#3 years of an effective time loop with the upside being brought back

[bruinhilda]

Fanfic: The Return of the Feline Rebels

Okay, this one might need a little history for those who missed it the first time around.  Last year, @castielslight posted a series of paintings of the Liberator Crew as kittens.  They were adorable, and it was irresistible to a crack fic writer.  For every pair of kittens that were posted, I wrote a segment of a story explaining how the heck the Liberator crew were now kittens.  You can find the segments here:  Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4  And the gallery of all the kitten pictures is here.

Why am I pointing these out now?  Because instead of working on the ‘zine submission that was annoying me that day, I wrote a sequel.  As it’s a sequel, it can’t go in Rebels & Fools.  But I entertained the editor, and now I’m unleashing it all on you!  Click the “keep reading” to see the madness.  (It will go on AO3 soonish, if you prefer that venue.  But it started on Tumblr, so Tumblr gets it first.)

In Tarrant's defense, he wasn't to know.  Even if he had been told, he could have been forgiven for believing it to be a joke.

He was getting information from an old contact, an Amagan trader, and when a pair of troopers walked by, he picked up the little statue and pretended to be a customer.  It looked like a cheap novelty, and was in fact being sold as such; just a crudely carved little cat with a crooked grin and unevenly placed jeweled eyes.

He hadn't meant to actually buy the comical little thing, but Kearn was nothing if not a professional.  Tarrant was parted from his money and sent on his way before he realized he'd been made to buy it for an outrageous price.

He stared at it bemusedly, grinning at himself for being that gullible.  He supposed it would be good for a quick laugh.

“There you are. Any luck?” Dayna came sauntering up, holding a box that probably contained parts for another new gun.

“I'm afraid not. Kearn didn't know anything worthwhile.  I'm afraid he's been too far out of the loop since the war.”

Dayna had spotted the cat, and raised an eyebrow.  “What on earth have you bought this time?”

He grinned and held it up for closer inspection.  The green crystal eyes sparkled.  “Just a little something to annoy Avon with.  I thought I'd leave it on his station, see how he reacts.”

“You do like living dangerously,” Dayna laughed.  She shifted her box and raised her bracelet.  “Cally, we're ready to come up.  That thing is both hideous-”

“-and ridiculous,” she finished, as they appeared in the teleport bay.

“Beg pardon?” Cally asked.

“Tarrant is thinking of taking up practical jokes,” Dayna explained, as she put her box down.

“Really?  But we already have Vila,” Cally quipped.  The two women grinned at each other.

“Well, perhaps he could use some competition,” Tarrant said.  He held the little cat up again, and did his best impression of its crooked snarl.

Instead of laughing, Cally scrambled back, hitting the wall and almost falling out of the seat.  “Get rid of it, quickly Tarrant!”

Dayna's grin turned to concern.  “Cally?”

“Oh come on, it's hardly threatening,” Tarrant protested.  “Or are you afraid of cats?”

“Take it back down, quickly!  I'll operate the teleport, just get it off the ship before it activates!”

“Activates? Cally, it's just a little trinket.”  Tarrant tapped it against the console for emphasis.  “See, it's perfectly...”

“It's glowing!” Dayna yelped.  She dove for the exit, Cally right behind her.

“What?” Tarrant looked down at the statue, and the world turned white.  The little cat thumped to the deck, paws up.

Tarrant picked himself up as the light faded, and shook his head.  That was odd, he thought.  He was a bit dizzy, but otherwise seemed okay.  Though his perceptions were off.  The room looked a lot larger all of a sudden.

A huge, red-brown feline face suddenly loomed in front of him.  Green eyes glared, and long black tufted ears flattened back. “RrrrrreeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” it shrieked.

Tarrant scrambled backwards as fast as he could, tripping all over his...tail and paws?

Oh HELL.  He scrabbled around in a circle, chasing his tail in a moment of sheer disbelief.  His short, curly fur bristled, and his oversized ears flipped back and forth.

Someone swatted him upside the head.  He whirled and snarled.  The siamese in front of him responded with a yowl that rattled the walls.  Bright blue eyes glared even harder than the caracal's had.  Tarrant eased back, and Dayna stalked forward after him, looking incredibly angry.

The caracal yowled at them both, cuffed the Cornish Rex, and leaped onto the console, letting loose an incredibly loud howl.

Feet thumped down the corridor.  Dayna jumped and landed facing the other way.  Tarrant sat upright, pricking his ears forward.

“Cally, what the hell is going on...here...” Vila nearly tripped down the stairs, staring at the three cats.  His eyes locked onto the statue. “Oh no, not again!” he wailed.  He lunged for the intercom. “Avon, we...!”

Another flash blinded them all, and then a large orange tomcat tumbled to the floor.  Vila picked himself up, shook himself, then turned a put-upon look directly at Tarrant.

Tails lashed.  “Yow!” Dayna yelled.  Tarrant wasn't sure if that was for him or just to the universe in general, but he suddenly found it prudent to retreat under the console.

“Mrow yow rowl! Vila added, scratching his neck.

Cally hissed.  And then she thumped to the deck and darted up the corridor towards the crew quarters.

***

Avon turned in his sleep.  On the edge of his consciousness, he thought he heard someone call his name, almost waking him up.  When it wasn't repeated, he drifted back to his dreams.  Odd, disjointed images flashed through his mind.  Cats fighting, a sense of running, being very low to the ground and afraid.  Some slumbering giant looming overhead on an immense bed...

Something large and heavy hit him in the midsection.  Pointed claws drove into delicate portions of his anatomy, pulling him awake instantly.

“Aaugh!”

“ReeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The thing in his lap squealed.

It sounds like someone strangling a computer, Avon thought blearily.  He forced his eyes to focus on the russet bundle.  His brows went up.

“Either I am having a nightmare, or some idiot has brought another Oros statue on board.”

An image of a shining grin topped with curly hair flashed in his mind. “So it wasn't Vila this time.  That's one for the records.”

“Mrew.” Cally kneaded her paws in the blankets, and into Avon again.

“Ouch. Enough.  I'm getting up.”  He shifted, and Cally thumped to the floor, waiting patiently while Avon hurriedly got dressed.  With a sigh, he scooped the caracal up.  Cally leaned into his arms and purred, which disturbed him slightly.  “Where is it?”

Images flashed again.  “The teleport section?”  He took the increase in purring as a yes.  “Then we're going to the flight deck.”

“EEEEE...”

“Stop that.  I can't do anything if I'm reduced to paws and yowling.”

Cally mumbled, then snuggled deeper into his arms.  Avon fought the urge to scratch her behind the ears.  Quickly, he ran for the flight deck, keeping an eye out for stray cats.

***

Tarrant had retreated to the top of the teleport console when Cally left.  He hissed and lashed his tail, warning the other two to keep back.

Vila yawned, flashing some fearsome fangs in that bright orange face.  His own tail twitched lazily, as though he didn't have a care in the world.  Dayna, on the other hand, was slowly stalking back and forth, eyes always fixed on Tarrant.  He hissed at her again for good measure.

Vila yawned again, this time adding an impressive full-body stretch. Tarrant's eyes shifted to him for a second, and Dayna pounced.  She sailed from the couch to the console, hitting Tarrant dead on and knocking him off.  He twisted and managed to land on his feet, and then Vila landed on his back, all signs of torpor gone.  Tarrant shrieked and struck out with his claws.  Vila let him go and leaped away, colliding with Dayna on her leap down to join the fray.

Tarrant raced out of the teleport section, running for his life with the other two cats in hot pursuit.  All three were screaming bloody murder as they raced for the flight deck.

Behind them, the statue pulsed and glowed...

***

+...As the energy readings are identical, and the effects similar, the process should be reversible as before.  I would deduce that it will only take a repeating of the action that triggered the event, most likely by the same individual.+  Orac buzzed and ticked.  +This really is most fascinating.+

“I'm pleased you think so,” grumbled Avon.  “Perhaps you can figure out how to communicate the proper instructions to a feline.”  He rubbed the bridge of his nose.  A migraine was already settling in from this.  He stopped and jerked his hand back for the third time as it automatically reached out to stroke the purring cat curled up next to him.  “What are the chances that this will simply reverse itself on its own?”

+I do not have sufficient data to draw a conclusion.  However, if you would allow me to observe this phenomenon for an extended period of time...+

“No.”

+Very well,+ Orac huffed.  +Then I would suggest you try to explain it before the effect triggers your own transformation.+

“I am going nowhere near that thing.”  He nudged the caracal.  “Cally, wake up.  I need you to...”

Cally snapped awake, and started snarling.  Avon moved back, but she was staring at the entrance.  Loud shrieks announced the arrival of the rest of the crew, as they tumbled down the steps in a ball of fur and fury.

Avon reacted instinctively, grabbing up his drink and throwing it at the howling tornado of fur.  The cats broke apart instantly, glaring at Avon.  Vila shook out his damp fur with a “ffft!”

“If you will behave yourselves for a minute, I may have the solution...”

There was a hum at the edge of his hearing.  Four sets of feline ears flicked up.  There was another flash of white.

And a large black cat scrabbled upright on the couch.  Yellow eyes glared balefully at everyone and everything.

So much for staying out of range. Avon mrrrewed in exasperation, then leaped down to the deck.  With injured dignity, he strode out of the flight deck, cuffing Tarrant along the way.  The Cornish rex hissed and followed, as he'd hoped.

The statue was still glowing when they reached the teleport section.  The green crystal eyes glittered menacingly.  Avon headbutted Tarrant, who looked at him blankely.

Avon snarled, and pawed at the statue, glaring at Tarrant.  Tarrant sat down next to it, and yawned.

Avon smacked the statue into the wall.  Nothing.  Growling, he stalked over and smacked it back over to Tarrant, who just looked at it, then him.

Avon stalked up to Tarrant, leaned into his face, and yelled, “Mow!”

Tarrant put back his ears and hissed.  His tail flicked back and forth. After a moment's observation, Avon pounced on it, and bit as hard as he could.

“YOW!” Tarrant screeched, and attacked, paws flailing wildly.  One paw smacked the statue, which hit the base of the console.

There was a tremendous flash of white.

And Avon's punch landed smack in Tarrant's eye, knocking the other man flat on his back.  Avon looked down at his hand for a moment, then looked at Tarrant.

“That is absolutely the last time I buy anything off Kearn.”  Tarrant sat up, holding his face. “Do I get in a punch of my own, to keep things even?”

“I wouldn't recommend it.”

***

“So Orac thinks that the teleport actually charges the material in the statue, priming it to go off with the right amount of kinetic force.”

“That's why nothing happened on the planet,” Dayna said.  “I wondered why it didn't go off until we teleported back.”

“So Kearn didn't know,” Tarrant said.  “I guess I won't kill him the next time I see him after all.”

“Why the hell would anyone make weapons that turns you into a cat?” Vila asked.  “I thought the one was a fluke, but if there's two of them...”

“As the Oros culture is long-dead, we can only guess,” Cally sighed.  

“It may not have been designed to do anything,” Avon said.  “Oros was a primitive planet when its people were wiped out.  The material is native to the planet, and they hardly had teleport capabilities. It's likely that they were just trinkets, and their makers had no idea at all what they could do under the right conditions.”

“I hope you're right.  I'd hate to think there were superweapons like that ready to dig up,” Tarrant said, leaning back and pressing the cold pack against his black eye.

“It's kind of funny that you weren't anywhere near it when you turned into a cat.”  Vila took a swig of his drink and grinned.

“Obviously, its range was greater than Orac calculated.”

“Or maybe it's because it happened to you before,” Cally suggested.

“There's a thought,” Vila said.  “Do you suppose Blake and Jenna suddenly found themselves scratching fleas and chasing mice, wherever they've gotten to?”

“Don't be ridiculous, Vila.  It couldn't have done anything of the sort.”

***

Many, many light years away, Blake shook his head.  He'd had narrow escapes before, but this?  He'd never thought the cat transformation would happen to him again, but he had to admit, the timing couldn't have been better.  He wondered what those Federation guards were going to say to their commanders?

***

None of the ship's crew dared to ask Jenna what had happened.  She made it clear she would kill them if they ever mentioned it to anyone else. Her second nursed the deep scratches on the hand that hadn't been able to resist petting the fluffy angora cat in the captain's chair.

***

Servalan had two of the guards killed.  It wouldn't do to have them talk.  The third was relieved and thrilled that his President had such trust in his discretion.  She refrained from telling him that she couldn't bear to kill a man who could rub her ears in just that way.  She definitely had plans for that young man...

***

Somewhere on a dead world, a one-eyed man stumbled through the ruins of a destroyed complex, utterly baffled by where he was, and what had happened.

***

In Disposal Complex 9, the workers were surprised by the huge gray fluffball that had scrabbled out of the cremation dump and streaked by them.  It was widely discussed for an hour before everyone forgot all about it in the press of their duties.  Someone dumped an animal down the chute as a cruel joke, was the consensus.

Gan hurried through the streets outside.  It would take him a long time to sort out everything that had happened to him...

***

Five years later, two men in a creaky old shuttle landed next to a destroyed base on a long-forgotten planet.  They spent some time digging and shifting debris.  The wildlife, fortunately, had been largely reduced by the nearby volcano.

After some hours, they sat down.  The large one set a bundle of clothes down on the cleanest spot he could find.  The smaller one pulled out a box, and pressed some buttons.  There was the hum of power discharge.  After ten minutes, he removed a small, crude dog statue from it, and tapped it on the ground.

It glowed, and a flash of white created a Mastiff and a Beagle puppy. The Mastiff barked once, and sat patiently.  The Beagle scratched itself vigorously.

There were small yips.  The pups leaped to their feat, tails wagging excitedly.  A small wolf cub crawled out of the tumbled ruins, and shook itself.

The beagle started yapping and dancing around the cub, licking its face and wagging his tail so hard it created a breeze.  The mastiff danced and barked in place, and then nudged the little statue.

The beagle yelped and raced around the statue for a minute.  Then a paw reached out and smacked it into a jumble of rocks.

There was a flash of white...