#-cause I've actually already started it. And also focus on that art I been wanting to do with Axlerod.

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

It's so funny to me that I have so many creative things that I want to do that I'm going to like have to... make a list and pick and be like... okay Kane we are focusing on this one today right now😊

I have so many drawing ideas, I have that Winter/Christmas themed selfshipping game that I wanted to do that started on the 14th, I want to revamp my whole S/I story with Storm...

[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!

But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)

And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.

Ok now for big Project Time!!!

I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.

I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:

BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.

Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)

Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)

Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)

Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.

And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.

Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)

Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation

the ability to request topics for videos

Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)

This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.

Discounts on commissions

A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.

All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh

Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?

If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3

[skeletoninthemelonland]

First of all, so so sorry your situation. Im in a similar one actually so I really hope you're okay. Even though it's not dire, mine isn't either, it's very draining and can be super overwhelming since you dont have the support of your parents to guide you. People have already mentioned keeping documents in order. you mentioned commissions, time how long it takes you do to things and decided how you'd like to be paid based on the hour. Do Not undersell yourself. If you're uncomfortable with people maybe seeing your real name/using real info for payments, there are companies that work as your registered agent (at least that's what it's called in the usa) that you can use the address of for a yearly fee

You can also look into passive income things with art like making stickers for redbubble and Ive heard about artists making stock images before but I don't know how that really work tbh ^^;

-

here's a good post on general adult knowledge

here's a post on things to know once your out

Always Pay Rent First. Normally there's always some sort of way to get food, losing your apartment makes it super hard to keep a job

-

As for staying sane, people really help. Not necessarily even talking a whole ton.

Going and sitting at a cafe or park. wandering around a mall.

It's why I adore anime cons. You can look up board game or crafting groups in your area. If you're lgbtqia you can look for nearby queer centers, they're really helpful for advice and resources. Libraries are ridiculously useful. My nearby one hosts plenty of events and has a poster board for nearby event happening. You can just spend the afternoon there.

Journaling and deep breathing and calm music all really help me too.

Therapy has always been the most helpful but not everyone has access to that.

Also getting a good nights rest. So many of my problems have been helped a lot by getting better sleeping habits

-

As for where to move, think about things like climate, laws, how the people there act. My town is super queer friendly but two towns over they're very much not, so be careful. Normally a simple google search on the name of a town can tell you a lot about it.

When picking out apartments, things like if you have animals or a car are super important. I have a car so Im looking for somewhere that has dedicated parking cause I can't afford someone hitting it when it's parked on the side walk.

-

There are jobs that lead into other jobs. Knowing powered equipment, such as forklifts, can score you better paying jobs in the future.

If you're looking into something art wise, just focus on portfolio, no one cares if you went to college as long as you can do what they need.

There's also apps for things like setting up dog sitting. I've also heard of event staffing companies that'll give you jobs as they come, never done it though so look thoroughly into that.

you can look up the average rent/utilities and such of a town you want to live in to get an idea of what you'll be paying

-

Credit score is super important in the usa to renting, but I don't know if you have that or an equivalent. If there's is, there should be secured credit cards that help you start building credit if you have none.

-

Just remember that this won't last forever and you got this!! it's painful and scary but it's temporary.

Also remember that you still deserve better even though you're not being abused, it still hurts and that's vaild.

I dont know if any of this is helpful but I wish you the best and feel free to ask questions if you need anything :D

.

[techramonic]

you wanted to do investigative journalism for a while, right? How’d you get into that?

Yes anon, thanks for asking! This is going to be a bit long haha, but I enjoy this question a lot.

I've always been interested in journalism. In 4th grade, I had already been joining competitions for news writing and broadcasting. That's when I started seeing patterns with the consistency of crimes being on the headlines. Of course, it didn't matter so much to me at the time. Overtime, I started being more curious about the news and watching shows and documentaries about scene of the crime opperatives. I inherited my curiousity from my dad, whk consistently kept up with the news either on telivision or newspaper.

Those that get reported almost always include violence. Murder, war, human rights violations. What impacted me was that I began to notice the detachment of peers around my age to the matter. You know, the “Who cares? It's cool to own a gun anyway.” mindset that the media embedded. As if violence is a virtue. I didn't want to be indifferent or supportive of that idea. I was totally against it. To them, crime is a normal everyday occurence, to me, it's a societal epidemic that needed to change.

I've tried out academic debates and while I was good and even won a medal for my speech about pro-vaccination in 10th grade, it wasn't for me. By junior year, I was more involved in campus activism and journalism. I am currently joining the news writing for my high school and last year I was the head editor of our humanities and arts writing journal. In competitions I have joined like writing, slam poetry, and art, I've voiced out about agricultural disparities, recognition and protection of cultural minorities and LGBTQ+, anti-war, anti-political apathy, etc. I've won several of them and at the same time, I also jumped back into researching true crime. I shifted from serial killing to mass murder because I saw that media is more prevalent with the influence on mass murderers. With this, I thought I could at least provide readers a more in-depth prespective on what contributes to such phenomena occuring.

Plus, I've also been a big fan of Sociology. It became a cornerstone for me to focus on the complex aspects of human behaviour and how society shapes us. I figured that with it, I could learn more on the sociological imagination behind crime, specifically how criminals have the tendencies to be very drawn to violence, and how this is primarily due to how our society and the media plays a crucial role in subconsciously provoking and enforcing the mindset of romanticisation. People always blame the media all the time, but we're forgetting that the media is what society wants us to see. It's the manifestations of the reality we live.

The kill count on journalists are high, especially with politics involved. Guess you can call me kick buttowski for being a daredevil. My family and friends have always been worried, even my dad. However, they know that it's my ambitions and as long as I stay safe, they'll be happy. I'm well aware that I might get a bullet through the head in a field like this and I have to process paper after paper about the gruesome realities of life, but if that's what will help the people, then so be it. Some people have said that I'm "empathetic" or "big-hearted" for being so courageous and wanting to pursue a career that isn't necessarily stable and in actuality, dangerous, but in truth, I'm as normal as anyone else. Everyone can be help people. The only thing is I don't want to do it for the thrill or just for fame, I really want to help people and make a change on our society, even if I have to build it brick by brick and the process is excruciatingly slow.

I think dying for that would be a good cause, and truthfully speaking, I am not hoping to die anytime soon because I want to help people out, you know, collectively. I want to be able to better understand the patterns behind the perpetuation of crime and also help others be aware and understand instead of being indifferent or supportive of crime. I want to be able to contribute to the public discourse on justice and accountability. I aim to not only inform the public but also to provoke critical thinking and inspire action in advocating for societal change.

[rtcpickyourpoison]

You did such an amazing job with the way the list is presented. Bravo!

Also love the banner for this blog lol

For the free day, would one be allowed to put the focus on a relevant OC? Like a parent or other choir member?

I just really love your work. You very much inspired my AU, "Are We Ever Going Back?" <33

1. Thank you very much!! I can't take credit for that, my buddy @twistthescript made the graphic. We conceptualized it together over vc but she did most of the work on that aspect so I gotta hand it to her. If you aren't familiar with Twist already I highly recommend checking out her page and giving her a follow cause she's a hell of a writer and has one big fat juicy galaxy brain!!

2. Lol the banner I actually drew for someone as a doodle request a while back. Someone wanted Ricky dressed in his SABM regalia and I just find that "Oh my goodness what have I gotten myself into?" line super endearing. Mainly I chose it because I feel that line encapsulates how just about everyone feels when they decide to take on an art/writing challenge, it's certainly how Twist and I felt while we were doing June Doe and June started to wind down and we were on a time crunch. So I just felt it was the funniest and most appropriate choice for this event as well lol

3. Yep, for free day any character or characters are fair game so long as they somehow relate back to RTC!!

4. Oh wow, thank you so much!! Your AU has come across my dash and I've read a little bit of it but I've been sick lately, so I definitely will continue reading it once I feel well enough to give it my full attention. I'm actually a licensed nurse IRL (that's what compelled me to write my fic) so another fic prominently featuring a character as a nurse is really awesome to me. Kind of a "two cakes" situation!!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

hey! i've been following your blog for a good couple years now and i always felt sm comfort from the posts you make and reblog, and even the asks you answer so kindly

there's been something that's been bugging me and even if it's been months since it's happened, i'm still left to pick myself up and process it in a way that's not just objective but also a little kinder to myself

i was on my second sem for the year and we were tasked with a major competition project (it was an arts project). naturally, i asked to partner up with one of my friends in the class, because they had strengths that i didn't, and i thought we'd make a great team in combining our strengths together! later on, i started feeling drained being with them because even if it's a partner project, anytime i provide concepts original and personal to me, they'd always shut me down and prefer something they created. i'd always joke to my (now ex) circle that they felt more like a "boss" and i was the "employee" but now i realize how much truth was hidden in that joke. even when we were making the actual artwork and there was a plan to follow, they'd always nitpick on something they want me to quickly modify, they'd get passively frustrated that i'm a bit slow with my part (because i handled majority of the rendering), they even got me to fix their mistakes when i was still busy with my own part for the project. few hours before the deadline, i was made known that another friend in our circle snitched about me, and it caused me to panic and have a meltdown. instead of them gently reminding me to focus on our project, they got visibly upset i was getting distracted.

it didn't even stop there, they were the class president and led the class for the classroom design contest. my classmate and i noticed that they would nitpick on our assigned part so much, while they weren't as demanding of the other two teams. my classmate even wondered if it was because they had something against me and it carried over to our team.

i already left that friend circle after i got snitched on and i had enough of my project partner. but that didn't really help me heal from it because i didn't have anyone i could always go to when i needed comfort. that experience was probably traumatic to me because i started hating going to school and fighting the urge to cry when i hear their voices or sense their presence close by.

at the end of the school year, my close confidante from the class and even my best friend from my hometown told me that what i went through was bullying, if not that, harassment. to this day, i'm still conflicted so i was hoping to ask you if it's an experience i couldn't control. because i still blame myself for not being enough that maybe i couldve prevented what happened,,

No that would have been a really frustrating and upsetting situation for anyone, and it definitely sounds like you had a valid reason to be hurt and upset. I'm so sorry they put you through that ❤️

[ask-postcrash-curly]

Not.. really. But it's okay, I'll be okay. Soon enough, anyway.

A short summary is the weather is bothering me and I've been cramping up in my hand way more than I think is normal. I mean, twice in one day? Maybe I should enter the lottery haha. It's only bothering me because I'm worried it will effect me worse in the years to come.

I have a lot to say, and I don't know if I have enough time. So.

Firstly, I wanted to talk to you now about my hopes and dreams and all that. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about them, at least not without feeling like too much of a bother, but you seem to like when I talk a lot. This will have me talk a lot.

I wanted to be a lot, growing up. A doctor, a vet, a YouTuber, an astrologer. Anything to do with gems, animals, or being helpful. One thing I was terrified of was of being forgotten.

I was terrified of dying doing nothing, of wasting my life.

The one thing I did focus on, regretfully, was art.

I grew up drawing and I still do. But I don't want this to be a job. I'm not good enough for it to be. I struggle drawing multiple people, bodies, faces.

I still want to draw, but I think I want to live on a farm instead. Study agriculture in a trade school and apply it there. I want to grow my own crops, to raise my own animals, to do physical tasks, to feel like I'm contributing to something bigger. I don't know if that makes sense.

Secondly, it's kind of a question.

Are you religious? Or ever been?

I was somehow accidentally raised southern Baptist. How was that possible with a non dominational/evangelical (?) Father? Because he would always try to take me where those VBS events happened, and this one church hosted them really frequently.

I feel like when it comes to different parts of the church, it's hard to really understand whats what, but when you specify you were raised southern Baptist vs Baptist it somehow gets a look or response of 'Ah, now you make sense.'

I'm not SB anymore, I'm trying to separate myself from the church entirely because it's not a belief that's ever really made me happy. You know, the teachers there somewhat hated me? At least I think they did. I was always asking questions, and was always given either an understandable or a nowhere answer.

I remember once we were doing these hands on tasks downstairs, stations and all that. At one, we would make a bracelet with white green red yellow blue black (?) Beads (I still have this. It doesn't fit anymore.), a tie-dye T shirt, etc. I only really remember these because at one you had to write down things you loved so I, around 5 I want to guess?, wrote "1. My family, 2. My friends, 3. God". I wrote it in order of what I thought of, only to have a teacher tell me: "You need to put God as #1". I don't know why that ticked me off as bad as it did, but I remember being real frustrated I had to rewrite everything hahaha.

I'm hellenic poly now. Greek gods and all. I used to be open about it in person, but after an incident with getting ... ahem... not so quietly made fun of for telling a myth. I've started keeping it to myself.

It does sound silly? In a way? Like why would someone worship old Greek gods? But it's reassuring. It feels like they're actually there when I ask for help, and I don't have to be terrified of damnation with everything I do. Just have to avoid misinformation and I'll manage.

Hmn. What else. There's still so much to say, there's always so much to say.

Oh, I've been researching more medical things recently. Like, okay. Well, this is an old fact of mine, but did you know tears contain acid?

Okay, small levels but still. It's what causes the area around the eye to get that burning feeling after a while.

And, forgive me if I'm wrong, they also contain iron. Or, more specifically, a little of a compound close to iron I believe? It has a name, but I've already forgotten it I fear. But because of that, it's what causes something called "tear stains" (?). Aka the faint red lines by the corners of the eye after someone has a really good cry. It usually goes away after you wash your face, but I'm pretty sure it can leave a mark after a while.

Ush. Sharks. Okay, sharks. Shark fact time

The longest living vertebrae is the Greenland Shark. This is because they live in real fucking cold depths and move slow. They're also usually blind and tend to live up to 300(?) Years or more

Sharks can't swim backwards

The creator of Jaws genuinely didn't mean to tarnish sharks reputation in the media, at least as far as I remember.

Lemon sharks! They are like puppies of the ocean. They will come up to researchers for pets and will beef with other lemon sharks if they try to get pets from their favorite.

Sharks are also very curious creatures, but unfortunately do not have hands to explore...,, which leaves their mouths..,

If it's not obvious, I also adore marine life. And with my knowledge I will say that I adore sharks and I need dolphins - especially Orcas - to go extinct asap if they may (not really, for ecosystem reasons, but gods.)

I think I got out all I wanted?

Oh, no, one more thing before I sleep again.

I absolutely love spending time with you, Captain.

I love seeing you be happy, I love the people here for treating you well. Mostly.

I don't know what the future holds, I don't know how to solve everything, but if I know anything? You just need to hold out and keep your hopes high.

Never forget that, yeah?

Alright. I've said all I can.

Night, captain.

⁰ Snow ❄️

Okay, then. Hang in there, yeah? Sorry for the pain and the worry.

I do like when you talk. Please go ahead.

Mm. I know the feeling.

Regretfully...?

I don't... think there's anything wrong with that, you know? Living on a farm sounds really nice. A good life. With your art to do at your leisure. Yeah. However it works out, I hope it makes you happy.

Culturally, I guess. Went to church and temple now and then growing up, but we were never all that committed to either, and I never thought of it particularly seriously.

Accidentally? This I've got to hear.

Mm, glad you're separating from it then. That's hardly fair of them.

No, no, I get it. That sounds infuriating to have to redo all your work that way. Especially for a little kid.

Shitty of them to make fun of you. Sorry to hear. I'm happy you've got something that works for you.

They do? Damn. And to think the burning feeling in my eye is from lack of tears. (And eyelids, but who's counting?)

I'm sorry, iron? Fuck. Never would've guessed that. Even if I could cry I hardly think faint red lines would show up on me!

Sharks, yes, good. Tell me all about the sharks.

Oh!! I knew the ones about the backwards swimming and Jaws! Yeah, apparently that film really hurt sharks. It's a shame.

Lemon sharks? That's a brilliant name for a shark. God, that's adorable.

I don't have hands either. Maybe I'm a shark. (Probably not.)

Marine life's very cool!

I love hearing from you too, Snow. You've really brightened by days.

Hah. I'll try my best. Thank you.

Night, Snow. Rest well.

[hydrangeyes]

Mk x spray painter Male reader ☁️☁️

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

Edit: So shuffling through my docs It's been brought to my attention that wattpad (who I use as backup) Cut a lot of my fics in half??? anyway I'll be trying to fix that also

-----------------------------------------------------

Aaaahhhh this is such a cute idea!!!

Mk sees male reader spray painting on a wall and what's to join/try it out!

Warning: None!! Just super cute and mushy

Requested by: ekkozied

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the most part you started this mural on your own. The building owner wanting to brighten up the alley walkway to their backyard café, and well, the pay was really good. A quick in and out job really.

So you didn't mind cleaning it up and prepping the wall, what you didn't expect was just...how big the wall actually was.

Letting out a breathe you step back shaking the can of black paint as you eye the sketch you placed. Took you since this early morning, and by the sound of your stomach. It was definitely time for lunch.

Doing some stretches and fully opening your bag of spray paints. You felt in the mood for something pretty light but filling.

"Hmm, Pigsy's noodles it is"

Your stomach ended up making you buy 2 servings...

-------------

It didn't take long for your food to arrive, and while it wasn't your order you couldn't help but look back at the cute delivery driver.

Wide eyed and curious, Mk quickly was distracted by the mess of empty paint cans and the sketch you had on the wall. "Woah this looks so cool! How long have you been doing this!?" he shouts in excitement turning to you, seeing you on the ground eating.

You pause to swallow then grin "Thanks! A bit of a hobby, uh spray painting or working on this?"

"Yes." Mk asks

Letting out a snorted laugh you wave him to join you, which he does sitting close, "Let's see, I've been into art and specifically spray painting since middle school I think. Been working on this commission since 4 am? maybe 5?"

Mk gasps dramatically going a small tangent about hoping you at least took a break or how he couldn't even focus on being still for that long. to which as you watch him suddenly start organizing your empty cans, could tell.

"I like to draw and everything but I never branched out of sketches? Can't even imagine spray painting."

You tilt your head finishing up your bowl of noodles and getting up with a content stretch. Fully charged and ready to work.

"Well how about giving it a try now?"

Mk shakes his head watching as you pull out the colors you plan to use. "What!? Oh no no no! I would ruin it, what if I make a huge mess and then-" You interrupt him but handing over an orange spray can. Looking up at you Mk blushes at the calm and soft smirk you give him.

"I'll help if it's needed but that's the fun with spray painting. It dries quick and you can always paint over any mistakes." you wink stepping back and picking up a blue can. "So go wild delivery man."

Looking at the can Mk smiles a little. "Call me Mk."

---------------

You both had fun for hours, coloring in your design and every now and then when mk stayed in one spot too long, getting it on each other.

It was a big piece so day after day, mk came with lunch and a helping hand (When you allowed it). Laughing and tossing cans to one another, it was care free and even when you put on the finishing touches, mk stuck around around, watching you work and talking calmly about his recent training session or frustrations.

You catch yourself, when you start feeling excited when the time for lunch came around. Inwardly trying to keep your cool when when you both were tired, mk leans his head on your shoulder for a quick nap.

Falling asleep with him may have caused a slight scene, someone passing by thinking there was an accident (You guys forgot to clean up the red paint...).

He found himself, really relaxing with you. It was different than with mei which confused him at first. Till one day, it was just a little too hot and you took off your shirt to keep working and not get a heat stroke. Yeah. this feel was very different, that and he felt genuinely safe with you (emotionally of course).

-----------------

So when it was all said in done you both couldn't help but feel a little bit sad.

You came to deeply enjoy the hyper man, find him cute and a great talker for times of burn out. And he adored the time with just having fun uninterrupted with someone he....well he realized he was starting to catch feelings for.

It shouldn't have been too much of a surprised when Mk suddenly asks you out. In the middle of cleaning your equipment up, you jolt as you feel him take hold of your arm. you see how he couldn't really look at you, his cheeks a deep red and shifting as if shy.

"Mk?"

He's quiet then with a deep breathe, looks at you straight in the eyes with all the determination and adoration he had.

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME N/N!"

Blinking at the outburst then seeing how he started to fidget more, it finally registered what he asked/shout.

Blushing you smile brightly.

"I would love too."

[crumbleclub]

I've been putting some thought into what various Aftons might be like when seriously panicked, and this is what I've got so far.

Evan:

We have the most canon information for Evan in this area

Fear makes Evan cry. In a panic, he'll cry, have difficulty breathing, pretty standard stuff.

It's not uncommon for him to lose coordination and kind of just fall over

Panics easily, but maintains awareness well enough even at his lowest points

Almost always a freeze response, even though he wants to run. Becomes as small and unnoticeable as possible, aside from occasionally trying to seek outside help. (Nobody ever helps.)

Cries nearly silently.

Shakes like a leaf when he's afraid.

Responds the best to comfort out of any of them. Literally just acknowledge that he's suffering and don't torment him further and you'll make it like 10% less bad

Give him something comforting

Elizabeth

Rarely panics. Getting her to panic would require something to be both extremely distressing and surprising, and not many surprises escape her intellect

That being said, enough stressors piled up will result in a sort of burst of frustration that's identical to what a panic attack would look like for her anyway

Fight response. So much fight response.

Throwing things, breaking things. She tends to end up destroying things she really loves, and it often makes her cry afterward.

If anyone else is present, it's yelling, starting arguements about literally anything, insulting anyone within her sight, etc etc.

It's best to give her space and a safe place to calm down without breaking anything she really cares about. She'd benefit from being given the idea of punching something soft or screaming into a pillow or something like that. Put her into martial arts also maybe?

Calms down quickly when left alone, but it makes things worse if anyone tries to engage.

She would benefit from talking about it after she's already calmed down, because at that point she's tired and sad and could use the comfort

Michael

Michael generally doesn't panic during stressful events. He panics after they've ended.

During actual stressors, Mike will either be eerily calm and rational or dissociated to the point of it being obvious to anyone around him. This is directly related to how much focus is needed to survive a scenario; his brain will protect him in the face of danger by keeping him aware, but he's more likely to have to pay for it later during the inevitable panic

He tends to panic about something small and unrelated shortly after something major happens

And Michael's panic attacks are scary.

There are less severe instances ofc but when they get really bad

It's the kind of presentation that would get emergency services called if it happened in public.

It's the ugly kind of panic attack that makes onlookers think you're actually posessed. That strangled, scream-talking that's difficult to understand, sobbing, choking when he tries to breathe, red in the face, falling on the ground– it's really, really bad. It's a huge scene every time

He's got a fight response turned inward, and he's very likely to be a harm to himself in an actual panic

Because of this, he goes out of his way to avoid any possible chance of this happening in front of anybody. He will legitimately hole up in his room for weeks if he's worried something is going to set him off

Or he'll try to trigger one on purpose so he can control the circumstances and maybe lessen the severity

The really bad ones generally don't even happen that often but they really do fuck with him

Best response for Michael: stay with him and don't act like he's the spawn of satan

The drinking water trick works to steady his breathing somewhat

His attacks generally last <10 minutes anyway just bc of the sheer amount of energy consumed, so they basically just need to be waited out

Bonus round:

William

I cannot think of a circumstance that would cause William to have an actual panic attack

That being said, he's a flight response when he's actually frightened. If he thinks his life is in danger, he'll get shaky and sweaty, and he'll run

He always tries to put on the facade of having some kind of power, but it's not always that convincing. Faced with a life or death situation, he's one of those types who would stumble backwards and fall to the ground rather than find some way to fight back

In order to be conniving, he needs the upper hand. If you want to defeat William, scare him.

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

@kamari2038 thank you so much for asking! here's a rudimentary breakdown, partly because i have projects in mind i don't want to spoil and partly cause i haven't worked out all the details yet

disclaimer : i was not a percy jackson kid, nor a greek mythology kid. so there are a lot of inaccuracies

i first thought of this idea back in 2020-2021. there was some kind of debate team event i saw i saw in high school and the topic of birds came up, and i thought of :

you can ignore the text, it's no longer really relevant to the story nowadays. i was just brainstorming.

a few days later i see a picture of tom hiddleston with blonde hair

and then i abandon the idea for 2 straight years.

2 years later :

(i made a collage for an art swap, also strategically cutting out lore 👀)

in my head this was a story about "cupid" (eros, but he likes this new name) , god of love, and son of aphrodite and ares. he had many siblings ofc, the erotes etc.

i know that the gods are immortal and eternal, but in my story, aphrodite argues with the rest of the gods and she decides she can't be goddess of love anymore. she'll focus on other aspects of her godliness i guess, like beauty, lust, procreation, etc.

but SOMEONE needs to take on the role. Aphrodite accepts to keep her duties until her son is ready to do it by himself. Cupid is doing an internship i guess, or a test run, or is going through a trial period -- however you want to put it. He is trained, being put in charge of a palace and works with his brothers and sisters, in charge of innocent crushes, lust, heartbreak, jealousy, etc.

(important detail, this is probably accurate to actual greek mythology, but the main 12's kids are the first to be born BABIES. they were born adults. so this is their first time seeing and raising children! keep that in mind.)

During this trial run, Cupid makes an enormous mistake. an unforgivable one. he faces the trial of gods and should be sentenced to "death", but aphrodite defends him and his sentence is reduced to "temporary banishment until he learns his lesson". He's on close watch. If he does anything too out of line during banishment, it's over for him. They also rip his heart out for secret reasons.

He's banished to an island, completely on his own, and is tested regularly to see his..."progress"..? This island is floating in the heavens, so imagine the visuals cause i'm bad with environments and can't provide any right now 👁👁

this island is literally all nature/jungle, except for a house/mansion he lives in. and he's sometimes visited by siblings-- which are basically his only social interactions. in his very free time, he designs animals and birds to inhabit his island and keep him company - so the cupid swan and sunset sparrow are his designs! and there are many more animals he wanted to make. he is also very inspired by earth animals, obviously.

also, detail, one of his siblings brought him this broadcast tv kind of thing, so he gets to watch human tv! and even later real human interactions broadcasts!

throughout his story, cupid needs to find a way to get out of his banishment, get his heart back and save humans from his sibling's incompetence, and one particular sister's plans. 👀

i don't draw him, or any characters from his story, as much nowadays, although i know i should -- lately i've been having some doubts about the whole greek/roman mythology thing because it feels overdone with percy jackson, lore olympus, etc. I have ideas about how i'd represent many other characters from greek mythology in cool ways, and i like this story overall, but i'm thinking of making my own mythology/lore system to avoid regurgitating the same clichés over and over again. but i can't even get started with that because everything's already been done !

this is all i have so far, let me know if there's anything else about this story you'd like to know, or your opinions, or if you can help me create some new god mythology god lore 🙏🙏🙏

and let me know if you'd like other posts like this about my other ocs! i have a bunch

thank you again @kamari2038 for giving me the opportunity to spill about this! i've always wanted to share oc content but every time i posted anything on them or about them nobody would even see it. you don't know how happy i was to see your reply.

i'll reblog this post with miis of the cast, that i made on miitomo this past summer :)

[animehouse-moe]

Undead Girl Murder Farce Episode 9: Werewolves

Where to begin, where to begin indeed. I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. You want a series to crown as the king of Summer 2023? It's Undead Girl Murder Farce. It might not have the pedigree of other returning titles, it might not have the biggest studio ever behind it. But by god, if they aren't working tirelessly to provide one of the most outright creatively exciting mystery series I'm not sure what it is they might be doing.

Right away, we're met with black and white in a flashback. Standard fare, right? Well, you're wrong. There's incredibly important groundwork being laid here that works insanely well to set the tone and purpose of this episode.

It's not just black and white. There's red, and there's fire as well. Three pieces, three very important pieces that create the foundation for this episode.

The point of it, both in past, present, and arguably even the potential future is as follows. The black and white, alongside the imagery of religion that's pasted further into the episode is used as weaponry against werewolves. They use the monochromatic color scheme to highlight the thinking of the humans in that Werewolves are only capable of being the enemy of humanity. The fire represents the human's hatred for werewolves and the destructive nature of such a thing. The blood is a reminder that despite appearances, these creatures hurt in the same manner of humans. It's an intricate tapestry that focuses on both widening the rift between werewolf and human while bringing the gap between them closer and closer.

And within that lays another reference, at least I believe it to be one. That reference being the death of Frankenstein's Monster in the popularized 1931 movie. In that movie, the monster is stuck in a windmill that the humans outside light on fire, causing the monster to die. Here, while it may not be a windmill, the werewolf we follow finds a similar fate.

Now, what about this use of color in the present tense? Well, while Doctor Heinemann so graciously explains the grisly nature of the deaths of girls in his village, we're treated to that black and white color palette once more.

But it's more interesting than just being a copy of the past tense. Rather, the use of black and white differs here. Blood is not displayed in red, there's no fire used, and there's actually color given to the murdered girls prior to their death.

Weird, right?

Well that's because the purpose of the colors has changed. This isn't a hunt, but rather a stroke of revenge. Blood, blotted out to remain gray distances the prey from their predator, and rather than yellow or orange flames denoting a fiery hatred associated with these acts, we see bodies blackened and almost charred-looking instead. As if those flames had already been extinguished, leaving behind what viewers are treated to.

It's an incredibly strong sense of direction that implicitly ties these terrible acts to the young werewolf Jutte, subject to the heinous acts of the village people 8 years prior. But of course, it's more than that, as the latest victim's abduction tells a different story. But I'll talk more on that later. Let's rewind, shall we?

Got a little carried away with the impressive work here, but there's still plenty more peppered throughout the episode, so allow me to get started once more.

Tsugaru as a character makes so many of the expositional scenes work, but the staff also put quite a lot of effort into varied visuals and approaches to keep viewers engaged and interested.

Like this shift in art style as Aya explains an experience from her (distant) past.

Or this once more stunning visual used to explain the various transformations and forms of werewolves. Also, allow me to point out once more the color palette. This time, no blood, but a heavy focus on the monochromatic style of the open as well as that fiery background.

Anyways, here's doggy Tsugaru

Okay, back to it. A rather strong penchant and appeal to style that remains throughout many of these episodes is the concept of superimposition. Sometimes it's used quite often, and others not so much. I think this episode is a solid example of the former as we get treated to many scenes like this.

Even more interesting than superimposition however, is this oddly intentional blur that appears only a handful of times throughout the episode. The composition is largely and layouts of both scenes are very similar, so there's certainly an intentional reason behind the blur, but I don't have anything that immediately comes to mind.

This is a mystery series though, isn't it? Well, I'd love to talk the mystery, but I want to skip ahead to this church scene before diving head first into the rest of it. I'd show it, but I have a limited amount of pictures, but the way we open on the church is by showing the burning tower of the past before fading into the spire of the church in the present. It's a very scary way of uniting the humans under the strength of their religion in expulsing that which isn't similar, all the while justifying their actions.

The most important piece here though is Gustav, the father of the most recent missing girl. And what a sequence it is. It's something that I'm sure many can implicitly understand, but when faced with explaining you're helplessly left stumbling over your own words. I won't make a fool of myself, but rather make a more creative connection, "The eyes are the windows to the soul". Peel back that curtain, the façade that all operate under, and gaze into the truth that you may be unwilling to face.

Anyways, back to the mystery of Louise's abduction. Under a clear night sky, within the comfort of her own home, Louise was stolen away from her parents. Doesn't fit the MO, does it now? Making an appearance around others, leaving a trail of information behind, this one is decidedly different than the others. Arguably the most interesting piece being the fact that we're shown blood in its proper color. Despite the black and white nature of the recollection, and the visual consistency of the other deaths, we're given a clear and decisive outlier here.

So, let's lay out the details we've been given. Blood on the bed, but none from the bed to the window. A trail of paw prints from the chimney to the window, but none that lead to the bed, nor the damaged parts of Louise's room. Broken glass on the outside of the house, indicating it was shattered from the inside, and on the window that is unable to open, as well.

Lots of inconsistencies and issues, no? I think perhaps the most interesting though is the sounds from the flashback. We hear the sound of several glass-like objects shattering. We don't hear Louise's voice trail off as she's carried away either. And, after those sounds of something breaking, we still hear sounds coming from in the room. Now, I'm no detective by any means, but considering the "order" of the sounds, I believe it's safe to say that we didn't hear the window shatter during the break in/flashback.

Moving back into the realm of the actual detective, Aya discovers an odd inconsistency with the information laid in front of her. Tsugaru placed a hand on the floor to investigate the chimney through which it was presumed that the werewolf entered via, but after displaying it to Aya, it's shown that there's no dust or ash covering it.

So, she performs an experiment. Drop something small and in similar size to the werewolf down the chimney, and see what happens. To no surprise, a puff of ash engulfs the pair as they watch the fireplace.

But more important than the act itself is the residue that it leaves behind. Look at this image from before the test. That ledge to the fireplace is rather neat and clean, no sign of any ash or dust building up on it.

After that soot is spread by the falling of Tsugaru's pillow though, take a look at that ledge once more. That's right, it's dirty. So, the culprit (most likely) did not come through the chimney, but used the piled up soot to create footprints to make it appear as though they did.

Now, just for a few pieces of detail to add here and there. The famous author Goethe makes an appearance, most likely due to their middle name being Wolfgang. Not anything incredibly important, but a fun detail nonetheless.

More questionable than that however is the notion that Gustav's gun was previously stolen about a year ago, which is around the same time that the werewolf appeared in the village.

But I'll let that one stew, here's a super interesting visual to accompany Aya's explanation of the break in and abduction. Love how it gives a loose form to an idea being expressed by the character, rather than a very detailed and "accurate" example.

Alright, now I'm sure that just like me, many out there are dealing with a fried brain right about now, so I'll cut to the chase with the end of this episode. Rather than seeing Banquet disembark a train, we see two of the effective executioners for our lovely "insurance" company make their way towards the Forest of Fangs. What I found interesting here is that the characters will always travel in twos, and that they're presumably paired based upon their nationality, as this duo embodies the United States thanks to things like the Cowboy outfit.

So where do we stand at the end of this episode? The key to the werewolves is hidden behind the village chief's bet with Aya about finding the culprit of the child murders, and the "insurance" company is hot on their tail with Banquet nowhere to be found. Will we see a head to head prior to the discovery of the werewolves? Or will our various parties converge only once the village is uncovered? Personally, I can't say. What I can say though is that this episode, like all the others before it, is so full of life, creativity, and detail, that it nearly spoils the other series of the season. I've already watched this episode at least twice to create this post, and I already know I'll be going back once more before we return next week.

[quinloki]

Hi, Quinn!! I've been getting back into making One Piece OCs lately and always appreciate a chance to talk about them! 😊

Meet Shriek! The bat mink lookout of the Kid Pirates. I wanted to give the Kid Pirates a mink because they're the only ones of the Sabaody crew trio to not have a fluffy crewmate, but also she was inspired by what we learned in the Zou arc about how minks are capable of fighting and using Electro from birth. So Shriek is 5-7 years old and was raised by the Kid Pirates since they found her as a baby in some caverns in the South Blue.

1. My favorite thing about her is how she's this blend of a fun-loving, hyperactive, curious, sweet kid and a gleefully vicious little beast who literally drinks the blood of pirates and marines and rains down red lightning upon islands to cause wanton destruction. She's the friendliest of all the Kid Pirates and it's through her that more of their soft sides are shown, but she's still just as violent as they are at the end of the day. Maybe even more so in some ways, since she's so in touch with her animal instincts. And based on the stories I've heard from some of my friends and co-workers who are parents, children already plenty feral so combine that with a werebat and you have a recipe for chaos. 😆😆😆

2. Her worst traits are what you would expect from a child- impulsive, stubborn, easily loses focus and wanders off, prone to tantrums at the worst times (especially with Kid as a role model). Also, since she doesn't interact with other children very much, her social skills aren't the best. I mean, her go-to way of making new friends is to give them presents of bugs and bones and offer to commit acts of violence on their behalf.

3. I first came up with the concept for her in 2018 and only started writing headcanons and little interactions between her and other characters this month.

4. I don't ship her with anybody for obvious reasons. Although when Shriek grows up and becomes the captain of her own pirate crew, the Leather Wing Pirates, her first mate is also her girlfriend. She's a hyena mink who I'm still planning out.

5. Her favorite foods are all the bat favorites; blood, bugs, and bananas. Her least favorites are broccoli and peppermint (the former because what kid doesn't hate vegetables and the latter's a reference to how peppermint deters bats)

Oh a LITTLE OC \o/ Young'un, tiny tot, lil' tater - xD I love her!

A member of the Kid Pirates of all crews - and I love your reasoning for it too =3 I really think Kid is actually really good with kids, kind of surprisingly to everyone else. He strikes me as someone who'd be like "Of course they did some dumb shit, they're a kid."

He'd still be correcting things as he wanted, cause just cause you're a kid doesn't mean you can't learn or whatever, and he'd be very Kid about it. But I think he'd be surprisingly patient with kidlets.

He can't have that electricity messing up his stuff though, so yeah

I love this though - and the ART TOO \o/ Thank you for sharing!

[lotusprotocol]

dreamcatcher devlog: past 3 months (oops)

(screenshot from current wip level, out of orbit)

full devlog below the cut!

long time no see! really sorry for missing the past two months; i never ended up getting started and by then it was too late to post. i'll try my best not to let this happen again, though i can't make any promises.

anyways, there's been a lot in the past couple months! without further ado, here's everything(?) that's happened since the last devlog:

i started off in december by getting some of the core mechanics working, such as the camera, level transitions, etc. the visuals aren't completely done yet, but my main priority is getting the mechanics to actually work, and i'll make them look good later.

i did a lot of work on optimizing the performance and build size of my game, which i made a few posts about (big one about build size here)

i made another track for one of the levels, and i think i've been improving at music! here's the audio:

(i also tried making album art later in december but it didn't turn out good so i'll redo it at some point)

one of the most important things i did in december was get playtesters! i made applications open from the 15th to the 22nd, and chose 6 people who submitted. it was hard for me to leave people out though, but applications may be open again sometime in the future.

i set up a daily goals list to put 5 things on every day, and hopefully stay focused. admittedly, it's been a while since i used this list, and i lowkey forgot about it until i looked through my post history before making this devlog, but i think i'll get back into it this month.

i also set up a twitch channel! i'll be streaming over at https://www.twitch.tv/lotus_protocol if you want to check it out!

i was on break for the last week of december, so i was able to get a lot more done in that time. i also got a stylus, which is a really nice upgrade from drawing with my finger before, and did a lot of practice with it.

january didn't start off great, and i barely got anything done over the first couple weeks. i was eventually able to get back in the groove, but i had a sucky feeling during that time since this game's a big part of my life and my mood depends quite a bit on it (in a healthy way though, it's not out of control)

when i came back to working on the game, i polished some stuff up before pushing the first playtester build! i got some valuable advice, and it went pretty good.

i wrote down the outline for the entire story! there's still some wiggle room if i want to go back and change anything, but it's nice to have it down instead of only in my head, and i've wrote the dialogue for a few scenes already.

i've been improving my art a considerable amount over january and february! i've gotten a lot more confident in my art as well, which motivates me more to make it!

(pencil sketch from mid february; there's quite a few mistakes here and there but i still really like it)

i continued working on one of the levels, which was what i did for the rest of the month. not much i can say here, but it's been shaping up pretty good so far!

to be honest, february wasn't a good month for development. i had a lack of motivation and a lot of work to do for other things in my life, and there was barely anything new from last month.

the main thing i did in february was work on the tas tools for the game more, which are coming along nicely. i've been having an issue with consistency and don't know exactly what's causing it, but i'll figure it out eventually.

(unrelated to dreamcatcher but) during february, i took some time to make a side project i had been wanting to do for a long time: an upgraded level editor for red ball, a flash game that i enjoy. there's still plenty of work to do on it, but so far it's pretty nice, and it's not my main focus right now.

(screenshot of the tool, you can find it here it you're interested)

i've also been delaying the next playtester build for a long time, and it was originally supposed to come out at the start of last month; if there's any playtesters reading this, sorry again! i'll hopefully have it done this month.

i finished off february by making some more music! here's a wip from a few days ago:

and that's it for the past 3 months! with all that being said, here's what i plan on doing next month:

get the current wip level done, and hopefully do another full one

finish all story scenes for the demo

push at least two new playtester builds

do some story art if i have time

enjoy the process :]

that's all for this devlog, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading! right now, i'm trying to get the demo out by august this year, so expect to see something done by then. also feel free to join the discord server, where you can get more regular updates, ask me questions, or chat with the community! anyways, signing off now, have a great day!

[powertripblog]

Lore Dump: The Lampesh Mercenary Co-op

I've been showing off random pieces of backgrounds and environmental art for Powertrip for a while now, but I haven't really talked about any of the writing for the story. Since I've been head down in Scrivener writing up the story and world for Powertrip I haven't touched a drawing in a few days now. So I don't have anything to show sadly, but I can talk about something that I have written.

For today, I want to focus on one of the major antagonistic factions that will be appearing in the comic. The Lampesh Mercenary Co-op (it is not actually a co-op).

The Lampesh Mercenary Co-op, often abbreviated as the LMC is a freelance mercenary company that is mainly active in the southern half of the planet Ceres. For a fee they are willing to do just about anything for their clients. This can range from protection, extortion, robbery, sabotage, and even all the way up to assassination if the price is right. The LMC has become a massive thorn in the sides of the populace, as they are both decently skilled and well-armed enough to bully the population with almost total impunity. While communities do often have Watchmen to stand guard over them, the LMC has only seen a small amount of direct pushback towards their operations.

Not helping matters is the attitude of the mercenaries within the co-op. Ceres is a world with very socialist policies. Universal Basic Income, Guaranteed housing, Food Banks to help those who still don't quite have enough to put a meal on the table. There isn't any real reason to go into crime in this world, and as a result those that do tend to be very mean people. The larger part of the LMC is made up of narcissistic, greedy, cruel jerks who are only interested in their own personal gain at the expense of others. This attitude is not only reflected in the grunts at the bottom of the ladder, but goes all the way up to the boss of the whole operation.

The LMC was founded by two brothers, Adam and Barry Lampesh. Adam is the actual boss of the co-op, but doesn't really do a whole lot. He's become lazy over the decade that the LMC has operated and sees little issue with sitting around in his ill-gotten gains all day, with only sending out the occasional order. Adam can do work if he feels the need to, but no one has given the LMC a real challenge in years. Barry on the other hand, gets to deal with the brunt of the actual work. Both in terms of paperwork, and also going out on field missions. The lopsided arrangement and lack of respect and control is less than ideal for him, and Barry sometimes starts to think on what it would be like if he was in charge instead.

Next to talk about is aesthetics. The LMC has a very utilitarian attitude towards their look and equipment. Basically if they don't need it, they don't buy it. As a result their bases are minimalistic, with cheap construction and furniture. Their actual equipment is of much higher quality, but the mercenaries are only ever equipped with the items they will need for their current mission.

Now, to zoom out and talk about my thoughts behind the creation of the Lampesh Mercenary Co-op. The most obvious idea is to simply come up with an antagonistic faction that can be encountered multiple times. As a mercenary group, they tend to be all over the place which is important since the protagonist of Powertrip will also be frequently traveling. This means that I can have them act as a recurring presence throughout the events of the story. I don't plan on them being the only villains, or even the most important ones, but they will continue to be a grindstone that has to be dealt with during the early chapters of Powertrip. I also have some more interesting stuff planned with some of the individual characters, but that is very much spoiler content. I've already said more than I normally would like cause I tend to be very closed-mouthed with my stories.

I think that's about all I've got for this lore dump currently. I plan on doing a couple more of these since this was fun to write. If you bothered reading to this point, hopefully there was something interesting here for you.

[jupiter-math]

So I don't want to invalidate your point here. This may very well be a problem at some universities. In my experience teaching for a university, I have never been expected to adhere to any sort of grade distribution. The only reason anyone would ever be flagged would be if au well-above average number of student *failed*. I saw different problems at my university:

1. Class size- this is the biggest issue across K-12 AND university. Class sizes are simply too big for teachers to get to know every individual. If you know a student very well, it's very easy to tell when something is written in their voice or not. In my opinion, oral exams are much more dynamic and better for assessing where a student is, (Ex. Completely lost? Just need one little piece to get started?) but class sizes render them impractical if not impossible. It's harder to give extra support to students who need it. It's harder to extend activities for students who are ahead. You have to cater to the average student, which means a good chunk of your students will end up confused or bored.

2. Education as "career preparedness"- I can mostly speak to this from a math perspective, but we need to stop emphasizing career readiness as the main reason to go to college. Unfortunately, since college is so expensive (see my last paragraph), students see it as an investment in a career rather than as an opportunity to grow as a person. Why take the time to learn math, art, history, or literature if you aren't going to use it in your job? Of course, students want skills they see as "valuable," and if they don't see the economic value of a skill, they don't care very much. When students *want* to learn, they rarely cheat. Solutions here might include a radical overhaul of what knowledge is "necessary" in K-12. For example, in my opinion, math is far too focused on calculus track, but it absolutely does not need to be. Instead, we could try to offer a broader range of subjects based on student's interests.

3. Demonization of Failure- this is social, but also very tangible. F's look very very bad on transcripts, so schools are pressured to push students through to the next class even when they're not ready. In K-12, this is either to maintain state standards and funding, or to make sure students are "college ready" (even though the result is the opposite). In college, this is often to make sure your students aren't angry customers. I've felt pressured to pass students because they "did they work" even though I knew *for a fact* they did not know the material they needed. When you're grading, a students funding might be dependent on those grades. So you have to pass them

4. Overwork- Many students aren't just full time students. They can't focus on their education and take the time they actually need. They're burnt out. Taking an extra semester means they're out thousands of dollars. If they already feel their class isn't going to apply directly to a career, why shouldn't they just cheat?

The *cause* of all these issues is the way society views college (and increasingly K-12) as a commodity to be purchased rather than a public good. This leads to universities run like businesses, charging as much as possible while cutting every corner they can. It's the reason people go into debt for college while teachers are also overworked and underfunded. Nobody wins but the investors.

(taken from a post about AI)

speaking as someone who has had to grade virtually every kind of undergraduate assignment you can think of for the past six years (essays, labs, multiple choice tests, oral presentations, class participation, quizzes, field work assignments, etc), it is wild how out-of-touch-with-reality people’s perceptions of university grading schemes are. they are a mass standardised measurement used to prove the legitimacy of your degree, not how much you’ve learned. Those things aren’t completely unrelated to one another of course, but they are very different targets to meet. It is standard practice for professors to have a very clear idea of what the grade distribution for their classes are before each semester begins, and tenure-track assessments (at least some of the ones I’ve seen) are partially judged on a professors classes’ grade distributions - handing out too many A’s is considered a bad thing because it inflates student GPAs relative to other departments, faculties, and universities, and makes classes “too easy,” ie, reduces the legitimate of the degree they earn. I have been instructed many times by professors to grade easier or harder throughout the term to meet those target averages, because those targets are the expected distribution of grades in a standardised educational setting. It is standard practice for teaching assistants to report their grade averages to one another to make sure grade distributions are consistent. there’s a reason profs sometimes curve grades if the class tanks an assignment or test, and it’s generally not because they’re being nice!

this is why AI and chatgpt so quickly expanded into academia - it’s not because this new generation is the laziest, stupidest, most illiterate batch of teenagers the world has ever seen (what an original observation you’ve made there!), it’s because education has a mass standard data format that is very easily replicable by programs trained on, yanno, large volumes of data. And sure the essays generated by chatgpt are vacuous, uncompelling, and full of factual errors, but again, speaking as someone who has graded thousands of essays written by undergrads, that’s not exactly a new phenomenon lol

I think if you want to be productively angry at ChatGPT/AI usage in academia (I saw a recent post complaining that people were using it to write emails of all things, as if emails are some sacred form of communication), your anger needs to be directed at how easily automated many undergraduate assignments are. Or maybe your professors calculating in advance that the class average will be 72% is the single best way to run a university! Who knows. But part of the emotional stakes in this that I think are hard for people to admit to, much less let go of, is that AI reveals how rote, meaningless, and silly a lot of university education is - you are not a special little genius who is better than everyone else for having a Bachelor’s degree, you have succeeded in moving through standardised post-secondary education. This is part of the reason why disabled people are systematically barred from education, because disability accommodations require a break from this standardised format, and that means disabled people are framed as lazy cheaters who “get more time and help than everyone else.” If an AI can spit out a C+ undergraduate essay, that of course threatens your sense of superiority, and we can’t have that, can we?

[thehumanexperience8b]

February 1st, 2025: I Dropped Out Of College.

It's been three days since my insanity spiral and I just wanted to say.. I'm sorry. I don't know WHAT is going on?! I've been flipping and flopping and I'm anxious because I'm happy right now, but I wonder when I'm going to come down. The day after the last post was my first day of college back from winter break. It was one of the worst days I've had for a long while. I go to my first class nervous, because it's college level algebra, and last semester I dropped out of my algebra class after three days! This time I felt it was different. I had two coffees for focus and everything was going well.. until she started talking about what we'll be learning and the homework. The homework was 39 questions, and she said if we already know the material it'll be quick, but if we don't know it and have to revise? Ten to TWENTY minutes PER question. I don't know if I heard wrong, but when she said that I practically shut down. I lost it. I still had a smidgen of hope.. because we took a bit of a practice session and I got the first two questions right, but I couldn't get passed the third. After class I went down to the guidance office and asked about my options. I was told that I was already at the lowest algebra if I want it to count as a credit, if I wanted to do something else I would need to take elementary algebra as a prerequisite but it will not count. I decided if I want to actually be happy, I can't pursue environmental science, or even studies. I wanted to learn art. I'm good at art, yes! I am good at art. Everyone knows me for my creative expression. I still have to take math. They tell me to go check out the tutoring service, but when I do... the woman asks me why I feel I need to be tutored. I couldn't explain why, just that I had bad memory and I know the math... I just can't reach it. She didn't seem to understand. I just felt bad. I waited outside for the next hour for my next class which was Spanish. I joked on Discord that I would rather join the military than do another math class. That was an exaggeration, but there's always seriousness behind what I say. Spanish class was worse than math. It happened so fast.. I couldn't understand, I couldn't focus. I started crying. But he didn't notice the tears streaming down my face. I wonder if he would have asked if I was okay, I might not have dropped out. I felt so alone amongst those people. Everyone was smart, but I was not. I never made friends in college, only acquaintances. It was only a room of students, and me, a blurry face, never fully present. I thought about what would happen if I didn't go to college many times before and after I graduated high school. It was sort of a MANIC decision for lack of a better term, but it also wasn't. I know what's best for me. And I've always been told I need to go to college to have a good life, to get a good job, which means if I don't go to college I'll have a bad life. But that's not true! America is so fucked right now it's "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I've been letting that anger build for so long. I'm scared now. I don't have the stability anymore that school gave me: the hope that I will be successful and make a difference in the world. But I realized that I don't need to be a successful, famous scientist to make a difference. I already make a difference a lot of the time. I take a lot of pride in the fact that I donate a lot of money to causes I believe in, and if I have a job that makes me happy, I'll be way more conscious about spending that money for good, rather than assuming my job is enough. I'm always trying, I'll never stop even though it hurts sometimes. It hurts a lot actually. "Sometimes even to live is an act of courage." -Seneca