#8ut thatll 8e literally all there is to it and we'll assign things and ppl Good or 8ad and when smth goes against that diagnosis

[cornflowercanine]

i think... prolly not The 8iggest Issue 8ut an EXTREMELY common one i s33 in how issues are handled on here and adjacent discoursey places is that ppl treat .....perceived harm and not-harm(??????) as like, a point system. like they treat things that hurt or can hurt as this unconditional, unchanging, and that everything does the same Level of hurt 8c ppl arent s33ing it on like... a scale of what was said/done, the context it happened, how it hurt or didnt hurt the ppl involved, etc etc etc, theyre s33ing it as like some sort of one-and-done ohp it just sucks now, and that select things can only Take Away from it "8ecoming 8ad" suddenly (put under a cut cause i have a lot to say a8t this to convey what i mean)

like, for example if i had a specific rel8ionship with a friend where they say shit to me that SOUNDS mean o8jectively and would get put firmly in the Is 8ad Now section, 8ut no actual harm is 8eing done 8ecause they arent doing it for the sake of 8eing mean theyre doing it for the sake of pointing out when im doing smth shitty or purely unhelpful etc, and i specifically am comforta8le with it 8ecause i honest to god trust and know that they do sincerely care a8t me and are pointing out where im doing worse to help me out and 8ECAUSE they care a8out me and want to s33 me grow and using Harsh Language helps get it across to me and 8c we have esta8lished 8oundaries where they know what i am and am not comforta8le 8eing called or compared to or whatever, and that im comforta8le esta8lishing new 8oundaries or telling them to 8ack off even when the convo is a little tense, etc etc etc etc or on the flip side, also for example, if i never let others get a word in and would imply them to 8e stupid or joking or [insert other negative things here] whenever they said smth i disagr33d with or didnt like or what have you, and deli8er8ly make my friends/partners f33l like they cant have a say in our rel8ionships or what i or even they do or say 8c Theyre Stupid And Must 8e Joking, Right, and make fun of or discourage them talking a8t things they like or are excited a8t etc, and will even 8e outright mean and insensitive in priv8 sometimes, All Of These Things They Like And Do And Say 8eing Nonharmful, 8ut no8ody ever thinks im shitty 8c Outwardly im just So Nice And Sw33t and i never OUTRIGHT say anything mean to my friends right and SUUUUURE i mightve 8ullied someone unrelentingly in school when i was 14 8ut i don8 money to anti-8ullying charities every now and again Now so it's all made up for!! right!! right!!!!!!?!??!!!?!?!!!!! im not really sure how else to explain it, 8ut it reminds me a lot of 'thinking of oppression as a pokemon type effectiveness chart' shit; "every single mem8er of this group unconditionally has power and privilege over this group in every situ8ion and context always 8c this and this reason, 8UT W8 Sometimes mem8ers of the privileged group do/are this thing that unconditionally 8rings them 8ack down/closer to the level of the ppl they oppress so-" etc, just on a smaller scale that ppl apply to nearly everything ofc im not saying ive never done this, i think i do it more than i realize and more than id wanna admit, 8ut im trying to p33l away from it as much as i can and now that ive noticed it and have like, words for it, GOD do i s33 it in a lot of things on here