#-- disgustingly positive so I am. A lot. But it's HARD and sometimes I just wanna admit that no actually it DOESN'T feel like everything --

[lemonnbug]

Am I allowed to be negative on here about stuff for a minute? Pretty please?

I don't really think that things are gonna change for the better/ get better for me at this point tbh

[chrisevansgoodgirl]

hey there, so i have a question. who would you, as a scorpio, date from chris’ characters? i am a scorp and i loveeee Andy so so much, and I know he would be an amazing daddy to me, I know he would take care of me and dote on me, but…based on my real life experience, I think I could only imagine myself dating Ransom tbh. The toxicity? The meanness? I feel like he wouldn’t put up with my bullshit. I mean he would, but not in the way “now i’m offended and i’m gonna go cry bye”. He would just put me in my place and omg yeeesssss just fuck the attitude outta me. On the other hand, would he cheat? That I wouldn’t tolerate. Like the whole relationship would be a nasty sex, throwing insults at each other and at our weakest moments we would be disgustingly clingy and sappy. (Also, bonus question: what sign do you think Andy is? 👀 I wanna know our compatibility)

Sorry for taking so long, I was really thinking about it lol.

It is hard to just pick one and stick with it. When I’m in my dark, angsty moods, I fucking want Ransom. I think he can be so sweet if he really wanted and I think the way that he shows his version of love would be so unique and fun. The issue is, who would stop the argument? I think Ransom is very sensitive. Too sensitive. If you hurt him a little, he’s going to try to one up you. And scorpios are all about revenge (lol guilty) and it’s just never going to get resolved.

But then I know I want Andy like most of the time. I love him, I think he’s a beautiful person who just wants to help and make things better. That’s why he became a lawyer. And I can’t get over the fact that he loves his son so much and his wife and how badly he just wants a good, happy family. Andy would definitely love me the way that I should be loved, the way that would keep me long term happy. And I LOVE that he truly believed Jacob was innocent. I feel like that’s the loyalty that Scorpios crave. Bc idk about you, but I know people. I can read them pretty fast and I know pretty early on if something is well within their behavior. You know what I mean? It’s just about that unshakable trust that not many people have, but Andy does! he doesn’t trust many people, but the ones he does trust, he 1000000% trusts them.

But at the same time, I can’t pretend that he’s not a little closed off! That would be hard for me. That would start to weigh on me and that makes me feel like I would love Steve! He’s a cancer (and I’m currently experiencing a real life cancer obsession 🙄 and honestly, I love how emotional he can be!) so with Steve, there would be SO MUCH and I know he can get consumed by things, I know he can get busy, but when he’s present, I know he would be the most loving person to ever exist.

Sexually, this might sound weird but I don’t think Ransom would always be perfect. Hear me out, I head canon Ransom as a Libra. Can they be good? Yes. Sexually, are they going to change to match your moods? Not unless you make them super mad. The problem with Ransom would be that sometimes he would be into his own emotions so much that he just wouldn’t care what’s going on with you or yours.

Andrew, on the other hand, would be so accommodating. And it’s just the fact that he has such a messy job. Like he constantly puts people in their place and like yeah, if Ransom yelled at me, I would be so fucking down, but like Andy wouldn’t need to yell at me. Like Ransom has to work for my respect, Andy just has it. If I was in a mood, I would push Ransom. I would never push Andy without his permission lol. And Steve, well, we know that that’s going to be a little different. I don’t head canon him as someone who isn’t into rough sex—like, he comes from the generation of war PTSD being ignored. Y’all wanna tell me they don’t have unhelpful coping methods? Steve is definitely an angry sex kinda person, but then he can be the softest bitch to ever exist.

Let’s get into the smaller characters. Dating? Not sure. But I would be down to be Freezy’s phone slut. Dead ass, he calls and I’m there. And I’d prob get super attached and he wouldn’t give me any reason to, but I’d still do it. Any day, any time. And I would talk about other guys to get on his nerves even though there are definitely no other guys.

Frank is an interesting one. He’s busy but when Mary is older, when life is a little more settled, I think he would be perfect. It might be irritating to a Scorpio how slow he is to trust and let them into his life, but idk I feel like he could definitely grow into a really great partner. He looks like he craves the same things Andy does—a perfect family.

So! Andy’s sign. I’m torn between two. The obvious part of me wants to say a Capricorn. His work ethic, his determination, his need for control. At the very least, a few Caps are in his chart. But I could also hear the case for him being a Virgo. Something about his modest vibes, his reserved nature, how quiet he is, but also still, how he handles himself at work. I would love to hear what you think, too! Are there any other signs you think would work?

I’ll also tell you which ones I definitely know he’s just not! Not an Aries—if I talk shit about Aries a lot, I do apologize. I didn’t have great experiences with them but currently, I have two friends. That’s it. They are both Aries lol. So, my opinion of them has been corrected BUT Andy has enviable control of his emotions. His anger, specifically. Sure. He had his moments, but he also tested positive for that gene. He wouldn’t be able to control himself if he was an Aries. I don’t think he’s a fire sign at all. He’s too controlled.

And as much as I love Tauruses and as compatible as I am with them, deep down, I just know he’s not a Taurus. There’s something missing that I don’t necessarily think he’s as earthy as they usually are.

And listen, as much as I don’t like them (except Daddy!), I am willing to admit, he could be a Gemini. Laurie felt like he didn’t listen sometimes, def a Gemini thing. And I do feel like sometimes there were two different versions of Andy, not wholly different, but just sometimes he was a little unpredictable.

Definitely not a libra or cancer. I don’t know a lot about Pisces. I don’t think he’s weird enough to be an Aquarius lol, but I could be wrong about that. So yeah, I’m leaning toward Cap or Virgo.

[liemonyellow]

brother, i will hear you call

read on ao3

Summary: Roman's not having a great time. Remus sympathizes.

Warnings: Light swearing

This is for @nadiestar / @mimssides

Remus knocked lightly on the door separating his room from Roman’s.

“Ro? You okay?”

He heard something muffled, but nothing more. He knocked again.

“Roman, can you unlock the door?”

Nothing.

“Please?”

Remus heard the click of the lock unlatching. He twisted the knob and slowly, oh, so slowly, pushed the door open and took a few steps inside.

Roman’s room was a wreck. Not as much as Remus’s, but still a lot less orderly and pristine than he usually kept it. Papers were strewn about every which way, crumpled and crushed and shredded to pieces, pens and pencils and markers were scattered across the floor like confetti, paints and inks splattered over everything in sight. Remus would have been impressed, if he wasn’t so worried.

Roman was the “good twin”, or so he insisted. Remus didn’t really care who was what as long as shit got done and he was free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Truth be told, he thought Roman could use a little more freedom and chaos in his life. But seeing this? Seeing all of his brother’s hard work, his passion and drive, his imagination and creativity, destroyed by his own two hands? Roman didn’t do this.

Remus finally looked at Roman, or at least, Roman’s huddled form curled up under a pile of blankets in the middle of his bed. Remus let out a sympathetic sigh.

“That bad, huh?”

The blanket pile moved, curling in tighter and letting out a sniffle. Remus plodded over to the bed and sat on the edge, feeling it sink down a little. He stared at Roman’s obscured form, then flopped over onto his back.

Things were quiet for a minute. Then Remus heard movement, and turned to see Roman’s face peeking out, red-eyed and tear-stained, hair mussed and sticking up in places.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Roman sighed, pulling his blanket closer. “It’s stupid.”

“A lot of shit is stupid. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

Roman was quiet. Then he said, barely audible, “I just...”

Remus pushed himself onto his side to face him, propping himself up with his hand.

“I just feel like nothing I do is worth the effort. That no matter how hard I try or how many times, I’m doomed to fail.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Roman gave him an incredulous look. “What’s- what’s wrong with it? I don’t want to fail! I don’t want to-” He slumped over again, pulling the blanket back over his head. “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

"Who's disappointed?"

Roman looked away, eyes filling up with more tears. "Everyone."

Remus waited, only slightly raising a doubtful eyebrow.

"It's true! Nothing I do is good enough! Not for Logan, not for Patton, not even Virgil!" Roman sniffed. "Thomas deserves better."

"Nah, I don't buy it."

Roman blinked at him.

"Has anyone told you they hate your work?"

Roman shook his head.

"Then why would you assume they do?"

"Because it's not good enough."

"Yeah, so?"

"Wha- You- I-!" Roman curled up tighter. "You don't understand," he says, muffled by the fabric.

"Really? I don't understand? Me, Remus, the Duke, Dark Creativity and Intrusive Thoughts? Buddy, my whole existence wasn't good enough for Thomas."

Roman had the decency to look a little ashamed at that. But shaming his upset brother wasn't what Remus meant to do. He sighed and tried again.

"Look, Bro, I am well aware that my ideas might never win any prizes, but I still fucking have them. It's the act, see? I have an idea, and I can't stop thinking about it until I get it out of my head. And yeah, sometimes it's a fuckin' shitty idea but it's still mine. And sometimes making the shitty thing gives me more, less-shitty ideas, or it turns out better than I thought it would, or people might actually like it!" Remus sighed. "And then sometimes it's just a shit idea, with a shit execution, and you feel like shit for ever thinking you could do anything worthwhile."

Roman was staring sadly at him, his face a little warped from the tears collecting in Remus's own eyes. He tried to blink them away unsuccessfully.

"Like, I get it, okay? Sometimes you hate everything you make, and you just don't wanna do anything anymore because everything sucks."

Roman had loosened his grip on his blankets, which had fallen halfway down his shoulders and started pooling around him on the bed.

"My point is, shit sucks all the time. So what're you gonna do about it? Sit around and mope, sure, valid, cry your heart out. But at some point you have to do something. Get the feelings out, where they can’t keep taunting you. Even if you have to do it by breaking shit," Remus said as he gestured to the rest of the room. “Or like, if you wanted to talk, or vent, or scream at someone... I can take it, y’know. I’m not fragile or anything."

His brother was staring at him, eyes wide, brow creased, mouth hanging open. Remus wasn’t sure how to read that.

“I mean, it’s up to you, but I’m here for you or whatever. Just-”

Roman launched himself from his position to wrap his arms around his brother in a crushing embrace. Remus froze, unsure how to respond, then hugged his brother back, squeezing just as tightly.

"Thank you," Roman whispered. Remus rubbed his back and buried his face into his brother's shoulder, sniffling as he pretended not to cry.

"I know I'm not the best at this comforting shit. But it kinda helps to know you're not alone, I guess? We might not get along all the time but we're still in this together. Even if I am the 'evil twin'."

They stayed like that for a while, hugging each other, until Roman let go. He didn't rush to put distance between them, content to sit beside his brother, one hand settled on the Duke's shoulder.

"You're not evil, Ree."

Remus rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Bitch, if I ever hear you say that again, I'm disowning you and no one will ever find your body."

"That's not what 'disown' means."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm still gonna do it."

Roman gave a soft laugh. Remus smiled.

"By the way, I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating?"

Roman sighed heavily. "I suppose all this was a bit dramatic."

Remus slipped off the bed and picked up a couple of pens and markers, making a show of examining them before snapping them back onto the desk and picking up more, saying, "No shit, but seriously, it looks great! Nice balance of color, good spread of clutter; it really takes practice to make a good mess."

"You're a mess." Roman finally joined him, picking up scraps of paper on the floor near the bed.

"At least I'm a good-looking mess. Unlike someone I know."

"You take that back!" Remus ducked to avoid the newly-restored sketchbook Roman threw at him.

They continued like that, bickering as they cleaned, until the room was, well, not spotless, but much less of an artistic war zone.

Roman took a deep breath, as if the act of clearing up his room had also purified the air. He seemed lighter, and a little bit more himself. He gave Remus a disgustingly grateful look.

"Hey. Thanks, Ree."

"Gratitude? Gross. Hey, you wanna go fight the Dragon Witch again?"

"Gladly."

[thiamraebar-blog]

Unpopular Opinion?

Okay, so I just stared 13 Reasons S3.

I’ve rewatched S1/S2 in the passed week or so as well and I really have to say how conflicted they have me with Bryce Walker’s character. I’m still trying to figure him out completely.

Do not get me wrong. I am NOT condoning or justifying ANY of his actions. But I find the show/writers actually did a fairly good job on making his character. What really annoys me in a lot of shows is that the antagonist is bad just ‘because’...or they don’t touch on how they became that way. And I think that’s why I find antagonists so interesting, is because they weren’t born that way, somewhere along the line they learned the behaviour or it came from some trauma or some neglect, you know? ANd I wanna see if Bryce is this way for the reasons I suspect, yeah?

In S2, there was a flashback of Bryce Walker as a child, stepping up and taking care of the new kid who didn’t have a lunch, who wore the same clothes everyday, etc...He took care of Justin, and I do not believe that ALL of it was for power and control. Bryce acted horribly, he treated girls cruely and disgustingly and even found their uncomfortability erotic. If you look at the things that they’ve showed (I’m not too far in S3, but even in S2) - Every male in his family does the same. He’s grown up and learned how to treat women, he’s seen and was taught that women were just loyal little accessories that could be thrown around and fucked and it was okay as long as they stayed loyal. He grew up never hearing the word ‘No’ and when he was told no he acted out, like a child and took what he wanted anyway.

It’s incredibly hard to unlearn behaviour that’s been imbedded with you since you were a child. I definitely believe that to some extent, Bryce Walker underwent some neglect and trauma in his life and learned from his father and other powerful male influences in his life how to act. It’s funny how their are moments where he’s actually genuine with some people, and in a scene I just saw he even admitted he wanted to get help and wanted to change and I think that for his character, it was at the very least a step in the right direction. It will not undo the pain and trauma he inflicted on other girls, no. He will never be able to go back and redo it all again. But he wants to change and I at least respect the fact that he’s acknowledging it, that something in him is broken and needs to be fixed.

I’m definitely one for character development, I love watching people start one way and have circumstances in their life actually affect them, how they act, how they think, what they do next. I saw it in Justin and I AM HERE FOR HIM, like DAMN. But if you read this and take this as me ‘defendin Bryce’, no, I’m not. What he did is impossible to get over, but I also believe he’s very sick, and even to some extent addicted to his own behaviour, to the feeling of being in power or whatever his character gets out of dominating and raping and beating people. In a way I look at him and see the same kind of thing in an alcoholic?? One very important thing to remember is that, character development is not always good and it’s not always bad and sometimes it’s a messy comnination of both. Just think of how you see people in the real world, I know I change on a month to month basis and if I was to meet who I was last year I don’t even think I’d recognize them. SO regardless of if Bryce’s development is good or bad, I’m intrigued.

I could get more into this and maybe when I’m done this season I’ll have different feelings on the subject, I’ll probably come back to this, but I’m very interested in who his character is right now and I have to give Justin Prentice (is that his last name?) MAD props for tackling this character. I just graduated school from an acting program and I’ve been in the position where you’re playing a character who’s a COMPLETE 180 from who you are, we’ve even spoken to experienced actors who have played antagonistic roles where they have absolutely no morals as the character and the actor has admitted that they’re still really messed up about it. So to Justin, bravo.

With that, I shall continue watching!

BUT. Ani can get fucking bent, I don’t like her at all.

[hookedonseavey]

“Don’t go.”

summary: daniel came back from tour the night before, and his girlfriend should really be getting to school, but he’s testing her resolve. disgustingly fluffy, y’all.

word count: 1.2k

warnings: none. like one swear word. does that even merit a warning on this site, though?

a/n: this one is based on three different requests lol. three birds, one stone, y’know? I had two different requests from anons about daniel not letting you out of bed (“Daniel refusing to let you out of bed in the morning and once you finally get out of bed you are sitting on the floor doing your makeup in front of the mirror and Daniel comes and lays his head in your lap and falls back asleep” + “Can you write a Daniel or Jack imagine where he comes home from tour and he’s being super clingy towards Y/N and all he wants to do is cuddle and Y/N goes to collage/job and he doesn’t want her to go?”), and another one from the prompt list that fit in well with this. this one was super fun to write, so hopefully you guys enjoying reading just as much!

prompt: “Don’t give me that puppy dog face.  How am I supposed to say no to that?”

The clang of the alarm on my phone dragged me from the depths of sleep for probably sixth time that morning, and I sighed heavily as I rolled over to put it on snooze yet again.

Daniel groaned from behind me and rolled towards me, letting his arm drop heavily across my waist. "Just shut it off, babe," he slurred. "We're both so tired, just stay home."

I groaned. "I wish I could," I said sleepily, letting my eyes drift shut as Daniel's hand slipped under my shirt to drag his fingertips along my stomach, raising goosebumps on the skin. "But I have to go to school, I have a presentation today."

"I've missed you so much, babe, can't you do the presentation another day?" he mumbled against my skin, lips brushing the back of my neck and sending a shiver through me. I wriggled under his arm and turned over to face him, bringing a hand up to his cheek and kissing him softly.

"I've missed you, too, baby boy. So much. But I have to go in today, I don't have a choice." Daniel had come home from tour around 6 pm last night wide awake with jet lag. Because of this, neither of us got to sleep until around 3 in the morning, so my 7 am alarm was a very unwelcome interruption.

"No," he said, his eyes still closed but the hint of a smirk evident in the corner of his mouth. "You're staying in bed with me." He tightened the arm encircling my waist so we were plastered together, front to front.

"Daniel," I whined, half-heartedly trying to push away from him. "Let gooooo."

"Never," he murmured, wrapping his other arm around my back and pulling me impossibly closer, burying his face in my neck. A breathless sigh escaped my lips as I let my eyes fall shut again. This was my heaven, wrapped up safe and warm in his arms after missing him every single night for months. I felt the tendrils of sleep start to curl around me, threatening to pull me back under, when my alarm went off again. Daniel released me so I could make the blaring noise stop, and this time I actually looked at the time before putting my phone back on the nightstand: I had less than an hour to get to school and I wasn't even dressed yet. I groaned again in annoyance and started to lift my tired body out of bed. Daniel grabbed my arm before my feet touched the floor, and with more strength than someone who was supposedly half-asleep, he yanked me back into bed and into his arms. "Don't go."

"Dani, c'mon, I'm gonna be late…"

"Sucks for you." He still had his eyes closed with his head resting on my shoulder.

"Seriously, babe, I have to go," I said, craning my neck to look down at him and reaching under the covers to poke him sharply in the ribs. He yelped, his eyes popping open in surprise.

"Ouch - hey!" While his guard was down, I was able to squirm out of his grasp and roll off the bed, somehow managing to land on my feet and walk over to our walk-in closet with some of my dignity still intact while Daniel continued to protest loudly. As I was walking away, Daniel leaned across the mattress and lazily propped himself up on his elbow. "Baby, no, come back," he said pitifully, his voice still husky with sleep as he reached out after me. My heart threatened to break at his longing tone.

"When I get back from classes this afternoon we can cuddle…" I said while hurriedly shedding my pajamas and putting on underwear, shoving my legs into a pair of jeans.

"You realize we have four months of cuddling to make up for, right?" he said. I pulled one of Dani's sweaters over my head and walked back out into the bedroom to see him sprawled out diagonally across our bed with his head towards the foot of the mattress. "And, y'know… lots of other catching up to do…" he trailed off suggestively, bringing my thoughts back to the night before. Okay, so maybe jet lag wasn't the only thing that kept us up late... I tried to ignore the slow burn in the pit of my stomach that made itself apparent at the thought of how he'd taken care of me last night. He looked up at me pleadingly with those big blue eyes, still a little puffy from sleep and looking absolutely angelic. I stood at the foot of the bed and shifted my weight, putting a hand on my hip. This man was unbelievable.

"C'mon, Dani, don't give me that puppy dog face. How am I supposed to say no to that?"

"You're not supposed to," he said, blinking up at me innocently. My resolve started to crumble, but a glance at the clock set me back into motion. I walked over to the ensuite bathroom so I could put on my makeup.

"I’m going to school, Daniel," I said over my shoulder.

"Nooooo," he whined. I heard him roll over in the bed again. "Please, babe, at least let me look at you a little longer." I huffed indignantly, grabbing my makeup bag off the bathroom counter and taking it out into the bedroom.

"You're lucky I love you," I said, lowering myself to the ground to sit in front of the full length mirror on Daniel's side of the bed and setting my makeup bag on the floor next to me.

"Damn right I am," he said, making me chuckle. I was putting on eyeshadow when I heard a thud on the floor behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Daniel on his hands and knees, hair sticking up in every direction as he crawled towards me across the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked, eyeshadow brush poised in midair. I watched as he silently crawled up next to me and lowered his head onto my lap.

"I just wanna be close to you for a little longer before you leave," he said lowly, his eyes falling shut again as he nestled into his position. My heart squeezed in my chest at the simplicity and sincerity of his explanation. Sometimes I forgot that being apart was just as hard for him as it was for me; even though he was busy with the boys, he still ached like I did every night to be held. Looking down at him nearly asleep in my lap, I lost all willpower and put my makeup brush back in its bag. Screw it, I’ll just tell prof I was sick or something.

"Hey, Dani…" I coaxed gently, rubbing my hand back and forth over his shoulder. He stirred a little and hummed quietly to let me know he was listening. "I'm gonna stay with you today."

He smiled smugly, his eyes remaining closed. "Good."

"You wanna go back to bed?"

"No, here's good." I rolled my eyes and dragged my fingers through his messy hair.

"You're a giant baby," I teased.

"But I'm your baby.”

"And I'm yours."

thank you so much for reading! and thank you to the anons for the requests, these were so stinking cute and fun to play with. much love 💖

[artificialqueens]

Never Too Old Chapter 11 (Biadore) - China

AN: Soooo once again, I want to apologize for being redundant and all. But I tried my best with this chapter. I hope you guys like it.

December 25, 2016 9:32 AM

“Merry Christmas, you cunt. Thanks for ignoring my messages.” Aaron seemed a bit annoyed, but he couldn’t get mad at Roy because it was Christmas. Roy chuckled at him and held the phone closer to his ear.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Aaron.” He said trying not to laugh. “I’m sorry I didn’t reply. Things got busy here.” Roy was outside the house since he didn’t want to disturb anyone who was still sleeping, Danny was one was of them and Shane decided to help out Bonnie with cooking.

“Well anyway, what do you think I should do?”

“About Justin?” Roy immediately felt stupid after asking that question. He’s starting to think he’s been slowly getting dumber as the days go by.

“Of course about Justin, dumbass.” Aaron was trying not to sass Roy, but he couldn’t help it. Roy could tell he was troubled through his voice. “I haven’t told him yet.”

Roy hummed for a bit, he was trying to remember their situation since his mind has been filled with Danny for the past few days and the memory of Danny’s naked body under him when they retired to their room last night. “Okay let me get this straight—“

“You’re not.” Aaron interrupted.

“You’re not as well, asshole.” Roy shot back at him. “You have feelings for Justin again and you don’t know if you should tell him about it?”

“Basically, yeah.” Aaron said flatly, he gave out a deep sigh after. “The thing is, I don’t know if getting back together is a good thing. I mean, is it too soon?”

Roy hummed again, he turned around and saw Danny enter the backyard and sat down behind him, his eyes were still heavy and his hair was messy. Roy leaned in and gave him a small peck and mouthed to him that he was on the phone with Aaron.

“I assume Danny is awake since I heard lips disgustingly touch each other.” Aaron said. Roy scoffed and laughed at him.

“Yes, that’s Danny. He just woke up.” He said, while smiling at his partner, he turned his back on Danny and went back to his friend on the phone. “Aaron, why don’t you just tell Justin? And if you think getting into a relationship with him is not the right thing to do then be honest about it and tell him you can’t. But if you think you two can work on it then be patient with each other, you might know, things will work out better than you thought.”

Danny’s head popped up and his eyes were wide. He mouthed to Roy that he wanted an explanation after he puts down the phone. Roy simply gave a thumbs up at him and went back to his phone call. He heard Aaron giving another deep sigh and he fell quiet for a bit. As much as Roy wanted to sound impatient about it, he felt like him and Aaron were in a similar situation. It took a lot for Roy to tell Danny he loves him, not that he didn’t want to but he wasn’t sure if he could carry on the next stage after saying it.

“You’re right, Roy. I’ll tell him. Probably over a nice dinner date or something.” Aaron said, breaking his own silence. “Thanks Roy. I hope to see you soon. You and Danny have a great holiday together.” He said, he didn’t wait for Roy’s response and hung up the phone immediately. Roy gave out a sigh and sat next to Danny.

Danny held Roy’s hand and smiled at him. “Good morning, by the way.” He said and leaned in to give another kiss to Roy. They were both smiling at each other and Roy kissed him once more.

“Good morning as well.” Roy said, just by looking at Danny’s eyes, he wanted to kiss him again. He brushed his hand on Danny’s cheek and tucked the long locks behind his ear. It felt like he was in high school again, the giddy feeling he had in his stomach, butterflies were everywhere and he liked it. A part of him was in disbelief when he remembered the events that happened during midnight.

Though at this point, Roy felt like he fell hard for Danny. When he looks at Danny, he swears he hears songs play loud in his mind, time would stop when he gazes into the green eyes and his breathing would get cut short when Danny touches him. The kisses were more than what he expected, it was breathtaking and he can’t seem to stop his heart from beating fast with the thought of Danny. It was like he’s in a spell, he wasn’t like this and he knew he wasn’t like this with Jason.

Danny pinched Roy’s nose and to his surprise it was harder than he expected, Roy flinched at the pain. “Tell me what Aaron said.” He demanded as he let go of Roy.

“That hurt you know.” Roy said rubbing his nose, he gave a look at Danny but couldn’t resist the sudden puppy eyes he gave. He gave a straight face and sighed. “Okay fine, but that won’t work all the damn time.”

Danny smiled at Roy and gave him a small kiss on his nose. Roy shifted his position on the chair and started looking through his messages for Aaron’s thread. He immediately handed his phone to Danny and waited for him to be done reading.

“Has Justin said anything to you?” Roy followed up a question as he observed Danny. He simply handed the phone back to Roy and shook his head.

“Well, not recently. When we were in that cafe back in Pittsburg, we did talk about his feelings for Aaron.” Danny added. He started contemplating for a bit, remembering that talk. It’s exactly what Justin wanted but Aaron isn’t ready for anything yet. “They really need to talk.”

“Yeah they do.” Roy spaced out a bit thinking about the situation, but it didn’t really seem like their responsibility so Roy laid back on his chair and let out a sigh. “I don’t wanna think too much about it. It’s not my problem anyway.”

Danny slapped his shoulder and gave a scoff. “Why do you always have to be mean, Roy? He is your friend.” He started laughing with Roy after.

“I thought you would be used to this by now.” Roy grinned at Danny.

“I am.” Danny caressed his fingers on Roy’s cheek, the tingling sensation of his fingers made Roy’s body wake up instantly. Roy couldn’t help but blush, but his eyes fixated on the green ones in front of him.  

A part of him is in shock that Danny loves him. Another part of him is wondering where he got the courage to tell Danny that he loved him. It was something Roy wasn’t used to, sudden declamation of emotions. But he knows himself very well, if he does feel it then that means it’s true and it’s real. Sometimes he tells himself that Danny should be lucky to be loved by Roy, but it did seem a bit selfish to think that way.

Then again, that’s how Roy is and he knows that. With romantic feelings, it’s not something he gives away so easily. It was something he was so choosy with, kind of explains why he was single for most of his life. When he met Jason, Roy admits he was very smittened by the blonde man, he was charming and he wasn’t like most guys he hooks up with. His words had content and that’s what made Roy so attracted to him. Jason was close to perfect to Roy, he would be lying if he denied thinking of settling down with Jason. They have talked about it, since they were already two years into their relationship.

There was another part in Roy’s mind that’s asking him why his feelings for Danny was stronger than his feelings for Jason. Jason was almost his age, he seemed like the ideal guy for Roy and he was willing to settle down. Danny on the other hand, he was young, naive and emotionally unstable. Roy didn’t want to compare the both of them but it baffles him that his heart is reacting more to Danny.

“I love you.” Roy said absentmindedly. The words came out like water, flowing freely out of his mouth. His eyes found Danny’s, who was quite shocked with the sudden words. Roy concentrated his stare on Danny and his hands were on his cheek. His body started to relax and he was in control of himself. “I love you, Danny.”

Danny felt his whole body melt, his heart was already splattered all over. Usually he smiles when he gets happy, but his expression matched with Roy. He felt himself get lightheaded from hearing Roy words but he tried to hold himself up. He took a deep breath and returned the gaze. “I love you, Roy.”

———————————————————————————————————

December 25, 2016 3:07 PM

Danny, Shane and Dan decided to go shopping for Bonnie, she was holding a dinner in their house again but this time Danny’s aunts will be there. Originally, it was supposed to be for New Year’s Eve but Bonnie’s sister, Carmen, has to spend her New Year’s in the hospital because her son got into an accident. So Bonnie decided to make the dinner a few days earlier so she can still see her sister.

Roy was left at the house, he was going through his phone again and a part of him was already bored. He let out a lazy sigh when he checked the time. Danny has been gone for hours already, Roy is alright with being alone and being away from Danny but he didn’t like the feeling of doing nothing while waiting. He knew Bonnie and the rest were out as well, so he was all alone in the big house.

He laid his head back on the pillows, he decided to take a quick nap since there’s nothing much to do. He managed to get comfortable and closed his eyes. But as the minutes pass by he couldn’t seem to get himself to sleep, he tried not thinking of anything but it was hopeless. He opened his eyes again, fixating on the creases of the ceiling. He let out a deep sigh, his mind was wandering again and he can’t seem to stop thinking.

When Danny and the rest left, Roy decided to call Willam. He told him everything that happened and that he’s in love with Danny. Roy was expecting that Willam would rub it in his face that he was right, but Willam seemed a bit calm when he found out and warned Roy not to fuck it up. It was something Roy barely did, but for the first time he had that fear he will.

Roy found himself deep in his thoughts again. He was thinking of what happened between him and Danny, the drive back to New York and the work he has to do when he gets back. Roy is known to be very smart, hardworking and he does the job done quickly. He has a good life, he had good credentials and he had good relationships with everyone. But there are times where Roy is not satisfied with himself, he didn’t have everything on a plate all at once. He’s been through a lot as well.

Roy’s father gave him a really hard time also, his dad wanted him to be someone he didn’t want to be. Asides from being a straight man, marrying a woman and giving him grandkids; Roy had this mindset since he was in high school that he needed to please his parents. He would usually deny that time of his life, but there are times he did admit that he wasted his youth doing things he didn’t want to do.

He was top of his class, he was part of a lot of extra-curricular activities, joining any sports team and trying to be straight. There were times he would hook up with his gay high school classmates, but he had to keep that a secret and only his sisters knew about it. Roy had it hard growing up, since he was growing up during the time when homosexuals aren’t that accepted and that his parents are religious. He was lucky that none of them are active members of the church and that his siblings are straight. At least all four of them could give grandchildren. It didn’t really bother Roy that’s he’s the only one from his siblings that isn’t married or that doesn’t have kids.

Roy never liked talking about his family, not even to Danny or Shane. The only one who does know is Willam, only because Roy got really drunk and told Willam everything. But when it comes to his family, he doesn’t like to say anything. He softened it up at one point and talked about his mother, Aida. Anything else, people get nothing. He liked that people know the story behind Bianca del Rio but Roy Haylock remained a mystery.

Danny has gotten Roy to open up at one point, he wanted to know why Roy had these fears about their relationship. It was hard for Roy to explain it the way he wanted to, he wanted Danny to understand what was going on in his head.

Frustrating enough, he still thinks the same way. Roy doesn’t know what can come about this relationship, he loves Danny and he doesn’t regret that but he doesn’t think he’s going to be a good partner for Danny. Roy has commitment issues and he has said that a lot of times, but he’s trying really hard to be more relaxed for Danny. He’s trying not to worry and actually letting his heart lead him. But he tends to fall back to the same thinking, he doesn’t know if he could be there for Danny and he knows that he could hurt Danny.

He wanted to run away, run away from everything. Roy wanted to be alone, retire somewhere far away with his dogs and just live there in solitude. Sometimes he thinks he really is better off alone, he didn’t want to burden anyone with his issues or bother making an effort for anyone. He wasn’t getting any younger and he sometimes admits that it scares him, that he’s forty-one years old and that he’s not satisfied with his life.

Life was unfair to him, or he was being unfair to himself. Danny was this person who was able to make Roy’s heart beat with just one smile. He made Roy feel at home for once and that seemed to be a permanent part of him. There was no one like Danny in his life before, someone so willing to give everything to him, he has told him he wasn’t used to it. He was used to being the one taking care of others or being the go-to person.

Roy believed he was an independent person, he didn’t need to rely on anyone when he was down. He kept his guard up all the time, his walls high which made him the cold hearted bitch that he’s known to be. He has shown his soft side to other people, his fans and to his closest friends but to him, he needs to show them that he’s not always like that so he wouldn’t get himself hurt.

He used to have this big wall surrounding him and it was Danny and Shane that tore it down, they let themselves in and settled. Roy didn’t mind, but he still had another wall and it was surrounding his heart. After Jason, Roy felt the need to make that protection so that he would be close to numb when it comes to love. It was slightly frustrating that Danny was the first to try to get through and succeeded. It seemed all too fast for Roy but it felt right for him as well.

Roy sat up from the bed, he threaded his hands through his hair and stared down at his feet. He felt himself already doubting this situation, he really did want to runaway but he couldn’t hurt Danny like that. Then again, it also seemed like the best option at that point. Roy had to make a decision and he knew he was going to very soon.

“Fuck you, Haylock.”

———————————————————————————————————

January 1, 2017 2:15 AM

The New Year has finally arrived, the Noriega’s had a small celebration for once; it was just with family and Danny’s friends. Danny and Shane would list their New Year’s resolutions and laugh about some of them. They were both happy, things were working out for them and the year ended right. Danny was happy enough that he had Roy to kiss when the clock hit midnight. It was the best way to end 2016 and the best way to start 2017, Danny never felt so happy.

Though Roy hasn’t slept well since he started thinking about his relationship with Danny. Roy tried his best to hide it from him as well, so he wouldn’t make Danny worry and he definitely didn’t want to have another fight. Roy felt slightly drained with everything, but he had to show everyone he was okay. It seemed unfair to Danny, that he has no clue what’s going on. Roy was starting to wonder where all of this is coming from, or the fact that he’s already withdrawing. The thing is, Roy really loves Danny but he keeps believing that Danny is better off without him.

The four had to pack already, since they plan to spend one more night in Las Vegas and then head back to New York. Roy was going through his bags, making sure everything was complete and that he didn’t leave anything behind. He also helped Danny pack, since he keeps getting interrupted by Bonnie about bringing food for the trip. Roy would glance back up and watch Danny walking through the house while his Mom would insist that Danny would bring all these things and the two would just argue.

Shane and Dan were stuck in their own bubble, they haven’t noticed anything about Roy’s behavior changing which was a good thing for Roy. At least he wouldn’t have to explain himself or make things complicated.

Roy stood up from the floor and looked around the room for anything else, before he could turn around he felt arms wrap around his stomach and was slowly constricting him. He heard Danny give a small grunt before letting him go.

“Everything ready?” Danny said cheerfully as he looked over the open suitcases. Roy couldn’t help but smile at him, he laid a soft kiss on Danny’s cheek and prolonged it for a bit before pulling away.

“Yep. Did your mom ask to pack something?”

Danny let out a sigh and leaned his head on Roy’s shoulder. “Nope, it’s just snacks for us when we drive back to Las Vegas.” Danny peeled away from Roy and stretched his body, there was a heavy weight on his shoulders and he rubbed it. The sounds of fireworks were still audible from his room, he watched Roy climb onto the bed and went to switch off the light.

Danny walked over to the bed and laid beside Roy. The two immediately tangled themselves in each other, Roy was getting comfortable, his chest against Danny’s back and he let out a soft yawn.

“Danny.” Roy called softly.

“Yes, Roy?”

“Thank you for this trip.” He replied immediately. Danny could feel Roy’s lips curl up to a smile. “This was the best vacation I’ve had.”

Danny turned himself around and pressed his lips on Roy’s, his hands gently holding both of Roy’s cheeks. Danny gently pulled away, he could still see Roy’s smile in the dark and he smiled back at him. “You’re welcome, I’m glad I could help you.”

Danny nuzzled close to Roy, they were both holding each other close like they were depending on it. Roy’s expression changed, he held Danny closer to feel everything again. He was trying to convince himself that this is what he needed and that he was meant to be with Danny. But the redundancy of his thoughts were annoying him already, he knows he’s capable of letting go of these thoughts and just go with the flow. It’s like a sign for him, that there’s a reason why he keeps thinking about it all over again.

He knows Danny’s already sleeping, since he could hear the even breaths; but Roy wanted to tell him already. He didn’t want to hide it anymore, he didn’t want to lie to anyone anymore.

At this moment, he felt lost. He wanted to slip out of the bed, take his bags and go home. Roy felt like he was capable of hurting everyone right now and he’s frightened because he can do it anytime.

“I’m gonna hurt him. He deserves better. I should leave.” Roy kept repeating this in his head, his body seemed connected to Danny, and he’s denying the fact that his heart was as well. But his head is telling him that he’s never meant to be with him. Roy was about to go crazy at this moment, but he knows he needs to tell Danny in a better time. It’s just that, he wasn’t so sure about how he’s going to say it.

[ohdizzy]

Tie Me Down

Pairing: Taehyung/Yoongi (Side! Jimin/Jeongguk) Rating: Mature Genre: AU, Kidnapping AU (oh my god), Comedy, Semi-Crack, Romance, Word count: 12,000+ Chapter: 2/2 Summary:

“I’ve just woken up with a fucking splitting headache, to find myself fucking taped to an office chair in a fucking living room that smells like unwashed socks and takeaway food. How am I? How do you think I fucking am?”

“Wow. That’s a lot of f-bombs you’re dropping. Did anyone tell you that you need a healthy dose of positivity?”

In which Yoongi’s life is a parody of Taken and Taehyung is just trying his goddamn hardest not to get arrested.

(“You know, when I think of being kidnapped I think of being trapped and hopeless in a desolate warehouse or something. Seeing as I’m secured to an office chair with scotch tape in what looks to be your living room, I can’t help but be a bit underwhelmed.” AU)

Read at: ao3, or under the cut!

It starts off as an uncomfortable pressure in his temple but slowly worsens until the pounding in Yoongi’s head is so severe he wonders if this is how he’ll die—nursing a hangover the size of a continent with a mouth that tastes like unwashed ass.

He pries his eyes open with much difficulty given his current situation and position, and begins to come to the belated realization that:

First and foremost, he is not in his own bedroom. Yoongi knows this because there’s no way he’d be stupid enough to sleep with his curtains open. Besides, he doesn’t even have curtains—especially curtains that are the most hideous shade of green Yoongi’s ever had the displeasure of looking at.

Secondly, he’s butt-fucking-naked. Which, again, is unusual because Yoongi sleeps with at least two layers of clothes on every night because he’s the type that gets cold easily. Which leads him to the last—and possibly most alarming—realization:

There is something—no, someone—lying on top of him. Yoongi isn’t necessarily weak, but he’s not, like… strong. But this person is fucking heavier than your average laptop (which is pretty much the heaviest thing Yoongi has to carry) and Yoongi lowkey feels like he’s being smothered to death. Besides, this person, judging by the fact that their shoulder is currently squishing his left-eye shut whilst their legs are still firmly intertwined with Yoongi’s, is probably at least half a head taller than Yoongi.

Yoongi takes these three things into consideration, puts two and two together and gets five and,

“Oh my god. I had sex.”

It looks like Yoongi has well and truly returned to his former glory days.

“It was great sex,” someone replies sleepily, startling Yoongi. “My ass is so sore right now.”

Yoongi is known to be a little restless in the morning, especially after he’s had a lot to drink, so it’s definitely not his fault if he lets out a loud shout of surprise, completely shoving the body on top of him off him.

Yoongi’s underestimated his own strength because one minute the heavy body is on top of him, and suddenly—freedom. Yoongi’s staring at his own butt-naked body, covered head to toe in scratches and bites and hickeys (goddamn it must’ve been good sex) for a long second before he diverts his attention to a similarly butt-naked Taehyung.

Taehyung.

Oh god.

He’s broken the number one golden rule he’s lived by for the past four years: never, under any circumstance, fuck a friend (or, the FAF as he likes to call it). Because fucking a friend makes things awkward and complicated and creates unnecessary drama and feelings and is basically just one, huge clusterfuck that just isn’t Yoongi’s bliss.

Besides, it’s Taehyung. Taehyung, the boy who sends Yoongi twelve pictures of himself trying on different berets at some department store; Taehyung, who texts him disgustingly adorable good morning text messages with a million grammatical mistakes and a billion emojis.

Taehyung, who, Yoongi is pretty sure, is probably the subject of approximately 78% of Yoongi’s thoughts, and the very same Taehyung who Yoongi wants to kiss the fucking daylights out of. So yeah. Consider him fucked (quite literally and figuratively).

Taehyung blinks up at him from the floor, a hand splayed protectively over Little Taehyung.

“Wow,” Taehyung says. “That was unnecessary, but okay. Thank you for that.”

Every bone in Yoongi’s body is aching and his head is screaming, but there’s just something ridiculous about the situation that makes Yoongi laugh. He tries to repress it, of course—he doesn’t wanna look like a fucking ass in front of the person he would 134% bone (correction: did bone. Oh god, Yoongi is so fucked). But Taehyung just looks so affronted he can’t stop the unattractive snort that escapes his lips. Taehyung just looks more offended, which in turn, just makes Yoongi laugh more, and soon Yoongi’s laughing so hard there are literal tears streaking down his face.

Taehyung’s offended expression slowly morphs into a grin as the situation dawns on him and he starts to laugh too. Soon enough there are two, butt-naked people laughing hysterically, although the reason why remains unknown between them. It takes a while for them to calm down, with Yoongi feebly attempting breathing exercises to calm down his laughter.

“Did we really, y’know…”

He gestures between the two of them.

Taehyung snorts. “Fuck? Well, judging purely by the fact that both of us are naked as hell—as well as the fact that my ass is literally throbbing, I’d say hell yeah we did. High five?”

“I’m not fucking high fiving you, what the fuck.”

“Aw. Why not?” Taehyung pouts. Yoongi resists the urge to high five him.

“Because,” Yoongi hesitates. “I broke my number one rule. I never fuck friends.”

“What? That’s so lame, boo. Let me guess. You only fuck strangers and lovers? God, you’re so teen angst. I can’t handle you sometimes, Yoongi.”

“It’s fucking weird!” Yoongi exclaims, sitting up. “How can you stick your dick into someone and then joke about shit afterwards? It’s weird and makes things awkward as hell!”

“Easy! Having sex with friends is the best. You know why?” Taehyung asks. When Yoongi remains impassive, Taehyung sighs. “That wasn’t a rhetorical question.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Why.”

“Because with strangers you can’t try out weird things that you want to because you fuck them once and then it’s over. And with boyfriends, it’s so… serious. Like, staring deep into each other’s eyes and slow-fucking missionary all the time, y’know? Friends are so much more fun. No strings attached, boom.”

“Okay, I’m not sure what kind of boyfriends you’ve had in the past but I don’t…stare deep into my lover’s eyes and slow-fuck them missionary style all the time. Where do you even—okay, that doesn’t even matter. Besides, what if you catch feelings for your friend? Then it just turns into a huge fucking mess.” Yoongi doesn’t point out that he, in fact, may be harbouring a teeny, tiny crush on Taehyung.

“Have you ever actually caught honey nut feelios for a friend you’ve had sex with?” Taehyung asks.

Yoongi thinks about it, frowning. “Uh—no. But that’s because I’ve never had sex with a friend—because I’ve never broken my rule.”

“See? You’re being weird about it. I think you’ve seen way too many shitty chick flicks, Yoongs.”

Taehyung pauses as if an idea has just popped in his head, before his face lights up in a familiar way that stirs a strange feeling in Yoongi’s stomach. Yoongi’s seen that face way too many times before. It means that something’s about to happen, something that Yoongi won’t be able to stop and will probably end up regretting not being able to do so. Very much.

Taehyung climbs back up onto the bed, swinging his leg around so that he’s straddling Yoongi’s hips. Yoongi can very much feel Taehyung’s dick on his. This is Very, Very Bad. Yoongi should sucker punch Taehyung right off his dick and back into the seventh circle of Hell where he belongs.

Wearing a silly grin on his face, Taehyung leans down and sloppily kisses Yoongi, catching him off guard. Taehyung’s mouth tastes as bad as Yoongi’s mouth feels but he can’t really focus on that, not when Taehyung’s hands are slowly sliding up into Yoongi’s hair, not when he’s steadily grinding on Yoongi’s dick in a way that feels so fucking good.

Taehyung breaks the kiss, smirking when Yoongi automatically chases his lips.

“Do you want me to show you the best kind of sex, Min Yoongi?”

Taehyung sounds like something out of a C-grade porno and Yoongi should find it cringey and off-putting. Instead, Yoongi finds himself hardening under Taehyung’s skillful hips and he licks his lips at the mischief and lust in Taehyung’s eyes. His eyes flit down to Taehyung’s lips, where his tongue pokes out, wetting his soft lips.

Fuck yeah he does.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Yoongi asks, two hours later.

He’s lying in bed, the now soiled sheets covering up his bottom half. His legs feel like jell-o and his head is throbbing harder than ever, but Yoongi doesn’t give a damn, not when he’s basking in the afterglow of three consecutive orgasms (three!).

Taehyung slowly stands up, stretching (his goddamn fucking naked body) in front of Yoongi like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a friend’s soft dick. There’s something about this whole absurd situation, though, that is just so domestic—and Yoongi should hate it, honestly. But he doesn’t.

“Not really,” Taehyung bends down, scooping a shirt off the floor. He sniffs it gingerly before shucking it on. He throws Yoongi a pair of random basketball shorts. “You? Here, wear these.”

“Thanks.” Yoongi staggers up to slide them on. It feels kind of weird, letting his manhood just dangle freely. Strange, but liberating. “I literally don’t remember anything.”

Taehyung’s shoving a red cap onto his head, tucking the messy strands under the cap. “Do you wanna get dessert?”

Yoongi stares at him. “Tae, it’s like, 9AM.”

“C’mon, hyungie!” Taehyung waggles his eyebrows. Yoongi snorts, rolling his eyes, before shucking on his shirt from the night before. It has a suspicious stain down the front but Yoongi’s just going to ignore that for now. “You want… pancakes? Hmm?”

Pancakes does sound appealing to Yoongi’s hungover ass. Taehyung must have read the hesitation on Yoongi’s face because he goes in for the kill, bounding over to Yoongi and pushing his face much too close to Yoongi’s for comfort.

“C’mon. I gave you three orgasms. I took your dickings like a champ,” Taehyung complains loudly.

“Ugh, gross, Tae. Your breath smells like something died in your mouth,” Yoongi says, wrinkling his nose and pushing Taehyung’s laughing face away. “Don’t act like you didn’t like it. And I’m still feeling weird about this whole thing. So stop bringing it up.”

“Yeah, your sperm died in my mouth,” Taehyung cackles, Yoongi chokes on his spit. “All those possible babies you could’ve made. My mouth is a graveyard.”

“You fucker I—oh my god, I’m—”

“And it’s not weird! How many times do I have to say that? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that you were balls deep in me several times. Besides, you loved it. ‘Oh yeah, Tae, you look so fucking good, you fu—’”

“Oh my god, just. Shut up. Please.” Yoongi covers his face in embarrassment.

Yoongi wonders if it’s too much to ask for a huge abyss to open up and swallow him whole. His parents would be sad, but he’s sure they’ll understand given the circumstances.

Taehyung pats his shoulder. “It’s okay, Yoongi. I’m sure as time goes on you’ll get less weird about it every time we do the freaky.”

Woah, okay. Time to back the fuck up.

“Every time? What makes you think there’ll ever be a second time?”

Taehyung looks at Yoongi like he had just spoken to him in Greek. “Um. Because? The sex was bomb, and you’re crazy if you think I’m going to pass Go without collecting my two million. Duh.”

“That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

“Do you need me to spell it out for you? Yoongles, I’m not giving up that bomb dick game of yours just because you have weird teen angst about it.”

“Oh my god just—just shut up. Oh my god. Let’s just go get the goddamn pancakes.”

(Spoiler alert: Taehyung’s right.)

hobi uhhhhh where the fuck are u 12.14pm

hobi u never came home last night and u still haven’t come home yet 12.14pm

hobi OH MY GOD…….does that mean……that possibly….u had a one night stand 12.15pm

hobi MY MIN SNAIL, OUT GETTING LAID, IM BLESSDT 12.15pm

hobi

12.15pm

Yoongi Why is it that the first thing you think of is me getting laid? What if I had been brutally murdered? 12.20pm

hobi um don’t say shit like that wtf that’s so freaky wtf and besides you’re replying to me which means you haven’t been brutally murdered so THERE 12.20pm

hobi WHERE ARE YOUUUU i’m home alone n bored 12.21pm

Yoongi I’m getting breakfast with a friend 12.24pm

hobi oh my god 12.26pm

hobi first of all, u nEVER eat breakfast and SECOND OF ALL, “””FRIEND”””????? IS YOUR ASS LITERALLY SRS?????? 12.27pm

Yoongi Omg chill it’s just Taehyung we’re getting pancakes I’ll be home soon 12.30pm

hobi JUST??? TAEHYUNG??????? lol alright tell yourself that 12.30pm

hobi you don’t even LIKE pancakes like wyd 12.30pm

hobi wait what he fukc 12.30pm

hobi does that mean 12.30pm

Yoongi Don’t you fucking dare 12.32pmm

hobi HOLY FUKC OH MY FFUCKING GOD WAIT UNTIL NAMJOON AND SEOKJIN HYUNG EHAR ABOUT THIS FIUUUUU HAHAHAHAHDHSIAK 12.33pm

“Why do you two always show up at our apartment,” Yoongi complains as Seokjin and Namjoon settle back comfortably on his sofa like it’s their own, sipping Yoongi’s imported beer (that he had specifically been saving for when he has a long day and needs to kick back and relax) beatifically.

“Your sofa is stupidly comfortable,” Namjoon says with a serene smile on his face.

Yoongi scowls. “That’s your own fault for buying the stupidest furniture ever. Literally all your chairs are made of wire.”

“It’s Avant Garde! You wouldn’t understand,” Namjoon sniffs.

Hoseok makes an amused noise as he shifts through their vast DVD collection in a bid to find The Dark Knight. “He loves it when you come over, don’t worry.”

“I do not.”

“Anyways,” Seokjin interrupts, steering the conversation into safer waters. “Where were you two last night?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon intercedes. “We went over to your house because we got bored studying and you guys weren’t home. Hoseok I can understand, but hyung, you’re always home.”

Hoseok frowns. “What time? I was home last night.”

“Around maybe seven-ish?”

“Oh. I think I was grocery shopping then. Yoongi hyung wasn’t home all day, I think. Actually, coming to think of it, where were you?”

Yoongi’s scowl deepens. “You guys are worse than my parents. I was studying at the library during the day, and then later that night Tae wanted to go to the open cinema they have on campus on Thursday nights.”

“But Yoongi,” Seokjin looks puzzled. “You hate open cinemas, on the account of that one time you fell asleep with your mouth open and a mosquito bit your tongue.”

Namjoon smothers a laugh behind his hand when Yoongi glares.

“Yeah, well, that was like, what. Four years ago?” Yoongi says sharply, sniffing disdainfully.

“It was actually two months ago, but okay. Alright,” Hoseok says smugly. “Whatever you say, hyung.”

Hoseok wiggles his way onto the end of the sofa after setting up the movie, effectively sandwiching Yoongi between Namjoon and Seokjin. Trying to fit four grown men onto a two-seater couch is definitely not Yoongi’s idea of comfort and he makes sure to voice this opinion loudly, several times. Just so they don’t miss the memo. But of course, as always, Yoongi’s friends are assholes and don’t give a damn, Seokjin even going a step further and resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

The movie starts and the four of them settle down and watch the movie, but Yoongi finds that he can’t find himself concentrating. Not when he and Taehyung watched this very movie just last week, and not when all Yoongi can think about is Taehyung mimicking the joker’s why so serious? in poor, broken English.

Yoongi doesn’t realize that a stupid, sappy smile has taken over his face and that he’s staring at the Joker in such fashion until Namjoon points it out in a small voice.

“Shit, sorry,” Yoongi clears his throat, rearranging his face back into his usual blank stare. “I was just thinking of the time Taehyung was copying the Joker. He’s so dumb when he does it, but it’s pretty funny. And his voice is stupidly deep too, so there’s that.” Yoongi tacks on unnecessarily. What he’s just said catches up to him a second later and Yoongi clamps his mouth shut so he doesn’t say any more stupid shit.

There’s an awkward silence between the four of them for a second.

“You know,” Seokjin says slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. “You sure have been hanging around him a lot these days.”

“No I haven’t,” Yoongi frowns. “I barely ever see him.”

“Oh please,” Namjoon snorts. “Literally once a day I send you my obligatory, hyung, lets meet up Katalk message and five times out of seven you’ll reply, sorry can’t, hanging out with Taehyung.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok jumps in, ignoring Yoongi’s weak protests. “When you’re not hanging out with him, then you’re always on your phone talking to him or messaging him. And when you’re not doing that, then it’s always hey Seok-ah, look at this photo Taehyung sent me, look how dumb he looks.”

“And are we going to forget about the fact that Yoongi and Taehyung go at it like rabbits all the time? Yoongi’s breaking the FAF rule that he used to be so adamant on keeping. Like, whaaat?”

“Yeah! I got sexiled four times last week. Four!”

“Why the fuck are you all ganging up on me,” Yoongi protests. “So what if I’ve been hanging around him?”

Namjoon laughs loudly, covering his mouth with his hands. “Oh my god, hyung it’s almost like you’re—”

Seokjin silences Namjoon effectively with a stare and suddenly Yoongi’s glad for Seokjin’s existence. He’s always known, that out of the three, Seokjin’s always the one who has his back. Seokjin is the best. Seokjin for president.

“Guys, leave Yoongi alone.” Yoongi smirks at Hoseok and Namjoon who look properly chastised. Then Seokjin continues, “So what if Yoongi has a crush on Taehyung?”

The three of them don’t laugh (otherwise Yoongi may not have been able to control his fists, knuckle and sandwich) but they do exchange knowing, smug smiles.

“I don’t have a fucking crush!” Yoongi jumps from his spot on the sofa, whirling around to point an accusing finger at all three of them, stomping his foot in anger. “You—you fucking immature—immature… brats!”

And on that dramatic note, Yoongi storms off to his bedroom, slamming the door loudly so that they can hear that he is Most Definitely Not Pleased.

Much to his disappointment, they don’t come groveling at his door for his forgiveness. Instead, he can hear them howling in laughter.

Fuckers. All of them.

Yoongi stares down at his worksheet in growing agitation, clicking his pen furiously. These. Goddamn. Algorithms.

He can feel the burn of the glare from the girl sitting one table down boring into his skull, and he’s sorry, he honestly is, because he’s not usually a Library Asshole. A normal asshole, sure, but never a Library Asshole.

There’s a strange sense of déjà vu. Here he is, sitting in the library, at 10PM, clicking his pen angrily at the stupidest algorithms possibly to ever exist. The only difference is Taehyung is seated next to him, shooting him amused glances every so often as he types furiously away at his laptop.

(When Yoongi had taken a break he had peeked over Taehyung’s shoulder. To his immense surprise, Taehyung was sitting there, chilling like a goddamn cucumber with a serene smile on his face whilst writing about syntax and metaphors and other things Yoongi didn’t really want to think about.

“What the hell are you writing about? I thought you majored in music? Why are you—oh my god, are you doing this for fun?” With Taehyung, anything and everything seemed plausible.

Taehyung giggled. “No, what the hell. Why would I be writing a five-thousand-word essay on changga for fun?”

“Then—then why—”

“I double major in music and Literature!” Taehyung said brightly, leaning back on his chair. “I thought you knew that about me…? I swear I’ve told you this before.”

“Oh,” Yoongi replied faintly. “Double majoring. In music and Literature. Nice. Walk in the park, I assume?”

“It’s not easy, but it’s not… like… hard or anything. It’s just—” Taehyung shook his hand in a so-so motion.

“Not… hard. Okay. Alright.”)

Yoongi’s smart. He knows he is. But when he told his parents he would be doing mathematical economics in university, there was no way in fucking hell he imagined he would be trying to solve questions that started with Yangji has bought three hundred and sixty-one watermelons and fucking failing.

He supposes him not being able to solve questions like this in middle school was some sort of prediction that he would still be fucking useless at them come university. But the thing is this: he’s here to learn about mathematical economics, not figure out why the fuck Yangji decided to be a fuckwit and buy three hundred and sixty-one goddamn watermelons.

But. He supposes that not everyone can have what they want in life. And this includes himself so, he must, in fact, figure out why the fuck Yangji bought an insanely stupid amount of watermelons (and watermelons, out of all fruits. Why does it seem like the world has it in for him).

“You know what?” Yoongi says loudly throwing down his pen. He earns an amused quirk of the lips from Taehyung and a hissed shut up from the girl burning a hole through his skull. Yoongi ignores her.

“What?”

“I’m just going to quit school. I’ll become an escort or something. I know my legs are slim enough to go for that flower boy look.”

“Stop being such a diva.”

“I’m serious! What’s the point of continuing this course if I can’t even figure out why Yangji wants three hundred fucking watermelons? Like, what even?”

Taehyung giggles. “You sound stressed. Do you want a blowjob? I know you’re lowkey into exhibitionism, Yoongles. Remember that one time you f—”

“Jesus, Taehyung, keep it down.”

“Fine,” Taehyung pouts. “What about a sexy shoulder rub?”

“No, oh my god. I want to know how to get the answer for this question.”

“Do you want me to have a look at it for you?”

Yoongi doesn’t even bother concealing his scoff. This is the fucking kid who’d thought it was a good idea to kidnap him and attempt to fucking ransom him. “Taehyung, this is mathematical economics.”

“Hey!” Taehyung protests. “I was good at math in high school!”

Yoongi shoots him The Look. “Tae, this is a little different from your high school math.”

“Oh, stop acting like a wet towel and hand me the question sheet.”

Yoongi snorts. “Alright cutie, here you go then. Have a go.”

There’s a small part of Yoongi that feels a little bad for egging Taehyung on. Even if Taehyung was good at math in high school—even the best—this is fourth year mathematical economics. Taehyung doesn’t stand a chance. A small part of Yoongi feels bad, but a much larger part of Yoongi feels mean and vindictive so he sits there with a smug grin on his face, leaning back on his chair with his arms crossed over his chest, feeling like some high school rebel.

Taehyung reads the question once, twice, three times, and Yoongi kinda just wants to tell Taehyung to give up, but decides to let him suffer a little more before pulling him out of his misery.

“Yoongi, do you have an example of these kinds of questions?”

Yoongi cackles inwardly. Strike One.

“Yeah sure,” he says, taking care to keep a neutral face. He hands him another sheet. “Here.”

Taehyung reads through the example, his eyes quickly scanning the page, the frown on his face deepening. Yoongi watches, already feeling a mean victory coming on, as Taehyung hunches over the paper, scribbling nonsense down furiously, before punching a few numbers into Yoongi’s calculator.

Yoongi lets Taehyung fester in his own misery for another two minutes before he starts to feel bad and decides to show some mercy.

“Tae, it’s alright if you can’t do—”

“Okay! I think I solved it. Is the answer ₩28,940 with 6.18% interest per annum?”

Yoongi laughs, patting Taehyung’s hand condescendingly. “Tae. It’s okay. You don’t have to act like you got it. Besides, the answer’s—”

He looks down at his answer sheet, his laughter stopping short. In Yoongi’s very own chicken scratch writing, is ₩28,940 w/ 6.18% p.a.  

What the flipping fuck.

Yoongi jerks his head back up to stare at Taehyung like he’s grown another head. Taehyung smiles smugly back at him, shrugging and sliding back the worksheet to Yoongi who, in dumb shock, scans the paper quickly. And there, in neatly printed writing, is Taehyung’s calculations, correct down to the very fucking T.

“I—what the fuck,” Yoongi breathes, still unable to tear his eyes away from the paper. It kind of feels like his entire world has been flipped upside down and inside out and Yoongi’s really, really unsure of how to react to this.

He’s burning with embarrassment, his cheeks flushing a dark red. Oh my god. He had acted like such an ass, too. Yoongi vaguely wonders if it’s too much to ask someone to hog-tie him and then throw him into shark infested waters. Maybe that would be able to save him from the embarrassment.

When he finally manages to drag his eyes back up to Taehyung’s form, Taehyung’s absentmindedly twirling Yoongi’s pen between his fingers over and over again, a small, knowing smile on his face.

“You know,” He starts, and Yoongi wants to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. “I’m not as stupid as you think. I know everyone thinks I’m some sort of airhead, but I’m really not.”

“How did you—”

“I told you, I was good at math in high school. What I didn’t tell you was that I did an accelerated course. I did university math in high school.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Yoongi feels like an idiot.

An example of karma at its finest, he supposes.

Yoongi’s waiting under the shade of a tree for Seokjin to come pick him up from class. The usually prompt Seokjin is fifteen minutes late on the account of running into his ex-girlfriend on campus and having to do a detour. I’ll be there in thirty, sorry Yoongi~ the text had read. Yoongi sighs.

“Yeah, and I was like fuck that and they were like fuck that and we were all like, fuck that and it was fucking wild, bro.”

Yoongi perks up at the familiar voice, swiveling around on the spot and lo and behold, it’s Jeongguk looking excited as he walks slowly, kicking his feet along the dirt floor, one hand cradling his phone and the other gesturing wildly in the air.

“Hey—Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk looks up, eyes searching. When they fall on Yoongi his lips stretch up into a grin and he waves enthusiastically, making his way over to Yoongi.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk greets once he’s standing next to Yoongi, his phone still cradled in his hand. “Hey, I’ll call you back later, idiot. I’m busy talking to your significant other.” Jeongguk pauses for a second before laughing loudly. “Yeah, alright. Cya.”

He hangs up the call, shoving his phone into his back pocket peering curiously at Yoongi, who’s managed to turn a brilliant shade of scarlet in less than two seconds.

“Who was that on the phone?” Yoongi manages.

Jeongguk grins smugly. “Why, it was your significant other, hyung! Taetae!”

It might be the intense embarrassment Yoongi’s feeling, or all the pent-up shock Yoongi feels over The Big Reveal (or: the incident at the library Yoongi never wants to bring up again) but he takes one look at Jeongguk’s annoyingly cute, smug-ass face and blurts out, “Why didn’t you tell me Taehyung was a genius?”

Jeongguk’s expression melts into confusion, his eyebrows coming together. “Huh?”

“Why… why do you—you always call Taehyung an idiot when he’s obviously not,” Yoongi finishes lamely.

There’s silence for two, long, agonizing seconds before there’s a moment of understanding.

“Well… yeah, I know he’s not,” Jeongguk says like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “I’m just being ironic. Anyone who knows Taehyung knows that he’s literally a genius. He just makes stupid choices sometimes, but he’s not stupid. Everyone knows that.”

“Oh right. Yeah,” Yoongi quickly agrees, nodding along.

“Why do you suddenly ask?” Jeongguk asks curiously, peering at Yoongi with those big-ass eyes.

Yoongi, unable to say anything—how can he? Oh sorry, I thought your best friend was an airhead this whole time and probably made him feel stupid as fuck?—squirms uncomfortably under Jeongguk’s scrutinizing stare.

“Well… like, the thing is…”

Jeongguk’s expression darkens and he goes from looking like a curious bunny to someone who could literally knock Yoongi out in one punch. Jeongguk takes a step towards Yoongi and if Yoongi wasn’t so caught up in his guilt he would probably have been kind of annoyed at the fact that a living fetus is trying to intimidate him.

“Yeah hyung, didn’t you know?” Jeongguk asks lowly, his voice dripping with venom. “People misunderstand Taetae all the time, and he’s always getting hurt unnecessarily because of that. He knows people think he’s an airhead and he tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care, when in fact he does. So much.”

The guilt eating Yoongi up from the inside must be written all over his face because Jeongguk sighs, all the fight whooshing out of him in one go. He pats Yoongi’s shoulder gingerly.

“Hyung, it’s alright. Just don’t make the same mistake twice… oh, and hyung?”

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk’s face is uncharacteristically serious and a little sad, too.

“Don’t hurt Taehyungie. He doesn’t cope well with pain.”  

In the seven months Yoongi has had the pleasure (in Taehyung's words, not Yoongi's) of knowing Taehyung, he’s made sure Taehyung and his circle friends don’t clash with Yoongi’s circle of friends. Just thinking about it and what could possibly happen makes Yoongi shudder with horror.

Like, sure. Hoseok sees Taehyung whenever he comes over to their apartment (“Hey Hoseokie hyung!” “Hey, Taehyung! Are you here for Yoongi?” “Yeah, I’m here for sexy times.”) and sure, Hoseok knows Jimin from dance and Jeongguk because of mutual association, and but they’ve never actually hung out as a collective group and Yoongi would like to keep it like that, thank you very much.

So when Yoongi enters his apartment after a long day, looking forward to taking his pants off and drinking beer in the kitchen pantless like a real fucking man, only to find Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk sitting around his dining table drinking his beer (it’s always his fucking beer), hooting away loudly, Yoongi knows that his long day is about to get a lot, lot longer.

“What the fuck is happening,” Yoongi deadpans.

He’s honestly surprised and impressed at his ability to mask the horror and terror he feels at the sight of his friends interacting with Taehyung and his friends. It’s literally his worst nightmare (no, seriously. He had a nightmare about this a week ago). Maybe it’s time to drop his algorithms and pick up theatre.

“Yoongles!” Taehyung exclaims, jumping up and rushing over to Yoongi. He crushes Yoongi to his chest and Yoongi can feel his nose squishing flat against Taehyung’s chest. Yoongi grunts but relents to the hug, leaning into Taehyung’s touch. Taehyung’s warm and broad and smells like a mixture of laundry detergent and the cologne he wears.

When Taehyung finally lets go, he beams at Yoongi, pulling him to the dining table where the others are lounging. Jeongguk looks unperturbed by Taehyung’s clinginess but Seokjin and Hoseok look surprised. Yoongi’s not really surprised—Yoongi hates being touched affectionately, always shoving Hoseok away whenever he tries to hug Yoongi and only half-relenting to Seokjin’s hugs (but that’s only because he’s older).

But with Taehyung it’s different. It’s not like he enjoys them, but rather because even if Yoongi resists Taehyung always ends up finding a way to annoy and hug him. So Yoongi’s figured that it’s better just to hug Taehyung whenever he wants. That way, the hug will be over faster and therefore Yoongi’s suffering is also shortened. Foolproof, right?

“You didn’t tell me you had such cool friends,” Taehyung says accusingly. “I thought all your friends were going to be mean like you. I honestly thought Hoseok hyung was an outlier but Seokjin hyung is so nice, too! He invited me, Jeongguk, and Jimin over for dinner next week! We’re going to meet Namjoon hyung then! How nice is that?!”

Yoongi splutters indignantly.

“I can’t believe you held out on me Yoongi. They’re so cute,” Seokjin chides. He turns to Taehyung and Jeongguk, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “You know, whenever the four of us meet, it’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.”

“Oh yeah,” Jeongguk jumps in, grinning widely. “You should hear Taehyungie hyung when he goes on his soap box about Yoongi hyung. Doesn’t stop waxing lyrical about his tiny cuteness.”

Yoongi’s blushing so hard he’s pretty sure his scalp is red too.

“Jeongguk!” Taehyung whines, smacking his arm.

Seokjin sighs dreamily. “They’re like the cuter versions of Hoseok and Namjoon.”

“Speaking of Namjoon, you have to meet him. You’ll love him, he’s a riot,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah! You have to meet my boyfriend Jimin, too.”

The four start speaking excitedly, voices gradually growing louder as they speak over each other. No, no, no, no, no. This isn’t happening. Yoongi’s not just going to sit there in dumb shock while his literal nightmare turns into a fucking reality. Not on Yoongi’s fucking watch.

“No,” Yoongi blurts out.

Four pairs of eyes blink at him.

“Why not?” Taehyung asks, surprised.

Oh shit. Yoongi didn’t think this far.

“Uh… because…” When Seokjin raises his eyebrows at him, he bristles defensively. “Because! Because…”

Fuck.

Taehyung smiles, patting Yoongi’s hand comfortingly. “Aw, Yoongi’s tired. Jeongguk, let’s go now. It’s pretty late. Hyung, you’re really going to invite us over for dinner, right?”

Seokjin stands up, ruffling Taehyung’s hair affectionately. “Of course. Let’s make a Katalk group chat, okay? We can sort out details there.”

As Seokjin, Jeongguk, and Hoseok make their way towards the front door chattering about the dinner, Taehyung hangs back waiting for Yoongi.

“I missed you today,” Taehyung says shyly. “I went to look for you after my classes but you weren’t in any of your usual spots.”

Yoongi swallows.

“Yeah,” he manages. “I had a few group assignments due, so we went to one of their dorms.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi says again lamely. “Are—are you hungry? I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Do you wanna grab something to eat with me?”

“Now?”

“Well—yeah. If you’re not busy. If you are, that’s cool too. We have ra—”

“I’d like to.” Taehyung smiles at Yoongi and he pretends not to feel the fluttering in his stomach. Honey nut feelios—in the wise words of Taehyung—are bad, bad, bad.

Taehyung leans over to press a kiss on Yoongi’s cheek, giggling as he noses into Yoongi’s cheek after. Yoongi laughs, leaning into Taehyung’s touch and briefly closing his eyes. When he opens his eyes, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Jeongguk are staring at the two of them. Seokjin's mouth is hanging open, and Jeongguk looks somewhat disturbed, but Hoseok. Hoseok has a strange gleam in his eyes that makes Yoongi squirm awkwardly.

“We’re going to eat dinner,” Taehyung says, oblivious—or perhaps he just doesn’t care—to the weird atmosphere. “Guk, don’t wait up for me.”

“Wasn’t planning to,” Jeongguk replies dryly. Taehyung fake-gasps in betrayal and Hoseok and Jeongguk laugh, breaking the strange mood.

“Yeah,” Yoongi tacks on unnecessarily. “We’re going to eat dinner. As friends.”

“Hm,” Hoseok says.

Yoongi smiles uncomfortably.

“Lets stay here for the rest of the night.” Taehyung’s voice cuts through the comfortable silence.

Yoongi shifts in bed, turning so that he’s facing Taehyung, hitching the covers up higher. There’s an unreadable expression on Taehyung’s face as he walks his fingers up and down Yoongi’s bare arm.

“I thought you had dinner plans with Jeongguk and Jimin.”

“I cancelled,” Taehyung says. He stops walking his fingers and looks up at Yoongi, the corners of his lips turned down. “I just want to be with you tonight.”

“Is everything alright?” Yoongi pinches the soft skin under Taehyung’s navel. That earns him a small smile that seems to fall as quickly as it formed. “You seem down.”

“Not really.”

Well, that much is clear to Yoongi. All day today, Taehyung had seemed distracted, eyes darting nervously and a fake smile propped up in place of the genuine, rectangle-shaped smile Yoongi has grown to love so much. And later when Yoongi had pressed Taehyung down onto his sheets, fucked into him roughly, Taehyung seemed clingier than usual, constantly pulling Yoongi down to kiss him or intertwining their fingers together.

Yoongi moves closer to Taehyung, tangling their legs together before pressing a chaste kiss to his jaw. “What’s wrong?”

Taehyung exhales roughly, winding his arms around Yoongi tightly and burying his face into Yoongi’s hair.

“It’s nothing, really.” His words come out muffled. “Just… do you ever feel like, just when you feel like you’re starting to get a rhythm in your life everything just has to go and fuck up? I don’t know how to explain it, but… I dunno. I guess I just feel sad. Can we stay here for the rest of the night, Yoongi?”

Yoongi swallows uneasily at the finality of Taehyung’s words. Something’s brewing inside Taehyung, and it won’t be long until it spills over.

Why, why, why, Yoongi wants to ask. So many questions, and yet, Yoongi knows that when Taehyung gets like this—evasive and quiet—he’ll get absolutely nothing out of him.

“Of course,” Yoongi says instead, hugging Taehyung closer to him and pressing down the ache in his chest. “We can stay here for as long as you want.”

TAEHYUNGIE hey yoongs 4.02pm

Yoongi Yeah 4.03pm

TAEHYUNGIE please come to my place at ur convenience 4.04pm

TAEHYUNGIE and by that i mean now 4.04pm

TAEHYUNGIE come to my place now 4.04pm

Yoongi Jeez, so demanding. Are you seriously horny right now? 4.05pm

TAEHYUNGIE no jeez not everything is about sex yoongs god ur such an animal 4.06pm

Yoongi -_- 4.08pm

Yoongi What’s happening? 4.08pm

TAEHYUNGIE secret hehe 4.09pm

TAEHYUNGIE just come and you'll find out okay 4.09pm

Yoongi Alright, fine. I’m on my way now 4.11pm

When Yoongi arrives thirty minutes later, he’s surprised to see everyone crammed into Taehyung’s tiny, one-man apartment, with Taehyung nowhere in sight.

Frowning, he sandwiches himself between Namjoon and Jimin. He turns to Namjoon.

“What are all of you doing here?”

“Wow,” Namjoon says dryly. “I’m really feeling the love.”

“Taehyungie sent us all the same message and asked us to come to his apartment,” Jimin says in place of Namjoon. “He said it was urgent.”

“Where’s Tae?”

“I’m not sure, Jeongguk and I were the first to arrive and he wasn’t here when we got here.”

At that moment, the front door swings open with a bang. The six of them jump collectively, heads swivelling towards the front door.

It’s Taehyung, dressed in an all black suit  as if he’s attending a funeral. He’s wearing a fancy hat with a net attached to the front that covers his face, as well as black silk gloves to complete his ridiculous getup. The six of them watch, stunned, as Taehyung glides into the room, drawing the curtains shut. He produces a candle (out of fuck knows where) and lights it up with an air of solemnity.

“Good evening, dearest friends. And thank you for gathering here,” he states in a low voice.

“It’s not even five yet,” Hoseok says somewhere to the left of Yoongi. Taehyung ignores him.

This entire situation is fucking ridiculous. Absolutely goddamn weird and ridiculous and Yoongi’s on the verge of rolling his eyes into oblivion. But there’s something about this entire situation that makes Yoongi feel like something really awful is going to happen. Yoongi stands up, wanting nothing more but for Taehyung to stop scaring him.

“Tae?” Yoongi’s taking a step towards Taehyung.

“I have something to announce,” Taehyung says, and it’s so stupidly goofy and ridiculous Yoongi knows Taehyung’s going to say something fucked up. He’s going to say something and it’s going to be true and it’s going to fuck everything up.

“I swear if you lost all your laundry again I am going to murder you,” Jimin says.

“I received a scholarship!” Taehyung exclaims, looking around the room. His lips are stretched in an unnatural grin. “In Daegu. I received a scholarship in Daegu.” Taehyung repeats again softly, looking directly at Yoongi.

“What?” Seokjin stands up. “Taehyung, that’s great. I hadn’t even known you had applied for a scholarship.”

Neither did Yoongi.

“Well, I was considering it for a while. It would be nicer to live closer to home so I could visit my family often. But I didn’t actually think I’d get it,” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk scoffs. “You knew you would, you’re a fucking genius.”

“Okay, I knew I would. But I was still surprised.”

“Wait—wait but why are you dressed like that?” Namjoon sounds as confused as Yoongi feels.

“Oh. I’m holding a funeral. My life in Seoul as you know it is ending. I thought it was worthy of a funeral,” Taehyung shrugs, grinning goofily. “I was lowkey annoyed you all came so early. I thought I would have time to make a funeral march or something.”

Yoongi’s world is fucking spinning round and round and round and he’s not sure which way is up or down and Taehyung’s grinning like nothing’s wrong, but his smile is stretched out so unnaturally Yoongi knows he’s upset and everyone is getting up to congratulate him and—

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”  Yoongi bursts out, taking a furious step towards Taehyung.

There’s a shocked silence but Yoongi doesn’t care, not when Taehyung’s leaving Seoul, leaving Yoongi here alone without a fucking heads up.

“Yoongi?” Taehyung sounds surprised. He reaches towards Yoongi but he twists away from Taehyung’s grip and his hands fall limply to his side.

“How is everything a joke to you? How can you take something like this so fucking lightly?” Yoongi’s chest is heaving and it hurts so fucking much because of the amount of effort he’s putting into breathing so he doesn’t break. There’s something wet on his cheeks and he brushes them away angrily, alarmed and upset at himself and how he’s reacting. Min Yoongi doesn’t cry. No fucking way.

Taehyung’s expression is so soft, so gentle, but it has a note of finality to it that Yoongi just can’t fucking accept.

“Uh—we’re gonna go,” Jeongguk mutters, tugging Jimin towards the door. “We just realized that we—we haven’t done… our dishes.”

Suddenly the apartment is filled with awkward murmurs and half-assed excuses, before the rest file out quickly, the door closing behind them with a snap. The candle flickering casts strange shadows across Taehyung’s delicate features for a second before Taehyung blows the candle out, setting it on the coffee table and Yoongi wants to laugh because it’s so fucking dramatic. But his life isn’t a K-drama. It’s real life.

Taehyung takes his stupid hat off. “C’mon Yoongi. Don’t be like that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Why, why, why?

Taehyung rubs his hand across his eyes and suddenly, he looks a lot older than he is. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“You got it that night, didn’t you?” Yoongi swallows heavily. “Last week. That’s why you were so upset.”

“I—yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?”

“Because you were so happy that night. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. You make me so happy when I see you, Yoongi.” Taehyung lets out a small laugh. “I—I didn’t want to ruin anything. I just… didn’t want to make this harder for me than it already was.”

“Are you fucking serious? How can you be so selfish and only think about yourself? What about me? What about how I feel?”

“Selfish? It’s my fucking scholarship, not yours,” Taehyung’s eyes are blazing with anger and something else Yoongi can’t really put a finger on. “I don’t have to tell you anything if I don’t want to. And I’m sorry because I hurt you, but nothing lasts forever, Yoongi. Not degrees, not jobs, nothing. I’m not going to sit around on my ass waiting for something to happen to me. I would be fucking stupid not to take this scholarship.”

Yoongi gets the feeling that Taehyung isn’t just speaking about the scholarship anymore, and he can feel the ice in Taehyung’s words spreading through his veins, numbing him.

Yoongi laughs, and even to him, it sounds derisive and sarcastic. “You know what, Tae? You’re right. You’re completely fucking right. Why the fuck would you tell me that? I’m the idiot for thinking that you would tell me, I’m the one that should be apologizing.”

The fire in Taehyung’s eyes is dying. Taehyung was never one for confrontation, never one to like conflict. He’d always been the peacemaker, stopping Jimin and Jeongguk’s fights and telling Yoongi to call home more often. He’s too soft, too kind, too gentle—everything Yoongi isn’t. He sighs, and by then, all the fight has sapped out of him But not Yoongi.

“Yoongi, I shouldn’t ha—”

“And besides,” Yoongi continues, egged on by his anger, hurt, and confusion. He can feel the walls Taehyung had knocked down in one go rising again, can feel his heart hardening from the betrayal and hurt he feels. He takes a mocking step towards Taehyung, his lip curling back into a vicious sneer. “You say nothing lasts forever like we were even anything in the first place.”

Yoongi had never been particularly strong—never a great fighter like his older brother—and he had never been that popular or well liked back in his high school. Too scrawny and too weird because he didn’t like talking about girls and sex and cars, and Yoongi had been the outcast. And as a consequence of that, Yoongi had to learn how to fight to fend off Minwoo and his group of friends—a boy who liked to invest a large amount of time into tormenting Yoongi—and since he had never been particularly strong, he had learnt to rely on his words.

Ah, Yoongi and his famous poison tongue. Soon Minwoo and his group of friends came to know that Yoongi was all sharp features and bony elbows and biting words that hurt in all the wrong places. Soon, Minwoo and his friends came to know that if they touched Yoongi wrong they wouldn’t get hurt physically, but instead would their pride, their self-esteem handed back to them in tatters.

It’s who he is, who he’s been since he can remember.

He’s never been ashamed of who he is but for the first time in his life, as he witnesses Taehyung take a step back, his expression hurt and shocked, Yoongi wishes that his words were softer, that he was kinder. Because the next words he hears make his heart drop to his stomach, make his fragile world collapse and break.

“We might’ve been nothing, but I thought we were on our way to becoming something.”

Jeongguk Um no disrespect because I mean this with full offence but dont talk to me or Jimin or Taehyung anymore 6.32pm

Jeongguk Tae literally called us crying so hard Jimin couldnt understand a single word hes saying. I told you not to hurt Taehyung he cant fucking handle this kind of shit 6.32pm

Jeongguk Don’t talk to him again. You’ve done enough 6.33pm

hobi is everything alright? 7.12pm

you have (1) missed call from Joon 8.39pm

you have (2) missed calls from hobi 9.45pm

hobi yoongi can you answer your phone you’re starting to worry me out it’s getting late and jimin answered tae’s phone when i called him and said you weren’t with him and sounded pissed what the hell happened????? why is jimin over at tae’s??? 10.51pm

Seokjin<3 Yoongi can you reply to Hoseok? He’s really worried for you right now—we all are. Where are you? 11.06pm

Joon Dude where are u seriously we’re all really worried can you just please let us know you’re ok 11.23pm

you have (1) missed call from Seokjin<3 11.29pm

you have (1) missed call from Joon 12.34am

you have (3) missed calls from hobi 1.12am

“Hello?”

“Yoongi? Yoongi? Oh my god, are you fucking serious? It’s 2.30AM, where are you? I’m—” Hoseok’s voice comes down the line, shrilly with panic and relief.

“S—seok-ah.”

“Hyung? Are you crying?”

“I don’t know. My face hurts. My heart hurts, Seok. Why does my heart hurt?”

“Oh my god—Jin hyung he called me! I’m talking to him now; he’s so drunk I can barely understand him. Yoongi—Yoongi can you hear me?” There’s a rustling in the background in the background, a slamming of a door.

“Yeah.”

“Where are you? We’re coming to get you. Stay on the line with me, alright? You’re going to be okay.”

“I’m… at the pub near that convenience store Joon threw up in front of. I’m in the toilets.”

“Okay, stay there. We’re coming to get you. Stay on the line with me. Why does your heart hurt, hyung?”

“Seok-ah, I fucked up. I really, really fucked up.”

“Why?” Hoseok’s voice is uncharacteristically soft, so soft that Yoongi’s heart hurts even more.

“I didn’t realize, Hoseok. I d—didn’t realize that Taehyung was the best—best thing I had.”

“Oh, Yoongi.”

“Now I’ve gone and fucked it up like I fuck everything up and he’s g—gone. He’s leaving me and I can’t stop him and everything just fucking hurts so, so much and I wish Tae was—was here with me.”

Yoongi coughs then, so hard he sees black spots and his head throbs. It hurts, but it doesn’t hurt as much as his heart is aching and maybe that’s a good thing.

“Yoongi, hold on okay? I’m right here—”

When Yoongi comes to, he’s in his own bedroom with the sleek white blinds and a floor he can actually see, instead of hideous green curtains and a messy floor covered in clothes and books.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

When Yoongi comes to, the voice that greets him is cheerful and bright and completely different to the low, smooth baritone he’s grown to associate with stupid sweet-talking and ballad singing.

When Yoongi comes to, the first face he sees is Hoseok’s, peering into his own from a safe distance, instead of Taehyung’s face pushing right into his own, way too fucking close for comfort.

He hates it. He fucking hates it.

His tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth and his head feels like there’s a fucking drummer inside, pounding away at the temples of Yoongi’s skull. He groans sluggishly, raising his hand to press it against his head.

“Morning? More like afternoon.” Seokjin’s dry comment comes from somewhere to the left of Yoongi. “Here, Yoongi. I got you some water.”

Yoongi forces himself to sit up, reaching out blindly for the glass of water that materializes magically in his grip. He chugs it down gratefully. Seokjin, Hoseok, and Namjoon watch him apprehensively.

“What?” He doesn’t mean to snap, he really doesn’t.

The three of them jump and avert their gazes quickly, looking embarrassed.

“Uh, so what are your plans tonight?” Namjoon asks awkwardly, swinging his arms back and forth. Seokjin and Hoseok glare at him.

“Sleep.”

“Oh. Okay. We’re gonna go out for dinner, we might be home late. Do you want us to bring you anything?”

“No.”

“Okay, well. See you later?”

“Yeah.”

Yoongi watches them leave, filing out one after the other silently. Then he burrows himself back into bed. Contrary to his words (and this throbbing headache), he doesn’t sleep.

Instead he watches the numbers on his clock flick forward slowly, and as the sun begins to bleed through his blinds, bathing his room in a warm orange, he can’t help but wish the numbers moved backwards instead.

And as the seconds, minutes, hours, days begin to blur together, Yoongi just exists. Doesn’t move forward, doesn’t move backward.

There’s a cavity in his chest, a black hole that gets filled temporarily with alcohol every single night.

Yoongi Tae? 5.12am

Seen: 5.34am

(“Aren’t you worried for Yoongi, hyung? I heard him crying in his room last night. He nearly made me cry, too. It’s so painful listening to him cry.”

“Of course I am, Seok. But what are we going to do?”

“He’s like a living zombie.”

“Joon-ah, you think that’s bad? Imagine living with him. The only reason I know he hasn’t died in his room is because there are plates piling up in our sink and the entire place reeks of alcohol all the time.”

“Shouldn’t we at least tell him that…?”

“I don’t know about you, but I kind of like having my head attached onto my shoulders, thanks.”

“Quit it, both of you. Seriously, what are we going to do? And tomorrow night is…”

“Fuck. I forgot about that.”

“Yoongi hyung doesn’t know, does he?”

“How could he, Joonie?”

“Hoseok, let’s just leave it for now. You don’t slap a Band-Aid over a broken heart and call it a day.”

“Poor hyung…”

“Let’s just try to take his mind off it for now. It’s the least we can do.”)

Yoongi’s sitting on the sofa watching a variety program when he hears Hoseok key in the password, the door clicking open shortly after.

When Hoseok catches sight of Yoongi sitting on the sofa, his eyes widen and he looks distinctly like a deer caught in the headlights. Yoongi mutes the TV, watches the people on the screen scream with laughter for a second before his eyes flick to Hoseok.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were out.”

“Yeah, I—” Hoseok stops himself, toeing off his shoes and padding into the living room. “I didn’t think you’d be awake, it’s pretty late.”

Yoongi watches as Hoseok trudges into the kitchen. He can hear the fridge opening and closing and the sound of running water before Hoseok emerges from the kitchen, carrying a large glass of water. He looks nervous, almost.

“I’m going to go to sleep now, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Where did you go?”

The question is simple, but the way Hoseok freezes midstep makes Yoongi sit up, wary.

“I…” Hoseok sighs, turning around. His grip tightens around the glass of water. “I went for dinner.”

“With Joon and Seokjin?”

“Yeah… and Jeongguk, Jimin, and Taehyung.”

Yoongi can feel himself stiffening at Taehyung’s name. It hurts, seeing the six of them meet up without him, but when half the group wants to land a nicely aimed kick at his family jewels, there’s not really much he can do, he supposes. He clears this throat several times.

“Oh.” Yoongi tries hard to sound casual, but there’s a forced air of nonchalance to his words. “Just a get-together?”

“Taehyung’s going-away dinner. He’s leaving on Friday.” Hoseok’s voice is sympathetic and a little pitying and Yoongi wants to scream at him, wants to tell him he’s okay. Because he is. He really, really is.

“Friday?” Yoongi frowns. “It’s Thursday.”

“He’s leaving tomorrow, Yoongi.”

Hold up.

“Tomorrow?” Yoongi’s standing up and he kind of wants to give himself a moment to applaud himself because he feels like the world is spinning yet somehow he’s still standing upright and that in itself deserve an applause, doesn’t it?

“Yeah. Um—” Hoseok fidgets nervously. “I was meant to give this to you after Taehyung left, but—”

“What? What is it?” Yoongi’s not sure how but one minute he’s standing up in front of the sofa and the next he’s aggressively close to Hoseok’s face and alarmingly close to shaking his lapels.

“Here.”

It’s a nondescript, black USB that looks like the million of others Yoongi has. When Yoongi looks back up at Hoseok for clues he just smiles softly at pats Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Do me a favour and have a look at it now, yeah? I’m rooting for you hyung, we all are.”

Hoseok turns and walks into his room, leaving Yoongi alone in the corridor. Quickly, Yoongi hurries into his room, sitting on his bed and shoving the USB into the port of his laptop, drumming his fingers impatiently as he waits for the USB’s drive to pop up on his screen.

When he’s finally able to click on it, there are two audio files on the disk. One labelled, LISTEN TO THIS FIRST and the other Hold_Me_Tight.mp3. Yoongi can’t help the soft snort that falls from his lips as he clicks on LISTEN TO THIS FIRST, before adding Hold_Me_Tight.mp3 to the queue.

He closes his eyes.

“Okay. So. I don’t know how to start this,” A familiar, warm voice bleeds into his earphones, accompanied by a small, awkward giggle and Yoongi doesn’t realize how much he’s missed this voice until he’s hearing it now. “Do I say hello? Or start this off as a letter and say dear Yoongi? No, a letter is so cheesy. Okay, so… hi Yoongi. It’s me, Taehyungie. It’s… Tuesday. 9.12pm, right now.”

Two days ago, Yoongi realizes with a jerk.

“Anyways, so. Um. Remember that first night we met? When I kidnapped you and you probably thought I was batshit crazy? That was a great night, wasn’t it? I mean, not for you. But for me, it was. Even when you were knocked out, you looked so angry and fired up, but at the same time you were so small and defenceless and there was just… just this part of me that wanted to protect you, y’know?”

The corner of Yoongi’s mouth twitches. He bites his lip.

“I mean, it sounds crazy for me to say that it was a great night, but it was. It really was. I just think about—about how… lucky I was. That I looked at you and thought to myself, ‘ah. That’s the one. The one I’m going to kidnap’. Imagine if it wasn’t you? We would’ve never met and I—I don’t even want to think about that.”

“Because you’ve—you’ve become such a big part of my life, Yoongi. You’ve taught and continue to teach me so many things and you act like you don’t care when I can see how much you do and you—you just make me so happy I just don’t know how to explain it. When I’m having a bad day, or when I’m stressed because of my major, I just think about seeing you at the end of the day and it just… lifts my mood up again.”

There’s something wet on Yoongi’s cheeks but he makes no move to wipe them away, his fingers tightening around the sides of his laptop so hard he’s worried it’ll break. Taehyung exhales softly, and when he speaks again, there’s a shy, hesitant tone to his voice and Yoongi’s heart aches and aches and aches.

“Remember that night back at Jimin’s party? When you woke up the next morning and we were in the bed together? You asked me if I remembered the night before and I said no, but I—I lied. I remember everything, Yoongi. I mean I was drunk, but how can I forget the night when you told me that I was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen? How can I forget the night when you told me that you didn’t fuck friends but fucked me like—like I was the only person you could see?” Taehyung exhales roughly and Yoongi can almost imagine the small frown, the way he’ll brush his bangs forward when he gets like this.

“For my major, I wanted to make something meaningful. Since I was writing and producing songs, I wanted to write things that came from my heart, not just something that sounded nice. You know that I have to produce five songs on my own, right? Well one of these songs, I agonized over more than any song. Love—love is hard to capture properly in a song, I think. It’s an emotion that’s hard to pinpoint and hard to say where it starts and where it ends because it’s so fleeting and unpredictable.”

“What—what I’m trying to say is that I—I love you, Yoongi. So much. I think that night at Jimin’s, I began to have an inkling of it, but now—now I’m sure. I love you and I’m sorry. I know I never took things seriously and it annoyed you, especially with the scholarship, but. I just wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I know I’m doing a cowardly thing because I’m not saying these things to your face, but I’m—I’m not good with these things. So, I’m sorry. And… I hope you like this song and play it lots and think of me when you do.”

Yoongi hardly dares to breathe and for a moment there’s silence.

Then a soft, piano instrumental begins to play and Yoongi is absolutely taken. A soft voice begins to sing, a voice that sounds like liquid gold and dark chocolate and Yoongi realizes with a jolt that it’s Taehyung.

I can only see you

I can only see you alone

The song hurts and tears new wounds in Yoongi’s still bleeding heart but he listens, he listens and listens and listens to the story Taehyung is trying to tell him. When the song finishes he sits there, tears dripping down his cheeks and chin but he makes no move to wipe them away.

He sits there for what could be seconds, minutes, hours, but he sits there as the song loops again and again until it hits him.

It fucking hits him and he realizes with a jolt that he’s going to make the biggest mistake of his life letting Taehyung go. And of course, that’s the most cringey, K-drama-worthy thing to say, so it’s only fitting that Yoongi leaps up from his spot, yanking the earphones out of his ears and jamming on a hoodie over his head as he hurries towards Hoseok’s door, so he can repeat it loudly to make sure Hoseok hears his cringe-worthy confession.

(A rational part of Yoongi’s brain calmly reminds him that it’s nearly 3AM but he doesn’t give a fuck—besides, when do characters in K-dramas ever give a fuck? Answer: they don’t. And therefore, by default, Yoongi doesn’t either.)

“Hoseok!” He hollers loudly into the dark room. He can just make out Hoseok startling awake.

“What the fu—Yoongi? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m fucking not okay at all,” Yoongi says excitedly, sitting on the edge of Hoseok’s bed.

Hoseok blinks sleepily at him. “Then why do you look so happy.”

“Because I just realized I’m about to make the biggest fucking mistake of my life, letting Taehyung go.” And there it is. His cringey, K-drama confession. Uttered out loud to someone who’ll probably never let him forget.

“Uh—”

“I love Taehyung, Seok-ah. I love him! How fucking crazy is that?”

Yoongi doesn’t wait for Hoseok to reply. “Anyways. I gotta go. I have to go tell Taehyung that I love him. There’s so much adrenaline in me it’s crazy. I’d say sorry for waking you up, but I’m not. So. Cya!”

Yoongi registers Hoseok muttering something in reply, something like wait until Seokjin hyung and Namjoon hear about this, but he’s way too keyed up to give a fuck about anything.

Time to tell Taehyung he loves him.

As Einstein would say, it’s show time.

There’s a strange sense of déjà vu that washes over Yoongi as he walks along the familiar street at 3AM on a blessed Thursday night (Friday morning?). He’s done this before.

A year ago, he had been walking along this very same street at the very same time on a very blessed Thursday night when he had been fucking kidnapped and now he’s going down the very same street to tell the very same kidnapper that he fucking loves him.

The universe must be laughing itself stupid right now.

As he’s walking past the convenience store, someone comes out of the store staring down at their phone dressed in a weird, cut-up white sweater, and Yoongi realizes with a jolt that it’s fucking Taehyung. Taehyung.

(Like hello? K-drama, anyone?)

He’s not sure what spurs him on. Maybe it’s the adrenaline running through his veins, keeping him awake and #woke at 3AM, a time when he’s usually fast asleep. Maybe it’s the fear of Taehyung moving away 148 miles to Daegu and leaving him alone in Seoul with Namjoon and Seokjin. There’s a lot of maybe’s and perhap’s.

But he’s not really sure why he sees Taehyung, spots an empty soju bottle lying innocently on the floor, and doesn’t think twice before scooping the bottle, charging towards Taehyung with a loud battle cry and smashing the bottle over Taehyung’s head.

Taehyung crumples and falls to the floor like a fucking rag-doll and Yoongi is left standing over him with a shattered soju bottle in one hand and another hand clamped firmly over his mouth in shock.

There’s a lot of questions racing through Yoongi’s mind—why the fuck did he do that? Is he fucking insane? What the fuck? Is Taehyung okay? —but a bigger question overshadows the rest of them and Yoongi’s really fucking worried.

How the fuck is he going to carry Taehyung all the way back to his apartment?

Fuck.

Somehow, Yoongi’s weak, flimsy noodle arms do manage to drag Taehyung back all the way to his apartment and he spends a better portion of his time fretting over what to do before he calms down and makes sure that there’s no shattered glass on Taehyung (god that was a really fucking stupid move. At least number three on his Never Do This Again List).

He lays Taehyung carefully across his sofa and frets some more, covering him with a blanket before drawing those hideous green curtains shut. When he’s fretted in front of Taehyung enough, he upgrades to worrying in front of Taehyung, pacing back and forth in front of him, sticking a wet finger under Taehyung’s nose every so often to make sure he hasn’t died on him.

God, now he can see why Taehyung looked so fucking scared.

Min Yoongi, at the ripe age of twenty-three, has upgraded from: Min Yoongi, mathematical economics major, retired party animal and lover of bubble tea to Min Yoongi: kidnapper.

He and Taehyung really do fit like two peas in a pod.

Taehyung stirs, startling Yoongi who hurries back to his position right in front of Taehyung, clutching onto Taehyung’s hand tightly. When Taehyung slowly blinks at him, Yoongi feels like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

“Hi.”

Not the smoothest line Yoongi could’ve come up with, but he supposes there are worse things he could’ve said.

“Yoongi?” Taehyung’s eyes are wide with surprise and his voice full of shock, but he is taking it surprisingly well for someone who’s just been knocked out and dragged back to their home.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit. Was—was that you back at the convenience store—”

“Listen. It was an accident. You kidnapping me must’ve traumatized me more than I realized.”

Taehyung blinks at him.  Yoongi stares back at him.

“Why are you here, Yoongi?”

Yoongi crumples a little. “I…”

“You should go.”

“No!” Yoongi bursts out, his voice coming out louder than anticipated. “I mean… I just wanted to say I listened to your song.”

Taehyung flushes and pulls his hand out of Yoongi’s grip as he struggles to sit up, wincing. Yoongi purses his lip. That didn’t sting one little bit. Nope.

“What?”

“Yeah, and what—what you said.”

Taehyung sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Hoseok hyung promised he’d show that to you after I had left.”

“Don’t go, Taehyung.”

Taehyung scoffs at that and Yoongi can see his expression slowly hardening. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t.”

“Because—because I love you.”

Taehyung swallows. “What?”

“I love you, Taehyung. I—I’ve always had feelings for you and that was why I really couldn’t cope with the fact that you were leaving. And then your—your song. I listened to every single word, over and over because I know you’re not good with words. If you mean what you said in your song—and I know that you do—I can’t, I won’t let you go.”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, before taking a step towards Taehyung. “Taehyung, I—I know I’m not good at showing emotion. But I—I’m so, so sorry for saying those things to you. I wanted us to be something, Tae. So bad. But when you said you were leaving that scared me because I just couldn’t imagine how I would—would be without you. How much I would miss all those little things about you, like the way you stutter when you get nervous, or the way you cut yourself off mid-sentence because you think you’re rambling.”

“You hate those things about you, but you don’t understand that I like it when you ramble, or when you stutter. You’re intelligent and funny and witty and just… you’re fucking perfect to me. God, Taehyung, you’re so fucking perfect and—and what I’m trying to say is, please. Please don’t leave me. I love you and I want to be with you and I know that’s fucking selfish of me but—”

“Yoongi?”

Yoongi doesn’t realize he’s breathing heavily until he stops, chest heaving like he’s won a marathon.

(And maybe, just maybe, he has.)

“Yeah?”

“You’re rambling.”

“Oh.”

“And I’m not leaving.”

“I—what?”

Taehyung smiles a little, looking away as red starts to creep up his neck and across his cheeks. “I rejected the scholarship. I’m just going down to Daegu to visit my family for a week.”

“Okay, don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking ecstatic, but why? You said you’d be fucking stupid not to take the scholarship.”

Taehyung laughs at that and it’s beautiful, so fucking beautiful. He reaches out for Taehyung who complies immediately, and Yoongi feels like he’s melting in Taehyung’s warm embrace. His heart hurts, it fucking hurts so much, but it hurts in the best kind of way because Yoongi fucking feels so alive and warm in the heat and comfort of Taehyung’s embrace.

He’s not sure who initiates it, but they’re kissing and Yoongi’s eyes are fluttering shut because nothing else matters when Taehyung’s mouth is on his own, warm and reassuring and moving softly against his. The world seems to halt for them as Taehyung opens his mouth for Yoongi, as Yoongi’s hands reach up to firmly cup the back of Taehyung’s neck, as Yoongi pulls away, only to pull Taehyung again towards him to drown in his heat.

When they finally break apart, Yoongi burrows his head into Taehyung’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut and heart racing painfully in his chest. Yoongi leans back to look at Taehyung who smiles softly, raising a hand to brush the back of his fingers against his cheek.

“Well yeah, I am stupid. Stupid for you.”

Min Yoongi, at the ripe age of twenty-three, can safely say that his life is 60% K-drama and 40% porno. But he doesn’t really give a fuck, not when Taehyung smiles down at him softly and leans down to kiss him with a promise of tomorrow.

[taemdeok]

getting to know shinee world

tagged by @taembear​ ♡ 

01: How did you get into SHINee? i watched the Ring Ding Dong music video and i became a fan

02: Your favorite member in SHINee is? ♡ ♡ ♡ taemin ♡ ♡ ♡

03: Bias wrecker anyone? jonghyun......... since like... 2011...

04: Your favorite SHINee OTP (if you have one) jongtae ♡

05: Is there a SHINee ship you don’t like? i don’t like the way certain pairings are shipped

06: The SHINee member you think is most easily shipped back in the old days there were definitely ~pairings~ that intl fandom ignored ((jongyu, onho, jongtae, minkey)) but i think SHINee are such a close family and over time ppl can no longer deny their closeness and they’re all easily shipped now 

07: Your favorite Korean song by SHINee if i start listing my faves i end up listing every song they ever made but to make it easier on my self, my ultimate fave song (of all time, not just SHINee) is still Symptoms

08: Your favorite Japanese song by SHINee Dazzling Girl (and Picasso, DxDxD, Downtown Baby, Boys Meet U, Kimo no Seide....)

09: Favorite album fave full: 1of1 fave mini: Everybody fave jpn album: I’m Your Boy

10: Your favorite live performance 131013 Symptoms performance @ Inkigayo.... and their entire set at Spectrum 2016

11: First SHINee MV you saw Ring Ding Dong

12: Your first impression of SHINee i thought the Ring Ding Dong mv was cool because it was kinda ~dark~ and i liked that kind of aesthetic, the song was catchy af, key’s hair was emo af, i thought minho was beautiful, i thought taemin was 11 and didn’t understand why he was drinking milk, i got taemin and jinki mixed up, i thought jonghyun was the leader, i thought the ending when their wings come out and they’re sitting dramatically was super awesome

13: Is there a SHINee member that recently impressed you? key!!! i havn’t seen his musical in over a year and to be able to see him again i just ;~~; he really has a talent for musical acting.... and In The Heights is so good for showcasing his rapping tbh his flow is sooo smooth 

14: The SHINee member you think has changed the most over the years honestly all of them have ~changed~ though in a lot of ways many of the changes are more so them breaking down their image and expressing themselves how they want to... they’ve all grown so much so it’s hard for me to single out one particular member

15: The SHINee member you think has changed the least like the above question... they’ve all gone through a lot of growth and changes over the years there isn’t really one person i can single out

16: Your favorite SHINee MV Married to the Music... by far is my ultimate aesthetic i always wanted SHINee to do a campy horror concept and finally got my wish ;uuuuu;

17: Your favorite SHINee lyric “Baby don’t cry I’m by your side I’m sending you my voice, baby my love love love So you can try Dry your tears You’re not alone any longer” (english trans of I’m With You... dunno how accurate it is though)

18: The SHINee member you think has the best face SHINee are all the most beautiful men in the entire world to me though???!?!??!

19: The SHINee member you think has the best body i don’t like to compare their bodies really cus they’re all beautiful the way they are....

20: The SHINee member you think has the best personality i wouldn’t be a shawol if i didn’t genuinely love all of the members.... but i’m gonna say taemin just cus he’s the only introvert and i am also an introvert and i’m also disgustingly in love with him lmAO 

21: A SHINee picture that makes you smile

22: A SHINee picture that makes you nostalgic

23: Your favorite quote by someone in SHINee anything Jonghyun says on Blue Night about being depressed and lonely tbh... whether he’s trying to remove stigma or trying to make ppl understand what it’s like.. it makes me sad that i can relate to his pain but it also means a lot to me that someone i admire understands how i feel

24: A picture of your bias with someone else you like in another group

25: Have you seen SHINee live? i’ve seen them so many times i lost count ;nnn;

26: Do you have a favorite variety show moment? i love every single moment of Hello Baby and One Fine Day.... evERY MOMENT I WANNA WATCH THEM ALL AGAIN

27: How would you describe SHINee in three words? life, love, happiness

28: Which SHINee video would you show to someone who has never heard of them before? i’d probably show them the recent Weekly Idol ep, and a tonne of performance vids

29. Is there a memory in connection to SHINee that you will always treasure?  i really enjoy the more personal memories like fanmeets, fansigns, hightouches, music show recordings... those memories are so intimate and only shared with a few ppl (sometimes just between SHINee and myself) and so i will always treasure them cus for most of those memories there are no fancams... only the fanaccounts that myself and others who were there have written.....

30: If you could tell SHINee anything you wanted…what would that be? for the most part i’ve been really lucky and have been to fansigns and told them most of the things i really wanted to say, but obviously there are a lot of things i can’t express in Korean that i probably will never be able to express to them... more than telling them.. i wish i could show them how they make me feel and how the positive feelings they have given me has helped save my life many times

tagging: @shineelove5 @shineecstasy @missezri @jjong-n-cheese @taemiracle