#... but yeah ivan's love for till is both imperfect & unconventional AND the most honest thing about him.

[atrophiedemotion]

an interesting ivantill parallel i really enjoy is the way they learn. till through creation and rebellion, ivan through mirroring and mimicking.

ivan is a sponge. he collects information on how to act via observation & deliberate people watching and mirrors it in his own behaviors. he reads classical literature and is at the top of his class. he absorbs all information he encounters and internalizes it to essentially learn how to be human.

till pointedly goes against the grain, against the segyein's wishes and the way his peers act and interact. he creates his own way of thinking and expresses himself via art. he writes his own music from scratch, doodles and draws and especially enjoys floral art. he does not bend his will to others- he paves his own way.

what's funny to me is that when it comes to love, they switch.

till learns his idea of love from observing how mizi acts around sua. he adopts her love as his own, yearns for her exact form of love for himself and creates his entire idea of care around what he sees of her. he wants the love he learns from someone else.

ivan learns what love is when he experiences it. he learns it from watching till, yes, but till doesn't show him that care- the love comes from ivan himself. ivan learns how to love from his own feelings, the ones he creates. it seems to be the one thing he doesn't have a baseline for and acts on it fully according to how he feels instead of how he's learned to act.