#4. his relationship with jerry is so sweet? like?? he's a nice guy
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i think they were trying to show pete as a greedy, swindling jerk but they never commit to it. this just makes the viewer confused what everybody is mad at him about
#1. he's a bad gambler. if he were cheating he'd be winning#2. he *does* suggest that whoever has saadia has the goldmine#he never really does anything with that?#3. he sets up gambling at the circus. however he tells the guy not to cheat anyone and makes him get rid of the fake shells#this move does seem to be to make himself more money but also the circus#he never actually steals anything from anyone#4. his relationship with jerry is so sweet? like?? he's a nice guy#maybe a little bit over flirty and confident but a nice guy#5. the scene where jerry says pete *isn't nice anymore* is so poorly done and even my brother#(who is normally anti any character played by dean in m&l movies by default)#was confused entirely#like yeah he does suggest they skip out on the orphan benefit#but not because he's greedy or hates children#but because he's worried that they'll be off schedule and the circus will suffer (and the circus is already in dire straits)#he says some things that suggest maybe he's trying to be shady but he never actually does anything shady#and pretty quickly i think he does have the circus' best interests in mind#it's just one big weird mishandled mess#anyway.#typewriter dings
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Chapter One: Move You
Would You Call That Love
Pairing: Chris Evans x Raina Morrison (OC) Rating: PG-13 (Will be 18+ for some chapters)
Description: There was always one person Chris Evans tended to turn to when he was not in a committed relationship, Raina Morrison. He could confide in her about things going on in his life that he did not feel comfortable talking to his family or close friends about. Chris and Raina were able to establish a way to communicate with one another openly but also being respectful of the other’s time and needs. It was the only constant “relationship” he had, but without all the nonsense of trying to build a life together. A “friends with benefits” situation.However, what happens when Chris starts rethinking his “relationship” with Raina and if either is willing to pursue something more?
Chapter Rating: PG
Warnings: Mention of anxiety
Word Count: 2,530
Note: This is the first fic I have written in ages. Everything about it is fiction. Sadly, I do not know Chris Evans and this is just a fictional take on his life. I do not permit this fic to be reposted on other platforms.
Thank you to @southerngracela and @sullyosully for the support. I also want to give a shout out to @royallyprincesslilly for the text divider.
*Updated for grammar edits.
June 2019
The early morning sun was peeking out of the sky, and the air became crisper after a night of pouring rain. It was supposed to be a scorcher day in June, according to the weather reports. That was not something Chris Evans was looking forward to since he would have to be on-set partaking in outdoor scenes wearing sweaters, business suits, and heavy coats for most of the day. Despite the uncomfortableness his job could be at times; it was all worth it in the end. Acting was Chris’s passion, and he was fortunate to do it for a living. Chris knew he was lucky to be where he is at in his career. From the ups and downs to disappointing film projects that either went nowhere or were rejected by critics and moviegoers, it all helped steer Chris to become the actor he is today.
With Captain America’s story arch now complete, Chris understood that it would take a while for audiences and some of his fans not just to see him as Steve Rogers. Taken on Marvel’s top Avenger’s mantle was one of the best decisions he ever made as it took his career to new heights. Yes, Chris had some reservations at first when he was approached for the role. He did not feel confident enough if he could handle the responsibility of playing such an iconic character. Chris was also worried about losing his anonymity. He liked being able to walk down the street with no one recognizing him or asking for a photo and autograph. Now Chris was lucky to make it a few blocks without someone yelling out at him or screaming “Captain America!”, it most definitely did not help ease his anxieties.
“You got that Marvel money saved up. You can live comfortably while pursuing projects that people would not expect you to take. It’s a win-win situation for you,” said Raina, one of Chris’s best friends, when mentioning the project, Defending Jacob.
“You sound like my mom when you say that,” Chris replied.
Raina laughed at that and said, ��I take that as a compliment, you know.”
“Good. I meant it as one. You both don’t take shit from anyone. And I know you’ll always have my back as she does.”
Raina and his mom kept telling him to accept the lead role as Andy Barber in Defending Jacob. And how it would not only be beneficial to his career, but also because 1.) the show was filming in Massachusetts so that he would be in his own home every night, and 2.) it was a role he never played before: a father.
Sipping his coffee, Chris stood on the porch of his house as he watched Dodger relieve himself. “Come on, buddy. Let’s get you some breakfast,” Chris waved Dodger over to get inside. The pup was happy to oblige his owner and trotted up the steps into the house.
Chris heard his cellphone buzz just as he put down Dodger’s food bowl. Reaching over the counter to retrieve it, Chris smiled when he saw the name pop up.
Raina: Why didn’t anyone tell me that New York is always hot as balls! I can’t take it!
Chris: I warned you about that, but you didn’t listen to me. What are you doing up so early?
Raina: Couldn’t sleep. Nervous about the preview shows for Moulin Rouge. It is coming up quickly.
Chris: Again, congrats on Moulin Rouge. You got nothing to be nervous about; you are going to be great.
Raina: I’m just worried if people will like the show.
Chris: You and the crew wouldn’t have gotten to Broadway if people weren’t interested in seeing it, especially with you as Satine. This is what you were born to do. Scott, Ma, and I will be there on opening night. Carly and Shanna won’t be able to come but plan to see the show on a girls’ trip to New York later in the summer. I know both are proud of you as well.
Raina: Stop! You are going to make me cry. All of you are so sweet. Seriously, I am forever grateful to you and your amazing family for supporting me all these years.
Chris: Can you believe it has been ten years since we met at that Vanity Fair photoshoot for West Side Story.
Raina: Oh God! Do not remind of that shoot. I was a ball of nerves that day.
Chris: I thought the paramedics were going to need to be called for you.
Raina: Haha. Seriously though, they probably would have if you didn’t help calm me down.
January 2009
“Wait, what is this photoshoot about?” Raina asked her manager, Jerry, who sighed in response.
“Raina, I’ve already told you. It is to celebrate the Broadway revival of West Side Story. The photographer is re-creating scenes from the film version,” explained Jerry.
Now it was Raina’s turn to let out a sigh. Despite being in the music industry since she was 16 years old, the whole idea of photoshoots still did not make her comfortable. Plus, the long hours, the bright lights, and the shoots’ craziness left Raina feeling drained. It was now adding other celebrities to the mix brought on a whole new set of anxieties.
“You don’t have anything to worry about,” Jerry assured Raina and added, “Today’s going to be easy. You don’t have to worry about being front and center this time. You’ll be in the background so that you can relax.”
“If you say so,” Raina retorted with a small smile. She trusted Jerry.
When Raina finally arrived at the photoshoot, she was whisked away to hair and makeup and then onward to change her costume. She had already been introduced to her fellow photo mates, such as Ashley Tisdale and Robert Pattinson. Both were very pleasant and nice.
“I am such a huge fan. I have all of your albums,” Ashley gushed admirably.
“Thank you. That is very sweet of you to say. I loved your album ‘Headstrong,’ by the way. Such great bops,” Raina complimented, and Ashley’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.
As the two made their way to the set, each shared what project they were currently working on until Ashley stopped dead in her tracks.
“What is it?” Raina asked, concerned.
“Chris Evans,” whispered Ashley and went on, “Chris Evans is over there.”
“Yeah, didn’t you know he’d be here? Oh my God, you guys didn’t use to date, did you?”
“Ha! I wish. He is just so cute,” Ashley said dreamily.
Raina just laughed and shook her head, “Yeah, he isn’t bad looking.”
They filmed the dance scene from the movie where Maria and Tony see each other for the first time. Camilla Belle and Ben Barnes were assigned the lead roles for the shoot. Raina had to admit; both looked the part. The photographer, Mark Seliger, gathered everyone around to discuss how the scene would go. He started placing people in their spots with Jennifer Lopez and Rodrigo Santoro in their positions as lead Shark dancers Anita and Bernardo, with Camilla and Ben on their respective sides. Ashley was assigned as a Jet girl dancing with Chris’s character, the Jets leader, Riff.
Raina hid her smile when Ashley shook Chris’s hand and introduced herself. Poor thing looked as if she could faint. Settled in the back, Raina was one of the Sharks. She was perfectly content where she was at standing next to Minka Kelly and Jay Hernandez. The three would even make little side chat here and there.
Overall, the photoshoot was going well. Until the bright lights, the loud music, and the uncomfortable costume started getting to Raina. She felt like she was going to pass out. However, Raina was determined to pull through in fear of being labeled a “diva” or, worse, “difficult” to work with; that was not the kind of press she needed now. Remembering what her mother told her to do when the first signs of an anxiety attack were coming on was to breathe in and out. She did that a couple of times as she closed her eyes when Mark said they were changing film and wanted a couple more shots.
Unsurprisingly, someone else was beginning to get restless during the shoot as well. Chris was not a fan of photoshoots. He always felt awkward and never understood what he was supposed to be doing. He would continuously worry if he were coming off stupid or looking like a fool.
Chris was more cautious of the types of photoshoots he would take part in and made sure to steer clear of the ones wanting him to be viewed as eye-candy merely. He was working hard to make a trajectory in his career from heartthrob to serious actor. However, Chris knew he had more to prove to audiences and critics for them to see past his ‘Not Another Teen Movie’ or ‘Fantastic 4’ roles.
Nevertheless, when he got word about Vanity Fair’s West Side Story photoshoot, Chris was immediately on board. He was a theater kid, after all, thanks to his mother. Similarly, with other shoots, it all starts the same. The photographer talks about the art direction of the shoot and expectations for the day.
During the short breaks on set, Chris looked around to see the other actors and performers. While he knew some of the folks on set, he did not honestly know any of them personally. The only person he was more acquainted with was Camilla, and that was because both filmed the movie Push a year ago.
As Chris’s eyes roamed around the room, they landed on Raina, who was fanning herself with her hands. While others were making small talk, he noticed that Raina took deep breaths and her eyes were closed. She stepped down on the chair she was standing on to take a seat and put her head in her hands.
Chris felt bad. He knew an anxiety attack when he saw one. Slowly making his way over to Raina, he kneeled in front of her.
“Hey, are you okay?” Chris asked in a whisper.
Raina jumped at the sound of his voice. She did not expect anyone to come up to check on how she was doing. She thought she was doing her best to be discreet.
“I don’t know. It’s too hot in here. The lights are hurting my eyes, and it’s hard to breathe,” Raina said, continuing to fan herself.
Instinctively, Chris reached out to hold one of Raina’s shaking hands to help calm her down.
“Have you ever tried the 4-7-8 breathing technique?”
Raina shook her head no and said, “Never heard of that technique.”
“Trust me; it has helped me out a lot. Okay, so you’re going to breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds. Do you want to try it with me? Breathe in 1, 2, 3, 4. Hold 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and exhale 1, 2, 3, 4 ,5, 6, 7, 8. Very good. Let’s do it again,” Chris calmly instructed Raina.
“I’ll get you some water. Just keeping doing the breathing exercises, okay.”
When Chris returned, he again kneeled in front of Raina and handed her the water cup.
“Thank you,” said Raina as she sipped slowly.
“You’re welcome.”
Raina let out a little chuckle, “I can’t believe I had an anxiety attack. I told Jerry I was worried about this happening. Again, thank you. I appreciate you helping me out,” expressed Raina gratefully.
As Raina continued to sip her water, Chris took the time to look at her. She was attractive, and he could tell she was a little bit younger than him. While this was Chris’s first-time meeting Raina, he had seen her before at other Hollywood functions. Neither having their paths cross until now.
“Okay, folks, let’s get back in your positions!” Mark yelled to get everyone’s attention.
“You going to be okay?” asked Chris as he stood up.
“Yes. I’m going to be fine,” answered Raina, standing up as well.
Chris helped her back up on the chair, and he returned to his spot next to Ashley. It was weird. No one else seemed to notice what went on between the two. It was like for those few short moments, Chris and Raina were in their own world.
Chris kept stealing glances towards Raina for the rest of the shoot. He kept telling himself it was to make sure she was okay, not that he was drawn to her or anything.
‘Don’t go there, Evans. The last thing you need is to be in a relationship, and she doesn’t look like the type to do hookups,’ Chris scolded himself and added, ‘Most likely won’t ever see her again after this day.’
“I am glad that it didn’t take long for us to meet again after that day. We do have Scott and Shanna to thank for that, by the way,” Chris happily reminded Raina.
He decided to call her that morning after their text exchange. He preferred hearing her voice anyways.
“Oh yeah, at my concert in Boston. It was fate. We were destined to be friends.”
“Yep. Even though you are a fan of the New York Mets and Giants fan, I still love ya,” teased Chris.
Raina groaned, “Let us not bring up sports, shall we. It can only get ugly from here. Anyways, I’ll let you go. I gotta start heading out for rehearsals. Talk to you later. Bye,” said Raina.
“Bye, sweetheart. Take care,” replied Chris and ended the call.
He looked over at Dodger, who had finished eating and was now lying in one of his dog beds near the kitchen table. As Chris continued to sip his coffee, he decided to make breakfast and went to the fridge to take some eggs. Once he got everything ready to begin cooking, his mind drifted to Raina. Chris noticed that his mind had been doing that more recently lately.
For Chris, his relationship with Raina was more than just a friendship. She was someone he could confide in about things he was not comfortable bringing up to his family or close childhood friends. Their friendship evolved when both began a “friends with benefits” type of relationship. This would only occur when both were not in committed relationships with other people.
Surprisingly, this arrangement only managed to make them closer friends. The boundaries they agreed upon were put in place not to fracture their friendship. He went into the situation not wanting to build some domesticated life with Raina. However, at times, Chris kept thinking if he could turn his friendship with Raina into something more. Something more than friends, more than sex buddies, but as a life partner. A wife and mother to his children.
‘Stop lying to yourself,’ Chris’s inner voice spoke up, ‘You’re in love with Raina. Just admit it!’
Nevertheless, Chris could not admit to himself. He was not ready to deal with those feelings for one of his closest friends.
Not yet, at least.
#chris evans#chris evans x ofc#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x original female character#chris evans x oc
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KOOKHEON PROFILE | MASTERLIST
🐶 Song Yuvin [송유빈]
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Personality and traits:
Yuvin is very sweet, talkative, witty and an easy going guy. -> Very friendly and makes friends easily. -> Has a bright and relaxed aura. -> Sweet and bubbly personality. -> Is literally just a big puppy/baby.
Can come off as a bit cold because of his humor. He loves to joke around and make fun of and annoy his friends. -> Enjoys bullying both his hyungs and dongsaengs. -> Has no shame and can be very blunt, but in a funny way.
Does really well in variety shows because of his fun personality.
Some says he both acts and looks like Seventeen’s Mingyu.
Yuvin sang OST «You To The Bone» with BTOB’s Minhyuk.
Can come off as quite a good english speaker because he speaks with confidence, but his english is okay.
An emotional guy. He cried just thinking and talking about his mother and family.
Doesn’t mind skinship and tends to initiate it.
If Yuvin ran out of underwear, he stole clean ones from the other members in Myteen.
Said to be quite messy and doesn’t seem to mind the mess either. -> Once Taevin stored his used socks underneath a shelf before washing them. Yuvin ran out of socks, found the stash and wore the used socks without knowing. -> Kookheon says Yuvin never cleans up. Once Yuvin left his dishes besides Kookheons bed. Yuvin explained he wanted to see his reaction, but didn’t clean it afterwards so Kookheon had to do it.
Yuvin ranked himself as the least loud member in the Myteen dorms and the members strongly disagreed.
Amongst Kookheon, Byungchan, Yuvin and Minkyu, Yuvin was picked as the most competitive.
Yuvin’s bucket list of things he wants to do is: -> Become an animal trainer. -> Travel around the world. -> Buy everything he wants.
He’s friends with former Wanna One member Kim Jaehwan.
Yuvin’s personality type is ENFP.
Ideal type: Exid’s Hani. Someone nice who likes him.
Performance:
Has amazing vocals, and rarely ever make mistakes while singing. -> Very stable, beautiful, soft vocals.
Works hard to further evolve his singing.
His voice fits ballads amazingly, but suits other genres very well too. -> He wants to try singing trot in the future.
He really struggled with dancing early on, as he lacks natural rythm. -> Has been working really hard on that and achieved amazing results! -> Yuvin is very thankful to Kookheon for helping him with dancing without feeling burdened.
Has shown small snippets of him rapping which he’s quite good at.
Says he is in charge of being the visual in the duo consisting of him and Kookheon.
Preferences:
Dogs are his favorite animal.
He dislikes heights and ghosts.
Can’t eat mushrooms because of the texture.
He likes to listen to the song “You were beautiful” by DAY6, and likes the lyrics “You were beautiful, your eyes that looked at me.”
On a deserted island he would bring with him his phone, wifi and food.
Recently he’s been playing the app game “Brawl Stars”.
He’s obsessed with tonkatsu.
His favorite day of the week is Friday.
A nickname that he loves, which was given by fans, is 댕댕이 (puppy).
If he were to have a youtube channel he would like to upload pranks, reviews or anything fun.
Can spin things on his fingers.
Has an alcohol tolerance of three glasses of soju. Said his drunk habits are doing aegyo and massaging.
Yuvin collects lip tints. He has gotten a few comments about his color-less lips, and therefore always wears them.
He dislikes beaches.
Likes to sing loudly at random times. -> He believes he strengthens his vocal chords so that his voice will be able to handle more pressure.
His must-have items are: -> He says aloe cream is the secret to his baby face. -> Ear buds to listen to music. -> Lip balm to keep his lips “moist like a cherry”. -> He’s constantly battling a stuffed nose, so he needs nasal spray. -> Likes accessories and rings fills the void on his hands.
Personal life:
His birthplace is Daegu, South Korea.
Graduated from the Broadcasting and Entertainment department of Hanlim Multi Art School in 2017.
His family consists of his parents and older sister.
His family enjoys singing, which made Yuvin interested as well. -> Started singing ballads when he started middle school.
Has two dogs called Choppa and Myongi, even though he’s allergic.
He loves sports. Soccer, basketball, baseball.. basically everything. He used to play baseball and therefore has very strong legs.
Has a motorcycle lisence.
Career:
Superstar K6: -> At 2014/08/22 Yuvin attended the sixth season of the talent show series Superstar K6. -> Sang “Farewell Taxi” by Kim Yeon-Woo. He got lots of praise from the judges and from there his popularity raised. -> He made it to top 4 and got eliminated at episode 12.
Solo artist: -> He signed with Music Works in February 2015. -> Debuted as a solo artist 30th of May 2016 with the song «You To The Bone». -> Has sung many OST’s for different dramas. “Shouting These Words”, “Ordinary Farewell”, “Perhaps This Is”, “Starlight Night”, “Coincidence” and “The First Words”.
Myteen: -> He debuted as the main vocalist in Myteen 27th of July 2017. -> Myteen had two album releases in the span of two years, and disbanded 21st of August 2019.
Acting: -> Played the male lead role as “Kim Yoo-Geon” in the drama “Loss:Time:Life” from 2019.
Produce X 101: -> Yuvin, together with his fellow Myteen member Kookheon, was sent off to join Produce X 101. First episode aired 3rd of May 2019. -> Gained a lot of recognition for the heartbreaking performance where Yuvin’s microphone failed, and Kookheon (who was on the opposite team) panicked and started crying. -> Also known for his Tom and Jerry relationship with trainee Suhwan. -> Made it to the final episode where he ranked 15th.
B Of You (B.O.Y): -> Considering the popularity gained from Produce X 101, The Music Works decided to debut Yuvin and Kookheon in a duo group. They came out with a ballad called “Blurry” on August 24th, before their official debut. -> The duo’s official name is “B.O.Y” meaning both of you or best of you. The fandom name is “Meet You”. -> The official debut was set on January 7th 2020. This was the day the duo came out with their first mini album “Phase One : YOU” as well as the official music video for the first title tracl “My Angel”.
[© Honeykookheon. All of the information written above is collected through videos, interviews, fan meetings, etc. Please do not copy without credits. Thank you!]
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finally i am posting a complete ref for my oc julie, who was mentioned here:http://trashunlimited.tumblr.com/post/174314389519/do-five-facts-about-your-favorite-oc
this is a pic of her i made, i used a base for it made by the-panda-lover on deviantart, and got their permission to post this here(i can’t draw well sorry).
(this stuff here is copied from my deviantart account):
Here is Julie, my favourite OC and precious baby. She's my version of Rick Sanchez(from Rick and Morty)'s wife. I made her 4 years ago when I first started watching Rick and Morty, and I just can't let go of her, I've put so much hard work and effort into making her. I know Diane exists but she may not even be the real Mrs.Sanchez, even if she was, I wouldn't care, Julie is my baby and I can't abandon her, what kind of mother would I be? To explain, her hair is red because it's meant to explain where Summer's red hair comes from, and since both parents need to carry the red hair gene, Jerry has a direct relative with red hair too. To explain where Beth's blonde hair comes from, I picture Rick as a natural blond(his clones from "Big Trouble in Little Sanchez" are all blue haired because THEY'RE CLONES, and he dyed it blue probably). Beth's nose is also meant to be a mix of Rick's and Julie's noses(rounded like Julie's, slants down like Rick's), also explains where Morty's nose shape comes from. Julie's personality is meant to be the opposite of Rick's, I love opposites attract, beauty and the beast and villains x heroes ships(Rick's not a villain, but he is villainous in nature in a way-STILL COUNTS) and incorporated that into the Rick/Julie pairing. Julie is meant to be similar to Morty in some aspects, while being what I think Rick would need in a partner. Her outfit is also meant to be 70s looking, since that's the decade she and Rick meet, it was inspired by this picture I found when looking up 70s fashion: c8.alamy.com/comp/EXPEM7/1970s… I only found out very recently Mrs.Sanchez was actually unremarkable and mundane, so....oops...the most remarkable thing about her is her being a nurse, but she still seems to be nothing compared to Rick so..I think I'm good? Whatever, IDC bitch.
Full Name:Juliana Lillian Sanchez(nee Kenyon)
Nicknames:Julie, Jubilee, Jules, Red
Birthday:May 16th 1951
Death Date:March 9th 1998
Age:27 years old(main story/midquel), 46 years old(at death), 67 years old(if alive today)
Intelligence Type:Interpersonal(understands people)
Religion:-none-
Occupation:Nurse
Family:Rick Sanchez(husband), Beth Smith(daughter), Jerry Smith(son-in-law), Summer Smith(granddaughter), Morty Smith(grandson)
Romantic Partner:Rick Sanchez
General Description
Juliana “Julie” Kenyon, is the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She has a big caring heart, and loves helping those who need it. Julie has an unconditional love for others, and sees the good in all, believing nobody is a completely bad person.
She’s also a very shy, smart bright woman with a love for reading, cooking, space, science and is feminine and girly.
Personality
Julie has a kind and gentle heart. She loves helping others and is nice to everyone. She is warm, friendly and is optimistic and positive. Even when things look bleak, she tries to be uplifting and to look on the bright side of things. She is soft, gentle and very sweet to other people. Julie also believes that there is good in everyone, and doesn't believe even the worst don't have any good in them. So she does her best to find this in others. Julie cares for other people deeply and always wants to help them.
Julie is very shy, and tends to be timid and nervous at times. She can also be a bit awkward as well and gets easily embarrassed at times. She isn't good with crowds and doesn't like doing things like public speaking. That's not to say she doesn't like spending time with others, because she does. Julie just gets nervous when it comes to new people or a group of people.
Julie is also an intelligent character in her own right. She loves reading books, particularly romance novels, and is very good with things like math, science and English. These skills allowed her to excel in nursing school. She is also fairly logical and resourceful too, and good at memorizing and remembering things. However, due to the fact Julie becomes foolish when it comes to love, her intelligence is often underestimated and even questioned. She is very curious about the world around her, and loves learning new things.
Julie is a hopeless romantic, having wanted love since she was a little girl. She loves romance novels and movies as well. Love makes her act foolish, and sometimes she may make bad decisions, but she never means to.
Underneath this, Julie has poor self-confidence issues. She doesn't think highly of herself at times, and blames her previous romantic failures on herself. While everyone seems to find her beautiful, Julie only thinks she is average looking. She is passive and tends to go along with things, even if she doesn't want to. Her desire not to upset people prevents her from standing up for herself and being assertive and brave.
Due to Rick's influence, as time passed, Julie slowly grew more brave and confident. She became more assertive and sure of herself. Slowly but surely, she became less timid and shy because of him. But sometimes her old insecurities would still rise to the surface.
After Rick leaves, everything goes down the gutter. Julie became more withdrawn, quiet and asocial as a result. She also developed depression.
History
Julie was born on May 16th 1951, to her parents Agnes and Gordon Kenyon. Her full birth name is actually Juliana Lillian Kenyon, but she always has preferred to go by Julie, finding Juliana sounds too formal.
From a young age, Julie’s personality was very evident. She was always a happy and innocent girl that liked reading books and always had a smile on her face. But even then, she was a very shy child and found it hard to make friends. Her closest friend growing up was Vivian Curtis, who she had known since she was a baby due to their mothers being best friends. Her love of romance was also very clear, she liked love stories and her favorite Disney movies were the princess ones that existed at the time like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella and later Sleeping Beauty. Her parents had a very clear and strong love for each other, something Julie witnessed. She also once asked her parents how they met and fell in love, which they told her about.
Julie was also bullied a bit as a child for her shy personality, and this is something possibly contributing to her later self-confidence issues as an adult. Boys would also mockingly call her ugly.
As Julie grew up, her kind and gentle personality always remained. When she entered high school in 1965, she attempted dating for the first time. It didn’t go over the smoothest however, leaving her very upset. But her friends assured her she would find “the one” eventually. In regards to the bullying, it stopped. But this is only because everyone suddenly saw her as pretty and the guys wanted to go out with her. Julie met Mark a few years later in 1968, and he moved in with her and her family, and the two developed a brother-sister relationship.
When Julie became an adult in 1971, she began dating again, and later from 1971-1975 would attend nursing school. In 1975, her parents bought her her own house in celebration of her graduation, and she soon moved in. On the way to visit her in her new house for the first time, her parents died in a car crash on the way there. For a while, this was something Julie blamed herself for it and felt a lot of internal guilt about it. After their deaths, Julie continued to remain in the house.
In 1978, Julie felt hopeless and was starting to think she would never find “the one” and was starting to blame herself for it. But in about June, when Julie was coming home from a friend’s house. Rick was running away from the Fyralogin Empire when he stumbled into Julie after coming out of his portal gun. He had been shot in the leg, so Julie offered to help him, which he accepted and stayed at her house for a few days until the wound healed. After his leg was better, they still kept in contact and were now friends.
One day, Cyn, a general from the Fyralogian Empire, arrived on Earth to take back the fuel source Rick had stolen. A fight ensued, and after it, Rick had angrily told Julie to leave, and instantly regretted it. He apologized the next day, and took her a gemstone planet where he got her a crystal rose. Rick also helped Julie’s confidence boost by assuring her there was nothing wrong with sticking to the gender roles. This burst of confidence helped Julie to stand up to Cyn after he shot Rick, the next time Cyn came to Earth.
After that incident, Rick and Julie left Earth to hide away somewhere, arriving on Glorf and being taken in by two alien siblings named Oran and Tyla. They remained on the planet for a few weeks, bonding and growing closer. Julie found herself becoming more confident, but after Oran insulted and slapped her, Julie’s confidence fell down a bit. Rick managed to comfort her, making Julie feel better. During this time, they also went to a nightclub together, where they sang and danced together, increasing Julie’s confidence again.
Julie asked to return to Earth after feeling homesick, so Rick allowed her to go. They both missed each other dearly while they were separated. Julie ended up masturbating while thinking about Rick, while he killed Tyla and Oran for Julie's sake. When she returned, they snuggled and watched the stars together, before Rick kissed her.
They stayed on Glorf a little bit longer, where Rick revealed his past, and the two grew closer. Julie ended up kidnapped by Cyn, so Rick saved her in sacrifice of his own freedom and life. Julie confessed her feelings and begged Rick not to do it, insisting she wasn't worth it. Rick went ahead anyways, and Julie was taken back to Earth. He escaped anyways, and returned to Earth, where he reunited with Julie, and they made love together, officially ending up as a couple.
Julie and Rick continued to spend time together, having their first date and bonding even further, until Cyn returned, intent on killing Rick. The two fought, and it ended with Rick thinking Cyn had killed Julie, so he killed him in return. After learning she was still alive, Rick was more than grateful and cried tears of joy. When Julie awoke from consciousness, she and Rick talked together, where Julie learned what happened.
He ended up moving in with her, where she began doing her best to improve his mental and physical health, as well as better him as a person.
As a mother, Julie was very loving and caring towards her daughter despite her growing sociopathic tendencies. In fact, Julie wasn’t the least bit scared of Beth, even Rick was scared of her to some extent, and many of the neighborhood kids. At the most, she was just a bit weary. She always looked after her daughter and they were very close. She knew Beth admired her and wanted to be like her, and Julie helped and supported her daughter all the way through.
After Rick left in 1994, Julie grew depressed and lonely, only staying around for her daughter’s sake. When Beth became pregnant in 1997, Julie was disappointed, but still supported and cared for her during her pregnancy. She lived to see the birth of her granddaughter Summer, and even helped Beth take care of her. Early the next year, Julie died, when she was only 46 years old, of heart problems. Tropes
Damsel in Distress-Julie is kidnapped, and rescued by Rick
Pacifist-Julie hates violence
World’s Most Beautiful Woman-She is constantly described as being beautiful by most characters
Fool for Love-Julie is usually smart, but love can make her act foolish
In Love With Love-Julie is a hopeless romantic
Cute Bookworm-She’s cute, and she likes reading
Shrinking Violet-Julie is very shy and quiet
The Quiet One-Speaks for itself
Purity Personified-You can’t get more pure than Julie
All-Loving Hero-She loves everyone
I Am Not Pretty-Julie’s self-confidence issues make her doubt her beauty
Obliviously Beautiful-Everyone thinks Julie is beautiful...except for Julie herself
Nice Girl- Speaks for itself
Adorkable-She's an adorable dork
Heart Trauma-Cause of death is heart problems
Cuddle Bug-She loves hugging people, at least those she is close to
Age Progression
Child
As a child, Julie was very shy, timid, quiet and sensitive. She was still a sweet, kind girl, even back then and liked helping others if she could. Julie was a happy, innocent child that liked reading books and looking at the stars with her parents. Regardless, she was also bullied in her childhood, cementing her poor self-image and self-confidence issues later on in life.
Her love of romance and her hopeless romantic personality, stems from her childhood. She adored the love her parents shared, and liked to hear the story of how they fell in love all the time. Her mother would also read her stories featuring romance.
Julie grew up in a time were girls were expected to be housewives and mothers when they grew up, and Julie accepted this. She had her own dolls that she would pretend to be the mother of, and would do things like feeding them, rocking them or tucking them into bed. She dreamed of what her future husband would be like, imagining a dashing handsome man who would sweep her off her feet and kiss her.
Preteen
This is when Julie went through her “boys crazy” phase. She was even more interested in boys than in the past, but found herself too shy to talk to any.
She also loved listening to popular singers at the time like “The Beach Boys”, Elvis Presley and “The Rolling Stones”.
Teenager
Even with all the changes that come with the teenage years, Julie remained as sweet and kind as ever. The most that changed in her personality was her desire for her more independence, her parents were a bit hesitant but eventually accepted. Also being a teenage girl in the 1960s, she was a big of “The Beatles”, but also liked other groups too like “The Rolling Stones”, Bob Dylan and “The Jimi Hendrix Experience”.
This is the point when Julie saw that maybe she didn’t need to be a housewife and mother, as women were gaining more rights and freedoms. Julie decided she wanted to be a mother, but also gained an interest in becoming a nurse, and wondered if she could keep that career up and not have to stay as a housewife. In school, she was still expected to take courses about cooking, domestic work and home finances, she had no issue with this and she saw it as useful.
Young Adult
Upon reaching her young adult years, Julie headed off to university and got her degree in nursing. She also dated here and there. When she returned home, she found out her parents had bought her a new house, which Julie moved into. But on her parents visit, they got into a severe car accident on the way there, killing them both. This spiraled Julie, who was only 24 years old, to have her problems of self-confidence and self-image worsen.
Eventually, at 27, Julie met Rick, and found herself becoming immensely happier. He brought out the best in her, genuinely made her happy and she fell in love. They ended up marrying and she gave birth to their first and only child, Beth.
In terms of personality, this is when Julie's problems bubbled to the surface and just became worse, only alleviated when she got with Rick. Despite her initial woes, she did become happy with her life.
Middle-Aged
The first few years were happy, but after Rick left mysteriously, Julie was never the same. She became depressed, lonely and withdrawn, spending a long time sulking alone in her and Rick’s room.
Despite this, Julie still remained a good, caring and involved mother. She helped Beth and supported her as best as she could (despite Beth hating her and blaming her for Rick leaving) until her death at 46.
Elderly
Julie doesn't always make it here, but in the realities where she does, she’s very happy and content with her life. She’s still happily married and embraces her role as a grandma, she helps give Morty and Summer advice, remains an involved mom with her daughter Beth, who she has reconciled with, and a loving wife to Rick. She’s also the only one that doesn’t keep putting down Jerry. Relationships
Rick Sanchez
Rick and Julie share a very close and intimate relationship. They bond they share is strong and unbreakable.
These two bring out the best in each other, and Rick believes that Julie is the only person who truly understands him. So he tends to be possessive of Julie, and worries someone will try to take her from him. He isn’t controlling, and doesn’t care about Julie having male friends, but he makes it clear Julie is his and his only. They know each other better than anyone. Rick has made Julie more confident in herself, and Julie has made Rick softer/gentler/kinder and more calm and easygoing.
Julie and Rick also help each other with their problems, and in a natural way as well. They don't force each other to change, they let things happen slowly. Julie makes sure Rick takes care of himself properly and makes him brush his teeth, or makes sure he sleeps long enough or is eating enough as well. Rick in turn helps Julie grow more confident in herself and become more assertive and stronger.
The two met in mid-1978(this is copied from the history part, sorry) when Julie was coming home from a friend’s house. Rick was running away from the Fyralogin Empire when he stumbled into Julie after coming out of his portal gun. He had been shot in the leg, so Julie offered to help him, which he accepted and stayed at her house for a few days until the wound healed. After his leg was better, they still kept in contact and were now friends.
One day, Cyn, a general from the Fyralogian Empire, arrived on Earth to take back the fuel source Rick had stolen. A fight ensued, and after it, Rick had angrily told Julie to leave, and instantly regretted it. He apologized the next day, and took her a gemstone planet where he got her a crystal rose. Rick also helped Julie’s confidence boost by assuring her there was nothing wrong with sticking to the gender roles. This burst of confidence helped Julie to stand up to Cyn after he shot Rick, the next time Cyn came to Earth.
After that incident, Rick and Julie left Earth to hide away somewhere, arriving on Glorf and being taken in by two alien siblings named Oran and Tyla. They remained on the planet for a few weeks, bonding and growing closer. Julie found herself becoming more confident, but after Oran insulted and slapped her, Julie’s confidence fell down a bit. Rick managed to comfort her, making Julie feel better. During this time, they also went to a nightclub together, where they sang and danced together, increasing Julie’s confidence again.
Julie asked to return to Earth after feeling homesick, so Rick allowed her to go. They both missed each other dearly while they were separated. Julie ended up masturbating while thinking about Rick, while he killed Tyla and Oran for Julie's sake. When she returned, they snuggled and watched the stars together, before Rick kissed her.
They stayed on Glorf a little bit longer, where Rick revealed his past, and the two grew closer. Julie ended up kidnapped by Cyn, so Rick saved her in sacrifice of his own freedom and life. Julie confessed her feelings and begged Rick not to do it, insisting she wasn't worth it. Rick went ahead anyways, and Julie was taken back to Earth. He escaped anyways, and returned to Earth, where he reunited with Julie, and they made love together, officially ending up as a couple.
Julie and Rick continued to spend time together, having their first date and bonding even further, until Cyn returned, intent on killing Rick. The two fought, and it ended with Rick thinking Cyn had killed Julie, so he killed him in return. After learning she was still alive, Rick was more than grateful and cried tears of joy. When Julie awoke from consciousness, she and Rick talked together, where Julie learned what happened.
He ended up moving in with her, where she began doing her best to improve his mental and physical health, as well as better him as a person.
After getting married in 1979, they still remained close, and had their daughter Beth in 1980. When Julie began working that same year, they couldn’t see each other as much as they wished, so they were always happy to be together. Julie helped Rick look after Beth as the years passed, and was unaware of the existence of “Froopyland”. Through all these years, they still remained deeply in love with each other.
When Rick left in 1994, Julie still loved him and missed him deeply. She waited for him until her death. On her deathbed, she proclaimed her love for him. Even now after her death, Rick still secretly is in love with her and misses her all the time. He continues to remain sexually active and had that brief relationship with Unity, twice, to try and get over her....hasn't worked so well.
Tropes
Opposites Attract-Julie is kind, loving and pure. Rick is an asshole who hates others and has seen too much. Despite their differences, they’re meant for each other.
All Girls Want Bad Boys-Rick is not a nice guy, far from it, and is a criminal. Julie loves him anyways
Love Redeems-Julie’s kindness has managed to soften Rick’s cold and hard heart.
Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl-Rick is pretty brooding, Julie is gentle. She gives him space and allows his growth to be natural and slow
Inconvenient Attraction-Rick is annoyed by his own feelings.
Operation:Jealousy-Rick can’t help but be jealous, even when they weren’t together
You Are Worth Hell-Rick will go through all odds just for Julie’s sake
Flowers of Romance-Rick gives Julie a crystal rose, which is a symbol for their love.
Beth Smith
Julie was always a loving, caring mother figure to her daughter, and only child, Beth.
Ever since she was a teenager, Julie knew she wanted to be a mother. But she decided to wait until she was married, which she did in 1979. A year after in 1980, she became pregnant and gave birth to her and Rick’s daughter Beth at age 29.
Because of the laws at the time, Julie was only able to take 6 weeks off from work, but she made those 6 weeks count. Julie looked after Beth the best she could, and even taught Rick how to properly look after their baby. As Beth grew older, Julie always remained a kind and loving mother. She helped her daughter with her dreams, and was always supportive and understanding. However, Beth didn’t appreciate her, she saw Julie as mundane, boring and unremarkable compared to Rick. This broke Julie’s heart, and despite her attempts to bond with Beth, it never worked.
After Rick left, Beth blamed it on Julie, saying her mother’s “boringness’ caused Rick to leave her. She fought with her mom, hated her and blamed her for all her problems. When Julie died, Beth was sad and did mourn her, but still held resentment towards her. Because Jerry was also similar to Julie, this furthered her dislike for Jerry. She never truly appreciated her.
Jerry Smith
Julie was upset that Jerry had gotten Beth pregnant, but never harbored any resentment towards him. She wanted Beth to be happy, and hoped she and Jerry would have a good life together. Jerry had been a bit weary of Julie at first because he was scared of her possible reaction, but was relieved to see she was kind and gentle.
He was happy to have her as his mother-in-law, and thought she would be a good role model for Summer. After her death, Jerry was saddened, and tried to comfort Beth as much as he could.
Summer Smith
Summer doesn't remember her grandmother, as Julie died when she was still a baby. But in the short time they knew each other, Julie adored her granddaughter and would help Beth take care of her at times.
Vivian Curtis
Vivian and Julie have known each since they were babies, with their mothers even be best friends for years. They have always been close with each other, and have always been supportive of the other as well.
Vivian has always tended to be a bit critical of Julie, usually regarding her choices and boyfriends. She was particularly unhappy with Rick and Julie’s relationship, thinking of Rick as nothing more than a dangerous criminal. But eventually, she got over it as always.
Mark Norris
Julie was introduced to Mark when they were teenagers. She and him instantly became friends from then on. After Mark was rescued, he began living with Julie and her parents. It was from there that they developed a brother-sister relationship that remains strong.
Mark is the most supportive towards Julie of all her friends. He gets angry when someone demeans her, and always jumps her defence. She goes to him for advice, and he always tries to help as best he can
Tropes
Like Brother and Sister-Mark and Julie are very close. They love each other, but not in the romantic sense. They love each other as the siblings they never had instead.
Platonic Life Partners-They are best friends. It's better that way.
Extras
MBTI:ISFP
Alliance:Neutral Good
Astrological Sign:Taurus(May 16th)
Temperament: Phlegmatic
Enneagram Type:The Helper
Character Archetypes:Caretaker, Introvert, Samaritan
Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert: Introverted
Optimistic or Pessimistic: Optimistic
Daredevil or Cautious:Cautious
Logical or Emotional:Emotional
Working or Relaxing:Relaxing
Night owl or Early bird:Early bird
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat:Methodical and neat
Symbol:Heart
Native Language:English
Spoken Languages: Other than English, Julie knows a bit of Spanish from Rick and various alien languages
Julie has very neat handwriting, and can easily write in cursive if need be. When out in public, Julie walks around a bit nervously but otherwise, her movement is normal and upright. Occasionally, she does cover her face a bit. She also tends to clap when excited, and twirls her hair with her fingers when being shy, or thinking about someone she's in love with.
Interests/Hobbies
Julie loves reading, it's her favourite pastime and she's been reading since she was able to. Her room has a shelf filled with books, and she has a few more books in her living room. Her favourite genre is romance, but she also likes adventure, sci-fi and fantasy stories. She likes classic romance novels such as Pride and Prejudice and A Room With A View, but also more modern love stories(for the 70s..) and likes reading books that have hot muscular guys on the cover. She also doesn’t mind erotica either..
Julie strangely also has a fondness for video games. Since she first played Pong back when it was released into arcades, she thought it was the coolest thing ever and has been hooked since. She owns an Atari 2600 console and has a Pong console too.
She also likes space, and loves looking up at the stars. Living more in the city outskirts, Julie gets a better view of the stars. Her love for it stemmed back into her childhood, when she would sit on a blanket at night and watch the stars with her parents. She loves learning new things from Rick, and learning in general, and their adventures together. She is fascinated by the things they come across, like a crystal/gemstone planet or a planet with two moons. She has a big curiosity for the multiverse after all.
Being a nurse, Julie also has an interest in biology and medical stuff. She has no aversion to things like blood or needles/syringes either, and is excellent at properly looking after people, including herself. She keeps a first-aid kit in her home.
Julie is also a girly girl and so she likes dressing in pretty, feminine outfits. She also loves shopping, especially for clothes. Despite being very feminine and girly, she still doesn't mind getting dirty, and loves adventures and exploring.
She also loves to cook and bake food. She learned from her mother how to at a young age, and has loved it ever since.
Trivia
Julie was originally named Tatiana, it was changed to be an English name(jokes on me, Julie actually I found out is French, but its been used in the English-speaking world since the early 20th century so who cares).
Julie only started out as a design for Rick’s wife, then she developed a personality and well...here we are.
She is the only OC of mine to be paired up with a canon character.
Julie was originally not supposed to die, but instead to live and run away, becoming some kind of badass bounty hunter type. This was changed because keeping her alive was more realistic.
Julie’s original birth year was 1949, then it got moved to 1950 before I finally decided on 1951.
Name Meanings and Origins
Julie/Juliana
Both Julie and Juliana are English names meaning “descendant of Jupiter”. Jupiter was the leader of the Roman gods, and the god of sky and lightning. Julie is the French form of Julia, but has been used in the English-speaking world since the 20th century. Juliana is the feminine form of Julius(Iulianus).
Julie and Juliana both have origins in Ancient Rome, when it was “Iulia” (the letter j didn't exist yet). It has been used in England since the 18th century alongside its other form Gillian.
Juliana was the name of a saint and martyr from 14th century Nicomedia, Blessed Juliana of Norwich. She was also a mystic and author. Juliana was also the name of a 20th century queen from the Netherlands.
Lillian
English name meaning “lilly”.
This name has two possible origins. Either as a diminutive of Elizabeth, or an elaborated form of Lilly. It has been in use in England since the 1500s.
Kenyon
Irish surname meaning “little wolf”.
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Changed For the Better 12 [Klaine Advent Day 12]
Rating: SF for Shenanigans and 4th wall breaking Word Count: 2372 Summary: AU - Kurt’s a struggling actor living in New York, and is currently working on a Made-for-TV movie starring Cooper Anderson.
A/N: Written for Klaine Advent Day 12: Limited
Thank you to the ever eloquent @snarkyhag for taking a look at this <3
LINK TO A03
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11]
///
Changed for the Better - Part 12/24: Firework
Kurt was pretty sure he had had this fantasy once -- being trapped in a room full of very attractive guys in prep school outfits. The reality of it was much less than ideal. Brett, who sat on the couch to his left, smelled as though he hadn’t showered in about a week. Tyler, on the other side, kept elbowing him whenever he had a line - or became too enthusiastic following the plot. Sean, who was standing behind the couch, had on a staticy sweater that kept messing up his hair. Kurt kept glancing to the clock on the wall, hoping this would eventually all be over.
They were one week before the start of the show, and to the point where their run-throughs were in-costume.
There was still one scene, however, that was taking forever to get through, and Artie was having them run it multiple times to get the timing right. The entire cast was on stage where Sam’s character was getting advice on his love life and all the other guys in the school, apparently, needed to weigh in. Blaine had told him it was a scene straight out of his own life - when he had asked for help to serenade some guy who worked at the mall. The scene was utterly ridiculous.
The only bright spot was that he was able to stare at Blaine without fear of really being noticed. He was supposed to be looking adoringly at Sam - the object of his unrequited affection. But it was easy enough to shift his eyes slightly to the left and watch Blaine. Blaine - who looked like he was born to wear the dark blue blazer; Blaine - who kept breaking character and sneaking looks over to Kurt, even once giving him a wink; Blaine - who was undoubtedly and by far the most interesting person in the room. Forget the prep school fantasy of guys fawning all over him. He just wanted one guy. Very badly. To the point that he felt like he was going to explode if something didn’t happen soon.
Kurt began to spend more of the rehearsal time doodling in his notebook. No one was paying any attention to him, it’s not like he was integral to the story anyway. Thinking about his own time as a teenager, he drew a little heart, and without helping himself, wrote a little K + B inside. Then, feeling foolish because he was an adult now, crossed it out.
After rehearsal, Kurt took his time getting out of costume. The other guys had all left in a hurry but he knew Blaine had held back to talk with Artie, so he lingered, hoping to catch Blaine as he left. Kurt pretended to be focusing on his phone when Blaine finally made his way back to the dressing rooms.
“Waiting for me?” Blaine asked with a grin, lightly brushing his arm.
“What, no?” Kurt tried to play it cool, but subtlety had never been his forte and he began to fumble over his own words. “Rachel is having a meltdown over her show and needed some advice right now. You’ve met her - you know what she’s like. So, I had to text her. It’s fine now, though.”
“Uh-huh.”
Kurt wasn’t sure why he was being so defensive. It wasn’t like he and Blaine didn’t walk out together nearly every night.
“Well, I’m glad you waited,” Blaine said. “Wanna get a late coffee or something? I was wondering if you wanted to help with marketing strategy -- you know, since your movie had such success. Artie has some questionable ideas... I mean I know he’s the director, but I’m not entirely sure I like the direction he’s going. He wants to do something gritty and artsy - something about bags floating in the wind.”
While he talked, Blaine took off the blazer, and carefully put it on its hanger -- then proceeded to undress the rest of the way until he was down to his undershirt and boxers. Kurt tried to focus on whatever weird marketing decision Artie was making and not on Blaine’s well-defined arms. Not on the tease of chest hair. Kurt bit his lip. Marketing, right.
“Sure, I’d be happy to give you my opinion.”
Blaine bent over to fish something out of his duffle bag -- his boxer-clad butt now on glorious display in front of Kurt.
“Butt…” Kurt choked out. Oh god! Why did he just say that?
Blaine turned to give him an odd look. “But what?”
Just do it Hummel just do it dammit
“But,” Kurt said, trying to recover quickly. “Actually, I was wondering if, maybe, you’d like to have dinner?”
“Oh, sure,” Blaine said easily. He was already scrolling through his phone (the thing he took out of his bag), and apparently not aware of how nervous Kurt was in asking. “I’ve been meaning to try the new hotdog stand around the corner. Apparently, Trent says they have amazing chili dogs.”
“Well, actually,” Kurt’s voice was slightly higher than usual. Why was this so hard? It was Blaine. Everything had been easy with Blaine. This should be easy. “I was thinking maybe some place nicer? Like the Italian place next to my place?”
“Isn’t that place a little fancy?” Blaine’s eyes were still glued to his phone.
“Well, yeah, but maybe we could meet there in, say, an hour. Time to change and look nice and…”
“Oh, my god!” Blaine’s eyes were wide from whatever he had been reading on his phone. “This is kind of crazy.”
“What?”
“Jerry just asked me out.”
Jerry? Who the hell was Jerry?
“Um, who?” Kurt tried to stay calm.
“You know Jerry - he’s in charge of lighting for the show,” Blaine said. “We’ve been out for coffee a few times. He’s been trying to come out - so I’ve been helping him with that.”
“Seriously?”
Kurt, literally, had no idea who Blane was talking about. But more so, they had been spending nearly all their time together -- when the hell did Blaine have time to have a few coffee dates with someone who wasn’t him. And why didn’t Blaine tell him? And what the fuck was his life?
“And, you know, he just texted me asking if I’d like to go out on a real date.”
This could not be happening…
“And…” Kurt waited, unable to read what Blaine was thinking.
“Well, he’s sweet and nice, and this has been difficult for him,” Blaine said, with too much interest for Kurt’s taste. “Maybe I should say yes.”
“Just because you’re helping him doesn’t mean you owe him a date, Blaine,” Kurt said, a little too sharply.
Blaine flinched, surprised at his outburst, but let it drop. “Anyway, you were talking about an Italian food.”
The moment was ruined, Kurt was too annoyed. “You know what, chili dogs sound fine. And Blaine?”
“Yeah?’
“Will you please put some pants on?”
///
The next evening, Kurt sat in between Rachel and Mercedes on Rachel’s couch, the three of them with their feet on the coffee table, as Rachel fluttered on about her show and Mercedes flipped through the channels on the TV for something to watch. It was their weekly best friend’s night - but Kurt was in a sour mood, munching overly-buttered popcorn, trying not to think about Blaine.
“Hey, look what’s on again!” Mercedes said, delighted when Kurt’s face filled the screen. Rachel squealed and clapped her hands, excited for Kurt. Kurt’s TV-movie had been running almost on a daily marathon. It was fun, he’ll admit, to see himself on TV - but the novelty wore off quickly.
“Haven’t you guys seen this enough times already?”
“Yes, but look how cute you are on the TV,” Mercedes said - proceeding to give him a pinch on the cheek. Kurt rolled his eyes.
“Kurt, you should be thrilled!” Rachel said, shaking him. “All the press worked. Didn’t you say the network is going to make it the staple of the holiday season? You should be proud of what you did.”
“You mean of what Cooper’s ass did.”
“Well, it is a nice ass.”
“I’ve seen better.” Blaine in his underwear flashed in his mind again, making Kurt blush. He was glad they had the lights off.
“Our point,” Mercedes continued, side-eyeing Rachel, “is that you should be happy. Sure, it’s a cheesy TV-feel-good-movie. But it’ll lead to good things.”
“Okay, fine,” Kurt gave in. “But that doesn’t mean we need to watch it every time it’s on.”
Mercedes ribbed him, but taking the hint, began to flip channels again. “Let’s see… oh, guys When Harry Met Sally.”
Kurt groaned.
“Kurt, you love When Harry Met Sally,” Rachel cooed. “This is like your favorite movie of all time.”
“Yeah, when I was sixteen,” Kurt said. He watched the TV for a second - Billy Crystal giving his declaration of love to Meg Ryan at New Year’s - a moment that used to make his romantic heart melt. But maybe Brittany was right. Maybe he was just a cynic now. “It’s just so -- unrealistic. I mean, who really hooks up with their best friend? Sometimes your best friends are you best friends for a reason. And...it’s better, you know, to keep them separate.”
“Sure,” Rachel said, unconvinced.
“Uh-huh,” Mercedes added, giving Rachel a knowing look.
“What?”
“You know Jesse and I were friends before we started dating,” Rachel said.
“You were not,” Kurt replied quickly. “You jumped into that relationship when your other relationship with Brody started to go down hill.”
“Jesse and I have known each other for a while now, Kurt,” Rachel said. “We met when I first came to New York, but at the time I was figuring things out with Finn and he had a girlfriend, and we didn’t line up just right -- and we were friends. Until one day we figured things out and we became more than that. And I think one of the reasons he and I are working is because we had that friendship first.”
“And, to be honest, I still think of Sam as my friend more than my boyfriend,” Mercedes said. “That’s still weird to think about, to be honest. But Sam is cool taking it slow, and we’re both really happy.”
“And I am happy for you,” Kurt said, his sincerity authentic. He wasn’t so cold that he couldn’t see how happy his friends were in their lives. “But considering the state of my love life lately - or lack of one, I don’t exactly get excited of overly sentimental things anymore. Or movies that give you way too high expectations for what to expect in life.”
Rachel gave Mercedes another knowing look. God, that meant they were gossiping about him when he wasn’t there again.
“Kurt, this wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain raven-haired, dreamboat co-star would it?” Rachel asked.
“Who just happens to be the far more tolerable and handsome younger brother of your previous co-star,” Mercedes added with a grin.
Damn, they had been gossiping.
“Blaine and I are just friends!” he insisted.
Of course, he couldn’t fool his friends. “Uh-huh,” Mercedes said. “Kurt - you’ve been crushin’ on him since you’ve met him.”
“Yes, well, clearly he doesn’t feel the same way.” Kurt angrly picked through the popcorn bowl.
“Well, have you told him how you feel?” Rachel asked, in a soft voice.
“I mean, we spend all of our time together, sing together, go out to coffee every morning - you’d think he’d have gotten it by now.”
Mercedes let out a laugh. “Kurt, you know boys are dumb. He might be one of the ones you have to hit upside the head with a newspaper roll.”
“Well, it’s too late now - he’s going on a date with Jerry.” Kurt stuffed a whole bunch of popcorn in his mouth.
Rachel scrunched her nose. “Who’s Jerry?”
“He’s a recently out lighting technician for the show, who must have just been hired because I have never heard of him before, and whom Blaine is taking on what can only be described as a pity date, because I saw him today, and he’s not that good looking. I mean, seriously, cut your hair Jerry.”
“Well,” Mercedes considered. “That still doesn’t mean you can’t tell him how you feel.”
“Oh, Jerry probably knows how I feel…” Kurt shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth.
“I meant Blaine,” Mercedes said. “If you don’t say something, you’ll never know.”
“And when am I supposed to do that?” Kurt asked. “ Just crash his date with a declaration of love?”
Rachel sat up straight, excited. “Oh, god, Kurt! That’s fantastic. I mean, a little limited in scope, but I can work with that.”
“What are you talking about?” Kurt asked.
“Kurt, you should go on the date with them.” Clearly Rachel had lost her mind.
“Do you know how dates work?”
“Go on a double date…” Rachel clarified. “You can ask--”
“Do not say Adam.”
“I was going to say Elliott,” Rachel said.
“Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” Kurt said. “I’m fine with you guys and this popcorn. Who needs love when you have butter and salt.”
Rachel snagged the bowl away from him. “I’ll give you guys a couple hundred dollars - have a nice evening on me. I’m sure Elliott will do it for you - god knows we all know you need to get laid.”
Great - the girls were gossiping with Elliott now, too.
But before he could protest, Mercedes’s eyes lit up. “Yeah, you could have Elliott flirt with this Jerry guy, so so win-win for everyone.”
“Yes!” Rachel cried. “And meanwhile, maybe you could show Blaine a more… explicit way that you like him.”
“Like showing him your butt.”
“Mercedes!!”
Mercedes doubled over in a fit of giggles.
“This is just never going to work,” Kurt said. It was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
“This is going to be brilliant,” Rachel said - completely assured.
On the TV Billy Crystal held Meg Ryan in a tight and loving embrace, and no matter how hard he tried to cover his heart with a cynical shell, the romantic in him always peaked through. God dammit. He had to at least try to get his happy ending.
#s.o. writes things#see told ya I wasn't giving up on this#:)#it'll probably take me all spring to finish it though
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My Top 10 Poems of 2017.
Okay so this is my official top 10 list of poems from 2017 that are my personal favorites. I’m gonna count them down and elaborate more about them because why not, it’s a nice trip down memory lane. So let’s gooooo.
1. Sweet Jerry ~ March 18th.
Sometimes I feel like shaking 17 year old Lil and saying “lil, don’t you dare name this poem that - don’t be sappy dontbesappydontbesappydontbesappy” aha. But there’s no going back and I can’t think of a better title tbh. I actually happened to write this just in time for Jerry’s birthday, aha. Um, I like it. It’s simple, it’s nice. Just expressing how I felt at the time and still do. I may cringe at this poem frequently but if you strapped me down to a chair, I’d admit that it’s my fav.
2. Heaven Beside You ~ May 15th.
Oh look another poem with Jerry in the background, aha. How coincidental. And I used his song title. I’m so original. But this was basically my shitty attempt at interpreting the song, Heaven Beside You. I had clear imagery in my head of sitting against some old abandoned wooden barn with some guy in the middle of some grassy field at like midnight. It’s blue as fuck.
The overruling feeling I got from it was “the relationship is beyond done..it’s undeniably shitty..it’s going to end bad..but y’know I at least still kinda love the dude so for the sake of my sanity, I’ll cling to his company for as long as I can.” Very dark, aha. Not trying to romanticise anything. Although I was definitely using Jerry’s traits for some of the lines. I was mostly thinking of my first love.
3. Lost Highway ~ May 23rd.
This poem is the most special poem of them all. I wrote this poem one night after listening to “I Am The Highway” by Audioslave. I had a big ol’ grieving cry. This was the result. I miss Chris Cornell. It was just another poem back then. But tons of people instantly started reacting to it. Sonia Rockwell even liked it on instagram. Chris was her babysitter/family friend before Soundgarden got big.
Then, after much convincing/support from a ton of my followers and friends on here. I sent the poem to three Seattle newspapers. And on the third try. It got published. That was literally the best day of my life. It was tremendously bitter-sweet but my dreams had finally come true. I hate the circumstances that caused it to happen but...I also wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll always be proud of this piece and I’ll always love/honour Chris Cornell so it works out.
Read the full tribute/article here: https://www.emeraldcityjournal.com/2017/06/remembering-chris-cornell-lost-highway-poem/
4. Assorted Fixations ~ June 17th.
So this poem was half imaginary love story and half real life contemplation that was going around my head at that time. The love story was purely conceptual and it was just the kind of imagery that I wanted to paint. Doesn’t mean there isn’t some truth in some of those lines though. The real parts came from my handling of being published for the first time. I felt such an unwritten duty to be this strong person for everybody hurting.
But at the same time, I was a mess. I was horribly vulnerable and felt so insecure. I was going through a lot of conflicting emotions. Self-doubt about whether I deserved it. Feeling like I had nothing to hide behind anymore. But most of all, after having multiple mental breakdowns. I began to wonder if I could ever enjoy my own successes...or would I just always be consumed by own self-hatred to the point of where I can’t comprehend/accept praise. It was tough.
5. Conquest of Life ~ July 4th.
This was a prose piece/short story that I wrote for myself, really. I wrote what I wanted to hear, what I wished to experience basically. So I imagined myself meeting Chris Cornell in the present day. And we simply talked. But I smartly made the main topic about my insecurities for the published poem. It was sly enough to where I didn’t mention it was about him. He reassures me and then leaves just like that. I’m always cautious when writing about famous people.
I don’t know how well I capture their personalities. But I sincerely try my best to make it respectful. I like this piece because deep down, I still wish I could find out what Chris Cornell would have thought of me. It was a lovely scene and it had a meaningful ending. A lot of people liked it as well. It’s one of my all time favorite short stories and it will always have a special place in my heart.
Read the full piece here: http://sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face.tumblr.com/post/162589016262/conquest-of-life
6. Letter To Musicians ~ July 15th.
This poem is really endearing to me...if I do say so myself, aha. I’ve faced many times in my life where I felt like my dreams are too far out of reach and that I’ll forever be stuck in this phase of where my life is going nowhere. But luckily, I’m constantly reminded and reassured by the many stars I look up to...that it is possible, that it can be overcome and it can happen.
I imagined myself hopelessly sitting in an attic and opening the window, looking up to the stars dreamily. The first two stanzas are about and for Eddie Vedder. I do find him especially inspiring in the sense of how he practically came from nothing and yet..slowly but surely, shot to stardom. I made sure to note the negatives/downfalls of fame in order to also represent and relate to my own demons in life. The third stanza is for Chris Cornell. Discovering his music..despite all the unbearable grief...and promising to never forget him.
The last stanza is literally just me in a nutshell. Being brutally honest as always, aha. Just saying that I try to survive the best I can..in a life that kills me. But y’know, I’ll forever have one understanding solace in it all. My idols. So this is my own personal letter, thanking them in a way. How I perceive of them, I guess.
Fun Fact: I wrote this poem with “Release” by Pearl Jam playing in my head. Welp, minutes after posting this poem online. The official Pearl Jam Twitter posted a god damn live performance video of Release. Safe to say, I cried my eyes out. Incredibly eerie and heartwarming tbh.
7. Rare Bloom ~ September 6th.
Oh look ano---- *sigh* I’m just gonna skip that part. He sure is showing up a lot in this list though, ha. I guess you could say his influence is a never ending embrace to my soul. Okay, okay. That was too sappy, lmao. Even for me. But yeah. This poem is literally just about how much I admire this bastard like as a writer and a human being. Just y’know, really captivates me at times. Yeah, aha.
The overall meaning is that he’s the only flower in the dead garden that is my life, lol. A positive inspiration. The bestest. And sometimes, I just wish I could write with him y’know. Learn the ways from the master himself, lol. Uh, aha. This is embarrassing. I like this poem a lot. It’s lovey-dovey but truthful. The end, lol.
8. Ocean of Doubt ~ October 2nd.
I like this poem because it’s in the ocean, lol. And I can’t swim but I love the deep sea and what lies underneath it. This poem is something I still feel somewhat. I’m drowning. In many ways. But at this time, it was addiction. It still is. But this was a few days before I attempted to stay clean for the first time in eight months. The second stanza is my same cynical view of high school.
I dropped out and I hated how I just couldn’t fit in with anybody. Feeling left behind, I suppose. The oyster shell thing actually happened to me though. The day before I was supposed to return to school in the new year for the 8th grade. I went on a picnic with my family near the docks. I was walking down the steps to swim in the sea. And I slipped on the mold and sliced my heel on an oyster shell that was stuck on the crater below the steps. So yey for fun facts, lol.
The last two stanzas are about me being trapped in isolation. All in all, a part of me just wishes to die and let myself go. But y’know - some people still give a damn about me so obviously, they stopped that from happening. So while those people are helping me. I selfishly just want the attention from those I love the most which are my idols. But at the same time, I’m too scared of that.
9. Self-Hatred ~ November 29th.
This poem is pretty self-explanatory. Everybody listeeen, voiceees in mah heaaad. Self-hatred. That’s my brain. Always. It’s how I see myself and so when I see other people sometimes. I almost always think they’re better than me. Stupid insecurity shit like that. I hate myself. It’s hard to control. I think we all wish at some point that we could start over and rip off our skin.
Become someone else. More often than not, in these fits of hatred. I’m alone and surrounded by silence. Just nothingness. The brutal torture that it is. It’s horrible. I wish I could be better. But there’s just a whole lot going on so. I like this poem for the hideous honesty and realness that I managed to capture.
10. My Favorite Chapter ~ December 2nd.
Now this is my top poem for 2017. It’s a prose piece more than a poem. But this piece symbolizes my year in terms of creative expression. It’s why I wrote so much this year. So yes, this is about you know who. It’s about writing and the process. The poem itself isn’t divided into separate parts when it comes to talking about a person. And I really like that. The lines can apply to the both of us and so it’s a collective existence of sorts.
I’m not saying I have a bond with the man and that we’re soulmates, lol. I’m not saying I’m the cream of the fucking crop. I’m just a girl who’s lucky enough to have somebody who continually inspires her and brings out the best in her. It’s a solace and it’s a gift that keeps on giving. It makes me happy and there’s nobody else who really does that for me in such a consistent and fulfilling manner.
It’s my release. My only pure release. And I’m thankful for it. It rekindled my love and passion for writing. It challenges me. It makes me think. It makes me better.
So this is it. This was my 2017. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Read the full piece here: http://sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face.tumblr.com/post/168100176257/my-favorite-chapter
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tag games.
i was tagged a quite a few games, and i’m on thanksgiving break at last, so i have time to finally do them!!! thank you to all of you absolute sweethearts who tagged me ♡
ten facts tag.
rules: state 10 facts about yourself and tag some friends tagged by this angel @kittae ♡
i changed my major this year from comp sci engineering and business double to business finance with two minors: entrepreneurship and studio art!!!
i have sushi every week. the titanic and orange blossom rolls are my fave
i have been the the biggest swiftie since 2006. i even painted her 1989 album in my still life project. reputation has been on a loop ever since it came out
i don’t know how to do makeup. i can only do eyeliner and mascara, and that’s only when i am willing to put in effort to look like a functioning member of society, which is almost never
i’m a super lazy person, so i wake up ten minutes before my 8 am class starts, brush my teeth, comb my hair, and sprint to class
i basically wear the same outfit every day: sweater, leggings, and adidas. the one time i dressed in something else, this girl in my class asked if i was going somewhere later lmao
dogs are life. so are cats.
i’m currently binge watching buzzfeed unsolved so hey there demons it’s me ya girl
i wear five rings that i very rarely take off
i dislike the majority of candies and sweets with the exception of ben and jerry’s, reese’s, and cheesecake.
top ten biases tag.
rules: Write down your top 10 biases and answer the following questions tagged by the lovely @kittae ♡
asjdhflaksjdf i don’t think i even have ten biases i don’t keep up with many groups anymore aksljfdas
kim taeyeon (snsd)
kim jisoo (blackpink)
kim taehyung (v / bts)
park sooyoung (joy / red velvet)
kim kibum (key / shinee)
min yoongi (suga / bts)
kim sungkyu (infinite)
hwang eunbi (sinb / gfriend)
ong seongwoo (wanna one)
kim minseok (xiumin / exo)
1. between 1&4 who would you rather kiss?
taeyeon (snsd) | sooyoung (joy / red velvet)
askldjfhaksjhd taeyeon!!! i love my ult bias
2. between 2&7 who would be your best friend?
jisoo (blackpink) | sungkyu (infinite)
jisoo has such a lovable and dorky personality and i feel like we’d get along really well plus i’m love her too much and i’m biased af lmao
3. between 5&10 who has the better voice?
kim kibum (key / shinee) | minseok (xiumin / exo)
ugh ok so both of their voices are so so unique and wonderful, but i’m gonna have to go with almighty key
4. between 1&8 who is the funniest?
taeyeon (snsd) | eunbi (sinb / gfriend)
adlkalskjdf they’re both so funny, but i love my dorky cutie patootie taeyeon
5. between 6&9 who would you date?
yoongi (suga / bts) | seongwoo (wanna one)
aldjhflkasjdfhasd oh god this is hard ugh ok seongwoo is so fun and energetic and our personalities are very similar, so that’d be such a fun, carefree relationship but also yoongi... i’ve been a fan of bts longer, so i feel more attached to yoongi i guess? and i admire him so much and i love his personality, like he’s so passionate about what he does and he cares so much about his members in this subtle but very loving way, and when he talks about his personal struggles in his mixtape and was so raw and open with it and i related so much to him and cried while listening to his mixtape, and i’m so soft for yoongi like you don’t understand and currently, i’m feeling sleepy and tired and i just wanna lay down and do nothing and i feel like yoongi would be down to do that, so i’ll have to go with yoongi
6. between 9&10, who would you do a collaboration with?
seongwoo (wanna one) | minseok (xiumin / exo)
i think it’d be so much fun to do a collab with seongwoo but we’ll probably be fooling around and messing with the sound equipment instead of actually recording a collab and doing work lmao
7. between 4&8 who is the best dancer?
sooyoung (joy / red velvet) | eunbi (sinb / gfriend)
i’m gonna have to go with sinb like gfriend dances look so complicated and amazing and i love their dances so much and she’s the main dancer so
8. between 3&5 who would you most likely marry?
taehyung (v / bts) | kibum (key / shinee)
oh god i always say i never want to get married, but taehyung... gosh, taehyung makes me want to rethink that decision. i’m honestly so whipped for him, like he’s the sun of my universe, king of my heart, love of my life, light of my world, the prettiest flower in the universe ♡♡♡
9. between 1&7 who would you nurse when they are sick?
taeyeon (snsd) | sungkyu (infinite)
i would give up my soul for her, enough said
10. between 2&3 who has the better smile?
jisoo (blackpink) | taehyung (v / bts)
THIS IS THE DEVIL’S QUESTION WHY WOULD YOU EVER ASK THIS I HATE EVERYTHING NO I WILL NOT CHOOSE
11. between 6&8 who would you vacation with?
yoongi (suga / bts) | eunbi (sinb / gfriend)
i’m just in a very calm and lazing around sort of mood right now, and i think yoongi would be down for a mini, non extravagant vacation, like not cramming in every single tourist spot into the day but sleeping in and then planning to go to one or two fun areas and whatnot and also because i’m biased and i would be over the moon if i can go on a vacation with yoongi
about the blogger tag.
rules: answer the q’s and then tag some blogs you’d like to know better! tagged by this sweetheart @taehyung-the-baehyung ♡
nicknames: cat, cath, cathy cath, granny, whale, binch
gender: female
star sign: pisces
height: 5 ft 7 / 170 cm
sexuality: straight
hogwarts house: slytherin!!
favorite animal: tiger
average hours spent sleeping: during school - 4 to 6 / weekend - 10+
dogs or cats: adjflakjsdfa why must you make me choose... doggies ):
dream trip: hogwarts!! or the moon!
dream job: gordon ramsey’s job or like guy fieri’s because i want to get paid to eat
when i made this account: i think it was 2014 but it wasn’t active
number of followers: more than i deserve :’)
get to know me tag.
rules: answer the q’s and then tag some blogs you’d like to know better! tagged by this cutie @flakandforay ♡
name: cat
nickname: cat, cath, cathy cath, granny, whale, binch
birthday: 2/22
star sign: pisces
height: 5 ft 7 / 170 cm
hair color: black with faded red ombre
eye color: black / super dark brown
hobbies: art, baking, binge watching crime shows, eating, sleeping
any pets: sadly, i have none
siblings: one older sister
favorite color: black, red
favorite animal: tiger!! and doggies
favorite food: sushi, nachos, pasta, ice cream
favorite drink: water, watermelon juice, black tea
favorite snack: salt and vinegar chips, xxtra flamin hot cheetos
three shows I watch: criminal minds, brooklyn nine nine, modern family
bias group in kpop: blackpink
bias in my favorite group: kim jisoo!!! ♡♡♡
favorite song: “new year’s day” and “getaway car” by taylor swift
three things I can’t live without: food, my bed, my mom
things I notice first when meeting some one new: their smile and if they’re friendly and kind
what I want to be when I grow up: well i’m studying to be an investment banker, but i’m thinking about defense lawyer
fears: growing up, bad grades, failure, unstable future
why I picked my url: aesthete is a person who has a special appreciation of art and beauty, and i am a person who has a special appreciation of art and beauty aka taehyung and taeyeon thus the combo of tae + aesthetes
any piercings: nope ): i had to let my ear piercings close because they got infected, but i’m going to redo them soon
any tattoos: not yet!
favorite day of the week: saturday
love life: kim taehyung is the love of my life
sexuality: straight
what I’m thinking of right now: thIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS DARLING BECAUSE YOU BREAK THEM, I HAD TO TAKE THEM, AWAAAAAAYYYY
describe myself in 6 words: confident, loud, sarcastic, intelligent, eccentric, happy :)
i tag these goddesses for all or any of the tags they want to do: @zephyoongist ; @gukstudio ; @jheartseok ; @yoongihime ; @vintaege ; @earlygreytae ; @cheelchan and anyone else who wants to do them ♡
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My thoughts about episode 7x25
This episode. Oh, my God, this episode.
I searched “emotional roller coaster” on the Merriam Webster dictionary and this whole episode was there.
Amazing, painful, heartbreaking, heartwarming. It leaves you full of fear and yet full of hope.
It’s an episode that literally oozes love out of every frame.
I will start talking about Steve and Danny, because I have so many things to say about them…
I loved how Steve shows up in Danny’s office as soon as he arrives, like he was impatiently waiting to show him his gift. How sweet can this man be? Same goes for Danny, so protective of Steve, constantly worrying about him, constantly checking – silently or explicitly – how he is. This scene is loaded with hints that foreshadow what will come later in the episode, it’s like Danny can’t help but feel something is wrong, and we start feeling the same way: the acting, the way the episode is built make you feel that way and it gets stronger and stronger minute by minute, and it’s so gut wrenching.
Plus, the way Danny and Steve act around Charlie is adorable. The way they look like a married couple, obviously, but – even more than that, if possible – the way they protect him, talking in code about Rachel and Stan’s divorce, because this little guy has been through so much already… To think they both were there the day Charlie was born, looking at him through the glass, loving him already even if they didn’t know yet he was Danny’s child… it makes me emotional.
And what about that scene in the car, when Steve starts talking about Rachel, out of nowhere, as if it’s something he can’t help thinking about… he’s worried, maybe even angry. He’s bitter, he’s jealous, most of all he’s still the man who, back in season one, told Danny: ““I don’t want you to get hurt. Okay? I just want you to be happy, Danny. That’s all”.
Steve tries to joke – he tries so hard, how painful is that? – and says “if you ain’t got nothing nice and positive to say, keep your hole shut … unless you’re “talking” to your ex-wife”. He knows that Danny, out of his good heart – too good sometimes – is trying to put under the rug all the bad things Rachel did to him, but … they’re just under the rug, they’re still there, they can’t be ignored, or he’s going to suffer again, to be manipulated and walked over, again!
And so Steve says it, honestly… “I don’t think this thing with you and Rachel is a healthy thing”. It’s not healthy, he says. I think it’s a very meaningful choice of words. Both Steve and Danny have been dealing with toxic relationships that sucked the joy out of their lives and I hope with all my heart they’re done with those relationships for good. Please, let these guys be finally, truly happy, please let them heal each other’s heart with the love they have for each other. They deserve that.
What about Steve telling Danny “I know that I’m out of my mind, but I also know that you’re in love with your ex-wife […] you got a shot to make things right”? First of all, Rachel was the one who put Danny through hell with her constant threats of taking Grace away from him and not letting him see her and then lying to him for three years about Charlie, so it’s really not up to Danny to make things right, he didn’t do anything wrong, he was a victim!
And I think that what we have here it’s Steve voicing his worst fears in the hope that Danny will prove him wrong. And I so hope Danny will prove him wrong. I believe he will prove him wrong. He already told Steve “you’re out of your mind” for thinking he might be still in love with Rachel and I think he was being honest, I think he’s just being civil and kind with her, he’s tired of fighting, he doesn’t want that for himself and most of all he doesn’t want that for his kids. I hope I’m not wrong.
Then Danny sees Steve taking some pills and his alarm bells start ringing, but his focus shifts on trying to talk Steve out of risking his life pulling probably the most dangerous stunt he has every pulled.
And just moments before Steve jumps, risking his life, the writers start working a whole new kind of magic, in my opinion, giving us some of the most subtle and yet most romantic and emotional moments I’ve ever seen.
How? The chef’s hat. Yes, the chef’s hat. I really believe they masterfully wrote some of the best, most touching declarations of love ever to be heard, just playing with words around that chef’s hat.
Even if he’s trying to pretend he’s not scared of the consequences of that jump, Steve knows that it could go horribly wrong. He didn’t want Danny to open the gift when he wasn’t there and now, thinking that jump could kill him, he needs to tell Danny those words before it could be too late.
“Chef’s hat”, he says. Meaning: there‘s nothing I care about more than you, more than your happiness and your dreams, because I love you.
And Danny understands what Steve means, he promises him he will be there when he’ll open his restaurant (when they’ll open their restaurant?) and, later, he says: “thank you for the hat, seriously”. Meaning: thank you for loving me the way you love me. And Steve closes his eyes for a moment and then says “You’re welcome, seriously”. Don’t tell me that wasn’t a “I’m in love with you”, because it was. I’m so sure it was.
And I obviously loved that adorable scene with them walking away together, holding each other, talking about Steve’s feelings and how the last thing on Earth Danny wants to do is hurt Steve’s feelings. The way these two guys cherish and love each other is so beautiful and it warms my heart.
And then… oh my God, my poor heart bled seeing Steve so tired, so pale, so scared… call me crazy, call me stupid, but I worry about him even if I know he’s just a fictional character… it makes me cry to see how he tries to minimize, how he tried to keep things for himself, to hide his health issues.. but he couldn’t hide from Danny, because Danny wouldn’t let him.
Life made Steve believe that he was undeserving of love, that there always was someone or something more important than him, someone or something that made people walk away from him, and now that he needs love more than ever, now that he needs someone next to him more than ever, he tries to hide it… but Danny won’t let him.
It broke my heart to see the look in Danny’s eyes, to see him so lost at the mere thought of Steve being sick. I so hope, with all my heart, there will soon be… I don’t know, another doctor’s opinion, something that will take this terrible sword hanging over their heads away from them.
One thing I’m sure of is that Steve and Danny will be together through all of this, and together they can face and overcome everything. Danny will show Steve how deserving of love, how important he is, how much he needs him and can’t even imagine a life without him. More than ever, Steve needs to be loved, to feel indispensable for someone, and Danny will be there reminding that he is, every step of the way.
I talked a lot about Steve and Danny, for obvious reasons, but there was so much else to be loved in this episode.
Abby and Chin, their sizzling chemistry and their growing love for each other.
The party to celebrate Jerry getting his badge… it was so endearing to see him so happy because these people love him. He was so lonely when we met him back in season 4 and now he really has a big family.
That super sweet scene with Kono and Sara at the market, Sara being absolutely adorable and Kono buying a pregnancy test… a moment that sheds an even more meaningful light to many other moments in the episode… her scene with Moani, that chilling, heartbreaking moment where she found that doll in the girls’ room, the talk she has with Lou about being a parent … I loved, so much, what she told Lou: “I could feel them in that room. Their pain and trauma. The fear they went to bed with every night”, because it was my same feeling watching that scene. She wants to make the world a better, safer place for these girls and thinking she might be pregnant makes that purpose even stronger, even more urgent. And I know she will succeed, she’s a force of nature, so compassionate, so strong, so brave. I hope we will get to see her fighting this horrible crime, but I also hope she will be back in Hawaii soon. Maybe, and hopefully, the two things aren’t incompatible. Her Ohana - and we - needs her.
As I wrote when I started with this review, this episode leaves you full of fear and yet full of hope. I will hold on to that hope that makes me believe that these people will get the happiness they deserve. Steve will be fine. Kono will succeed in making the world that better place she desperately needs right now. And true love will conquer all, because today, more than ever before, I’m sure that Steve and Danny share the purest and truest love of all.
Thank you for this episode and for all the emotions!
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all the questions bitch
1.Who was the last person you held hands with?
A pal that I went on a date with once
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
Somewhere in between
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
A boy from tinder maybe/hopefully
4. Are you easy to get along with?
The majority of the time, ye
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
Lol I dunno tbh
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
I like people who are creative and open minded. I like people who I can have an open and honest conversation/debate with without judgement.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Hopefully?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Boy from tinder and my pal @jewbikscube
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Lol no not at all, I’m one of the easiest people to talk to you about sex
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Boy from tinder
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
“NICE”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
Seventeen - Heathers, Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story - Hamilton, Beautiful - Heathers, Burn - Hamilton, and Dirty Laundry - All Time Low
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
YYYEEESSSS
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Sometimes, depends on the situation
15. What good thing happened this summer?
This is gonna be super corny but I got to feel that High School Summer movie type thing. Like I went out with my friends late at night and did dumb shit, I had a boyfriend, I just got to have fun and feel young.
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Nnnnooooo (?)
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Hell yeah
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
Lol no, that’d be impressive though
19. Do you like bubble baths?
Hell yeah
20. Do you like your neighbors?
At school in my dorm building, some of them. At home, nah.
21. What are you bad habits?
Chewing on the inside of my cheek and cracking my knuckles
22. Where would you like to travel?
England
23. Do you have trust issues?
Little bit
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
This recently joined into my daily routine, but I really like the naps I’ve started to take after classes.
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
Tummy
26. What do you do when you wake up?
Lay in bed for ten more minutes-ish
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
No, I like my complexion
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
I’m actually probably most comfortable being alone or facetiming my best pal
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Nope
30. Do you ever want to get married?
Yep
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
Yep
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
I honestly don’t know cause AH ?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
No, you’re laying in your bed five feet away and I really don’t need you to turn towards me and see me looking dumb af
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
I used to play tennis!
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Only one person because she was SO FAR OUT OF MY LEAGUE
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
I usually don’t say anything
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
Both: Dark hair, dark eyes, beautiful smile that would make my hurt swell every time I made them smile. funny, sweet, nice, understanding, I like glasses, and freckles
Boy: taller than me
Girl: shorter than me
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Torrid and Charlotte Russe
40. What do you want to do after high school?
I am in college so I would like to continue being in college
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Not EVERYONE. Depends on what they did.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
I’m probably nervous or about to have a panic/anxiety attack
43. Do you smile at strangers?
All of them, yes!
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Bottom of the ocean (as long as I can be kept safe from the bottom dwellers though)
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
The fact that I’m paying for the classes that I gotta get up for
46. What are you paranoid about?
E V E R Y T H I N G
47. Have you ever been high?
Nope
48. Have you ever been drunk?
Many of times, yes
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
Nope
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
Green
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
All the time but I also love me so that’s an odd thing
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
My mental stability
53. Favourite makeup brand?
Elf
54. Favourite store?
Charlotte Russe
55. Favourite blog?
@jewbikscube cause best friend
56. Favourite colour?
Red and Blue
57. Favourite food?
Pasta with vodka sauce
58. Last thing you ate?
M&Ms
59. First thing you ate this morning?
Poptart
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
I’ve actually never won a competition lol what a revelation
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
Neither, I’m a goody two shoes
62. Been arrested? For what?
Nope, again, goody two shoes
63. Ever been in love?
Yep
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
Lol okay. So I was at my then boyfriend’s aunt’s house for his graduation party. We were cuddling on the couch in silence and he just looked at me and I said, “What?” And we kissed.
65. Are you hungry right now?
Nope, I feel sick rn.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
I don’t really have tumblr friends. I have tumblr friends for like a second and then I forget to come on here and we don’t talk, I like a lot of the people I’ve spoken to on here and would LOVE to talk to all of them again.
67. Facebook or Twitter?
Twitter
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
Twitter
69. Are you watching tv right now?
Nope
70. Names of your bestfriends?
Jason, Sydnie, Gill, Victoria, Marie, and Eliza
71. Craving something? What?
Love
72. What colour are your towels?
Lots of colors. Blue, silver, red, yellow.
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
They kind of just sit next to my pillows on my head. I’ve got a super big Mickey Mouse, my “blue dolly” from when I was a kid, and a crocheted doll of me one of my best friends made for me for mmmmyyyy 17th birthday maybe?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
Oh man, lots
75. Favourite animal?
Lion
76. What colour is your underwear?
Currently? Black
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
Milk and Cookies by Ben and Jerry
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
Also black
80. What colour pants?
Grey
81. Favourite tv show?
Sherlock
82. Favourite movie?
Thelma and Louise
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
Mean Girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
Mean Girls
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
Glen Coco
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
Crush
87. First person you talked to today?
You, asshole
88. Last person you talked to today?
You, probably, might be Jason
89. Name a person you hate?
Donald Trump
90. Name a person you love?
Bernie Sanders
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
Donald Trump
92. In a fight with someone?
No
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
Two pairs
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
Oh man, too many
95. Last movie you watched?
The Intern
96. Favourite actress?
Amy Poehler
97. Favourite actor?
Lin Manuel Miranda
98. Do you tan a lot?
Sort of?
99. Have any pets?
Nope
100. How are you feeling?
Like garbbaaaggeee
101. Do you type fast?
Ye
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
Nope
103. Can you spell well?
I like to think so
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
Little bit
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
Nope
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
I probably broke a couple of my ex boyfriend’s hearts when I broke up with them and I broke my own heart a couple of times too.
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
Yep
108. What should you be doing?
Sleeping
109. Is something irritating you right now?
Answering these questions
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Yep
111. Do you have trust issues?
Little bit (this question is in here twice?)
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I don’t know and that’s impressive cause I cry a lot
113. What was your childhood nickname?
Lyss *still is
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
Many of times, I currently dorm outside of my state
115. Do you play the Wii?
Sometimes
116. Are you listening to music right now?
Nope
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Eh
118. Do you like Chinese food?
Ye
119. Favourite book?
Because of Windixie and The Five People You Meet In Heaven
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
Little bit
121. Are you mean?
I really hope not
122. Is cheating ever okay?
N O
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
Lol no
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
A little
125. Do you believe in true love?
Absolutely
126. Are you currently bored?
Eh
127. What makes you happy?
My pals, writing, reading, youtube
128. Would you change your name?
Nah, I like my name
129. What your zodiac sign?
Virgo
130. Do you like subway?
The sandwich place? Ye. The trains? Sure?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Lol we’ve been through that before it’s fine
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
This question is in here twice too, Tinder Boy
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
Can’t we be seventeen? That’s all I wanna do
134. Can you count to one million?
Maybe? I feel like I’d be determined to and do it but I’d hate myself afterwards and be super bored
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
Once in sixth grade I told my friends that when I went to Italy on vacation I came face to face with a shark once. That was SO DUMB.
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Closed
137. How tall are you?
5′3″
138. Curly or Straight hair?
Are you asking my preference or what my hair is? My hair is straight, I like all hair but curly hair is slightly more fun to play with.
139. Brunette or Blonde?
I am a brunette and I also gravitate towards brunettes
140. Summer or Winter?
Winter
141. Night or Day?
Night
142. Favourite month?
October
143. Are you a vegetarian?
Nope
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
White chocolate
145. Tea or Coffee?
Coffee
146. Was today a good day?
Yeah, actually!
147. Mars or Snickers?
Snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?
Don’t be a writer, be writing.
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
Hell ye
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line
She folded and hung his clothes.
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The Walking Dead 7x10: NEW BEST FRIENDS (or not)
Jerry is MY new best friend
I wish the show itself had the same tone as it's titles. NEW BEST FRIENDS suggests something so much more fun than what actually happened during this (sorry, not sorry) straight up filler ep. I'm going to spit some hard truths about The Walking Dead in this post, you have been warned. I am also 100% including a gif of Daryl petting the tiger so there is still a silver lining.
Rick hobbling away with this cat statue also really tickled me
TWD has never been known for it's groundbreaking writing, but this episode was...pretty rough. Yes there were nice fan service moments, but they felt like the sparkle stickers you would smack onto a terrible childhood drawing in an order to make it aesthetically pleasing rather than organic moments of emotional payoff.
The best of these was Carol's reunion with Daryl, something that we have all been waiting for since Carol skipped town at the end of last season. Carol and Daryl have one of the best relationships on the show, beyond the natural chemistry of the actors, the characters have a deeply loving platonic bond that is rarely seen (I guess some people ship it- but I like that this particular relationship is non romantic). The great appeal of Daryl as a character is that beneath his external growling and badassery lies a gentle soul capable of unwavering loyalty and affection (I feel like this could be easily visualized in some way, maybe by connecting him to a some kind of -i dont know- predator animal? Something to think about). As genuinely moving as Daryl's decision to lie to Carol rather than reveal the extent of Negan's carnage was, it still felt a bit hollow and meaningless. Just as Daryl almost immediately discovered the truth behind Morgan's lie about Carol from the previous episode, it is virtually guaranteed that Daryl's own deception will be uncovered sooner rather than later. Literally all the people who visit Carol know the truth, as do all the people who would ever want to visit her. All that aside this was still the nicest scene in what was otherwise a slog of an episode.
Let's move on to the German performance art troop that live in the dump. Woof. I try never to speak negatively about an actor's performance (at least in a public forum), and it is a testament to the overall solid casting of The Walking Dead that a bad performance really sticks out. I'm talking here about Jadis, the monotone leader of the trash cult. She has a great look, I'm not sure who is maintaining that bob in the apocalypse, but I like the Fifth-Elementness of it. She also looks a bit like Olivia Williams, which maybe made me fantasize about what Olivia Williams would do with such a part. For a new group leader though, Jadis is just not cutting it. This is a world where leaders have tigers, fetish bats, and colonial mansions - there is no room for lackluster. The whole encounter with Jadis' group was a bit underwhelming, even Rick's fight with the Pan's Labyrinth reject monster was a little anti-climactic, I mean he used...trash...to kill it. Also at first Rick's smiling was roguish and assured, now its become a little disquieting and...contagious?
Overall though this episode acted to illustrate a larger problem with the series - which is that it fails to generate compelling conflict. Currently many episodes have been dedicated to setting up two sides of a "moral conflict" around whether or not to fight back against Negan. However, this is not really a moral conflict because there is not really a choice to be made. There is no peace to be had with Negan, the decision to cooperate with the Saviors is the decision to prolong a death sentence at the cost of steadily weakening the group. There is only one move to be made that will advance the story, there is only one move that makes any sense in the context of the show - and that is to kill Negan. There is no moral ambiguity in this choice, no matter what the writers seem to think. Morgan's counter argument is not a viable choice or course of action - merely an obstacle to be overcome. To contrast this conflict, think about Game of Thrones, a show that is compelling due to the moral ambiguity of the choices it's characters are faced with. In Westeros there are very few inherently 'right' or 'wrong' choices. One character's savior, is anothers executioner. What one character sincerely believes to be right, is not necessarily morally so.
But with Negan, there are no shades of gray, he is a BAD GUY. He is a ruthless bully who treats his own people just as brutally as his enemies. Negan has no redeeming qualities, he is not dark timeline Rick, he is a mustache twirling villain. Yes, people COULD die in an offensive against the Saviors, but doing nothing ASSURES death. There is nothing wrong with a character such as Morgan voicing objection, but to force the plot to resolve around this point of objection for an entire season is frustrating and nonsensical for the world the show inhabits.
It’s a symbolism
As entertaining as Jeffrey Dean Morgan has been as Negan, an over-the-top 'Big Bad' has been disastrous for the show's plot, and this season has been overall one of the poorest. The conflicts and drama that hit home on The Walking Dead have always been on a smaller scale. One of the series most memorable episodes is season 4's "The Grove" where Carol is forced to deal with the increasingly unhinged behavior of Lizzie, a little girl who seems to think zombies are her friends (they are not). This is an episode with only four characters, there is no big bad, there is only a set of difficult circumstances our survivors must navigate. It is an emotionally visceral episode that deals with the cost of survival and the value of life on a small scale, but the punch it packs is anything but. No one is forgetting 'look at the flowers' anytime soon. Even typing it was rough.
All in all I can't wait for Negan to go, (and not just because he is a fucking asshole who killed my sweet Glenn), but because his presence has created a void of conflict that is challenging or interesting. Yes I will revel in the eventual massive group raid on the Saviors, but I will also be relieved to have this particular chapter of the show in the rearview.
Hey here's that gif I promised:
Dreams
XO MD
PS If Jerry dies, we riot.
#martha writes#tv recaps#tv reviews#tv gifs#AMC#AMC The Walking Dead#Andrew Lincoln#Michonne#Norman Reedus#Rick Grimes#The Walking Dead#The walking dead gif#alanna masteron#carl grimes#carol#chandler riggs#christian serratos#daryl dixon#jeffrey dean morgan#khary payton#king ezekial#kitten#morgan#negan#rosita#ross marquand#tv recap#tv review#tv spoilers#why tho
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11/13/17 about me
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? al i think? 2. Are you outgoing or shy? i’m somewhat outgoing but certain situations with lots of people that i don’t know make me feel shy and anxious 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my sister and parents for thanksgiving, but also molly and my buffalo girls this week! 4. Are you easy to get along with? sort of... haha 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? maybe if i were with them, they’re a good person so i’d hope so 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? tall white boys with long hair that like angry music and rough sex, but also snuggling and telling me i’m pretty. commitment issues are a bonus. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no, but i wish i could be 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? uh jordan and drew 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my roommate alesha 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “here’s a pic for proof” showing my parents my midterm grades lol 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Daylily-Movements, The Grey-Movements, Crash-You Me at Six, Pull Up n Wreck-Big Sean, and Ric Flair Drip-Offset & Metro boomin
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only sometimes
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? I did a lot of really cool things with my friends, went to NYC with my best friend Kate, went to warped tour on Long Island, hiked with my family, and smoked a lot of weed with Alyssa and Tori <3 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah haha 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? It’s possible 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No omg 19. Do you like bubble baths? Yes 20. Do you like your neighbors? No the bitches that live in the suite next to me are always loud as fuck 21. What are you bad habits? Being LAZY, piling lots of clothes on my desk chair instead of putting them away, not making my bed 22. Where would you like to travel? Amsterdam, Colorado, California, the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park, Lake Tahoe 23. Do you have trust issues? Yes it’s very difficult for me to trust people 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going to BED 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thighs and my stomach 26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone and pee 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? In the summer I wish I could tan easier 28. Who are you most comfortable around? my sister 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? no 30. Do you ever want to get married? someday 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Liam Payne and Zayn Malik LOL 33. Spell your name with your chin. - 34. Do you play sports? What sports? I ski and I used to dance 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes 37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing because i am Awkard 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone that can enjoy really sweet and simple things in life, but also likes to take risks and do things that push their comfort zone. Someone that is full of love and can love me as intensely as i want to love them. Someone with a creative soul and a logical mind lol. 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? I really like Zara and Urban Outfitters 40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m in college and plan to go to graduate school after 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? That i’m either very mad or uncomfortable or in a bad/upset mood 43. Do you smile at strangers? no 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space, the bottom of the ocean sounds fucking terrifying 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my alarm 46. What are you paranoid about? never finding love 47. Have you ever been high? yes LOL 48. Have you ever been drunk? uh yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not that i can think of 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? medium blue 51. Ever wished you were someone else? yes 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i was 20lbs thinner 53. Favourite makeup brand? kat von d b/c her liquid lipsticks 54. Favourite store? urban outfitters 55. Favourite blog? mine 56. Favourite colour? black and purple 57. Favourite food? as of lately i’ve been a slut for a good burrito 58. Last thing you ate? mint chocolate cookies 59. First thing you ate this morning? water and a mint lol 60. Ever won a competition? For what? not that i can recall 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope 62. Been arrested? For what? not yet lol, i hope never 63. Ever been in love? no, but i did briefly feel like i was falling in love with someone 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? we got drunk in his dorm room off of cheap shit beer and were holding hands listening to the front bottoms and watching one of their music videos and we just started kissing. it was really nice. 65. Are you hungry right now? no 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don’t have tumblr “friends” 67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter 69. Are you watching tv right now? no 70. Names of your bestfriends? Ashley, Vicki, Kate, Alyssa, Tori, Alexis, Alesha, Alex 71. Craving something? What? love 72. What colour are your towels? the towel i’m currently using is pink 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 and a pillow pet 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yes 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? over 50 75. Favourite animal? french bulldogs 76. What colour is your underwear? green with limes on it 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? cherry garcia, ben and jerry’s 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? white 80. What colour pants? none 81. Favourite tv show? shameless or greys anatomy 82. Favourite movie? don’t have one 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls 1 OG 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? regina 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory 87. First person you talked to today? someone in my first class 88. Last person you talked to today? alesha 89. Name a person you hate? garrett 90. Name a person you love? ashley 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? ellery 92. In a fight with someone? no 93. How many sweatpants do you have? like 5 pairs 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? prob like 20 or 30 lol 95. Last movie you watched? can’t recall 96. Favourite actress? don’t have one 97. Favourite actor? idk someone hot 98. Do you tan a lot? no 99. Have any pets? no i wish 100. How are you feeling? annoyed 101. Do you type fast? yes 102. Do you regret anything from your past? yes, i do stupid shit 103. Can you spell well? yes i love spelling lol 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yeah fuck 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes! 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? no 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes when i was little 108. What should you be doing? my OB paper 109. Is something irritating you right now? my throat hurts 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yes.. 111. Do you have trust issues? yes you already asked me this 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? honestly can’t remember but i think alexis 113. What was your childhood nickname? loooorrnnn 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes... 115. Do you play the Wii? yes i fuck w mario kart 116. Are you listening to music right now? yes, ghostface killers by 21 savage 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? no i don’t eat chicken but i used to like it 118. Do you like Chinese food? YES 119. Favourite book? the clique series was pretty dope 120. Are you afraid of the dark? yes.... 121. Are you mean? yeah lol 122. Is cheating ever okay? no 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? for a certain period of time 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? kinda 125. Do you believe in true love? yes 126. Are you currently bored? no 127. What makes you happy? feeling loved and being high 128. Would you change your name? probably not 129. What your zodiac sign? cancer 130. Do you like subway? yes it’s delish 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t really have a best guy friend but if i did idk what i would do 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? alesha you already asked this 133. Favourite lyrics right now? “you are the rustling of leaves and you are that honey suckle breeze” -movements 134. Can you count to one million? if i really wanted to i could 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk when i was like 15 i had cut myself (purposely) on my stomach and my mom saw and i tried to play it off by saying i fell in a bush at my friend lisa’s house but in hindsight i know she didn’t buy that lmao 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed always 137. How tall are you? 5′9″ 138. Curly or Straight hair? straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde 140. Summer or Winter? summer 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? either october or december 143. Are you a vegetarian? yes! i have been for 3.5 years 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark chocolate 145. Tea or Coffee? iced coffee or mint tea 146. Was today a good day? it was okay 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? HE NEED SOME MILK -vine 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes, spooky 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? nah im lazy
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I was going now to say just odds, but then some even questions seem fun too. So ALL. If you have time of course. 150 is a lot. But it would be nice to get to know Ellie. 24. London. Rubbish gay human being ... a bit better. 🍻
I love the fact that you put 🍻 love a good pint so you must know a little about me but here you go keen bean 😊 Please if you wanna talk go right ahead!
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Someone who had to attend to the animals of London
2. Are you outgoing or shy? A bit of both but mostly outgoing
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?Not sure really. A few peeps :)
4. Are you easy to get along with? Sometimes I can be a right difficult fucker
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Probably but I haven’t got drunk like that for a very long while so they wouldn’t have to.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Honestly I don’t think I actually know now but as long as you’re kind, funny, not a Tory and drink. We’re good
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I highly doubt it.
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Erm …probably my dad because he called me last night
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends with who but no not really anymore. I love sex.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My Counsellor and her dog she looks after
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Well you gave me an open door”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 1.) Get it together- Drake 2.) Deeper- MNEK 3.) Anyone Else - Pvris 4.) Bedroom Floor- Liam Payne (don’t judge me) 5.) Burning- Sam Smith but also his whole album which is absolutely sublime
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? I love it. But you have to do it properly.
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Not anymore
15. What good thing happened this summer? I had the best birthday ever
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes…
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? There must be
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yeah I see them around and about
19. Do you like bubble baths?I’m actually not allowed them because of my skin but I miss them terribly
20. Do you like your neighbors?They’re very sweet except when my older neighbour catches squirrels or smokes too much it goes into my room
21. What are you bad habits? I tend to ruin things, I bite my nails, bite my lip constantly, swear too much, say stupid shit when I’m drunk
22. Where would you like to travel? Asia, Canada, America, Caribbean, Mexico again.
23. Do you have trust issues?I especially do now after this weekend. I can’t believe it. I think it’s better if I don’t for a while.
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going back to bed.
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach, fingers, hips and teeth.
26. What do you do when you wake up? “Erugh why is it not the weekend!” Then put some music on, feed my cat and get ready for work.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish it was clearer! No either.
28. Who are you most comfortable around? Friends and people who are close to me.
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Nope
30. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe.
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?God no and thank goodness I can’t do that shit anymore.
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Lynn Gunn Alycia Debham Carey Kristen Stewart
33. Spell your name with your chin.Wokie ….OMG chewbacca?!?! Are you kidding me !
34. Do you play sports? What sports?I play rugby and run. I should get back into swimming though
35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Live without TV
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Yepppppp. She will never know because it’s soooo embarrassing.
37. What do you say during awkward silences? “So…how about those dolphins?!” (Watch ‘The birdcage’
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I don’t know anymore really. Just someone who wants me.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Vans, TK Maxx, urban Outfitters
40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol that was years ago but something better than what I’m doing now
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends but most people yes.
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m sad, tired or so angry that I’m scared if I say anything I’ll seriously regret it.
43. Do you smile at strangers? Occasionally yeah
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Even though I would hate going in a rocket, Outer space
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? That I have to go to work…otherwise I wouldn’t.
46. What are you paranoid about? What people really think of me and just always not being in the know sort of thing
47. Have you ever been high? Indeed.
48. Have you ever been drunk? Me? Drunk? Never ;)
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Jesus Christ yeah
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black and grey
51. Ever wished you were someone else? Everyday.
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I would stop overthinking, over analysing and not have such bad anxiety? …so pretty much everything
53. Favourite makeup brand?…I actually couldn’t name you one
54. Favourite store? Pets at Home
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour? Blue, Maroon or Purple
58. Last thing you ate?Chocolate orange biscuit
59. First thing you ate this morning? …chocolate orange biscuit
60. Ever won a competition? For what?I won 2 swimming races, front crawl and back
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?Nope…nearly for stealing a dinner ladies walker talkie and bunking maths
62. Been arrested? For what? Nope but again nearly for underage drinking and jay walking
63. Ever been in love? Yes…So how about those dolphins
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?It was a dare and it was in Greenwich Park and it was terrible hahaha
65. Are you hungry right now? Not really feel a little sick
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I haven’t met enough Tumblr friends to make that judgement I’m afraid
67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook
68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr.
69. Are you watching tv right now? My work colleges are
70. Names of your bestfriends? Pebbles, Bryn, Gabby
71. Craving something? What? Sleep. Cuddles. Sex. Lying in bed all day with cold pillows watching a shit loads of netflix , cup of tea, a roast, long make out session, tattoos. All that jazz.
72. What colour are your towels? Blue
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?…yes. My bear and lion. Don’t judge me.
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Only 3 at mums
75. Favourite animal? Lion 🦁
76. What colour is your underwear?Star Wars Print …geek I know
77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Bubblegum, Caramel chew chew Ben and Jerry’s or baked Alaska
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?My work uniform which I hate
80. What colour pants? …haven’t we discussed this…Star Wars
81. Favourite tv show? That’s too difficult! But I’ll name a few parks and recreation, the walking dead, stranger things, sense 8 and crap like goggle box
82. Favourite movie? Are you serious that’s too hard again I’ll name a few. Moonlight, city of god, little miss sunshine, a load of Disney films, the bird cage and some Tarantino
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Means girls
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean girls cmon
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Damien
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? I like the singing school teacher sting ray quite a bit otherwise the little octopus that says “he touched the butt!”
87. First person you talked to today? I can’t remember someone fromWork probably
88. Last person you talked to today? It’s not over yet but probably just the cat, I’m a lone wolf this week.
89. Name a person you hate? Donald trump.
90. Name a person you love? Does Lynn Gunn count? Or does it have to real people because I have too many
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Someone from work or Donald trump
92. In a fight with someone? Not so much as a fight but we aren’t talking because I’m not ready yet
93. How many sweatpants do you have? Not enough! Only 2
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Like 11?
95. Last movie you watched? The Hunger Games
96. Favourite actress? The girl from 12 Years a slave those nameI have forgotten but she is unreal.
97. Favourite actor? Not sure actually.
98. Do you tan a lot?Easily but not a lot
99. Have any pets?1 my poor old sick cat
100. How are you feeling? Tired, a little sick, a bit blergh and want to get this week over with.
101. Do you type fast? Too fast I make so many mistakes
102. Do you regret anything from your past? We’d be here all fucking day if I went through all of that
103. Can you spell well? Nope I’m terrible
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?So so much
105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yeah but not for a while
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I hope not but they were upset. It’s usually me though so it’s fine
107. Have you ever been on a horse? Indeed but not since I was little
108. What should you be doing? Sleeping or replying to text messages
109. Is something irritating you right now? Work, lack of sleep, some people, lack of other things that I’m craving and life in general but all gravy :3
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? So how about those dolphins?!
111. Do you have trust issues? We been through this haven’t we?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My cousin, she unloaded a hell of stuff on me and it upset me
113. What was your childhood nickname?El
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? My borough in London yes
115. Do you play the Wii? Not really I don’t own one :(
116. Are you listening to music right now?Yes, I’m listening to Pvris
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?I haven’t tried it to be honest.
118. Do you like Chinese food?I love a dirty Chinese
119. Favourite book? To kill a mockingbird or potter
120. Are you afraid of the dark?When walking home yeah
121. Are you mean?Not really but I can be …I straight away regret it though
122. Is cheating ever okay? Depends on if that person has been hurt so badly to do so
123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Never. Carnival killed my other ones but it was worth it
124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No
125. Do you believe in true love? …yeah I suppose
126. Are you currently bored?A bit more entertained now I’m doing this
127. What makes you happy? Some certain people, cosy beds, good food, going out to have drinks, music, walks in parks, concerts, being in a mosh pit, when people call me babe , museums, rugby, spontaneous days, lazy days, board games, Christmas, hand holding, hair playing, animals, sex, wearing a good outfit, photography and cooking for people.
128. Would you change your name? No I quite like Ellie
129. What your zodiac sign? Leo 🦁
130. Do you like subway?It’s alright but prefer a proper good maccies
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Wait …aren’t you gay? I’m gay? We’re gay…no!
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My counsellor …we’ve been through this!!
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
Cause I could touch a hundred thousand soulsBut none of them would ever feel like homeAnd no matter how far and wide I roamYou are the only one that I’ll ever know- PVRIS ‘Anyone Else’
134. Can you count to one million? If I get really bored with my life I’llLet you know
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? First time I got drunk I said I got food poisoning hahahaha
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed
137. How tall are you? 5’7
138. Curly or Straight hair?Don’t care
139. Brunette or Blonde?Don’t care
140. Summer or Winter?Summer
141. Night or Day?Day
142. Favourite month?December
143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope but I am eating wayyyyy less meat than what I use to
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Shit …i love milk but white chocolate is buff
145. Tea or Coffee?Tea
146. Was today a good day?It’s not over yet but I have got rugby later which I’m sort of looking forward to but it’s cold …
147. Mars or Snickers? Mars
148. What’s your favourite quote? “Growing old is compulsory. Growing up is optional”
149. Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t think
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Later, at night, she would say a prayer for the tainted soul of Senor Barcelona, who had a good heart but who’s brains had rotten away due to excessive reading” - The Shadow of the wind
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