#50'sHousewife!Beelz is kind of my favorite

[awfulheart]

Dibbity-Don't Chiggity-Chase the Riggity-Rabbit.

Being Dolores Baker is a tiring affair, and it’s certainly dawned on her why she never married.  

'Wake up', breakfast for husband, make sure he didn't forget anything, breakfast for self, laundry, murder, housekeeping, getting dinner in the oven, make sure you didn't miss anything and finally, wifely duties.

"The worst thing though, is when he invites his parents over."  She confides to the man in the basement.  It’s been almost a month, and even though games like this are usually fun, he’s getting awful boring.  It’s as if dismemberment and torture does nothing to him.  "Always criticizing my cooking.  Probably because I keep feeding them people."  Shrugging, she rubs her arm.  Still sore.  "The worst part of being stuck in this body how weak it is.  You guys tire out so easy, you know that?"

Letting him keep his tongue is a necessary evil.  All he really says is “Go to Hell.” and it’s gotten old quick.  With no eyes and the rest of him caked in blood and other dried liquids, he’s an almost funny site to her.

"Look buddy, I’d love to go home, but no one is telling me where that chalice is.  I took out Father Macavoy,"  the man cringes, "mmhmm.  That was me.  I just want to know where that stupid thing is, and I’ll go.  Honest."  Crouching beside him, he flinches again.  He can’t see her anymore, but he knows.  "You tell me, I find it, I’ll break your neck nice and easy and you can go to Heaven or whatever it is your meant to do."

"I don’t know."  It comes out in short breaths.  "You have to talk to Peter.  The Priest boy.  He’s the one- he’s the one-"

With a huff, she’s up again, crossing the threshold of the basement back to the washing machine.  Bleach, rat poison, lots of traps, Mr. Baker’s rusty gardening shears - no, no, let’s keep it quiet.  ”You only get the nice treatment if I get the chalice.”

He’s silent for a while.  ”Peter knows.”  

"I can keep two of you down here.  People might miss him, but you know.  I thought that about you."  She gives a short laugh as the grandfather clock upstairs chimes.  "The in laws are coming Friday, and I need some meat for the casserole.  You better hope Peter talks, or I’m taking the other leg."