#2 generations of bridgertons 1 braincell

[thekatebridgerton]

Bridgerton siblings and their spouses ranked by intelligence. From the one who doesn’t have a single brain cell to the one with the most.

Well in one degree or another they're all dumbasses but on a scale of who has the braincell for the longest here we go.

1) Hyacinth: by far the smartest Bridgerton. I may not like her as a character in it's in his kiss. But her use of the one braincel is impeccable

2) Eloise: only ranks above Francesca because it took her less than a week to figure out she was inlove with Phillip. Compared to Francesca's track record. Eloise is a solid 8/10 smart

3) Francesca: smart enough to avoid scandal in London and keep her reputation spotless. She ranks under Hyacinth and Eloise because she took too long to figure out her feelings for Michael.

4) Daphne: she should rank higher, because the fake dating scheme was genius, but tricking a Simon into having a baby was a supremely stupid move.

5) Anthony: he's self aware enough to know he's an idiot at least and works to compensate this by marrying Kate . So compared to his brothers, Anthony is definitely the sharpest tool in the shed

6) Gregory: well intentioned fool, sharp enough to pick up social cues and underlying context in conversations. But an idiot when it comes to Hermione and Lucy actually make that women in general

7) Colin: rarely uses the braincell, he's happy being the foolish charming Bridgerton brother. Who didn't know his own feelings for 8 years. But he gets a point for being successful at figuring out his love interest secret identity and being the first to do so

8) Benedict : does not use the collective braincell at all. Biggest blind idiot of the family period. But we love him. (Still I'm pretty sure Sophie does all the logical thinking in his marriage )

As for the ranking of their spouses. Who are after all pretty smart to compensate we have of course

1) Sophie: honestly considering her circumstances. She wins as the smartest person in the room. If she hadn't met Benedict she'd still have found a way to escape Araminta and live a pretty neat life eventually

2) Penelope: why do I feel like I'm going in reverse order from the list above?. Penelope only ranks under Sophie because half of her problems could have been solved if she'd told her secret to Lady Danbury and let her pretend to be LW. Even the Cressida plot. In everything else she's pretty darn smart

3) Gareth: all things considered, Gareth is good plotting and if you notice unless Hyacinth interferes. He's pretty successful in his plans

4) Lucy: common sense thy name is Lucy. She's smarter than Kate was at that age. She's very Logical and her advice is always spot on. It's not her fault that people don't listen to her wisdom

5) Kate: only seems like a smart person. But in reality she's just as dumb as Anthony. People just don't notice because she's always hanging out with someone who looks less smart than her. Like her husband and her brother in laws

6) Simon: very smart fake dating idea terrible execution. He gets a point for all the maneuvering he did during the season and for having a moderately working common sense

7) Phillip: smart academically but only academically, he can manage an estate and make it profitable. Help cure children fever and probably has the best medical knowledge in the family. But in everything else he's a hot mess. Socially and emotionally Philip isn't smart he's just very very lucky that nobody has taken advantage of him yet. That's the headcanon

8) Michael: acts and looks smart but is actually a well meaning idiot. sorry Michael. But we don't shame him because at least he's better than Benedict in the one braincel department. I mean really he's not that stupid. He's just stupid in comparison to all his fellow in-laws Well meaning as he is. Also he ranks 8th because he's the only in law who ever hightailed out of the entire continent to escape his feelings. (Idiot.) Not the country, the continent!

And this has been the tea 🍵