#... not that I'm gonna date that stupid idiot!!!!! i cant stand him!!! surely this wont become more than a crush

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this guy i'm unfortunately attracted to is pretty popular with the ladies too... I hate to inflate his ego any more than it already is, but... he got me.

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Saving Grace - Part 9

Steve leaves you and your son to go back to Peggy unaware your pregnant.

Your heartbroken and struggling without Steve until Bucky Barnes steps up to help you out. With you and Bucky growing closer everyday will he be your saving Grace?

I was sat on the sofa nursing Grace when the front door swung open and a laughing Harrison came running in.

"You better run pal I'm gonna win!" I heard Bucky chuckle.

"No way!! I faster!!"

I turned just in time to see Harrison throw himself in the armchair declaring himself the winner while Bucky was carrying various bags of groceries in.

"Hey doll" Bucky smiled over at me with a wink before heading into the kitchen.

"Uncle Buck i win!" Harrison yelled happily.

"Yeah you did Buddy, good job" Bucky called back sounding amused.

"Wow your so good bud" i smiled at my biggest baby, he just laughed and run into the kitchen.

"Okayyyy" i mumbled as i straightened up my shirt and moved Grace so i could wind her. Harrison came running back seconds later with a pink t-rex stuffed teddy in his arms.

"This is for Gracie" he said holding it out.

"It is? Oh my god! She loves it baby"

"I picked it out"

"He really did, i couldn't say no" Bucky chuckled walking over and giving me a kiss.

"Its very sweet babe, but where's my gift?"

"Im your gift" Bucky wiggled his eyebrows at me making me laugh.

"Your such a dork"

"I know but you love this dork" he shrugged with the cockiest grin spread on his face.

"Oh i regret it...." i shook my head teasing him "here take your daughter i need to pee so bad" i said getting up and passing Grace to him before quickly darting to the bathroom.

Coming back into the living room a few minutes later i smiled seeing Bucky cuddled up with both kids who were fast asleep.

"Wow that didnt take long" i chuckled sitting in the armchair "your like the baby whisperer"

"I took Harrison to the playground on the way home, think he wore himself out and lil miss is in a milk coma!" He laughed looking down at Grace who was sleeping with a smile on her face.

"Hey, so i was thinking of asking Wanda to come watch the kids the weekend" i said suddenly feeling really nervous as i played with a loose thread on one of the scatter cushions.

"You mean...."

"Yeah if you want...."

"Of course i want!" Bucky nodded quickly making me chuckle.

"Good! Thats good, i thought maybe we could go up to my dads cabin and get Wanda to stay here with the kids. I dont really want them at the compound incase Steve shows up"

"Sounds good to me doll, but just so you know Sam said Steve hasn't been around for weeks. He seems to have realised how bad he messed up"

"Even so, it will make me feel better about being away from them if i know their here"

"Okay I'm sure Wanda wont mind being here, she practically lives here lately anyway" he rolled his eyes.

"Shes just trying to help" i said sticking up for my friend "and its a godsend to have her around while your working"

"I know I'm just teasing" he grinned "its fine doll".

After 20 minutes or so of sitting watching TV with Bucky i felt restless and got up to head to the kitchen to make some tea.

"You okay?" Bucky asked instantly.

"Yeah just making some tea"

"Okay, its just you've been a bit quiet"

"Didn't want to wake the kids" i shrugged and carried on to the kitchen. While waiting for the kettle to boil i suddenly found myself standing there silently crying. Since having Grace id occasionally burst into tears for no reason, now would apparently be one of those times!! damn hormones!!

After grabbing a tissue and wiping away any evidence that id been crying, i splashed some cold water on my face and continued making the tea (a coffee for Bucky) and headed back to the living room.

He was sitting alone on the sofa when i walked in and looked at me with a smile.

"Where are the kids?"

"I put them to bed, baby monitor is on the table" he pointed to the split screen monitor in front of him "i need some time with my girl now, come here mama" he smiled holding out a hand towards me. I couldn't help but smile as i put the mugs down on the table and took his hand. Bucky tugged me towards him and pulled me down onto the sofa to lay with him, his front pressed to my back.

"Feel better?" He mumbled against my ear as his hand caressed my hip slightly.

"Im fine Buck..."

"I heard you crying doll"

"Its just hormones, i didn't even realise i was crying at first"

"If something was wrong you'd tell me right?"

"Of course i would" i told him truthfully reaching back to kiss him "i may fall asleep in a minute I'm exhausted"

"No problem, you should get some sleep while the kids are sleeping...."

"Okay, just stay with me"

"Always".

The next day i headed to the compound to talk to Wanda about having the kids while Bucky and i went up to the cabin. I had checked Steve wasn't around before going over, i wasn't in the mood to deal with that today. I had Grace with me but Bucky had taken Harrison to the zoo for the afternoon, since Grace arrived we had made an effort to spend time with Harrison on his own so he didn't feel neglected and end up hating his baby sister!

"So what brings you by here? Its been a while since you stopped by" Wanda asked rocking Grace in her arms.

"I came by to ask if you were free to watch the kids this weekend...."

"Oooh you finally got the all clear for physical activities huh?" She teased wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"I did! And stop that!" I laughed "i think we've been very patient!"

"Oh you have i know!! Of course i'll look after them" Wanda agreed straight away smiling like an idiot "its what aunties are for anyway"

"Thanks Wan, could you come to us though? I dont want them here incase he shows up"

"Yeah thats fine, makes sense anyway. Everything i'll need is at your place"

"Thats great, i'll get the guest room set up for you".

I had been at the compound for a couple hours now and thought it best to head home and start on dinner. Bucky and Harrison would be back from their day trip soon. I was just about to get up and get Grace settled in her pushchair when i heard Wanda speak up.

"What are you doing here?!"

I snapped my head round and there stood Steve Rogers in jeans and grey henley, his beard had grown back in and his hair looked a little longer..... just how he had looked when we first started dating!

"I...i was looking for Sam, we're meant to be going for a run" he replied holding up his duffle bag.

"Well can you go wait somewhere else?"

"Its fine Wanda I'm leaving now anyway" i gave her a tight lipped smile and finished getting Grace in her pushchair.

"Y/N..... could we talk for a minute? Please?" I heard him ask.

"I've got to get home Steve, Harrison and Bucky will be back soon?"

"please? just a few minutes?"

"Steve, she said no!" Wanda snapped at him, they had always been close and it was horrible to see the distance between them now.

"Okay...." he said sadly turning to leave.

"5 minutes" i suddenly said shaking my head at how stupid i was agreeing to this.

"5 minutes is good, thank you".

"I'll stay close by, yell if you need me" Wanda said quietly to me as she left, we both knew Steve heard every word though!

Steve walked over and sat in the chair next to me, he leaned closer to the pushchair to look in at Grace and smiled.

"She's beautiful Y/N"

"Thanks. So what did you want to talk about? Like i said i need to get home"

"Right" he nodded "Bucky and Harrison been anywhere nice?"

"Bucky took him to the Zoo for the afternoon"

"Man i miss trips to the zoo, Harry always loved seeing the lions" he smiled at the memory.

"His favourites are the wolves now"

"The wolves huh?"

"Yep ever since Shuri and T'Challa visited and called Buck 'white wolf' his been obsessed with them" i shrugged.

"Thats cute" Steve nodded sadly before looking up at me "im sorry. Im sorry for everything..... i should never had left"

"No you shouldn't have, but you did. You can't change that Steve"

"I know. I dont know what i was i thinking sweetheart"

"Lets not not do this again. It wont change anything.... you chose another woman over your fiancé and your son! All those years i gave you and you chose a woman you spent 5 minutes with a 100 years ago!!" I took a deep breath trying my best to stay calm and not shout at him, i didn't want to wake Grace "i loved you so much and you threw it in my face. You didn't even have the balls to say goodbye"

"I know" he admitted avoiding eye contact and we sat silently.

"If you could go back to that day, the day you left us..... would you still do it?" I asked breaking the silence.

"I dont know.... i had a beautiful life with Peggy, but i missed you and Harrison so much. There was no way to get back to you, the machine hadn't been invented yet so i had no choice but to embrace my life with Peggy"

"You know what? Im glad you went" i suddenly told him shrugging my shoulders "if you had of stayed here Bucky and I wouldn't be together" i saw Steve grit his teeth hearing me mention his best friend "and i can't imagine my life without him, i love him more than any man I've loved before. I thought what you and i had was the real deal, my big love..... but i was so wrong. Bucky is it for me Steve, so i guess i should be thanking you for leaving"

"Theres no second chance for us is there?"

"No. Maybe down the line somewhere we can try to be friends but it'll never be what it was" I got up getting ready to leave when he cleared his throat and wiped away a few tears that had escaped.

"What about Harrison?.... can i spend some time with him? I know i dont deserve it but I've missed him so much"

"Thats up to Harrison. I cant make him spend time with you Steve, but if he wants to.... its something we can discuss. Look i really need to get home, bye Steve".

Saving grace tags:

@jennmurawski13 @kenzieam @captainchrisstan

@s-t-r-i-k-e-us @lets--be-honest

@ms-betsy-fangirl @damnaged-princess

@farfromtommy @disneylovingal @lbuck121

@billweasleey @rynabarnesrogers

@heathens-takeitsl0w @lacontroller1991

@supervengerslock @barnesandrogersworld

@mariswritingforfun @perpetually-tuned-out

@thummbelina @marvelousstyles

@broco8 @ineffableg-irl

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Unexpected Arrival - 6

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, possible Steve x Reader

Summary: As if working with the Avengers wasn’t exciting enough…. an unexpected visitor is about to change your life forever.

"There you guys are" Nat stated as me and Bucky walked into the common room together "where you been?"

"Buck was just helping me with something...."

"You’re not gonna end up pregnant again are you?" She smirked.

"Oh my god" i shook my head feeling my cheeks burn "really Nat?"

"What? Im just curious"

"Leave them alone" Steve scolded her as he rocked Evie gently in his arms.

"Fine! Y/N fancy coming shopping with me?" Nat asked looking hopeful.

"Id love to but im not really feeling up to it just yet"

"Okay, how about online shopping? I know you still need to get some things"

"I can do that" i nodded smiling at her.

"Lets go to my room, daddy and uncle Steve can watch miss Evie here"

"Um... ok" i turned to look at Bucky and Steve who both nodded and smiled.

"We'll be fine sweetheart" Bucky said "we know where to find you if we need you"

"Okay, if she gets hungry give her the bottle?"

"Sure, I've got this don't worry".

"Bottle? I thought you were breast feeding?" Nat looked at me "you decide to switch to formula?"

"Don't ask.... lets just go" i blushed and quickly walked out the room before i died of embarrassment.

"It was so humiliating Nat!! He was milking me like a damn cow! But i was in so much pain....." i was saying to her after she made me tell her everything, my face buried in my hands as i thought about what had happened, Nat was laughing so hard i reached over and shoved her.

"Hey!"

"Its not funny!! I really dont stand a chance with him now do i!?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean if he wasn't interested before this....then i stand no chance now he’s had to do that!" I threw myself back on her bed dramatically "i thought the birth was the hardest part of having Evie.... but my god was i wrong! Sure it was the most painful part" i laughed "but all this stuff that comes after..... the hormones... the leaky boobs.... and having to deal with all this with Bucky.... knowing he wont ever feel the way i feel...."

"Okay listen to me, you might not see it but that man out there is crazy about you!"

"Are you mad?" I laughed shaking my head at my best friend.

"Maybe, its not impossible" she shrugged making me chuckle "but I'm telling you, Bucky loves you. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking, even before you guys had a kid together"

"If he loved me like you say he does, why did he act like nothing happened in Alaska??"

"Now that i don't know" she shrugged while opening up the online shopping pages on the big screen "you'd have to ask him".

(Buckys POV)

"You okay Buck?" Steve asked making me turn to look at him "you've been unusually quiet"

"Yeah... yeah im fine. Just thinking"

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Its just... never mind" i shook my head feeling like a dumb ass.

"Talk to me, whats on your mind?"

"I thought i could do this, you know? I thought i could be a dad to Evie and just carry on being friends with Y/N.... but its so hard not to feel more"

"Are you saying you have feelings for Y/N?"

"Ive always had feelings for her Steve, how do you think we got here! I have loved that girl from the second i met her" i finally admitted with a huge smile, it felt good to finally get it off my chest.

"This is big Buck! But i dont get it....why did you act like nothing happened after you guys slept together? You ignored her.... dated other women...."

"Wait how do you know.... has she spoken to you about what happened?" My smile dropped as i sat forward looking at Steve.

"No! No of course not!" Steve said quickly clearly lying! He was the worst liar ever!

"What did she say?"

"Nothing...."

"Steve i swear to god if you don't tell me...."

"I cant say okay, i promised her i wouldn't say anything"

"As my best and oldest friend, you better tell me what you know Steve"

Steve exhaled slowly shaking his head as he looked down at my sleeping daughter in his arms.

"Look all im going to say is if you love her, you need to tell her. Because she doesn't believe that you could possibly love her.... that she's not good enough"

"What??" I sat shaking my head "why would she ever think that??"

"You tell me Buck"

Then it suddenly made sense, i understood what Steve meant.

"Shit" i muttered pushing my hair back from my face "its because of how i acted after....."

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because i thought she deserved better, someone better than me. She's so good.... in every way and im..... well we all know how fucked up i am"

"Bucky you are not fucked up! We know that.... she knows that"

"How could she ever love me Steve?"

"I dont know pal but she does"

"What??"

"You never heard this from me you hear me??!" Steve said looking around to make sure no one else was around and i nodded quickly "Y/N loves you.... she's in love with you you idiot! She has been for a while"

"She never said anything....."

"Neither did you! She was hoping that after Alaska things would change"

"But then i ignored her and pushed her away...how could i have been so stupid!!!"

"She's convinced herself that you regretted it, that you could never love her and so she's trying to be your friend..."

"What do i do Steve?"

"Thats your call Buck"

I huffed falling back against the sofa, was Steve telling me the truth?? Was is possible that Y/N loved me??

"Can i ask you something?" I asked turning my head to face Steve, he nodded and waited for me to ask my question "do you have feelings for her?"

"W..what??" Steve stuttered as his cheeks flushed red.

"Its a simple question Steve"

"Its not a simple answer Buck...."

That night i was in bed laying on my side watching Evie sleeping in her basket next to me. The bedroom door opened and closed gently and i already knew it was Bucky, i felt the bed dip as he laid down and then his arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled himself closer.

"Hey doll" he mumbled quietly before pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Hey"

"How was your evening with Nat?"

"It was nice, i ordered some nipple pads so no more embarrassing leaks!" I said chuckling, Bucky was laughing quietly behind me "and i figured out that damn pump.... the weirdest feeling ever!"

"Oh yeah? Even weirder than what we had to do earlier?" He laughed and tightened his hold on me.

"Definitely! your way was more enjoyable" i teased but also felt my cheeks burn at the confession, thank god it was dark so he couldn't see!

"Well I'm always happy to help".

We laid in a comfortable silence both watching our daughter sleep, Bucky was stroking my stomach where his hand rested, i wasnt even sure he knew he was doing it.

"Hey Buck?"

"Yeah doll?"

"I need to ask you something...."

"Okay"

"I dont want you to get mad though, im just curious...."

"Spit it out sweetheart, you can ask me anything"

I took a deep breath gathering my nerves, i had to get this over with!!

"Why did you act like nothing happened that night in Alaska?"

His hand stilled on my stomach for a few seconds and i felt him hold his breath.

"You know what, forget i asked..." i said starting to get up but he pulled me back down to the bed holding me close again.

"Dont go" he said quietly "you just caught me off guard.... you really wanna know why?"

"Yes...."

"I acted like nothing happened because when i woke up i realised you deserved better than me doll. After everything I've done in the past.... i don't deserve someone like you. Id only be a burden on you"

"What....?" I asked not believing what i was hearing, i turned around so i was facing him "how can you say that?"

"Its true" he said giving me a sad smile.

"You’re an idiot James Barnes" i shook my head "you’re not a burden, you are the best man i know" i admitted cupping his face in my hands.

"Well thats not true.... you know Steve"

"You’re still the best man i know" i smiled at him meaning every word.

"But the things ive done...."

"That wasnt you, that was Hydra! If you had been in control of your mind you would never had done any of those things"

"But i still did it" he said sadly.

"It. Wasnt. You" i said again looking him in the eyes "you are a good man Bucky, i know you find that hard to hear but its true. And i will tell you everyday for the rest of my life if i have to" i smiled at him before leaning forward and gently kissing him.

"Doll...." he said pulling away from the kiss, shit! had i really just kissed him??

"Im sorry! I shouldn't have...."

"I love you!" he confessed instantly shutting me up.

"What did you just say....?"

"I said i love you.... im IN Love with you. Ive loved you since the second i met you" he admitted, i could tell by the look in his eyes that admitting this terrified him.

"I love you too" i told him truthfully, if he was being honest it was only fair that i did the same.

"You do?"

"Yes" i whispered before his mouth came crashing down on mine. His hands felt like they were everywhere and it was the best feeling in the world right now. It quickly became heated, i could feel his hardness rubbing against me.

"Buck....as much as i want you inside me right now i cant.... not yet" i pulled away gasping for air.

"I know baby, this is enough for now" he said as he trailed kisses down my neck and continued rubbing up against me.

"You’re gonna be the death of me Barnes!"

Taglist: @booktease21 @founding-fuck-bois @whynot3027 @xpunishedx @siren-queen03

@we-are-all-wild-things