#2. this is precisely why everyone who came after Dick has a complex about him

[jinniesmeow]

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t. 

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works. 

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at. 

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit. 

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean. 

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes. 

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though. 

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/ 

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag. 

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah. 

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass. 

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come. 

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am. 

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here. 

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want. 

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try. 

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible. 

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us. 

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me. 

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you. 

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you. 

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person. 

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual. 

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you. 

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you. 

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you. 

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity. 

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me. 

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!! 

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots. 

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays. 

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever. 

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you. 

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass. 

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention. 

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia. 

[mwolf0epsilon]

DBH - A Russian Alien in Detroit

This one is a little more rushed, but I wanted to introduce Artyum and Val before I proceeded to mess around with any more of my androids.

The DBH fandom needs just as many interesting and fun human ocs as it has awesome android ocs!

---

    In all of his 2 years of experience living in America, Artyum found that everything was kind of the same as his home city in Russia.

It stank of pollution and the people sucked ass, although very often he found that being so rude didn't do him any favours.

Or maybe just being a foreigner already screwed him up big time. He couldn't decide which one was it just yet...

    On arrival he'd been fresh out of uni, with his engineering degree still holding that pleasant new smell, and his hair being cut short and beard trimmed to perfection.

His grandmother had always told him first impressions mattered when going to a job interview, and applying for an apprenticeship at Cyberlife in America meant that he had to be careful with how he spoke, dressed and worked.

Perfect and efficient were what she'd told him to go for. Never less.

His father in turn, had told him to be better than that, so as to show the Americans how Russians got shit done. Honestly, he'd tried.

But when you're Russian and your country is having a dick measuring contest with the one you're supposed to live in for work reasons, you can kiss the simplicity of a nice life goodbye.

His superiors had hated him for being a “Commie” spy, and they'd all treated him like a trash fire for looking older than he really was.

Genetics were a bitch, and the male side of the family all reached 6’ in their early 20s.

He was 21 and built like a bear.

The chief engineer who was a pretentious jackass with the self-confidence of a worm, really didn't like that in particular.

Apparently being outsized, outweighed and outsmarted by a 21 year old graduate, was a personal blow to his fragile ego.

Really there was nothing, short the food and work, that got a tiny bit of pleasure out of his stay in the country.

And then working in the engineering department, testing the newly built androids, became less fun and more nerve-wracking.

    Everyone in his department knew about the “Defects”. The androids that just didn't come out working as they should.

His supervisor told him that he should flag any of the 'droids that just bugged out and acted up weirdly, but honestly?

Something just never felt right about it when he did it. A sort of gut feeling that had nothing to do with the sugar glazed donuts and redbull he'd had for lunch.

And then, being the curious idiot that he was, Artyum Kutznekov just started really paying attention to his tasks, rather than punching in his card and disassociating for the day until his shift ended.

The false bliss he'd felt over working his “dream job” had come crushing down when it really clicked what he was doing.

The “Defects” weren't so much as glitching androids as they were aware.

And not just a simulation gone wrong. They were scared, and it was REAL.

    Artyum wasn't that clean shaven nerdy boy anymore. He wasn't sucking up to Cyberlife and it's corporate vampires. He'd quit, sent a letter home, got a lecture back and then said fuck it to everything.

He became an official citizen of the United States and moved into some shitty hellhole of an apartment, right above some Brazilian couple that fought every night and then fucked their brains out at 4 am. The above tenant was nice, an old Scottish grandmother who'd greeted him with a beer and a few words.

 “Welcome to the most culturally diverse part of Detroit. We get all the immigrants here.”

 “Is that good or bad?��� He'd asked.

 “Russian. Tsk tsk… Lose the thick accent and ya might not get shot in an alleyway.”

 “Would be much better than to live in America anyway...”

 “That's the spirit lad. You'll fit right in.”

She hadn't been kidding.

There were a lot of people with different ethnic backgrounds in the apartment and they weren't all that bad.

One of them, Val, was a young 19 year old latina who lived in the basement floor.

No parents, no other relatives, just her and her android dog, Regi.

She was as smart and cunning as a fox and had the tongue of a sailor. Nana Agnes scolded him for giving the kid vodka sometimes.

It kind of paid off that he'd befriended her in the end, after Sergei came into his turbulent life.

 “So, couple of custom parts and something to help save his skin?” The girl grimaced “Sugar, you're really killing my buzz here. That android is fuuuucked.”

 “Tell me something new...I know it is a difficult task, but I am being at...At wits end. Repairing is easy, yes? But customizing to fit older model is your bread and...and.” he paused, clicking his tongue for a second of annoyance as he tried to recall the proper term.

 “Butter. My bread and butter, which requires pay.” Val rolled her eyes. “I swear, you're a heck of a fuckin’ dictionary Artie, but how can ya remember the precise name of biocomponents and shit, if you can't remember how to say butter or even spork?”

 “I studied! Manuals have all information on complex parts, but they do not come with information on what one is to put in toast!” He pouted. “Also combining spoon and fork is most stupid thing I have ever been told! There are different utensils for reason!”

 “Oh my god Art you're killing me.” Val smirked “And fiiine. I'll get you those parts, but ooonly if you let me tweak the voice box for Sergei.”

 “You are enabler though! You will give him annoying voice that will get on my nerves!” he'd complained.

 “Hey! Sergei's all about dat sweet sweet gay culture. If he wants a super funny and cute nasally voice, let my boi have one! Bitches gotta go all out my dude!”

 “I swear I do not know why we are friends.”

 “Cuzz I'm such a charmer, and you're bored of hearing Marcello's and Joana's soap opera dramas every morning.”

 “Becoming listener of their activities was not a choice.” He reminded her.

 “And the term you're looking for there, is vouyer~”

 “I am not a vouyer!!!”

 “No, but you're a big hairy dude that lives with a gay robot that's missing several limbs and a lot of screws.”

 “You make it sound very questionable.”

 “I build custom vaginas and dicks for androids that can't consent, while knowing that there are living ones fighting for their rights in this shit show of a city. Life's fucked. Let me have fun at the expense of my Russian bear neighbour and his twinky android roommate.”

 “I will drink to that.” he replied as he took both their glasses for a refill.

 “Yeah could sure do with another drink. To our shitty weird as fuck life.”

 “Amen.”

 “Like God would condone any of this, lol.”

    America wasn't all that great, neither was Russia really, and honestly Artyum had chosen a poor time to move into Detroit, but hey...

If he hadn't died in some alleyway because of hate crimes, then he was surely not gonna die because of what was up with the city and it's "Deviancy problems".

If he did, at least then he'd die knowing he wouldn't have to get shot at the grocery store for having a thicker accent than people were comfortable with.

Until then he was content with repairing Sergei. The PL600 sure could use a helping hand after he'd been put through, whatever the fuck his twisted owner had done to him before Artyum found him in pieces.

[dionis499blog-blog]

Fortnite v-buck generator: eleven Factor You're Forgetting to carry out

Gamers, youthful types in any case, don’t feel to note such matters. They’re just after assault rifles (ideally the Famous SCAR), pump shotguns, bolt-action sniper rifles (the scope is often a boon), chug jugs, slurp juices, bandages, medkits, and defend potions. They see, and covet, skins that look cool but have no bearing on sport Enjoy; for twenty bucks, you are able to don the Leviathan or the Raven. Or they fixate on dance moves, the so-called victory emotes you may have your avatar accomplish, in the warmth of struggle or after a get rid of. The Floss, the Contemporary, the Squat Kick, the Wiggle—these have spilled out into the globe. It's possible you'll see men and women about you, or Specialist athletes on Tv set, breaking into Odd dances. The just one often known as Go ahead and take L is significant nowadays within the Bundesliga and at Minute Maid Park.

V BUCKS NO SURVEY

Plenty of completed players glance down their noses at Fortnite, the best way, perhaps, that some jazz and blues diehards, in 1964, dismissed the Beatles. The dances, the alliterative location-names, the dearth of real postapocalyptic menace: these can point out a lack of seriousness that to some would seem spell-breaking. A classmate of Gizzard Lizard’s, ZenoMachine, a gamer for longer than appears to be plausible (he commenced taking part in Team Fortress two in kindergarten and now develops his individual games), is the eighth grade’s resident Fortnite Scrooge. “To start with, I’m not a admirer with the polygons,” ZenoMachine advised me. We were on the park bench, following university—a scarce hit of daylight. “It's a hi-res texture but small-res polygons.” Gizzard Lizard had warned me that I wouldn’t fully grasp ZenoMachine, but I gathered that he was critiquing the sport’s aesthetics. He favored a realer glance. He objected to sure inconsistencies. The pickaxe, as an example, which gamers use to demolish partitions and properties, results in Just about no damage to other players being a weapon. “How can that be?” he said. “I see why a great deal of men and women like Fortnite. It targets gamers who aren’t skilled. Nonetheless it violates the regulations of consistency.” He claimed that The 1st time he performed he received—by hiding out until everyone else experienced practically been killed off. This is known as camping, which is frowned upon by normal players. “If a thing so simple as player preference affects one other players’ expertise, you’ve obtained a layout flaw,” ZenoMachine explained.

ZenoMachine develops his very own video games using a System called the Unreal Motor. Fortnite, mainly because it takes place, is built over the Unreal Engine, much too. The game will be the development of a corporation identified as Epic Game titles, based mostly outdoors Raleigh, North Carolina. In 1998, Epic launched a first-man or woman shooter referred to as Unreal, which relished only moderate achievement but which, Virtually accidentally, had an enduring affect around the evolution of video video games. Epic applied Unreal’s fundamental architecture, and a few of its elements, to help make what came to generally be generally known as the Unreal Engine, a simple platform that supports all way of video games, be they shooters, brawlers, platformers, or sandbox R.P.G.s. It’s generally a collection of applications that builders can use to layout and build video games along with other simulations. Rather than ranging from scratch in, say, C++, the favored graphic-coding language, impartial builders along with other organizations use the Unreal Motor to generate their own online games. (The licensing with the motor, subsequently, offers Epic the income move to commit time and sources to the event of hit games like Fortnite.) On a yearly basis, Epic utilizes present online games, a number of them all but overlooked, to soup up the Unreal Motor, making sure that it can tackle an at any time additional complex variety of requires. Fortnite was the very first Unreal Motor four release. Amongst other matters, Epic had to adapt the engine that can help its servers accommodate the huge volume of information that has to be processed instantaneously when 100 players are competing in only one Struggle Royale spherical. The concern of which steps have an effect on Many others, and from what length, on this extensive storm-sieged island—the outdated if-then difficulty—is way more complicated than it would appear.

“Imagine Fortnite as a visible form of media,” Jamin Warren, the editor from the lifestyle-and-gaming journal Eliminate Screen, instructed me. Whatever Fortnite’s attract like a video game to play, it is also evidently probably the most beguiling 1 to look at. As online video-game spectatorship fills arenas, and siphons a technology far from precise sports activities, Fortnite is becoming essentially the most viewed game on YouTube—by March, there had been Pretty much a few billion sights from the countless sessions that players had uploaded—and the best match on Twitch, the streaming platform. Looking at isn’t just for spazzes any longer. “It’s established a kind of global arcade,” Warren stated. “In place of a couple of Children seeking around the shoulder of the recent-shot more mature brother or regardless of what, down on the mall, you have got many people observing, and the person actively playing the game is a millionaire.”

The medium’s breakout star is called Ninja. He is a previous professional Halo player named Tyler Blevins, who may have mentioned that he will make in excess of half one million bucks per month by streaming his Fortnite sessions, and his totally free-associative commentary, on Twitch (that is owned by Amazon). His YouTube channel has over 10 million subscribers. Very last month, he hosted a Fortnite Event in Las Vegas, within an e-sports activities arena, and Practically 7 hundred thousand individuals tuned in to his Twitch stream. I’ve listened to lots of teens seek advice from him as The us’s largest entertainer—which is not as hyperbolic mainly because it Appears. In April, Ninja rated larger than any athlete on the earth in “social interactions,” a evaluate of social-media likes, responses, shares, and views. Cristiano Ronaldo was No. 2. In March, Ninja consented to some Fortnite session with Drake.

Blevins, that's twenty-6, comes from outside the house Detroit and life in the vicinity of Chicago (he won’t say exactly where) along with his spouse, who handles his enterprise affairs. He streams ten to fourteen hours each day, normally from about 9 A.M. to 3 P.M. after which from 6 P.M. right until Anytime. All informed, he logs about three hundred hours a month. What a single sees is his video game display screen, along with his avatar in what ever skin he has decided on, and, within an inset, a perpetual shot of Blevins himself. A ninja headband girds a Bieber-ish shock of hair that he dyes distinct shades: emerald inexperienced, platinum, yellow. He’s a lean, boyish guy who appears to make an work to keep up some semblance of the smile continually. His spiel is goofy, caffeinated, and reasonably cocky. He does impressions. In March, he was mumbling some rap lyrics as he performed, and by some means the phrase “indica” arrived out as the N-word. Amid the backlash, he apologized, type of, and, when it came time for me to speak to him very last week, his supervisor’s just one affliction was which i not request him about it, as he’d currently mentioned what there was to mention, which was, partially, “I guarantee that there was no mal intent (I wasn’t even seeking to say the term—I fumbled lyrics and obtained tongue-tied from the worst probable way).” A scrupulous journalist might have referred to as off the job interview, however the teenagers I’d been speaking to in regards to the video game were being so amazed that I would speak with Ninja that I caved. At the final minute, nevertheless, Ninja bailed, proclaiming health issues. Melt away! (“I’m really sure that was BS,” a kind of teens texted me. “I believe he was streaming these days.”) At any level, Ninja’s sensitivity is a sign that players like him are coming into the mainstream. They have got to look at the things they say.

Onscreen, the millionaire maintains the environs on the gamer boy. The camera normally takes within an acoustic-tile ceiling, wall-to-wall carpeting, bare drywall, and a fourposter mattress. There’s a framed Detroit Lions poster propped versus a wall, alongside a mini-fridge stocked with Red Bull. Ninja can be a lifelong gamer, but he helps make some extent to remind his fans, lest they get the fall-anything bug, that he did very well in class, performed soccer and various sporting activities, concluded college while Keeping down a career at Noodles & Organization, and perhaps appeared, together with his family, on “Family members Feud.” The game skill is legit. He wins a little something like 50 percent multiplayer game you can play with friends of your hundreds of video games he plays each individual 7 days, from all comers. He’s a crack shot and it has a nose for that substantial floor. As usually as not, it seems he’s hardly paying attention. He’s examining followers’ messages out loud, similar to a chat-radio host, or jabbering with Yet another Fortnite star, for instance Dr. Lupo or KingRichard, if they’ve teamed up for any game or two: “The recoil on this factor is Silly”; “You said you experienced a full shield, ass”; “So hold my dick”; “That male was trying to consume a chug jug. What a noob.” All accompanied by occasional bursts of gunfire. “To any one observing the stream, I hope you men are enjoying the written content, man.”

Gizzard Lizard’s shoot-out in Tomato Town befell on the last evening of April, which was the last evening of Season three. Anticipation was functioning higher. On the list of ingenious innovations of Fortnite is always to introduce seasons of about two months, as on the cable-tv collection, also to integrate new plot and activity factors. (Past week, inside of a crossover masterstroke, Thanos, the indestructible villain of the new Avengers movie, dropped in on the game—that's, gamers could adopt a Thanos pores and skin—and so, for some time, the Fortnite set gleefully schooled many Thanoses in a means that the Avengers couldn't.) On April thirtieth, a comet that were hovering around the island was alleged to strike right after midnight. For days, meteors were showering the sport. Teasers—the most recent being “brace for impact”—experienced influenced a raft of speculation and conspiracy theories. At first, people today expected the comet to hit the crowded city setting referred to as Tilted Towers, but some clues led others to forecast, properly, that the comet would wipe out Dusty Depot, which was thereafter to be called Dusty Divot.

It absolutely was hard to do research on an evening such as this; Gizzard Lizard returned to the sport. He played on a PC he’d designed at school. It didn’t have a graphics card. He’d hardly ever been a huge gamer—his mothers and fathers were fairly stringent about screens and experienced never ever consented to an Xbox or perhaps a Wii—though he’d played Minecraft for a while. This level of obsession was one thing new. He noticed on his find-your-close friends bar that lots of schoolmates were being participating in, so he FaceTimed just one who goes by ism64. They teamed up and hit Fortunate Landing. Gizzard Lizard wore an earbud underneath a set of earphones, to ensure he could speak with ism64 whilst listening to the seem of approaching enemies. From the distance, it appeared that he was speaking to himself: “Enable’s just Create. Be careful, you’re gonna be trapped less than my ramp. I’m hitting this John Wick. Oh my God, he just pumped me. Come revive me. Create all-around me and come revive me. Wait around, can I have that chug jug? Thanks.”

I’d been struck, looking at Gizzard Lizard’s online games for a couple of days, by how the spirit of collaboration, amid the urgency of mission and danger, appeared to bring out one thing approaching gentleness. He and his buddies did favors for each other, watched one another’s backs, available encouragement. This was something that I hadn’t witnessed A great deal of, say, down with the rink. One particular could argue which the old arcade, Using the ever-existing risk of bullying and harassment and also the obstacle of saying dibs, exposed A child to the planet—it’s character-setting up!—but there was a little something to be explained for this kind of refuge, regardless of whether it did entail assault rifles and grenades.

After which you can the John Wick was on him. “Oh God! Oh God!” Foiled yet again.

A John Wick was an achieved player who experienced earned a skin that bears a resemblance for the character performed by Keanu Reeves inside the “John Wick” motion pictures. (Officially, the skin is called the Reaper, presumably to prevent licensing costs, but players get in touch with it John Wick.) It absolutely was available to anyone who had attained all hundred tiers of the sport in Season three—a mix of accomplishment and knowledge which would have necessary taking part in for involving seventy-five and 100 and fifty several hours.

As the last several hours of Time 3 expired, gamers scrambled to succeed in Tier a hundred, and get their John Wick skins. Gizzard Lizard was nowhere near. He’d started off the year as being a noob. Appear the subsequent early morning, Day Among Time 4, he experienced a intend to put inside the hrs to receive to Tier 100. It could take severe commitment. For The very first time, he acquired a thousand Fortnite V-bucks, for $9.ninety nine, with which to purchase skins. He went Along with the Carbide, a sleek one which brought to thoughts a wetsuit. This was The very first time he—or, more to the point, his mother and father—had at any time put in anything but quarters over a sport.