#*i'm watching you kazowkski. always watching*

[malibuhearts]

oh oh he’s gotta go!

i don’t like ryan. i never did and i still don’t. only now it’s more evident why i didn’t: he’s a fucking asshole.

anyways...

i’m watching you ryan

My Future in You | 1.5 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

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Synopsis: Bradley’s twenty-two years old and not where he’s supposed to be. He’s supposed to be out of the academy by now. Instead, he’s retaking his senior year of college and praying to god that he gets into flight school. Mav’s gone, his mom’s gone. He’s mad at the world. Then, a hook up at a Halloween party changes his future even more than he could have imagined.

Warnings: accidental pregnancy, references to abortion in a few chapters, angst, will be fluff eventually, will be smut so 18+, enemies to lovers kinda thing — mentions of hospitals, stitches and check ups on pregnancy after accident but no loss etc

…

“I don’t even want to go.” It’s almost a whimper, you drop down to sit on the edge of your bed and rest your hand against your forming stomach. Maybe it’s wrong to expect sympathy from Ryan after everything you’ve put him through, but you’re still surprised by the anger on his face when he turns to face you.

He’s been ready for twenty minutes, you’re sitting in the fourth outfit that you’ve tried on for the night, already on the verge of tears. It’s just frustrating learning to accommodate something you’ve never had to deal with before. It’s not just the bump that’s causing issues — you’ve had bloating make you feel worse. Your boobs have gotten bigger, they’re tender now and all of a sudden, everything you wear is too hot.

It’s February and you’re considering not taking a coat.

“You want to look good because he’s going to be there, don’t you?”

There’s immediate disbelief in the way that you lift your head to look at him. He’s staring at you, brows knotted, serious.

“I want to be comfortable, Ryan,” You answer him, frowning as you lift yourself off of the bed again and stand. Maybe there’s a part of you that does want to look good tonight, but that’s got everything to do with the cheerleader that Bradley’s bringing and nothing to do with the idiot himself.

Bradley has seen you throw up until you pass out and still tried to sleep with you in the same day, you figure that you’re somewhat past putting a pretty dress on for him.

“Can you stop being so snappy?” You sigh, stepping around him and pulling open your closet once more. He watches you flinch at yet another offensive smell. That’s this week’s issue — scents. Everything from your favourite perfume to the onions your roommate was sautéing yesterday now has the power to make you gag.

His face softens. He brushes a dark curl back off of his face as you instinctively step back away from whatever the scent is — fabric softener from doing your laundry at Jake’s.

“I’m sorry. Why don’t you go have some water or something? — I’ll pick some options out for you.” He offers, resting one hand on the small of your back and the other on your stomach. It’s really popped this week. It happened on Tuesday, specifically. You’ve asked everyone, there was a definite overnight change.

It happened to be the nights that your boobs jumped a cup size that your bump also went from maybe just bloating to definite pregnancy. It’s been an adjustment. Ryan has been a little tense, and you can’t blame him, but he reminds you every single day that he’s doing his best in his little efforts like this.

You soften, pressing your lips gently to his clean-shaven jaw and whispering a quick thank you.

Things feel easy again once you’re on the way there. You feel pretty in the cream, fitted dress that Ryan chose for you, and you’re grateful for the autumnish Sherpa jacket he paired it with — because it is actually still cold outside, despite your spiked body temperature.

“You look beautiful.” Ryan tells you tenderly as the car stops in a space, he reaches across and rests his hand on your stomach. It’s accentuated by the fitting dress, but now that the secret’s out, you don’t mind.

You lean forwards and press your lips softly to his.

“This was a bad idea, we should go—“

Kenzie grabs Bradley’s forearm, curling her manicured nails into his skin just enough to let him know that she’s serious but not enough to hurt him. They’re parked in the space opposite, facing Ryan’s shitty Honda Civic, watching you kiss him.

“It was a bad idea two weeks ago when you agreed — you had time to cancel and that time has passed. Let’s go.” Kenzie releases his arms and they both begrudgingly exit the bronco. Bradley feels a little better knowing that your boyfriend has a shitty car.

You’re the first to notice the two of them as you pull back from the kiss. Bradley’s scowling at you. Ryan follows your gaze towards the father of your child, and then at the girl to his side. Admittedly, Ryan had been expecting Bradley to either cancel or be lying about having a girlfriend — he hadn’t ever really been expecting this date to happen.

It’s as awkward as he would have expected it to be. Bradley’s girlfriend tries to break the ice a few times. First, as you’re waiting to be seated. Second, as you’re looking over menus. Third, when you’re sipping on alcohol free drinks.

Bradley glares at you across the table. Maybe he has made things difficult between you and Ryan in the past, but at least he has tried. It’s clear that you have no intention of keeping up conversation with Kenzie whatsoever. Her bubbly personality can only keep things together for so long.

For the third time in ten minutes, Ryan catches Bradley’s gaze slip downwards. The dress isn’t particularly low cut, but you’ve got some cleavage in it — especially with the recent growth.

“Hey.”

Bradley lifts his gaze from the golden R necklace dangling between your collarbones and looks at your boyfriend, frowning slightly.

“Do you mind?” Ryan frowns. You look between him and Bradley, lost. Bradley appears equally lost for a moment, you watch him mentally retrace his steps and figure out what he’s in trouble for now.

His eyes fall back on the necklace.

“Oh — no,” He shakes his head quickly. He’s not staring at your chest. He noticed the difference before you even got out of the car, but he’s not an animal. “I was looking at the necklace. It’s cute.”

You glance down, then give your boyfriend a reassuring smile. Ryan doesn’t seem convinced.

“Wonder if he got it from Claire’s.” Bradley mutters under his breath. Kenzie has been doing her best not to encourage his dislike for your new boyfriend, but she snickers softly at the comment.

Looking up, she catches you staring at her. It’s clear that you don’t like her, and she can’t say that she blames you. She imagines Bradley probably hasn’t explained their situation, or if he has, he hasn’t done it very well.

Still, she offers you a sweet smile and plans to explain once the two of you get a moment alone.

Jake gets a phone call from Kenzie at 9pm, whilst he’s hitting second base with a girl from his economics class — he’s mad when he first picks up the phone, and he’s even more furious when he sets it down.

After first apologizing profusely, Jake finds himself driving to the emergency room half-way across town because his baby sister needs him.

You eyes widen, face softening. Ryan feels you relax, relieved at the moment you spot your big brother.

“What the fuck happened?” Jake breathes out, rushing forwards at the sight of you in the hospital bed. He lifts your chin and examines you for any damage.

Frowning, you swipe his hands away from your face and instead pull him in for a hug. Once he is released, Jake turns his head expectantly towards Ryan. Kenzie’s sitting in the waiting room, filling out forms and Bradley’s not answering his phone.

“She — it was all a misunderstanding, and-“

“I fell, and I haven’t felt the baby move since. They just want to do some tests.” You tell Jake softly. There’s an incompatibility in your answers, and you can see the way that Jake readies to round on your boyfriend.

You squeeze his hand softly. He meets your gaze. Not here, not now. You don’t need another fight, you just need your big brother.

The technician swings open the door.

“Hi, Miss Seresin — I’m Todd, just here to do a scan for you.” He announces, walking over to the machine at the side of the bed. “You can go ahead and lift your dress for me.”

You’re grateful that you decided to wear boy-shorts under it.

“She’s right, she did kinda fall.” Ryan whispers to Jake.

“You can tell me what happened after all this.” Jake’s tone is deadly calm, serious. Ryan sits back in his seat and swallows, nodding softly.

“Alright, I’m sorry — which one of you is the father?” The technician interrupts, resting his arm impatiently against an expensive looking machine as he looks impatiently around the room.

“He’s getting stitches.” Ryan declares from behind the cold compress.

“Should we wait?” It’s the wrong thing to say, you can feel Ryan’s gaze burning daggers into your side the second that it leaves your mouth. As furious as you are, this could be serious — you don’t want Bradley to have to hear it from someone else.

“This isn’t a routine scan, Miss Seresin,” The technician reminds you snidely. He’s just doing his job but you still can’t help but feel scolded. “We don’t have time.”

Jake stands up. He can see the worry on your face and he isn’t going to let Bradley make this any harder on you than it already is.

“I’ll grab him, you go ahead.” Jake reassures you. Your face softens slightly, giving him a grateful nod.

You regret the dress now, as it’s bunched up around your middle and the air conditioning in the room feels borderline freezing. You flinch as the jelly is spread onto your stomach, Ryan’s fingers curl around your hand gently. It’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, but you pull away from his touch sharply.

It’s hard not to pass blame.

His stupid game of ‘who’s dick is bigger with Bradley’ put you in the hospital and he still hasn’t apologised. You rest your head back and close your eyes, silently apologising to the little one in your tummy for the chaos around them already.

“Alright, so you said you haven’t felt movement since the restaurant?” The technician asks calmly, his eyes focused on the screen. His shoulder blocks your view, you’re half tempted to tell him to move. Instead, you answer him politely ‘no’. “Okay, and were you feeling movement regularly before?”

The door swings open and Jake shoves Bradley inside.

Bradley’s hand is bandaged now, but other than that he looks fine. He steps around Ryan swiftly as Jake slips back into the other seat in the room. You’re glad you chose to wear shorts under your dress today. Bradley plants himself on the edge of the hospital bed and slides his hand into yours.

Ryan watches your fingers curl around Bradley’s, moments after you flinched away from his touch.

“Um, it felt kinda fluttery. Not kicking or anything, but yeah, I feel stuff sometimes.” You explain. Bradley’s gaze turns towards you, eyes soft, brows knitted together in a mixture of concern and curiosity. He hasn’t ever asked you about this.

He wishes he had.

“Heartbeat’s good and strong.” The technician declares as the growingly familiar sound of that sped up little beat fills the room. Jake sits forwards slightly, his eyes meeting Bradley’s. This is his first time hearing it. Jake’s gaze turns towards you, softening, he gives you a small smile.

“He’s just fine. Little guy’s growing perfectly, but you did the right thing by coming in.” It isn’t until the technician turns back towards you that he realizes he may have misspoken. Four equally surprised faces stare back at him.

Jake’s the first one to speak up, “He? — It’s a boy?”

The technician does a double take and looks back at the image, “Well - um… you haven’t had your anatomy scan yet?”

You remain silent, finding yourself unsure as to whether this is by choice or a symptom of shock.

“It’s not for a couple more days.” Jake answers for you. You’re reeling, waiting for the technician to tell you that he made a mistake and that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Bradley stopped listening after the first ‘he’. He heard it loud and clear, and he hasn’t heard anything but his own heartbeat in his ears since. Blinking, he turns his head to look at you. You’re already staring at him.

“Oh my - I’m so sorry, I thought you already knew.” The technician begins to apologise profusely, but neither you nor Bradley are paying attention to him.

Bradley’s brows knit together slightly, his entire face hardening with concern, he squeezes his fingers softly around yours in the hopes that it’ll get you to stop looking at him like that. You study his features.

Physically, there’s never been a flaw that you were concerned about your child inheriting from him. Those pretty puppy-dog eyes that you already knew your child was going to use to sucker you into letting them stay up late. Curly hair that lands somewhere between auburn and caramel. Rounded cheekbones that give him away even when there’s the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips.

The baby was always going to be fifty-percent Bradley, and it hadn’t bothered you in a while now. Not since what had happened over Christmas. Staring at him now, your heart sinks.

He watches as your gaze falls to rest on his bandaged hand. The tears that have been brimming in your eyes for a good few seconds already finally spill out onto your cheeks. He has misread the situation before, but Bradley knows that there’s not a chance in hell that these are tears of joy.

“Hey, it’s okay—“ Jake sits at your other side and wraps his arm around your shoulder. He rests his cheek on top of yours, his eyes landing on Bradley’s. It’s hard to pretend he isn’t excited at the prospect of having a nephew. Bradley doesn’t match his excitement, instead, he stares at the teams spilling onto your cheeks.

“What is it?” Bradley knows you well enough by now to know that you aren’t just disappointed that you aren’t having a girl, that there’s more to this.

You swallow through the burning sensation in your throat long enough to say what he needs to hear, and wipe away your tears long enough to look him in the eye as you say it.

“I don’t want him to be like you.”

Even Jake almost flinches. Ryan’s eyes widen slightly as he looks between you and Bradley. He’s still sitting off to the side, knowing that it isn’t his place to get in the middle of this. His lips quirk just slightly at the lack of emotion on Bradley’s face.

Bradley pulls his hand away from yours. He has tolerated a lot of painful information in his life. That wasn’t the first, and it likely won’t be the last.

Part of you thinks that maybe he doesn’t react because he doesn’t care. Jake knows better than that. As you turn your head and cry into Jake’s shoulder, Jake stares at Bradley and knows how much that hurt to hear.

Jake knows more of what Bradley has been through than you do, and even he doesn’t know everything. The usual pink flush to Bradley’s cheeks is gone now, his eyes dark as he watches the way you grieve.

“Bradshaw, wait-“

You don’t lift your head to look, but feel the bed shift as Bradley stands.

“I’ll - I should take Kenzie home.” He mutters tiredly, turning on his heel. The door swings shut behind him. You whimper softly as you try to stop the tears. It’s a useless effort, they just keep coming regardless.

…

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