#55 fucking frames... and it's only like 4 seconds long..

[jadescortaurius1]

Approval

[silent-sentinels]

Plural Asking 100 Questions: Part 6!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

51. Are there any "System Stereotypes" you fit into? we're not sure what "system stereotypes" already exist? and otherwise we are a pretty not typical system i think lmao... we are INCREDIBLY FORGETFUL but that's not even a system thing that's just an adhd thing lmao...

52. Who of you would be considered the "evil alter"? (in a lighthearted, joking manner) oh lmao if we're going by outsider perception, probably Hackles. oooh scary angry facet~! honestly, the guy's just frustrated hkjhg you could probably also consider faucet and harlowe (<- she talks like a super villain sometimes. like "When will you finally give up your little games and return to reality? The clock is ticking. You know what must be done. I'll be waiting." type shit like. ma'am, respectfully, that's ominous as fuck hkjgh) but they just have their convictions set on specific beliefs. truly we all mean well and want what's best for ceres, even if we have different ideas of what that means.

53. What is your favorite inside-joke with a Member? god, the only one i can think of is the juliet-ryan infinite name loop that was just a solid week of them calling for each other after finding names that brought them euphoria. ALSO ELOQUENCE HAS THIS WHOLE RANT ABOUT THESAURUS DOT COM LOCKED AND LOADED IN THE DRAFTS HKJGH we reference "I DESPISE THE COCOMELON SHIT YOU HAVE BECOME" very frequently hkjhg

54. What is your favorite Plural meme? OH WAIT WE DIDN'T FUCKIN SHARE THESE HOLDO N HAKJSHSKJ

OKAY we made this EARLY in syscovery, Faucet didn't want us to share these at all with anyone, but [ ] is fine with it on here :] hkjhg so the first one is me (ryan), juliet and scotts, we're chilling we're the good time squad lmaooo :3!! and then the Autism Creature squad is archer, elle and expertise, who are The Infodump Crew hkjgh and the last one is hackles, distance and jaded. honestly jaded should be switched out with faucet, jaded is wayyy more tired than this even if he is a grump hkjhg just guys who are Not Having A Good Time hkjhg sorry gang :']

55. Is there any character that you headcanon as plural? harry!! we all know this already lmao. everyone knows this we don't have to explain this. if you're reading this you know already kjhg

56. Is there any show or movie that you believe is a good plural representation, despite that not being its intention? we are guys who do not watch many shows or movies hkjgh

Wander from Wander Over Yon.der has this whole episode called The Wanders where he gets split up into several different facets of himself and sylvia has to find every facet and bring them back to the body so he can be whole again? but like! throughout the show even before this, you can see several of the facets fronting ("The Boy Wander" being one of them, his superhero one, and another one who seems to be an OCD holder, many others) just generally we think he has plural coding hjkgh

57. Is there any song that you believe describes your plural experience? we've recently been vibing with "It's Only Magic", which is a 24 second long song that's used as an ending credits theme for OK.KO. it's about how animation is just 24 frames per second, but its also just like "isn't it cool once you find out we're just 24 connected pieces? anyway, thanks for being here, bye!" hfjkgh its silly but we like it and we haven't found a more fitting one yet, so!!

58. What about an artwork that describes your plural experience? oh this drawing of harry is a big fave of ours, how the lines of dialogue are written with little phrases out of context, the lines from harry's head and how the skills are behind him helping him! we think any skill halo imagery describes us well, but this one is one that sticks with us hkjhg

59. Which Member of your System do you believe to be the prettiest of them all? MOM!! MOM!! CHRYSANTHEMUM!! OUR MOM IS SO GORGEOUS SHES A GODDESS (FOR REAL)!! MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN EVER!!! EVERYONE LOOK AT HER!!!

our mom!! of roses and springtime, of nature and the bloom, our lady of the garden fountain, the ever-beloved chrysanthemum!!

60. Do you collectively have a lucky number? honestly probably 24 or 25 lmao

[bigskydreaming]

Brain topic du jour is reflecting on the frankly weird as fuck pattern in Dick’s life where....he barely ever experiences losses one at a time. Most of the loss he’s experienced in his life is compounded by him losing multiple people and other elements of stability all at the exact same time.

1) When his parents died, in some continuities this is coupled with him losing his extended family of his aunt and cousin as well, with his uncle left comatose and on life support for years before he eventually died as well. Even in continuities without Richard, Karla and John, the loss of Dick’s parents is compounded by the additional loss of his circus family in the sense that he was taken away from them by the state and their constant reassuring presences in his life were no longer comforts he was able to rely on.

2) When Jason died, Dick didn’t just lose his brother, as the tragedy was compounded by Bruce’s reaction. I’ll never be able to gloss over the effects of NTT #55, personally, because I think its too key to Dick’s entire characterization and the specific direction his character took in the years that followed this, to like....disregard that Bruce however unintentionally, while lost in his own grief, added to Dick’s own sense of loss for Jason in probably the worst way possible. As by kicking Dick out and telling him to leave his keys, Dick - having no way to know or guess that they’d ever reconcile, just like he never actually went back to the circus being a regular presence for him - to Dick, this was in essence the equivalent of his childhood tragedy all over again. Losing not just one family member, but his whole family in one sweep, and all the comforts and stability offered by a home he was forced to leave. Even Dick’s contact with Alfred was minimal for awhile, because why would the guy who basically JUST saw history repeat itself and was like, well I know how THIS tends to play out.....why would he think that if Alfred felt forced to actually choose between his loyalties to Bruce and Dick respectively, that Alfred would pick Dick over the man he’d known and raised from childhood himself?

3) Titans Hunt. I know I harp on this one a lot, but you can’t deny that it fits the pattern. Dick didn’t just lose one friend and teammate.....he lost Joey, he lost a good four or five lesser known Titans who nevertheless were people he viewed as directly HIS responsibility to keep safe. With these tragedies compounded by the fact that though comics played out a lot more slowburn and extended stories over years back then, like.....the aftermath of Titans Hunt was still everpresent and directly died into Dick’s reactions and emotions during the Mirage storyline and everything that happened with the failed wedding and his breakup with Kory AND the fact that he was literally forced off the team he’d basically founded, by the government agency that took over the team and appointed Roy as its leader in his stead.

3) Graduation Day. The second time the Titans disbanded it was again not due to a singular loss, because Dick didn’t just lose Donna at this point, but also Lilith died in the exact same story and though Lilith is criminally underused, like, she’s also one of Dick’s oldest friends. She was literally the first Titan to join after the original five. This then led into the Outsiders era, where Dick was shown to still be reeling from the losses of this story for an extended period of time, and in a fun parallel to the Titans Hunt aftermath, Dick was also ousted from his leadership of THIS team by essentially a vote of no confidence by his teammates (and uh, Bruce too, literally).

4) The Blockbuster arc. Where Dick’s emotional state was due to a continued string of multiple losses. He lost his apartment building and almost every one of the neighbors he’d built a community out of, as we’d been shown him actively involving himself in their lives and vice versa for YEARS before this point. Then he lost his circus, his childhood home, burned to the ground and with dozens of deaths - both spectators and actual performers Dick had known and loved as a child. Then he lost his relationship with Barbara, his sense of self-security and autonomy to Tarantula, he lost another teen vigilante who died in his colors, the mantle HE’D created, when Stephanie was believed dead in War Games, and it all culminated in losing the city he’d invested himself in as his CHOSEN home, the place he dedicated himself to protecting, when Chemo blew it up.

Oh just for the record - my nonexistent passport to the magical kingdom of Narnia for a fic that raises the point when bringing up Tim’s losses in the Red Robin era, that like.....ALL of the above happened at literally the EXACT SAME TIME as all Tim’s referenced losses occurred. Obviously Steph meant more to Tim than Dick on a personal level, but I also included her largely as an anchor point to the timeline, to show how that death, and not long after that Jack Drake’s and then Superboy’s.... occurred right smack in the middle of one of the absolute WORST periods of Dick’s life. To be clear, I don’t intend this to suggest that no actually, Dick had it harder than Tim - nah. 

No thank you. Hard pass. I hate that sort of thing even in support of my own faves over other characters. No, instead the thing I’d love to see explored more is just in light of the SPECIFIC angle fics take here - that Dick’s actions while Bruce was lost in time showed an obliviousness to everything Tim had lost lately - for literally ANYONE to bring up or introduce into the timeline here an awareness of everything Dick had lost AT THE EXACT SAME TIME PERIOD. To establish that actually, Dick didn’t just ‘not understand what it was like’ - rather, its more accurate to say that nobody in universe around this time ever shows an awareness of Dick’s own losses and says oh wait, that doesn’t track then. 

Because obviously, with this stuff put in proper perspective, Dick understands VERY VERY WELL the exact thing we’re accusing him of not understanding by being oblivious to Tim’s losses that he’s not actually oblivious to because he tries to talk to Tim about them all the time, while meanwhile its everyone else who has absolutely mum to say about the fact that Dick’s emotional state is compromised to hell and back at this point, not JUST because of losing Bruce, but also because *gestures wildly* literally ALL OF THE ABOVE in the exact same time frame Tim’s extended losses happened in.

And okay I am going to indulge in slight tiny itty bitty pettiness and point out my ire that so many fics set during this time tend to recite listicles of Tim’s losses, with Steph, Kon and Jack Drake at the very top of said list....while paying no attention whatsoever to the fact that STEPH WAS LITERALLY BACK BY THE TIME THE RED ROBIN SERIES HAPPENED. She’s LITERALLY a person Dick sends to check up on Tim after Tim turns Dick away when he tries himself. How are you gonna stress the impact Steph’s loss has on Tim when you’re not even acknowledging STEPH’S RIGHT HERE IN THE EXACT SPECIFIC CANON STORY YOU’RE CITING??? I just. afhioskhflafhlafhklfahlfa. 

And not to put too fine a point on it, but you know who ELSE was also back at the same time? CONNOR. Superboy LITERALLY was already back to life by the time the Red Robin series even began. Like, the issue where a resurrected Kon and Cassie (Wonder Girl) have a heart to heart about the fact that Tim and Cassie ‘connected’ during his absence and Connor stresses that this doesn’t bother him or make him feel negatively towards either of them at all, because hello, he was literally dead at the time, why would he mind that two of the people he loves most in the world sought comfort in each other? Yeah, that issue? Literally came out BEFORE Tim even became Red Robin.

I MEAN. I’m just saying, when people constantly take shots at Dick’s choices during this period because of how much Tim had lost before Bruce already, in order to shift focus away from the fact that Dick lost Bruce every bit as much as Tim did......and you repeatedly emphasize the SAME three names as the focal point of Tim’s losses while paying no acknowledgment whatsoever to everything Dick lost at the exact same time Tim lost these three.....it quickly becomes kiiiiiiinda relevant in my opinion THAT TWO OF THE THREE NAMES CONSTANTLY MENTIONED AS BEING TIM’S LOSSES ARE NO LONGER EVEN LOST BY THE TIME THE SUBJECT COMES UP. Again, I’m just saying! Pettily, mind you! I am aware of the pettiness, I just beg awareness of like *again gesticulates wildly at all of the above* ALL THAT!

LOL.

But I digress.

5) When Bruce was believed dead while he was lost in the timestream. Again, Dick didn’t just lose the father who had been the only parent in his life for almost TWICE as long as his first parents......this was coupled with the loss of numerous other sources of stability in Dick’s life. There’s the matter of his personal sense of identity and self-expression....Dick FOUGHT against becoming Batman, trying to handle Gotham in Bruce’s absence as Nightwing for as long as he could, because he knew being Batman was very much NOT going to be good for him. He put so much of himself into building his identity as Nightwing, establishing himself in that role, that self-image, that yes, I maintain it was an actual LOSS for Dick, to feel like he had no choice but to give that up and everything it meant to him and his own life, in order to essentially live Bruce’s life for him in his absence. 

Because it wasn’t just being Batman that Dick was struggling with at this time....he also had to act as the patriarch to the Wayne family, essentially raise Bruce’s ten year old son, step into Bruce’s old role in Wayne Enterprises, all while getting no acknowledgment for any of this, for literally LIVING his father’s life instead of the life Dick had worked so hard to build for HIMSELF....because of course Dick’s actions and struggles couldn’t even be advertised beyond the family and close friends, because the whole point of him doing all this was so that nobody else even realized that Bruce wasn’t really there anymore. Dick didn’t just assume Bruce’s responsibilities. Dick assumed Bruce’s life, so thoroughly that most people didn’t even put together that Bruce was ‘dead,’ between Dick handling Bruce’s actual roles and responsibilities while Hush made public appearances as him. 

Like, when you’re living someone else’s life so completely that nobody can tell they’re even gone....how on earth does that leave any time or space for you to have ANY kind of life of your OWN, y’know? Not to mention the fact that like in so many times previously....all this meant that Dick couldn’t even afford to let his grief for his own losses show, because he wasn’t supposed to be grieving any losses in the first place, that was the whole point of the con!

Additionally, couple this with the fact that throughout this time period, Dick didn’t have Tim to lean on at all, because it was never that Dick kicked Tim out or neglected him or didn’t care....he’d actively stressed how much he needed Tim, because the partner Tim was convinced Dick chose ‘over’ him - Dick was the first one to admit back then that he DIDN’T trust Damian yet, couldn’t afford to, because he was all too aware that Damian didn’t give a fuck about him yet and couldn’t be guaranteed to step in to have Dick’s back - because that required mutual trust that Dick literally just hadn’t had time to build yet. And add to THAT the fact that during this time, Jason was actively antagonizing the family and Dick in particular at every turn, trying to bring them all down and basically write over what all of them saw as Bruce’s legacy with Jason’s own version of what he thought that should look like.

Also also, take into account that unlike how often we see fanon depict Dick as just too stubborn or proud to ask for help, there’s the fact that he actually had very few avenues TO ask for help! As already established, he DID ask Tim for help. Not like Jason was an option at this time, and Dick’s friends weren’t actually just sitting waiting in the wings and groaning about the fact that Dick was trying to do all of this solo....nah, they kinda had their own problems, which Dick was all too aware of?

Like the fact that in the wake of Final Crisis, it wasn’t just Bruce that was believed lost. Many other key Leaguers like Martian Manhunter were dead or lost, with others struggling to fill the gaps left in their absence. Cry For Justice happened right after Final Crisis too....that story where Lian was murdered? So it wasn’t like Dick was remotely going to try leaning on Roy when Roy had just lost his freaking DAUGHTER and very much wasn’t handling it well (and not to overshadow Roy’s loss at ALL, but please let’s not act like Dick - who had literally been the person to put a baby Lian in Roy’s arms for the first time and had known that girl for pretty much her entire life - like, it shouldn’t be used to detract from Roy’s loss at all, but it shouldn’t have to, to just acknowledge that Lian’s loss right at this exact time was painful as fuck to Dick, who’d loved his niece like crazy.)

The pattern of compounding, concurrent losses in Dick’s life. I’m just saying. Its there.

And it extends into the New 52 as well, where Forever Evil came right on the heels of Dick losing his circus in THIS continuity to the Joker, just as a way to hurt him in Death of A Family. And with the aftermath of Forever Evil and Dick’s own literal death, being like....the complete loss of Dick’s entire life, even though he was revived quickly. That didn’t mean he got to live HIS life though, since Dick Grayson was believed dead and he was told had to remain so, so its like fuck whatever he actually wanted to do as he went about on the Spyral mission aka something that pinched his own sense of morality and personal agenda at every turn and was kinda the last thing a therapist would recommend for a trauma recovery period, lol. And like, for all the focus that was paid to how Dick’s family were hurt because they believed they’d lost him when he was actually alive, let’s not forget that for all intents and purposes, Dick DID lose his family in the wake of his resurrection because he was flat out told over and over that due to what ‘he’d LET happen to him’ he was an ACTIVE danger to them, and thus wasn’t allowed by Bruce to contact any of them or lean on them to any degree, until Bruce got amnesia and stopped blocking Dick’s pleas to return home by just not being there to pick up the secret phone line at all. 

(And omg, the obliviousness that just EMANATES off the hot takes that Dick had a ‘choice’ in all this and he still CHOSE to do what Bruce told him....like. LOLOL, stop being pissy about me bringing up the term abuse apologism when its literal victim blaming to paint the guy who had to be beaten into ‘agreeing’ to the Spyral mission in the immediate wake of the trauma of DYING, all while his father vocally blamed him for his own suffering and the ‘threat’ he now posed to his family, keying directly into the guilt complex Bruce knows damn well is at the core of most of Dick’s motivations.....fucking please. There’s no choice in all that. That’s active emotional, mental and physical abuse aimed at directly manipulating Dick’s actions, delivered by the guy who knows Dick best in the world and whose approval - particularly when Dick is at absolute rock bottom aka Current Location - matters more to Dick than just about anything because his sense of self-worth has more in common with dog shit than actual dog shit does. Or something. Idk. That analogy got away from me. But like. You get it.)

BUT. I. DIE. GRESS. (I guess).

Aaaaaaanyway, so yeah! That repeating pattern throughout Dick’s life of ‘loss? What loss (singular)? My losses only come in groups, lolol, fuuuuuun’ - mmmm. Yeah. So that’s what’s on MY brain right now. Thoughts?

[bakuliwrites]

I posted 464 times in 2022

That's 464 more posts than 2021!

219 posts created (47%)

245 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@arsenicxarcana

@bakuliwrites

@epoch-smog

@helpiminhell

@ask-count-lulu

I tagged 452 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#the arcana - 193 posts

#lucio morgasson - 102 posts

#julian devorak - 87 posts

#count lucio - 55 posts

#beautiful artwork - 54 posts

#dani writes - 50 posts

#nadia satrinava - 46 posts

#dani admins - 42 posts

#dani shares a random thought - 33 posts

#nanami kento - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my friends and family bought me drawing lessons so i'm going to take some and hopefully feel confident enough to post my drawings of her so

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Elliott: The lobster slippers stay ON during sex

289 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#4

Work Hard, Play Hard- Kento Nanami x Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Relationship: Kento Nanami x Reader

Summary: Nanami is working overtime, until he sees a text from you that he can't resist.

Tags: PIV, Oral, Brief s*xting, Kitchen S*x.

A/N: OhmyGod, Kento Nanami. I haven't fallen this hard for a fictional character in a hot minute. He looks like an accountant with drip. He would do my taxes for me and it would be the hottest thing ever. He's probably paid off his mortgage, has a 401k, and a designated spot in his house for his keys and briefcase. I bet you he knows how to fold a fitted sheet and tuck the corners into the bed. This man is immaculate and I am here for it. Expect more Kento Nanami content from me because I'm a thirsty disaster. As always, thank you for reading! Likes/reblogs are always much appreciated! Lots of love &lt;3

Read here in this post or over on my AO3.

Kento leans his head back, a deep sigh escaping his lips. He eyes the clock, watching as the second hand moves like molasses past each number. Overtime sucks. Work sucks. All he wants is to go home, to be in the comfort of your presence, and to enjoy a quiet evening, just the two of you. But instead, he’s stuck here, trapped in this corporate world until he’s finished his goddamn work. 

He straightens up again. Maybe if he powers through, he can go home in the next half an hour. The harsh light from the computer screen stabs at his eyes. The office is empty aside from him, dead quiet except for the occasional clack of his keyboard and the bloop from the water tank in the far corner. He’s about to get up to make himself another cup of coffee when he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. It must be you, asking where he is and when he’s going to be home. He pulls his cellphone from his pocket, exhausted gaze sweeping over the screen. But when he unlocks it, his eyes fly wide open. 

The picture that greets him is you in an apron, and nothing but an apron. The apron ties frame the curve of your hips. Your breasts threaten to spill out of your minimal clothing, and you’ve got a little smudge of flour on your cheek. The longer he stares at the picture, the more Kento wonders if it’s worth finishing up his work. Then he reads the text underneath.

You better come home soon, or I’m going to start without you ;), you threaten. 

“Fuck overtime,” Kento mutters to himself, shoving his phone back in his pocket and grabbing his coat. He’s hauling ass to get home. He can finish his work later. He’s got much better things to do right now. Traffic on the way feels like it’s against him. The strain of his growing bulge in his pants is getting painful. He’s desperate now to get home to you, to lift up the hem of that apron of yours and bury himself inside you. He’s never one to look at his phone while driving. Safety always comes first. But he’s awfully tempted. And with how long this drive is taking, he’s even more tempted. 

What feels like hours pass and then, dear God, he’s finally home. Kento pulls into the driveway and barely waits for his car to come to a stop before he’s leaping out and bounding up the front steps. The house is cozy and smells pleasantly of warm bread baking in the oven. 

“Kento?” he hears your voice call out as he drops off his keys and briefcase in their designated spot in the hallway. And then he sees you, peeking around the corner in the kitchen, a mischievous look in your eye. 

“What happened to your overtime?” you tease, twirling a strand of your hair around your index finger. 

“No more overtime from this moment forward,” he returns matter-of-factly, tugging off his coat and striding confidently towards you. Before you can even say a word, his lips are crashing into yours, kisses sloppy and hungry. His large hands rove rapaciously along your body, kneading the tender flesh of your hips. 

“I missed you today,” you whimper at him when he allows you a moment to breathe. 

“Hmmm,” he hums pleasantly, suckling your neck and luxuriating in the tiny moans you’re letting out, “I missed you, too.” 

You tug at his leopard-print tie, pulling him towards the dining table. The look he gives you is deliciously pathetic, wanton and needy. His brows are furrowed and the angles of his cheeks are flushed. When the small of your back hits the edge of the table, you stop and start to undo his belt. 

“Baby, this must hurt,” you coo, palming his bulge and watching as his eyes flutter shut, “No wonder you hurried home.”

Kento smirks as he masterfully rips off his tie with one hand, the other occupied with grabbing handfuls of your ass. His lips are back to pressing messy kisses to yours. His tongue traces your teeth, exploring the familiar warmth of your mouth. With his belt off, you manage to undo his buttons and yank down his trousers and boxer briefs. They pool around his feet and out springs his cock, the tip angry and pink. 

“So needy, my love,” you hum, cupping his balls and massaging, before teasingly dragging your fingertip along the underside of his shaft. He shivers under your touch, an unintentional husky keen escaping his lips. With the pad of your thumb, you smear the little bead of cum that’s formed at his tip. But before you can go any further, he stays your hand, deep brown eyes dead serious as they gaze into yours. 

“Wait,” he begins, voice low and commanding, “Allow me.” 

Kento gently picks you up, sitting you atop the kitchen table. He lifts the hem of your apron, revealing your already soaking folds to the cool air. All he wants is to taste you, to feel you glide along his tongue. He’s thought about it his whole ride home: your wet pussy against his lips. Your sweet succor on his taste buds. After the day he’s had, it’s all he can think of to relieve his stress. 

“Spread your legs a little wider for me, princess,” he begs, kneeling to the ground. You follow his instructions and let him pull you closer to the edge of the table. Kento Nanami buries his handsome face between your legs, trailing kisses along the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs. His warm breath fans against your heat as he glances up at you to make sure you’re ready. You nod quietly, watching as he dives in. His tongue swipes up your slick, nose bumping against your clit, sending electric tingles through your body. His hands grasp at the supple flesh of your hips, kneading as his tongue darts in and out of your entrance. You throw your head back, letting out a salacious moan as Kento expertly eats you out. Your fingers tangle in his blonde hair, each gilded strand soft against your skin. 

“Ah! Kento,” you whine, heat blooming across your face, “You’re so good to me.” 

His hum reverberates through your body and he draws his attention away from your entrance. His tongue swirls deftly around your clit, languid at first, teasingly slow. You gently rock your hips in time with his motions, one hand still tangled in his hair, the other cupping your left breast. It drives Kento wild when you play with your tits while he’s busy with your heat. You catch him glancing up at you, one of his hands leaving your hip so he can stroke himself. 

“Kento, I’m so close,” you whimper, feeling the fire in your core burn brighter. He picks up his pace, tongue circling faster, each flick bringing you closer and closer to ecstasy. 

“Come for me, princess,” his husky voice commands when he leans back for air, before diving in once again, this time relentlessly circling your clit. Your hips rock faster as Kento’s tongue works its magic. With a cry of his name, the fire in you bursts like a supernova, and you come undone. Kento’s hands grip your hips, keeping you in place so he can finish you off properly. He laps you up like the sweetest elixir he’s ever tasted, luxuriating in your ecstasy. 

See the full post

321 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

A night in with Kento Nanami (one-shot, slight spice):

He invites you over to his place. A nice apartment not too far from the office building he used to work in. On the elevator ride up, you look yourself over in the mirror, smoothing over any wrinkles in your dress, making sure there are no stray hairs on your head. When you reach his doorway, you knock softly. A second later, the door swings open, and there he is: blonde hair slicked back and parted perfectly, deep brown eyes twinkling with quiet joy at the sight of you. Over his dark blue button down and tan dress pants, he's wearing a pink apron with little cat faces printed on it (a gag gift from Gojo that he secretly really likes). He's not wearing a tie and it's the most casual you've ever seen him. The sight of his collarbone alone is enough to make you blush; a silly notion but, it's true. He's always so buttoned up.

Kento invites you in, offers to take your coat for you, and guides you towards the kitchen, where something simmers softly on the stove. It smells heavenly, whatever it is. His apartment is immaculate: minimalist and clean, not a thing out of place. He has a couple plants in the windowsill, low-maintenance ones that are hard to kill. He offers you a glass of chilled white wine and says dinner will be ready shortly. As he makes his finishing touches, you chit-chat quietly with him about the day. Something you say makes him laugh, and it's music to your ears.

Dinner is delicious and happens to be one of your favorite dishes. He remembered how much you like it and thought he would try his hand at making it himself. You tell him it's turned out perfectly. You catch the little blush that blooms across the angles of his cheeks when you compliment him. He tells you that you're too kind. You toast to each other, to the future, to wondrous possibilities. Mischief sparkles in your eyes as you bring your wine glass to your lips. You swap life stories, mostly ridiculous ones. He's got plenty of wild stories about his school days (and even more about Gojo). Kento listens so intently when you speak. He asks you questions, wants to know you, and remembers all the little things you've said before.

After dinner, you offer up the pastries you picked up on your way over. Kento is delighted and makes a pot of coffee for you both to share. When dessert is finished and the plates are cleared away, the two of you retreat to his living room. Finance magazines sit in a small stack on the coffee table alongside this morning's newspaper. The city lights twinkle beyond the apartment windows, mimicking the stars above. Slow R&B plays quietly in the background and all you really want to do is dance. Together, you and Kento sway gently to the music, his arms wrapped around you, your hands resting on his chest. He seems so calm, but you can feel the wild flutter of his heart under his ribs. It's cute, how nervous he is. Unflappable Kento Nanami, as nervous as a schoolboy with you in his arms.

You rest your cheek against him, the fabric of his shirt soft. He smells like fresh laundry and cologne. Kento presses a lingering kiss to the top of your head, before you lean up to capture his lips with yours. After a little while, you find yourselves seated on his couch, cuddled close. His hand is on your thigh, fingers softly grazing the skin just beneath the hem of your dress. Your fingers play with the buttons on his shirt. His eyes are locked on yours, and yours, his. The hour is late and the conversation deep. He tells you about all the books on his shelf that he hasn't gotten around to reading yet. You share your deepest insecurities. He reassures you, before sharing his. You wonder what he wants out of life and realize it's the same thing you're looking for. This moment changes everything. It's something you can both feel. A spark, like starlight.

You close the distance between the two of you. His fingers tangle in your hair, your tongue traces his lips. He tastes sweet like the pastries you brought. His hands explore every inch of you, and you want to know every part of him. You're aware of every sensation, every caress, every kiss, every breath. You're drunk on Kento, like he's drunk on you. Kento lifts you off the couch, carries you back to his room, and lays you carefully on his bed. His shirt was long ago discarded, and your dress spends the night on his bedroom floor.

Kento Nanami makes love to you, slow and tender, his hips rolling rhythmically with yours. When he cries out your name, it's like a hymn. And when you call his, it's just as lyrical. His heated kisses trail along your body, his hands searching desperately. His muscles relax under your touch, and his whispered praise is enough to send you reeling. Kento's velvet voice sounds those three words you've wanted to say for so long, "I love you." And when you return them, you feel relief flood your body. After it's said, you can't stop saying it, and neither can he. Amongst giggles and kisses, you and Kento repeat it over and over again.

His afterglow is rosy and pure. Kento's face is so serene as he slumbers that night, holding you close, breath fanning softly against you as he sleeps. You feel safe in his arms. It's the best night of sleep either of you have had in a long time.

In the morning, the two of you make breakfast together. Laughter fills his kitchen and sunlight streams through the windows. This time is blissful, sacred, and joyous. The corners of Kento's eyes crinkle when he smiles. He looks at you like you are his everything, his whole world. You feel the same. This could be your forever. You want this to be your forever. And something about this moment tells you it will be.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I wrote this in a frenzy. Just a short little fluff (and slightly spicy) piece for Nanami. He's all I can think about right now. Gosh, this man just really does it for me. Love of my life &lt;3

348 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#2

M6 and Sexy Keepsakes

Here's a little headcanon of some sultry little keepsakes that I think the M6 would keep on them when they are away from MC. Spicy, of course. 18+, Minors DNI!

An enchanted necklace MC helped craft for him that sends delightful tingles through his body when he caresses it. He and MC made matching necklaces together. They combined their powers to imbue it with deeply personal magic. The process of creating it was intensely intimate, involving a union of both the physical and metaphysical.

The necklace is fairly subtle in the way it looks, made of moonstone and citrine. The crystals hang on an antique bronze chain that dips low under the collar of his shirt. It pulses a gentle, familiar energy where it rests against his heart. Whenever he travels, he makes sure to wear it. He feels joyously flustered when he remembers the day he and MC created it. He likes to relive that memory a lot.

Asra makes sure to wear the necklace every time he communicates with MC via his water skype (I saw someone call it that once and that's honestly the only way I can think of it now, haha). MC's matching necklace has a magical connection to Asra's, which the two can certainly have some fun with...

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472 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Upon a Forest Throne, Thranduil x Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS DNI)

Fandom: The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings

Relationship: Thranduil x Reader

Summary: As Thranduil's Queen-to-Be, you worry his subjects will not accept you. So the Elven King takes it upon himself to show you just how worshipped you are.

Read here in this post or over on my AO3.

The air in the dining hall is stifling. A cacophonous din of voices swirls through the air, weighty and suffocating. Eyes fall on you: some curious, others disdainful. 

Interloper, they speak wordlessly, glaring pointedly, Fraud. Thief. 

From where you sit at the head of the table, you can sense every guest, every dignitary, trying to feel you out. Attempting to figure out the woman who has claimed their King’s heart, and is soon to claim the throne beside his. Thranduil seems to take no heed of the accusatory glowering and inquisitive gawking. His cool and collected gaze sweeps over his guests before settling on you. You try not to show your discomfort, smiling softly at your betrothed, but the way your hands fidget with the sleeves of your gown betray your growing unease. Thranduil’s dark brows crinkle, his striking azure eyes awash with concern. But before he can say anything to you, he’s interrupted by an attendant furtively whispering something in his ear. He nods in understanding and the attendant scampers off.

“Esteemed guests,” the Elven King’s commanding voice rings through the room, voices falling away to silence, “I invite you to join us in the adjoining salon for after dinner drinks.” 

One by one, people rise from their seats, followed by the clink of silverware being abandoned on plates and the scrape of chairs scooting out from the table. You and Thranduil are the last to rise, trailing after your guests as they file into the room next door. 

“Meleth nîn,” your voice sounds, barely above a whisper, halting your beloved in his tracks. He looks to you, handsome face scrunched with concern.

“What troubles you?” he hushes, taking this private moment to pass his thumb gently across your cheek. 

“Might I have a moment on my own? I’ll join you when I’m finished. I just need a few minutes of quiet,” you request. The crease between Thranduil’s brow deepens. Air falters in your chest, lungs constricting with the anxiety of having to face that whole room staring you down. This is supposed to be a private dinner meant to introduce you to other Elven dignitaries from across Middle Earth. To test to see how you might get along with them as Mirkwood’s Queen-to-Be. Yet, here you are, wanting to escape. The tension is too much to handle. You’ve put on a brave face all night, made small talk with people who obviously don’t want to get to know you, and have been scrutinized like some sort of wretched specimen. You need just a few undisturbed moments to gather yourself before you repeat this all over again.  

“You need not ask me for permission,” Thranduil reassures, softly beaming, “Take as much time as you need.” 

You slip your hand into his, giving it a small squeeze before you flit through the hallways in search of a more tranquil place. Lost in thought, you allow your feet to carry you where they may. Your steps echo through the grand halls of the palace as you wander aimlessly, mind fixated on the piercing gazes that still seem to prickle along your skin. You find yourself standing before the throne. Swirling tendrils of branches creep their way up the sides and back. Large antlers hang imposingly at the top, mighty and grand. A reminder of the power of the Elf King, himself. 

You imagine Thranduil, draped languidly across the throne, his robes spilling over the sides. His subjects look adoringly upon him, admiration and respect in their eyes. And then there’s you. A foreigner and a thief to them. They glare at you from your place beside your soon-to-be husband. Their distaste for you is clear. They’ve made no attempts to hide it. They’d grown used to a kingdom with one ruler. And now here you are, a usurper. Parvenu, you heard one whisper once as you passed them in the hallway. Your sudden fame and status seem hardly fair to them. Earned only because you’ve somehow managed to “bewitch” their King. Though you are an Elf, you are not of Mirkwood, nor are you of any important lineage; and, this troubles them. 

“You radiate sorrow tonight, meleth nîn,” Thranduil’s velvety voice sounds from somewhere behind you, startling you out of your thoughts. You whirl around to face him, mouth pursed and brows crinkled. 

“I didn’t realize how tragic I must appear,” you return, chuckling ruefully. He smiles softly at you, gracefully ascending the staircase to meet you before his throne. 

“Not tragic,” he reassures, his silver-blonde hair cascading down around his shoulders, “But melancholy enough for your betrothed to notice. What troubles your heart?” 

“Shouldn’t you be with our guests?” you venture, feeling guilty for taking him away from his royal duties. And knowing his guests must be gossiping about you this very moment, horrified that you would take their King away from them, blaming you for his absence. 

“They can wait,” Thranduil responds, cupping your cheek in the warmth of his palm, “I have far more important matters to attend to.” 

You allow your eyelids to flutter shut, pressing your cheek further into Thranduil’s touch, comforted by his quiet presence. To many, he is unapproachable, aloof and intimidating. But he has shown you a tenderness and gentility most others are not privy to. 

“I fear your subjects do not accept me. And never will,” you breathe, inhaling his familiar scent. Your nose fills with autumn spice and forest rain, settling your racing heart and laying to rest some of your most fretful thoughts. 

“Why do you say that?” your betrothed’s even voice inquires. You feel him place his hand on the small of your back and draw you into his chest. You lean your cheek against him, listening to the quiet thrum of his heart. 

“I see the way they look at me when I am at your side,” you explain, wanting so desperately to remain locked in his embrace for the remainder of the night, knowing full well that you will eventually have to return to the party, “I’m an intruder to them. Someone who has stolen the affection of their King and used it to rise in their ranks. I sense their disdain for the strange woman who’s dared to promise herself to their royalty and take the throne as her own.”

Thranduil leans back, a stern look cemented firmly on his face. His eyes are serious as they meet yours, filled with their usual regal sheen.

“They will warm to you. Many of them have only known one of their own to sit atop this throne,” he gives a sweeping gesture towards his chair, guiding you up to it, “But as they come to know you, I expect their hostile sentiment to dissipate. And for those that remain disdainful of you- well, their ignorance is truly without end.”

“What if they feel I am not worthy?” you fret, allowing your fingers to graze the end of one knotted arm of the throne, before pulling away as if scalded by it. 

“You have proven your worth to me, and more,” Thranduil reasons, gently taking your hand in his and placing it back on the throne. He holds it there for a moment, grasp firm but not too tight, making sure you feel the wood grain beneath your fingertips. Ensuring that you feel that this throne is just as much yours as it is his. 

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530 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[gendercraft]

Outlast: Revisited [Chapter Seven: Miles]

Read on ao3

Synopsis: I’m rewriting Outlast where the first game and Whistleblower are combined, Miles and Waylon are more connected, and also they kiss

Trigger warnings: Sexual assault plus everything already in the game; eye gore; the gore actually gets kinda intense here; let me know if i missed anything

Miles’ shoulders nearly popped out of their sockets as he gripped the ledge. 

He thanked God for his sudden interest in mountain climbing, awakened by his urban exploring as a teenager, as he swung his body to the slide, carefully scaling the ledge. If he fell, he’d break his leg, at best. His muscles screamed as he moved. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to continue until he made it to the next open window. He listened carefully. 

Dead silence. 

There was nowhere else to go. If the twins were still there, they would kill him. He grinded his teeth and forced through the strain in his muscles to swing himself over the ledge. 

The twins were gone. 

Breathing heavily, Miles allowed himself a moment of rest. 

There was a broken window next to him that led into a security room. He glanced at the sheet of paper on the counter. 

 MURKOFF CORP. P.G. MAINTENANCE MEMO 

 Proper Purge Gate maintenance is crucial to PROJECT WALRIDER security. Please refer to Murkoff Corp. Maintenance Manual MMPSMM180286 or seek guidance from a supervisor with the proper security clearance. 

 Miles scoffed and tossed it aside. Hopping back into the hall, the blood led him to a locked door labelled SHOWERS. He’d have to find the keycard. 

The decontamination chamber was broken, jerking a few inches closed then back open, the lights all off. Miles brought up his nightvision, coating his world in green, and stepped through into the equally dark hallway. The hall led to a walkway around another cellblock, blocked off by a railing and a grated screen. 

“NO!” Someone below yelled. “ARGH!” 

Miles shut off his night vision and pointed his camera to the lit cell block, where Chris Walker held a Variant up by their neck. He pulled, slowly, his muscles straining, until the skin around the man’s neck tore and blood spurt everywhere. Walker held the head up high as the body slumped to the ground. 

With shaking hands, Miles pulled out his notebook. 

 I can’t shake Chris Walker, the big ugly fucker who likes ripping off people’s heads. I hear him muttering about security protocols, containment. What if he’s not the problem? What if he’s trying to fix it? 

 At the end of the hall, he found the keycard on a dead security guard. He snatched it without touching the body and hurried back to the showers, where the reader beeped and let him inside. He brought up his night vision again and crept through. He wasn’t in the showers quite yet, instead an L-shaped hallway where lockers at the base of the L. As he moved towards the stem, open windows let in the thundering rain on the right side, on his left another grated wall. He got about halfway down the stem when one of the twins stepped through the darkness into the night vision. His machete glinted in the moonlight. 

Miles stopped. He took a few steps backwards. 

Thunk. Thunk. 

Footsteps. Behind him. 

Whoosh! He leapt out of the way just as the machete jabbed where his torso had been. Cornered between the twins, his heart slammed against his chest, his breathing coming out in huffs. 

Motherfucker. The only way was… 

Somehow, he found himself jumping out of another window to escape these… monsters. He caught himself on the ledge and nearly slipped on the rainwater, gasping and dangling his legs. 

Bracing his feet against the brick wall, he got a hold of himself. 

“My god. He vanished.” Leftie’s dry purr sounded through the window. 

“Vanished without a trace.” 

“I detect sarcasm.” 

“It was my intention.” 

Miles strafed across the ledge, trying not to look down. Not that he could see in the darkness. The only sense he managed was the cold rain against his back. 

“He thinks we’re assholes.” 

Yeah. 

Miles scaled the side of the building. Don’t look down. Don’t look down. His hand slipped against the rain, he hung by the fingers on his right hand. 

“Or stupid.” 

He groaned through his teeth as he slung his arm back over to grip the edge. Sweat and rain mixed. He made it to the next open window, and he just had to pray they wouldn’t see him swing inside. 

“Let’s pull him in and slit his belly open.” 

Miles gripped the ledge of the window. It took all his strength not to groan out as he dragged himself inside. He fell to the ground with a soft thump. 

“Wait. Just a moment.” 

Get up. Get up, Miles. Get up. 

He couldn’t move his arms. 

Come on Miles, get up. Before they see you. 

“What is it?” 

“I heard something.” 

He couldn’t get up. He flipped onto his back and pushed himself with his feet. If they saw him, maybe he’d get a few seconds headstart while they laughed. 

He made it to the end of the hall, which turned left, and flipped onto all fours, starting the run from below and slowly straightening up as he gained momentum. He used his wet keycard to get himself into the next hallway, shutting the door behind him. He didn’t feel safe stopping. Through another grated gate, he found a room with large tiled flooring and two large cells. 

And a chair in the centre. A chair with arm and leg restraints, a hole in the centre of the seat, and straps to the back. The wood was polished with blood. 

On the table, there was a piece of paper—a death certificate. 

 Please find attached a copy of the DEATH CERTIFICATE for RUDOLF G. WERNICKE, Murkoff Psychiatric Systems subcontractor no. 148616. No surviving family. 

 Length of residence in city or town where death occured: 0 years, 7 months 

How long in U.S., if of foreign birth: 55 years 

... 

Birthplace: Germany 

Date of Death: February 28th, 2009 

I hereby certify: 

that I attended deceased from June 4, 2003, to February 28, 2009 

that I saw him alive on February 27, 2009, that death occurred on the date stated above at 4:11 AM. 

 So despite being unequivocally dead, he still had a large enough effect on this place to bring it down from the inside. Was it just his research, his experiments? Were they that ‘good’ that they couldn’t die with him? 

Miles couldn’t help but believe the whistleblower would have more information. They had to meet. They had to put the story together, together. 

How could he find them? 

The patients. Someone would have to know. They could point Miles in the right direction. 

The patients that weren’t trying to kill him, at least. 

He left the room and continued carefully through the halls until he found another security room. About three quarters to the back of the room, there was a desk below an open air vent. Slamming the button to open the decontamination chamber, he was barely paying attention. Then the grunts came. 

Chris Walker stepped into the chamber, green gas surrounding him like whispering snakes. He pounded on the glass, once, twice, CRACK! Miles gasped and whipped around. He sprinted to the closed door, only to yank at the handle uselessly. Blood roared in his ears. It locked behind him?! 

He checked the other door, behind the desk, as the glass shattered. Locked as well. “FUCK!” He kicked it as hard as he could, not that that did anything besides maybe break one of his toes, and turned around. 

Walker climbed through the empty frame, broken glass digging into his skin and sticking there, huffing and snorting like a bull. He stood like one too, arms ready to catch Miles if he tried racing past, sat in a horse stance. Miles couldn’t get to that window. He couldn’t open the doors. 

He was trapped. 

Walker charged him. His footsteps thunked, shook the ceiling, slow and deliberate. Miles leapt out of the way as Walker swung his arms out. Miles looped around the desk, ran for the window, only for Walker to grab him by the back of his shirt. Miles choked against the neck, flailing and thrashing uselessly. 

Walker held him in the air by his throat. One hand gripped his hip. He was being pulled apart, skin stretching, straining, his vision turning black, his eyes watering. He flailed and kicked and thrashed and flailed until—SMACK! Walker dropped Miles and held his now-bleeding nose. It reawakened the pain in Miles’ toe, but he ignored it in favour of leaping onto the desk and into the air vent. It led him back into the hallway. Walker slammed on the door, and it was ready to come off its hinges. 

He made a dash for the decontamination chamber. It was close, he could make it. 

Swinging the grated door open, he charged through. Fire erupted from the chamber. Miles’ eyebrows furrowed, but he couldn’t stop moving, not with Walker right behind him. Maybe he could avoid the flames. Maybe he could— 

“FUCK!” 

Just as he reached it, it exploded, sending him flying through the nearby window and plummeting to the ground in the cell blocks. When he hit, it knocked all the wind out of him, nothing but strangled screams tearing from his throat. 

Something had broken his fall. Something had saved his life. 

With a choked sob, he looked down at the pile of mutilated body parts he’d landed on top of.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alright, and I am back with another update! But first, some stuff a friend noticed in the first few pages and mentioned to me that I didn’t take in when I went over them on my own the first time:

The park they’re in as kids is pretty close to the apartment complex Izuku and his mom live in! Considering that said apartment complex is right there in the background. Which probably isn’t a huge thing, but a neat thing to note.

The age these kids manifest their quirks at seems to be more preteen / teenage years, though I don’t know whether that’s just because it is later activation or because there were (subtle) quirks before that, with the glowing baby just being the one that had people sit up and realize something was actually going on.

Endeavor ad! And it has the time of that event that day, too - 8:14 AM! I wonder what he’s advertising… or perhaps it’s a news report? An interview of some kind? It might just be a ‘breaking news, we got Endeavor on our channel’ sort of thing. The only part that I can read is the first three katakana for the biggest text, which is ‘E-n-de’ and matches the wiki’s katakana for ‘Endeavor’. If anyone can get a good enough look at the smaller text in order to tell me what the rest says, I would appreciate it!

Just a few things, but obviously I need to up my observation game if I want to catch all this stuff!

[No. 1 - Midoriya Izuku: Origin]

So now we’re at Aldera / Orudera Junior High, with Izuku’s class being in their last year before high school. Since Japan’s schools start on the second week of April, we know this has to be that first week of school, because Katsuki’s still 14 and his birthday is April 20th, which would almost always be the third week of April / second week of school. 

What is that writing stance. You are going to have an old man’s back by the time you graduate high school. I mean, I wouldn’t know anything about that personally, cough cough…

Anyways! We get a look at Izuku’s class and their quirks, and what a collection. Also, with an attitude like that, no wonder this school is seen as bad, like, what the fuck dude. Not exactly a competent homeroom teacher, are you?

The ones that I can see, from leftmost row to rightmost row, are [1] floating hair, stretchy fingers, dark matter, [2] smokey arms, spike fists, stretchy eyes, frog throat, some sort of flash/illumination quirk, [3] rocky body, ???, stretchy neck, flamethrower arms, extra arms, [4] sharp hair, big chompers, wedge face, [quirkless], mouth face (seen in the next panel and holy FUCK new sleep paralysis demon), [5] horns, telekinesis, [explosion], buff bod, ???, [6] wind control, ???

WHY.

But yeah, this also establishes the first rule of ‘don’t use quirks in school’ thing that… also gets promptly ignored the several other times we see stuff set in this school. Which, what a shock, people sort of sliding around inconvenient rules.

Anyways, Katsuki has proven that he hasn’t changed since those first few childhood panels way back (checks) ten pages ago. And Izuku is being… very shy and trying to avoid drawing attention. But no shaking, particularly, just… wallflower mode, more like.

But yeah, Katsuki is not exactly on great terms with the rest of the class, who are rightfully pissed off at him treating them rudely and calling them extras. Though honestly, I’m surprised that they’re surprised he’s aiming for UA, it’s not like he wouldn’t have been obvious about that for, like, years at this point. You’d think they’d all roll their eyes and be like ‘yeah yeah we’ve heard this spiel before’ or something. IDK.

Oh man, and Izuku already KNOWS what’s coming, look at how he’s hiding his face!

Katsuki is, of course, Fucking Extra and hops on his desk, and gets right into bragging, where, AGAIN, this should have been stuff this class has known about for ages, why are they so shocked?? And huh, interesting, he’s not only interested in surpassing All Might, but also in being one of the richest people in the world. Wow, I cannot even with him, especially knowing he lives in this house in particular:

Which, it should be clear, is an EXPENSIVE lifestyle when most families live in modest apartments because of space being so valuable in Japan. 

God this is a fantastic image. I wanna frame it on a wall somewhere. Hori managed to convey all the emotions in one face and I admire the man for it. 

With the whole class laughing, there’s a thing I want to note that fandom seems to not pay attention to: they note that Izuku gets good grades! I’ve seen fics that basically have him forced to sabotage his own grades to avoid getting backlash, but like… no, I don’t think that’s actually a thing. 

[Also an aside, we finally see one more class quirk, which seems to be some sort of bulked up arm? It looks a bit like mummy bandages, as far as I can tell.]

Izuku gets into defending himself, saying there’s no precedent, but he IS defending himself against them, so again, he’s not cowering as much as some people seem to think he does based on fics, and clearly he’s still willing to stand up for himself to some degree. 

...then of course, Katsuki blows up Izuku’s desk and sends Izuku sprawling. And is pissed that Izuku apparently thinks he, who is quirkless, can somehow be on the same level as Katsuki. Izuku swears up and down that it’s not about Katsuki, that he just really wants to try, and this somehow pisses Katsuki off even more. 

I want you all to remember this image - save it on your computers, bookmark this post, whatever you need to do. We’ll come back to it in, oh (checks watch) about 284 chapters. Or maybe sooner in a separate post where I can put it under read more and avoid spoiling people more than this does. Because DAMN can I gush on this moment.

Anyways, we have a change of scene, right after noon, with a thief with a sludge transformation and,,,,,,,, legs and pants,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Where the fuck did those pants go, sir. Sir. What the fuck, sir.

Also, we get our first meeting with the OG dad, the sunflower man himself, who blooms into 255 kilos of muscle in one panel. Also, man I forgot about the fucking giraffe neck Hori used to draw him with, holy heck, why are you so l o n g.

L O N G.

...right, anyways, back to the school, which is apparently over for the day. The rest of the class is heading out, and Izuku’s back to his chipper self, even humming a happy note as he grabs his notebook-

Before Katsuki nabs it from his hands. There are a few people who’ve hung back who notice the title and pick fun at izuku, so I guess Izuku actually… doesn’t talk about his desire to be a hero that much in middle school, if the others are all so surprised about it. He apparently doesn’t even make his notebooks obvious to them, since this is the first time any of them seem to be seeing it. Which I mean, it makes sense if the class will tease him for it, but like. Even with Katsuki stealing the book, Izuku’s not super panicked or having a nervous breakdown.

But yeah, Katsuki just blasts the book, but! It’s just the cover singed (and edges) when we know he could have demolished that book entirely. Again, he’s definitely being a bully and a jerk here, but he’s got way more self-control than fandom likes to assume. 

Izuku’s upset because of his damaged notebook, and Katsuki just huffs and throws it out the window while saying he’s gonna be the only kid from Aldera to go to UA. And Izuku, EVEN WHILE STRESSING, thinks of him as vain for thinking that way! That’s not the first thought of someone too terrified to do anything.

Edit: As pointed out to me in [this post], it was Katsuki’s crony who was thinking of him as vain, not Izuku. My bad!

Also note the lack of damage to Izuku’s school uniform. I know I’ve seen fics where there’s a hole made and a burn scar left that Izuku has to tend to, but Katsuki, again, has not directly used his quirk against Izuku. We’ve never seen it, just the smoke and flash used for intimidation. I’m getting more and more confident that Katsuki has never actually used his quirk against a person, which I’m probably gonna get a bit more into during the battle training in a few chapters.

But yeah, the cronies / extras basically call Izuku lame and that he can’t face reality. And then we get this scene:

That’s not the face of someone afraid. That’s Izuku’s determined face.

Izuku is about to stand up to Katsuki again. The way he always has, the way he always will. There has never been a point in the series where Izuku has NOT stood up to Katsuki when he feels it matters, and that’s part of the reason Katsuki is so pissed with him every time he does - because Izuku REFUSES to see his place! Not once!

(Please, for the love of god, respect the Izuku who didn’t need a quirk to stand up to others. Who isn’t ‘broken’ or ‘terrified’ of Katsuki or anything like that. He’s a stubborn kid and we Stan That.)

Izuku, however, is not confident enough in this situation to want to press the issue, so he relents and says nothing when Katsuki prods him to escalate things. And then we immediately get to the ‘you idiot, don’t fucking suicide bait!’ but you can tell it’s been a stressful few moments for him. 

So yeah, the summary of this section is ‘Izuku is not an uwu suffering babey, and Katsuki is way more restrained than people seem to think.’ 

I’m cutting it off here since, again, we got a lot of info and character examination, and honestly this whole chapter is a long ass one (55 pages!!!!) and it’s establishing the entire setting from the ground up. And honestly, I’m just vibing in being Right about how I’ve been viewing the characters at the start of the series… even if i am guilty of sometimes playing with fanon for my own means…

Still, this is fun! Hopefully y’all are having fun too!

[hollenka99]

Unus Annus - November

354. Accepting the Truth, 6:11, 2.8M (Nov 1st) - While sitting by the pool, Mark and Ethan announce that a livestream will happen on the 13th so that the audience can join them in reminiscing over the past year and watching the channel be deleted live.

355. The Unus Annus Last Supper, 26:58, 2.6M (Nov 2nd) - Amy creates a 7 course meal for Mark and Ethan based on various past videos. This includes eggnog with bug biscuits, them having 3 minutes to eat a raw onion and edible items of a mature nature.

356. Being Brutally Honest with Each Other, 26:14, 2.2M (Nov 3rd) - Mark and Ethan reflect on how well they have worked together during the course of the channel’s run. Some things that were revealed consisted of them having to re-evaluate their communication after the wall punch, Mark committing to bits even if they start going a little far and how Ethan could build his acting skills. There is a heartfelt moment where Ethan expresses how grateful he is to have Mark as a friend and someone to learn off of, which ends in tears.

357. Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video, 45:11, 3.2M (Nov 4th) - Amy reads out the title of videos in chronological order while Mark and Ethan do something quick to re-enact that video. Alexa misinterprets a command, some episode segments are just them wondering who came up with the titles and Amy gets confused by a few titles that state she shouldn’t know about them.

358. All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened, 25:13, 1.8M (Nov 5th) - They discuss the videos that never were, including potential collabs, things the pandemic prevented from happening and ideas that were best left not attempted. 

359. Who’s Cutting Onions In Here???, 22:24, 2M (Nov 6th) - The two of them spend the entire video cutting onions and talking about the channel. They discuss their expectations when they started the channel, how they were affected by the deaths of family members and how they would like to die.

360. The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast, 16:41, 1.7M (Nov 7th) - On Twitter, they invited the viewers to send in their roasts. They just laugh at most of them but a few they roast the poster back. One of the cameras produced corrupted footage so they had to lipsync at times. 

361. God’s Fitness Test, 22:58, 1.9M (Nov 8th) - Along with their personal trainers, they form two teams which consist of Mark and Alex vs Ethan and Andre. They do push ups where you have to have all four limbs airborne during part of it, a burpee hybrid, a race where Mark and Ethan carry their trainers on their backs, weightlifting with squats and a sprinting challenge. 

362. Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests, 39:44, 2.2M (Nov 9th) - Mark and Ethan call up some of the people they’ve worked with in videos over the past year to thank them. Upon learning The Basement LA (where they did the escape room in December) was in financial trouble due to the pandemic, they offer to donate the ad revenue from the escape room video to help them out.

363. Everything’s Legal If You’re Dead, 24:50, 2.2M (Nov 10th) - Mark and Ethan attempt to make breakfast with sex toys again. However, this time they steal the products they got from the shop and Mark’s lawyer Ryan tries to discourage them from their plans of insurance fraud.

364. 7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell, 12:41, 1.9M (Nov 11th) - In new inflatable saunas, they are sent to Heaven and Hell with items previously featured in past videos. Ethan goes to Heaven where he receives the scent of essential oils, kiwis, a cupping session using a mouth instead of the cups and wax on his face. Mark, meanwhile, is subjected to Hell where the aromatherapy is of the onion variety, his mouth is filled with hot dogs and the straw his dogs may have used as a toilet is laid at his feet.

365. The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover, 17:17, 2.3M (Nov 12th) - Ethan goes to Mark’s home to spend the night. They shoot cans while the other hides behind the targets, make popcorn as well as friendship bracelets and play truth or dare. Ethan decorates his bracelet for Mark with 'My Pal Annus' while Mark puts 'EEF' inbetween Takis that had been in his mouth. Towards the end, the two of them share a glass of champagne before settling down for the night. At various points, the signature ticking sound is heard.

366. Goodbye., 12:00:00, 1M (Nov 13th - Nov 14th) - This is the farewell livestream. The two of them sit with a television that displays the timer inbetween them. Throughout the 12 hours, they show the editors’ highlight reels, watch and comment on a few videos, look through fanart and memes as well as welcome guests. When there’s around 3 hours to go, Ethan gets 00:00:00 tattooed on his left arm by DanielleSkyeee. They promise that if the stream receives 1 million likes, they will reveal the inside of their coffin and possibly get inside. With less than an hour to go, this does indeed happen, with the fake eulogies making them emotional and the coffin is dubbed the ‘Cry Box’. As the hours become not only minutes but seconds, Mark, Ethan and Amy gather around the laptop so they can press the delete button together. The clock finally reaches 00:00:00, leaving the audience with a black screen as well as a channel that no longer exists.

1. Unus Annus, 1:52, 10M (Nov 15th) - Introductory video explaining the premise of the channel.

2. Cooking with Sex Toys, 12:42, 4.6M (Nov 15th) - The guys buy a bunch of sex toys and use them to make some bacon, eggs and pancakes. Towards the end, someone spots Mark being fed while wearing a gag.

3. Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot, 11:18, 4.8M (Nov 16th) - They clear their noses with Neti Pots, essentially flooding it and triggering a drowning sensation. Towards the end, the spiral screen appears where Mark and Ethan thank the audience for their initial reaction to the channel, which lead to the intro video becoming #1 on trending. They announce that if the channel reaches 1 million subscribers within a week, a viewer who helped spread the word will be hand delivered the button. Otherwise, Mark will have his nipples pierced.

4. Hot Dog'd To Death, 11:18, 3.3M (Nov 17th) - They attempt to eat 60 hot dogs in 10 minutes. Ethan struggles to work out how long 360 seconds is. The are certain Chica could beat Joey Chestnut's record of 71 any day.

5. Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank, 13:44, 2.7M (Nov 18th) - They filled a pool with salts, blindfold themselves and put headphones on. To mess around, they pretend to try drown each other.

6. The Good Kind of Cupping, 11:59, 2.7M (Nov 19th) - They attempt cup stacking. Mark is better at it than Ethan. The two of them end up trying to walk on all fours while wearing the cups like some sort of cryptid. This is also where they announce the winner of the 1M play button (Kingkasuma 2.0). The next challenge is also announced, get it to 2M subs within a week so a viewer has the chance to meet Mark and Ethan while appearing in a video or Ethan will destroy the Barrel with a bat.

7. The Bad Kind of Cupping, 13:36, 8.8M (Nov 20th) - Mark and Ethan place suction cups on each other. At one point, Ethan is unable to detach a cup and gets very stressed about it.

8. The Worst Kind of Cupping, 10:17, 3.1M (Nov 21st) - They react to Two Girls, One Cup before trying to see if they can find out where the girls are now. This is Mark’s first time watching it and he does not have a good time.

9. Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls, 7:30, 4.2M (Nov 22nd) - They plan to use those inflatable balls that you can run around in. Ethan struggles to inflate his so he goes to a shop to ask they can help him with a pump. The staff are nice and chuck it to him via a window. He reaches his car, only to realise he can't fit it in without deflating it a little. Ethan does indeed get kicked in the balls at the end.

10. Doing Each Other's Makeup in the Dark, 12:08, 2.2M (Nov 23rd) - Mark and Ethan blindly apply makeup to one another. There is a risk of blackface when Mark gets into the bronzer but Amy is able to warn him to be careful. Ethan uses blush for its intended purpose and as lipstick. When they look at themselves in a mirror, he compares himself to the little girl wearing makeup while in a carseat. You can tell Amy is the one editing due to her written comments.

11. Baby Hands Operation, 8:29, 2.7M (Nov 24th) - Mark and Ethan assemble and then play Operation while wearing baby hands. When Calamity Pete's buzzing annoys them, they begin waterboarding him and are only able to remove the foreign object after hitting him hard enough to accidentally project the piece. This is where the 'Oh My Fucking God' meme originates.

12. Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost, 18:02, 4M (Nov 25th) - This is framed as a kind of found footage documentary. While at Ethan’s home, they form a pentagram out of candles before playing Bloody Mary and Charlie Charlie. It ends with them getting attacked by a ghost.

13. 2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition, 16:49, 4.5M (Nov 26th) - They play 2 truths and a lie where getting it wrong means a body part gets waxed. The body part is determined by a spinning randomiser wheel. Korea is mentioned during both times the spinner lands on pubic hair.

14. Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise...), 12:24, 4.3M (Nov 27th) - Mark and Ethan buy Poopsie Sparkly Critters, a toy that will eject slime from either their butt (poop) or mouth (spit). They play around with the toys, adding glitter to the slime as instructed. This is the first time ‘Martha Maywho’ (Martha May Whovier from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas) is mentioned.

15. Play-Doh Thanksgiving, 10:35, 2.2M (Nov 28th) - They create a thanksgiving meal with only Play-Doh. A tray full of ‘food’ that are the appropriate colours is created, including a tiny live turkey made by Ethan. A mega turkey is also made using a conglomerate of the remaining Play-Doh. Mark and Ethan then sample their creation.

16. Helium Therapy, 14:55, 3.3M (Nov 29th) - The two of them inhale helium then discuss various topics, including how they’d kill each other, childhood misadventures and their romantic pursuits involving an abundance of Abigails (plus a Sarah).

17. Drawing Memes from Memory, 10:53, 2.6M (Nov 30th) - With drawing pads and scented coloured markers, Mark and Ethan attempt to draw old memes with Amy telling them their prompts.The ‘This is fine’ dog, dat boi, Rebecca Black, dancing baby, the Numa Numa guy, dikbutt, condescending Willy Wonka and trollface all make an appearence. They spend nearly as much time sniffing the markers as they do drawing.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

I got your back (Lance Tucker x reader)

I got your back

Lance x reader

Word count

Warnings: eating disorder, over-exercise, fainting, lance’s comments

Summary: reader is a gymnast and her coach is Lance Tucker. She develops an eating disorder and one day passes out during her routine

A/N: Sorry if it’s a little rushed

----------------

You took a deep breath as you steadied yourself on the end of the beam, getting ready to attempt your routine once again for your coach Lance. 

He was a hard man to please. You don’t know if he’s ever shown any kind of sympathy towards anyone for anything. And his way of showing that you were good was by telling you you sucked. Still, you had a lot of respect for the man. He was a silver and gold medalist after all.

You attempted the routine again and even though you thought you did well, you were expecting to be told it was your worst attempt yet.

“Pathetic.” he stated. “You're separating your legs too much.”

You sighed and made your way back to the end of the beam. He stopped you every few seconds with another critique of some sort. Your back wasn’t straight, you lost your balance, were you trying to fall off the beam? The list went on and on. This was how it always was.

You needed to be better. And you simply weren’t.

And Lance made sure you were well aware of that.

“That’s it, I’m calling it for the night,” he said after you finished your best attempt. You sighed and hopped off of the beam, grabbing your still filled water bottle. “Go home, get some rest, eat something decent. Be back here at 5 AM.”

You nodded, turning towards the door. You had no intentions of doing any of that.

You got into your car and drove to your house, but you only went inside to drop off your keys. After which, you came back outside into the brisk evening air and began running. This was something you did most nights, even though you were exhausted. You thought if you worked more than you’d be better in the gym. Build endurance, something like that.

You went on your usual loop which took you around an hour, before you came back to your house, panting and out of breath. As if on cue, your stomach growled. You put a hand over it, willing it to stop. You had no intention to fulfill it’s pleas.

You knew you had a problem. But that didn’t stop you. Gymnasts needed to be light, so they could get off the ground easier. Jump higher, move faster, be more graceful. No one wanted a linebacker that causes the beam to clunk every time they put their weight on it. And you were not going to let Lance make those sorts of comments to you.

So a few months ago, you took matters into your own hands.

You weren’t really eating and you were training more than Lance suggested, which was a LOT. The hunger pains were torturous at first, keeping you awake at night, but they subsided after a few days. And you felt dizzy sometimes, but you got used to that too. You didn’t really need an excuse other than saying you were on a strict diet for gymnastics. It wasn’t uncommon.

And so far it was working. You were losing weight and your frame was getting smaller, and you felt as though your gymnastics were improving. Not that Lance would let you think that, it was just your opinion. And so far, things were fine. 

You passed out a couple of times at home, but you didn’t think it was a big deal. Sleeping was getting harder and harder and eventually you gave up trying. You had dark circles under your eyes that you would hide behind concealers. Your hair was beginning to fall out but as long as you could still pull it into a bun, you were okay with that.

Everything was fine. Everything was fine.

You went into your house and locked the door behind you, after which you went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. You stepped in as soon as it was warm enough to tolerate, letting it wash over your permanently sore muscles. You let out a content sigh. At least the day was over. 

For the next 6 hours.

After you were done bathing, you turned off the water and dried yourself off with a towel, wrapping it around your small body after. You went into your room and put on the most comfortable clothes you could before laying back on your bed. You were exhausted really. You wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and just rest. But your body wouldn’t quite shut down enough for you to do that.

You tossed and turned for a while before you fell asleep finally hours later. Your alarm woke you up much earlier than you would have liked, and you groaned as you pulled yourself out of bed. And as you sat up, a wave of dizziness had you gripping the edges of your mattress, eyes clenching shut as you tried to breath through it. 

Once it had passed after a few moments, you stood up and went to get dressed in your normal gym attire before heading out the door to drive to the gym. At least today you weren’t going to be late.

You walked into the gym at 4:55, and sure enough Lance was in his natural state of being: arms crossed, chewing gum, and signature frown plastered on his face. When he saw you, he nodded in acknowledgement, telling you to stretch so the two of you could get started.

You put your bag and water off to the side before doing some floor stretches, silence deafening aside from the snapping of Lance’s gym. After stretching your legs out, you went to stand, stumbling a little again as another wave of dizziness hit you.

Lance furrowed his eyebrows together, not moving. “You okay?”

You nodded, glad that this wave was shorter. “Yep. I’m good.”

You went back to stretching, and Lance dropped it. 

You made your way over to the beam and pulled yourself up onto it. Standing, you made your way to the edge of the beam and got into your starting position. You went through your routine once, and you knew it wasn’t your best attempt.

“I don’t even know what the fuck to call that.” he said, exasperated. “Do it again.”

You sighed and walked back to the edge of the beam and got ready to start again. This time though, the handsprings got to be too much for you. Black spots invaded your vision again, and when you came to stand back up on the beam, you swayed on your feet, trying to get your balance. You heard ringing in your ears and your mouth went dry, before your legs gave out and you fell off the beam.

Lance had seen you sway and said your name when you stopped moving, but you didn’t respond to him. You hadn’t heard him. He saw you shake your head a few times, and ran to the beam in time to catch you before you hit the mat.

You were out cold.

Lance laid you down on the mat, taking note of how frail your body was. His  mind was racing with what had happened, or more importantly, why it happened. He had an idea but he was hoping he was wrong.

After about 30 seconds or so, you drifted back into consciousness, confused by what had just happened. Why were you on the floor? You tried to sit up, but Lance pushed down on your shoulders gently, preventing you from doing so. “Easy there y/n.”

Your eyes met Lance’s, and you realized what had happened. You had passed out in the middle of your routine. You had never fainted at practice before, and you were not excited with the conversation he was going to want to have.

“I’m fine Lance -”

“You passed out y/n.” he said, unconvinced.

You sighed, “Yeah, no shit Tucker.” 

He looked you up and down, studying you. You were pale, you had been so light when he caught you, and he had noticed lately that your ribs would poke out every now and again. More than was normal.

“When was the last time you ate something?”

You tried not to panic and gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean when was the last time you ingested food.”

You looked away, forcing out “Last night? I don’t know, I don’t really think about it.” It sounded a lot less confident than you would have liked it to. Lance picked up on this. “Well aren’t you sure? Seriously y/n, when was the last time you had a meal?”

You brought a hand to your face, shaking your head. You let out a breath. “The last time I ate something or the last time I had a full meal?” you asked quietly, tears forming in your hidden eyes.

Lance was a bit taken aback by your question. He thought they meant the same thing. Confused, he replied, “Both.”

You took another deep breath before saying “The last time I ate was a couple of days ago. The last meal I had…” you shook your head and shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

His eyes widened as he realized the severity of the situation. And for the first time you saw concern on his face. After a few moments he asked “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I just wanted to be better!” you yelled out, finally sitting up. Your head pounded but you didn’t care. Lance gave you another confused look. “I don’t understand y/n.”

You sighed and brought your hand to your face again. “I just...I don’t know. Gymnasts are supposed to be tiny. And I thought if I was smaller I could do everything better. I…” tears welled in your eyes and a lump formed in your throat. “I can’t eat, I don’t sleep, I work out more than you tell me to…” you shook your head. 

Lance’s face went white and he tried to figure out what he should say. He stood up and helped you do the same, leading you into his office so you could talk more. He sat down next to you. “You do realize that your body shuts down when you don’t eat, don’t you?” He was very familiar with eating disorders and what the consequences could be, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he was the best person to help someone with one. 

You bit your lip. You knew it, you just didn’t want to admit it. Because then you’d have a problem. One that you weren’t sure you wanted to fix.

He sighed at your hesitancy. “Well, it does. The body breaks down muscle instead of fat. Including your organs. You probably passed out because of your blood sugar. I’m not surprised considering the situation. This can kill you y/n.”

You looked away, ashamed. You knew it deep down, but you didn’t want to admit it. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, trying to find something to say, tears in your eyes. “I don’t know…”

“Well it can. And if you don’t stop, it will.”

“I know, I just… I can’t… I just wish… fuck…” you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to gether yourself as tears fell from your eyes.

He sighed and rubbed your shoulder a little. “Look, this...isn’t okay. It’s not your fault that this happened, but it is your responsibility to do something about it.”

You let out a small sob and nodded a little, realization starting to wash over you. “I’m sorry.”

Lance shook his head. “Don’t be. Just don’t let it happen again,” he added with a small laugh. Returning to seriousness, he added, “I’m suspending you for a few weeks. I’ll make you a simple guide that will get some food into your system, and you need to just rest. You’re not allowed back here until you’re eating consistently. I’m not going to coach you if you’re not eating. Understand?”

You opened your mouth to protest “But -”

“Do you understand?”

You nodded reluctantly, biting your lip as another wave of tears welled in your eyes. His face softened. “You’re gonna be okay y/n. It’s going to fucking suck at first, but you’re storng. You can get through this.”

You nodded again, looking at him. “Thank you.”

“I got your back,kid.” he said as he pulled you into a hug. “I got your back.”

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[hellofromthe-otter-slide]

1-65 😈

Well, this is literally every question, so everything is under the cut.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Not really

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Mostly a 2, but girlfriend made me go see Candyman last weekend, so right now it's a 3.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Uhhhhh, I don't know, Elon Musk? He sounds insufferable

4. What is your favorite word?

Okay, I'm gonna grab a German word for this one. Eichhörnchen. It means squirrel and it's borderline impossible to say

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A big ole oak tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

That weird hair bump is back and I didn't even go to sleep with wet hair

7. What shirt are you wearing?

My girlfriend's tie dyed shirt with a middle finger on it

8. What do you label yourself as?

Latina, gay, nonbinary

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark room. Whoever turns of the big lights are fucking monsters

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I'm pretty sure I was asleep

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

My age now, so 25

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My girlfriend

13. Your worst enemy?

My instructional coach. Straight up

14. What is your current desktop picture?

The bridal party for my friend's wedding I was in

15. Do you like someone?

Yes. I'm sadly dating her

16. The last song you listened to?

That's What You Get by Paramore

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Goodbye, Jeff Bezos

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Second verse, same as the first (Jeff Bezos). For people I know in real life, my instructional coach

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I...do not like this question. No one. Everyone is Dobby, now a free elf

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My eyes. Only one in the family to inherit my grandmother's green eyes

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I'd dress the same and probably just go about my day

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Gift giving. I always deep dive to figure out the perfect present

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Um, fire. I don't fuck with that shit anywhere near me

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Wheat bread, a little mayo, spicy brown mustard, hummus, white cheddar cheese, tofurkey, sliced tomato, avocado

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Probably something responsible, like buy a vacuum

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Tokyo

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I think it's called Rumchata? Like alcoholic horchata?

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

If any man is seen instituting patriarchal rules, he is fed to the beast

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

A print my girlfriend got me that's framed

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Oh geez. Um, all of it? Start with a clean slate

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Germany, my second home. I'm coming back

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Sydney, my German Shepard growing up

34. What was your last dream about?

Oof. It was a nightmare that I don't really remember

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

I am a good writer, I think. Good enough to make my friends upset about the angst I wrote

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yup! Broke my ankle

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I'm from Indiana, so yes. It's not as easy as it looks

38. What is the color of your socks?

While I usually wear colorful, fun socks, I am currently barefoot

39. What type of music do you like?

Whatever Aly & AJ are doing

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Mint chocolate chip

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I mean, I was just forced to watch the UGA game

43. Do you have any scars?

Two from the aforementioned broken ankle. Had to get surgery

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I am a teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

That mental illness can just shoo

46. Are you reliable?

Very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

What the fuck is going on?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Nope

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Otters and sloths

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

My best friend taught me about oviposition once

51. Are you a good liar?

Yup

52. How long could you go without talking?

So long

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

My mom cutting off all of my hair during first grade

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yup

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

Very many

56. What do you like on your toast?

Honey and butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

A lighthouse

58. What would be you dream car?

An electric one. I'm tired of paying for gas

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I sing and conduct fake interviews about my writing

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Yep

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

Never

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Q

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dragons

64. What do you think about babies?

They look weird as newborns

65: you didn't give me an extra question here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 55

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA 

(FINAL CHAPTER)

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52 || CHAPTER 53 || CHAPTER 54

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified the sequel is posted, message me!

- note for this chapter: i mean, this is it. this is the end. not really because you all know theres a sequel but its still super big to me. ive been writing for 22 years and its the very first time i finish a real story. im super proud of this story and it has over 220k words, which is something i’ve obviously never done before. im also super happy to post this last chapter on the same day Niall’s second album comes out. idk why i just think its cool lmao! 

i would appreciate so so soooo so much your comments for this chapter but also what you think will happen in the sequel or what you want to happen in the sequel. also, anything about the characters, the storyline, the ending... honestly, whatever comes to your mind about this story, good or bad, comments or suggestions... please send it to me! thank you!!!

okay so here it is. :D

Chapter 55 : Her FINAL chapter

OLIVIA

I ended up rushing outside and walking as fast as I could. It took me a few seconds to realize it was pouring outside but it didn't really matter. Nothing really mattered. I was crying but I was still walking fast, letting the tears fall down my cheeks and the sobs getting out of my mouth without shame. It was only after about 10 minutes of walk that i realized I didn't even take my car but when that realization came to me, I still didn't give a fuck.

I was mad at Niall for hurting me and mad at myself for making him the center of my universe for so long. I was so lost without him. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be... I didn't know how to breathe or how to live. I was so pissed at myself for giving one person so much power over me and I hated it. Niall could live without me, he could breathe, he knew who he was and what he wanted, and he had proved it only a few minutes ago. And that made me realize that I was completely wrong about love. It isn't to make one with the person you love. Your lover shouldn't be your other half. Even if the thought sounded incredibly romantic, when you took the time to think about it, it was ridiculous. I was someone without Niall, I just didn't know who yet.

That simple concept made my heart jump in my chest and I started running. I ran fast, feeling my backpack hit the bottom of my back with every step. I ran as fast as I could until my throat burned, until my legs hurt. The sound of my feet on the cement as it echoed on the walls of the houses around seemed to go in rhythm with the beatings of my heart and when I'd run in a pool of water, I heard it splash on me until the bottom of my sweatpants were soaked. In fact, when I stopped running, I was completely drenched and totally out of breath. I stopped because the person I was looking for was standing only a few meters away from me. He was panting too, I could see his chest raise up and down quickly as he tried to catch his breath and my eyes roamed on him until I noticed locks of his hair stuck on his forehead because of the rain. He was soaked too and I swallowed hard. Seeing him so vulnerable made me realize that's probably how I looked too. I felt my own hair stick to my face and my shirt to my back.

"Olivia."

He had talked a bit louder than usual, trying to make his voice reach me despite the distance and the noise of the rain hitting the paving of the sidewalk where we were both standing.

"I was... I was going to see you." he explained, still panting. "I just... I needed to talk to you. I was sitting on the couch and I just... I rushed out."

My legs had brought me to him while his were also bringing him to me and that thought made me sob. I brought my hand to my mouth to stop it until I saw him start crying too. He was literally weeping in front of me and I wanted to run to him and take him in my arms but I was motionless, like stuck in quicksand.

"Olivia, I got a girl pregnant." he added even louder in-between sobs.

I kept staring at him and swallowed with difficulty again before my lips parted.

"Niall broke up with me."

I don't know how long we stayed just away from each other, standing in the rain but at some point, I felt a shiver run across my back and after half a second, I was in his arms. He held me close, his arms wrapped around my neck and his forehead leaning on the top of my head. He smelled good, he felt great and when he cried again, I squeezed him tighter against me.

The rain kept falling over us but neither of us cared. We just held onto each other while everything was falling apart around us and we were each other's only hope. He brought me inside after a while and let me borrow some clothes, leaving me alone in his room to get changed. I took my clothes off and used the towel he gave me to dry my body. I quickly put his sweatpants and shirt on and started rubbing the towel in my hair as I walked very slowly around his room.

It was modern and classy, just like him, and I always liked the nice and soft carpet he had picked. I let my feet brush on it as I reached the other side of the bed, suddenly curious. There was a bunch of pictures in his room, pictures of his family and friends but there was one small frame that was turned face down on the bedside table. I took it and stared for a few seconds at the smiling faces of Louis and Eleanor, feeling myself tear up again. Two love stories were now ruined and over and I didn't understand what exactly had happened to us.

I sighed and put the frame back exactly where it was before going to the bathroom and hanging the towels behind the door. I came back to the room and smiled slightly as I pushed a pile of dirty clothes on the side and went back to the living room. Louis had made tea and mine was waiting for me on the coffee table. He was sitting down and I noticed he had changed too. His hair, unlike mine, was almost dry already and when he felt my presence, he turned to me and made a quick head movement to incite me to get closer. I breathed in and joined him on the couch, taking the mug with both hands to warm myself a bit before bringing it to my lips.

"Lady grey." I whispered, the left corner of my lips rising a bit.

"With a cloud of milk and no sugar." he added. "Your favorite."

I turned to him and tilted my head.

"Sugar ruins tea." I pointed out as he answered my smile.

"It does, darlin'."

I loved Louis. Everything was so simple with him, even more than with Harry. Perhaps the fact that Louis and I were only friends helped too. I was never only friends with Harry, and I was never only friends with Niall. There were always some romantic or lust feelings involved. I stared at Louis and blinked a few times before taking a few more sips of my tea. The hot beverage warmed my whole body but couldn't get rid of the persistent ache in my heart, unfortunately.

"Do you think it'll always hurt like that?"

"Yes."

It was not the answer I expected and he probably read it in my face because he moved a bit to sit better and face me. I was desperate for human contact and I just wanted to cuddle him but I waited, the fingers of one of my hands playing nervously with the fabric of the couch.

"He's your soulmate just like El is my soulmate." he explained and I could swear I heard his voice crack. "It'll hurt forever."

I swallowed again but felt a tear run down my cheek without wiping it off.

"What are we gonna do, Louis?"

He looked down at his lap and sighed loud. We were both sad and lost and we had no idea what to do with our pain. I moved a bit closer and grabbed his hand on the back of the couch. Immediately, he squeezed my fingers with his.

"I don't know, Liv." he admitted, shaking his head. "And I don't think we'll find out tonight."

I nodded, keeping his hand in mine, as a bunch of thoughts invaded my mind. Would I see Niall again? Would I even be able to be around him without crying or hurting? That didn't seem likely. How would I react when i'd see him with an other girl? Whether I still kept him in my life or not, i'll know about the girls he dates since it'll be all over the net. Niall is discreet, it's true, but he can't hide forever. Plus, we have a few common friends, including Louis.

"Why didn't you fight?" I heard, taking me out of my thoughts. "That's not you Olivia, you always fight for what you want."

I sent him a sad smile and shrugged, running my thumb on top of his hand as I stared at it.

"I saw his face, Louis. It was not a random decision. It was well-thought. It's something he had in mind for a while. I couldn't have done anything about it."

An other moment of silence and I licked my lips.

"Is it Briana?" I wondered in a low tone, looking up only to see him nod slowly. "Is she gonna keep it?"

"Yes."

My heart jumped in my chest. "When did you find out?"

"A week ago."

I raised my eyebrows up in surprise, a bit hurt that he hadn't told me before but I also knew I was the first person he told and that made me feel special. I shouldn't make this about me, it was selfish of me, but it felt good nonetheless to have someone who trusts me, loves me and wants me in his life.

"What are you gonna do?"

Louis sighed again and moved on his seat without letting go of my hand.

"The best I can." he shook his head, still avoiding my eyes. "I'll be the best father in the world."

His answer made me smile and I tilted my head, staring at him. There was something about Louis, something strong and rough. He was a hard-shell with a soft core and it was probably the only thing we didn't really have in common.

"There's no doubt you'll be the best father on the planet."

His lips curled as he kept staring down and I started thinking about Niall again and that time we had talked about having kids. I felt something stir in my stomach and swallowed again to get rid of the nauseous feeling hitting me. I didn't want a family with anyone else and I closed my eyes, trying to mourn the perfect life I've always wanted.

"I wish I had kissed him one last time." I whispered, feeling more tears coming to my eyes. "I missed that chance. I miss how he tastes, how he smells. I miss him."

"You would always hope for 'one last time', Liv. You'd always want an other 'one last kiss'."

He was right but I didn't tell him, instead, I looked down and sniffed before licking my lips.

"I don't even know why he broke up with me. He just said he was not ready to commit, that he knew we'd last forever and he was not ready for that. To me, it makes no fucking sense. When you love someone, you don't care about the other people you could sleep with, you don't care about your freedom because you are free." I tried to explain, getting a bit worked up. "I didn't stop him from doing anything, did I? Was I a crazy, jealous, controlling girlfriend?"

This time, I looked up when I felt Louis move closer. His eyes found mine and he blinked a few times, letting go of my hand to cup my face. I could feel his breath on my face and my lips parted.

"Some people are ready to do anything to prove to themselves that they're not trapped." he let out slowly and in a low tone. "It's on them. Not on you."

My eyes roamed on his face and my heart skipped a beat. I loved that man so much and he deserved so much better than all this pain. I felt his thumbs brush gently on my skin and nodded slowly. Louis always said what he thought when you asked him for an opinion and he always told you things you didn't want to hear but needed to. That, we had in common, that's why this friendship was so real and raw, and also why we got along so well. We were also not touchy or easily offended, which helped.

He moved back a bit and I felt his fingers brush my face as they slid down.

"I know we'd normally get drunk off our asses, but i'm too tired to get pissed. Tomorrow?" His eyebrows raised up and I just nodded. "You can take my bed, it's more comfortable. I'll take the guest room."

"No Louis, it's fine I can-"

"Shut up, princess." he cut me quickly, frowning even more this time. "You take my bed and that's it."

I felt my lips curl and just nodded. He winked at me and smiled before getting up and I followed him slowly to his room. I watched him grab the covers and gripped his elbow quickly.

"Louis, I'm not disgusted by your sheets, you don't have to change them."

He sighed and looked at me for a few seconds before nodding.

"If you're hungry, you take anything in the kitchen, if you need meds or anything, it's in the bathroom. Basically, take anything you need okay? It's all good with me."

I nodded and he pushed the covers before I sat in bed. It took me a minute or two but I finally lied down and brought the blankets on me, feeling tears coming to my eyes again. I didn't want to be alone, it scared me like hell, and if I was about to cry all night, I didn't want to do it by myself.

"Goodnight, Olivia." he just said, turning the light off as he walked out.

Something jumped in my stomach and I sat up quickly.

"Louis!"

He turned around to look at me and our eyes met. I held my breath and licked my lips, unsure if he could see me in the dark but I could clearly see him because of the lights from the hall, illuminating him.

"Please, stay, okay?"

It seemed like I waited an hour just looking at him, waiting for him to reject me but in the end, he nodded and walked away. He turned the lights off and I watched his shadow walk back into the room. My eyes followed him as he got around the bed and under the covers with me. I turned his way and moved closer without touching him and he did the same as we remained silent. I blinked a few times until I got used to the darkness and finally sighed loud.

"Can we spoon?"

"We can spoon."

I turned around, untwisting my shirt and he waited until I stopped wiggling to wrap his arm around me. I closed my eyes and for a few seconds, I imagined I was in Niall's arms, in his bed, but the fantasy was hard to keep. The truth was, it didn't feel the same because Louis was not Niall. No one was Niall.

"I wish I was with El right now. I wish she was the one pregnant with my child." Louis whispered, probably trying to convince himself that the girl he was spooning was the girl he was in love with and not his best friend.

"I wish I was with Niall, right now. I wish he loved me more than his freedom."

"I don't know how to deal with the pain, Livi." he whispered, his voice cracking despite how low it was. "I don't know how to get back up and move forward."

"I wish I could help you but I don't know either."

"I just want to ease the pain." he let out quickly. "At first, getting drunk and high worked but the more I do it, the less it works. I could beg you, Livi, help me."

My heart started aching and I shut my eyes tight as I swallowed.

"I've always dealt with pain the same way, and it's a very very bad way, Louis." I confessed, shaking my head. "It's toxic."

"Tell me."

I rolled on my back and he stared down at me, his hand now laying on my stomach. I wanted to move it away from me but the way his pinky brushed against the skin of my stomach did something to me, something it really shouldn't do.

"I don't know, Louis."

"Does it work?" he asked, and despite how dark it was, I could see hope in his eyes.

"Mmhm." i just answered, now daring to talk.

"For how long?"

My lips parted and I shrugged. "A few hours, it depends."

"I'll take a few painless hours." he insisted. "Please."

Slowly, I reached for his hands under the covers and slid it up on my stomach. I couldn't believe I was doing that and I knew I risked a lot. I risked the only strong friendship I had left. Whether we did anything or not, it could make things awkward between us and that thought was scary as hell. I had lost Niall, I couldn't bare to lose Louis, too. Right before his hand reached my breasts, I pushed it away and shook my head. I was not ready to risk that.

"Forget it, it's a bad idea." I closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Fuck no."

My heart skipped an other beat as it jumped in my chest and I felt his hand move back to my stomach. His fingers brushed on my skin and I felt my eyes flutter. I didn't know why, but I wanted this.

"That's how you deal?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Fuck the pain away?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"You said you slept with nine persons in your life but it wasn't true, right?"

Slowly, his hand traveled my stomach and I just shrugged slightly.

"Only nine that mattered." I explained in a whisper. "The others don't count. It doesn't count if I don't know your name."

"You know my name." he murmured, moving his face a bit closer. "Do you want to make it ten?"

I sent him a smile and chuckled very low. Fuck yes I wanted it, but the fact that he did too was laughable.

"You can close your eyes and pretend i'm someone else." I just let out, licking my lips again. "I won't be mad, I know i'm not your type."

"Who said that?"

I brought my hand to his face and pressed my palm on his stubble.

"I've seen the girls you fancy." I shrugged again. "It doesn't matter, it's just to push the pain away for a while, yea? We'll be best friends again tomorrow, right?"

"And we'll never talk about it again if that's what you want."

I laughed a bit, feeling suddenly nervous, and moved my hand in his hair. I felt my fingers slip in it as I pushed his head my way gently.

"I heard i'm not so bad of a lay so, just leave the lights off and you'll be fine."

This time, he's the one who laughed.

"Are you gonna imagine i'm Niall?" he asked, making me frown.

"No!" I let out a bit too loud. "I want to forget about him for an hour, that would be counterproductive."

"Then why do you think i'd want to imagine someone else?" he asked again. "You think so low of yourself all the fooking time, Olivia."

By then, his hand had reached my breasts and I noticed it was under my shirt. He ran his hand on one and I felt my inner thighs throb so hard I almost whimpered.

"Okay, we can try, and if it doesn't work..."

"It's already working."

My lips parted slightly and my eyes roamed on his face. He moved closer but it's only when his lips pressed on mine that I closed my eyes. Slowly and gently, his lips parted mine and I never thought I needed affection as bad as I did. It had been only a few hours since Niall broke up with me but I felt so lonely and craving this intimacy with someone was not something that should surprise me. Louis was not anyone, anyway, and sharing that with him, although a bit awkward, felt better than I thought, even if I had never really thought about it before that night.

I thought he'd be more the impatient, rough and cheeky kind of guy but his hand traveled so slowly on me it took everything in me not to beg him to go quicker. I felt his fingertips brush against my nipple and my whole body started throbbing. I was desperate to be touched, desperate to be loved, desperate to feel alive.. and Louis was doing just that.

I sucked my stomach in when his hand ran down but spread my legs when he slipped his hand in my sweatpants. My back arched immediately at his touch, his whole hand pressing on my pussy until I felt two of his fingers slip inside me. This time, I held my breath and tensed as his mouth left mine. He brushed his lips down my neck and I slipped my hand in his hair. He smelled good, he tasted good, and I tried to suppress the image of Niall that quickly came to my mind without much success. I started tearing up and swallowed hard but when Louis brought his lips back on mine, I relaxed suddenly.

"I know you like it rough and hard but this is not what we need tonight, is it?" he whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he talked.

I shook my head and brought his closer, crushing his lips against mine. It should have hurt but it made me lust him even more and I let my hand travel to his neck and down his chest until it reached his sweatpants too. I heard him groan low and it made me feel dizzy. I pressed my hand on the front of his pants and felt him grind against it as my lips parted again and I started panting. I was excited and impatient but I didn't know if it was because of what I was about to do with Louis, or if it was because I knew I wouldn't feel pain for a while. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

I felt him move my pants down and helped him, pushing them with my feet at the bottom of the bed. I took my shirt off quickly as he did the same and after I pushed his pants down too, he quickly moved on top of me. I spread my legs and ground up without thinking, feeling his hard cock press on my inner thighs but I held my breath when he started kissing down my neck and chest. He gave a special attention to my tummy and it surprised me a bit but I couldn't seem to relax at all, feeling suddenly insecure. I wanted to tell him he didn't have to do that, that we could just make out and fuck, but his lips pressed on my pussy and I let out a curse word. I thought he'd go fast but he moved his lips and tongue so slowly on me that I felt my eyes roll back. I slid my hand under the blanket and found the back of his head only to press his face more on my pussy. I started seeing spots behind my eyelids and I knew I was getting close. I felt one of my legs start shaking and gripped his hair tight when an orgasm hit me hard.

"Oh my god!"

He didn't stop, he kept moving his tongue on me for a while, even after I relaxed, and I enjoyed the post-orgasm attention. He finally got back out of the covers and kissed me again, his mouth leaving an aftertaste of my orgasm on my own tongue.

"Mm, lay down okay?" I whispered, allowing our mouths to part briefly. "Your turn."

His kisses were getting more passionate and impatient and when he let out a low "No", I frowned.

"No?"

"I can't. Not now." he whispered again, kissing me harder. "You taste fookin' good, you know that?"

That confession made me smile and made my heart jump at the same time. I lost my smile when I felt him push himself slowly inside me and wrapped my arms around his chest as I moved my knees up.

"Oh god, fuck me." I whispered, feeling him smirk against my mouth.

"That's the plan."

I chuckled and he pushed himself completely inside me, making my head move back as I whimpered. I was impatient and I ran my hands on his back as I ground up again to feel him deeper.

"You feel... so fucking good."

He didn't answer, he just kissed me harder his elbows leaning on the mattress on each side of my head , and I brought my hands behind me on the wall to move in motion with him as he started thrusting in and out of me, slowly at first but quicker and harder until I felt close to an other orgasm.

"Oh fuck i'm gonna cum again." I murmured, bringing one of my hands to his hair again.

"Do it princess, cum for me, I want to feel you clench around me."

His words and his voice made me reach my peak immediately and I started shaking beneath him, my lips parted as his reached for my neck. He started biting me, amplifying my orgasm as I felt him reach his. His thrusts became unsteady and rough when he tried to push himself deeper before he just stopped moving. I could feel his body tremble slightly and when he finally relaxed, I kept my eyes closed. I was on the verge of tears and I was not even sure why.

Louis rolled away from me as we both lied down on our backs, watching the ceiling. I was suddenly scared that it had changed something between us, something that meant that we could never go back to that friendship we had.

"It worked. I'm not in pain right now." he admitted as I shut my eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again.

"I'm okay too."

He found my hand between us on the mattress and squeezed my fingers tight. I didn't know if this was a good idea but it did serve the purpose and for now, that was going to be enough.

"Why didn't you want me to blow you?"

He chuckled and finally turned his head my way. It took me a few seconds but I did the same and when our eyes met, I realized he was smirking and it made me smile.

"You said it only stopped the pain for about an hour, yea?" he asked, making me nod and frown. "I'm keeping it for round two. If you're willing, of course."

I let my eyes roam on his face again and I smiled more, bringing my hand to his cheek.

"I am."

                                         --

Surprisingly, we ended up having sex a few times on that night, in-between a few hours of slumber and cuddling, and when I woke up, I turned around in bed to hide my face from the sun only to realize he was not in bed anymore. I kept my eyes close and my heart started aching again but I breathed in deeply and finally sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was still naked and searched the bed for my clothes before I actually found them on the floor, and quickly put them back on.

I walked to the kitchen with a yawn as I pulled on my hair without much success. Louis turned to me and smiled when our eyes met.

"Nice hair, princess." he chuckled. "That's what your sex hair looks like... Interesting!"

"You're such an arse I swear." I grimaced, amused, as I let myself fall on one of this chairs. "Are you really making breakfast?"

"Bacon, eggs, and toasts." he explained, putting a plate in front of me. "Nothing too fancy."

I let out a laugh when I noticed he made eyes with the eggs and a mouth with the bacon, making him smile more.

"You're an idiot, Tommo." I just said with a chuckle. "But thank you."

"For the breakfast?"

"And for last night."

He stopped moving completely but stared down at his plate and suddenly, I felt extremely guilty. I had ruined things between us just like I was scared I had and I swallowed hard. I couldn't lose Louis, I couldn't handle losing him.

"Shit, you regret it, don't you?"

He looked up and his eyes met mine before he frowned and shook his head a bit.

"Olivia, we had sex five fucking times. You don't regret five fucks that happened on the same night." he pointed out, making me breathe out the air I wasn't even aware I was holding. "I just thought we wouldn't talk about it anymore, I thought that's what you wanted."

It took me a few seconds to answer and I just licked my lips.

"It happened. I don't regret it. And I sure as hell won't forget it." I explained, shrugging a shoulder. "I'm just scared it'll change things between us."

"It won't. You're my best friend. That won't change."

I sent him a small smile and nodded, feeling a bit relieved. I knew I would be sure that nothing had changed between us only after a few days of hanging out like we used to but I trusted Louis and I knew he'd tell me if he thought things were different now.

"What are you gonna do now?"

We had both heard and asked this question a lot in the past 12 hours but I just sighed again, shaking my head.

"I'm just gonna... survive for a while I guess." I explained, taking a sip of my coffee. "And then i'll just... i'll work on myself. There are so many parts of me I noticed when I was with Niall, so many things I felt, so many flaws I have... that I need to work on. I think that's what i'll do. Work on meself."

When I looked up at my best friend, he was smiling. Not smirking the way he usually does, but sincerely smiling and it made me smile too.

"I know I always call you 'princess' but... you just turned into a 'queen' now."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Why? Because of what we did last night?"

"No, silly!" he chuckled and rolled his eyes too. "But what you just said? That's wise. It's actually inspiring me."

"Then let's both do that." I suggested. "We need to take care of ourselves, do things we like, work on us and... and find out who we really are. Who we are without them, as a whole... as complete human beings."

He tilted his head and his eyes became smaller as he studied me.

"Let's do that, queen." he agreed with a nod, making me grin even more. "Love you."

"Love you too."

[wxsuthorn]

ranking every single asian drama/series/movie that i have ever watched

(this isn’t 100% accurate cuz I’ve decided to include shows that are still airing and they may move up or down on the list once they’ve finished airing. Shows with multiple seasons/spin-offs will be counted as one unless I decided that they’re too different to be in one rank. And lastly, I don’t dislike the shows that are low on the list—unless I explicitly say so—I’ve just watched a shitload of dramas, so don’t attack me if ur fave is at 26 or smth lmao)

I did my best to keep the explanations short and avoid spoilers

1. The Gifted

Are you surprised? Do I even need to explain?

2. HIStory 3: Trapped

Again, should be pretty self-explanatory. The plot? The acting? The tropes? Utter perfection. 

3. 3 Will Be Free

Haha. 3wbf... is 3rd place. It’s just amazing and so criminally underrated. 

4. Until We Meet Again

I LOVE THIS SHOW SM I WATCHED IT 7 TIMES KLJFSLKJDFS I JUST LOVE IT PLUS FLUKE’S ACTING AND DEANPHARM ARE JUST SO HEALTHY AND WHOLESOME AND CARING I LOVE THEM.

5. He’s Coming To Me

a GODLY show !!! SO UNDERRATED. Ugh that rooftop scene TT.

6. The Untamed

I know it’s shocking that this isn’t higher up IM SORRY OKAY but this show was so good i cried so much lksjlfjdsfdjlkf GOD TIER.

7. Theory of Love

G O D L Y. It has the best scenes that just punch you in the gut and make you cry while you think about them at night.

8. Great Men Academy

WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. anyways i would die for tangmo.

9. Cherry Magic

MY FAVOURITE ON AIR SHOW. It’s so fucking good and it’s sooooo relatable and cute and fun and just GOOD. Ugh it’s a whole blessing. Literally the concept is also just amazing, plus the representation is actually accurate?? LIKE ITS SO RELATABLE JLSJFKJKJKD AND REAL. AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO KLJLKFJDLKJLSKJD.

10. I Told Sunset About You

THE SETS ARE SO PRETTY. THE VISUALS. ASTOUNDING. THE ACTING KSLJFKJLDF. It exceeded my expectations holy crap and the chinese culture incorporated into it feels so nice and genuine. literally i watched some of it today before my chinese class lmao. OMG AND THE OST.

11. Mr. Heart

ugh this show stole my heart (pun intended).

12. Dark Blue Kiss

SO. GODDAMN. UNDERRATED. THE WAY IT ACCURATELY REPS LGBTQ+ YOUTH’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR PARENTS AND COMING OUT AND EXPECTATIONS G O D L Y

13. Oxygen

SOFT. HEALTHY. CUTE. H E I G H T  D I F F E R E N C E.

14. 2gether

would’ve been higher if it werent for the last two episodes of the show, but still2gether redeemed it quite a bit.

15. HIStory 2: Crossing The Line

QIU ZIXUAN LKDSJFLDJLJFDKJSLJ CUTE AS FUCK.

16. Where Your Eyes Linger

tHAT OST. AND THE LAST SCENE. I MEAN SHIT SLJFSDKJFLSDJFK.

17. HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

it’s so soft and at first i was so hesitant to watch it with the age gap but it was surprisingly like really healthy? and like the mom with the fruit knife?

18. Love By Chance

IM SORRY I PUT THIS SO LOW its just that klano and tumtar were not my cup of tea and i watched it mostly for aepete only for them to be apart at the end of season 1. I like season 2 but this time i only have tincan...

19. Gameboys

okay i was going to put this way higher because ITS SO FUCKING GOOD LITERALLY but then again i felt more impressed/attached to the ones above... BUT LITERALLY PEARL AND CAIREEL ARE JUST SDLSJDFSKDFL THE BEST.

20. Sotus

If i could put multiple shows in one rank i would but ive decided not too cuz then there would only be 6 ranks with 10 shows in each one... that’s why sotus is so low TT SORRY I LOVE IT BUT I LOVE OTHER SHOWS A LITTLE MORE.

21. 2Moons2

it was enjoyable. I didn’t like the main couple much tho.

22. Red Wine In The Dark Night

omg this movie i really liked it especially the ending it was really symbolic and i really like slight-horror type things. also FLUKE !!!! a KING of acting.

23. Transit Girls

SOFT WLW.

24. My Engineer

don’t get me wrong i love this show BUT it’s yet another engineering concept and i just don’t see it going above the other dramas...

25. Why R U

the plot was messy but the chemistry between the actors saved the entire show.

26. TharnType

I KNOW ITS LOW DONT KILL ME the plot was good but i don’t like how lhong was painted as a misunderstood little boi like HE IS A CRIMINAL DONT GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION ARC AND DONT TRY TO MAKE ME PITY HIM. also the non-con was uncomfy as hell.

27. A Round Trip To Love

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND SYMBOLISM ON GOD ISLJFDLJD. i don’t see this movie as like... an example of a healthy relationship... but the story itself is really interesting and the way the characters change yet stay the same is cool.

28. The Shipper

i enjoyed watching it but i dont think i could rewatch it. it was good nonetheless, i don’t regret watching it at all.

29. Together With Me

it’s good. but the side plots/side couples were not it. yihwa is a queen tho.

30. Ingredients

SOOOOO CUTE LSKJFDKJJF. but the plot is kinda nonexistent but IT DOESNT MATTER CUZ ITS CUTE AND FLUFFY AND UWU AND JEFF.

31. The Effect

this show gave me depression but damn the theme was so real. 

32. Guardian

everything was going great until the jin ling dude got a girlfriend and the end happened.

33. History 3: Make Our Days Count

i was spoiled for the ending and it ruined my watching experience TT

34. YYY

i love it

35. Addicted

It was my first bl drama and i really liked it but again the non-con/kidnapping thing makes me uncomfy. also IT WAS DISCONTINUED IM SO SAD SLKDJFLSKJDFKSJD IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER THEN WAS CANCELLED TT

36. Make It Right

fuse took too long to break up with his gf honestly oasflsajdfaldj bUT FRAME AND BOOK.

37. My Gear And Your Gown

CUTE but its another engineering x medical student trope and it’s still airing so i dont have too much of an opinion on it.

38. Pearl Next Door

its still airing (only 2 eps are out as of the time im writing this) and istg if pearlex isnt endgame im suing.

39. Friend Zone

first season was good but season two is gripping me by the throat. 

40. Because Of You 2020

CUTE

41. The Lover

i only watched the bl cuts but they were cute

42. Lovesick

season one was great but season 2 was too long i skipped so much of it lmao.

43. Puppy Honey

ngl i only watched it for offgun lmao. season one was good and i watched the hets too but season 2 was when i only watched the offgun scenes lmao

44. En Of Love

tossara was my fave cuz they cute and healthy. 

45. As If You Whisper

it was so short but so nice TT.

46. I’m Tee, Me Too 

still airing... kinda pointless?

47. 2 Moons

the acting... oof

48. My Dream

it started out so promising but THE FUCKING ENDING WAS LKSDJFLKS

49. Kiss + Kiss Me Again

I only watched the petekao scenes lmao.

50. History 1: Away From Me

cutee

51. History 1: Obsession

interesting? 

52. HIStory 1: My Hero

fine

53. My Day

i dropped it... tell me if i should get back into it cuz i kinda just wasn’t feeling it.

54. Lily Fever

cute wlw but it made no sense?

55. Hotel Stars

sorta dry lmao

56. The Best Twins

i dropped it but thor was epic

57. Reminders

PERTH’S ACTING KSJLFDJL but like what was the point? idk it was kinda frustrating.

58. 2Wish

i honestly don’t even remember what happened lmao

59. The Moment; I Need You

i just couldn’t when the guy faked an od. other than that it was eh. second season was better than the first (idk if it counts as a season tho cuz its so short)

60. Waterboyy (series)

DISGUSTING I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS TERRIBLE FUCK THIS SHOW I DESPISE IT

[rennyforpresident]

Renny’s BBSim: First Boots Week 4

Welcome back to Biiiiiiiig Brother!

@ashleaevans @bathroom-sand @kaysarswhore @kayysarridha @kelleekim @lahallucinations @maxdoesbb @misshoh @music-obsessednerd @nerdphobic @nomwastaken @pawn2393 @phylisisley @remember-caltoru @rennyforpresident @shaolinbynature

Previously, a house flip shook up the game. @nomwastaken took a shot at @ashleaevans to try and solidify his side of the house as the majority, but after some intense strategy and an earth-shaking speech, the house changed it’s mind, and voted out @kayysarridha, the season’s eternal nominee, instead.

Immediately after the vote, @nomwastaken, @misshoh, and @kaysarswhore meet up in the bathroom to aggressively whisper

@nomwastaken: “One of you needs to win this HOH. We can’t trust anyone in our alliances now because there were only four votes to keep @kayysarridha.”

@kaysarswhore: “You’re telling me?! I’m the one who’s public enemy number 1 now. These people better watch their fucking backs. My money’s on @remember-caltoru being the traitor and the Block Destroyers staying faithful”

The narrator from above: “The Block Destroyers, were not in fact, all staying faithful”

Before the HOH, all of the alliances had separate meetings at different times throughout the house. Miraculously, no blow ups happened, and every alliance remains in tact

But how long can that possibly last? With the HOH competition in the air, everything is uncertain.

This one looks like it’s gonna hurt! And some people can’t take the heat right away!

@ashleaevans, who is arguably in the most vulnerable position, drops first!

@ashleaevans in the DR: “*violent sobbing* I just lost my grip! I only lasted 8 minutes! I can’t believe I look so stupid”

The other four don’t last much longer, with @lahallucinations dropping out after 26 minutes

The other four have a bad go of it as well.

@misshoh in the DR: “I feel so useless to my alliance! I can’t win shit. All I do is throw pizza rolls, lose at comps, eat hot chip, and lie!”

At the 55 minute mark, three remain

It’s @kaysarswhore against the Dynamic Duo. Will @kaysarswhore secure her safety and flip the house again? Or will @shaolinbynature and @phylisisley secure safety for themselves and take the power back from the bigger alliances?

At the 1 hour and 10 minute mark, @shaolinbynature is really starting to feel it

@shaolinbynature to @phylisisley: “Do you got this? I can’t keep going, I’m sorry”

@phylisisley, loudly: “I could be here ALL DAY. I’m perfect up here”

Hearing that her ally is solid, @shaolinbynature drops

The competition is STIFF. The two of them hang on for a solid 2 hours and 24 minutes. Neither of them talk the entire time. Suddenly:

@phylisisley: “If you keep me and one other person safe, I’ll drop.”

@kaysarswhore, desperate for a win, shakes her head violently. 

@phylisisley: “Promise?”

@kaysarswhore:

Taking it as a yes, @phylisisley makes the call.

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@kaysarswhore! You have secured your safety for the week and earned the right to nominate two of your fellow houseguests for eviction!

The house is both stunned and disappointed when they see @phylisisley fall. @kaysarswhore, on the other hand, runs over to @nomwastaken and @misshoh and screams and shouts about their alliance’s win. @nerdphobic and @pawn2393 join in too, even though we ALL know where @pawn2393‘s vote went.

Later on that night, @phylisisley talks with @kaysarswhore in the HOH room.

@phylisisley: “So about our deal. As long as myself and @shaolinbynature stay off the block, I don’t care what you do.”

@kaysarswhore: “That sounds solid to me. I wasn’t targeting the two of you regardless, and I’m grateful you gave me this gift this week.” 

@kaysarswhore in the DR: “Thanks for giving me this info @phylisisley! Now I know exactly who your number 1 is *cackling*”

At the nomination ceremony, @kaysarswhore walks out wearing the HOH robe to make her nominations, ready to show these people who’s really in charge. She stands and makes her decision

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@kaysarswhore: “I have decided to nominate you @music-obsessednerd and you @shaolinbynature. @music-obsessednerd, you know that I think you’re human garbage. You don’t deserve to be here, and I wish you hadn’t walked through those doors this season. @shaolinbynature, you are quickly becoming the biggest threat in this house. I know who you’re aligned with, and I know that if I had not won, my ass would be on that block. I’m cool with either of you going home. And if one of you manages to save yourself from the block, @ashleaevans, I hope you know your place in this house: at the bottom. This nomination ceremony is adjourned.”

Immediately after the ceremony, while people are hugging the nominees, @music-obsessednerd stands up and says, “Just because I’m the only one who’s not afraid to call you out on your shit doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be here!”

@ashleaevans: “No! I’m not afraid either! She needs to go! Get the f*ck out of here!”

@kaysarswhore, knowing she’s safe this week and has her allies with her,she remains unbothered, returns the key box to the storage room, and heads upstairs, refusing to talk to either nominee.

Later though, @phylisisley heads to the DR

@phylisisley in the DR: “ @kaysarswhore is DEAD. She promised me that @shaolinbynature would be safe, so at the end of the day? She’s made a shit ton of enemies today. Her ship is as good as sunk.”

This veto is gonna be INSANE

@kaysarswhore draws @nomwastaken and does a little happy dance. @music-obsessednerd draws Houseguest’s Choice and chooses @rennyforpresident to play! The two are close, and @rennyforpresident will definitely use it if he wins. Lastly, @shaolinbynature is visibly disappointed when she draws @misshoh to compete. She knows there’s not a shot in hell she’ll use it on her.

I screamed out loud when the sim gave me this comp I love it here

This one is gonna require some muscle! Something some of these contestants don’t have! Both of them getting stuck in the honey, these two finish last with zero bears

With a total of 1 bear retrieved

@kaysarswhore just couldn’t get into the swing of things, and fell behind too early.

In third place, with 3 bears retrieved

It all comes down to @shaolinbynature and @misshoh. Will @misshoh pull out her first win of the season? Or will @shaolinbynature come through and pull herself off the block? The winner is...

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@misshoh! You have won the Golden Power of Veto!

The two nominees feel hopeless, and at the veto ceremony, @misshoh stands and makes her decision.

@misshoh: “This is Week 4. At this point, it makes no sense for me to go back on my word and change up the house that I intentionally tried to set up. Sorry about it, but...

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The nominees are locked in, and chaos is allowed to ensue.

The next day, now trying to change their rebrand from “I’m sorry about the pizza rolls” to “I’m just a big goofball!”, @misshoh makes a split decision to bring some laughter to the house

People are shocked at the public nudity, but laugh their asses off at the sight! They only call @misshoh “The Streak” for the rest of the week

On a more serious note, a few hours later, @phylisisley, @ashleaevans, and @shaolinbynature were all sitting inside when @lahallucinations walked in to drop a bomb

@lahallucinations: “A plane just flew over the backyard and it had a banner that said “@phylisisley is a LIAR. Get her OUT””

Shocked, @phylisisley left to the backyard to see everyone talking about it. She broke down, wondering what she possibly could have done so wrong as to have America hate her like this.

@phylisisley: “Of all the people in the house, I’M the liar? No fucking way”

EVICTION NIGHT

Arisa: “Hello again houseguests! This week, we have our little problem under control, so I wanna know how you’re all doing! @music-obsessednerd, what is the mood in the house this week?”

@music-obsessednerd: “Tense is an understatement! *house laughter* These people are absolutely nuts, and the way we’re playing the game right now is messy, but we’re all having fun! At least I am!”

Arisa: “Good! We love to have fun here! @kelleekim, how was life as a Have-Not this week?”

@kelleekim: “It was awful! The only thing I enjoyed was the slop pancakes that @music-obsessednerd made. WHAT a COOK!”

Arisa: “We love a little creativity! Well, let’s sour that positive note with a negative one; it’s time for an eviction. But first, the two nominees have one last chance to sway votes.”

@music-obsessednerd: “You guys know me, and I’m anything but a liar. I keep it real all of the time, and that’s why you know who my only target is. If I stay, I’m working with you as long as your name isn’t @kaysarswhore. Otherwise, we’re good! Vote for me, and I hope we get to play this game together longer!”

@shaolinbynature: “This has been an INSANE ride so far, and I desperately need it to continue. I have wanted my second chance at BB for so long, and for it to be gone so soon would break my heart. I hope you all vote to keep me, and together we can shake this house up next week!”

Arisa: “Folks, it’s time to vote.”

@ashleaevans and @kelleekim both love @music-obsessednerd, but they think they have a better shot at beating the alliances with @shaolinbynature on their side. @lahallucinations, however, thinks otherwise

The Block Destroyers, yet again, are a mess. @misshoh and @nomwastaken decide to split their votes, knowing they’ll be able to pull off the same messy framing they pulled last week. @nerdphobic, thinking his alliance is strong, votes out @shaolinbynature.

@remember-caltoru, knowing The Fearsome Four won’t last much longer, votes to evict @music-obsessednerd in the hopes that @shaolinbynature can pull out more wins. @rennyforpresident refuses to vote out his bestie, and evicts @shaolinbynature

Of course @phylisisley isn’t gonna break her final2 deal with @shaolinbynature. That means that it’s 5-4, and @music-obsessednerd needs @pawn2393 to secure a tie and bank her hopes on @kaysarswhore. Will he work with his fellow Block Destroyers? Or will he flip on them yet again?

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@pawn2393 flips yet again. Could this be the week he defects from the alliance?

Arisa: “When I reveal the name of the evicted houseguest, they will have one minute to gather their belongings, say their goodbyes, and exit the Big Brother house.”

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Arisa: “Come on out, @music-obsessednerd!”

Arisa: “What happened!? @music-obsessednerd, you went from being the first HOH to being out of the house so early!”

@music-obsessednerd: “I got ripped off! @kaysarswhore came in guns blazing and fired right at me. I hope these people can actually band together next week to take her down! Lord knows I would have done it if I had the chance.”

Arisa: “How do you think the game would have played out if @shaolinbynature had won that HOH?”

@music-obsessednerd: “Well I can guarantee I wouldn’t be sitting here! *audience laughter*. These people weren’t afraid to play, but none of them could win comps. If they don’t take her out before jury, they’re fools.”

Arisa: “So we know what they have to do to make it far, but who do you think actually can?”

@music-obsessednerd​: “Well my BFF in the house was @rennyforpresident​, so I’m rooting for him all the way. @lahallucinations​ also has a hell of a game, and I think if she continues to fly under the radar, she’ll be standing there in the end for sure.”

Arisa: “Well, it’s been lovely having you with us!

Only one more boot before jury begins! Who will make it and get that fat jury bonus check? Find out next time. For now, from outside the Big Brother house, I’m Arisa Cox, and remember, someone is aaaaaaaaaalways watching!”

@music-obsessednerd​ i am SO SORRY this is the second time you’ve left pre-jury I hate it here (but u beat your last placement by a week! lol)

As for the rest of you, this sim is JUST getting started, get ready for a ROLLER COASTER

[fresh-outta-jams]

Plastic Heart - Part 14

Namjoon x Reader Author: Mo Summary: When you get the highly-anticipated BTS dolls for Christmas, your life takes a turn in a way you never could have expected. Note: Ooooooooof y’all aren’t ready. You think you’re ready, but you’re not ready. <3 Warnings: None? heheheh Word Count: 1.8k

Prologue, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

It was late. You’d put Koya to bed a while ago, and the other boys were in their beds, too. Namjoon was sitting across the couch from you while you read one of the new books you’d picked up. He took a nervous breath and scooted a little closer to you. The clock was ticking closer and closer to midnight, and he was afraid that whatever had happened to him was a Cinderella deal. So, you agreed to stay up with him just in case. You didn’t want him to be alone if he did change back.

“Hey, uh…” Namjoon’s hands were shaking, and he fiddled with his fingers. You put a bookmark in your book and set it on the coffee table, turning your full attention on him. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”

“It’s obviously not nothing, Namjoon.” You reached over and took one of his big hands in both of yours, scooting closer so you were right up against him, your legs curled up against his thigh. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I’m so scared.” He admitted quietly. “Today was the best day of my life. I...I never want to go back to being...you know…”

“And if you do, we’ll figure it out. I promise. This happened once already, who’s to say it won’t happen again?” You suggested, squeezing his hand.

“You’re right.” He nodded, obviously still thinking about it. He gave one of your hands a little squeeze. “There’s...something else.”

“Okay…”

Namjoon turned to face you more, looking into your eyes before inhaling a nervous little breath and looking away. He took both of your hands in both of his, thumbs carefully tracing circles over their backs. “I have to tell you this before...in case I never get the chance to be this big again.”

He glanced at the clock. 11:55. Five minutes. Shit. His heart lurched. Well, it was now or never. “I’veBeenInLoveWithYouSinceChristmasAndI’veBeenTooPlasticAndSmallToDoAnythingAboutItUntilNow, but--” He took a large breath and tried to gauge a reaction.

“One more time?” You asked gently, looking at him with those big, kind eyes. Your hand rose to frame his cheek, a careful thumb brushing against his dimple.

“I’m...I…” He hung his head, too ashamed to meet your eyes. He couldn’t do this. He’d ruin everything the two of you had. “I can’t…”

And he would have stopped there, had it not been for the look in your eye, the pleading ache to be able to make everything better. You hated seeing him in pain, especially emotional pain. So, he decided to say it.

“I love you, (Y/N). And not just in a...toy and his girl kind of way.” He exhaled a shaking sigh, his eyes locked determinedly on the coffee table. “I know it’s weird, and I know I shouldn’t because...I’m just...you know...I’m a toy and you’re this perfect human girl and I just…”

“Joon…” You were quiet for a concerning amount of time. “You’re not a toy anymore. And you’re certainly allowed to have human emotions, okay? You’re not stupid and it’s not weird and…” You sighed, squeezing his hand with one of yours while the other tilted his face up to look at you again. There were tears welling in his eyes, the sting of rejection hovering over his heart, ever patient and waiting to deliver a final blow. “Namjoon, I would be stupid to not be in love with you.”

“What are you saying?” His eyebrows furrowed, hope trudging through the swamp of doubt. “You…”

“I love you too. A lot. A ridiculous amount.” You chuckled to yourself. “I just...until today, that could have never been a possibility. But...now…”

Namjoon’s breath caught before he whispered, “Are you being serious?”

“Of course I am. What, do I have to prove it to you?”

“I’d…” He swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing and heart pounding in his chest. “I’d like it if you did…P-please...”

Not waiting a second longer, you stood up from the couch, turned, and straddled his thick thighs. He gasped at your proximity, your boldness, at everything. This morning when he’d been standing in your bathroom, he’d never imagined his first day as a human would lead him here...That said, he certainly was not complaining.

“I don’t know how to do this…” he whispered, looking up at you with his innocent brown eyes.

“Then let me teach you.” You let one hand wander into his thick brown locks while the other tilted his chin up with an index finger. Slowly, you brought your lips to his, closing the space between you. It was intimate and sweet, his lips soft and careful, afraid of making a wrong move. You could feel his heart racing against you.

Tentatively, one of his large hands rose to settle on your hip, the other reaching to rest against your back, pulling you closer to him. Closer, closer, closer until you were on the verge of fusing into one person. He took a shaking breath and deepened the kiss, tilting his head just so.

You got lost in his touch, his warmth, the feeling of his hands touching just the right places, and his lips exploring your own. Your soul was on fire, your heart ablaze, and your legs trembling. You’d wanted to do this all day, and God, was it worth the wait…

You weren’t sure how much time had passed between the moment you first kissed him and the moment you pulled apart to rest your forehead against his, breathing heavily.

“Holy shit…” He huffed, pulling you against him and squeezing his eyes shut. “Holy fuck...I...That was amazing. I-I can’t breathe.”

“Are we sure that was your first kiss?”

He chuckled deeply. “I think that counts as at least twenty first kisses.” He slumped back against the couch with you still perched on top of his thighs. You curled against his chest, which was still heaving, desperate for air.

“We made it.” You motioned to the clock, which read 12:03. It was past midnight, which could only mean… “You’re human, Namjoon.”

“I’m human.” He laughed a little in disbelief. There were no weird feelings in his chest, nothing changing within him. He’d made it. His eyes lit up and he looked at you, tears of joy welling. “I-I’m human!”

“You are!” You pecked his lips three or four times. “How do you want to celebrate?”

“Can I just...kiss you twenty more times?”

“I’m down with that plan.”

***

When you woke up the next morning, sunlight was streaming through the curtains of your living room. Your pillow...wasn’t a pillow at all. Instead it was a broad chest, steadily rising and falling with sleepy breaths. You looked up to find Namjoon, his eyes still closed, mouth slightly open as soft snores escaped him. His strong arms were tight around you and his legs were tangled in yours, a mess of limbs.

You closed your eyes and soaked it in. Until this moment, yesterday hadn’t felt real, instead, you’d figured it must have been some dream. But now, laying here, trapped in his embrace, you knew it had to be real, as real as the man cuddling you to his chest.

A few minutes of quiet bliss later, you opened your eyes to see a little blue Koala waddling over towards you. He looked up at you, watching you quietly.

“Hi, Koya. Do you need something, sweetie?”

He nodded and waddled closer, reaching up with both hands. You picked him up and let him cuddle into Namjoon’s chest beside you.

“Mmmm…” Namjoon hummed, shifting. He blinked a few times and a sleepy dimpled grin spread across his handsome features. “Good morning…”

“Good morning.” You kissed his cheek. “How’d you sleep?”

“Really well.” He murmured, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. “Really, really fucking well, baby.”

“That’s new.” You teased, reaching up to stroke his cheek before poking his nose.

“Sorry, it just kind of...slipped out.”

“No, I liked it.”

“Oh. Well, in that case, good morning, baby.” The arm he still had coiled around you tightened and he pressed a long kiss to the crown of your head, thinking quietly for a few moments before whispering, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this…How long I’ve wanted YOU…”

“I think I have some idea…”

“Oh, Koya.” Namjoon smiled, gently petting the koala’s head with one of his long fingers. “Hey, little buddy.”

“I think he’s already asleep.” You laughed, listening as he snored quietly. “He gets that from his dad.”

“I snore?” Namjoon looked at you and you nodded, giggling.

“Not as bad as RM does, I’m sure.”

“RM snores too?”

“Yes. He does. He had surgery to fix some of it, but he still snores a little. From what I’ve heard, anyway.”

“I FIGURED IT OUT!” Yoongi sprinted into the living room, Hoseok hot on is trail. “I know why Namjoon is human now!”

They looked up at the two of you, each of them smirking when they saw the position you were in. Hoseok addressed it first, smug. “Well don’t you two look awful cozy?”

“And what about it?” Namjoon blushed. The two of you sat up slowly, and Koya relocated himself to Namjoon’s lap. His arm wrapped around your shoulders while the other focused on gently scratching Koya’s head.

“So what did you find out?” You asked, leaning into Namjoon’s warmth.

“According to this blogger, there was a shooting star the night before everything happened, right around the time you and Namjoon were talking in the kitchen.”

“You think a shooting star did...this?”

“Well, I didn’t until I read this forum post from ANOTHER former toy who had basically the same thing happen to her. She’s a Barbie doll living in New York who’s working on her fashion career.” He handed you a page he’d printed. “Apparently it’s happened a few times, but it’s still pretty rare, especially unintentionally.”

“Oh wow.” Namjoon looked over the article, scanning it quickly. “So I...It’s really permanent, then.”

“Yeah, seems like it.” Yoongi nodded. “That also means that with the proper timing, the rest of us could do the same.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Jimin led the other four out to the living room.

“Nothing. We can talk about it later.” Namjoon changed the subject. “Jagiya, I’ll help with breakfast.”

“‘Jagiya?’” You asked. There it was again. Another snippet of Korean. There had been more of them these days despite the fact that you hadn’t shown them very many BTS videos recently, so they hadn’t really had a way to pick up more Korean.

“Yeah, it just...slipped out.” He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning shyly.

“Fair enough.” You turned his face towards him, kissing him softly before getting up from the couch. You’d plugged your phone in and set it across the room the night before, so of course you had to check everything you’d missed overnight.

You opened up Twitter to see if BTS had Tweeted anything new, and boy, were you surprised to look at the top trending. The one at the very tippy top was.

#RMHasAGirlfriend

You clicked on it, heart racing, and scrolled through pictures and screenshot after screenshot of pictures of you and Namjoon from your day at the mall.

“Oh, Fuck…”

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @lilgaga98, @catbugsugarpea, @demonic-meatball, @backtonormalthings, @kbowen9, @honig-bienchen, @coolcat494, @ffantasylandd, @feed-my-geek-soul, @ayoo-bangtan, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @cap-lu20, @finninpoposu, @coldbookworm, @sitkafay, @daniawinchesters21, @okaysoplshelpme, @zamirayinyue13

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

I have a pastry to munch on while I watch, let's get at it. Book and show spoilers below :)

EDIT: full liveblog has been recovered and posted, this is only partial!! Apologies, my original liveblog didnt save lol

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement 😬 yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really scared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOP NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to the baaAAAYYYY

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE OM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

WAIT WAIT HOLD UP DID THE REST OF MY LIVEBLOG NOT SAVE

How DARE