#...do you think it broke his heart that he wasn't strong enough in the virtual world to just break her neck or crush her windpipe

[vespertin-y]

I AM BESIEGED BY GONTA ANGST THOUGHTS

[ditttiii]

Finding Me Through You (Part 2)

A Jungkook x Reader Two-shot

Genre: Angst // comfort (soft) // romance // strangers to friends to lovers // a hybrid AU // college AU // 

Warnings: maybe a curse word?

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 4929 for the series. 3400 for this part.

PART ONE (1)

Summary:   You lose yourself to the feeling of having the man you love, kiss you and it feels like a homecoming. It feels like having the stars align perfectly, it feels like having your world tilt back on its axis. It feels like magic, joy—love.

OR

Jeon Jungkook. The campus heartthrob. Captain of the football team. High School Prom King. Teacher’s favourite. Student body favourite. Anyone, and everyone’s favourite. This is the story of how you went from strangers to best friends to finally lovers and if in the way you somehow found yourself? well that was just a bonus.

Nearly six months have passed since you first met Jungkook. You were still a little shy and quiet, but with Jungkooks' help and his constant support and soft reassurances, you had slowly started to come out of your shell. You were in no way shape or form anything like Jungkook was, but you also weren't the doormat that you used to be, and for that you were thankful. 

You hear the sound of approaching footsteps and before you can turn to take a look, an arm is suddenly over your shoulders pulling you closer into someone's side.

You let out a quiet 'umph' and push your hair back from your eyes, craning your neck up and shooting a glare as your eyes catch that of your best friends. 

Jungkook in response only grins wider, ruffling your hair as his hand finds its way to your scalp. With a squeal, you duck and try to push him away, the sound of your laughter ringing in the air like wind chimes in a breeze. 

"Stop! Kook, I swear—Eeepppp!" Your warning is cut off as Jungkook moves his hand from your shoulders to your waist and pulls you closer. Your body slams into his and the breath gets knocked out of you from the impact. You blush as you feel his solid, corded muscles from even under the layers of both your hoodies. 

It was no secret that your best friend was hot—ridiculously hot, you have always known that. Even in the past when you two had been barely acquaintances at best and strangers at worst, you knew he was hot. But the only difference between now and then was that you didn't care before. However, now as you feel his warmth seep into you from between the layers of your clothes, you can't not care. You avert your eyes from his and scratch your ear, casually pulling your strands free from behind where they were tucked and create a curtain of hair over your flaming red cheeks. 

You hear Jungkook laugh at your attempt at ignoring him and feel as he leans down to leave a soft peck on your head. The feel of his full, soft, lips tangible, and real even through the many strands of hair in between.

Sometimes you think Jungkook is the best thing that has ever happened to you, while other times you think your friendship is like a rose, lined with thorns unseen from a distance. Thorns that were your feelings for him, the same feelings which while you couldn't see in the past, now you were fully aware of. The constant prick of them is a presence in your heart both comforting and not.

"What's your next class?" You ask in an attempt to distract him and his attention away from you. It works as you see Jungkook tilt his head to the side and squint into the distance. Deep in his thoughts, as he tries to remember his schedule. 

You think it's unfair how good looking your best friend is, how ridiculously, unfairly good looking he is. His eyes, a soft shade of brown that are always warm when looking back into yours, are big and doe-like, forever curious and inviting. Sometimes, you think if you look into them long enough you'll drown in their depths. You'll drown and never find your way back and then you wouldn't want to because you like being lost more, and—that, That scares you. 

It scares you so much because you have never felt so strongly before. So powerfully that, it's like every single cell in your body calls out for Jungkook, longs for his presence more than it wishes for water or air. Your feelings have never been so consumingly deep—true and as your eyes track the way your best friend's lips move as he talks, you think maybe you never will again. Not after him.

And somewhere deep in your heart, something twinges painfully at the realization that this is it for you. You will forever be that girl in love with her best friend, the one whose love was, in the end, left unreciprocated. 

You snap your gaze away from Jungkook and to the hallway in front of you, as your eyes burn with repressed unshed tears. Tears that you will never let fall, because you would rather choose death over letting Jungkook feel guilt for your feelings.

However, as his hand makes its way back to your waist, the burn grows stronger, the sting in your throat, sharper as you try to ignore the way your heart races, the way the skin under his hand tingles and instead fake a laugh, forcing a normal facade over your longing heart as you continue to pretend like every second of having him close but not yours wasn't slowly killing you. 

You groan as you shift your bag higher up your shoulders, the strain, an annoyance that you hadn't expected to feel in college. 

'What's the point of passing out from high school if the textbooks are just going to get thicker and more unbearable?' You think to yourself as you make your way across the campus, to your next class. 

As you walk by the cafeteria on your way, from the corner of your eyes you see a group huddled around the edge of the cafeteria. You raise your eyebrows when you see just who is in the centre of that group.  

'Ha Rin' your brain supplies in helpfully and you slow your steps, curious to see what Jungkook's ex-girlfriend has been up to, since their breakup last week. They hadn't dated for too long, maybe two weeks. When you look back at it, you don't think that in the time that you have known Jungkook, you have ever seen him date anyone for more than a month. 

It was something that confused you at the start, the boy who had stepped up to defend you— a virtual stranger, was actually a player? It had been months since that realization on your part and while you have slowly come to accept that dating was just Jungkooks’ way of living, it always caught you a little by surprise hearing about another one of his breakups. 

In some ways, it was a reminder that he would pick every other single girl in college before he'd ever consider dating you, and 'Even then he'll probably choose not to date instead', you think annoyed and a little jealous. 

You don't have to look too hard to see what Jungkook must have seen in her. She was undeniably gorgeous, her hair was long and lustrous, her smile wide and beaming. It wasn't hard to see why most guys in your college wanted her, while most girls wanted to be her. You look at the way she throws her head back when she laughs and feel a stab of jealousy run through you at the realisation that, no you'll never be that graceful. 

Tamping down the green, ugly feeling in your stomach, you move to walk away from the group. Hurrying past the group in the cafeteria, you walk as quickly as you can to your next class, but before you can leave the cafeteria, you catch a part of their conversation that makes you pause. 

"—ugh, seriously I don't know who Jungkook thinks he is but I would never let a guy cheat on me and then continue to date me. I mean can you believe the audacity of that guy, sleeping around with other girls while he's in a relationship with me?! No wonder he's as popular as he is, whoring around through half the college will obviously do that for you. He's honestly disgusting, and I am so glad I broke up with him coz like ugh, walking STD much?" 

Your eyes widen as you hear that and register the voice of the speaker as Ha Rin in your brain. Your hands' clench and your claws feel sharp, as your usual iron-clad hold over your anger slowly starts to slip, the more you hear her talk. 

She was talking—lying, about the man you were in love with, the man who had painstakingly taken care of you for the past six months, the man who had pulled you out from your own shadow, the man who had held you close and rocked you to sleep as your tears soaked through his shirt on nights when you couldn't even bring yourself to breathe through your tears and snot—too disgusted by your skin. 

Jungkook had made you fall in love with yourself, just as much as he had made you fall in love with him. Your best friend was many things, but a cheater he was not. 

Blinded by anger and fueled by your newly discovered protective instincts, you march over to their table. Your feet slap hard against the pavement and the sound of you walking, resounds through the cafeteria like an ominous warning before an approaching storm. 

-SLAM-

Your palm comes crashing down, over the surface of the table Ha Rin was sitting on as your gaze locks with hers. Her eyes widen and you lean in closer, the blood in your veins thrumming with anger and your breaths coming out in tiny angry huffs. Your hybrid instincts take over as they shift to protect what you consider family, and you let your eyes turn into slits, menacing, dark, and beyond furious. 

"I am sorry, I don't think, I heard you right, did you say Jungkook was a cheater?" You ask in a deceptively calm voice and the table under your hand creeks, as you lean in closer to her. Your lips pull back in a snarl as you ask that and you can practically sniff the fear oozing off her as your eyes track the movement in her throat, hear the sound of her gulping. 

While Ha Rin was gorgeous, stunning, and elegant in ways you would never be, you were strong, sharp, and lethal, in ways she—a gazelle hybrid would never be. 

You pause, watch her pupils shake, track the drops of perspiration across her forehead, and wait for her to answer. After a few minutes of stunned silence pass, you lean back a little as your eyes glance over everyone gathered. 

Once you are sure that everyone's attention is on you, you growl out, voice still low but not any less menacing, "Jeon Jungkook is not a cheater. Never was and never will be, and anyone pathetic and desperate enough, to be making up lies like that about him, will be answering to me, and I assure you that I won't be so nice next time."

For the first time ever as you leave a stunned, scared crowd behind in your wake, you feel proud. While you might never be Jungkooks' girlfriend, you were his best friend, and to you, that matters more in all the ways that count. 

Your face feels flushed and your legs feel like Jelly as you walk out of your last period class. Your sudden bout of bravery hadn't quite fully sunk in until you were sitting in your class surrounded by your classmates, most of whom were giving you varying looks ranging from scared, to awed, to impressed? 

This feeling of being seen is foreign to you. While your popularity has definitely soared ever since you had started hanging out with Jungkook, it was never because of you or anything you did. You were just Jeon Jungkooks’ best friend. 

But this time, it's different. 

People are looking at you, seeing you for who you are, and not just as someone's best friend. It is a novel, foreign feeling—one that you haven't felt before, but also one that when you think about it, you would like to feel more often.  

You let out a giggle as you think that, your cheeks still flushed, feel warm as you look up at the clear, blue sky. The late afternoon breeze feels cool on your skin as you stroll through the campus grounds, a mile-long grin stretched across your face.

"Y/N!!!"

Before you can turn to greet him back, he is slamming into you, and the breath leaves your body—again. 

"Dammit, Kook! You seriously need to stop doing that before you dislocate my spine, you freaking giant of a human" You playfully grumble as you push Jungkook away with a soft huff and push your hair back, wincing a little when your feet still feel a little unsteady. 

"Are you kidding me right now, woman?" You hear Jungkook speak and then you are in his arms, your feet off the ground as he holds you up high and all you can do is squeal in surprise. 

"The hell Kook! Put me down! What's gotten into you?" You question, your voice shrill and surprised as you wrap your arms around his neck. The thickly corded muscles of his shoulder feel bunched under your grip, and it takes every ounce of self-control that you have, to not blush.

You look down when he doesn't answer and freeze, too lost in your thoughts and worries about blushing, you hadn't noticed how close you two were before. 

But now as you look into Jungkooks’ twinkling, deep, brown chocolate eyes, see the small mole under his rosy lower lip, feel the small, warm puffs of his breath on your face, you realize just how close your faces are. 

Your breathing goes shallow as your eyes flicker all over his face, trying to capture every single detail—from the scar on his cheek to his fuller lower lip, you trace every single feature of his, your actions seemingly beyond your control. 

When your eyes finally snap back to his, you see him already looking back at you, his eyes soft and brimming with fondness, and you don't know—don't understand why.

"Wh-what is this about?" You ask softly, not wanting to break whatever spell has been cast, whatever bubble, the two of you have built. 

Jungkook hums, the sound coming from somewhere deep in his chest, echoing and flowing into you, from where you are pressed tight close to him.

His eyes search yours and yours shy away, flicker down to his throat where you see his Adam's apple bob, as he swallows and suddenly you feel parched. 

"You fought for me." He states, and your eyes snap back over to his. 

"Huh?" You reply back incoherently as your thoughts feel fuzzy and unclear, so close to him. 

"At the cafeteria, you fought with Ha Rin for me, defended my honour. Why? You don't like confrontations, why did you do it then?" Jungkook asks as he slowly lowers you back to the ground, your chests brush against each other, not a sliver of space between the two of you and your hands unconsciously grip his shoulders tighter, too afraid to let go and somehow lose this closeness. 

You try to think through the fog in your mind to find out what Jungkook is talking about. 

However, your remembrance of the scene from the cafeteria earlier serves as a bucket of ice-cold water being poured over you, and you are snapping back to reality, stumbling away from him as your cheeks flush and your heart races. You suddenly wish to run far, far away. Avoid this conversation, as all your bravado from earlier slips and flows down the metaphorical drain, leaving you feeling vulnerable, naked. 

'Stupid. Stupid! How are you going to explain that, you idiot?' your panicked brain supplies before continuing, 'As if having feelings for your best friend wasn't bad enough already, now him and probably the entire university knows about it too.' 

You try to create some distance between the two of you, but before you can move too far Jungkooks’ hand wraps around your wrist and pulls you closer to him. Your sweaty, cold hand leeches away at his warmth as you try not to make eye contact with him, your hope is to be subtle, but you don't think you are.

"Hey, listen to me," He says and grabs your chin softly, turning your face closer to him as his thumb absently rubs over the cleft in your chin. The feel of his calloused thumb over the soft skin of your chin has your face bursting in colour as your pulse rises embarrassingly fast.

You try to mumble out a 'yes', but it sounds incoherent even to your ears, and so you clear your throat and try again, voicing out a soft 'yeah' instead. It isn't much of an improvement, but you also can't bring yourself to articulate better and so you just force your eyes to meet Jungkooks’ and hope that he understands.

Thankfully, he does and then proceeds to take the lead. 

"Hey, it's alright okay? I am not mad or angry or whatever it is that you think I am feeling in that head of yours" He says, tapping your temple softly to emphasise his point and then continues, "I think what you did today was brave, admirable and badass!" At this he grins and gives you a little shake until you finally let out a smile off your own slip and snort out a soft "dork" under your breath.

"I am proud of you." 

Your eyes soften as you hear that and you feel your eyes burn again with unshed tears. 

You let your eyes lock with Jungkooks and feel as his grip over your chin loosens and both his hands, travel to your cheeks, finally curling around your jaw and cradling your face, his fingers slipping behind your ears and softly caressing the sensitive skin there.

The feel of his hands splayed over your skin like that, so soft, so gentle—as though you are an invaluable porcelain doll, has tears springing to your eyes. 

Tiny, warm, tear droplets pool out of your eyes and slip down your cheeks. 

The sight of your tears has Jungkook tightening his grip on you, his face inching closer to yours as your hands find their way to his hoodie, grasping the material and fisting it. 

"I love you," You tell him, tired of keeping your feelings to yourself, you finally let them out. Let your lips form the words, your heart feels every time he is close to you, every time he looks at you as though you are his entire world. 

Maybe you are deluding yourself, imagining things you want, wishing for things that aren't there. But as you look back into Jungkooks’ eye, see them still softened, warm, gentle and brimming with love, you think maybe you're not. Maybe, just maybe, your best friend is in love with you too. 

You inch closer, hesitant but assured by the knowledge that Jungkook hadn't yet pushed you away either. 

You move an inch and Jungkook moves two, the two of you closing the space between together. Symbolic of how your relationship works, how the two of you always stand for each other, protecting, caring—loving, the other. 

Your lips touch his and the first caress, leaves a shiver down your spine. The feel of his full, soft lip is like paradise between your lips. The feeling, everything that you had hoped, dreamed of and more. 

His arms wrap around your waist and bring you closer until there isn't a hairsbreadth of space between you two.Your lips move against each other, full of pecks, soft bites, tongue, lust and love.

Pulling back away from you, he looks into your eyes and you no longer see a boy or a man. No, you see your entire world, your rock, the being your very soul is in love with. 

And then he says, "I love you too" and it's perfect. This moment the two of you have created—magical, surreal, beautiful and oh so perfect. 

You laugh and it comes out sounding wobbly. You think you might be crying but then you look at Jungkook and he is crying, and you think it's okay, and then you kiss him again. Your cheeks touch and his tears mix with yours and it feels like nirvana. 

You lose yourself to the feeling of having the man you love, kiss you and it feels like a homecoming. It feels like having the stars align perfectly, it feels like having your world tilt back on its axis. It feels like magic, joy—love.

A/N: 💖