#-in the works to post soon as well so i figured i'd bang these out so i can focus on those while giving people content to gnaw on

[apradonite]

[tumbleweed-writes]

Now That I Have You: Chibs Telford X OC Fic. Chapter One

This was the very first fic I wrote for this fandom like a million years ago. I'm currently giving it a rewrite/edit on A03, but thought I'd post it as I'm editing in case anyone wanted to check it out. Not sure it's my best work but it was my first.

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Molly Garrett let out a sigh pure irritation taking over as she turned the key in her little rundown blue Volkswagen bug. The ignition sputtered a few times as the car struggled to come to life.

Her honey blonde bangs hung in her dark eyes, damp from the heat of California sun and her lack of air conditioner. She struggled to bring her sad old car to life grumbling under her breath.

"Shit." She blurted out as the car sputtered a few more times refusing to start up. She widened her eyes realizing the word that had just slipped out of her mouth.

She glanced in her review mirror looking at the little boy strapped into the backseat clutching a Spiderman action figure.

Cursing wasn't exactly a good habit to have in front of a five year old boy who would more than likely pick up on the impolite language.

"Sorry baby. Don't say ever say that word okay." She apologized not surprised that the boy didn't respond to her.

Mason hadn't spoken in days. This entire situation hadn't been easy on either one of them.

Thinking about how frightened her little guy was made her want to break down. Her son was the most important thing in her life. Mason was her world.

She closed her eyes holding back the tears; she had sobbed enough in the past few years for a lifetime. Her son needed her to stay strong.

Molly let out a laugh feeling a small victory as her poor little bug finally came to life. She took a final glance in the review mirror making sure that Mason had remembered to fasten his seatbelt.

She smiled at the sight of the family dog sitting up beside Mason, a little fat female pug named Rocket. The poor dog was panting just as hot as her masters.

Molly made sure the coast was clear hoping that she could see as well as she thought she could around the small Uhaul trailer. The uhaul was hitched to the back of her bug blocking most of her view. She said a small prayer as she pulled out of the McDonalds' parking lot.

They had to eat cheap for this road trip, so cheap burgers and fries had been on the menu for days now. Luckly there was a McDonalds everywhere and that was often the easiest thing to get a five year old to eat.

She felt a little irresponsible letting Mason eat so much unhealthy food, but she reminded herself that it was just for this trip. As soon as they got settled she could get him back on a more well rounded diet.

Today all she'd managed to get down for lunch was a crappy salad and an iced tea. It had been the cheapest thing on the menu. At least Mason had eaten all of his chicken nuggets though. It seemed to be his favorite food and she'd hoped that it would cheer him up.

It would be okay, she reminded herself. Once they got to California and she was able to start her new job at Saint Thomas then everything would come together.

Charming, California seemed to be the perfect place to start anew. She'd sent in her application to several hospitals all over the country, but Charming had caught her eye and much to her relief the local hospital there had hired her on the spot with just a phone interview.

She'd chosen her new home partially for the name; Charming. It was silly she knew picking a home because of its name, but what better place than to start a new life than in a place called Charming?

At twenty seven years old, Molly Garrett finally felt like she was starting her life on her own terms.

She had faith that it would be a better life; a safer life for her son and her. She hoped and prayed that it would be a life that would hopefully be free of the violence they'd both long endured.

She'd escaped an almost six long years in a marriage from hell with a man who hit first and asked questions later.

Brian Parker had seemed like a sweet guy at first, Molly and he had met in college both in their final year. He had swept her off of her feet and had seemed to be a good match for her.

She'd been impressed by her husband when they first met. She's felt like he was a practical prince thanks to his affluence and his gentlemanly charm. She was just a poor girl on scholarship who had grown up in a trailer right outside of New Orleans with a single working mother and two siblings. She had come from so little and Brian had come from so much in comparison.

Brian came from a nice wealthy family; he had a promising future at a job at a nice well-established real estate firm. The job was at a firm that his family had owned for years. He'd grown up with privilege and he'd been so willing to share that privilege with Molly. He'd showered her with gifts and promises.

He had promised her a comfortable life with a nice safe home and a future full of children and maybe someday grandchildren. She could admit she'd been blinded by both the promises and the presents he'd bestowed upon her. He'd made her feel so special to be worthy of such expensive nice things. He'd given her jewelry and nice shopping sprees. It was more than she'd ever known. She felt like a fool looking back seeing how he'd showered her with such things and love bombed her as a way to lure her in

Two months after dating Brian, Molly had become pregnant. Soon after she'd found out she was carrying his child, they'd gotten married. She had been so excited starting a life with a man who she was sure would protect her from all of life's horrors.

It had turned out though that the only horror she would have to fear would be her husband.

The violence hadn't started until Mason was two. No he hadn't been always kind to her before that but it was the first time he'd put his hands on her at least in a violent act. He'd been belittling to her up until that point and sex had at times felt like something she was pressured into. She'd always blamed herself for his verbal abuse and had been in denial about the lack of consent in some of their sexual acts. She'd told herself she was ungrateful and horrible to deny him and when he'd insulted her she'd believed that it was her fault. She'd been taught to believe that she was so less worthy than him. She'd been conditioned to think that she was just the poor piece of trailer trash that he'd given an opportunity to rise above her station. When he lashed out at her, she told herself that it was her fault. The act of physical violence had stunned her.

Molly had excused the violence the first time it'd happened. She'd made excuses for her husband.

She'd tried to tell herself that Brian was under a lot of stress; his temper had just gotten the better of him. His father was his boss and he was the prodigal son expected to be a model employee and that wasn't easy when he was trying to support a young family.

Brian had apologized to her, promised her it would never happen again, but he'd lied. It seemed that his temper got the better of him over and over again. Soon the physical abuse was as just as regular of an occurrence and the emotional and sexual violence

It was the same cycle over and over again. He would apologize and claim he was a changed man or worst convince her that it had all been her fault really. When she thought about leaving he'd lure her back in. She would come back to him hoping against hope that this time would be different. It was insanity she knew; believing that each time would be different. Wasn't that the definition of insanity though; doing the same action over and over again expecting a different result?

She knew that she should have left the second Brian hit her but she'd been blinded by naïvety and a poor sense of self worth. Honestly she knew she should have been out the door the second he started to mistreat her verbally. She'd been blinded by him though. It felt as though she'd been under a spell.

Brian had killed her self-esteem telling her that no man would ever love her like him. No man would ever want her especially after she'd had a kid. She was his and that was that. He reminded her of how lucky she was; how privileged she was to have the life he provided.

Molly had had believed him for three long years. She'd hidden it all from family and friends and from Mason as well. She had played a happy loving wife pretending that her life was just peachy with her adorable son in her husband's nice old house.

Her breaking point had been when Brian had struck her in front of her baby. He'd had a long day at work and she'd made a mistake in his eyes by not having dinner waiting on the table when he got home.

Her brother had discovered the bruises on her body. Jack Garrett was no fool. Her brother knew about the violence and he'd tried to talk his baby sister into leaving time and time again. He'd even threatened to call the police.

Molly had finally started to see the light after that beating, and had started to listen to her brother. She had enlisted him in helping her leave, helping her find a job far away.

Brian found out about her plans to leave somehow, he had made her pay for ever thinking about leaving him. Bruising her body and cracking one of her ribs.

The abuse that night had been severe more severe than it had ever been. Mason had witnessed the entire thing.

The boy had witnessed his mother on the floor crying begging him to go upstairs and play. He'd watched as she'd cried out telling him that it was all okay when it clearly wasn't.

The boy had been silent since that night. Her body still ached from the violence her soon to be ex-husband had put her through.

It was as though a light switch had gone off in her brain when the violence had ended. She'd looked in the mirror studying her battered body when it hit her; she knew that she couldn't live like this. This wasn't a way to live; it was a way to die. If she stayed she would die and if she died her child would be left without his mother to protect him.

She had to save her baby from this life and from his father. She had no doubt that without her there to protect Mason, that Brian would turn the violence onto his child. He was already neglectful of the boy at best. Without her there to shield her child the anger Brian had inside him would have nowhere to find an outlet other than his son.

The morning after that beating, Molly's sister Candace had helped her pack up her things while Brian was at work. The two women had stuffed what little she had into a Uhaul trailer. She had left setting out west that night leaving her old life behind without a trace.

Candace had wanted her to stay in New Orléans, but Molly knew that she couldn't stay in Louisiana. The only way Mason and she would be safe would be if they disappeared.

That had been a week ago. Molly and Mason had been on the road for a week now and we're finally right outside of Charming heading for the rental home she'd recently signed the lease on.

The little house wouldn't be much; just a tiny two-bedroom house with one bathroom and a kitchenette and joined living area. It was dainty but in a quiet neighborhood.

Jack had found the rental for her; he'd been the one responsible for setting up her new life, arranging her lease and cosigning for her. She just hoped that someday she'd be able to find a way to repay her big brother. The home would not be much but it would be hers and that made it feel like a dream come true.

The little rental property was a big step down from the sprawling old plantation home that Brian and she had lived in for years. It had been in his family for decades a grand home that she had been so entranced by when they'd first married.

The people she knew had all been so jealous of her life; not realizing that it was a lie. Behind the old glorious home and fine lifestyle, it had been years of pain and fear.

She just hoped that the fear was over. The pain had to be over and it could never happen again, she told herself.

This was a new life. She knew that she had to make it work, not just for her but for Mason. Her baby boy deserved a good happy life. They both were worthy of a good life.

———————-

Molly rushed to get Mason ready for his first day of daycare. It was summer time so he wouldn't be able to start school for a few more months at least.

So for now the hospital's daycare would have to do. She had managed to land a job as a phlebotomist.

People were often a little freaked out once they found out that she drew blood for a living. She used to joke that she was the resident hospital vampire at her old job in Louisiana. She was always amazed Brian had even allowed her to maintain a job back home. She guessed he liked the way her job made him look. He'd been able to brag that his wife worked in healthcare and was so giving and kind. Her accomplishments at work made him sound better to those he wanted to impress. He'd been able to present them as a hardworking couple successful in their own careers. It was a career she loved. She knew now that her career was hers alone. She had worked hard for it. She was responsible for her accomplishments. Brian didn't get to take credit for her hard work.

She knelt down in front of Mason straightening his dark hair noticing that it had gotten a little too shaggy, but he wasn't too keen on hair cuts. His dark hair was one feature he'd inherited from his father.

For the most part Mason took after her; they shared the same hazel eyes, the same slightly round face, and the same smaller features such as their noses.

Molly spoke trying to sound cheerful and not stressed. "You're going to have a fun day today. You'll meet a ton of new friends, I bet. You're going to have such a blast. Maybe mommy can meet some new friends too. I bet we're both going to have a good day today."

Mason didn't reply. He only nodded his head as she leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

She pulled at her blue hospital scrubs knowing that she looked like hell. She hadn't had the time to straighten her hair, so she'd just pulled it back into a messy bun.

At least she'd managed to put on a little makeup though. So hopefully she didn't look like the walking dead. She knew she was exhausted though. She knew that the exhaustion would be all worth it. This was the first day of the rest of her life.

She hadn't had much time to unpack anything the night before. She'd spent all day before unloading the uhaul on her own. The first thing she'd made sure to do was unpack Mason's bedroom.

Her bed still remained disassembled and most of their belongings remained in boxes around the rental home. She had slept by Mason's side the night before, in his little bed on his Spiderman comforter. They'd eaten cheap pizza the night before surrounded by boxes and watching kid's movies on the portable dvd player she'd packed.

The little house was not what she'd hoped for. It was so hot inside that it felt like an oven. She had spent hours on the phone trying to get a hold of her landlord. She'd hoped that he could come take care of the problem, but so far she had been unsuccessful. He dodged her calls until finally making an excuse that it would take a while to get someone out to look at the problem. She'd been told that she was just one of the many properties her landlord owned, so she would have to be patient.

For now it seemed that Mason and she would just have to sweat it out and make do.

She took Mason's hand in hers as they left the house. She held the one hand that wasn't clutching his action figure.

The Spiderman toy seemed to be a comfort to him. He brought the toy everywhere he went. He even slept with it like it was some kind of teddy bear. She'd worried he might leave it at the daycare, but he seemed unwilling to even consider parting with it this morning. She was willing to allow him the comfort despite her concerns about a misplaced forgotten toy.

Molly turned on the radio to an alternative rock station as soon as they got into the car, hoping that she could entice Mason into his favorite activity. He loved to sing along with the radio though he was too young to get most of the lyrics right.

It always managed to make her smile seeing him sing along like he didn't have a care in the world. She lived to see her child happy. It had been the one thing that kept her going throughout her marriage to Brian. Her child had been a lifeline through the misery.

Her smile failed to come though as Molly glanced in the backseat and spotted her silent son.

She shook her head as she pulled out of her driveway hoping that maybe the daycare would help Mason come out of his shell.

She feared that Mason might never recover from what he'd witnessed. He was afraid, she knew that.

She had done her best to explain things to him in a way that a five year old would understand.

Molly had told him that they were going on an adventure, to a place called Charming. They were going somewhere where he would meet new people and get to live in a whole new house. She'd tried to sound upbeat and make it sound as though they were doing something so grand. She'd tried to keep positive hoping that it would hide her anxieties and fears.

She had been unsure what to say about Brian. Molly knew that the time would come when she would have to explain to Mason why he had seen daddy hurt mommy and why daddy wasn't here with them.

She just hoped that she could find a way to explain it all. It wasn't right, a five year old child having to see something that horrible. She felt so guilty for letting him witness it all. Deep down inside she knew Brian was the only one to blame for his actions. She knew she had been a victim in this.

She hated herself for exposing her beloved child to something so terrible though. She felt pure shame for allowing herself to stay with a monster out of fear.

Molly took a deep breath knowing that she would never allow that to happen again. No one would ever lay a hand on her or her baby ever again.

This was the right choice, she reminded herself. She was doing the right thing.

----------------------------------

Of course Molly's bug chose that morning to get a flat tire. She was just lucky that she made it to a garage before she got herself into a wreck. She had to think it was a miracle that there happened to be an auto mechanics close enough to reach. Perhaps God was looking out for her? She had to hope someone was looking out for her despite the flat tire.

Chibs Telford raised an eyebrow as a pathetic looking Volkswagen Bug pulled into the parking lot of TM Auto.

The car was a sad sight; the paint on the right side was chipped and fading and the transmission sounded just awful.

It was still early; the garage hadn't even opened yet. He had come in early though wanting to bury himself in his work to avoid thinking about his personal troubles. He was thankful for the work even if the garage was still technically not open. He knew that he could manage to get the owner of the car checked in and take care of business despite the closed sign on the door. He was grateful for the distraction of work. It was a relief to his over exhausted brain and aching heart.

Chibs made his way over to the car as it came to a stop and a young woman opened the drivers' side door giving him a smile.

"I've gotten myself into a real mess." Molly stated giving the man who was slowly approaching her a sheepish smile.

She ran reached up tucking her side bangs behind her ear as the man spoke. "I'd say I agree love. How are ya even runnin that thing?"

She raised an eyebrow a little taken back by his Scottish accent, and the word love. She had expected to hear neither from the mechanic. A Scottish accent was an odd thing to encounter in Northern California

Molly felt her cheeks flush as she found herself staring at the thin scars along the Scotsman's cheeks. She looked away fearing that he thought she was rude for staring. She mentally scolded herself for being so rude. She'd been raised with far better manners than to gawk at something someone couldn't help. She felt like a jerk for even staring away making so clear she'd been gawking.

Chibs wasn't surprised that she turned her eyes away from him after staring for a bit.

He had long ago become accustomed to people's reactions to the scars Jimmy O' had given him before he'd taken Chibs' family and banished him from Ireland.

The pain had finally ended now that he'd gotten his revenge. Now that Jimmy O' was dead and gone and he knew that his girls were safe.

He tried not to let his mind focus on his girls for too long. His girls made his heart ache more than ever lately. He knew they were safe but they were so far away. Things had changed between his girls and he so quickly.

Fiona and he had come to an agreement just a few months ago; their marriage was over. There wouldn't be a divorce on Fiona's insistence. In Catholicism marriage was a sacrament that couldn't be broken, so divorce wasn't an option...or that was what Fiona had claimed. Chibs felt bitter over the refusal to even consider the divorce. He felt bitter about it all to be honest. It hurt though he knew in the end it was right...ending the estranged relationship entirely...agreeing to just be coparents to Kerrianne.

It had hurt losing the wife he had so long pined for. No, he'd not been faithful to her during their time apart. He'd allowed himself to fall into the chaos of SAMCRO and the women who serviced the club. His heart had belonged to Fiona though. It felt painful to realize that his heart could no longer be hers. He had no idea where to place that love now.

At least he still got to see his Kerrianne. He made a trip to Belfast as often as he could to see his soon to be fifteen year old daughter, hoping that they could build the type of relationship a father and daughter should have.

Kerrianne had been told so many lies about her father, by Jimmy. It had been hard for Chibs to convince her that her da was a good man despite his status as an outlaw biker. He'd done his best to prove his love and devotion to her. He'd allowed her to remain in Belfast knowing it was her home. He'd sacrificed the chance to take her back to the states with him. He'd given up that dream letting her remain in her home knowing it was what she needed.

As time went by and Kerrianne and he became close. They spoke on the phone weekly and developed a relationship. He sent her gifts often. It felt as though a void that had long existed in his heart had finally been filled. He was getting a chance to be a father. He loved having his little girl back in his life again.

Chibs could admit that he was a little taken back by Molly's accent as well. It was distinctly southern; strange to hear in Northern California.

He was also taken back by the woman's features; he would be lying if he tried to say that she wasn't a beautiful woman.

She wasn't very tall she barely came up right at the center of his chest. Although she was petite she had a nice figure, full hips and breasts. He could spot the figure even in the unattractive scrubs she wore. Her hair was a dark blonde; almost the color of honey and her eyes were a pretty hazel.Her complexion was milky and smooth looking. Her hands seemed petite and her short nails were painted a lovely shade of lilac.

He found himself glancing down at her left hand at her ring finger. He was a little shocked that there was no ring there. Still though that didn't mean that she was single.

A girl like that had to have a man somewhere. He felt foolish for even looking for a ring. He knew that even if she had no man in her life. she would probably never want a man like him. It was a foolish hope thinking of her in that way; checking for signs of her being available. He felt like an old fool for even considering her relationship status.

It was her smile that really caught his attention. It was friendly despite the fact that Chibs often intimidated people given his appearance and his ties to Samcro. Usually people didn't smile at him. She had a pleasant smile though her eyes looked tired. He was not accustomed to people smiling at him so politely. The smile made him feel warm inside. He felt silly for the thought; feeling a soft cozy glow under her gaze.

Chibs snapped out of admiring her looks as he managed to speak. "Looks like ya hit a nail on the back right tire... and yer transmission is shite."

"Yeah...like I said, I've gotten myself into a mess...and now I'm late for my first day of work...great." She replied though the last part of her statement seemed to be more to herself than to him.

He was shocked as she opened the backseat and leaned in helping a little boy out of the car. The boy was tiny; delicate. Chibs was certain the kid was small for his age. The boy seemed healthy at least; his hair was dark, loose shaggy curls that made him look angelic. His eyes were identical to Molly's hazel bright and clear. The boy held on to Molly's hand staying close to his mother.

Chibs felt a sense of embarrassment realizing that he'd just cursed in front of a child. Sure he had done far worse in his life but he was sure that the boy's mother wouldn't appreciate his language. He grimaced sure he was about to get an earful about the foul language in front of a child even if had only been one word.

He did his best to give the boy a smile as he spoke up hoping to smooth over any upset he may have caused the kid's mom. "Sorry I said a bad word little lad."

Mason stared wide-eyed at the strange man not saying a word. He moved behind his mother's form hiding from Chibs' gaze.

Molly cleared her throat quickly speaking up trying to explain her son's silence hoping that the Scot didn't take it as rudeness. "He's shy."

Chibs nodded his head understanding. He'd found that most kids that didn't know him well enough were just as intimidated by him as adults were. Which he could admit was hurtful. He had always loved children. He had loved his nephew back in Belfast when the lad had been growing up. He'd spent so much time with him and had appreciated being involved in his life. Now though he knew that most kids tended to shy away from him. They took one look at his face and felt fear. He had found comfort in the Teller boys at least. He liked being Uncle Chibs to them. It had felt healing to be around the boys. He knew Jimmy O' had not taken being Uncle Chibs from him at least when it came to the Teller boys...his heart ached knowing that Jimmy O' had taken his nephew from him though.

Chibs pulled his mind from thoughts of his late nephew as he spoke nodding back to the poor Volkswagen. "We're a bit backed up ere, but I can get yer car in this afternoon. Don' know how long it'll take though, Love. Like I said, we're a wee bit backed up. Lotta wrecks last week, lots of folks coming through for summer trips getting into wrecks. Plus we gotta a few custom bike jobs ahead of ya. I can't promise fast work, but we'll get ya fixed up anyhow."

Molly gave him a smile thankful that her car would be repaired and not break down on her anymore. She spoke taking a look at the name stitched into his gray works shirt: Chibs, she found herself unsure if she should call him that or not. She was quite certain the man's parents had not given him such a name. "Thank you so much...uhm.."

Chibs raised an eyebrow realizing that she was asking his name. He took himself by surprise saying his real name and not the name everyone but his family called him. "Filip."

"Filip." She repeated causing him to do something else that he found astonishing. He felt a genuine smile develop across his face. He couldn't help but to like the sound of his name on her lips.

She spoke again reaching out to take his hand. "I'm Molly and this is Mason."

Chibs nodded in response as he took her hand in his giving it a firm shake, unable but to enjoy how soft her skin felt against his calloused hands.

He was shocked that he was so reluctant to let go of her hand. He shook his head wondering what had gotten into him.

Maybe it was just that he'd been alone for too long. He found himself unable to really get back into the biker lifestyle once Fiona and he had agreed to end their relationship.

All those years Fiona and he had been estranged he had found himself easily falling into a pattern, booze and croweaters.

He'd sleep with any one of the girls who hung around the clubhouse, a different girl just about every night.

Nights of drunken sex with women whose names he couldn't even remember by the next morning no longer felt fulfilling to him.

After Fiona and he had agreed to end their marriage, Chibs had found that he could not sink back into the life of meaningless sex with crow eaters. He had discovered that he just didn't enjoy it anymore. It felt cheap and it made him feel empty. At first he thought that maybe he was just getting old, but then he'd realized something.

He was lonely. He longed for something more, something real. He watched Jax with Tara and Gemma with Nero and he felt so alone. He laid in bed at night without anyone by his side and fretted over his future. He had come to the realization he would die alone without love. He'd so long hoped Fiona and he would reunite but that dream was dead and he knew it was for the best...but it still hurt. He had finally realized that he was truly alone. It was a realization that made his heart ache and yearn.

He felt so foolish but as he stared at the pretty blonde he found himself wondering what it might be like to lie by her side at night. He shook the thought from his mind knowing he was just an old fool. There was no way a woman like her would ever lie by the side of a man like him.  

Molly spoke up as she stared down at her cheap red plastic watch unaware of Chibs' inner turmoil. "Is there a phone I can use?...I need to get a rental car and I need to call Saint Thomas Hospital and explain why I'm late."

Chibs nodded his head not astonished by her workplace. The scrubs made it obvious, there was only one hospital in Charming. He sighed more sure than ever now that she would never have the time of day for him. She was a responsible adult with an important job who would not be interested in the outlaw biker. Sure, he knew Tara had loved Jax despite her mainstream job, but there was history there. Chibs knew he held no history with Molly. They were from two different worlds. She would not want anything to do with his world. 

"I can have someone give ya a lift to the car rental place. As far as a phone, I'm sure I can sort that out too." Chibs stated as he turned getting the attention of one of the prospects motioning over to the man.

He spoke to Ratboy as the man came up to him. "Can ya take Molly and her boy ere down to Davis Rentals, and let er use yer cell too. She needs to call her work."

Molly widened her eyes a little surprised by the friendly gesture of allowing her to borrow a cell phone.

She spoke hoping that it was clear just how thankful she was for the kind action. "Thank you, Filip. I appreciate it more than you know."

Chibs ignored the look on Ratboy's face as he spoke the smile once again developing along his face. "Yer welcome, Love. Just leave yer number with Ratboy here and We'll get to ya when yer cars ready."

Molly nodded trying not to show how strange she thought that the man who was giving her a ride was called Ratboy. What was it with this place and the employee's nicknames? "Thank you so much."

And with that she let the prospect lead her and her son away to a tow truck.

Chibs watched her walk away cursing the yearning in his heart. He told himself he was an idiot for the feeling. He was trying to bat out of his league and he was too beaten down and worn to even dream that he could charm her. Charming her would be foolish. She was a mother and most likely just saw him as the older dirty mechanic who had been providing good customer service.

Chibs was surprised as Mason turned to face him looking at him through the back window as the tow truck pulled away. Mason did the last thing Chibs' had expected considering the kid's silence. He stared as Mason waved.

Chibs raised his hand waving back without having to even think about the action.

He shook his head as the tow truck faded out of view. He let out a sigh trying to knock Molly and her boy out of his mind.

As lovely as he found Molly, there was no point in daydreaming about her ever giving him the time of day.

A girl like that didn't need a man like him.

[outpost51]

The 51 Post

Figured I'd start some kind of digest!

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed:

I've got a taglist form now! Because who doesn't love a good form?

BRHP: Chapter 14 posted; Atria learns the meaning of touch starvation and really, really misses her dad.

WIP Intro: Caught in the Crossfire (18+)

WIP Intro: The Arsonist Chronicles (18+)

WIP Whenever (Open Tag): BRHP chapter 15 snippet; pop pop is having a time time

Crossing Over: the 5th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; a new player has entered the fray, and a familiar face reappears.

Vampire Council lore and vampire origins lore

Aria/Omega snippety snip

This Week's Jams:

friends like these || Brassie [spotify/youtube]

Little Girl Gone || CHINCHILLA [spotify/youtube]

EVERGREEN || PVRIS [spotify/youtube]

Eyes on Fire || Gold Souls [spotify/youtube]

WHEN THE PARTY'S OVER || Cami Petyn [spotify/youtube]

Lizard Lady || Laura Doggett [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns:

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 15 should be coming out later today, with 16 slated for release sometime late this week or early next week. I'm finally in the chapters that don't require a ton of rewrites; most of what I've been doing is adding content. The whole thing is outlined through chapter 30 though! Since this is my entry for WIP Big Bang, updates will "stop" at chapter 18, since that's what I had published before the rewrites. After that, you'll have to wait for the release date! Which also means I have to wait for the release date for the serotonin, and that's going to be a nightmare.

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

At this point, it's just a matter of making myself work on it. About a third of chapter 9 is written and the entirety of Act II is outlined.

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

nervous laughter

Stellar Parallax

Fuck, I missed this WIP. I missed Jane especially, she's so fun to write -- I'm about a third of the way into chapter 9 and it seems to be flowing pretty well? I just wanna get to the part where she and Saren beat the shit out of each other LMAO

Lighthouse in the Fog

Dunno if y'all saw, but the lighthouse keeper stories have a tag and a tentative title now! It's going to remain as a series of loosely connected shorts, and that may very well be what I end up doing with Xatal as well. Anyway, we have some lore groundwork laid! Look out for the 6th short later today!

In the Works

I still have questions in my inbox that I am absolutely getting to! I've also got a bunch of unanswered tags in my drafts and Notion. Losing a week and a half of planned answer time threw my schedule WAY off. Submission for SSSC #006 is in the planning stage. Hannah and the MILF Squad Get Up To No Good is about 30% written and fully outlined. I have... so many Kryterius prompts left to fill, and so many more spotify wrapped prompts left, send help. Still working on separating out the Daddy Issues smutshots, hoping to finish up the rewrites for the F!Shali one before the end of July. TIPYNTS is most likely going to come out in October, and by then I'm hoping to have a backlog of chapters to make posting more consistent.

From the Skwad:

Door's always open! 18+ writing server for both fanworks and original works! Camp is starting soon! We also have a flash fiction challenge and three bingo cards running until the end of the month!

@teamdilf continues to absolutely baffle me with her productivity here we go: A Cheesy Situation is now complete, ch 16 of Alice's Adventures in Andromeda is live, ch 18 of The In-Laws and the Grandparents is live, A Night in the IKEA dropped which I'm absolutely dying over, and that's not even all of it. holy shit J i don't know how you do it but i'll have whatever you're having thx

@thetrashbagswasteland dropped ch 4 of the Sunseeker rewrite and I'm adsfdafdadsf yes. thank you king

@sparatus is tearing me to fucking pieces with Make Less the Depth of Grief. i hate you (i love you)

@uraniumwriting also obliterated me with their FFF entry.

@wrathbites is back and I'm literally beside myself I missed the Vampire AU so fucking much.

oops @commander-krios got me invested in Star Wars please look at this.

@starknstarwars updated Smuggler's Ruin aaaaaaaaaaaaa

A few of our members participated in Shenko Summer!! @dandenbo wrote Volta and @mrsd-writes wrote both We Got Here the Hard Way and Forever Home!

@regalbois dropped a new original oneshot and has been going bananas over Bioshock lately and gifting us MORE mlm deliciousness, ch 3 of Magnum Opus went live last night.

@inflarescent has a new wippppp aaaaaaa -- intro post for The Roulette Paradox here!

@discoeffect updated Far From Any Road and I am devouring the first book so I can read this one!!

Around the 'Blr:

Have you checked out the Writeblr Directory or Writeblr Cafe yet?

I'm literally still thinking about @captain-kraken's Heitha translator.

@void-botanist dropped some witch lore I'm eating with a spoon.

@tc-doherty ALSO popped off with the conlang.

The dates IRL are lining up with the dates in @elshells's Agent Ace EXCITING also a new chapter is dropping probably by the time I post this lmao

@liv-is dropped this GOLDMINE of relationship writing tips also TIL what Liv does for a living not sorry

@writernopal first of all made me absolutely CRY being sweet in the tags last night and also dropped an aasoaf 3 sneep while i was composing this thank you my friend i needed the energy snack

did y'all see Find the Word XVIII from @artdecosupernova-writing i'm going FERAL

@tabswrites's Silver Sentinels has a second chapter, I am VIBRATING

@oh-no-another-idea just slid in with this little diddy that i LOVE.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where I give myself stupidly niche requests according to this marvelous card… or something. It’s been three years dawg. (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled).

Besides, if I didn't mess up in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.

This fic is quite a long time in the making. I started working on it last year, before I even had the idea for Rice Vinegar, a previous entry in this bingo card series. I was reading/catching up to the absolute banging series that is Brimstone in my Garden, Roses set on Fire by @inkblackorchid. I was on my yearly YGO kick, this time mostly 5D's-related (it's either 5D's or Arc-V, I've come to notice) and reading Snapping Jaws and Piercing Horns (which you absolutely should read, btw, but I have a sneaking suspicion that, if you're reading this, then you've at least heard of SJPH), when the idea for this fic came to me. I really like the friendship between Aki and Crow that the series sets up during the WRGP arc, because it's got my two favourite 5D's characters involved and also it's got canonical whump material linked to it and I'm a sucker for that stuff. Everything was here for success; I was unemployed at the time so I had a bunch of free time on my hands, the inspiration was crisp and I could fuck around and find out with writing new characters I hadn't before. Issue: I hated what I was actually writing.

Since I was reading InkBlackOrchid's works, I was like "God, I need it to be as good as hers". Problem is, I don't have her writing style at all, all the while I was somehow attempting to pastiche how she writes Aki's POV. The result was a very spiteful narration that doesn't even fit Aki at this point of her character development or even the story I was trying to tell in the first place, and a lot of clumsy descriptions. It was bad, y'all. Now, that was the first draft. I had abandonned it at first, thinking I'd just never do anything with it nor with the idea I had, but I just happened to look at my AO3 subscriptions, remembered the banger 5D's fic series, and finally went on InkBlackOrchid's Tumblr. Reading her Autopsy of Crow series of posts reminded me of my WIP and made me want to finish it so I could throw my two cents in the 5D's fight.

I mention Brimstone in my Garden, Roses set on Fire this much because my love for this series is a genuine explanation for some elements of this fic. I like its version of canon so much I wrote established Faithship into this fic as if they were actually dating by this time of the series, forgetting that actually didn't happen in 5D's proper. Sorry not sorry on that front, btw, I've always shipped them and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon. The very first version of this idea wasn't even going to delve into Aki losing her powers after her crash pre-Team Catastrophe (my very own guilty pleasure of a duel, I actually really like it lol), but since I was so inspired by something that did, I figured I had to tackle the question as well. I hope it doesn't fall flat on its face. Be Careful what you Wish for had me by the gametes.

Wow, I had a lot of things to say for something that's kind of just whump I decided to write on a whim like a year ago, huh. I don't even know if my characters sound right (as in, I think my Aki is OOC, she's too open if that makes sense?), it's my first rodeo and it's scary but hey, getting out of your comfort zone is how you improve, ain't it? I don't know if this story is good, I didn't really rewatch 5D's before writing it, just pantsed it out based on memory and what I rewatched earlier this year (I think it was this year? I remember writing a post for my side Tumblr back then mentioning Max Verstappen out of all people and I wasn't into F1 until late 2023. Anyway).

-------------------------------

Outside the Comfort Zone

Summary: Aki passes by Yusei and Co.'s living quarters to retrieve a copybook. Crow makes it way harder than it has any right to be. (or: a recently-ish powerless Aki finds herself having to care for a very stubborn, unwell Crow, and it goes as well as you'd expect.)

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's (set during the WRGP arc)

Word Count: 4K words

AO3 version available here.

Event run by @badthingshappenbingo

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There’s something off with the garage of Poppo’s Time, today.

Oh, of course, most of it is obvious: the air’s still, there’s a distinct lack of mechanical clicking and Yusei isn’t here. It’s a minutia of various little details that, added together, make the entire place tilt forty-five degrees to the left.

It’s, unfortunately, not just these which make her feel this way. Frankly, if it was, Aki would’ve already gone out the door and back home. She’s just here to recover a copybook and it should’ve only taken her mere minutes to do that; yet there she is, ten minutes after stepping on the other side of the door, still without her biology copybook, still in a home that isn’t hers, and unsure of where to take the situation next.

The reason might just be the odd-looking Crow that’s standing in the way between her copybook and her.

Is she friends with said Crow? Yes? Maybe? “Friends” sounds a bit strong for their relationship, she’d say; there are no strangers to each other, and she likes sharing a room with him enough to consider them on friendly terms, but they don’t share enough emotional intimacy for them to be friends. At least, that’s how she sees it – maybe he sees it another way.

(Or maybe they’re already friends, and she’s just too afraid of rejection to admit it to herself – better be safe than sorry, even around the most transparent person she knows).

Whatever their relationship is, what Aki knows without much doubt is that Crow isn’t looking like himself. His stance is slouched and unsteady, his hand is holding the doorway just a little too tight for comfort and his eyes look mussed. It’s like his gaze, while explicitly trying to focus on her, is instead looking at something right behind her – as if seeing through her, which is a thought Aki truly has no time to unpack.

“Oh, hi Aki,” he tells her with an indignant wave, head bobbing along with the sway of his hand.

“Goo – good afternoon.”

His smile turns into a puzzled expression, which doesn’t help the impression she’s gotten so far. He looks around, his left eye twitching and his brow furrowed, then looks back at her when it seems like he hasn’t found what he wanted.

“You not hangin’ out with Yusei?”

Aki almost freezes.

“What do you mean?” She asks back, a shiver going down her spine.

Crow’s brow furrows even further, finally pointing her in the direction of the dark rings under his eyes.

“What do you mean, what do you mean? You come here to hang with Yusei, right?”

“He’s… He’s not here, Crow,” her voice staggers against her will. “He’s in Peru with Jack. I just came her to get a copybook I forgot here.”

The reminder, as useless as it should’ve been, seems to have confused him even further.

“Why the fuck would they go to Peru?” Crow asks, anger sipping in his tone. “That’s on the other side of the damn planet!”

He then hacks a lung out, prompting Aki to jump out. It’s harsh, not unlike the coughs she’d get when she was ill as a child and it seemed like the world was melting around her, psychic powers mixing in with the fever – the powers who, like so many people before, have abandoned her.

The silence is too heavy. She can’t let herself falter now. She may be in danger – scratch that, she’s fine, Crow is the one who needs help as far as she’s concerned. They’re friends, or as close as it gets, and she needs to step up now that his foster brothers aren’t here.

“They’re there to follow on a lead Bommer gave them.”

Her heart sinks a little further when all she sees is confusion. In fact, anything she says seems to result in confusion.

“How? That guy’s dead, y’know,” he gulps with a wince. “I know. I watched it happen. And, like, the dead don’t send emails.”

It’s an understandably difficult thing to swallow, she’ll give it to him. To this day, and despite her (former) psychic powers and links to the extrasensory through her Signer’s Mark, she still has little idea how Carly or Misty have managed to rise from the dead. It’s beyond either of their comprehension.

What shouldn’t be for Crow, however, is the whole travel thing. He was there when Yusei and Jack announced they were going. He must’ve been there to fret over them and their budget like Jack likes to complain about. So how come he cannot remember any of this? Why is he so—

“What time is it already?” Crow asks out of the blue.

It takes her aback, but she looks over her phone screen anyway.

“It’s fifteen to six in the evening.”

His face gets splattered in surprise.

“Shit! I’ve got a shift to attend to!”

“What shi—”

His hand lets go of the doorway.

“Sorry to leave this quick, Aki, I’m in a hurry—”

He walks past her, but before he can make it past her, he folds in half into another coughing fit. Fearing the worst, Aki runs to catch him with her arms, the click of her heels almost hiding the harsh sound of his cough. Heat sips through his clothes and through her gloves, ringing the final alarm that finally allows her to deduce what it was that bothered her so much about his appearance.

Despite the audible pain in his breath and the grimace on his face when he moves his arms, Crow still tries rising to his feet on his own. He weakly bats her away with his hands, but he has to lean against the nearest wall to stay upright. It’s an unreal sight, knowing how stubborn and enduring he truly is. Where is the man who was driving with an injured shoulder mere weeks ago?

“Is this shift really that urgent?” She makes no attempt at hiding her ever-growing concern. “You don’t seem like in any state to go to work…”

“What day of the week are we on?” is all he says back to her.

“It’s… Wednesday? Why?”

Crow’s face finally lights up.

“Oh! I’ve got some time ahead of me then.” He chuckles, but it dissolves into a cough, and she can’t keep her grimace to herself. “I thought we were Monday, for some reason?”

“You honestly seem very out of it,” she ends up bluntly stating instead of going along. “I really don’t think you should go work today.” Or tomorrow.

“Can’t afford not to,” he croaks back, but it lacks any sort of sting.

What looks to her like a dizzy spell ends up taking his resolution out, his whole body pitching forward. Once more, almost in rhythm, her body moves on its own as a result, her arms catching him in his fall.

Heat lingers on her hands even after she has finished bringing him to his room.

Unlike most of Team 5Ds, Aki has never had to care for someone else. She has none of Yusei’s instinct for help nor Crow’s experience with dealing with children. Usually, when faced with this sort of situations, she’d entrust the person in need of care to someone with a lot more ease in this domain – as it turns out, most of the time, it’s asking Jack’s childhood friends to handle his problems, much to his protests. As such, she’s never had to play nursemaid before, and nobody has trusted her with such a role until Yusei came along, and for once, she hadn’t wanted that to change (except for Yusei, but this is a situation that’s unrelated to her current predicament).

Whatever she’s used to, unfortunately, is now out of the realm of possibility. The two people she could ask about it on any other occasion where the need could rise up are respectively currently in Peru with terrible reception and too busy refusing to stay in bed for much longer than a minute to give her a precious hand.

And, you know, you don’t usually ask someone who’s sick to take care of themselves, let alone help you in the process.

Very much to her misfortune, this is all without taking into account that Crow is as stubborn as a patient as he is in every other thing. It was to be expected, of course, and Crow is nothing if not stubborn; but it hasn’t made anything easier. If anything, she should’ve seen it coming as soon as he was too beyond himself to know where his housemates were and why.

Still, it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t try her best in this situation. What friend would she be if she left a comrade in need on his own, harmful to himself? (And she craves for empathy, a part of her whispers, the part of her who misses her powers for the bond she enjoyed having with Black Rose).

Despite a losing battle against his own voice and the way his limbs tremble whenever he tries holding himself out of bed, Crow is insisting that, no, he’s fine to go work, and she has no reason to worry, because it’s not his first rodeo… or something along those lines. Admittedly, it’s difficult to understand everything when he’s struggling to push the sentence out of his throat to begin with, let alone articulate his thoughts.

All that ends up doing as a result is annoying her, because this is oh so similar to Yusei but in all the wrong ways, but that’s once more beside the point. She isn’t here to lash out her annoyance at Crow being an idiot, she’s here to make sure he doesn’t die an idiot.

“I’m tellin’ you, I’m fine,” he whines, a hand already back at gripping the edge of the blanket.

“Why are you so insistent on pretending you are?”

(She doubts it’s because of a martyr syndrome like Yusei’s).

“I’m not pretendin’ anythin’. I’m actually fine.”

His voice is feeble, his words tremble out of his mouth.

“Crow, I know you’re not. Please stop making this harder than it has to be.”

He deflates with a single, wheezing sigh.

“It’s Satellite nature, I guess,” he shrugs with a slight smile. “Both Yusei and Jack got it too, y’know.”

“Speaking of Yusei, right now you’re just like him in that regard.” She lets herself sigh. “Pretending like you’re fine when all signs point to the contrary.”

“Yeah, it’s… Y’know, when you were sick in Satellite, unless you had someone to shelter you and cover your back, ‘t was like signin’ your death certificate.” He coughs again, and it keeps dragging on, worsening, and it pangs at her heart every single time. “Guess that never went away, even now.”

“Even for something like a work shift?”

“Especially for a work shift. Do y’know how tight our finances are? Jack sure don’t seem to, that asshole!” A barking cough interrupts him. “Fuck this shit, I could be literally anywhere else but here. Plus…” He turns to her, and despite the evident weariness on his face and in his eyes, his gaze is sharp. “You should be doin’ better things with your time than watching over me, though.”

Aki rises an eyebrow.

“Such as?”

He shrugs again as a response.

“I dunno. Studyin’. Playin’ cards. Drivin’ a D-Wheel. Tryin’ to… sort through what mess that must’ve been for you, these past few weeks.”

The last bit hits her a lot harder than the previous ones. Having to replace Crow in haste due to a mysterious crash, the conflicting sentiment of her first race as a member of Team 5Ds, her own crash, and now, having to grapple with the sudden and unexplained disappearance of her powers… It’s been a lot of turmoil. Too much, in fact.

Despite all of the pain, it’s somewhat heartwarming to have someone genuinely worry for her, even if it tugs at an uncomfortable heartstring. It means she has the company she so desperately looked for and thought to have found in Divine, now truthful and actually what she needed. Yet, she feels uneasy when she has to show vulnerability in front of them, afraid of what they could take advantage of, of hidden intentions that may be hiding beneath a smile. Letting go of her masks has been terrifying, even if it’s the right thing to do.

For the longest time, she could protect herself with her powers. They were her curse, they were her blessing. They made her unlike the others but allowed her to connect with Black Rose and all of her deck. She misses them even now as she’s within the warmth of Team 5Ds; who don’t judge her for them like the others. Who care for her, like Yusei has ever since meeting her, like Crow is at the moment. Even in pain, they care.

The least she can do is pay them back now that gets the chance to. Now that her powers have left her more vulnerable than ever and created a void she can’t seem to fill on her own.

“I’ll be fine not brooding about it for a while,” is all she tells him in response.

Because it’s the truth. Sometimes, letting the dark clouds consume you is worse. It’ll always be worse, no matter how easy it looks.

“You sure? Because watching over an ill guy gets boring real fast.” He gives her a small smile. “I’d know, I’m usually the one doing the watching.”

She replies with a smile of her own.

“A bit of calm would do the both of us some good, I believe, after all that happened.”

He closes his eyes with a deep sigh.

“Can’t go against that, I guess.”

“Take some rest. I’ll be here by the time you wake up.”

It’s not intended to be a lie to make him feel better about sleeping.

“If you’re lookin’ for it, the medicine is in the cabinet in the bathroom. Pretty sure we got the right stuff at least.”

“I’ll go get it.”

That, and a basin of water, and everything she can remember from hazy memories of childhood illnesses.

Yusei once told her to write down thoughts that were confusing to her, as a way to at least alleviate the black clouds in her mind. He helped her pick a cute-looking notebook for it too, just the size of her uniform pockets, red with an embroidered rose on top of it. It seemed too fitting not to pick it, and Yusei seemed even happier about it than she was. She isn’t sure if what she’s writing in it right now makes sense, but it feels nice to have a place where to dump all of the thoughts that’d usually fester and poison her mind nonetheless.

The loss of her powers continues to leave her at a loss. The best way she can describe the feeling is a bittersweet void it’s left behind: she’s finally normal, like she wished for so long when pretending to be a witch, yet now that she is, it’s like this life wasn’t for her. She misses the bond she had with her Monsters, now that she can’t caress Black Rose Dragon like she could for so long. It makes her feel lonelier in a way that’s wrong to her. It’s like she never knew what she actually wanted out of life, out of the world.

Writing down this loss, this void and this coldness is what’s helping her process some of it. It onsets the way the melancholy would’ve taken ahead of her before she met Yusei and the others. It allows her some lookback and to keep her head out of the water until she can find a solution or get used to a new situation. It feels… soothing, at times, despite it just being scribbles on paper.

A hand strangles her arm, her hands lets go of her pen, her notebook falls to the ground.

“What—”

“Who the hell are you?!”

Shaken, she stares back at her assailant – a frazzled-looking Crow, his eyes glazed over and his pupils dilated. His breathing is erratic, coming out in little wheezes, his teeth gritting.

“I…”

Aki has no idea what to do. A stranger attacking her is no surprise, but a friend? Clearly, something is very wrong with Crow, and she has trouble connecting the dots as to why he’s in such a state. Did she not look after him hard enough? Is she just as neglectful as she was when she was isolated and lost, manipulated, used as a weapon? Is this retribution for that, to be forgotten by those she cherishes?

He lets go of her arm, seemingly against his will – it seems like he doesn’t have enough strength left to actually fight her. She can hardly breathe normally, every gasp of air coming quicker than the last, but she has to compose herself back anyway. She’s the one who’s supposed to fix things here, and now, she doesn’t want to destroy anyone further. Perhaps she can still find redemption.

“What’re you doin’ here?!”

Crow’s voice is unsteady, made all the worse by the cough that’s dried it into being hoarse, and his words slur together, making him very difficult to understand. Aki wishes she knew what do say back, but…

“I’m – I’m looking after you,” she explains back, because calming him down seems like a good idea.

He cocks an eyebrow at her, doubt just barely readable in his half-closed eyes.

“Who’re you?”

“I’m Aki. I’m Yusei’s girl… I’m his friend. I’m your friend.”

His hands grab at her shoulders.

“What’s tellin’ me you are, huh?!”

She looks around the room, trying to ignore how uncomfortable the pressure from his knuckles on his shoulders are, and the heat sipping from them almost right into her skin, before finding a sign of reassurance.

“See this basin of water?” She points it with her finger, he follows it to the bottom of the chair where she sits. “It’s mine. I was trying to keep your fever in check.” That sounded like a good idea, at the time. “I’m admittedly… not great at it, unlike you are, but I’m trying.”

His gaze slightly clears up – and then his eyes flutter close and don’t open up, leaving him in her arms once more.

It’s sort of a wake-up call for Aki, as she puts him back to bed. She should’ve kept a keener eye, but instead got lost in thoughts. She was so sure she had done all of the right things already, yet there she is, only realizing after the fact she wasn’t careful by being attacked by a delirious guy who mistook her for the enemy. Talk about failing at the mission you assigned yourself.

She takes off her gloves and puts a hand on his forehead – his fever has gone back up when she wasn’t looking. It makes sense, miserably so. But this is no time to mop for herself, she must be more like Yusei. She must help out her friend even if she has her own issues. She can’t do anything about her powers, but she can do something so Crow doesn’t have to see things that aren’t there.

So she picks up the washcloth that fell onto his lap and twists it cold again, determined to correct her mistakes.

Aki is staring at Crow when he finally opens his eyes again. They’re clear, able to follow the way her hair sways when she backs up from the bed and back into the chair. Her back is trying to make her pay for the unnatural positions she made it endure, but it’ll have to bear through it for a bit. She’s not letting him down now.

“Hey,” he tells her, stifling a cough.

“Glad to see you awake again,” she confesses. “How are you?”

“Erh… Sore. Sick. You know the deal.” He sits up with the help of the headboard of the bed. “How long was I asleep for?”

“I’d say… an hour or so.”

“And you’re still here?” He chuckles, even if it dissolves yet again into a coughing fit. “Gah, forgot how much that sucked.”

“I… I didn’t want to leave you alone like this.”

“Don’t worry, I went through worse. I’m a big bird, I can deal with it on my own.”

The way she’s staring back at him must’ve looked suspicious, because he looks concerned, now, and it’s like cold water seeping through her socks.

“Hey… Did something happen?”

“No, nothing. It’s… it’s not important.”

“Tch, you’re like Yusei. ‘Not important’ my ass.”

“I don’t think I should tell you about it.”

“You’re not makin’ your case any easier. Shoot ahead anyway.”

Aki looks at her hands on her lap, her knuckles almost white. Her skin looks slightly red, especially without her gloves.

“You weren’t yourself earlier,” she manages to get out, “and you thought I was some sort of enemy.”

She can’t bring herself to look up and see what his reaction to that is. Her head’s weighing heavily on her neck.

“Shit, did… I did something to you, right?”

“You… You tried to attack me, yes,” and she realizes how bad that sounds, “but it’s nothing. You weren’t yourself and it wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound like you are, though… Shit, I’m so sorry, Aki…”

She rises a careful eye, only to see pain distort Crow’s pallid face.

“It shouldn’t have happened,” she replies. “I should’ve done a better job.”

“Hey. Look at me, Aki.”

Hesitantly, she does – and finds no anger, no disappointment in Crow’s eyes, only compassion.

“You didn’t have to put up with my shit, and I was trying to push you away, but you did it anyway. Attacking you was wrong no matter what. You’ve got a lot to deal with at the moment and none of this is me. Don’t beat yourself up for not handlin’ everythin’ perfectly.” He smiles. “So, thanks, Aki. Don’t worry about good ol’ me, I’ll handle myself from now on.”

Silence follows.

“Though I get why you’d doubt that. We don’t really have a good track record when it comes to that stuff, do we.”

“Not really, no,” she manages to chuckle. “But friends need to trust each other.”

“You catch on quick!” He coughs into his elbow. “I’m sure it’s starting to get late, your parents may be worried. You should head home.”

“Can I… Can I stay here for a little longer? At least until Bruno comes back from whatever errand he may be running. I’d… feel better if I knew someone could watch you over.” Like she’d like it if she was as vulnerable as Crow is right now. “It keeps me occupied too.”

He gives her a sympathetic look from which she wants to recoil, but stops herself from doing.

“Make yourself a home, then. Yusei’s bedroom should be available.”

He winks, right in time for her face to warm up.

“Thank you, Crow.”

“If you need an ear to talk to and I ain’t sleepin’, don’t hesitate, okay? I promise I won’t bite your head off this time.”

“I’ll keep it in mind, thanks.”

She doubts she’ll bother him with this when all she’s tried to make him do today was resting, but she very much appreciates the reminder. It’s always nice to know she’s not only accepted, but also cared for by people whose honest intentions she can be sure of.

It’s making her feel welcome, and just for that, she’s more thankful – her and her missing powers, her and her conflicting feelings it, her and her past that she’s just now feeling comfortable with disclosing anything about. Her and the ghost that may continue pursuing her in the future, but which are leaving her mostly unscathed for now.

Perhaps that’s what home is – and it may just take the shape of a friend’s bedroom, or of a garage.

[pipermca]

K-9: Part 1

For this year's TF Big Bang event, I originally started off with a different idea than the one I ended up running with. However, I did write about 7500 words of this idea before giving it up as far too long for me to finish in the time available.

That said, I'm still interested in working on this fic, but I don't know when I'll have the time or energy. So I'm working on cleaning up what I do have of this story, and I'll serialize it here. If I end up writing any more, I'll add it here. (This post will contain the first instalment, as well as act as the index/masterpost for the whole thing.) In later instalments there will be illustrations, since this story idea was partially based on a toy. (And man, if I had a IDW2 MP-scaled Barricade figure, I'd be able to do a LOT of illos. 😄).

Enjoy.

No content warnings. Relationships: Barricade & Prowl, Bluestreak & Prowl, Prowl & OC

******************

Part 1

"After we turn in our reports, did you want to come to the Rusty Strut with me and the others?" Barricade asked.

Prowl settled on his wheels. "No."

"Aww, come on." Barricade swerved slightly to chime his fender against Prowl's. "You never go out with us. I'm starting to think you don't like me."

As they reached the station, Prowl transformed and frowned at his partner. "The only time I went to the bar with you and the others, I somehow got stuck paying the entire tab," he said. He flicked his wings as he turned his back on Barricade. "I have no desire for a repeat of that situation."

Barricade caught up to Prowl at the curb. "That's because you were new! It's tradition!" He slung his arm around Prowl's shoulders. "I promise it won't happen again."

"Regardless, my answer is still no," Prowl said, shrugging out from under Barricade's arm. "It is simply an activity I have no interest in. I am only here to-"

With a scoff, Barricade threw up his hands. "I know, I know. I've heard you say it enough." He rolled his optics. "You're just here to do a job, not to make friends." He frowned at Prowl. "You know this isn't Praxus, right? There's more to life than just being a tool of the state. Things like making friends, or having fun." Marching ahead of Prowl, he glanced over his shoulder. "You should try it some time."

Prowl shook his head. It had been a big change for him, moving from Praxus to Iacon. He missed the order of Praxus, where everyone knew their role and rules were clearly defined and followed. But because of that order, being an Enforcer there was... Well, it was not very challenging. Iacon, on the other hand, was larger and more chaotic. Bots had much more freedom to do what they wanted, which also meant that the peace was harder to maintain. But it also meant that the work of keeping that peace was more interesting.

Moving from being a Praxus Enforcer to becoming a member of the Iacon Watch was a huge shift for Prowl, but he took his job seriously. And doing his job did not mean spending time with his fellow constables in bars or dancitrons.

As Prowl and Barricade walked into the precinct, the desk clerk held up a hand to the bot he was talking to. "Just a sec- Hey! Prowl! The Captain wants to see you in her office right away."

Barricade lifted a brow ridge at Prowl. "What did you do?"

"I did not do anything, except my job," Prowl said, mystified.

Barricade rolled his optics again. "Yeah, I know," he said. "I hope you're not getting canned. I really don't want to break in another partner."

"I will come back as soon as possible to finish filing our report," Prowl said as he turned towards the Captain's office.

"You better!" Barricade called after him. "You know I hate doing reports!"

Prowl wracked his processor for any clues as to why the Captain of the Inner Watch would want to see him. Discipline was usually left up to the sergeants, but Streetwise had not mentioned any shortcomings in Prowl's performance to him. As far as Prowl knew, he had done everything expected and to the required parameters. His regular reviews had always been glowing. He had no idea what the Captain could want with him.

Prowl paused just outside the Captain's office and knocked on the open door. "You asked to see me, sir?"

Captain Overdrive looked up from her work and waved him in. "Prowl! Yes, come in. Close the door, please." She gestured at the chair in front of him and watched as Prowl took a seat. "You've been with the Iacon Watch for quite a while, yes? Are you enjoying the work?"

From his seat, Prowl could plainly see his personnel file open on the Chief's desk. He suppressed a nervous flick of his sensor wings. "I have been with the Iacon Watch for a year. And I am enjoying the work, yes," he said. "It is more of a challenge for me than what I found in the Praxus Enforcers."

Overdrive made a thoughtful noise and flipped through a few screens in Prowl's file. "You've had nothing but commendations. Not a single complaint so far. That's surprising, considering your partner." She flashed Prowl a knowing smile, then leaned back in her chair. "And you said you enjoy the challenge?"

"Yes, sir."

"In what way?"

"The work is varied. On patrol, we see something different every day. Analyzing each situation and determining the best course of action possible within the confines of our mandate is appealing to me." Prowl lifted his sensor wings. "It is very different than the work I was doing in Praxus."

"I can understand that." The Captain nodded thoughtfully. "I know the crime rate in Praxus is very low. The Enforcers there seem mostly for show, honestly."

Prowl did not think that was a completely honest assessment of the work the Enforcers did there, but he did not see the point in arguing with the Captain. "Yes, sir," he said instead.

"Your record from Praxus is impressive. Wanting a new challenge does explain why you wanted to make the move to Iacon," Overdrive said. "But I can't help feeling that we aren't utilizing you in the best possible way."

"Sir?"

"Would you be interested in something a bit more challenging? Perhaps in one of our special units?"

Special units! If Prowl could possibly have sat up even straighter in his chair, he would have. "I would be interested, yes, depending on the unit. Some of them do extremely important, very interesting work."

Overdrive nodded and glanced back down at Prowl's file, tabbing through a few more screens. "Do you consider yourself a mechanimal bot?"

Prowl cycled his optics. "A... I am sorry, a what?"         

"Someone who likes mechanimals. You know, felinoids, zap ponies, wirehounds, whatever." Overdrive waved her hand at Prowl's file. "It says here you had an organic for a pet when you lived in Praxus."

"Yes... I did." Prowl's wings twitched as his processor churned through scenarios trying to figure out what his personal life had to do with being transferred to a special unit. "I had a flyt."

"Did you train it yourself?"

When Prowl's processor came up empty on a rational explanation for the Captain's line of questioning, he decided that the only thing to be done was answer the questions as best he could. "Yes, sir. I got her when she was just a hatchling and started training her right away. I needed to make sure she could be left alone in my flat without causing a disturbance." He dipped his wings when he realized why the fact that he had a pet flyt was in his file. "Keeping organics in your living quarters was considered irregular in Praxus, so I wanted to make certain there was no reason for anyone to file a complaint with the Garaging Authority."

"What sorts of things did you train it to do?"

"I trained her to come when she was called and to stay on her perch when commanded. Additionally, I trained her to sit on my shoulder, and to fly through a hoop that I had made for her. She could also do loops in midair, although she needed enough space to perform one." Prowl thought back to the tiny flyt, and how she would chirp and tilt her head when she wanted a little bit of extra skitter. Then he suppressed the emotional subroutines that always inserted themselves into his processor threads when he thought about Green. That wasn't useful right now. "And of course, to eliminate her waste in the proper receptacle."

"Oh, right. I guess that's something you have to think about with an organic." Overdrive laughed. "Mechanimals don't have that issue."

"No, sir."

"This flyt, did it obey your commands?"

"Yes, sir. She obeyed them very well, sir."

"How do you feel about wirehounds?"

Prowl felt off-balance. He could not figure out where the Captain's questions were leading to. "I do not know that I feel anything about them in particular."

"You're not afraid of them or anything like that, are you?"

"No, sir."

"Does your residence building have any rules about pets?"

"No, sir, except to ensure that they are well-behaved and do not cause a disturbance."

"Good." Overdrive blanked the datapad with Prowl's file on it and leaned forward, tenting her fingers together. "Prowl, I've been asked to find someone to head up Unit K-9, and I think you are the right bot for the job."

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

[voids-colourful-creations]

Cosplay Diary -- [Intro to costumes!]

Eight (Splatoon)

Shoes: Black Heels fitted with insoles to account for me never wearing heels. I've purchased two black zippers and some grommits to add superficially for the sake of design matching. (Who has a front facing shoe zipper??) Leggings: Eight doesn't canonically have leggings, but I'm hoping to do some for the costume, translucent ones splattered with ink/paint! I've got leggings, I've got paint, but I haven't painted anything yet Skirt: I've pinned it in further with safety pins to get a tighter fit, and plan on sewing over the fold I've made to adjust the fit (if it'll fit under my machine...). I'd also like to hem it slightly, since Eight's skirt is pretty short. Jacket: Bit big on me, and the zips too centered, but it works. Need to cut off the sleeve and cut and hem the bottom edge without murdering the existing zipper. Wig: So I've never done a tentacle wig before, but my plan is simple. I will construct 4 plush tentacles to be mounted onto an old baseball cap I found and will chop the brim off of. (That's what the bedsheets are for)

Notes: Lots to do on Eight, but a lot of the planning is done so it's mainly getting to sit down and do it. My next step is to sew the skirt and finish it up, then work on the jacket, then wig. I've done a prototype tentacle for the wig and it went well, so I'll be making another with the proper fabrics, to check sizing, then get started on that.

Dot (Pokemon)

Slippers: Managed to get those today! I'll be adding the decorative stuff to make them snorlax themed, and hopefully adding a band around the back as well. Sweatpants: A wonderful find at the thrift store! (Actually, everything here is from the thrift store for the most part. The slippers, and leggings are the only exceptions, from a walmart and dollar store respectively.) Tank Top: I love thrift store. Cardigan: The real meat of this costume, an entirely handknit cardigan. while the pattern isn't perfectly Dots, please forgive me because I've never knit a cardigan before. Actually I've only ever knit scarves, and its been a few years. I've done all body panels and one sleeve, leaving only the second sleeve and the collar trim left for the body of the cardigan. I'd also like to add pockets. Dot's cardigan has a hood, which I won't be priotizing for now (mainly because i do not know how to do that and I'm short for time.), but i've got a pair of really fuzzy socks I plan on using to make the puff balls. I'll be giving them buttons, so they'll be able to be detatched for ease of washing. (Hopefully I can do the same for the tail?) Wig: A dear friend has pledged to mail me a purple wig I'm hoping to use for this, we'll see if the post is good on getting it to me in time. the only thing I really still need to get for these costumes is the pink extensions I'll use for her highlights. I plan on doing her hair back style (because I need. to see.), and have a hairband. I'll probably use glue and hairspray to make flicked back hair I can then clip in and secure to the base wig for the bangs.... That's the plan anyway.

Notes: A lot closer to finished with Dot, big thanks to prexisting clothes from thrift stores. Which is great because I don't wanna make normal sweatpants n tank tops and things! Cardigan knitting has been going well, and I hope to finish the second sleeve Soon. It's been a long while knitting this, but I'm nearly there! Not super experienced with wig work, but hey this cosplays for fun not a contest so I don't wanna sweat it too much.

Feelings pretty good about things right now! If progress is made faster than expected, I might do a third costume, but we'll see. Haven't figured out which I'm wearing what day yet...

[tippenfunkaport]

WIPs Status Update

I am fairly confident no one cares what I am up to, but I haven't done one of these in ages so I figured I should.

In Progress Fanfic

Outlaws of the Whispering Woods

This fic is on temporary hiatus because I'm working on finishing it as part of the @wipbigbang. Participation in that event means I can't update that fic again until the posting period starts on September 8th BUT that once that posting period begins, I should have both art for the new chapter as well as regular updates through November until the fic is done which should be exciting. 

That said, there is still like 60k ish to go in that story so if it looks like I'm not going to be able to get it all done in time, I might swap it out for the Chipped Glimmer fic which has also been languishing in WIP hell because it's shorter and easier for me to get done on time. I'd prefer to use the event as a kick in the pants to finish OotWW, though, so we'll see.

Prince Glowyn the Fourth

This fic is 100% complete at last, I just have one chapter left to post and will be doing that sometime within the next week.

Going There

Just about four years after I started it, Going There is finally done as well! (Literally just finished it today!) "Done" in this case means I finally rewrote the back end and filled in the missing connecty bits I never wrote the first time so everything's written, it's just going to take me an unknown quantity of time to edit and post each of the chapters. But less time than rewriting it all took so I expect those last few updates to come fairly regularly once I get them started.

Coming Home

I have always said that I wanted to wait to continue this fic until Going There was done so now that I have finally finished it, the sequel can get my attention more regularly again. That said, with everything going on with the WIP Bang, posting the rest of Going There, running the Big Bang and posting my own Bang fic (plus, like, all the other IRL stuff i have to do this summer), I really don't anticipate getting it updated anytime before the fall at the earliest and even then who knows.

Also, because this is my last in-progress canon fic I'm not in a huge rush to get it out there, I'd rather take my time with it, so I'm fine with that timeline. It'll get updated when it gets updated.

Area First Ones

In my head, this is episodic and while i have five chapters written, I have some things I want to add in between so it's not as simple as just cleaning and posting those. So basically, this one will be one of those fics I update when I update here and there with no set timeline other than my whims.

Coming Soon!

My Big Bang fic is called Horse Girl Everyone and it's the long awaited Riding School AU! 

That one is going to be longgggg and basically never-ending and episodic (seriously, we're over 50k words and while Catradora have been circling each other for chapters Glimmer and Bow literally only just met and you KNOW how I feel about Glimbow). I was hoping to write enough in advance that I could do some kind of regular update schedule at the start but because I'm also running the Bang and having some annoying medical stuff going on, I think that's not happening.

I've written a ton in advance, don't get me wrong, I just don't see myself having time to revise it all and post weekly with everything else going on. But we'll see!

Anything else?

Well, yeah, lots of stuff but it's not fandom related so I can't tell you about it. ;-) Though maaaaybe I might have the chance for some of you to help me beta some of my original stuff in the near future if you're willing so keep an eye out for that.

I'm trying to have less things in progress at once so, though I have other fanfic projects in various states of completion, I'm purposely not going to even think about posting any other multi-chaps until GT and OotWW are done. 

One shots and shorts? Yeah, I'll be throwing those up randomly as the mood strikes, you know how I roll. I'm eyeing up the Domaystic 2024 prompts to see which ones call to me right now.

So I have other stuff planned for later but I'm not even going to tease it because we'll see how everything shakes out.

This year has actually been absolutely horrible health wise but weirdly productive writing wise so it's been a mixed bag but at least nice to get some stuff done!

[not-rude-ginger]

So since I was shadow banned for who knows how long, I figured I'd do a quick round up of my WIPs and their statuses.

Smooth As Ink: I swear to god this bastard will be done soon. I decided to pause updating until I'd finished it all so I could tidy up older chapters in one go. However I have been incredibly stuck on a scene that requires JFM to say words to his son and I cannot move forward until I sort it out. *Screams into a pillow*

A Little Bit Of Hope, A Little Bit Of Hurt: also trying to write the rest before I post more, this one is just messy because of how tricky it is to balance things out between how bad LWJ's actions is while still having a happy ending. I have the gist of a plan but the actual writing is delicate.

Ballet!AU for ChengXian Bang: ... Well I know the plot but I need to start writing it properly. It's fine ... It's all fine, I'm not worrying about deadlines 😅

ZhanChengXian Smut: I just really want to write more of these Soft Bois, possibly during the Sunshot Campaign

Burn Series: I'm rethinking a lot of my plans to how the relationships will develop now the big problem is resolved, and my brain is particularly interested atm in a LWJ POV piece as he works to make himself a part of this extended family.

[backchattingdancer]

Hello, and Merry Christmas! I'm Pearl, your Secret Rocker Santa :D This has been really fun, and I enjoyed chatting with you! A lot of the music you recommended was really good, and I promise I'm still working through the rest haha

I'm glad to hear your recital went well, that's awesome! I love that song too, I played it over the summer along with some other Mendelssohn. He's one of my favorite classical composers! If you liked Venetian Gondola Song, I'd look into his Song Without Words: Consolation, it's one of my all-time favorites! I've been playing piano for about 7-8 years, it's definitely one of my strongest passions :) I have a side blog where I post videos of me playing if you want to check it out: @pearl-plays-piano ! Besides that, I play a little ukulele and have been taking voice lessons for around 9-10 years. I wish you luck in your competition!

I'm getting it cut pretty short, kind of around ear length with these kinda swoopy bangs that kinda fade into the back from the front...if that makes any sense haha It's kinda hard to style at the moment, but I'm starting to get the hand of it haha I try to go for a 'feathered' look, but sometimes it just kinda hangs there and I can't get it to do anything...let me know if you have any advice!

I hope you have a happy Christmas! Let me know what you got, and if you ended up getting the flower book you wanted! :D

~ Pearl :D ✨

Hi @pearls-place!! It's so lovely to finally know who you are :D I've really enjoyed talking with you as well!

Yes, I am going to be working on those! My teacher gave me a Songs Without Words book, and now that I've finished with this one I'm going to be working on Venetian Gondola Song #2 :) That is certainly a long time- I'll be sure to check out some of your work!

That does sound like a lovely style- I'm sure you look wonderful. I can't really say anything about it now since I don't know some rather important things like your hair type 😅 But my advice for now would just be to experiment a lot with different styling routines and figure out what works best for you.

Happy Christmas to you as well, I want to hear what you got! :) I got some clothes and a small makeup palette from my mum, and my sibling got me a couple packs of gummies (I absolutely love gummies)- they're so wonderful, they also got me this perfume I've been wanting! It's supposed to be orange scented but it really just smells like citrus gummies, which is honestly even better. I know they ordered the book, but it sadly hasn't arrived yet. I hope it will soon!

It's been so lovely getting to know you this past month- I hope you have an amazing Christmas, and my best wishes to you for the new year!

[mysticpetals]

Supermarket runs

Pairing: Jake × mc (Syianne)

Genre: fluff, humor

Words: 2.5k

Summary: Three times Jake ran into Syianne and one time he actually made plans.

Anonymous asked: Hello. If you do still requests, can you do 27 and 40, with Jake and MC from Duskwood from fluff? Sorry I forgot to add that.

Prompts: 27. "Are you blushing?" 40. "Why are you so afraid of loving?"

Notes: here it is! A cute meet up fic with Jake's point of view. I hope you like this one because it's going to be the last thing I'll be posting for a while 😬

Jake had reached his new hideout just a few hours ago.

After evading yet another capture from the government and planting false trails in his wake, he had escaped to a small town, renting an apartment for the time being.

Opening the door to his new house for a few days, he put his cat down, opened his cage and let him explore. Glitch immediately disappeared and Jake put his bags down, sighing tiredly.

He needed to make a quick run to the store nearby, getting some food and other essential items since it was clear that they didn't stock it in the room.

Before he could change his mind, Jake picked up his wallet, locking the door and walked to the store he came across on his way over to the apartment.

It was a medium sized store, probably the one of the few in this small town. Jake browsed the shelves picking up the things he needed along the way. He avoided eye contact with everyone, putting his hood up.

When he was done, he quietly put the few cup noodles and microwaveable dinners on the counter and waited for the cashier to scan his items. Just as he went to pick up the first item, the cashier's phone rang and he glanced at the screen, eyes widening in surprise before his face settled into panic.

"Oh shit, oh shit, I completely forgot," he mumbled to himself frantically and giving Jake an apologetic glance, ran towards the back room.

Well then, it wasn't like he was in any hurry either. He didn't want to go back so soon anyway. He rocked back on his heels, adjusting his mask so that it still covered the lower half of his face and looked around in boredom.

From the backroom, he could hear two voices arguing, one male and other female and just when he thought that maybe it was going to take a while, the cashier ran out of the room, hefting a jacket over his shoulders and looked back.

"I owe you one, Syianne! Thank you so much!"

Jake tilted his head on hearing the familiar name, memories of conversations with his Syianne creeping up.

"You really do, Percy! I better have a three day weekend after this!" The girl shouted back and Jake smiled behind his mask. She even sounded like her.

The cashier yelled back something but he was already out the door to hear properly. The girl came out from the back, wearing her uniform jacket and grumbling about having to do two shifts, but Jake had frozen.

"Sorry about that. My coworker forgot about the date with his girlfriend and had to bolt. Between you and me, she's pretty scary so I'd be running too," she said, already ringing up his few items but Jake couldn't reply. He kept staring at her familiar face, which he had accidentally accessed when going through her chats before.

This was his Syianne.

She glanced at him, probably wondering why he didn't say anything before looking back on the screen. He broke out of his stupor when she told him the total and held up a bag with his items.

His fingers brushed against her and it felt like a lifetime, blood rushing to his cheeks and heart pacing.

"Thank you," he said and got a smile in return.

"You're welcome! Sorry about the delay earlier."

He shook his head rapidly, telling her that it was no trouble and he completely understood. That made her smile widen, her eyes crinkling with happiness.

"Come again soon!"

Oh, he'd be coming back very soon, indeed.

The first thing he did after reaching home was to power on his laptop and search for Syianne's location. Glitch hissed angrily at him for disturbing his slumber atop the chair he was now sitting in but Jake's eyes were fixed on the screen.

The results baffled him, as it showed her living in a completely different country from when he had searched her before, when he had just gotten her number. And then, realisation dawned on him that she might be using a VPN.

He banged his head on the table in frustration but also a little impressed that Syianne had thought of doing something like this to protect her identity.

He was supposed to stay away from all of them, to prevent pulling people into his messes but now one of the most important people in his life literally worked a walk away from his hiding place. He couldn't change places so frequently as it hadn't even been a day and he had to give some time to the police to cool off, before he got on the move again.

He sighed, too wound up to make anything but cup noodles, he got up and went into the kitchen. Glitch trailed behind him, sniping at his heels for his own food and Jake emptied the last can of cat food into Glitch's bowl.

With a jolt, he realised that he would have to go to the supermarket tomorrow again and it brought him equal parts of excitement as well as anxiety at the thought of seeing Syianne again.

———

The next evening, he put the cans of cat food on the counter and was disappointed to find that the guy from yesterday – Percy, if he recalled right – was going to scan his items.

Jake shifted the mask on his face and looked around to see if Syianne was somewhere but to no avail. If Percy noticed him looking around, he didn't say anything. When he grabbed the bag from him, the employee room opened and Syianne came out wearing casual clothes, a bag slung over her shoulder.

"See you tomorrow, Percy!"

She came out from behind the counter and her eyes widened in surprise as they fell on him.

"Oh hi! You're the one from yesterday."

Jake cleared his throat and let out a hesitant, "Y-yeah."

Percy snickered, throwing a knowing look at Jake before turning to Syianne.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, idiot. Bring some coffee with you." He handed Jake his bag as he scrambled to bring out his wallet to pay and gave him a wide smile.

"Syianne here works the morning shifts." He winked and Jake was mortified to hear the amusement in his voice, knowing that he had been caught.

"I'm not bringing you anything until I get my three-day weekend. Anyway, nice to see you again…." She trailed off when she turned to Jake and his mind went into overdrive as he thought about whether he should tell her his real name or not.

"Phil." He blurted out, "My name's Phil."

She tilted her head, no doubt thinking about that bartender from Duskwood who was currently locked up in jail.

"Funny, I know a guy named Phil. Not from around here though." She glanced at the door giving him a final smile.

"Because all the customers come in the evening." Percy complained and Syianne only rolled her eyes at his antics.

"Well, come by in the morning if you want to chat. It's pretty chill that time."

"Deal with it. Anyway, see you tomorrow." She waved one last time and walked out, Jake's eyes following her figure until she disappeared around the corner.

"She's sweet and a little too trustful. I better not hear any complaints about you from her Phil or I won't hesitate to throw a punch or two." Percy threatened and Jake flushed before muttering a hasty excuse and practically running out of the store.

She actually talked to him today and hearing her voice, her words just made it harder for him to stay away. But it was okay if he didn't tell her who he was, right? She won't be in any danger then, right?

These thoughts chased him as he walked back to his temporary home, almost tripping over Glitch when he entered and found a disgruntled cat, waiting for his food.

———

The next morning, Jake worked in his room, occasionally shooing away Glitch who was determined to get his daily dose of affection.

"Just a minute, Glitch." He muttered, typing rapidly, his eyes scanning the screen with an eerie quickness.

A loud, disgruntled meow from his cat breaks the silence again and Jake heaved a frustrated sigh, pushing his laptop away and glaring at the culprit.

"Fine, you little devil! I'll give you breakfast first."

He walked out of the room, Glitch trailing behind him, purring in appreciation and hopped on to a chair while Jake took out the instant pancake mixture that he had recently bought. And that reminded him of the fact that Syianne was here, so close and whether he should tell her or not.

Making the pancakes in a daze, he put a plate in front of Glitch who immediately started gobbling it up. Jake huffed out a laugh and made his own plate, sitting across from his cat. The syrup was towards Glitch and when he leaned forward to take it, he was met by Glitch's paw swatting at his hand.

"What the hell? You ate already! Let me eat too!"

Glitch's paw rested on the syrup bottle and edged it towards the end of the table.

Jake froze.

"Glitch, no. Give me the syrup."

The bottle shifted a bit more.

"No, Glitch. Stop that."

The cat looked at him and stopped and Jake gave a sigh of relief, only to throw back his head in exasperation at the next moment as the bottle was finally pushed off the table.

"You little devil! I'm going to—"

The cat sprang up and ran into the other room, leaving Jake in the kitchen alone.

"Why is it always me?"

———

After cleaning up the kitchen and eating pancakes without any syrup, Jake found himself in the supermarket once again, embarrassed about being there everyday for the last three or so days.

When he put his items on the counter, including a syrup in a plastic bottle this time, he found himself facing Syianne who gave her an amused look.

"Having a good day, Phil?"

It took a moment for Jake to understand that she was talking to him and he flushed when he met her gaze.

"Not really. My cat decided to be an asshole today."

Syianne laughed and if Jake could have heard it everyday, he would. When she scanned his bandaids, she raised an eyebrow, and Jake gave her a sheepish smile, showing her his poorly wrapped hand.

"Oh no, that looks bad," she said but Jake only shook his head.

"It's better than it looks, I promise. I'm just bad at wrapping things up."

She didn't smile but only looked behind him. Seeing no more customers, she gestured for him to come to her side of the counter. Confused, he did as she asked and understanding dawned on him when he saw her opening the packet of gauze he had just bought.

"Oh, no, no. It's okay. I can do it at home." He rushed but she didn't listen, silently asking for him to hold his hand forward. When he realised that Syianne wasn't going to take no for an answer, he sighed and put his hand forward, face heating up and he regretted forgetting to wear a face mask that day.

"Are you blushing?" She asked teasingly and his flush only worsened.

"I-I'm not used to other people caring for me."

She hummed.

"That must be lonely."

She carefully unwrapped his hand, winching at the sight of blood and cleaned it with antiseptic wipes, before wrapping a bandage around the cut. Her hands were gentle but firm, as if she knew what she was doing and had done it a hundred times before. Jake was suddenly hit with a weird nostalgia, a feeling of wanting to know who she was, how many siblings she had, what her goals were.

He didn't realise when she had stopped, staring at him, as he was looking at her and only after several minutes had passed, did Syianne dropped her hands, letting him know that she was done.

The thought struck him like lightning and he quickly grabbed his bags, muttering another thank you and getting a simple smile in return. Before he knew, he was out on the streets and on the way to his house, his thoughts a raging turmoil.

"Thank you very much." He spoke softly, quietly, overwhelmed by such a gesture from her. He was essentially a stranger and she had still helped him, not knowing who he was.

She didn't know who he was.

What was he doing? Going to see her like that, finding excuses to go to the supermarket in hopes of seeing her? What did he want to accomplish?

He released a shaky sigh, running his hands through his hair, when he reached the place. Glitch, knowing that it wasn't the time for his shenanigans, only gave a welcoming meow from his place on the couch.

Maybe it was time he started searching again.

Jake opened his laptop but the ping from his phone made him look for it, heart quickening when he saw her name on it.

Syianne [5:00 pm]

Hey Jake!

How are you doing? I hope you're safe

I patched up a guy today who came in at work. He had a cat too!

Anyway, I don't know why I'm still writing but I hope you're safe and nobody got to you

Why are you so afraid of loving?

Sorry, insensitive question. Ignore that

Waiting for when you come back

...I'm still looking forward to that date

Jake's lips quirked at her messages, warmed by her concern. She had messaged him everyday ever since he went into hiding again. He hadn't replied then, being busy because of his relocation, but now….

In a bold move, very uncharacteristic for him, he messaged her back.

Jake [5:03 pm]

What if I told you that the guy you patched up was me?

Syianne [5:04 pm]

What?

His name was Phil

Oh

Jake waited as she typed and erased, all of it going on for two minutes before she stopped. Jake had a sudden, terrible feeling that perhaps he had made a mistake but soon enough, she replied.

Syianne [5:06 pm]

You're cute in real life as well <3

Jake laughed, amused by her flirty response and decided that perhaps he'd stay there for a few more days.

Syianne [5:06 pm]

What about that date at the Chinese restaurant you promised me?

Jake [5:07 pm]

Does tomorrow work for you? ;)

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger) || Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) ||| Also posted at AO3

—

Chapter 6B: Without You

Without you in my life // I'd slowly wilt and die But with you by my side // You're the reason I'm alive...

Soundtrack: “Without You,” Mötley Crüe, 1989 [click here to listen]

Six A.M. – Claire quietly shut her door and softly padded down the hallway toward the dining room.

The Ridge’s sleeping quarters reminded her of her college dorm – a long hallway of single rooms, with a shared bathroom at the end of the hall. Women were up here on the second floor – men were in a separate wing on the other side of the dining room, which with the therapy rooms and administrative offices sat at the middle of the large building.

As she entered the dining room, she smiled a hello at Glenna, a kind middle-aged woman who organized breakfast, among dozens of other jobs. Glenna had had a terrible addiction to pills – “just like you, dear, and I overcame it, so you can too” – and had found a home at The Ridge keeping the whole operation running.

“You’re up early,” Glenna remarked as Claire poured herself a cup of coffee.

Claire stirred in cream and sugar. “I haven’t been able to sleep.”

Glenna set down a tray of piping hot cinnamon buns. “It will be a while before you do. Remember, your body is still in shock. It will take longer than you want, to find a new rhythm. Be patient.”

“I will. Thanks, Glenna.”

Glenna gestured with her head toward the porch. “He’s out there.”

Claire frowned. “Who?”

Glenna smiled. “Who do you think? It’s none of my business – but you’re well-suited.”

Claire piled two cinnamon buns on a plate, her heart beating a bit faster. “There’s nothing going on between us. Besides, isn’t it against the rules?”

Glenna set one hand on her hip. “Not yet there isn’t. And since when did the rules ever stop either of you?”

Claire smiled and shook her head, already crossing the empty dining room.

As soon as she popped her head outside, she saw him – alone in the corner of the porch.

As she approached, she saw he had an acoustic guitar on his lap, strumming quietly, scribbling in a notebook.

“Good morning.”

He looked up at her, suddenly beaming. “Early to bed, early to rise, hmm?”

She held out the plate, and he took a bun. “I figured, might as well get up.” She sat down next to him, set down the plate, and took a long sip of coffee. “Do you always get up this early?”

Chewing, he turned back his guitar, plucking quietly at the strings. “Yeah. Being here is the first regular sleep schedule I’ve had in years. This may sound terrible – but I realize now that I’d forgotten how to fall asleep.”

She wrapped her hands around the coffee mug. “What do you mean?”

He tapped the side of the guitar. “I was drinking two bottles of Jack a day, Claire. I’d have it with breakfast, throughout the morning, before a gig, after a gig. I’d just pass out at some early hour, with some girl who I’d picked up at the gig or at a strip club after the gig, and then wake up sometime the next day. And when I wasn’t touring – I’d still drink a lot. Hang out with my friends, or with the band – go out, hit the clubs, maybe do a few bumps of coke. But it would always end the same way, passed out on a floor or a couch or, on better nights, my bed.”

She watched a blue jay flit from tree to tree, down below in the forest.

“I had so many chances over the years to wake up. It’s so clear to me now. There was one day when we were in the studio, laying down a new track – and I needed to take a break, so I’d gone to a smaller practice studio next door. With a speedball in my pocket. So I helped myself to it, and I don’t remember what happened next, but my producer tells me that a few minutes later I’d buzzed him on the intercom, and asked him for a gun so that I could shoot the men in top hats who were coming out of the speakers.”

Claire swirled her half-empty coffee cup. “I’d work three days on, three days off. It’s a punishing schedule – but I knew that going in. After a long day with several surgeries, I’d crash. Sometimes I’d have to be on call, so I’d sleep in this little room we had upstairs in the staff area. It had two sets of bunk beds and a shower – all a body needs. But I’d be so wired from the adrenaline – from needing to focus so much on the patients – that I couldn’t sleep, you know?”

He nodded. “I know. I know exactly what you mean.”

“The pills helped me sleep. That’s what I told myself at first. And I didn’t feel terrible when I woke up – especially if someone was banging on the door, giving me a five minute warning to get back downstairs. I could get all of the sleep with all of the alertness on the other end. But then…well.” She sighed. “Then it got to the point where I told myself I couldn’t sleep at all if I didn’t have the pills – even on my days off. Because I had to sleep, to make up for the sleep I’d lost when I was on call. And then I was taking them during the day, to calm down.”

He turned a new page in his notebook, pulled out a pen from behind his ear, and scribbled something.

“I guess you’re working on something new?”

He nodded. “Sometimes the music comes first. Sometimes it’s the lyrics that come first. But if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember it the next day.” He frowned. “Come to think of it – it must be because my memory was so shot from the booze, that I wasn’t even capable of remembering.”

He cleared his throat, and set down the guitar, and picked up a cup of coffee. “What do you think? You’re a doctor, after all.”

She smirked. “I’m a surgeon, not a neurologist. But it sounds plausible. Can you remember things better now, that you’re sober?”

He nodded. “It’s crazy. I just feel so much…clearer. In control. It’s good to be in control.” He took another bite of cinnamon bun. “Are you feeling that?”

She sighed. “I’m feeling. I didn’t want to feel anything for the longest time. But now I’m feeling…just feeling.”

Footsteps on the deck behind them – Rupert, shuffling in his bathrobe, blearily waving hello, clutching a gigantic cup of coffee.

A beat.

How to find common ground outside of their addictions?

“Can you tell me more about that song you’re writing?”

He set down his coffee and picked up the notebook, flipping back to the previous page. Set it on the table between them. Picked up his guitar. Looked down at his notes. Started to sing – his voice quiet, clear, strong.

Without you, there's no change My nights and days are grey If I reached out and touched the rain It just wouldn't feel the same

Without you, I'd be lost I'd slip down from the top I'd slide down so low Girl you never, never know...

Without you, without you A sailor lost at sea Without you, woman, the world comes down on me

“I don’t know where to go from there,” he said, continuing to play slow notes on his guitar. “Need more verses, of course. Maybe a space for a guitar solo. I don’t know.” He looked up at her. “What do you think?”

Rupert clapped and hooted from across the porch. Giving Claire enough time to find her voice.

“I think you’ve got a keeper there,” she said softly.

He held her gaze. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Play Freebird!” Rupert shouted.

They shared a smile.

Claire’s world tilted just a little.

[multiplefandomfics]

Relations 2.0

So guys, this is kinda an alternative to Relations I posted yesterday. This time with a Rogers! Reader. I hope you enjoy.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: angst, kidnapping, violence, trauma, nightmares, PTSD, unprotected smut, alzheimers, kinda AU

Words: 3702

"How is she today?" you asked your cousin.

"Not much changed. I'm just happy she remembers us." She answered.

"Did she tell you something new?"

"No, not really. You want to go in now?"

"Yes, I don't know but it always makes me happy to see her. No matter what state she's in." You smiled at her.

Peggy was your fathers mother and you loved her. She had taught you and Sharon how to be brave and independent women.

"Hello grandma. How are you doing today?" You sat down next to her.

"Oh, how nice of you to visit me, my dear." She smiled at you. "I slept very well. How was your day?" Peggy might have an illness which ate away at her memories but she was the most courteous person on the planet.

“Oh, you know just as always. S.H.I.E.L.D is definitely keeping me on my feet.” you smiled at her.

“Yes, yes, I can imagine.” she took your hand.

You talked a bit more and listened to stories you had heard a 1000 times before but still enjoyed seeing your grandma so happy.

Then your phone rang.

“Agent Carter? We need you at the facility immediately.”

“I’ll be right there.” you answered.

“Grandma, I’m sorry I gotta go. Duty calls. I'll come back as soon as I can, I promise.” you kissed her on the forehead before you left.

“Good that you are here. We have found something incredible way up north embedded in ice.” Agent Coulson told you and handed you a file.

When you opened it up and saw the pictures you gasped loudly and had the urge to sit down.

The photographs showed your grandfather, frozen in uniform and with the shield. You recognized him immediately.

“Y/N are you alright?” Coulson asked.

The problem was that no one knew your family history. Peggy had kept quiet about her unplanned pregnancy and the whereabouts of the father. She had gotten married while still pregnant and in those times no one questioned that the baby was way early.

“Yes, no, I mean… I don’t know. I can’t believe you found him. Now the nation can finally bury their fallen hero.” you mumbled.

“Oh, you must have misunderstood. Captain Rogers isn’t dead. He’s in recovery.” Coulson explained.

“What? How is that possible?”

“Well the ice must have preserved him and the serum in his veins kept him alive.”

Not even a second later rang Coulson’s phone. An Agent called from Times Square. Steve Rogers had woken up and figured out that something was not right so he escaped the room where he was supposed to recover.

“I need to talk to him. I think I will be able to calm him. This must be awful for him.” you begged Coulson.

“Alright, let’s go. Times Square is just around the corner.” you jumped into your car and drove speeding down the streets of New York.

When you arrived Director Fury had already kinda calmed Steve so you walked over to him.

Nick Fury was the only person in the world outside your family who knew your family's secret. So he didn’t hesitate to let you through.

“Captain Rogers? Would you care to come with me? I'd like to explain everything to you.” you smiled at him.

“Peggy? he asked, astonished. You had never seen too much resemblance between your grandma and yourself but apparently Steve saw it.

“Close. But no. MY name is Y/N Carter. I’m her granddaughter. We have a lot of catching up to do. Want to join me?” he just nodded and followed you.

You drove in silence with about 5 bulletproof dark SUVs following you at close range.

You stopped in front of a S.H.I.E.L.D office and walked inside.

When you closed the door to your office behind you and him the reality of it all finally started to seep into your bones and you started shaking.

He noticed immediately and stepped closer. Ever the gentleman of the 40’s that he was, he asked if you were okay.

“Well there is so much I want to tell you. Actually, I have since I was a child. And I never thought I’d ever get the chance to nor did I think it was my place to tell you. But…” you kept rambling.

“What are you talking about?” he looked confused.

“Okay, here we go. All or nothing.” you mumbled to yourself.

“Peggy is my grandmother, and you are my grandfather.” you finished quietly.

“Excuse me?” he thought he might have misheard you.

“Just after you supposedly died Grandma Peggy found out that she was pregnant. She always said it was a drunken night after Sergeant Barnes died? It’s a secret which almost no one outside of the family knows. I would have let Peggy tell you herself but she has alzheimers and a lot of the time she is not really there anymore.” you explained to him.

“Peggy is still alive? I need to see her.” he picked up on your story.

“But first I’d like to hug my granddaughter if that’s alright by you.” he grinned.

“Ehm, yes sure.” you outstretched your arms and he embraced you. You had never felt so safe in anyone's arms before.

Before anyone could argue with you you had taken Steve to see Peggy in her retirement facility.

“Steve? You’re alive?” she asked in disbelief when she spotted him by her bed. He grinned and bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

“Yes, my love. And I missed you so much. How is my girl today?” he asked her.

“I was never better. Y/N come here darling. Meet your grandfather sweetie.” she spoke slowly in that posh british accent of hers.

“I already have nana and he is just as amazing as you have always told me.” you said while tears were forming in your eyes.

After that conversation you left them alone for a while to talk.

The next few weeks no day passed without you spending time with Steve. Unfortunately you had no contact with your mom or dad anymore. They didn’t want anything to do with you anymore after you had decided on your S.H.I.E.L.D career path.

That had been years ago and you weren’t sad anymore but now you would have wished, for Steve's sake, that he could meet his son.

Maybe someday your dad would be ready for this.

Somehow it came as it had to. People found out about your relation to Captain America and started to bother you immensely.

Then came the point on which it couldn't get any worse.

You came home after a long day of work and just wanted to relax in a bubble bath and then go to bed. But it came differently than you thought.

The moment you opened your door and turned around to shut it an arm closed around your throat and another grabbed for your holstered gun. Your assailant was too strong for you to overpower. You lost consciousness quickly.

When you awoke you were chained to a chair, gagged too.

And then you saw him. Sitting in a corner opposite you. Long dark hair, black mask and tac gear. His left arm was made of metal and wirred when he moved it.

When he noticed you had woken up he stood and walked over to you,

He didn’t say a word and you couldn’t. Otherwise you would have given him a piece of your mind.

You didn’t expect his next move. He took the gag from your mouth and pushed a bottle of water against your lips. You drank greedily because you hadn’t noticed your parched throat before.

“What do you want from me?” you asked after he had taken the bottle away.

“Leverage.” was all he said.

“Are you working for hydra?” you asked. You had had your suspicions for a long time that the agency had been operating from the underground.

He stayed silent and then you felt your mind slip. Of course something must have been in the water.

The next time you came to you heard voices around you but couldn’t focus at first.

When you finally could concentrate you recognized voices you had suspected of being evil before. Alexander Pierce and Brock Rumlow. Idiots! you thought.

“Ah, there she is. Did the soldier take good care of you?” Pierce mocked and you spat at him which earned you a nice backhand to the face from Rumlow.

“Now that we have that out of the way, let us proceed with our plan, shall we?.”

God, how much you hated that douchebag!

They took a video from you probably as leverage. Just as their soldier had told you. What they wanted to blackmail from S.H.I.E.L.D or Steve, you didn’t know.

After they had everything from you they brought you to a room which strongly resembled the cell in an asylum. Thick padded walls you couldn’t hurt yourself on, a small field bed with a blanket and a toilet with a sink in one corner behind a milky screen.

You banged against the walls and door at first to get any kind of attention but after receiving none you decided to leave it be and save your strength.

Hours later a doctor came into the room to take a blood sample from you but you wouldn’t have that so you fought against him until they brought the soldier in to hold you down. That was the first time you saw him after he kidnapped you. And this time he wasn’t wearing a mask. His face was expressionless and his hair was longer than on the pictures you had seen at the museum but the man standing in front of you was undeniably James Barnes. Your grandfather's best friend since childhood who you had believed was dead since 1943.

“Bucky?” you asked and he gave you a confused look. At first you doubted your eyes but you were so sure it was him. “What did you do to him? He is a good man!” you yelled at the doctor who just smiled at you maliciously.

Still struggling in Bucky’s hold the doc took a sample of your blood and they left but not before Bucky threw you one last thoughtful glance.

Days ticked by and nothing happened. You saw someone bring you food twice a day but that was about all the human contact you were given.

You couldn’t stop thinking about your granddad’s best pal being enslaved and obviously brainwashed for God knows how long. It made you so sad to think about his past. What he must have endured in hydra’s grasp.

Then one night suddenly the light in your room changed and you noticed the cause being that the door had been opened. You decided that that was your only chance and snuck out of the room. You tried to find orientation points in the weird and long hallways. But you noticed every time you didn’t know where to go, a door opened somewhere.

Just for a second you contemplated if this might have been a sick trap but you still followed it because, what did you have to lose?

When you stepped through the last door you heard someone call your name.

“Y/N! Over here!” Not 10 meters away from you stood Steve in full gear.

“Steve! Thank God you found me. Did you open all these doors?”

“Doors? What? No. I haven’t even been inside yet.” he looked at you as if you had lost your mind.

“Then who paved the way for me?” you thought out loud. Until it suddenly hit you. “Bucky!” you yelled.

“What? Are you alright? Bucky has been dead for decades.” Steve informed you.

“No you don’t understand. He is here. He must have been the one to help me. We have to find him.” you turned around and ran back inside faster than Steve could grab you.

“Y/N no!” he yelled and ran after you.

Suddenly you stopped dead in your tracks and Steve almost ran you over. 5 meters in front of you stood a dark figure, not moving a muscle.

“Bucky?” you called lowly.

Steve tensed up behind you. He too had recognized his old pal.

“Buck?” He whispered, shocked.

“Come on Bucky. We have to get out of here. And thank you for helping me.” you smiled and stretched your arm out.

He took the invitation and slowly walked towards you. Together you got out of the building and headed toward the pickup spot where the jet waited.

Bucky had still not said a word. While Steve flew the plane you sat down next to Bucky who seemed lost in thought. He didn’t notice you sliding into the seat next to him until you laid your hand on his thigh. “Buck? How do you feel?”

“Confused. I can’t believe that I am not under their control anymore.” he said.

“You are safe now. I promise we will take care of you. S.H.I.E.L.D will help you get back on your feet. You are a hero.”

“No, not S.H.I.E.L.D. They have been infiltrated by hydra. You saw Pierce and Rumlow. We can’t trust anyone.” he yelled, almost panicked.

“You are right. Steve, where are we headed?” you called out to your pilot for the moment.

“I was about to get us to Washington D.C.. S.H.I.E.L.D HQ. But now that I heard what you said I think it might be best to find a different place. So Y/N where to? Do you have a plan b?”

“In fact I do. Keep going, I'll send the coordinates right to you.” you ordered.

3 hours later you landed at a farm.

“Clint. It’s good to see you.” you said and wrapped the archer in a tight hug.

“How is the family?” you tried to make conversation.

“Good as always. So what’s the deal with this?” he asked back.

“Well, you know Captain Rogers and this is Sergeant James Barnes. It’s a long story but we need a place to lay low for a while that S.H.I.E.L.D doesn’t know about.”

“Ah, so you thought of me. Naturally. Alright, come on in, dinner should be ready soon and Laura always makes too much.”

Dinner had been great and now you were sitting on the porch with a glass of wine just relaxing and telling Clint everything. You trusted him with all your heart. Him, Natasha Romanoff and Nick Fury.

“So S.H.I.E.L.D is hydra now?” he asked, confused.

“Well yes but it seems hydra was always sleeping just under the surface waiting for the right moment to strike.” you clarified.

“So what do you intend to do next?” he asked again.

“Well, I have already sent an encrypted message to Nick Fury. He will know how to proceed from her on. Then we need to grab hydra by the roots and pull them out. If that doesn’t work we need all the help we can get to take down everything. S.H.I.E.L.D, hydra, all of it.” you described.

“Buck, what can you tell us about their plan?”

Bucky took a deep breath and started to recite everything that he knew or had gathered. Good thing that no one had actually thought to mind their words around him because they always thought he couldn’t do anything with that knowledge anyways.

“So they want to erase millions of people who do not follow their ideology? And they want to use helicarriers with active weapon systems?” you summarized Bucky’s information. “We have to stop this! But we need a solid plan. I suggest we wait for a message from Fury. He might know what to do.” you proposed.

“I agree. If we run in there unprepared people might die.” Steve approved.

So you had not much more to do than wait.

That evening you tried to fall asleep in the guest bedroom but that was almost impossible. You had listened to Steve leaving the house to go for a run about 30 minutes before. So he couldn’t sleep either.

Then, just before sleep invaded your mind you heard noises which sounded like whimpering so you got up quickly and walked downstairs, gun raised.

You found out fast that the noise came from a restlessly sleeping Bucky on the much too small couch.

Worried that he might be distressed and would fall back into his old habits you sat down next to the couch stroking hair out of his face. “Bucky? You’re okay. You’re safe now.” you whispered. He opened his eyes and looked at you.

You didn’t expect him to lean in close and brush his lips to yours.

He pulled back abruptly when he noticed you being completely taken by surprise. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” he sat up and buried his face in his hands.

“No, it’s okay Bucky. I understand you. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it, I just wasn’t expecting that.” he looked up hesitantly.

“In fact I wouldn’t mind you doing it again.” you smiled at him mischievously.

Without saying another word he pulled you in again. You climbed into his lap all while never breaking the kiss. Until you had to come up for air.

“Wow, you really know how to do that.” you stated.

“Did you want to go further?” you asked him carefully.

“I wouldn’t mind. I just wanna feel something nice again.” he confessed before pulling you in for a kiss again.

You made out like that for a while, grinding on each other like some horny teenagers. Until his hand slipped into your panties stroking your mound and you started mewling like a kitten in heat.

Your hands fumbled clumsily with his boxers and he helped you push them down enough for his cock to spring free.

Pulling your panties to the side you sunk down on him. This time the sex was not about sensuality it was supposed to be quick comfort. The emotional crap could come later.

You rose onto your knees and dropped back onto his generous length.

“Fuck!” you breathed out. Burying your head in his shoulder so you wouldn’t wake anyone still sleeping.

You were so deeply immersed in your lovemaking you didn’t hear the door open.

“Really? On the couch? Seriously?” you almost jumped off of Bucky at the sound of your grandfather’s hushed voice.

“I’m sorry Steve.” Bucky whispered. And you could tell he was more than close so you kept rocking back and forth on his lap. Steve, noticing that you wouldn’t stop, just turned around and went upstairs with the words “I’ll sleep in your bed then.”

Once he was gone you were finally able to lose yourself in Bucky again.

It didn’t take long for him to reach his high and the moment you felt him shoot his load inside you you couldn’t hold on anymore and the knot burst.

You dropped onto the seat next to Bucky, catching your breath.

“Thank you for that.” he leaned his head back and tucked himself back into his pants.

“No need to thank me. I really like you Buck and I hope that this won’t be a one time thing.” you smiled at him hopefully.

“So do I, but I don’t know if I am good enough for you. I’ve done so much evil in my life. You deserve so much better.” Suddenly he looked so sad again.

“Hey. Look at me Bucky!” you ordered him, grabbing for his face. “What happened to you is not your fault. You were trapped in your own body and you deserve the world. Never think any less of yourself because of your past! You are the reason I am free now. You have saved Steve’s ass more than he probably knows. We love you Bucky and I mean that. You know that my grandma did not only talk a lot about Steve but about you too? You left such an impression on her that even now in her alzheimer ridden mind she still sometimes talks about you. What a gentleman you always were. Handsome, sweet and clever. And I could not dream of someone better than you.” You kissed him deeply with all the emotion you could muster and hoped he would understand.

“Are you sure?” his insecurities were killing you. Peggy had always mentioned the ladies man that he had been but that lay 70 years behind and it broke your heart to see him like this.

“100% sure darling. Now let’s try to catch at least a few more hours of sleep until sunrise.” another kiss later and you had cuddled together on the still too small couch. This time you fell asleep quickly and felt safe by his side.

Two days later Fury had gotten you a plan. Maria Hill would meet you in a sewer system at the edge of D.C. She handed you three computer chips to override the helicarriers weapon systems manually.

The people from hydra, working inside S.H.I.E.L.D did not expect this attack just when project inside was about to launch.

So when the helicarriers had come crashing down on D.C. and every single hydra agent had been taken in custody was it finally time to calm down and get everything in order.

Facing the facts Bucky still needed therapy and someone to look over his conditioning and the damage hydra had done to him. But you were sure to find someone with a solution somewhere. Until then you tried to get used to having a 100 something year old grandfather and his just as old best friend for a boyfriend.

You didn’t know where you were headed but you liked the thought of finding out.

[yamithediaperdork]

Being a role model SUCKS (Inuyasha)

Spending time in the future was usually fun and a break from the stress that the feudal era gave out but the bucketful. Usually but not this visit. Inuyasha should of known something was up when Kagome A) kept talking about how upset and babyish Souta felt needing bedtime diapers as of late (and some day time pull ups, there had been little leaks) but also B) was giving Inuyasha all the instant ramen noodles he could handle and more.

Sadly, nothing quite clicked till they had arrived and then he'd been cornered not only by Kagome, but her mother as well while Souta was playing out behind the house.. and from there everything had gone downhill.

After a long talk (Well the women had talked, Inuyasha had argued but they seemed to ignore any points he made) Inuyasha found himself making a deal that he would give Souta the confidence boost he needed by having someone bigger then him be more BABYISH then him.. and in return Inuyasha got whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it next time he visited.

"And let me tell you right here and now, My list of demands are gonna be HUGE!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome however just smiled and patted his head like he was already just a huffy baby and had lead him off to get dressed for the part.

Souta huffed as he kicked the soccer ball at the goal post, catching it and kicking it back over and over. It just wasn't fair that his bladder was betraying him like this when he was -9- years old! without a doubt in his mind, he was the biggest diaper baby in the whole town, heck maybe even the whole freaking country!

That thought was interrupted as he heard a LOUD crinkling noise and turned to see what it was.. and his ball hit his shin as his jaw almost hit the ground.

Waddling out behind behind Kagome dressed in a red onesie that did NOTHING to hide the thick, massive diaper(s) he was wearing and a pair of sandal's was Inuyasha!

The Half demon was beet red and seemed to be tugging on Kagome's arm, making it clear he'd rather go back inside even as he looked this way and that until, heh, she stopped and gave him a swat on his padded backside and shook a finger at him, talking clearly.

"No Inuyasha, you've been hiding inside for 2 weeks now, you need some fresh air and that's why we're in the future." She scolded.

"But..but.." Inuyasha whined.

"It's ok Inuyasha, I'm sure Souta won't tease you just because you can't control yourself right now." Kagome said in a motherly tone, then turned back to Souta. "Isn't that right Little guy?"

"heh..hehehehe yeah no, I won't at all Little yasha!" Souta said, a big silly grin breaking out on his face now."What even happened though?" he asked, coming over to the pair.

Kagome let go of Inuyasha's hand though gave him a look and the huffing diapered half demon plopped his butt onto the soft dirt of the back yard.

"Oh, we got attacked by a crazy priest who figured the only way to redeem demons was to teach them humility." Kagome started, a well practiced lie. "Basically Poor little Inuyasha, heh, or yasha as you called him..I like that! Anyways, he lost a lot of power and well control of his tinkles and uh-oh's for 3 weeks.Not to mention he's become a lot more..childish as you might of noticed." As Kagome said that with her back to the half demon Inuyasha stuck his tongue out at her and Souta covered his mouth to keep from giggling. Kagome turned to see what was so funny but Inuyasha had stopped JUST in time and was looking away, trying and failing to whistle. "...Anyways..I've been trying to deal with it in the past but frankly he's been stinking up his cabin and I'm sick of washing his diapers. figured why not let him spend the last week of it here and enjoy the freedom to play outside AND the wonders of disposable diapers." she finished.

"oh well, shucks , Little yasha could of came here sooner! I would of helped look after him!" Souta said, swelling with big boy pride since heck he was just in a nice and slim pull-up AND he didn't stink up his diapers! "If you wanna take a little break I'll even watch him for you right now." Souta added.

"Will you? that'd be great!" Kagome gushed and ruffled his hair. "Oh, one thing, with Inuyasha starting to get his control back, you'll have to keep asking him every so often if he need to potty or needs a diaper change. about once a hour. I'd worry more on the diaper change though myself."

the fact that Souta was suppose to be doing a potty check himself once a hour flew right over his head and the little 9 year old nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Don't worry sis, I got this!"

Inuyasha was mentally adding heaps on his list of demands as his new nick name caught on and Kagome went out of her way to make him seem even more helpless.

with his 'darling' girlfriend retreating inside, Souta came over to him and smiled, then bent down and sniffed, confusing Inuyasha for a second.

"Hmm, you SMELL clean for the moment at least." Souta said and then patted Inuyasha's head. "Good boy!"

If he made it thought the week without having to kill someone Inuyasha wanted all the good damn treats.. but knowing the role he was SUPPOSE to play he gave a silly grin (And the heat pats kinda sorta maybe felt nice too.)

"Well little yasha, what do you wanna do? I was playing some soccer but if your muscle control and stuff is all messed up I don't think that's a good idea. sides you likely can't move too fast in your diapies." Souta said.

'So nice but still being a jerk..it must run in the fucking family.' Inuyasha thought then put a thoughtful look on his face. "Ummm we could play hide n seek!" Inuyasha offered up, putting a doopy childish twinge to his voice.

"ok, You hide and I'll seek. I'll give you to the count of 20." Souta said and went to cover his eyes when Inuyasha tugged at his shorts. "Hmm? what's wrong?"

"How many is 20?" Inuyasha asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, not having to force a blush as the pure humiliation of this all was taking care of it for him.

A big grin broke out on Souta's face and he bent down and took Inuyasha's hands in his.

"20 is this many.. and then" and Souta let go of Inuyasha's hands and tapped a finger on the exposed toes since Inuyasha had gone sockless in the sandals. "and this many. Can you keep track of that?"

"Ummm I think so!" Inuyasha said and nodded his head, having to admit that was all sorts of cute.

"Ok then, when I hit 20 you'll hear me say, ready or not, here I come anyways in case you lose count." Souta said and with a last head pat, he stood up and closed his eyes, starting to count.

Of course Inuyasha could of scaled a tree or taken to the roof top even with the bulky diapers he had on, he decided to play fair and also, knew it would ruin the whole plan and he hadn't of put up with it THIS far just to fuck it up now.

He needed what would seem like a good hiding spot to a toddler but clearly wouldn't work for him and now up on his feet he scanned the yard.

"One...two...three...four.."

Jesus, this wasn't like a life or death battle but for Inuyasha he found himself frozen on the spot, trying to figure out what would work, his natural instinct to win was messing up his need to lose!

"Five...six..seven.."

ok this was just getting stupid! he fought the urge to face palm and then spotted a narrow opening under the steps to the back porch, it would hide him from Souta's direct line of sight but would of gotten him caught as soon as the little guy came close.

"Eight...nine...ten, That's half the count yasha!" Souta called.

'heh, he really is a fair sport.' Inuyasha thought, then as stealthy as he could (read, not at all) waddled his way over to his chosen hiding spot even as his tummy started to feel a little bit weird.

'Must be that glass of icky juice they insisted I drink before coming out so I don't get dehydrated.' Inuyasha thought, crinkling loudly and having to speed up.

"Fourteen...fifteen...sixteen..." Souta called out, a big goofy grin on his face.

Waddling with all the speed he muster and keep up the lie, Inuyasha drove to get into the hole.. and found out that while he had been right he could of squeezed in there normally.. he hadn't taken into account the triple diapers. His upper half was in, but his padd butt and legs stuck out and he knew if he tried to force himself in,he'd end up losing them.

'fuck my life..'

"seventeen, eighteen..nineteen...twenty! Ready or not here I ..pffft.. come..heh. Did you get stuck little yasha?"

Inuyasha had been about to push himself back out but with Souta's suggestion, figured that worked and started to give out a sheepish yes, but his tummy cramped and it came out much more panicked.

"Yeah! Uh.. Please help me git out!" he said, one hand keeping him from going into the dead leaves and the like under the step but the other was on his tummy, and he kicked his legs a little more to try and work out the cramp.

"hey, it's ok! don't worry! I'm coming over, though you have to stop kicking your legs. I'm gonna grab you at the waist and pull you back, so watch your head!" Souta called, and Inuyasha could hear him running over.

"O-Ok." The half demon whimpered, the cramps were getting worst and he semi pushed back a little giving Souta a better place to grip though he didn't take into account with the building cramps he might not want someone wrenching on his midsection.

'oh god, this feels like that time I ate those clam's that had gone bad right before I..I..Oh those fucking bitches!' Inuyasha thought, cluing in to why the ladies of the house had grinned so big when Inuyasha had downed his drink to get the icky tasting thing over and done with.

he had a brief second to think about just calling this off, he'd get himself out and whine to Souta that his tummy hurt and try and shit himself somewhere private, but by then it was far, far too late.

Souta's little arms and hands were trying to pull him out and the extra force on his tummy tum meant that while he did get free, pushing himself back to make it look like it was all Souta, he banged his head on the step knocking him loopy for a split second and also started to filled his diapers.

As he loudly farted and giggled, he wore a blissful stupid derp face.

Souta was shocked at just how strong he was as he freed the poor trapped little guy, though it was soon replaced with amusement and disgust as Inuyasha started to let out massive wet fart and then more then that, a stupid look on his face.

"Uhhh yasha, are you going boom boom?" Souta asked, holding his nose. it was rhetorical question at this point as the diaper was starting to swell, so Souta didn't figure he was gonna need to do a sniff check.

"Hehehe Ya! Going PBBBBBBTTTT!" Inuyasha giggled and stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry.

"heh, you surrrre are buddy. but it's ok. You uh.. stay here and finish up and I'll go get Kagome ok?" He said/asked, coming over and patting Inuyasha's head.

"OOOOOOTAYYYY!" the diaper pooping derp coo'ed.

"heh..wish Kagome would of worked me you went all derp when you unload. kinda cute." Souta giggled, then dashed up the step's to stick his head in the back door.

"Kagome! You need to come and get your boyfriend, he's pooping himself silly, Literally!" Souta called.

Yeah, wearing pull-ups sucked, but as Souta pulled his head back out of the back door and looked down at Inuyasha, at least he was a stinky diaper derp.

The end..for now

[19agbrown]

Returned Part 1

Series: Returned

Supernatural fan-fic

Chapter: 1

Pairing(s): Dean x Cas(eventually)

Warnings: language, violence, mention of child abuse, sibling murder, some deancas fluff and angst, hinted deancas smut(nothing too bad, but I thought I should mention it anyway), dean nightmare, and let me know if there is something I should've put but didn't.

Note: This is my way of celebrating my blog hitting 200 FOLLOWERS. I'm very excited about this, and I've had this idea for a while, so I figured that I'd write it for my 200 celebration, but I'm delighted to say that that came far sooner than I expected. I just wanted to say thank you SO much for following me! And please let me know in the comments how you feel about chapter 1 of "Returned". If you want tagged for further chapters, let me know, and I'll see if I can figure out how to work the tags. If you have any suggestions for further chapters, let me know, and ill see what I can do to put it in! Once again, thank you all so much for following me! Chapter 2 will be posted soon!

(Dream in italics)

At 11:32pm, a black 1967 Chevy Impala pulled into the garage of an old Men of Letters bunker, carrying 5 weary passengers. The driver, a tall man with startling green eyes, sighed upon entering. "Home sweet home." This man, was Dean Winchester. And the other 4 passengers, of course, were; Sam and Mary Winchester, Castiel the Angel, and Jack Kline the Nephilim. The very odd family had just returned from a fairly tough Werewolf hunt.

Bruised, bleeding, and just plain exhausted, the family exited the car, and entered the seemingly endless hallway that would deliver them to the Bunker proper. "Who wants pancakes?" Mary asked with a falsely cheerful smile. "I do!" Jack replied almost at once. Mary gave Jack a tired chuckle and a fond smile. Sam said as he dropped the dark blue duffle bag onto the war room table, "I'm sure Dean does too." Dean shook his head, and said through a yawn, "No, I'm good." Sam frowned at Dean, and laughed when Castiel put a hand to Dean's forehead. Blushing a deep shade of pink, Dean spluttered, "C-Cas, what exactly are you doing?" Castiel squinted at Dean, and tilted his head to the side as he replied, "I am checking your temperature." 

Ignoring Sam's extremely loud laughter, Dean asked, "And why are you doing that?" Dropping his hand, Castiel replied, "You turned down food, so I thought you might be sick." At this, Sam laughed so hard that Dean was surprised that he wasn't running for a bathroom. Dean's blush deepened from pink to red, as he said, "No Cas, I'm not sick, I'm just tired. I just need to sleep a little. Get my 4 hours in, ya know?" Castiel frowned, and said, "No, I do not. But I will take your word for it." Dean cleared his throat, and said, "Alright then. I'm going to bed. Unless... you would like to come with me?"

Dean said this with a slight hopefulness that did not escape the attention of Mary and Sam, but Castiel noticed nothing. In his typical confused fashion, Castiel took Dean's offer to be a joke. "So, this is sarcasm." He thought. Not knowing how to respond to what he took to be just Dean's sense of humor, Castiel treated it as a serious request. "No thank you, Dean. I will just go and read some lore in the library."

With sadness that was obvious to everyone in the room, Dean nodded, and turned on his heel. Thinking hopefully that Dean had not been just joking, Castiel reached his hand out to stop him from leaving. But Dean was already slipping moodily through the doorway, and into the winding hallway that lead to Dean's room.

Dean sped quickly to his room, cursing his own stupidity the entire way. Slamming the door behind him, Dean went in. Not bothering to even undress, Dean dropped down to his bed, and sprawled himself out on top of the covers. Dean thought that, as usual, he would be kept up by thoughts of Cas, but much to his surprise, his eye lids began to droop as soon as his head touched the pillow.

The few feet between them might as well have been miles. Dean started as his sweeping gaze caught bright blue eyes, blinking slowly in the dim light. "Hello Dean." The gravelly voice behind the eyes that he so loved spoke. "C-Cas?" Dean's voice echoed in the small space. Suddenly Cas was under him, and smiling a shy, but perfect smile.

Dean couldn't believe that this was happening. Cas was here, and Cas was his. He HAD to be dreaming. It was with a pang that he realized he really was dreaming. If this were real, Cas would never be here, or be his.

But, Dean decided to make the most of the most beautiful person he had ever seen, laying completely naked beneath him. Even if it WAS only a dream.

Cas gave of a cute little gasp as Dean's mouth crashed against his. Dean shuddered as Cas' long fingers dug into his back. "C-Cas?" Dean said shyly. Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's hair as he replied softly. "Yes Dean?" Dean gulped before saying the one thing that he had wanted to tell the real Cas for years.

"I love you." Cas offered Dean a shy smile and Dean studied his face as a hint of pink lit it up. "I love you too Dean." Dean sighed in relief. Dean's sigh turned into a growl as Cas ran his hand down Dean's back, going lower and lower. Dean gasped in shock as Cas' hand found it's destination.

Cas laughed a gravelly laugh that Dean could listen to forever, before pulling the blanket up over their heads.

When they finally reemerged from under the blanket, Dean's face was a mask of joy, and Cas' face was lit up with bliss. "That was..." Dean began before he trailed off. "I know." Cas said quietly. But just as Dean's arms wrapped around Cas' glowing frame, everything changed.

A whirlwind the color of blood spiraled across Dean's perfect dream, and Cas was ripped away from him. "Cas!" Dean shouted desperately. But Cas was unable to answer as he was carried away on the wind. Dean screamed as the whirlwind swept him up, and he was tossed all around the red vertex.

When the whirlwind finally dropped Dean, he was standing right smack in the middle of an old nightmare that he hadn't seen in years. This nightmare was something that Dean used to dread, but over the years, the event that lead to it had become so faint that Dean could almost pretend that it had happened the way he and John had told Sam it had. 

Dean's tear filled green eyes were locked onto her blood shot brown ones. She was no older than he was, in fact she was 12 minuets younger, but she looked like she was years older. Dean knew her to be a very cheerful person, but the dark circles under her eyes told him that her story lately had not been so bright. Dean tried his best to keep his eyes averted from the scarlet blood that had been forcefully smeared across her mouth, but to no avail.

Dean started as his father's cold words bit into his brain like knives. "Do it Dean." He had said. The tears which Dean was struggling to hold back threatened to spill over as she begged him, "Dean... don't do it. Please don't do it." She wasn't crying, and Dean was not surprised. She was made of tougher stuff than that. His hands were slick with sweat on the leather covered handle of John's revolver. "Dean. Now." John Commanded.

Dean couldn't breathe. Her calm eyes bore into his, as she said in a reasonable tone, the same tone she had used when coaxing Sammy to finish his dinner, "Dean, you don't have to do this, you're better than this." His hands began shaking. He didn't want to do it, but what other choice did he have?  "Dean! Do as I say!" John shouted angry at being disobeyed. Dean flinched, expecting the rough hit that would usually accompany his disobedience. But the hit never came, making Dean realize that John didn't want this either. Not really. But he had asked it to be done, so it had to be done. Slowly as he could, Dean reluctantly slid his index finger to the cold, steel trigger. 

"Dean, you don't have to do what Dad says, you can walk away from this." Her soft and gentle tone did nothing to soften the implication of her words. Did she think he couldn't do it? Did she really think that he was that weak? He wasn't weak, and he meant to tell her that, but what came out instead would tell her just exactly what he had decided to do. "Shut up Alley! Just shut up! I'm not like you! I'm not a weak, insufferable coward! I don't abandon my family when they need me! I didn't take Sammy and run, leaving behind the only other 2 people who cared about me! No, Alley. I can't walk away. I won't walk away. I'm so sorry Sissy, and I hope that you'll forgive me in Heaven, if we make it there. If not, then see you in Hell."

Her brown eyes widened, betraying the first sign of terror. Her voice was pitched overly high as she said, "Dean..." BANG! Dean gasped as the tiny revolver recoiled in his sweaty hands. Dean screamed in anguish as he saw the perfectly round bullet-hole in her forehead. "You had to do it son." John said grimly, ignoring Dean's cries. Dean walked stiffly over to where she layed, rigid as a board. Dean fell to his knees next to her, and let his tears fall freely. Dean, gently as he could manage, cradled her head in his lap. 

Dean then began rocking numbly back and forth. "I'm so sorry Sissy, I had to do it. I'm so sorry." Dean repeatedly whispered to her deaf ears. Dean's whispers slowly got louder as she just layed there, unknowing and uncaring that his very soul felt like it was shattering. John reached a shaking hand over Dean's shoulder and closed the glassy, sightless eyes of his only daughter. "Bye Princess." John whispered faintly. 

Dean's whispers rose to screams of "Sissy wake up! I'm sorry Sissy! Please wake up!" Then he began repeating at the same volume, "Sissy no! Sissy no! Sissy no!" A deep rumbling voice that had never been there before yelled, "Dean wake up!" Dean heard the slightly familiar voice as if from the other end of a long, long tunnel. Dean watched in shock as Alley did something she had never done before. She woke up. "Dean." She said angrily. Dean's screams didn't stop, but his heart nearly did as she stood. The bullet-hole was miraculously gone, and she looked at him with none of the love he remembered seeing in those eyes, even when they were blank and glassy. 

"Dean wake up!" the voice cut in again, sounding closer this time. "Dean," She said to him, some of the old love seeping back into her voice and eyes. "Beany, you've got to wake up. And you can't dream about me anymore okay?" Still screaming, Dean nodded. "There's my good -" 

But her good what, he would never know, for at this moment, Castiel finally succeeded at waking him up. Dean sat up, still screaming her name. Castiel's arms enveloped him instantly. And mere seconds later, Sam's hand clamped onto his shoulder. Tears poured down Dean's face in streams. Great, wracking sobs ripped through Dean's body. "It's okay Dean. Shhhh... You're okay. You're safe, I promise." Castiel's voice soothingly rumbled. Dean shook his head, and burried his face into Castiel's shoulder. 

Mary's voice sounded from somewhere to Dean's right, and she sounded worried. "What's wrong with Dean?" She asked. Dean dug his fingers into Castiel's back as he thought that she wouldn't care if she knew what he had done. Nobody answered Mary.

Castiel tilted his head a bit to the side and asked Sam, "Who is Sissy?" Cas and Sam immediately felt Dean tense. Sam took a moment to gather his thoughts, and then answered slowly, "Sissy is the nickname that Dean had for our sister." Mary nodded and said, "Like how he calls you Sammy." Sam shrugged, "Not exactly. He always called her that because she wasn't a sissy. She was tougher than Dean or I, and we all knew it. I think that calling her Sissy just made him feel better about it, and she never minded much, so he just kept doing it."

Castiel squinted at Sam. "You have a sister?" Sam nodded. "Yes. Well... had a sister..." Castiel tilted his head even further to the side. "Had?" Sam cleared his throat and said, "She died when I was 13. Vamp got her. Dad and Dean saw the whole thing, but couldn't stop it. She was Dean's twin." Castiel's arms tightened even more around Dean as Sam finished.

Miles away, the ground beneath a 23-year-old oak tree began heaving and moving. In a matter of minutes, a girl was crawling out of it. All 6 feet of her stood on the edge of the patch of churned earth, staring up at the light purple sky, just visible through the tree branches. It had been so long since she'd last seen the sky, but just how long, she had no clue.

"Dean," She whispered to the heavens with an edge in her voice. "I'm coming for you brother."