#1) trans person who wanted to gay bash all of the gay people at work but especially me and art and said so on the facebook we'd all been | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

acescreations · 4 years ago

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Roleplay Transcript (pt. 1)

So this is an old roleplay I got permission from my RP partner to post to my writing blog. I guess revisiting this is kind of a birthday gift to myself and also an apology gift to all of you guys for not writing for shit.

Warnings: Fighting, swearing, violence, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, homophobia, panic attacks

Ship(s): Platonic Analogical

Word Count: 12,553

When Logan went to school on his first day of junior year, he was filled with a strange sense of pride. Students shot glances at him, seemingly worried that Logan would for some reason pick a fight with them, which he would only really do if they were being a jerk and deserved it. Teachers read his name off the attendance list with a hopeless tone upon realizing they had Logan, before looking up with a disappointed resignation when they saw Logan's patch of electric blue hair. Logan had built up a reputation of being strong, of being tough. Just about every kid in school knew about him, whether they be the bullies he fought, the kids he was defending from the bullies, or just the people who saw the fights he was in.

Virgil’s first day at Mindset High was pretty scary. He didnt make friends easily, and he felt like everyone was judging him. He wore a soft lavender hoodie and royal purple sweat pants. Everyone seemed scared of this guy called Logan. I mean, he seemed so grumpy.. He sighed, sitting next to Logan.

Logan blinked in surprise as he watched another student sit down next to him. Most people tried to avoid him as much as possible, so he usually sat alone during class. Even when there were only enough desks for each student in the classroom, people usually pulled their desk a distance away after even the slightest glance from Logan. He guessed this kid sitting next to him hadn't heard of his reputation yet. Well, unfortunately for him, the two were in Logan's least favorite class: history. The class that Logan now associated with whitewashed nationalist propaganda, and arguing with the teacher.

Virgil decided that he would at least get to know this strange man that everyone seemed so.. reluctant to like？ “Uh, hello, I’m.. well, if.. I’m Virgil.” He said tamely, he hoped that they could.. maybe talk？A friend would be nice.

Logan looked over at Virgil with an even, if not cold, expression. That wasn't a name he recognized, so this was probably a new student, which explained why they were actually talking to him. "Logan," he said shortly. They'd learn soon enough that Logan was someone you didn't want to be associated with if you want to have even just a neutral social standing.

Virgil nodded nervously. The dude seemed to be angry at him？Did he provoke him？Should he move seats？ He sighed as he looked down at his work.

Logan put his feet up on the table in front of him, pulling out his phone as he waited for the teacher to, as he put it, "begin his attempt at brainwashing a class of impressionable teenagers."

“Today we shall learn about the history of people that.. well.. people who.. the homosexuals.. and.. others.” Virgil was completely stunned, before immediately grtting dissapointed. “Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” He mumbled.

"Oh hell no," Logan said out loud. Literally everyone in the room probably already guessed about Logan not being straight, so he didn't have anything to lose from being vocal about his distaste over the lesson. "Oh, FUCK no." Underneath his iwn complaining, however, he heard Virgil's much more quiet complaint. Okay, so this guy is actually pretty chill. That's good to know. By "chill" Logan meant "not a smallminded conservative" but those pretty much meant the same thing to him.

Virgil sighed. “This.. is fine.” He said. He was a closeted gay boy, he didnt need this. “Now, this shall be respectful..” The teacher rolled her eyes. “Now, what do we know about.. you know.. those people.”

Logan heard what Virgil said, but to him, this most certainly was not fine. He had already picked his battles, and he picked all of them. "If it's gonna be respectful then why don't you just say the word 'Gay'?" he yelled at the teacher.

The class went dead silent. Virgil sighed softly. If someone found out he was gay, he would die on the inside. “Well, as you all know, the bible said that homosexuals.. will rot in hell.”

"FALSEHOOD!" Logan screamed, slamming his hands on the table as he stood up. "Respectful my ass! And how is this even history?!" Logan would go on, but if he's learned anything from the debate team, it's to let people keep saying stupid shit for Logan to prove wrong.

“Homosexuality is a diease. Now, now more recent years, we have homosexuality shoved down our throats. This is causing more parents to force their children to be gay. This all started because a black trans-” “Please stop talking..” Virgil groaned, tempted to just bash his head into the table.

"Gayness is NOT a disease," Logan said, smacking his hand on the table as he began talking over the teacher. "It's a human characteristic just like height or eye color. Gayness is NOT being 'shoved down our throats,'" he smacked the table again, "people are just getting introduced to labels they didn't originally have. Parents are NOT forcing their children to be gay-" smack "- most are actually beating and throwing their children out of their homes for being gay. But you know what? You just keep talking. Maybe one of these days you'll actually say something intelligent."

“You come from a biased pretense！You only see the side of the homosexuals, thats why you are one of the-” “OH, FOR FUCKS SAKE, CHANGE THE GOD DAMN SUBJECT YOU-” “Damn pastel！Didnt know you could speak.” A guy called out.

Logan immediately turned and shot a glare at the person who insulted Virgil, forgetting the current feud with the teacher for a moment. "If you're going to waste oxygen like that, at least keep it relevant to the conversation." Logan then turned back to the teacher. "You're the fucking biased one, you homophobe!" he shouted, pointing a finger at the teacher as he leaned nearly halfway across the table to yell at him.

“I am not a homophobe！I like.. the lesbians.” The teacher smirked, as Virgil began to laugh. Hes just,, this teacher, how did you get a job？ ”Fine. We will move onto a differ-”

For once in his life, Logan is so stunned by by what he's hearing reaches a loss for words. "How did you even get your teaching degree, you fucking creep?"

“I try to act respectful, and you insult me？I think people like you just stir up drama to draw attention to yourself.” Virgil had stopped laughing. He felt.. guilty. He shouldnt have laughed. Maybe the teacher was right？

Logan went completely silent, his hands curling into fists. "Don't. You. Ever. Generalize me. Like that." Then, to make sure he didn't try to physically fight his teacher, he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

Virgil watched Logan leave, watched everyone whispering about how freaky Logan was. How gay he was.. Virgil stayed quiet and refused to speak to anyone.

Logan stormed down the hallway, absolutely fuming. He ended up in the school's gym, knowing there wasn't a gym class that period. He let out a shout of frustration as he punched a wall, which hurt, obviously, but it satisfied him and let out some of his anger. After that he just stood there, fist against the wall, breathing heavily.

Virgils scheduele was lost, so he asked around for his next class. They led him to the schools gym, and left him there, lost and confused. Time to make an unlikely friend.

Logan had since moved to sit on the bleachers, glancing up to glare as Virgil entered the gym. He was currently in a mindset that nobody would be friendly towards him, especially right now.

Virgil felt the glare, but sighed. He did promise Patton to make one friend at this god forsaken hell hole. He slowly walks up to Logan. “Uhrm, hi？”

"What do you want?" Logan growled. He recognized that this was the person who was sitting beside him in history, but he still felt like he'd antagonize Logan anyway. Most people did anyway.

He gave Logan a weak smile. “A..Are you okay？” He tilted his head. ”And where is the rest of our class？” He expected at least one othed person to come in. Poor thing.

"I'm fine," Logan snapped defensively, in a counter-productive attempt at convincing Virgil that that was actually true. "And there isn't a class in here right now." Logan didn't have a gym class at all. He was actually skipping a class right now, but it wasn't like his teacher would miss him anyway.

“Oh..” He stammered, looked down at the floor guiltily. “Do you know where S7 is？” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And.. wait. Why arent you in class.. oh.”

Logan sighed as he stood up. "Yeah, come on." He gestured for Virgil to follow him with a small shrug of a shoulder.

Virgil smiled. “Thank you, Logan.” He said softly, following behind him, glad that Logan would do this for him.

Logan shrugged as he began leading Virgil to his classroom. "Whatever," he muttered. Whatever it took to get himself his alone time in the gym. He doubted it would do Virgil's social reputation much good to see him with Logan, though.

“To be honest, that ass of a teacher really should be fired. What kind of creep just likes lesbians？” He tried to make small talk.

"Basically the entire American public does, actually." Logan was pretty sure it was a rhetorical question, but it wasn't like he was wrong, he thought.

“oh.. well.. thats..” Virgil sighed. “Why were you there alone instead of hanging out with friends？” He seemed rather done.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, although he didn't stop walking. "Because there are classes going on right now," Logan said. It was true, although Logan wasn't hanging out with friends because he didn't have any. He just wasn't going to tell Virgil that.

“Dont you have a badass like, gang？Like everyone says？” He tilted his head, very confused. “Oh.. are you.. uh..” He was genuinely confused.

"A gang?" Logan said in mild surprise and disbelief. That was seriously what people said about him? Logan guessed he underestimated his own reputation.

“Yeah. Also, apparently you dont like when people steal your role, so you are going to beat my ass. If you are, then I guess do it here.” He has no fear for death anymore. This school sucked any hope of caring out of him.

"What exactly do people say my role is then?" Logan hadn't intended on carrying on a conversation for this long, or really at all, but he couldn't help but be curious as to what people said about him.

He stared up at the sky, he really didnt want to say this. Dear god, please strike him with lighting. Oh, no lighting？F- “You’re the bad boy that all the girls swoon over. Apparently you’re soft and sweet on the inside.” He scoffed slightly. His defense is up.

Logan stiffened as he continued walking, gagging a little. That was it. It was official. Logan hated his reputation. He supposed he'd have to work harder on establishing his reputation as being stone cold and heartless. He wasn't going to stop picking fights with bigots though, he knew that much. "Well, here's your class," he said to Virgil, stopping in front of a classroom before immediately turning go back to the gym instead of the class he had that period.

“Thanks Logan.” He gave him a weak grin. “Logan Man, Fighting off bigots day after day.” He scoffed, before it turned to a light giggle, and Virgil went into class. What a dork. A nice dork.

Logan glanced back as he walked off, turning back after Virgil walked into class. As he neared the gym again, he glanced down at his left knuckles. After punching the wall, they became red and sore, and Logan was starting to regret punching the wall. His hand still stung.

This is why you dont start a war on walls, you idiot. Virgils class exprience was.. intresting. They made up rumors about him and Logan, and Virgil wanted to vomit. Love always made him feel weird and uncomfortable, but hes absolutely sure hes just gay.

Logan sat back down in the gym bleachers. He didn't know what he was doing back here instead of going to class. He guessed he pretty much didn't want to hear whatever his classmates would say about him. That was actually the first time he stormed out in the middle of class like that, and he assumed that was what people would be talking about right now.

They began to gossip about Logan having a girlfriend, boyfriend, and then him being in a gang. Now they all think Logans a fucking gang leader. Good luck talking to anyone, Logie.

After sitting in the gym with nothing to do for a while, Logan stood back up and headed to the band room. That was where he usually went when he wanted alone time, the gym had just been closer that time. As he walked down, he realized that being a musician probably contributed to people thinking he's "soft and sweet on the inside" but fuck it. Music is probably the reason he doesn't throw hands with every mildly unpleasant person in his vicinity.

Virgil cant stop laughing at the pure idiocity, wanting to just record this and send it to Logan... Eh, later. Once he befriends Logan. He nods to himself as the bell rung. Now he could go find Logan！And hang out with him！

Logan had just reached the band room by the time the bell rang. "God dammit," he said loudly. Now he'd have to choose between letting out some energy and missing another class. Logan sat down behind the drumset in the room, pulling out his phone and earbuds. He figured his teacher wouldn't miss him, and really, who cares if the teacher calls his house? Who gives a shit? Certainly not him. So he put on a pair of fingerless gloves he kept with him, turned on his music, and played along to American Idiot.

Virgil was going to class, but heard... music？He quietly walks towards the sounds, peering in. They had a music room？！ Logan plays music？！ He quietly attempted to sneak in, to be able to hear better. He ended up tripping into a guitar, miraculously not breaking it.

Most people would've heard Virgil tripping as he snuck in, but not only was Logan listening to really loud music, but he was also playing a really loud instrument. But really, neither of those things meant much, because Logan was in The Zone. It would take a lot to break his focus.

Virgil was extremely impressed. Logan really was in the mood. He sat on the floor, just admiring the music.

Logan looked up once the song had ended, quickly pulling out his earbuds and jolting upwards once he saw Virgil sitting there. "What the hell are you doing here?"

“...Uhhhhh, I thought this was the cafeteria？Nice pl-playing.” He quickly stood up, immediately smackin into a cupboard and just sighing softly.

"Of course this isn't the fucking cafeteria, do you see any tabl-" Logan went quiet for a moment when he saw the knocked over guitar. He practically threw himself over the drumset as he ran to check on the guitar, because despite the fact that the school technically owned all of the instruments, that was Logan's Guitar. "The fuck did you do?!" Logan shouted as he checked the guitar over for any damage.

He quickly stood up. “See-ing a-as this isnt the cafeteria, I-I’m going to-” He began to speed for thr door.

Logan looked back up once he was sure his guitar was alright. Once he saw Virgil heading for the door, it occurred to him what he had just done. "I, I didn't mean to snap," he said apologetically, rubbing the back of his head as he looked away from Virgil. This new body language was a complete change from how he usually acts.

Virgil paused, reluctantly rubbing the back of his neck. “U-Uh, oh, ok-okay. I’m.. I’m sorry. You.. You clearly werent..” All words just seemed to die in his mouth.

Logan sighed as he stood back up. "Whatever, just, try not to knock any instruments over, okay?" Logan mumbled as he began walking past Virgil out the door. Okay, so he didn't mumble, but compared to how clearly he normally speaks he might as well have been.

"Thank you, L-Logan." He stammered. He didnt move, just awkwardly standing there. "O-Oh, uh, of course.. Uh, can I sit with you at lunch?" He managed through jumbled stammering.

Logan glanced back at Virgil as he walked out, trying to understand the logic of wanting to be around somebody who just yelled at you for something that wasn't intentional. Logan was hoping it wasn't anything like Logan being nice, because if Logan was the nicest person Virgil knew, well that's just sad. "Sure, whatever." Logan shrugged. He didn't actually know if he was actually going to stay until lunch, since he had been planning on leaving for the rest of the day. He shrugged at himself as he left the band room. Logan supposed he'd find out by lunch.

Virgil just followed after him, quietly. Hey, Logans the nicest guy here at this hell hole of a school, Well, the nicest guy he has met. He looks around, feeling awkward. Oh god. Why is he bothering Logan. He doesnt want you here. Just leave. "Uh-"

Logan attempted to continue walking as normal, despite the ever present awareness of Virgil following him. After all, by the looks of this kid, he's definitely harmless. Although after a while it became hard to ignore the little lost puppy of Virgil. "What are you following me for?" Logan asked over his shoulder. "Don't you have a class or something?" Honestly, how is anyone supposed to let out some steam when someone is following them everywhere?

Virgil flinched. "uh.. yeah.. sure.." He mumbled, and he quickly left. He didnt know why he cared so much. Oh wait, yes he did. Because he wanted Logan's friend. Why? Because he found Logan cool.

Logan sighed once Virgil left. He didn't really know why. Was he disappointed? Logan actually thought he might be. That was probably the longest anyone had ever voluntarily been around him, after all. Either way, Logan still had no idea what to do at this point, especially considering that if he left before school ended he'd definitely have to deal with the consequences soon enough.

Virgil headed off into the bathroom. He just needed somewhere to stay calm, and clear his head. Everything just made him feel horrible. He quietly locked himself into a stall, keeping himself quiet.

Logan leaned against a wall in the hallway, getting out his phone as he debated his options. If he left school now, Virgil wouldn't have to worry about his mistake of wanting to be around him during lunch, but his mom would be pissed if she found out he didn't even stay half of the day. But if he stayed and went to class, he'd half a lot of pent up anger with him during class, and his home had probably already been called due to him not having made it to this class period, so he'd still probably hear about it anyway.

Virgil calmed himself down, and went back outside. He looked around, wondering if Logan was still around. He.. He hoped so. He is not going to that hell hole alone.

Logan sighed as he put his phone away, finally heading to class. He was pretty sure that it was the world's most stupid desicion for Virgil to want to be anywhere near him, but as a new kid who clearly had no idea how to survive in this school, he probably wouldn't be very safe if he was alone during lunch.

Virgil quietly sighed, deciding to go to class. He hid his eyes with his hair. He slunk into the back of the class, trying to keep away from everyone.

Logan managed to keep himself from throwing hands for the rest of his morning class, heading down to the lunchroom afterwards. He stood against a wall and watched people enter without personally eating.

Once that hellish excuse for a class was done, Virgil quietly found Logan and walked up to him. “Uh, hi.”

Logan looked over at Virgil, honestly kind of surprised that he committed to his decision to spend the lunch period with Logan. "Hey," he said briefly, looking back across the room.

He gave him a pathetic grin, trying to not be awkward, but the boy radiates awkward. “Uh, uhm, er, hi.” He began to play with his hands, biting his lip.

"You don't talk to people much, do you?" Logam didn't look back at Virgil as he spoke. Was he hoping Virgil would decide Logan actually was unpleasant to be around and leave? Yeah, Logan thought he was.

“N-Not really.” He mumbled, not moving, copying Logans pose. He wasnt exactly enjoying the people staring at him, but hes happy having a friend.

Logan's surprise grew as Virgil started copying him. He didn't know why, but that was really unexpected. "Aren't you going to eat or something?" Logan was determined to not let his surprise, or really any other emotion, show.

Virgil shook his head, deciding a verbal response wasnt worth it. Plus, the food looked like slop. He fidgetted with his hands, trying to spark a conversation.

Logan glanced over at Virgil, trying to figure out what to do in this situation. God, this kid is making me more awkward just by being around me. It's a wonder he's survived this long.

Virgil thought about his family. His family sucked. It would be nice to know what raised that hardcore lad. “Uh... Whats your family like？” He said softly. God fUcking damn it, Virgil. You cant ask about anything N O RM A L-

The change in Logan's posture was immediate. His back straightened, his shoulders became more squared, his hands tightened into fists. "Why do you care?" Logan's voice was cold and hard as knives.

Virgil shrunk back, his eyes wide. “I-I dont know？I’m just trying to make conversations..” He trailed off, going silent. Wait. Why was Logan caring so much. “Oh god, are you an orp-”

Logan scoffed at that second comment, giving Virgil the slightest shake of his head and somehow managing to make those small actions violent and angry. I wish I was that lucky.

Virgil flinched. He felt his heart race at those angry movements. “Uh, er.. sorry.” Virgil practically sped off, he feels sick.

Logan turned and watched him go. If he were in any other mood, he'd probably feel bad for scaring Virgil like that. But right now he didn't even care, he simply turned back to glare at the rest of the people in the room.

The whispers of the room continued, questioning Logan and why he doesnt like his family

Logan didn't say anything to anyone, although when he heard someone talking about him he'd shoot a glare at them to get them to shut up.

The cafeteria was awkward and quiet. Nobody wanted to talk to Logan, or get beaten up.

Eventually Logan got tired of the stares and went back to the gym. He would've went to the band room, but there was a class there at the time, so he had to go with the next best thing.

Virgil was sitting behind the bleachers, desperately trying to calm himself. Logan hates him. Everyone hates him. He hates this hell-hole of a school.

Logan didn't notice Virgil as he came in, walking over to a padded part of the wall so he could punch it and not hurt himself again. He punched the wall, then drew his hand back and punched again, and again, and again. He hated his mother. He hated every single boyfriend she had ever had. He hated this school. He hated that he was always alone. He hated that this one time somebody actually wanted to be around him, he was determined to scare them off. He hated everything right now.

The punches just terrified Virgil even more. Oh great. Now a murderer was after him. He let out a strangled gasp, as his world began to spin round, making Virgil shake.

Logan paused when he heard the gasp behind him. He turned and finally noticed Virgil behind him, and of course it was only after he started panicking. Logan stood there, trying to figure out if he should go try to help, considering he was probably the thing causing Virgil to panic and being closer might just make it worse.

He couldnt breathe. The gasps became more frequent. Fuck. Hes gonna die here. Hes gonna die alone. Jesus this is getting sad.

Soon enough, Logan decided on walking over, kneeling down in front of Virgil. It wasn't like he was getting any better without Logan interacting. "Hey, Virgil?" Logan started in the most even voice he could produce. "I'm gonna need you to calm down, can you do that? Just focus on breathing." Fuck, is this what you're supposed to do? Logan honestly didn't have a clue, but from what he did know about panic attacks this seemed like an appropriate response.

Virgil trembles, before his blood stopped. Logan. “I-I’m sorry！I’m sorry！I-I-I-I...” He hears that Logans hear to help. “I-I cant- I-I’m a failure！”

Upon hearing Virgil's words, Logan's hands curled into fists. He was immediately ready to fight on behalf of someone he didn't even know. Then Logan reminded himself that right now, fighting was not in fact going to help. He took a deep breath, forcing his hands to relax again before continuing to talk to Virgil. "No, you're not a failure, there's no need to be sorry." Logan slowly reached out and took one of Virgil's hands in his own, checking for his reaction.

Virgil jolted, scramming away, apologizing. “I said- I said sorry！P-Please.. Leave me alone.” He sobbed. “I-I-I-” He felt his throat constrict.

Logan quickly pulled his hands away from Virgil, feeling guilt like a stab in his gut. This was all because of him, wasn't it? Maybe he should just leave, Virgil did tell Logan to leave him alone, didn't he? And Logan was pretty sure he just made it worse because he had no idea how to help, so Virgil would probably be better off if Logan left him alone.

Virgil whimpers, god hes so pathetic. Such a useless person. “Pathetic.. Useless..” He mumbled softly, looking away from Logan. The attack was beginning to die down, but he wouldnt be calm for a while.

Logan opened his mouth, about to correct Virgil on what he was saying about himself, but then he hesitated, and soon closed his mouth again. Logan looked down at the floor as he slowly stood back up and left, his endgoal being the doors leading out of the school. Logan officially decided he was done with being around people for a good while. Logan easily ignored the stares of the people in the halls. Most people took one look at Logan's overall demeanor and knew not to stare, so Logan was able to get out the school doors without even being interuppted.

Virgil made sure to keep close to Logan. He felt so guilty, he can’t believe he was so stupid. He had to have Logan come help him from a panic attack！All he is, is a panicky, clingy, failure.

Logan sighed and turned around as he got outside the door, facing Virgil. "Don't you have something better to do? Like class or something?" Logan was trying not to snap, especially since Virgil had just gotten out of a panic attack, but his voice was still harsh. Logan just wanted an escape from people, and now this little lost puppy of a person was becoming the first and only obstacle to that.

He kept his mouth shut. He felt so awkward. Like he owed Logan and apology. For seeing that. For seeing how much of a mess he was.. Yeah, he left soon after Logan spoke.

Logan walked away from the school after that, although he didn't really know where he was going. All he really knew at the time was that he wanted to escape from people, despite the fact that he didn't know where he could go that didn't have people. Logan ended up going over to the park, deciding that the park would have the least amount of people. After a while Logan had calmed down enough to tolerate human connection again, and walked down to the local café, because despite its black color, the fabric of Logan's jacket did little to protect him from the cold. He almost smiled as he walked through the door of the café, looking at the pride flag sticker on the window. Logan sat down in a booth, although since he was a regular the staff weren't expecting him to order anything.

Virgil was nervous. He had gotten lost on his way home, and was walking down to a cafe. He was hungry, after all. He looked at his phone, cringing at its dead battery. But he managed to smile. Today started off great, at least. Logan was.. his friend？Well, he seemed to begin to tolerate Virgil. And hes fine with that. He ordered a cup with a long list of ingredients. His own list of “Fuck me up” ingredients.

Logan didn't notice Virgil walking in. He had started dozing off in his seat when a waiter walked over, giving him a plate of eggs and toast. "It's on the house. You look like you could use it," they said with a smile as they left the table. They were right about that; Logan hadn't eaten all day. Logan glanced back over, guilt weighing down his shoulders as he began eating. He glanced over at his phone as he ate. The only reason it wasn't dead was because he was at the table with the outlet. That was basically His Table and both the visitors and staff knew this. Once Logan finished eating, he put his head atop his hand and began dozing off again. The poor kid hadn't slept well in ages.

The waitress did NOT look happy that Virgil had such a long list, but, he paid and ordered it, so she had to. When he asked for an outlet seat, he was pointed into Satan- I mean, Logans direction. “Oh, hi Logan.” Virgil said softly, holding his head phone.

Logan was partially asleep at the time, although he had trained himself to not fall asleep entirely, so when he heard his name he was immediately awake and alert. He put his arm down on the table as he looked at Virgil. "Hey," he said shortly, realizing that this was the kid from school, which meant school was over. Logan hadn't really been paying attention.

“Uh, Uhmm...” He felt really awakward.. Was there any other outlet booths？Logan looked like he would murder Virgil if he sat there.

Logan raised an eyebrow at Virgil, drumming his fingers against the table. Honestly, if there was anywhere that he was least likely to murder someone, it was that café. It was quite honestly the most comfortable place he had ever been in, and he wasn't about to throw that away by getting into a fight.

Virgil looked away. They say, if you look Logan in the eye, you’ll turn into stone. “Sorry. I’ll just take the bus.” Yes. The bus. That he has no.clue about. Tbh, If I were Virgil？I’d rather walk.

Logan stared at Virgil. What the hell was he talking about? "We don't have a bus." Did Virgil just move here? Also why was he talking about a bus inside a café? What the hell was his train of thought?

Transfer student. Yes, he did just move here. Thats.. Thats kinda why he wasnt as fearful of Logan. ”Oh.” He said simply. “Fu-”

Logan sighed in confusion as he looked away from Virgil, bringing up his hand again to set his head on and closing his eyes. He didn't have any sort of obligation to interact with Virgil, so if he wasn't going to actually say anything then Logan was going to try to stock up on light sleep.

“ck.” He sighed. He awkwardly shuffled into the booth, just wanting to charge his phone, man.

Logan opened his eyes again, having expected Virgil to just stand awkwardly or leave. He glanced at the coffee Virgil had as he sat down, reading the ingredient label. "That's incredibly unhealthy for you." Logan didn't know why he was starting conversation when he could be sleeping, but he was aware of how much Virgil's coffee could fuck someone up.

“Eh. Nobody really cares.” He took a sip, waiting for his phone to do him a favour and charge. One percent, and the most aggressive spam of messages blasts through his phone. “Oh. I’m popular today.” He muttered. Of course, his parents had guests today. They had to pretend they cared.

Logan watched the phone screen as the messages showed up on the screen. Honestly he was pretty surprised by the spam, he barely ever got any messages, and he definitely didn't remember the last time his mom texted him. She generally saved her barrage of harassment for when they were face-to-face. He genuinely didn't think whatever the messages were about could be good.

They werent. They were degrading messages about his intelligence. “Ah！My mom.. uh, says that.. I gotta go.. God, shes so kind.” He made a convincing act. “See you, Punk.” He gave him a pathethically weak smile. He had no way home. Sadness hours.

Logan didn't believe the act for a second. Everything he read on that screen were things he could practically hear his mother saying to him, and "kind" wasn't even the last word he'd use to describe her. Nonetheless, he understood the need to get home. Logan sighed at the smile. Honestly it was kind of sad. "You don't know where you're going, do you?" Logan asked, deadpan. Seeing how lost Virgil was in school, the entire town probably seemed like an actual maze to him.

Virgil flinched at the deadpan tone. “Ah, well, uhrm, yeah..” He muttered, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes. “I’ll find my way home, I dont need a gang member to escort me.” He muttered, a bit of a bitter tone in his voice. He doesnt know why he said that. Maybe to drive Logan away？But he adored Logan！Logan was so cool.. God damn, you stalker, stop thinking about him！ “...sorry.” He muttered, getting up.

Logan sighed and looked away. Gang member. Is that really how people saw him? He only meant to scare off jerks and bigots, and he honestly wanted to be supportive of basically anyone who got picked on or bullied. Apparently those people couldn't trust him either. He knew he couldn't be surprised though, nobody in their right mind would trust somebody who got so angry they had to punch a wall to feel just a little better. "Whatever," Logan muttered. "I just hope you know that everyone's gonna assume you're queer now." Logan jabbed a finger towards the pride flag sticker he had looked at on the way in.

The look of sheer terror as he saw the said flag was hilarious. He had tried his best to act like a straight guy. “I’m straight.” He mumbled. “Uhm, are you gay, Logan？”

Logan almost laughed at what was to him an obvious lie. Almost. "I think I'm as straight as you are." Straight as a rainbow, that is.

Virgil looked afraid. But then again, when hes with Logan... Wait. Beforehand, Virgil wasnt scared or worried. Aww！You turned someone who, rather blindly, trusted you, against you！But isnt that what you do best, Logan？

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roleplay #logan sanders #virgil sanders #punk logan #pastel virgil #tw fighting #tw swearing #tw violence #tw verbal abuse #tw emotional abuse #verbal abuse #emotional abuse #tw homophobia #TW panic attack

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transsteverandle · 7 years ago

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in honor of pride i wanted to reflect on some things about the outsiders, s. e. hinton, and lgbtq+ headcanons. this comes from personal opinions and experiences but i think they’re general enough to understand.

either way here’s my best try at this, there’s a lot of people who are or support the lgbtq+ in this fandom which that’s obvious by now and with that there’s a lot of headcanons. there’s a lot of headcanons of character being gay or trans in everything but the thing i’m trying get at is 1). this is a book set in the 60s where gays were being highly outcasted and worse. and yeah, the author got pissy about these headcanons (not say thats new) but that didn’t stop anyone. and 2). the book is about kids being outcasted for their social class where they didn’t have much of a choice being poor or anything and people rip on them about it at every turn. they can’t catch a break. (also note most gays were homeless or very poor at the time if they were out)

it’s very easy for a gay or questioning kid to see themselves and understand the struggles that ponyboy and others go through. i first read the book in 6th grade before i questioned anything but the story stayed with me through all these years because how much i can see myself in it. i knew a boy, justin, who said he really felt that line about ponyboy saying he didn’t like girls and maybe he never would. it made him feel a little more normal and valid. and guess what? he’s an open gay now and having had related to pony he could go “yeah i always saw the character as gay because how i saw himself in him” it was important to him that he saw himself in ponyboy the way he did. (side point which is why i think it’s important for authors to not take that away from a reader but that’s something for later)

anyways, it’s fitting in the sense that it’s easy see yourself as an outcast with the gang because you’re technically are or often feel to be one when queer. plus a lot of the movements happened during the late 60s and early 70s. stonewall, star house, masha p johnson, lots of marches. you get the idea.

i know a lot of what i’m saying feels obvious and that i’m just going on repeating myself but i really wanted say how important of a book the outsiders is to people, who are outcasted or beat up or looked down on or called names or just simply aren’t accepted for something they didn’t choose to be.

growing up knowing these characters and understanding their hardships of wanting to belong was and still is important to me and i’m positive many others feel the same way for more reasons than one.

and as for s. e. hinton i think her and many other authors are super out of line when they bash on harmless lgbtq headcanons. i’m not saying they have agree, like, or make them canon. however they don’t have be jerks on the matter either. it’s childish and gross. i’m just saying they don’t have control over how everybody views their works and shouldn’t force anyone to see their way.

s. e. hinton is a famous author with a critically acclaimed book with the literal message being that maybe the world would be less shitty and violent if everyone took the time to try to understand one another, particularly those they consider to be beneath them. the story follows a group that are outcasted but still have a right to be treated like people instead of dirt.

it’s not hard for kids growing up outcasted or such to see themselves as these characters and s. e. hinton shouldn’t be allowed to take that away from people who happen be gay or anything else for that matter.

i think the lgbtq+ headcanons are wonderful and are good for people to see themselves be represented even if it’s not canon. it’s makes them feel seen, heard, normal. at least that’s how i see it. the outsiders story is a great outlet to see ourselves in. it’s amazing to see so many different people recreate it to be about them when almost else is. i can’t even begin to find the words on how great and important and insightful it can be to me and hopefully others as well.

well, that’s about as much as i can think to say right now. i’ll probably say more when i get my thoughts in order. sorry if this was messy but i wanted put this out here and since it’s pride what’s a better time to bring this stuff into some light.

and of course this is an open discussion and please feel free to add it’s greatly appreciated!

#dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #cherry valance #johnny cade #darry curtis #the outsiders #lgbtq tag #queue it up #ash talks

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quicksilverconnoisseur · 7 years ago

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I've noticed something in the Quicksilver fics. Will told Hannibal that the only issue he has with pronouns is expectations of him that they create in others' minds. In Grant Us Peace, Bev says 'Will Graham is here for their appointment', despite thinking of Will as 'she'. And Hannibal refers to Will as 'they' to Mrs Komeda as well, even though he thinks of Will as 'he'. Your subtle portrayal of Hannibal and Bev's easy respect and acceptance of Will and who he is is absolutely phenomenal.

Thanks, anon!! I’m very very pleased that 1) you noticed (the selfish writer reaction) and 2) it resonated with you

I started writing this fic on a bit of a whim - I had no idea/plan to still be working on it a year (and more) later - but I always wanted it to be as respectful as possible and to show a non-binary/trans* identity in a positive light. And also - especially as it’s grown - perhaps to educate (myself and others) along the way a little bit.

It’s very important for me that the people closest to Will are seen to understand and respect his identity (also, in the case of Hannibal, to be intensely attracted to Will but not fetishising of his more feminine presentations). And, possibly even more important that this treatment of Will stems from Will himself - in a sense, Hannibal and Bev are simply following his lead. There’s a danger, especially in an age-difference pairing, that the older male ends up ‘explaining’ matters to the younger less-experienced half of the pairing (and, by extension, to the reader).

A little bit about me to give some context - I read a lot of fic while growing up and found having positive representations showing how things *could be* (i.e. happy loving gay relationships which were largely accepted) vastly preferable to the torturous coming out/gay-bashing h/c fics which were fairly popular at the time. Usually, I might hasten to add, obviously written by people who hadn’t experienced any of those things personally. So there was no way I wanted to be the cis writer writing an nb version of that kind of Tragic Queer trope - *especially* as things are far from easy in the real world right now and we all need space to imagine what a better reality might look like. I suppose what I’m saying is, I understand from personal experience why positive representation matters, and I’m trying to do my little bit to add to that.

This got a bit long and rambly but thanks for stopping by to let me know your thoughts - it means a lot

~weconqueratdawn

#answered #quicksilver!will #pronouns #weconqueratdawn rambles on about writing sorry

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ace-oppression · 5 years ago

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While I'm here, about the list at the top:

1. In a 2017 UK study of 108,000+ people, the community with the highest percentage of people who had been pushed toward, or into, conversion therapy, was aces. Not bi, pan, or gay/lesbian folks, whose rates ranged from 5.2-7.6%. Aces, who experienced this shit at a rate of 10.3%.

Aces faced as many threats of "physical or sexual harassment or violence" at work as gay, bi, and pan people did; only slightly less verbal harassment; and had the lowest percentage of people who didn't experience any kind of harassment, exclusion, assault, etc. at work.

In a 2015 study of 150,000+ American college and graduate students, aces and bisexuals consistently had the highest rates of harassment, stalking, nonconsensual touch, and assault.

I could go on. We face plenty of the same issues.

2. Every time aces and aros try to create positivity tags, culture tags, and other community spaces, the spaces are invaded by exclusionists harassing them. It has repeatedly gone as far as posting dead bodies or porn in the tags and sending them to people directly.

I would argue that the point of the overall community is that the different groups pool our resources and support each other, so more marginalized groups have more resources. But it rarely works like that anyway.

3. ...aces who are those things aren't LGBT, they're LGB, but anyway

4. This is true in the sense that we center those groups and ignore the higher rates of, for example, poverty and assault and suicidality in the bi, pan, and ace communities, and of medical abuse around gender and sexuality in the intersex community, and the incredibly higher rates of EVERYTHING for all people of color in the communitu.

But saying it proudly and loudly is like saying, "I'm an ignorant person who doesn't give a fuck about anybody who I don't already think is like me."

5. The fuck it does. oh my God, when will exclusionists stop repeating lies over and over trying to turn them into facts. I'll give fifty bucks to anyone who can find an organization that says the expanded acronym is lesbian, gay, bi, trans, nonbinary, questioning, and pansexual. This is just a fancy way of pretending that ANYONE has ever used "LGBTPN".

6. It was our community's word before the straights used it as a slur. They have a long history of using any word for us as a slur. The fact that something describes us automatically makes it an insult in their eyes.

Let's not pretend. You use LGBT if you want to make it clear that you only mean those four (technically three) groups. Or sometimes gay, as an umbrella term - which it isn't, and it's been very actively used as a slur for decades, and yet we're not supposed to avoid using it lest we accidentally call a trans woman gay or include somebody who was gay-bashed every day at school.

You use queer if you want to be inclusive. That's why people hate it. That's why terfs have been pushing back against the term for years, and why they write editorials on AfterEllen about it being bad for lesbians and whatever.

There's not a person out there who advocates against the word "queer" who isn't also trying to say that some group - usually some or all trans, bi, and pan people, along with aces and aros - doesn't belong.

7. This stuff about the roots of "pansexual" isn't true. People make the same claim about the term "bisexual" - that it has transphobic roots, because it implies that there are only two genders! People are just very eager to try to paint MGA people as transphobic, I guess.

Bi means you're attracted to more than one gender, which can include being attracted to all genders. The term pansexual arose in the 90s, when nonbinary genders started to become visible within the trans community. It was a way that some people indicated that they were open to those genders too.

There are no terms for sexual orientations that arose out of transphobia.

8. Agreed, weirdly.

9. mogai literally stands for marginalized orientations, genders, and intersex people. OP has made the lack of support for intersex people pretty clear, I guess (and: reminder that 75% of intersex people include intersex in LGBTQ+) but it seems pretty foolish to claim not to support marginalized genders and orientations.

I assume OP means something offensive like, "I support nonbinary people, as long as they only use the terms that I approve of." Because that's the kind of support we all need, amirite?

Oh, and again, the fuck it does. In this case: the fuck "nonbinary" only means agender and bigender people.

This entire part basically says, "There are more than two genders: there are also people who are both genders, or neither! (But anything that isn't basically still two genders is bullshit that I don't support.)"

Like I said: OP has really just written a pretty rainbow manifesto saying, "Aces, aros, and a lot of trans, bi, and pan people, don't belong." The trans, bi, and pan stuff is just slightly subtler.

10. Jesus, for a cis person, OP certainly wants to dictate a lot about how trans people are allowed to be.

11. Literally everyone agrees with this, jesus fucking christ. This isn't a discourse topic.

12. for someone who wants to punch terfs, op sure repeats a lot of the same talking points they do. aces aren't LGBT, these random sections of trans people aren't real, you shouldn't say "queer," the community is for same-gender attraction... the only big difference is that OP actually believes that half the trans community or so is real.

alright sisters allow me to clarify my stances on lgbt discourse!!!

Asexuals and Aromantics are valid, but they should NOT be lumped in with the LGBT community. The reason for this is because we do not face the same struggles as one another.

I think having an Asexual/Aromantic community that is seperate from the LGBT community is a great idea! That way, Asexuals get the inclusion and the ressources they deserve while not “invading” LGBT spaces.

Asexuals who are Homo/Bi/Panromantic ARE LGBT, but not for their asexuality (and vice-versa with Aromantics).

The LGBT community is for people who experience same gender attraction and/or are transgender.

The full acronym is LGBT, or LGBT+. The “+” stands for Pansexual, Questioning, and Non-Binary individuals.

The word “queer” was initially used as a slur towards gay people, and while some LGBT folks have reclaimed it, a lot of us (including me) are not comfortable with it. It’s better to say “The LGBT community” than “the Queer community”.

Pansexuals are LGBT+, since they experience same gender attraction, but it is undeniable that the roots of Pansexuality (people who say that being attracted to transgender people is being pansexual) are somewhat transphobic. (EDIT: No, Pansexuality is not transphobic in and of itself. The ROOTS of pansexuality are transphobic. Pan people aren’t inherently transphobic. You guys need to stop putting words in my mouth and saying that im saying that being pansexual equates to being a transphobe.)

The split-attraction model (ex. Aromantic Homosexual or Panromantic Bisexual) works for some people and doesn’t for others, but it ultimately isn’t harmful so let people use it if they want to.

There are more than two genders. Non-Binary is an umbrella term to describe Bigender and Agender people. Although i support non-binary people, i do NOT support MOGAI.

I try to get involved as little as possible in the dysphoria discourse, as i am cisgender and my opinion is irrelevant on the topic. However, i believe that you must experience some degree of dysphoria in order to be trans.

MAPs are pedophiles and are most certainly NOT LGBT+.

I will punch a TERF if i ever see one.

And that’s the tea for today, happy LGBT history month y’all!!

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ao3feed-aizawashouta · 5 years ago

Link

by Yranib_Non

“The Pen is Mightier then the Sword” — Edward Bulwer-Lytton

After experiencing the corruption and injustice of society first hand, Izuku reevaluates his concept of a ‘hero’, decides he doesn’t particularly want to be one according to modern societal standards and after not-so-accidentally stumbling upon a group of people who share his beliefs, formulates a plan to - diplomatically and non violently - change the world and the corrupt hero society for the better.

Words: 3904, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Midoriya Inko, Todoroki Shouto, Todoroki Shouto's Siblings, Todoroki Family (My Hero Academia), Todoroki Touya, Shinsou Hitoshi, Shinsou Hitoshi’s foster parents, Satoru Sho (original character), Satoru Chishiki (original character), Giran (My Hero Academia), League of Villains (My Hero Academia), Vanguard Action Squad (My Hero Academia), Dabi (My Hero Academia), Sensei | All For One, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kurogiri (My Hero Academia), Background & Cameo Characters, Original Characters, Toga Himiko, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia), Class 1-B (My Hero Academia), Hagakure Tooru, Hagakure Chikara (original character), Hagakure Shou (original character), Hagakure Henka (original character), Nedzu (My Hero Academia), Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, UA teachers - Character, I’m too lazy to list every kid in UA, Other Character Tags to Be Added, Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, Aizawa’s family, Yamada’s family, Saito (Boku no Hero Academia)

Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Shinsou Hitoshi/Todoroki Shouto, Minor or Background Relationship(s)

Additional Tags: Izuku distrusts All Might’s smile, i mean it’s way too bright to be genuine, he must be hiding something, Sassy Midoriya Izuku, Sarcastic Midoriya Izuku, Izuku doesn’t take Shigaraki’s crap, Smart Midoriya Izuku, he’s our little brainy boyo, inko is best mum, she genuinely worries about Izuku, Izuku May be a villain but he’s not evil, Villain Midoriya Izuku, Villain Todoroki Shouto, Villain Shinsou Hitoshi, Kinda, hes like a badass crime syndicate boss, #lets actually change this society without violence 2019, hero society is fucked, Excuse my French, the villains need hugs, give them love, they didn��t want this, Shigaraki just wants his dog back, Mild Spoilers, i guess, Everyone Is Gay, except the straight people, Izuku doesn’t want to hurt his mum, Whoops he can’t avoid it, strategist Midoriya Izuku, Traitor Midoriya Izuku, Traitor Todoroki Shouto, Spy Midoriya Izuku, kurogiri’s professional glass cleaning TM, kurogiri/cleaning, kurogiri/motherhood - Freeform, the author vents too much, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, todoshindeku is underrated, Everyone has their reasons, Fluff, Banter, gay banter, melon bread, incorrect use of Japanese food, Look I tried, yell at me if I need to correct something, everyone has their reasons even villains, i mean there is a reason they became villains, not all villains are villains if you know what I mean, too many tags, this should probably be crack, I mean, i have too much humour for it not to be, Humour, And sarcasm, its how I cover my insecurities, but have serious themes in there too, Crack Treated Seriously, Angst, Crack and Angst, oh yeah I fucked up the timeline, but that’s what timelines are for, amirite, dw I only messed around with the past timeline, everything else is more or less in order, except Dabi and Toga join early because I got confused, Borderline crack, i overuse the thesaurus, there will be words that I made up in there but don’t worry, they make sense in context, blatant misuse of the English language, and Japanese, adept meddling with the English language, Australian spelled words because I’m Australian deal with it, do excuse my OCD, Midoriya Izuku is a Little Shit, the rooftop discussion happened at the beginning of middle school for Izuku, It was the only way I could make it work, I needed time for Izuku to become a villain before UA, like years, Villain Hagakure Tooru, She’s a freelance criminal, her whole family is, they do cool invisible things, crime boss Shinsou, code names, because I needed to use the name Akatani Mikumo, ... for personal reasons, A wee bit of Bakugou bashing, but only because he was kinda a dick in middle school, also hero bashing, in general, Midoriya is a sneaky lil bitch, maybe add more tags later, Trans Female Character, Trans Hagakure Tooru

#aizawa shouta #aizawa shota #eraserhead #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #fanfic

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karlyhokes · 7 years ago

Text

Same Love

SEXUALITY & COMING OUT: 1. How do you define your sexuality? Bisexual 2. What pronouns do you use to identify yourself? Outgoing 3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls? 16

4. At what age did you come to terms with your sexuality? 21 5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization? Gradual realazation 6. How did your sexuality make you feel before you came out? Scared 7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality? Having a girlfriend go through everything with me & to have family friends who loved me regardless of my sexuality. 8. At what age did you first come out? 19 9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it? Technically my mom and she was hurt at first and probably cried but now she’s whatever lol. 10. Do your parents know about your sexuality? Yes they do… they were the first to know 11. How out are you? I am engaged to a girl 12. Do you now identify as something different than when you first came out? NO 13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know? No everyone was surprised but they were happy because they were tired of me being with guys who were running me crazy instead of loving me for me. 14. Has coming out lost you any friends? Yes… My best friend Kalie – I swear we aren’t friends because she felt like we had nothing in common since I would tell her about guys choking her while having sex wasn’t because I was with a girl bc I would tell her the same advice when I was single and sexing boys. Disrespect is disrespect idc who I am dating who what I believe. It sucked but life goes on. 15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality? When they ask for my number or to hang out. If it’s a girl I tell them when we start getting to know one another. Or if we are in public I introduce myself and then I introduce my fiancé shelby 16. How difficult do you find it to sympathize with straight women? It’s not difficult because I was once that girl and we still think like women. 17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight? No I love who I am 18. Agree or disagree: Everyone is at least a little bit gay. Females I agree 19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls? I am 100% attracted to Shelby other women I would say 40%. 20. Do you think it is possible to be a true 50/50 bisexual, or is the percentage always skewed towards one gender? I feel like you can be 50/50 but I only want Shelby at all times. 21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl? Never 22. How accurate is your gaydar? I am usually right

RELATIONSHIPS & DATING: 23. What is your current relationship status? Engaged 24. What is the longest relationship you’ve been in? Are you still with that person? We are working toward 3 years and yessss I am happily with her.. 25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl? I have peked a girl before but really kissed a girl only once which was with my fiancé and it was magical. 26. Are you a virgin? If not, what gender did you lose your virginity to? To both sexes and No I am not 27. What is your ideal first date? Romantic and thought out 28. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Outgoing 29. How flirty are you? I am kind of a flirter from time to time 30. Would you ever want to get married, if not already? Yes to the one I love 31 Do you want have children someday? Yes I want to have 2 and Shelby have 1 or 2 and us adopt 1. Which will give us a odd number so I will or Shelby will have to have another child to have a even number. 32. Would you ever want to give birth? Yes 33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend? All the time 34. Have you ever liked or dated a girl with the same name as you? Karlisha is a rare name soooo no 35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend? Yes we use to be all the time. 36. Have you and a girlfriend ever been mistaken for sisters? Yes in the Dominican republic 37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes when Shelby left for Luxemburg Germany 38. Have you ever dated a guy? Not really just sexed them 39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you? No 40. Has another girl ever hit on you? OMG yes 41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl? NO 42. Have you ever had a crush on a woman who’s significantly older than you? Yes 43. Would you ever date a trans woman? Idk 44. Have you ever had a profile on a LGBT dating website or app? NO 45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover? College that’s where I met mine 46. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? Not really but I know Shelby is so I try to be from time to time.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: 47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to? Shortest I have had my hair is to my shoulders 48. Is your nose pierced? Use to be when I was in high school, I did it myself. 49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings? Idk if a person have them I wouldn’t date them and I would never have it for myself. 50. Do you have any tattoos? If so, of what and where? no 51. How muscular are you? Very 52. Are you or have you ever been a tomboy? Yes when I was younger 53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay? Yes all the time 54. Have you ever been mistaken as a dude? NO

FASHION STYLE: 55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often? All the time 56. Do you wear high heels? If so, how often?Yes I have the on now 57. How much jewelry do you typically wear? A lot I love Jewelry 58. How much makeup do you typically wear? Mascara, eyeshadow, and sometime Foundation but not much. I usually wear it once a week, if that. 59. How often do you wear a bra? Every day 60. How often do you wear flannel? Once a month if that 61. Have you ever worn a suit? no 62. Do you wear any shoes such as combat boots, Doc Martins or Timberlands? no 63. Do you carry a purse? Yes I love my purses 64. Do you wear any hats such as snapbacks or beanies? no 65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing? Yes when I had to sneak in the dorm with Alex Standford 66. Have you ever dressed in complete drag? No I am a girl 67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend? Yes I have 68. If you want to get married, do you think you will wear a dress? Most definitely.

ENTERTAINMENT: 69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity? Queen Latifa 70. Have you ever watched The L Word? Yes lol 71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace? No 72. Have you ever watched RuPaul’s Drag Race? No 73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television? Very good specially in Grey’s anatomy 74. Do you listen to any LGBT musicians (i.e. Tegan & Sara, Melissa Etheridge, Chely Wright, Elton John, Sam smith, George Michael, Adam Lambert)? Sam Smith 75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers? Yes 76. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed movie? Yes 77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website? no 78. Do you read any LGBT magazines? no 79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations? NO 80. Is there such a thing as “good” lesbian porn? Yes some.

THIS OR THAT: 81. Boobs or butts? Boobds 82. Beer or wine? Wine 83. Ellen or Portia? Ellen

BEING (SOMEWHAT) RANDOM: 84. How much do you like cats? Hate them 85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club? NO 86. How many LGBT friends do you have? NONE 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives? Yes 88. Have you ever used any words (or variations of) such as lesbian, queer, gay, or homosexual as a password? Yes 89. How outdoorsy are you? Not really I try 90. Have you ever driven an SUV, Jeep, or pickup truck? Yes 91. How many rainbow items do you own? NONE 92. Have you ever celebrated National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11)? OMG Yes 93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence? NO 94. Have you ever attended a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) type of club?no 95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?didnt know they had that 96. Have you ever attended a gay or lesbian wedding? NOT yet but I will have my own in a few years 97. Have you ever been part of a softball team? no 98. Do you skateboard or longboard at all? no 99. Do you play any video games? Yes

FROM 1-10, HOW ATTRACTIVE ARE: 100. Muscular women? 5 101. Women who wear glasses? 5 102. Women who are covered with tattoos? 8 103. Women who are covered with piercings? It depends.. Nipples 10… Other things that are ugly 2 104. Curvy/plus-sized women? 2 105. Women with short hair? 6 106. Highly intelligent women? 10 107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)? OH yessssss huge turn on 10 108. Masculine/butch women? 4

GETTING SERIOUS: 109. What does equality mean to you? All people are equal no matter of sexuality, color, or anything 110. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes 111. Do you eat meat at all? yes 112. Are you religious at all? yes 113. Did you vote for Hillary Clinton? yes 114. How do you feel when platonic female friends refer to each other as girlfriends? Oh I don’t care 115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic? OH I don’t care 116. Are you comfortable with terms such as lezzie, lesbo, dyke, homo, or tranny? I wouldn’t use them but others who effing cares 117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use? A bathroom has so many germs I have more things to worry about such as wiping my toilet idc who uses what bathroom. I don’t have gender issues but I have used the mens bathroom because the womens bathroom was full. 118. Do you have any opinions on LGBT people in the military? I salute them because they have fought for our country just like the straight people. 119. Have you ever been called a gay slur? no 120. Have you ever been queer bashed? no 121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain. Yes by friends, jobs, everything and honestly idc. 122. Does it really get better? I think it only gets better based on what you decide to participate in and what you allow to bother you. If you keep your head up then its not going to bother you as bad as people who continue to allow the haters to hate and continue to move forward in their career. 123. How did you feel on June 26, 2015? OMG thankful. We love you OBAMA 124. How accepting of LGBT people is the city/community you live in?

It’s coming around but people still look, they stare they turn around and make comments and I am like Eff you IDGAF anymore 125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”? Yes I have 126. How annoyed are you with how heteronormative society is? It’s annoying. I hate the question, tell me about being gay uhhhh how about you tell me about being straight.? Like wtf why do people ask that damn question. Or since you are Gay do you still think guys are cute or do you find me attractive as your friend? UH no! I don’t like you. I like my partner we can still be friends but I see we can’t because you aren’t confident in your own body that you can’t hang out with 1 gay girl or bisexual;. It’s so annoying 127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with? Since you are LGBT that you are weird or that you aren’t a religious person that’s not true AT ALL! Also, I hate when they say, oh you must like all women or all men uhhh do I like all women or men if I was straight? Do you? Okay then STFU!! 128. Is there anything about the LGBT community that you wish you knew before coming out? Nope I love it. I don’t like Pride because I feel like that’s how we get disrespected since people run out but overall I love everything about my life. 129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality? Take your time, but don’t change for NO ONE!!! Be your own happiness and love yourself more then anyone else will love you… Ignore the comments and focus on the good!!! Also stay a great person and keep your head up! 130. What advice would you give yo a girl who is struggling to come out?

Bite the bullet and just take the jump and come out in a way you are comfortable. If you continue to hide you are still lying. Lying to your family, friends and most importantly to yourself. Be respectful and give your family and friends time to gather themselves but always be true to yourself because out of all people YOU deserve that.

Love is patient, love is kind – I am not crying on Sundays!!! Same Love - Macklemore <3

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sumofmanythings · 8 years ago

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Must We Always Take the Blame? (Toxic Masculinity and Violence)

Easter Sunday a man by the name of Steve Stephens murdered Robert Godwin, Sr., live on Facebook. This murderer randomly targeted Mr. Godwin and made him say the name of a woman who we later discovered was his ex, before shooting him dead. The entire act was shown live on a now deleted Facebook video. This man, who ironically works as a case manager with a children’s behavioral health agency, went on a rant and proceeded to blame his ex for his actions. His ex is in protective custody and committed suicide this morning. Many people ponder why someone would do such a heinous act. Many believe he is mentally ill but I’m just not buying it. To make matters even worse, there are quite a few who blame his ex-girlfriend. I cannot tell you how disgusted I have been reading the comments on social media. It’s easier to blame this on a mental illness than address the elephant in the room.

Toxic Masculinity…

Toxic masculinity is the socially constructed and widely disseminated perception of men as dominant, violent, and controlling of the feminine. This type of masculinity sets men up to hate women, fear the LGBTQ community, and harbor an especially violent and vehement hatred for Trans women and gay men of color. The prevalence of toxic masculinity does not imply that all men are inherently violent. In fact it suggests the opposite: that men (or anyone of any other gender) are inherently neutral, and social and cultural conditioning creates violent men. This version of masculinity is unemotional, sexually aggressive, and heterosexual by default. As Amanda Marcotte writes, "it is a specific model of manhood geared toward dominance and control." It is everywhere we look, yet it is rarely named or explicitly discussed as cause for our social ills. Toxic masculinity is closely tied to rape culture, homophobia, gun violence, and domestic abuse. – Emily Price (Toxic Masculinity: Why aren’t we talking about this epidemic and its role in violent crimes? Xojane.com 6.24.2016)

These are just a few of the women murdered at the hands of ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands in the past few months. Just last week in Chicago, a judge was murdered and it was revealed today that his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend is being charged. According to reports, the suspect stalked the girlfriend for several weeks before the attack.

CALL A THING A THING…

"This toxic idea of masculinity, therefore, pressures men to view women as inferior, perceive sex as an act of conquest, and see violence as a way to establish dominance over others. Toxic masculinity isn’t only harmful because it condones only one way for men to behave; it also contributes to domestic violence by leading men to believe that they must establish dominance over women, and that they can do so through violence. Toxic masculinity hurts male domestic violence survivors as well. When men experience domestic violence, they often face very little support and resources. Toxic masculinity keeps men in perpetual fear that they might seem soft, weak, or emotional. It stigmatizes men who cry, denigrates men as “pussies” if they show emotion, and teaches men from a young age that it’s not manly to show weakness. As a result, male survivors of domestic violence are unlikely to report their assault, and even if they do report, they are often not taken seriously by the authorities—especially if the perpetrator was a woman. In this way, both men and women can be victims of domestic violence, and both men and women are hurt by unrealistic and violent standards of masculinity" -- The Harvard Crimson 9/22/2016

There is a pattern in this case that doesn’t involve mental illness; it involves men who are narcissistic and driven by a deep hatred for women and the need to control them. It is the mindset of an abuser and a predator. According to domesticviolence.org, there are several common characteristics among batters, they are controlling, manipulative, often see themselves as victims and believe that men have a pre-ordained right to be in charge of all aspects of a relationship. It’s all about power and control and it’s not always physical. Batterers use sexual abuse, verbal abuse, psychological and emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, economic abuse and social abuse to control the people they are in relationship with. Domestic violence happens frequently with 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men who have been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner. Over 1500 women are killed each year by husbands or boyfriends. The consequences of leaving an abusive partner can be deadly. Those are alarming numbers!!! For those who survive, they often live a life of fear, constantly wondering if they are being stalked or wondering if they will ever be truly safe. The court system offers little to no comfort, as abusers frequently ignore orders of protection. Abusers are rarely penalized for their actions because society looks at domestic violence as a personal issue. In addition, many do not understand how a person could allow someone to manipulate and control them in that manner. So instead of compassion, there is plenty of judgement and disdain for victims of abuse.

We let abusers off the hook and blame their victims instead.

"Abuse is not an accident. It doesn’t happen because someone was stressed out, drinking or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a relationship to control the other. Abusers have learned to abuse so they get what they want. It may be physical, sexual, emotional and psychological. They often have low self-esteem and do not take responsibility for their actions, frequently blaming the victim for causing the violence." -- Domesticviolence.org

A Culture of Victim Shaming

Chris Brown beats Rihanna and I see meme’s cracking jokes about it and then the slew of questions like, “well what did she do to make him so upset”? Evelyn Lozada gets head-butted by Chad Ochocinco and the victim blaming continues, “well she fights with women on that show, so you know…Karma?”, Columbus Short and his now ex-wife have a domestic incident and celebrities such as D.L. Hughley slam her for “messing up his money and putting their business out in the street”. Floyd Mayweather serves time for domestic abuse then “slut shames” his ex on social media posting information about her abortion and we laugh about it. The first video of Ray Rice dragging his now wife out of an elevator unconscious had folks like Stephen Smith say women should be careful not to provoke a man to attacking her. Solonge attacks Jay Z and men and women mock him for being a punk for not hitting her back? Ceelo green tweets comments about rape saying is it rape a woman can’t remember? Sandra Bland is murdered and people question why she felt the need to “speak up” to police. Now this, a man has murdered another human being and I see “She should have just called him” or “she should have slept with him”.

Seriously?

I’ve seen some of the most ignorant statements regarding the horrific murder of Robert Godwin, Sr., but none more disturbing than the idea that somehow his girlfriend could have stopped this crime from occurring simply by “calling him” or “giving him some”. When dealing with an abusive individual, there is no pleasing them. You can do everything they ask and still find yourself in harm’s way. Abuse is the act of controlling another person and exercising power over them and it doesn’t stop when you “do what they want”. I know from experience. I spent 10 years of my life walking on eggshells, trying to be the “perfect wife” for someone who sought to silence and control me. Even when I left, it didn’t end. The threats, the intimidation, and the manipulation continued. Quite honestly, 8 years later, I still deal with this. My life has never been the same. This is my “new normal”. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think he may “pop up” or “reappear”. They (abusers) act like their actions are acts of love but they only want you to return so they can control and manipulate you again. It’s never about wanting you; it’s about the desire to control another person’s life. The idea that this woman could have prevented anything is absolutely insane and ignorant. The fact that this murder specifically said, “Say her name because she is the reason this is happening to you” lets me know that this man was completely sound in his decision. It’s an ultimate act of manipulation; he wants her to think that this is all her fault and that she made him do this. In his final act of manipulation and control, he leaves his girlfriend with the lasting idea that, ALL OF THIS WAS HER FAULT! It's the ultimate act of cowardice from the mind of a narcissist. The fact that there are men and women who actually perpetuate this ridiculous idea is disgusting! He made a conscious decision to end an innocent man’s life because he lost control and power. HE DID THIS! NO ONE ELSE IS TO BLAME!

When does it end?

When do we deserve the right to exist as we are and be looked at with some humanity? Where arethe men defending our right not to be hit, our right not to beaten, our right not to have our bodies violated against our will, our right not to be violated and publically humiliated? Why are we telling our daughters, how not to get raped or abused (as if there is such a thing) instead of teaching our sons to not rape and not abuse? Why are we constantly telling women how emotional we are instead of teaching men how to manage their emotions? WHERE ARE YOU? When did it become the norm to blame the victims instead of the perpetrators? The current trend of “victim bashing” pushes more and more victims in the closet to suffer in silence. Victim Shaming takes the focus away from the real problem…the abuser.

We really need to do better. It’s time to address the idea that toxic masculinity and violence are deeply related. That’s the real issue we should be discussing. Victims of abuse of any kind aren’t ripping the hearts from family’s across this county, Toxic Masculinity is, and if we don’t teach our sons and change our mindsets about what being a man is all about, this horrific cycle will continue and more lives will be forever changed for the worse.

It’s time to deal with the real….TOXIC MASCULINITY CAN BE DEADLY.

Until next time,

Take care of yourselves and one another

D. Sanders

#feminist #toxic masculinity #violence #domestic violence #Black Women

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mightbedamian · 8 years ago

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#TMIishTuesday #54 - YouTube stop censoring us!

Hey, If you follow an LGBTQ+ YouTuber on Twitter, you're probably aware of this, but I can't stress it enough: What YouTube are doing with their "restricted mode" is plain censorship! Here's why. Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #54 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my weird mind and on what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. // Last week��I told you about my slightly crazy hair adventures and how they came about. Btw, I had school this week as well. One class mate is obsessed with my hair! She calls me "green hair" now, haha. The rest of my class mates don't really seem to mind. No positive, no negative feedback. Just: "What? You really did it?"- Hell yeah, I did! Surprisingly, most of my teachers like it as well. And not a single negative comment on that as well (although I'm 99 % sure my Politics teachers doesn't like it :D). Anyway, if you're curious how I look (with turquoise hair), click the link above. // Back to business: YouTube, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? But okay, first things first: What is YouTube's "restricted mode"? You could call it a "family filter". It is meant to make YouTube a place that is safe for minors. It's basically Google's try to make sure parents don't freak out because "OH MY GOD! THERE ARE SO MANY VIDEOS ON THERE!" and telling them: We got your back! Probably a good majority of family filters look for certain key words in the articles, websites, or videos that they scan - and those media that use these keywords, are banned from viewing. It's how censorship in authoritarian countries works as well. So far, so not-worrying. Good intention, YouTube! There is some sh*t on your platform that, indeed, minors should not view. *cough* Sam Pepper *cough* ItsMert *cough* Leon Machére *cough* Sorry, I'm still battling the cold. It's just not getting better! *wink* Long story short: I don't know if videos of those three channels are blocked in restricted mode (and I don't want to check. I don't want to give them even more doubtful fame). What I do know is that most videos revolving around LGBTQ+ issues are blocked. And that is just shocking! It seems that once you mention the words "gay", "lesbian" or "trans" in your video title, it won't show in restricted mode. But that's not all. Even videos that have NOTHING to do with sexuality, gender, or anything along those lines, simply get blocked in restricted mode. Tell me, YouTube: Why is a video titled "My Tattoo: I was bitten by a tiger" blocked, why a "most likely to" video by two guys, why is barely any "My Drunk Kitchen" episode viewable when Hannah barely talks about drinking - and never gets drunk. May it be because these people are gay, bi, or lesbian? YouTube, you have a whole lot of explaining to do! Oh, and why are entire channels basically blacked out? Check out Calum McSwiggan's channel in restricted mode: There's 1 - in words: ONE - video left. At least it's for a good cause: When he shaved his head in benefit of StandUpToCancer. Why, on the other hand, are there other LGBTQ+ creators that have barely any videos taken down? Why do you even think that videos on the pros and cons of the different types of top surgery, the thoughts of a trans guy before surgery and after, and the outcome of the surgery, is "potentially inappropriate content"? HOW ON EARTH could informative videos on top surgery featuring totally non-biased opinions be "potentially inappropriate content"? And why is "cross-dressing" allowed, but hangover morning thoughts, that are not at all about the hangover, are not? Why is a video titled "coming out at the scouts" perfectly fine, when most other coming out videos are not? And why is a video introducing a person on a channel titled "on party tour with the camera" blocked? Why is a video on greygender fine - and one on pronouns, while other videos on different LGBTQ+ spectrums and a discussion on how many genders there are, are not? Okay, I could name way more examples of great LGBTQ+ content creators. But I want to mention one more video: levlognog's lovely anti-hate video as a reaction to KsFreak's video "I don't want to be gay". I don't remember what exactly had happened to KsFreak and one of his friends, but in the end they pretended to be gay-married to get out of some trouble. And KsFreak made a video about that, stating how strange that felt and that he really didn't like being seen as gay and basically BASHED gays. No one seemed to notice. No YouTubers. Except levlognog. He made a very friendly, very open video about his opinion, stating that he thought KsFreak's video was offensive as hell and spoke out about the inequality in society. Take-away from his video: Be friendly. Don't judge. And don't tell others off for being themselves. This video - which, again, by no means is offensive or anything - is not viewable in restricted mode. WTF, YouTube!? What the actual f!? You better fix this! ASAP! And I don't speak out about this because I have a loss from this. I don't use restricted mode, I can view whatever content I want. But: Those, who need information on LGBTQ+ issues the most, are kids. Teenagers, who battle with their anxiety and feel that what they feel is not right. Kids, who are trans, gay, lesbian, bi, pan, etc. What these people need most is recognition. Recognition that what they are feeling is natural. That what they are feeling is nothing to be ashamed of. That what they are feeling is totally valid. In 2017 the number 1 source for teens to look for information - especially for info on topics that they haven't figured out for themselves completely and therefore would want to hide from anyone else for the moment - the number 1 source for teens to look for such information is the internet. With the second largest search engine of the internet blocking that content, that these people are so desperately looking for, we are ruining our hard-fought-for freedom of speech. We are ruining the achievements of heroes, who have battled those, who were fighting against equality. We are basically ruining our future! YouTube, STOP beta-testing in real time! You've done it so many times before. And it never worked! Don't mess around with topics like this! How do I end this? Is there even a good way to end this post? I don't know. Maybe with a shocking number: 56.3. That's the percentage of the latest videos on the LGBTQ+ channels that is blocked in restricted mode. 184 of the 327 videos blocked*. Think about that! *taking into account the last 15 uploaded of each of the 22 channels run by LGBTQ+ people that i’m subscribed to.

Before I go let me know your thoughts on YouTube's restricted mode. Do you agree with me or do I make too much of a deal of it? Tell me, I wanna know! Place a comment, tweet me, dm me, or do anything else you can think of to get to me. This week's post basically was a Queer Shoutout in itself. Hence, I will go ahead and link you all the amazing LGBTQ+ YouTubers I'm currently subscribed to (in order of me subscribing to them): - manniac (gay, German) - Troye Sivan (gay, Australian) - Ricky Dillon (asexual, American) - Connor Franta (gay, American) - Tyler Oakley (gay, American) - ItsColeslaw (bi, German) - Hannah Hart (lesbian, American) - Troye Sivan VEVO (see above) - Miles (trans man, American) - Chandler (trans man, American) - Stephan Jonas (gay, German) - Calum McSwiggan (gay, British) - Kalem Johnson (trans man, American) - Nick Camryn (trans man, American) - Ash Hardell (pan, American) - Sam Collins (trans man, American) - PrideTV (gay, German) - Weird Norwegian (gay, Norwegian) - Courtney-Jai (bi, British) - Alex Bertie (trans man, British) - anyway.tv (channel run by an LGBTQ+ community centre in Cologne, Germany)

Check them out, they are all amazing! As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Until then: Stay mighty! (And this time for real! Show your claws!) Linkage: - Calum McSwiggan - “My Tattoo: I was bitten by a tiger: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEK9xU2Uar4 - Weird Norwegian - “”Most Likely To” with Calum McSwiggan”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPG74ToU9x4 - Hannah Hart - My Drunk Kitchen playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk96M05hJx8&list=PL2EC7F45DBD9D9B1A - Calum McSwiggan: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6pzgnZ75lEnsOCLi64Vx2g - Calum McSwiggan - “Stand Up To Cancer”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQz-sV0O_ME - TheRealAlexBertie - “Surgery Worries & Hopes”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMX4MhHBI1c - Sam Gillard for Ten Eighty magazine - “YouTube’s Restricted Mode Limiting LGBTQ+ Visibility”: http://teneightymagazine.com/2017/03/19/youtubes-restricted-mode-limiting-lgbtq-visibility/ - Connor Franta - “that time i wore a dress”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MepNVZrG2m0 - Connor Franta - “This Morning’s Hangover Thoughts”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgXxfe9CiKE - anyway.tv - “Coming-out bei den Pfadpfindern”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEtm6bTVdy4 - anyway.tv - “Mit der Kamera auf Partytour”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSXs9sg3Grk - Ash Hardell - “What’s...Greygender??? (ABC’s of LGBT+)”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Amt3YOkNes - Ash Hardell - “All About Pronouns (Abc’s of LGBT+)”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NcMV5dsmgI - Ash Hardell - “Gender Fucks and Confusions (ABC’s of LGBT+”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqO34uI4rwg - Ash Hardell - “Only Two Genders!”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsRu5EZO2hI - levlognog - “Ich will nicht schwul sein! |KsFreak’s schlimmstes Video”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp_KXuLVKQc Queer Shoutout: - manniac: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPFpU588dagQfGyrDuTpSzA - Troye Sivan: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWcrr8Q9INGNp-PTCLTzc8Q - Ricky Dillon: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBxs6sUSOJ3UUATAi4rp30w - Connor Franta: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCudeRz9YntRrmKBSqnHyKGQ - Tyler Oakley: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvVuqRzGVqRlmZYlTf99M_w - ItsColeslaw: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtB4Win87uHQ20iv52ZGRkQ - Hannah Hart: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJQL1Fai-9GlVunsbP4x8Pg - Troye Sivan VEVO: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnsa7fw1hZHP5qvf8zVGnvA - Miles: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7XFgbOyFBoGxssEwGvkKig - Chandler: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3HxTGAxX3Ej4Bqf8LDpRtg - Stephan Jonas: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpa3q7uuPjX7Dt9hmym_hwQ - Calum McSwiggan: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6pzgnZ75lEnsOCLi64Vx2g - Kalem Johnson: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCor-W_j3STNWc6RuiS3d5Bg - Nick Camryn: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJeMIfDZeEAMX9poCvD1-zA - Ash Hardell: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXwXB7a3cq9AERiWF4-dK9g - Sam Collins: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCySTKqYThqBbKdEtzOjFhgg - PrideTV: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCti8U9-VbM3_pPoUsgSqYDg - Weird Norwegian: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF6M_dgiPcK8zrLRUuLeUsg - Courtney-Jai: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy2xH40m75qpAoQb7unJTRw - Alex Bertie: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXX0iCrVQnlNvGW4gKEhHdA - anyway.tv: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_AwdVD7Hw1pjDovmAr-NHg Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/158402870513/tmiishtuesday-53-i-dyed-my-hair - All #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - More #TMIishTuesdays on LGBTQ+ topics: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/lgbtqplus - More #TMIishTuesday on YouTube topics: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/mightbeyoutube - More very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com

#tmi #lgbtqplus #mightbeyoutube

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saintorr · 8 years ago

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“Gentrification Genocide” Three scenes (as to be published in R. Roth’s “And Then” 2018)

I. Having survived AIDS, a gay-bashing, 9-11, Sandy and an endless stream of trickster, horny-queens posing as no-show clients, I reflect; will this latest wave of too-close-for-comfort gentrification be my own, personal, genocidal Swan Song? Tonight, while riding my bike like a crazed, clowning pterodactyl, I found myself breathily imitating the sound of a very feminized bicycle bell. “Ding-ding” one moment, and the next, screaming like a crazed banshee at a female pedestrian dressed in black as she is mindlessly stepping directly into my on-coming path. My crazed battle-cry makes her stop bunglingly in her tracks; her oral addiction to her mobile device unforgivingly interrupted. Indignantly, she screams “Oh my God!” in a belting, bleating voice tinged with a Valley-girl accent. This happens just off 7th Street and First Avenue. I pedal on gleefully, half ashamed for my acting out, and half empowered and self-congratulatory for my anarchistic, bad-boy tendencies. I’m hoping and praying that maybe, said jay-walker is one of the new billionaire zombies inhabiting the crystal cardboard and colorless tag-team duo of buildings that went on the market last fall. They are located on Avenue A between 6th and 7th Streets; or perhaps she's a new resident of the renovated and reconverted Shul just four doors west of my man cave. Oh, you know, that confusing condo-synagogue; that half place-of-worship, half billionaire-broken-hearted-haunt of the ghost of the big Rabbi; the one survived by his swarmy, conniving, snake-eyed son, also named Sandy.

II. In the morning, do not fear, I tell myself, for those monstrous explosions are merely the renovation of the deceased artist De Maria’s former studio. Semi-formerly a Con-Ed substation, the building is currently being magically and noisily transformed into a private museum for one Mr. Brant, the new billionaire owner. Ordinary neighborhood citizens will not be allowed access to the beatific garden growing between 421 East 6th Street, and cutting straight through to East 7th, like a slender, cold, fish knife slicing through a newborn babe’s beating heart, nor will they be allowed into the private storage space where priceless, modern (and most-likely insipid) works of art will be hidden away. Here will be housed Brant’s sacred treasures of the inner sanctum; here in this great, tall, glass-walled chapel of a structure, art will dwell. Rich man’s art, available only for private viewing to the coterie of fellow billionaires, stars and their kingly cronies. Cannibalize yourselves, you lowly 99%, suffer the noise! Let the new money frighten away the former spirit guides and the friendly semi-wild gypsy cats that once played, sang and danced along and in between these semi-lit row houses of tenements, filled with the ghosts of beer and dreams and young strains of fading songwriters’ guitars and falling-in-love-with-the-moonbeam-dreams and rainy-days-and-Sundays of East Village hungry-hearts and shadow leather lovers. Monsieur Brant wanted a location and tax-write off that was “creative”, so here we are! Oh you poor 99%, you starving nothings, yes, you may die of noise, entitlement and achingly tight ass-holeism when the chic parties start and the drones and the helicopters and the limousines start arriving with darling, parasitic models and the zombie-hungry, spoiled-cool, hipster billionaires and their cold, cold parents but oh! Just look how your property values are increasing!

With every chiseled BOOM BOOM of chards detaching and jagged, dusty, broken bricks flinging, the work crew of flying monkeys is tossing all, all into the the BOOMING maw of the dumpster from hell (it must be half a block wide). Then comes the skeletal, fire-cracking, whacking-snapping chorus of never-ending jackhammers (often five at once), for this is a war of money over time, fought, won and played out by short, trollish billionaires with crooked smiles and hawk-like noses. For WE THE PEOPLE are obsolete and irrelevant; WE THE PEOPLE are little better than charming old engines, White slave labor, memories of America’s fragmented, shrunken middle class; now addicted to crack, Walmart, Nikes and digitized Disney dreams of “Searching for Dory”. WE THE PEOPLE are better forgotten, better disposed of, better buried by the Trumps, so the young, rich litters of billionaire spawn can play here anew, can fling themselves into their endless selfie-cesspools of Chai lattes, tropical banana and protein powder smoothies, funny French black bulldogs named Lucy and lovely, decadent, divinely narcissistic empty and burning consumeristic dreams of pretension and nothingness. In short, WE THE PEOPLE are poor, inconsequential, invisible and don’t matter.

III. As a matter of fact, Medicaid was specifically created to hasten us to an early grave. Those of us that weren’t exterminated by the first or second waves of gentrification genocide will surely spill into the trenches or be forced to emigrate now with this new third and greatest wave. Someone once said “We don’t know how good we have it.” “We don’t’ know how good we have it” I repeat as I am having a nervous breakdown trying to make an appointment, trying to get a referral from my (formerly organized, now Trans-dystopian) community healthcare clinic where only Trans people now matter; for, besides the billionaires, they are also the new co-masters-of-the-race, everyone else is irrelevant. I’m trying to make an appointment, for this back pain’s made every other step excruciating for three months now, all through the holidays (the wine helped, sometimes the sex). “No, Goddammit I don’t NEED ESTROGEN! FUCK YOUR ESTROGEN AND YOUR PHONE MENU AND YOUR INSTRUCTIONS TO CALL 9-1-1 IF THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY!” One of the patient associates who handles referrals, Martino, a vicious, little queen with bitchy glee is quoting too-fast and meaningless policies at me like cream pies. The next confusing day (nervous breakdown number two due to my inane, continuing efforts to make an appointment hoping for an end to my seemingly endless saga of back pain) I am connected with a manager named Stephanie. Is cisgen, transgen genderqueer, genderfluid, or something else? Dare I ask and be reported for inappropriate behavior? Stephanie pulls no punches and begins to attack and berate me for my wholly unfriendly, hostile, and homophobic language, for I made the mistake of referring to the "vicious queen? of yesterday’s quoting policies-to-me-episode. “This is Callen Lorde” she proclaims, like a punitive, fixed, female, pit-bull cop, “You should know better!” Her raw, neuter, Bougie-Bitch delivery strips me bare, exposing me for all the bisexual silliness and tendencies toward anarchistic prostitution and polymorphously, pleasure-seeking perversity that I am; that I inhabit and display, for this is the magical stuff that makes me me. Imagine her, lambasting my essence! I have an allergy to anyone that coldly ignores and debases men only for being men. Why do some females act like raging amazon warriors slicing through the air, waving their clitorises like sharpened bayonets; so ready with a threat or an admonishment over any microscopic drop of incorrect language or innuendo that happens to ejaculate, albeit casually, from any MAN’S mouth merely for the sake of jest? For we all know men are not innocent; especially older white ones who protest the the stinging swipe of the feminist’s cattle prod. Still, I refuse to go gently into that “older-white-male-former-slaveowner’s-guilty-place night”.

#steven orr writer #and then 20

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saintorr · 8 years ago

Text

“Gentrification Genocide” Four scenes

c. 2017 by Steven Orr

I. Having survived AIDS, a gay-bashing, 9-11, Sandy and an endless stream of trickster, horny-queens posing as no-show clients, I reflect; will this latest wave of too-close-for-comfort gentrification be my own, personal, genocidal Swan Song? Tonight, while riding my bike like a crazed, clowning pterodactyl, I found myself breathily imitating the sound of a very feminized bicycle bell. “Ding-ding” one moment, and the next, screaming like a crazed banshee at a female pedestrian dressed in black as she is mindlessly stepping directly into my on-coming path. My crazed battle-cry makes her stop bunglingly in her tracks; her oral addiction to her mobile device unforgivingly interrupted. Indignantly, she screams “Oh my God!” in a belting, bleating voice tinged with a Valley-girl accent. This happens just off 7th Street and First Avenue. I pedal on gleefully, half ashamed for my acting out, and half empowered and self-congratulatory for my anarchistic, bad-boy tendencies. I’m hoping and praying that maybe, said jay-walker is one of the new billionaire zombies inhabiting the crystal cardboard and colorless tag-team duo of buildings that went on the market last fall. They are located on Avenue A between 6th and 7th Streets; or perhaps she's a new resident of the renovated and reconverted Shul just four doors west of my man cave. Oh, you know, that confusing condo-synagogue; that half place-of-worship, half billionaire-broken-hearted-haunt of the ghost of the big Rabbi who is survived by his swarmy, conniving, snake-eyed son, also named Sandy.

II. In the morning, do not fear, I tell myself, for those monstrous explosions are merely the renovation of the deceased artist De Maria’s former studio. Formerly a Con-Ed substation, the building is currently being magically and noisily transformed into a private museum for one Mr. Brant, the new billionaire owner. Ordinary neighborhood citizens will not be allowed access to the beatific garden growing between 421 East 6th Street, and cutting straight through to East 7th, like a slender, cold, fish knife slicing through a newborn babe’s beating heart, nor will they be allowed into the private storage space where priceless, modern (and most-likely insipid) works of art will be hidden away. Here will be housed Brant’s sacred treasures of the inner sanctum; here in this great, tall, glass-walled chapel of a structure, art will dwell. Rich man’s art, available only for private viewing to the coterie of fellow billionaires, stars and their kingly cronies. Cannibalize yourselves, you lowly 99%, suffer the noise! Let the new money frighten away the former spirit guides and the friendly semi-wild gypsy cats that once played, sang and danced along and in between these semi-lit row houses of tenements, filled with the ghosts of beer and dreams and young strains of fading songwriters’ guitars and falling-in-love-with-the-moonbeam-dreams and rainy-days-and-Sundays of East Village hungry-hearts and shadow leather lovers. Monsieur Brant wanted a location and tax-write off that was “creative”, so here we are! Oh you poor 99%, you starving nothings, yes, you may die of noise, entitlement and achingly tight assholeism when the chic parties start and the drones and the helicopters and the limousines start arriving with darling, parasitic models and the zombie-hungry, spoiled-cool, hipster billionaires and their cold, cold parents but oh! Just look how your property values are increasing! With every chiseled BOOM BOOM of chards detaching and jagged, dusty, broken bricks flinging, the work crew of flying monkeys is tossing all, all into the the BOOMING maw of the dumpster from hell (it must be half a block wide). Then comes the skeletal, fire-cracking, whacking-snapping chorus of never-ending jackhammers (often five at once), for this is a war of money over time, fought, won and played out by short, trollish billionaires with crooked smiles and hawk-like noses. For WE THE PEOPLE are obsolete and irrelevant; WE THE PEOPLE are little better than charming old engines, White slave labor, memories of America’s fragmented, shrunken middle class; now addicted to crack, Walmart, Nikes and digitized Disney dreams of “Searching for Dory”. WE THE PEOPLE, better forgotten, better disposed of, better buried by the Trumps, so the young, rich litters of billionaire spawn can play here anew, can fling themselves into their endless selfie-cesspools of Chai lattes, tropical banana and protein powder smoothies, funny French black bulldogs named Lucy and lovely, decadent, divinely narcissistic empty and burning consumeristic dreams of pretension and nothingness. In short, WE THE PEOPLE are poor, inconsequential, invisible and don’t matter anymore.

for this back pain’s made every other step excruciating for three months now, all through the holidays (the wine helped, sometimes the sex). “No, Goddammit I don’t NEED ESTROGEN! FUCK YOUR ESTROGEN AND YOUR PHONE MENU AND YOUR INSTRUCTIONS TO CALL 9-1-1 IF THIS IS A MEDICAL EMERGENCY!” One of the patient associates who handles referrals, Martino, a vicious, little queen with bitchy glee is quoting too-fast and meaningless policies at me like cream pies. The next confusing day (nervous breakdown number two due to my inane, continuing efforts to make an appointment for treatment of this seemingly endless back pain) I am connected with a manager named Stephanie. What sex is she I wonder? Dare I ask and be reported for inappropriate behavior? Stephanie pulls no punches and begins to attack and berate me for my wholly unfriendly, hostile and homophobic language, for I made the mistake of referring to the “mean queen” of yesterday’s quoting policies-to-me-episode. “This is Callen Lorde” she proclaims, like a punitive, spayed, female, pit-bull cop, “You should know better!” Her rawhided, neuter, Bougie-Bitch delivery strips me bare, exposing me for all the bisexual silliness and tendencies toward anarchistic prostitution and polymorphously, pleasure-seeking perversity that I am; that I inhabit and display, for this is the magical stuff that makes me me. Imagine her, lambasting my essence! I have an allergy to anyone that coldly ignores and debases men only for being men. Why do some females act like raging amazon warriors slicing through the air, waving their clitorises like sharpened bayonets; so ready with a threat or an admonishment over any microscopic drop of incorrect language or innuendo that happens to ejaculate, albeit casually, from any MAN’S mouth merely for the sake of jest? For we all know men are not innocent; especially older white ones who protest the the stinging swipe of the feminist’s cattle prod. Still, I refuse to go gently into that “older-white-male-former-slave-owner’s-guilt-place night.”

IV. Once upon a time, there was a neighbor non-friend of mine, a sexless tomboy with frigid, uptight boundaries who had a talent for making me feel as warm and welcomed as a serial killer rapist. “Don’t nag me” she asserted testily at the coop board meeting, and with a jolt of movement from her dry, tendinous and over-vascularized body, SLAM CRASH! The mirror behind her slides off the wall, and onto the floor. Everyone jumps “There, you see” I intone, smiling like Joan Crawford as Crystal in “The Women”, “That’s what you get for attacking me.”

#Steven Orr writer

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