#- too much of the not-as-sincere clownery can build up the big emotions and then like it'll just combust!

[kursed-curtain]

🫂💕💕

Alleyway Confessionals, a Three Adventurers fanfic

Because sometimes you need to vent in the form of using characters to do as such. Which I did.

Tada.

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Link walked past the endless crowd until he found himself in a quiet alleyway. With all the festivities that were happening in the town center, he would have been more surprised to find anyone here continuing the celebration, to continue the rowdy cheers and chatter.

Instead, he found no one except one person.

The one person he was looking high and low for.

Sitting on a crate that was up against the wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed was Guybrush, the subject of his search, appearing to look like he was taking a casual nap to the unfamiliar. But Link knew better. Having travelled for so long with the pirate, he knew entirely well that Guybrush right now was anything but napping.

Link knew that right now, in this instance, Guybrush was trying to keep whatever intense emotion in-check.

His own brows furrowed at the sight of the pirate and he balled his hands to a fist as he took a few quick steps closer. He knew Guybrush was awake, knew Link was here, but he was opting to keep his eyes shut. And Link simply wasn��t going to have that.

Not after what just happened.

“Guybrush.” He said.

“What now?” Guybrush muttered, eyes still shut.

“For starters, you could give me the simplest courtesy of looking at me.” Link crossed his arms.

Guybrush contemplated, exhaled and opened his eyes mid-roll, and stared back at the Hylian. That normally warm, if not mischievous, look of his was replaced entirely with something cold. Something akin to annoyance and another thing that Link, at the moment, could not simply say with absolute certainty.

What he could say, with absolute certainty, was Guybrush was trying his patience with all of this.

“The hell was that?” Link asked.

“I’m loo–”

“Don’t.” He stopped him. “Don’t be smart with me, Guybrush. You know entirely well what I’m referring to.”

Guybrush stared at him and momentarily looked away, his brows furrowing with clear annoyance. 

“What’s there to say?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out after Graham received the wrong end of the sword from you.” Link said. 

“It’s a foam bat–”

“That doesn’t change how you absolutely thrashed him the first two rounds and then, randomly, threw it in the last where suddenly you didn’t have either of your hands before storming off.”

“Excellent recap, still missing that something in your story telling but hey, what do I know, right? You said it yourself to stop being smart and considering I’m just the bumbling idiot of the group I’m lucky to say even one coherent sentence.” Guybrush snarked before hopping off the crate. 

“Hey, where are you going? We’re not done here!” Link called out.

“Hiding myself so I don’t make either of you look stupid.” Guybrush waved. “Or maybe off to destroy something because I’m super clumsy, who knows.”

It was Link’s turn to stare in annoyance. He could feel his eye just barely twitching but his anger outweighed his irritation as he sprinted and blocked Guybrush from walking away, shoving the pirate with all his might and forcing Guybrush to stumble back in confusion.

“What the–”

“No!” Link shouted. “I don’t know what has gotten into you, but you are not normally such a bitter cynical jerk!”

“On a good day.”

“Guybrush, for fu–” Link snapped but he stopped himself, taking in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He was angry. Infuriated, even. But he was equally stubborn and determined. Opening his eyes again, he glared at Guybrush. “I’m gonna ask you something, and I am begging you to be serious with me instead of being like this. Can you do that? Please?”

“Do I have a choice?” Guybrush crossed his arms.

“The other choice is I beat the ever loving crap out of you until you tell me what’s wrong and you and I both know that when it comes to sword fighting or hand to hand combat, between myself and Graham, I can absolutely whoop you. And that is not an empty threat and you know that.”

Guybrush scoffed, but Link knew that the pirate agreed. The two would spar from time to time when there was a feeling of annoyance or frustration with Graham acting, usually, as a referee to stop the two before it went too far.

He shifted his weight and stared at Link. The chill was gone, but the anger was not.

“Shoot.”

“Punch or words?”

“And you say that I’m being smart.” Guybrush rolled his eyes. “Words.”

Link bit back a scoff of his own and placed his hands on his hips. “Are you stressed because of the festivities that you’re acting out like this?”

“No.” Guybrush looked at the crowd outside the alleyway, his lips tight but he eventually shook his head. “No. Not entirely.”

“Okay. Did Graham do anything to make you mad?”

At that, Guybrush looked at him confused. “Graham?”

“Yes? Considering the poor guy got the absolute beating of his life at your hand.” Link gestured towards the crowd. 

The confusion went back to annoyance. “He won though.”

“You threw that match.”

“At the end of the day, what really matters is that I get to be the performative moron to the amusement of everyone around and making sure others look better. Because even the mere idea that, hey, I might actually be good at something can only and exclusively be chalked up to dumb luck.”

“Who ever said that?” 

Guybrush pointed to the town, his expression not waning in the slightest. “The masses. And they said it very clearly when I was winning.”

“No… did they?” Link blinked, trying to recall when he winced. 

They did. And very loudly at that.

Link was too focused on the two of them, wanting to cheer for both of his best friends equally when he saw something in Guybrush shift for the worst. That playful expression that could potentially double as cocky evolved into a frown and the grip he had on his make-shift sword got tighter if the whites on his knuckles were anything indicative. He watched as Guybrush lunged and in three strong swings managed to knock Graham harshly to the floor and send his weapon flying.

But the archer pushed through that pain, shaking his head and laughing nervously as he gripped his weapon again, ready for round two, but the second the bell struck, Guybrush bolted towards Graham who could barely deflect his strikes. Link could faintly make out what Graham was saying through the shouts and cheers, but he knew it was Graham asking Guybrush to ease up… that he isn’t as skilled at the sword as the other two blonds were. But it fell on deaf ears as Guybrush pulled Link’s signature spin and knocked Graham flat once more.

He shouted for Guybrush to stop, to try and reel him back. Maybe he was trapped in a memory, maybe the crowd shouting while he was in the center was reminding him of his time trapped… whatever it was, something was going on and Graham was tragically taking the brunt while Link could only stand in horror, as no matter how much he tried to push himself to the front, to rush the stage, the people kept shoving him back and blocking his way.

Blocking him as they continued to roar and shout how Graham needed to get up, slam the dirty pirate. He only won those two rounds because he cheated. Because dumb-luck was on his side.

Because Graham is a knight, and he is kind and good hearted and brave.

Because Guybrush is nothing but a smelly, good for nothing, chaos bringing, pirate.

Link saw something in Guybrush break as his grip on his sword lessened significantly. The bell rang, and in two hits, Guybrush fell down and his sword clattered. 

Technically, Guybrush won two out of the three rounds… he should be the victor. But the crowd cheered Graham and the host dubbed him the victor of the challenge while the audience booed the loser that was Guybrush. 

Link watched Guybrush stand up, give a faux bow with that cynical smirk instead of his warm one, and turned to leave the stage, his expression dark and unkind as he beelined to the alleyway.

He heard Graham shouting Guybrush’s name, trying to push past the crowd to reach him, wanting to talk, yet the sea wouldn’t permit. But Link had had enough, shouldering roughly the people as he went to the stage, gripped Graham’s wrist and pulled him somewhere else, somewhere quieter. 

Link didn’t need to ask what was wrong if the prickle of tears in the corner of Graham’s eyes was any indicator. Especially so when Graham looked at him and asked– begged, rather, that Link go to Guybrush first as he tries to think what he did to anger the pirate.

“You didn’t do anything.” Link answered. “You know that.”

“Maybe, yeah… but he’s hurt.” Graham wiped his eye with his arm.

“So are you. And you’re better at talking… the both of you are.”

“Yeah. But I don’t think he wants to see me at the moment. Link, please? I’ll be fine, I just…” Graham looked at him. “Please?”

Link sighed and nodded. “Fine. Don’t move though, alright?”

“My ribs wouldn’t want me moving either.” He scoffed.

The Hylian winced… Guybrush very clearly didn’t hold back those two rounds. With a pat on Graham’s shoulder, he ran towards the alleyway where he saw Guybrush headed for.

Which brought him back to the initial point: the people, rather loudly, said how they felt about him. And it was far from kind or understanding.

“Guybrush–” Link frowned.

“No no! Please! Don’t mend my ego. After all, a clown can always heal with time.” Guybrush laughed. “And I’m just the star example of one, right? Always bouncing back from the mockery or a ridicule or an insult… it’s my specialty. Everyone always says that if they’re not pointing out every single flaw.”

“It is, but that doesn’t make you a clown, it means you’re resilient.” He countered. “And why are you letting a bunch of no names dictate who you are?”

“Because everyone said it for so long and, really nobody cares or wants to hear my words or thoughts.” He scoffed.

“Uh, hi and screw you?” Link glared. “That’s actually extremely insulting considering I’m here for you. I was sent on this entire quest to find you. And I’m here now to hear what’s troubling you because I’m worried about you. Graham and I are both worried about you.”

Guybrush briefly looked away.

“They can say whatever but Graham and I never agreed with them. Ever. And you know that.”

“Two–

“Four.” He corrected. “Graham, me, Winslow, and Elaine.”

He stared at the sky, flipping back and forth internally between wanting to concede and fight. 

“Alright. Four people against an entire town in just one place out of many is hardly a convincing argument.” Guybrush huffed.

“Since when did you care so much about what others think?” Link shifted his argument, realizing that trying to repeat himself that Guybrush’s view of himself was wrong was clearly a ‘one ear out the other’ conversation. “Up until now you had never let what anyone said get to you, or at least get to you like this. And I refuse to drop this until I, at the very least, can understand this mood switch.”

“It’s a front, Link!” Guybrush shouted. “The truth of the matter is, all of this? That whole laughing things off and pretending nothing anyone says is getting to me? It’s just one giant front because the alternative hurts way more! I’d rather people think nothing gets to me and I shrug things off and don’t have a care in the world instead of knowing that it is in-freaking-furiating to hear what they all say about me day in and day out. And I’ve had to hear it all since day one!”

Link stood still as Guybrush paced slightly, opening and closing his hands as his breath got heavy.

“And you want to know the kicker? I kinda believe it because if everyone has been saying then it has to be true, right? Everyone is coming to the same conclusion, it has to be true, right? I mean, heh, I already believe what they all said, but hearing it outloud is so unbelievably painful.” Guybrush laughed bitterly. 

“What of me then?” Link asked. “You know just as well as I do that I have the same problem… of the masses saying one thing and me believing– wanting to believe in something else. You told me, repeatedly I should add, that it doesn’t matter what others think. It’s my actions at the end of the day and what I choose to do.”

Guybrush shook his head. “The difference is what I said doesn’t match who I am. Not a single thing about the actual me either of you have seen. You really believe I got everything together? I don’t. I still panic and stumble and honestly, I’m even shocked that even four of you still think I got it together. The people clocked it in–”

“Will you stop that already?!” Link snapped, startling the pirate as he jabbed a harsh finger into his chest. “THAT’S the front! This whole ‘I’m a clown’ and stuff is the front because, hey, this might come off as a shocker, but I know you pretty freaking well by now as does Graham! Who, by the way, insisted I come and help you because he knew you were hurt! And before you even so much as quip about how only one person cares, know that I would’ve come no matter what because that’s what friends do, you absolute jackass!”

Guybrush opened his mouth but closed it again, his jaw clenching tightly as he looked away. 

But it was Link who snapped his fingers forcing the pirate to look at him once more, fury burning brightly in his eyes.

“I mean it when I say we actually care and we’re friends. Hell, I still think we’re friends irregardless of all this emo nonsense you’re throwing at me. You’re upset? Fine, be upset! But you have four shoulders to lean on to help you get back up because you, Guybrush, are freaking resilient.” Link stepped closer, shoving a stronger jab of his finger to Guybrush who found himself stumbling backwards until his back hit a wall. 

“We want to help because we care, irregardless of what those guys or that infuriating voice in your head said. You want to believe it? Go ahead. But believe me when I say you’re a lot stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for, and no matter what you do or say, it’s not going to shake either me or Graham off from being here for you. So stop it with this lone wolf crap and let us help you!”

Link panted, looking away for a moment and trying to compose himself as Guybrush stood there dumbfounded, taking in those words and blinking in confusion.

“Wow.” Guybrush managed to mutter. “I don’t think anyone has told me off like that in years… or ever, really.”

“...Elaine didn’t?”

“Once… but not with that level of intensity that you just had.”

The two fell quiet again and both of them let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you curse out that much.” Guybrush said, a small smile on his face. “It’s kinda startling.”

“I don’t think I ever did until I met you.” Link admitted, also having a small smile but looking at the pirate. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m… still upset, I think.” He answered, looking around as if to pin the feeling. “I… I don’t know, really. But I know I feel really bad now for what I did to the both of you. Especially Graham.”

Link nodded. “Like I said, you can be upset. I’m not going to fault you and neither will Graham. But I do think you owe Graham an apology for beating the hell out of him.”

“Yeah… yeah I do.” He sighed, pushing himself off the wall and rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to but… still.”

“What happened?” Link asked, seeing Guybrush having slowly come back to his senses. “One minute you two were joking about competing against one another and the next you went off.”

Guybrush frowned and placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head slightly. “I… it’s like I said. The people and their words, it just… it got to me. And maybe it was lingering thoughts of Big Whoop or something else, but hearing repeatedly how I’m basically beneath people, and that I deserve the ridicule and the mockery and being compared to you and Graham… it got to me. Not an excuse, I know, but…”

“No, it makes sense.” Link conceded. “You’re not really one to take center stage and get attention. Even though the whole Mighty Pirate thing would say otherwise.”

“Forgot the trademark.”

“My curse.”

The two chuckled again and sighed. Link looked at Guybrush, seeing the upset expression still on his face and tapped his finger in thought before sighing once again.

“I know we’re both not um… physical types but…” Link sheepishly smirked and opened his arms, “need a hug?”

Guybrush stared, let out a laugh and shook his head. He walked over and the two hugged one another for a while before both of them broke out of it.

“Let's go meet up with Graham.” Link said.

“Think he’s going to hug or whack me with the foam bat as retribution?”

“Well, I’m not sure the order, but probably both. Either way, we’ll figure that out when we get there.”

“Heh. Fair.”