#13 year old me thought of 'queue and yellow' as a play on the song blue and yellow and even if i end up hating these guys i will never give

[thedissociatives]

been going off the used for a few months now but that doesn't mean i'll ever change my queue tag

[halo-of-honey]

Concrete Jungle

Daveed Diggs x Original Fem. Character

Synopsis: Emerson O'Connor has always dreamed of playing in a Broadway pit orchestra. After fleeing Boston to move back home to New York, she is approached by Lin and her whole world changes. But moving to a new city to get away from her past may not be as simple as she originally hoped.

[[ Read on AO3! ]]

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20

Chapter Two: Living Arrangements

That Sunday morning, I put on a nice outfit -- a navy blue floral dress, mustard yellow cardigan, and knee high brown riding boots -- and made my way to the train station early. I used my commuter pass to catch the express train to Grand Central Station. While I sat on the train, I watched out the window with a new perspective. I was 26 years old and finally... finally fulfilling my dreams. I thought after I moved back to New York from Boston because everything there fell apart that I was stepping backwards. But it seemed it was quite the opposite.

I loved taking the train. It was one of my favorite things. Especially into New York, since I hadn’t ever gotten to do it that often when I was a teenager. All my friends would go down to the city in groups to see concerts or just be tourists. But my mom never let me go. So when I did, it was a treat. I was fascinated by Harlem. All the street art and basketball courts. It was a completely different world that had only ever been a few hours away. Then the train would plunge into darkness. As my eyes adjusted, I could make out the subway tunnels as we trundled by.

I followed the crowd of people exiting the train about two hours from curtain. I breathed in the stale stench of the underground and train exhaust. I loved it. It meant I was back. It meant I was here. Where I belonged. I made my way up to the street and decided what I wanted to do. Lin asked me to come by the theater an hour before curtain, which meant with travel time I had about thirty minutes to do whatever I wanted. I decided to catch an Uber to the Nintendo store and kill time playing some games on their massive TV.

When it was time to walk over to the theater, I was feeling really good. I tried to ignore the slight sense of creeping anxiety as I pushed my way across Times Square. I never liked big crowds, but I knew I’d have to get used to it eventually. When I got to the Richard Rogers, there was already a long line of people waiting outside. All eyes were on me as I went up to the entrance doors and knocked to get the attention of a young woman standing a little ways inside. She came over to the door and cracked it open a little.

“Hi, I’m Emerson O’Connor. I’m here to see Lin.” I said as quietly as I could. The girls at the front of the queue were focused intently on me and I didn’t want to make it seem like if they just went up and knocked they could get in.

“Oh! Yes, yes. Come in quickly.” the girl said, pulling me inside.

She shut the door firmly behind us and then headed over to the ticket counter, “Hey, Candice, can you page Lin? That girl is here to see him.”

I waited in the lobby for a little while before Lin burst through a side door in jeans and a grey hoodie, “Em! My bestie! You made it!” he said cheerily, coming over to hug me.

“Yeah, of course.” I said.

“Come! Come! Everyone is so excited to meet you!”

“Everyone?” I asked nervously.

“Oh yeah! Come mami !”

I followed him back through the side door into a long hallway. At the end it turned a corner and I could suddenly hear voices and singing. I trailed behind him and he turned suddenly into the first room. I was immediately greeted by a room full of voices. It was a mix of words and it took me a moment to get them all sorted out. When I did, I realized I was standing in front of the majority of the cast and crew.

“Em! Meet Alex!” Lin said, tugging gently on my arm to steer me towards a tall man with curly hair and dark neatly trimmed beard.

“Emerson! Yes! It’s so great to finally meet you!” Alex said, holding out a hand for me to shake.

I took it and shook firmly, “Yes, you too.”

“I was watching some of your YouTube videos. You’re ability with the cello is very impressive. Were you also playing some other instruments on those tracks? Or were they synthesized?” he asked.

“Yes, actually...” I started. “I started on violin when I was little. I also play bass, a little ukulele, and piano. Though I can’t say I’m very good.”

“Awesome! Very cool. Well, I am so excited to get you started. I can give you a copy of the score a little later, so you can get to work.”

“Great, yeah. I’d really like to get a headstart.”

“Of course! I’ll get it to you before you head back home tonight.”

“Okay, so now everyone!” Lin said, satisfied I had met Alex. “Everyone! Meet Emerson! Our new cellist!” he announced.

I turned my focus back to the rest of the room where all eyes were on me, “Hello, everyone!”

‘Everyone’ waved and then a few people scattered. Clearly Lin had made as many people as he could come to greet me whether they had other things to do or not. A few people came over to introduce themselves including some of the ensemble members and the pit bassist. Lin insisted I meet some of the main cast members and dragged me over to where they were all convened on the couch together. I stood there feeling slightly flustered as Lin gave me all their names at once.

“You have such a pretty name, where does it come from?” an Asian woman named Pippa asked me, her smile glittering and beautiful.

“Oh, well my parents both really loved Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. But it also derives from Emer, who was the wife of this wicked cool Celtic warrior.”

“Wow! That’s so cool!” she said.

The lights in the room flashed and I checked my watch, 45 minutes to curtain. The room started emptying, people excusing themselves to head to their dressing rooms to get ready for the show. Lin decided this would be a good time for me to see the pit before he had to leave me himself. So he pointed me in the right direction, told me to come find him in his dressing room after the show, before I cautiously made my way back down the hall and through a door into the theater. Alex had his head sticking out of the trap door in the pit and he smiled when he saw me come in.

“Emerson! Come see your new home!” he said, waving me over.

He pointed to the door and I let myself in, shutting it behind me. It was a small pit, there weren’t very many live players since it was half pre-recorded beats anyway. Most of the musicians were already there, getting warmed up and tuning their instruments. Alex showed me where I would be sitting, close to the back corner of the room next to the bassist and a violinist. I introduced myself and was sincerely thanked by the violinist, who had been covering some of the cello parts on a viola in the interim. With only ten minutes to curtain, Alex showed me how to get up into the private box where Lin had reserved my seat.

I sat there alone, reading through the playbill until the lights dimmed. The music started like a explosion and I could already feel myself getting emotional at the thought that soon I would be a part of it. I tried my best to divide my attention between the music and the acting but found myself quickly getting overwhelmed. Every break between songs was enough time for me to recompose myself. I was thankful I had stuffed a pack of tissues into my purse. By intermission I was practically leaping out of my seat, ready to get started.

When the show was all done, I headed to the bathroom to reapply my makeup since I had managed to cry most of it off through the closing number. When I went to go through the door to the dressing rooms, I was stopped only until I explained my situation. Then they quickly apologized and let me pass. I headed down the hall, past the green room and then started reading the names on the doors, looking for Lin’s. I found it at the very end of the hall and knocked gently on the closed door.

“Who is it?” he called in a sing-song voice.

“It’s Emerson.” I answered back.

“Oh, come in, mami ! Come in!”

I hesitated for a second before pushing the door open to his small dressing room. A massive L shaped couch was crammed in one corner facing his dressing table and there was a shelf stacked with books and a small TV set up with an xBox. Lin was stretched out on the chaise, already in street clothes, playing what looked to me like Destiny. When I went to shut the door again he shook his head.

“Nah, just leave it open and come chill.” he said, patting the couch next to him.

When I sat down, he passed me the controller, “Do you play video games?” he asked.

He was playing some quick matches, which were easy enough. I had only played Destiny a few times on other friend’s consoles, so I wasn’t incredibly good. But I was definitely holding my own. “Oh yeah, mostly PlayStation though.” I said.

“What did you think of the show?” he asked eagerly.

“It was incredible. I don’t think I’ve ever cried over a musical more in my life. And I’ve seen Phantom and RENT live.” I answered.

“I’m so glad you loved it! That’s so exciting. I think you’re going to be really happy here.”

I glanced away from the TV to smile at Lin, “I think so too.”

Suddenly someone appeared in the corner of my vision at Lin’s door, knocking on it, “Hey, I wanted to ask you about that change you were talking about for Lafayette?” they said to Lin, clearly not noticing me sitting there.

“Oh yeah! For sure.” I had just started a new match and had commandeered a sparrow, taking off to find a good sniping position to try out Lin’s high level sniper rifle. Lin started talking like my being there was commonplace, “I think in Yorktown it might be cool to play Lafayette a little more cocky. You know, man? Like...he got all his French brethren to help us. I think he would be more proud of that.”

I glanced up from the screen for just a moment to see a tall man with wild curly hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and big lips looking directly at me, “Right, of course.” he said, responding to the suggestion, eyes dragging back to Lin.

“Oh! Daveed! Duh! This is Emerson, our new cellist. Sorry, I forgot you hadn’t met yet!” Lin said quickly.

“How’s it going?” Daveed said, smirking at me.

I tried my best to look at him to respond, but I had died and respawned right in the middle of the map where it seemed every player from the other team just happened to be camping out. “Good, sorry...fucking game...right in the middle of...OH NO YOU DON’T!” I shouted at the TV as a guy tried to sneak up behind me and mele me. I heard Lin and Daveed laugh as I spun around to kill that guy, only to be shot by someone from across the map. “Fuck!”

“Wow!” Lin chuckled.

I put the controller down on the couch, “Sorry, excuse me.”

“It ain’t no thang, chica .” Lin said, picking up the controller for himself.

When I looked over at Daveed, who was still standing in the door, he was looking at me intensely. I stood up and took a step so I could shake hands with him, “Hi, I’m Emerson. It’s nice to meet you.”

I wasn’t especially short, but Daveed seemed to tower over me. His hand engulfed mine when he took it, shaking it gently as if he didn’t want to crush it, “Nice to meet you, too. So you’re joining our crazy little family here, huh?”

I nodded, “Yes, soon hopefully. I was just fired from my last job so...soon.” I answered.

“You were fired?” Daveed asked.

Lin laughed behind me, “Oh yeah. And it was my fault too.”

Daveed raised an eyebrow, “How was it your fault?”

“Her theater put on In The Heights last week. I went to go see it, fell in love with her, so I went to offer her the job here. Apparently word got around her company and people got pissy. So her director fired her.” Lin explained for me, not looking up from his game.

“Is that right?” Daveed said.

I nodded, “Yeah, completely ridiculous. But maybe it was meant to be.”

“Maybe...” Daveed said smokily, something sparking deep down in his umber eyes.

“I promised Em dinner, do you wanna join us, D?” Lin offered, finishing his match and standing up to return the controller to the shelf.

Daveed shook his head, his curls undulating around his head, “No can do, man. Not tonight at least. Promised Rafa I’d work on some Clipping tracks with him tonight.”

“Oh is he in town?”

“No, we’ll probably Skype or something. But he’s getting antsy to hear the new stuff.”

“It’s cool, it’s cool.” Lin said.

“Well have a good night, you two.” Daveed said. He smiled down at me, flashing teeth, “Emerson...”

“Daveed.” I said, feeling my ears getting hot under his gaze.

Daveed left and I could feel Lin grinning behind me, but I chose to ignore him. When I turned around he had already moved on, shuffling around his dressing table gathering his wallet and other belongings. Once he was satisfied he had everything, I followed him out of his dressing room back down the hall. He poked his head into every room that still had people in it, seeing if anyone wanted to join us for dinner. In the end, everyone but Alex had plans already, so it seemed it would just be the three of us. We called an Uber and Alex handed me a thick, one inch binder that held the cello score.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’ll have a hard time picking it up.” Alex assured me. “From what I heard about your performance of In The Heights , this will be a cake walk.”

The Uber arrived and we hurried to climb in before anyone noticed Lin. I was sandwiched between the two men and I opened the score to flip through some of the pages, “Oh for sure. My high school always used professional level music. So I’m used to it. We never played the arranged stuff.”

“Did I tell you? Em’s a total boss. She ripped open a callus during the performance and kept playing!” Lin raved.

Alex chuckled, “I remember you telling me, Lin.”

I shut the binder, “I’m really excited to get started. But I still need to find a place to live.” I said.

“Oh yeah! I did look into that!” Lin said.

The Uber pulled up in front of a restaurant and we clambered out onto the sidewalk. I followed the men inside and a host led us to a quiet round booth at the back of the room. I slid in, yet again flanked on both sides by the two gentlemen and tucked my purse and the binder down by my feet. Before we could even get into what Lin had looked into, a waiter came over to take our drink orders. Lin ordered a beer, Alex a glass of red wine, and I ordered a Jack and Coke. Once the waiter was gone, Lin pulled out his phone.

“So I don’t know what your budget is right now, but I have a handful of options.” he started, scrolling through his phone. “There’s a studio open in Harlem where my friend lives for $950 a month. I think one of the lighting guys was telling me his building had a vacant apartment for twelve hundred. And then Daveed mentioned the other day that he had an extra room at his place he was willing to rent out for $450.”

“Daveed as in the Daveed I met earlier?” I asked.

I could feel Alex’s smug smile, “Yeah yeah. He's got a tiny brownstone up near the tram for Roosevelt Island. Nice place.” He said.

“Well uh...I'd have to think about it of course.” I mumbled, not sure how I felt about the flush creeping up my neck or the way Alex and now Lin were smiling like they knew something I didn't.

“Of course of course! Just let me know what you want to do and I can put you in touch with whomever.” Lin said. Our waiter came back with our drinks and while the men weren't looking I took two big gulps to calm my nerves. Lin turned back to me, “I know I’ve asked a million times. But I’m just too damn excited. When do you want to start?”

“Well I suppose I could make the commute a few times this week before I figure out the living situation. When is the next rehearsal?” I asked.

“Pit has a rehearsal this Tuesday morning and I think we have a full rehearsal on...Friday morning?” Alex asked Lin.

“Yeah Friday morning.”

“Okay. Then I guess I'll start there. If we decide I'm comfortable enough with the music after Tuesday I'll see about making the commute for the shows in between.”

“That sounds perfect.” Lin said, smiling.

The men launched into a conversation of their own, leaving me to retreat into my own thoughts. While all of this was very exciting and I was ready to get back to work, it was also still somewhat overwhelming. The options Lin had given me for places to live were tricky. The place in Harlem was definitely out of the question. I had never lived in the inner city so it might not be safe for me, a skinny white chick from upstate. The other place was much too expensive for what I could afford right away. I only had about three grand saved up since I was still paying off student loans and my car. But then there was Daveed’s tiny brownstone.

On the one hand it wouldn’t have been the first time I lived with a man. But it would be the first time I lived with a man I knew nothing of. Granted even that was debatable. The only college roommate I liked had been my best friend Kevin and then I lived with my ex, then boyfriend for two years. But I left Boston for a reason and while I had been living with my mom and her boyfriend for the last three months, I was sort of looking forward to living alone again. $450 a month was a hard offer to pass up. By the time dinner was served, I decided maybe it wouldn’t hurt just to get some more information. Make a final decision from there.

Alex caught his own Uber home after dinner and Lin insisted on going to the train station with me. We stood on the sidewalk outside the station after our Uber dropped us off, “So do you have any thoughts on your living arrangements?” Lin asked with that knowing grin again, as if he was reading my mind.

“Well obviously Daveed’s offer is the most logical choice financially. But honestly I need a lot more information and time.”

“Well that’s fair. Should I pass on your number?”

I was glad for the darkness to hide my flush, “Actually if you could just ask him if it’s alright for me to get in contact with him. I think that would be best.”

“Whatever you need to do.”

“Thanks Lin. Really I mean that. I owe you everything.”

“Em, mami , you deserve it. You really do, just let the love in.” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“I’ll try. I’m still working through...things.” I said.

“Well go home, get some sleep. We’ll see you on Tuesday.”

He hugged me and let me go into the station. I boarded the next train north and found a seat on the side that would be closest to the river. About halfway home I received a text from Lin.

- Texted Daveed. He said go ahead

Another text came through with a phone number. I saved it to my contacts then put on headphones to zone out for the rest of the journey. By the time the train pulled into Cold Spring station, it was almost 10pm and I wasn’t feeling like going home quite yet. The air was close and warm for this early in spring, thick with a fog that was rolling in through the valley. I decided to go for a drive, wandering around until I ended up down on the docks of the Hudson River. I sat there wondering what to do.

At midnight, I pulled out my phone to stare at Daveed’s number. I wondered if I should text him. It was very late and I didn’t want to wake him. But the curiosity was killing me. Why had he offered his home so generously to someone he didn’t even know? He clearly hadn’t seen me before or he would’ve recognized me in Lin’s dressing room. So it wasn’t about appearances. But the way he had looked at me...no, that was nothing. Was Lin’s word worth that much? I knew I needed to let it go for the night and headed home to bed.