#(who WASN'T still dealing with issues from their parents aha)

[perpetualxfire]

What kind of headcanons do you have for Carolina’s childhood or teenage years?

 (... That’s a really vague question, aha. But since her childhood and teenage years are basically going to be 100% headcanon I can go into a little bit. Just be warned that, by necessity, I have to draw my own conclusions about the Director, so if you’re particularly invested in him as a character, please assume that I’m not going by any one interpretation and rather by my own analysis.)

 (I know it’s popular in fanon to say that the Director was an awful father and/or critically neglectful and/or otherwise deliberately harmful, but I personally don’t think that was the case, especially given Carolina’s loyalty to him paired with her later unwillingness to actually follow through on killing him. To me, it’s very clear that her affection for her father is real and deep, no matter how angry or confused or hurt she is. Some might use this to point to a history of abuse, and if that’s the narrative they want to play, I won’t stop them; to me, though, it tells a different story.)

 (In my official headcanon, Carolina was an only child (though I have multiple AUs and an entire OC that begs to differ, this is simply the narrative that makes the most logical sense to me). Her father wasn’t hyper demanding, so much as he always pushed her to put forth his best effort; perhaps the most toxic I imagine it getting is a “Is this really your best effort?”, which might not even be intended particularly snidely. From a parenting perspective, it could easily be a case of ‘should i encourage you to do better, or are you actually having difficulty with this, and if so, should I offer help and how?’, but to young Katelyn, this was always a challenge (especially as a teenager), and a mentality that would carry with her well into adulthood.)

 (As for his presence in her childhood... To say he was neglectful wouldn’t be fair. He was a single parent trying to earn a doctorate degree while also trying to earn enough money to raise a kid. There are inherent challenges in that that makes it difficult to balance one’s time. Was it fair to Kate? Not particularly, but neither was her mother passing when she was only six years old. According to the official timeline in the guide, her father didn’t have his doctorate until she was twelve years old - leaving a whole six years to develop her own thoughts and opinions on the world, which would shape her personality entering her teenage years. He’d missed out on perhaps some of the most important years of her life - which would cause the beginning of a strain in their relationship for the rest of his. This is a strain that she’s later come to regret, but the decisions that he made when she was an adult and out of the house were his own to make, and while she often wonders what would have happened if she’d been a bit less hostile as a teenager, she has eventually, through a great deal of soul-searching, learned not to blame herself for anything that happened after.)

 (As mentioned above, though, as a teenager, she was often far colder. She saw his distance as a lack of love, rather than as the product of intense work that it was, and with him being around the house more often, she had ample opportunity to make her displeasure known. As she began to explore who she was, she realized more and more how much of who she was was based in her early childhood, without always connecting the logical dots of why. To say the Director is particularly great with people would be a blatant falsehood, as well, which minimized the chances to mend the relationship. Teenagers are notoriously difficult to raise, and she was always torn by her desire to impress him and her desire to express her upset. She didn’t know any healthy outlets, and as a result her quest for validation was often supplemented by a short temper if the validation she was looking for wasn’t there in a form she knew how to digest. Could she have benefited from therapy? Absolutely; did she get any? That’s... Not really an avenue I’ve explored.)

 (As soon as high school was over (and she certainly pushed to get out as early as possible with her diploma intact), Kate went off to college, leaving her father and home behind as quickly as she could, before eventually becoming a commissioned officer in the UNSC, to glaze over a great deal of detail, and this pattern as a teenager would unfortunately carry over to the project, as a great deal of her issues as a teenager were never properly worked through. Early in the project she had a handle on it, but as things destabilized, as she and every other agent was manipulated, it would all come to the surface again, whether she liked it or not.)