#**it makes the colours flow better anyways.

[banghwa]

HELTER SKELTER (2012) - dir. Mika Ninagawa SIREN by SUNMI (2018) - dir. Choi Yongseok

[dandelionsoda]

As your doctor I'm prescribing you a high fluid intake, so have some water. And some juice for the vitamins. And some herbal tea to help you relax. Don't forget to take these pills, ignore that warning about "diuretic side effects". Make sure to take them with some water! You've got to stay hydrated after all. What someone in your condition needs is plenty of rest, so you'd better not move from that bed.

Hm? You need to what? That's not possible, you haven't had nearly the maximum liquid intake for a healthy adult bladder. Trust me, I'm a professional, I know what I'm talking about. The only way you could need to relive yourself already is if your bladder was somehow abnormally puny and weak and underdeveloped. After all, you went to the bathroom five hours ago. That's not long, is it? Just lie down and relax. There's no way you're getting up anyway. I won't allow it. That would be completely medically irresponsible, letting you walk all the way to the bathroom in the state you're in.

If it really turns into an emergency I suppose we could get you some kind of container. But you can hold it a bit longer, right? Of course you can. Have some more pills. Let me pour you some water to take them with. There we go. You'll feel better in no time.

That's odd, for some reason you can't seem to keep still. Or quiet. You keep making all these distressed little whimpering and groaning noises. Increased colour in the face...excessive perspiration...heavy breathing...that's definitely unusual. Is something wrong? I told you, you don't need to empty your bladder yet, that's impossible, stop talking nonsense. Your stomach hurts? Here, let me examine it.

I'll just apply a some pressure...I can only help you if you stay completely still and stop wriggling. There we go. It hurts when I touch it? That can't be right. Let me push a bit harder...your stomach seems fine, just a normal healthy amount of swelling from proper hydration. There's no reason why it would hurt. I think you must be delirious, imagining things. Maybe you're feverish...look at all that sweat. Of course the solution to that is bed rest and plenty of fluids. Let me get you some more water.

What? You can't drink any more or you'll pee yourself? Don't be silly. Any medical professional could tell you that the average bladder capacity is far higher than that. You've got so much more room! We can just keep filling you up for hours yet...Here's a nice big jug of cold water, I'll pour out a glass for you. Don't just sip it, gulp it all down. Every last drop. There. You're such a good, obedient patient.

Oh, and I'll need you to give me a urine sample. Don't get too excited, I just need you to fill this tiny cup. I'll keep an eye on you to make sure you don't pee any more than necessary. Just cut off the flow when it's full. You can do that right? Aw, you look like you're about to cry. Don't worry, I'll see that you get proper treatment. That's it, just let out a tiny bit aaand...stop! I said stop.

Hm, it looks like you had a little trouble stopping, but that's okay. It was only an extra trickle or two. Your lower stomach still looks nice and round and healthy. What's important is that you keep all the rest of that fluid inside you. Just lie back in bed. Drink another glass to make up for the hydration you just lost. Maybe I'll find that container for you...if I can remember where I put it. Ooh, pouring out all this water for you is making me need to go, I'll be right back. You'd better not move.

Aaah, what a relief~

Oh, that's right, your container. Well, I think your problem is that you suffer from an overly weak bladder. The cure for that is to train it by holding! Just hold and hold for as long as you can and your muscles will strengthen. You can do that for me, right? For your doctor? Enough whining. You want to get better, right? I can't believe how squirmy you are when you've only had a little bit to drink. Once you're able to hold a normal amount I'll think about letting you get up. Let me start a timer.

[gnocchisworld]

Beautiful Stranger

Joost Klein x singer!reader

Summary: reader is playing at a festival and her set is right after Joost's, they meet in the backstage tent after his stage and hang out after reader does hers! Rumors circulate after fans spotted the pair and they reconnect after missed opportunities when they were together :PP

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: no use of y/n, YEARNING! no physical description of reader but uses of she/her and feminine descriptors!

A/N: omgomg this is my first fic ever on here so anyways I am a firm believer of the meeting people twice theory like yes second chances yes reconnection yes!

Entering the backstage tent of the festival, you were immediately hit with a wave of scorching heat, the sun's relentless rays seeping even through the canvas. The energy from the performance on stage outside was pulsing and lively, carried by the young artist who commanded the crowd's attention, music increasing the adrenaline in your blood. Yet even as you prepared for your own set, the background noise and excitement faded to a muted hum as you focused on your vocal exercises and cues. As you readied yourself, the atmosphere surrounding you was as sultry and intense as the heat outside, the hot air seemingly alive with a buzz of anticipation. 

With as much haste as the sound disappeared from your brain, a new, baritone voice flowed through the air. 

“Ah, sorry. Didn’t see you here.” 

You looked up from your daze and were met with a deep, hypnotic blue, one that would make even the skies jealous. The angles of his nose were perfectly shaped, as if God had taken extra time to mould the clay that would later take on his form. From the standpoint of a bystander, the two would seem like the sun and the moon; two opposites that seemingly complimented each other like second nature. As the silence lingered for a second too long and his gaze set comfortably on yours, you choked up the first words that came to mind.

“No worries! I was just lost in my own world there for a moment.”

He was entirely captivating — you were unsure of how to compose yourself as you burned under his stare. As if reading your mind, he quickly offers his hand out to you, eager to make any form of connection.

“You can call me Joost.” He urges, carefully tracing his eyes over every line in your face for a reaction.

Taking his hand in yours, you promptly share your name. A subtle yet powerful exchange — trading names — the fibres in which every invisible string between two people begins to entangle together. His hands felt as though they had once held the warmth of a flame, having the ability to breathe life into anything it touched. For lack of better word, you were electrified.

A careful knocking on the stage door alerted the two and prompted the release of your hands. Your manager walks in, choosing to ignore the other figure in the room.

“Sorry, you’re on in 3.” 

“I’ll be there, thanks, Jere.” He nods, closing the door with relative ease and resuming whatever words he was muttering into his walkie-talkie. 

A beat passes as Joost speaks up again, “Succes!” Smiling fervently, he lightly brushes the skin on your shoulder with his palm as he walks out into his own dressing room before you could even respond, taking with him the warmth of his presence.

Unsure of how to make sense of what had happened, you drowned in your own quandary. The blood in your veins were still pounding against the valves of your beating heart and your kidney was beginning to beat to the same rhythm. You were unsure of whether this was due to stage fright or your recent encounter, though it didn’t really matter anyways; it was the fact that they were both valid options. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------

As you step on stage, the roar of the crowd engulfed your senses like a crashing wave. Your eyes scan the sea of bodies, a kaleidoscope of colours and faces all there to witness your performance. Unconsciously, you were scouring for the blue that looked at you as if you had been the only girl in the world. 

Unbeknownst to you, he had joined the crowd to experience the passion that you had brought out with your music — he wanted to get to know you, and music is the window to one’s soul. As you sang your first song, it became adamantly clear to him how the atmosphere shifted and every light softened under your radiance. Your music highlighted the more subtle hues in life that Joost had not seen in awhile, eliciting memories of lustrous summers and fleeting springs; it felt as if his world, which was always turning at 100 kilometres an hour, began to slow. Your voice was mellow, it filled his eardrums and calmed the ringing which usually reverberated in every corner of his skull. He took note of everything you did, from the way you held your guitar to the reds blossoming on your fingertips as you held down on its strings. Ultimately, he was hopelessly captivated — by your lulling melody, your beauty, and the entirety of your being.

Diverting your eye from your guitar to the crowd, you locked your gaze on a familiar aquamarine — a shade you couldn’t get out of your head as it bloomed in your peripheral vision. A smile played on your lips; you couldn't help it. It was as if the corners of your mouth were tugged at, forcing them to curve upwards. The warmth which was previously absent in your stomach began to reignite and it felt as if rainbows were being drawn on the skies of your psyche. Being on stage in front of thousands has never felt so intimate before.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

As your final song comes to an end, your cheeks are numb from the constant smiling — not performatively but rather from sheer happiness. You step off the stage and back into the backstage tents, still dazed from the trance you were under as you had, prior, melted under the beautiful stranger’s gaze. You could feel a familiar set of eyes linger on you and you’re met at eye level with two deep blue pools. He spoke up gently, breaking the silence between the two before it could settle on your shoulders.

Joost grins at you, his eyes still sparkling with the same intensity as before. "You were phenomenal up there," he says. "I couldn't take my eyes off you."

You felt your cheeks flush a rosy pink, with a shy smile you replied, “you weren’t too bad either.”

Joost let out a hearty chuckle, amused by your comment. "Just 'not too bad'?" he teased, feigning offence. A beat passes as you forget to answer, as if wind had been sucked out of you from the mere sight of his laughter. Taking the initiative, he inquires you; “Hey, uh, I was thinking of walking around some more, take a look at some other stages if you wanted to hang out for a bit?”

Your eyes sparkle with a glint of excitement, “I was actually thinking the same thing — I’d love to join you.” Your voice cracking ever so subtly, betraying your nervous plight.

Carefully, he took your hand and started walking out of the tent, leading you towards the next stage — “so you don’t get lost.”

As you shuffle through the labyrinth of crowds, your bodies are constantly pushed together, every small touch prompting an exchange of warmth in return. His doting predisposition was almost overbearing, each time he looked back to make sure you were still behind him was so subtle, yet so appetent. The implications of it all, his hands on yours as you traverse the field of human bodies, wide open for the consumption of a myriad of prying eyes, was not lost on either of you, yet it remained a fact that both of you choose to ignore.

Breathing away the air of silence encapsulating the two of you, he speaks up. “What kind of music are you into? Like what artist do you want to see right now?”

You hadn’t realised how your gaze was so readily fixed on him — as if it were a force of habit, until his voice fills the silence you’d had in your head; racing at 100 kilometres an hour to catch up to the speed of your heart. Without much time to formulate a response, you quickly mutter the first few words that enter your thoughts. “I’ll watch anyone! Plus — maybe you could introduce me to some new music?”

Your words elicited a gentle smile as he tugged you towards a new area; “truth be told I don’t know who’s performing either — but we can discover together!”

As you settle into the crowd and your bodies blended in to the splatter of colour amidst dancing souls, he rested his hand on the small of your back, fingers fidgeting with the fabric of your top — holding dear to you and praying to a higher being so as to not get partitioned in the middle of thousands.

Although you were sure your attention was focused on the performance just ahead, you could feel each time his gaze averted into your eye line — his stare burned into your cheek the same way a kiss would; searing your flesh with a romance that lingered like sun rays on burnt skin. You used each chance he looked away to do the same — to leave a persistent stain on his peripheral vision which sent his heart to the moon. This prolonged back and forth lasted all the way to the end of the artist’s set, his songs being nothing more than background noise as your heart pounded prolifically in your ears. 

Eager to extend your time together, you asked to buy him a drink — with which he gladly accepted.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Minutes passed into hours discreetly — you were lost in conversations about everything and nothing at the same time, until the noise settled and the crowd thinned, bringing your conversation down to weak attempts at staying in each other’s company.

You take the final sip of your drink; you promised yourself this’d be the last. Eased by the momentum of your mutual exchange, you ask him: “Do you ever look out into the crowd and realise that every person that everyone’s ever met was brought together by chance?”

“Like how your set just so happened to be right after mine?”

Hesitantly, you replied, stepping on eggshells as you cherry pick each word carefully, trying to gauge some meaning behind your blooming relationship. “Yeah, I mean like what if I hadn’t been in that tent when you came in? Would you still watch my set? Would you be having a drink with me right now?”

“I’m pretty sure someone with a presence like yours would’ve caught my attention one way or another.” His response was delivered almost immediately, as if the answer were the most obvious thing in the world.

Attempting to hide the smile inevitably slipping onto your face and the pink creeping up your cheeks, you let out a sincere chuckle. “I’m glad you think so.”

As your conversations drift with the sunlight, a call from your manager reminds you of your responsibilities, prompting an exchange of see you soons and subtle glances over the shoulder as you both depart from each other’s warmth.

It was hard to be around him — to be close but not close enough. To say he charmed you would be an understatement, and to say that he didn’t feel the same would be a lie. Being back in your hotel room reminded you of how intoxicating it felt to be near him, and it felt like an itch as you traced back the steps that you took so carefully around him; how the two of you danced around each other so gently. You weren't sure you'd ever cross paths again; the regret of not being forward about how you'd felt with him loomed around you as you lay in bed, phone in hand, wondering if he was still thinking about you. His name rested on the tip of your tongue as you drifted off to sleep, naturally burrowing a home in your chest.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Waking up to waning notifications and texts hardly alerted you as you were seemingly stuck in the same state of wonderstruck that you had been in the day before. As you recollect your fleeing consciousness, the blots of colour on your screen begin to form coherent shapes, revealing texts from your manager and PR team, all addressed at several tweets and posts discussing you; their messages growing more and more panicked with each one. With a deep breath, you clicked on the Twitter app, bracing yourself for what you knew was coming.

The tweets were overwhelming, discussing everything from your performance to your interaction with Joost. People were making assumptions about your relationship and dissecting every detail of your interaction.

Mindlessly scrolling through the barrage of tweets, a text from a number you have labelled as “Joost :)” halts every single movement and thought previously in motion.

J: hello girlfriend :D 

R: joost?

J: have u seen what theyre saying about us??

R: its really brutal

they dont hesitate

J: this is my first time experiencing something like this (・´з`・)

R: me too!

i hope youre ok with that kind of stuff though, its pretty intrusive

J: yup, but im going to have to get used to this (╥﹏╥)

and you are cute, so i dont mind  (⁀ᗢ⁀)

R: oh thank you, youre cute too :D 

You smiled as you read Joost's messages, feeling a warm sense of relief and happiness. Despite the gossip and speculation online, he seemed to be handling it all in stride – easing any preexisting worry that he’d be weirded out or pushed away by the assumptions forced upon you and your relationship. You stared intently at your screen, your fingers hovering anxiously over the keypad. Your heart rate quickened as you contemplated hitting send on the message, a wave of trepidation washing over her. 

R: maybe we can talk more over lunch? just to make sure ure all good!

Was it too desperate? Did it seem like you wanted a second? First? Date amidst an unfortunate impasse? Would he be discouraged? Did he even want to see you again?

J: i’d love 2!!!!

Oh. You release the breath you hadn’t noticed you were holding in, letting the pressure dissipate from your shoulders. Despite the weight of the situation, you found solace in knowing that he had playfully accepted the circumstances and was willing to brace the full extent of the accusations by risking another day with you. Finalising the details for lunch, you got ready and swiftly made your way out the door – towards the destined spot.

—-----------------------------------------------------------

Stumbling through the city, you took in the sights as you passed by slews of oscillating buildings and unnamed parks. Unanswered messages from your manager remain rigid and unread as you lock away your phone, looking forward for signs of the restaurant you were to meet Joost in. Determination sets in to the anterior parts of your brain – the tenacity to express your interest in growing together with the man you had just met the day prior. Although it was sudden, you were sure that getting to know him would only continue to confirm the feelings beginning to harbour at the base of your judgement. Rounding the last corner, you were hit by a familiar warmth; it was sudden, intrusive, preponderant, and all-consuming simultaneously.

“Hallo!” The Dutch accent slipped into his greeting like honey, the same baritone voice you’d come to be acquainted with to fill the air around you, as a blanket would. Suddenly every smell, minute sound, or gentle breeze that was prevalent became subdued – every one of your senses focusing on the presence of the alluring companion standing in front of you.

Your grin evident in your voice, you reply tenderly, “hello, stranger.”

[morbific-or-felicific]

-AGNOSTHESIA PART 2 Featuring Scaramouche & Kazuha

Part 1 Part 2

Meaning: The state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your behaviour, as if you were some other person

Word Count: 2k~

Description: A study session at Scaramouche’s dorm end with you getting fucked my him and his roommate(Kazuha)

Edited By: @pretty-princess-peach

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You were shivering slightly as you knocked on the door. It was pouring outside, and you had gotten absolutely soaked when you had run over to your boyfriend's dorm building for your study session. You would have grabbed an umbrella or something, but you thought you would be fine with just a hoodie.

Scaramouche opened the door and somehow already looked upset.

“Do you not own an umbrella?”

“I didn’t think I would need it…”

“You’re an idiot. You know that, right?”

“Shut up and let her in, Scaramouche.”

Kazuha was sitting on the couch reading and apparently didn’t feel like dealing with Scaramouche’s idiocy. Scaramouche rolled his eyes and moved aside so you could come in, and Kazuha returned to his book. You set down your bag by one of the couches, and another shiver ran through you. Your boyfriend sighed.

“You’re going to get sick. Go get in the shower. I’ll put some clothes in the bathroom for you.”

He didn’t even give you a chance to respond. He just went to his room to look for something dry for you to wear. You sighed. You didn’t really have a choice, and he was probably right anyway, so you made your way to the bathroom without any protest.

Scaramouche was definitely right. The warm water was making you feel a lot better. As the water flowed down your body, you looked around the shower. You had showered at their dorm before, but every time, the duality of the products in there cracked you up. There was Scaramouche’s two-in-one shampoo and conditioner along with his two-in-one face and body wash. Then there was Kazuha's array of colour protecting hair products, hair masks, exfoliating scrubs, and an almost empty bottle of red hair dye that had no business being in the shower.

When you were done warming up, you got out of the shower and dried off your hair the best you could before putting on the pair of sweatpants and the t-shirt that was miraculously too big for you. Then you hung up all of your clothes, as well as your bra, on the shower curtain rod to dry before heading back to the living room.

Kazuha was sitting in the same spot as before, reading his book, but now there was a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of him. Across from him, Scaramouche had a cup placed in front of where he was seated as well. You noticed that there was one next to him that was probably meant for you.

You grabbed your bag, sat next to your boyfriend, and started pulling out your textbooks and your notebook, placing them in a pile on the coffee table. Scaramouche raised his eyebrows disapprovingly at your actions.

“Are you sure you’re ready to start studying?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

You were a little confused. You had warmed up in the shower and were wearing dry clothes. What more could he want you to do?

“I think he’s just worried that you haven’t warmed up enough yet.”

Kazuha made his comment without looking up from his book.

“Baby, I’m dry now. I'm all good. Don't worry.”

There was a smug little smile on Scaramouche’s lips that gave you a bad feeling.

“But are you warmed up?”

“Y'know,” Kazuha was still staring at his book. “You really have to make sure that you’ve completely warmed up.”

You rolled your eyes at the two of them.

“Okay, give me a blanket or something.”

Scaramouche’s smile grew. He picked up your bag and moved it onto the floor next to the couch.

“Why don’t you get on my lap?”

You turned bright red. What was he thinking? Kazuha was right there! You could see him gently smiling behind his book, which just made it all the more mortifying.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Kazuha wouldn’t mind, right?”

Kazuha finally set down his book and looked you in the eye.

“Not at all.”

“But, we can’t, that’s-”

Scaramouche kissed you, effectively cutting you off.

You stared at him with wide eyes as he pulled away before speaking.

“Just relax and let us warm you up. Okay, dummy?”

You blushed, looking down at your hands. You nodded.

“Use your words.”

“Okay…”

“Come on, say it like you normally would. Tell Kazuha what you call me.”

Your blush intensified and you couldn’t get yourself to look at either of them. You sat there, quietly trying to get yourself to speak, but you just couldn’t.

Scaramouche got bored of your silence and grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Speak.”

“Sorry, master…”

Scaramouche’s face morphed back into a pleased expression, and he released your face.

“Good girl.”

Kazuha was watching the two of you, eyes sparkling with fascination.

“Wow, she really is a good little slut. You weren’t lying.”

Kazuha’s kind tone while degrading you drove you insane.

“Come on, are you going to disobey me?”

“No. Sorry, master.”

You started climbing onto his lap, but before you could, he stopped you.

“Actually, stand up. I want you to strip for us.”

“What…?”

“Are you going to disobey me, pet?”

“No, Master. I’m sorry.”

You stood up, facing Scaramouche, and started undoing the bow on the sweatpants you had borrowed. They dropped to your feet, and you pulled your panties down after them. You felt yourself turn even more red, if that was even possible. Next, you pulled your t-shirt over your head, bracing for the fact that there was nothing covering your boobs at the moment. Scaramouche let out an appreciative hum at your obedience. It was embarrassing enough when you were naked in front of just your boyfriend, but being naked in front of him and his best friend while they were fully clothed? It was humiliating.

“Come here. Now.”

You went to straddle his lap, but once again, you were stopped.

“Turn around and face Kazuha. You want him to have a good view, don’t you?”

You looked at the ground, still bright red as you turned around to face Kazuha. You sat back on your boyfriend's lap, and you felt his hands slide up your sides.

“I’m going to fuck you, and he is going to watch the entire time. Then I’m going to let him fuck you.”

You nodded, still not making eye contact with the man sitting across from you. You felt your boyfriend reach between your legs.

“Hah, you’re so fucking wet.”

“I think the desperate whore wants us to fuck her.”

You whined at Kazuha’s sweet tone mixed with his degrading words.

A moan escaped your lips when you felt your boyfriend start to draw circles on your clit. Scaramouche moved his fingers back so they were lined up with your hole and pushed them inside. Again, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped you as he fucked his fingers in and out of you. When he added a third finger, your moans became more desperate, needing something more than his fingers inside of you so badly.

“Huh, she really does sound pathetic.”

“I’m not- ah!”

You were cut off by your boyfriend using his other hand to play with your clit, all while fucking you.

“‘Ah, mmm hah, I can’t- mmm, feels so good!’”

Scaramouche mocked your moans egged on by kazuha’s comment.

“You’re close, but you don’t sound as worthless.”

Your boyfriend threw his head back laughing, clearly enjoying himself.

He stopped playing with you and placed his hands on your hips. He lifted you up until you were just kneeling over him. You heard him fiddling with his pants and knew what was coming next, or at least, you thought you did. However, before you could sit down on your boyfriend’s cock, you felt the whole world shift, and all of a sudden, you were face down, ass up, on the couch.

“Scaramouche. What are you- ahhhh!”

He pulled you up by your hair until your back was against his chest.

“Fleshlights don’t talk.”

With that, he pushed you back down onto the couch. Your face was somehow still pointed towards Kazuha, so you made an attempt to turn it away. Immediately, you felt a smack on your ass, making you yelp.

“Fleshlights don’t move either.”

You wanted to apologize, but you were afraid of what would happen if you spoke without permission.

Your boyfriend lined himself up with you and pushed inside in one stroke, making your face scrunch up and causing you to let out a pained whine. He didn’t give you any time to adjust before he started fucking you hard and fast, making your closed eyes shoot open.

The first thing you noticed when your eyes opened back up was Kazuha watching you intently as he languidly stroked his cock. You made eye contact with him, and he smiled gently at you. He continued to stare you down as Scaramouche started drawing fast circles on your clit, and your moans got even louder.

“Fuck, you’re really getting off to me fucking you in front of my best friend? You’re such a whore.”

He hauled you up again, this time with his hand around your throat. He tightened his grip and whispered in your ear.

“I bet you’re excited to get fucked by him. You want me to watch as you fuck my best friend like the little whore you are?”

His words mixed with the rush of him choking you pushed you over the edge. Your whole body tensed up, and you had to bite your lip hard to stop the little scream that was trying to make its way out of your throat.

“Oh fuck.”

Your boyfriend moaned at the feeling of you cumming around him. You felt the rhythm of his thrusts become disconnected before he came in you. You felt his cum warm your insides, and you let out a happy little sigh.

“Does she really feel that good?”

Scaramouche shrugged.

“Hah, I guess.”

You could already feel Scaramouche’s cum dripping down your thighs as Kazuha stood up and walked over to you. He knelt on the couch in front of you.

“Wait what are you…?”

You were confused. He wasn’t actually going to fuck you, was he? But Scaramouche was already inside of you…

Your question was quickly answered when he rested his hand on your waist and started pushing his cock inside of you. You let out a whine at being stretched so much. It hurt, and you were still so sensitive.

“Fuck, she does feel good.”

They started fucking you, and you felt like you were going to cum just from the situation alone. The fact that your boyfriend and his best friend were both balls deep inside of you was driving you wild. Not to mention how unbelievably full you felt. You didn’t care about the pain because the pleasure was worth it.

After only a few moments, you were cumming again.

“Fuck, you really are so fucking pathetic. You like taking two cocks at once, huh?”

“Come on, be nice. She’s a slut. She can’t help it.”

You were whining at the overstimulation but still made sure not to talk.

They continued fucking you until they were both getting close to their ends. However, before they were done, they both pulled out and stood up.

“Get on your knees.”

You were confused but did as you were told.

“Fuck, she’s so obedient.”

“She knows her place. She’s my toy, afterall.”

The two men stood in front of you, and after a few moments, they both came on your face. You had your mouth open and eyes closed, just like Scaramouche had taught you. You were such a good toy.

Finally, it was over. You were exhausted and now covered in cum, and the boys were done. Well, Scaramouche was, but Kazuha didn’t feel like pushing either of you for more. Your boyfriend scooped you up and carried you to his room, placing you in the bed. He disappeared, returning shortly after with a warm cloth to help clean you up. He covered you with blankets and laid next to you while Kazuha went back to his book.

Tag List: @lilia-sspouse @but-a-peach @stannazuna @yourlocal-bunny @lordbugs @randomlycockroach @licensedsimp @leena-shi @cesimaaa @welpthisisfine @dainself-when-playable @fic-rebloga @bubblyxdolly @wanderin-stories @iwysbellez

morbific-or-felicific

[lambsouvlaki]

For the Hell of It - Pampering

Characters: Jason Todd x fem!oc

Rating and warnings: G, mention of violence between Bruce and Jason.

Word count: 750

Summary: She looks after Jason after he has a bad fight with Bruce.

Masterlist

Jason leaned his head forward, his expression hidden, as she massaged his tense and knotted shoulders. His hair was going frizzy in the steam of the bath, and his skin was buttery from the products she melted in it. Music played softly through the walls from the living room of his apartment. 

He was usually bullish about letting her pamper him, or letting anyone look after him at all, but he was emotionally wrung out tonight. He gave only token resistance before caving. 

He and Bruce were fighting. It was much worse than she had seen before. To her horror, everyone else was grieved but nobody was surprised. 

Jason had dark bruising around his eye and his wrist was in a splint, elevated above the water. The bruising had bloomed so colourful it could only have been earlier in the week, but he didn’t actually tell her at the time. He didn’t know how to talk about the painful things, outside of throwing them back in people’s faces when he felt vulnerable. 

She had to hear about the fight from Babs. 

He made a soft noise as she steadily worked the broad expanse of muscle. She kneeled outside the partially sunken tub. The tension had been slowly seeping out of him since he sank into the fragrant, milky water. Coco-butter, vanilla, and sandalwood coaxed him into letting go.

She had known him long enough to know there was a rhythm to his relationship with Bruce, and his family as a whole. Like a tide, it ebbed and flowed. Sometimes it flooded, breached the barricades and destroyed things, sometimes it withdrew and exposed all the little things normally hidden beneath the waves. 

And given time, it always rolled back. Even if she wished it wouldn’t. 

Now wasn’t the time to be obnoxious about her opinions on his family. She was pretty sure he knew anyway. 

He turned very quiet as she worked out the last of the tension from his upper body, then smoothed her hands over his skin. She pulled him gently to lean back against the back of the tub. She got up to fetch the shampoo. 

His splinted arm reached out as she returned. He wrapped his hand around her leg and tugged her closer. 

Hearing the silent request, she swung her leg around to sit behind him on the lip. A bare leg sank into the water on each side of him. He pulled one over his shoulder and held her calf. He pressed a kiss to her knee. 

She poured hot water over his hair with a jug, carefully shielding his eyes with her other hand.

He began to silently cry. 

She didn’t say anything. She worked up a lather and massaged the shampoo into his scalp. 

“Why do you stick with me?” he asked, his voice rough. 

Because I love you.

She bit her tongue. 

“You make me happy.”

He scoffed wetly. “You can do better.” 

“I can do a lot worse.”

He moved his head as though to look away. Only there was no looking away, no escaping her here. His hand on her leg flexed. 

“I can’t promise you forever,” he said, tone hard with self hatred. “I can’t even promise next week. Or tomorrow.” 

She gently rubbed little circles into the base of his scalp, just behind his ears, as she thought that over, and tried to hide away the ache in her heart. There were no rings or white picket fences in their future, she always knew that. But he would be at her side with just as much dedication as if there was. She knew that beyond any doubt. Jason didn’t know how to abandon people. If he did… he wouldn’t have two black eyes and a shattered helmet. 

It wasn’t fair. To him, first and foremost. She hated it. He couldn’t promise what he did not have. 

“Nobody can promise forever,” she said eventually. 

He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. “Well, liars and fools can. But I don’t want empty promises.”

He grasped her leg tighter.

She rinsed the lather out, shielding his eyes again. 

He tilted his head back against her. His eyes were shut, with shiny tear tracks down both cheeks. The last vestiges of resistance gave out and he went boneless in her grasp. 

She leaned down, trailing her hands down his scarred body to rest over his heart. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and counted the beats, while he fell apart.

Next>>

[loz-3]

An Unwilling Operative - Part Two

Pairing: Loki x female reader Word Count: 2,257 Warnings: strong language, forced confinement, violence, forced sedation

Tags in the comments!

Part One

Consciousness ebbed and flowed like the tide. At times, you were only aware of colours and muted sounds, but sometimes a word would swim to the front and make some form of sense to your addled mind. Nothing spoken was ever in English, so while you could recognize spoken language, the meaning was lost. Deep within, you were aware that these were Hydra agents and whatever was happening was probably terrible. Moments passed, maybe hours, even days without respite until your vision cleared and you fully woke.

"What a fucking nightmare…" You sat up and ran your fingers through your hair. Glancing around, you were at home, on the couch, still wearing your work clothes from the day prior. You looked down at your watch, noting it was almost time to get up anyways. You tried to remember what the nightmare was about, but it was gone. Last thing you could recall was bidding Loki goodnight at the end of your coffee date. Scowling to yourself, you got up, scratching absently at a raised bump on your neck. You must have been bitten by something last night.

Once showered and dressed, you made your way to the office, not bothering to stop at the café. It was too overpriced for cheap, shit coffee anyways. You arrived late, which was very atypical for you. The receptionist waved and smiled, as she usually did, but you didn't even look up nor acknowledge her presence. Her face fell as you passed her desk silently, giving you a happy boost of serotonin.

The elevator was crowded, people shuffled to allow you a spot to stand, offering up “good mornings” and other pleasantries. Your scowl deepened and they kept their distance the best they could. ‘How on earth did I put up with this shit before?’ you thought, reflecting on the major shift in your attitude, ‘Fuck this place..’

When the doors opened on your floor, you pushed out of the elevator and set up for the day. Normally, you would organize the returned items, and prep paperwork ahead of the rush, all while cheerfully humming to yourself. Today was different, you felt the shift. It was like your eyes had been opened to reveal the truth about how shit your job was, and how greedy and corrupt S.H.I.E.L.D. was. Based on the tech you had access to, they obviously weren’t spending their government funds on bettering things for agents or the team.

Your day chugged on as you slowly descended into dubitation and general mistrust. As noon rolled around, you opted to close up for lunch. You just stepped out into the hall and locked the door behind you, when you noticed Loki loitering at the corner towards the lobby. With a huge smile, you went straight for him, grabbing the front of his leathers and pulled him down into an aggressive kiss. His eyebrows scrunched together, hesitantly pulling back. "What? I am not good enough for you now?" you spoke harshly, accusatorially, pushing off your grip on him.

He raised both hands in an effort to keep the peace, "Where is this coming from, Y/N?". Concern coloured his tone but he didn't lower his hands. He had noticed something was off earlier, having chalked it up to a bad day, but now he knew for sure that something was wrong. "We were starting slow, you did not want to rush…"

"Ah, of course! It's all my fault then!" You got right up in his face, arms crossed.

Loki lowered his hands to his sides, making sure to not touch you, "I did not say that…"

“But you thought it! ‘Stupid little Midgardian, couldn’t possibly know what she wants’!”

He sighed, gently placing a hand on each of your shoulders, “Please, listen to me…I..”

You cut him off, "Maybe you should just mind your own fucking business, if you're going to be like that." You turned your back on him and threw off his hands, striding part way down the hall before rounding back, "Know what? You and your massive fucking ego can fuck right off. Don't bother with tech requests anymore, I'll just get them sent directly to your room… saves me having to look at your narcissistic fucking face."

His jaw dropped in shock at your outburst, but he quickly composed himself, "I take my leave then." His eyes were steel as he headed around the corner, jamming the elevator button with enough force to crack the plastic. Your words had cut him deeper than you knew, but true to his nature, he buried the hurt.

You continued to pace the hall, a twinge of guilt flooded into your heart. '…I've never spoken to him like that before…' You thought, shaking your head in an attempt to organize your feelings, '…no..no! That's on him for leading me on!'. You retreated back to your office, slamming the door behind you. "What a dick…" muttering to yourself, you opened the shutters to the empty hallway.

Finally your day in this hellscape of an office was over. You slammed the gate closed, swiftly locking it and the door behind you as you swept from the building. You didn't encounter anyone on your way out, nor did you hope to. The goal was home and a bucket of whatever drink you had at there. Which, if you were honest with yourself, probably wasn't much. You walked quickly down the street, pausing only to glare at the little coffee shop on the way. "What a dump," you muttered under your breath, "and what a shit date THAT was…". Shaking your head to push out the memory, you hurried along, arriving at your door shortly. You stalked up the stairs to your apartment, noting the deadbolt was unlocked but not really caring that much. "If there's someone in here, you might as well just fuck off. I'm not in the mood for this today."

A man stepped into the light from your living room, leaning against the door frame, "My, my… aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" His grin was ominous, growing more sinister as you rolled your eyes at him and flipped him off.

"I say again… you can fuck off."

"But we have an offer for you, my dear." A second man stepped out from the hall to your right, you hadn't even noticed him at first so you stepped away in shock. He made no further move, however, allowing you to relax a bit.

You turned towards the first man, shifting your hands to rest on your hips, "What kind of 'offer'?" Just as the words passed your lips, a wave of déjà vu hit. You frowned, bringing a hand up to press against your brow, confusion ringing in your head. The man in front gave the other a quick nod and he grabbed a hold of your arms, allowing the other to inject something into your neck. "What the fu…"

The chemical in the syringe doesn't knock you out completely, but makes you very easy to maneuver. The two men escort you to the couch, speaking to each other in a language you don't understand. You are plopped down hard onto the middle cushion, staring up at the men. The first, wearing a dark jacket with a Hydra insignia, crouched down and grabbed your face roughly, "I need you to listen, we are here to help you…" You tried to nod, but the grip under your chin didn't allow movement, he carried on, "дальний, обзор, иль, винить"

At the last word he uttered, you felt your confusion melt and the whisper of the memory was gone. "I just work in a office, I'm not sure what I could do for you… especially after you broke into my apartment…"

He chuckled darkly, "And we apologize for that. We're the good guys here! Your 'employer', well, they're a front corporation. Every conflict, every war in history was started by them.. for profit. You had wanted to help people, but now you sit in a tiny room, under constant surveillance, giving their living weapons all the help they need to destroy and murder." His compatriot nodded along, somehow pushing those intrusive thoughts home within your mind.

"I…did. I do!" You pulled yourself forward on the couch, urgently grabbing at the hand he had dropped from your face, "What do I need to do?"

When you return to work the next day, you are armed with a pair of tiny flash drives. The first one, once inserted into any computer at S.H.I.E.L.D, would eventually break through their security systems and install a program that essentially would open a data tunnel for Hydra. After a few hours, you'd be able to switch out the drives and the second one would transmit all data via the latent tunnel program.

You thankfully avoided meeting anyone on your route to your station. The last thing you needed was more stupid conversations with your idiot co-workers. Once you clocked in and started your day, you popped in the first of the two flash drives.

Unfortunately, and unbeknownst to you, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s security system was far more advanced than Hydra had anticipated and the attempt on breaking in got flagged immediately.

"What in God's name is happening?" Nick Fury stormed around his desk to confront the agent standing in his doorway. "What do you mean, 'we have an issue'?" "Sir.." the agent began, stuttering as Fury's good eye glared down at him, "Sir, we had a breach in the digital security sector but we don't know where the anomaly is originating from, aside from within the complex on level five." "That's most definitely an issue then." "Yes sir… we've managed to lock down the floors' server access and have isolated the program, so it thinks it's working properly." The agent stepped back as Fury swept from the room and strode to the main security terminal. Every camera had been pulled up on the screen and he could easily see that there was only a few staff currently on duty on level five. 'Now we wait…' he thought. Someone would eventually make a move that gave them away. Squinting at the screen, he noted that everyone on the floor were veteran staff. Why on earth would one of them sabotage S.H.I.E.L.D.? He shook his head, not giving in to the thoughts of having a traitor in the mix.

A few hours passed. Finally the first flash drive had finished its task, the little light on it had changed from blinking red to solid blue. You gripped the drive and pulled it out of the computer, dropping it into your pocket for destruction later. Slipping the other drive out, you leant forward and gently inserted it into the USB plug. Suddenly the gate on your window slammed shut.

Shit.

Rushing to the window, you found it was locked externally. Same with the door out into the hallway and the door back into the tech storage/repair area. 'Shit shit SHIT!' You were trapped…just like the rat you were.

As if your situation couldn't get any worse, you heard the click of something engaging beyond your sight and a yellow mist slowly began to descend from the sprinkler system. You pulled your shirt over your face and covered your mouth, knowing that nothing good ever came from inhaling mystery chemicals. Huddling in the corner of the room, you tried to avoid the mist but it was no use. Soon the whole space was hazy from the gas and your vision faded to black.

Now you were…here…wherever here was.

This place…as it turned out, was a very bright, very sterile-feeling square room with a single low slung cot and an awfully flat pillow in one corner. The rest of the space was windowless, colourless, and bleak. A large door took up most of the far wall, opposite the cot, and there was a little camera above the door frame. It was also very quiet. Most definitely a S.H.I.E.L.D. holding cell of some sort.

When you had awoken from unconsciousness moments ago, your body was curled up on that cot, facing the bare wall. Every muscle, ever fibre of your existence hurt. It was like a truck had rammed headlong into a tree, and you were that tree. 'Ugh, what the hell…' your emotions flitted between panic, hysteria, and pure rage, 'Now, how can I get out of this place?'

Glancing down, you realized your normal clothes were gone…replaced with a horrible grey-coloured jump suit. The shoes were plain white slip-on style and no socks. Very minimalist but at least they let you wear something. Being naked would have made this little adventure of yours so much worse. You pulled on the door…it didn't budge. Slamming your fists on the metal, you growled in frustration, knowing you were in a ton of trouble.

Turning your attention to the camera, you asked aloud "Well, what the fuck do we do now?". The light on the camera flickered once, as if it was trying to reply but no voice accompanied it. You sank down to the floor, back against the wall and waited. Knowing S.H.I.E.L.D, it was only a matter of time before someone came to question you.

Notes: I'm so sorry for this portion, I had to end it on a hard note but a third part (maybe the final?) will be up early next week!

дальний, обзор, иль, винить - Russian (further, overview, il, blame)

Part Three

[adobe-outdesign]

have you reviewed the techo yet? i like their big ol feet

Techo are pretty underrated pets; maybe I'm just biased because I have a deep love for geckos, but they're cute little guys with nice, simple designs. They're not technically that different from actual geckos in terms of anatomy, having the distinct sticky toes/fingers, large bugged out eyes, and big tails, but being bipedal instantly gives them a bit of flavor, and I like the way their tails stick straight up and have a naturally wiggly look to them.

Another thing that helps is their markings; they have these subtle swirls on their limbs, but they also have a few spots on their heads (typically red, though it varies when painted). There are plenty of geckos that have spots like this IRL, though the one that immediately jumps to mind is the Madagascar Giant Day Gecko:

My only issue with their basic colors is that the cream-colored underbelly feels a bit low-contrast, and doesn't always work well with the base colour. I kind of feel like something more colorful would've been better; either a lighter tint of the base colour or a yellow to match the eyes. This isn't a big deal though, as most paint brush colours change this anyway.

Conversion was sort of a mixed bag here; on the one hand, I like the anatomy of the converted version better with the better-proportioned arms, thicker tail, better-placed/bigger spots, and improved flow to the overall body. However, it also lost a lot of its personality; the customized version is just kind of there, while the unconverted version is delightfully cheerful and easy-going.

Favorite Colours:

Faerie: The UC/styled faerie Techo is amazing. I love that they didn't just slap generic butterfly wings on it, instead opting for some ruffled, folded wings vaguely reminiscent of something like a frilled-neck lizard. They fit the gecko base perfectly and the way they run all the way down the body is really cool. The light yellow body is then contrasted not only with the lighter blue wings but some darker blue spots that kind of invoke the default ones on the Techo's head, which makes it so the body isn't just a generic yellow Techo base. Beautiful stuff.

The only con is that the converted version sucks; not only did the markings change slightly for the worse, but the wings are both too light and no longer run down the tail like they used to, resulting in it looking 10x more generic. Defiantly go for the styled on this one.

Woodland: I've already talked about this one before so I'll keep this one brief, but the woodland Techo is really neat; it's based on the leaf-tailed Gecko, which is both thematically appropriate and makes for a neat visual. The leaf tail and underbelly are integrated pretty well, and I like the more subtle color palette for this one.

Maractite: The Maractite Techo does a fantastic job of integrating the Techo's natural markings into the design; not only are the arm and leg swirls present, but also the spots on the head, all detailed and seemly integrated with the rest of the body markings. There was also a lot of though put into the intricate flow of the markings on areas like the tail, and the plain underbelly has a wonderful hard polished rock texture to it.

BONUS: The toy Techo is one of those sticky gecko toys, and like the Maractite, has a great texture to it. The concept is fun, and I like the use of neon-bright color here. My only issue with it is that the tail feels disconnected from the body; I think it being green would've solved that issue, especially because there are three colors competing here already (pink, green, and red). I'm also not a huge fan of the spots here, as they look weird with the raised texture. The rest of it is pretty delightful though.

[withered-blossoms]

➠LAY YOUR GAZE UPON ME: PROLOGUE

A/N: Banners by @cafekitsune. SPOILERS FOR GAME CONTENT. This is gonna be a series, so buckle up. Yes, this is a new writing style that I am experimenting with. Think of it as an experiment to see how patient my readers are, if you will. The chapters will be released in the sequence of the brothers’ birth orders. As for the dateables and finally the new undateables, I'll consider giving them their own chapters as well once I've familiarised myself with their character. As usual, if Luke's chapter is written, it will be strictly platonic. Anyways, enjoy the prologue!

What makes you think that the world is exactly how you see it?

What makes you so sure that the truth is composed of what your eyes send to your brain?

Dear little human, it will do you only good and no bad to remember that nothing is definite. Life is full of changes at every corner. Those seemingly set now may very well fade away later. Anything can turn into sand the moment your eyes land on another object.

This concept applies to fictional works as well. Who is to say that your favourite characters do not exist? How can you all, as measly humans, guarantee that a character is fictional?

Give it some thought, my precious little mortal. How do you know for sure that the characters you make up are not memories of loved ones from the past? Who can guarantee that the tragic backstories you “came up” with are not the tales that your beloved partner, romantic or platonic, divulged to you, perhaps under a starry night with the breeze gently brushing against your cheeks?

I suppose I should apologise for making you waste your time on the contemplation of such matters. As beings with a limited lifespan, it would most likely be better for you to bring those long-forgotten memories back to life once again, while you still have the chance to. Grant them, bless them, gift them, breathe life into them once more, so that they may live under your loving gaze.

Only in your memories will they truly live.

So boldly tell their tales. Spread the word, invest time into their “creation” and pen out the details personally.

Because this is the only way they can make you remember them again.

…….

Apologies become meaningless when they are spilled repeatedly from one’s lips. To make it up to you, let me direct your attention to the new game in the market. I’ll be sure to give you, my dear little lamb, an unforgettable tour. Think of this as a little gift from me for the time you wasted trying to understand my delusion.

Obey Me’s the name, and your memory’s the game.

Those advertisements with weird dialogues, game characters with characteristic hair colours and ridiculous “choices” certainly do ring a bell, don’t they? It makes me wonder why the developers choose that specific advertising style when the real gameplay is nothing of that sort. Or well, its quality is a lot higher.

God, even Solomon can’t give them reliable advice when to comes to humans huh? Where is Leviathan when we need him to roast the choices made by the others on the committee?

Come now little lamb. All you need to do is to push that download button and you’ll be able to see who I’m referring to again. You’ve got plenty of storage after all; it wouldn’t be wise to lie to my face now, would it?

So that’s what you do. Download the game, and immerse yourself in its plot. Weren’t expecting for “your vessel” to be kidn– invited and whisked away, pardon me, to Hell on the first episode now did you? Well, it would seem that the darling lamb does not have a choice, since you were summoned under the personal orders of the heir apparent after all. Just go along with the flow, won’t you? They won’t harm a single hair on your head. You have the word of the first-born, the Avatar of Pride, Lucifer, as he is named. Besides, you’re under the protection of Diavolo and by extension, Barbatos, steward of the Crown Prince who you will meet later on. Their names sound familiar? You must be imagining things; just ignore that feeling of déjà vu. The human mind can be incredibly deceitful after all, so see to it that you fall not for its traps.

As we go down memory lane the storylines, you are introduced to the brothers one-by-one. Some are currently present, some are not. Worry not though, eventually you’ll get to know them again. To sum it up for your sheepy brain, you’ll be living with the seven Lords of Hell, who serve the Crown Prince. We have Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor. Find it hard to remember? It’s alright, perhaps you’ve already known it before my introduction. You just have to dig a little deeper and –

Alright alright, I’ll take your word for it and stop squawking. After all, I’m just a little crow, what would this bird-brain know?

[reimenaashelyee]

The World in Deeper Inspection UPDATE Read: (Chapter 1: Pages 57 to 68) (COMPLETED)

About the comic

Grimsley confronts the man who set him on this goose chase.

And with that… that’s the end of the 10th Anniversary revamp!! Can’t believe it took me almost a year to get this short project done, but blame my school and day job for that! *drives the nail into the TWIDI IS NOT DEAD sign deeper into the wall*

It was enlightening to reinterpret my first ever completed comic (more complete than the strips and unfinished or one-off shorts I had done prior) – basically the one that started me down the road to a career as a published author. I was happy to see how much my style had improved – not just in the layout, flow and pacing – but in how my characters have become more expressive and energetic, and how comfortable I am with the cartooning. Here is the proof that drawing comics helps you get better at comics!! It only took 10 / 11 years!

Plus, after a long while of drawing with a more reserved, professional approach (see: Seance Tea Party, Alexander Comic), I enjoyed the abandon and whimsy of TWIDI. The lettering is inconsistent all over but that only adds to the handmade whimsical charm of TWIDI, so lol.

Anyway – I have the 10th Anniversary ebook edition up on my Ko-fi and itch.io! This edition carries both the original and revamped versions of Chapter 1. No new cover or illustration for it this time; I think they are perfect as they are.

I have been meaning to make a continuation of the end of TCM that bridges the start of Chapter 1. It’s a long time coming: a story that had somewhat existed since the early days of TWIDI in 2010. Hopefully I will find that stability in my life to return.

Open the cut below to see my notes.

There’s also nothing exciting here, EXCEPT I severely cut down on the number of panels (and the verbiage).

As with the previous spread I cut down and distilled a lot of the verbiage. I shifted the dialogue slightly so that the reveal that Mr. Brown is a Lord comes from Grimsley (in 2013, Mr Brown never admitted he was an aristrocrat until this page) – it made more sense since Grimsley had gotten the info independently from the newspaper article and Andrew, and Mr Brown not mentioning it himself fits with his whole lying thing. For this spread and the next couple of them I am zooming out the panels to include more scenery. The 2013 layouts felt very claustrophobic, with the over-reliance on bust shots of the characters to carry the tension of the conversation.

Some more dialogue trimming and background scenery. I decided to change the setting for the chase sequence to be within the cemetery – just ’cause it makes more sense than if it was done all around Brookham. The panelling for it is a bit more dynamic too – look, Grimsley is parkouring!!

I have no idea why 10 (actually, 11) years ago I had so much trouble conveying and pacing this sequence of Mr Brown being set on fire. That’s the hindsight of experience, I guess??? Anyway I added a few more panels for actual build-up, and the blocking is way better now – there’s more energy (especially Skeleton’s expressions) and clarity (omg we can finally see where and what’s happening to the lamp). The last panel is a new addition to better connect with the next spread. Also… I am excited to see how much further I can draw Mr. Brown’s demise.

Man, the difference some changes in pacing can make. I added some panels with witnesses to the fire, just to emphasise why Grimsley and Skeleton have got to run. It’s crazy enough if a Brookie has got to witness immolation in the middle of the Night, but two paranatural spookies??? Also human fat has such a colour hdsjkfhsdkf the things that come out of an immolated body are so eerie….

The 2013 spread is almost perfect. 18 Year Old Me got it.

[heartseungs-archive]

love.fm | h.rj

genre ❥ fluff, angst, coworkers to lovers  pairings ❥ radio show host!renjun x fem!reader  word count ❥ 7.2k   warnings ❥ none author’s note ❥ had this sitting in my wip for a while after rewatching renra on akdong seoul....just thought it would be a really cute idea!!

My love's so young, I'm young, at a sweet age I can't only look at you

As the ‘ON AIR’ sign flickers to life, you pick up the familiar pair of headphones at your seat, colourful stickers decorating the headband to separate it from the rest. The other guys at the station don’t particularly mind sharing headphones, but you find having a personalized one more enjoyable.

Seulgi, your program director, stands behind the glass wall, flashing a thumbs up from where she’s comfortably nestled in her chair. Jeno is just beside her, but he’s much more focused on the music controls, ensuring that it’s broadcasting smoothly. There’s a teleprompter in front of you, but you know you won’t need it. You’ll probably go off script anyways.

Which is why your partner flashes a warning glance at you, and you simply grin. He’s the one who keeps track of time and attempts to stick to Seulgi’s meticulously planned program sheets, reigning you in when you go off tangents.

Huang Renjun has been your partner host for the past year, and the both of you make a good team. A wonderful team, actually, if the listener numbers are anything to go off by. You know it’s partially luck that the both of you got an interesting show to helm, but surely part of it is due to your efforts as well.

Renjun’s dressed in a comfortable black hoodie today, already wearing his reading glasses as he looks over the script. You had teased him for his poor eyesight until he finally caved and bought the white frames that now rest comfortably on his nose.

A cue from Seulgi jolts you out of your thoughts, and you quickly take a sip of water before turning on the microphone. Renjun flashes an encouraging smile at you, even though it’s practically routine at this point.

“Welcome to The Love Club, where we provide a solution towards each and every dilemma you have about romance. It’s your favourite DJ, Y/N, along with Ren-D. I hope your Friday is going good, dear listener, so grab a cup of tea and let us accompany you until midnight!” The words flow out of your mouth smoothly, from weeks upon weeks of practice. Even then, the rush of excitement that fills you each time you speak into the microphone still remains as new as the first day you stepped into the studio.

“Thank you to everyone who sent in their stories! Today, we’ll be discussing the topic of first loves. Our first story is from user jiyeonluv.”

Dear Ren-D and Y/N-D,

I’m Jiyeon, a high-school student. I have a crush on someone in my school, and I really, really like them. But we’re graduating already, and I think we’ll be going to different universities. Should I pursue him?

You hum gently, thinking over your reply. The letter causes a fond smile to make its way onto your face, just from how adorable it is. “I think you should go for it. After all, if both of you really like each other, it’s possible. Besides, it’s better to try and be rejected, rather than not and worry about the what ifs.”

Renjun nods. “Besides, I heard long-distance relationships are the trend now,” he adds.

“I’m not sure where Renjun gets his trends from, considering he barely uses the internet,” you contradict, and Renjun scoffs slightly. “However, I hope everything goes well for you, user jiyeonluv! On that note, the first song of today that we’ll be playing is Young Luv by STAYC.”

“Good job today,” you say, and Renjun quickly returns your tired grin. He pushes open the glass door, you following behind him. Your tote bag lies on the shelf outside the office along with your sneakers, and you quickly put your shoes on, smartphone in hand.

Seulgi and Jeno wave goodbye to you as you leave, both of them already preparing for the next programme. Their schedules run a bit differently from yours and Renjun’s, considering they manage the night programmes until two in the morning. You wouldn’t be surprised if the both of them were almost nocturnal at this point.

The hallway is dim at this time of night, the broadcasting station void of much activity except for the room you just exited. However, there are still footsteps here and there, likely from interns or security patrolling the building.

It’s a short walk from your studio to the carpark, but you’re already shivering by the time you exit the building. It’s coming to fall, and the leaves are already transitioning to shades of autumnal red and yellow.

It’s quickly halted by the feeling of a jacket over your shoulders, however, and you quickly look up at Renjun, a silent protest in your eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ve got a hoodie on. You, on the other hand, should really start remembering to bring your own jacket.”

“I don’t need to, when you lend me one anyways,” you reply, and he huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes.

However, you’re quick to move your hands towards the heating vents of Renjun’s car once you’re inside, sinking into the plush leather seats comfortably.

“You don’t need to send me back, you know. The public buses are still running,” you mutter, your breath fogging up the window. You draw a smiley face on it absentmindedly, watching as the cityscape flies by.

“It’s not that safe. Besides, you’re on the way anyways.” Renjun’s lying, because you know where he lives, and it is most definitely not on the way. In fact, it’s likely added an extra fifteen minutes to his journey home, but you’re not going to protest with him further, especially when the rides are in your benefit.

Even though the both of you are able to continue an entertaining banter throughout the entirety of the radio program, you and Renjun seem to lapse more into silence once alone, likely due to fatigue as well. You suppose it’s also due to the fact that there’s not much need for words to be exchanged for you to feel comfortable in Renjun’s presence, him focused on the road and you with…well, nothing exactly. The drive is always a good time for you to clear your mind, considering Renjun’s careful enough and you completely trust him to get you back home safe.

“See you tomorrow,” he says once the both of you are in front of your apartment building and you wave to him before stepping out onto the pavement, watching as his car gradually disappears down the winding path.

When you reach home, you’re quick to fall into bed, already exhausted. You’ll shower tomorrow, you think, but for now, what you need is a good night’s sleep.

“Well, someone looks cranky.”

“Shut up, Haechan.”

“Even I don’t mess with Jaemin, Haechan. You should be careful,” Mark says, and Jaemin just nods. Haechan sighs dramatically, sinking back into the chair, and his antics are the first thing you see when you step into the office.

“Well, I hope no one’s cranky after what I bought,” you announce, paper bags with recognizable green logos in your hands. Jaemin immediately perks up, looking at you gratefully.

“You’re so much better than Haechan,” he says, a sound of indignance coming from the other boy at his statement.

“Eight shots for you- I don’t know how you actually drink that, by the way, an iced tea for Mark and a latte for Hyuck.” The boys mutter soft thank yous as they take the cups from you, leaving two inside. Your caramel macchiato, and someone else’s-

“Speak of the devil.” Renjun is quick to grab his drink from your outstretched hand, raising a brow at you. It takes a while for you to realise you said it out loud, and your cheeks turn red, quickly shaking your head. “I was just wondering where you were, and you walked in right after,” you explain, and he nods, stealing a sip of your drink before he goes to his seat. You’re used to it at this point, even if Renjun has already gotten his own cold brew. You had been the one to persuade the boy into trying your macchiato a few months ago, to no little amount of effort. After a while, he had caved, but Renjun would never admit that he liked your drink more than his own.

“Today’s meeting is quite important, which is why I asked you guys to meet early.”

“At nine in the morning, no less,” Jaemin mumbles, and there’s barely audible laughter from the other two boys in the room. You had been wondering why Mark had texted the groupchat asking all of you to come down to the office early.

This morning, you had stumbled out of bed groggily when your alarm awoke you, running to the bathroom when you realised you might be late. The coffee had simultaneously been an apology and a distraction, but it ended up not mattering as much, since Renjun had arrived later than you.

“We need to discuss our plans for the second half of the year. If you guys want to revamp your programmes, change something about it, or anything.”

Haechan raises his hand quickly. “I think 37.5MHz should be extended to four hours.”

“No one wants to hear you talk for four hours, Haechan,” Renjun replies, and Haechan looks at him incredulously.

“Just because you can’t appreciate the masterpiece that is my voice, doesn’t mean others won’t-”

“Let’s stay focused, guys,” Mark reminds, but even he’s struggling slightly to maintain a serious expression on his face. The five of you are already familiar with each other at this point, being the ones to host the weekday special programs.

Mark’s in charge of the broadcast from ten in the morning to noon, his programme aptly titled Mark’s Music Space. You had come up with it at a meeting once, and he ended up liking it a lot more than you expected.

At two, Jaemin’s the one in the studio, a cup of coffee always by his side. Which is accurate, you suppose, since his entire programme is cafe-themed. He’s the one in charge of curating most of the playlists for the station, considering how well-versed the boy is in picking songs based on the mood.

Haechan takes over at five with 37.5Mhz, brightening the natural lull of the afternoons with his cheery personality. The boy runs it almost like a podcast at this point, often spending more time chatting than playing music. Still, if his ratings are anything to go by, you suppose there is an audience that he appeals to.

And then at nine, it’s you and Renjun’s turn, with Love.fm. The most interesting program, in your opinion, but you’ll never tell the other guys that, because they’ll definitely begin arguing with you incessantly. Still, you’re proud of how much work you and Renjun have put in, taking hours to plan out your themes and filtering through the listeners’ letters personally.

“Y/N, Renjun. Anything you guys want to change?” You look up at Mark, shaking your head. “I’m happy with the program.” “Me too,” Renjun replies, and you grin at him.

Jaemin lets out a slight chuckle, Haechan right after him, and you cast a pointed glance at the two. “What?” Jaemin quickly shakes his head, expression becoming blank once again. “Nothing.”

You look at Mark’s hesitant expression, and decide to just bite the bullet. “Mark, what is it?” The boy’s expression is stricken as he meets your gaze, and he coughs slightly before continuing. “Oh..um…I was gonna ask if you and Renjun wanted to make Love.fm a viewable broadcast.”

”Why don’t I get a viewable broadcast?”

“Because you post everything on your Instagram already. If I was your fan, I wouldn’t want to see your face anymore,” Jaemin responds, and Haechan huffs petulantly.

“Like….a live stream?” Renjun asks hesitantly, and Mark nods. “Yeah. Your program is already so popular, and I think a lot of the listeners are quite curious about what you guys look like. It would be a good idea for publicity. Of course, you don’t have to do a viewable one every day, it could be once a week, or something,” he explains, and you consider the idea briefly. It isn’t a bad one. You’re not someone who’s particularly afraid of the camera, and neither is Renjun. The idea’s almost exciting, the fact that you and Renjun are something like mini-celebrities because of your programme.

“I’m down if Renjun is,” you say, smiling, and Mark looks relieved, turning to your partner. “Sure,” Renjun says, and Mark claps his hands together. “Great! We can do the first one on Monday? For everyone else, Seulgi’s also discussing with the publicity team about getting us to film additional content, so I’ll keep you guys updated on that.”

You realise now that this is likely Seulgi’s idea, and it makes sense, really. When you had first started the job, you hadn’t expected the listeners to show so much support for their show hosts. Jaemin, Haechan and Mark have something of their own following as well. The five of you have potential as media personalities, and it's obvious that Seulgi’s making good use of it.

“Want to get breakfast?” Renjun asks, leaning over to your seat. “Yes please, I’m starving.” You grab your things and follow him out, waving goodbye to the others in the room.

As you pass by the recording studio, you hear faint voices filtering out of the room.

“Welcome to Chenji’s this….”

“And that!” You immediately recognize Jisung’s baritone and see the two younger boys inside, already rehearsing for their show. “They’ve improved a lot,” you comment, a fond smile on your face as you watch the two.

“I remember when they first joined. Jisung couldn’t even say one sentence without stuttering,” Renjun adds, and you let out a soft giggle. “Well, it’s thanks to you that he’s so good now. Don’t act like you didn’t stay up practising with him.” Renjun’s cheeks redden at your comment, but you know it’s true. Despite his colder exterior, Renjun is caring to the ones closest to him, and has a soft spot for the nervous youngest. It’s something you’ve noticed about him after spending so much time together, his quiet acts of service.

“What are you thinking about?” Renjun asks as the both of you step out into the bright morning sunlight. He looks nice today, brown corduroy jacket over a white shirt and jeans.

“I like your outfit today,” you comment, not catching the way Renjun’s breath hitches, his pulse speeding up just barely.

“Are you just saying this because you want the jacket?”

“No promises.”

When I see you happy Naturally, I'm laughing along I get excited by your actions and toss and turn

Technically, you shouldn’t even be nervous. But you can’t shake the tension that grips you, despite the two cups of hot chamomile that you’ve already consumed. It’s okay, you tell yourself. Today is like any other broadcast, Y/N.

“We just hit fifty thousand listeners,” Seulgi announces, and you sigh shakily, hearing Mark let out a low whistle at the news. You take it back. Today isn’t like any other broadcast. That’s close to double your usual number. Your train of thoughts- more like a nervous trainwreck at this point, really- is brought to a halt by the feeling of a warm hand on yours.

“You okay?” Renjun asks, his gaze warm, and you feel your heartrate slow down slightly. It’s not that you don’t want this- you’re quite excited, to be honest, but there’s also a little fear at the viewers’ reactions.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he continues, out of earshot of the people outside. However, you’re quick to pull yourself out of it, shaking your head at Renjun. His concerned gaze doesn’t leave your figure, but you smile at him reassuringly.

“I’m fine. Ready as ever. Seulgi, shall we start?” You ask, and she nods, turning on the cameras. There’s a screen in front of you that shows the comments, but you decide not to look, instead focusing on your script and the camera.

“Hello, everyone! Today is a very special day. As you can see, Ren-D and I are meeting everyone for the first time via live stream.” Renjun waves shyly at that, and you automatically grin, nervousness easing slightly as you fall back into the routine of hosting.

“I feel like someone doing a face reveal,” Renjun points out, and you laugh slightly. “Yeah, me too. Honestly, I was so nervous.”

You’re feeling much better now, and it feels like any other evening in the broadcasting studio, Renjun next to you, script in hand.

“Let me read out our first letter today, from user tyongya.”

Dear Y/N-D and Ren-D,

You have no idea how excited I was for the broadcast today! I wrote this letter because I’ve been in a relationship with someone for two years, but we haven’t told each other we love each other yet. What is love to the both of you?

Thank you for this program, and I’m cheering both of you on!

“Oh…” you trail off as you think over your reply, head tilted. “Wow, that’s a big question,” Renjun comments, and you nod.

“I think love is wanting to see the other person happy, no matter what. Like, seeing them smile makes you smile too. That’s the simplest way I can put it,” you finally state, and Renjun makes a sound of agreement.

“Y/N said it well. If I love someone, I think I would place their happiness above my own. Personally, I would say that loving someone means that being with them makes you want to be a better person, both for them and for yourself.” Renjun’s looking at you as he says it, and his voice takes on a noticeably softer tone. You’re suddenly unable to look at him for some reason, gaze darting downwards to your script nervously.

Once you regain your composure, you continue, even though the back of your neck still feels warm for some reason.

“Yes, don’t forget that self-love is important too, guys,” you say, and Renjun chuckles, causing you to inevitably let out a laugh of your own as well. He’s smiling brightly, and you’re not sure whether it’s because of the excitement of doing a live video broadcast, but you can’t hold back the wide grin that appears resolutely on your features as well.

“Now, our next song is Love, Maybe by Melomance. User tyongya, this is for you. We hope you find love soon!”

“I knew you would recommend Love, Maybe,” Renjun says, a teasing smirk on his face. “It’s a good song!” you defend, and he doesn’t reply, causing you to jab him softly with your elbow.

“Say it’s a good song, or I won’t stop playing it in the car,” you threaten, leaning towards him until your faces are close. Renjun leans back playfully, away from you, and you only lean closer, eyes questioning.

Until your headphone wire gets caught, causing you to stumble forward into his chair. Renjun’s quick to catch you, and you turn to look at him, only realising your faces are a hair’s breadth away from each other when it’s too late.

You’re quite sure you’ve stopped breathing as you look into Renjun’s wide eyes. It seems like forever before he quickly regains his senses and puts some distance between the both of you, standing up from his chair and letting out a nervous cough.

You’re still in a daze, cheeks already reddening with their familiar flush.

”Guys, good job on the broadcast today- are you two alright?” Seulgi glances confusedly at the both of you as she steps in, and Renjun is the first to respond.

“Yeah…we’re fine. What did you say?” He asks, and Seulgi looks rather doubtful, even as she grins at the both of you.

“We broke our viewer record today. And you guys should see the comments,” she adds, handing the both of you her laptop. You scroll absentmindedly, taking a while to focus. There are thousands of them, coming in at a mile a minute even though the broadcast’s over.

Wow….the both of them look exactly how they sound. And I love their voices, so that speaks for itself.

Y/N looks like she could be a celebrity! And Renjun too.

It’s hard to conceal your happy smile at the positive comments, even if it’s shallow to care about your appearance. Renjun catches your eyes, and the previous tension seems to be dispelled. You continue scrolling down, not entirely ready for the next barrage of comments.

The more I think about it, Renjun and Y/N look so good together.

These two are so compatible…I wonder if they’re dating?

Wouldn’t it be so cute if they were a couple? They even run Love.fm together…it’s like something out of a fiction book.

You cough abruptly, cheeks flushing as Seulgi looks at you, concerned. Renjun seems to have noticed them too, handing the laptop back and averting his gaze from where you’re standing. You hear the door open, and realise the midnight news broadcast must be starting soon.

“Right, you guys must be tired. Go home and rest,” she nags, almost pushing the both of you out of the recording studio. You don’t even bother to resist her, thoughts hung up on the comments from the listeners.

There’s an awkward silence that hangs over you and Renjun as the both of you leave the company building, and you fiddle with your fingers, unsure of what to say. It continues even as you enter the car, and Renjun seems to feel it too, for he immediately plays music the moment the both of you get in.

You lean your head against the headrest, occasionally taking quick glances at Renjun when you think he isn’t looking. It makes you feel nervous somehow, as if you’re doing something you shouldn’t.

His profile is soft under the streetlights, silver hair shining brightly even in the darkness. You remember when he had first walked in with it, and you stared at him open-mouthed in shock. It was such a stark contrast from his previous raven black hair, and yet seemed to make his features glow even brighter. The thought makes your heart flutter against your own will. You’re bewildered at the strange feeling, and yet can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the boy.

“You’re staring. Is something wrong?” Renjun’s direct question causes you to sit up immediately, heart rate stumbling. “Nope, nothing,” you stutter out, stubbornly turning your gaze out the car window, just in time for you to miss the amused smile on Renjun’s face.

“Y/N, wait.” Your hand is on the car handle when Renjun halts you outside your apartment building. You turn back to look at him, tote bag already in your grasp. “What is it?” The silver-haired boy falls silent at that, seeming to hesitate over something. You’re patient, however, leaning back into the seat just as you recognise the next song that has started playing through his car speakers.

I'm gettin' really tired of this back and forth Why don't we just give in to this driving force? I mean, there's somethin' between us

The lyrics make your brain short-circuit, and you can’t help but interpret them in the context of the situation, filling your heart with a heady sort of hope as you look at Renjun. It feels like you’re wading into unfamiliar waters, but something tells you to keep going.

“You did well today.”

“Huh?” You’re brought back down to reality, Renjun’s words grounding you.

”You were nervous, but you got through it. I’m proud of you. That’s what I wanted to say, I guess,” he mumbles, and the words are sweet, warming your heart.

“That wasn’t what I was expecting,” you say reflexively, and he turns to you. “Were you expecting something else?” His gaze is strangely searching as he turns to you, almost as if he’s silently beseeching you to say something else as well. However, you’re seized by nerves, and quickly shake your head.

“No, nothing. Thank you, Renjun. You did well today too. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Even then, you feel a sense of disappointment, but you can’t possibly blame him for your own overactive imagination. It must be the comments getting to your head, you think, as you step out of the car and Renjun waves to you.

Still, you can’t shake the thought of Renjun being more to you, of the both of you being more than just colleagues and friends. It’s never been something that’s come to mind, and yet made glaringly obvious by the events of today. The way you are starting to find it harder to let your eyes stray from his features, the drives home with him becoming the most treasured moments of your day.

The answer’s simple, really. Stupidly simple that you should have figured it out a long time ago, considering the fact that the both of you run a romance advisory programme. You have feelings for Renjun. Not-so-platonic feelings, if the speeding up of your heartbeat in the past few days are any indication.

You only remember the second half of the lyrics when you’re on your sofa, the lyrics of the song that was playing in Renjun’s car.

If I'm on your mind You know that you're on my mind I don't want to fall in love alone

“I don’t want to fall in love alone either,” you say to no one in particular, the only accompaniment being the four walls of your studio apartment. You’re at a loss on what to do with Renjun, haunted by both the endless possibilities and the fear of rejection.

Love is hard when it comes to Renjun, and you’re not sure if all your experience with hosting will have any use.

It’s two days before Renjun sees you in the studio again. On Tuesday, he had been waiting for you outside, before Seulgi had fired a quick text saying you had called in sick.

When you were absent from your seat beside him on Wednesday, there had been a foreign feeling of emptiness in the studio, compounded by the fact that you had yet to reply Renjun’s messages. Even then, he tries to make the program as engaging as possible, assuming that you’re home resting.

It’s not the same, no matter how hard he tries. It’s not the same without you.

By the time you step into the recording booth, Renjun’s positively overcome with worry, ready to jump out of his seat and hug you at the sight of you well and alive. However, he’s not sure if it will overwhelm you. He decides to force himself to stay where he is, fiddling anxiously with his fingers as his eyes follow you around the room. You smile pensively at him when you catch his gaze. In truth, you hadn’t been sick. You were just scared of seeing Renjun, especially immediately after being confronted with the weight of your new feelings.

The introduction passes as usual, and you put in extra effort to make your voice bright and cheery after your absence, knowing that the listeners must have missed you. Even then, Renjun can detect a note of artificiality in your voice, almost as if you’re deliberately trying to present yourself that way. Maybe you’re still feeling sick, he thinks, and feels a pang of guilt for hounding you with his messages. However, he already has medicine in his bag, and a heat pack for you later, just to make sure you recover as quickly as possible.

You’re less talkative than usual today, giving short replies outside of the programme itself. Renjun tries not to let it unnerve him, but he’s not sure how to reach out to you.

“Renjun, can you read the next letter, please?” You ask cheerfully, the way your emotions switch up from lethargic to energetic becoming rather disarming to him. “Oh yes, of course,” he says, panicking slightly as he fumbles with his script, lost in thought.

Dear Ren-D and Y/N-D,

Hello! I’m not sure if you can call me a regular listener, but I’m very familiar with this program. I wrote this letter because of a very big dilemma I have. I think I have feelings for a good friend of mine, who also happens to be a colleague. But confessing might make our relationship awkward, and I don’t want to ruin it for us. At the same time, my feelings are so strong that I don’t know what to do with them.

“This is from user caramelmacchiato,” Renjun adds at the end, and you’re awfully silent as he looks at you, waiting to see if you’ll reply first. When you don’t speak after a while, he decides to go first.

“I think you should go for it,” he encourages, and the only thing he hears from you is a sharp inhale, causing Renjun to furrow his brows in concern.

“Often, we don’t have control over what we feel, or the people we like. I think it’s better to confess first. If he’s really someone you like that much, I’m sure he’s a good person who will understand your emotions, and the friendship won’t break apart that easily,” he continues, and you’re staring at Renjun now, a stricken expression on your face.

“And…for all you know, user caramelmacchiato, your friend just might like you back too.” Renjun’s mouth tilts up in a grin as he says it, his heart fluttering strangely for some reason. It definitely doesn’t help that your gaze is riveted on him, and Renjun runs a hand through his hair self-consciously. You’ve always made him nervous, even if you’ve known him for more than a year.

He quickly remembers that the both of you are on live broadcast, however, Seulgi and Jeno still watching. “Y/N?” he asks, and you shake your head as if clearing your mind from a fog.

“Oh, yes. Good luck, um…user caramelmacchiato.” Your voice is slightly high-pitched and squeaky, and it’s obvious you’re nervous, though Renjun can’t think of a reason why.

“As the night comes to a close, we have one last song for you. This is Fall in Love Alone by Stacey Ryan. Goodnight everyone!” You successfully bring the programme to a finale, and Jeno ends the broadcast.

Renjun’s quick to grab his things and make his way over to you, but you’re two steps ahead of him, almost jumping out of your chair once the microphone is off. He stares at you from where he is, and sees the same confused expression on Seulgi’s face. It’s unlike you to simply just up and leave, especially when Renjun is the one sending you home. And he doubts you have plans after midnight.

When he enters the hallway, there’s no sign of you, and Renjun worries his lip in frustration. He’s not stupid. There must be something wrong, somewhere. He thinks back to each of his interactions with you over the past week, picking each of them apart moment by moment in his brain.

The both of you had called to discuss the live broadcast four days ago, and ended up watching a movie together. And then it was the broadcast itself, where he sent you home afterwards. Where he had been so close to saying something that was on the tip of his tongue, but didn’t.

The next two days, you had disappeared without contact while you were sick.

There had to be something he was missing.

Maybe Saturday? But nothing happened other than the morning meeting. When the both of you had gotten breakfast after you bought him a matcha latte and got yourself a…

“Oh God,” he mutters to himself, the puzzle pieces falling into place. It’s not an entirely plausible idea, and Renjun’s pretty sure he’s making connections based on pure gut feeling. Still, it’s too much of a coincidence. Or maybe it isn’t. The way you’re acting, the song that you chose today to finish the broadcast, they fill Renjun’s heart with just the tiniest bit of hope.

He really has to find you now.

Renjun’s grateful he wore his better pair of sneakers today as he rushes out of the building, eyes scanning the place for your familiar figure.

It’s almost a solid five minutes of his heartbeat thundering in his ears until he spots you, walking in the direction of the intersection, and then he’s running.

Renjun reaches you right as the light turns green, grabbing your hand and causing you to spin around in shock. You’ve got your headphones on, and the sudden disturbance leaves your eyes wide in shock. You don’t even resist as Renjun drags you to a bench, motioning for you to sit next to him.

You guessed he would ask about your odd behaviour eventually. You just didn’t expect it to be so soon. The area is deserted except for the both of you, and Renjun’s still slightly out of breath as he sits next to you.

You don’t dare to look at him. It’s a cloudless day today, and you can see clearly even though there’s barely any lighting, thanks to the moon.

“Well, I’m sure you have something to say-” you start, but you’re quickly cut off by Renjun.

“User caramelmacchiato. That’s you, isn’t it?” His question causes your heart to stutter to a stop, and you’re hoping you heard him wrong. Still, the resounding silence tells you that you heard him exactly.

Honestly, you should probably have picked a better username. You’re kicking yourself for it now, realising you overlooked Renjun’s natural knack for observation. Your silence makes it obvious that he’s right, and the boy next to you lets out a soft sigh, causing your heart to fall slightly.

Your posture is tense, already prepared for the sting of inevitable rejection. “It’s okay if you don’t like me, Renjun, really, I’ll be fine-” you’re cut off by his palm over your mouth, and you stare at him incredulously. Renjun, for his part, looks frustrated, forehead scrunched as he turns to face you.

“Will you let me speak for one second?” He says exasperatedly, and you nod.

“I was right about the friend. He likes you back too,” Renjun mutters, and you stare at him for a few seconds too long before the words sink in. You push his hand away roughly, your lips falling open into an expression of shock.

“What?” Renjun shrugs at the disbelief on your face. “Is it that hard to believe?”

“No, it’s just that the both of us-” You’re quickly silenced again, but this time, instead of his hand, Renjun’s lips are on yours. He’s kissing you, and you’re frozen, eyes wide.

Renjun fills with alarm when you’re unresponsive, and he’s wondering if he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake. He’s just about to pull away, when there’s a tug on his hoodie. You’re kissing him back, and he can hear nothing but his heartbeat.

Renju’s not one for physical affection, but he thinks he might be dreaming. You’re definitely topping the list of people he doesn’t mind being touchy with, and he might just seek it out himself.

It seems like too soon when you finally pull away, but Renjun doesn’t mind. After all, he’s hoping that the both of you have plenty of time, to do….whatever this is. There’s still a tiny part of him, however, that fears the thought of you realising this was a mistake and running away.

That fear quickly disappears when you break out into the most radiant smile Renjun has ever seen, causing him to let out an exhale of relief, and you burst out in giggles at his expression. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy,” you confess, and Renjun’s heart feels so full, so light, as you lean against him.

“I think I liked you the first day you walked into our office. I was just too much of a coward to consider even dating a colleague,” you continue, and Renjun lets a fond smile make its way onto his face.

“If you’re a coward, then I’m an idiot for not realising sooner. Will you let me send you home now?” At your soft nod, Renjun extends a hand out to you, relishing the feeling of your smaller palm in his.

It may have taken a year of waiting, confusion, and a whole lot of running, but Renjun finally has you, and he’s never going to let you go, not if you’ll have him.

“Ren-D, some of our readers are asking about your first love. Do you have any fun stories to share?”

There’s a teasing lilt to your voice, and the only thing preventing Renjun from rolling his eyes is the fact that the camera is currently panned to him.

“No fun stories, unfortunately, but I do have a reader’s letter to share.”

“Oh?”

Renjun clears his throat, feeling strangely nervous.

Dear Y/N-D and Ren-D,

Yesterday, I finally found the courage to chase after someone that I liked, and looking back, I think they might be my first love. I didn’t realise it until they confessed to me first, but I found myself missing their presence unconsciously when they were gone. I think many of us don’t realize how precious someone is until they’re no longer there. Hence, to all the fellow listeners here, I hope that you’ll live without regrets, and bravely chase your first love no matter what!

“Oh,” you exhale softly, eyes wide. The letter was strangely sentimental, heavy for a program such as yours. You can see the comments flowing in, and you’re sure many of them feel the same as you now.

“This person is really good with words,” you comment, and Renjun huffs a laugh, almost like he’s hiding a secret.

“This is from user matchalatte,” he says, and you nod absentmindedly in response, before you freeze, head whipping to look at him. The corners of his mouth are tilted up in a smirk, and you’re staring at him, before realising that the cameras are now panned to the both of you.

There’s heat rushing to your cheeks now, realising that you know who exactly user matchalatte is. Of course it’s him. Only Renjun would think of returning the gesture, just to see your reaction on broadcast.

“Um.” You’re not yet able to formulate words to respond, even though you know that Seulgi and Jeno are likely in the other room watching you both, along with tens of thousands of listeners. Renjun lets out a soft laugh at your starstruck expression, and it causes your heart to skip a beat at his happy expression.

“The next song we have for everyone is Je T’aime by Joy. We’ll be back after the break!” Renjun smoothly takes over your line while you’re still distracted, and embarrassingly enough, it makes you melt even more.

The gentle notes of the starting piano play are audible throughout the studio, and you jolt with familiarity, eyes meeting Renjun’s. You had added this to his playlist while the both of you were drafting the program schedule, and even though he had been ambivalent to the song at first, you found the album sitting on your desk a week later.

Honestly, you should have realised it sooner. That he was the one you wanted to have morning coffee runs and midnight drives with. The person whose playlists you would listen to and whose favourite songs you would save.

Je t’aime. It’s an expression of love, but you don’t think all the languages in the world are enough to describe the way you feel with Renjun. He makes you feel like you’re floating, but at the same time the one who’s grounding you, a tethering force that makes you feel safe.

There’s a consistency to the way Renjun cares for you, the way he makes a space for himself so easily in your life that he feels like home. Having his love has already become a force of habit, one that you never want to break.

The beeping of the timer reminds you that the advertisement break is up, and you’ve managed to regain some semblance of composure externally, even though there’s still a light pink dusting your cheeks.

“Welcome back to Love.fm with Ren-D and Y/N! Today’s a chilly Friday evening, so let us accompany you into the weekend. Send in any romantic worries you have, and we’ll answer each and every one of them,” you start, and narrowly avoid stuttering when a hand encapsulates yours under the desk. You flash a warning glance at Renjun despite your previous nervousness, but the boy simply has a smug grin on his face.

Still, despite his teasing, you’ll gladly give anything to live in these moments forever, him next to you with his headphones on and script in hand.

Stay by my side like a delicate scent I guess I love you, I'm in love I hope this pleasant feeling will never change

[late-to-the-party-81]

Love, Lies & Electricity - Ch2

AN: Welcome to week 6 of @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer and part two of this story. Thank you all for your kind comments on this story. Catch up on part one here.

Again, beta’d by @drabbles-mc. Thanks, darling.

If you would like to be added to my tag list, click here.

Moodboard by me and dividers by @firefly-graphics

Likes are loved, Reblogs are golden/ Kudos are loved, Comments are golden.

Master List | HBS Master List

Challenges and Bingos:

HBS week 6 - I won’t be able to stop myself

Summary: It’s time for the mission. Despite having to be near Bucky and the rest of the ‘Do-good’ brigade, you’re looking forward to using your powers to bring down another pocket of HYDRA. Go in, blow stuff up and get out. Easy Peasy!

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Word Count: 4k

CW: Angst, Memories of Torture and Captivity, Flashbacks, Hand-wavy science, Kidnap, Drugging, Extreme aphrodisiacs

As the electricity crackled through your body, so did the pain. You were no longer screaming, but that’s because your throat was too raw to make a sound. Your vision was blurred, colours of blue and violet like tinted glasses over your eyes, making the octopus picture on the wall a sickly purple instead of blood red.

When the pain suddenly disappeared, you slumped in the chair where you sat, your bonds the only things stopping you from sliding off it. How long had you been here, being tortured? The day, weeks, and months had blurred together. It could be years for all you knew. Your life was divided into two parts; the before and the now. 

The ‘before’ had been when you were normal, a teenager looking forward to college. The ‘now’ had begun the day you’d started to do strange things like breaking any electronic equipment you touched, and giving off what you thought were static shocks. And those strange things had brought you here, in the back of a black van, pulled off the street.

You often thought about whether your parents were looking for you. Did they think you’d run away in a fit of teenaged petulance?

CRACK

You heard the noise at the same moment you registered the pain blooming across your cheek, and your eyes snapped open. One of your torturers had stepped close enough to slap you, bringing you out of your dissociation. As quick as a flash you managed to snag him with your hand, finding purchase on his arm. You grinned darkly and let your power flow. The man screamed, and tried to break free, but it was useless. The electricity you were sending through him had made his muscles lock.

However, your victory was short-lived. Your powers suddenly cut out as a bucket of ice water was thrown over you. The man dropped to the floor, where he was immediately surrounded  by his colleagues, who carried him away and out of the room. You had no idea whether you’’d killed him or not, your last sight being his burnt hand.

Still sodden, rubber boots were placed on your feet, and thick rubber gloves were pulled on over your hands. You were man-handled from your chair and dragged away, back towards your cell. There was no point fighting - you were too tired and in this state you couldn’t call your powers up anyway - but as you left you heard one of the scientists taking notes on his dictaphone.

“Subject 982 is making progress in her training. She appears to be able to control her powers a lot better, able to call on them to do her bidding as opposed to being a passive carrier of them.”

You smiled to yourself, letting yourself be pulled along. Your captors were so hell-bent on working out how your powers worked and how you could control them they hadn’t recognised they were walking to their own doom because one day you would be strong enough to escape, and you’d kill them all….

“Hey, are you okay?” Bucky’s voice filled your ears and brought you out of your reverie and back to the present where you were sitting on one of the bench seats in the Quinjet.

Still feeling discombobulated from being deep inside your memories, you scowled at him where he sat beside you. “Why wouldn’t I be?” you snapped. “You don’t have to worry - your mission is still on track. My powers are still working.” You held up your hand and let a small charge arc across your palm.

Bucky wasn’t able to hide his eye roll at your defensive response. “It’s alright to be nervous. You don’t have to put on a brave face. I know what they did to you, remember?”

If it were at all possible, your scowl deepened - it was probably a permanent feature on your face by now. “And I regret every day that I even told you all about it.” You crossed your arms and turned your head away, staring fixedly at a rusted rivet on the wall.

You heard Bucky sigh, and from your peripheral vision saw him make his way towards the cockpit, where Sam and Joaquin were chatting and piloting. You felt a pang of envy at the way he’d seemed to adapt to life after HYDRA. He had friends and a job that helped him feel as though he was making a difference. Bucky had first had Steve to help him, and now Sam and Torres. You had no-one. At one time you thought that Bucky could have been that support for you, but that was just a fading dream. 

You continued to stare blankly into space for the rest of the journey, until the jet finally set down in the forest about 2 miles out from the HYDRA base - you’d all have to walk the rest of the way to avoid detection. Luckily your route was shaded by the trees that also provided cover.

You walked mainly in silence. You ignored Bucky and Sam’s attempts to engage you in conversation, and only gave minimal replies to Torres when he asked you questions. Eventually, the three men gave up trying to talk to you and fell into step and conversation together. Bucky did have an annoying habit of looking back over his shoulder at you, but each time he did you gave him a withering stare.

A few hundred yards from the tree line, Sam brought you all to a halt.

“You ready for this?” he asked. “This is your last chance to say no and back out.”

You let out a bark of laughter. “I never back out or back down, Wilson.” You turned away from them and closed so you could concentrate. This particular skill was the hardest for you to obtain, but even so, after a few moments you could hear the air crackling around you and when you opened your eyes again the world had a violet overlay.

From behind you Torres let out a whispered “Wow!” and you turned back to face them, knowing none of them could see your wide grin. You couldn’t help but step forward and gently caress the Falcon’s cheek, watching him with amusement as he jerked back at the unexpected and unseen touch. 

Gaining the gift - the skill - of invisibility by manipulating the electromagnetic field around your body had been the one that had eventually led to you being able to escape. Now you were going to use it to walk back into the octopus’ lair. “See you later boys,” you called out cherrily as you sauntered across the open field in front of you and towards your revenge.

It didn’t take you long to cross the open space and had to bite back a chuckle as you realised that the main doors to the bunker were open, guarded by two Hydra goons. You resisted the urge to send 100v through each of them - you couldn’t give yourself away yet, not when the turrets above you were still operational.

Once inside, it wasn’t difficult to find your way to where you needed to go. Not only had you spent almost three days studying the schematics that Sam had obtained, the base was laid out quite logically and there was even some sign-posting. You snuck into the control room by tailgating one of the workers and now you just had to wait for the right moment. 

The man you’d followed sat down next to the sole other occupant of the room and they exchanged small talk as they lazily cycled through the CCTV feeds, both inside and outside of the building and you took the opportunity to identify which area of the console controlled the power to the laser defences. Eventually the second man got up and left - apparently it was his time for a break, and the idea that HYDRA let their personnel take lunch breaks struck you as ironic. 

You smiled ruefully and stepped close to the remaining man, reaching out your hand and letting your power build inside of you. Then, for some reason, you stopped. You shook your head as if to clear it. What was wrong with you? You’d been more than willing to kill those initial guards without a second thought, but here you were, worrying about the man in front of you. Did he have a family? Kids? Fuck! Had Sam’s righteousness turned you into a bleeding heart now?

Your power dipped, lessening in intensity and you took that final step. You tapped him on his clothed shoulder and the man jumped and spun around in his chair, confused at the apparent emptiness of the room. Then you reached up and touched his face. However, unlike with Torres, you sent a jolt of electricity into his body. His eyes rolled back and he slumped to the floor.

The violet filter in front of your vision faded away as you dropped your shield. Crouching down, you checked your victim’s pulse. His heart was still beating, so you’d apparently gotten the voltage low enough. His breathing seemed fine too.

Straightening up, you activated your comms. “I’m in,” you stated.

“Good. We were getting worried,” came Bucky’s reply.

“I don’t know why,” you sassed back. “I can take care of myself. Now, stand by.”

You stepped around the unconscious body and towards the power console. You could just shut it down, but then there was the risk that someone could come and get it back online again. Your best bet was to destroy it. You placed your hands on the metallic surface and began to build the charge inside you. It didn’t take long for sparks to start to fly and the console went dead. Unfortunately, so did the main lights. The only illumination now was from some red emergency lights. 

“Oops,” you said over the comms. “I might have taken out more than just the weapons.”

“We’re coming in,” said Sam sternly. “You sit tight.”

“Negatory, Sam. I’m a big girl. See you when you get here.”

You could hear the sound of booted feet running towards the room you were in, and you charged yourself up, ready to defend yourself and escape their clutches. The door burst open and you immediately let out an arc of electrical charge. It crackled through the air, bright blue and white, and the men who’d come charging in let out a collective cry of pain as the energy coursed through them and they dropped to the floor, unmoving. None of them had even been able to get off a shot, but you couldn’t rely on that happening with every engagement, so before you exited the control room you brought up your forcefield.

One of the other things you’d memorised in your study of the schematics was the location of the lab. You knew Sam wanted to gather as much intel as possible, but if these monsters had ‘test subjects’ down there, then you would ensure that none of what HYDRA learned from them could ever be used again, even by the ‘good’ guys. You strode down the corridor like an avenging angel, any trepidation about using lethal force now gone. Your shield protected you from HYDRA’s bullets and your charge dropped the soldiers to the ground - some gasping, some still. You didn’t give them another thought - they’d made their beds.

On the edge of your hearing came the sounds of fighting from other parts of the compound. The three musketeers had apparently entered the fray.

“Dynamo - come in!” Sam’s voice in your ear sounded worried, but you still winced at the ridiculous code-name you’d been given. “Where are you?” 

“I’m okay, Cap. Just got something to do - gonna see if they’ve got any experiments going on.”

“No, that’s too dangerous. Wait for back-up.” You rolled your eyes at his mother-henning and then let rip with another arc of electrical energy at the HYDRA soldier rounding the corner towards you.

“I’ve got it, Sam.” Fabulous, now Bucky didn’t think you could manage alone. “I’ll go catch up with her. See you and Torres topside soon.”

“I’m not waiting for you, Barnes. If you’re not fast enough you’ll miss all the fun.” You turned the corner and zapped another two guards, their bullets ricocheting off your shield seconds before they hit the concrete. They were the last two people standing between you and the laboratory.

As you entered, you looked around in confusion. The screens set up to show close-ups of the subjects in each cell were curiously blank, and the room empty apart from one man in a lab coat, sitting unbothered at a console in the shadows. You took a tentative step forward and the man looked up. “There you are, my dear. I’ve been waiting for you.”

His voice was familiar and you peered at him in the red gloom. “Who are you?”

He stood up from the console, but made no move to get closer to you. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember me well. You did have other things to focus on at the time. I will say though that you are remarkably impressive. But then again, I always knew you would be.” He pressed a button and one of the blank screens lit up.

You turned towards it and saw the inside of the control room. A man entered, the door staying open behind him for a heartbeat too long, before he sat down next to the other occupant. With a feeling of unease churning in your gut, you watched the events of ten minutes ago play out before you. You’d never seen what it looked like to others when you used your powers.

“This is my favourite bit.” There was glee in the man’s voice as the video replayed you taking out the initial response team without any qualms. As the ‘you’ on-screen left the control room, the view of the camera changed and followed your progress down the corridor, zooming in each time you electrocuted an opponent.

“We never managed to get you to react this viciously when we ran tests on you.” You registered that his voice seemed to be closer to you, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from what you looked like - the way the electricity sparked around your body and the expression of grim determination on your face as you advanced. It was only as his hand, encased in a thick rubber glove, gripped your arm that you realised the danger you were in. Your head whipped around to look at him, his features now clearer. His face was gaunt, with a hooked nose and sunken eyes the colour of sludge. His dirty brown hair was cropped close to his head and on his neck you could see the telltale scar of an electrical burn.  

Images flash through your mind of this face leaning over you as you lay bound to a reclining chair, your feet in freezing water. Of injection after injection. Of blood draw after blood draw. Of being shocked and then soaked as those eyes looked at you with glee. The feeling of his hand slapping your cheek was ingrained in your memories, along with his scream as you gripped him and burnt him.

You tried to back up, tried to pull your arm from his grip, but his fingers just tightened cruelly. You reached out with your other hand, pressing it to his chest and letting a charge run through you, but it had no effect. He grinned at you sickly, revealing yellowed teeth. “I know how to protect myself from you now, my dear.” He waggled one leg and you glanced down to see a thick rubber soled boot on it. You had no doubt there was a matching one on the other foot. “I’ve been waiting to get you back, to continue my work.” He caressed your cheek with the back of his other hand, also rubber-clad. “My greatest triumph,” he whispered, almost reverently and you felt bile rise in your throat.

“Get away from her!” Bucky’s voice echoed around the room and you let go of a breath you didn’t even realise you’d been holding.

However, the man holding you only grinned more broadly. “Oh look, my other guest is here. I was wondering when you were going to join us, Sergeant Barnes.”

“If you hurt her…” There was no empty threat in Bucky’s response.

“Why would I hurt her?” The scientist replied, cocking his head. “She’s like a daughter to me. A daughter who is going to make me a grandfather very soon.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What? Grandfather? I hate to break it to you, but I’m not capable of parthenogenesis.”

“Ah. Very funny. But that’s why we need the good Sergeant here. Just think of a child that had both your powers and the strength and endurance of a super-soldier. It would be the ultimate weapon. My ultimate weapon.”

You couldn’t hold back your laughter. “No fucking way. I mean, even if we liked each other, I can assure you, that we would not be creating a baby for you, you sick fuck.”

The sickening smile returned to his face. “You say that as if either of you have a choice.” He pulled a small device - black and shiny - from his pocket and pressed a button. A high pitched whine started, getting louder second by second and cutting though both your brain and your memories. Horrified, you looked back at Bucky, while struggling to get free. 

“EMP!” you shouted, but it was too late and the pulse hit you.

Pain flared though every nerve in your body and you went limp, falling to the floor. Through blurred vision you saw Bucky struggling with the dead-weight of his left-arm, looking down at it in shock and confusion. He recovered quickly though, and with a roar began to move towards you and your assailant. However, he didn’t get far, a burst of energy suddenly surrounding him. It reminded you of your own powers. Bucky dropped to the ground beside you and just before your vision faded to black you saw a multitude of black boots running into the room.

Your eyes blinked open, pain searing through your eyeballs as they did so. Swallowing back a hiss, you pushed yourself up into a sitting position, fighting the nausea.

“Careful,” came Bucky’s voice from behind you.

Trying to shake off the confusion you squeezed your eyes shut again. “Where are we?” you asked. “And how long have we been out?” As you spoke you realised something was very wrong. You opened your eyes once more and looked down. “And why the fuck am I naked?”

You turned your head over your shoulder and saw an equally naked Bucky, sitting with one leg bent up in front of himself upon a thin mattress. His vibranium arm was missing. “In order,” he replied, “somewhere else. If we were still in the bunker then Sam would have found us by now, or they’d be crowing about capturing him. Next answer, as far as I can make out, is about three hours, which does limit how far away we are from our original location. Lastly, I’d say the nakedness is something to do with that madman’s plan to get you pregnant.”

You shuffled around on your own mattress to face him, your legs crossed and your arms folded your chest. Just because Bucky had seen you naked before didn’t mean you were going to let him see again. Also, you had no idea who else was watching you. “But that’s insane. Just because we’re locked naked in a cell together doesn’t mean we’re going to have sex.” You looked up at the ceiling and raised your voice. “Do you hear that, perverts? You don’t get a free porn show today!”

When you looked back at Bucky it was to see a sympathetic and rueful look on his face. He opened his mouth, but seemed to think better of it and shut it again, but letting out a sigh.

“What?” you asked.

“Please - please - don’t take this the wrong way, but are you - umm - wet? Like, down there?”

You immediately recoiled, despite the distance. “‘The fuck sort of question is that? Apart from really inappropri-” Your screeched response broke off at the realisation that you were indeed wet. Given the circumstances you should have been as dry as the fricking Sahara desert, but your body appeared to be preparing you for the dicking down of your life. “What the fuck? And how the fuck did you know?”

He shot you another awkward look “Enhanced sense of smell, sweetheart.”

“That is really icky,” you said, giving him a disgusted look. You wanted to ask him if he’d always been able to smell you, but knew you had more pressing things to deal with. “But the thing is, why? Why the fuck is my body aroused? I can assure you it’s nothing to do with being in your naked presence.”

Bucky snorted at your comment, but quickly regained his composure. “I think they’ve given us something. Something to get us in the mood.”

“What makes you say that? Maybe my body is having a random moment.”

Bucky dropped his leg down revealing his erect cock. “Then I’m having a random moment too.”

You gulped, because - fuck – was his cock was a thing of beauty. You’d thought so since the first time you’d seen it, and that view hadn’t changed in the intervening months. You felt your core throb and your nipples pebble and turned your head away.

“We’re grown-ups,” you stammered out. “I’m sure we can just ignore it.”

“I’m not sure that’s feasi-” Bucky’s answer was cut off as he suddenly shuddered in pain. His eyes were screwed shut and his right hand clenched and unclenched. Despite your feelings about your relationship, a wave of concern washed over you and you stood up to check on him. However, as you did so, his eyes snapped open through the pain and he held out his hand to stop you.

“No. Don’t come closer,” he warned. “If you do, I won’t be able to stop myself. You might not be feeling the full effects yet, but I am. Whatever they’ve given us is very potent. I-” He was interrupted by another spasm and throwing caution to the wind, you moved to his side and placed your hand on his forehead.

“You’re burning up!” Bucky didn’t seem to hear your exclamation because he just turned his head, nuzzling into your decolletage and growling. A fresh wave of slick made its way down your thighs and his growl turned into a needy moan.

“The drug. It’s made the desire. So strong. But it’s also bringing. Pain. With it.” Bucky panted out his thoughts against your neck. You reached down and cupped his face with your hands, angling it so he could look up at you. His face was flushed and his eyes were glazed over. When his tongue peeked out to moisten his lips, you felt a tightness in your whole body - a need so strong it didn’t feel natural.

“Will having sex stop whatever is happening to you? What is happening to us?” you asked.

“I’m honestly not sure. But I don’t think they want us dead. We’re both too important to them.”

“So this pain is just to get us to break.” As you mused Bucky started to nuzzle against you again and his hips jerked up.

“‘M sorry. Sorry. I can’t - Oh god!”

“It’s alright,” you said, petting his hair gently as you had done in the past when he’d had a nightmare. You thought over all of your options but despite your feelings you were pragmatic. If Bucky was suffering this bad, what would it be like for you? You could already feel a tremble starting in your legs. What did you have to lose? “I think the only sensible option is to get this over and done with then.” Your matter of fact tone belied your nerves. “There’s no way we can escape with you like this, and who’s to say I won’t get it worse when it fully hits. We should at least try this.”

You shifted your arms to his shoulders and threw one of your legs over his, settling on his lap, his rigid length rubbing right up against your swollen and slick folds. Bucky blinked up at you, momentarily confused and then wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close and kissing you with fervour.

This was not how you’d envisaged this mission going, but here you were, about to do the one thing you’d sworn never to do ever again - have sex with Bucky Barnes.

Chapter 3

Tag list: @christywrites, @alexakeyloveloki, @wolfsmom1, @doasyoudesireandlive, @goldylions,

@galactusdevourerofworlds, @apenny4thots, @crayongirl-linz, @nicoline1998enilocin, @king814318, @blackhawkfanatic

@km-ffluv, @wheezy-stucky, @kmc1989, @kombatfather1796

[mushangaa]

Metal

2024/02 (full view) Water | Earth | Metal

Frida, the oldest, her element is Metal and boy does she know how to use it in combat. But instead of cold grey I went with a more loving interpretation. And Bismuth vibes. Iridescent Bismuth has all them colours of her sibs in it too. I talked a bit about her element in relation to Raphaels element (fire) in this post.

And I shall ramble some more in general under the cut.

I just love Frida, or rather the Frida I cooked up in my head since we never got her properly in rottmnt. She is rather mature and responsible, she has a lot of things to keep on top of on the farm and is very business about it, thankfully she shares that load with Raphael, the other oldest sibling TM. But beneath all that she is also a bit of a gremlin like the rest of the fam, she just grew up a little too fast in some ways, but she has not let go of all of that and beneath her mature ways and responsible behaviour there is still a mischievous lil girl that sometimes will engage with the pranks of the youngest or get into some shit with the twins or convince Raph to shenanigans if she feels he has been wound up to tight lately - or full on brawl with him with reckless abandon since those two can't hurt each other that easily since they are matched in strength so Raph can let go a lil of his control and so can she. And like I dunno how to properly explain it in English but Bismuth gains it's fancy colours when it is subjected to moist air (just like silver turns black after a while and so on) and normally it is just grey and I like to relate that to Frida who is a very dark bluegreen black hue and likes simple clothes and muted colours but on the inside she is just as colourful as the rest of them you just gotta give her room to get out of her shell so to speak and be a little less restrained just like you have to dig up Bismuth for it to become colourful. She also normally does not do dresses, she gets one in her family portrait here but usually she tries to not be too femme on clothes, for one she does not like skirts and dresses too much she has a lot of farm work and loves riding, neither of those make dresses practical to her and she'd hate for her father to buy her fancy stuff only to soil or rip it needlessly. She also kinda really dislikes how she gets treated if she does go with more femme clothing - see she is the oldest daughter and a great deal of their yokai neighbours and those in town have a lot of opinions about that. Like how she is approaching the age of needing to be wed and settle down. Or how she is a bit too headstrong and opinionated for a female. Or how she needs a strong hand to reign her in obviously since her poor wifeless dad obviously raised her too much like his boys and yadda yadda and if she does then lean more into her femininity they are all over that since now that.. that is more proper isn't it? Isn't it better like this? She looks so pretty. Anyway so like Frida does not reject her femininity in general but she totally rejects how people around her define it for her and there have been some hands thrown in the past with neighbour boys who tried to court her and on one beautiful occasion Splinter roundhouse kicked a neighbour through the east wall (which the whole family happily repaired together) of their farmhouse after he made some implications about her biological clock ticking and whatnot and maybe wedding her to one of his sons before nobody wants her no more. That all is to say, Frida doesn't exactly do dressed but she does this dress. She calls it her "dress I own for your funeral if you don't mind ya business"-dress. It has magpie colours and shimmers a bit in light, the bottom part has some white flowing feather like applications in there. She fell in love with that one so Splinter got it for her for the special occasions. Frida also is the only one of her siblings who inherited her dads eyecolour.

[youstopmyheartfrom50feets]

Violets for Roses (Part 2)

Part 1:- The Other Woman

Paring:- Remus Lupin x reader, James Potter x reader (formerly).

Trigger warnings:- Cheating/Infidelity, Divorce, kind of villianising Jilly but I love them with all my heart.

Angst/Fluff (Kinda). 5194 words. Longest piece I have ever written. Idk how to feel about this one. Let me know your feedback in the comments. They are really motivating.

Also, if you have any fic ideas, please let me know. I would love to give your ideas a proper shape.

A/N:- Sorry for the delay, I planned on posting part 2 right after the poll ended but I got busy with my college work (I'm starting my 3rd year in law school so my schedule is packed). Anyways, now that I have finally posted, I hope you enjoy this one-shot.<3

Play the above song for better reading experience<3

3rd Person POV

"No! I chose him before." She shouted at her twin, clutching the stuffed bunny tighter in her embrace.

"But I want it!" Lily whined throwing a tantrum.

"No! I won't give it, you didn't want it a minute ago." She protested.

"But I want it now!"

A bitter smile formed on her lips when the memory of their 10th birthday danced in her mind.

Her parents had brought them two stuffed bunnies, one pink and the other one yellow.

Lily had chosen the pink one and Y/N was happy with the yellow one but after a few days when Lily was bored of her toy, she wanted the other bunny, which Y/N had grown fond of. Despite her protests Lily had taken away the bunny that belonged to her.

A simple and silly memory but it held so much significance over the situation both the sisters were in again.

She was still laying on bed, facing the wall without a wink of sleep in her eyes.

All the tears she had formed and preserved in her eyes for the past 5 years of being with James, flowed freely tonight.

Now, she neither had any tears or any energy to spare.

She could see the light of the dawn seeping through the window. She got up from the bed. Her head was pounding and her eyes felt like fire so she decided to get a relaxing shower and headed straight to the bathroom.

When she looked into the mirror, she could barely recognise herself, she saw an exhausted and frail woman with dark circles and chapped lips.

She felt a ball of pain in her throat but her eyes were bone-dry. She had seemed to lose the ability to cry.

She tried to ignore the figure staring back at her from the mirror and started tending herself.

First she took a nice hot shower to fend off the exhaustion from her body. Then she put several potions and creams to make herself look presentable. She applied a potion to give her face a natural glow, a cream that instantly vanishes dark circles and so many more.

After half an hour, she was once again in her old, perfect form. Fiery, red curls complimented her face-cut, her cheeks looked like plump strawberries and lips appeared like soft rose petals, body clad in a beautiful white cardigan and pair of na y blue jeans but there was something off about her appearance. Her emerald eyes lacked the shine they once had. It seemed as if the rivers of sorrow that flowed through them last night took the bright sunshine from them, leaving a gloomy shadow over them.

She climbed down the stairs and glanced at the grandfather clock in the living room. It was 6 in the morning. It was Sunday so James wouldn't wake up before 9 or 10 so she decided to delay the breakfast and go look after her floral garden.

Flowers have always been her favourite creation by mother nature. They were sweet and beautiful, they were like her. She had what many of her friends called a green hand. Whichever plant she potted would grow up to be lush and healthy. She had used this talent to grow a beautiful garden in the backyard of the Potter Manor.

Her garden was now beaming with different colours of roses. But she didn't like roses, they were overly sweet smelling for her. She prepared different colours of bright violets. They were her favourite flowers but James insisted upon planting roses and she did what he asked her to without any questions. It didn't even click her back then, that roses were Lily's favourite.

Shaking her head, she got busy with her gardening but her mind kept on running a series of thoughts. She couldn't decide if she should confront James or if she should act like living in her bubble.

She started contemplating the possible outcomes from both the situations.

If she confronted James, there were two possible outcomes she could expect. First, James would feel guilty and decide to get separated from each other. Second, he would get defensive, and somehow manage to make her believe that she is the one wrong in the situation.

They had been in a similar situation when she has asked him about his past feelings for Lily in their seventh year.

They were in the Gryffindor common room, cuddling by the fireplace. The question had been bugging her for months and she knew she had to ask him or else it'll eat her form inside. It was simple question really,

"Do you still have feelings for Lily?"

To which he had replied in a very aggrevated tone,

"No! Whatever gave you that idea? I did fancy her at one point but now it's only you, y/n/n. No one take your place, it actually hurts me that you still don't trust me."

The next half an hour she had spent trying to convince him that she loved him and trusted him more than herself.

She knew she couldn't confront him. The thought of separating from James made her feel weird and sick in her stomach.

She knew it would be liberating, getting free from a bond that just takes from her and gives her nothing back but she didn't want liberation, she wanted to be imprisoned in his love, she wanted to be her Jamie's prisoner.

But she knew if she kept her feelings within her and act as if nothing's wrong, those jarred emotions will slowly kill her. They will suffocate her until she forgets how to breath.

She knew that if she chose to act as if nothing happened, life would become a living hell where she will degrade herself and stay with the rotting corpse of her dignity but she would get to keep James, even if she wouldn't have him all but at the end of the day, she will be associated with him as his wife and she will carry his name with her in the society.

She had to make a choice. A choice between suffocation and liberation. She was in a dilema but deep within she knew she would choose suffocation.

She was pulled back from her thoughts when she heard the loud crack of apparating that came from the front yard.

Upon reaching the front door, she saw the bright smiling face of her husband's bestfriend, Sirius Black.

"Hey Y/n/n. Sorry for not wishing you yesterday but I gave my wishes to James and told him to give them to you." Sirius explained whilst hugging her.

She had always been fond of Sirius, he was a living ray of sunshine, always bringing happiness with him. He always managed to make her laugh or atleast bring a smile on face. Today was no different. Even in a gloomy state of mind, he managed to make her smile a little.

"So what's in the menu?" Sirius asked plopping down on the couch.

It had become a tradition now. Sirius, James and her always had breakfast together every Sunday. She liked it, she liked to see her husband carefree and cheerful, joking around with his bestfriend. She always prepared a large buffet of breakfast for the three but with all that happened last night, she had forgotten about today.

"You tell me, I haven't started cooking yet." I respond from the kitchen.

"Hey, you know, let's just stall it for now, let James wake up and let him decide, yeah. Now come here and talk to me." Sirius suggested.

She knew he had noticed that something was wrong. Sirius never really asked her to sit down with him and have a talk. Their relationship was casual, she wasn't really a friend to him, she was his bestfriend's wife. Their relationship dynamics was as it was supposed to be so  his suggestion took her by suprise.

"What do you wanna talk about?" She questioned him, eyeing his demeanor.

"Well, I don't know, how was last night, how did you guys celebrate." He asked her carefully.

"There wasn't much left to celebrate as he was he was already drunk when he came home, stop pretending as if you know nothing about it." She let out a bit of her anger and frustration.

"I wasn't with him yesterday, I was with Moony....." Sirius seemed a bit surprised at first but then trailed off mid-sentence.

She would be lying if she said that she wasn't shocked to know that James wasn't with Sirius but then the realisation dawned upon her. He was with Lily last night, the night of their wedding anniversary.

There was a moment of deafening silence when she finally spoke.

"You know about her, don't you?"

Sirius gulped and replied,

"Who are you talking about?"

"Stop pretending Sirius, I know he's having an affair with Lily. He...... He took he-her name in bed last night." She croaked with a heavy voice, tears threatening spill.

Sirius was flabbergasted. He couldn't understand how to reply to that. He just sat there, his head hung low, unable to look into her eyes.

"Back in 6th year, when you made him ask me out, you knew he hadn't moved on from her." She questioned Sirius.

He didn't say anything and just shook his head in yes.

"And yet you let him be in another relationship. Why did you do that Sirius?"

Sirius lifted up his head and she could clearly see the guilt and regret in his eyes.

"I'll not hide anything from you and be honest. Y/N, we thought that you'll be a nice distraction for him and also serve as a jealousy-inducing factor for Lily." Sirius explained.

"But then, when she stood her stance, James thought you'll be the best replacement, so he proposed you." He continued with a quivering voice.

She couldn't do anything but take a long, shuddering breath. She waited for him to continue. To defend himself but as if reading her mind, he said,

"Y/N, I won't defend myself or justify my actions. I won't say that we weren't in our right minds because we knew what we were doing, I knew what I was doing. I could've stopped it, I could've stopped it all. I could've stopped him right there when he suggested you as a rebound, I could've stopped him from proposing you, I could've stopped him from marrying you and ruining your life but I didn't. A part of me thinks because I feel indebted to James. If it weren't for him and his parents, I don't even know if I would be alive, I owe him my life Y/N. But now, I realise that as a friend, I should've stopped him from doing such a big mistake." Sirius poured his heart out, his voice and eyes wet with tears.

There was a heavy silence between them. She didn't know what say. All of this was becoming hard for her to process. She felt the weight of the universe on her chest. Suddenly, Sirius broke the silence.

"I did stop him once, I asked him not to get with Lily behind your back once I got to know about it. He had told me about it after he had spent  a night with her. When he insisted that he was still in love with Lily but couldn't just leave you now that both of your families were involved, so he had decided to go behind your back. Trust me Y/N, I wanted to slap some sense into him but then that feeling of indebtedness came upon me and I did what I had done since I was 11, I agreed with him and supported him."

"Y/N, I won't ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve it but I want you to know that I feel guilty and I know that I am your criminal and I will forever be sorry to you." Sirius apologized.

"James tells you everything, doesn't he?" She questioned and he nodded his head.

"When and how did all of this start?"

Sirius just stared at her for a moment but then looked away from her and started speaking.

"When the two of you got married, Lily understood that she wanted James. So, she confessed to him about her feelings but James denied her because he really wanted to give you a chance. But now Lily was adamant, so she would try and woe James, using his past feelings against him. She would make suggestive comments, pay extra attention to him during family gatherings, visit him in the ministry and what not. James tried to avoid her until one day he caved in and the both slept together for the first time."

She felt like the world around her was collapsing and she couldn't help but sit in the middle of the apocalypse and watch.

After a few minutes Sirius got up and gathered his jacket, ready to leave.

"Sirius please, at least have breakfast." She pleaded.

"It's ok Y/N. I don't think I can eat or look James or you in the eyes." Sirius reasoned.

"Can I trust you that you won't mention this conversation to James." She inquired.

Sirius smiled a little and said,

"Yes you can, I'm a trustworthy dog."

This made her smile too. She went up to the door to see him off. Before leaving he turned around and said something that would keep her awake for several coming nights.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I should've just let Moony ask you out."

"What do you mean?" She asked with furrowed brows.

"Remus, he liked you, he was too shy to say it out loud, I almost convinced him to ask you out but then you started dating James so he kept quite." Sirius revealed the truth to her.

Those words wreaked havoc inside her. Weirdly enough, It made her stomach flutter. Why did she feel heat on the back of her neck?

"So you helped James to ask me out but also almost convinced Remus to ask me out. What was going in your head Sirius?" She questioned him, frustration laced in her voice.

"I helped James because I felt obliged to do so as a best friend, but I genuinely wanted Remus to date you because I knew he would have really kept you happy." Sirius explained.

"James and him had a huge fight before your wedding. Moony accused him of using you as a replacement and James asked him not to come to the wedding if it bothered him so much." He continued.

"Y/n/n, let go of James. I know it will be difficult for you but staying with James will slowly but surely kill you. Give Moony a chance, he'll show you what real happiness is." Sirius said in a serious voice.

"What if he has moved on?" She voiced her concern.

"He hasn't Y/n/n, I know he hasn't.

With that Sirius apparated with a flick of his wand.

There once again was a storm brewing in her but this time the storm promised to bring enough rain to quench the parched land suffering from drought.

Did Remus really like her? Did the guy who she had a crush on since 3rd year really liked her back.

It was true. She had always been fond of Remus. She even tried dropping hints at him for three consecutive years but when he didn't respond to any, she moved on. But there still was a fragment of her huge crush, hidden in deep, dark corners of her heart.

It seemed like today Sirius had illuminated that corner.

"Who was it?" James' groggy voice brought her back to reality.

"Sirius, he remembered some work so hel left." She lied to James avoiding eye contact.

"Huh, that's unusual but then again it's Padfoot so nothing's really unusual." James chucked.

It pinched her how James is just acting as if nothing drastic happened last night. He probably doesn't even remember what happened last night.

His presence, his voice, his existence was making it difficult to forget about last night.

All she could remember was how he moaned her name. She also remembered how he let her touch him last night. Only that the gesture wasn't meant for her, it was meant for Lily. It crushed her soul knowing that her husband forbade her from touching him while intercourse but let her sister touch him, provide her with the intimacy which belonged to her.

However, she decided to go with the flow as she was unable to fanthom the gravity of the situation she was thrown into overnight.

This haze went on for two weeks. Their anniversary was on 12th of January, today was 28th.

These two weeks were life-changing for her. She slowly kept loosing all the affection she held for James.

They say that it's easy fall in love but difficult to get out of it but she didn't feel the same.

Yes she fell for James easily but getting out of it didn't seem difficult. It hurt no doubt but slowly she had almost lost all the love and adoration she had for James. Now, she had nothing for him. She didn't hate him or dispise him but she didn't love him either. She had become numb towards him.

She shared her feelings with Sirius, who almost regularly visited her. They had grown quite close and she cherished this new-found friendship.

When she told him about her indifference towards James, he had remained quiet for a while and then asked her a question.

"What made you fall for him?"

She was taken by surprise because she didn't' know what made her fall for her husband.

After thinking about it the whole night she had come to the conclusion that she fell for James because of the extravagant efforts he would put into pleasing Lily and show his love for her. That's when she noticed him, and unbeknownst to her, she fell in love with the man who would go to any extent to show his love for his women. She craved that kind of love and when James asked her out, she saw a little ray of hope that she might get her portion of unconditional love from James.

When she didn't get that kind of affection from James, her mind created a bubble of false comfort that James loved her just like she wanted him to as a coping mechanism. This bubble was the reason she showered him with wholehearted affection and zeal because she thought he did so as well.

But since her bubble had burst, she knew James didn't really love her, so automatically her love for him diminished too.

Ever since she had accepted the fact that she was out of love with James, the world around her changed. She changed. The colours become brighter and she became more beautiful. She started caring for herself, cooking dishes that she liked and not just what James did. She started getting ready and dressed up, not for impressing James but because she wanted to.

It was as if she the moment she fell out of love with him, she fell back in love with herself.

She suddenly didn't feel like suffocating in her big house, she felt that there was a crack in her cage, letting in some fresh air. She would imagine her self roaming the streets of Hogsmeade, people around her happy and satisfied with their lives, a never-ending spring that brings nothing but joy.

Though, often while thinking of the outside world, she would see a man peering at her from the corners of the streets. A tall man with tawny hair and scarred face.

He had constantly been in her thoughts ever since Sirius told her about his liking for her. She had let go of any feelings she had for Remus back in Hogwarts, and now, somewhere it felt illegal to think about him. Whatever the situation is, that doesn't change the fact that he was still her husband's very close friend, though their contacts were limited.

But whenever she would allow herself to sway a little, she would remember the times they spent hours in the library, studying, chatting and giggling, how Remus would sneak her out of the castle to go to the Honeydukes sweet shop.

These memories would make her open to a possibility where they could do all of this again but with a little more intimacy.

There still were a million thoughts in her head but they didn't weigh her down.

She was lost in her thoughts, doing some household chores when the doorbell rang. She wasn't expecting anyone, 10 o'clock on a Monday morning.

When she opened the door, her eyes met with a pair of amber ones. Those eyes held a large amount of hope in them.

"Remus?" That was all she could whispered with a hollow voice.

"Hey dove, can I come in?" Remus greeted her with his usual charming smile.

Dove. That was the nickname Remus used for her all the time. Early on it use to be endearing but today, it made her stomach flutter, the same way it would when James called her 'love'.

"Yeah sure, come in." She let him in the house, taking him to the living room.

"What will you have, tea or coffee?" She asked him politely.

"You know neither right, I always prefer hot chocolate over the two." He smiled at her.

A big smile took its place on her lips too. He hadn't changed one bit.

She prepared two hot cups of cocoa and sit sat on the sofa chair in front of him.

"So, what took you two years to come visit me?" She taunted him slightly.

"I had my reasons and I guess you know them." Remus answered looking in her eyes.

"I'll cut to the chase y/n/n, Sirius told me about your unhappy marriage and I know what I am about to do is wrong and as a friend to James I shouldn't do it but as your bestfriend I have to. Dove, leave him." Remus said all of this in one single breath.

She kept quite as she knew he wasn't quite done yet.

"Y/n, I have...... I have loved you for years. Dove I wanted to ask you-."

"I know Rem, I know everything." She smiled at him softly.

"You do?" Remus was taken aback. He never told about his feelings to anyone except......

"Sirius played matchmaker again but this time with the right person." She explained.

She was in a constant war with herself on Remus's topic for the past two weeks but seeing him today ended the war in the favour of eternity with Remus.

"Rem, I think I wanna breath again, I wanna be free. I wanna be yours. I wanna be with you." She confessed.

She could see the happiness flooding his eyes and before she knew it, she was in his tight embrace. His hug felt like fire on a cold winter evening. She wanted to melt into him and be their forever.

"Wait a second." She went upstairs to get something.

She came back with a big envelope in her hand. Remus could see the shiny ministry logo on it. It was a legal document. He had his guesses as to what it could be.

"This is my gift for Lily. It's our birthday in a few days and I'm gonna gift her my husband." She stated.

"Dove, do you mind me asking what lead you to realise he was the wrong person for you. I mean, didn't you guys celebrate your wedding anniversary a few days ago." Remus asked.

"Yeah we did. That very night, he said her name when he was in bed with me."

Her words weren't explicit but Remus understood what she meant.

"Dove...." Remus whispered sympaticaly.

"Don't be sympathetic Rem, I'm actually glad this happened early on in our marriage and not late into it. James and I never belonged together, he belongs with Lily and I am the only obstacle in between them. Soon, I'll clear their path." She had confidence in her voice.

"Remus, I want you there, during my birthday." She insisted.

"Ofcourse." He replied sincerely.

After a few minutes of chatting, Remus left with a sweet kiss on her forehead.

She could still feel his lips lingering on her. It felt good.

The rest two days, she spent organising a small party with only their close friends.

The day before her birthday, James had an 'important work' out of town and had to stay there overnight. She knew what important work he had. He wanted to be there with Lily at the midnight to be the first one to wish her.

She didn't mind though because of her numbness toward James. She didn't even insist him to stay.

As promised, James had returned in the evening for her party. He entered with Lily by her side.

"Look who I brought." He had said enthusiastically.

The party wasn't a wild one but everyone who came enjoyed.

She had only invited close friends, whom she imagined knew about James and Lily. There were the Marauders, Frank and Alice, Marlene, Dorcas and Mary.

The party went on for a long time and after cutting the cake, everyone started giving out presents. At the last, only the birthday girls had to give each other their presents.

Lily had bought her a beautiful heart shaped locket which smelled like her favourite colone.

It was now her turn to give Lily her gift.

So y/n/n what did you get me?" Lily asked her.

She looked at Lily, then James and then towards Remus. He smiled at her and gave her a nod.

"Just a second." She replied and went upstairs in her bedroom.

When she returned, she had a big envelope in her hamds. With thudding heartbeats, she approached her twin. She handed over the envelope to Lily and whispered,

"Happy Birthday Lils."

Lily smiled at her and started opening her gift.

She held her breath with anticipation and waited for Lily to read the papers.

When Lily looked up, she had tears in her eyes.

"Y/n/n, why would you do this." She whispered with a teary voice.

Maybe it's the twin thing or maybe it's her old habit of crying if a person in front of her cries but she could feel tears prick in her eyes.

She took a long breath and spoke,

"It's for the best Lily, I wanna be free, I want to be able to breathe again." She explained.

The atmosphere of the room had suddenly changed, James had gotten worried seeing both sisters cry.

"What is it Lily, what are the papers about?"

James enquired.

"They're our divorce papers James. I'm leaving you so that you both don't have to sneak behind my back anymore. You two can now be together without me coming in between." She said, trying to control her crying voice.

"WHAT?! Have you lost your mind Y/n, what are you talking about, who provoked you? James yelled, side-eyeing Remus.

"Nobody provoked me James, it's just something that happened that cleared my doubts." She explained in a calm tone.

"What happened?" James demanded.

"You wouldn't want me to say this in front of your friends."

No I want you to tell me the reason, I don't care if it's in front of my friends, you've already created a scene, what's the worst that could happen."

"Fine, you want the reason, so here's the reason. On the night of our anniversary, you moaned my sister's name in my ear while making love to me." She stated sternly.

James didn't say anything and just hung his head low. He doesn't remember anything of such sort but he knows that he must've done it.

"James, I don't hate you for this, I could never hate you, it's just that I don't love you anymore. So staying with you will be a waste of time and energy for both of us. Lily, I don't have any hard feelings for both of you either. You'll always remain my favourite sister and that's why I want to see you happy. I know you'll be happy with James."

"What about mom and dad and what about Fleamont and Euphemia, they'll be heartbroken." Lily sniffled.

"Should've thought about that before cheating on your sister Lily." She sighed.

"Tell them it was my fault, that I didn't want to stay with you anymore. I've signed the papers and given my testimony to the ministry officer. You'll have to do the same and the procedure will be over." She addressed James.

"Can't we work this out?" He asked her sincerely, not meeting her eyes.

"We don't need to James, I'm not mad at you. James, we both are two different people. I didn't realise this earlier because I didn't wanted to. I really wanted you to love me the same way you love her. But you traded my violets for her roses. You wanted y/n to be Lily. The things that you love are the things I hate. It's simple James, I'm choosing this life. I'm choosing myself."

With that being said, she got up, went upstairs to get her already packed suitcase and left the Potter Manor once and for all. She apparated straight to Remus's house.

Remus followed her shortly but before leaving he had to say what he wanted to say for the past five years. Remus looked into James' eyes and said,

"I can keep her happier than you ever did and I will. No hard feelings mate."

With that he apparated back to his house as well.

When they finnally sat down on Remus's couch, she looked at him.

He had nothing but pure adoration for her in his eyes.

"Can I kiss you dove?" He whispered quietly.

She didn't say anything but leaned into him. Their lips fit each other like puzzle pieces and the bliss she experienced was like never before.

At that moment, Remus did make her happier than James ever did.

One Year Later

There's something in the air of Hogsmeade. It felt fresh and sweet. Maybe it's the first summer breeze. Summer was her favourite season.

She didn't want this sweetness to change, she wanted it be real, she wanted it to be beginning of something happening.

"You ready dove?" Remus's sweet voice came from behind her.

"Yes" She replied taking in a deep breath.

They both held eachother's hands and apparated to the same barn where she married James.

The wheat field shone like gold under the sunlight.

"The camera's all set, let's do it." She excitedly.

They both sat down on the ground, the sun shining over them and looked deep into each other eyes.

Y/n then thought to herself that she won't be all alone, she'll always have her Rem by her side.

--------x----------x---------x------

[thoughtformchoreographer]

VYVYAN WAPITI. - My Trollsona! :)

So I received a few questions about who exactly Vyvyan is, and I am making this post to answer properly.

He is my trollsona! :) And also a character that I very shamelessly inserted into my Ampora ask blog because there is something wrong with me. Also, I am not a virgo, I am actually an aquarius (go fucking figure), and Vyvyan is only a jade blood because I took a quiz and it said Jade better fit me personality wise, and honestly I kinda agree. Anyway- this post will include some art of him, and also like, basically everything about him, for anyone who's interested. <3

(Sorry if any of the art is low-res. I had to compress some of it cus I work on big canvas sizes :( )

HOMESTUCK MANDATED CHARACTER FACT FILE:

NAME: Vyvyan Wapiti (Pronounced Vivian Wah-pee-tee. Vyvyan is my middle name, and Wapiti is a type of deer.) HANDLE: thoughtformChoreographer AGE: 12 sweeps old (at the time of the ask blog. During Sgrub, he was 8.) GENDER: Male, he/him` HEMOSPECTRUM: Jade blooded LUNAR SWAY: Derse GOD TIER: Sylph of Mind QUIRK: Starts sentences with --<<, meant to represent a tree. Ends sentences with 4242. . Replaces a/A with 4, and s/S with 2. Speaks with full grammar and punctuation, using caps and more punctuation for exaggeration. Will also occassionally use smiley faces in his text. LAND: Land of Trees and Change STRIFE SPECIBUS: Lanternkind SYLLADEX MODUS: Confessionary Modus (Every item in his sylladex is assigned an emotion/thought process. Vyvyan has to outwardly say how he is feeling or express a self affirmation to get an item out of his modus, which is a good way of keeping himself and processing his feelings on the regular.)

WHO EVEN IS THIS DOUCHEBAG? WHAT DOES HE DO? WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?

Vyvyan Wapiti is known on Earth-C as the "licensed professional who owns the Nature and Rehabilitation Centre". He is in charge of the facility, which is basically a mixture of a rehab centre, private hospital, mental ward and nature exhibit all in one. He is also part of the "Sburb/Sgrub Rescue Team" which will be mentioned later. He was granted these positions by Karkat, and Karkat was also the one to assign Gamzee to him as his first (and most prioritised) patient. Gamzee was incredibly volatile and was struggling to recover when first introduced to Earth-C, and everyone else was too scared or ignorant to try and help him, so Vyvyan took up that role, and his condition has since improved. He is, however, unfortunately stuck in rehab possibly for the rest of eternity, and lives there with Vyvyan.

Vyvyan makes occassional appearances in the Ask The Ampora's ask blog as Dualscar's caretaker, also. Dualscar appears to dismiss Vyvyan quite often and refuse his care, of which Vyvyan imposes on him, as jade blooded sylphs typically do.

WHAT'S THIS GUY'S DEAL?

Vyvyan appeared in Earth-C along with his friends (Castor, Linnea, and Autumn) after having completed Sgrub with flying colours and basically as little difficulty as it gets with a game so complex and traumatising. There is little explanation for why these 4 did not reap their reward of a new universe, however they all agreed the game must've deemed their session too easy, and decided they should merely live in someone else's won universe as opposed to creating their own. None of them are unhappy with this, as they were each granted positions they are quite content with, Vyvyan especially.

He and his friends run the "Sburb/Sgrub Rescue Team", a group dedicated to contacting players from doomed or infertile sessions to try and save/preserve/console them in numerous ways that would not disturb the flow of time and space. Most of these endevours are somewhat fruitless, however, they did manage to save the "Stuck...Stuck?" crew.

OKAY, BUT LIKE, THE JUICY STUFF. WHERE'S HIS TRAUMATIC BACKSTORY?

Back on Alternia, prior to Sgrub, Vyvyan was a very atypical troll. For starters, jade bloods are already rare as it is, especially male jade bloods, as most are female. Not only that, but he was not the most responsible of trolls. He was in charge of caring for a mother grub, as all jade trolls are assigned to do so. However, having lived in deep forest for most of his life, he became addicted to the effects of mushrooms he found within said forest. The effects of the hallucinogenics he would ingest quite often would leave him very mentally and physically unwell, and unable to properly care for his lusus or himself. One day, his mother grub died of unknown causes - however, Vyvyan's neglectfulness and deteriorated mental state was the main blame of this untimely death. The mothergrub was too young to have created a matriorb, and Vyvyan was sure to be culled for the failure he had become. However, when sitting aimlessly waiting for death and nook deep in a bad trip, a similarly atypical deer-like lusus found him. He was adopted by it, and given a second chance instead of slaughtered like any other in his position would have been. His new lusus quickly corrected his behaviour, teaching him what was/was not safe to forage, how to help himself, and eventually, how to help others. As Vyvyan grew up, he realised there was not much mercy on Alternia for those struggling from mental disorders. The heavy stigma meant there were almost no outlets for support. His big dream was to create something similar to the human concept of therapy and counselling, but for Alternia. This was an impossible feat to accomplish, until, of course, Sgrub happened. When introduced to Earth-C, Vyvyan was finally given the resources needed to create such an outlet for trolls in need of help. And he now spends his days spreading this kind forgiving treatment to anyone who may require it.

WHAT A LOSER LMAO.

Anyway yeah!!! Thats my lil guy :)

Some additional info ig:

He is dating Autumn, @digitalminstrel's trollsona (she is my gf irl :3 hehehehe!!!! <3 )

He is close friends with Linnea (@henryscircus) and Castor (@seeingstarzz)

Vyvyan is NOT a rainbow drinker, but feel free to ask him about this!

He and Gamzee are soulmates, however have not properly discussed this and therefore have not realised their potential for moiraileagence. This is because Vyvyan's JOB is to look after Gamzee, and Vyvyan does not properly realise how defensive he can get with Gamzee even when not in his presence. To his other patients, it is quite obvious he has a favourite. The 50/50 is Vyvyan acting as the stand-in lusus Gamzee never had, and Gamzee being on his best behaviour and even physically protecting Vyvyan like a guard dog should he become endangered (which happens unfortunately often, as some of his patients can be quite volatile as Alternian trolls are not entirely used to the whole idea of therapy).

He still likes foraging, and part of his daily activities with recovering patients is going on long walks, specimen watching (birds and bugs), observing rivers and other natural structures and (Gamzee's absolute least favourite) early morning hiking.

Vyvyan's quirk is a nod to 42 being my special number. It is also a nod to 42 being the answer to the universe.

He has a very slight lisp

Vyvyan does not speak to all of the heroes and doomed trolls on Earth-C, however has interacted with Eridan (who visits Gamzee sometimes), Tavros (who visits Gamzee frequently), Equius (who comes to rehab for anger management and anti-castism), Karkat (who appointed him to have such a facility in the first place), Gamzee (his first patient), and Sollux (who is contacted whenever the Rescue Team base encounters power outages or other technical difficulties.)

Vyvyan is diurnal, and unfortunately, Gamzee is now as well. Most of his other patients are nocturnal, and so Vyvyan sometimes does both day and night shifts. He wants more people to work at the centre with him to help him run it, however the only person who tried to sign up so far was Kankri, and Vyvyan did not see him fit to be a therapist just yet. (--<< Ther4pi2t2 need to uh... Do le22 t4lking, 4nd more 4ctu4l li2tening to their p4tient2! 4242.) ANYWAY YEAH so thats my trollsona. Thank you for reading if you at all bothered :) feel free to ask him anything!

[cartierdreamx]

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝕿𝖔 𝕱𝖆𝖑𝖑 *1*

OMG HI MY SWEET LOVES <3, I hope you’re doing well, and your week was great! I am so so so excited to share with you the first chapter of my new Mafia AU series, and I am even more excited to write it (the love you showed to FAD and my drabbles warm my heart so so much), I don’t want to reveal but because I want you to read that, but I will say both you and Jenna are 25 in this story, something about 25 just seems like the right age for this. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and if you do, please consider reblogging, following and commenting! Thank you all for your constant love and support! J <33 

If you would like to be apart of a taglist so you know when the next chapter comes out, comment down below or let me know thru asks!! 

Pairings: jenna ortega x fem! Reader 

Warnings: slight angst, slight dark themes, swearing, mentions of weapons and violence. 

This fic is STRICTLY 18+, as it involves adult themes, minors DNI, you are responsible for your own social media intake, which includes reading entertainment which this fic falls under, so one last warning- this fic is 18+. Thank you!

FYI: JENNA IS G!P IN THIS FIC!! 

~~

Words flow through you with ease, you inhaled words the same way oxygen seeps into your body, and like carbon dioxide leaving, what left instead, was art. Your art. So, journalism was destined for you, it was your calling, you would have gone into publishing but there was something about people that drew you in, and there was the fact that you lived in the Bay area, your home, well developed into your home, you moved a few years back because something in you sparked and said to move, you knew the opportunities would be great, and you proved yourself right. You found yourself working for an independent, yet big journalism company right in the heart of Silicon Valley, the tech city, right where the hearts of Google and Apple reside. They pay good money, having saved enough to rent out a loft close to work and have your own car, a black Toyota 86 with a custom spoiler and a lip kit wrapped around the body and the colour so deep and rich, Batman would be jealous. But there was one thing that was missing, rumination would fill your mind, if journalism was destined for you, why couldn’t the heart of someone be too. Love. You were missing love, what’s yours will come to you and everything happens for a reason would be a constant mantra of yours, but patience was a draining one, and love is a losing game. Not to worry, your words would keep you company and that would be enough, right?

“Y/N!” Solana calls out for you, your boss, manager, bff, mother, every occupation under the blazing sun, she’s that to you.

The corner of your mouth connects to your ears and your eyes widens as the auditory sounds hit your ear drums. You loved her with your whole heart,

“How’s my sweet girl doing?” She rushes towards you with such sass, it makes you giggle.

“Better now that you’re here.”

“Awww, I love youuuu.”

“Huh?” You giggle, extending your hand out to grab the drink she clearly bought for you, then giving her a mocking wink.

“Oh, you dickhead.” Solana exclaims as she realises your sweet confession was directed towards the ice latte.

A soft tsk leaves her mouth as she rolls her eyes at you, as she leans over your shoulders, she reads over what you’re writing. You were a talented writer, everyone wanted you and not just journalism, anything that included writing, they wanted you. But for some reason Solana’s company ‘Bayseyes’ reeled you in, it felt like second nature to you, it felt like home, electricity rooted in your fingers when your touch met with the keyboard during your trial shifts when you were a rookie, no other branch made you feel this way. And plus, you really loved how ‘Bayseyes’ wasn’t toxic, the information was fished out and you and your colleagues had high rating articles, but no negative connotation was linked to you guys unlike other journalism and tabloid companies.

“This is good y/n.”

“Aw, thank you.”

“If you worked at TMZ.”

“OKAY OUCH, if you hated it just say that smh.”

“Y/N, it’s good, but I know you to be amazing, scrap this and write a new one.”

“Okay, be honest, are you trying to murder me? I feel like a 10-inch knife has just been plunged deep into my heart, I’ll write a new one but you’re giving this story to a rookie, this is too beautiful to be deleted off this sweet universe of ours.”

“You are so dramatic you know that? Fine.” She was right, you are dramatic, but in a fun, ironic way, it’s what made people laugh and what this world needed was more laughter, as sad as it sounds, you used that same dramatics and turned it into a play when foster parents would meet you, whilst at the same time, flaunting that big heart of yours. However, fostering is easier said than done, every change of parents and every house you had to learn the layout of, was never your fault, you were so loved, but you can’t help but blame the change on you each time, if you were so loved, why didn’t you have a home. You were close once, almost about to have your forever home but problems with the system always won. Almost is never enough.

A bright, mocking smile paints you face as Solana scoffs at you, she always gave into your needs and want, but you always provided her with what she needed, in every form, so she can’t help but have a soft spot for you, giving in to your commands.

“So, what is my little rising star going to write about?”

“Hmmm royal family? The coronation, OH! There’s talk that there was a paparazzi high speed chase with Meghan and Harry.”

“Like every other journalism branch? We’re not TMZ babes, we’re better.”

Folding your arms and leaning back into your chair, suffocating Solana’s fingers, you scoff out of disappointment. Feeling Solana’s fingers squirm out from the space between your back and your chair, you swivel around to face her.

“Well, I don’t know what you want, everything has been milked.” As the words leave your tongue, you see her mouth form a smirk paired with a smug look. “Sol, what did you do?”

“Yes, everything has been milked, but not this.” You see an emerald, green paper with hints of gold flash into your eyes, the glossy material reflecting off the lights. Your lips purse inwards and your eyebrows scrunch down, if confusion ever knew your name, now was when it screamed it.

“What is that?”

“Well Ms. L/N, this, this is rarer than any diamond, pearl or ruby out there, you’ve been invited to Jenna Ortega’s annual masquerade ball.” Her smirk now turning into a cheese, a cheese so wide it was starting to creep you out.

“As in, mafia leader Jenna Ortega?”

“Yup!” She says ever so positively.

“As in, most feared women in San Francisco, HELL, maybe in America?”

“Oh well, that’s subjective.”

“NOOO, it’s fact.” An obvious annoyance paints your face as you bite the right side of your lip, knowing there was no fighting this, as much as you didn’t want to attend, you couldn’t say no to her, and plus, this invitation is so exclusive, more exclusive than the MET, which you, not to sound snobby, you’ve been to, not as a guest though, but obviously as a journalist.

“You’re going Y/N, that’s final, I’m speaking as your boss, we need this, YOU need this. No one has ever been close enough to her to get an exclusive, it’s always been assistants on top of assistants on top of body guards, I need you to work your charm.”

A big sigh escapes your mouth, your sign of submission and defeat, looks like you’re going to attend. You can’t help but feel a small strike of lightning hit your aortas though, but your pride was too big for you to ever admit that to Sol, to be fair, you can’t remember the last time you went out and enjoyed yourself, though you can’t promise you’d enjoy this ball, you can’t remember the last time you got dressed up, baddie up, just in general felt pretty about yourself. So that, and only that had you excited, oh and maybe the little fact this story could make you, Sol, and anyone under the name of the company MILLIONS.

“Okay fine, but only for work.”

“Oh sweetie, I want you to get laid too.” The same cheesey smile back plastered on her face as wide as the curve of a banana was really starting to get to you now.

“If I say fine, will you stop leering at me with that monstrous smile of yours.”

“Yes.”

“Fine.”

“Okay my smile is back to normal now, but I’m serious, thought I want you to write a global hit, I also want you to have fun, you’re 25, Jenna is 25, I want some grandbabies.”

“WOAHHHH SLOW YOUR ROLL, first of all you’re 33, no grandbabies, second of all, no! I’m not hooking up with the head of the Ortega mafia family, and definitely not getting pregnant.”

“But she’s hot.”

You throw your hands up in the air and swiftly placed your face in them once you brought your arms down.

“Just because she’s hot does not mean I’m getting pregnant.”

“AH HAH, so you agree she’s hot!”

“Okay that’s it.” You stand up and start grabbing your things, trying to shake off what Sol just insisted.

“Waitttt, where are you going?”

“Lunch, away from you.”

“NOOOO, I was kidding, okay fine, at least have lunch with me, you can try on your dress.”

“You have my dress already? Wait- when is it?” Sounding hesitant, thinking you had more time until the ball.

“Heh, tonight.”

You freeze and stop in your tracks, a million thoughts illuminating your mind, what’re you going to wear, make up, shoes, hair, hookups??? And maybe the fact that you’re going to be in a room highlighted with the word danger. Not saying that weapons would be blazing all over the room, but you felt a sense of caution attending, Jenna had enemies, it’s the mafia, without enemies are you really in the mafia. Her main enemy though was the other mafia family, the hierarchy goes Ortega and then Marcello, they were also feared but Ortega was more liked. You never liked that life, the whole mafia thing, sure it was family oriented, and they never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it, no women, no children, well Ortega anyways, Marcello ran on different values, they were ruthless, but they knew better than to cross Ortega’s lines, it was the one thing they feared, and they could never find a way to make Jenna vulnerable, Jenna would loves herself and the family too much to let herself be vulnerable. She is Bay city’s most feared and most eligible bachelorette.

“ARE YOU INSANE? THERE’S NO TIME.”

Sol cups your face and blows on you “there is plenty of time, you’re leaving early, we’re going to get lunch, then you’re going to try on your dress, you get ready, and I will do your hair and makeup, make Jenna fiend for you.”

“You have got to calm it with Jenna.”

“Yeah, whatever come on.”

~~

Back at your green infested loft, adorned with all the books, warmth, and plant babies you could ever imagine, you get Sol to place a blindfold on you so the first time you’d see the dress is when she takes off your blindfold in front of your mirror.

“Are you ready?”

“Very.”

As she takes off the blindfold, your eyes take a second to focus on your figure in the mirror, a floor length, ruby red dress drapes and cherishes every beautiful curve of yours, the high slit showcasing your leg accentuates your ass, every cinch of the corset top pushing up your ample bosom, with just enough fabric draping over your shoulders, but not enough to call them sleeves.

“Wow.” Was all you could muster up to say, shocked at how glistening your beauty was, you can’t remember the last time you felt this way about yourself.

“Wow, indeed, but honestly, you deserve more than a wow, you’ll capture everyone’s eyes, and especially Jenna’s eyes.”

You let out a soft giggle, opening your arms and taking her in, “thank you so much for this.” She was taller than you so one hand rests on your head and the other around your back and waist whilst your arms bear hugged her entire waist.

“You deserve it, love, now come on, we have to do your hair and makeup.”

~~

Stepping into Ortega towers was every bit of excitement and nervousness all at once, like you were going to throw up but instead of germs and digested food, it’d be confetti. A red carpet was rolled out for guests and paparazzi hugged both sides of walk behind golden ropes, you were a nobody, so you wanted to swift your way into the building. You couldn’t help but take in the city views even if you were at ground level, and the towering building in front of you captured every breath in your lungs, it was an architectural dream, heights reaching mountains but curves and twists and openings everywhere you looked. There were two main towers, the roots of the building curving towards each other and then straightening up with a long adjoining room, connecting one tower to the next, assuming that is where the ball is being held. And as if that wasn’t enough to impress you, there was one more adjoining room at the very top, like a princess keep at a castle, but instead of being the size of a small bathroom, it was the width of both towers and the gaps in between, you could only assume that is Jenna’s penthouse. Sources online stated that the towers was home to the Ortega family, where Jenna spent the most time, where missions and meetings were officialised, an office space for hundreds of workers, and a tactical space for hundreds more body guards and loyal subjects, and a small rumour suggests that there is an unground vault filled all the riches you could imagine, and of-course, every weapon they needed.

The blinding lights stung your eyes, but luckily it took a matter of seconds for you to get in. Though your gold mask with intricate designs hugging your face didn’t help as the lights just reflected gold flashes into your eyes, part of that mask covered the top left side of your face and your entire forehead, leaving the right side naked but the mask hid your identity enough. You were met with security looking at every guest’s invitation, handing them yours, you were given the okay, batches of people swarm the elevators trying to get to the ball. Luckily you didn’t have to try that hard as, despite the hundreds of guests attending, everyone was calm, collected and all listening to security, though it might’ve been the fear that coerced them to submit to their instructions.

Once the elevator doors open the lively music entered your ears which made you laugh a bit, despite this ‘party’ being a masquerade ball, there was youth in the air, no boring classical music, but you were sure that they’d be some of that later in the night. Your first instinct was to dash for the bar, free drinks, free food, and you planned to make Jenna’s pockets hurt even just the tiniest bit, but then that motivation was short lived when your slow ass finally realised that this ball would have thousands of sponsors and donations.

“Hey! What can I get you?” A bartender greets you with a warm smile.

“Pornstar martini, please.” Keeping it on the sweet side, and plus you didn’t want to make a face every time you took a sip out of your drink because the alcohol taste was too strong.

“I like your style, ma’am, coming right up.”

You take mental notes of your surroundings and what your vision is telling you, you would’ve brought along a small note pad or pulled out your phone, but now was not the time, and you’d be caught dead before someone thought of you as that cliché quirky girl trying to be different so you could catch someone’s attention. Noting your surroundings, you see a bunch of masks, no shit, but you realise all the workers and body guards had matching suits, uniforms and masks, workers and body guards having different looks but under those subcategories, they were all matching, it was cute but a bit cliché you admit. Not wanting to expose yourself as a journalist straight away, you make small talk with the bartender, asking questions that wouldn’t compromise you.

“Soooo, I’m kinda new to this scene, who do you think is worth my time?”

“Well ma’am, look around and try to scan people’s faces and mannerisms, I’m sure you’ll be able to spot out some celebrities, find the ones you love and charm them, they’ll make great company for tonight.”

“And the host?”

“Heh, Ms. Ortega likes to keep it on the downlow, if you catch her attention, she’ll come to you, but her groupies always get to her first, and because their hearts are filled with greed and lust, they’ll never give her back to the party.”

“Lust rearranged is slut, KIDDING, KIDDING, I’m sure they have their reasons of wanting her.”

“No, you’re right, cus all they want is money, never genuine, always just sex.”

“But Ms. Ortega is a playgirl, she enjoys it too much to let them go?”

“Right on the nose ma’am.”

You give gratitude to the bartender for keeping you company and allowing yourself to get comfortable and adapt to the scene, but you had to let them go and do their job or I’m sure someone would’ve complained or worse, someone might’ve thought you were hitting on them or vice versa. Making small talk with strangers always pained you but you were good at it, one of the many perks about journalism, the information you want, you’d get it one way or another. But alas the open bar finally catches up to you when a tall, with a heavy dusk scent interrupts a rather pleasant conversation with the superiors of a pharmaceutical company.

“Heyyy, baby.” He slurs, trying to inch closer to you grabbing your waist but you wiggle out of his grasp, standing your ground behind your company.

“Sir, you have no business disturbing this young woman.”

“Well, you have no business disturbing the party in my pants, this young woman was going to attend.”

His comments made you sick, your shoulders tense up as you try to shake the feeling of his touch away. You had the tendency to shut down during situations like these, you want to scream, want to stand your ground, but your body wouldn’t let you, instead you hold your fort and protect yourself, shielding your cage from any comments that came towards you.

“Aw, now you’re silent, come here and I could have you screaming all night.” He reaches out for your wrist but luckily security got to him first, and they were anything but gentle, you were glad though, he got what was coming to him. It did surprise you that security apologised for his behaviour, giving you a gentle smile all at the same time inducing a fear into the man who disturbed your evening.

“Oh my, Ms, are you okay?” A man from your company asks you, sounding genuinely concerned.

“Yes, thank you, I’m okay, I’ve been through worse.”

“We’re glad to hear that you’re okay, would you like anything? Water?”

“Nooo, thank you for the offer though, but I’m really fine, thanks for calling security though.”

A look of confusion clicks on their face, almost simultaneously too.

“Uh, as much as we wanted to, we didn’t call them, we couldn’t find one in time.”

“Oh, weird, but luckily they saw, anyways, it was really lovely chatting to you guys, but I’m going to head out for some fresh air.”

“No worries at all Ms. L/N, you were a pleasure, please, you’re more than welcome to come up and chat again when you come back.”

Their comments warmed your heart, you shook all their hands, giving them a smile and moved towards the nearest door to a balcony. Once you stepped outside the cold yet refreshing breeze wrapped around your skin, making you shiver a little, but your body warmth and adrenaline was enough to calm the goosebumps down. To keep time going, you admire the city lights, you were so in love with San Francisco, and you were convinced it was in love with you too the way it welcomed you into its economic heart. Out in the distance you could see the iconic Golden Gate Bridge, blinkering and flaunting its lights to the entire city whilst providing guidance to the cars and vehicles passing through. You were in a trance, but there were no complaints coming out of you, just serenity. Too hyper focused on the view you didn’t hear the door open behind you and you certainly did not feel the presence of another body walking towards you.

“Enjoying the view?” Anonymous asks, after the whole fiasco with that grotty man, you were sure to be careful of random people coming up to you but something in you told you not to worry, the city spoke to you, and you listened.

“Very much, I’m so in love.” To your obliviousness, you don’t realise the other body with you is her. Jenna Ortega. The head and heir to the Ortega mafia family.

“Any right-minded person would be jealous of the love you have for the city.”

You giggle, and realise you feel your blood raise to your skin and your heart rhythm picks up a pace but wanting to keep their anonymity and for your own mysterious fun, you don’t turn around.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means any person would be jealous a city is getting your love rather than them.”

“Who says my love is worthy?”

“A beautiful woman like you? I can only imagine a small amount of the love you hold.”

“Beautiful? You don’t know what I look like.”

“Oh, please Ms L/N, you’ve been grabbing my attention all night, everywhere I looked, there you were, the light reflecting your beauty. But then an ugly man stood in your way, so I had to send security to escort him out, well throw him out, as you saw.”

Your heart fastens, you were sure it was going to jump out in a second, oh how badly you want to look, but you can’t. This was too much fun. However, this was the way to grab your attention, definitely not like how that man was doing earlier.

“You know how to charm a lady.”

“I try, might I ask, what do you think about the host.”

You let out a small huff of air, ironically this was your line, but now you’re the one being asked, you were at a standstill.

“Jenna? I don’t know, she’s a hard book to read.”

“And you’re good at reading people?”

“The best, but I don’t know, people are scared of her, the most feared women in America.”

Jenna giggles.

“You’re not scared?”

“Hmm, no, mind over matter always, she can have all these weapons and power, but I don’t know her mind, her true mind, so I have nothing to fear.” There was a slight bluff in that line, of-course you were slightly scared of her, who wouldn’t be? But that fear was surface level, just guns and weapons and power.

Though you couldn’t see who you were talking to, you could feel a smile form on their lips, but more of a proud smirk.

“Do you think she’s hot though?”

Okay, now that, that definitely grounded you to reality, that question hit you like a brick, it was so out of place, so unexpected, curious as ever, you finally turn around to greet the other soul aligning with yours.

Jenna. Fuck, y/n you’re so stupid, should’ve turned around earlier, just stay calm.

“Cats got your tongue? Or were you lying about not being scared?”

Both.

She’s wearing an emerald green suit that hugged her curves and angles, leaving the top few buttons undone, with an undone bow tie around her neck.

“No,” letting it out accompanied by a breath out, “I’m just surprised that you would come up to me.”

“There’s a pretty lady at my party, I want to talk to her, I go talk to her.”

“There are other pretty ladies here, and you can’t see half my face, I can’t say the same for you though, the host of a masquerade doesn’t wear a mask? That’s a Pandora’s box.”

Her eyebrows raise, a slight smirk forms before her mouth forms an O, clearly showcasing her tongue poking the side of her cheek.

“A mask means I have secrets, and I, have no secrets, an open book.”

“That’s ironic” you mumble.

“What’s that?”

“You say you have no secrets, but it’s a mission and a half to get an exclusive with you.”

“Journalist?”

“Rising star journalist.” Her eyes squint at your attempt to boost your ego.

“I could give you an exclusive upstairs.” You may be oblivious but you’re not naïve, you play along though, you were exclusive hungry, but you definitely weren’t going to open your legs for her.

“Lead the way.” She offers her hand, and you accept, now with each other’s arms linked, she leads you to an elevator, only accessible by her and her most trusted companions.

“Holy shit that’s Steph and Ayesha Curry!”

“Oh, hahaha yes, they’re close friends of mine, now do you want the Curry’s or the exclusive?”

“Both?”

“Don’t be greedy.”

“You’re the one whisking me away, so you can have me all to yourself.”

“Maybe, but you were the one who asked for something.”

“Touché.

Though there were two of you, the negative space in the elevator was filled with tension, making sure not to make eye contact with the mafia leader.

“You never answered the question, do you think Jenna is hot?”

You lean in, making sure to work her up in all the right places, even placing your hand on her waist.

“Hmm, nope. Desperate? Maybe. But hot? That’s a different story.”

“You’re playing hard to get.”

“Awe, poor baby, it’s tough not getting everything you want.” You flaunt a comedic pout at her but all she does is rolls her eyes.

As the elevators open, your mouth drops in sync with the slides, her penthouse was breath taking, though it was night time, the city lights lit up the room giving it a dark, twilight feel.

“Wow.”

“It’s okay.” She shakes it off.

“Way to be humble.”

“I am rich, sexy, kind, loving and humble.”

You scoff and roll your eyes, your subconscious taking a hold of you as it drags your physical body in.

Jenna starts pouring two glasses of Dom Pérignon for you two to enjoy. Making you laugh because no one had access to this downstairs, yes, downstairs had top shelf drinks, but not Dom, they didn’t have Dom.

A simultaneous “cheers” escapes your mouths as your glasses clink in unison.

“Before I start rambling on about me, tell me about yourself, I want to know you, the true you.”

“That seems fair, well since you already know my name, let’s skip that.” Jenna winks at you. “I never knew what a home was growing up, I was in foster care my entire childhood and teenage years, in many houses, but never homes only leaving the system because I turned 18, I never knew who my birth parents were, nor do I care, I’ve made it through life without them, made something out of myself, made my own name, and that’s when I learnt I could build a home for myself. And I did, I moved here, landed an amazing job at Bayseyes, and the CEO of the company? She’s my lifeline, my saving grace, she is my home. Oh, and uh, my favourite colour is red, evidently.” You smile, looking down at your dress. Making Jenna smile too as she analyses each body part of yours and skin that shows.

“You are one interesting book Ms. L/N.” Jenna darts her eyes to yours, soul to soul, down at your lips and back to your eyes, you know what she wants, she wants you. But doubts ran your mind asking if you want her.

You gasp and take a step back.

“Do you hate me?”

“What?”

“You have a chance with America’s most lusted woman, and you’re turning me down.”

“Okay first of all, that ego of yours, too big, second of all, who says I want this.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“Watch it.”

“Watch yourself, like you said everyone fears me, don’t forget how powerful I am.” Her tone sounds awry, evidently you pissed her off, but maybe she deserved it.

No words could leave your mouth after that, maybe then you truly knew her mind, her true mind, and that made answering no to her earlier question even easier, no, you didn’t find her hot, you found her revolting. You mouth a wowww, your eyes widening and your lips purse in, and you swear for a slight second you see Jenna vulnerable; you see her weak.  

“I should go, thanks for the drinks though.”

As you turn to leave the elevator doors open, a woman dressed, definitely not for the ball struts in, her scent reeking of desperation.

“Jenna, sugar bear, where have you been. I miss you! What, who’s this slut?”

As if you thought your eyes couldn’t widen anymore, you were wrong. As if Jenna couldn’t get more pissed, you were wrong, the fury in her pupils, your rejection already knocked her off course, she didn’t need a groupie barging in without announcement.

“This slut is about to leave.”

“Good.” Both exclaim.

But before you could turn and leave the doors open again, this time, a very aesthetically pretty lady, 5’5, brunette hair, adorned with layers and tan skin rushes in.

“JENNA, oh my, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop her.”

“No, it’s fine, Viv, she can stay, she, however, was just leaving, please show her the way out.”

She nods and you follow, but before turning your head, you see Jenna land a kiss on the other girl’s cheek, whispering in her ear, you guess it was something along the lines of meeting her in the bedroom, since the pattering legs ran to the bedroom. You don’t care though, it made you sick, that’s all you know.

Before the doors close, Jenna tries one more time, determined not to give up, rejection was something she never knew.

“Leave me with a kiss?”

You let out a slight laugh, almost mocking her, she was everything you were against, how could you open your soul to someone like her.

“No.”

“No?”

“Not when you’re everything I’m against.”

“How so?”

“Well, there’s a glock attached to your lumbar underneath your blazer.”

“Protection.”

You smile.

“Goodbye, Ms. Ortega.”

~~

Viv was there to witness every interaction she could have seen, and wow, she was shocked, she had never seen someone with such fire blow off Jenna like that, she liked you.

“I’m Viv, by the way.” She smiles, offering to shake your hand, you accept.

“Vivian?”

“Vivica!”

“Oh, how pretty, I’m-.”

“Y/N, uh yes, sorry ahah, I know, you’re the talk of the towers.”

“WHAT?”

“Just the staff and guards and the subjects, so uh, maybe the whole Ortega family.”

“Fuck.”

“No, no, we all like you, we find you interesting, we’ve never seen Jenna fiend for someone like that, it was refreshing, but you know, she’s not always like that, the way you saw her, in her penthouse.”

“Forgive me if I find that hard to believe. So, are you like her right-hand man? Woman?”

“Yeah, something like that, I handle mainly the business side, but I could whoop ass if I wanted to, her other right-hand man, the physical, more mafia side is Bruce, he was the guard that threw the guy out, the one who was harassing you.”

“OH! He was sweet, he smiled at me.”

“Lucky you, that means he likes you.”

As you step out the elevators into the main lobby, you can’t help but feel a sense of the unknown, there was lingering fire in you that you couldn’t pinpoint the origin, was it desire? Hatred? Lust? Regret? Hell, maybe even hunger.

“Thank you, Viv.”

“It’s no problem, Y/N, it was very nice to meet you, I hope our paths cross again!”

You hug her and she reciprocates it, just before hopping into your uber to take you home.

~~

As you got home, you had a sense of urgency to write, that electricity was back, you didn’t care about changing or freshening up, the words were flowing out of you and you needed to let it out, you are so sure this is your best work, you want this article published tonight so you type away. You have no control over your fingers, they were doing all the work, you just had to trust them.

… whether it be by her heart, her touch, or her gun, anyone that knows the elusive Ms. Ortega is destined to fall.

~~

Thank you for your support <3 I hope you enjoyed! 🦦

[fanficshiddles]

Eternally Mine, Chapter 8

The day that everyone had been waiting for finally arrived. The day of the Christmas ball.

Louise was round at Loki and Claire’s, getting ready with Claire in the spare room while Loki got ready in his and Claire’s room.

‘It was just perfect, he’s so sweet. The ducks were eating from his hand and it was the cutest thing.’ Louise gushed excitedly as she told Claire about her date in the park with Chris the other day.

‘I would pay good money to see that.’ Claire laughed.

‘I know he looks intimidating, but he’s so damn soft.’ Louise squealed as Claire did up the zip at the back of her dress.

‘He can look terrifying when he wants to, but yeah, I imagine you are getting the sweet side from him. I’ve seen it with Bat, he can be sweet and sensitive when he wants to.’ Claire laughed.

‘We walked around for a couple of hours, holding hands. He never let my hand go, even when we bumped into a couple of his ex-students, he even introduced me as his girlfriend to them.’ Louise blushed.

‘Aww, you are both so smitten with each other, it’s adorable. You’re going to look amazing together tonight.’ Claire said gleefully.

‘Not as amazing as you and Loki. You two are couple goals.’ Louise grinned as she turned around to help Claire with her dress.

‘Don’t tell Loki that, his head will get so big he won’t get through the door.’ Claire teased.

‘Ok, will keep it between us then.’ Louise laughed.

‘At least you’re kind of getting the equivalent to prom that you missed out on.’ Claire said softly.

‘That’s true. Though this will be much better than prom would’ve been anyway.’ Louise laughed nervously.

Ray never asked her to be his date for prom, even though they were dating at the time. He said it was stupid and a waste of time, when she had mentioned about still going, he’d made her feel bad for wanting to go without him. So she ended up skipping it.

‘I still can’t believe that Chris asked me to go with him… I hope he’ll like this dress.’

‘Of course he will. He’d like you even wearing a bin bag.’ Claire laughed. ‘Though that dress is amazing on you.’

Louise was wearing a black dress that flowed right down to the floor, the top part was black lace, with lace sleeves too.

Claire wore a dark green dress that went down to the floor too, it was low cut at the chest and had low straps that went around her upper arms rather than over her shoulders.

‘Green is Loki’s favourite colour, isn’t it?’ Louise asked Claire.

‘It is.’ Claire said with a smirk.

‘I’ll need to find out Chris’.’ Louise pondered.

‘Black like his soul.’ Claire joked, earing a playful punch to her arm from Louise.

Once they were both ready, they made their way downstairs. Loki was down there waiting, wearing a tuxedo, his black suit jacket had dark green lapels, he was looking very handsome as always. Making Claire’s mind turn to mush.

Loki grinned when he saw Claire and Louise, he wolf-whistled at them. ‘Wow, looking stunning, ladies.’ Though his eyes were quickly locked completely on Claire.

Claire blushed as she walked up to him and draped her arms around his neck, he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her in close as he dipped his head down to kiss her.

‘Chris is on his way… and we have a surprise for you both.’ Loki grinned and tore his eyes away from Claire to look at Louise.

‘A surprise?’ Claire raised an eyebrow. ‘What is it?’

‘Then it wouldn’t be a surprise.’ Loki chuckled and tapped her nose.

Louise felt her stomach lurch when Loki said that Chris was on his way over. She was so giddy with excitement and nerves again. She really wished she wouldn’t get so nervous when she was about to meet with Chris, she hoped that feeling would piss off soon. Though she knew like the last few dates, it would disappear once she was with him.

A little meow from behind her pulled her from her thoughts. She turned around to see Bat strolling up to her, purring before she had even reached her.

‘Hey, Bat.’ She laughed and crouched down to stroke her. ‘I wish you could come along.’

Bat let out a meow in response, though continued purring as Louise stroked under her chin.

‘She would cause chaos.’ Loki laughed.

Bat leaned to the side to look past Louise and let out a yowl at her owner, making Louise and Claire laugh.

Loki heard a car pull up and he heard Chris coming up the path to the door.

‘Our ride is here.’ Loki announced and turned to open the door to greet his brother.

‘Hey big bro. Looking rather dapper.’ Loki chuckled.

Chris had on a tuxedo as well, but he had a white jacket with black lapels instead and he had on black leather gloves. His hair was slicked back neatly, instead of just hanging down the sides of his face as usual.

‘Could say the same for you. You scrub up alright.’ Chris teased.

Chris looked past Loki, he saw Louise was bent over speaking to Bat with her back to them. She stood up and turned around upon hearing Chris, and his breath was knocked out of him.

Loki smirked upon seeing his reaction, so did Claire. Chris’ eyes went wide and his mouth parted but nothing came out at first, till he managed to get out a wow.

Louise blushed and looked down shyly as she walked towards him. Chris reached out and gently gripped her chin, tilting her head upwards so their eyes could meet. ‘You are so beautiful.’ He said softly, then leaned down to kiss her cheek.

She barely managed to say thank you, saying something incoherent instead.

‘That means thank you, in flustered Louise language.’ Claire teased.

Louise looked at Claire with wide eyes for a moment, with a look of I’m going to kill you for that.

Chris chuckled and stepped back a little, he offered his gloved hand out towards Louise. ‘Shall we?’

Louise took his hand without hesitation and he led her outside. Loki took Claire’s hand and they stepped outside after calling goodbye to Bat.

‘Oh my god!’ Both Louise and Claire squealed when they saw a white limo parked on the street.

‘Is this for us?’ Louise looked up at Chris, who was grinning from ear to ear at their reaction.

‘It is indeed. Taking us there and back again. I thought you deserved to be treated like a true princess.’ Chris winked at her.

Louise squeezed Chris’ hand, she wanted to cry with happiness, but didn’t want to mess up her make-up, so held it together.

Claire bobbed up and down in excitement. ‘Loki! You should have told me. This is amazing.’ She laughed and gave him a big hug.

There was a driver that got out and opened the door for them. The guys helped their girls in, then they got comfortable on the posh leather seats. When Chris sat down, Louise couldn’t help herself from sliding in close next to him.

‘Is that champagne?’ Claire asked when Loki opened a mini fridge that was at the front, he pulled out a bottle and glasses.

‘It is indeed.’ He grinned and proceeded to pour them all a glass.

Once they were settled, the driver set off to take them to the school. Even though it was only a ten-minute drive going the longer way, they still enjoyed turning up in style.

‘You told the driver to go the long way?’ Claire asked Chris.

‘Of course. Need to try and get our money’s worth, even if it just an extra five minutes.’ He grinned.

‘Do you think we can finish the bottle before we get there?’ Loki asked as he downed his first glass.

‘You and Chris might be alright but me and Louise will be on the floor if we try.’ Claire scoffed as she wrapped her arm around Loki’s.

‘We would like to at least make it in to the ball.’ Louise laughed.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll carry you in if you’re too drunk.’ Chris chuckled.

When they arrived at the school, there were already people there and heading inside. Jessica and Spencer had just arrived, Jessica gasped out loud when she saw the four get out of the limo.

‘Oh my god. So jealous! Where was our invite for this ride?’ Jessica said as she narrowed her eyes at the guys.

‘More than welcome to join us for the ride home.’ Chris offered as he helped Louise out.

‘Definitely!’ Jessica cheered.

‘Jessica, you look amazing!’ Claire gushed as she gave her a hug.

Jessica was wearing a lime green dress that was ankle length, and it was very low cut at her chest.

‘I knew I should’ve gone for a tuxedo.’ Spencer sighed after seeing Loki and Chris.

‘Nonsense, you look hot.’ Jessica assured him as she took his hand.

‘Well, let’s get inside.’ Loki smiled at Claire, he put his arm out for her.

Louise had already latched onto Chris’ arm as soon as they’d gotten out of the limo, making him feel pleased as punch. He could tell she was a bit unsure still around the others, till she got to know them more.

Chris had never felt prouder though as he walked into the hall with Louise on his arm. He couldn’t stop smiling.

The hall was decorated beautifully for the ball, streamers and balloons everywhere in lots of gold and silver colours. Everyone there, students included, looked amazing. Matt, David and Michael were wearing tuxedos, though Hannibal and Will wore suits, which made Spencer happy.

‘Where’s Severus? Surely, he’s not missing out on this event.’ Matt asked as he looked around the hall.

‘He will be here.’ Chris said confidently.

‘I dunno, this is Severus we’re talking about.’ Loki scoffed.

Just as they all got their drinks from the bar, the doors opened once more. The group all looked over when they realised it was Severus. In an all-black velvet suit. The beautiful woman on his arm was wearing a black dress, with long puffy sleeves and a big slit in the left side of the dress, it was very low cut down between her breasts and had slightly see through lace across the chest.

‘Finally, we get to meet his girlfriend.’ Claire said excitedly. ‘And holy shit, she’s hot!’

Loki’s eyebrows almost shot off his head when he saw who it was.

‘No fucking way.’ David gasped.

‘It’s her! She’s his girlfriend?’ Hannibal asked in disbelief.

‘Do we need to be worried?’ Matt asked.

‘Why do we need to be worried? Who is it?’ Louise asked Chris, concerned.

‘No need to be worried at all. I promise.’ Chris assured her, and the others. He lifted Louise’s hand up and kissed the back of it.

When Severus and his partner reached the group, he had a small smirk on his face from the look of shock on everyone's face.

‘Hey, Chris. You scrub up not too shabby for a hound dog.’

Chris smirked and chuckled a little. ‘Could say the same for you, you finally figured out what a shower is for, hmm?’

‘Wait, you knew?’ Loki asked Chris, still in disbelief.

‘Of course I did. I could smell them on one another from a mile away.’ Chris scoffed.

Severus chuckled slightly in amusement. ‘Everyone, this is my soulmate, Toshi.’  

Claire was the first one to dart forward. ‘So nice to finally meet you! You look absolutely gorgeous if you don’t mind me saying.’ She said as she shot her hand out towards her.

Toshi laughed lightly and blushed a little bit as she shook her hand. ‘Nice to meet you too, Claire.’

‘Wait, how do you know her name?’ David asked, confused.

‘I wouldn’t be a very good hunter if I didn’t know about you all.’ Toshi smirked.

‘Hunter?’ Louise asked quietly.

‘Yes, Toshi is a hunter. She was once the most ruthless hunter out there. However, no need to worry. She only goes after the bad vampires now, she is on our side.’ Chris explained to her.

‘You’re still tiptoeing the line though, brother.’ Loki grumbled a bit at him.

Louise’s face was a little panicked at that.

‘To be fair, he has helped me with a few bad guys lately that needed wiped off the face of the Earth.’ Toshi interjected with.

‘Really?’ Loki raised an eyebrow and looked at Chris, who looked a little irritated. Though he was glad that she said that, as he felt Louise relax again.

‘I am… trying.’ Chris said as he glanced briefly at Loki.

‘You’re the one who’s been looking over the school, right?’ Matt asked Toshi.

‘Yep. That’s me.’ Toshi nodded. ‘So I think you all owe me a drink as thanks.’

‘I think that’s the least we can do for all your help lately.’ Loki chuckled as they all headed for the bar.

‘Right. Let’s get this party started!’ Jessica whooped as the music started up.