#...thank you bebe can't wait to hug 🫂

[kofolacitrus]

LOVE IT!!!💗💗💗

Seriously I'm gonna freak out. Nae, you proved again how talented writer you are💗

Sam carrying a child...

@demonzriti commissioned me to write this little silly fic for @sametrapeni the other day. it’s really just 1,065 words of crack mpreg!sam/paulie.

i’ve never written anything like it, but with the week i’ve been having, it was so refreshing & fun to write! i hope i did the idea justice for you & i hope it can bring a smile to @sametrapeni’s face! they’re lucky for a partner like you!! <33

read & enjoy if that’s your thing! and if it’s not but you have a self-indulgent thing (no matter how silly you think it is!) you’d like for me to write for you, check out my kofi! & my ao3 for writing refs & commission rules! but know there’s really very little i wouldn’t write & can/will do other fandoms!

Paulie walks his fingers over Sam’s tummy, and Sam won’t ever admit it, but it’s the number one thing he’ll miss the most about the pregnancy.

Though lucky for Sam, he doesn’t have to, because Paulie does it for him. “I’ll miss this.” Paulie mutters, flattening his hand to rub over the hard lump where the baby’s resting. “Feelin’ ‘em in here like this. Knownin’ you’re really carryin’ ‘em. Our baby.”

Sam rolls his eyes, fighting the smile tugging at his lips. “I won’t. This shit is for th’ birds.”

Paulie laughs, loud and full, and at this Sam does smile. It’s impossible not to.

“Sam, I—“

Sam cuts Paulie’s words off with a groan, loud and long. He tilts his head back against the headboard and cradles his stomach. He sighs through his teeth, he can almost feel his eye twitching as the pain radiates through his lower back.

“Sam? Sammy? Hey, what’s wr—“

“Shut up, Paulie.” Sam grits out, like every word takes incredible effort.

Paulie’s alarm only grows as he sits up. He looks down at Sam and Sam contemplates punching Paulie right upside the head. Sam has begun to sweat just a little, his thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration. His breathing is labored and concentrated.

“It’s. I think.” Sam takes a deep breath, groaning through the pain again, “Christ. Christ, Paulie. I think it’s time.”

“Time? For what? Sammy, time for what?” Paulie asks, his voice raising in alarm with each question.

Sam looks at him with a flat affect. And again, he considers hitting Paulie.

“Oh, I don’t know, Paulie. Time for some fuckin’ tea and cakes, maybe? Maybe time to go for a light stroll? Maybe time for a shower? Jesus Christ. I think the baby’s coming you fuckin’ dunce!” Sam yells, his eyes slipping back closed, his breathing laboring even more with every breath.

The panic shows on Paulie’s face as he throws the blanket off of them. “What?”

“Paulie. Don’t piss me off.” Sam answers, his voice still on edge.

Another contraction hits Sam and this time he groans loudly, bringing his knees up. He nearly screams, his hand slipping under his shirt to rub at the skin of his taunt stomach. The baby is much lower than it had been previously. And Sam doesn’t know anything about birth or babies and really isn’t sure how they ended up in this predicament in the first place but Jesus Christ this hurts. How did Tommy ever convince Sarah to do this twice?

“Sam. Sammy. You have to breathe. What did Sarah say? Like HEE-HAHH-HEEE-HOO—“

“Paulie. I’m going to fuckin’ shoot you. I swear to God, I will. I swear to fuckin’ God.”

“Sam. That’s not breathin’. Maybe you need to stand? Walk around, right?” Paulie jumps out of bed and puts his hands on his lower back, and starts pacing around, “Like this, right? Sarah did a lot of walkin’ when she had her baby girl. Oh Christ, should we call Sarah? I’m gonna call Sarah.”

“Paulie.” Sam grits again, then groans, another near scream. “Sam!” Paulie rushes to Sam’s side, places his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Baby? What is it?”

“Sit.” Sam takes another deep breath, “Down.”

Paulie nods, and sits on the edge of the bed, snaking his arm around Sam’s shoulders. He stays still for about another minute, before Sam feels another wave of pain, similar to the first, hit him like a ton of bricks.

He tries not to let on how badly it hurts, but honestly? Getting shot hurt less.

Paulie notices Sam tense and he jumps out of bed again, “I’m callin’ Sarah.” he mutters, mostly to himself, as he nearly sprints out of the room.

Sam had known, realistically, that Sarah would be his midwife. There’s no one he’d trust more. Sarah had two children, and had had them at home, more or less by herself. But the idea of Sarah seeing him like this, in pain, writhing, the idea is mortifying.

However, he doesn’t have time to deal with that, as the pain takes over again.

“Paulie!” Sam shouts, followed by another groan, “Get. In. Here. With. Me.” He forces every word out and in the silence in between words, he can hear Paulie talking, muttering, the scratch of a pen, like he’s taking notes.

“Just a minute, baby. Hold on!” Paulie calls back, then Sam can hear him mutter, “And what else, Sarah? Hurry. What else? Are you sure you can’t be here no sooner?”

Sam is feeling homicidal actually. He thinks it’s time to give into it. He might just kill Paulie before he ever gets to see his big-headed baby.

Sam has just about settled on the fact he’ll be a single father when Paulie comes back with a cup of ice and a small hand towel from the kitchen.

“I’m here, Sammy. I’m here.” he mutters, rushing to the bed.

“Sarah said this will help. Here.” Paulie leans over and puts a damp towel on Sam’s head. It’s ice cold and oddly, supplies immediate relief. Sam hadn’t realized he was so hot.

“She said you can chew on this ice. Don’t know what it’s supposed to do but she swears by it.” Paulie pushes the cup into his hands. “And to take your pants off. Which you know I have no problem with. Heh.” Paulie chuckles and reaches for Sam’s pants.

And the homicidal urge fills Sam again. He grabs Paulie’s wrist, almost spilling his cup of ice, “Don’t. Fuckin’. Touch. Me.” Sam grits, through crunches of the ice.

Paulie laughs, has the audacity to laugh. This causes Sam’s eye to actually twitch.

“Well, had you been sayin’ that 9 months ago, maybe we wouldn’t be in this, huh?”

Sam stares at him. He feels the rage fill in every pore of his body, and he realizes he has to speak, because if left alone with his thoughts for a moment longer, he’d kill Paulie. Truly and honestly.

“Paulie. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Get out!”

“Now c’mon Sammy—“

“OUT!”

“Okay, okay!” Paulie laughs, and that beautiful crooked smile doesn’t leave his lips, and Sam is in limbo between wanting to shoot Paulie and to kiss him until they’re both breathless. Which of course makes Sam more upset.

Sam waits for Paulie to be turned around before he starts to strip out of his pants. He loves Paulie. More than life itself, and God, anyone knows that. But Christ.. he hopes their baby doesn’t get his sense of humor.