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angelaiswriting · 7 years ago

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Not His Queen (part 5 of 6) | Roan x OC

[GIF not mine]

✎ Requested by @selldraug : “Roan has a lover even if he’s going to get married to Y/N. His future wife doesn’t like this and shit happens”

✎ A/N: the angst this story puts on me, my gosh... Also, this is the second to last chapter. And everything happening was frigging requested by Claudia and I don’t know how she can come up with so many evil things.

✎ Fandom: The 1OO. Pairing: Roan x Reader

✎ Warnings: angst. Cheating + super light mentions of sexual acts. Pain. Self-harm (at the end, like the four/five last paragraphs).

Word-count: 4641

Part one | Part two | Part three | Part four | Part six

A couple of weeks had passed and Aletheia couldn’t say she didn’t like her new married life. Sure, Roan was sometimes busy with him being King and all, but all in all, she was enjoying it. He waited for her to wake up before he left their bed, he cuddled her after sex, he even unbraided her hair when she was particularly lucky.

And when he felt particularly good, they even had sweet sex. He drove her crazy before making her cum, but at least she didn’t wake up the morning after sore like hell, her body covered in bruises and love bites for everybody to see.

He had even stopped sneaking out at night to go to that damn whore and, once more, Lethe had deluded herself into thinking he had finally put a stop to that story, that now she was the only woman in his life.

She had started to hope again, to dream of a better future and to dream of home.

With Nia dead, she even went back to training and she was pleased to notice that she hadn’t forgotten a thing in that year she had spent captive in Azgeda. She still had things to learn and her aim faltered sometimes, but she had always been quick at learning and she was sure she’d be able to fix her little problems in no time.

Echo had taken the duty of teaching her and those hours they spent together tasted like home, like childhood. They had always used to train together as kids and to fight until the night fell and they couldn’t almost see their own faces anymore. And that’s what they still did now.

Sometimes Roan joined them and when he did, Echo always left after a while and Roan always found a way to sneak in her pants and to make her forget about her duties. He always made sure to make her lose her focus on the training and to push it towards what was to come. Lethe didn’t believe in miracles, they belonged to fairy tales and she didn’t believe in fairy tales anymore. But sometimes, when she thought about how nobody had walked up on them having sex yet, she thought that maybe little miracles happen, at times.

And with each passing day, Anka’s name started to fade in her memory and soon - sooner than it was actually good - she started to think that that woman was just a bad dream she had one night.

“Aletheia,” Roan’s voice brought her to the present and her eyes snapped into his direction. “Did you hear what I said?” he asked and only in that moment, she realized he was holding the reins of her horse.

“What are you doing with Atlas?” Her brows furrowed as she tried to take the reins from her husband’s hands.

“Sen in*,” he sighed, taking a hold of her hand to stop her. “I need you to go with the ambassadors for Skaikru, to take them to wherever they live. Keep an eye on them while they gather the medicaments and Clarke’s mother.”

Aletheia stared at him for a while and when she managed to answer, her ‘no’ sounded more like a question. “You have guards for this, why send me? I don’t even like these people, Roan. I might just lose my shit and do some damage to this stupid coalition. Send Echo, she’s better than me at dealing with people.”

Roan’s eyebrows rose and he tried not to laugh. “You might be right about the fact that you don’t like them, but I’m not sure how better Echo is than you.” He pushed her closer to the horse and made her turn so that the Sky People waiting for her wouldn’t be able to catch up what they were saying. “You’re the only person I trust, niron*,” he insisted. “Just go and keep an eye out, and when you come back you tell me everything. I have Lexa to keep calm and Ontari to stop from doing damage. Just go and behave, you will be back with them in no time.”

Lethe wanted to answer back, but she couldn’t find it in herself. The night they got married she had made herself a promise: not to put up a fight with him, to just take him as he was without pushing him beyond his limits for she didn’t want to get hurt again.

“We will stay in bed all day when you’re back,” he promised, his fingers caressing the side of her neck, brushing lightly at one of her love bites. “Just go and be a good girl.”

She snorted and hopped on the horse. “If this is one of your tricks, you’d better get ready ‘cause I’m in no mood to babysit these space monkeys,” she warned him.

Roan chuckled and gripped her ankle for a second before letting her go. “No trick, I promise.”

And even in that moment, she believed him. She didn’t want to think that he was hiding something, that somehow he still had sex with someone else. They were married now, how could he even have eyes for other women? She tried hard to convince herself and even though she didn’t fully manage to do so, she made herself believe in the lies she told herself.

The ride to the caves Skaikru called ‘home’ - or to whatever place they lived in - started off quiet. The boy with curly hair was talking to the other man, someone who could have been her father and was chuckling.

Sickening, she shook her head. She couldn’t find in herself the strength or the motivation to like those people. She should have been grateful since it was thanks to them that Roan was back, but with these Sky People in the coalition, things could just turn into shit in a matter of seconds. Not many people liked them back in Polis, she was sure of this since her sister had ears everywhere, and she was scared by the possibility of some kind of war.

“So,” the man spoke up, turning to look at her on her horse. She was starting to feel uncomfortable, being the only one riding, but she was trying to brush that feeling off her shoulders. “You will be Queen soon if I’m not mistaken. Shouldn’t you be surrounded by guards?”

Lethe snorted - as if she wasn’t able to care for herself! But she didn’t reply. She wasn’t in the mood and she was still pissed at having to babysit grown up kids. If they had managed to land on Earth after leaving space and to survive, there was no need for them to need her to escort them home.

But the two men and Clarke kept staring at her and she sighed. “No, I don’t need guards. And yes, I will be Queen, but this doesn’t mean I need a babysitter.”

No one spoke after those words and the four of them enjoyed the calm of the woods, the trees shielding the sunlight above their heads.

Lethe had started to relax and to slip into an almost trance. It was just something that always happened to her ever since she was a kid: riding her horse, surrounded by peace… it just emptied her mind from all thoughts, calming her. She let the horse’s movements lull her until she almost fell asleep in the saddle.

But then Clarke had to ruin everything. “Why did you want to come with us? It doesn’t seem like you like us.”

Lethe shrugged her shoulders and fixed her posture. “Well, I’m glad I don’t have to fake,” she smirked. “And I didn’t want to come. Roan just made me go with you.”

The younger man, probably Bellamy but she didn’t spend much time trying to learn their names, frowned. “Well, that’s not what Roan told us,” he confessed, stopping in his tracks.

“What do you mean?” Aletheia was starting to feel sick in her stomach again. She made Atlas come to a stop and fought the urge to jump down the horse.

Bellamy shrugged his shoulders just like she had. “He said you were going to accompany us to Arkadia.”

“To what?”

“The place we live in,” the older man specified. “He said you wanted to come along to protect us.”

“Are you lying?” Lethe could feel her heart start to sink again. Had she agreed to do that? She didn’t remember saying ‘yes’ to such a stupid idea. Had Roan lied? Was he still lying to her?

Clarke shook her head. “I was kind of surprised since it’s obvious we make you sick, so we were just wondering.”

“He told you I wanted to come?” She was speechless. How could he lie? To what benefit?

But then something in her mind clicked. He hadn’t sneaked out on her, but he had just waited for the right moment.

She barely heard the three Sky People scream her name behind her while Atlas flew through the forest, the animal’s hooves barely touching the ground. Her head was pounding and she felt like vomiting.

Theia just prayed for it to just be a stupid thought. She had won his heart back, he was hers now and she was his. They had sworn loyalty and love to each other until the end of time. This had to be her mind playing tricks on her.

The horse hadn’t stopped yet when she literally jumped off its running form, landing on the concrete street. It hadn’t been a particularly happy landing and a pebble had opened a little hole in the palm of her right hand, but she didn’t pay much attention to it.

She entered the tower like a fury and pushed her way to the lift.

The way up seemed endless. She tried not to think, to convince herself she was wrong, that he was alone, that that fucking Anka was dead somewhere, but the sickness in her stomach wouldn’t leave and it was spreading to her whole body. Her lungs hurt and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Tears were like stings in her eyes and her throat felt drier than a desert while she couldn’t but swallow air.

When the doors to her floor finally opened, she ran past the guards and down the familiar corridor that led to her bedroom - to their bedroom. If he was with her, Lethe hoped that he hadn’t brought a whore in their bed.

But when Roan’s guards tried to stop her and her brain finally managed to function again, she picked up noises that almost made her throw up.

Lethe closed her eyes for a moment, trying to get in control of her body, but to no avail. She was just too damn tired. She thought it had stopped, that Roan had managed to keep his stupid prick inside his dirty pants. How could she be such a fool? How could she believe him?

When she opened her eyes again, one of the guards had almost managed to grab her arm. But Aletheia could be all but stupid: in a second, the two short swords she had on her back were in her hands and she was ready for some blood.

She was tired of cheating and of stupid guards trying to stop her, to hurt her, to push her behind when she had all the right in the world to be on the front line.

She kicked one of the two men in the stomach before suddenly turning around and piercing the other guard’s throat until the point of the sword clanged against the wall behind him. Lethe wasn’t fast enough: when a hand grabbed her hair from behind and yanked her back, she almost threw up right then and there. Her head smashed against the wall on the other side of the door and she had to shake it a few times before her sight went back to normal.

“The King said no one enters,” the man growled, checking on his friend.

“I am his damn wife,” Aletheia retorted, hissing a little went she took a step forward and her head ached. “I will be your Queen. You can’t keep me out of my room.”

The man didn’t waste time to answer her: he lunged forward and this time Lethe was lucky enough to dodge his fists and to slide to the side. She kicked him behind his left knee and in a blink of an eye, he was kneeling next to her. This time he didn’t have the time to react: the pommel of Lethe’s sword hit hard on his head before the blade fell hard on his neck, cutting it halfway through. Blood was gushing out of the cut and the girl’s face turned red before she could even move away.

Gurgling sounds were slipping out of the guard’s lips and Aletheia didn’t know whether those sounds were real or just a figment of her imagination. She didn’t stop to check: she rose her sword once more and before she could tell it was over, the man’s head fell to the ground and rolled a few inches away from the body before it collapsed in front of her.

A sob escaped her lips for the sounds sneaking out from under the door made her stomach turn in her body.

Did she deserve this? And if she did, what had she done to deserve it?

She picked the head up by its hair and kicked the door open.

“Roan!” she sang and made the head roll inside. Were she in another situation, she’d laugh at her gesture.

She knew she didn’t have to look, but she also wanted to print that image inside her head to stop herself from trusting him ever again.

A brunette girl was riding him, her back and arms covered in black tattoos. The blood in her veins started to boil at the thought that he had never allowed her to ride him like that whore was doing now.

What did she have? Bigger boobs? Longer hair? Was it really because of that that Roan had felt the need to fuck someone else?

The two had stopped what they were doing, but Lethe could still hear their elaborated breaths.

Roan’s hands were still on the girl’s hips and Aletheia thought she was finally standing in presence of that damn whore. Anka’s hands were on his chest, his dick still inside her.

Lethe was ready to kill. Really, she was, and she would have if she didn’t bend in half to vomit her breakfast. Her swords fell to the ground with a clanging sound when Roan suddenly pushed the girl off of him.

She vaguely heard him shuffling, but she was too busy trying to stand on her legs while she straightened her back. When she opened her eyes again, Roan was right in front of her, trying to grab her hands, but she had enough of his shit. She threatened him with one of her swords not to get closer, but he wouldn’t listen and he inevitably got cut. For the first time since they had met, Lethe’s heart was too dead to care.

When Anka burst out laughing and Lethe feared she was going to lose it, she let her sword fall, turned around abruptly and sprinted in the direction from which she had come.

She still felt like vomiting, and she still felt like dying. And she still felt like killing her lying husband and his damn bitch, but as of now, her head hurt too much to even think.

Aletheia almost tripped while getting into the elevator, but she somehow managed to keep her balance. Anka’s laugh kept ringing in her ears, fueling her anger.

This time she reached the main floor in no time, almost as though the elevator knew she was in a hurry and that Roan might have taken the stairs to reach her. And so she didn’t stop when she got out of the building. She ran on trembling legs, her knees threatening to give out, and with her stomach up in her throat she made her way towards the doors of the city and the direction the Sky People had taken.

Where the heck was she going? What would she do?

She felt her own tears threatening to fall from her eyes and to blind her, but she didn’t want to cry for him, not anymore. He had promised and she had caught him with his dick up her cunt and she was not going to forgive him, she was not going to cry for her broken heart and for him.

Then, suddenly, from a far, someone was running towards her and this time Aletheia let the tears stream for she knew it wasn’t him. She didn’t care that Clarke was suddenly clutching her, that she had hated that girl for coming from space.

“Aletheia?” Clarke was calling her but her knees were finally giving out, content to finally have someone to lean on to. As soon as Lethe’s forehead made contact with Clarke’s shoulder, her knees bent and she fell to the ground, eyes rolled back in her head, color gone from her face.

Suddenly, everything had gone black.

It was almost like swimming, like that time when Aletheia and Echo had gone skinny dipping near the southern Azgeda border. It was a year before meeting Roan and they had left home to have some sister time. The lake’s water looked dark even in the sunlight and the two girls hadn’t hesitated and had jumped.

Waking up that day felt almost like coming back to the surface of that lake. The water had felt heavy all around her, almost as though it was more than just water. Her lungs felt the freedom before her eyes had: she took a big gulp of air as she had done those many years ago and then her eyes opened wide on their own accord.

The first thing she felt was the pain in her lungs, slowly spreading to her whole body and to her hammering head. Then, the sense of touch came back and the back of her hands felt furs underneath them.

She could smell the rain and slowly its tapping sound tickled her eardrums. It felt good, she felt at home, but it wasn’t Roan’s home or Nia’s. It was the home she had in that village up in the mountains, where she grew up alongside with Echo after being adopted when she was nine years old. It was the same smell of rain, of earth coming back to life, of dust getting soaked and of wet skin. She could almost feel it on the tip of her tongue, bringing her back in time and space, making her ache for the things she had left behind for a love that was just an illusion.

It also smelled like her first home, on that island near the lighthouse. She still remembered the day she had left it after her parents had been killed: it was raining buckets and she could smell the woods avidly drinking every drop while she reached the mainland.

And then, suddenly, her sight went back to focus and she found herself staring at a well-known ceiling. She jolted up in a sitting position, nausea filling her.

She felt dirty: she could almost feel Roan and Anka’s arousal on her skin and on her clothes and she felt the impulse to vomit.

“Don’t move,” but her ears couldn’t pick up Clarke’s words, too busy replaying her husband and his whore’s moans and grunts. She could almost hear the sound of skin slapping against skin as she stood up, the room spinning around her like a top.

Lethe felt like crying again, like tearing her own skin off her body.

“Calm down, Aletheia!” Clarke insisted, grabbing her by her shoulders and trying to make her sit on the bed again.

But Lethe was weeping and weakly fighting against her. “Not there,” she managed to beg. “Not on that bed.”

Clarke had somehow managed to drag her to sit on a chair because she didn’t remember walking. Kneeling in front of her, her hands clutching at her own, the Sky girl was trying to calm her down, to make her reason.

“What happened?” Aletheia’s head was spinning like the room she was in. She could only remember that scene and herself running away and out of the building.

“You fainted,” Clarke explained. “You’ve been knocked out for a few hours, but you should be okay, even if a little undernourished. We’ve run tests-”

“Tests? What kind of tests?” Theia was starting to stress out like she always did and she yanked her hands away from the girl’s.

Clarke smiled. “To see if you’re sick or something. We didn’t know you were a natblida.”

“You can’t tell anyone, Spacegirl.” The last thing she needed was for more people to know about her blood, that same blood she had spent a lifetime hiding.

“That’s not what concerns us,” the girl smiled again, a toothy smile that creeped Lethe out. “You’re with child.”

For a second or two the world stopped, the rain paralyzed mid-air. Even her heart skipped a beat before those three words hit her like her jailors had a year before. Lethe barely had the time to turn her head to the right to let her insisting nausea out. If she had a soul, Aletheia was now sure she had puked it out.

“I’m sorry, what?” she questioned once she was sure her stomach wouldn’t give up on her again like that, tears streaming down her sweaty cheeks. “Why does life hate me so much?” she mumbled, a sob already forming in the back of her hoarse throat.

Clarke frowned. “What? I told you you’re pregnant, not that you’re dying…”

Lethe’s expression turned mad. “The second option would’ve sounded a lot better to me.”

“What is Roan doing to you?” the girl demanded, but the sounds of commotion coming from outside made both girls’ heads turn.

Before she knew it, Clarke had passed Lethe a dagger and had left to go see what was happening. But Aletheia could imagine it: Roan was throwing a tantrum because he had ‘every right to see my damn wife’.

She patiently waited, a hand resting on her tummy from above her shirt. The weapon in her other hand, an idea was slowly forming in her head, an idea she knew she was not going to regret even if she should.

And then, suddenly, the doors of the bedroom were closed again and Roan was standing right in front of her at the other side of the room.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, getting closer. He looked a little sick, but Lethe knew it was just a play to win her back for she wasn’t able to say ‘no’ to him.

“Don’t get near me,” she warned him, still sitting, the dagger pointing at him. He didn’t stop though, even though he knew how good she was at throwing knives, he didn’t stop. “Was this your idea of cuddling in bed after I got back to my senses? Me sleeping over her cum?”

“Lethe…” Roan sighed and held his hands high, showing her his palms. “I gave you all you wanted. We’re married now, we’re happy. I’m yours. What more do you want?”

How could he not understand it?

How could he not see it?

Was he even the same Roan she had fallen in love with?

“All you gave me was a fucking lie!” she yelled. “And if that’s all you have to offer then I don’t want it. You can give it to her!” Aletheia was doing her best at holding back her tears, but some slipped down her cheeks anyway.

Roan took a step forward and tried to grab her wrist.

“No!” she screamed, her grip on the dagger becoming stronger. “You either understand this or you leave.”

“Look, I am the King,” he pointed out, anger flashing in his eyes. “And I’ll do as I please. I love you, niron, I truly do, but I won’t leave Anka. She was there during my banishment and you weren’t.”

Was he joking? Was he really that dumb? “I don’t know if you listened to me, but I was being tortured! Sorry I couldn’t escape to tend to your fucking dick!”

She didn’t care whether people heard them fighting. She was done, so done with his shit and with everybody’s shit. Even with her own shit. She just wanted it to stop, but everyone felt like keeping that fucking show running.

“What fucking more do you want from me then?” he yelled and his voice ringed so angry that she flinched.

But this time, she was not going to bow down before him, she was not going to wipe the ground on which he walked. “Nothing,” she replied, dagger still between them.

They stared at each other for endless minutes. She was sure he was not going to ask her what had happened. Just like he was not going to give her a valid explanation for his behavior. He was just getting away with it because he was the damn King and all that shit. And she just wanted him to eat all that shit.

“You’re not even going to ask why I fainted?” She cocked her head to the side, lowering the dagger a little. She stared into his eyes and she saw nothing. It was like all he had felt for her once was now gone, swallowed up by that whore’s mouth. “You’re not even interested in knowing that I’m expecting your child?”

Roan’s lips parted in surprise and his hands fell to his sides. For the briefest of moments his eyes sparked up and she saw the Roan she had fallen in love with one last time.

“A kid? My kid?” he stuttered, trying to get closer again.

But she wouldn’t let him nearer. “Last time I checked I didn’t have someone else’s dick up my vagina,” she pointed out, a psychotic smile on her face. “I’m not like you.”

But it was as though he hadn’t heard her words. “We’re having a kid?” His voice trembled in joy and Lethe could see it in his eyes, in the way his back had straightened.

“Are you happy?”

Roan frowned. “Of course I am!” And to prove his words, he kneeled in front of her, grabbed her gently by her hips and kissed her tummy from above the shirt.

“Well, this is good,” she smiled, lifting the hem of her shirt and caressing her belly, her skin almost as fair as her hair. “Because I’m gonna take it away from you.”

And with those words she stood, Roan still paralyzed in his kneeling position. Lethe smiled at him again, one last time, and this once she was happy because it felt like freeing herself from him for good.

Before thinking twice, she had the dagger in the abdomen and Roan was screaming for help while she fell on the ground, her smile still on her lips.

“Crazy bitch,” he groaned, his hands around the dagger.

He didn’t stand up not even when Clarke and Lexa entered the room and hurried him to move, to give them space. He just grabbed Clarke’s wrist and squeezed it tight. “Can you save them?” He tried to hide the worried note of his voice, but couldn’t.

It was all his fault and he should’ve seen it coming.

“I will do my best,” Clarke answered, but ‘her best’ wasn’t enough for Roan. It couldn’t be enough for Roan.

“Please,” he begged, insisting, praying he’d get a chance to love her like she deserved.

Sein in: listen

Niron: love, loved one

TAGLIST (if you want to be added/removed just let me know): @selldraug @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @sylveonfx98 @crazynychick @jaib2-blog @axobrain

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