#- know what possessed him to change his gender. but he did.'' like ? okay west. very helpful. thanks for that fucking visceral image

[butchdykekondraki]

maybe the funniest thing west has ever told me about his source is that, at least in his canon, on the walls of the room where 113 was kept there was just an entire wall of shame full of photos of people who touched it for jokes. i have no idea why but it makes me howl with laughter. its so fucking good. this is canonical To Me now

[harbingham]

                   Harry took one look at the survey && rolled his eyes. What a waste of fucking time. As if they were all going to BOND because a survey supposedly confirmed they could be  f r i e n d s  . Or at the very least good roommates ?? Whatever. Harry quickly wrote his name, crossing out the rest of the questions with EASE. Besides, they knew who he was already.

          Instead, cursive letters inked the paper — If you put me with someone annoying, I’ll make sure the trip is absolute hell. Ending the sentence with a thick period, annoyance festering as it usually did with life’s POINTLESS trifles.

                    The usual smug smirk dipped over his lips, carelessly turning the questionnaire in without a second thought.

so yeahhh, because my son is the way he is ... i filled it out for him bless up. why do i love harry bingham when i fucking hate him ?? idk fam, idk.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Harold Theodore Bingham PRONUNCIATION: H EH - r uh l d   th EE - uh - d aw r    b IH  ng-uh m   MEANING: estate ruler  /  army leader  REASONING: Harold was his great-grandfather’s name, while Theodore is is father’s name that’s been passed down for quite a while as either a first/middle kinda deal NICKNAME(S): Harry, Har ( though he doesn't like it  ) Bingham, Pretty Boy PREFERRED NAME(S): Harry, just Harry unless you want a punch or a mean remark bless BIRTH DATE: April 13th, 2001 AGE: 18 ZODIAC: Aries !! GENDER: Male PRONOUNS: He/Him ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual NATIONALITY: American ETHNICITY: wonder bread

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: West Ham, CT HOMETOWN: West Ham, CT SOCIAL CLASS: Upper/Close to the 1% FATHER: Theodore Bingham † MOTHER: Karen Bingham SIBLING(S): Stacy Bingham ( 12 ) BIRTH ORDER: Harry, Stacy PET(S): In the Bingham household ?? Never. OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: He’s surrounded by family, they usually always have at least two reunions a year. However he’s never felt close to them ?? So he’d never list their names here really. He’s only somewhat close to his immediate family. Though, he was close to his nanny growing up if that counts bless PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: it’s a list of like ... relatively short lasting relationships, hookups, && one night stands, until his most recent, kelly, which is probably his longest lasting one ?? ARRESTS?: Technically, on record, none :). He’s definitely been caught like, trespassing, underage drinking, && drunk driving lbh ... but yeah, no record. i hate him. PRISON TIME?: N/A

OCCUPATION & INCOME

SOURCE OF INCOME: intern at parent’s company  /  his parents CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: he doesn’t really like it tbh, but it’s done his family well so after college he definitely plans to continue the legacy && make if flourish even more. PAST JOB(S): n/a SPENDING HABITS: *throws money in trash can* MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: the gold ring with the bingham family insignia his father gave him when he turned 13 ( made him feel like he finally belonged you feel )  though he’d tell you it’s everything he owns ... i hate him

SKILLS & ABILITIES

TALENTS: bringing people together ( or apart ), lightening the mood ( or you know, fucking it up too ), banter, racing, fixing cars SHORTCOMINGS: oh honey — saying shit he doesn’t mean, his own arrogance, addictive personality, emotional invulnerability, aloof nature, shall i continue ?? LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, French, Italian DRIVE?: Hell yeah JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: Yes, but he’d rather pay someone to do it before ever doing it himself RIDE A BICYCLE?: nope catch me crying SWIM?: Yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: Does learning the recorder in 3rd grade count ?? PLAY CHESS?: Yes BRAID HAIR?: Yes ( Stacy made him learn since he was the only one home most of the time ) TIE A TIE?: Yes, his father practically taught him that in the womb. PICK A LOCK?: nah. he’s more into the jump the fence, break some glass, make a fucking scene, kinda trespassing

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Alex Fitzalan EYE COLOR: dark brown, specks of gold in natural light HAIR COLOR: Chestnut Brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Curly && wavy, his hair texture kinda varies by each strand unless he properly styles it ... which he does when feeling okay GLASSES/CONTACTS?: No, but he definitely likes the aesthetic of glasses sometimes. Like bet money on his ivy interviews he wore glasses ... did i mention i hate harry bingham ?? DOMINANT HAND: Right HEIGHT: 5′10″ WEIGHT: 140/150ish lbs ??? BUILD: Slender Muscular EXERCISE HABITS: it’s rather irregular and depends heavily on his mood. if he’s in a good/okay mood then a few times a week. otherwise it’s hard to do much of anything, let alone work out you know. SKIN TONE: light with pink/tan undertones TATTOOS: none PIERCINGS: none MARKS/SCARS: small dark birth mark near his right, outer ankle. shoulders/back && cheeks tend to get rather freckly in the summer && he hates it. some random cuts && bruises from blacked out drunk/high escapades, the occasional hickey bye. NOTABLE FEATURES: dimples when he actually smiles, white af teeth, the hair™ USUAL EXPRESSION: either completely unamused or smirking tbh CLOTHING STYLE: designer, preppy — think polos, ironed pants, or cuffed skinny jeans, all paired with some boat shoes. sometimes when he’s not feeling so great he’ll wear a plain tee/hoodie JEWELRY: gold pinky ring ( mentioned above ), apple watch on occasion ALLERGIES: long haired cats BODY TEMPERATURE: runs hot 😏 DIET: no such thing, boy’s metabolism is fast, the lucky son of a bitch. PHYSICAL AILMENTS: N/A

PSYCHOLOGY

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral TEMPERAMENT: Choleric  /  Melancholic ELEMENT: Fire MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: Anxiety, Depression, Toxic Masculinity 👀 SOCIABILITY: Moody™, but very social. Popular™. EMOTIONAL STABILITY: um ... he tries ?? it’s not good though, nope. PHOBIA(S): autophobia ( fear of being alone ),  atychiphobia ( fear of failure ) ADDICTION(S): coffee, opiods, alcohol, etc DRUG USE: yes please ALCOHOL USE: yes please PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: if provoked yes, or if he feels the need to protect/stand against something.

MANNERISMS

QUIRKS: easily annoyed, rolls his eyes a lot, has a comeback for almost everything ( even if it’s just a fuck you ) HOBBIES: cars, racing, sailing ( learned from his dad ),  HABITS: drinking, swearing, pills, drinks coffee every morning NERVOUS TICKS: furrowed brows, pacing/unable to stand still, hand twitching, squinting eyes DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: Money, Perfectionism, doing the Bingham name justice FEARS: Being forgotten, Isolation, Losing the rest of his family/the few he cares about, Death, Fatal Illness POSITIVE TRAITS: Charming, Adventurous, Witty, Ambitious, Assertive, Protective NEGATIVE TRAITS: Moody, Enigmatic, Cocky, Prideful, Destructive, Sarcastic, Stubborn, Impatient SENSE OF HUMOR: sarcastic, dark DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: he fucking literally fucking says fuck every fucking other fucking word :D CATCHPHRASE(S): fuck you cassandra, fuck off, fuck you, fuck me, fuck that, we’re playing fugitive tonight

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: Racing  /  Sailing ANIMAL: Otters BEVERAGE: any && all alcohol™ ... or secretly strawberry hi-c don’t @ him. BOOK: never let me go by kazuo ishiguro CELEBRITY: Margot Robbie COLOR: Navy Blue && Dark Gray DESIGNER: Balenciaga && Ralph Lauren FOOD: loaded fries FLOWER: blue stars GEM: Sapphire/Diamond HOLIDAY: halloween MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: he has a lot of favorite cars, but his black maserati ( aka the fugitive car ) is probably his favorite. he also likes helicopters MOVIE: Fight Club, The Wolf on Wall Street, The Breakfast Club MUSICAL ARTIST: blackbear, Drake are two of his go-tos, though the list is long QUOTE/SAYING: “Just do it.” boy bye SCENERY: nothing like overlooking a long wooden dock into a bright blue lake surrounded by trees  SCENT: cedar, sandalwood — anything kinda woody/musky ?? bless. SPORT: golf SPORTS TEAM: his father always rooted for the yankees, so he roots for the yankees TELEVISION SHOW: Mad Men WEATHER: cloudy with just a bit of sun peaking through, bright blue sky — not too hot, not too cold. VACATION DESTINATION: anywhere near a body of water, though he’s particularly fond of lake como in italy cause there’s a bit of everything ?? mountains, the lake, beautiful architecture, etc :’)

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: living that ‘american dream’ baby GREATEST FEAR: peaking in high school, being forgotten/not wanted (yet you push people away boii water u doing ?!), being vulnerable ... again there’s a long fucking list MOST AT EASE WHEN: in a fast car, living that reckless™ lifestyle LEAST AT EASE WHEN: realizing what a dumbass he is && having to apologize for it BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: getting into brown && columbia off some actual merit && not just money wow BIGGEST REGRET: not really being there for his dad near the end bc that would mean being vulnerable && saying goodbye coming on this fucking trip MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: losing the student body president position to cassandra BIGGEST SECRET: which one you want honey ?? TOP PRIORITIES: for everything to stay the same  /  go back to the way it was  :) :( :) :(

[bongaboi]

Revons Plus Grand, Chapter 15

Revons Plus Grand

Chapter 15:

Shangri-La

The apartment room in Saint-Germain-en-Laye for Alex Hunter and his mate Danny Williams, two young footballers on loan from Manchester United and Newcastle United, was a comfy, spacious apartment that had two bedrooms with baths, a kitchen, a laundromat and a living room that included an XBox One, sofas, a table and a high definition television with every major channel in France and the world minus the adult channels. The key for those two players was to ensure that their collective focus was on training and playing for the club so that they could eventually have some minutes in the UEFA Champions League tie against FC Barcelona.

After a busy day at training on Thursday, Alex's iPhone rang. "Hello?" he asked as Danny was busy simming a match between PSG and Bordeaux with Paris as the road team.

"Good afternoon, Alex," said Jose Mourinho's right hand man, Andy Butler.

"Andy, how are ya?"

"Good. So, how are you integrating into Unai's system?"

"Pace is slightly different, but they run a 4-3-3 with Edinson, Angel and Julian up front. They're bullish about control, possession and tempo. I make a nice fit, according to them."

"Good. So you need to study their system and when your name is called during a match, listen to his instructions and follow it to the smallest exact details. You and Danny, understoof?"

"Got it, Andy."

"Also, if you turn on the news..."

"What's going on?" He turned on the news. "Oh my..."

"It seems, as you can see, that there has been unrest in the impoverished northeast portions of the city, and the suburbs there, due to what happened to be a crime committed by the local police. Be mindful of where you travel. You're based near the Camp, within walking distance. Stay with your mates and if you need to travel on free time outside of training and matches, make sure your have a team staff member with you. The two young ladies who do the housekeeping can help you in that department. Have you already met them?"

"Yeah, I have met Jose and Sadako. They are very nice people who are my age and got my back in case anything goes down. They cook some really good food too, according to what I've been told."

"Good to hear. They are more resourceful than you think and might even save your life so be very nice and grateful to them. Other that that, make sure to always eat, train and sleep well and don't let any of the recent events on the news distract you or Danny."

"Yes, Andy."

"Right, so with that, I'll let you two be. Good luck on Friday against Bordeaux. This is an important tuneup match for Tuesday, and you know who they are facing."

"Barcelona and Messi, of course," Alex said.

"Good lad. See you then, talk to you later."

"Bye-bye." And Alex hung up.

"Was that your boss Andy?" asked Danny.

"Yep. He told us that some crazy stuff is happening in another part of Paris, on the other side. That's not our issue. We gotta get ready for training tomorrow, that's our focus. You know what to do, eh bruv?"

"Got it, bruv."

"Well done."

"Such a pity," said Georgette Lemare to Sadako Shimohara back at the Camp the next day. "If rioting is the only way the marginalized can think of to address the crimes committed by the police, the future of Paris may be bleak as a stiff peak."

"Peak. Stiff. You mention such mysterious rhetoric and that can only send chills down my spine as I watch our boys hold the line," she replied.

"Okay, we can stop with the rhyme and call time." Laughter followed a confused pause that refreshed. In the distance, some of the players taking a knock were jogging, trying to shake off the niggles and naggles. "Look at Alex. Look at him, look at him. He just likes to juggle that ball, this way and that, then freestyle with the dribbling before passing it to others."

"Really?"

"Watch this."

With a passionate volley of burning love, the ball caressed the net with ease. Swish. It eluded the stagnating, struggling, stumbling and bumbling netminder, the young Alphonse Areola, he who had it tough late against Lille in a howler worthy of a blooper reel, a shocker that made the young man bow towards Mecca in shame, although he was prostrating gratuitously in the other direction, perhaps towards Rome or Davy Jones' Locker. He would have had hell to play if the score remained 1-1. Fortunately, the officials had sympathy and allowed Lucas Moura to rectify matters to keep Alphonse's composure in line.

"Create, destroy, provide, produce. That's what an attacker needs to do, and Alex just knows those elements since his schoolboy days, it seems." Sadako remarked. "But what about us?"

"What about us?" Georgette mused.

"Jose! We are embracing the game more than ever. It's like we almost forget that we are still members of the military on the other side, you know?"

"Never forget the big picture, Sada." She was glancing over the training schedule for the women.

Monday, February 6th 2017

Training session closed to media

Tuesday, February 7th 2017

No training session

Wednesday, February 8th 2017

Training session closed to media

Thursday, February 9th 2017

Training session closed to media

Friday, February 10th 2017

Training session closed to media

Saturday, February 11th 2017

Training session closed to media

Sunday, February 12th 2017 - Stade Georges Lefèvre (Saint-Germain-en-Laye)

03:00 PM: Paris Saint-Germain - AS Saint-Etienne

D1 Féminine - Week 14

"And another thing my dear: I hate people who have spouses that have fake jobs," said Georgette as they continued their conversation amidst observing the intensity of the players during their drills, the cat tracker filming the scenes to be transmitted on the other side. "My work is genuine. I don't do fake jobs."

"Fake jobs? Whatever do you mean by fake jobs, Jose?" Sadako asked. "I mean to find out. Tell me!"

"There is this one politician named Francois Fillon, a conservative from The Republicans who is up for election as President. He is under attack because apparently he had been paying his wife for a job she never did."

"Goodness, Jose! That's terrible to hear."

"Furthermore, Ms. Marine Le Pen is gaining massive support. She is a far-right leader that is, more or less, our country's version of Mr. Trump in this timeline and dimension."

"The attacks by Muslims, the immigrants, the impoverished seems to have sowed the seeds for the Neuroi possibly making another attack on the city, with cooperation of who they are fighting in the Levant, no?"

"Sada. We may be in a more privileged part of the metropole, but now I can sense why this city was attacked months ago and why there is violence in the northern part of the metropole the past few days. The need to revolt and seek justice through violent means is something the Neuroi feed off of."

Sadako looked at Georgette with a concerned look. "What about Hikari and Takami?"

"We already got wind of the situation regarding Hikari's changed to her body. She is still a she, not a he, only she now is able to satisfy her sister's wish to pleasure...the parts of a male companion that she prizes, to put it modestly."

"Vulgar term for that: dickgirl. In Japanese, as they say, it's called futanari and is a trope in adult doujinshi and media in the modern day Fusou, or Japan."

"She seems to have accepted that she is a girl AND a boy. Gender-neutral and gender-inclusive. The best of both worlds, all in a new world. Hikari is fine with this. She got what she wants, Takami got what she wants, and we don't need to judge them because that is their issue and prerogative. You have me anyway to be with, so neither you or me should have ideas regarding the two of them, understand?"

"I do. Thank you." Some more showboating from Alex and Danny, with Alex simply hotdogging to the goal. "Alex again. He's just like Zlatan, isn't he?"

"Who?"

"Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Alex is emulating him. He's so smooth with the ball, as if he is a conductor holding a baton. The ball explodes into the net. He is a gun with a gun of a leg typical of a son of a gun and the grandson of a rifle."

"An expert shooter. Cute looking too."

"Really, Jose?"

"Sada, listen." Georgette whispered, pointing to the dashing young lad juggling with the ball and passing it to his mates. "Boys like him don't come around very often, so we need to treasure his... geste technique." With a sigh, Georgette was reading off a list of matches from another leaflet, disclosing the Coupe De France Round of 16 fixtures.

Coupe de France – Last-16:

Tuesday 28 February 2017 at 18:00 CET

CA Bastia (NAT) - Angers SCO (L1) (en direct sur Eurosport 1)

EFC Fréjus Saint-Raphaël (CFA) - AJ Auxerre (L2) (en direct sur Eurosport 2)

Tuesday 28 February 2017 at 21:00 CET

Girondins de Bordeaux (L1) - FC Lorient (L1)

Wednesday 1 March 2017 at 18:30 CET

US Avranches MSM (NAT) - RC Strasbourg Alsace (L2)

Chamois Niortais (L2) - Paris Saint-Germain (L1) (en direct sur Eurosport 1)

US Quevilly-Rouen Métropole (NAT) - EA Guingamp (L1)

Wednesday 1 March 2017 at 21:05 CET

Olympique de Marseille (L1) - AS Monaco (L1)

Thursday 2 March 2017 at 21:00 CET

Bergerac Périgord FC (CFA) - LOSC (L1)

"So our guys get to be on Eurosport 1, huh Jose?" said Sadako as they looked at the matches. "Chamois Niortais? Who's that?"

"Chamois Niortais Football Club are a Ligue 2 team based in Niort, a town in the west of the country, located in the same region as Bordeaux, who our guys travel to while we stay here to cater to the ladies. A chamois is goat-antelope, or a goat with some attributes of an antelope. Just think of it as a type of goat native to the area."

"Shirley, I reckon, would call that a gantelope. But that would sound too much like a canteloupe."

"I see what you did there, Sada. You need to stop making me hungry, my dear. That. Was. Clever."

"Very." Alex scored again in training, scorpion kick style, the two footer. "Oh stop it, mon coeur, mon coeur!" Sadako cried dramatically, sinking to her knees, hyperventilating comically before receiving a headbump.

"Get up already," Georgette said as Sadako got back up, laughing. "You think we are at a drama audition. We're at work! Be professional, please! Please!"

"Won't argue with you there."

"But...as I was saying, regarding Ms. Marine, who I will refer to her as, her party, the National Front, is located up the road in Nanterre."

"Nanterre?"

"It's a 10-20ish minute taxi ride away from our flat. Most opinion polls have said that Mr. Francois will win the second runoff over Ms. Marine but historically, the media around the world have made the wrong decision a number of times regarding key events, according to what I understand in this timeline. The fake job accusations will no doubt end Mr. Francois's political career."

"When is the first round?"

"Late April. Runoff is in early May. We are currently in early February. I don't think we need to worry too much about this yet. Our minds should be on assisting these players. You know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean." They exchanged a fist bump.

"Just like the boys." Sadako winked. "Let's leave them alone. Help me move some stuff, will you?"

"You got it!"

"Follow me..." Thus Sadako followed Jose to another room to move some important inventory as they continued to work around the facility while the players continued to maintain their focus for a worthy tuneup match to Valentine's Day at home to the world-famous Football Club Barcelona, led by the living legend from New Karlsland, a.k.a. Argentina, known the world and dimension over as... Lionel Messi.

END CHAPTER 15