#100% would wear it everywhere and just stare blankly at people when they ask me dumb shit and I don't wanna answer it

[windup-viera]

things I would want printing on a tshirt

[infinite-hearts-333]

A ‘push’ in the right direction.

Janus wants a soul mate. And he gets one- but of course their meeting would be anything but smooth sailing, or driving, really.

PAIRINGS: Mociet

WARNINGS: mentions of abuse, being locked in dressers, homophobic parents, alcohol, being hit with a car and panic, swearing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honestly? In this world, your 17th birthday was the biggest thing in your whole life. Why you ask? You get your soulmark. That's like more important than actually finding your soulmate- it's what helps you find them.

So, what is your soulmark? Good question. On you 17th birthday, you get a pitch black mark somewhere on your body. The mark is where your soulmate touches you for the first time. When your soulmate touches you, the mark will change to your soulmates favourite colour. The freaky bit is that the mark will peal off your skin and turn into a ring once you realise that their your soulmate.

I blinked, staring down at my skin, waiting. Nothing. I swear, I could be the unluckest person alive if I don't have a soulmate, I salty thought. I sighed, about to give up, when something black caught my eyes in the mirror.

What the fuck?!

There, on my back where two black hand prints. One was a little high on my back— just in between my shoulder blades and the other on my midsection.

"Great." I Mumbled. "My soulmate is a touchy freak."

But yet, I couldn't ignore the relief rushing over me. I had a soulmate, so at least I wouldn't be forever alone.

Oh. I'm sorry, our probably have no idea what I'm taking about right? I'll explain.

My name is Janus, Janus Serpent. I am, or have just turned 17– according to my clock about 6 mintues go. I like to say I live alone, but sadly I don't.

I live with my... ugh, parents. I hate them both. My father is a acholohic, and I, according to his words— am a mistake that should of never happened.

My mother, doesn't give to fucks for anything. I'm 100% sure she should be in a metal hospital. My father, unsurprisingly is not her soulmate. My mother's soulmate died in a car crash, and she met my father at the pub.

Both of them are extremely homophobic, and sadly for me, have a gay son that is about as straight as a circle. Luckily, I don't plan on telling them any time soon.

As I said, I'm 17, and extremely gay, but let me paint a picture for you. I'm quiet tall, around 5'10 last time I checked. I have a dreaded curse of having vitiligo, so my skin is two colours not one. I have a massive match over the right side of my face, which trails down my neck to my shoulder. The other patches aren't really big as that one, and are littered everywhere. I also have hetroclemia, but that the only hetero thing about me.

"JANUS GET YOUR ASS DOWN STAIRS!" Ah. Mother wants me.

I quickly got changed, pulling on my favourite turtle-neck jumper, leather jacket, skinny ripped black jeans, a yellow beanie and yellow sneakers.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder, ready to head to work. It was Saturday, so no school for me. I stumbled down the stairs, narrowly missing stepping on my father, who had passed out on the floor. I snorted.

Mother was waiting in the kitchen, a permanent scowl on her face. "Mother." I dipped my head. She scoffed, nursing a bottle of champagne. "Listen close brat. Me and your farther are going out to night. I want this place pristine when I get home, got it? Or I'll lock you in the dresser again."

I quickly nodded. Over the years, the rare few times I talked back or tried to run away I got locked in my parents dresser. Thanks to that, I'm now extremely claustrophobic, being in a large crowds can get me panicking.

"Good. Scram." She spat the last word and I grabbed an apple and quickly left. I shut the door behind me and sighed. Freedom.

"Happy birthday janus." I said sarcastically to no one in particular.

I quickly got out into the streets, heading to rem&em's cafe. Remy was my boss, and they were really nice, having literally picked me off the streets and giving me a stable job, home (if I wanted) and a real family.

I turned a corner. Two more blocks. I mumbled, swallowing. In the mornings the streets were really busy, people were everywhere, making a large crowd that swallowed me almost instantly. I fixed my eyes to the floor, trying not to panic.

Someone bumped into me, and I stumbled looking up. People were everywhere, grunting and mumbling to each other as they fought through the crowds. Panic exploded in my chest, my heart beat excelerating. Suddenly, I was 6 again, banging against the walls of the dresser, sobbing and begging to be let out again.

Please! I'll be good! I'll behave! Let me out!!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! PLEASE!!!

I hadn't even released I was sprinting, pushing people out the way as tears spilled from my eyes. Thoughts rushed through my head like a rushing river, never pausing on one.

Suddenly, I halted, my feet freezing. I gasped, choking on my breath and tears. I didn't notice the people yelling at me, or the lack of people around me.

Or the car.

"Hey— LOOK OUT!!!" Two hands collided with my back, and I was shoved forward.

There was the screech of breaks, and the sound of something- no someONE, hitting metal, then the floor. And then people started screaming.

I scrambled up, twisting around. Well, I'm glad I haven't eaten yet, or I would of lost my breakfast.

A boy, maybe around my age— quite short, with pale tanned skin, light brown curly hair and completely covered in freckles, laid still and limp in the middle of the road. A man, panicked and clearly late for work, scrambled out of the car that was exactly were I had been standing.

He..... he saved my life.

I scrambled to my feet, rushing over to him. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt, and beige shorts a cat hoodie tied by the sleeves around his neck. His circular glass sat a few feet away, the lenses shattered. On his feet were sandles and socks, making him by far the biggest dad- teenager ever.

I dropped to my knees, feeling my panic skyrocket again.

"Pat- PATTON?!" A lady pushed through the crowd, spotted the boy— no, Patton, and rushed over. "Oh my gosh, patton!" She Said, dropping to knees as well, tears forming in her eyes. She grabbed one of pattons limp hands, squeezing it as she quickly dialed 911.

It was only then that I noticed. Patton's hands. The palms where a sunflower yellow. My favourite colour. Time came to a halt, and I started to hyperventilate.

My soulmate saved me. And there hurt, because I was stupid.

I sobbed, the noise dragging out of my throat like sand paper. The lady- probably Patton's mum, looked up, finally noticing the boy crouched next to her son, sobbing and gasping for breath.

She looked down at Patton, noticed his hands and quickly rushed over to me. "Hey, Hey, hey, honey can you look at me? I need you to breath okay? Inhale for 7, hold for 4, and exhale for 8. Good job sweetie." The lady walked me through a breathing excersise, and then praised me and smiled. I gave her a weak smile, and flinched at the sirens in the distance.

"The ambulance will be here shortly. I'm Lillian. What's your preferred name and pronouns kiddo?" I blinked, swallowing. "I'm j-janus... h-h-he/h-him."

"Well it's nice to met you janus, don't worry, everything will be okay." I slowly nodded. The ambulance got there, put Patton on a stretcher and wheeled him into the back. Lillian held out her hand. "You wanna come kiddo? Patton would want to met you so badly."

"Y-you want me t-to come?" Lillian nodded. "Of course! You are his soulmate!"

I blinked. "A-and your not mad?"

Lillian gasped. "Of course not kiddo! Why would I? If Patton's happy, then so am I. Come on, are you coming or not?"

I paused, and then took Lillian's hand. I sat right next to pattons head as the ambulance drove us, and I hesitatly took his hand. I softly kissed his bruised knuckles. "I-I'm.... I'm sorry we had to met like this patton. But.... but please be okay. I k-know I just met you, but... just please be okay." I whispered against his hand.

It may of been my imagination, but I swear Patton squeezed my hand the most tiniest bit.

—an hour later—

I waited next to patton in the hospital. I had refused to leave ever since I was allowed in. He had been lucky, really really, lucky. Patton got away with only a sprained hand and a broken leg, but the could of lost his life.

Lillian had gone to get something for me to eat, since I haven't eaten at all this whole day. I stared blankly at pattons face, wondering what colour his eyes where.

Green? Like a emerald green? Or maybe the shade of a forest green. What about brown? Would it be a amber brown or a wood brown?

A small groan knocked me out of my thoughts, and I instantly sat up. Patton had started shifting his eyelids fluttering open. Brilliant clear sky blue orbs locked with my mixed matched ones, and I held my breath. His eyes..... were stunning. They were like as if the sky melted into the sea in a swirl of never ending blues, melting into each shade perfectly. I felt like I could get lost in them forever.

"Um... hi?" Patton said softly, shifting around in confusion. "Where am I?"

I stood suddenly, opening and shutting my mouth. "Um Uh, your at the hospital. I'm janus.... you saved my life. Remember?"

Please, please, please remember.....

Patton blinked and then something clicked, and his eyes widened. "Oh yer!! Hey are you okay?" I fought the urge to yell at him.

He threw himself in front of a car, and he is concerned about me?!

I sighed deeply, and sat on the edge of his bed. "Yep. I'm great now that your okay." I said softly, a smile tugging at my lips.

Patton blushed hard at that, and chuckled. "Um... sorry that I pushed you. My names patton, if you didn't know it already. He/him pronouns only."

I chuckled, and smiled more. He was adorable. "Janus. Janus Serpent, at your severice. He/him only too, my pretty puff ball~" I gently took Pattons hand and pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, and winked at him.

Patton went a bright ruby red and giggled. His giggle was adorable.... "Well it's very nice to met you to, Mr Snek!" Patton said beaming like the sun. I chuckled. Patton took back his hand, finally noticing it's black mark was a bright yellow. He gasped, and excitement took over him.

I couldn't help but giggle again. "Patton, can I show you something?" I asked, grinning. I had never smiled this much in my whole life. Patton tilted his head, then gasped his eyes widening as he realised and then violently nodded his head.

I turned around and pulled my shirt up a bit, showing off the two baby blue hand prints on my back. I had checked them when I had gone to the toliet when the doctors were fixing Patton.

Patton's gasp got louder, and I barely turned around before I was yanked forward into a hug. I flinched, hard, unsure what to do. I had never got a hug before......

Patton let me go at my flinch. "Oh sorry! I didn't mean to, I got over excited..." I blinked looking at my hands and then up at Patton. "No.. no it's okay Patton... but um.. could you do it again?"

Patton looked confused then gasped, but this time it was from horror. "Have you ever been hugged before?!" I paused, pursing my lips and then shook my head. Patton yanked me forward— again, and hugged me desperately. "I'm so sorry! I'm gonna make sure you get all the hugs you need from now on Okay?" Patton declared, squeezing me slightly.

I softly sighed, nodding. I mimicked Patton's movements, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulled him close, burying my face in his shoulder and neck. He was warm.... and smelt of cookies and vanilla. I particularly melted into him, softly smiling. This..... this was nice.

I probably fell asleep there, cuddling into Patton on a hospital bed, but hey! You can't really blame me, I'm lucky if I sleep at all!!

I shifted, blinking in confusion at the baby blue walls of the room I was in. I yawned softly, going to move my arms to stretch them, but realised something was curled up in them. I blinked more, and looked down. Patton was fast asleep, snuggled up against my chest, his arms wrapped loosely around my waist.

I felt warmth blossom across my cheeks, and I smiled down at him, laying back down so I didn't wake him. I lifted one hand to run it through Patton's hair, only to find a baby blue promise ring with hearts carved into it on my pinky finger. Ah. Our soul marks must of fallen off. I turn my head a bit, and sure enough, pattons hands where no longer yellow, and instead had a yellow promise ring on, shaped like a snake.

I hummed happily, and ran my hand through Patton's thick beautiful curls.

"Happy birthday janus." I said quietly to myself, smiling. I silently thanked the world for giving me the best birthday present I could of ever asked for, knowing that this day I would treasure till I died.

[demaury]

Only You (chap.1)

For Lucas, life has always been rather bittersweet, between shitty family situations and crappy self-esteem overall, but his eighteenth birthday marks yet another dramatic turn that no amount of cynicism could have prepared him for. (ao3 link)

February 2019

Scrap, scrap, scrap.

The pencil was grazing the paper sheet with so much precision and regularity that Lucas had no trouble supplying the missing sound of the lead. His eyes were focused on the hands of the customer sitting outside, only tearing away when the guy set the pencil down to roll himself a cigarette. Of course he was a smoker. February had been relatively lenient so far, but it was a bit too early in the year to spend more time outside than necessary, unless you were a smoker. He didn’t know how long he had been looking, but a lifetime of noisy canteen tables had given him the ability to tune his loud friends out whenever he wanted to — perhaps too effectively, because now he had three pairs of eyes on him.

He was forced to refocus his attention on his own table, tearing his eyes away from the street. Last time he had tried to find interest in the conversation, it had been about some party the guys wanted to go, since apparently Arthur had game with a friend of Marine’s, his platonic soulmate. Nothing that called for his contribution, from what he knew, but maybe he had missed the part where it got interesting.  

“What?”, he asked blankly.

“He’s hot,” Yann simply commented with an approving nod.

Lucas followed his gesture, directed towards the guy sitting outside.

“Super hot,” Basile confirmed, pausing from slaughtering a viennoiserie to spare a glance.

“I was looking at the drawings,” Lucas said, eyes falling onto his now lucky-warm cup of coffee.

“So you can actually see anything from here?” Arthur deadpanned.

Lucas’ eyes travelled between the three of them, but the insistence they had to look outside made him turn back one more time. It was the worst idea he probably ever had. Because yes, the guy was beautiful, but he was also staring right the fuck back at him from the other side of the glass. Lucas was sure he could feel his eyes burning holes into his skin — not in a bad way, but in a totally, a 100% fucked up way.

Lucas’ head snapped back the other way, so fast he nearly broke his neck in the process. Smooth, Lallemant, real smooth, he thought sarcastically.

“He’s looking at you,” Basile remarked unhelpfully and far, far too eagerly to Lucas’ taste.

“No he’s not,” he gritted out, scowling. “He’s looking at us, because you are fucking creeps. Stop staring!”

“Says the one who was staring first,” Arthur snorted. “Bro, you weren’t even blinking.”

“I was looking at the drawings,” Lucas hammered, whisper-screaming. “Can we just collectively ignore him now and drop the subject?”

It could have come in handy for him to know what the conversation was about before it came to this, maybe he would have had higher chances to redirect it on safer grounds, but as it was what were the odds that they had changed subject since the last time he tried to care?

Yann quirked a brow, apparently far from being done. “So you’d just pass on him?”

“I’m not passing on anything, he’s just a guy,” Lucas retorted.

“Right,” Arthur drawled, extending the ‘i’ obnoxiously. “Just a guy. Staring the fuck at you. Plus, our love lives are a lot less miserable than yours.”

“I just got out of a relationship, I’ll let you know,” Basile retorted haughtily.

“And I’m not interested in dating these days,” Yann shrugged.

“Then why can’t you just understand that I’m not interested either?” Lucas huffed, ignoring Basile’s intervention to focus on Yann.

He profoundly hated the sudden tone of the conversation, all too aware where this was going. He wished he was wrong, but as soon as Yann sighed and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the table, Lucas knew it wasn’t the case.

“Because it’s about your soulmate,” he said, “not about you not wanting to date.”

“It always is,” Arthur quipped in his cup of coffee.

Lucas’ stomach tightened, and he instinctively averted his eyes.

Today had been an empty day. Not bad, not good. Just empty, an hour carrying him here and the other carrying there. It wasn’t all that bad, it was even days like these that Lucas craved the most — those where he was just feeling numb enough not to care. Of course now it was a lot more difficult not to care when his three (supposedly) best friends had decided to meddle in, especially when he had asked them not to.

“Look, we just don’t want you to keep moping forever,” Basile added.

Arthur nodded, shifting towards Lucas who was sitting next to him. “He’s right. When a cute guy looks at you, you just go for it, that’s how it works,” he completed with a casual shrug.

“Yeah, just go talk to him.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Lucas retorted coolly, feeling his calm crumble with each passing second. “I’m not going to talk to a guy who looked at the four of us once, and I certainly don’t need your fucked up advices because you’ve got no idea what I’m going through!”

“Because you never let anything out,” Yann protested.

“Why should I?” Lucas exclaimed. “So you can tell me to forget about it and just move on?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Basile admitted, looking rather embarrassed, and Lucas’ eyes jumped on him. “It’s been what, five months, now? Maybe- Maybe that’s what you should do?”

Arthur and Yann both glanced at him, mouthing a quiet ‘dude’ with a shake of their head. Lucas opened his mouth and closed it, nothing coming out at first. “How about you start shutting up about your damn soulmate, Baz?”, he snapped. “’When am I going to meet her’, ‘what does she look like’, ‘what if I never see her’-”

“Lucas–,” Arthur tried, but Lucas snatched his arm away when he squeezed it lightly to distract him.

“No, I’m fucking done hearing you all complain,” Lucas protested, perhaps louder than he should have judging by the embarrassed looks of the guys. He shook his head and stood up abruptly, grabbing his backpack and making the cups on the table tinkle together. “‘Oh no, my soulmate’s Emma’, ‘oh no my soulmate’s a platonic one’, ‘oh when am I gonna find her’, but mine is fucking dead, so excuse me for making a big deal out of it!”, he exclaimed bitterly, throwing the last words behind his shoulder as he was already on his way out.

*

4 months and a half, 21 hours and 36 minutes.

138 days. Over 3334 hours.

That’s how long he had been miserable. Ever since that horrible evening, last October. He and the boys were having predrinks at the flatshare, before hitting a college party organized by PACES students, and the memory of his own laughter made it all the more painful in retrospect. They were not quite a month into their first year at uni, and Lucas was still buzzing with the excitement of it all. In complete honesty he couldn’t have cared less about his studies; the major he had picked after his BAC, economics, was far from being his thing, but the silver lining had been his soulmate. As Yann had pointed out to him shortly after getting his soulmark last summer, new faces all around at uni meant more chances to meet his ‘Eliott guy’. And Lucas? Well, Lucas couldn’t decently argue with that logic, really. Every new party was another occasion to casually hope for something to happen — he had just never thought that ‘something’ happening would be so fucking painful.

“What are you looking at?” he remembered laughing in-between two rounds of video games and his second beer, after spotting Arthur’s eyes on him for quite some time now.

Arthur had barely looked up, frowning behind his glasses instead. “Dude, I think… I think your soulmark’s fading.”

Lucas had glanced down at his arm, exposed by the tee-shirt he was wearing, heartbeat rising as he jumped up from the couch to the closest source of light in the room to get a better view. A rush of adrenaline after that, and Lucas’ brain a mess of emotions making his head spin. He remembered clutching at his own arm, as he could do nothing but stare at the six letter name growing fainter and fainter despite his pleas, until it was barely noticeable at all and that the guys had no more comforting things to come up with. No one went to the party that night. Instead, Lucas found himself cradling his arm most of the night, hoping and begging for it to be just a mistake. For Eliott’s name to come back, thick and black and bold letters all over again — but it never did. His soulmark had remained the same, a faint scar in the shape of a name.

He hadn’t sought other testimonies online this time. He hadn’t felt the need to. Soulmarks fading was about a soulmate dying, everybody knew that. He didn’t need people recounting tearful stories, nor did he need anyone to instill hope where it had no place to be. Whoever Eliott was, whoever he had once been, it was over for him — for them. It had been terrible from there, and he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise just to make his friends feel better about it. They were still at an age where these kind of things were a big deal, for better or for worse, and he knew he’d still be looking out for Eliott everywhere he went just like Basile did with his soulmate, if it weren’t for a fucked up destiny taking too much pride in screwing him over.

“Excuse me?” tentatively called a voice next to him.

“What?” Lucas answered sharply, head snapping to the side.

The scowl on his face turned into a sarcastic twist of his lips accompanied by a dry snort. Of fucking course. The artsy customer from the café was standing here, roughly two meters away from him. There was only one fucking reason he’d be here, and this fucking reason in particular was a three-headed dumbass he had known since high school and was now dying to throw under the next bus.

“They are assholes, alright?” he spat. “I don’t know what they fucking told you and I don’t fucking care. I’m not interested, period.”

“You’re not interested,” the guy repeated, slightly cocking an eyebrow. Lucas thought he was on the verge of exploding if he was so much as trying to insist. But instead, the guy reached for a rolled-up cigarette he had tucked behind his ear. “I was just gonna ask for a lighter, but it’s always nice to know where everybody stands I guess.”

He was smiling.

Lucas’ cheeks heated up from crushing embarrassment and he cast his eyes away, staring at his hands and deflating instantly. It was definitely not the worst day of his life, but he could feel it make a solid entry in the top 5.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m not smoking.”

The guy shrugged. “Alright.”

Please, leave. He was the only one beside him waiting at the bus stop, if he really needed a lighter it wouldn’t magically appear in Lucas’ pocket. Just leave. Fighting with the guys had sucked the last bit of energy he had left in his body, he didn’t have any more left. But instead the guy sat on the metallic bench. Ultimate fuckery if there was one. He didn’t have any idea what he had done in a past life, but he could only guess it was bad. Lucas tried to look away and absorb himself in the silent contemplation of the sidewalk, but all he could think about was that he wanted to come home and crawl under the covers and forget that day even happened at all. It wasn’t easy when the guy sitting next to him was a constant reminder of the shitty afternoon he had just spent, between boring classes he didn’t give a fuck about, friends who had forgotten the basic meaning of ‘supportive’ and, of course, last but not least, lashing out to a complete stranger for trying to hit on him and who happened to be so far out of his league that they didn’t even play the same sport.

A metallic flick drove his attention toward the lighter the guy was currently trying to make work, with a concentrated frown on his face and the cigarette now tucked between his lips. He kept flicking, once, twice, ten times, until Lucas couldn’t take it anymore.

“Usually when they don’t work the first five times, they rarely work the ten other times after that,” he said.

The guy glanced at him, then shrugged. “I guess I’m a dreamer then, uh?”

He put the cigarette back behind his ear and pocketed the uncooperative lighter in his brown jacket. Lucas took his eyes away and glanced at the other end of their street, where his bus was slowly (but hopefully steadily) making its way in their direction.

“Rough day?”

Lucas risked an eye in the guy’s direction. “You don’t have to do that, you know. It’s fine.”

He shrugged one more time. “I don’t mind,” he said, smiling a little even.

Is he fucking kidding me? Lucas thought instantly, taken aback. He found himself staring, blatantly, unapologetically, as if he was seeing him for the first time. He studied his insanely intense grey eyes, and the messy but effortlessly good-looking brown hair making wonders to his sharp cheekbones. He’s hot, he was forced to admit to himself, just when the bus reached their stop in a concert of screeching and hissing sounds. But somehow, his inner voice suddenly sounded a lot like Yann’s, and it made him angry.

Angry and upset and fucking outraged.

“Well, I do mind,” he articulated.

Before the guy could even say something, Lucas snatched his backpack from the bench and strode towards the entrance of his bus without a glance back.

[cloudynames]

Troublemaker

i promised i would be back!! please enjoy this yangyang post <3 also please keep hendery in your thoughts because he hurt his waist by falling :(( let’s thank winwin for taking care of him though!

Word Count: 1,838

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive thoughts

lets get it!!

-----------------------------------

Living in a dusty desert with scorching weather all year round was definitely not the top of your desired places to live. The summers were like Hell on Earth with sticky thighs and peeling skin if you didn’t apply enough sunscreen. If you thought the winters were better, it was only a couple of degrees lower and instead you were left wishfully thinking of snowy mountains. However, your wonderful college just so happened to border the desert and because most people didn’t want to work in the sandy wasteland, finding a job within the college town was near impossible. Jobs like dog-walking were available but walking every day in the 100° Fahrenheit for three hours was something you would despise. With how much you go out with your friends or not realizing how expensive rent is, you needed to make money because even with your parents donating funds, it still wasn’t enough.

Thankfully, a Motel 6 opened up barely half an hour away from campus and your parents had blessed you with a car just before you left for college. It was awkward trying to become accustomed how proper and prim you had to act since you were just college kid working at the dingy motel for a couple of extra dollars. Even though it was only a part time job, you’ve learned much about the importance of appearances. Wearing a stuffy black, blazer and a white button down every other day has people glancing at you differently and even letting you have coffee on the house at your favorite cafe. Many people thought you were an important business person but in reality, it was a young adult playing dress up.

Another important value your job has taught you was the importance of not judging the guests that walk in during different times of the day, the exact opposite for yourself. You’ve seen truck drivers, couples, business people, and more walk into the small Motel 6. No matter what state they seem to be in, whether it be exhausted, giddy, or anguished, you always smiled politely and asked, “What kind of room would you like to rent and for how long?” The fewer questions asked, the better night it would be.

Working at the Motel 6 has never made you seriously question the safety of your surroundings but has definitely almost made you press the, ‘Call police,’ button under the receptionist’s desk. You’ve seen someone come in with shovel which made you question their intentions until you realized they were a construction worker. After that brief encounter, you’re not worried about the people who walk in.

Until a cool, May night presents you with a boy with ruffled, messy brown hair and a glimmer in his eyes which can only be described as dangerous. When he walked in, you couldn’t help but stare blankly at him. He stands in front of you, rocking back and forth and whistling mindlessly to some popular tune on the radio.

“How may I help you, sir?” You question, quirking an eyebrow at him. He was dressed in a black sleeveless shirt with dirty combat boots. He played with the leather jacket wrapped around his waist, also while displaying his spiky belt. If trouble had a name, it would be his.

“It’s Yangyang. I want your cheapest room for one night.” His accent rings out in the air and you stare at him quietly. There is only one conclusion you’ve come to: a one night stand.

“May I see some form of identification?”

He slides an international driver’s license onto the granite counter and you carefully examine the card. ‘Liu Yangyang’ is the same age as you and seems to be from Germany. You give his license back after typing in the required information within the computer. Asking minor questions, you notice how his eyes glimmer or how he nervously played with a tuft of his hair. Silently giggling to yourself, you acknowledged how adorable he was. He seemed like trouble but that didn’t mean you couldn’t think the bad boy was attractive.

After handing him a key card, you wished him a pleasant night as he went back out the entrance, probably to hit up the bars and bring someone back with him. That thought doesn’t settle well in your stomach and you find yourself pouting because of fate. You wouldn’t have normally cared but this was the first guy you’ve found cute in a while. Shrugging it off, you dismissed the thought. You were just deprived of any romance with juggling a job and school. All your heart and brain wanted was someone to kick back with and the first guy you thought was attractive walked into the motel lobby meant your heart had to jump at the thought.

Yangyang comes back quicker than expected without an escort. Instead, he carries a guitar case, an amp, and a backpack. Wordlessly, you send a prayer up to God and hope that Yangyang isn’t going to be the spawn of Satan and play his guitar at nearly ten o’clock. He waves you a goodbye as he ascends up the elevator, almost dropping the amp in the process. Shyly, you wave back and turn back to your homework that you’ve hidden under the receptionist desk.

An hour passes by and nobody has called the desk or came into the motel. Internally, you’re grateful but your gut tells you that your night isn’t going to be that uneventful. Just as you were finishing up your calculus work, the painful ringing of the desk phone disturbs your relaxed mind. Taking a deep breath, you pick up the phone and with a cheery voice, you speak, “Hello, this is Motel 6’s receptionist desk. How may I help you?” A gruff voice greets you, “Yeah, hello. There’s this annoying ass kid playing the guitar on my floor and I want him to shut the fuck up or I’ll request a refund!” He nearly screams into the phone, making you move the device away from your ear.

“Yes, I will talk to him immediately. Thank you for notifying the desk.” Without waiting for his response, you slam down the phone. You already know who’s causing trouble.

Liu Yangyang.

As you call one of the other receptionists in the break room to cover for you while you deliver a stern talking to the troublesome guest, you notice the phone ring again.

Bracing yourself mentally, you pick up the phone and are immediately greeted with, “Front desk? Yeah, deal with that kid! I can’t sleep and I have an important business meeting tomorrow. I’ll have this entire motel bulldozed before you can even blink!” And the line ends with a buzz.

The clacking of your shoes on the tiles reflect the beating in your heart as you go up to the floor above to encounter the hot topic of the night. As you stare at room ‘116,’ you feel anxiety build up and you realize you’re hyping yourself over nothing. Shaking all feelings away, you quickly rap your knuckles on the dark wooden door.

Yangyang opens the door soon after, sweat covering his forehead, making his hair stick to his neck and he smiles breathlessly at you.

“Hi, what's up?” He asks casually, holding his guitar in one hand and holding the door open with the other hand. With his whole room on display, you noticed how his room seems to be disheveled with garbage thrown everywhere. Pity fills in your chest for the maids tomorrow but you’ve come here with a mission.

“We’ve received a few calls for noise complaints. Would you care to explain the situation?”

Suddenly, it clicks in his head and he attempts to hide the guitar behind his body. “Uh, nope. No clue. I haven’t heard anything.”

Eyes narrowing, you step closer to him and get a whaff of his intoxicating cologne but it doesn’t stop your task at hand.

“Liar. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Keep making noise and we’ll be more than happy to kick you out.” With that, you whip your body around and start stomping off to the elevators once more. You didn’t fail to catch his whisper afterwards as well, “Woah, that was hot.”

Taking your seat at your desk once more, you fan your hands in front of your cheeks as an attempt to calm yourself down. Playing on your phone served as a good distraction as soon it was twelve and your other coworker has come in to take over your shift. “Hi Johnny,” you greet him, writing down notes of things that have happened throughout the night.

He replies back and before he can talk your ear off, you shove him into the breakroom so he can get settled and take over your shift. Just as he comes out of the breakroom, the phone rings once more, almost mocking you. Dread sets in your stomach and you hope it’s someone calling for an extra pillow. Slowly picking up the phone, you say, “Hello, front desk. How may we help you tonight?”

The same gruff voice from just an hour earlier assaults your ear with profanities and something along the lines of, “That stupid fucking boy is making more noise! I can’t stand it! Listen--”

“Yes sir--” You cut him off before abruptly continuing, “We’ll talk to him once more,” you end the call and sit back in your chair, groaning loudly.

Johnny affectionately pats your head. “Just threaten him and then you can go home.”

Home did sound nice after a night like this. Grumbling and hauling your backpack upstairs irritated you immensely. This time, you weren’t going to be so nice to this boy. You thought he got the message originally but clearly not. He wasn’t going to ruin your night anymore. You had no sleep yet and were looking forward to bingeing a new show since you had no class the next day.

Knocking on the door, you braced yourself for a long, insulting speech about his lack of manners and how he would be a lot cuter if he learned some.

The culprit opens the door and brightly grins.

“Oh good! My plan worked! Now you can talk to me but it looks like you’re reprimanding me so nobody will suspect anything!” With that, he grabs your arm and yanks you into the room. You’ll never admit to him once you’re in the room that you liked the feeling of his warmth on your arm.

What were you saying about a deprived love life again?

---------------------

“Liu Yangyang,” you state, licking the vanilla cone he bought you before it begins to drip all over your hand.

“Yes, baby?” He replies, brushing the hair out of your eyes and also taking a lick of his own cone.

“Why were you at the motel that day?”

“Oh, I left my dorm to practice because my roommates were complaining about the noise. The adorable receptionist was a bonus that night.” “You’re so irritating.”

“But you love it.”

[reddie-to-go]

REDDIE PROMPT WHERE THEYRE IN COLLEGE AND RICHIE IS ALWAYS LATE TO SCHOOL AND EDDIE IS JUST LIKE THIS GUY IS CUTE SO LEMMIE JUST,, “HEY DUDE,, YOU NEED A RIDE OR SOME SHIT??” AND THATS HOW THEY END UP MAKING OUT AND ~STUFF IN EDDIES CAR, SKIPPING CLASS THE NEXT DAY

Okay so first off I’m really sorry that this took me so long to get to whoever requested it. this was seriously one of the first requests I got and I should have tried to get it done sooner. that being said I really liked how it turned out and I hope everyone does too!!

Eddie, like most university students absolutely hated morning classes. He seriously had no clue why they were a thing. It should be a law that school can’t start until 9AM. Minimum.

He blamed Bill for the early morning torture he had signed up for. Bill didn’t want to take creative writing alone and since it technically fulfilled Eddie’s English credit requirement, Eddie thought it would be a good idea.

He was completely wrong.

So now instead of having a nice relaxing morning to sleep in he had to wake up at 6 in the morning and drive for 45 minutes in morning traffic, all while hating himself, just to sit through a class that he didn’t really like.

It’s not that he didn’t like it exactly. He just never had anything to write about. Bill could just pull ideas out of his ass while had Eddie struggled to think of a topic for the prompt “Write anything”. There was a reason Eddie had gone the medical route. All he had to do for that was know stuff, and seeing that his mother had basically made him live in the ER when he was younger, he knew quite a bit.

Eddie sat at his desk with his head down, his arms wrapped around him, blocking any light from hitting his eyes. He popped one eye out when he heard something being placed in front of him.

Bill had arrived offering a peace treaty of coffee and a bagel for the campus coffee shop. Eddie reached his hand out and pulled the bagel into his little ‘cave’, nibbling on it sleepily. Bills morning treats were one of the two things Eddie liked about this class.

“Oh come on Eddie, waking up early isn’t that bad.” Bill chirped, much too lively for Eddie to handle at the current time.

“That’s because you’re used to it with your stupid hikes and stuff,” Eddie grumbled pulling the coffee towards him, he was going to try to drink it with his head still down but decided he wanted to start the morning drinking the coffee, not wearing it. So he sat up and rested his head on his hand, looking over at Bill.

“If you came with me sometime, you’d also be okay with waking up early.” Bill replied taking his seat beside Eddie and pulling a binder out of his bag.

Eddie just responded with a sound and reached down to pull his binder out as well.

The teacher started class shortly after that, something about antagonists. The coffee was really doing its job, and Eddie slowly felt less like he wanted to kill someone and more like a solid punch would be okay.

About 20 minutes into the teacher talking and taking mindless notes, the door handle clicked and the door swung open. Since the door was at the front of the room everyone’s attention turned from the teacher to the guy at the door.

He was the other thing Eddie like about the class.

So what if Eddie had a crush on some guy he’d never spoken to, he wasn’t afraid to admit it. accept he was. Not even Bill, who he would consider his best friend knew about the weird crush he had on the guy from their creative writing class that would always come in late.

Like seriously it was almost impressive how consistently late he was.

“Mr. Tozier. Please take your seat.” The teacher instructed without looking over at the door.

Eddie had found out his name was Richie by maybe Facebook stalking him the first time he had heard his last name.

Richie saluted to the teacher and crossed the room to his seat at the back corner of the room. Eddie slyly turned his head to watch him walk to his desk. He fist bumped with the redhead he always sat with as he took his seat.

Eddie assumed that was his girlfriend by the way they acted together. That didn’t mean he couldn’t look, right?

So that was how Eddie spent most of his mornings, barely listening to lectures and sneakily glancing over his shoulder at the hot guy that sat at the back of the class. Once Richie got there the class seem to move a lot faster.

The teacher wrapped up her lesson and dismissed everyone. Eddie had been zoning out looking out the window for the past ten minutes so when Bill shook his shoulder his head jerked down in surprise. Everyone was packing up.

He was looking up at Bill confused when he heard a laugh come from the back of the room. He looked over his shoulder to see Richie covering his mouth with his hand and staring right at him.

Eddie quickly spun around to face the front of the room.

Had he zoned out staring at Richie? He didn’t think so but he couldn’t be sure. Great now Richie was going to think he was some weirdo who stares at people blankly during class. He shot out of his chair, threw his backpack on, and grabbed his binder from the desk. Rushing out of the room, leaving a very confused Bill at behind.

He stopped when he was in the hallway and moved out of the way of other students trying to get to class. Leaning against the wall he waited for Bill, hoping he would get the memo and hurry after him before Richie left the classroom.

Of course he didn’t and Eddie stood there, sinking further down the wall, trying to be as unnoticeable as possible when Richie and the red head walked out of the class and right passed him. The girl was talking as they passed but Richie turned from her to look straight at Eddie and laugh.

Eddie was sure his face was bright red. How was he supposed to come to class after this?

Bill followed shortly after and found Eddie by the wall, red-faced and slightly freaking out. The two left the building, Eddie refusing to explain to Bill what was going on. They meet Mike out on campus and walked to the next class together.

Eddie felt like he was having a midlife crisis at twenty. He made it through the rest of the day and headed home that evening dreading coming back to school the next day.

But of course the next day came. And Eddie hated missing classes, even stupid morning ones where the guy he liked was there and would probably laugh at him and God Eddie really hoped Bill brought something really good this morning because the other reason he went to this class was really stressing him out. The weather mimicked his mood as it began to rain.

He resentfully got into his car and realized he was actually earlier than usual. Great, so now he was going to get to class extra early and have to sit there and wait for like half an hour. 

Absolutely not.

Eddie decided to take a longer route than he normally did, hopefully killing enough time so that he would just get to class on time.

He turned down an unfamiliar road and followed it for a bit. Getting slightly lost and unable to see the street signs through the rain. He turned down another side street, this one seeming to be completely dead. Completely dead except for a single person walking along the sidewalk.

They had a hood pulled over their head and they were soaking wet.

Why would anyone be walking right now, there were bus stops everywhere and by how wet they were, it was pretty obvious that they had been walking for a while.

Eddie slowed his car down and watched them. It wasn’t until he got relatively close that he realized who it was.

Of fucking course, it was Richie. Who else would it be. Eddie must have pissed off some god. what else would explain the slim chance that the one person he was trying to avoid was the only person walking down a street that Eddie never went down.

He was about to step on the gas and get as far away as he could but stopped when he noticed Richie shivering.

It was too early to be dealing with moral dilemmas. Eddie slowed his car down even more and stayed about a car length behind Richie as he walked. Maybe he had his car park somewhere up here and was just walking to it.

“I’m not being creepy; I’m being a concerned classmate.” Eddie justified to himself as he followed Richie for another block.  

When two more blocks passed Eddie was convinced Richie planned to walk the whole way. But there was no way, the university campus was still another fifteen-minute drive.

Eddie took a deep breath and speed up a bit coming to a stop a little in front of Richie. He rolled his window down and stuck his head just out of the window

“Hey there.” He called, immediately mentally slapping himself. he probably looked like the biggest stalker right now.

Richie looked over at him confused before recognition filled his face and he pulled an earbud out and approached Eddie’s car.

“Hey yourself, you’re from writing class right?” Richie asked as he leaned an arm on the top of Eddie’s car. Eddie honestly didn’t know which would have been worse. If he recognized him or if he didn’t. this was pretty bad.

“Yeah,” Eddie said laughing awkwardly. This was worst. “So um, are you planning on walking to class today?” He continued, trying to get right to the point. Eddie wasn’t the best “small talker”.

“Yeah, I was. It is such a beautiful day. Shame to waste it.” Richie joked nodding up towards the sky. Eddie laughed awkwardly again. He wasn’t serious, was he. Eddie wasn’t 100% sure but he figured it would take another 30 to 45 minutes to get to the campus from here.

“I’m heading that way if you want to um, catch a ride with me or something,” Eddie asked.

Richie stared down at him and smiled.

“I’d get your car all wet. But thanks for the offer. I’ll see you in class.” Richie said as he pushed off from Eddie car and headed back to the sidewalk. Eddie didn’t move for a few seconds before inching forward and stopping just in front of Richie again.

“This cars pretty shitty already, and if you walk from here you’ll be late.” Eddie pointed out

“But if I’m not late what will your excuse be for watching me walk to my seat.” Richie laughed as Eddie’s face lit up. He started to stutter which only made Richie laugh harder.

“Okay, okay I’ll take the ride if you calm down, I was just joking,” Richie said between breaths as he approached the car, this time rounding the front. Eddie rolled his window up gawking at where Richie had been. He saw his reflection in the closed window and saw how red his face was. Well, he had gotten what he wanted.

Richie pulled the passenger seat open shook off as much water as he could before entering the car.

Without saying anything, Eddie stepped on the gas and sped off towards school.

“So do you offer rides to all the boys you stare at or am I just special?” Richie asked after a few minutes of silence past between them. Eddie’s eyes widened as he drove.

“I don’t stare at you.” Eddie defended, biting his lip.

“You sure about that?” Richie laughed, looking at the side of Eddie’s face. Eddie could see the disbelieving look Richie was giving him from the corner of his eye.

“Okay, so what if I stare at you.” Eddie challenged. He had no clue where the sudden confidence was coming from but he knew that he needed it to get through the rest of this car ride.

Richie looked taken aback by his answer for a second before a smile broke out across his face.

“I do too.” He said, still grinning at Eddie. Eddie turned his head from the road to look over at Richie in surprise.

“W-what” He stuttered, turning back to face the road when he almost ran into the car in front of him.

Richie laughed again from beside him.

“Yeah, all the time. You do some pretty cute things in class. Like almost falling asleep.” Richie turned to look out the front window. “I was going to talk to you after class yesterday actually, but you looked like you were going through some stuff.”

Eddie was beyond confused. Was he on some kind of TV show. There was no way that this was his real life right now. Eddie made the turn into the student parking lot and pulled into his parking spot.

“That was umm, nothing. Forget about yester…” Eddie said turning to face Richie, who had quietly moved his face so it was right in front of Eddie’s when he turned. Eddie froze and stared. Richie leaned in slightly closer

“I never asked for your name,” Richie whispered leaning in even closer.

“um, E-Eddie.” He whispered back, unable to move.

“well Eds, Thanks for the ride.” He placed his hand on Eddie’s thigh.

Eddie was the one who finally closed the gap between them. He softly pressed his lips against Richie. Richie hesitated for a second, thrown off my Eddie’s boldness but quickly gathered himself and pressed back.

The soft kiss quickly escalated into Richie leaning over the console to push Eddie back against the driver’s door. Eddie, not wanting to be upstaged in the impromptu make-out session was the one to intensify the kiss by licking his tongue along Richie’s bottom lip

Richie moaned at the feeling. He returned the favor by pressing Eddie harder into the door and exploring his mouth with his tongue.

This is really not how Eddie saw today going. Like, he wasn’t going to complain but it really was a curveball.

Eddie pushed on Richie’s shoulders and they separated, panting for breath but not moving too far from the other.

“Wait, wait. Don’t you have a girlfriend?” Eddie asked starting to panic. He was not down with being a homewrecker.

“Girlfriend? Who Bev?” Richie looked extremely confused and then he laughed loudly when Eddie blushed a deeper shade of red.

Richie raised his hand to Eddie’s cheek and kiss him lightly.

“Bev is like my best friend, almost like an annoying little sister. I’m only taking this class because of her.” He reassured before leaning in to kiss Eddie again. Eddie kissed back enthusiastically before abruptly pulling back.

“Fuck. Class.” Eddie shrieked looking down at the clock. They were ten minutes late to class.

“Shit.” Eddie reached into the back seat and grabbed his backpack before throwing the driver seat door open. Richie laughed as he watched him, and jumped out of the car. Eddie grabbed his hand instinctively and pulled him as he ran towards the English building.

He flung the classroom door open, dropping Richie’s hand and froze when everyone turned to stare at him. Eddie dropped his head and half ran over to his spot, where Bill was gaping up at him. Eddie dropped down beside him and hid his face in his arms.

A second later he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll take another ride sometime,” Richie whispered into his ear as he walked past him towards his seat.

Eddie’s entire face lit up but he smiled into his arms.

Today definitely didn’t turn out the way he thought it would. And he was definitely okay with that.

Hope everyone liked it!

Tag list (I’ll get it right this time!)

@smol-and-annoying @donvex @richietoaster @reddieornotasshole @williumbyers @eds-trashmouth @curlylemonhead @gazebo-reddie  

[stlynnthoria]

Today while napping....

I had a very interesting dream where I was on some sort of stream with Chris Demarais, Michael Jones, Jeremy Dooley, and I think some other Roosterteeth people were there in the background? Anyway, I don't really remember what we were talking about on it but I guess the cameras were set up for bust shots, because I was there without pants. At one point I made a comment about someone's clothes and Michael was like "Man you have no room to talk, like what are YOU wearing on your legs? What is that??" And there was lots of laughter but it was towards the end of the stream and so I was like "It's nothing, I dunno what you're talking about! You're gonna make the audience think there's somehjng weird about me but this is completely normal!" And he was like "Yeah no, if you don't wanna explain thats fine but whatever is up woth you that's not normal" then looked at the camer and said "Just so you know, she's not normal, I dunno why we have her here" and then Chris was like "Hey now, it may be a luck thing or something" and Michael was like "Who's getting lucky with her?? Is it you?" And Chris and I were both backtracking with that and there was more laughter. After the stream ended, Jeremy asked if it was my fav pair of underwear and I was telling him how it was and I'd had them for years (???? What even dream-me?), and he askes if I was going commando and I was like what? So he explained that he has a lot of underwear that has holes where his balls are and be understands how uncomfortable chaffing can be because of that, so is it ever uncomfortable? And like no that's why I've had this pair for years they're super comfy.

And then Jeremy asked me to do him a favor, and it was to go to North Korea with him to visit his parents. I said yes and he was like "I didn't think you would say yes!" Ans Chris was nearby and was like "That is insane!" And I said "What's so crazy about it, I have the extra money for it and I've always wanted to go to an Asian country. I mean, I was aiming more for Japan, but this works" Then we set off for the airport without me even packing anything. We took like this subway to it, and met Gavin Free and Meg Turney there for it (they were going to North Korea for something else). While on the subway, we stood by this Korean chick and some white dude. They seemed to know eachother, and the white dude was talking about how the Korean chick was a legit prostitute and how she should be used to him coming on to her, and she was trying to say she wasn't. Eventually the guy stopped talking to her and started some convo with Meg and was getting uncomfortably close to her, until Gavin casually slid between their bodies ans stares the dude down. After we got off the Subway, I turned to Meg and was like "That's the best real life anime block save I've seen! He's good boyfriend material!" And she was like "Yeah I love when he does that it makes me feel so special. I just wish there was a way I could shout a phrase and he could do it faster" and I was like "Yeah but then you run the risk of turning him from thoughtful boyfriend to possessive boyfriend" and she was like "Yeah that's true" (glad that shit made sense to you dream-Meg because wha???). Then I grabbed her hand and declared that we HAD to talk anime.

The Airport we went to was like freakishly huge with a really, really long sidewalk up to it. So Meg started singing anime theme song mashups on the way up (she was really good) and I joined her, and we chatted about the shows and how Gavin never really listened to her about the shows on the way up. Jermey and Gavin were chatting about the new rules of flying in the background and how Trump was now making security keep a list of people who have tickets, and then another 'Trump-approved' list of people whi could fly without tickets. And how there's been a lot lf problems with it because anyone whi isn't white passing or part of the military are being put in waiting rooms before flieghts because of it, and some people have missed flieghts as a result. I'm thinking I'll be fine because I have two brother's in the miltary (nive use of foreshadowing, dream-brain). Finally we reach the airport, but Gavin and Meg split off because they parked their car here before work I guess and they needed to go put a sticker on it? So me and Jeremy start walking towards the security for this place, but we have to go all the way across the building for it. At one point we start to walk by a guy in a YouTube shirt and Jeremy goes "Watch this" and shouts "Hi I'm Jeremy Dooley!" And the guy just stares at him blankly. And I guess I have a YouTube channel, because I give him my username for it and he just nods at me. But then he does a doubke take and just stares at me and goes, "You were on Miles Luna's livestream!" And internally I was like "knew it" because appearantly we all knew it would be known as that even tho Miles wasn't on the livestream at all?? And I was like "yeah I am" as a passed him. But the dude followed us and was like "Are you dating him?" And I was like "No" and somehow I knew he would ask me out. Then the dude took of his shirt and said "Wanna date me?" And I was like "No thanks" and he was all "But why?" But then we were at the security gate so he left. There was a little old lady in front of us, and after giving her name to the agent he asked her what she did, who she was going to see, and a few other questions I couldn't hear and then told her she had to step aside and go to another desk. As this is happening, another security gaurd clears Jeremy. I get the security gaurd that just sent the old lady to the waitint room and now I'm not so sure I'll be fine because that old lady looked white af. So he takes my name and asks me how my day is and I say great and then he asks me if I like Harry Potter and I'm like "I love it! Its my favorite series" and he smiles at me and says that's nice and for a second I think he'll let me pass.....and then he sends me off to the side, to the same desk as rhe little old lady and I'm like shit. So I tell Jeremy I'll catch up to him. At this point I think its a good thing we showed uo three hours early. So I go to the desk and the guy there calls me something completely different, so I correct him, and then he's like "Okay i think I may see you here but we have to check a few things" and sends me to the side room, which is up some escalators that go down instead of up. The little old lady is at the escalators and she's bitching about how she's too old for this but goes up there anyway. Once we're in the room we're told to take off our shoes and put on provided slippers for some reason. The room is PACKED for some reason. I'm confused because it seems to be a very mixed group, until I hear someone talking about hiw J.K. Rowling is doing an event in North Korea a few hours after the flight lands and everyone flying out of the U.S. for past events similar to it have had the same issues and some even missed their flights. And I realize they're not just targetting POC but Harry Potter fans too for some reason, and I got caught up in it because I got my ticket last minute.

So I sit there for a bit, fuming because its bullshit. Then I decide to act like my name is called, and I go down the escalator and manage to get past the ticket gate cuz the room is behind the security check but there's no gaurds outside it. I go to one of those moving floor things, thinking it will take me to my gate, but there's like three of them and they're all color coded. Turns out there actually for baggage and halfway though it I realize this and try to get off, but then a different gaurd spots me doing this. I tell the gaurd this is my first time at this airport and he explains to me what luggage each belt is supposed to be for. So I leave my bag and jacket on the belts, and he leads me to a different belt. He explains to me that this is for travellers and it will incase me in a protective 'film' for travelling but there's no one else there, just these weird circular things going on these belts and encasing them in what looks like plastic, and I turned to him and go "what the hell??" And he just looks at me and is like "What do you think that is?" And I say "I think its a vacuum plastic machine and you're trying to kill me!" And he's all "I know you didn't pass the security check" and starts on the rant about people like me who break the rules result in people being fired, and he knows Trumps regulations are bullshit but its still not fair for me to do this, so I deserve to die. At this point a different gaurd appears with a piece of paper. The gaurd I'm talking to looks at it, pales, and stammers out an apology to me and says I can go, but I have to go to a specific restaurant in the food court first to talk to some doctor. And I'm like fine, I still have 2 hours till my flight anyway.

But as I'm heading out I hear the security gaurd ask the second gaurd how long I have left, and the second gaurd say "We really don't know" and now I'm creeped out but I hope it has something to do with my anaemia and its nothing series. So I show up at the food court and spot the doctor, and as I approach him he seems very upset so I'm like "what's wrong?" And he says "I lost my 50th gold coin! That was the last coin I needed for the collection and I lost it!" And somehow I know the airport is doing a thing where if you collect like 100 gold coins scattered around the airpirt you get a prize. And I'm thinking this doctor is too old for this, and go to sit down. But as I do I spit a gold coin with the number 50 on it. So I pick it up and say to the doctor "Here, I think this is yours" and he takes it from me and suddenly theres fireworks and confetti everywhere as he celebrates. Then the dream ends.

Still don't know what I was dying from. Also didn't even get to see dream-Korea.

[carolightpenvenys]

DON’T TELL THE BRIDE

My entry for @fuckyeahdwightcaroline‘s writer’s choice day... Enjoy and leave feedback x

Shoutout to @dismiss-your-fearsx for the inspo x

Before:

“On a scale of one to the three wheeled car you bought once because it was lonely, how bad is it?”

 Caroline winced, leaning her hand on her cheek as she leaned on the countertop of their pretty swanky apartment- not one of Dwight’s more rushed decisions.

Not that Caroline would ever let him choose an apartment without her.

“It’s pretty bad.” Dwight ran his hands through his hair, sat on the stool, staring blankly at his macbook.

Slowly he turned the macbook round so it faced Caroline and her hands, attempting to put her hair in a messy bun dropped instantly.

Dear “Dwgt ENys”

Regarding yours and “Caroline the moooost beautiful woman!!!!”’s application to Don’t Tell the Bride, we would like to tell you you have been successful! Congratulations! All contracts were signed in the terms and conditions and you can expect the camera crews at “our beautiful apartment!!” on Monday to film short profiles of you and  “Caroline the moooost beautiful woman!!!!”

Many thanks

The BBC Team

“Oh Dwight.” She breathed. “What the fuck have you done?”

The Dress:

“Do you know,” Ross sighed as they entered the wedding dress shop. “I thought I hit rock bottom in my life but never have I ever fucked up this bad.”

“Caroline is steaming.” Dwight shook his head. “I’ve got no clue what to do and she had a moodboard in the apartment. A bloody moodboard. I’ve also pissed off her family because they wanted to pay for everything.”

“Of course they did.”

“You know they tried to give BBC more than the regulated amount. Which is a little illegal.” “Excuse me.” The camera man butted in. “We can’t talk about unregulated subject matter while filming.”

“Ah yes.” Dwight grimaced. “What was the question?”

“How do you know Caroline’s perfect dress?”

Dwight gulped. “I don’t.” He smiled awkwardly. “I’m just going to have to wing it and hope for the best.”

“Just to let you know,” Ross spoke into the camera. “Caroline is not the kind of girl who would wear a dress then Dwight of all men bought on a whim.”

Dwight raised his eyebrows. “What are you saying about me? He knows no better.”

The cameraman cut the shot. “The viewers are going to love this banter. At first, I was concerned by your small number of groomsmen,”

“Just me.” Ross filled in.

“But I think,” the cameraman nodded. “You guys can carry this.”

“Thanks I guess.” Dwight furrowed his eyebrows, trying to work out if this was genuine or a pisstake. Almost as much as the pisstake of having to take his entire year’s holiday at once to plan this wedding.

They had to film the first conversation with the wedding shop assistant about seven hundred times, explaining each time that yes, this was the boutique from Caroline’s moodboard and yes, he was very inebriated with his best friend watching Don’t Tell the Bride when he signed up. And yes, she was still with him.

But to Dwight, every white dress looked the same. Normally, he shopped a little more fashionably than most men (except that “unfortunate” grey coat as Caroline named it). But that was the issue. Without Caroline whispering in his ear about bespoke embroideries, he didn’t know shit from butter.

“And what does your fiancée do for a living?” The lady asked politely and Dwight realised  he’d just resting bitch faced the camera for about an hour.

“Oh, she’s a freelance journalist for travel and fashion.” Dwight smiled. It had been a few days since he’d seen Caroline and it was abundantly clear that he couldn’t survive three weeks.

“She’s a fashion writer?” The lady placed down the dress immediately. “Right ok, this dress won’t do. Let me take you through to the high end dresses.” He knew he was heading into pricey territory and had to watch the budget but he knew Caroline would probably never speak to him again if the dress was anything less than perfect.

He saw bits and pieces floating by but with every new dress he’d see something that wasn’t right and told the cameraman, “Caroline hates frills, Caroline would die if there was beading and most of all, she’d rather die then wear a short dress. She keeps saying something about not being able to do a half loop stitch on China silk.”

“That’s from Legally Blonde.” The wedding dress lady filled her in, laughing a little.

“What can he say.” Ross shrugged. “He’s whipped.”

Just as Dwight was about to go round the bend, he saw something poking behind another hanger.

“Grab that?” He asked her.

“What?” She screwed up her face and he hoped to God she wouldn’t humiliate him on TV. “This is from last year’s collection.” But when she pulled it out. He knew.

“It’s perfect.” He breathed.

https://fa707ec5abab9620c91c-e087a9513984a31bae18dd7ef8b1f502.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/10742325_hermione-de-paula--couture-bridal-artistry_t661e1ee3.jpg

The Hen Party:

“I wouldn’t let onto him.” Caroline sighed. “But I am so worried for this wedding.”

“Well it’s actually physically impossible for you to let on.” Demelza rolled her eyes. “You’re literally not allowed to speak to him.”

“Don’t.” She held the bridge of her nose with his fingers. “I could give him a shirt with poppers instead of buttons and he would claim to not know the difference.”

“I hate how I can imagine that.” Demelza winced a little. “Where are we meeting Verity and Elizabeth?”

“In a secret location.” Caroline was trying not to panic. “That Dwight has chosen please God tell me he hasn’t planned the most vulgar hen party in existence. I want to be in bed by midnight.”

“What are you, 100?” Demelza asked. “It’s your hen party.”

The tinted windowed car pulled up as they were forced to remove their blindfold.

“Ah. This is a classy joint. This is good, this is good.” Demelza was reassured but Caroline didn’t recognise the place, like at all so had some suspicion- it was only in her nature.

Also it really didn’t help that she had a cameraman in her face the whole time, who she smiled at politely. They appeared to want her every reaction as she whispered. “Hopefully Dwight didn’t plan this drunk.”

Overall, Caroline’s initial impression was pretty good, but you wouldn’t know that as again, they were forced to film the entrance many many times. Finally they were united with their friends on a table and were told that their afternoon cocktails were indeed bottomless, courtesy of the groom, with all expenses paid.

“Well.” Caroline smiled, drinking her rosé spritzer and holding it up for a cheers. “I know I said I was furious at Dwight about this whole thing.” She turned to face the camera for dramatic effect. “And I am.” She turned back to her friends. “But that was before I knew about the infinite wine.”

Demelza chimed in. “I think we can all agree we are getting fucked tonight ladies.”

The Stag Party

“I’m glad we went and played it simple.” Dwight said to Ross as they drunk straight whiskey in their favourite homely pub.

“Not sure the camera man is too thrilled though.” Ross indicated and yes, it appeared he was asleep in an armchair as the log fire lit the room dimly.

“Cheers.”

The Wedding:

Why was Dwight having last minute doubts about the theme of the wedding? It had to be blue right? They both looked so good in blue and-

“Dwight I think you just zoned out. Again. She’ll be here in a minute.”

“Ross please.” Dwight saw his worst enemies, Caroline’s family sat front row. “I am wishing my own death over and over.” He passively aggressively waved and mouthed hi at Uncle Ray who just raised his eyebrows.

“Fuck him.”

“Ross you can’t swear in a Church!”

They were cut off by the announcement that the bride was to enter.

Dwight wanted to say every curse word under the sun but he knew the vicar was stood right next to him and was already judging Ross.

But he didn’t think he could say any words that could summarise how he felt when he saw Caroline walk down the aisle.

He suddenly didn’t care about the awkward cameras, or awkward wedding process because all he really cared for was the woman walking towards him, with a warm smile on her face that went all the way up to her loving eyes.

Yes, Dr Dwight Enys had fucking nailed it.

Despite her fancy tastes and luxurious upbringing, Dwight could never doubt that Caroline didn’t want a ceremony that was vulgar, that’s why he’d made the crowd small and the emphasis on her big, so it really felt like her day.

“Hey.” She whispered, smirking as she stood opposite him. “You killed it with the dress. They had to redo my makeup and all.” Her mic was picking this up, so yes, the viewers would hear this.

He could barely speak, after all. When he was around her, he was tongue tied and foolish.

She took his hand and when they said their vows, it was almost as if they were connected by something more, something ethereal.

“I really didn’t take the easy road marrying you did I?” Caroline leaned into him as they left the church, confetti everywhere.

Dwight could only smile mischievously, “And now, no doubt you hate me.”

“And now no doubt I hate you.”

The photo taken after she said that still lies on their mantelpiece.

After:

It was about a year after the wedding that Dwight and Caroline, neither users of social media checked the reaction to their wedding on twitter. They’d laughed endlessly at their own episode, so much so Caroline’s sides actually split.

“Ok so someone needs to get me a dwight enys????? he knows you can’t do a half loop stitch on china silk bc ofc he does?????? #dying #perfectioninaman”

“Right caroline is like my actual queen though? I never ever watch this trash show but i am trash for this couple #sorrynotsorry”

“#carolightpenvenys”

Caroline smiled. “Carolight Penvenys? Please.”

“Let the people do what they do.” Dwight let Caroline cuddle closer to him on the bed, pulling up her pink bedsocks and fiddling slightly like she always does.

“Dwight.” Caroline bit her lip. “I want to ask you something.”

“Anything.” Dwight was more open than she expected.

She took the laptop from him and it was too late before he realised what was going on.

“Oh Caroline!” His eyes widened. “No!”

To: applications@bbc.co.uk

From: yesiamarealdoctor@gmail.com

Subject: don’t tell the bride!!!!! Applction

Dear ladies n gentleman of the bbc

My name is Dwgt ENys and I want to volunteer me and my beautiful FUTURE WIFE(!!) Caroline the moooost beautiful woman!!!! To take part in your show!!

I want to make our wedding the best thing to ever live but me and my bst friend Ross know that her family hate me and asdfgh i just am scared we will fall out

I will attach about 100 photos of Caroline on the bottom so you see how beautiful she is ad her hai is so soft

Thanks and u can find us at our beautiful apartment!! But not all the time because my lady a go getter

Thanks

Dr dwight enys (PhD)

“Oh my God.” Caroline was uncontrollably laughing and honestly, Dwight had already softened. “And to think half your patients are in love with you. Little do they know you wear odd socks and drink your tea with a frankly offensive amount of milk.”

“What are you to do with me?” Dwight looked into her eyes, teasing a little.

“I guess, I guess I am going to have to take pity and stay with you forever.”

[merlinficreview]

The Student Prince: Chapters 6-10 Review!

The Student Prince by FayJay

Word Count: 145222

Chapter 6

This chapter opens with Merlin bitching, “’I still can't believe I paid all that money for this stupid gown,’ muttered Merlin under his breath. Arthur reached over to clip him around the ear without breaking his stride, and Merlin ducked and avoided the blow reflexively, grinning.” I don’t blame him. I hated buying shit for school so much and let me tell you, as a nursing student, I had to buy A LOT. Also, wtf at that reaction, Arthur? Your poor friend is complaining about having to buy ceremonial robes he’s going to wear once and your reaction is to assault him? What?

“’You didn't,’ said Arthur. ‘The St Andrews-Camelot Scholarship Fund did. Along with the Prince's Trust. Which is to say, me. So stop whining.’” My point still stands.

“’Oh, come on – we look like a load of Santa-flavoured drag queens,’ Merlin protested, glancing around at the flock of students in their thick, strawberry-bright robes who were making their way towards St Salvator's chapel for mass.” Uh. “Santa-flavoured,” has to be one of the oddest descriptions ever. Why flavored? What does Santa taste like? Probably the souls of small children with the stench of cookie-binge guilt. Is Merlin licking these robes to know what flavor they are? So many questions.

So I’m not 100% sure what’s even going on with this scene because it mentions them walking to mass in these robes but they walk like 10 miles and there’s a cliff, so I have no idea what to picture.

“It's a stupid tradition. We walk all the way to the harbour, walk down to the end of the pier, climb up onto the second level, where there's no guard rail and the waves are crashing madly into the stonework, and walk back to the start of the pier – only this time we're walking on something the width of a cream cracker, like bloody tight-rope-walkers. With no guard rail.” Well that seems completely safe and not at all something the school has probably been sued for multiple times or anything when half their student body tumbles off the pier and dies. What even is the point? It’s a tradition. OK? Of what? Survival of the fittest?

“’Only for a few yards, then there's a whole lot of teeny tiny thin pathway twenty feet up above the stone and fifty feet up above the sea, and no guard rail.’ Gwen snorted. ‘Chicken.’ ‘I'm just saying it's completely pointless!’” Merlin is the only sane person around, damn.

“’Oh, shut up and tell me what colour underwear Prince Arthur's wearing, so I can imagine tearing it off with my teeth,’ she muttered into his ear, and he made an outraged noise.” Stop it, Gwen.

Merlin starts asking Gwen about Lance and when she’s going to hook with up with him and she’s so stupidly oblivious about it it’s embarrassing AND annoying. “’He's a nice guy,’ said Merlin, nudging Gwen. ‘So, are you playing hard to get, or what?’ ‘What?’ she stared up at him blankly. Merlin pulled a face. ‘Well - Lance, of course,’ he said, tilting his head and searching her eyes for signs of sarcasm. ‘He's potty about you. Obviously.’ Gwen laughed. ‘Oh, don't be daft!’ she said, punching his arm. ‘He's just being friendly! He's practically a monk!’”

Merlin tries to explain to his poor dim friend that Lance is into her, “’Don't, Merlin,’ she said, looking at him unhappily. ‘Please don't.’ He frowned. ‘But – I don't get it.’ He glanced over at Lance again, and sure enough the guy was gazing back at Gwen with his heart in his eyes. ‘What do you want, interpretive dance? Semaphore?’ ‘Well, asking me out on a date would be a great start,’ she said, tartly. ‘You know, something subtle and understated like that. But that's not going to happen, because blokes like him don't date girls like me, they date girls like Angelina Jolie.’ She swallowed. ‘Or Elaine.’ Merlin gaped. ‘Are you pulling my leg?’ ‘I wish you wouldn't do this,’ she said, looking away. ‘Can we talk about something else?’” Even though she’s dumb, I do have to agree with her, “Well, asking me out in a date would be a great start,” point.

Merlin randomly has a tantrum about being poor and hating all the rich people around him. Ok, Merlin. Do you, I guess.

Gwen tells Merlin the clubs she’s joined, “Tunnocks Caramel Wafer Appreciation Society, Rock Soc, Film Club, Wine Tasting, Canoeing, The Mountaineering Club and Touch Rugby," she recited, counting them off on her fingers.” I really just wanted to point out Tunnocks Caramel Wafer Appreciation Society. What? Is this a club dedicated to loving a specific type of cookie? Can we also appreciate how random all these are? None of them are even remotely related to each other. Spread your horizons, I guess, Gwen. I mean, she’ll have the time once she realizes her school doesn’t offer the program she wants to major in. Gwen has also joined Lance’s Professional Knight in Shining Armor group, but it’s a secret so she tells Merlin not to tell anyone.

Then Sophia starts making her way down the sketchy cliff ladder and her skirts start blowing away in the wind. Men are gross and make gross comments, etc., etc. Gawain says that she’s looking over at Arthur. “’What do you mean, in there? His Royal Hotness is in everywhere,’ said Kay, sounding petulant. ‘There's not a single female in this city between the ages of fifteen and a hundred and five that he couldn't have just for snapping his fingers, the jammy bugger.’” Just putting this quote in here because I fucking hate it when men refer to women as, “females.”

So Sophia falls off the Death Trap Ladder. Surprise, surprise, and Merlin stops time to save her. Merlin decides to make her weightless so he can catch her. He starts time again and she lands in his arms just as Arthur runs into them and they all fall down. As per usual, Arthur gets all the credit for Merlin saving someone. At least Arthur is not happy about it.

Merlin is suspicious that Sophia threw herself off the ladder on purpose. Gwen gets pissed because she’s stupid but Morgana and Morgause agree.

Chapter 7

Merlin has reached Arthur’s car and Sophia is protesting getting in. Not at all suspicious. “’I'm allergic,’ Sophia said, her eyes darting around the circle as if seeking a way out, wide eyed and trembling like a cornered rabbit. ‘To cars?’ said Kay, his incredulity clear in his voice. ‘No! To – uh – to air freshener,’ she said, pointing at the little green fir tree swinging from the rear view mirror. ‘I get a terrible reaction – it could send me into anaphylactic shock. Please don't make me.’” This made me laugh. What a terrible lie.

Merlin straight up asks her why she’s being so sketch, “’No,’ she said in her sweet, clear voice, burrowing closer into Gwen's arms. ‘There is nothing else I should tell you.’ She swallowed, and then said: ‘But I hate cars. They make me feel – trapped.’ ‘You're claustrophobic?’ said Gwen, sounding startled. ‘I had no idea! She frowned. ‘Okay, but – come on, Soph. You must have come to St Andrews by car, or by bus, because there's no train station, and you're not going to tell me you sailed in, or flew in!’” Wait… didn’t Merlin and Gwen get there by train?

Gwen, Lance and Sophia get in Arthur’s car and leave. Arthur doesn’t go with them which makes me laugh. Kay is a super asshole about women. No one is surprised. “‘Well, at least I get laid. Emrys is a pathetic little horndog who's just hoping for a pity fuck if he pretends to be a Sensitive New Age Guy,’ said Kay. ‘It's pitiful. Carpe the fucking diem, Emrys.’”

Honestly, what the fuck?

Arthur tells them that Merlin is gay, which shocks Merlin because he didn’t think Arthur knew about it. And also, what the fuck are you doing, Arthur? Don’t fucking out people like that. Kay continues to be the absolute worst, “An expression of distaste curled his lip. ‘My point stands, though – you can't be friends with people you want to fuck. So if he's an uphill gardener, he can't be friends with us.’”

I feel like we need to have another conversation about friends and how they reflect on you. I mentioned this in a previous review but whatever. Your friends are a reflection of who you are as a person. Arthur is friends with Kay who is obviously a sexist, entitled, homophobic asshole. You cannot be friends with that type of person without it saying something about you as a person and if I were Merlin, I would stay the fuck away from all of them.

“’I wouldn't want to fuck you if you had a ten inch knob made of solid gold and your arsehole was the gate to Nirvana, you massive pillock,’ said Merlin, red faced and furious. ‘I can't be friends with you because you're a gibbering twatwaffle, not because I would ever, in a million years, want to shag you. Get over yourself!’”

Tell him, Merlin!

Arthur tells Merlin that Sophia is beautiful and asks whether Merlin thinks he should send Sophia flowers or deliver them himself.

Chapter 8

Arthur wakes up at 6am to go running.

Weirdo.

When Merlin’s alarm goes off, it’s to “My Heart Will Go On,” which Arthur changed it to. Sure.

Merlin goes to visit Gaius and has a quick chat with the dragon about Sophia, asking him what she is. Of course the dragon gives him some nonsensical answer.

Anyways, Gaius and Merlin talk about Merlin’s high class fancy friends and Gaius mentions Morgause hating the royal family but liking Morgana. “Morgana is her cousin – oh, don't make me recount all this ancient history, Merlin. The intricacies of who hates whom and why are enough to make me tear out what remains of my hair and move to China. Suffice it to say that Morgause is loyal to a fault to Morgana, and tolerates Arthur, but she has - very marked opinions about the King.” Which is an odd thing to say because it was previously implied that Morgana and Morgause were kind of a thing. European Royalty, man.

Merlin is super impressive with his amazing magic skills so Gaius has to rewrite all their lesson plans for the whole year. Which is his own fault because Merlin’s previous teacher told Gaius how good Merlin was and Gaius didn’t believe her. Merlin sort of tells Gaius about the Sophia thing and Gaius gives Merlin some ideas about what she could be.

“Yes, Her Grace did mention something about mistrusting some young lady who went near Arthur. Although I have to say that having seen how much raw power you have at your command, I do find myself feeling rather reassured about the prince's safety. Of course the dragon's magic protects him when he's on the University grounds, but one can't limit his movements entirely.” Remember this for later. I have my reasons.

Then Gaius actually explains the whole dragon on the door thing, “’Ah – that picture on the doors is The Great Dragon.’ He pointed at his own red door with its gold painted dragon. ‘The last of the dragons. He lived and died millennia ago, but his spirit – his soul, if you will – is bound to the bones of the university. The stones of the School of Sorcery scattered across the globe are his living skeleton, in accordance with a mighty work of magic wrought during the Golden Age, and nobody can be attacked by magic within the bounds of the wyrm.’ Gaius sounded very much like he was quoting from some well-known text book that Merlin hadn't read.”

“…Either way, the buildings that hold the doors are all protected, so young Arthur is safe in most of the University buildings in St Andrews. We have rather a lot of dragon doors in that little town.” Remember this too. Reasons, etc.

So Merlin goes back to talking about Sophia and how she smelled like honeysuckle. This throws Gaius into quite a tizzy. “Gaius's face fell. ‘Oh dear,’ he said. ‘Oh. Oh dear me.’ ‘What?’ ‘I warned him! Don't do it, I said, but did he listen to me? Oh no, His Majesty always knows best. And now look where we are!’ ‘What?’ ‘You shouldn't go disturbing these things, I told him. We'll have to pay for it. And have I not had a crack team of fifteen wizards protecting the wretched man day and night ever since? So of course they'd go on to target his family – typical!’” You know what I fucking hate? When a character has to ask multiple fucking times for an explanation to something that the other character knows about. Just fucking tell him, damn. No need to go on and on and on about how you “told him so!” Good fucking job. So since I’m a nice fucking person, I’ll just tell you what happened. Uther stole from the fairies and they are pissed. No one is surprised, Uther is stupid, etc. End of story.

Then Gaius basically says, “LOL What a fiasco. Sophia is super dangerous, good luck with that, Merlin,” and offers him no help whatsoever. So Gaius is just as useless in this as in the show. Yup, I said it.

Merlin leaves and tries, unsuccessfully, to get the dragon to help him. “’How do you get rid of a fairy?’ he said. ‘I mean, I think she wants to kill Arthur, or maybe kidnap him or something – Gaius thinks she's out for revenge.’ ‘The Sidhe are immortal,’ said the dragon, studying its claws. ‘That's – not really the answer I was hoping for.’ ‘Such is life, young warlock.’” I hate these assholes.

Merlin asks why the dragon let himself be trapped in the walls or whatever. “The dragon tilted its head. ‘Because you promised that you would set me free,’ it said, and Merlin felt a chill run down his spine. ‘What?’ ‘When you bound me here. You promised that one day I would be free to fly again.’” You know, if you want Merlin to let you free, you might try being less of a major jackass and actually help him.

Just saying.

Chapter 9

Merlin decides the best approach to protecting Arthur is to stalk him. Not a great idea when half of Arthur’s friends are gross homophobes. “A quick glance around revealed plenty of pretty girls (and indeed not-so-pretty girls, and several boys, and at least one little lady old enough to be his grandmother who should definitely not have been looking at Arthur with such a frankly appreciative expression) casting languishing gazes in the prince's direction, but none of them looked like Gwen's roommate.” What is this elderly person doing on a college campus? Is she a professor? Is she lost? Someone better check on her.

“’Thought you might like to come for a coffee, or something,’ he added, randomly. ‘Looks like your pet chav has a little crush, Arthur,’ said Kay, with a curl of the lip. ‘Clearly he can't stand being parted from you for more than five minutes. He'll probably start dry-humping your leg in a minute.’”

See what I mean? What’s Arthur’s response? “’Give it a rest, Kay,’ said Arthur, frowning.” Oh, that’ll show him! It’s not like you’re the Prince of Wales or anything and can’t make him at least shut his fucking mouth around Merlin.

Then Merlin brings up Arthur invading his privacy, going through his things and changing his alarm without Merlin’s permission. “’I don't know why you tolerate him, Arthur,’ said Kay, rolling his eyes and setting off across the quad.”

Which… what? Someone push Kay in front of a fucking bus, honestly. Arthur is the one who fucked up here and Kay is blaming Merlin? Fuck you, Kay.

“’Oh – this is Leon, by the way. Leon – Merlin, my idiot roommate.’ Merlin nodded pleasantly at the latest Man In Black and tried not to feel insufficiently manly. ‘He was the one snoring when we left this morning.’ ‘I do not snore!’ said Merlin, scandalised. ‘Well then you did a very successful job of hiding some secret snorer in the bed with you.’” I’m only including this because it actually made me laugh out loud. Also, yay, Leon!

Later, Sophia and Gwen stop by Merlin and Arthur’s dorm. Sophia is clearly up to no good. “Merlin watched the two of them unhappily and felt a little shock of horror when he saw Arthur's eyes flash suddenly blood-red too. He really didn't need a book of magic or the advice of an immortal dragon to tell him that that was A Bad Thing.” First of all, duh. Second of all, oh look! Reasons has shown up! Remember how nothing could hurt Arthur while the dragon was around? What a liar.

The girls invite the boys out for a drink and Merlin is flipping his shit because the bar is not a building protected by the dragon to which I say: whatever, Merlin. She’s already put Arthur under a spell so I don’t know what you were expecting. She’s not going to whip out a machete and chop his head off in the middle of the bar. I would read that fic though.

At the bar, Gwen tells Merlin to stop being so obviously upset about Sophia and Arthur and she shockingly makes a good point when Merlin says he just doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, “’Oh,’ she said. ‘Well – right. But that happens, doesn't it? In life? And in relationships? I mean – it's all about sticking your neck out in the knowledge that some bastard might want to chop your head off, and just hoping and trusting that they won't.’”

“Fairy assassins who were immortal, and pissed off. And even if they weren't immortal, Merlin had never willingly killed so much as a spider, even when his mother was screaming and pointing and flapping her hands in misery. He'd always been more of a catch-the-spider-in-a-glass-and-set-it-free kind of guy. Progressing from that to even considering killing a living, breathing, thinking person – well, that wasn't a step that Merlin felt at all comfortable taking.” Clearly you’ve never seen your own BBC show, Merlin.

Merlin gets Sophia to go outside with him for a chat. She knows he’s a wizard and makes no secret of her desire to murder Arthur. I just feel like murder is a slight overreaction to some stolen gold, but you do you, Sidhe.

Merlin and Sophia make a deal and she gives him one day to give her the gold back. Then she basically tells him that he and everyone else are living in an endless cycle of reincarnation. Merlin is stupidly obtuse.

Chapter 10

Merlin goes to visit his BFF, Dragon MacUseless, “’Did you kill her?’ it asked, tilting its head and regarding him with dispassionate interest. ‘No!’ he exclaimed. ‘I'm not a murderer! I'm a physics student, for God's sakes! I don't go around killing people!’ The dragon yawned. ‘You used to be more pragmatic,’ it told him. ‘I expect you will be again.’” That’s what I said!

Merlin asks MacUseless if he should ask Nimueh or Gaius for help stealing the fairy gold, “’There is little enough love lost between Uther and Nimueh,’ the dragon said. ‘He blames her still for Igraine's death, while she holds him responsible in her turn.’ ‘Woah – come again?’ ‘Nimueh was part of the late queen's guard detail. She was supposed to keep Igraine safe. She failed.’” No pressure, Merlin!

“So the Royal Family do use wizard bodyguards, then? It's not just Morgana?” I don’t know why you’re acting like this is brand new information, Merlin. Gaius told you this was literally your job to Arthur.

The next scene takes place in the breakfast hall. AFTER Merlin has carried out stealing the gold. UGH. Major pet peeve alert, show us, don’t tell us!

Gaius confronts Merlin is the MOST infuriating way possible, “Stop! Stop right there – I really have no wish to hear you expound upon either Mathematics or Philosophy, Merlin. Just take the compliment, and let's leave it at that. You managed to keep the Prince of Wales safe and sound, but you did also give away a priceless treasure trove of ancient gold artifacts, and you made the King very cross indeed, and wore my patience very thin. So – you're not looking at life imprisonment in the Tower of London, but neither are you top of my list of favourite people right now. Don't push your luck by rambling on at me about Maths or Philosophy. And, Merlin?”

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO? It’s not like you were willing to help him or give him other ideas. Get the fuck out of here with that absolute NONSENSE, Gaius.

Later, Gwen asks Merlin if he got rid of Sophia. Which, even though is technically true, is a ridiculous thing to blame him for given the information Gwen has about the situation. Gwen says it’s weird and I say, you now have your own room! Congrats!

“Gwen shook her head unhappily. ‘The Warden isn't worried – he said that she had to leave. Something about a family emergency, or something like that. He was weirdly hazy on the details, but he seemed completely calm about it all – like it's something that just happens.’” Ok, if the warden had already told you this, then why the fuck are you blaming Merlin? And yes, it is something that just happens. You can’t schedule your family emergencies during summer break, Gwen. Stop being stupid.

“And as if the mere presence of Arthur Pendragon, resolutely heterosexual star of at least half of Merlin's teenage wank fantasies, wasn't distraction enough, Merlin also found himself called upon, in the weeks after he'd successfully negotiated a peaceful settlement with the Sidhe's assassin of choice, to protect Arthur from an over-amorous Selkie, two vampires, a small flock of ghouls, a gargoyle, and the ghost of Patrick Hamilton, who had been martyred in front of Sallies Quad.” Remember how nothing bad could happen to Arthur at school? This is some like Dumbledore level of “protection.”

So that’s it for this post. It’s starting to pick up now that we’ve got the introductory chapters out of the way, which is good. I get annoyed every time I read this fic about how we don’t actually get to see Merlin’s great gold caper. I am also getting increasingly annoyed at Gwen’s stupidity. I get that the author was going for a, “both characters are oblivious for their attraction to each other/ will they won’t they,” sort of thing but sacrificing Gwen’s intelligence for it is not a good look. Gwen is also really obtuse about other things that it almost makes me think the author is making her stupid on purpose. I also hate Kay. So. Much. LOL at the dragon’s, worthless “protection.” He literally does nothing to help protect Arthur. Other than that, it’s been an enjoyable five chapters.

Until Next Time: