a bad name for a band, and that The Killers wanted to influence as they have been influenced by giving their fake band that name is why I never could get into them. They wanted their legacy to be a band called The Genius Sex Poets. What a trash thing to want.

94) "Love Like This," Natasha Bedingfield ft./Sean Kingston

"We were cool back in high school/Ooh, I really liked you!" Earlier this year, we praised Mariah Carey's "I Don't" because it was a song in which a 40-year-old Mariah Carey had a 28-year-old YG rap about how hot he thought Mariah was. It's a lovely subversion of the Hollywood thing where John Legend and Ariana Grande sing a love duet for a Disney film and people don't see anything wrong or squicky about it. The age gap here isn't quite so drastic, Natasha Bedingfield is 26 and Sean Kingston is 17, but still, this is as close to progress as anyone who isn't Mariah has ever made. The people DO demand a film where Channing Tatum goes down on Meryl Streep, though. I think we're due.

96) "The Hand Clap," Hurricane Chris ft./Big Poppa

this is literally just an over-produced song where hurricane chris only says he wants people to clap their hands. like that's it. that's all there is to this song. just hurricane chris listing reasons you should clap your hands. "Well, I hope you ain't tired of clappin' yo hands/'Cause we just got in the club." Does. Does Hurricane Chris expect me to clap my hands the entire time in the club? 'Cuz I'd do it, but it'd be quite silly. Picture me in the club constantly clapping my hands. Bangin' beats, slammin' honeys, and me just fucking there getting my seal on. "Drop that beat/Turn it up/That's too loud, man!/Turn it down/Now turn it back up" FUCK'S SAKE CHRISTOPHER MAKE UP YOUR MIND DON'T CONFUSE THE DJ THE DJ CLEARLY HAS ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT

100) "Just Fine," Mary J. Blige

That Mary J. Blige isn't in Decade Dance is the harshest referendum I can offer on music in 2017

11.4.2017

82) "High End," by Chris Brown ft./Future & Young Thug

nope!

84) "Yours," by Russell Dickerson

oh so he’s country. goddamnit. and it's even the fake-deep ballad bullshit country. this is the song that plays during the first dance at your aunt's third wedding, but it was her first church wedding, the first time they eloped in vegas and the second time, well, you know, uncle jim was never one for crowds, so this her first chance to really have HER day, you know? she hasn't had HER day yet, and you know what, she's 46, she deserves her own day. it'll be a cash bar and you'll spend every second worrying the hot person from the groom's side of the family is technically your cousin now.

87) "Let You Down," by NF

from the cursory research i've done, there appears to be actual emotion behind this song, this isn't just sadness as a substitute for substance there's a backbone to it, so i'm not gonna giveit too much heck. i'm whelmed, but it'd also feel like an insult to say "i didn't like it," because it sounds like a song that wasn't made to get people to listen to nf, it was a song that was made because nf had shit to say, and i respect that.

95) "Stunting AIn't Nuthin," by Gucci Mane ft./Slim Jxmmi & Young Dolph

The AZLyrics page for this song contains five instances of [?] in Gucci Mane's verse. Even the people who like Gucci Mane enough to post his lyrics to the Internet know the lyrical content of a Gucci Mane song isn't worth listening to hard enough to figure out. I paid extra close attention. The blanks are as follows: Don't leave it to BEAVER, just leave it to me (this line is actually borderline clever) I'm at MAD CHRIS' every day of the week (this is a guess, but there's gotta be an ATL strip club named Mad Chris) A FOOL WITH THE CHEWIN' SHE'S chewin' the D (can't say I like it when people bite my dick but to each their own) THAT SOB got me weak in the knees (ok i can't figure this one out, Gucci Mane is trash) Give her THE TROPHY for throat of the week (her parents will put it on the mantle next to her diploma and the participation award from sixth grade gymnastics)

96) "Your Broke Up With Me," by Walker Hayes

MY DUDE. MY. DUDE. YOU. CAN. ABSOLUTELY NEVER. PUT WHISTLING IN YOUR SONG. IF YOU CAN'T WHISTLE. What is this trash? Why are you breathing into the microphone like that? Is this, what, did you accidentally mix your ASMR with your country song and were too lazy to fix the track? I hate this. That whistling sounds so bad. How are people buying this song? This is the most baffling thing I've ever heard.

97) "Mayores," by Becky G ft./Bad Bunny

oh good. a song where a 20-year-old says "i like them older." ...where did i fall on hey violet's "guys my age?" i think i was okay with it then, but man, you think about it now, and you think about this song, and you think about that paula deanda song where she sang "I may be a teen but that doesn't mean I can't party," and man, it's gross. i don't like that this happened.

98) "Ask Me How I Know," by Garth Brooks

barth grooks

Who won the week?

Well, somehow, the white Christian rapper took 2017 Song of the Week honors, so that’s already out. And in a battle between Mary J. Blige and a host of songs that ranged from Neat to Neat!, I’m gonna go with 1997 here.

Current standings: 1997: 17 2007: 12 2017: 14 1997 seems to be building an unassailable lead with the clock running down on a year that ends with 7, though if we’re being real, the last two weeks have been really week. Next week, though, we get a clash of the titans. 1997 enters “Kiss the Rain.” 2007 enters “Low.” 2017 is throwing a ton of Future + Young Thug spaghetti with a side of Tay Tay at the wall. Who will win? ...”Kiss the Rain”’ll prolly take it, like be real it’s “Kiss the Rain,” but we’ll see if 2007 has enough for an upset! (It doesn’t, 1997 has win 18.)