#2) no external speakers so you can't jam with friends without plugging it into something

[arctic-hands]

There is a reason I chose a not-exactly-generic-but-not-exactly-notable-in-the-public-conscience MP3 player like the SanDisk Clip Jam instead of like a second-hand iPod of any generation. The Clip Jam doesn't hook up to wifi, you plug it into your computer and transfer audio files manually from your computer folder to the player folder. Apple especially is getting to the point where they totally-aren't-yes-they-are bricking their older tech either by stopping their support of it with no alternatives or (allegedly, if I'm remembering a news story from like three years ago correctly) just final updates to slow down at least iPhones to entice consumers into buying newer models.

And on the digital book/audiobook front I still remember Amazon wiping, of all novels, Nineteen Eighty-Four that users paid money for from kindle devices and apps without said users' consents. It's not unreasonable to fear that any of these big media corporations can, on their own whims or arbitrary decisions, just remove something you paid real money for because the device is connected to wifi. The Clip Jam has no such connection. It can't stream anything, everything has to be manually downloaded to it, so record companies can't randomly remove entire albums and bands from your library. The closest thing to streaming is just the FM radio function.

(Also? The Clip Jam, being a SanDisk machine, has a microSD slot so if you use up your 8 gigs of...thingy. the part that mp3 files take up... you can just insert a card and use that to store and play your songs/audio on as well.)

I'm not said the CJ is permanent because God knows modern technology is fragile as fuck and doomed to fail sooner rather than later (compare an Adobe-created painting with pantone colors to cave art or stone engravings from Ancient times). The battery will eventually crap out, the hardware will degrade, the microSD card will age, the casing and buttons might break, and the USB cord needed to transfer files will eventually fall into disuse and newer computers won't be made with the compatible ports. But like. I own the files on it and that's pretty damn rare in today's age so...

(And no fucking ads and algorithms!)

I'm not saying that all new media is evil, I'm just saying that technology peaked with the MP3 players before they made them connect to wifi or bluetooth